#because for some reason chances are very high that even just a 20-30 min deep nap will just completely cancel out the ibuprofen

[usodeshou]

Accidental exhaustion naps are wild. They take you under in a heartbeat, make you dream the most insane shit and then spit you back out, and after waking up you feel completely disconnected from time and space, as if you exist in a bubble that is a snapshot of reality surrounded by nothing but black emptiness, and if it were to burst, you'd turn into a mist of water along with it and simply fade away. Completely bonkers.

[ateezthings]

ATEEZ Reaction: S/O being really anxious

*Trigger warning*: DO NOT Read this if you’re uncomfortable with talks about mental health, anxiety, eating disorders and depression in particular or if you feel like this could trigger you in any way. Please take care of yourselves.

Angst

Gender neutral

Whining ahead: Since temporarily moving to Korea, my anxiety and depression have been through the roof and I don’t know how to fix it anymore. I don’t know anyone here and it feels like all the other international students have already made friends and I feel left out because I naturally take a really long time to warm up to people in order for me to feel comfortable around them. I’m scared of leaving my room and my anxiety levels are high constantly. I feel like I’m constantly watched and judged and I feel misplaced like I’ve never felt before to the point where I wish I didn’t wake up anymore. I don’t know what’s freaking me out exactly and I don’t know why I thought I could do this since I’ve had mental health issues for many years now. I know I have to endure this until I get back home again so I’m not suicidal but I’ve had a really hard time here. I’m scared of leaving my room to go eat because I’m scared my housemates are gonna judge me for whatever reason. This has gone to the point where I’ve starved myself for a whole day because I was too anxious to leave my room. I feel like every shop employee is judging me for everything. The uni where I’m studying is so huge and confusing and I’m scared of being the only foreigner in my classes. I feel like I’m going insane so I wanted to write this to distract me for a little while. Sorry that this is so angsty and dramatic but I had to get that off my chest.

Seonghwa

‚Seonghwa?‘ You’re voice was merely a whimper.

‚What’s wrong, baby?‘

‚It’s getting worse again, could you come over?‘

- He didn’t need to hear more

- you were sitting on the couch, eyes wide open with worry, fidgeting with your nails, when he arrived

- he immediately put his arms around you

- you could feel his warmth and his steady heartbeat

- after a few moments Seonghwa looked you in the eyes and told you to breath with him: in for 5 seconds, out for 7 seconds

- after that you were able to calm down a little bit

- you spent the rest of the evening cooking together

Hongjoong

Did you eat today, babe?

- This simple text from Hongjoong made your anxiety explode: right you haven’t eaten anything all day, you have to eat. But what? You didn’t want to go outside, not today. But you’re fridge was empty, what were you supposed to do? you needed to buy food bt you couldn’t leave the house because your anxiety was so bad today

- in the end you decided to lie to Hongjoong, you sent him a ‚sure‘ back

- he responded with a ‚don’t lie to me‘

- of course he knew you were lying, so he showed up at your place 20 mins later with some Tteokbokki and his cute smile

- after he greeted you with a sweet kiss, he got two plates and made you sit down at the table

‚You feeling better now?‘

‚A little‘ you smiled, it was nice knowing that someone cared

Yunho

- you were in class, supposed to be dividing up into groups when everyone around you was already in a group

- that was it for your anxiety: no one wants to work with you, what if it was something you said? What if they all secretly hate you and laugh about you behind your back, maybe you should just drop out, but what would you do then? Probably nothing, cause your mental health destroyed everything

- after about 5 minutes your teacher noticed you weren’t in a group so he just randomly put you in one

- you felt everyone staring at you, it was horrifying

- after that class you immediately went home

- Yunho knew something was up when you didn’t respond to his texts the whole day so he decided to drop by your place after his schedule

- you didn’t realize you missed him until he was standing in front of your apartment

- you told him how bad your anxiety was today and he listened to everything you had to say

‚These thoughts that you’re having are just thoughts you know? That’s not the whole reality. And also you’re not on this earth to please the people in your class… You know I love you right?‘

- the whole thing didn’t seem so severe after you talked it out with Yunho

Yeosang

- Yeosang knew the four character long password to your house and also to your room, he wanted to surprise you with his visit

- what he didn’t expect was to see you in fetal position on the floor, shaking and breathing unsteady, having a full on panic attack

- he dropped everything he was holding and tried to put you in a sitting position

‚Y/N? It’s going to be okay, I’m here alright? Can you breath with me?‘

- he made you take a few deep breaths with him

- after you had calmed down a bit you two cuddled in your bed, first he was the big spoon, after a while you requested to be the big spoon

- while you were cuddling you talked to him about what was making you so anxious

- at some point Yeosang wanted to show you some of his favorite calming songs (some of my personal favorites: Coldplay - O / Oktoba - Chance / Before you exit - clouds)

- listening to these songs and having him around made you feel more okay

San

- San asked you out to dinner in the morning, you panicked all day

- you knew he didn’t wanna cause any discomfort for you but it made you anxious: what if you couldn’t find the restaurant, what if you had to wait a long time for San and then people start looking at you, what should you order that you felt comfortable eating around so many people, oh god there would be a lot of people at the restaurant right? You felt extremely uncomfortable around that many people, what if San didn’t have time to walk you home and you had to walk home by yourself, what if there was a burglar waiting for you around the next corner, it surely would be dark outside when you two finished at the restaurant

- all those thoughts were running through your mind, it was overwhelming

- so you asked San if you could just cook something at your place and he obviously agreed, it was much more comfortable that way

- he brought all the ingredients for some pasta, which you both loved

- you spent the evening making a mess in the kitchen, kissing in front of the overflowing pot of pasta water and just making jokes

- a little later you told him about your anxiety

- San was a little shocked when you told him but he reassured you that you could always tell him when you were feeling anxious

Mingi

- it was a miracle you actually got out of bed today

- you told yourself you had to eat, starving yourself was not an option anymore, so you ventured out into the world

- you decided on buying some Kimbap from the convenience store, everything was fine

- until the shop assistant looked at what you were buying and then scanned you from top to bottom with his eyes

- was there anything wrong with your face? Did you look so depressed? They were definitely judging you

- you practically ran out of the shop after paying, heading straight home

- when you looked at yourself in the mirror at home you couldn’t see what the shop employee was staring at which only made your anxiety worse

- having a full fledged panic attack you somehow managed to call Mingi on his phone

‚Babe, are you okay?‘

‚No… I’m uh... having… a panic… attack‘

- honestly Mingi was really freaked out when you told him that

- after a moment he remembered you telling him that he could help you breath very deeply, you two had only faintly spoken about your anxiety and Mingi hadn’t witnessed you having a panic attack

‚Okay babe, now you need to breath very deeply with me okay? Breathe in…1…2…3…4…5 and out…1…2…3…4…5...6…7… Do it with me again!‘

- breathing deeply like that helped you regain control

- in the evening Mingi showed up at your place with some camomile tea and some lavender oil, apparently he read online that these things are supposed to feel you calm

- after that incident he was so sweet and thoughtful towards you, even more than he already was

Wooyoung

- it was a new semester at your new uni/school, this one was much bigger than your previous schools

- at one point you needed to print something important so you went looking for a printer, you knew it had to be on this floor somewhere

- after 30 mins of walking around the same floor you where completely freaked out, all the other people where staring at you like you were dumb or something, this was bad

- but you couldn’t ask people where the printer was because then they thought you were stupid and that also involved social interaction which you avoided at all costs

- so you hid in the toilets

- after panicking in there for about 10 mins you texted Wooyoung

- he replied: ‚I have a break in 15 minutes, meet me at the entrance‘

- he knew you needed help when you were anxious like that

- as soon as he met you he took your hand and guided you to the floor the printer was supposed to be on

- when he couldn’t find it, he just asked a student that was sitting in the hall

- for Wooyoung everything seemed so easy, you admired him for that and you told him that

‚Not at all, but I just freak out at different things, everyone has these moments.‘ and he gave you a little smile

- he invited you to dinner later, where you talked everything out, it really calmed you down

Jongho

(I love this look on him sm)

- you had to go to the embassy to take care of something

- problem was it was on the other side of the city and you had to change trains a bunch of times and also walk a bit and just the thought of getting lost made you sick with anxiety

- so you texted Jongho if he had some time to come with you

‚You’re lucky, we finish early today. Will be at your place in 1 hour‘

- knowing Jongho was gonna be with you eased your mind a little

- even if you got lost you had him, even if the people at the embassy looked at you weird, he was gonna be there with you to help you

- you were safe with him

- he held your hand all the way to the embassy and squeezed it occasionally when he noticed you got too into your anxious thoughts

[shittyfandomimagines]

Going, Going, Gone

Word count: 1,856

Pure angst, my pure heart is hurt.

Obviously some things are distorted.

(GIF creds to owner.)

Tour was supposed to be fun or whatever, but then again I wasn’t the one who was singing. I wasn’t the one who gets to be around thousands of hyped up people. I wasn’t the one who did the meet and greets.

I don’t want to sound like an attention hog, but I was not the one who had Calum’s attention. I knew that I wouldn’t always be when I first got here after their second leg of the tour started, it’s just that Calum was ecstatic to be around me. As time went on, I was just kind of there like a coat-hanger, useful sometimes but in the way.

We have just started to argue more and bicker about stupid stuff. I knew the guys were picking up on it and I tried to just let it go, but I couldn’t. I hated that they heard all the arguing and how it didn’t seem like Cal was here for me.

The quick wind that pushed past me had snapped me out of my trance, I look up to see Calum had walked past me to get some coffee from the little deck towards the corner of the bus. “Good afternoon,” I mumble quietly and twirl my thumbs. “Yeah.” He replies in a monotone voice, per usual.

We were up bickering most of the night and I didn’t like it, but what was I gonna do? Neither of us had apologized for a fight in so long that I didn’t even feel like we were the same Calum and y/n that everyone knew.

“Good afternoon beautiful people!” Ashton came bounding down the hallway cheerfully, completely nosediving to jump his way beside me on the (very) small couch. Calum gave him a look and the sat on the other small couch in front of us. Ashton laid his head on my lap and completely ignored Calum’s glare.

His hair was slicked back and I kept flicking the one piece that was hanging over his forehead. “You should dye your hair,” I suggest as he was swatting my hand away. “What color?” He asks as he finally gave up trying to stop me. “Red. You’d like nice with red hair.” I think aloud and he just shrugs. “We’ll see. Maybe after the tour is over I will.” He says and then sits up.

“I’ll be outside walking if anyone needs me, just try not to,” Calum utters under his breath and then stomps towards the door. Ash and I give each other a look, this wasn’t the first time this week that he did this. “I’ve got him this time, it’s my turn,” I say and stand up from the couch.

I had to basically jump off the last step because it always seemed so high, usually, Cal would laugh but he hasn’t recently. He hasn’t done a lot of things recently. He had just made it past the back of the bus, he was still walking straight ahead. Luckily, there were no fans in sight.

When I finally get behind him, I tug his jacket slightly. “Calum, just stop for a second.” I plead and he comes to a halt, turning very abruptly. “What the fuck do you want?” He snaps and my eyes widen. “Jesus, what is wrong now?” I roll my eyes.

“You! You’re always so lovey-dovey towards Ashton and you never fucking care about me! Why the fuck would you even come on this tour if you didn’t plan on caring about me and just fucking being around everyone else all the time?” He yells and I signal my hand for him to be quieter and I point towards the bus still being fairly close to us.

“You had the chance to ask him to move. You had the chance to act that way with me any fucking time. This is not my fault Calum, you’re the one constantly bringing up shit that doesn’t make sense. At least your best friends are more caring about me than you are.” I snarl and he just laughs. He fucking laughs!

I wanted to rip that pretty little smirk off of his face.

“You’re right, they care more about you than I do nowadays. Just because I invited you here doesn’t mean that everyone fucking wants you here right now. Fuck off!” He says emotionless and I feel my heart break a little. I guess it’s one thing to not feel wanted by your peers but another thing to not be wanted by your boyfriend.

“I-uh. Yeah, well I just wanted to check on you. Ash mentioned something about an interview in 20 minutes.” I lie about Ashton saying it, I just memorized the schedule this morning at 3 am after our fight so I could distract myself.

I just try to pull all the tears back in and turn around as quick as I could so he wouldn’t see my eyes becoming glassy.

I keep my head low as I walked onto the bus and the guys tried to speak but I just wave them off. “Cal said he’d be done with his walk soon so you guys could leave for the interview.” I lie, once again, and go to the empty spare bunk bed to lay down.

“Change in interview stuff guys, the interviewers have moved the production of it to the actual arena. They want to do a backstage thing with you guys before the show, so they thought it would be easier to just start off the day here. They’re going to be setting up and I’ll give you the call when they’re done. Tell Calum.” I couldn’t pick up whose voice it was because of how far back this bunk was, but I just let the guys do their own rejoicing thing. God knows I’m a bother to them.

—-

The guys had left for their interview like 15 minutes ago and I was currently doing my annual sweep of the venue. I liked to do this so the night of the concert when things were more hectic, I could do my own thing and know where everything was.

I accidentally found myself at the section of the venue where the interview was being placed, I stopped in my tracks so quick. I slowly walked backward and just stood behind everyone and listened in. No one knew I was there, per usual.

“So love guys? What are we feeling about that subject?” The girl from the interviewer asks. “I don’t believe in love anymore, all I love is Duke and music,” Calum says something first and my heart literally shattered. “So you and your girlfriend aren’t in love anymore?” The interviewer sounded intrigued.

“Of course we’re in love, we’ve been together for 2 years.” He says quickly and I shake my head, tears begin to brim my eyes. Being together for 2 years isn’t exactly the reason to be in love. I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t want to be around Calum anymore.

I wipe off any sign of tears and I tap Jakes shoulder (the guy who was in charge of flights and hotels) and he turns around quickly. Jake was a complete jokester, we all absolutely loved this guy. “Hey, sweet girl.” He says and it probably sounds weird, but he’s like 50 and a hero.

I could see in his eyes that he was apologetic and upset, but he smiled at me anyway. “I need you to cancel any flights or hotel rooms for me, I’m going home,” I say and his nose scrunches up. “Are you sure? Have you spoke to Calum?” He asks as he gets his phone out of his back pocket.

“Yeah, we spoke. Thanks, Jake!” I say and hug him slightly, I turn around and sniffle quickly. I start to walk away but someone tugs my shoulder lightly.

“Oh, hey Mitchy.” I smile warmly and he gives me a look. “I heard you speaking to Jake. You’re leaving?” He asks and I nod quickly. “Calum knows, I just need some time for myself.” I lie and he chuckles.

“You still suck at lying.” He jokes and I shrug. “It doesn’t matter where I am at, Calum wouldn’t care.” I groan and Mitchy scrunched his eyebrows. “Calum loves you and he’s probably just going through something. You can’t just leave without telling him.” He crosses his arms and I just roll my eyes.

“Mitch, I can just leave a note on his bed. If I know this guy pact that you guys have going on, you’ll end up telling him. So, please just wait until after the show. Please. I don’t want this to make the show weak and hurt the fans.” I beg and he nods. “Fine, but what should I tell him?” He asks.

“Tell him I’m staying with my sister, he’ll get the memo. Bye, congrats on hitting number 1 by the way.” I hug him quickly and had to literally jog away before I let my tears all out.

“Y/n! Y/n!” Fans were calling my name and I literally froze. How was I supposed to leave with suitcases and bags? I breathe in deeply, turn away and wipe my eyes. I take the sunglasses that were hanging off my shirt and put them over my eyes.

“Hey, guys!” I smile warmly at all of them and they were acting calm thank goodness. “Can we get a picture? If you’re not busy or anything.” They were so polite and it literally warmed my heart. There were only about 5 girls and they had all just been so cute while taking pictures. Then it hit me, I knew how to make sure they were gone so I could leave.

“Do you guys have ID on you?” I ask and they all nod. “Tell me your names,” I ask and I pull my phone out and text one of the guys in management. I send him their names and tell him that they have their ids to verify. I requested that they make it inside m&g because they were so nice. They respond with a thumbs up and I smile.

“You guys just scored some m&g tickets, just show them your ID. They all line up in 30 mins.” I say and they all had tears. “Thank you so much! We love you!” They all cried as they were basically running back towards the front.

I let my tears come back as I walked inside the bus. I write a quick note and lay it on Calum’s bed. I drag my suitcase out and put all my items back in. I get my pink bag and put all my items from the bathroom back in it. I look around and make sure that I had everything. I took one more deep breath as I called my sister, she could obviously hear the wavering in my voice but gladly said I could join her.

I book a flight back to my hometown and the flight leaves tonight.

I guess this is it. This is it.

Part 2 guys????

[livingcorner]

DIY Garden Fence

Building a DIY garden fence is ideal to keep pests like rabbits and deer out of the garden so you can ensure you will have a successful harvest for all the hard work you have put in. So when we opened up a new field we decided and designed a simple and cost-effective fence with varying options so you can be inspired to do something similar with minimal effort and simple materials while still looking beautiful.

You're reading: DIY Garden Fence

What is the Cheapest Garden Fence to Build?

Building a great garden fence inexpensively and efficiently is easy with galvanized fencing, t-posts, and just using Cedar 4×4 for the corners to hold the fence. Add a simple gate with 2 more additional Cedar posts. The metal fencing is easy to install at a reasonable price compared to lumber. Choose the fencing you want for your fence aesthetically. You can find great prices on metal fencing at stores like Lowe’s or local Farm Equipment stores in your area. A few quick things to know about building your garden fence on a budget:

Use steel or aluminum rolled fencing: this fencing will both be efficient in covering a large area, but also will

Use T-Posts and not U-posts for the fencing support: Using t-posts is an effective and inexpensive way to build your garden fence with less lumber.

Borrow Tools and Supplies from Friends: If you aren’t going to continue building things save money by finding a way to borrow tools from friends and neighbors. This makes it more cost-effective.

Why Do You Need a Garden Fence?

We have a garden fence to keep pests out more than anything. Keeping deer out in particular in Northern Michigan is very important and essential to a great garden.

Keep our chickens in. We plan to let our chickens clean up our garden at the end of the season and they will get the chance to daily forage out there for a few hours each day. The hope is this will improve the soil as well especially since we have determined that this will be where we have our tomatoes and peppers and beans which take a lot of nutrients to grow.

It can keep a beautiful aesthetic to your space and create a cozy experience.

What to Consider for Your DIY Garden Fence:

Think about how to adapt it as need be. We designed the fence with tall corner posts but used a lower fence because this saves materials but also because if deer choose to jump it we will simply add metal cord from post to post which will just as effectively keep them out as more fencing that is super high and adds double the cost. In most cases, even in high-density deer population areas, this is MORE than effective.

Cedar is the most non-toxic option, but more expensive. So when we place wood into the ground it is very important to use wood that is graded for ground contact. This typically means either Cedar or a Pressure Treated Pine. Pressure-treated wood has a lot of chemicals and if you are using this around a garden where you will be growing food this isn’t a good thing as the plants will ingest that in the water and soil and ultimately it gets to you…YUCK! So make sure you use Cedar. It is more expensive but buying less galvanized fencing and using T-posts will help with that cost.

Use T-Posts instead of more Wood posts to save money. T-posts are metal posts that you drive into the ground and they are just effective especially between posts. They are much less expensive than a 4×4 cedar post is so you can save money and they look just as good especially once you have things climbing your fence as they are green.

Place a post every 4-8 feet depending on the length of your fencing. It is REALLY important to have a fence that stays vertical and upright and even that you have post-specific distances away from each other. Otherwise, it will get floppy and won’t be as strong.

Begin with Corner Posts and use a Level. It is VERY important to make sure your corner posts are straight and level up and down. They need to be cemented into the ground as well.

Have a gate and have fun with it. We wanted a little fence that allowed us the chance to grow things up a small little arbor. We haven’t chosen what will grow but we love the option it gives us. The gate uses simple black outdoor hardware for the gate and just kept it simple making a square and putting the fencing in the middle.

Building your own DIY garden fence takes some work for sure, but if you do it right it can be an attractive and beautiful addition to your home and gardening life so you can worry less about pests like deer and rabbits.

For Your DIY Garden Fence You Need:

6 – 8′ or 10′ Cedar 4″x4″ Posts – $184.62

2-8 – 2-in x 6-in x 8-ft Cedar (gate wood) – $34.96

100′ total – 4′ tall Galvanized Steel Fencing – $76.63

50′ total – 4′ tall Galvanized Steel Fencing –  $66.00

20 – 3″ x 6′ T-posts – $83.60

1 – Black Gate Hinges  – $12.28

1 – Gate Latch – $5.48

18 – Quickrete 50-lb Fast Setting Concrete Mix – 104.40

1 box – 1-1/4-in Leg x 1/4-in – $13.98

3 boxes – 25- Pack Fence Fasteners – $1.89

Tools to Build Your Garden Fence:

Pick Axe

Post Driver

Power Drill

Hammer

Circular Saw

Shovel

Level

Fence Post Digger

Pliers

The total (pre-tax) cost of our DIY garden Fence for a 30×35 foot garden bed was: $583.84

To build your Own DIY Garden Fence here is the how-to:

Measure the depth of how deep the posts will go. We chose 10′ cedar 4×4 posts and put them 2′-3′ into the ground depending upon the grade of the location. We wanted the fence to look level from a distance so the uphill posts are 3′ deep and the downhill posts are 2′ deep.

2. Before you add any concrete, level the posts with support braces and check the vertical level on all sides.

Read more: Why are there so many mushrooms coming up in my yard and garden, and what can I do about them?

3. The BEST tip for the entire garden fence is to choose Fast-Setting Quickrete. You literally dump the dry bag into the hole and spray enough water to wet the concrete and leave it. In about 45 min it’s complete.

4. Typically the primary reason for constructing a garden fence is to keep deer out of your garden. However, there are also animals and pests that like to dig under your fence. Therefore if you drop the fence one to two feet into the ground it will keep critters from digging under your fence.

5. After you have set the corner and gate-posts for your garden fence, it’s time to drive all of your t-posts into the ground. Make sure they are the same height on the top with a guideline and do not fill in the trench yet.

6. Now that you have all of your cedar posts, and your t-posts set for your garden fence, it is time to roll out the welded wire fence and begin attaching it to the corner posts and t-posts.

7. To add a clean, but also safe, look to the garden fence we added some corner cap boards to cover up the areas where two peices of welded wire joined together.

Read more: How to get to Garden Island in Potts Point by Bus, Train or Light rail | Moovit

8. Finally, the last step in your garden fence is to build or add your gate. We used the extra cedar boards from our deck to layout a gate with some of the extra welded wire.

If this was helpful you may want to use our Soil Guide for helping you know how to develop proper soil for your garden or this post to learn about using Steel for Your Raised Beds. You can also find out how to clear a field for your garden to grow in this post.

6 Responses

I love DIY, saves cost and I enjoy every bit of it. Thanks for sharing!

Roughly what’s the size of your garden?

about 35’x30′

We’re really thinking of using this method to fence in our garden! It’s in our front yard, since that is the only sunny spot on our property, and man oh man, the deer and bunnies love getting in there.

Quick Q! Which is kind of dumb, but did you just use like, outdoor deck screws to assemble the door?

Thank you for sharing the post! I know a lot of time went into thinking about the design and researching it, so I appreciate you doing all that leg work for me

Yes just deck screws! I think you will enjoy it. It works great!

This post has given me an idea of help my mom make her fence, even though likes hers to have a cover on top (like a roof) to prevent from high temperature sunlight. Good work

Source: https://livingcorner.com.au Category: Garden

source https://livingcorner.com.au/diy-garden-fence/

[doujinshijo]

Comic City Spark 12 #3 - ticketing and what to prepare on the day

You can check out part 1 and part 2 here.

Right, now for ticketing. Basically, your ticket to CCS12 is your brochure:

This brochure is hefty. It’s about 2-3cm thick and contains all of the information about the event you could want including circle locations, maps and even a cartoon explaining how you should conduct yourself on the day. It’s invaluable, not to mention the fact that you physically must carry it around with you as it’s proof that you paid your entry fee. 

There are a couple of ways to get the brochure:

buy it in advance from an approved store. Most big anime/manga chains like Animate, Melonbooks etc are stockists, but you can check a list of confirmed stores on Akaboo’s site. It’s worth noting that this is both more expensive than buying it on the day (1,900JPY compared to 1,600JPY on the day) and subject to selling out pretty quickly. I wasn’t able to get one this way, but then I didn’t actually ask until the day before the event so…yeah.

buy it on the day at the event entry tents. The brochures are issued one per person, so you can’t buy one for you and your mate - they must buy it themselves separately. A word of warning - you can NOT use a single banknote higher than 1,000JPY to buy it. Make sure you have change.

I believe you can buy a separate entry ticket without brochure for 1,400JPY - but I'm not 100% sure that’s the case, and at any rate your brochure is your backup in case your online prep doesn’t cut it (particularly because it contains detailed maps which you can detach from the book itself). Plus, it’s an awesome souvenir.

The day before the event: This is your last chance to make sure you have everything you need for the big day. I prepared this handy dandy checklist of everything I brought and found useful:

Why a flat, shoulder-carried tote? Very simply - you will be buying doujins in very cramped quarters (there’s just about enough room for a 2-person-deep queue on each side of the row and a narrow lane of traffic to pass by in the middle) and at high speed to keep queues moving. A flat tote is easy to open and slide a book in, and will keep them flat. It also means you don’t need to take a backpack off your back, open it, put the book in, close it and put it back on…trust me, when you’re surrounded by people in a rush to get past you you will be grateful that you optimised your stashing speed. You also need your hands free to prepare money, pick up books, hold queue markers if necessary…so a simple flat tote will be your best friend.

Now, when I went to this event, my plan was to show up very early to get a good place in the queue. I got into the queue at 8am (opening time 10am) and there were a couple of hundred people in front of me. If you’re planning to show up late in the afternoon once the crowds have subsided you may not need items like snacks etc. Water though is always a good idea, particularly if it’s hot out as the halls can get warm and you may be standing/queuing for a while for popular circles.

Check your mode of transport. Akaboo ask that visitors do not come by car - instead, you should use public transport (which is adapted according to the demands of the event - Comiket influences the entire infrastructure of the area, including mobile phone services, when it’s on!). The closest station is Kokusai-Tenjijo which is about 7 minutes walk away and on a direct line (JR Saikyo line, which changes to the Rinkai line without leaving the train) from Shinjuku station. It takes about 35 mins from Shinjuku JR station. Note though that trains don’t run this full route as often as other JR trains, and part of the journey isn’t covered by the JRPass so will cost you an extra 330JPY one way. You can find more on Tokyo Big Sight’s website.

Finally, Akaboo recommend getting a good night’s sleep and to avoid attending if you’re sick.

The day of the event: Check the weather. If it’s sunny, make sure you bring something to cover your head/neck from the sun if you’re planning to queue early, and apply sunscreen. If it’s raining, bring an umbrella, for there is no cover in the queue area. You may also want to bring something to sit on as you will be perched on the tarmac until opening time - some of the more hardcore participants had mini folding stools. If you’re happy to sit straight on the ground (I was), that’s cool.

Wear flat shoes. Please don’t be tempted to make a statement in any kind of heels or fancy footwear - it’s not worth it if you will be hurrying about and queuing, plus there is literally nowhere to sit inside the halls.

Leave early to catch your train. Follow the crowds to TBS - you can’t miss it. Check the signs - there will should be signposts for the East halls (東) or West halls (西). Note it’s quite a long walk - maybe 10 minutes or more - to get to the East Hall queuing area from the station-end of the site, and you’ll end up walking all around the building feeling like you’ve been sent off to the middle of nowhere…trust me, it will all make sense when you get there. 

If you get stuck you can try asking the staff directing the crowds, but be aware that not many speak English as this is not really considered a tourist attraction. I used very broken Japanese - “Kippu kaimas (literally “ticket buy” - hey, all I had was my English-Japanese dictionary)” - to find where to queue if you didn’t already have a ticket, but I think people actually queue in the same place regardless so you can just ask where to go for East Hall 1, West Hall 3 etc (or, if you looked up which “Event category” your circles are in e.g. Splash!, RTS!! etc using Navio, you can point this out on the checklist carried by staff). The staff I spoke to all recognised the names of the halls in English perfectly, and certainly helped as much as they could by pointing me in the right direction. 

When you get to the start of the queuing area you will see the ticket tents. There are a couple of queue options which are clearly marked - 1,400JPY for (I believe) ticket only, or 1,600JPY for brochure entry (recommended). As I mentioned before, do not attempt to use any 5,000JPY or higher notes or - heaven forbid - credit cards to pay; you will be sent to a separate queue to get change first, and there are no facilities to accept credit card. Anywhere. Inside or out.

Next, if you’re queuing in the East area, you will be divided into queuing groups depending on which halls you want to go into. This is where your online prep pays off; head for the sign for your chosen hall. I wanted to prioritise East 1 as about 5 of my favourite circles were in there, so I headed to the sign marked  “東 1.2.3″. We were asked to sit in lines of 4 wide and about 40-50 long. Once the line was full, the next block of 4 wide would be started alongside. When the queue moves to the entrance you’ll be moved in your original block of 4 wide, so there’s no chance of you losing your spot to someone that arrived later than you. It also doesn’t matter if your friend queues beside or behind you as you will move together regardless (my partner sat behind me, but most people sat next to their friends).

And all that’s left to do is sit down and wait until the staff move you to the entrance area about 20-30 minutes before the door opens. There are (a very small number of) toilets that you can use, and you can stand up and stretch etc but that’s pretty much it. The beauty of queuing in Japan is that everyone respects the queue, so you can leave your stuff in your space and go stretch your legs briefly and will still be able to return without hassle - just make sure you remember where you were sat, as there are no landmarks to navigate by and it’s very easy to lose your bearings in a sea of visitors! Also, Akaboo warn that the queue can be moved at any moment if necessary, in which case you could lose your place. Try not to leave if you can.

This is a great time (provided you arrived early enough and everyone is settled) to go through your brochure maps and circle the tables you want to visit. Since this is quite a picture-heavy post I’m going to dedicate part #4 to it - so for more on looking up circles, please check it out!

When times comes to move, all instructions will be in Japanese so just follow the lead of the people around you. The queue remains remarkably well structured as they lead you to the doorway, so don’t try to push ahead or change lanes - stay in your original group of 4 wide and follow the person in front, and you will be fine. As I already mentioned, queues in Japan work very well so you don’t need to defend your spot from people pushing in (unlike London) - just keep up with the person in front.

Just before the doors open there was an announcement, after which everyone applauded. A few minutes later the door opened and the queue started filing in. At this point there had to be between a around 150-250 people in front of me in the queue, and we still got in in a few minutes - everyone moves quickly but in a controller manner, so there is zero reason to panic or push. Go with the flow til you get through the door - then it’s all hands on deck!

Next up - your brochure, and event etiquette.

[klmbh]

KLMBH #271 @ Batu Arang – 30 July 2017 - Long Ride Scribe Report

Venue: Batu Arang

Hares: Mark Boogaers, Karen, Patrick Lew, Vincent Chin, Ng Chee Hong, Farouk Salleh, Aaron Camoens, Poksy, Sham, Kathy, Phonn

Vital Stats for the Day:

Distance: 26.9km (with checking)

Climbing: 588m (depending on which Garmin device you use)

Duration: 1 hour 43 min

Track file here: download

The quest is on for either the longest or shortest ride of the year! Who will win the prize?! And I’m not talking about distance either! One bash we try to kill people with lots of hike-a-bike, another is fast and flowy, another has hills to disable even the fittest amongst us and … I’m absolutely loving the variety that each team of Hares brings to the table.

Our Hares were wise in keeping the ride right about 25km, they forewarned us that there were only three checks, started 45 minutes early to avoid the potential heat, and they wanted to get us back before the midday sun was upon us. Mission accomplished!

Our new canopy compliments of FunSportz/ Specialized, our proud sponsor of the KLMBH annual dinner coming soon ... and our shirts!

Three “incidences” occurred through the ride, which have to be given notice. These will be interspersed throughout the scribe report!

Incident #1. Just before the start of the ride the sky started looking ominous. The wind kicked up, the clouds moved in and thunder rumbled in the distance. As a light (and I mean LIGHT) sprinkle started, our illustrious President (Cock Lopper) was rumored to have revealed his feminine side and had decided NOT to ride. The reason? Rain could potentially flood his Di2 electronic shifters and lightning could potentially strike him being the lightning rod that he is! Really?! Really!

Off we go and the light sprinkle only turned into a couple of drops before the clouds started moving off, thereby avoiding a torrential downpour that could flood any Di2 mechanisms or ruin the suave looks of Agent Maxwell Smart (aka Cock Lopper)! As could be expected throughout the ride, the trail was fast which was perfect for my Tallboy LTC with a triple chain ring set up! Yup … I used all the rings!

Chew, Mike and Julian showing how to cross a raging torrent on the only river crossing of the day!

Soon after passing two hares making sure we turned left, we came out to an open area that looked like a new highway under construction. This was 4.4km into the ride and Check #1 was here. Checked forward (not far enough!), back, and off to the north having seen dusty laterite soiled tire tracks. Sadly, I was right on the first attempt and should have explored more in that direction. 

Vision 2020

Incident #2 occurred as I overtook Peter Wong! Yes, you get mentioned for this one! As I came upon him I said “passing on your left” which is the customary thing you tell tortoises whom are being overtaken by hares! ;-). He pulled to the left to which I yelped (or cursed) … probably both! He then moved right and apologized, stating “oh sorry, I’m not used to people overtaking me since I normally lead in the PCC!” Really?! If we had On-Downs or a Bouhow award, you would be neck in neck with Cock Lopper for the award!

Beauty on the trails

Had some fabulous twists, turns, climbs (nothing too long) and we soon entered into Palm where Check #2 was hiding behind a tree 10.3-km into the ride. At this point I needed to stop to fix my dropper post a bit, and it gave me a chance to see others going off to find the trail (good excuse, eh?!). The ride was eventually called forward and … in a really pleasant surprise everyone waited until paper closed. Not one person f***ed off into the sunset. Caught up to Lee, Andreas and Peter who were all waiting patiently by the continuing paper, while Mike Phoon and yours truly closed the trail. On On!

Oh … at this check I saw none other than Cock Lopper who had manage to rearrange his balls and joined us for the ride! However, estrogen was still dripping off his bike frame!

Check #3 was 13-km into our ride and this was quite easy. Rule-of-thumb … check up high first since it’s easier to descend to catch up to fellow FROPS if you are wrong. Rule number two; ask locals if there is a trail in the direction you are going! In this case, the latter helped because he said that “yes there was”. As I climbed up, I was rewarded by mountain bike tire tracks and eventually found paper! Turned around, went back to where people could hear me, and shouted on on! Paper closed brilliantly by my fellow FROPS and on we went.

Herein the trail had a few potentially disastrous spots. A hidden log on the right almost ripped off my rear derailleur, at another section I bombed down, dodged a rock and almost went into a hole on the left, and then almost went flying off my bike as I tried to clear a gully! And yes, in case anyone asks, the ENTIRE ride was rideable, including the beautiful lung buster of a climb. Only one place did we have to dismount which was the extremely deep gully we had to cross.

One observation, before and after the big climb there were HUGE piles of shredded paper! What happened?! Did the Hares realize they had too much paper and decided to leave it behind?! (Editor’s note: confirmed! At least they took the plastic bags with them, and eventually the paper will disintegrate)!

After the orchard we came across a hut with some hares and a farmer who asked if we wanted something to drink! Not! Being only a little more than 1 hour 20 minutes in to the ride, and haven’t even used up 1L of water, there was no need … and out rolled the middle finger! Sorry guys! It was automatic!

The ride through the rubber estate was SPECTACULAR. Love this area and have been there a number of times over the past 20 years, including before it was even logged to plant the latest batch of rubber trees. It was very well tended, the trail broad (rubber estate road) and we soon exited onto the Rawang/Batu Arang road. True to their word, the Hares had signs posted on which way to go (right turn onto the road), straight after the BHP station, and then right turn after the stream into the car park. Amazing to see how many people went INTO Batu Arang proper, missing the signposts!

As we lounged around watching people come in from all directions, we heard about Incident #3. One injury sustained on our ride! Mike Phoon quickly texted Jame Lee, our Bash Bones, to let him know that he was needed. e.g. to go get our medical kit, stretcher and make arrangements to get said injured person to the hospital. Mike soon found out that the injured was none other than our Bash Bones! WTF!

James getting help from fellow rides.

Thanks to the people who helped him out on the trail, got him to Sungai Buloh Hospital, brought back his bike and car keys to the bash site, and to the group who dropped off his car at the hospital!

Verdict on James’ injuries? Broken collarbone, fractured ribs and a bruised ego! As we always say, these things happen in the most mundane places when you are least expecting it! See you back on the trails in three months James!

Ouch! James’ being shown what a broken collarbone looks like!

Well done again, Hares!

On-On

TDF

[soulmatesjjp]

70 Questions

Thank you @pinkhoodiemark for tagging me in this. I usually get so lazy to do challenges and this one was soooooo long but it’s kinda nice to reflect on some of these ☺️ also I’m pretty sure Emili has tagged me in at least one other challenge before and I wanna fulfill at least one thing she tags me in ✨

this is pretty long so if you really wanna get to know me you can read more under the cut

1. do you have a good relationship with your parents? it’s 50/50 we have our good moments and our very bad moments but sadly, even tho I’m an adult now, things haven’t changed.

2. who did you last say “i love you” to? my pets are pretty much the only ones I’m comfortable saying ‘i love you’ to. I say it to my cat Cloud the most.

3. do you regret anything?

Yes, lots of personal things. Lately I regret my major and not putting more effort in college.

4. are you insecure?

Like everyone I have insecurities but I try not to dwell on them or let them affect me cus I know that they’re insignificant and not worth it. Doesn’t mean I don’t think of them from time to time.

5. what’s your relationship status?

Very single, mostly because I’m not comfortable opening up to people and I’m still kinda struggling with my ‘identity’

6. how do you want to die? the most painless way possible? i don’t...really think about how i wanna die tbh

7. what did you last eat? some store bought chocolate cake I’ve been eating almost everyday 😬 I really need to stop, it’s not healthy

8. played any sports? no, never. i am very very unathletic. idk how i ever managed to run those 12 min miles in high school

9. do you bite your nails? not now but i did a lot as a little kid

10. when was your last physical fight? i’m not much of a fighter but most likely it was a fight with my sister or maybe my mom (don’t worry it wasn’t too rough) years ago

11. do you like someone?

define ‘like’

12. have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

i don’t think so, i think maybe 36 hours would be my limit

13. do you hate anyone at the moment? at the moment no, though I usually don’t feel hate towards people

14. do you miss someone?

i miss the company of someones

15. have any pets?

i have two cats, Maxx (an old lady) and Cloud (my soon to be 3 year old bby) and my sister has a yorkie Oakley (a terrorizer who won’t leave me alone) but since she’s hardly ever home and I’m always taking care of him he’s practically mine

16. how exactly are you feeling at the moment? i feel like I probably sound like a robot throughout all this, sorry I can’t express emotion unless it’s in all caps

17. ever made out in the bathroom? nope 

18. are you scared of spiders? regular daddy long legs are fine but anything bigger than that get it away from me

19. would you go back in time if you were given the chance? I want to say yes because there are things I really really regret that especially affect other ppl but I feel like what’s in the past is in the past and I probably shouldn’t mess with it

20. where was the last place you snogged someone? no comment

21. what are your plans for this weekend? no plans!! my life is so boring since a bunch of my friends joined the military and moved away and some of my college friends have moved on with their life and I hardly see them anymore 😭 (i still have friends they’re just as boring as me)

22. do you want to have kids? how many? not really, i kinda fear having a tiny human growing inside me and giving birth to it. i think if i ever were to have children I’d rather adopt but even that sounds like a big commitment I might never be ready for

23. do you have piercings? how many? my ears have been pierced since I was a baby and I haven’t worn earrings in over 10 years but the holes never filled in

24. what is/are/were your best subject(s)? I was always good at english cus I was good at reading and bullshitting essays

25. do you miss anyone from your past? man, ok there was this one guy/friend who I always clicked with and we were kinda on and off for years but never dated and I haven’t seen him in a few years and I’ve kinda moved on but I still think about him cus we live in the same town and he has a really common face so so many guys I see look like him

26. what are you craving right now? guidance? an epiphany? motivation?

27. have you ever broken someone’s heart? maybe? I don’t know I would really say I broke their heart maybe not that severe...it wasn’t my fault ok I never lead anyone on

28. have you ever been cheated on? Nope.

29. have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? nope.

30. what’s irritating you right now? the fact that I finally found an installation of photoshop that works but I can’t download it because apple sucks and won’t let me download apps unless it’s from the apple store/one of their developers!!!! 😤😤😤 I refuse to pay a monthly fee for photoshop that’s ridiculous I’m not made of money.

31. does somebody love you? 2 of my pets love me for sure

32. what is your favourite color? Blue

33. do you have trust issues? Probably I don’t fully trust people easily but I’m still friendly with them

34. who/what was your last dream about? I honestly don’t remember I wish I did

35. who was the last person you cried in front of? oh man I cried at work on Valentine’s Day cus we were unexpectedly crazy busy (you can’t even understand how busy) and it was just really stressful for me cus it was only me and another girl handling customer service and she got to leave early (she was a champ idk how she kept a smile on her face even when she left) and there was this especially rude lady I was on the phone with who just wouldn’t stop talking and pretty much blaming me so when the call ended I ducked down behind the counter and cried a little from all the stress (that lady was just the final straw) and I’m sure most if not all my co-workers saw

36. do you give out second chances too easily? I think so cus I don’t really hold grudges I’m too soft that way, but no one’s ever fucked up so bad they really needed a second chance with me

37. is it easier to forgive or forget? for me it’s easier to forgive cus like I said I can’t hold grudges for longer than a day.

38. is this year the best year of your life? definitely not I need to figure lots of things out and do some stuff to get my life on track

39. how old were you when you had your first kiss? i’m pretty sure I kissed dumb boys when I was a little kid but after that I think I was 18

40. have you ever walked outside completely naked?

hell no

51. favourite food?

i love all kinds of food: tacos, tortas, french fries, birria, fishcake, bulgogi, bulgogi fries, actual good ramen. I can’t name just one fave

52. do you believe everything happens for a reason? I used to think that saying was so stupid but lately the way I’ve seen some things happen I’m starting to believe a little in fate

53. what is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? watched Brooklyn nine nine

54. is cheating ever okay? NO NEVER, unless you’re cheating on some dumb high school quiz I mean it’s not really ok but I won’t judge you

55. are you mean? I think I can definitely be both nice and an asshole to the same people and I’m sorry...

56. how many people have you fist fought? my siblings when I was a kid so 2

57. do you believe in true love? i believe most of us might never get to experience it but there are a lucky few who get to feel it

58. favourite weather? california autumn/winter cus it’s cold but not really freezing

59. do you like the snow? no it’s cold and wet, no thanks

60. do you wanna get married? eh not really

61. is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? asdfgh I don’t think I’d like any nickname like that

62. what makes you happy? good food, good company, cuddling with my pets, casually hanging out with my friends, and both got7 and monsta x especially their variety shows

63. would you change your name?

never, I like my name  

64. would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

I can’t even remember the last person I kissed so idk

65. your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Try to politely reject them and pretend it never happened so we can continue being friends. Maybe keep my distance from him to give him time to get over it but make sure he knows we’re still friends. And maybe not hang out with him one on one for a while.

66. do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? yeah, most of my friends are guys and I can be myself around them but I don’t tell them everything about me

67. who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? my brother

68. who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? I don’t remember but it must have been during one of the occasions I was drunk and in college and opened up to one of my friends and we probably got really personal.

69. do you believe in soulmates? JJP ARE SOULMATES!!! they don’t have to ever get together but you can’t learn about their history and tell me they’re not soulmates (at least platonically) but honestly I strongly believe a strong force like fate brought all of got7 from 4 different countries together. So many trainees get switched around from company to company and either never debut or it takes them 7+ years but with GOT7 they debuted under their first company and their average training period lasted around 3 years. BamBam almost didn’t debut with them because JYP thought he was too young until YG’s show did an episode at JYPE. Youngjae would have never debuted if he didn’t practice and practice and continue auditioning for JYP. I could go on and on but in the end I truly believe jjp are soulmates and got7 are soulmates.

70. is there anyone you would die for? um idk maybe my family and pets but don’t hold me to that

I feel like a lot of my mutuals aren’t really on tumblr any more :// so I’ll tag a few who are still active @katbeom @yubgam @husbandsjjp (I haven’t seen you around in a while either!!)

[mynameisnotkarl-blog1]

1/2

I see people are coming to me about assumptions lately

Things im hearing seeing would make you think these dudes hate me

its 50/50 so i guess they can split that evenly

Going outside is feeling more like a chore now

thoughts im having would make you think i gone senile

i been so self aware that its hard to be me now

so selfish i don’t even pretend to be me now

THIS SHIT CORNY 🌽🤣😂🤣😈

but this what the pression sounds like on a good day

and i know this shit can get worse like anyday

i know im selfish i didn’t even show up

Im feeling whoozy i think im bout to throw up

running from my problems like dont ask me

i don’t believe that l#%$ is real if you ask me

feelings going in remission

i missed it with it precision

i just couldn’t risk it

(Ive been in that void)(pitched down)

Ive been out that void

and i still cant tell difference

like who making these decisions

I got some good news

you can’t fit these shoes

i got some bad news

i can’t get over ...

it’s been a few years

ok maybe a couple fews

i mean couples views

i wish weren’t different

and the thought of it yeah it really hits

i hit the doc for a script

you don’t know it but you are god-sent

maybe that was a little extra

why do i be so extra

and then i thought about it but i really didn’t think about it lol

Aint nobody going to judge me harder than i do me

last years of high school got me feeling like a zombie

last years of colle got me feeling like i want to harm me

yeah i know i don’t fit in

but this trigger just clicking

“well did you check the safety”

oh yeah that’s my conscious

i say we get along

he barely do me wrong

when i step like iverson

broad day victim going missing the public

don’t go outside cause a niggas mind is sick

oh you getting closer yeah i think i got to dip

oh im getting so sober yeah think it’s time to sip

and when the reason is no reason at all

When i see heaven i just want to ...

But its bugged when you on the other side

or in between

thinking back on it yeah i wasted my teens

opana had my lov i should of got therapy

i had these tears all froze in my face

i had these feelings all put away

this shit lame and wack

you need to grow up👿👺

Maybe you can turn this shit all around

you didn’t mind being the clown

Thinking their laughter is more important than the pain that you’re feeling now

Goal #1 look in the mirror more

#2 try more

yeah wish it was that simple

but simple how im feeling lately

looking in the mirror thinking why that guy hates me

hate i know it can be a strong word

so excuse me for my ignorance

I seem to lack for a better word or world

and it all seems the same

like how every song sounds sad and it’s starting to become lame

imagine putting your all into a track just for anthony to call your shit lame🤣😂🤣 i guess you got to start somewhere

i got so bored i was going to put %£$ name in the google search bar and face my worst nightmares and see if i can handle it or not

ive made myself an object of a pointless concept

no strong purpose

i think it’s funny how their is always someone who will take the news of your death with laughter and it will be a genuine laugh

told my $&@#%£* marriage is a cool concept n all but really dude

btw im the last person you should be taking advice from

compliment

read n tak a hint

ask &@$ if &@$ wants to get use to just touching each other

is this a relationship

can it be this simple

No

sometimes i realize how sad i am

and how pathetic i look and sound

do people get mad at you when you’re this pathetic

am i pushing it if i say im average

i wonder if my ancestors went through something like this

i feel like the future can be bright but no time is better than it is now

i wonder if $@&#%€ thinks about me

i wonder if i made anyone cry

i used to think about 9/11 daily

but then $&@ came along then

it was $&@ every other second

the adderall help but the isolation did not

i think about how i thrived in my world

but in your world i could not

i once thought about how i could just be being dramatic

like how im concerned if “just be being dramatic” is grammatically correct or incorrect or if i should just know that either way it’s not the first time nor the last (even this is a edit)

first time I seen the &@“$& i was scared to death

the second time i seen the &@“$& i was at peace

ive🔒 a note with all my thoughts and now i dont know my thoughts

you ever get so conscious of your walking you feel like every step you can trip

i want to make a song named “I stay strapped in Prague”

i found my 👇

thoughts

1. they was close now they talk behind my back

2. are they friends or are they just using me

3. most of the whispers are about me

4. why do i want people to like me

5. i see dark objects that are not there

6. the majority of people i meet are against me

7. i know that i exaggerate things but does it stray away from the truth

8. i thought they was close but i got to cut ties now

9. i can absorb the outside world but it is difficult to interact

10. they can see right through me

11. they try to hurt me for a reaction

12. i cry most of the time just because it is good for me

13. they request things of me i don't want to do

14. isolated is when i feel most comfortable

15. i distance myself to protect me and sometimes others

16. i think im selfish even when im not trying to be

17. people think i don't like them but i don't have the energy for them

18. sometimes i avoid looking in the mirror

19. eye contact is becoming more and more difficult

20. most of my expressions are manufactured

21. don't care for the future don't got any plans

22. i love my family i love my family

23. i think about disappearing never coming back

24. ideal death will be alone deep in the forest

25. im scared

26. i damaged myself far past the chance of repair

27. distance distance distance

28. dissociation is easy

29. i don't know my family

30. why am i holding on to this anger

31. i might be sick

32. i don't know if i care

33. i think im pathetic for doing drugs

34. its hard to remember my childhood

35. i wonder if eight or ten year old me will like me now

36. accomplishments feel anything but

37. i notice things

38. im done with a lot people even ones i like

39. my thoughts paralyzes me

40. trust is difficult don't trust

41. don't know what my thoughts on what &&&& is yet

42. i don't want to do this how do i get out

43. i need help

44. i don't want help

45. enemies will laugh and joke in your face

46. if i try to enlist in the military they will deny me

47. i cant tell nobody about the problems i got nobody

48. i don't know where im at right now i just hope he is alright

49. j coles kod got me thinking he the goat and i only listen to the intro

50. ?i deleted this one it was too dark?🙄😢🙇🏾🤦🏾‍♂️

51. the album-art cover of the kod is amazing. subliminal

52. kill edward is jcole

53. if this is it im not

54. itiiinimpressed

55. im going to stop thinking about her

56. regret is a persons worst enemy

57. pretty sure i got an anxiety disorder

58. pretty sure i got ptsd

59. i use to skip meals because of my anxiety

60. i don't need nobody to tell me i need help but i know

61. im sick

62. im sick

63. how did i get sick

64. im a little dramatic

65. tpye mistake but i didn't want to backspace

66. thought this line should be a dark one but nah 6ix hundred more to go (ಥ﹏ಥ) that was an accident too but it still works i guess

67. fiona and v that will be a good 3hree

68. believe im capable of love but choose not to

69. i don't want to get high anymore but i am

70. i find myself in that empty place quite often

71. i dismissed all her advances im sorry

72. this is going to be... a long one

73. im not good with eye contact for a lot of reasons but i seen something in someone's eyes thinking how is s•• alone? is s•• alone? and things were never the same it changed everything it happened too fast but feelings weren't mutual and now i feel numb most of the time

74. i suck at rapping and producing but it feels like i can change that so easily but im lazy and scared mostly scared lol

75. i hate that shit "lol" but i still do it smh devon no lol

76. sorry its just most of the time ur not

77. im too busy trying to love myself

78. oh im sorry if it looks like im trying too hard but i am

79. i would do anything to push people alway but very little to keep them

80. everyone is against me i got few if not any

81. i need to get swollen i already told some people i was planning on too

82. i only laugh with my friends i think

83. hope this car ain't no scam hope is empty but it feels good

84. i just want it to feel good

85. i think ye might have lost it

86. i have problems sleeping

87. i slipped in that dark place again and i don't want to be there

88. behind my back

89. thunder without lightning how frightening

90. it's either i care too much or for not

91. i really don't want to disagree

92. Cringe

93. how do u make demons out of angels

94. if i hit the lottery with millions i promise myself to show someone this list

95. who are you?

96. i don't want to think about it when i think about it

97. you don't want to know the places i go

98. had to correct that👆👍

99. just sitting here chilling with my shoes on unlaced

100. i think im sick... in the head

101. i think about the most darkest things

102. i don't think im going to sleep for a long time

103. now i know why people go to far with things

104. but when you do it right the outcome is amazing

105. i can understand someone else's choice better than i can explain min

[artoftrade-blog]

Weekly Tradelog 05/01-05/05/2017

========Monday 05/01========

[Daily Overview]

The market reversed from overnight open, and it’s in the range move from the daily chart and the consolidation is narrow. The upside breakout is highly expected, probably it will happen this week.

[Trades]

8:31 AM CDT: the parabolic rally starting from overnight is strong, it’s setting up a trend resumption after a pullback, the pullback could be deep than 50% retracement. So put order at 2381.75, SL/PT=6t/8t; I am going to be on the way during the coming hour and a half.

10:30 AM CDT: the buy order filled at 9:10 AM CDT, and the target was filled at 9:34 AM CDT, which both happened when I was on road.

There was a mistake when I put the order, the PT should be 2xSL=2x6t=12t instead of 8t. The reason is my first thinking for the SL was 4t, but looking at the chart I think 6t would be more reasonable than 4t. But I forgot to change the PT after changing SL. Actually the pullback went down to 2380.75 and formed a double bottom at 2380.75, my entry price was 2381.75, stop loss at 4 ticks would kill this trade.

Profits target reached with $200 on the book, end of today’s trades.

[Summary]

[Highlights]

========Tuesday 05/02========

[Daily Overview]

Today will be a confusing day, it’s not clear the market will go up or down. Normally speaking, the bull day of yesterday did not go too far, today would have a test downside support before it will rally again to upside resistance at 2400 level. The downside move still would be shallow and today could end up with a bear bar but not so big one.

[Trades]

9:03 AM CDT: it broke down to 2382, buy at 2382, SL/PT=3t/6t;

the pullback goes too far, cancel the long order.

Put short order at 2383.75, SL/PT=3t/6t;

Keep in mind: don’t entry at the middle of the range, where the risk/rewards is not good. The trade off is that will miss some good trades, but it will eliminate a lot of bad trades.

9:11 AM CDT: wick formed, 2383.75 would be a resistance, entry at 2383.5, SL/PT=3t/6t;

9:14 AM CDT: okay, take profits at 2382.75, make a small winner for the first trade of the day, plenty of opportunities out there, be patience and keep the edge. – don’t entry at middle!

9:18 AM CDT: it’s stating to make higher low, the pullback from early sell off is strong now, it could be a support at 2382. Put long order at 2382, SL/PT=3t/6t;

if the rally breaks out 2384.5 then it could have a target on 2386,2388 level. 2384 will be the support, and it’s a long entry there.

Cancelled long at 2382.

put short order at 2384, SL/PT=3t/6t;

filled short 2384 and stopped out at 2384.75;

10:31 AM CDT: the market is consolidating, it will not go far for each move, work on false breakout to take trade.

Put long order at 2379.75, SL/PT=4t/12t;

2:16 PM CDT: the market is still trading in a tight range, the previous swing just finished at the triple bottom of 2382.5. It’s trending up now, put long order at 2383, SL/PT=4t/12t;

2:35 PM CDT: the spike paused, ready for a pullback, move the entry long order down to 2382.75, SL/PT=3t/12t;

2:41 PM CDT: breakout the range up to 2384.5, move the long entry to 2384.5 and SL/PT=4t/8t, there is not much time left, within 20 mins the position needs to be closed.

too weak bull, try to close at 2385;

still no sigh of move up, try to close at 2384.75;

OK, breakout eventually happened, 2384.75 filled, with one tick profit.

the market rallied up very well after I quit, the reason is that I lack of confidence of the trades.

End of today, break even day. Narrow range, wait for FOMC tomorrow.

[Summary]

[Highlights]

========Wednesday 05/03========

[Daily Overview]

FOMC day, nothing to say, wait for the announcement released. Before that, the market is consolidating, no direction. After the announcement, wait for at least 30 mins, until the trend appears clearly, just follow the trend.

[Trades]

3:10 PM CDT: one trades only today, buy at 2380, SL/PT=2t/4t; the stop order got rejected because of the price dropped below the set price. It eventually filled at the target leading to $50 profits. It’s a winning trade but a bad trade.

Overall, I am not really interested in this kind of market. The days I chased for it has gone. I used to lose over $5000 in FOMC day. Right now, I am looking for the high frequently appeared, high volume traded patterns which could be more controllable and can be consistently traded. Finding a reliable pattern for the FOMC announcement moment is hard and not worth to do in a long run.

[Summary]

[Highlights]

========Thursday 05/04========

[Daily Overview]

The market rallied after the FOMC announcement and had a big gap up at overnight open. It proves the assumption that it will test the all time high at 2400 is still valid. Also, the past six days narrow range setup a very good shape for trend resumption. So it’s good to seek for buy opportunities.

[Trades]

Overnight trades 3 winners in a row with take small profits and tight stop loss;

8:36 AM CDT: after overnight rally, it’s topping at 2390.75, 6:12 AM CDT; now it’s pushing down to the open price, 2385 is a good support, waiting for break through it to buy. Put long order at 2383.25, SL/PT=5t/12t;

8:41 AM CDT: broke down 2385, move the entry price down to 2381.75, SL/PT=5t/12t;

8:44 AM CDT: two pushes down had been done, wait for the third push down, or double/triple bottom formed, around 2383;

8:51 AM CDT: entry at 2383.25, stopped at 2382.5; still need patience;

8:56 AM CDT: long at 2383, SL/PT=6t/12t, it’s good entry but bad price, should wait for pullback to get a better price around 2382, the stop loss price is not a good support;

10:20 AM CDT: consolidation after up and down swing, play small;

Entry at 2383.25, SL/PT=3t/6t; Exit at 2384.75;

Good profits so far, may need one or two more winners to reach today’s profits target. So still be patient and be ready at the extreme support/resistance;

10:52 AM CDT: reach resistance price 2386.75, failed to breakout several time, setup short entry at 2386.5, SL/PT=3t/8t;

11:04 AM CDT: short on 2383, SL/PT=4t/8t; stopped out at 2384, bad trades, should not short at the late trend down. fading is better strategy;

11:07 AM CDT: long at 2381, SL/PT=3t/8t; stopped at 2380.25;

11:09 AM CDT: long at 2380.5; SL/PT=3t/8t; stopped at 2379.75;

three losses in a row. stop trading today;

[Summary]

Summary: did not identify the trending action very well, keep reversing too early. When seeing the weak pullback, should exit the reversal position as soon as possible; and another reason is that did not realize the volatility post FOMC and the healthcare votes today.

Overall, I am not good at the trending setups and high volatility moves yet.

[Highlights]

05252017: 9:13 AM - 10:09 AM CDT (3K Vol)

========Friday 05/05========

[Daily Overview]

It seems like the bulls and the bears did not reach any agreement regarding current situation yet. The market is in a volatility status, the big up and down wave could continue and today would be some labor market data release, also some speakers presenting. But it sounds like the market is not very sensitive to those numbers right now. So not very clear what will be a major power push the market to a breakout out of the current range in daily chart.

11:16 PM CDT: the big spike down increase the chance that it will channel down to test the 2376 low again, or break through it.

[Trades]

8:09 AM CDT: the market reversed from the overnight bear open, and it’s approaching yesterday’s high of 2390.75; It’s high probably to break through the high and test all time high, the market is setting up a breakout;

Put long at 2389.25, SL/PT=3t/8t;

8:16 AM CDT: the 2390.75 was hit, it builds up a range and it may last for hours before the trend resumes or reverses;

Moved the entry long price to 2388, SL/PT=3t/8t;

8:23 AM CDT: still not sure of the bottom of the range, cancelled the long order, wait for the market open;

10:27 AM CDT: the market is too chopping, two trades hit stop loss. Stop trading and wait for the afternoon session;

[Summary]

[Highlights]