#because i like the taste of plain noodles :v

[pastelsugar6w6]

put in the tags something odd you do with food 

[bts-trans]

221224 Big Hit’s Tweet

[네이버 포스트] V, 김태형, 세계미남1위 화보 구경 let's go… (@ https://naver.me/FwAG1QTR)  #BTS #방탄소년단 #V #김태형

[Naver Post] Looking at the pictorial of world’s no. 1 handsome man, V, Kim Taehyung, let’s go…

Naver Post Translation

Keep reading for a plain text version of the blog post! For a picture edit version, please check out our twitter post or the HD version on our website!

Title: [BTS] Me, Myself, and V 비하인드 포스트

Me, Myself, and V Behind Post

아-하!

Hi-A!

(T/N: Stands for ‘Hi ARMY’, which is how Bangbell always starts these posts.)

안녕하세요 아미들! (- -)(__) 방��이가 정말로 빠르게 돌아왔습니다,, (?) 이번 포스트는 바로바로! 12월 Special 8 Photo-Folio의 마지막 주인공이죠!

Me, Myself, and V ‘Veautiful Days’

의 비하인드 포스트로 찾아왔습니다 !

Hi ARMYs! (- -)(__) Bangbell returned really fast,, (?) This post is! The last star of December’s Special 8 Photo-Folio!

I’ve returned with the behind post of

Me, Myself, and V ‘Veautiful Days’ !

V만의 취향이 가득가득 들어간 이번 화보는! 유럽 중세 시대의 무드를 V씨만의 #감성 #MOOD 로 더욱 멋지게! 표현해서 더욱 관심이 많이 가는데요!

This pictorial is filled with V’s taste! And this had V’s #Vibes #MOOD of the European Medieval times, which makes it even more cool! and makes it more interesting!

4가지의 컨셉이 다양하게 표현된 이번 화보의 비하인드 포스트? 못 참지 당장 올려 사진 고르다가 모든 컷을 다 쓰고 싶었다는,, 방림이의 마음,, 아미들은 알아줘,,

This behind-the-scenes pictorial expresses 4 concepts in a diverse way? Cannot wait, upload it already Bangbell’s wants,, to use all the photos,, while trying to pick photos,, ARMYs please know that,,

중요한 건.. 아미들.. 가보자고...!

The most important thing is..not wanting to stop the shutter.. ARMYs.. let’s go...!

의상은 클래식 그잡채인데 얼굴은 화려함 그잡채인 남자 등장. 이번 화보에서 기획뿐 아니라 액세서리, 촬영 소품 등 디테일한 부분까지! V의 손길이 안 닿은 곳이 없다고 하는데요,,! (못하는 게 뭐야 진짜)

The outfit is classic in itself* but the man who’s face is magnificent in itself* appears. In this pictorial, not only the planning, but also the details like accessories, props etc! There isn’t a thing that V’s hands didn’t touch,,! (There’s nothing you can’t do, really)

(T/N: *Bangbell uses ‘그 잡채’, which translates to stir-fried glass-noodles. It sounds similar to the expression '그 자체' which translates to 'in itself'.)

뭐야. 뭐야. 뭐야. 이 남자 뭐야. 지금 방림이한테 프로포즈 하러 오는거 맞지맞지 ㅋ (겠냐)

What is this. What is this. What is this. What is this man. You’re on your way to propose to Bangbell right now, right right? Ha (You think so)

어쩜 다 찰떡인 아이템들을 소화시키는 건지 약국에서 이제 소화제 못 팔아 곤란해... 내 이 남자 때문에 힘들다..

How did he pull off all those perfect items Digestive medicines cannot be sold at pharmacies anymore, it’s complicated... I’m having a hard time because of this man..

- 잘생긴 사람이 잘생긴 사람 보는 중 - 모니터링도 꼼꼼히 해주고요..!

- Handsome person is looking at handsome person - Monitoring thoroughly..!

천사야,,?

Is he an angel,,?

갑자기 장꾸곰���이 등장

Prankster bear appears all of a sudden

촬영 중간 신나는 노래에 흥이 터져버렸따..! 귀여운 모먼트까지 놓칠 수 없다구

Excitement overload from upbeat songs that were playing during filming..!   Couldn’t miss the cute moments as well

사람이 이렇게 생길 수 있는거임? 이 남자한테는 일어날 수 있으니 각오해라

How can a person look like this? It could happen to this man, so be prepared

기절 작렬,, 왕자님이 왜 여기서 나타나요,,

Faint explosion,, Why is a Prince appearing here,,

숨 참고 셔터 누른 방림이 ㄴ 삐빅 정상입니다.

Bangbell who held breath and clicked the shutter button ㄴ Beep it was normal.

귀여워.. 귀여워....!!!! (냅다 소리지름) 언제까지 귀여울거야...? ㄴ 평생 ㄴ 그게맞지

Cute.. cute….!!!! (shouting out loud) How long are you going to be cute for..? ㄴ Forever ㄴ That’s right

주목 꽃 사진 잘못 올린 거 아님

Attention I didn’t upload the flower pictures by mistake

나 이제 잘생겼단 말.. 그만하고 싶다. 김태형. 치면 자동검색어로 잘생겼다. 알아서 나와줬으면 해..

I want to stop saying.. he is handsome. I wish when you typed ‘Kim Taehyung’, the word ‘handsome’ would also come up in the automatic search..

(방림이가 좋아하는 모먼트도 살짝쿵..) V 손 안좋아하는 사람.... 없잖아.. 그렇다고 해줘 아미들..!

(Moments Bangbell liked are shown briefly..) There isn’t anyone…. who doesn’t like V’s hands.. Please say yes ARMYs..!

아 그리고,, 마지막으로,, 방림이가 아미들에게 선물로 준비한 사진이 있거든요,,

Ah also,, at last,, There are photos that Bangbell prepared as presents for ARMYs,,

마무리까지 완벽하다 (???) (자화자찬)

V만의 감성 가득한 Special 8 Photo-Folio Me, Myself, and V ‘Veautiful Days’ 더 많은 모습들은 포토북에서 만나보도록 하자구요!

Wrapped it up nicely (???) (self-praise)

Special 8 Photo-Folio Me, Myself, and V ‘Veautiful Days’ that was filled with V’s aesthetics Let’s check out many more in the photobook!

아미들 추운 날씨 감기 조심하구.. 방림이는 또 다른 콘텐츠로 돌아오도록 하겠습니다! 다음에 만나요! (붕어빵 사 먹기 약속..ㅋ~)

ARMYs please be careful to not catch a cold.. Bangbell will return with other contents! See you next time! (Promise to buy Boong-eo-ppangs*.. ha~)

(T/N: *‘Boong-eo-ppang/붕어빵’ is a Korean pastry that is fish-shaped bread usually with cream or red bean fillings.)

아-뿅!

A-Poof!

(T/N: Short for “Bye ARMY! Poof!”, which is how Bangbell always ends these posts.)

[Note]

본 포스트는 BIGHIT MUSIC 에서 직접 운영하는 포스트입니다.

This Naver Post account is personally run by BIGHIT MUSIC.

[End Note]

Trans cr; Annie) | 
Typeset cr; Chika @ bts-trans © TAKE OUT WITH FULL CREDITS

[honey-milk-depresso]

Stuck with Heartslabyul

I also procrastinated on this for so frickin’ long. I made two other series of being home dorm quarantined with other TWST characters like Octavinelle and Savanaclaw which you can go read if you want! I hope you enjoy this one! ^^

Riddle Rosehearts

He still somehow carry out his dorm leader duties-

Let us shed a tear for this young boy-

also there is from head to toe neatly

V e r y  neatly 

placed in order

organized files, books, documents-

What tf is this an office or a dorm room?????

well whatever-

He thinks that this is the perfect opportunity to bake things.

With you!

Well, truthfully he can’t really bake as well as Trey but he tries,

and if you are by his side baking,

he feels a little bit more confident, and a lot more happier!

Unbirthday parties can’t be carried out since

ya know,

no social contact :’)))

so, he’ll just have daily unbirthday parties with you!

And lemme just tell you,

after so many hours of baking,

he’s getting the hang of it-

And you realized he’s actually really good in setting a tea party atmosphere.

Like he knows how to arrange the teacups,

he prepared frickin’ napkins my lord this Ciel Phantomhive kid is extra-

But not going to lie, 

It’s really pretty the set up.

AND HE GOT THEM ROSE PETALS ON THE TABLE-

EVERYTHING IS ARRANGED SUPER PRETTY-

Buuuut, his baking still needs some work going-

D A N G THO-

“RIDDLE, THAT’S A LOT OF SUGAR-”

“Oh? R-really? Didn’t it say 5 tablespoons?”

“You poured 5 whole cups-”

“Ah-”

Trey Clover

Listen,

being stuck with Trey is the best option-

He bakes

A SHIT TON OF PASTRIES-

And I’m not saying he baked a lot of pastries equivalent to how much he bakes for unbirthday parties-

Oh no non no-

It’s frickin’ thrice the amount-

THE ENTIRE ROOM SMELLS LIKE EVERY SWEET PASTRIES OUT THERE-

He experimented a lot-

From baking macrons, chiffon cakes, frickin’ candy art-

You are blessed when you’re stuck with him, s/o-

seriously-

“Holy shit Trey, what is that??”

“Oh, I’m just carving the chocolate.”

“Honey, that looks like you just created Van Gogh shit, that looks fancy and really hard to do-”

“Sugar, I’ll make your food look and taste like ‘Van Gogh shit’ for you anytime.”

“OH MY SHIT YOUR SO SWEET, I CAN’T-”

Cough cheesy Trey cOuGH

And he’s like a housewife not gonna lie-

he wakes up earlier during quarantine surprisingly, 

maybe cuz he always finish schoolwork MUCH earlier now-

and he doesn’t have much to carry out as Vice dorm-

so he wakes up early,

and cooks frickin pancakes whatever delicious shit that comes to mind for you to eat for breakfast

cbdhidcchnff hnf

W H A T-

Also brush your teeth after you finish eating-

Cater Diamond

Man-

Cup noodle game is strong-

Unhealthy, yes-

but you do all sorts of things with it,

to which he’ll always post on Magicam.

Like you guys make curry instant noodles,

salad with the dry instant noodle bits for salad toppings--

list goes on my dude-

bruh-

and not only that, 

he posts all those like daily life at home (or in this case his dorm room-)

and he’s gonna be posting about E V E R Y T H I N G

From what you both had for breakfast, what you guys did at 3 pm,

Every. Second. Of. Being. Stuck. With. You.

B R U H

“CATER, I LIKE SOME PRIVACY-”

“I know, that’s why I’ll post it in my private account which is my diary btw~”

“First off, your private account has like at least 1000 people in it, secondly, buy yourself an actual book diary, and thirdly, I’m liTERALLY IN THE TOILET WITH UGLY ASS BAGGY PANTS TRYING TO FIX THE LIGHTS-”

“BUT BABE-”

Because of this incident, you bought him a plain writing book online.

You know he wouldn’t like writing with a lot of words,

soooo

Scrapbooking! *Cue the glitter filter*

he has so much fun!

Decorating, pasting all the photos he took with you and printed them out.

He loves it so much! Being stuck with Cater is productive and maybe a little tiring, but hey! Works for the both of you!

Deuce Spade

This boy-

Oh my god-

He’s absolutely so sweet and adorable-

I can’t-

He’s not the best, he knows,

sometimes he wonders why you would ever want to be stuck with him-

but this man puts in more effort than he can to make sure you are comfortable during the pandemic time-

like his cooking went from a C to S class dear-

Although they are egg based dishes, there is

A  w i d e variety in each dish-

And it really tastes good-

But you can tell he’s really tired trying to perfect his dish,

he wished he was Trey my lord-

DONT EVER THINK THAT BBY

YOU ARE PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE VSJVSWEADFGFHFTYKV-

Cuddle him please,

every day at every hour at every second just pleaseeeee

he needs it-

and he wants it-

but is just shy about it-

GIVE HIM THE CUDDLES-

ahem sorry-

continuing,

he surprisingly took up knitting and wanted you to join in after browsing online for more recipes to which randomly stumbled upon knitting basics videos

So arts and crafts time!!! ahh children-

He knits a very simple cloth at first-

which escalated to become scarves, blankets , mittens, sweaters like-

w o a h

Grandma Deuce-

and he also found these charity organizations who sold homemade products online to collect money to raise funds to give to people in need.

Let us put it as it’s not a scam website.

Soooo he published some of his hand made scarves, blankets and sweaters online-

And I swear this man is so sweet I can’t-

“Well, we have to do something to help these people! And they’re giving us a chance to give them our support!”

YES DEAR U ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT

YOU ARE GONNA BE MODEL STUDENT EACH YEAR-

He also used the first handmade blanket he knitted with you as your official sleeping blanket.

With shit tons of cuddles.

Being stuck with Deuce is honestly just so sweet and wholesome.

Ace Trappola

This idiot-

This absolute h e a t h e n-

I just wish you good luck man-

He just absolutely LOVES to prank you.

“ACE WHAT THE FUC-”

“What the fck what?”

“YOU PUT THIS WATER BALLOON ABOVE MY DOOR DIDN’T YOU?!”

“Huh? What makes you think that?”

“WE’RE LITERALLY THE ONLY ONES IN THIS ROOM WHAT YOU MEAN HOW WOULD I FCKING KNOW-”

You just gotta survive by pranking him too.

Also this man-

LOVES

G A M E S

And not just video games,

Oh non no no-

Hide and seek, chase-

ya name it.

At every hour-

You also play virtual UNO with the whole Heartslaybyul gang sometimes-

“WTF GIVE ME A GREEN-”

“AHAHAHAHHAHA-”

“Riddle, lower your microphone level-”

“TREY SHUSH, I’M NOT LETTING THAT ACE BASTARD WIN, SO I WNT THIS STUPID CARD DECK TO GIVE ME GREEN-”

*Pulls a green card*

“FINALLY!”

*You put in the green reverse card*

*Switch back to poor Riddle lmao*

“NOOOOOOOOO, WTF GIVE ME A GREENNNNN-”

“AHAHAHA NICE ONE S/O-”

Cuddles

every night-

moving on,

He’s also the type who will make memes of the two of you when being stuck together lmao-

As for food-

either take out or you cook-

He cannot be trusted with the kitchen-

he can’t take one step in it no joke-

All in all, being stuck with Ace is really just crack level head energy soraing through the sky with his love dovey antics.

[oh-boy-me]

Casual Outfits Discussed

@themarchinghare Ok >:3c

These hot takes analyses and opinions are based entirely on the concept art of the demon brothers’ casual outfits.  So any in-game features not present in the concept art aren’t discussed.  We’re looking at the outfit as a whole, but occasionally we do talk about individual features.

Also please don’t take this seriously, we just had a lot of fun shitting on the Seven Power Avatars of Sin, Rulers of Hell Itself™’s questionable fashion sense.  I would still die for these boys, terrible taste in shoes or not.

Participants in the discussion were

Jo ( @jodaneko ), my roommate and an art major with storyboarding and character design experience

Justin ( @justinlester0629​ ), my go-to fashion expert for at least a decade and very possibly a future male model

Noodle (Me), untrained eye and resident fashion decade disregarder

With the exception of a few choice quotes, our thoughts and conclusions are all mixed in with each other.  Quotes are mildly paraphrased.

Lucifer:

The colors are good; the blacks and grays are all in the blue-gray family, and there’s a pop of color with the gold belt and red vest.

But he paired a black suit with brown shoes????  SIN

“You should always match your belt with your shoes and those shoes are not gold.” —Justin

Justin on the coat: “I love it, the pattern of the inner lining is throwing me off but it’s not bad, and the fur is perfect because it’s associated with power.”

Me on the coat: “I don’t know about you but I bet that coat looks dumb as shit if you put your sleeves through it.”

WITHOUT the coat though his cuffs scream “I am dealing for blackjack and rolling craps.”  Lucifer looks like he could walk into and out of a casino whenever he pleases and everyone would assume he works there.

“Dress shirts don’t work like that.  He got a size too big.” —Jo

The belt isn’t doing anything functionally, but it’s very important because it balances things out from being too top-heavy.

Out of the belt, shirt cuffs, and coat cuffs, two of them should have matched.

We’re nitpicking because in general it’s a good design.  Lucifer has no taste in shoes but that aside is capable of dressing himself.

Mammon:

“That’s western Danny Phantom if I’ve ever seen it.” —Justin

Very nice coat 10/10 would wear.

The colors are odd, he mixes black and brown too, but the other colors mixed in makes it work in a cute way.

“The only things that clash are the shirt and jeans, he could replace the gray shirt with either a black one or a lighter one to match the boots.” —Justin

He’s got a cat toy on his belt.  I admire his preparedness for feline encounters.

The cat toy also balances out his rings nicely, since the toy is on his left hip and the rings are on his right hand.

The yellows in the shades, belt, and cat toy are placed very nicely and are the best part of the outfit.

Honestly except for the shirt color and the fact that fur-lined boots are out of style we don’t have much bad to say about his design.  Mammon’s casual outfit lives up to his model career.

Leviathan:

“Ugh, god.” —Justin

The headphones don’t match with anything, and ever color he’s wearing is so bright they REALLY don’t match.

Headphones aside he chose ok colors to supersaturate, but also like, supersaturation is very very loud.

It kind of looks like he bought two different tracksuits and forgot they were two different outfits.

The pants don’t match themselves.

“He color coordinated his pant cuffs and his shirt and thinks it makes it ok.” —Jo

The jacket itself is nice, the pins are really good and I appreciate that they’re opposite the stripes in his shirt.

Justin hates the gray stripe though because it looks like either part of the jacket or a girl scout sash.

“That shirt should not be collared.” —Jo

“The shoes look like what Kanye West would design but if they were sold on Wish.” —Justin

It’s kind of just… he took the RGB color wheel and went with it.  It’s just loud.  If he just changed some colors he’d be fine.  Leviathan please I have hope for you.

Satan:

“He looks like a gay prep school person.” —Justin

Satan wore 100 shades of green and said “yes this is peak fashion.”  And you know what, it objectively sucks but I’m kind of living for it?

Rip off jeans that can’t actually be ripped off because of the VERY stylish belt?  Iconic.

Green deep v-neck sweater over a gradient t-shirt and a jacket with the sleeves too short, this man only shops at Goodwill.

The one-shoulder jacket look gives the outfit some personality and I’m really glad he isn’t wearing it properly because looking at it alone I wouldn’t be caught dead in that jacket.

“While good for the design, it’s a mix between business and athletic and I’m not sure how I feel about that.” —Jo

(Jo also said some jackets are designed with sleeves like that but with the color choices it’s just… not good.  Justin pointed out that the sweater and jacket do match though.)

The chocolate loafer-style shoes take away from the rest of the outfit.

“Any other shade of green besides Crayola green would have been better for his nails.” —Justin

Listen it’s so bad it’s good, Satan’s fashion sense is “blue-green.”  We basically ripped into it the whole time but I’m pretty sure it was the universal favorite.

Asmodeus:

“Just from the back he looks like a cool dude and then the front of him screams douche.” —Jo

Asmo’s outfit is actually ok, but he has one fatal flaw: If he takes off his jacket it’s way too plain, but with the jacket it’s kind of too much.

It’s also kind of confusing, because it looks both casual and formal from different angles.  “I’m not sure I like the cut in the front with the t-shirt showing underneath.” —Justin

The shirt is nice but a color that contrasted his skin more would have been nice.

The pants are killer, and the white stitching matches the jacket really well.

The gold accents on the jacket are also good and would match the belt really nicely if the belt wasn’t some ugly mustard color.

This boy is wearing mustard belt and ketchup pants.

Inoffensive shoes which is really the best I can ask for with these boys.

“The scarf.  I like it, but I’m not sure how I feel about it because there’s just so much going on with both it and the jacket.” —Justin

“That’s not a scarf, it’s too long.  It’s like.  A really long strip of cloth.” —Jo

Anyway all in all there’s a little much going on in the front but it’s one of the better looks, good job Asmo.

Beelzebub:

Justin looked at the picture and immediately put his phone down.

“First impression is he looks like Naruto if he got his head lodged in Doritos.” —Justin

“He looks like he’s the carpet of the arcade portion of a skating rink.” —Jo

“He shouldn’t be wearing orange tones.” —Justin

Legitimately we were at a loss for words for a considerable time.  We just kept staring at it.

To start he’s got a lot going on but it feels like he looked in the mirror before leaving his room.  Not saying he did the best job but at least he looked at himself.

The jacket alone is great, but why is it fur-lined?  It throws off the urban design.

But finally some good fucking shirt.  We have mixed opinions on the triangles (I like them, Justin doesn’t but appreciates that the pattern continues on the back) but all like the cut.

Living for the necklace-bracelet combo.

Jo says the biggest problem is that there’s color-matching but in weird places and not enough of it.

Jo hates the pink belt and Justin hates the green suspenders; we concluded that one of them should have been excluded.

His choice in sneakers is not as bad as Levi’s but still not very good.  The laces shouldn’t be green.

This sounds like a lot of complaining but if he cleaned up the belts and ditched the fur it’d be a fine look.

Belphegor:

“Oh shit oh god.” —Justin

“The top half is for sleeping and the bottom half is for riding.” —Jo

Absolutely disgusting, mustard yellow pants tucked into brown lace-up combat boots?  Disgusting.

The shoes alone are nice but the mustard pants don’t work at all.  There’s no cutoff between blue and mustard.

Also he has really broad shoulders, just noticed that looking at this.  That has nothing to do with this but it does affect how his cardigan sits on him.

I personally would wear that cardigan, a hooded cardigan?  Everything I’ve ever wanted.

Justin pointed out that the button lining is weird, and the inside is a weird contrast with the pocket.  He’s right, but I think it’s an endearing mess.

Why do I look at him and feel like he needs to do laundry?  I think it’s the t-shirt.  It would have been better as a collared shirt, taking the hood off the cardigan in return.

You can’t convince me the avatar of sloth laces those boots every day, he sleeps with his shoes on and that’s a worse sin than sloth.

“The pillow’s not part of the outfit?  Oh thank god.” —Justin

Jo said we were being too mean and that it’s not the worst outfit out there, and from the waist up they’re right.

But damn Belphegor the condiment war called and they want the bottom half of their uniform back.

[victakestaipei]

WEEK 4 RECAP: “Power, Chase Bank Complaints, and TYPHOON SEASON”

As I stated in my previous posts, I’m really really really sorry for the delay here on my WEEK 4 RECAP. Granted, my weeks have started to become pretty routine; But I still like to keep my word with you guys and blog every weekend, despite the topic being my humdrum weekdays.

Anyway, let’s get to it:

Monday: 

My monday was one for the books, honestly. I stayed in bed all day long blogging and doing homework and just being a bum. It felt awesome. We got in from the Philippines early this morning, and I didn’t actually get in the bed until about 4am, so I took the liberty of playing hooky, and NO RAGRETS! 

I only left the house to get breakfast with Bunny... We went to this breakfast joint by our house and I splurged on an egg scallion pancake, a breakfast sandwich, orange juice, and a hash brown patty. It was bomb, but who am I kidding, it’s always bomb. I didn’t end up doing my homework until later in the evening, which ended up backfiring because I had SO MUCH HOMEWORK TO CATCH UP ON. It was actually pretty insane, but I still got it all done. For dinner Bunny and I picked up some potstickers from the place right outside our dorms that you all have already heard SO much about because we literally go there multiple times a week. Like I said in my intro... HUM. DRUM. 

Tuesday:

Today we went to the bakery before class, I had my daily tea, and barely survived the 3 hour period. After class we went to the gym, and I did leg day today. My legs were shaking so much, it was like they had turned to jelly over the weekend. I think this is due to the fact I took 4 days off🙄 but I managed to get my mile down to 8:30 today!!! Y’ALL!!! BASK IN THE GLORY!!! Progress!!! Slowly but surely!!!  

After the gym we went to a restaurant on the Shi Da market for lunch, and ordered fried chicken curry with rice and veggies. It was super good, and only 100 NT! (About $3.35 US).  

Afterwards, we went home and I took the longest shower ever, and then a nap (I really really needed it). I got up just to do homework, and then crawled back into the bed. I found a website that lets me watch Power online so that I can FINALLY catch up to the new season. BLESS UP!!! I started watching this show over the summer, but then I got caught up with other stuff so I never caught all the way up. I last left off on Season 2 Episode 7, but I heard the new season 4 is BATSHIT CRAZY so I need to catch up PRONTO. (Also, can I just take a minute and say I freakin’ hate Angela??? Ugh. Tasha is a ride or DIE and Angela comes waltzing in and I’m just mad as hell. Ghost is such a punkass. I literally cannot deal. Let me shut up while I’m ahead before ya’ll comment and spoil something for me.)

...He still fine as hell though... :-’)

For dinner we went to the Gong guan night market to get Gua Bao (remember those pork hamburger things from my “WEEK 2 RECAP” post? “Gua Bao? Gua BOMB!”) and egg scallion pancakes. We didn't leave the house until after 11pm, so alot of our options were closed at that point. 

Wednesday: 

I actually got up on time to head to the bus, and I was WELL RESTED!! Wow, such a rare occurance. In class I got a 95% on my dialogue quiz today. I’m getting used to pulling these A’s, but our lessons have gotten significantly harder so I find myself reviewing the characters twice as much as usual. Ew.

At the gym I did chest/shoulders/abs. I wore the wrong leggings to the gym today... I wore my normal black leggings instead of my work out leggings, so I didn't do cardio because I didn't want to be all sweaty in my normal cloth leggings... I don’t know I'm weird I guess?? But my ass was looking PHAT at the gym since I had normal leggings on hehe

After the gym Bunny and I tried this Italian spot by our school. They have a lunch menu where you can get a dish AND a side for 99 NT!!! (3-4$ US). What a deal!! I ordered pesto penne pasta and pumpkin soup as my side. Pretty plain, but still super yummy!

After lunch I went home to shower and do my homework and relax. Bunny and I got dinner around 9 because we were STARVING more than usual. I guess the soup and pasta didn’t do it for me. We hopped on the bus to head to Gong guan, but we missed our exit so we ended up taking the bus all the way to our school to go to the Shi Da night market there. MIND YOU I LOOK LIKE A CRAZY CAT LADY. I twisted my hair up and put on two bandanas after taking a shower and putting product in... and I had on a long flowy printed dress I got from the Philippines. Needless to say I looked crazy, in my shower flip flops. We got the soy sauce noodles to-go, with green beans, udon, cabbage, broccoli, and tofu. I also got to chat with my mom on skype tonight which was nice, after struggling to get her speakers to work (for like 20min) so she could actually hear me. I stuffed my face while on the phone with her, and she cheekily said “how come whenever I get you on skype you ALWAYS EATIN??” Then proceeds to laugh hysterically and say “you gonna regret it!! It’s gonna go straight to your hips!!!” ......So charming *eyeroll*, gotta love her lol.... 

I went to bed super late because I had the migraine of a lifetime. I think it might have been because I didn’t get a tea this morning... Caffeine headaches will be the death of me.

Thursday: 

I woke up with the same migraine, and was moving slow because I was so tired and my head was banging!! It was like the drummer guy from Whiplash was putting in WERK on my forehead. I was about 10 minutes late to class... I tried to rush because I knew we had a test in class, but I just couldn’t bring myself to get out of the bed on time. Kokoro (the Japanese student in my class) and I rode on the same bus to class, he was late too because he had gone clubbing last night! On a Wednesday??... Turns out, it doesn’t matter what day of the week it is here, it’s lit at the club every night. 

Class was good today. It didn't feel like it dragged as much. But, I was starving the whole time because I didn’t have time to grab some food before strolling into the class. Our teacher referenced the upcoming typhoon today! Meaning, it will be pouring, dumping rain all next week, starting this weekend. There will also be fierce winds. She told us how many people stay home and grocery shop a lot beforehand because transportation and a lot of businesses are closed. For those of you who don’t know, a typhoon is basically a hurricane. I'm not mentally prepared. Our teacher said that typhoon season lasts three months, starting in August. I’m nervous about the food aspect because we don't have a fridge in the dorm so I'm about to be eating perishables all week... canned beans and rice? God, I’m not excited. But maybe class will be cancelled a few days this week? A girl can dream!!!

In the gym it was leg day yet again! My legs weren’t half as shaky as tuesday so that’s good. I ran a 8:45 mile, after almost DYING on the first treadmill I hopped on. I was adjusting the speed and the treadmill skipped and I almost flew the fuck off. My arms were flailing and I let out this loud/awkward noise and everyone was looking at me. I caught my balance and didn't die, but I definitely quietly turned off the machine and moved to another treadmill shortly after. I think that messed up my mojo because while I was running I was constantly paranoid of the same thing happening on the machine next door. 

After the gym the three of us went to Shi Da market. I pulled out cash from the ATM but was pretty bitter about it because I looked at my bank statement and my bank (Chase Bank) charges a $5 FEE WITH EVERY NON-CHASE ATM WITHDRAWAL that I make... THAT ADDS UP?!!! Are u kidding me??! I’M BROKE AS IT IS CHASE, CUT ME SOME SLACK!!! I'm so salted. I hate Chase Bank. They suck ass. Do you know how many WITHDRAWALS I’VE HAD TO MAKE WHILE HERE??? I need a Charles Schwab account because it seems like they’re the only bank not trying to PLAY US.

I tried a new place for lunch where they had these small fried dumplings. I would show a picture but I inhaled it so fast that I didn't get to. So here's a picture of the box...hehe

I also got some more dragonfruit today    V   so so good.

After the gym I came home, showered, and relaxed. I ended up napping around 8 and woke up at like 10:30pm... I did my homework in class so I'm probably just going to eat something small and crawl back into the bed. I got a banana at the Family Mart convenience store and some apple juice and a pack of yan yans. Yan Yans are those pretzel stick things that come with the chocolate dip and they’re super good?? I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. I talked to Karis on the phone, and then Paris shortly after that. It was SO GOOD to see Paris’s face and hear his voice after so long. :-’) I miss you roomie!! I knocked out again after hanging up with him.

Friday: 

This morning I woke up to a power outage on our Gong guan campus. If this is any tell of how the rest of the weekend/next week is going to be with the upcoming typhoon, I am not ready.

I got a 99 on my quiz today... I. AM. HURT. It was so so close I could taste the perfect score!!

Today I brought my umbrella to class because the typhoon starts this afternoon/evening. Class breeezed by because there was only 7 of us today. It was back day at the gym, and it was great! I’m definitely going to be sore. And I did some booty workouts on the floor afterward. After the gym we went to Gong guan market (the one by our house, not the Shi Da one by campus) to get some food and look for a SIM card for Bunny’s phone (so that she can have a local phone number and consistent data). We stopped and got pork buns and mango before heading home. 

When I got home I finally was able to decompress from the long week. I relaxed for a few hours before leaving the house at 10pm to go to the grocery store with Bunny. When we got to the grocery store, it was about an hour or so before closing, and it looked like the apocalypse hit. All the shelves were sweeped, but we got some food to get us through the weekend.... Like wine and rice and potatoes and eggs and snacks. After the grocery store we headed home to relax and shelter away from the upcoming typhoon.

Saturday: 

I made breakfast this morning after finally leaving the bed at 1:30 pm. I made eggs and papas!! - An old fave. (Jaylene I miss you). I also cut up some apples too to eat with peanut butter. It was good, but the papas weren't up to par because I only had two seasonings... Sad day. 

The rest of the day was spent in bed, watching Power and being a couch potato. At 8:30pm our power went out again, but only for a few minutes. It was getting pretty crazy outside at this point. You could hear the wind howling and tree branches swinging and water pushing its way through the cracks in the closed windows of the bathroom/bedroom. 

At 9pm is when I spilled my Pink Moscato on my laptop. HOW COULD SOMETHING SO SWEET BETRAY ME SO HARSHLY?? My computer immediately died after letting out this depressing noise and became completely non-responsive...and so did I. I was on the brink of a meltdown. To keep from succumbing to panic, I put my phone on DND and went to sleep at 9:30pm. I literally knocked the hell out. That’s the best way to avoid problems/conflict right? Take ya ass to sleep.

Sunday:

I woke up by 4:45/5am, and reality set in. I spoke to my mom on the phone, and she helped calm me down and rationalize the situation. I was a mess. I still am a mess. I cannot afford a new computer right now, and I'm nervous about going to get it fixed because I don't want to be taken advantage of, and I wouldn't know the difference either way... I'm clearly foreign. But I have 8 years of memories and information stored on this laptop, so I'm not letting it go without a fight. I called a few places that claim to fix Apple products on Google, but none of them turned up with any real answers. So after 12pm, I ended up going to the Apple Store at Taipei 101. I took a quick shower and brought a bunch of stuff I figured I might need: my laptop, external hard drive, a flannel, umbrella, towels, a hat, and snacks. I've never been outside when there was a typhoon brewing so it's better safe than sorry right? As soon as I walked outside I could tell something was off. There weren't a lot of people bustling about, and there were countless fallen branches and leaves covering the sidewalks and roads.

I hopped on the bus, and then the MRT, to head to Taipei 101, the tallest skyscraper in Taiwan. I had this lingering thought in the back of my mind... let me illustrate... “Is it a good idea to go to the tallest sky scraper in Taiwan when there’s a hurricane with strong winds/ pouring rain just waiting to happen?”... All i could picture is the structure toppling over with all of us inside and causing this huge disaster, similar to something straight out of an Apocalyptic movie like 2012.... Anyway, I arrived just before 1pm, and come to find out, the Apple Store is CLOSED. I’m salty. All the lights are on and the store would otherwise look open, it's just that there's no one inside. It's completely empty. Even all the devices on display are powered on. It was kinda errie... Like those paper towns the military sets up, where it looks like a normal town and everything, just no one lived there...  I looked online (again) and went to their actual website where it says today (and only today) they open at 2pm instead of 11am. So I just waited around the mall for an hour until they opened. I found a bench and an outlet so I was just sitting here chilling....Glad I brought my snacks. ;)

When the time finally came to go back to the Apple Store, that overwhelming feeling came rushing over me again. I ended up crying like a PUNK to the customer service lady. So annoying!!! Ugh. I was a fragile mess. I spoke to two different managers who both spoke perfect English, and they helped to reassure me that they would try their best to help me. I have to come back tomorrow for a walk-in appointment with the Genius Bar. Fingers crossed they can help me, or at least retrieve/save my information. 

I left Taipei 101 feeling pretty defeated, so I got some McDonalds on the way home... I know it sounds silly but I needed comfort food and something that felt like home. I ordered the filet o fish (which I crave daily), with fries and a coke. This was not my best moment, but the whole meal only cost 95 NT!! (Less than $3.20). CRAZY! 

I came home and that’s when I started reading my book that I keep mentioning, “You Are A Badass” By Jen Sincero. It helped me to feel better and get into a better frame of mind. 

I took a break from reading to help Bunny make curry for tonight’s dinner. It was BOMB and came out fairly well if I may say so myself. I’ll definitely be making curry more often when I come back to the States.

I finished reading my book just before calling it a night. SUCH a good read I cannot stress this enough!!! I learned so much from Jen’s words and she adds funny stories/anecdotes and the way she describes things is just so relatable. If you have a chance to read it I definitely recommend!!!

I went to sleep pretty late, I was laying in bed catching up with Jay (via text) and other friends from back home. Before closing my eyes, I decided to practice meditation, which is one of the key concepts in the book. I wasn’t very successful the first time, because it was hard to clear my mind and just be still. I know it takes practice, so I’m going to try to dedicate time every day to meditate for at least 5 minutes! Feel free to join me on this challenge, it’s supposed to reap unprecidented benefits!

Also, please pray that when I take my laptop in tomorrow to the Apple Store they can fix whatever’s wrong!!! I need all the prayers I can get. I’m speaking it into existence now: MY COMPUTER WILL LIVE. IT WILL RISE AGAIN. IT WILL POWER ON.

Until next time,

xoxo

[whifferdills]

for @kibblesnbutts who wanted whouffaldi fluff with swimming. i may have given Clara my exact childhood trauma, but really isn’t that what fanfiction is for?

Twelve/Clara, Teen for Implied Stuff and Kissing On the Mouth, ~1.2k words

Come quick, the Doctor yelled.

Clara pulled her mobile away from her ear and winced. "Is everything alright?"

Just come. Follow your GPS, I've done a clever thing to it. Chop chop.

The TARDIS obligingly parted its walls for her, laying down corridors as she jogged deeper into it, following the blinking path on her mobile's map application.

Two minutes and a few bursts of feedback from the speakers later, she skidded to a stop in front of a plain grey door, the placard reading 'POOL'. She braced herself and pushed the door open.

It was a swimming pool. She wasn't entirely sure what she'd expected. She stepped gingerly out onto the wet tile as the ship sealed herself back up.

There was something moving in the water. She panicked, briefly, before the darting, almost preternaturally graceful creature popped up, coughed, splashed around, and swept the hair plastered to their skull into a spiky mess.

"I thought it was an emergency," she said. "Remember what we talked about? Different sorts of important and how to communicate which one of them it is?"

"Yeah, sorry." The Doctor tread water, grinning widely. "It's just. I'd lost this! Been missing for ages. And now it's here. Swimsuits are in the - wherever, over there?" He didn't bother to point.

"Thanks, but no thanks," she said. She took her shoes and socks off, rolled her trouser cuffs up, and walked carefully over to the edge of the pool, sitting down and dipping her toes in experimentally. Of course there was a pool. Not enough to have a lake and at least twenty bathtubs, any good time-space ship obviously needs an entire, slightly-grimy, rec center pool.

It might have been just her imagination, but it felt like the TARDIS was winking coyly at each other.

"Not gonna join?" the Doctor yelled.

She shook her head.

"Too far away to interpret facial expressions and gestures, sorry."

"Nope!" she yelled back. She watched him slide back under the surface and sort of ooze his way towards her. Whatever bizarre thing he was doing with his body, it was oddly beautiful.

He came back up a few meters away from her. "Are you, you know." He waved an arm expansively, splashing her and briefly sending himself under.

"Use your words."

"Shy," he said, rolling his eyes and gracelessly spitting out water. "Because you weren't last night, and you were fine, I suppose, body-wise I mean, but anyway I remember all. Of that, and this would be nothing new."

She was torn between wanting to blush and failing to connect anything at all about the previous night with the drowned rat currently bobbing around in front of her. Third option: evade the situation entirely. "It's not that."

"But it's something, yeah?"

"Mmm." Evade, stay noncommittal, eventually he'll get bored and forget about it.

The Doctor sighed and sort of slid, like an eel, to the edge of the pool, and hauled himself out onto the tile - probably not much like an eel. Eventually he managed to get into a sitting position next to her, legs dangling in the water. He plucked gingerly at the fabric of his tragically old-timey striped swimsuit, where the legs ended halfway up his thighs, apparently rearranging his own modesty.

So much squelching. Again, she had - done things, with this man. Thing. Person. He scrubbed at his hair until it popped back into something vaguely resembling its normal poof.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"No."

"Okay." He nudged her leg with his foot, possibly meaning it as a comforting gesture.

"I just don't swim, right?" She might want to talk about it.

"Right-o." He edged closer to her, and to her credit she didn't flinch at his clammy moistness getting all over her dry clothing. "Scared? It's all right if you are, large bodies of water are terrifying for a wide variety of reasons."

She turned and glared. "I'm not scared. I'm just not any good at swimming. So I don't." She turned back, watching the ripples reflect on the wall.

"Clara. Clara. Look at me."

She looked, after a measured pause. He had the most awfully earnest expression, staring directly but softly into her eyes.

"You're not any good at most things-"

"Oh, my god."

"-But you do them anyway and that's one of the things I lo...uh, like. About you. So." He gestured at the pool. "Do it anyway."

She sighed, he shrugged. They sat in companionable silence, the splish-splash noises of the Doctor kicking his feet back and forth echoing.

"It's just the smell," she said abruptly. "The chlorine. Reminds me of being twelve years old and awkward and - human children can be cruel."

"Humans don't have a monopoly on cruelty," he said softly. She got the sense that he was staring at her again.

"Had a swimming unit in P.E.," she said, zoning out slightly, half-aware she was sharing a level of information she might later come to regret. "All my classmates quickly passed the test to be able to swim in the deep end. Took me months. The instructor very kindly let me know that I just wasn't shaped right for swimming. Too short, too...I dunno."

"They're all probably dead by now, if that helps." He popped his index finger in his mouth then held it up in the air. "Definitely all dead. Barring some bizarre robotic enhancements or advanced cross-temporal movement."

That did not help in any way. He gamely tried again.

"You can float, yes?"

She nodded.

"So there you go. That's all swimming is. If you can successfully not drown, then you're well on your way. And it's okay to be bad at things. I've never been good at much, and look at me."

"I thought you weren't supposed to be my role model."

"I'm not. But that's a different argument, right. Don't - stop changing the subject. The important thing is that I've finally found my pool, and I'd like for you to enjoy it with me, if you want to. Or if you'd rather go find your childhood tormentors and torment them back, we can do that instead."

"I'm good on the tormenting, but thanks."

He smiled, and she bit her lip to keep from smiling back, and then she kissed him. It was nice, even if he tasted like chlorine and was wet and slippery in a not-fun way.

"Pool noodles," he said breathlessly, staring at her mouth. His eyes flicked up to hers, and then down to the ground. "Also flotation devices that look like animals. And a slip 'n' slide, I think, though that one seems a little dangerous. And a floating bar, with margaritas, although I forgot the salt, so."

She kissed him again, deeper this time. "I'll take one of those floating animals," she said, leaning back and watching the pink flush spread up and out to his ears.

He grinned, and snapped his fingers, and then she was astride a miniature elephant-shaped floatie in the middle of the pool. A small motor buzzed somewhere inside it, pushing her gently forward.

"Last one to the bar gets a margarita with no lime because I only remembered to bring two of those and I may have been here for a while," the Doctor yelled.

Clara flipped him a V, then revved her elephant and spun around in the direction of what she hoped was the bar. She wasn’t above using all available resources to win. Besides, a margarita wasn’t even really a margarita without lime, and she’d more than earned a refreshing beverage. She tossed a wink over her shoulder, and squeezed the elephant’s ears, and zoomed headlong into the breach.

[borderlinebrendan-blog]

Pick your own adventure #1

So for my choose your own adventure, I knew that I wanted to do a piece on Malcolm Gladwell.  Malcolm Gladwell is my favorite speaker.  His voice will soothe me to the core, and help me think deep about life’s greatest questions. He runs a podcast called Revisionist History, and I think I’ve listened to every episode.  I’ve also listened to everything he’s ever uploaded to YouTube, like interviews and TED talks.  I listened to one the other day but wanted to listen to it again today from back in 2004 when he talked about Howard Moskowitz.  

...

So the TED talk starts up, and the music plays, and this bushy-haired, suit-wearing, thin looking man comes out and says “Hi, I’m Malcolm Gladwell.”  He doesn’t look like his voice, but that’s okay, because his voice is incredible.  

He’s talking about Howard Moskowitz who was a psychophysicist who had graduated from Harvard. Once he graduated, he set up shop in New York doing consulting work.  Basically a psychophysicist, as explained by Gladwell, is someone who measures and counts things.  

Gladwell goes on to talk all about how Moskowitz gets hired by Pepsi to make a diet Pepsi, but they don’t know how sweet to make their Pepsi.  They’re stuck, and they need someone like Moskowitz to help.  He does research, and finds out that everyone who took the survey has wildly differing opinions then what he thoughts. Instead of a pretty bell curve of data, its all over the place.  

Pepsi says “screw it” and picks a number of sweetness in the middle, but Moskowitz is annoyed by this.  

So much so, that he becomes obsessed with it.  After years of thinking, he comes to the conclusion, that there is no perfect Pepsi, but perfect Pepsi’s.  

After that, he gets hired by Vlasic Pickles, and they want to make the perfect pickle.  He says there is no perfect pickle but there are perfect pickles.  Thus they come up with the Zesty Pickle, which he essentially came up with.  

The next client he had was Campbell’s soup, who owned Prego.  Prego was suffering against Ragu in spaghetti sauce sales. Malcolm then goes on a side note and says that Prego is better, because they have better adherence, meaning the sauce doesn’t all float to the bottom like Ragu does, but it stays on top of the noodles, because they have a better tomato paste, better spice mix, and are a higher quality overall.  

But Prego was dying, and they reached out to him and asked for help.  He said okay, and went and made 45 different pasta sauces of all varying types.  

He took these sauces and went across the country and did people testing and let them taste the different sauces on pasta, and after each person tried to the sauce, they rated it on a scale of 0-100.  He brought in tons and tons of people to do this over the span of multiple months, and came back with loads of data.

After looking at all the data, he narrowed it down to three categories: people who like their tomato sauce plain, spicy, or extra chunky.  Campbell’s saw this and said “wait a minute, people like extra chunky?” 

There wasn’t any extra chunky sauce being sold at the time, and so when they went in and reformulated their brand, and made extra chunky sauce, they made $600,000,000 over the course of ten years on the new brand, and the sauce took up popularity right away with consumers after it was introduced. 

Howard Moskowitz just explained elaborately through Malcolm Gladwell, that consumers have no idea what they want.  

Next Gladwell talked about coffee, and gave a quote from Moskowitz that said that applying universal truths to the food industry is doing yourself a huge disservice.  He said that if you put everyone in a room and made one coffee for everyone, that everyone picked and agreed on, the score for that coffee would 60-100, but if each person was put into different groups, and different coffees were assigned to different groups, that 60 would boost up to around 75-78. Gladwell goes on to explain that that might not seem like much but 15 or so points is the difference between somebody wincing when they take a sip, or taking a sip and becoming deliriously excited.  

The truth to this Ted Talk is that people are super different, and not everybody is the same, but moreover people don’t know what they want to buy.  In focus groups for Prego over the 70′s and 80′s people were asked what they wanted in a tomato sauce, and people said they wanted plain and simple sauce, but in the hearts of 1/3 of the people sitting there, they knew they wanted an extra chunky sauce, but they would never admit it.  

Here’s the talk. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIiAAhUeR6Y