#because he cant not be weird he has to go above and beyond while explaining how a cherry smell tastes

[sqlmn]

by the power of modern day AU, I am delighted to announce that Fulj can have a girlfriend ! I haven't named her yet but have a few in mind so ... soon (TM). She is the one that she loved in canon before the whole memory wipe and as you can see, penchant for black, black hair, brown eyes, and prone to weird statements. Perfect balance to Deacon's weird questions.

HOWEVER ! I mentioned the problem of Deacon still having facial blindness to someone and how there is no glow from the deities for him to identify them. And her solution is the funniest thing ever so I have to do it. He identifies people by smell. So when he is in the same room as Ymber and Oh when they first cross paths, he doesn't really think about it. But later when he sees Ymber alone and gets the same kinda scent, same cologne or something, he knows that's not the taller guy therefore that's his scent ! Perfect!

So... unfortunately.... Deacon really can't beat the weirdness allegations in AUs...... he's stuck like that. Fulj has referred to him as a guard dog in canon and now he's a tracking dog. RIP to him.

(and because Deacon gets my facial blindness I am giving Fulj's girlfriend ANOTHER trait of mine I wouldn't wish on anyone because it's also really funny. She can't smell. She can taste ! She just can't smell. So she loves talking to Deacon because he explains smells as foods for her to get the vibe across. Which are REALLY weird conversations no one else wants to hear.)

[devildomdisaster]

I'm sending this assuming that requests are open. If not, feel free to ignore this, haha

Can I request the bros reacting to mc getting annoyed and worried during a thunderstorm, and when they ask why mc answers with something akin to "my dog is terrified of thunderstorms, so it's become instinct to find him and comfort him"?

I've been slow to answer requests lately. Sorry, this took so long.

Lucifer:

Your constant pacing is annoying him. Lucifer can’t figure out why you are so agitated, and your pacing is starting to distract him from the paperwork he has to have done by morning. “It’s just a thunderstorm, Mc please.”

You whip around to glare at him so quickly he is taken aback.

Nothing in your expression says fear, and to be honest, Lucifer is relieved you don’t seem to be afraid of the storm. He hadn’t handled the situation well and he wouldn’t ever want you to think he cares so little for you that he would brush aside your fears as if they meant nothing.

Now that he is thinking clearly again he changes tactics.

“Mc, my dear, what has got you so upset?”

“My dog hates thunder, and I always have to comfort him during a storm. He’s not here. But I can’t help but worry. And it’s just instinct now I guess.

Lucifer seriously considers bringing your dog to the Devildom.

But the trouble that would get him into, the paperwork, Diavolo, the chance that some sort of harm could come to your pet dissuades him from that idea.

“I’m sorry mc.” and he really does look distressed that he can’t help you.

Until he realizes that Cerberus isn’t the biggest fan of thunder either. Cerberus’s room is more protected from the noise of the storm but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like attention and comfort during a storm.

Lucifer takes your hand and silently leads you down to Cerberus.

You are understandably reluctant at first but Lucifer assures you that Cerberus is completely docile while he is around.

Soon you are snuggled up against the three-headed dog and Lucifer is finishing his work on the ground next to you.

Mammon:

Mammon bluntly asks you what has you so annoyed

“Oi human, what’s got ya all antsy?”

The way he says it makes you want to fight him just a little.

But he’s a demon and there’s no way a human could scare him with a little glare. Well normally your glare might scare him just a bit, but the look in your eyes now is tempered by the worry that is so clear on your face.

He drags you to his room and has you explain exactly why you are so worried.

Mammon asks you all about your dog.

He somehow distracts you by getting you to tell him all kinds of cute and funny stories about your dog.

You end up sitting with Mammon for hours, music playing in the background, almost completely forgetting about the storm.

He definitely wants to meet your dog now.

He’ll even go to Lucifer to get permission to visit your home in the human realm so you can both see your dog.

Levi:

You are distracting him from his gaming and it takes Levi a second to process that you might need his comfort.

“If you are going to be a distracting normie, could you at least not pace in front of the screen Mc?”

You apologetically move away from the screen towards the door.

“W-Wait! I didn’t mean you should leave! What’s wrong?”

You hesitate not sure if you want to tell him now, but then you spot Henry in his fishbowl.

“My dog hates thunder,” you say refusing to look at Levi and staring at the fishbowl instead “I usually have to go find him when a storm starts. But he’s not here, and I dunno… I think it’s just like instinct to comfort him but I cant so…”

Levi gets it.

He has so much love for his pets. Even the ones that grew into giant demon-eating monsters that don’t even recognize him.

He’d do almost anything for them.

You can’t go comfort your dog, but maybe Levi can comfort you?

He’ll try, even if he is blushy and nervous.

You’ll spend the storm exchanging stories about your pets and watching animes that are eerily similar to your situation. Like ‘My demon dog hates storms but I’m in the human realm and now the storms make me anxious because I can’t help but worry about him.’ and ‘My crush is worried about her pets and I almost messed everything up, but don’t worry I think I can help!’

Satan:

It’s no secret this demon is more of a cat lover.

But he still cares about your dog because he cares about you.

Blunt demon 2.0

Straight up asks you about your behavior as soon as you start acting weird. Although he is much more polite about it than Mammon.

“Mc, is there something you want to talk about? You seem distressed.”

“No!” you snap “Yes? Maybe? I don’t know Satan. This storm is driving me crazy! Every fiber of my being tells me I need to go find him. But he’s not here and I can’t help but worry and I know you mean well but there is nothing you can do to fix this.”

“Oh, well I don’t know if I would say there is nothing I can do. But who is he, kitten?” he asks gently, trying to understand

“My dog.”

You stare at him as he goes rummaging through the piles on one of his bookcases. After several minutes he turns triumphantly to you holding an ornamental metal hand mirror out to you.

It looks beyond old, and it’s surprisingly heavy and sturdy when he hands it to you.

“Just think of your dog and look in the mirror.”

“Like beauty and the beast?” you joke.

“Where do you think the ‘beast got the mirror in the first place?” Satan asks.

“I-What? You mean you-”

Satan’s eyes glint “That’s a story for another time, but yes I gave the ‘beast’ his magic mirror. But the fairy tales butchered the actual story,” He sighs.

You look in the mirror as instructed and see your dog with your family, tale wagging, dashing across a grassy field after a ball.

You smile “Thank you, Satan. This really helps.”

“Anytime Mc”

Asmo:

Asmo is telling you about his latest Devilgram post and how his followers “simply loved seeing the picture of you on the Ferris wheel with him,” when the first clap of thunder rolls through the air above the house of lamentation.

When you jump up at the sound Asmo thinks you’re afraid of the storm.

He carefully places the top to the nail polish he was using back on the bottle before focusing on you. “Darling, are you ok?”

You shake your head, pacing to the door then back to your vacated seat on Asmo’s bed.

“Mc darling can you tell me what’s wrong?” Asmo analyses your expression quickly, he’s looking for fear but doesn’t find any.

“It’s the storm,” you murmur “My dog can’t stand thunder and I’m used to going to find him when a storm starts. But I can’t really do that here so I’m stuck not knowing what to do with myself.”

“Oh Mc, that’s absolutely adorable!”

You glare half-heartedly at the demon.

“Don’t look at me like that!” Asmo pouts “I can’t help but react when you act so sweet.” he hums in thought for a moment.

“Is there someone taking care of him now?”

You nod “Yes, but I still worry sometimes.”

“I know darling. How about we go ask Lucifer if you can go for a visit tomorrow?”

You perk up at the thought and Asmo grins “Good, then we’ll do that first thing tomorrow morning. But for now, do you think we can distract you with a movie and some facemasks?”

Beel:

Beel doesn’t want to intrude, but he can’t help it when your mood starts affecting him.

He can’t enjoy the snacks he just bought when you seem so upset.

“Mc… will you tell me how I can help you?”

The sincerity of his question shocks you for a moment.

You blink up at him, feeling heat blooming in your cheeks.

“I’m sorry Beel, I didn’t mean to ruin your snacks”

“It’s ok Mc, you're more important.”

“It’s just that storms bother me. My dog hates them and when I can’t be there to comfort him I get… well like this.”

Beel nods and asks if you’d like to do something to take your mind off the storm.

“I don’t really know if I can just forget about the storm, you know?”

“That’s ok, how about we make some comfort foods then?”

Beel has you choose some music to play in hope of concealing the sound of thunder and you end up talking about your dog and cooking your favorite foods.

Beel is content helping out even if you aren't in the best of moods as long as he can help cheer you up just a bit.

Belphie:

Belphie is already annoyed that the thunder is keeping him from sleeping.

So your mood fits right in with his.

You can both be anxious/ annoyed little terrors together.

The rest of the brothers are giving you both plenty of space.

Somehow having someone in a similar mood as your own is helpful.

You can both be a little snappy without the other being offended or impatient.

You probably end up in a pile of pillows and blankets with Belphie. You're both a little restless but eventually, the comfort of the blankets and Belphie’s warmth calm you.

He’ll make sure you’re ok, with gently probing questions to find out what caused your mood.

He can’t exactly help your situation, after all, he doesn’t have the power to bring your dog to the Devildom and he doubts Lucifer would let him anyways.

But he can, and will let you talk if you want, and if not he’ll support you in silence.

He likes it best when you are happy but he knows there are problems he can’t solve.

He’ll ask if you’d like to dream about being home with your dog and if so he’ll influence your dreams.

[factual-fantasy]

I WANNA SEE ALL UR UNDERTALE ART AND IDEAS🥺🥺🥺I WOULD LOV TO READ AN EXPLANATION OF UR LAST TWO POSTS

...Aight, bet.

I’m going to have to be slightly vague for a few reasons. For one, because people seemed to like this idea, I have been expanding it more and working through it, this means everything is subject to change. Second is if I go too far into detail it’ll take too long.

So, the story.

This takes place in a Refinedtale like universe. i.e. Chara, Asriel and Gaster are alive and on the surface after a pacifist run. Now, In this story Frisk, Chara and Asriel are friends with Monster kid, abbreviated to MK. Now they somehow end up in this huge cave system, with tunnels and huge rooms. A HUGE plot hole that made me shy away from posting about this story is I have no explanation for how they got there. They just wake up there separated for no reason. They weren’t doing anything strange or magic related, no they were just sleeping in their beds I guess and woke up in this weird place. No Its not supposed to be back in the underground.

So, the kiddos wake up confused, find each other and decide to look around. They come into a big room and find Toriel standing in the middle. Her outlines are white and the rest of her body is black. Her face is also blotched out, just like Papyrus in the first post. They try to approach her, but she attacks them with everything she’s got. Like really, she is trying hard to kill these kids. The kids fight back and keep trying to talk to her. Asriel manages to slip through the battle and pounce on his mom. He’s sobbing and begging her to stop and that she’s scaring him. She instantly stops. Her lines turn black and her body turns green. She becomes really connected to Asriel and becomes his servant all of a sudden.

The idea is that if one of the kids touch one of the blotched monsters, the monsters lines will turn black and they’ll change to what ever color the kids is. Asriel = Green, Chara = Red, Frisk = Blue, and MK = orange.

Toriel loves Azzy now and carries him around. hence this picture,

The kids are a bit nervous because she literally just tried to kill them. Now after that battle they start to look for more people.. and fine Undyne. Undyne was really intense, but MK managed to slip behind everyone and ram his head into Undyne’s leg, knocking her over and changing her silhouette to orange.

They now assume that a lot of other monsters are around here, and all you have to do to get them out of that state is to touch them. And depending on who touches them, their color will change and they will follow that specific kid around.

So they continue searching and find their next opponent, Undyne lends them each a small spear to protect themselves.. and.. its turns out Sans is next.. this one was really upsetting. I have touched a little on Chara’s inner demons in Refinedtale with this post. In this fight with Sans, the battle is really tense and hard, its a sense of bitter sweet nostalgia for Chara. Sans was always the most interesting battle in the timelines wasn’t he? Sans is seemingly the most harmless monster there is! So small, so frail.. But so powerful too. When Chara remembers the battles with him she feels shame, but also excitement! Sans’s battles were the best ones. Its because it was truly personal. Sans knew she did something. This powerful hatred came deep from within his soul. It was terrifying, and wildly exciting!! Being in this place again, where she could try and kill the comedian once more.. was just.. so thrilling! She couldn’t stop herself, she couldn’t hold back! She lost herself in the madness..

..and went way, too far.

Chara stood there for a moment, panting and smiling from ear to ear.. and then it hit her. The excitement was gone.. and in its place was just dread. Shortly after realizing what she just did, she burst into tears seeing Sans’s head scattered all over the floor. Everyone is shocked, a RESET isn’t an option here, Sans has gotta be dead. Chara crumples to the floor and cries. But next thing you know, Sans’s face shards gravitate towards his body on the floor. His face reconstructs itself, he changes to a light red color and Stands up. In the picture, her knee bumps Sans hand, thus counting as being touched. He walks over to Chara and helps her stand up. He’s now protecting her and loving her like Tori is to Azzy. After a long while of recovering and apologizing, they move on to look for more people. This is when they find Papyrus.

The fight with Papyrus was beyond anything they ever expected. It was like they were fighting Sans again.. but Papyrus was so much stronger than Sans, he was so much FASTER than Sans, it was insane! He could focus on every single one of them all at once! There was a post (that I can’t find) explaining how its very likely that Papyrus is stupid strong- he just holds back on you, anyway.. So this fight goes horribly, everyone is getting hurt. Chara tells Sans to do something, try to get Papyrus to stop, make it so one of them can touch him. So Sans teleports above and behind Papyrus’s head. In the picture above, that’s Sans in the middle of teleporting. He wraps his arms around Papyrus’s neck in an attempt to stop him. Making him lose his grip on Asriel.

Papyrus reaches his arm back, snatches Sans out from behind him, holds him up by his shirt and is about to kill him.. when..

Asriel begs “Papyrus stop!! Stop fighting us!!” Papyrus turns green.. the blasters and bones disappear.. then he gently sets Sans down. Not a word is spoken between the two brothers. But you could cut the fear and tension between them with a knife.

They all do their best to recover from this fight and move on. They keep searching and then find Alphys.

This one was hard because no one could get near her. She would sit completely still and the electricity would just come to them. The idea is everyone distracts her while Frisk sneaks behind her and manages to touch her. She turns blue and they move onto the next monster, luckily not much heart ache here.

Then they get to Mettaton, there’s a slightly angsty yet cool part where Mettaton is attacking Frisk and Alphys jumps in to protect her. Its like the Scientist vs its beloved creation you know? Anyway this is where things start to get fuzzy. I haven’t decided who gets Mettaton or how they get him. But lets just say its MK?

Now, I haven’t been able decide if Grillby will be one of the Blotched monsters. You might say that Grillby isn’t a significant character to the Undertale timeline at all, and you would be right. However in Refinedtale he is. Grillby plays a huge part in Sans’s life and to the overall movement in the timeline. And since this is Refinedtale based I figured it would make sense if he was in this.. but for some reason it just feels a bit off.. anyways, if Grillby was to be in this, he would be right after the Mettaton battle. I feel like Asriel would be the one to get him because he has a bit of a special advantage when it comes to fire type magic.

Next would be Gaster. Just like Papyrus, he was stronger than expected. The kids all kind’a saw him as a weak, broken old man that was way past his prime. Well they were completely wrong and apparently they forgot where Sans and Papyrus’s powers came from to begin with. So the battle is rough, the kids are tired and just manage to snag him. I can see Chara being fed up and charging through his attacks in a fit of rage and throwing him to the floor. He turns red and things are okay for a while.. They rest and try to collect themselves.

..they all know who’s next..

The four kids get carried through the cave system to conserve energy while they look for Asgore. They find him and decide that the kids trying to fight him is a bad idea. They don’t know if they can die here and they’re exhausted. Sans has demonstrated that the blotched monsters cant seem to die so.. they form a plan.

Sans, Papyrus, Gaster, Undyne, and Mettaton will all attack and just try to get him pinned on the floor, then one of the kids will run over and boop him on the nose. Simple! In the meantime Toriel (maybe Grillby) and Alphys will stand back  to protect the kids. Cool right?..

(warning, Gore reading up ahead)

..Well, there’s a reason why Asgore is the king of monsters you know. It goes horribly. Gaster is pinned to the floor by Asgore’s foot and has his rib cage smashed in. Papyrus is impaled in the chest by his trident and is pinned to the floor, destroying his rib cage as well. Sans is pulling hard on Asgores soul with blue magic, trying desperately to get him on the floor and off his family. He’s blasting him in the shoulder with Blasters and impaling him with large bone spears. Undyne has a spear dug into his other shoulder and is bashing him in the head and yanking on his horns. Mettaton is using guns and shooting him from every exposed angle, he’s using his arms to pull on his knees in an attempt to get them to buckle beneath him..

...but he just wont go down.. no matter how hard they try, its not working..

Asgore throws Undyne off of him and smashes her head against the floor, causing it to crumple and shatter. Sans is mercilessly yanked by the arm and thrown hard against the cave walls, causing him to break in every area and the kids to shriek and cry. He kicks Gaster aside and shakes Papyrus off of his trident. He then uses the trident to slash at Mettatons head so hard his head comes flying off.

(Gore reading over)

The terror sets in as Asgore makes his way over to the crying kids. Toriel is literally on fire, Alphys is sparking, (maybe Grillby’s flames are roaring) they’re both(/all) ready to fight. The 5 blotched monsters on the ground slowly regenerate, but they’re not doing it fast enough.

As he steps closer and the crying gets louder, Asriel looks desperately for a way out. He then notices Chara is gone. And Sans has vanished from his place on the floor. Before Asgore can make his move, Chara and Sans drop down from above him and land on his shoulders, Sans’s face hadn’t even reconstructed yet, he didn’t grab on to Asgore and simply slid down on his cloak and collapsed on the floor. Chara gripped tightly to Asgore’s neck and shrieked, “STOP!!”

..He turned red, put down his trident and stopped.

As to what comes after and why this all happened? I don’t know. I imagined the four kids wake up in their beds the next morning and remember all of this, but the blotched monsters don’t. I also thought this could’ve taken place during a picnic. The kids disappear for about 10-20 minutes and show back up running from the forest crying and wounded. I also thought that everyone wakes up on the forest floor and only the kids remember, and everyone else is just confused on how they got there.

Haven’t decided on a beginning or an ending. But that’s pretty much the story in as much detail as I’ve built so far. :} I hope you enjoyed reading this, it came out longer than I intended, but that’s alright I think. ,,^ ^,,

[pinktatertots99]

🔥 Feelings on the canon ships of Homestuck?

Send Me a 🔥+ a Topic, and I’ll Tell You My Honest Opinion About It

god am i gonna need to go with the sequals too? just og or all ships that’re considered canon by the end? whatever i’ll just go in order in what might be the ‘canon’ ships from all three of these categories. this is gonna be fucking long so anything and everything is under the cut. also i’m SO not gonna add hiveswap that can be its own separate ask. so:

roxygen: it’s a cute ship...but the sequal vers is garbage considering how inconsiderate roxy is to john’s feelings and his house burning down like damn rox this is the guy who sat with ya as ya mourned doom rose’s death give the guy some fuckin time himself.

rosemary: also cute ship...sequal versions are fuckin godawful tho. their barely a thing in meat from wha i can gather and then there’s candy...oh CANDY kanaya deserves better fuck this sense of her sayin she’s over it idc if it was off screen, even then half the cast ate stupid pills during that time so WHY must i be surprised that this is wha happens?

dave/kat: i dun like it. in either universe. meat is just perfect gay bois who have occasional deep talks and literally do nothing else while candy they split up thanks to jade which, geez ya guys must’ve been shit to tell her to fuck off like come on. og hs wise i barely consider them canon if we only get pictures and them just being on equal footing on quadrant talk. not to mention dave implied to be crushing on jade and JOHN not karkat, idk where this couple even came from other then love triangle situation with terezi but like, that’s barely much of a reason to become canon. i’d go with em bein pale/moirails more.

jadedave: i’m guessing candy and meat i thought meat implied they were dating but may aswell. so....it sucks but thats because candy and meat suck, meat dave’s basically cheating on her i didnt hear any implication they broke up and she’s like...chill??? and then there’s candy where she literally forced him and kar to break up and dated after dirk apparently died, i do not like the implications of this whole thing. course candy dave is dead and a robot now so...anyways canon wise dave had a crush on her and if jade does like him i’d hope it’s not cause of davesprite cause despite both being dave’s they were different. it’s cute otherwise.

davepetajade: it’s...cute? i guess? idk i kinda found davepeta a bit...idk overwhelmingly overrated? like i know where their popularity came from but readin the series now after all that hype i dont really see it anyways tho it’s basically davespritejade with nepeta in the mix. and idk nothin implied much of nepeta liking jade, or talkin to her much. and davepetasprite is a mesh of both so idk. it’s a ship with cute fanon works of em hanging with outfits but that’s bout it.

janejake: i hate it. legit. this is disgusting and completely throws out jane’s character. like even in the fixed timeline the talk she had with dirk probably still happened on the god bed’s and how she acknowledged wha she thought was wrong on wantin jake’s kids and so on trickster still happened and how she also realized she might’ve overhyped jake. but lets throw it ALL out the window to force jake in an unhappy marriage in both universes and possibly force him to stay in candy due to having tavvy if i’m reading the implications right. even then jake isn’t good for jane either both got their own needs this ship would’ve been sunked in canon and WAS but the sequals are beyond it so maybe that explains it but it disgusts me.

roseterezi: guess in meat specifically. yeah i kinda dont...care for it, like i still cant tell if rose and kanaya broke up or if she just fucked off without breaking up either one is fucked up on kan’s behalf. even then i just dont care for their kismesis it got brought up once and that was it.

jaderose: candy wise i guess even tho it was a fling. it disgusts me still mostly because of kan’s behalf on bein fucked over and both goin through a ‘surrogation’ process without her notice. like fuck this shit the jaderose fans deserve better.

roxycallie: idk if this one’s canon but it’s heavily implied callie lives with roxy least in candy. it’s cute, cant deny it even in og it was pretty cute, dont really care for candy vers tho but then again maybe their not a couple in it idk what’s canon couples anymore.

johnterezi: literally fucked in meat universe and john has kismesis feelings for her in canon. it’s...interesting, idk tho i feel like it’s one sided on john’s side.

ms paint/spade slick: i cant deny it’s cute, he’d least know how to treat a lady but god i’d hope it wouldnt be his only defining trait with her. also want ms paint to call his bullshit out pls and thanks.

dirkjake: honestly i cant tell if their STILL canon in og or not god forbid the sequals. in general though...i dont. i honestly dont really like em together much. they seem like the type to least stay friends but idk bout another relationship would be a good idea for em. maybe later down the line but otherwise canon wise they need a break.

and now for the canon one timer ships this involves any ships implied, uncomfirmed, ex-relationships, crushes, etc:

arasol: it’s cute, best ship. their quadrant was never confirmed but regardless their cute. sol tho in the sequals deserved better then to get abandoned by aradia goddamn.

fefsol: also cute, i live for both of em bein ass’s together.

erisol: oh boi this one...this was...yeah i cant even deny they wouldnt be too healthy, i like lookin at fanon ways tho for em. canon wise tho yeaaaah no these guys definietly wouldnt work.

gamtav: it’s...cute but boi gamzee needs some help i think.

gamsol: -sollux did imply he either wanted a kismesis or matesprit with him in one of the flashes- again same as gamtav.

aradia/equius: BIG NOPE nope nope nope equi that’s weird wha ya did never do it again thank fuck aradia hasnt been around him since.

karterezi: their actually kinda cute, looking back on em they could’ve worked. stupid doomed timeline bullshit.

daverezi: also kinda cute, idk tho if i got flushed for em tho i get more pale vibes but it was semi-a thing.

kanvris: it’s baaaaad kanaya deserves much better and vriska never seemed much the type for cementing into a relationship.

vristav: even worse, like i’d like to thank fuck tav one up-ed her in the end cause fuck wha he had to go through.

karmeenah: it...could be cute? maybe? only iffy part is the ages, i thought the dancestors were like sixteen tho since the kids said they were teenagers even tho they were at the time about fourteen? idk tho if eighteen is considered an adult in alternia or not tho it’s kinda implied to be? anyways tho it’s just off puttin maybe a bit tho.

meenahvris: it’s kinda cute, it was atleast, idk lookin back it does feel more unhealthy.

rufidama: baaaaaad i love rufi but he’s got some bullshit he needs worked out and damara deserves someone better.

rufihorr: just as bad as above, both deserve someone better or atleast horrus does with some therapy on it rufioh i think should just chill on relationships but it’s so obvious their not meant to be.

mitula: it’s cuuuuuute i cant deny it, ...okay fanon vers is canon is barely anything and tula does give more pale implications for tuna but with how protective she was over damara near him it’s sweet, but god do i wish canon tuna gave more feelings for tula.

kantula: it’s...creepy. like it’s so obvious the vantas bois cant communicate well but kankri’s crush feels almost pressuring on tula when he kept goin about them and goin “oh but we’re totally friends and i’m celibate so it’s okay its whatevs” like kan go to a corner give tula some air to breath.

crotuna: BIG NOPE cronus needs to learn fuckin boundaries thirsty fish bastard.

should i even add cro//eri due to the fact he literally asked an eridan out? regardless gross, ew, no, i’ll take the fanon ampora brothers anyday canon i didnt fuckin need that thx.

porrnea: it was implied to be more of a fling. idk considerin aranea’s track record i cant really say i’d trust her in many flushed quads. and porrim seems the type to have hers open and not a closed off thing so idk they got different cases.

aranea/jake: i cant deny it’s fuckin cute, i’d would’ve loved if they tried to do somethin but aranea was definietly uhhh not a good choice for jake. least she backed off when he didnt wanna be kissed but man yeah, it was cute while it lasted.

kurmeu: i cant deny the idea kur forced himself quiet due to hurting meu hurts me in a sweet way but as of rn them bein ‘pale’ and him mind controllin her when we dunno if she’s alright with this or not is...disturbing.

vristerezi: i am HIGHLY doubtful this is canon considering everything but i guess i gotta cement this. i dont see em as canon in og or sequal wise since vris is still gone in both, even then i dont like, see it, i see it but idk man i like em more pale then pail.

erifef: honestly no. both are much too different for a relationship, kinda glad they uh...got cut short cause honestly even their moirailship wasnt healthy what’s to say a matespritship would? on BOTH sides mind you.

rosejohn: thank karkat’s shipping board. anyways, i think their cute cause fuck it rose is a bi-con to me, canon wise probably wouldnt work but i’ll take fanon.

vriseri: kinda glad they got cut short of their kismesis cause boi eridan deserves a better one with how shit vriska was in breaking up with him.

johnvris: it was cute, i cant deny i’m soft over how the two talked things about vriska’s life and john’s it’s just kinda cute. it’s obvious tho canon wise with wha john went through it wont work out. would’ve loved if they became moirails tho but o well canon is god i guess.

spadePM: i dont like much of their implications, would be an unhealthy relationship regardless considerin spade’s flushed and PM’s pitch, they deserve some therapy and other people.

dadbert/momlonde: their cute i like the implications of em, sad they died though, it was cute while it lasted.

meowrails: may aswell count moirails in this shipping mess. anyways their cute, they gimmie sibling vibes course equius early into it was so...not a good moirail.

kurtuna: i guess it might be cute moirails? idk tho with kurloz’s implications it concerns me.

gamkar: as moirails...karkat was fuckin shit at his job i cant sugarcoat it. i get where it’s from he’s not gam’s lusus and shouldn’t be forced to check on him during his time of gettin high and such, i get they were kids, but god gam kinda deserved a better moirail. and then later on in the series it gets more fucked up between kar gettin stabbed by him and both in a pretty unhealthy moirailationship to the fixed timeline where gamzee is just shut into a fridge and kar doesnt fuckin care, like dude, wow. gamzee was bad yeah but damn, harsh a tad.

terezigam: as a kismesis it’s almost disgustingly unhealthy to me and honestly terezi deserved better and gamzee maaaaybe shouldn’t get a kismesis, ever, unless he can sort his shit out -the sequals tho wont do that lol-

minorly gonna count johndave in this: idk if i can see john reciprocating for dave so dave’s crush on him almost kinda hurts, especially since fixed timeline dave’s john is well, dead and our john is probably still different from his john, has angst but man i kinda dont mind it as a one sides crush it’s nice confirmation of dave bein bi atleast.

nepetajasper/jasprose: i cant see it, it’s disturbing i guess. i like em more as friends but jasprose is probably more creepy bout it.

signless/diciple: i think considerin the implications they were fuckin adorable and deserved the best.

summoner/mindfang: it’s kinda sad considerin its implied mindfang’s love for him might’ve been one sided, they could’ve been cute tho.

orphanor/mindfang: probably sounded like the best kismesis’s until he murdered dolorosa.

dolorosa/mindfang: BIG NOPE i dun like the implications.

condence/orphaner: since it’s implied orphaner had a crush on her, gonna say tho big nope considerin condence is a bitch.

condence/lord english: its hard to decipher their relationship in canon, but to cover all my bases it’s big nope to me somethin bout it makes me uncomfy despite both bein bastards.

[skittymon]

Finally finished Tales of Eternia!! 

And that makes 11th tales games finished and 15th overall played in some degree (Phantasia, Legendia, Innocence, and DotNW being the ones I havent finished yet).

Once I started again in December I decided that instead of liveblogging I’d make a review at the end instead.

So here we go! I will keep this spoiler free as possible!

I’m pretty scatterbrained but I’ll try to divide this into: combat, story, characters, and other game mechanics.

Combat: So obviously, the combat is above Phantasia and Destiny’s, being made after them. I honestly have grown fond of the 2d linear style format. There’s so many different boss fights in this game that can only work in a 2d field rather than 3d. 

On the flip side, that’s not always a good thing. I count bosses like the wild dog thing in Vesperia, and Fodra Queen of Graces to be among the hardest mandatory boss fights in tales. Welp, Eternia added one to the ranks. Rem (aka Aska the light spirit) is one of the most frustrating boss fights I’ve done. Apart from constantly slowing healing itself, on the field it brings a shiny ball with it. You cannot destoy the orb, it’s there all fight, and if you touch it it hurts you. And of course it blocks the way to Rem. There is a way past it, it moves up and down so you just have to wait until its up to move past. BUT GUESS WHAT THE AI DOESNT DO. So your party will probably either be dying or constantly in pain. AND REM CAN MOVE THE ORD ANYWHERE. Also you cant physically hit Rem while its casting a spell only far away skills. So if you ever play this game just cheese it and spam variations of Sonic Blade.

Of course, on the flip side it’s every easy for you to cheese boss fights and just back them up into a corner unable to move or do anything until they die, so it evens out.

The sprite animations for the artes are gorgeous. Reid moves so fluidly in his artes, he’s honestly my third favorite protag to play as behind Yuri and Ludger because of this. The caster animations are great as well, granted it can become cluttered and hard to see in when artes like blizzard and earth shaker are used. BUT GOD DAMN I CAN WATCH MEREDY USE METEOR ALL DAY IT LOOKS SO COOL.

Nitpicks about the combat system are, Life, the reviving spell Farah has, takes to long to charge, and for Meredy and Keele to use healing artes you have to mix and match who has what craymel (spirit). There might be a guide but I didnt look beyond reddit so Life was the only resurrection spell I had. 

Last nitpick comes from the Aurora Artes. Aurora Artes are skills only Reid can use, but in order to use them you have to have health below 15% and press circle, square, and x at the same time, so it’s very easy to mess up and die. Then to use more Aurora Artes you press the same buttons repeatedly, and after you use them Reid is left with 1 hp. AND the final boss has an automatic kill skill, you have to press the buttons at the right time to activate it and keep everyone alive, or you can cheese it like I did and have Farah hold a reverse doll to revive her after she dies. Did I also mention this skill happens in phase 2 of the fight when the bosses health is less than 20,000 after starting from 300,000? If you fuck up thats like 10mins of redoing.

But to end on a better note for this section, I love the way artes are learned. You have to use certain artes a number of times before you can unlock it (I THINK abyss and vesperia and many others are like this but this is the first time I found it rewarding). I grinded like hell to get the best artes for Reid AND YOU BET IT WAS WORTH IT. Omega Demon Chaos I love you,,,,

Story: Like countless other Tales titles, the conflict comes from two worlds being at odds with each other. However this game does something that none of the other games have done with this story beat. Language barriers! It’s super cool in the first couple of hours theyre just trying to figure out how to talk with Meredy. Of course by the end this point is nearly dropped entirely, everyone else just getting the special ear ring I spent 3 hours to get so the plot can move on.

Like most tales, theres a moment you thought the story would end but BOOM the twist. I wasn’t shocked by it, but that’s because I knew who the final antagonist of the game was prior to playing it, but still it was executed well. 

Something that makes this Tales stand out is how they deal with backstory. So the main fours backstory is vital to the story and their characters but they don’t show it till like 20 hours in. It’s like if Graces you start off in main arc and learn about the childhood arc 2/3 of the way through and went “ohhhh that’s why they were distant with each other.” And other stuff about it but I won’t spoil it.

Overall a good story, though I do feel like I’m missing things either from missing some side quests, or because of no skits.

Characters: The main ones to shine are the four main characters (Reid, Farah, Keele, and Meredy), everyone else literally is either one dungeon and/or optionable. Chat does still feel like a character being the owner of the Van Elita aka means of transportation for half the game. Max and Ras tho rip. ESPECIALLY MAX. Ya know how every tales there’s the mandatory Talk Before The Final Battle? Yea well they all get one except Max. You see him, but he doesnt talk, YET THEY CRAYMELS DO.

Another odd, yet charming, thing is that there’s no big moment of character development for anyone like Luke cutting his hair, Magilou keeping the portal open, or punch in the face like Alvin. They just. Slowly change. And its really weird cause for all of disc 1 Keele is basically an unbearable asshole and he just? Learns to be a better person from everything he sees? There’s no callout or moment of realization, he just slowly learns and it’s super refreshing. 

Reid is probably one of the most relatable protagonists up there with Jude. I’m sure most of you know the “he doesn’t want to do shit lol” persona he has BUT GOD WHY HE’S LIKE THAT BABY I LOVE YOU. Farah’s personality is also explained in the backstory, so for any of you crestoria players that Farah’s backstory is really different like how Emil’s is, but the sentiment of why she’s like that is the same and stem for a similar event.

Meredy’s also great. I thought I’d get annoyed of her and her “You bet!” but god when she says it the last time at the end of the game, I was pretty moved. I wish I knew more about her backstory but I’m pretty sure a certain section of her life info was left to skits and ya know we didn’t get those till Symphonia :)))

As antagonists go, besides the Craymels who are there to test you before you get their power, there’s just two. Main boss and their lackey. The lackey is eh. You see him once at the beginning of the game, then see him destroy a  city, then one last time where you kill him. You do get his backstory and stuff but eh I’m usually not fond of tales mini villains minus Chimerad, God Generals, and Artorius’s lackeys

The main antagonist tho, I really don’t wanna spoil it but it’s hard to talk about why I’m conflicted on it without spoiling. So it’s like Destiny’s final boss but written better in some part and worse in others. So at one point it’s super emotional and pretty powerful with the message eternia wants to send but at the same points its a jrpg where you gotta kill god cause he doesn’t think humans are worth it. 

Oh one more thing thats honestly hilarious, there’s literally SINGLE animated cutscene by Production I.G in this entire game minus the op. 

Other things: the amount of mini games in this game is insane, but the amount you have to do IN JUST THE SECOND DISC to continue the plot is more than any other tales game I can recall. Some of them are fun like the card game, others like the bomb one I want to throw in a fire. 

There’s also so much Destiny pandering in this game. There’s portraits of the characters, you can collect lens, I’m 95% sure the way a certain character is done is because they wanted another Leon, you can SUMMON THE SWORDIAN USERS ARE AS AN ACTUAL SUMMON. While all Phantasia gets is the cameo battle and the Eternal Sword. I mean I didn’t mind cause I’ve finished Destiny and it’s one of my fav tales games but damn it was pretty obvious. 

EXPLORATION IS SO FUN IN THIS GAME. Mainly near the end when you have free reigns. YOU CAN DIVE UNDERWAY AND EXPLORE THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA WHAT OTHER TALES GAME LETS YOU DO THAT??? 

In conclusion: A fun game! I don’t think it was worth 133 dollars tho consider my play file was 35 hours and thats with a good chuck of side quests and ex bosses. Probably in my top 5 combat systems of tales and final villains, but not in terms of story or characters. A really hope it gets remastered soon I’d love for more people to play it.

[journaloftomfooleryandjapery]

All the TOP 10 OF THE DECADE posts made me want to make one of my own, so here’s my 10 fave games this decade:

Yakuza 0  Shovel Knight  Nier Automata  Metal Gear Rising  Gunvolt Chronicles Luminous Avenger IX Final Fantasy XV   Scott pilgrim vs the world the game Undertale Persona 5  Doom

Danganronpa 2, New Vegas, Touhou Luna Nights, Katana Zero and Mario Odyssey all only barely missed out, and it was a tough decision not to include them. I loved the shit out of those games but thinking it through I decided they were just slightly less loved by me than the above.

Below the cut are some extended thoughts (of varying length) on the games included:

Just CTRL F if you wanna find a specific one

Yakuza 0

Every Yakuza game is delightful and this is definitely the best one, in my opinion. The Yakuza games appeal to me for a lot of reasons: the combat, the story, the variety of activities, the look of it all and the music. I feel like its a very unique game experience with its blend of weird in-depth side activities, serious crime drama, manly man masculine combat friendship melodrama, metal gear-esque convoluted conspiracies and a surprisingly compassionate view of the world it takes place in. 

The combat is what drew me in initially because it just feels good, the feedback of stomping on a dudes face in yakuza is delivered perfectly, and the attacks are brutal, hard and flashy. Its a very solid and satisfying combat system and in 0 its the best it has ever been. The ability to switch between 3 different and equally fun fighting styles on the fly really lets you mix things up and adapt your approach, every style feels fun and useful. If i had to pick a favorite it would be slugger, but its a tough choice, and they are all very viable and FUN.

Yakuza 0 also gets big points for having the best story in the series. The protagonists feel much more interesting in this era, the fights feel more earned in this game than others, the relationships are incredibly touching (I’m almost mad majima didnt stay with makoto) and the substories (and some parts of the main story) are the funniest they’ve ever been. Stuff like the quasi-stealth mission where you have to make sure women don’t see you buying a porn magazine for a child, and the extended scene of kiryu trying to guess the right business manners for a meeting had me laughing so much i was i was almost in physical pain.

The extensive business and host club substories get you tons of extra game content and are good enough to almost be there own game. The other games in the series have extended side activites of varying quality, but i think 0 had a rare case of all of these being, basically, perfect. The team obviously agrees since host club management came back repeatedly, but never as good as it was here.

Being set in the 80s elevates almost everything in the game because of the outfits, money flying out of every enemy you attack, the classic sega games you can play at the arcade (Outrun is so much fun and I’d have never have given it a proper go otherwise) and the disco minigame everyones made a meme out of (that music is so catchy).

As a final note this game has the best boss fights and music in the series, which is a very high standard to surpass when you look at the rest of the series. The dual final boss fights, the recurring boss for kiryu and almost every majima fight are highlights of the entire series for me. 

0 is going to end up being one of the few games I’ll never sell my copy of because i want it available for me to play forever, its a complete delight.

Shovel Knight

This game has been analysed to hell and back, so i wont have much original to say i suppose. Admittedly i did enjoy the first campaign but it didnt completely win me over, plague knights campaign and beyond was what really made this an all time greats for me. It’s one of very few games that gets the NES+SNES platforming appeal 100% right and essentially surpasses most games of the day, with almost perfect pacing, challenge and level design. IT helps that the whole world and story and look is charming as all hell. It’s an easy game to love and the more you play it the more that feels justified. Being PACKED with great content is also a plus. If you liked the first campaign you can just keep going through a set of campaigns about as good that only really rehash some level assets. I would say its one of the best 2D platformers ever for me, if not quite my true number 1.

ALSO JAKE KAUFMAN KNOCKS IT OUT THE PARK WITH THIS SOUNDTRACK

Since i have little else to add to the shovel knight discussion, here’s my ranking/thoughts on each campaign

Plague of shadows. BEST storyline, great levels with a really cool gameplay gimmick, the characters are all cute and the ending really makes me feel for him. both sorry for him at first and then a very real AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW for LOVE

King of cards. king knight is just fun as hell to play as, he doesnt have that many tools but his movement is just crazy fun and i love the flair in all his animations. also has that rad final boss. joustus is ok i guess.

Shovel of hope. uuuuuuh what can i even say about this. its good, and the melancholy dream bits add a lot to the mood of the story. we’ve already analysed this campaign within an inch of its life i dont think i can say anything new. wish we could fight the battletoads on pc.

Specter of torment. still fun and i appreciate the tone change, but i didnt care as much for the characters and the mega man-esque level select doesnt suit shovel knight imo. specter knight has a lot of fun movement options though. mainly i just love GRINDING and the diagonal slash. i dont give a fuck about reize

Nier Automata

I feel a tiny bit ashamed i have so little to say about this considering it is one of the most emotional experiences i have ever had with a story. If i lsten to the final version of weight of the world i still cry just from remembering this game and how it made me feel. i think its one of the greatest narratives of the century but i can barely get across the appeal to anyone who hasnt already played it. its a story about hope, despair and the nature of the human race that never feels like its preachy or pretensious or taking on more than it can handle. it made me feel all kinds of emotions deeply and intensely, it genuinely made me burst into tears about 10 times, maybe more. even putting aside the ggrand narrative, theres so many cool character moments and bits of world building and visual eements and tragic little side stories that you would need a whole book to talk about them all while doing any real justice to them. i loved it so much that im paying £70 to see an orchestra do the soundtrack live. I want to hug and kiss 2b and 9s better. i just love it deeply and i find it hard to explain why it makes me feel that way, but its a dark beautiful and hopeful story where every moment feels earned. the despair of the story giving way to genuine hope with the rest of the world helping you fight for it is such an intensely emotional moment that you could never replicate outside of this kind of story and medium. how the fuck do i explain that to anyone that doesnt already get it. I’m glad this game exists

Metal Gear Rising 

Well, complete tone shift here. Platinum made a lot of great action games in the last decade that all dig into that same itch for DODGE SLOW MOTION BANG BANG BANG alongside great soundtracks, visuals and awesome set piece moments. Just intense, flashy, awesome combat. Picking a favorite of the decade was the hard part, because a platinum game had to be one of my faves of the decade. The closest was transformers, but mgr has a couple of things about it that put it above the rest of the platinum catalog for me.

The story actually works very well at still being metal gear while in the platinum formula, its about the cycle of violence and FINDING YOUR OWN PURPOSE and it works weirdly well. The strangest part is that it feels like a legitimate sequel to metal gear 4 tonally while still being the crazy action game it is

Raiden is just super fun to play as, while I’ll always miss the DODGE SLOWMO in a platinum game parry and zandatsu give a great flow to fights and there’s real exhilaration to parrying a hard chain of attacks and tearing out a bunch of enemies spines at once every time

raiden is also just  a fun protag, it truly allows me to embrace that kind of stereotypical edgy cool anime swordsman he embodies

BEST PLATINUM SOUNDTRACK DO NOT @ ME

Bosses just rule

one of the best final bosses ever, in my opinion? maybe that’s controversial, but armstrong gets an insane amount of characterization and pure PRESENCE out of such a small amount of screen time and the fact he feels like such a perfect rival to raiden so quickly is kind of nuts to me. within about half an hour you are ready for the ultimate final showdown with everything at stake, and then the gameplay 100% delivers on that with a fight that is challenging as hell and just feels climatic and intimidating. its a little thing, but having this dude just smack you around with his hands and almost no fighting skill after a game filled with crazy flippy cyborg ninjas makes him feel TOUGH and the way you finish him off? it just rocks, plain and simple. I don’t think i need to justify slices a massive dudes chest open and ripping out his giant still beating robot heart as the music climaxes and our cool edgy protag literally says WE’RE DONE HERE. truly, it has to be this way.

Gunvolt Chronicles Luminous Avenger IX 

For fast twitchy 2d platformers this barely beat out Katana Zero and Touhou Luna Nights, but i think its just a little better. The skill ceiling on this game is high as hell and once you really get to grips with it, its an experience you cant find anywhere else. its just satisfying as hell to be able to get through the point where you can ZOOM  through these levels by making use of copen’s dash and lock-on and weapons well enough. once you get good enough to get through a hole level without touching the ground, you just cant go back. I liked this enough to get an S rank on almost every level. this game just rules, man.

story, art and music are all great as well. but they pale in importance next to zippy jetpack zoom zoom fun time.

also great for having a cool twist that i genuinely did not see coming at all

Final Fantasy XV   

For context, my experience of FFXV was not the base game so i cannot personally address the concerns of the version at launch, which i hear from others was a total mess! The game has been updated and changed so much that it is probably almost unrecognizable aside from the absolute base aspects of it. The version i am talking about is, as far as we know, the “final” version released right before Episode Ardyn. There was of course an update after this, but it only added DLC compatibility and a few items, so it means very little in the grand scheme. I also played all of the dlc and watched all the periphery material to get the full, messy disjointed experience. it is also worth noting that the only other FF game i have played is the classic title Mario Hoops 3 on 3 Basketball. I feel it important to tell you this before getting into things so that you can have a full idea of the perspective i come at the game from.

This was chosen over Mario Odyssey and someone will probably kill me for that. I just think its a great emotional story that does a fantastic job of making you care for all the characters, and the world feels massive and full of cool stuff to see. It’s my favorite open world game and i love The Boys.  its not the kind of thing i usually play but i think it genuinely had a great story and its a very fun game to just explore and spend time in. ffxv truly understands the emotional bond between The Lads and it is fun to kill big monsters with your party

(they kinda ruin the last cutscene in english, in japanese he says I LOVE YOU GUYS and it makes me cry but in english he goes U GUYS ARE THE BEST which just isnt the same. a small nitpick though. a lot of this game made me cry regardless, its just great at creating an emotional bond)

I admire the insane level of ambition in the visuals and scope, and i bought every dlc for it because it was just that good. the ifrit boss fight and all the giant monsters are just amazingly epic in scale. the “found a cool rock” post is what i truly admire about this game summed up. 

all the ancillary material for the game is great and worth getting into, with the exception of the Comrades multiplayer expansion. Everything else adds depth to the story and the world without being entirely necessary for you to get through the story. the anime and the dlc all really feel worth getting into without being something you have to see to get The Full Experience

the giant monsters are cool

Scott Pilgrim vs the World: The Game

Being from 2010 this game only just makes it in, but it was my favorite beat em up this decade and a source of great nostalgia for me. It had a pretty big impact on music and art tastes in regards to games, and in retrospect this games existence was very much a dream team scenario. Paul Robertson is a great sprite artist who does a lot of good work, Anamanaguchi have gone on to become one of my favorite bands (another winter is still one of their best tracks imo) and at the time this came out i was obsessed with scott pilgrim. That plus the beat em up gameplay makes this kind of a perfect blending of a lot of my specific tastes. Playing this brings me back to the time in my school life that i played it very distinctly, a more comfortable time in my life for sure, and i think the game still stands up excellently. I hope that someday it will get a rerelease so others can enjoy it. I give this another play through every year or so, but i wish id gotten the dlc while it was still available

Doom

ITS VIOLENT ITS FAST ITS FUN ITS METAL

i like this game because of the intense adrenaline rush and violent catharsis it gives me, essentially a constant dopamine rush

fun game good

Undertale

I’m glad i got to this before the massive wave of spoilers and popularity came about. It’s a great story with some fun gameplay, and i think SANS UNDERTALE was one of the best boss fights this decade. Its a shame that for so many new players this experience is going to be ruined by spoilers

Persona 5 

Danganronpa 2 and fallout new vegas were close contenders for this last spot. I actually made a post about my thoughts on this game before https://journaloftomfooleryandjapery.tumblr.com/post/184341270554/nue-is-great-love-his-goofy-design-when-life-will but essentially 

Essentially, its got a great cast of characters, a cool slick look, great monster designs, a fun gameplay loop of collecting monsters and grinding stats while waiting for the next big event, and a surprisingly good story

No idea if royal is any good, but its on a pretty small list of games that i might actually take the time to replay

[outofthewoods]

REPUTATION - ALBUM REVIEW

alright girlies here it is my first impressions (whatever I wrote down after the SS plus a few notes I made when it dropped) I AM LITERALLY....QUITE LITERALLY SHAKING....MY WIG: IS ON MARS 

READY FOR IT: At first I was kind of like…. :/ about this song but it’s actually a really good opener and a banger. Not sure I would’ve picked it as the second single but it goes all the way off. The bass has me shook Line: “he can be jailor burton to this taylor”

END GAME Very…..the weeknd vibes right ladies ?????????? this is like…..taylor’s Instagram baddie moment It is still SO WEIRD To me to hear rapping and Taylor swift in one song. Even tho we have the bad blood remix Im still….shook by Future and Taylor together ??????????? I really like this, it’s not one of my top 5 I don’t think but it’s so different from what I would've thought of for another ed/taylor collab Ed is giving me some don’t vibes..i’m into it…ed talking about the fourth of July is really iconic. Taylor telling the story of how this came about was really iconic too…I can literally picture her and ed getting drunk and being like HOWWWW COOL WOULD IT BE TO COLLAB WITH FUTURE????? LOL and then it actually happening I love her like. talk/shout/singing when she says “big reputation…” Line: “I swear I don’t love the drama, it loves me” Her runs in the last chorus THANK GOD…..I NEEDED THESE VOCALS…..

I DID SOMETHING BAD THIS SONG HAD ME FUCKING QUAKING IN THE SESSION…… “If a man talks shit then I owe him nothing” THE CHORUS BANGS…..IM LITERALLY……MOUTH OPEN SHOCKED I CANT BELIEVE THIS….THE M.I.A. PAPER PLANES MACHINE GUN SOUNDS…. This is so……blank space but……..fucking darker you SINNERS “If he drops my name I owe him nothing, if he spends my change then he had it coming…” The chorus is here again Im bopping so fucking HARD WOWWWWWWWWWWWWW I’M……….CRYING AT THE VOCALIZATIONS OF THE HOOK. I’m pretty sure she said this came to her the same way she came up with “STAY!” in AYHTDWS The bridge ladies LIGHT ME UP!!! GO AHEAD AND LIGHT ME UP YOU FUCKING HEATHENS!!!! THIS SONG MAKES THE WHOLE ALBUM WORTHY OF A GRAMMY Im literally shaking like my skin is quivering….that 2000’s fade out……Please kill me

DON’T BLAME ME This is the hozier…take me to church….taylor swift version The chords are her vocals and that. Is revolutionary, Einstein found dead in Miami Line: “I would fall from grace just to touch your face, if you walk away I’d beg you on my knees to stay” The like…..wopping of the chorus is really just…..gold Her falsetto at the end of the second verse. Wig on mars This is the stoner Taylor swift song we didn't know we needed but are so thankful we have VOCALS IN THE LAST CHORUS….I NEEDED SOME RUNS AND THE PRERELEASES DIDNT GIVE THEM TO ME BECAUSE SHE WAS SAVING HER DESTRUCTION OF EVERY OTHER PERSONS VOCALS FOR THE ALBUM

DELICATE This is very Imogen heap to me…… like the layered robotic vocals. It’s very interesting…..a really good segue from DBM It’s got like a deep house….tropical feel to it that I am really enjoying girlies “my reputation’s never been worse, so he must like me for me” why does that line have me crying Taylor swift you are literally sunshine THIS IS THE CHORUS I REMEMBERED….the is it cool is it chill etc…….that’s what I thought CIWYW was after the SS for some reason ???? “do the girls back home touch you do like I do?” SECOND VERSE LYRICS Got me feeling some wildest dreams type of way she looked at me so much during this song I’m emotional, I was bopping to the chorus and she was laughing at me and winking when the beat comes in during the chorus Not a standout from the album but very cool very different good vibes man

LWYMMD Obviously a bop. I see why it’s in the middle of the album and when Taylor explained the progression of the songs this really makes a lot of sense. I’m just feeling fragile bc Taylor swift grabbed me by my cheeks, pulled me towards her, grabbed my hands, and danced with me during this song. Wow BABY I GOT MINE BUT YOU’LL ALL GET YOURS!!! We literally screamed this in each other’s faces it was so……amazing I will NEVER FORGET The video…..do we even need to remind ourselves of how fucking iconic it was When I first heard this I was so confused I had just woken up in Ireland at 6am to listen and I was like . What is this But the chorus goes all the way off tbh This is like a parallel to shake it off….the themes and messages of……being yourself and rising above what other ppl think of you…..

SO IT GOES… Ok I literally blanked this song from my memory at the session, I think bc it was right after LWYMMD and me and Taylor having our first proper moment of the night “Back against the wall….tripping when you’re gone…” This album is so bass heavy. I’m loving the studio instruments, I thought I would miss the live guitars etc but I really don’t because it doesn’t fit with the album “I’m so chill but you make me jealous” Sis we have learned from 10 years of music from you that you aren't chill al;ksdfnjksdhifbknsdfdkjf I love you mom I love the way she says so it goes! In the chorus “You know I’m not a bad girl….but I do bad things with you…” WHOMST “SCRATCHES DOWN YOUR BACK NOW…. Taylor you've done several numbers on me I stopped counting 8 years ago the whispered 1..2….3……WOW VOCALS….AGAIN……….SCRATCHES DOWN YOUR BACK NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHES REALLY WILDIN OUT HUH

GORGEOUS This is such a cute song. For me it seems like one of the ones I like less, but at the session I remember being so happy listening to it because she pointed me out and called me by name when she was passing out the new merchandise….so I was chillin Also she kept winking at me during the DINGS!

GETAWAY CAR Queen of whisper singing I wanted to leave him….I needed a reason SUDDENLY I WILL ONLY EVER DRINK OLD FASHIONEDS. IVE NEVER HEARD OF ANY OTHER DRINK Okay in my mind I was like this song is :/ but it bangs to be honest! I love the chorus Should've known Id be the first to leave….this song is full of tea ladies This song to me seems like it’s about a rebound relationship that wasn’t so serious/was just a way to release pent up emotions from something awful “X marks the spot….where we fell apart…..” the pre chorus is really out here doing that sweeties The bridge has an interesting modulation that i don't know how to feel about….this whole album is like full of surprises/polarizing musical techniques so this is cool This is Taylor Swift fleshing out a metaphor/concept masterpiece to her full ability. Queen of literature who is Shakespeare I’ve never heard of him Said goodbye….in a getaway car……. The ends of the songs are so interesting on rep…….this one goes off

KING OF MY HEART “I’m better off being alone…” Miss Taylor I’m so glad that you’ve stopped thinking this because you are really….the most WORTHY person of love in the whole wide world… This is probably my least favorite song on the album. It has some remnants of getaway car in it I feel……she’s cute but getaway car is sexy and sexy destroys cute It’s a little repetitive but I appreciate it’s placement on the album………..you move to me like a Motown beat…..alright Miss king of my heart redeeming herself My broken bones are mending……….taylor I love u………why are u drinking beer when u could be having an old fashioned tho…..beer is gross

DANCING WITH OUR HANDS TIED Thank you piano I love a live instrument The story behind this song is so heartbreaking and knowing that makes….the song so much more impactful to me “You had turned my bed into a secret oasis, people started talking putting us through our paces” here’s a big fat FUCK YOU to the daily mail Again the chorus comes in and is so….huge and sprawling compared to the rest of the song…..shaking us to our very cores! I love that you can hear the frantic/anxiety she was feeling throughout the song….like the rushed vocals and drawn out lower notes…..then the chorus just coming in with GLORY I LOVE the instrumental of the chorus so much…..it’s so beautiful and a little 1989 to me. Like very eighties synth heavy We also have some VOCALS! In the bridge and last chorus! the runs are giving me life

DRESS This song is like a …… I’m kind of drunk in the meatpacking district running from bar to bar with someone I love in the cold with big coats on….tea to me The falsetto. Queen Taylor has really been expanding her vocal register and I’m FUCKING here for it “Everybody thinks they know us” circling back to the overall theme of the album. We know what she chooses to let us know and beyond that we’re just fucking guessing sinners This song is like a …… I don't really care what they think of us I just wanna really…………see your dick and I don't care what anyone thinks of that ! THE HAIR BLEACHED LINE……SHE IS LITERALLY THE QUEEN OF SELF DRAGS I CANT SHES SO SELF AWARE ITS UNBELIEVABLE…….she’s like being humorous but also referencing a time in her life that was really shitty for her so. Queen of duplicity “I woke up just in time…” this line says so much about where she was when she started seeing Joe

THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS Oh girlies…..I have been so excited to hear this again since the session. She spilled some major fucking SCALDING tea before playing this so my ass was fully ready to be sloughed The alarms in the beginning…..a champagne sea…..my dream…… This is so fucking tongue in cheek about what everyone said about her #squad “I have to take them away” DEAD this is why she stopped having 4th of July parties klsadjidfnksdfd “Stabbed me in the back while shaking my hand….” Oh no…………WHO WOULD DO THIS TO MISS TAYLOR!!!!!!! “I took an axe to a mended fence….” The mhhhhhmmmmmm………. IF ONLY YOU WERENT SO SHADY SALKJFSDNKFJGM,DFLKNJGIDK WHY IS THIS SONG ABOUT ME SITTING ON TWITTER DRAGGING PEOPLE LEFT RIGHT AND CENTER Hard knock life………..TEA……during the fucking BANGER of a chorus….this is going to be so fun on tour…..SHE BETTER BE A SINGLE!!!!! hE sAiD shE saID!!!!! Here’s to mama…….yes miss Andrea here’s to u queen of the world THE BRIDGE…..SDFLSDMFJKNDNDSLJFKNFDJDSFNSD THIS IS WHY WE CANT HAVE!!!!! NICE!!!!! THINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cant even SAY IT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE Heres to my REAL FRIENDS! WOW….just wow ladies this is the future liberals want

CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT In my personal onion this is the most vulnerable song on the album. The first verse really has me out here crying in the club The chorus is so cute, this is a low-key banger and I wanna see her flying across the crowd during this song on tour

NEW YEARS DAY So here it is girlies….the most hyped song on the record…… Live piano. Minimal production. The concept behind this is so adorable “Candlewax and polaroids on the hard wood floor….” the most Taylor swift thing I have ever heard This relationship really seems like its forever my dudes she’s in it for the long run. She has never been so confident in a relationship that she’s CURRENTLY IN. She’s opening up DURING a relationship which is like……basically unheard of for her I love how subtle this is….the harmonies on the second chorus….crying in the club again “Hold on to the memories they will hold onto you…..” she said she's had that line ready to go for a while but couldn't find a place for it and here it is being adorable and wonderful also the line “Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I can recognize anywhere” Can I just speak on that line again….it is so beautiful and simple and shows how much she’s been through and the pain she has dealt with….and the sadness she KNOWS………..but she’s okay enough to talk about it. Im crying in the club 3.0

INITIAL RANKING: I Did Something Bad Don’t Blame Me Call It What You Want Dress Delicate Dancing With Our Hands Tied This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things Look What You Made Me Do Getaway Car …Ready For It? End Game New Year’s Day Gorgeous So It Goes King of my Heart

[laurendzim]

Book review: How does Alec Baldwin’s Trump impression sound on the page? Yuuge!

Penguin Press

“You Can’t Spell America Without Me”

Can anyone really satirize the self-satirized antics of Donald Trump?

Comics have faced that challenge since Trump reassured the nation about the size of his genitals during the GOP presidential debate in March 2016. If parody requires exaggeration, what does Trump’s real-life performance leave to exaggerate?

Alec Baldwin and Kurt Andersen rise to that yuuuge challenge in their new book, “You Can’t Spell America Without Me.” They’re the perfect authors — “the best people, the smartest people” — for this lavish parody, billed as a memoir by President Trump about his “really tremendous” first year in the White House. Baldwin, of course, has raised Trump parody to a fine art on “Saturday Night Live,” and Andersen has been mocking “the short-fingered vulgarian” since he co-founded Spy magazine back in the late 1980s.

“I consider myself the world’s greatest above-average Trump impersonator,” Baldwin says by phone from New York. Although he gets top billing on the book jacket, he’s quick to acknowledge his partner’s contribution: “Kurt did all the writing, and I did all the laughing.”

Their process wasn’t quite that simple, but Baldwin clearly admires Andersen’s satiric skill.

“To get inside the mind of Trump for 200 and something pages — that’s not easy to do,” Baldwin says. “And where Trump becomes more and more unraveled and becomes more and more loopy as the thing goes on, you’ve got to make those shifts, and you’ve got to make those turns very precisely and very specifically, and I think that’s Kurt’s greatest gift.”

“You Can’t Spell America Without Me” is a wacky narrative written in the voice of a boastful reality TV star who becomes president without any idea how government works. In between mad gushes of self-praise, Trump — as imagined by Baldwin and Andersen — excoriates his enemies, mocks his staff and praises his “very respectful” Filipino servant, Rodrigo. (Trump’s weird fixation on everyone’s racial and ethnic identity is one of the book’s many running gags.)

Penguin Press

“You Can’t Spell America Without Me”

If, like a certain resident of the White House, you don’t have time to actually read a book, this one is filled with dozens of hilarious photos. There’s Baldwin as President Trump arranging the toy soldiers on his desk, getting a fresh spray-on tan or playing golf while an aide briefs him on the global warming hoax. (“I got two holes in one, maybe more,” he claims, “so many I’m not even sure.”)

Some moments in the book are clearly ridiculous, such as Trump’s plan to sing “We Are the Champions” at his inauguration (“Mike Pence literally pleaded with me not to do that, because it turns out that guy who sang it originally was gay.”) But much of the absurd text hews so closely to Trump’s own speeches and interviews that the president might skip slander charges and just sue the authors for plagiarism.

That concern crossed Andersen’s mind.

“I was careful to not use any of his tweets raw,” he says with a laugh, “because I could imagine Donald Trump saying, ‘Oh, those are my copyrighted material.’ ”

The trick, Andersen explains, was to find a comic middle ground between the actual president, who he says is “like an over-the-top fictional character,” and the “cartoonish” figure Baldwin portrays on “Saturday Night Live.”

“We wanted to keep it in the realm of possibility and have exactly that kind of confusion: ‘Wait – is this the real guy or a parody of him?’ ” (Even the book’s title is an uncanny echo of Trump’s proclamation on Friday: “I’m the only one that matters.”)

Chapter after unhinged chapter, the president delivers his rambling monologue of feverish narcissism: “I’m going to have my White House lawyer look into whether or not we need a constitutional amendment so I can be president and chairman of the United States. I’m pretty sure we can just go ahead and do it by executive order, or maybe have Congress pass a bill to make it more official.”

Andersen says producing this parody required mastering the “palette of Trumpian linguistic tics” to create a “faithful reproduction at the molecular level.” The task went far beyond just repeating “unbelievable” or “huge.” He had to learn the president’s lexicon. He had to get a feel for the rhythm of those phrases. “The sentences go on and on and go in all kinds of different directions,” he says, “and they can’t be parsed by anything I ever learned in English class.”

No matter how funny this “memoir” may be, Andersen is dead serious about the president’s weaknesses. “I actually think he has diagnosable mental illnesses of various kinds,” he says. “Not that that means anything one way or the other, because I don’t want people to say, ‘Well, therefore, he’s not culpable. It’s an illness. We should pity him rather than scorn him.’

“I pity and I scorn him both.”

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Baldwin is more circumspect on that issue, even going so far as to admit to an ironic sympathy for Trump’s position. “In my public life, I have been psychoanalyzed by people. There are writers and journalists who venture out on that new journalism diving board not to write what I say but to analyze what I say and give their opinion of my own interior life. I’ve learned you can’t render a medical opinion about somebody that you’re not qualified to give.”

But then, come on — who can resist?

“Is Trump insane?” Baldwin asks. “Does Trump have dementia? Does Trump have any kind of neurological disorder or mental illness? I don’t know, but it sure looks that way.”

Well, it sure looks that way in this book. Andersen sees “You Can’t Spell America Without Me” as a “replay” of his old Spy magazine days, when he and co-founder Graydon Carter taunted the garish New York real estate developer. “The characters from Spy — like zombies — are bringing it back on their own in some weird 25-years-later fashion.”

And this surely isn’t the last laugh. In addition to his continuing appearances on SNL, Baldwin mentioned “another project where maybe a more finely tuned Trump might come into play.” He gave no specifics except to say, “It’s not a movie but a video project where I would want to try to play him.”

Believe me, that could make America great again.

Charles is the editor of Book World and host of TotallyHipVideoBookReview.com.

from News And Updates http://www.denverpost.com/2017/11/09/you-cant-spell-america-without-me-alec-baldwin-kurt-andersen-book-review/

[fitnessexpert00-blog]

Fitness Isnt a Lifestyle Anymore. Sometimes Its a Cult

New Post has been published on https://fitnessqia.com/must-see/fitness-isnt-a-lifestyle-anymore-sometimes-its-a-cult/

Fitness Isnt a Lifestyle Anymore. Sometimes Its a Cult

San Franciscos Fort Mason park is empty in the early morning darkness, every surface the color of a used cast-iron pan. Its pouring rain, and Ive been wandering around since just after 6, trying to find well, Im not exactly sure. All I know is that, according to a Facebook post, members of one of the strangest fitness groups in the country are supposed to be meeting here right about now. But the Google Maps screenshot I pulled from the website seems to have directed me to a parking lot. Or the front door of the high-end vegetarian restaurant Greens. Its hard to tell.

I check Facebook again.

What are you planning to do for the first Monday of 2016? Sleep in? Lazily slog on into work? No need for that. Come join us for #DonutMondays at NPSF (Gil, dont forget the donuts!). Fort Mason. 6:25AM

Just as I start thinking Ill have to find my own doughnut, a woman in her mid-twenties jogs up to me looking equally lost. Shes dressed in a gray Adidas jacket, black leggings, and a tank top that resembles caution tape. Her wet hair is stuck to her forehead as though shes just been dunked in the Pacific.

Do you know where November Project meets? she asks with a slight accent. Relieved, I tell her Im trying to find them as well. Im Stine! she says.

And then she hugs me.

What distinguishes November Project is not just the fact that its freejust as instructors arent paid, members dont paybut the degree to which it actually is a social identity. The movement extends beyond exercising to encompass rituals and customs, social expecta­tions, and repercussions for failing to participate. Thats right: If you skip a November Project workout, youre not out any cash, but the fallout is arguably more severe. Youre, well, shamed. Online. Its weird.

Spoiler: Not a lot of people miss workouts. Teixeira calls it an absolute feast for someone studying motivation for exercise.

One member compared November Project to a church. More commonly, people refer to it as a cult. Never in the pejora­tive Im-trapped-and-I-cant-escape sense, though. More like, This is the greatest-tasting Kool-Aid in the world!

Laura McCloskey leads the San Francisco tribe in a high-intensity workout. Hugs and hand-holding are not optional.Jake Stangel

While we walk, Stine, whos originally from Denmark, tells me about her obsession with November Project. Shes been a member of the Boston tribebears repeating: tribefor about four months and is visiting San Francisco for the week. Its been such a great way to meet people. Cities can be lonely, but you have this instant community, she says, using a nice-enough line that begins to sound like propaganda as I hear other members repeat it.

Two people who say it a lot are Brogan Graham and Bojan Mandaric. They are November Projects cofoundersand they totally fit their gladiatorial-sounding names: 6-foot-tall, bald, tattooed former collegiate rowers. Back in 2011, when the friends were trying to stay motivated during a Boston winter, they agreed to work out every weekday morning at 6:30, keeping track of their progress on a spreadsheet named for that first month, November.

Then, for reasons neither can quite remember, they sent out a tweet to see if anyone would join in. Two people became three, and a movement was born. When the Boston tribe reached 300 people, Graham and Mandaric got matching tattoos.

In the past few years, fitness has developed into some­thing of a social identity — at least among plugged-in, upper-middle-class, roughly millennial-age urbanites.

It was a powerful turning point for Graham. During his sophomore year at Northeastern University, he was charged with assaulting a rival college rower. Though the charge was dropped in exchange for community service, he lost his scholarship and was kicked out of school. The experience shaped Grahams views on community and inclusion. Got a bad rap? I dont care, he wrote in the movements official history. Are you at November Project to be kind, work your ass off, and start your day right? Then thats all that matters.

As Stine is telling me how much she loves November Projects instant community, we find who were looking for. Unmistakably silhouetted against the foggy morning sky, about 40 people stand in a lopsided semicircle, arms crossed, heads bowed against the wind. They could be praying.

A woman in striped leggings and a North Face trucker hat climbs onto a park bench. Good morning! says Laura McCloskey, the San Francisco tribe leader, in a stage whisper. Were going to do a workout that I just came up with! I want everyone to break into groups of four! Find your four! Try to group up with someone you dont normally pair with!

Jake Stangel

Before we start, she asks if today is anyones first time. A few people raise their hands. I, not quite ready to give up my anonymity, do not. The newbies are directed to state where they come from, how they got here, and whether theyre single. A version of this happens at every November Project meetup, one of the traditions borrowed from Graham and Mandarics original Boston tribealong with chants, stair laps, a rallying move called the bounce, and, of course, physical affection. People come looking for a sense of belonging, Mandaric says. We foster that.

The same thing goes for November Projects other tactics for promoting inclusiveness. Hashtags are essential follow November Project on Twitter and youll see a lot of #hills­forbreakfast, #sleepwhenyouredead, and #justshow­up. Members usually don highlighter-colored sportswear, stenciled and spray-painted with the logo #grassrootsgear. The result is a group of people who look alike, sound alike, and hug alike.

Toward the end of our workout, a man in my squat group finally discovers that I didnt announce myself as a new member. Were going to fix this, he says with a grin. He outs me to McCloskey, who has me wave to everyone during the group photo (another ritual) and apologize for not making my presence known. Eventually, everyone becomes part of the tribe.

Jake Stangel

In Graham and Mandarics crew days, their coach had a policy: If anyone missed practice, the whole team had to do dry-land workouts. It worked because nobody wanted to let the group down. When they started November Project, they knew theyd need a similar system for keeping people accountable to the tribe.

I feel a tiny bit of thisan expectation that no one is above the groupwhen Im teased for not introducing myself. But thats nothing compared to what happens to someone who doesnt show up for a workout. For that, November Project has perfected a bizarre, more 21st-century form of establishing accountability: online shaming. This is known as We Missed You.

From November Projects website: If you decided that staying in bed was a better option than working out with your friends (who you promised that youll be there) then your face will be featured here.

Members usually don highlighter-colored sports­wear, stenciled and spray-painted with the logo #grassrootsgear.

By face, they mean embarrassing photos lifted from the shamed members Facebook profile or supplied by friends. Posts go on to explain that this person committed to attending a workoutmade a #verbal, in tribe-speakbut reneged. Screenshots of text messages and emails confirming said #verbal are posted, along with guesses as to why the absentee might have failed to show upanything from you must have gotten too drunk the night before to perhaps you were lost on a Segway tour. Its an elaborate expression of profound disappointment in the offending person, and there are hundreds of examples on the website.

Paddy OLeary, a member of the San Francisco tribe, remembers when he skipped a workout in 2013. A fellow member made him a We Missed You video; he hasnt missed a workout since. Other victims confirm the tactics effectiveness. You look like an idiot for sleeping in when everyone else is having an amazing time, says Holly Richardson, also in San Francisco. Its not worth it.

McCloskey makes no apologies for the policy. November Project is successful because it relies on word of mouth and accountability, she says. If I tell you that I will meet you at the corner of Market and Sanchez to run to November Project, come rain, snow, or dinosaurs, I will be there. In the event that someone sends one of those pathetic just cant do it texts at 5:55 am, we have the right to roast them. And roast we do.

Jake Stangel

Heres the fundamental thing about shaming: According to behavioral psychologists, its not supposed to work. Sure, it might force someone to make a change in the momentcontestants on The Biggest Loser shedding pounds before a national audience, for instancebut the effects dont always last. When your goals, attitudes, or values are shaped by external motivators, its unlikely youll stay satisfied or committed for long.

This is certainly true when it comes to working out. For decades, experts in behavior modification have tried to get people to commit to exercise. So far, nothing has worked, says Jack Raglin, a professor of kinesiology at Indiana University. It doesnt matter if youre paid to exercise, if youve paid to exercise, if you might die from lack of exercisemost people just dont stick it out.

Yet theres an undeniable element of shaming to this latest generation of exercise fads. It may have started with fitness trackers, which made people more aware of their activity levels in relation to othersreach 10,000 steps or your coworkers will know youre a slob. From there, programs began capitalizing on group pressure. In Orangetheory workouts, your calorie burn and heart rate are displayed on a screen. CrossFit posts scores as well, believing it encourages people to push harderand now its in 13,000 affiliated gyms worldwide.

But this motivation strategy, researchers like Raglin and Teixeira suggest, could be as doomed as any other. You may initially want to impress your peers or get your moneys worth, but those considerations rarely lead to true behavior change. If the standard adherence rate for exercise holds, Raglin says, half the people will stop showing up to these classes within a year.

Youd think this would apply to November Project too. After all, the threat of We Missed You is external. But there are some differences. November Project members are not paying anything to be there, the goals arent about burning the most caloriesyet people show up anyway. And many of them have been at this for years, without ever missing a single workout. Its clearly working for some people.

Jake Stangel

True motivation, Teixeira says, takes something extra, something intrinsic. If members of a group think they are gaining useful skills, feel personally valued, and perceive that they have control over their actions, they are more likely to fully commit. Teixeira believes November Project gives you a bit of all these things. And indeed, everyone I talk to seems like a lifer. But then again, I only talk to people who are there. The one real data point we have is that November Project continues to expand. A recent partnership with the North Face aims to help grow the movement.

Jennifer Hurst, an associate professor of health and exercise science at Truman State University, suggests November Project may be succeeding at pulling off a rare thing: positive shaming. It only works when the person truly cares what the shamers think, she says. The desire for social connectedness and the positive feeling some get from the environment must be worth the time, energy, and sacrifice. That explains why the rituals, cultlike as they seem, are so crucial. You dont want to disappoint people you hug, not to mention chant and bounce and dance with.

A number of years ago, Raglin and his colleagues found that married adults who enrolled in a recreational fitness program together had an average adherence rate of over 90 percent, compared to just 50 percent for those who enrolled on their own. The married pair didnt necessarily exercise together or even in the same room, Raglin says. They simply came and left together. Yet the social benefit was quite profound.

That may also help explain November Projects success. Members might not be married to each other, but theyre married to the group. And the group is what holds November Project together.

Jake Stangel

It turns out some November Project members actually are married to each other. At one of my workouts, a young couple tells me they met in the Boston tribe. The movement encourages this sort of thingleaders are expected to host mixers and speed-dating events. The phrase There will be babies appears on the blog and in promo material.

Yes, its all a bit creepy, and I dont blame passersby who look at us funny (there are many of them). And no matter how many times Im told that We Missed You is not about shaming, its about love, I wont be entirely convinced. But you cant deny the smile on these peoples faces. Nobody looks like that when theyre huffing it alone on a treadmill in their garage. I wont be heading up a November Project tribe back home in Santa Fe, but if one comes to my town, I wouldnt say no to a few hugs.

With dawn creeping over the edges of the city, we put our arms around each other and start to bounce. Yall good? someone says, in signature November Project whisper-shout. Fuck yeah! the group whispers back.

Surprising myself just a little, I say it too.

Meaghen Brown (@meaghenbrown) is a freelance journalist based in Santa Fe, New Mexico, and the former online fitness editor for Outside.

This article appears in the July 2016 issue.

Read more: http://www.wired.com/