#because he tries to block a bullet for LWJ

[besanii]

oh god i just saw the angsty shippy prompts you just reblogged and now i have to brace myself for angst for DAYS ㅠㅠ and because your writing always makes me feel All The Emotions i just know i'm going to feel like i've been punched in the solar plexus each time i see (and read, and re-read) an update and its reblogs... anyway i feel like this would be a fun one "i can't always help when you're in trouble" whichever ship you choose! ^^

He wakes to a dull, rhythmic throbbing in his head. There’s an itch on his nose that is growing more and more irritating by the second, but his body feels like it’s being crushed by a dead weight and his arm won’t move. The most he achieves is a tiny twitch of his right hand; it brushes up against something warm, and then he hears a sharp intake of breath close to his ear.

“Wei-xiansheng,” a familiar voice says. “Wei-xiangsheng, are you awake?”

He groans.

“My nose itches,” he croaks. His lips are dry and his mouth feels like sandpaper. “And my throat hurts.”

“That would be the anaesthetic wearing off,” another voice says. “If you’re not feeling nauseous, we can probably get you something to wet your mouth.”

‘Thanks’ is what he tries to say, but it comes out more like a garbled ‘auuaagh’. Nevertheless, a cool, wet cloth is pressed to his lips and he sighs gratefully at the soothing sensation. He opens his eyes slowly once it’s taken away, wincing at the way his eyes seem to have been caked shut; the first thing he sees is a very handsome, albeit very concerned pair of pretty honey-coloured eyes watching him.

“Hey,” he rasps. “Hey, gorgeous.”

A tiny frown appears in between those perfectly shaped brows.

“Wei-xiansheng,” Gorgeous says. He frowns.

“Don’t call me that,” he complains. “You should call me by my name.”

Gorgeous sighs. Put-Upon is a very nice expression on him.

“Wei-xiansheng,” he says again. “How are you feeling?”

“Mm,” he says coherently. “Better now that you’re here.” A deeper frown, and a pressure around his hand. “Ooh, you’re holding my hand. That’s nice. I like that.” He pouts when the hand is quickly retracted, but is rewarded by the adorable sight of reddened ears instead, so he lets it pass. “Fine. I’m uh—dizzy, kind of. Thirsty. Oh—uh, my shoulder hurts?”

“That would make sense,” the other voice says from somewhere on his other side. “Considering that’s where you were shot.”

A woman with a stethoscope around her neck is poking at the tablet in her hand as she studies his chart. She gives him a Look over the top of her glasses as she details the extent of his injuries.

“You were very lucky this time, Wei Wuxian,” she says sternly. “A couple of millimetres off and it would have nicked a major artery. I’m a world-class surgeon, but I can’t work miracles—not if you insist on putting yourself in unnecessary danger all the time.”

“In my defence, Qing-jie, it was completely necessary this time,” he says cheerfully.

Wen Qing raises the tablet over her head as if to smack him over the head with it. Wei Wuxian pouts and gives her his best puppy dog eyes, but Wen Qing does not buy it. She usually doesn’t, but her features soften anyway and she pats him on his uninjured shoulder before she leaves. 

“Don’t let him get out of bed,” she instructs his companion. “Got it, Lan Wangji?”

Lan Wangji nods. “Thank you, Wen-daifu.”

And then it’s just the two of them, in this too-sterile hospital room, staring at each other. The little crease is still there between Lan Wangji’s brow, and Wei Wuxian’s nose is still itchy, but it feels a little too awkward to be taking care of that particular problem now. He clears his throat and looks away with a wry grin.

“Hey,” he says again. “Thanks for today, Lan Zhan. Really. Don’t know where I’d be without you.”

Lan Wangji says nothing, but the hand resting on the sheets beside his curls into a fist. His face is impassive as always, but there is a twitch in the muscles of his sharp jaw that gives away the extent of his displeasure. Wei Wuxian shifts around, adjusting his position in bed and winces at the discomfort in his shoulder still dulled by the effects of the anaesthetic. Being the subject of Lan Wangji’s disapproval has never been a pleasant experience, but it feels different this time.

He stretches his index finger and taps the knuckles of the fist resting beside him.

“Hey,” he says softly. “Don’t be upset, Lan Zhan. I’m fine. Look!”

Lan Wangji’s frown deepens and the corners of his mouth turn down imperceptibly as he drops his gaze to the bed.

“You should not have done it,” he says stiffly. Unhappily. “You were the target, you should have stayed behind me—”

“Aiya, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian says with a click of his tongue. “I couldn’t stand back and do nothing, could I? You could have been shot!”

“And now you’ve been shot!” The force behind his words startle Wei Wuxian into silence. “Wei-xiansheng. I am your bodyguard. My job is to protect you. Not the other way around.”

Wei Wuxian gnaws on the inside of his cheek and looks up at the ceiling. The tiles are plain and white, as sterile as the rest of the room. It makes his skin crawl.

“I didn’t want you to get hurt,” he says finally. “Not for me.”

“That is my job,” Lan Wangji reminds him. He sighs, frustrated. “Wei-xiansheng, we’ve been over this. Your personal safety should be at the forefront of your concerns.”

“Your brother tells me to leave the worrying to you,” Wei Wuxian says with a wry grin. “That as long as you’re here, I’ll be in safe hands. Or is that not true?”

It is clearly the wrong thing to say, because Lan Wangji’s knuckles turn white and the sheets crumple and twist beneath his fingers. He’s shaking so hard the bed begins to trembling, just slightly, but enough for Wei Wuxian to feel it rattle. He opens his mouth, ready to placate him, but Lan Wangji is faster.

“We cannot protect you if you do not protect yourself first,” he bites out through gritted teeth. “You keep—throwing yourself into dangerous situations without thinking. It was pure luck that you weren’t hurt, or killed any of those times before—”

“Well, not just luck. You’re just really good at your job,” Wei Wuxian interjects. He shrinks under Lan Wangji’s glare, chastened. “Sorry, please continue.”

Lan Wangji exhales and relaxes his grip on the bedsheets.

“I’m doing the best I can to protect you,” he says in a small, defeated tone that weighs heavily on Wei Wuxian’s chest. “But I can’t always be there. I-I can’t always help you when you’re in trouble, Wei Ying.”

Oh. Realisation hits him like a tonne of bricks and he lays there, craning his neck against the terrible pillows, looking at Lan Wangji. His shoulders are slumped, his head bowed; there are dark circles under his eyes and the faint hint of stubble along his jaw, a far cry from his usual crisp, professional demeanour. Wei Wuxian grimaces as a wave of nausea hits him, although he’s not sure if it’s due to the anaesthetic or the guilt churning in his stomach.

Lan Wangji is there immediately, the hurt on his face replaced by concern. 

“Is the wound hurting?” he asks. “I will call Wen-daifu—”

“No, no don’t,” Wei Wuxian says quickly, grabbing onto his hand before he can leave. He feels Lan Wangji’s hand jerk beneath his as if to pull away, and is grateful when he doesn’t. “I’m sorry.”

He chances a look at Lan Wangji and finds his honey-coloured eyes wide and his mouth soft and open with surprise as he stares down at him. It lasts only a second before it disappears behind a mask again, but it’s enough to send his heart tripping over itself and blood rushing to his cheeks. He looks away, chewing on his bottom lip.

“I didn’t mean to worry you,” he continues, staring determinedly at the railing on the other side of the bed. “I just…I didn’t even realise I was moving until I was, you know? I saw the gun pointed at you and my body just…reacted.”

He laughs, blinking back sudden wetness in his eyes.

“I just didn’t want to see you hurt,” he finishes quietly.

He doesn’t dare look at Lan Wangji to gauge his reaction, but he hears the sharp intake of breath and feels the hand in his shift. It turns over and returns his grip, engulfing his hand in a warm, gentle grip.

“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji breathes. “Wei Ying, look at me?”

His eyes are warm and gentle, tinged with sadness. He lifts Wei Wuxian’s hand and clasps it in both of his, bringing it to his cheek and brushing his lips over the knuckles. The brief contact sends tingles rushing down Wei Wuxian’s arms and his heart does an involuntary little flip. And then Lan Wangji smiles, no more than a tiny little quirk at the corner of his lips, but it is enough to send his heart rate skyrocketing—which is embarrassingly reflected in the sudden spike on the ECG machine still beeping away merrily by his bed.

“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji says softly, the words ghosting over his fingers. “I don’t want to see you hurt either.”

The matter-of-factness in his tone fills Wei Wuxian with a warm, fuzzy feeling he’s quite sure does not relate to the anaesthetic. He offers him a sheepish little smile and strokes his thumb over the back of Lan Wangji’s hand.

“I’m sorry,” he says in a small voice. “I won’t do it again.”

Lan Wangji huffs.

“Yes you will,” he says with a hint of fondness in his voice. “But thank you.”

Notes:

xiansheng (先生) - Mr

daifu (大夫) - Doctor, nowadays used mostly as a title suffixed to a doctor’s name, rather than referring to a doctor in general (which is yisheng 医生)

This is set in my old Bodyguard AU verse from that prompt list that went around a while back. Uhhh...set somewhere between #2 and #3 probably. But you don’t really have to read them to understand it?

// buy me a ko-fi //

[theghostisametaphor]

Got up to episode 25 of Untamed and viewing’s been kind of sporadic and piecemeal for the last week or so but let me just make another bullet list because that’s the best way to convey my thoughts apparently.

Wen Chao’s Evil School for Hostages seems so long ago. those were the good times. so many people weren’t dead. also my god he was so bad at his job. let’s uhhhhh drag all the hostages along to a random cave. things got bad? uhhhhh yeah let’s block all the hostages up in the cave and let them die or whatever. i mean, it’s not like we needed them for anything.

Wen Zhuliu was not paid enough. actually i’m not sure if he was paid at all, but whatever it was it wasn’t enough. i don’t think it’s possible to be paid enough to babysit Wen Chao. 

still delighted abt how fanficcy the whole ‘oh no we’re trapped in a cave for several days, there’s nothing for it but to wallow in sexual and emotional tension’ thing with LWJ and WWX was. also i appreciate that the show was like ‘you may feel the need to watch an amv at this point, but don’t worry, we already put one together for you.’ just an entire fucking music video for the two of them smack dab in the middle of the episode.

he sang him a song

killing a tortoise monster together! just fun couple things.

in all seriousness it’s been so - emotional in a way i didn’t expect to see Lan Wanji getting to be The Love Interest and treated as desirable when he’s low verbal/nonverbal pretty much 24/7, and touch averse, ‘i don’t like people touching me when i don’t know them well’ was such a mood, and usually if there is a character like that, the message is that you have to stop being that way in order to have a relationship or be loved. so yeah. important. 

so the family situation at Lotus Pier was - tense. good to know where all the kids got their Issues from.

Madame Yu was such. an asshole. cool whip though. 

so the show just really tried to break my heart into pieces in the aftermath of losing Lotus Pier, huh. Jiang Cheng is my son and he is not allowed to cry like that, it’s not okay! none of them are supposed to be that sad! 

Wei Wuxian sort of managing to hold it together until Jiang Cheng disappears again and then finally starting to lose it. Freaking out over not knowing whether to trust Wen Ning or not, decision-making ability going to shit, visibly being unable to control his emotions, paranoia etc. 

was really painful, but also really good? idk, it’s just really cathartic to see so many nd-coded characters going through Bad Stuff in ways i can relate to and understand. 

poor Jiang Yanli being like ‘WWX, i already have one brother who can’t get out of bed bc he’s melting down so badly, please do not put yourself in the same state because of hyperfocusing on ‘I Can Fix Everything If I Just Read Enough Books And Also Never Sleep Again’.

(yeah i have some feelings about Jiang Cheng maybe being autistic, which i’m kind of nervous about bc it’s not something i’ve seen other people mention like adhd WWX, or autistic LWJ, but. it’s something i keep coming back to).

Wei Wuxian having that moment where he forgets that Cloud Recesses burned and then being like ‘oh i know! i just need to find Lan Zhan, he’ll help me fix this!’ was just - ouch. 

Wen Qing + Wei Wuxian friendship! research pals!

ditto Wen Ning + Wei Wuxian they’re both so good.

i’d been spoiled for the golden core thing beforehand, so i knew what was going on when WWX was like ‘hm, maybe i know how to fix this’, and that just made it more emotional, honestly. i cried a lot. 

Xue Yang cameo! 

i feel so bad for Jiang Yanli, like ‘yes dear sister we will absolutely always stay together and nothing shall come between us’ i say as i knock you out with sleeping powder so i can send you off in a carriage without involving you in this decision At All. 

i know why you do it, Wei Wuxian, but my god. i would develop severe trust issues. 

Jiang Cheng’s face when he gets a golden core back. tears.

i find it incredibly funny how we just take a brief moment to say ‘oh yes, anyway, there was also this entire military campaign going on while the Yunmeng kids were missing from the main plot. it had a cool name. lots of badass weapon waving. would you like to see Lan Wanji looking very attractive while stepping on a Wen flag? of course you would. anyway back to the important stuff.’

have a lot more ground to cover but i’m getting tired and also have some chores to do so just gonna leave this here for now, and finish catching up to 25 in another post.

(when will the rabbits reappear though, i was sort of disappointed that they didn’t show up in their little rabbit headbands to fight the Wen during the Cloud Recesses battle).

[thewickling]

WangXian+ wwx is an assassin whose mission is to kill Lan Wangji

I don't know if this counts as happy? But I tried!

Ideas:

WWX is hired to kill LWJ but on seeing LWJ feels like something is off and he ends up dropping the hit.

He runs into LWJ and LSZ a while later and both of them drag WWX home.

WWX finds out he is the missing adopted second son of the Jiang family.

Since WWX is declared dead, LWJ lies and says WWX is his boyfriend from overseas as they try to figure out 1. why he lost his memory and 2 why someone wants LWJ dead.

Wei Wuxian watched Lan Wangji through a scope. His finger off the trigger, not that it mattered he hadn’t loaded a bullet into the gun. 

Lan Wangji walked down the street, wearing slacks and a button up. His hands hands carefully carrying a case for his guqin. Two highschool students run up to him chirping excitedly despite the fact Lan Wangji maintained a stern expression and did not return the teasing.

Something about this hit smelled fishy. He had always been good at deluding himself. Telling himself stories about what he did until his memories lost clarity but that Lan Wangji was a good man who did not deserve death oddly felt like the truth. 

Lan Wangji had a sincere face. That never stopped Wei Wuxian before. Dozens of “good men” had skeletons in their closets. Lan Wangji, though, did not just look like a good man. The classical musician donated most of his money to charity. The amount of his salary that didn’t to paying for an overly modest lifestyle went to the family business.

A business that was suspiciously clean for its size. 

Wuxian wasn’t here to judge. Except following the clean-cut man with his scope, he wondered who could benefit from killing the second son of Cloud Recesses Inc. 

If someone wanted to tank the Cloud Recesses, it would be better to take out the Lan Xichen, the president, or Lan Qiren, the VP. So this hit had to be personal, most hits were.

Wei Wuxian always looked into his clients. You never wanted to work for someone who would turn tail and cause trouble. Or more idiotically be a rat for the government. Su She was neither of those things. A small-time company head of a shell company for the Jin family. The two had attended the same school for a short people before Su She had transferred out. 

Lowering his gun, he bit his lip.

Maybe he was getting soft if he was overthinking a hit so much? Maybe he should get out of the game before this softness got him killed. It wasn’t like he started killing people because he enjoyed it (not that he could remember why he started in the first place). Returning the deposit wasn’t difficult and he certainly had enough money stashed away to wash his hands clean. 

He never intended to meet Lan Wangji. Strange, he always had a problem recognizing faces but Lan Wangji’s stuck around his head. The phoenix eyes, straight nose, and proud mouth formed a handsome man. In another lifetime, he would have been a scholar with the elegance with which he moved. He should speak similarly, Wei Wuxian thought.

His delusion was shattered when he sat in a cafe, trying to figure out what he would do with his life now that turned a new leaf.

“Wei Ying!” 

He sipped his latte. The liquid went down wrong and he saw who was approaching him. 

“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji repeated, pushing through the bustling cafe.

“Excuse me, do we know each other?” he smiled, plastering as much innocent as he could into his expression.

His expression clouded over. Searching for something in Wei Wuxian’s expression, his frown deepened. “Return with me.”

He jerked his head back. His throat still sore from the coughing. “What relationship do we share? Why would I go with you?”

“Baba!” The teenager he had seen with Lan Wangji the other day popped up. If Lan Wangji had a pure face, this teen had an innocent one. “Why did you run…”

His mouth dropped at the sight of Wei Wuxian.

“Return with me.” Lan Wangji repeated, reaching for Wei Wuxian’s hand.

He shifted back.

“You’re alive.” The teen threw himself at Wei Wuxian, giving him no option but to catch him. His embrace was tight and overly familiar but Wei Wuxian reflexively returned it. 

“What is going on?”

“Sizhui.”

The teen shifted around, reluctantly releasing Wei Wuxian. Red rimmed his eyes giving Wei Wuxian the impression this should have been an emotional reunion. His heart squeezed even though his brain drew a blank.

“My surname used to be Wen,” Sizhui said in way of explanation. 

“And?”

“My birth name is Yuan.”

Biting his lip, Wei Wuxian’s heart tightened more. His brain ran and ran without any connections made. 

His expression grew grave. His mouth trembling; he asked, “Do you recognize me?”

He shook his head slowly. The weight of Sizhui’s disappointment weighed down on his movement. 

“Return with us.” 

Lan Wangji successfully captured his wrist. If not for his confusion, Wei Wuxian could have easily dodged. It was that confusion mixed with curiosity that convinced him to follow the two home. 

Lan Wangji was 100% a second young master. His apartment was not the penthouse but it overlooked the city from above. The open-area was spacious and bright. 

Wei Wuxian sat on a white couch that matched the white walls. The coffee table in front of him was glass and instead of a TV mounted on the wall, there was a series of scrolls filled with calligraphy.

“So, Young Masters why am I here?” He smiled, angling his head to the side. 

Lan Sizhui’s eyes darted between Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian.

“When I was young, you sheltered my family,” he said, softly. “I remember you used to tell me if I stayed in the sun I would grow to be strong and tall. That if you planted me in the earth, you could grow me friends.”

“That doesn’t sound like me.”

Wei Wuxian had a bad memory but he couldn’t have forgotten rising a child could he? 

“What my relationship with?” He waved his hand in the direction of Lan Wangji.

“Everyone knows the two of you are like water and oil.”

He blinked. Certainly if he had seen a face as handsome as Lan Wangji’s he would have remembered it. 

“Wei Ying.” Lan Wangji stepped closer. His fingers grazed his cheek. “How is your memory so bad?”

“My mother always told me forget what you have—”

Lan Wangji followed along with him. “done for you and only keep in mind what others have done for you.”

“How do you know that?”

“You told me that,” Lan Wangji. Sitting down, he continued, “You left A-Yuan with me and said dangerous people were after you. Then you disappeared.”

Sizhui jumped in. “Jiang Cheng has been searching for you. Everyone thought you died. Where have you been?”

“Um… around.” Something unpleasant grew in his chest. If he had done as they said he had, then had he taken care of the danger yet? Would meeting with now bring the danger back to him.

He stood up. 

Wangji immediately blocked his path. Throwing his arms around Wuxian in the same boggling matter Sizhui had. His embrace was like a dying man holding onto driftwood. 

“I should leave.”

“No.”

Instead of being released, he was squeezed tighter. His face was forced into the crook of Lan Wangji’s collar. A clean, almost cleansing scent hit his nose. 

“Not allowed to leave.”

“What baba means is you should stay here. It is safe here. We can—”

“I came here to kill you,” he exclaimed, pushing Lan Wangji away. For a musician, he was strangely fit. His broad shoulders were firm against Wei Wuxian’s touch.

“Stay.” 

“Don’t you understand? Whoever you think I am, whatever connect I have to you, I am not that person anymore. I was hired to kill you.” 

“Stay.” 

“Young Master do you know how to speak?” He threw his hands in the air. “I am leaving and you have no right to st—”

“I do not care. Stay. Please.”

Somehow those words calmed  Wei Wuxian down. Something in the determination behind in tone broke his protests into shreds.

“That doesn’t change the fact that someone is going to hire someone else to kill you.”

“We can deal with that together, but first we should bring him to the doctor.”

The doctor gave Wei Wuxian a clean bill of health. Stepping out into the hallway, he saw Lan Wangji speaking to a nurse. He quickly found Sizhui and lowered his head.

“Are Lan Wangji and I a couple?”

Sizhui squeaked, drawing Lan Wangji’s attention. 

Covering his mouth, he pointed at Lan Sizhui: “be quiet”.

“No. Actually, no one knew the two of you were close. Uncle Xi and Granduncle Qi were surprised you left me with him or that he keeps trying to find you.”

Wei Wuxian frowned. If we aren’t lovers, why is he so determined to keep me by his side? Why did he lie and say I am his overseas boyfriend?

-

If they weren’t lovers before, Lan Wangji certainly treated Wei Wuxian like his spouse now. The innocent looking man was quite overbearing, demanding that they share a bed so that Wei Wuxian would not slip away at night. 

He rarely spoke but he always touched Wei Wuxian. A hand always rested on Wei Wuxian’s shoulder, the small of his back, on his waist. 

Wei Wuxian should have been offended after all of the two of them were men of the same stature but it felt nice. After living alone for the last decade or so, isolating himself from others due to his line of work, each subconscious touch was a treat. 

He wanted to be the person deserving of Lan Wangji’s protection or Lan Sizhui’s concern. 

He wasn’t worthy but he wanted to be. 

He couldn’t though until the men threatening Lan Wangji were gone. 

He knew what he had to do.

-

No one was supposed to be in Jin Guangyao’s office today. This was supposed to be a clean hit. Take out Jin Guangyao and then leave. 

Of course Jin Guangyao would try to escape after all of his crimes were revealed but why did he have Lan Xichen.

So why did Jin Ling suddenly appear and knock into Wei Wuxian?

Why did Xichen break free only for Jin Ling to be captured?

Why did things have to go wrong again?

Lan Xichen stared at Jin Guangyao. His eyes wide at the knife in his hand. The edge pointed at Jin Ling’s throat.

“Why?” his voice trembled.

“Why did I kill Nie Mingjue or why did I order someone to kill your brother?” His voice was proud despite the way the edge of that question quivered.

“I trusted you.”

“What was I supposed to do? The bastard son of a whore.” His mouth twisted. “Nie Mingjue held me under a microscope. Listening to him would have me killed or worse powerless.” 

“And your brother, if I knew he loved Wei Wuxian I would have made his disappearance better, so your family would have not suffered,” he sighed. “But I didn’t and he keep digging and digging and digging. He just got too close to the truth.”

“Uncle, it hurts.” Where Jin Guangyao’s knuckles met Jing Ling’s shoulder, it was white.

“Where is Lan Wangji anyway?” 

“Why are you asking me?”

Jin Guangyao cocked a brow. 

“I didn’t tell him I was coming here.”

“I see. I am going to leave now.”

“He’s your nephew.” Xichen shouted.

“I know. As long as everyone behaves, I’ll release him when I get out of the building.”

He edged to the door, forcing Jin Ling to open it. Before he stepped outside, a large vase came down on his head. Jin Guangyao hit the ground with a thud.

Lan Wangji rushed in followed by Jiang Cheng and Nie Huangsang. Gathering Wei Wuxian up in his arms, he clung to Wei Wuxian.

All the words that he resisted sharing before spilled from his lips. “Lan Zhan, I want to share a bed with you. I want to wake up in the morning to your meals. I love you. I love you.”

Lan Wangji froze. 

“I want to share a bed with you. I want to make your meals. I love you.” He repeated. 

-

Wei Wuxian’s memories slowly returned after Jin Guangyao’s arrest in bursts and lurches. All the times he teased Lan Zhan growing up. All the times he childish tried to draw the handsome man’s, then boy, attention. All the ways Lan Zhan seems unapproachable that made him want to approach even more. 

He also knew why he forgot. It made it easier to hunt down the people who wanted to harm A-Yuan if he tricked himself into believing he was an assassin rather than a rowdy second young master of the Jiang family. 

He repeated the lie so many times he must have hypnotized himself. He buried his memories of his adopted family deep along with his memories of being a spoiled brat. 

Turning his memories over now, he saw what his arrognant younger self did not. Lan Zhan paid him too much attention and he chased Lan Zhan unreasonably for two people who were like water and oil. They must have always been attracted to another but young to realize it. 

If it took looking at Lan Zhan like a stranger to realize the affection they had for another… it wasn’t that Wei Wuxian was grateful. It was a more complicated feeling than that. 

If he had realized he loved Lan Zhan sooner, he would have still given him A-Yuan. He would have ran and killed everyone that tried to wipe out all of the Wen family. As immoral as the majority of that family, the survivors were innocent and he had a debt to them to repay. 

He had Lan Zhan now and A-Yuan and the three of them formed a family he never thought he would have. He wasn’t worthy of Lan Zhan’s devotion but if he did no other good deed in his life, he would always try to be.