#because i dont drink a ton of caffine all the time

[tipytap]

i may have done what we in the professional world call “a bit of an oopsies”

[makingnewenemies]

making of the AL video...

There was a time in my life when I swore I wouldn’t make a music video because they “always made the song worse for me”.  Yeah I changed my mind... 

I’m feeling a nice combo of caffinated and nostalgic so I will write write write until it comes times for me to get on a train to Seattle... 

Making the Always Leaving video was one of the most fun projects I’ve worked on, for obvious reasons. I drove from Portland to Orange County by myself in a

 long lunatic drive where I kept screaming “overcome!” to myself when I’d start to doze off at the wheel.  Crawford flew in and we started filming in our hometown of Newport Beach, CA in the early morning, worked our way through LA, quick stop in Carpenteria and Santa Barbara (kinda regretting skipping Ventura), then pulled off and watched the sunset from a dirt road on the crest of a hill where we spent almost an hour trying to film this flying bat in the purple dusk (never got a good shot of it smh a waste of lots of gb’s). We pulled into SLO after dark and parked downtown on Higuera and stood outside the van drinking some of those pocket shots you can buy at the liquor store. After a couple we walked around the downtown bar scene filming myself standing idly infront of all the dressed up college crowd. Scantily clad party girls surrounded me as I stared blankly into the camera and we told them we were filming a video for Plain White Tees. They loved that. Some dude did a backflip. None of this made the video except a brief moment where I stand in bubble gum alley. We parked the van that night in Los Osos on a little dead end road by the bay water. I recall taking a piss in the trees and thinking about how much I miss SLO and how much of a gem this area is, then tried to fall asleep amongst all the camera cords and charging batteries and Crawford sprawling out on our futon bed as if he’s never shared a bed before. In the morning we tried to get drone footage of Montana De Oro at sunrise but the drone that my brother lent to us would come crashing down after a minute in the air and I wasted a beautiful sunrise cursing technology and nursing my bruised Go Pro. We drove over to Morro Bay and at last I got to surf underneath my beloved Morro Rock and the waves were fun that morning and smelled fishy and of course that Morro Bay ocean smell brought me back to my SLO years where I’d sit on my board staring up the coast at Cayucos contemplating Kerouac and Portland. Big Sur was grand of course but it was a hazy cloudy day and we’ve seen it better. Still the video gave us an excuse to explore some side roads and find views that we’d never seen in Big Sur before. Crawford was instagram messaging with some Big Sur instagram famous dharma yogi rainbow warrior and we thought she’d take us somehwere special but alas she stopped responding and we had to get to Santa Cruz. I saw my old pal Kurkjian and his crew in Santa Cruz, and while our shots of the boardwalk are nice they dont represent Santa Crux to me and I wish we’d gone elsewhere for our establishing show like Steamer’s Lane or that Taco Bell downtown that gets rowdy late night. Well that drive on the 1 from SC to SF is awfully gorgeous and we caught some epic norcal coastal sunset footage just north of Davenport, then met up with my brother Riley for some Chinese food in SF. I remember being so exhausted I began dozing off at the dinner table then we went home and filmed an action skit with Nerf Guns only to wake up to some news of a shooting... dont remember which shooting this was...doesn’t matter... Crawford immediately deleted his snap chats of our shoot out. My brother always brags about how he’d bomb the hills of Outer Sunset on his skateboard all the way to the beach so we decided to try it. We skitched on the back of his room mates truck to the top of a hill and down we went with Crawford filming from the truck bed. To my surprise my brother had become a really great skater and it was me who was speed checking every 20 yards or so. We got the shot, and I told Crawford that we’ll have to find a couple second clip where I actually look cool on the board and not constantly slowing down and looking for traffic. I still can’t believe how my brother would shoot through those SF intersections without taking his eyes off the ocean horizon below. Well we got some coffee at this toast and coconut place called like Trouble or something that my girlfriend and I heard about in a podcast. It was a whatever hyped place but a ton of friends came out to meet us and we had a pretty nice morning chatting and enjoying the Sunset district’s chillness. I was being a bit too casual as I suggested we all walk to the Mollusk surf shop and Crawford grew anxious and cranky because, he was right, we needed to get back on the road. So there’s that classic shot of the asian tourists with the selfie stick on the golden gate bridge and we were off into the big question mark of a landscape that is the Cali Coast north of SF! And jesus oliver christ once you get above Stinson Beach that norcal coast is just about as desolate and beautiful as you can get! We got epic shots of the dilapidated Point Reyes ship yard and cemetary at dusk and that shot of the whale mural through the fence is one of my favs (mostly cause of a specific Dick Diver lyric) and we arrived in Mendocino after dark where we took refuge in this mountainy dive bar that had a huge smelly moose head on the wall and uploaded our footage and charged batteries until the staff kicked us out and we slept in the van and woke up to that spanking gold coastal sun and I pissed in the tall green grass I was so happy. Well it was this last section of the trip that truly felt free and American frontier little boy with no rules exploration euphoria. We stopped in Legget at this roadside bar and grill where the custodian (clearly on meth or some upper) showed us around and told us all about the big country festival they have in the summer and how he brings girls back to his RV (covered in moss and parked in the trees behind the property) and how he has 12 different facebook accounts all with different aliases because you never know who is watching you. Then a few miles down the road we pulled the van off by a river and we jumped in naked and I laid out naked on this log that was sticking up and that warm bark on my back just about let me die right there and I jumped back in the water off this log and the footage of that is really not flattering... and on our way back to the van we came across this huge uprooted tree with a sort of hide out built out of it’s underside with all sorts of feathers and crystals and animal skulls aligned in patters like a Pagan shrine or Wicchan execution ceremony and it was legitiately spooky enough that we didnt stick around to get footage I dont think. Anyone who’s driven the 101 up here knows that Big Foot themed pull off with all the giant wood carvings and all sorts of mystical norcal souveniers. It was here I bought my coon skin cap and ya that was the moment I wished we could never go home and just romp around these mountains and coastline looking for adventure forever. I ate that bag of Famous Amos cookies all the way to Arcata where we met up with our wise philosopher friend and girlfriend for some basketball and bison viewing. She took us to some remote beach and for some reason we were all about to get naked but we decided to trek further up the coast to catch one last sunset shot. We stressed hard about that sunset shot when in reality we had plenty of sunset shots already but we needed that ONE GREAT SHOT to finish out the video. We didnt get anything epic except, cleverly I think, we pulled off to some beach and Crawford got that clever shot of my standing on the rock with my homemade alligator bumper sticker in the foreground and BOOM that was pretty much it. From there we took the north east pointing highway (i forget what number it is?) that goes through Cave Junction (spooky interesting place we should go back and explore) towards Grants Pass. We got that final shot of the Welcome to Oregon sign which we needed to conclude the whole vid and we stopped at a Denny’s for dinner around 2 AM. After that I blasted a bunch of old punk records and raced the 5 hrs back up the 5 to Portland to get Crawford to work ontime at his 6 AM radio gig. I dont remember what I did after that but I am assuming I slept and then went to nanny the kids that I was nannying at the time. The end!

[11oct]

today is friday i have absolutely nothing to do. i am currently wasting my time, despite of tons of messy document on my desk. all i able to think is home. but i get court session to attend tonight at my university. with given no option, i have to go back to my uni which is damn far from here (15 mins span from my home).

it’s been a week since i aint return home, i only realized until my roomate asked my whereabouts. at least someone is worrying. if my parents know my real condition and my daily routine here, they would be damn worried. i dont lie to them, i didnt tell a certain part instead. both are different.

 my boss wanted to suprise one of my colleague by raising his salary, but my colleague suprised him first by giving him resignation letter instead. this is damn hilarious. because we know what actually happening it this firm that the superior unaware about.

i went to the pantry and made coffee, i am not a coffee lover but in order to keep me awake, caffine doesnt work on me instead. my sleepness knows no boundary. speaking of drink, i only drink fruit tea, any of fruit. but without milk. my current favourite is season fruit tea, at japanese cafe, where my ima works. i usually wait for ima, while drinking tea because i aint big fan of cheese or matcha. ima’s supervisor and manager are damn kind, they are chinese. i learn to insult in chinese since i am a fast learner --

a few thing i learned here, people who work in services sector or first sector, they sacrificed time. they even work during labour day just to provide services for people who upper than them in order to live comfortably and better. you know what i meant right? i usually went out from that mall when all the shops already closed. that time you see people who works behind and unrecognized, the cleaners clean the whole mall like mopping the floor etc, i am one of that ass who walks on the wet floor. don’t underestimate workers like this, respect them instead. imagine if all of us are rich, no one’s willing to that and also equivalent to if you are working in a particular firm, if you are superior, people who put you on the top is your staff. they are your backbone. once they gone, you will definitely sink to the bottom. just be nice ok? my point is in generally. dont get butthurt and idgaf.

my content is a bit mess, because i dont know how to properly write. but this is my damn virtual journal, so that’s it.

may 4th,2018