#because i pre ordered that book and ive owned it since the day it came out. and this summer i reread the first one

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Tell me more about this book blanket? I'm Fascinated

Omg yay!! Okay so I'm knitting two rows per book that I finish in 2024, and each book rows will be a different color based on the genre it is

So here are the books I've read so far. Everything that's in bold is what I've knitted, and the last book on the list is what I'm currently reading but haven't finished yet. So I've knitted everything before Fifty Feet Down, and read everything up to Annie on My Mind, but I'm currently like thirty percent through it.

I'm choosing colors as I finish genres, and I'm trying to do it only with yarn I have (cuz yarn is expensive and I have a lot of yarn. The reason I have a lot of yarn suitable for a blanket is because I took all of this yarn from a blanket I started knitting four years ago and never finished. Like I finished frogging that blanket yesterday and made it into cakes on my new yarn winder!!) I didn't really try to make the colors fit the genres. I just own a lot of navy yarn and knew I'd read a lot of LGBTQ books, and I own a lot of black and know I'll read a lot of horror books. Then for dystopian I just chose a yarn color that I had available, same with mystery.

Here's how it's going so far! You can see the four navy rows for the two LGBTQ books i read, the two purple for the one dystopian book (which is also very good, I highly recommend Debate Kids at the End of the World and that author in general, Alex Nonymous) and then a chunk of black because I read four I. S. Belle books in a row (you can also see all of the ends I didn't weave in, which I'm going to hate myself for when I finish the blanket)

"But Austyn, what if the book is more than one genre?" I'm so glad you asked! Most of these books could be considered more than one genre. Fifty Feet Down is a mystery, but also a romance. So I just consider what genre I believe is more integral to the story, if that makes sense. Fifty Feet Down could be relatively the same if the main characters were just friends, but the story would be vastly different if it wasn't a mystery. Therefore, it gets the mystery color instead of romance. Same with all of the I. S. Belle books. There's romance in them, but if you took out the romance it would still be pretty similar, but if you took out the horror it would be an incredibly different story.

So that's my 2024 book blanket!

[wuntrum]

hello!!!! ive been debating whether or not to pre-order prokaryote season, since i dont know anyone personally who has read it, but u gave it a glowing review earlier this year so i’d love to know more about the book, or maybe ur pitch for why its so good? love to hear more personal recs from ppl who have read it :) have a great day!

HIIII you came to the right place!!! i can absolutely give you my pitch for why i love it so much haha

in terms of what i love in graphic novels, it really has to be a mix of interesting characters, an interesting plot, and beautiful art, and prokaryote season has all three! i can't reiterate enough how gorgeous the art is, the craft involved in the construction of every page is incredible, and the compositions and backgrounds are so beautifully thought out. it really transports you into another world, and makes you so immersed in the story. the actual description of prokaryote season is a queer fairytale i believe, and i totally agree with that---to give the least spoilery synopsis possible, the main character makes a wish that harms the person they're unrequitedly in love with, and has to try and save them before it's too late---but above all else though, it's very earnestly and honestly human. the characters are flawed and have to grapple with their own selfishness and desires. it also really impacted my world view for the better? i don't wanna be too specific, because i think it's worth reading blind, but when you get down to why its called prokaryote season, its such a great payoff and thread throughout the story (like i said, everything is really really well crafted). it's also definitely inspired my art and my approach to comics so, you'll like it if you like my stuff haha. silver sprocket is also just an amazing indie press, i've ordered several books from them and they're all printed beautifully, i really respect their ethos and what they do. PLUS you get to support a trans artist during pride month, so that's just a little extra cherry on top!

i have my first edition copy but i preordered another copy from silver sprocket in case anything were to happen to that first edition, THAT'S how much i love it haha

[kyber-crystal]

safe with him || s.r

summary: following your reunion after weeks apart drifting through space, steve becomes an overprotective mother hen and refuses to let you out of his sight.  

words: ~1.3k

warnings: very slightly mentions of angst, soft cap, fluff. UNEDITED so it’s VERY poorly written i’m sorry

a/n: a part 2 to Lost In Space, as requested by anon! it’s been FOREVER since i first published that fic but i’m so glad you went back and read it! you can read this as a standalone too tho. POST IW---PRE-ENDGAME AU

After your touched down at the compound, Steve was refusing to leave your side. 

Whenever you moved about, he was never far behind—always staying within a foot of where you stood or sat. You wanted to protest, to reassure him you were just fine—but you understood his urge to go full-on overprotective worried mother hen mode. It was in his nature to worry. 

"Darling,” he spoke so softly it took everyone by surprise. It was a tone of voice the team rarely ever heard him use—it was a tone specifically reserved for you, and only you. 

“Hmm?” You pulled his jacket tightly around your shoulders, watching Tony from outside, worriedly peering through the glass walls. “What’s up?”

"C’mere,” he spread his arms out towards you. You didn’t hesitate to step forward, walking straight into his warm embrace. As soon as your head found its way against his heart you were at ease and your hands slid up his back in response, gently gripping the fabric of his T-shirt. 

You let out a sigh of contentment, closing your eyes as he rested his chin on your head and pressed a soft kiss to your temple—letting his lips linger there for a second longer than usual. It felt nice to be with him again. After weeks of complete separation and no contact whatsoever, you’d found yourself missing Steve so much your chest physically ached just thinking about him.

If time permitted, you would’ve stayed like that forever. You wanted nothing more, nothing less, than to have him hold you until the very end of your days—and he wanted to do the same, as well. 

Your heart felt hollowed and carved out; empty after the wake of the Snap, after the world was shocked into utter devastation. You lost your practically-siblings, Wanda and Peter, you lost your best pals, Sam, Bucky, you lost your mentor and father figure, Doctor Strange. You lost all your friends and family and you didn’t know what to do. You felt lost and alone; helpless.

You sought out comfort in the warmth of Steve’s embrace and his piercing gaze, stunning blue eyes that would never fail to keep you calm yet make your heart race at the same time. Blue eyes brimming with sheer love and adoration—for you. You don’t need to say anything for him to wrap you into a tight hug—he could read you like an open book—he knew you almost as well as you knew yourself, if not even better. “Doll, I even remember your exact order from that Thai place we always order takeout from,” he’d say, “Spicy shrimp pad thai, pineapple fried rice, and taro milk tea with 50% ice and 25% sweetness,” as well as other oddly specific facts nobody else would know unless you told them yourself or they peeked through your file, “You were born (Y/B/D) at exactly 12:01:36 a.m. You’re a Brooklyn kid, just like me,” “You love action films, crime dramas, and pulling all-nighters to watch the sunrise.”

Maybe that’s what made you let down your guard around him and trust him so easily. Maybe that’s why you felt so safe around him—there was little to nothing he didn't know about you—so there was no point in hiding.

“You’re tired,” he murmured into your hair. “When’s the last time you got any rest?”

When you didn’t answer because you were too worn out to do so, he observed your bloodshot eyes and dark circles, which told him all he needed to know. “Let’s get you sitting down again, doll. You’ve had a long day.”

You nodded numbly as he led you back to the lounge. He sat down on the plushy couch next to you, and you stretched out, resting your head in his lap. He couldn’t stop himself from reaching out and gently raking his fingers through your soft hair. 

“Hey, Y/N-” Bruce paused and quickly lowered his voice when he saw you’d fallen asleep. He came and carefully draped a blanket over your body before taking a step back. “Are you sure she’s alright...”

“I don’t know,” Steve exhaled, brushing stray hairs away from your face. “If her fatigue alone is telling me anything, then...”

He nodded. “Alright...why don’t you take her back to her room, Cap, and I’ll go grab the IV drip.” 

“Rogers.”

“Hey, Nat...”

“I saw that little exchange outside." He wasn’t smirking at all, just had a small smile on. “Guess you finally worked up the courage to do it, huh.”

“Actually...she initiated it. But I think I would’ve done it sooner or later,” he smiled down at your sleeping form, “I missed her.”

“I know. I did too.” She placed a hand on his shoulder, “I’m glad she’s back. I’ve had enough of you moping around trying to get drunk, when you know for a fact you can’t.”

“Natasha...”

“I’m just messing with you,” she laughed. “I gotta go talk to Rhodes about something, so you keep taking care of your girl, alright?”

“Yeah.”

...

You woke up to find yourself in bed. An IV needle was inserted into the crook of your elbow, and a worried Steve Rogers was sitting in a chair he’d pulled up to your bedside, head in your lap as he gripped your hand tightly. 

“Hi. Steve. You awake?” 

“Hmmm?” He lifted his head up and blinked several times. “Y/N! You’re awake. That’s good.”

You yawned. “What time is it?”

“A little past 10 a.m. You hungry? I can fix something up for you, if you want. How’d you sleep? Bruce had to administer some treatments for you...you were hit pretty hard after living on nothing but packaged meals and granola bars for several weeks.”

“I don’t feel like passing out anymore,” you shrugged, “So that’s good. What about you? How much sleep did you get? Or did you stay here...the entire time...”

“A few hours, on and off.”

“And when you say few hours, you really mean...a few minutes here and there, don’t you,” you said in a slightly accusatory tone. “Steve, really? I’m not a child. I’m basically not much younger than you, I can get by on my own.”

"You had me really worried, Y/N. When I didn’t see you return...I thought I’d actually lost you. I don’t even want to think about how that’d affect me if it were to be true.”

“Awww,” you stuck your bottom lip out slightly, teasing him, “Does the big, muscular, giant puppy, Captain America, care about me?”

“I'm supposed to protect you, to watch over you,” he tried defending himself, but the flush of his cheeks gave it all away. “I’m just doing my job.”

“Okay, then...” You nodded, leaning back against the headboard, the aftereffects of all the meds beginning to catch up with you. “Man, I’m tired. Doesn’t matter if I sleep 14 minutes or 14 hours, I’m always going to feel like crap.”

“But I do care about you,” Steve corrected himself, “that’s true. I always have.”

His voice was so soothing, so calming—you wanted to swoon and fall asleep to it at the same time. You felt your stomach flutter with butterflies. 

“That’s nice,” you closed your eyes, smiling sleepily, “because I care about you too. Wouldn’t have spilled all my feelings in that voice recording if I didn’t. I was scared I’d never see you again, either...”

“A recording?” He raised a brow. “What’d it say?’

“That I love you and I always have and always will,” you breathed out, eyes still closed, “But I think I’ve made that fact obvious enough already.”

“Can I kiss you?” he spoke suddenly.

"You can kiss me any day, Captain,” you smiled as you leaned in. He closed the gap and connected your lips with his. You felt a pleasant stirring sensation in your chest—and so did he. 

And you finally felt like you were home again.

[power-rings]

Growing Pains

Chapter Two: A Bond

"I need you to know I would never be this strong without you You’ve seen how I’ve grown you took all my doubt Cause you were home..."

Weeks and months went by, and Maria succeeded in sneaking Shadow out of the lab. It happened so often to the point it was no longer a secret to her grandfather; not that he minded anymore, now. Shadow was developing just perfectly on his own, without anything from IVs, fluid, and some oxygen from a machine. So, Prof. Gerald was more than happy to allow Shadow some exercise. Although, the lifeform was developing just fine he did struggle to keep his balance every so often. With the help of Maria, he was able to maneuver around their unique home in Space. Over the time they've spent together they were becoming quite a interesting pair. It wasn't common they would get into trouble, but sometimes trouble would end up finding them.

One accident occurred between a middle-aged female nurse, which Maria swore to Shadow that she was like 150 years old and would never die. (He didn't quite understand, yet nodded in agreement either way.) Everyone called her an old hag on the A.R.K. but she did well at her job, despite her nasty attitude towards... well... everyone. For the first several years that Maria was on the Space Colony, this nurse didn't allow Maria to do anything except stay in her bed. She would force her to take some horrible medications, with worse side-effects. She didn't believe the old lady that they were helping her immune system, but Grandpa reassured her worries. Nobody really calls her by her real name, therefore she is known by That Nurse, and some other nasty names Maria would not repeat. That Nurse always wore her hair up in a bun, with a light blue pin tightly in her hair. For years, she told Maria that leaving her room would be a disaster for her health, she even hinted that she should go on Earth... because her grandfather wasn't present all the time. Unbeknownst to Maria though, she didn't have any living parents on Earth, so grandpa had to be best option for a guardian. If she was able to go out of the room, she was forced to wear a protective clothing, and uncomfortable masks. Eventually, Prof. Gerald had enough and told her that the treatments will be enough to keep her immune system strong, she of course argued with the man to no avail.

Can you guess how she felt about her friend, Shadow? She would spit out insults at Shadow, such as "you're just a lab rat", and "get back in your tube where you belong!" Maria frowned at her, and continued on her way, blocking the nasty old lady out. Thankfully, the rest of the residents were more approving of Shadow, and even found him to be quite interesting. None of them really knew what Gerald's purpose behind his creation, but that answer will come in due time.

Throughout their days together, Maria invited Shadow to try various foods from the cafeteria. Most of which was prepared by some of the greatest cooks that Gerald hired. It was quite different than some of the foods that they would enjoy on Earth. Her grandpa said that Shadow didn't have to eat, and could get away with eating one meal a week or longer. But, she insisted. Some of the foods such as veggies were packed tightly in portioned out boxes. (at that time they were trying to figure out how to grow veggies, and fruit in Space, so most of it were grown from Earth. ) Shadow was grossed out by broccoli, unless it was covered in the yellow substance called cheese. Anything else that was green, he refused to consume. Some of the other foods given were hand-prepared by the cooks among those meals... spaghetti were their favorites.

Their days would end by looking out the observation room where Earth, and some other planets orbited near them. It was absolutely stunning. Maria talked and talked about the books she read about this beautiful planet, Shadow of course soaked it all in. When it was it their curfew, this alarm would go off around the Space Colony, and everyone made their ways back to their rooms to settle for bed. Prof. Gerald would always walk Maria to bed, and would leave Shadow in the lab, but for the first night, he allowed Shadow to stay in Maria's own room. She worked on a make-shift bed for him, which was surrounded by soft pillows, and tons of stuffed animals - you would almost confuse Shadow for one! This became a routine every night from then on.

Maria's 10th birthday of all days she fell really ill. And when she got sick, it can be very deadly for her. Shadow was forced to stay out of the room, doctors, Prof. Gerald, and That Nurse were huddled around her bedside, checking her vitals, poking her with needles injected with medications. He waited outside of her door for days to come, faithfully obeying Prof. Gerald's orders. She was ill for about fourteen days, but gradually regained her strength, and Shadow was able to keep her company. No one knew what caused her to get ill, but whatever it was, almost everyone caught it and less people were seen roaming around. The next couple of weeks were slow, and their typical routine were a little different because Maria was struggling to regain her strength. When she was allowed to leave the room, because of the illnesses spread amongst the crew were no longer contagious, Shadow ended up carrying the girl to the observation room to see Earth... together. Their bond had grew drastically, and the two were inseparable.

A year went by since Shadow's creation, he grew to be typical hedgehog's height, and weight. Still a shorty, as Maria teases. During that same year, the nurse that everyone thought would never die, she ended up falling sick, and was sent back to Earth and died peacefully surrounded some of her grandchildren. It was almost weird not to hear her voice echo through the corridors of the Space Colony.

"What does it mean to die?" Shadow asked the pre-teen, he watched the screen in the cafeteria, that displayed various pictures of the nurse to pay tribute to her - they learned her name was in fact... Linda.

Maria raised an eyebrow, this wasn't a subject that children typically talked about. But, for her she had came close to the jaws of death more times than she liked. It didn't mean it didn't scare her. Any normal being would be scared... "Grandpa describes as a deep sleep..." Which he wasn't exactly wrong when he watched many of his creations go to sleep and never wake up. Maria played with her food, a little distraught, "but he says that Linda isn't suffering anymore." She gave a little smile. Shadow blinked, and the whole topic of death was completely dropped between the two.

His first year alive was literally hell from then on. Those scientists that observed him when he was tiny... they returned to discover any progress being made with the Ultimate Lifeform, he almost forgot that's what they called him. Shadow was being lead down the hallway to a room that he never knew existed, it was labeled as the "Testing Room". It was a huge empty room, no windows except for the up ahead where his creator observed, and the six other men standing before a platform that had a ton of buttons. "Let's see what it's capable of, shall we?" Stephen who had higher authority than the other 5. "Lifeform," he spoke into the microphone, his harsh voice echoing in the room. "destroy these robots." Within seconds, two robots were dropped from the ceiling. Prof. Gerald nervously watched above.

Shadow's ears pricked back, rather confused. Why did he have to destroy them? It wasn't like they were trying to harm him - OH SHIT, nope nevermind they're shooting at the lifeform now. He winced in pain, and growled. Tossing a glare at the men watching him. They kept firing. Shadow dodged left and right. Eventually, he was on all fours, panting. He was bleeding, but nothing that wouldn't heal on it's own unlike any other living being. His opponents approached him while he was down. "Lifeform! What in the hell are you doing?! DESTROY THEM!" He hollered from the control room. It was at that second Shadow's friend ran inside to his side, shielding him.

"STOP! You're gonna hurt him!" Upstairs, Gerald's face went white as the robot found a new target.

"SHUT IT OFF!" He roared, he shoved the men out of the way, and slammed his fist on the red button in the middle of the console. Immediately, the robot's systems went idle.

Maria hugged Shadow close, tears falling down her cheek - concerned deeply for her friend. Coming to reality, Shadow return the embrace. "Let's get you out of here..." She sniffled.

[basketofverbiage]

Angels Calling

Hi everyone! I just wanted to give a bit of a preface to this story. I know I was supposed to post a much happier story but I just couldn’t. A little bit about me that you may not know is that I worked for a local Hospice for 6 years. I helped people shower, maintain their homes, and just be there for them as they died and provided love and care to their loved ones as they were passing. My dad’s parents have been my next door neighbors since I was 4 years old, and I started noticing my sweet Gram declining a lot last year. When it got to the point that she needed help with showering, she wouldn’t let anyone else but me help her. So, when she was actively dying and in Hospice at the hospital, I stayed with her a lot and when she was still aware, she wouldn’t let me out of her sight. She lingered for 9 days. The night she died, I did her final post-mortum (after death) bath and got her ready for the funeral home to come myself. Because of my time with Hospice, I have a very unnatural way to deal with grief and everything is a little more complicated. When I started having nightmares about being at the hospital just waiting for her to pass, I knew I needed to do something to get it out of my system, and this story was born out of my need to deal with both my time working for hospice and the hundreds of patients I cared for and losing my Gram over the summer. So, with that, I’m sorry, but this story is really sad, but lightens up a bit at the end. But also know that I wrote this more for myself than for anything else.

Warnings: character death, grief, Hospice, terminal illness

Words: 18301

“Appa, I don’t feel so good.”

Hoseok never dreamed that those simple words spoken to him at 2:30 am would be the start of his worst nightmare come to life, but it was. Hoseok was a single dad, and as difficult as it could be, he wouldn’t trade his precocious 3-year-old daughter for anything in the world. Almost every father would say that if asked, but for Hoseok it was the truth. As far as he was concerned, the sun, moon, and all the stars rose and set in Dasom. Dasom’s mother had been young and a bit flighty, so when she found out she was pregnant she begged Hoseok to let her have an abortion, but he refused. He finally begged enough and promised that if she carried the baby to term, she’d never have to see either of them again, and she’d agreed. After 15 hours of labor, Dasom was born and her mother signed documentation resigning all parental rights to the child leaving her solely with Hoseok. As much as it broke his heart that she wanted nothing to do with this vibrant child, he was just selfish enough to be relieved that she couldn’t stroll in whenever it benefited her and shatter pieces of Dasom’s heart.

Hoseok could only think of a handful of times in her short life that Dasom had been ill, but she had recently begun attending pre-school and came into contact with more children her own age. He figured that it was only a matter of time before she would catch a cold, so when she came into his room and shook him awake and said she didn’t feel good, Hoseok figured she might have the cold that was going around.

“What doesn’t feel good, my Love?” he asked gently as he turned on the lamp on his bedside table.

“Appa, everything hurts. My skin even feels sore.”

Hoseok reached his hand out and felt her forehead and she was burning up. He picked her up and she immediately snuggled her face into the crook of his neck. He carried her into the bathroom and sat her gently on the countertop to take her temperature. She was old enough to take her temperature orally now and tolerated him holding the digital thermometer under her tongue until it beeped. When he glanced at the number on the screen, he did a double take. How was it possible that his baby had a temperature of 106 degrees? He was no doctor but he knew enough to know that her fever was dangerously high and probably the reason her little body was aching.

“Dasom, darling, we have to go to the doctor, but first I want you to take some medicine, okay?”

“Okay, Appa. As long as it helps. It hurts so much,” she whimpered as tears started streaking down her cheeks.

Hoseok hated seeing her in pain, so he gave her a dose of children’s fever reducer then got dressed to take her to the emergency room. After dressing himself quickly, he helped Dasom slip out of her pajamas to put on something that would be comfortable but warmer to go out into the chilly late-autumn night. When he took off her pajama pants, he gasped. There were big dark bruises down her legs that had not been there several hours ago when he’d helped her bathe before bed. As much as he was panicking on the inside, he was trying to stay calm for Dasom.

“Darling, did you fall out of bed or bump your legs coming to wake me up?” he asked, quietly.

“No, Appa, but it hurts.”

She was beginning to cry in earnest as he helped her into her booster seat in the back seat of his car and helped her buckle her seatbelt. The drive to the hospital went quickly, but Hoseok was so worried that it felt like it took hours to get there. Luckily, when they arrived there were no other people in the waiting room.

“Hi, Sir. How can we help you?” the receptionist asked.

“It’s my daughter. She woke me up saying she felt really bad, her fever was 106 degrees when I took it under her tongue, and she has bruises on her legs now that weren’t there when I helped her with her bath at 8:00.”

After entering the information into the computer system in front of her, the receptionist stepped from behind the desk with a clipboard.

“I’m going to go ahead and take you back to have her checked out by a doctor, but in the meantime, I do need for you to complete some additional information please.”

She led them back into a small room that was sectioned off with a curtain but had a bed in the middle. Hoseok laid Dasom gently on the bed and pulled a chair over beside her. She had brought a small yellow stuffed dog with her, and while she still cried a bit, she was toying with its ears while Hoseok completed the paperwork. He wrote down their insurance information and paused slightly when he got to the section about emergency contacts. His parents and sister lived several provinces over, and while he had some friends in the city, he and Dasom were pretty much solitary. After pondering for a moment, Hoseok wrote in the name of his best friend and business partner, Kim Namjoon. As far as Dasom was concerned, Unca Joonie and his partner, Unca Tookie, were her best friends. Namjoon and Hoseok ran a small bookstore/coffee shop combination in Seoul, while Namjoon’s partner Jungkook ran a game and comic book shop down the street. Namjoon and Jungkook had met a couple of years ago when Jungkook started coming into the café every morning for an Americano with double espresso shots every morning before opening his shop. Hoseok had just finished completing the requested documents when a doctor in a long white coat slipped into the room.

“Hi! My name is Dr. Kim Seokjin, but you can just call me Dr. Jin. What’s causing you so much trouble in the middle of the night, Princess Dasom?”

The dark-haired doctor was gentle and playful enough with her that he eased Dasom’s worries about being in the hospital, while still performing a thorough examination. After looking her over and taking her vitals, he turned to Hoseok.

“Mr. Jung, how long ago would you say Dasom had the fever reducer?” he asked.

“It was around 2:45 am,” he said, looking at his watch. “So maybe an hour and 15 minutes ago?”

“Hmm…” Dr. Kim thoughtfully jotted a few notes down. “It should definitely be taking effect by now, but her fever is now 106.3. I am going to have my lovely assistant come in and draw some of Dasom’s blood to do some tests. I’m also going to have him start an IV so we can give her a different medication to try to bring that fever down.” He turned to Dasom then and gave her a blinding smile, “I’ll be right back, Princess Dasom. I just want to step down the hall and get you some juice. Don’t give my lovely assistant too hard of a time, okay?”

Once she had giggled a bit and agreed, he exited the make-shift room. Since the room was essentially a big curtain in a circle around the bed, Hoseok could hear Dr. Kim speaking softly to someone outside the room but couldn’t make out what he was saying. He was watching Dasom snuggle under the light blanket with her puppy when someone new popped into the room.

“Oh my goodness! You must be the beautiful princess Dr. Jin was telling me about! My name is Taehyung,” the tall man said cheerfully before bowing to Dasom.

Dasom started giggling as soon as he called her a beautiful princess, and Taehyung shot her a big boxy smile before he came and sat down on the side of the bed.

“Princess, Dr. Jin said you are feeling pretty bad, and he wants us to do some tests to find out why. In order to do that, I need to take some samples of your blood which might not be fun for you, but I’ll be as gentle as I can, okay?”

Hoseok was still on edge, but the kindness of the nurse to even make his baby girl smile in this scenario was so appreciated. Dasom reached over and squeezed Hoseok’s hand while Taehyung drew three different tubes of blood and inserted an IV. Once the IV was in, he hung a bag of clear liquid and connected it.

“Alright, Princess Dasom! We are all done with the worst part now. I’m going to take your blood off to my friend to run some tests. In the meantime, why don’t you try to take a nap?”

After Taehyung left, Dasom lifted her little arms up to Hoseok and asked, “Appa, can I sleep in your lap?”  

“Of course you can, my darling,” he smiled to her. He picked up her small body being careful not to tug the IV lines and climbed into her bed. She snuggled into his arms and within a few minutes she had fallen asleep.

After she had fallen asleep, Hoseok checked the time. It was nearing 5:30 am, and they still had no idea what was wrong. Hoseok was exhausted with worry, so he tilted his head back on the pillow in Dasom’s hospital bed and drifted off to the rhythm of her sleepy breaths on his neck.

 The phone at the nurse’s station rang and Taehyung picked it up, chatting with the person on the other end for a moment before covering the mouthpiece with his hand and flagging Jin down.

“Dr. Kim, this is Dr. Min in the lab about our pediatric patient in Bay 1.”

Jin looked up from his charting and walked over to take the call.

“Hi Yoongi-chi. Have some good news for me?” he said cheerfully into the receiver.

Taehyung knew that Dr. Kim and Dr. Min had gone to medical school together and were close friends. They usually bantered back and forth for a bit, but from the look on Jin’s face, something wasn’t right.

“You’re sure, Yoongi-chi? Damn. Okay, send me up the report.”

After hanging up the phone, Jin pulled up the digital report before swearing softly under his breath.

“Tae, I hate cases like this. She’s really sick,” he said. “Do me a favor and go make Mr. Jung a strong cup of coffee and get some chocolate milk for our princess.”

 “Mr. Jung?”

Hoseok startled awake at the deep voice calling his name. He still held Dasom to his chest, and he could feel where she had drooled some in her sleep onto his shoulder. Taehyung smiled softly at him then helped him sit the head of the bed up a bit. He sat a sippy cup full of chocolate milk on the over bed table, before holding out a cup of coffee.

“Here, you are going to need this. Dr. Kim is going to come in after you’ve had a few minutes to wake up to talk with you about Dasom. It’s not the best coffee you’ve ever had, but it’s not jet fuel either.”

Hoseok thanked him and sipped on the hot coffee while waiting for the doctor. Something about how Taehyung had given it to him made his stomach twist with nervousness. After a few sips, the coffee and the churning of his nerves made Hoseok a bit queasy, so he abandoned the cup onto the over bed table beside the cup with Dasom’s chocolate milk. Before he had the time to overthink, Dr. Kim came in and sat in the chair beside the bed.

“I see our princess is still sleeping. I’m a little glad that she’s going to sleep through this conversation,” Dr. Kim sighed then and ran his hands through his hair. “We got the blood tests back that I ordered on Dasom. Her white blood cell count is literally off the charts. It’s so high that our machine that reads the count gave an error. Our lab director is a friend of mine and he personally ran the test for me. I really suspect that Dasom has a form of leukemia, but I can’t treat her here in the emergency room. I’m going to have her admitted to our children’s ward upstairs and personally refer her to a colleague who specializes in things like this. Dr. Park is a couple years younger than me, but he’s brilliant and knows all the latest treatments. He should be able to pick up where I leave off. Is there anyone you can call to be with you? I didn’t see mentions of Dasom’s mother on the paperwork…”

“She signed away parental rights the same hour Dasom was born. I haven’t seen her in literal years. My best friend lives in the city, so I’ll call him,” Hoseok murmured.

He was in shock. His baby was so sick. He could feel the panic bubbling up a bit, but he swallowed it harshly down.

“Taehyung is going to come in a few minutes and take you upstairs. Dasom will have to go up a separate elevator due to hospital rules, but we will make sure you have her room number before you go. That will also give you a chance to call your friend.”

Dasom was still asleep when Taehyung came to push bed and all up to the 7th floor of the hospital. He gave Hoseok the cup of chocolate milk and a slip of paper with her room number written on it. Hoseok stepped out of the emergency room bay and walked out into the lobby inside the main portion of the hospital to make a phone call.

 It was still dark outside when Namjoon’s phone rang. He knocked a closed bottle of water off his bedside table trying to get to it and then croaked out a greeting. He was trying to stay quiet enough not to wake Jungkook sleeping with his head on Namjoon’s bare chest, but when he heard Hoseok sobbing on the other end about Dasom and the hospital and something about leukemia, he sat up fast enough to dump the younger man off his chest harshly.

“Hobi, we will be right over. We will stop by and put a note on the door of the shop that it will be closed for the day.”

Jungkook had pouted at first at his rough awakening until he heard how upset Namjoon was. Namjoon was rushing around getting dressed faster than Jungkook had ever seen, and it made Jungkook respond with his own shaken brand of frantic dressing.

“Baby, what’s wrong? Who was on the phone?” Jungkook asked as he pulled a black shirt over his head.

“Hoseok. He’s at the hospital with Dasom. They’ve been there all night and the doctors think she has leukemia.”

 That was the beginning of the flaming hellscape that Hoseok’s life became. After four months of intermittent hospitalizations for weeks at a time, chemotherapy treatments that made Dasom vomit everything out for days afterwards and made her beautiful hair fall out, other treatments in the form of shots, IVs, and elixirs, and a bone marrow transplant, Hoseok wasn’t sure how much more either of them could take. It seemed like their options were slowly running out, and that was terrifying to him. It was still amazing to him how Dasom was still as bright and playful as she had ever been despite how sick she truly was. Namjoon and Jungkook had been by their sides the entire time, and Jungkook had spent a small fortune in cute hats and headbands for her when all of her hair had come out.

“I can’t help it, Hobi. I just want her to still feel as beautiful as she is, with or without hair,” he’d said when Hoseok had commented on it.

The three of them took turns staying with her during the day. Luckily, Jungkook’s friend Yugyeom was able to help out at the game shop on the days when Jungkook was babysitting, much like today. Hoseok and Namjoon were both in the shop that day preparing for a book signing coming later in the week, and Jungkook was sending them both photos of their adventures as the day went on. Hoseok was re-arranging the window display for the upcoming Valentine’s Day holiday when his phone rang. He hadn’t been expecting a call, so it startled him a bit when he saw the phone number for Dr. Park’s office on his caller ID.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Mr. Jung? This is Eunwoo at Dr. Park’s office. He’d like to schedule a time for you to bring in Dasom to go over her recent labs. Is there any way you can come this afternoon?”

Something in Hoseok was shattered by the urgency of the request, but he set the appointment for 3 pm. That gave him a little more than 2 hours to pick up Dasom from Jungkook and arrive at the office. He placed the red tinted fairy lights he’d been attempting to detangle back in the box and headed to the back of the shop to find Namjoon. He found him in their office on the phone confirming the time with the local author for the book signing that Friday. Hoseok sat on the edge of the chair in front of the desk and waited for the call to end.

“Alright, Hobi. That was just confirming the details for our signing Friday afternoon. He will be here at 4 and we can get him settled at his table with some tea before we let in the masses.”

“Joon, Dr. Park’s office called and scheduled an appointment for Dasom in 2 hours. I’m going to have to go pick her up and go,” Hoseok told him anxiously.

“That doesn’t sound good. Why don’t I ride with you and we have Kookie meet us at the office with Dasom? If it’s not good news, I don’t want you to be alone,” Namjoon asked. Hoseok knew that he was worried by the way his forehead was crinkled just between his eyebrows, but he was trying to hide it.

“Okay. If it’s not too much trouble for you and Kookie.”

 Hoseok was so nervous about the appointment that they ended up leaving nearly an hour before they had to be there. Hoseok felt the anxiety buzzing around his abdomen like he’d drunk live bees instead of tea with breakfast that morning. Namjoon’s presence at his side was soothing and familiar as they sat on a park bench in front of the office waiting on Jungkook to get there.

“Hey, Seok? No matter what happens when we walk out of this appointment, we will handle it together. We are brothers. Jungkook and I love Dasom just like she is our own child. We will help you with whatever comes next,” Namjoon said softly, squeezing Hoseok’s hand gently as they watched Jungkook park his car and help Dasom out of the backseat.

Hoseok felt his throat close up with nerves, so he just nodded and plastered on a bright smile for his daughter. While the smile was initially fake, it slowly became a true grin as he heard Dasom and Jungkook singing “Baby Shark” as loudly as they could while crossing the parking lot. Jungkook was holding her against his chest and she was wearing a sparkly lavender princess dress and was clipping her matching tiara into Jungkook’s curly locks as they walked.

“Wow, Kookie! Who knew you made such a beautiful princess!” Hoseok teased.

“I’d be offended, but Dasom already told me that I’m the prettiest princess, and her word is law since she’s the queen,” he sassed back, making Dasom giggle.

“Hi Appa!” she squealed when Hoseok reached out for her.

“Hi my Love! Have you had a fun day with Princess Kookie?”

“Yes! We read more of The Princess Bride after lunch, then Unca Tookie let me play dress up for a bit.”

Hoseok listened to his daughter chatter about her day with Jungkook as they checked in with the receptionist. The group had only just sat down when a familiar face popped out and called them back.

“TaeTae! I didn’t know you worked here!” Dasom squealed out while she hugged his legs.

“Hi Princess! I just couldn’t wait another day to see you! And Dr. Park’s assistant had a baby last week, so Dr. Jin let me come over to help out. Plus, you know how much trouble Dr. Park gets into. Someone had to come keep him straight,” Taehyung explained as he hugged her.

They had gotten to know Taehyung pretty well as he had transferred up to the children’s unit shortly after their night in the emergency room. He still worked in the ER when they were short staffed, but he mostly worked in the inpatient unit for sick children. Since Dr. Park Jimin was the head of the children’s ward, Taehyung also floated over to the doctor’s office when needed. Somehow, just seeing his boxy grin and easy demeanor always put Hoseok and Dasom at ease; Dasom loved Taehyung and said he was her favorite nurse because he gives the best hugs. Taehyung took them back towards a room but stopped to weigh Dasom and measure her height.

“Princess, you have grown another inch since I saw you last! I’m going to give you a rock for a hat so you don’t get any bigger!” he teased before taking the rest of her vital signs.

Hoseok was a little surprised that Taehyung picked up Dasom and carried her while leading them to Dr. Park’s actual office instead of an exam room.

“Dr. Park wanted me to bring you in here instead of an exam room. He said he’d be in to speak with you in a few minutes. Make yourselves comfy. Do any of you want coffee or tea?” Taehyung asked. When they all refused, he patted Hoseok on the back and left the room, leaving the door slightly open.

They had only been sitting for a few minutes when Dr. Park came in. Hoseok always thought that if he’d met the man in a different setting, he’d have never known he was a doctor. Park Jimin was a bit shorter than Hoseok and had this habit of pushing his blonde hair back out of his eyes. He never wore a lab coat like most doctors Hoseok had ever met unless he was at the hospital, and then he just wore the lab coat over jeans and simple shirts. He had no qualms about kneeling in the floor to speak eye-to-eye with his young patients and his entire manner was soft and friendly. Children liked him and he was great with them. Not only was he great with his patients, but the man was truly brilliant. He had presented treatment options that Hoseok had never even heard of and had been willing to try anything. When Dr. Park came into the room, Dasom climbed out of Namjoon’s lap where she’d been doodling on the notepad that he always kept in his pocket to hug her doctor.

“Hello, Princess! I see that you brought in your royal guard and a new princess I don’t think I’ve met yet with you!”

“Oh Dr. Chim, that’s not a princess! That’s Unca Tookie, and you’ve met him before,” Dasom giggled.

“Well, don’t tell him I said so,” Dr. Park whispered conspiratorially to her, “but he makes a very pretty princess.”

Hoseok glanced over at Jungkook, who was blushing a bit and sneakily trying to remove the tiara from his hair and chuckled to himself.

“Princess, why don’t I take you to play with TaeTae for a little while? I need to talk to your Appa,” Dr. Park said before taking her hand and leading her out the door.

He was only gone for a few minutes, then came back and closed his office door. He shook each of their hands in greeting before sitting down behind his desk and opening up a folder that Hoseok hadn’t noticed before.

“Thank you for coming in at such short notice, Hoseok. I just didn’t want to dally in discussing this with you. As you know, we were hoping that the bone marrow transplant would help Dasom. I got her labs back this morning, and they were discouraging. While her white blood cell count is a little bit lower that it was before the transplant, it’s higher than it was during her last bloodwork. This tells me that it isn’t working,” Dr. Park paused at this point to look Hoseok in the eye. “You know that the transplant was the last-ditch effort we had to get ahead of this. I don’t have anymore tools on my belt that I can use to magically heal Dasom, and God knows I wish I did.”

Hoseok struggled to speak for a few minutes before finally choking out, “So what does this mean?”

Dr. Park ran his fingers through his hair, then stood and walked around his desk to take Hoseok’s hand before speaking again. “Hoseok-ssi, it means that with all of the efforts we’ve made to heal Dasom, none of it has worked. She is still very, very sick and there are no more options for treatment. We’ve tried them all.”

“Is she…please…is she dying? Is my baby going to die?” Hoseok stumbled over the words in his horror.

“I’m so sorry, but yes. I think she’s dying, Hoseok. I wanted to bring you in and talk to you about requesting some help for you. What do you think of Hospice?” Dr. Park said gently.

Hoseok couldn’t speak. His mouth fell open, but Jungkook spoke for him. “Isn’t Hospice for people who are going to die right away?”

“That is a misconception that a lot of people have. Hospice is designed for patients who are terminally ill and have a prognosis of living 6 months or less. While they won’t get better or heal really, the entire goal is for the patients to have the best possible quality of life and be comfortable in the end. Not only that, but you’d be able to keep Dasom at home throughout the process. She won’t have to be hospitalized again. I would still be her doctor and manage her care, but there would be other people involved. A nurse would come at least once a week and would be on-call 24 hours a day, a social worker would be available to you, and you would have access to 13 months of completely free bereavement care after Dasom dies. And that offer is for more than just you, Hoseok. It would be available to both Namjoon and Jungkook. They can also help arrange bereavement with your parents and sister through a Hospice nearby their homes.”

Hoseok crumpled under the weight of the shock. He couldn’t help but to fold in on himself. Dr. Park was still knelt down in front of him and holding both of his hands, but Hoseok’s head was nearly resting on his knees. He started to sob unintentionally; he had wanted so much to be strong for his baby girl, but he was so scared and devastated at this news. Before he realized what had happened, Dr. Park had released his hands and pulled him into a tight hug.

“I’m so sorry, Hoseok. I wish I could do more to help her,” he whispered into Hoseok’s ear.

When he finally calmed down enough to pull back from the doctor, he could see the tears streaking down Dr. Park’s own face. He was an amazing doctor, so compassionate and brilliant, but there were still limits to what he could do. He couldn’t work a miracle. And while Hoseok understood that in his mind, his heart was shattered.

“I’m sorry for breaking down. But she’s my whole world. I literally exist to be her father, so the thought that she’s going to die before me is incomprehensible to me,” Hoseok said while trying to wipe his tears away. “Since we can’t do anything else, I guess Hospice is the next best thing. I don’t want her to be in pain, and if she can be at home to pass, I think she’d be more comfortable.”

Dr. Park sucked in a stuttered breath then said, “Okay. I will make the referral today, so please expect a call in the next couple of days. A nurse and a social worker will come out to your home for that and begin to get to know you. And I will of course make visits occasionally to check in on Dasom.”

Hoseok listened to the rest of the things that Dr. Park said about Hospice services as if he were standing in a tunnel. The sound echoed around his head, but most of the words were lost. After a few minutes, Namjoon and Jungkook helped him to stand and walk out of the room. They found Dasom sitting in Taehyung’s lap reading a storybook just down the hall. A toy stethoscope was clipped around her neck over the top of her princess dress and she had a disposable cap on her head like the ones used for surgery.  Taehyung was doing silly voices for all of the characters in the story and Dasom was laughing along with him. Hoseok just stopped to stare at her, gripping onto Namjoon’s arm while he saw how lively she seemed in this moment. It took everything within him not to hit his knees right then.

“Hey, Seok? Why don’t Jungkook and I come over and help you make dinner for Dasom? I just want to help support you both,” Namjoon asked softly. Hoseok just nodded before approaching Taehyung and Dasom. As he got closer to her, she looked up at him with a huge smile on her face.

“Appa, are you all done with Dr. Chim?” she asked.

“Yeah, Darling. Let’s go home now. Uncle Joonie and Uncle Kookie are going to come over for dinner. Should we order something?” he replied as he picked her up.

He couldn’t resist hugging her to his chest, and when she wrapped her tiny arms around his neck, more tears slipped out of his eyes. Would this be one of the last times he was able to hold her? To see her smile? Hear her precious giggles?

 After Dasom and her family had left, Taehyung stepped in to check on Dr. Park. They were good friends outside of work, and Taehyung had suspected that whatever news had been delivered to Mr. Jung was not good; Taehyung knew that Jimin would not be handling it well. In fact, he had rescheduled all of his appointments for the rest of the day when the reports had come in.

When Taehyung got to the office door, he could hear the sobs. Jimin was such a tender-hearted soul that his patients affected him deeply. He slipped in the door to find Jimin with his head down on the desk, crying into his folded arms. Taehyung closed the door behind him, then went to kneel beside Jimin.

“What happened, Chim?” he asked gently.

“She’s dying, Tae. The bone marrow transplant didn’t work. Her labs are still terrible and there’s nothing else I can do. I had to bring her father in and suggest Hospice to him for his 3-year-old daughter. I’m a horrible doctor. I can’t help her!”

Taehyung pulled Jimin into a hug and squeezed him tightly. “You are the best doctor at this hospital, Chim. Seriously. You have helped so many sick children recover. And I know, Dasom is a special little girl and it sucks so much that she’s so sick, but you can only do so much. You have tried every single treatment available for her, including some non-conventional methods and nothing has worked. Maybe her candle was only meant to be lit for a short while. All we can do now is make sure she’s comfortable and as happy as she can be through the end. Are you going to do home visits for her?”

Jimin nodded against Taehyung’s shoulder. “Want me to go with you those days?” Taehyung asked. Jimin nodded again. “Okay. We will go together. And we will make sure that she is the happiest that she can be.”

 Y/n hated pediatric cases. They were always the worst. She had begun working as a Hospice nurse to help dying people pass in comfort and peace and to make them smile as often as possible, but most of her patients were elderly. They had all lived long, mostly joyful, lives and were tired of being sick. As she stared at the admission information for her new patient, her heart sank.

Jung Dasom, born 26 May 2015, is a 3-year-old female patient with Juvenile Myelomoncytic Leukemia. The patient has endured a variety of treatments, including various chemotherapies and a bone marrow transplant. The transplant slowed down the growth of the leukemia for a short time. The patient’s mother has revoked claim to all parental rights and should not be given any information whatsoever regarding the patient’s condition should she reach out or inquire. The primary caregiver for the patient is her father, Jung Hoseok, who runs a bookstore/coffee shop. Additional caregivers are the father’s business partner, Kim Namjoon, and his boyfriend, Jeon Jungkook; information regarding the patient’s condition can be shared freely with both. The patient’s grandparents and aunt live out of town but do visit regularly. Mr. Jung has given permission to also speak with both regarding the patient’s condition. Mr. Jung has expressed interest that the patient remain at home for the duration of her illness and not be hospitalized again. Primary physician is Dr. Park Jimin, who will continue to manage the patient’s care and should be contacted for any and all changes in the patient’s condition. Dr. Park plans to make regular home visits to the patient to monitor the progression of the disease.

Y/n had not been the nurse to admit the patient as she had been attending a visit for another patient’s death, so her colleague, Sara had gone.

“Hey Sara, I see you did the admission yesterday for my pediatric patient. How are things there?” Y/n asked.

“She’s an absolute doll. You will fall in love with her. She is still very happy and playful and doesn’t report pain often. She lost all of her hair from the chemo, and complains of nausea when she eats, so Dr. Park has her on some meds that she takes before meals. Her dad is a total sweetheart and is super hands on with her care. He’s absolutely devastated at the news but is trying to hold it together for Dasom. The entire scenario is horrific, and I’m so glad she’s your patient and not mine.”

 The night that they’d gone home from Dr. Park’s office, Namjoon had driven Hoseok’s car back to their apartment and Jungkook had followed behind with Dasom so that Namjoon and Hoseok could talk.

“I swear I never dreamed that she would die before me, Joon. The thought rips the breath out of my lungs. I don’t know how I’m supposed to tell her, but I think I have to,” Hoseok cried to his friend.

Namjoon had tears rolling down his cheeks by the time that he parked the car, but they had developed a bit of a plan. Namjoon and Jungkook would order in dinner and set the dining room table while Hoseok tried to explain things to Dasom. Before stepping out of the car, Namjoon reached over and squeezed Hoseok’s hand a couple of times to give him strength then wiped the tears from his face. They looked at each other and both took some deep breaths before stepping out of the car.

Jungkook and Dasom were singing “Baby Shark” again. Jungkook was doing a great job of keeping his energy up for Dasom for the moment, but Namjoon could see the sadness in his eyes.

“What sounds good for dinner, Somie?” Namjoon asked as they took the elevator up to their floor. “Jungkookie and I are going to order something yummy for us.”

She tapped her little index finger against her chin for a moment while she thought about it. “Can we have noodles?”

“Of course! We will order loads of noodles,” Jungkook replied with a soft smile.

“Can we have chicken too?” she asked.

“Yeah, we can order chicken too,” Namjoon said, also with a smile.

“When we get home, can you meet me in my bedroom with your puppy, Love? I want to talk to you for a few minutes before we have fun with Joonie and Kookie,” Hoseok asked her as he knelt before her as the elevator was nearing the 8th floor where their apartment was.

Dasom nodded then put her little hands on each of Hoseok’s cheeks and blew a raspberry on the tip of his nose. “Yes, Appa. We can talk,” she said as she giggled at the silly look on Hoseok’s face.

Hoseok stood then and held her hand as they exited the elevator. When they got to their apartment, Dasom kicked her shoes off beside the door and put them in their designated spot on the shoe rack before running down the hall to her room. Namjoon, Jungkook, and Hoseok all stepped into the kitchen after removing their own shoes. Namjoon and Jungkook stepped forward to hug Hoseok, but he held his hands up to stop them.

“If you hug me right now, I’ll lose it. And I have to keep it together to talk to her,” he explained before grabbing Dasom a juice box out of the refrigerator then heading towards his room.

When Hoseok opened his bedroom door, Dasom was already there. She was sitting in the middle of his bed with her puppy plushie in her lap, fidgeting about with his ears. When he heard the door open, she smiled at him. He put the straw in the juice box and handed it to her before sitting down in front of her.

“Dasom, I wanted to talk to you a little bit about our visit with Dr. Chim today. You know that you’ve been sick for a while and had surgery, right?” Hoseok paused for her to respond, and she simply nodded as she took a sip of juice. “Well, Dr. Chim talked to me today because the surgery didn’t do what it was supposed to, and you are still sick. Dr. Chim told me today that there is nothing else he can do to help you get better.”

“Appa, am I going to go to heaven?” Dasom asked softly.

“Yes, Baby. At some point soon, you will go to heaven. Dr. Chim is going to help us make sure that even though you are still sick, it won’t hurt, and it won’t be scary. I’ll be with you the whole time. So will Uncle Joonie and Uncle Kookie. Dr. Chim is also going to send us some new friends that will help us take care of you at home, so you won’t have to go to the hospital anymore.”

“Okay, Appa. Will I get to see TaeTae again?”

“I don’t know, but I’ll call Dr. Chim’s office tomorrow and see if TaeTae can come visit you sometimes.”

Hoseok had to stop talking because his voice got caught in his throat. He reached out and picked Dasom up and pulled her into his lap. She instantly snuggled into him and wrapped her little arms around him to hug him.

After a minute, she looked up at him and said, “Appa, I’m not scared to go to heaven. I just will miss you so much when I’m there. You are the best Appa in the world. I love you so, so much.”

Her words broke him more than he already was. Hoseok cried as he whispered back that he loved her several times.

“Appa, don’t cry. It’s going to be okay,” she said as she kissed his cheek. “Unca Joonie and Unca Tookie will take care of you when I get to heaven.”

 The minute Hoseok had walked out of the kitchen to speak with Dasom, Jungkook had lost it. He had been strong the whole time he drove so that Dasom wouldn’t realize how upset he was, but when Hoseok left the kitchen, Jungkook wrapped himself up in Namjoon’s arms and let his own tears fall. Namjoon held him as he shook in his arms until they heard the click of Hoseok’s bedroom door open. Jungkook pulled back from the hug and walked to the kitchen sink to splash some water on his face to clear out all of the tears from his cheeks.

Jungkook had just dried his face on Hoseok’s hand towel when Hoseok himself came around the corner. He took a deep breath before turning around and seeing Hoseok taking slow deep breaths.

“How’d it go?” Jungkook asked gently.

“Better than I thought. She said that she loved me and that she’s not scared to go to heaven and that you and Joonie would take care of me when she’s gone.” Hoseok whimpered, fighting hard against the pain in his chest. “I don’t want my baby to die.”

Jungkook started crying again with him as he pulled him into a hug. Namjoon draped his arms around both men, and they all stood there and cried together for a few minutes, before a small voice spoke up.

“Don’t be sad please. I don’t want you to be sad,” Dasom cried as she wiggled into the middle of the three men. “I don’t want you to cry because I’m sick.”

Their tears had made their favorite princess cry because she didn’t want them to be sad because of her. Jungkook picked her up and snuggled her into all three of them.

“I’m sorry, Princess. I’m just sad that I won’t get to see you anymore when you leave us. But I promise I won’t cry anymore.”

 Y/n called and scheduled an appointment to meet her new patient 2 days after she had been admitted to Hospice. She was a little nervous about meeting Dasom and her father, but her nerves were immediately put at ease by the man with the 1000-watt smile who greeted her at the door.

“Hi, my name is Y/n. Mr. Jung, I presume?”

“Oh please. Mr. Jung is my dad. Please call me Hoseok,” he said warmly as he shook her hand. “Dasom is playing in her room. Should I go get her?”

“There’s no need. We can chat with her in her room if that’s better,” Y/n said. She couldn’t help but smile back at Hoseok as he led her into the apartment and down the hallway on the right side of the living room.

“Can I carry something for you? You look like you have your hands full,” he asked.

“I’m okay. Thank you though. I lug my bag and computer around from place to place all day long, so I barely even notice it these days.”

Hoseok nodded, then led her into the little girl’s room at the end of the hall. Dasom was sitting in the floor in front of a dollhouse at the end of her bed playing with some tiny dolls, one of which she was currently putting into the tiny bathtub in the upstairs of the dollhouse. She was wearing a light blue cotton dress with a picture of a unicorn on the front and some pink house slippers. She had very little hair, just a bit of peach fuzz that had begun to grow in after her chemotherapy treatments had ended, but she had on a blue headband with a bright yellow flower attached to it. She looked up at them when they entered the room and her dark brown eyes twinkled brightly when she saw her father.

“Somie, this is Y/n. She is one of the new friends Dr. Chim sent to help us out here at home. She needs to check you over so she can report back to Dr. Chim,” he explained as he introduced Y/n to the little girl.

“Hi Y/n! I’m Dasom. Are you friends with TaeTae?” she asked.

“TaeTae is Dr. Park’s assistant. His name is actually Taehyung, but Dasom gave him his own nickname because she loves him so much. He’s her favorite nurse,” Hoseok explained with a smile at the confused expression on Y/n’s face.

“Oh okay. No, I don’t know TaeTae yet, but I’m sure I will meet him soon since I’ll be calling Dr. Chim on a regular basis. Can you sit on your bed for me? I just need to take your temperature and your blood pressure.”

Dasom was completely unbothered by the discomfort of the blood pressure cuff as Y/n took her blood pressure. She was quiet until Y/n finished taking her blood pressure then she chattered about random things as Y/n continued her assessment.

“Dasom, do you hurt anywhere? Do you feel okay today?”

“No, nothing hurts today. I had a headache yesterday, but Appa gave me medicine and it helped. I haven’t thrown up in 3 whole days!” she replied excitedly.

After doing a physical examination, Y/n and Hoseok left Dasom to play with her dollhouse as they chatted a bit more in the living room. Y/n sat down on the sofa in front of a coffee table to chart on the visit on her computer and speak a bit more with Hoseok. Hoseok brought her over a cup of hot tea to sip as they talked more.

“Thank you so much for this,” Y/n said as she took a sip. “I just wanted to sit down with you and answer any questions you might have about Hospice, Dasom’s illness, or any concerns you have. I’m planning on visiting twice a week, Tuesdays and Fridays. Since Dasom is so young, I just want to be present a bit more to get ahead of any symptoms that come up. I also want to be here to support you as much as I can.”

“I appreciate that very much. My best friends, Namjoon and Jungkook, will probably be here at times when you come so that I can work. My priority is Dasom, but on the days that she feels okay, I try to go to the bookshop to help Namjoon. I can do quite a bit of work from home since I do most of the bookkeeping and ordering of supplies, but it helps to get out some.”

“That’s understandable. I can call you and give you an update or leave you a note if you prefer on days you can’t be here. I have some families that keep a journal of sorts to write down their questions for me and for me to leave notes for them. We also have a nurse on call every night. If you have any issues, please call and someone can either give you instructions by phone or will come out as needed. I’m regularly on call as well, so sometimes if you call, you might speak with me.”

They chatted a bit more and Y/n could tell that Hoseok was a bit nervous, but she tried her best to assuage his fears. “I know this seems super overwhelming at the moment, but I will be by your side throughout this process. Death and dying seems like such a foreign process to most people, but I will be here every step of the way to help manage her symptoms and help you know what to expect as we go along. Don’t worry about that part though. For now, I just want you to take things day by day and enjoy spending time with your daughter.”

 Months passed before anything really changed. Dasom had good days when Hoseok could barely tell she was sick, and she played and laughed and grew. Other days were worse. She complained of headaches more often, and her nausea was harder to control. There were days she couldn’t even keep water down she was so nauseated, and she would cry and beg him to make it better. Those days were hell for Hoseok because he couldn’t make it better for his baby as much as he wished he could. Y/n was an angel throughout everything, and Dasom had taken to her as quickly as she had taken to Taehyung. It was so reassuring to Hoseok that she came on a regular schedule, every Tuesday and Friday. It was also so good to know that if something went badly during the middle of the night, he had someone he could call right away for help.

When they had first been admitted to Hospice, they had been given a special packet of medications that were tailored to Dasom that Y/n called an emergency kit. It was a set of medications that were often needed during end of life care for patients and kept in the home so that they were on hand if needed. The dosages and medications had been modified from what was typically given in a standard emergency kit because Dasom was too young to be given doses of that size of some medications or needed alternate medications altogether. This kit was kept in a high cabinet in the kitchen where Dasom couldn’t access it but was handy if something was needed. While Hoseok hoped they’d never have to use it, there was something so comforting about knowing it was there.

Hoseok never anticipated that things were going downhill until the floor collapsed from beneath him. He was out at the shop doing some work there since Dasom had been doing wonderfully for 2 weeks. She’d felt good and had been able to eat normally and play. Her hair had finally begun to grow back in earnest and she currently had the equivalent of a cute pixie cut. She still wore her hats and headbands that Jungkook had gotten her, and he’d bought several more since then. Since she had been so well, Hoseok felt safe with leaving her with Jungkook for a few hours while he worked in the shop knowing that Jungkook would call the second anything happened. It was nearly 4 in the afternoon on a Thursday, and Hoseok was shelving the newest batch of best-sellers he had ordered when his phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Hey Seok, its Jungkook. I think you need to come home and have Namjoon follow you. Dasom was fine up until after lunch. She said she was tired and fell asleep on my chest watching Frozen. That was at 12, and I’m having trouble waking her up. When I try, she opens her eyes a little, says, ‘So tired, Unca Took,’ then conks back out. I’m worried.”

That was all it took to bring the walls of a normal day shattering around Hoseok. Namjoon immediately closed the shop and they left to head home. While he was driving, Hoseok called Y/n to update her on Dasom.

 Y/n was leaving another patient’s home when she got the call from Hoseok, and she could tell he was panicking. She promised him that she’d meet him at their apartment. She got there just before he did since she had only been a few blocks away. Jungkook answered the door holding Dasom to his chest, and Y/n could see the fear in his large, bright eyes.

“Y/n! I’m so glad you’re here. Dasom isn’t really waking up and she’s breathing kind of funny,” he said. “She fell asleep on my chest and I’ve just been holding her so she wouldn’t be scared.”

Y/n instantly noticed that Dasom was a bit paler than usual. She naturally had her father’s golden skin, and it was a bit disquieting to see her so pale. Y/n convinced Jungkook to carry her down the hall to her bedroom and lay her on her bed. Several weeks ago, they had switched Dasom’s toddler bed out for a hospital bed so that they would be able to elevate the head of the bed as needed. Jungkook and Y/n got her settled in the bed and laid her favorite blanket over her lap. The whole time, Y/n noticed that her breathing was starting to be a bit more rapid than was normal but had begun to have periods where she stopped breathing altogether for a few seconds. Y/n was able to rouse her a tiny bit, but she instantly went back to sleep after finishing her sentence. Y/n was taking her temperature when Hoseok ran down the hall with Namjoon hot on his heels.

“What’s happening?” Hoseok asked, panicking a bit at the way his daughter looked. In his eyes, she already looked dead because of the pallor of her skin, but he could see her staggered breathing.

“Please, sit down, all of you. This might be a lengthy conversation,” Y/n said as soothingly as she could. Jungkook stepped and grabbed two chairs from the dining room table for himself and for Namjoon to sit in, while Hoseok opted to sit on the edge of Dasom’s bed.

“Thank you. I don’t want you to think I’m being unsympathetic of the situation or being harsh. I just need to speak honestly with you, so you all understand what’s happening. Dasom has been such a strong girl, but her body may be starting to give out. She may start to sleep a lot more than is usual for her and she may not breathe normally. Her heart rate might speed up and she could have periods where she doesn’t breathe at all; you may hear me call that periods of apnea. She may also start to have constant fevers. This will just get worse and worse until eventually she stops breathing altogether. Now, I would love to be able to tell you how long something like this will take, but I simply don’t know. She could also have several days in between where she will have more energy and be more awake; these periods are called rallies. She is rallying her energy up to take care of any business she may have and to say anything she needs to say to you. I will start to come more often for a while because I want to be here for you. I’ll also call Dr. Park to update him. He will probably call you to make a visit.”

Y/n’s heart was breaking with these three men. While Namjoon and Jungkook were not related to Dasom at all, this child might as well have had 3 fathers with as much time as they spent with her. Over the nearly 5 months she had been taking care of Dasom, she had rarely had a visit where only Hoseok was present. She had even come when Taehyung and Dr. Park had been there a few times. Everyone that she came into contact fell in love with this little girl, Y/n included. If her father’s smile was bright as the sun and his heart just as warm, his daughter’s smile was brighter and her heart warmer. As sick as she was, she always wanted to know that the people around her were happy, and she spoke wise words for such a small child.

While Y/n would never breathe a word of this to anyone, she had suspected that this was coming soon. Dasom’s birthday had been a week ago, and Y/n had visited the day before her birthday party. Her birthday had fallen on a Thursday, but she had wanted everyone she loved to visit for her birthday on Saturday, Y/n included. Hoseok stepped away to take a call as Y/n was finishing up listening to Dasom’s lungs.

“Y/n-ie, will you promise me something?” Dasom asked solemnly while her father was distracted.

“Of course, Love. What can I promise you?”

“Promise me to take care of my Appa. I love him very much, but I’m scared for him when I go to heaven. I’ve been hearing angels say my name when I’m sleeping, and I know I’m going to heaven soon. You’ve taken such good care of me. Will you take care of him too?” she asked.

Y/n blinked away tears before speaking again. “Yes, Somie, I promise. I will help take care of your Appa. I will help Namjoonie and Jungkookie. We will make sure he is okay when it’s time for you to go.” After securing that promise, she returned to her usual happy, giggling self as Hoseok came back into the room apologizing for his rudeness at having to take the call.

All 3 men in her presence were crying after Y/n explained what was happening in Dasom’s body. Namjoon was crying hard into Jungkook’s shoulder. Hoseok had climbed into the bed with his baby and wrapped his body around hers protectively. He had pulled her into his arms and was crying into the top of her head as quietly as he could. Y/n herself was struggling not to sob with these men who were watching this whole thing.

“If you don’t mind, I’m going to step into the living room and call Dr. Park,” Y/n said before walking quickly from the room.

Y/n took her phone into the kitchen and dialed the number to the doctor’s office.

“Thank you so much for calling Seoul Pediatrics and Youth Care. My name is Taehyung. How can I help?”

“Hey Tae. It’s Y/n. I’m here with Dasom. Is Dr. Park around?”

“Hey Y/n! He just stepped out of an exam room. I’ll call him over,” Taehyung said happily.

“You might want to send him to his office, Tae. I don’t have good news.” Y/n’s voice broke at the end of the sentence and tears started flowing in earnest.

“Oh no! Let me put you on hold a minute, and we’ll both pick up in there,” Taehyung said before the overly cheery hold music started.

 Taehyung and Jimin had closed the door to Jimin’s office and picked up the call on speakerphone. Taehyung had warned him as well as he could that the news was grim, so Jimin had tried to steel himself for the call.

“Y/n, this is Dr. Park. What’s happening with Dasom?”

Jimin’s hands were shaking as Y/n relayed that Dasom was experiencing states of heavy sleep and semi-consciousness, periods of apnea, and she already had a fever.

“I think you’re right, Y/n. It does sound like she’s approaching end of life. I have 2 more appointments, but could you please let Hoseok know that Tae and I would like to stop by?”

At the end of the call, Jimin looked up at Taehyung’s glassy eyes and swallowed hard. He couldn’t even speak for a few minutes, so he squeezed Taehyung’s hand and they just sat there in silence composing themselves to endure the rest of the afternoon.

 Before she left that afternoon, Y/n kissed Dasom on the forehead softly and said, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Sweet Girl.”

Hoseok, Jungkook, and Namjoon all walked with her to the door. They were all still crying a little bit, but she hugged them all tightly before picking up her laptop case and bag.

“Dr. Park and Taehyung will be here in a bit, and I’m on call tonight. If anything happens, please call me, okay? I don’t care if it’s 3 am.”

 As much as he wanted to hurry to see Dasom, Jimin knew that he had to keep his head in the right place. Lucky for him, his final patients of the day were just general check-ups on a pair of siblings who were getting over the flu. He put on a smile and made sure that the pair were recovering appropriately. Their lungs were clear, so it had not turned into pneumonia. He sent them on their way with instructions to rest and keep up the increased liquids for a few days before going back to school.

Once his final patients left, Jimin charted the visits using his laptop then nearly bowled his receptionist over as she came around the corner. “Eunwoo, Taehyung and I are going to see Dasom. Her Hospice nurse called earlier, and it sounds like she’s dying. I may need you to reschedule some appointments for the day of the funeral.”

 Taehyung insisted on driving to the Jungs’ apartment. He and Jimin had been taking turns, but he knew that Jimin would be upset when they left this visit, and he didn’t want him taking a chance. They put on some soft classical music for the drive just for background noise.

“You ready for this, Chim?” Taehyung asked gently as he backed his car into a parking place at Hoseok’s apartment building.

“No. Not at all, but it’s part of my job, Tae.”

Neither of them spoke again until they were standing outside the door of the apartment. Taehyung squeezed Jimin’s hand and whispered, “Let’s go say goodbye to the Princess.”

 After Y/n had left, they all just stared at each other for a second. Hoseok was completely in shock. His baby had been fine yesterday, and today she was dying. He lifted his left hand and pinched himself hard to see if he was dreaming, but he didn’t wake up; this nightmare was very real.

“Can I have just a few minutes alone with her?” Jungkook asked softly through his tears.

“Of course, Kook,” Hoseok replied, waving him towards her room.

 Jungkook sat down on the side of the bed as close as he could get to her, and just looked at her. The first time he had met this beautiful girl, she’d been barely 10 months old toddling about the café at the bookshop on wobbly legs while holding onto Namjoon’s fingers. It was the first time he’d been in the shop, and she had taken one look at him and abandoned Namjoon. She’d reached up to him with a sweet smile and upheld hands, saying, “Up peez.” He hadn’t been able to resist her then and he couldn’t now. He loved her so much and she lit his life up so much. Dasom had lived the meaning of her name in every sense of the word. Hoseok had named her well: Love is what she truly was.

“Somie, its Uncle Kookie. I just want you to know how much I love you. I know you don’t remember the first time I saw you, and how you wanted me to pick you up even then, but you won me over that day,” Jungkook spoke softly to her through his sobs. “I love you very, very much, Princess. I want you to know that I will watch out for Joonie and your Appa, so please don’t worry about leaving him behind. We will make sure he will be okay. When it’s time for you to be our guardian angel, let go and fly.”

Jungkook kissed her gently on the cheek and stumbled out of the room. He couldn’t see through his tears, but he didn’t have far to go before Hoseok was hugging him tight. They were still standing at the head of the hallway sobbing into each other’s arms when Namjoon answered the door to let Dr. Park and Taehyung in.

 Jimin and Taehyung went together back to Dasom’s room. She was peacefully lying in the bed, but her breathing was very shallow when they entered the room. Jimin could feel his heart break and the pieces leapt up into his throat as he sat down on her bed beside her. He took his stethoscope from around his neck and listened to her heartbeat. It was definitely beating at a higher rate than normal as her little body desperately struggled to ward off the leukemia in her veins.

Hoseok had excused himself to the bathroom for a few minutes to try to calm down before coming into the room, so they were alone with her.

“Hi Princess! It’s TaeTae. I needed to come see your beautiful face one more time. I know that you are about to become a star in the sky, so I wanted to ask you a favor. When you get there, please go find my grandma and give her a hug for me. Then, both of my favorite ladies will be together. I know you’ll be looking down on us. Your family is going to be fine; I promise. Your Appa is a good, strong man, and he will be okay. I’ll miss seeing your smiling face,” Taehyung murmured to her softly before kissing her forehead gently. After speaking his gentle goodbye to her, he squeezed Jimin’s shoulder as he left the room to check on Hoseok.

Jimin had a much more difficult time finding words to say, so for a moment he just sat quietly and held her small hand in his own and thought back over the time since Jin had referred her to him as a patient.

“Dasom, it’s Dr. Chim. I just came by to check on you. Y/n called me and told me that you weren’t doing so well. You don’t seem to be in any pain, which is good,” he paused a moment when the tears started streaming down his face. “I’m sorry, Dasom. I’m so sorry that I wasn’t able to help you get better,” he whispered to her before rushing out of the room.

 Hoseok felt like he had no more tears left to cry. He had wept out every molecule of fluid in his body in the hours since Jungkook had called him. Namjoon and Jungkook had opted to spend the night, and Hoseok had told them to sleep in his room and he’d wake them if anything happened. He had planned to curl up in bed around Dasom so if she needed him, he’d be right there. He laid down beside her in her hospital bed and brushed his fingertips gently over her forehead. It was almost as if she sensed him since she curled up to him at that gentle touch and snuggled closer to his chest. He drifted off to a fitful sleep as soon as she settled down into his arms.

Sometime later, he woke up to her tiny hands touching his face. He opened his eyes to see her looking up at him and stroking his cheeks and the shape of his nose.

“Hi Appa,” she said softly.

“Hi, Baby.”

“I’m sorry I woke you up but I needed to see you one more time. I love you, Appa. Please don’t be sad, but it’s almost time for me to go,” she said with a soft smile.

“I’m so glad you woke me up, Somie,” he cried, trying to smile at her through the tears dripping down his cheeks.

“Can you see them, Appa? Can you see the angels? They’re so pretty.”

“I can’t see them, Darling. But they aren’t here for me,” he whispered to her. “You can go with them if they ask you to, okay? Please don’t stay for me. I’ll be alright.”

She just nodded and wiped his tears away with her little hands. After a few more minutes, she laid her head on his chest and put her arm around his waist. She drifted off to a deep sleep soon after, but Hoseok couldn’t bring himself to sleep anymore. He watched and counted every breath she took that night, and just held her small body to his chest for the last time. Just as the dawn was breaking and light was peeking through her window across their faces, Dasom took her last breath.

 Namjoon woke up to Hoseok’s nearly screaming sobs confused as to where he was, but when he opened his eyes, everything came smashing back in on him.

“Jungkook, get up! Something’s wrong,” he said as he flung the blankets back and grabbed his cell phone from the bedside table.

Namjoon practically ran down the hall to find Hoseok holding Dasom to his chest, sobbing and begging her to wake up. She looked like the fairest china doll he’d ever seen and she wasn’t moving, even with her father being as loud as he was.

“Oh my god. Seok, please, you have to calm down. We have to call Y/n,” Namjoon said soothingly as he reached out for his friend.

At that moment, Jungkook slipped past him into the room and wrapped his arms around Hoseok. “I got this, Joon. Go call her.”

Namjoon stepped into the living room and dialed Y/n’s familiar number. She answered on the second ring even though it was still super early.

“Hey, Y/n. It’s Namjoon. We need you to come. Please…I think…” he stopped to breathe in for a moment before he could continue. “I think Dasom is gone. Hobi is holding her and is nearly hysterical begging her to wake up.”

“Oh no. I’ll be right over, Namjoon. Just give me 20 minutes to drive there.”

After disconnecting the call, Namjoon stood in the living room trying to steel himself a bit. Hoseok wasn’t screaming anymore, but Namjoon could still hear his sobs echoing down the hallway. He was afraid they were going to have to sedate Hoseok to get him to let go of Dasom’s body at this point. Luckily, they’d already planned a basic service back when Hospice was called so that Hoseok could just mourn when Dasom passed instead of having to make major decisions. Namjoon took a few more deep breaths then walked back down the hall.

Jungkook had managed to get Hoseok to lay Dasom back down on her bed. After he put her down, it was almost as if all the bones in his body disintegrated and left the man in a crumple on the floor. Jungkook was wrapped around him trying to offer some measure of comfort while he was crying himself. Namjoon knelt down beside both of them and whispered that Y/n was on her way and she’d be here soon. When he heard Namjoon’s voice, Hoseok unfurled from Jungkook’s embrace and moved to Namjoon’s instead.

“Joonie, I thought we had more time. Can I go with her? Please? Please let me be with my baby,” Hoseok begged as he buried his face in Namjoon’s chest and fisted the sides of his shirt.

“Seok, I’m so sorry. It’s not the same, but we loved her too, and we will be with you every step of the way. I promise you that Kook and I will take care of you until you can stand again, okay?”

Before they could talk anymore, the doorbell rang. Jungkook got up and went to let Y/n in. Hoseok took a few deep breaths as he listed to Namjoon’s deep voice assuring that he wasn’t alone in the hellscape that his life had become and was no longer sobbing. Tears were still raining out of his eyes, but his chest had apparently finished caving in because there were no wracking screams or sobs leaving his mouth.

 Y/n had expected this to be a horrible death visit. She had known that when she had to officially pronounce Dasom, Hoseok was not going to do well. And what father out there would do well with having to bury their 4-year-old?

The scene she walked into was worse than she’d dreamed. Hoseok was curled in a ball on the floor, shirtless and bare feet, but flannel clad knees pulled to his chest and his bare back pressed against the rails of Dasom’s hospital bed. He was crying into his best friend’s chest and Namjoon was crying too. Jungkook’s face had been red from crying too when he answered the door for her, and she had been able to hear Hoseok’s screams during Namjoon’s phone call. She dropped her bag inside the door and knelt in front of the two men in her black scrubs, gently rubbing Namjoon’s back.

“Hoseok? Can you look at me?” she asked softly.

He leaned back from Namjoon and launched himself into her arms when she offered a hug. “I’m so sorry, Hoseok. Was she comfortable?”

He nodded for a second before speaking. “She woke me up a few hours ago rubbing my face. She told me she loved me then asked if I could see the angels. After we talked, she fell back asleep and I just held her over my heart and watched her leave me. Oh my god, Y/n, bring my baby back. Please! I need you to bring her back!”

Y/n just sat down in the floor then, scooting the fully broken father in between her legs and brought his head to her shoulder. She wrapped her arms around him and held him and let him cry for a bit, knowing that he just needed to get a bit of the grief out of his system. After a bit, she could feel his hysteria starting to slow down a bit, and she moved her hands to his shoulders to pull him back to look at him. He had stopped crying, but big tears where still standing on the apples of his cheeks and his eyes looked so incredibly lost.

“Hoseok, I’m going to stand up now and do the part I have to do for Hospice, okay? I have to officially pronounce that she’s gone. Do you want to stay while I do?” she murmured to him.

When he shook his head slightly, Y/n stood then let Namjoon lead Hoseok into the living room to sit him down. Jungkook remained behind, still crying, but softly mentioning that he knew which outfit that she should be buried in. He had gone to the closet and chosen Dasom’s favorite glittery purple princess dress and matching tiara. He laid it beside her on the bed and held her tiny, now cold hand as Y/n listened with her stethoscope for just a few minutes. Dasom was definitely gone, and Y/n officially pronounced her at 6:47 am. Y/n hugged Jungkook and left the room to give him a moment alone with Dasom before going into the living room and checking on the others.

Hoseok was beginning to succumb to the emotional exhaustion already, but his breathing had begun to return to a stuttered normal where he had wept so hard. Y/n hugged Namjoon and whispered that Jungkook wanted a moment to say goodbye alone, before turning to Hoseok. She crouched down before him where he was crumpled onto the sofa and took his hands before speaking.

“I’m all finished with her. Jungkook picked out her final outfit. I just wanted to see if you are ready for me to call the funeral director. It’s okay if you aren’t,” she said in a soothingly gentle voice.

Hoseok took a deep breath and nodded. “I think so. I can’t bear the thought of her getting cold though. Can we wrap her in a blanket?”

“Is there a certain one you want to wrap her in?”

“There is a purple one at the end of her bed. Its super soft. That’s the one she always wanted when she felt bad,” he whispered.

“Do you want me to do it? Or do you want to help?”

“I can’t. I don’t want to remember the way she looks cold and lifeless. I want to remember my happy, giggly baby.” Hoseok whimpered.

Jungkook had come back into the room when Y/n stood to go back and wrap a blanket around Dasom. Namjoon’s face was pressed into his chest and they were softly crying together. Y/n smiled sadly at them before heading down the hallway. She found the blanket easily enough that Hoseok had wanted her wrapped in. Y/n gently picked the tiny body up and held her to her chest as she spread the blanket out with one hand. She swaddled Dasom’s lifeless body in the blanket as if she were a large infant, then kissed her on the forehead.

“Bye, Baby Girl. I’ll keep my promise to you. I’ll take good care of your Appa,” she whispered before calling the funeral director.

 For Hoseok, time seemed to stop. He had no idea what day it was or how long it had been since Dasom had died. He knew that it couldn’t have been any more than a week, but he felt like his life had stopped the same moment hers had. Namjoon and Jungkook refused to leave him alone for any length of time and they’d practically moved in at this point. Hoseok only slept when the crippling sadness and exhaustion made him stagger down the hallway to Dasom’s room where he’d collapse into the “big girl bed” that she’d used for maybe two weeks before it had been replaced by a hospital bed. The only time he could sleep was when he was wrapped up in the sheets that still vaguely smelled of her baby powder scent with her stuffed puppy squeezed to his chest. In those moments, he could pretend that she was just across town with her Unca Joon and Unca Tookie and he could pick her up.

Hoseok is unsure how he survived the funeral. He remembers standing by the too small casket in a borrowed suit, locking his knees to remain on his feet, and shaking the hands of everyone he knew. He remembers his mother and sister crying softly beside him in the visitation line, and his father struggling to not let the tears fall. He remembers the pastor saying a few words and the prayers before they closed the casket. He remembers Namjoon holding him back from tackling the funeral director who closed the lid and to keep him from collapsing as he begged them not close his baby in a box. He remembers Y/n being there too and standing beside him at his insistence at the graveside service, the death grip he had on her hand, and he remembers the sweet amber scent of her perfume keeping him from going insane when they lowered the tiny casket into the hole in the ground. And he remembers Jungkook wrapping his arms around him and hiding his face in Jungkook’s chest when they started shoveling the dirt back over his daughter’s grave.

After the funeral, Namjoon and Jungkook drove him back home while his parents followed behind. His mother and sister came in and began trying to cook away the pain in their chests. They cooked enough food to feed nearly the entire Korean army it seemed. They made Hoseok sit down at the table in front of all the food, but he just stared at the chopsticks and the dishes like he’d never seen them before. After a few minutes, Namjoon helped him walk into his bedroom, and for the first time since they’d graduated college, Namjoon helped Hoseok change clothes and helped him into his bed. Hoseok just stared at him with empty eyes for a few minutes.

“Hey, Seok, I’m going to step into the kitchen and grab you a bottle of water. Then I’ll come lay down with you for a while, okay?” Namjoon told him.

When Namjoon came back, Jungkook came with him and they each curled their bodies around Hoseok’s and wrapped their arms around him. They both knew that he wasn’t doing well and wanted to provide as much support as possible. When they enveloped him in their arms, Hoseok shattered again. He cried these terrible sobs that sounded like they were scraping the inside of his chest out and left his voice raspy and broken. Namjoon and Jungkook looked into each other’s tear-filled eyes and knew that they were in for a long road.

 Over the next several weeks, Hoseok walked around an empty shell of the father he had been. He found himself searching the apartment for Dasom sometimes, then breaking down when he remembered he’d never find her again. After a while, he threw himself into work so that he wouldn’t have to come home until late. Namjoon and Jungkook practically moved in with him for the first 3 weeks after the funeral until Hoseok had insisted that he was okay and that he needed to bite the bullet and get used to his childless house alone. The first night they had relented and gone home, Namjoon called him every hour to make sure he was still okay. At midnight, Jungkook had turned Namjoon’s ph0ne completely off so he’d give Hoseok some space.

Hoseok needed time alone to remember his daughter and try to come to terms with her death. While he did take advantage of some of the bereavement services that were offered, he never felt totally comfortable speaking with a gentleman who had never even met Dasom about her life and the giant black hole her death had created in his chest. So, he worked. He worked nearly 90 hours a week for practically a month after Namjoon and Jungkook had returned home. He needed something to fill all the time he had designated for caring for Dasom. It helped him to be so exhausted at the end of the day that he could fall into bed and sleep immediately without feeling any of the sorrow that had consumed him.

Just 2 short months after Dasom’s funeral, Jungkook had needed to attend an out of town conference primarily for gamers. He had reserved a booth there nearly a year in advance, before Dasom had ever gotten sick. Hoseok insisted that he’d be fine and that Namjoon should go with Jungkook, so they’d reluctantly agreed. They left on a Friday morning and were slated to return on the following Tuesday. Hoseok worked in the shop diligently, but the problem came on Sunday. The shop was always closed on Sundays, and he was so far ahead on work that he had nothing he could do on that day, so he was stuck at home. He did well until dinnertime that night. He had thrown himself into doing some research into some less well-known authors in the area that he wanted to feature in the shop and planning a display.

When he realized that he should eat dinner, he warmed up leftovers from the night before and decided to have a glass of wine. A single glass of wine with dinner became a bottle and a half as he tried to drown the ache in his chest. Before he knew it, he was completely inebriated after having finished the second bottle. In his drunken grief-stricken hysteria, Hoseok lost it completely.

 It was 2 am on Monday morning when Y/n’s phone rang. She had kept her promise to Dasom and kept in regular contact with Hoseok. He had been doing okay, or so he portrayed to everyone else, but Y/n had a little more experience with the cycles of grief. She knew that he was putting on a good mask, but it would crumble sooner or later.

“Hello?”

“Hi Y/n, is ‘oseok. Can you come over? I can’t find Dasom.”

“Hobi, honey, how much have you had to drink?” she asked softly. He was mumbling a lot and slurring his words.

“Um…I don’t know? A bottle or two of that red wine Joon likes?”

“Oh wow. Um…yeah. I’ll be over in a little bit, okay? Can you make sure the door is unlocked?”

Hoseok hung up after promising he’d unlock the door. While she was not sure what had led up to this, she got up and dressed in leggings and a comfortable sweater to head over. She didn’t know what she’d find, but she knew she had a long night ahead of her. Luckily, she had the next 3 days off from work after her weekend on call.

 When Y/n got to the apartment, she knocked lightly at the door before entering. Luckily, Hoseok had kept his word and the door was unlocked. She paused at the door to remove her shoes and smiled softly when she saw Dasom’s tiny pink house slippers still sitting on the mat beside the door.

“Hoseok?” she called as she walked through the living room. He wasn’t in the kitchen or the living room.

“In here,” he replied, followed by the distinctive sound of vomiting.

She found him, in nothing but his boxer briefs, knelt in front of the toilet in his master bathroom. The skin of his shoulders and up his neck was flushed from the alcohol and from getting sick from drinking too much. Y/n knelt down beside him and rubbed his back softly for a moment before speaking.

“Oh Hobi,” she murmured. She stood and wet a washcloth in cool water and placed it over the back of his neck, before heading toward the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and some painkillers.

“Please, don’t go. Don’t leave me,” he begged when he had a moment of a break between heaving.

“I’m just going to the kitchen, Hobi. I’ll be right back, okay?”

When he nodded, she quickly gathered the water and medication and placed them on his bedside table. Then, she turned back his bedsheets and fluffed the pillow on the side of the bed closest to the bathroom door before joining him in the bathroom. She found him sitting with his back against the cool porcelain of the bathtub with his head tilted back and his eyes closed. She wet another washcloth and gently used it to wash some of the sweat off of his face. He tilted his face into her touch, and tears slipped out of his closed eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he whimpered. “I just wanted to not feel so much hurt.”

“Hoseok, I wish I could help more with that. I hate seeing you hurt so much, but the only thing that will help is time. In time, you will be able to look back on the memories of your baby girl and smile at the light she was instead of sobbing. But for now, sob when you need to.” When she spoke, he opened his eyes and looked at her for a moment. His eyes were glossy with tears and the alcohol coursing through his system. “You feel okay to walk to bed?”

He nodded, so Y/n helped him stand and stood with him while he brushed his teeth. She took the washcloth from the back of his neck and hung it over the side of the tub. When he was ready, she wrapped her arm around his waist to make sure he’d stay steady until he got to the bed. He seemed to have begun to sober up a bit after being sick, so she helped him lay down and tucked him under the blankets. She turned to walk out of the bedroom, but he grabbed her arm.

“Please…don’t leave me. Stay?”

She just nodded, and he shuffled over in the bed to make room for her. She laid down beside him and turned off the lamp.

“Y/n? Could you hold me?” he asked softly.

“Of course, Hobi. Come here,” she whispered back. When she opened her arms to him, he curled into her and put his head on her chest. She could feel him crying and shaking a bit, so she hummed a song and rubbed his back soothingly until he fell asleep.

 It was several hours later when Hoseok woke up. The first thing he noticed was that his head was throbbing. After a few moments, the memories of the wine, vomiting, and Y/n came back to him. His eyes flew open, and he was a little surprised to find himself alone in his bed. He remembered her holding him until he fell asleep and the little song she was humming to him. Hoseok gingerly sat on the edge of the bed and saw the water and medication on the bedside table. He took it and walked into his bathroom to brush his teeth again. He pulled on some lounge pants and a white tee shirt before walking into the living room.

“Y/n?” he called.

“I’m in the kitchen!”

He walked toward his kitchen and saw her propped against the sink with her phone pressed to her ear, and ingredients for a possible breakfast spread across the counter.

“He’s okay, I promise, Joon. You had to know that this was bound to happen eventually, right?” she said with a smile into the phone. Hoseok could hear Namjoon’s voice murmuring on the line, probably fretting over him. “Namjoonie, I’m a nurse. He called the best possible person. Besides, he was puking his guts out when I got here, so I’m pretty sure he learned his lesson. And with the way he’s squinting at me right now, I’d say he has a hangover from hell…Yeah, you do that. See you soon.”

She hung up the phone before turning to Hoseok. “Think you can handle some breakfast?” she asked.

“Nothing much. I don’t think I could handle the smell of eggs or anything like that cooking.”

Y/n just nodded and popped some bread in the toaster before turning to pour him a cup of coffee. He handed him the coffee mug before pouring her own. When he added milk to his, she giggled, sipping her own coffee black.

“Wanna talk about it?” she asked when the toast popped up. She spread just a bit of peanut butter on the slice before cutting it in half and handing it to him before treating the second slice the same way for herself. “The peanut butter is high in protein and will help take the edge off the hangover.”

He thanked her before sitting down on the stool behind the kitchen counter. He took a small bite of the toast and chewed thoughtfully before speaking. “Thank you for coming last night. I know you didn’t have to, so it means a lot that you cared enough to come check up on me then stay over.”

“Hobi, I care about you. Of course I would have come when you called.”

 That night was the only night he tried to drink his pain away. He had learned that it just made him feel worse in the long run. He began to simply take it a day at a time and tried not to work so much. Around nine months after Dasom’s death, Hoseok finally decided that he needed to clean out her room. Leaving everything like she was just going to come back was making it so much harder to heal. Plus he wanted to donate some of her things to the children’s ward. He had called and spoken with Taehyung to see what they needed, and he had a list of the things he could take them. Once he had decided, he called Y/n to see if she could help. They had begun talking more often since the night that he’d called her in a drunken stupor, and he considered her a good friend. He knew that Namjoon and Jungkook wouldn’t be able to hold it together in cleaning out her things, but Y/n would be. Something about her was soothing to Hoseok, and he just couldn’t put his finger on it.

Y/n came over early on a Saturday morning to help Hoseok empty out Dasom’s room. They had several boxes to fill. Hoseok had already removed the bed and had labeled each of the boxes. One box was to be taken to a local shelter that helped women and children who were escaping domestic violence situations, one box was to be taken to Dr. Park’s office for the children’s ward, a small box for things that Hoseok wanted to keep, and another small box of things to give to Namjoon and Jungkook. Hoseok had already taken all of the tiny hats and headbands that Dasom had collected to Dr. Park’s office except for one. The tiara she had worn the day that they had gotten the news that she was dying was in the box for Jungkook. He had asked for that one, since he knew it was her favorite and it was the one Dasom would always clip in his hair. Hoseok had moved her yellow puppy plushie into his room. It sat on his bed all day amongst his blankets and pillows so he could squeeze it tightly the days he missed her so much he felt like he couldn’t breathe.

Hoseok and Y/n worked diligently that day. Neither said much, but together they were able to clear out the room. Dasom hadn’t accumulated that many possessions in her short life, and they were able to empty out the room in a little over 6 hours. She helped him load the boxes into his car. He wanted to deliver them himself to the different places. He knew that Dasom would have been so happy to know that other little girls were going to have her princess dresses and dollhouse; she had always been so giving.

“Y/n, could I ask you something before you go?”

“Sure, Hobi. What’s up?”

“After I drop off all of these things, would you go to dinner with me? I don’t think I should be alone tonight,” he replied.

“That sounds good. I’ll go home to shower and grab some pajamas and my toothbrush. How about I meet you back here at 6 oclock?”

Hoseok delivered everything to their respective donation points except for the box for Namjoon and Jungkook. He’d take theirs with him to the shop on Monday. After dropping everything off, he returned to his emptier apartment. Even though he knew that he had needed to do this, it still was difficult. The familiar ache in his chest had lessened some and he was able to remember happy times with his baby as he sorted through her things. He showered and thought about the day and how much help Y/n had been, and not just physically. Her presence was soft and soothing, and it was no wonder that she made a fantastic Hospice nurse. If the way she had handled Dasom’s Hospice period was any indication of the way she did her day to day work, she helped a lot of families. In the past year or so since meeting her, Y/n had become a welcome addition to his life and the lives of Namjoon and Jungkook. They often all spent time together playing games or watching movies. She’d even tried her best to teach Namjoon to cook Jungkook’s favorite meal at one point.

In thinking it over, Hoseok realized that he hadn’t actually been on a real date since he was with Dasom’s mother. While dinner with Y/n wasn’t an official date, he found himself wondering if she would be willing to go on an actual date with him. Even the thought of asking her made him a little nervous, so he decided that he’d ponder that a bit more when he wasn’t about to spend extended amounts of time with her.

 Y/n rushed through her shower to spend a little extra time getting ready. In the amount of time she had spent with Hoseok since caring for Dasom, they had gotten very close. Lately, she had realized that she’s developed a huge crush on the man with the heart shaped smile. While having dinner together as friends wasn’t a huge deal, and she knew that the invitation to stay overnight with him was just as a comfort measure to him, she couldn’t help but be a little nervous because of her stupid crush. Besides, she told herself, he was still in mourning for his child; he didn’t want a relationship with her.

They hadn’t discussed where they were going to have dinner, so she opted to dress in an outfit that would be appropriate for a variety of places. She opted for a light-yellow sundress with a jean jacket over it and ballet flats. She packed shorts and an oversized sweater for sleeping in and an outfit to wear home the following afternoon. After packing her things for the overnight stay, Y/n finished curling her hair in loose soft curls and pinned it out of her eyes, then did just a touch of natural makeup.

She pulled into the parking lot of Hoseok’s apartment complex at 5:56 pm, and decided she’d just take her overnight bag up to his apartment and they could leave from there together. She glanced down at her phone after ringing the doorbell, and when Hoseok opened the door, she looked up to find him in just a pair of jeans and still towel drying his hair.

“Hi,” she said softly, “I’m a few minutes early, but I thought I’d bring everything up.”

Hoseok smiled and apologized for not being ready yet. “I just lost track of time in the shower. Go ahead and take your bag into my bedroom. I’ll just finish drying my hair and grab a shirt then I’ll be ready to go.”

Hoseok walked back into his bathroom as Y/n placed her overnight bag just outside his closet door. When he’d opened the door to see her standing there in her cute dress and her hair curled that way, it had nearly taken his breath. She was gorgeous in such a soft, gentle way that he was a little bit addicted to. Something about her just felt like home.

 They had opted to go have sushi at a place near Hoseok’s apartment, so they had just walked over. During dinner, they had laughed and joked as much as possible to lighten up the solemnity of the day. Hoseok had to admit that he felt better after laughing and just being around Y/n. As they were walking back to the apartment, the sun was just starting to set. Without thinking about it, Hoseok reached over and took her hand, linking their fingers together. He felt her stiffen up for just a second before relaxing and squeezing his hand. He looked down at their linked hands and smiled at her.

“I’m sorry, but I’ve wanted to hold your hand all evening. I hope you don’t mind,” he said to her shyly.

“I don’t mind at all, Hobi. I kinda like it.”

 When they got back to the apartment, they decided to watch random reality tv shows and just lounge around. Y/n slipped into his master bathroom to change into the shorts and sweater she’d brought to sleep in. When she got the sweater on, she realized that it covered her shorts completely but there was nothing she could do about it. She stepped out into the living room to find that he’d changed into a tee and some lounge pants and was pouring them each a glass of wine.

He turned around with the glasses in his hand and found her standing in the living room in just a sweater that was so big that it kept slipping off of one of her shoulders.

“I swear I have shorts on. It just looks like I don’t because my sweater is so big. I just didn’t realize it when I packed it,” she said, nervously fiddling with the seams on her sleeves.

“Oh…okay,” he stammered. “You look so cute standing there. Seriously, my heart is pounding.” His face turned bright red as he realized that he’d actually said that out loud, but her giggle in response was enough to make him feel less embarrassed.

They curled up on the couch, sipping the wine and making fun of the rash decisions that the contestants on the reality show were making. To Hoseok, this felt like something they did every day, and he realized that he kind of wished it was something they did every day. After finishing the show they were watching, Hoseok glanced over to see Y/n dozing against the arm of the sofa. He smiled softly before deciding he’d just carry her to his bed. They hadn’t discussed sleeping arrangements, but there was no way he was going to make her sleep on his couch after everything she’d done for him that day. He scooped her into his arms bridal style and started towards his room. She woke up just as he was laying her down on his bed. He’d laid her on his side of the bed without thinking about it and was tugging the blanket up over her when her eyes fluttered open.

“What’re you doing, Hobi? I can’t steal your bed.”

“I’m a gentleman, Y/n. I refuse to let you sleep on my couch. I’ll sleep on the couch; it’s no big deal,” he smiled at her.

“It is to me. Can’t you just sleep in here with me? I promise I’ll be good,” she pouted at him.

He chuckled softly at the way she’d phrased it, then finally agreed. “Okay, Darling. If you insist. I’m just going to go turn off the living room light and the tv. I’ll be right back.”

She was already back asleep when he returned to the bedroom with her back facing the door. Hoseok went to the other side of the bed and climbed under the blankets. The light from the full moon was streaming in between the sheer curtains hanging over the window, and it caressed her cheek softly, making her glow. Y/n looked beautiful in sleep, and something about the way that she was snuggled into his pillow like she belonged there made his heart ache in such a good way. He kissed her forehead gently before whispering, “Goodnight, Darling.”

 Hoseok woke up the next morning to the smell of fresh coffee and something savory that definitely had bacon in it, and his bed empty. He used the restroom and brushed his teeth before following his nose out to find Y/n singing softly in his kitchen as she pulled a beautiful quiche out of the oven. She had to have been awake for a while to have put this together.

“That smells amazing,” he murmured as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

“Thank you,” she giggled. “I hope you don’t mind that I raided your fridge and made breakfast.”

“Not at all. I rarely make time to eat more than a slice of toast as I’m running out the door to the shop, so this is a serious treat for me.”

Y/n sliced up the pie and plated it before grabbing a fruit salad out of the fridge she’d also made. Hoseok moaned at the first bite he took of the quiche. It was so good. The crust was flaky, the eggs were cheesy and there were just enough chunks of vegetables and bacon to make every bite a little different. Paired with the tangy pineapple and sweet strawberries in the fruit salad made it twice as good. Y/n blushed a little bit at his visceral reaction to the food she’d made before they began chatting about the day. By the time that Namjoon had called to see if they wanted to catch a matinee of some horror movie that Jungkook wanted to see, Hoseok had eaten two big slices of the quiche.

“I need to shower, but I’m so full,” Hoseok whined.

“I didn’t tell you to try to eat half the quiche at once,” Y/n laughed. “Go shower. I’ll put everything away and clean up our breakfast dishes.”

 Y/n had fallen asleep quickly after Hoseok had carried her to his bed. She’d woken up just after 7:30 with her head pressed to Hoseok’s bare chest, her ear pressed just above his heartbeat. He’d had both arms wrapped loosely around her. It felt so good that it scared her a bit; she’d wriggled her way out of his arms and tucked a pillow in her place. When she was stressed or needed to think, she cooked, so she made breakfast. She’d actually been on her second cup of coffee when Hoseok had stumbled into the kitchen in all of his golden glory, and when he’d moaned at the taste of the food she’d made, her heart stuttered in her chest. It had made her wondered how else she could make him make that sound, and that was something she was not prepared to deal with, so she decided to shove those thoughts deep down and not consider them again.

She covered the quiche with plastic wrap and slid it and the fruit salad into his refrigerator. There was enough left for him to have that for several more breakfasts. She began to sing softly to herself as she emptied the coffee pot and washed up the plates, mugs, and silverware from their breakfast. She was rinsing the last of them when Hoseok slid his arms around her waste and snuggled her into a hug.

“Thank you,” he whispered to her.

“You have nothing to thank me for.”

“Yes, I do. You took beautiful care of my daughter, and you are still taking care of me in subtle ways. So thank you. I wish she’d had someone like you to be her mom.”

Y/n sat the mug down, then turned around in Hoseok’s arms to face him. He had tears on his cheeks as she wrapped her arms around him and held him tight.

“I’m sorry for getting emotional. I was just thinking about Dasom in the shower. If she had never died, I’d never have met you. And while I wish sometimes she was still here, I would never want her to suffer the way she did for any longer,” he whispered through his tears. “If she’d never died, we’d have never met and you wouldn’t be making my heart skip beats by singing while you clean my kitchen. I don’t know how to feel about that thought, but I don’t want to lose this chance at happiness. I guess what I’m saying is that I’m still a lot broken and a bit damaged from losing my daughter, but I like you a lot.”

“Oh Hobi,” Y/n smiled. “I like you too. I never told you, but Dasom made me promise to take care of you after she was gone. Keeping my promise to her has been a joy in itself, and when I woke up with my head on your chest this morning, I kept thinking how much she’d have laughed and teased me for falling for her Appa.”

Hoseok pressed his forehead to Y/n’s and closed his eyes. “She so would have. And she’d have asked me why I hadn’t given you kisses yet.”

He opened his eyes and looked into hers for just a moment. When all he saw was a soft happiness in her eyes, he pressed his lips to hers. She sank into the kiss slowly, slipping her fingers into his shower dampened hair. When he pulled away, they just stood staring at each other. He knew that they needed to take it slow, but he could feel the gap that was still in his chest from Dasom’s death closing up just a little bit. Y/n herself had been so healing to him just being there for him. They stood there for a few minutes, just holding on to each other before Hoseok spoke again.

“Why don’t you ride with me to the movie later? We can tell Joonie and Kookie about us. But there is a stop I want to make first.”

 Hoseok parked in the parking lot of the cemetery where Dasom was buried a couple of hours later. Y/n was sitting in the passenger seat holding a beautiful bouquet of flowers for him to leave on her grave.

“This is the first time I’ve been back here since the day we buried her, Y/n,” he sighed. “But I felt like I needed to do this. Just stay here. I won’t be long, I promise.”

She nodded before handing him the flowers. He got out and stood beside the car for just a moment before walking down the pathway that lead to the section designated for children. He knelt down in front of the tombstone and laid the flowers just at the base of the stone.

“Hi, my Love. I’m sorry I haven’t been to visit you here, but I’ve had a hard time adjusting to you being in heaven without me. Joonie and Kookie have taken good care of me. Y/n too,” he stopped speaking when the sobs collected in his throat before spilling out. “Speaking of Y/n, I kissed her in our kitchen this morning, Somie. I’m sure you’re looking down asking me what took so long, but your Appa can be so silly sometimes. Ah, Somie. I wish you were still here with us. I wish Y/n could have been your Eomma, but I wouldn’t have been able to meet her if you hadn’t gone to heaven.”

Hoseok stopped speaking for a moment to trace Dasom’s name on the tombstone. After he brought his hand back, a purple butterfly landed on his knee. It felt to him like that tiny butterfly was his baby girl acknowledging his words and telling him that she was okay. The butterfly fluttered it’s wings a few times before fluttering away, but it was enough to add a balm to his heart.

“Thank you for the butterfly, Baby Girl. I bet you are the most beautiful angel in heaven. Keep watching over me, yeah? I love you,” he whispered before wiping his tears and standing up.

As he walked slowly back to the car to rejoin Y/n, he knew that he still had a long way to go with healing, but he felt like he was finally making a solid step in the right direction. While he still missed his daughter, he knew that she’d want him to carry on without her, and for now, that was enough.

[xmxisxforxmaybe]

Remnants, Part VI

LOTS happens. If you’ve got questions, shoot me an ask and I’ll answer if it won’t spoil the plot : )

Part I,  Part II,  Part III,  Part IV,  Part V

Summary: You are in the midst of formulating your dissertation, but you’ve hit a wall. Your doting aunt, Rebecca, has a solution that brings you face to face with Ahkmenrah, Fourth King of the Fourth King. As the connection between you and Ahkmenrah grows, and as the secrets of his ancient tablet unlock, the once-king will find himself faced with a difficult choice.

    Thanks so much to @kitkatcronch @kpopperotp12 @seafrost-fangirl  @sassystrawberryk and @perfect-rami for reading : ) If anyone else wants added to the taglist, let me know. I’ve greatly appreciated all of the feedback!

    Warnings: Smut, again. Also, some talk of incest in case that is a trigger for you. Ahk is a solid 20 years of age to be certain to avoid any squick factor.

* * * * *

Two weeks had passed since you took Ahkmenrah out of the museum, and you had been buried in pre-semester work. Summer was ending and soon all of NYU’s students would be returning to school. Once the undergrads returned, you also worked as a TA in addition to your work as an RA. You had to manage your time carefully to make sure you were going to be able to defend your dissertation in April, and that meant a lot more nights of sleeping so you could fill your days with writing.

 A few days after your night out, you had popped into the museum to tell Ahk that you were just busy, you weren’t avoiding him. He said he understood, although the happiness in his eyes at seeing you quickly faded when he realized you wouldn’t be back for a while. Nevertheless, he answered the few questions you had, and when it came time to leave, he wrapped you up in a big hug and shot you that megawatt smile.

 It bothered you to be away, but at the same time, you knew the power of distance. You tried not to think too much about that night between the two of you. If only you were capable of applying your work ethic to your will power, because as soon as you resolved to let it be a one-night thing, another part of you thought, why not have a repeat? You were two consenting adults who cared about one another and had great chemistry. Just because one of you died for half of a day didn’t mean that taking your relationship to a more intimate level was wrong—it worked for Buffy and Sookie, twice, for a while anyway . . .

You also had the precedent of Ryan; things worked out alright with the end of the sex-side of your arrangement.

 After apologizing profusely to all of your friends for double-booking yourself that night, you made an effort to spend more time with people who were of the normal, totally alive variety. You had lunch with Ahmad and Jess, drinks with Chelsea, and you saw Timmy and Ryan at school during the week. You and Ryan companionably worked on your dissertations in the lounge. The Monday after, he asked a few questions about Ahkmenrah and you were as honest as you could be.

 During that conversation, you told Ryan it was time to stop the sex side of your relationship.

 “So, just friends, then?”

 “Back to the basics for us, yes.”

 “But you’re not looking to make this guy your boyfriend?”

 “Nope.”

 “Alrighty.”

 So, Ry just dropped it; you were both busy and determined to get as much written prior to the start of term as possible, and honestly, you made great writing buddies.

 That conversation went so well with Ryan, you thought maybe this could work with Ahk. You just had to set the same boundaries with him that you had with Ryan.

 You made up your mind to talk to Ahkmenrah about it as soon as you finished your current chapter and sent it off to your chairs for review.

* * * * *

“Ahkmenrah?” you questioned as you looked around his exhibit, wondering where he could be.

 “I’m in here, Y/N.”

 You walked behind the large display stone in Ahkmenrah’s exhibit. He was sprawled out amidst a scattering of hieroglyphs written on notebook paper. His tablet was in the middle of the floor, glowing slightly, and on the back of the wall of his exhibit, there were arrangements of hieroglyphs tacked up in three rows of three, just like his tablet. So far, there were sets labelled, “Control/Command,” “Open Doorway,” “Armies of Undead,” and a few more that you didn’t know the translations for.

 “I’ve been experimenting,” Ahkmenrah mumbled from the floor, his hand scribbling away on a piece of paper. “I really like modern writing utensils.”

 “I see this, and yeah, the pen is a great invention.”

 “Indeed!”

 “Care to elaborate on what you’re doing, my mad scientist?”

 “If the tablet has the power to bring the museum to life, surely it can do more. Just like on the night I was able to use it to call back the exhibits—you can see the arrangement for that command on the wall there,” Ahkmenrah said, not looking up from his notebook and waving vaguely toward the wall.

 “What else have you figured out it can do?”

 “Open a portal into the underworld, summon an army of the undead.”

  You were stunned, but in order to be diplomatic you offered, “Is there anything I can do to help?”

 “I think this is something I need to figure out on my own, but thank you,” Ahkmenrah said, now rereading over what he had been writing.

 Ahk was wearing your NYU sweats and a t-shirt from the museum gift shop. Apparently, a few things had changed since you’d been away.

 “Does Larry know what you’ve been up to?”

 “Larry is not my keeper, Y/N. He’s the guardian of the exhibits in the museum.”

 “So, that’s a no.”

 “I do expect that Rebecca has figured it out because those signs appeared the other day,” Ahkmenrah said gesturing to the “Under construction, DO NOT ENTER” banners that spanned from the stone walls to the wall of the museum.

 “Smart.”

 It made for the perfect place for Ahkmenrah to work, and your aunt possessed your same insatiable curiosity. You made a mental note to text her and meet for lunch to talk about this.

 You settled in behind Ahkmenrah and reached up to massage his shoulders, enjoying the feeling of his hard muscles relaxing under your ministrations.

 A small hum of pleasure sounded deep within Ahk’s throat, a sound that made your thighs tingle in remembrance of your night together.  

 You shifted up onto your knees so your lips could reach the back of his neck. You placed a small kiss at the base, just above the material of his shirt, and Ahk stiffened, his muscles tensing immediately.

 “Y/N, what are you doing?”

 “Kissing you,” you said as you moved your lips up a fraction of an inch and pressed them to his golden skin again.

 “That was a one-time thing. We can’t—"

 “But I want to. And I know you do, too.”

 Your lips had traveled to just behind his ear and as you took the lobe between your lips and sucked, you suddenly found yourself flat on your back on top of Ahk’s research, the tablet, still glowing, inches from your head.  

 His gaze was a mixture of defeat and conquest. You had defeated his resolve not to complicate things between you and now he wanted to show you just how good this kind of complication could be.

 He pinned your arms above your head, his thigh pushing tightly against your center as he straddled your thigh to hold you in place.

 “I won’t share you. I don’t care if that’s unfair, but if you want this, you can’t have him, too.”

 “He’s just a friend now.”

 “Like I am just a friend?”

 “I promise, no one else will be this kind of friend with me. I am a one-man kinda gal.”

 “You would declare yourself my concubine?” Ahkmenrah said, his mouth twitching with mirth.

 “You could declare yourself my concubine, former pharaoh.”

 “Always a pharaoh. But for you, I think I would declare myself anything you wished.”

 As Ahkmenrah bent his lips to yours and claimed your mouth, his words washed over you like a lust-filled rain. He kissed you into a puddle of pliancy, shifting his position so he was between your legs. His clothed cock was rubbing against the juncture between your legging-clad thighs. You felt like this was the most exquisite way to spend an evening at the museum yet . . . until the clopping of Teddy’s horse’s hooves startled the both of you.

 “Fuck,” you hissed.

 “Come on,” Ahk said. And the two of you took off in the direction of the forgotten storage area you used on the night you brought Ahkmenrah’s clothes.

 As soon as the door shut, Ahkmenrah yanked off his t-shirt, standing sexily in just your pair of sweats, his arousal evident against the loose fabric.

 You took off your shirt, bra, and leggings, leaving yourself clad only in a pair of icy-blue lace cheekies. You dropped to your knees in front of Ahk and ran your hands across his abdomen and around to squeeze his ass.

 He was staring at you with those wide, polychromatic eyes, his pupils dilated, and his lower lip tucked between his teeth. He ran his fingers over your arms and you hugged him close, nuzzling the bulge in his sweats, dragging your teeth over his covered cock to tease him.

 Ahkmenrah clearly didn’t care for your teasing and pulled himself free to stroke his length, enticing you to take him in your mouth.

 You licked his cock from base to tip, flattening your tongue to deliver as much of the wet, warm sensation to Ahk as possible before slowly swallowing him. You sucked him off, relishing in the salty, earthy taste of him.

 With a growl, Ahkmenrah backed away from your lips, leaving you a little dazed at his sudden movement. He hoisted you up by grabbing under your elbows and then backed you into a stack of boxes. He lifted you, and pushing your panties aside, entered you with one hard thrust.

 Ahkmenrah flung his hand over your mouth to cut off your obnoxious cry of pleasure, and his shoulders shook as he laughed and grinned at you.

 “My gods, you are not at all experienced in the art of subtle liaisons.”

 “Exactly how much experience do you have, huh?”

 He grinned mischievously, “In all of our talks, you never asked me about my sex life.”

 “That’s because I was trying to control myself by working really, really hard not to think about it.”

 “Mmm, I suppose in this area, field research is the best way to learn.”

 “Ahk?”

 “Yes, my queen?”

 “Move.”

 And he did.

 He fucked you so hard that you ended up knocking the boxes off of the shelf and the two of you finished your orgasms while on a toppled heap of dusty relics, some poking into your ass and your back but you didn’t care.

 Still catching your breath, Ahkmenrah pulled you up out of the pile of rubble and held you flush against his body until your thighs stopped trembling. He was so warm, and you loved hearing his heart beat so soundly against his chest, knowing that you’re the one who brought him to such a high.  

 Once you were steady, you stepped back from Ahkmenrah and reached up to kiss him, grasping the sides of his face and running your thumbs across his cheekbones.

 You looked into his eyes and asked, “So, did you have a harem?”

 Ahkmenrah laughed before replying, “Curious, hmm? But the answer is no, as I had not yet married.”

 “How long did you rule before your death?” you asked while redressing.

 “I inherited the throne at 15. Father was aging and wanted to ensure our family continued to rule. It was a controversial choice because I was not the eldest.”

 “No, Kahmunrah was. And you had three older sisters, too?”

 “I did. My brother was a bit . . . reckless. Father wanted what was best for the kingdom. It was not a personal choice, rather a choice for what was best for the people. Kahmun just could not understand that,” Ahkmenrah finished, a faraway look in his eyes.

 He continued, “I died . . . right before my marriage to Sitmut.”

 You furrowed your brows, inventorying the list of Ahkmenrah’s sisters.

 “Your sister.”

 Ahkmenrah shook his head, coming out of whatever he had been remembering.

 “Yes, my most beloved sister. She was only a year and a half older than me. We were very close as children, so she was my first choice.”

 You pursed your lips, processing the information. You knew that pharaohs, especially those who had maintained rule over an extended period of time, rarely married outside of their families, so the information wasn’t unexpected.

 Ahkmenrah moved to stand in front of you, his hands resting on your upper arms.

 “I would have chosen you if I had known you then.”

 You snorted, “I think not. Duty before love, right?”

 You almost swallowed your tongue when you realized what you had just said, your cheeks growing hot.

 “Not that I’m implying we’re in love holy fucking hell we’ve only known each other for like two months and we just started with the sex thing and—

 Ahkmenrah grinned, and put his finger against your lips, and said, “I knew what you meant. Although, ‘now the lady doth protest too much, methinks.’”

 “You can quote Shakespeare?”

 Ahkmenrah rolled his eyes. “I went to Cambridge, remember?”

 You quietly laughed, and he pulled you in to hug you, squeezing you against his solid body. You wrapped your arms around him and nuzzled into his neck.

 “You know marrying siblings is pretty much illegal, forbidden now?”

 “That was something Jack and I talked at length about. It explained a lot, honestly. The royals had many still births, and we often heard tales of other monstrous deformities. We just assumed that the gods had chosen to curse those children.”

 “You seem to have turned out alright. More than alright, actually,” you said smiling.

 “My mother and father weren’t siblings. My mother was the only child of my grandfather’s brother. She and my father were deeply in love, had been since their youth.”

 “I remember reading the story of their marriage in your papyruses. Really, really big wedding.”

 “The longest celebration of a marriage Egypt had ever known.”

 “Do you miss them?”

 “More than you could know, Y/N. In fact, I hope you never have to know what it feels like to miss a person like that.”

 You squeezed Ahk, and he kissed the top of your head.

 “We should get back. And hope that no one heard your cries of pleasure.”

 “Excuse me. I wasn’t in here by myself!”

 Ahkmenrah grinned, a million-dollar smile, and it melted your insides every goddamn time.

 * * * * *

 “With the de-evolution of Ra into Aten, Akhenaten was able to propagate his monotheistic cult; however, when Akhenaten’s secondary wife, Kiya, was gifted the title, “God’s daughter,” the parallels between Akhenaten’s cult and Christianity—”

 “Fuck,” you growled as the knocking on your apartment door interrupted your writing.  

 Once again, you were wrapped up in drafting your chapters. Your conversation with Ahkmenrah about marriage had sparked a new idea and you wanted to get it outlined so you could fill in the holes with research.

 You looked through the peep hole and saw Ryan’s sandy-colored hair.

 Now you were more puzzled than annoyed. You answered the door in your sweats, with your hair in a messy bun, and your glasses slipping down your nose.

 “Hey,” you said, lamely.

 “Hey yourself,” Ryan answered you as he walked in.

 You waited. It was always better to let the other person go first, especially when you didn’t know what the fuck was going on.  

 Instead of talking, Ryan walked to the tea kettle, knowing that it would be full because you always had tea while you worked on your dissertation, and poured himself a cup, moving around your kitchen with a practiced ease. A pang of longing, knowing that you’d never see Ahk do the same, coursed through you.

 Ryan sipped his tea.

 You couldn’t wait any longer.

 “You’re killing me with suspense, Ry. What is it?”

 Ryan’s face split into an impossibly wide grin: “I got the grant. I finally got the fucking grant!”

 “Shit, Ry! That’s fantastic!” you said as you moved to sit down, gesturing for Ryan to join you on the sofa. “Tell me everything.”

 The grant was something Ryan applied for annually but never thought he had a shot of getting. You had always admired his perseverance. With the grant, he would be working his way through three, formerly colonized countries in Africa, spending one month in each place.

 “There’s something else,” Ryan said, taking a sip of his tea before setting it down to rub his hands together.

 “After those three months in the field, I spend another three months working a paid internship for a museum of my choice in Cairo.”

 Your eyes widened and you felt the pull of jealousy; working for the Egyptian Museum of Cairo was your dream job. You felt passionately about working to restore artifacts to their homeland. Of course, Cairo boasted several museums and Ryan would be able to choose from any of them; however, one of Ryan’s interests had always been the effects of the Roman infiltration on Egyptian society.

 “Not gonna lie. I’m jealous.”

 “What if I told you that you didn’t have to be?”

 You raised your eyebrows, waiting for him to continue.

 “Y/N. There are two spots; as the earliest approved applicant, I get to make a recommendation before they return to the pool. You’d have to fill out a lot of paperwork, of course—”

 “Ryan, what the fuck are you saying?” you ask in a hushed voice, unsure if you wanted to even know the answer.

 Ryan moved closer to you and took your hand.

 “Come with me.”

 You stared at Ryan before furrowing your brows and sort of smiling, a small, crazed smile.

 “You’re joking.”

 “I’m as serious as a heart attack, babe. This is your chance to do the one thing you’ve always wanted to do—live in Egypt. You know that researchers who work for the museum accompany archeologists on their digs, right?”

 You let go of Ryan’s hand, which you had unconsciously been clutching, to get up and start pacing around the room. Your mind was whirling at this opportunity; what if nothing like this ever came up again? Ryan applied for that grant for six years straight and only just got it.

 “I . . . I . . . I’m just—fuck, I don’t even know what I am right now.”

 “I know there’s a lot to consider, but I want to lay something else out, too. We’ve always been honest with each other, communicated. And I think that’s why our relationship worked for the length it did. But seeing you with that guy made me realize that I want more. I want you.”

 “Ry—holy fuck! You can’t just dump that on me after dumping the first question—it’s a double dumping, fuck, I didn’t even know you felt that way.”

 “I didn’t either until you started slipping away from me, from us. At first, I just thought it was the dissertation. And then I thought, oh, the museum. Becca’s there and that makes sense. But then I find out that it’s not just Becca you see at the museum—”

 “Distance, Ry. Just enough emotional distance. That was always our first rule. That’s what was supposed to prevent . . . this!”

 “I know, but after seeing you with someone else, I couldn’t stop thinking about that first year. About you in the airport, standing there with nothing much more than a backpack and one suitcase. I told you then that we should keep our distance, otherwise, one of us would really end up falling for the other. I thought I was giving you advice. Turns out, it was me that needed it. You’ve kept me at arm’s length for almost seven years, and I just can’t fucking quit you. I feel like this grant is the universe telling me to take my shot.”

 You stopped pacing long enough to listen to Ryan as he spoke, baring his heart to you. This was never supposed to happen. You were back to just friends. Just friends.

 “Or maybe I missed my shot?” Ryan said to end the silence.

 “I don’t know, Ry. My mind’s racing right now and I thought I knew which way was up about 20 minutes ago and now, now I haven’t got a clue.”

 “I’m not going to tell the foundation to move on until you’ve thought about this for a while. I leave in three weeks.”

 “You’ve been such a good friend to me,” you say, earnestly.

 Ryan laughed sadly and said, “Friend, huh? That’s kinda ice-cold right now, babe.”

 “Stop. You know I need to think about all of this, a thousand times over, before I’m ready to talk to you about it. I appreciate your honesty, and I am really flattered that you would want to take me with you. I could really fuck up your whole life, and you’re brave for taking this risk.”

 “Just a little fucking stupid, not brave.”

 You laughed softly, “Just a little. But aren’t we all sometimes?”

“Only sometimes,” Ryan agreed softly as he let himself out.

 Holy Roman Fuck. What the hell am I going to do?

 * * * * *

After Ryan left, you ended up polishing off a bottle of wine while panicking about your disaster of a life, which then led to you falling asleep on the couch. Once again, you were disturbed by a knocking on your apartment door.

 You opened your eyes, felt around for your phone and saw that it was 11: 21 pm. You rolled off the sofa, head pounding in tandem with the knocking, longing for a glass of water.

 You looked through the peephole and saw that it was Ahkmenrah in his NYU sweats and t-shirt. You opened the door, and he rushed in.

 “We’ve gotta get you more clothes,” you said, sleep and maybe still the wine, slurring your speech.

 “Oh my god! Ahkmenrah! What the fuck? How the fuck?” you started spewing once your brain caught up to what the hell just happened.

 “All good questions, but I need you to come with me. I have something I want to show you,” he replied, his eyes wider and brighter than you had ever seen, excitement reverberating within his voice.

 “How did you get here?” you asked, your face riddled with confusion and concern. “If you had gotten lost, Ahk, my god! We would have never found you.”

 Ahkmenrah, for the first time since you met, was angry.

 “I am not a child, Y/N. I would think you of all people would be certain of that,” he said, his voice barely containing his anger, his eyes narrowed.

 “I’m sorry,” you replied, shaking your head and closing your eyes, trying to find a way to explain yourself. “I said that out of concern. I care about you. That’s all I meant.”

 Ahkmenrah softened, but was still agitated.

 “Remember this?” he asked as he held up the extra metro card you bought for his night out. “And do you remember that I listened carefully as you explained exactly how the subways worked? And do you remember that I asked you, very specifically, about the names of each place at which we stopped? And the name of your dwelling’s building?

 Jesus. He was a quick study, and here you were the one who was supposed to be about to get a PhD.

 “I’m an idiot, Ahk. Forgive me?”

 “I will if you come with me right away,” he said, his excitement returning, replacing his frustration.

 “I need 10 minutes. Make yourself at home,” you said, turning and heading to the bathroom.

 You looked like shit, so you brushed your teeth and put some Visine in your eyes. You washed your face and threw on a little make up, just enough to hide the purple under your eyes and even out your skin’s pigmentation. You pulled out the remnants of your bun and headed over to your bedroom to find some pants and a shirt.

 Once you dressed and tied up the laces of your converses, you stopped back in the bathroom to re-do your bun. You looked still like shit, but at least a more presentable version of shit.

 “Your beauty constantly surprises me,” Ahkmenrah said, beaming at you.

 You closed your eyes and bit back your retort, knowing that we are our own harshest critics.

 “I do not mean to rush you, Y/N, but this really is urgent,” Ahkmenrah said, from the spot in which he had obviously been pacing.

 You pulled your crossbody bag out of your backpack and pulled your keys off the hook by the door.

 “Can you bring your large bag, too? Please?”

 “Is everything okay?” you asked, shoving your small bag back into your backpack and hoisting the straps over your shoulders.

 You held the apartment door open as Ahkmenrah rushed out.

 “I have discovered something I am most eager to share with you.”

 This time, Ahkmenrah took your hand and led you through the streets and onto the subway.

 * * * * *

“Are you ready?” Ahkmenrah asked as he held his currently lifeless tablet in his hands.

 “I still don’t know what I’m getting ready for, Ahk.”

 “Trust me, please.”

 “I do. Okay—I’m ready!” you couldn’t help but to be a bit excited. Whatever was about to happen was surely going to be remarkable.

 Ahkmenrah concentrated on his tablet and spoke a string of words that you could only partially understand. Reading ancient Egyptian was one thing, but speaking it was still something of a mystery for scholars. Listening to it spoken by a native, well that was obviously unprecedented.

 The tablet began to glow, emitting a soft white light until it looked like Ahkmenrah was holding a piece of the moon in his hands.

 Then, a shimmering rift, almost like a doorway appeared beside the tablet. Still holding the glowing tablet in his left hand, Ahkmenrah held out his right to you.

 “Come on.”

 Your heart was hammering in your chest and your hand trembled as you placed it into his. Ahkmenrah led you through the doorway, which closed as soon as you took one step away from it.

 You swallowed, quite sure that if your heart hadn’t stopped yet it was about to. Your eyes couldn’t possibly take in your surroundings fast enough and your mind was working so hard to reconcile what just happened that you felt a little faint.

 You looked down and your feet were planted firmly on smooth stone, tiny grains of sand swirling at your feet. You could feel the heat of the dessert, immediately stifling. Hearing it before seeing it, you slowly turned and beheld the river you had only ever seen in your dreams.

 “Welcome to Wase, Y/N.”

 You turned your eyes away from the majesty of the Nile and back to Ahkmenrah’s face. You thought, for a horrific moment, that you were going to throw up. You swallowed, audibly, your mouth working to form words.

 “Wase,” you repeated in a hushed, raw voice, your mind working to make sense of that name.

 Then, it clicked.

 “My god . . . we’re in Thebes.”

[laurenehan]

Best Day of Our Lives

Little did we know, June 29th would be the best day of our lives. Even less did we know that our sweet boy's life would be on the line.

On Thursday, June 28th, we headed to the doctor's office around 11am after I had been awake all night with contractions. They completed a fetal non-stress test to determine the cause. Much to our surprise, they said it seemed I was in labor, but was only a centimeter dilated. They chalked it up to my body practicing for the real-deal, but decided it would be best to do a biophysical screening ultrasound just to be on the safe side.

The ultrasound revealed troubling news; the fluid surrounding our baby was much too plentiful and a section of his bowels were cause for concern. They sent us to a specialist that afternoon for further investigation, but not before asking if anyone in our family has Cystic Fibrosis.

We arrived at the specialist's office and had another ultrasound screening by the technician and then the doctor. He explained that there was a section of our baby's bowel that was not displayed in the screening, meaning there was likely a blockage in his small intestine which was causing the increased fluid levels. He, too, asked if anyone in our family has Cystic Fibrosis. Our hearts dropped when he said our baby is going to need surgery within the first 3 to 4 hours of his life.

How could something so exciting evolve into something so unbelievably terrifying? We have been planning for this for the past 8 months. We've done everything "by the book" and this is the news we get? We picked ourselves up, dried our tears, and asked what we do next.

I stayed hooked up to another monitor for another non-stress test for the next 2 hours as the specialist monitored my contractions. They barely hurt, but continues to come every other minute, lasting a minute each time.

The specialist returned to where we were completing the test. Contrary to his comment prior to hooking me up to the monitor ("You don't appear to be in active labor"), he now stated I was in labor and we need to send you to a place where they have the means to care for this baby after birth." He gave us the option of two hospitals then chose for us because he didn't want my water to break while sitting in traffic on the expressway. He came back about a half hour later and said we were to go to the Labor and Delivery unit and that they would be expecting us.

We drove to the hospital as we called our employer's to let them know we wouldn't be back and called our parents to share the exciting (and terrifying) news.

We arrived at the hospital around 5:30, still not feeling like I was in labor. We found our way to the unit where they quickly hooked me up to IVs and gave a steroid injection for his lung development. The attending physician came into the room about a half hour later. She said she did not plan on delivering this baby this evening; that it could still be a few weeks and that he would be safe ineutero until delivery.

We were not happy with this news. After rushing to the hospital and being told our child would need surgery almost immediately, to being told everything would be fine and we weren't having a baby yet, we were dumbfounded. What do we believe? Hating needles, I started to complain. I would be darned if I was going to sit here after being stuck a few times and not have this baby.

After about 20 minutes of complaining and a change of shift for the nurses around 7pm, I turned to Cameron and said "Either I just peed myself and I am completely embarrassed, or my water broke." We quickly pressed the nurse call button.

In she came, then out she went to get the doctor. They tested the fluid and retracted everything they had said about not being in labor. It was 7:50pm.

Next thing you know, we are talking to the anesthesiologist about epidurals. I got the epidural around 10pm, after 5 different attempts from the anesthesiology team. (Remember I hate needles).

At 10:30, they decided to start Pitocin since I still wasn't dilating past 3cm. Our moms came in the room to visit for a while as we explained the events that had transpired that day. At 11:45, I decided I was going to try to take a nap before gearing up for delivery. At 12, I called the nurse and told her that "I think he's coming now." She decided to check for herself and agreed. She left the room to get the doctor. Around 12:20am, they said I could try to push. The NICU team arrived in the room around 12:30-it was Go-Time.

After 20 minutes of pushing and 6 people's hands pulling him and pushing on me (he was in distress), our baby was born at 12:59am.

Grant Lyons Renehan. 19.5 inches. 5 lbs 2oz.

Full of joy and some relief, we held our breath as we waited for him to cry. He wasn't breathing well. We heard a short, soft cry before they placed him on a CPAP. After about 20 minutes, the nurse placed our baby, wrapped in a blanket, on my chest for a brisk 20 seconds before whisking him away. At 1:27 AM, he was admitted to the NICU. Daddy followed he and the team of doctors upstairs while the doctors cared for me.

He returned and our moms came back in the room to sit with us as we awaited to hear about surgery for our little baby. A doctor returned after a few hours (seemingly a lifetime) and explained the problem just as the specialist had done. They believed the bowel had twisted and inverted upon itself, causing a blockage. He said they were going to complete some tests and he would let us know what they find and the plan of action.

Soon after, I developed a severe headache, high blood pressure, and some other symptoms. The doctor ordered a pain medication intravenously as they drew lab work to test for preeclampsia. She returned a couple hours later and said that I needed to start on a magnesium drip immediately to prevent seizures and that I wouldn't be allowed to leave my bed for 24 hours. I cried. My baby was going to have surgery and I was helpless. But, we did what we had to do.

Still no test results and it was getting to be near noon. Daddy had been up to check on him a few times, as he was permitted to be in the room due to all the testing.

I came off the drip at 1am on 6/30. Eager to see our baby, whom I hadn't seen in 24 hours, Cameron helped get me out of bed and into a wheelchair. It took two hours to be able to sit up and eventually stand. I had to eat before I was allowed to leave the room, so I downed two pretzels and some peanut butter crackers.

Cameron wheeled me upstairs where we sat with Grant at his bedside. We were there only a short time before I had to return to my room due to the pre-eclampsia. We returned to his bedside a few hours later and we finally got to hold him for about a half hour each.

The pediatric surgeon came over to us and explained the possible causes and that surgery was necessary. She said it could be a vulvulus (type of twisted bowel obstruction), but that she wasn't expecting it. Only surgery would be able to tell us for certain.

By 12:50pm, we had signed consent forms to put our 36-hour old baby to sleep while they completed an exploratory surgery. We followed Grant and the anesthesiologists to the OR doors. Again, how could this be happening?

We returned to our room where family took turns visiting to keep us occupied.

At 1:50pm, we received a call stating they were starting.

At 2:50pm, they called again to say they were actually starting to cut and that he was tolerating the anesthesia and was on a ventilator.

At 3:50pm, they called to say he was still undergoing surgery.

At 4:50pm, they called to say everything was going great and they were wrapping up within the hour.

At 5:50pm, the surgeon came to our room and said she had just finished. We tried to absorb everything she said as she drew a diagram of what she had found. They tried laparoscopically, but quickly learned that wouldn't work. The problem was too severe.

She explained that she had found a vulvulus obstruction and that she had to remove 25cm (later learning it was 15cm) of dead small intestine after the blockage. She asked if anyone in our family had Cystic Fibrosis. Again, we said no.

She explained that she had to insert two stomas, as she was not able to resection his bowel at this time. Our baby now has an illeostomy bag.

She said this could be caused by one of three things: Cystic Fibrosis, Hirschprung's disease, or a freak vascular accident ineutero. (I did have a hemorrhage at week 13 and the placenta eventually reattached itself by week 17.) She took some biopsies and we are still awaiting those results. They also sent out blood for his newborn screen and asked that it be expedited. We asked what this meant as far as having our baby home and safe. She told us it would be 3 to 4 weeks minimum until he could come home and at least 6 weeks before they would consider reversing the stomas and putting his bowel back together.

We went up to see him later that evening. Still asleep and still on the ventilator, he looked peaceful. We cried a lot that night and anxiously awaited him to start breathing on his own again.

At 4am on 7/1, he came off the vent. He remained on IVs, and they gained our consent to insert a PICC line since his IVs kept going bad. He also received a blood transfusion after losing 20ml during surgery. We held his hand as much as we could that day after they made several failed attempts to insert the PICC line.

They tried again for the PICC line the next day (7/2) after we got to hold him for 2 hours. Unsuccessful again, they had to call in the surgeon.

Our baby underwent his second surgery which lasted an hour and a half, but the PICC line was in. Pediatric Surgeons are saints who make a fortune.

We sat with him for a little as he recovered-completely zonked out from the pain medication once again-before coming back home.

July 3rd was a great day for all of us. We snuggled him for hours as he stared up at us, wide awake. He sucked on his pacifier, finally beginning to realize hunger. He continued on his TPN and was a champ through a Hep B vaccine (but how could he not be tough at this point?!)

We got to change his diaper several times, take his temperature, and give him a bed bath. Our hearts have never been more full. That day, our baby acted like a healthy baby. There isn't a moment where he hasn't seemed genuinely content.

The surgeon checked on his stomas, which were now producing output. He also continued on his Replogle to suction everything out of his stomach. Once the bile clears in color, we will FINALLY be able to attempt to feed him a small amount (The poor thing has to be starving!)

The nurse practitioner informed us that the results from his genetic screening came back and revealed that he was negative for the top 43 mutations of Cystic Fibrosis, but that his IRT level was still elevated, which could mean he has C.F., but a much rarer form. The only way to know for sure would be done by completing a sweat test, which can't be done until he is 2 to 3 months old and starts producing sweat. So, we will continue to be patient, to pray, and to wait.

Our little boy is a fighter and we will continue to hope for the best life possible for him. He is our greatest Blessing, our most rewarding milestone, and the best thing God could ever give us.

We hope you will continue this journey with us as God continues to Grant Us Strength.

XOXO.

[aion-rsa]

Star Trek: Discovery Season 3 Episode 6 Easter Eggs & References

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

This Star Trek: Discovery article contains spoilers for “Scavengers.”

As Star Trek: Discovery continues to boldly go where no 23rd Century crew has gone before, the tapestry of the rest of the Trek franchise continues to get slightly redefined. In Discovery Season 3, Episode 6, “Scavengers,” a rogue mission from Burnham literally puts her and Georgiou in a scrapyard that contains a ton of old Star Trek Easter eggs, even if we only glimpse a few. Along the way, the USS Discovery gets an interesting upgrade, and more details about the Mirror Universe are teased out for the first time in a while. Plus, was that an homage to The Empire Strikes Back? Here’s every Easter egg and reference in Star Trek: Discovery Season 3, Episode 6, “Scavengers,” that we were able to catch…

USS Discovery NCC-1031-A

As Saru mentions the various retrofits and upgrades the USS Discovery has received — including detached warp nacelles — we see a few bots putting finishing touches on the outside of the hull. The registry number of the Discovery now reads NCC-1031-A. And yep, that “A” is brand new. This is a slight change from Starfleet’s older operating procedure. Back in the day, you only got a new letter on a ship’s registry if it was a new version of the ship, effectively replacing one that had been destroyed. The USS Enterprise NCC-1701-A was the first onscreen version of this practice, seen in Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home. 

Several Classic Trek Planets on the Big Map

Just like in Episode 5, Admiral Vance’s giant holographic map includes the names of countless “known” Star Trek planets. In this brief sequence, there are almost too many to count, and most of the names are mirrored backward, because Vance is reading them from his vantage point, opposite the camera. Anyway, we caught a few classic names including:

Talos: This is an easy one. The Talos system contains Talos IV, the “first” Trek planet ever visited in the TOS pilot “The Cage” and the episode “The Menagerie.” Burnham and Spock went to Talos IV in the Discovery Season 2 episode “If Memory Serves.” 

Beta Niobe: The Beta Niobe system comes from the TOS episode “All Our Yesterdays,” which featured some accidental time travel for Kirk, Spock, and Bones. Oddly, the star in the Beta Niobe system went nova in that episode, circa 2269. What’s in that “star” system now? Well, in an episode of The Animated Series — “The Counter-Clock Incident” — the remnants of the Beta Niobe supernova was a conduit to an “anti-matter universe.” This caused the TOS crew to get turned into little babies. Seems like Vance has an eye on that. Don’t want anyone else ending up “half a Rascal.” 

Camus: The Camus system probably refers to the planet Camus II, which was first visited in the TOS episode “Turnabout Intruder,” otherwise known as the last regular episode of TOS, and possibly the worst Trek episode of all time. In the TNG episode “Legacy,” the Enterprise-D was supposed to go to this planet, but then got diverted. 

Multi-function Badges 

The crew’s new badges are now basically every famous Star Trek technology thing, rolled into one. With the holographic interface, the badges are communicators, tricorders, and personal transporters. 

“I was on my way to the Bajoran exchange” 

In Book’s re-recorded holographic message, he tells Burnham he was on his way to the Bajoran exchange. Does this mean Book was going to Bajor itself? Could the Bajoran exchange be on Deep Space Nine, which is 100 percent in Bajoran space? Unclear, but cool if so! 

Georgiou’s flashes 

Georgiou appears to be having memories of her time as Emperor of the Terran Empire in the Mirror Universe. The first time we met this version of Georgiou was in the Mirror Universe at the very end of the episode “The Wolf Inside.” Read more about Georgiou’s flashes here.

Old ships seem to be Starfleet from “The Battle at the Binary Stars”

Many of the ships in the salvage yard appear to be similar to ships we saw during the Discovery Season 1 episode, “Battle at the Binary Stars.” Could this planet be located near Gamma Hydra near the old Klingon border? 

Do Tilly and Burnham still share a room?

Starting with the Season 1 episode “Context Is For Kings,” Tilly and Burnham were roommates on the USS Discovery. While this tradition seemed to be reversed in Season 2, it was later actually not clear if they were still roommates or not. In this episode, Burnham puts Grudge in Tilly’s quarters before going after Book. Tilly calls these quarters “my quarters,” but she also seemed to know Grudge was already in the room. If Tilly and Burnham still share a room, it’s clearly out of their need to chat with each other all the time. They’re certainly high-ranking enough to have their own room, right? Then again, the USS Discovery is sleek enough, with a crew of less than 200, so it’s possible there’s still not enough space for Tilly, Burnham and now, Grudge, to have separate sleeping quarters.

Self-sealing stem bolts

Burnham and Georgiou talk about needing self-sealing stem bolts. This references a commodity frequently mentioned and sought-after on Deep Space Nine.

24th-century phaser 

When Georgiou mentions she wants some “pre-2400” tech, the Orion nephew of Osira shows her a late-24th-century-era phaser. This model matches the kind we saw in First Contact, Voyager, and the later seasons of Deep Space Nine. This means it is pre-2400s, but only barely. This style of phaser comes from the 2370s. This is probably why Georgiou says that it’s not what she wants because older phasers and tech would be from the early 2300s or, her time period, the 2250s. 

DISCO has a new deflector dish 

The pointy, TOS–style deflector dish on the USS Discovery seems to have been replaced with a smoother, flatter version. This upgrade reflects a similar upgrade with the classic Enterprise in Star Trek: The Motion Picture.

Bucket of badges, including a Klingon badge 

In the scrapyard, Burnham examines a bucket of old badges, some of which seem to be 2250s-ear Starfleet badges. But, she does pick-up one badge that is the classic Klingon Empire emblem. What are the Klingons up-to in the 32nd Century? We still don’t know! 

“Since We Served Together on the Shenzhou…”

When Saru talks to Tilly about Burnham’s rogue mission, he says “I have not felt this mistrusting of her since we served on the Shenzhou…” This references the first episode of Discovery, ever, “The Vulcan Hello,” in which Burnham attempted a mutiny in order to attack the Klingons first, before the Klingons deemed Starfleet “weak.” The mutiny didn’t go too well.

Tritanium

Georgiou and Burnham pretend to be looking for Trianium in the scrap heap. This fictional ore comes from the TOS episode, “Obsession,” though it has been referenced throughout the franchise since then. Most classic starship bulkheads are made out of titanium. 

The Baryon Sweep

Admiral Vance mentions that a starship that has just returned to Starfleet HQ will be treated with “The Baryon Sweep.” This references a high-tech spaceship cleaning procedure that we first saw in the TNG episode “Starship Mine.” In Picard’s day, everyone had to leave a starship during the Baryon Sweep since the Baryon particles were deadly to organic matter. “Starship Mine” was written by Morgan Gendel, arguably more famous for his other TNG episode, “The Inner Light.”

“Another Michael Burnham”

Georgiou mentions that she remembers “another Michael Burnham” trying to comfort her in a different situation. This references the Mirror version of Burnham, who we actually never met. In the Mirror Universe, the Terran Burnham betrayed Georgiou by allying herself with Lorca. In on-screen canon, we’re led to believe that Mirror Burnham is dead. But, the Star Trek: Discovery comic book miniseries, Succession paints a different picture. Everyone assumes Mirror Burnham died in the Mirror Universe, but what Succession presupposes is, maybe she didn’t? Notably, Succession was co-written by Discovery co-producer and longtime Trek writer, Kirsten Beyer.

Stamets’ connection to Adira

In this episode, Stamets and Adira form a bond over the fact that they both were in love with someone “who died.” This references the obvious fact that Dr. Cubler — Stamets’ partner — was killed in Discovery Season 1, but came back to life in Season 2. 

Poorly timed Linus beam-in references Season 2 and…maybe The Empire Strikes Back?

Just as Burnham and Book are starting to get cozy in the turbolift, Linus beams-in by accident, killing the mood. This probably references Discovery Season 2, Episode 1, “Brother,” in which Linus sneezed gross green snot all over the place during a tense moment in the turbolift. But, the way the scene plays out also will remind Star Wars fans of a very famous movie kiss in The Empire Strikes Back. Just after Han Solo and Princess Leia share an intimate moment on the Millennium Falcon, C-3PO interrupts the moment, somewhat innocently. Linus killing the mood here feels very similar. Which means, maybe Discovery’s far future, and the galaxy far, far away aren’t so distant after all; at least not when it comes to romance involving cocky space smugglers and badass women, determined to restore freedom to the galaxy…

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[mewsomniac]

KH: The Scents of Being & Flowers for the Grave

♡ Fandom: Kingdom Hearts ♡ Genre: Romance ♡ Summary:

Looking back, it’s hard to say exactly how things began. Perhaps it was an unconscious hazing at first, with Zexion technically being the youngest member and Marluxia being the newest at the time. It may have also simply been an off-chance, as they were the only two members available on short notice for that first mission.

Either way, this unexpected connection is what ensured their partnership, friendship, and eventually... their tragic love.

[Takes place pre-358/2 Days until post-KHIII.]

♡ Words: 4,400~ ♡ Ships: Marluxia/Zexion ♡ Rating: T ♡ FF.net: Link ♡ AO3: Link

[Click Here for Mew’s FF Archive]

           Looking back, it’s hard to say exactly how things began.

           Perhaps it was an unconscious hazing at first, with Zexion technically being the youngest member and Marluxia being the newest at the time. It may have also simply been an off-chance, as they were the only two members available on short notice for that first mission.

           Zexion had always keep to himself, taking on the role of delegator rather than participator. Though a veteran of The Organization with some ruthless means, he was still the most patient and inquisitive of all of them.

           Number XI didn’t know this then, but they had both been on a very similar wavelength from the start. Marluxia had a cool-yet-deceptive temperament that left him unreadable on most occasions. His eyes drank up information while the gears in his head spun wildly. He, too, was full of plans and questions just as Zexion was.

          This unexpected connection is what ensured their unofficial partnership. It also planted the seeds of their easygoing friendship.

           On their missions together, Marluxia was less talkative than he was with the other Orginzation memebers. Number VI begrudgingly took it upon himself to instigate the conversation most times, only because his own observant nature demanded sustenance. What began at first as Zexion explaining the Organization's inner workings, would meld into idle-prattle, and occasionally into topics of interest.

           Sometimes Zexion would be talking, usually explaining at length the complexity of something, when VI would notice Marluxia’s gaze.

           The first time it happened, they were in Twilight Town; the sky was the color of marigolds, and the warm scent of sun-baked bricks was everywhere. Number XI was looking at Zexion with a kind of curiosity that left a rare smile on the taller man’s face. Zexion didn’t want to say it gave him “a feeling”, because as Nobodies they didn’t possess those. Still, he noticed Marluxia giving him that look, and trailed off.

           “Don’t stop talking,” Marluxia said, words soft as rose petals, “I’m still listening.”

           Of course, time ends all comforts. Their missions together came to an end once they were nominated to set up camp in Castle Oblivion.

           For Zexion, living in there was a nightmare come to life.

           It was clear that no living thing was welcome there. The run-down castle was a mess of too-bright walls, no sense of direction, and forgetfulness. To top it off, the place was riddled with rancid smells...

           Oh, how Zexion hated those smells. Why he was cursed with such a strong sense of smell in this nonlife was beyond him. Each day it haunted him like a wraith in the walls, looming near and striking when least expected.

           Some smells he grew accustomed to, like the lingering aroma of bleach and stale air. When Axel appeared, he brought brimstone, whereas Larxene brought sulfur. Not only did the last two reek, they practically burned his nostrils upon inhalation.

           The only scent that brought him any kind of comfort was Marluxia’s. Often, it was up to Zexion to carry messages back up to Number XI. Vexen could hardly stand the pink-haired Nobody’s presence, so he none-too-politely ordered Zexion to do it for him.

           It was always a welcome change to portal from the basement up to HQ. Though it was bright as lily-white, it was strangely comforting when compared to the dank depths of the lower floors. The dense air of the ground floor was replaced by the familiar and subtle scent of roses wherever Marluxia may have lingered. Though he often caught the brimstone and sulfur—try as he might to avoid it—they were scents that never lasted terribly long.

           It had become their routine: Zexion would portal up several times a day, and the Graceful Assassin would always greet him the same way.

           “Hello, Number VI. More news?”

           The only time he really interacted with XI was to bring news, but he still distantly wished the other Nobody would regard him less formally. They were excellent in battle together, had gotten along fine in the past, and knew one another well enough to breach formalities. He always looked forward to seeing Marluxia, but it always dismayed him when the taller Nobody would cross his arms and regard him without much thought.

           At least… as dismayed as one can be without a heart.

           So, he’d ignore the disappointment lingering in his chest, pass the information along, and leave—finding himself immediately longing for light and roses afterwards.

           So this routine continued, each hour, practically on the hour. Each time, a little more of his hope was dashed away as Marluxia leered down at him from above. He wanted so badly to speak up, to start a conversation, to mention anything but work…

           And yet, he’d take one look at Marluxia’s face and his wants were driven back into him like a stake: pinning them down into his throat and silencing him.

           Eventually, the ache in his chest grew like a maw of discomfort any time he’d go to see Malruxia. It was more stubborn than spring pansies and was slowly cracking him open from the inside.

           One day, when Vexen needed to relay a message, Zexion found himself hiding away, sheathed in shadows. Then once more the next time. And again… until it was clear that Vexen would have to carry the messages himself, or enlist Lexaeus’ help, if he hoped to communicate with Marluxia.

           VI had gotten very good at perfectly avoiding Vexen by using his sense of smell to note the frustration lingering in the air and clouding up the lower floors. If the Chilly Academic dared to question him, Zexion would simply ignore it and change the subject. VI had just gotten used to his troublesome and perpetual stay in the basement when an unexpected visitor arrived.

           It was strange. Zexion could have sworn the scent of roses reached his nose before the sound of a portal reached his ears.

           A hand was on the wall, and Marluxia was leering down at him. Despite his cool countenance, it was clear Number XII was struggling to see. His pupils darted uncertainly amidst squinting eyes, searching for Zexion’s in the dark.

           “You haven’t been up to see me,” Marluxia said curtly, “Why?”

           Number IV could feel himself blanching and blushing all at once. The sudden proximity between him and Number XII sent a rocketing sensation through his chest, and he mentally stuffed it back inside. He didn’t think he’d ever have to justify himself to Marluxia of all people, and figured his lacking presence would go unnoticed.

           “I was tired of being Vexen’s messenger. There’s a lot of important work I need to get done here, too.”

           What Zexion didn’t know was that Marluxia had been a wreck since the first time Vexen delivered a message in Zexion’s stead. Each time Number IV did not appear for their frequent briefings, a strange stilted terror rose in him. It crawled like ivy all the way up the ceiling to pierce the clouds.

           This unexplainable phenomenon rattling in his chest was driving him crazy. It hadn’t been long, but it seemed to span the length of a lifetime. Before Marluxia knew it, he was portaling all around the palace in a desperate search for the lilac-haired Nobody.

           What Zexion didn’t know is that Marluxia didn’t have the words to say, I miss you.

           Instead, he said, “I would like it very much if you were to resume our briefings. It’s…” He pulled his arm back, uncertain of the words. “It would be… nice to see you upstairs again.”

           There was fluttering in the place where Number VI’s heart should be. Suddenly, he felt bravery sweep up in him like the scent of saltwater before a hurricane.

           “Fine. But I will resume my duties on one condition,” He sucked in a breath to fight off the hesitation, “After our work has been discussed, let’s talk like we used to.”

           Marluxia blinked. His eyes had already adjusted to the limited visibility, but he wasn’t sure if Zexion's certain expression was a trick of the dark. Smiling, he agreed.

           It was an easy condition to meet as they both fell into it with ease. Every spare second, they talked endlessly about what they enjoyed from their lives as Somebodies. Zexion would gush about the books he’d read, and scientific experiments he helped conduct. Marluxia would talk about all the different kinds of plants he adored, and the proper way to take care of them. It seemed like after long enough, they would have run out of things to say to one another… and yet, they still managed to fill the air with words.

           Even moments spent apart were full of thoughts about one another. The image of Zexion followed Number XI throughout the day: the way his face lit up and a rare smile would grace his features, like how a flower unfurls in the sun. Number VI was haunted by Marluxia’s visage: those azure eyes drank him up, but at the same time, that low voice drenched him. He wanted to run his fingers through that rosegold hair—to slide his digits through the tresses and…

           What else?

           Everything would feel hot, suddenly. His skin itched to be touched, but not just touched. Felt. Seen. Breathed—like the aroma of spring hanging on a breeze.

           The maw that was once breaking him apart had become something different now. Less jagged, more soft, and full to bursting with warmth.

           One day, Zexion stepped from the usual mass of blackness with something packaged in hand. He eagerly presented it to Marluxia, a slight tremor of nervousness in his voice.

           “This is for you.”

           Marluxia took it and gently stripped away the packaging. The book’s gold rimmed pages glittered in the whiteness of the room, and the ornate cover twisted a cord of remembrance somewhere deep inside of Number XII. It seemed like a relic of time long-passed, an ancient tome once forgotten. He traced his fingertips across the embossed letters in the cover: liber herbarim. He recognized these words somehow.

           “Where did you find this?” Marluxia asked, awestruck.

           “We’ve found many interesting antiques in the castle, including a whole library of old texts. This seems to be a copy of an especially ancient one… people haven’t used Latin in centuries. It was the only Herbiary in the entire collection.”

           Number XII’s flicked up to him. “A… ‘herbiary,’ you say?”

           Zexion shrugged, “For lack of a better term, yes. Though I’m not so certain anyone here understands Latin, the illustrations are quite lovely.”

           Everything inside Marluxia felt warm and full as he smiled.

           “Thank you.” He moved to place it gingerly on a nearby table, smoothing a loving palm across it.

           Seeing this made it especially difficult for Zexion to not smile. He ducked his face away, moving back across the room to open a portal and leave. Then, he felt Marluxia’s hand on his shoulder. Breath held tight, he watched the ethereal petals melt into the air around him.

           “I would like it very much,” There was just the hint of trembling in Marluxia’s voice now, “If you let me kiss you.”

           Zexion felt a thud in his chest, as if someone dropped a pile of books inside of it. He swallowed, suddenly very aware of the odor of nervous sweat, before turning to face Number XII.

           “I, too, would like that very much.”

           Then, graceful as always, Marluxia leaned down. Zexion let his eyes drift closed, and welcomed the static of Marluxia’s lips as they met his. Their kiss was as sweet and comforting as the scent of honey in a cup of tea.

           Because Nobodies were bodies, it could mean that chemical compounds were still swishing around their brains and tricking them into having the ghosts of feelings. Perhaps it was akin to the sensation of limbs that were once severed.

           Still… in that moment, Zexion knew he was feeling everything.

           Fingers danced through his periwinkle tresses, and his own hands drifted across Marluxia’s chest toward the taller man’s shoulders to tangle in pink locks. Each new kiss came with a greater sense of urgency and gentleness all at the same time.

           That was the first time Zexion thought I don’t ever want to leave this place.

           This confusing castle he’d come to loathe, all at once, had become his safe haven.

           Soon, days of kisses and sweet nothings turned into nights twisted up in sheets. After all, even their bodies had needs on occasion.

           They’d lay in the stillness of the makeshift room, with steadily-fading aromas of passion hanging in the air. Though none of the rooms in the castle had windows, they could picture the moon as a blooming carnation suspended in the velvet night.

           Even like this, they talked. By this point, they could talk nonstop for hours and still find each other’s voices soothing.

           “The fact that we are here right now means that our nonexistence is a misnomer.” Zexion chattered one night, “The fact that I am absorbing the spectrum of light that makes you up with my eyes is proof enough.” Zexion had never fully subscribed to the Nobody jargon. He found it quite illogical based on his own scientific frame of reference.

           “This is true,” Marluxia responded, smoothing his fingers across Zexion’s skin, “But perhaps it’s not our nonexistence that’s the issue. Perhaps it’s the fact we were never meant to exist.”

           For once, Marluxia hadn’t been looking at Zexion as he spoke. He’d been looking off into the distance, as if searching for something in the dark. It was the way a daisy turns to face the sun for warmth.

           Zexion asked, “What’s wrong?”

           After a solemn pause, Marluxia said, “...when this is all over, when I’m a Somebody again, I’d like to plant a rose garden.”

           “Roses? Not petunias or pansies?” Zexion chided sarcastically, “I never would have guessed.”

           Number XII looked down at his lover with a softness he didn’t know he had. The wry smile on VI’s face, the touch of their skin in the dark, the soft breath before a long kiss, how the smaller man fit so perfectly into his arms…

           There was one thing that Marluxia wanted to tell Zexion more than anything else, but he didn’t have the words for I love you .

           Instead, he bent close and whispered with ferocity: “Zexion, I’m staging a coup.”

           To say Number VI was mortified would be an understatement. It must have been showing very blatantly on his face, too, because Marluxia quickly explained himself. The Graceful Assassin was a sight to see: eager countenance, hands gesturing wildly for emphasis, and somehow managing to whisper a bombastic speech in lieu of their usual pillow-talk.

           Before Marluxia, it would have been easy to make the choice. After all, Zexion’s loyalties have been with the Organization long before his unlife as a Nobody.

           And still… he’d grown so disillusioned with the ideas of his associates and the Superior’s apparent secrets. He, too, knew something far more sinister was roiling beneath the surface of it all. It was as pungent as the smell of death on a carcass, and there was no denying it.

           So, in a move he would have never expected from himself… he sided with Marluxia.

           Their briefings became laced with confidentialities. In no time at all, Zexion had made up with Vexen and won the Chilly Academic’s trust again. He had become a double-agent within this sector of the Organization.

           Neither he nor Marluxia realized that Axel had also been a double-agent. That was one of their fatal oversights.

           Their time together had grown chaste after Riku and Sora arrived. For every possible string there was to manipulate, Zexion pulled and yanked and struggled… but when the castle shook, he knew there was nothing left he could do. Of course Marluxia would never give up so easily. Of course he wouldn’t endanger the Cloaked Schemer by asking for help.

           In a long moment of numbness, he stood alone in the dark. His sanctuary had all but come to pieces around him, like the greedy tendrils of winter dragging life away from a landscape.

           Something told him to go looking for the herbiary. He found it easily, and took it down to the hidden library where he’d found it. Standing before the shelf, he rubbed his thumbs across the cover. He was standing upright, but it felt like every part of him had shattered.

           He wished the castle would take away that darling memory of Marluxia’s smile as he held the tome. At the same time, he clung so desperately to it he thought it would melt in his head.

           Zexion took a deep breath, and the rush of roses met his nose. His chest thudded, and with a start he realized Marluxia’s scent had transplanted onto the book. Cracking it open, he let the lovely aroma of musty pages and sweet roses greet him.

           That was right. Marluxia had a rose garden to plant, and now, Zexion had a book to return. One last mission… no, one last scheme, and he’d be free to join XII on the other side.

           With the utmost care, he slid the book back into its home on the shelf and vowed to find it again someday. He summoned a portal and returned to the top, unconsciously wiping away tears he didn’t know were possible to cry.

           There were no dreams.

           Just the cold nothing of darkness.

           When Ienzo awoke, his body was hot and cold all at the same time. He could barely make out the lab floor through blurred vision. Distanly, he sensed the stirrings of Dilan, Aelus, and Even. He could hear Lea’s voice, muffled but present, as he struggled to move. They’d come back right where they’d fallen, as if their unlife had been one long and strange dream. Sharply, Ienzo found himself inhaling through his nose--

           But it was normal. No overabundance of scents, no need to focus through the haze… it was just a breath. The breath of a Somebody.

           Hope swelled in him, intense and full. If they made it… then maybe… just maybe…

           But weeks later, when Ienzo saw the picture Sora took of Marluxia, he knew it wasn’t the Marluxia he loved. It wasn’t the azure eyes that comforted him, or the smell of roses that sent his skin buzzing, or the smile that made living in that castle worth every hideous second.            It was a stranger. The cheated husk that served its time and deserved its host was nowhere to be found. The Xehanorts had stripped or stifled that part of Marluxia to further their plans.            It haunted him, curling inside like a poppy wrapped in the night. Dreamless sleep turned into waking nightmares that were doused with labwork and research. The best way he could help XII was to help Sora in whatever ways he could. It comforted him to know the Seven of Light would be on his side, and that their victory would mean redemption for the remnants of the Organization XIII he knew.

           Still, he tossed and turned. Mistakenly reread sentences in books. Fiddled with empty beakers. Let the nausea purge him. Mistakenly reread sentences. Fiddled with empty beakers. Inch by rueful inch, time crawled past.

           After one particularly long and sleepless night, he called Sora. He was surprised when the young man picked up, wide awake and happy to hear from him. It seemed like Sora’s energy was limitless, as he hardly needed but more than a couple catnaps during the day to sustain himself. It somewhat disturbed Zexion, yet also piqued his scientific interest. Still, he had more pressing matters on the mind then.

           “Please Sora,” he begged, “Please save Marluxia.”

           He knew it would eventually come to blows for them, and the only outcome would be for Marluxia to be reborn… but it comforted Ienzo to hear Sora promise him. Even after all the evil XII wrought, even after all the pain he caused, Sora still smiled and promised.

           The Keyblader told Ienzo, “I know what it’s like to want to save someone you love.”

           He had to say thanks and hang up before the younger man saw his tears. Sora’s kindness truly knew no limits, and for that he was eternally grateful.

           No one in the lab realized how close to the apocalypse they’d been until Riku arrived one morning with the terrifying news. His face was grave as he told them about Sora. The resulting Somebodies that should have been left over from Organization XIII were nowhere to be found.

           And oh, how Ienzo almost craved to be a Nobody again. Perhaps then the sheer pain of heartache could have been muted that way. But his memories from before, his misery and love and fear and terror, all mixed in with his mortal mind. It came crashing over him like a rockslide beating his body to dust, or the way the waves rip into the earth to make sand, or the way lighting takes life in a single flash.            When he was a nobody, emotion was like the full pain of a toothache throbbing in your skull: it was impossible to ignore, and it was there, and you tried to distract yourself from it by pretending it wasn’t. Now, all of that emotion flooded into him, unhinged and ceaseless.

           Weeks passed. Months. There was nothing.

           So Ienzo cried and cried, for what was and what could have been—and most of all—what would never be.

           The next time Riku came to visit, he brought Aqua with him. Cheerily, she presented a surprised Ienzo the herbiary from so long ago. She wouldn’t answer his questions. Instead, she chose to reassure him that she had an inkling of where it belonged, and insisted he keep it.

           Distantly, oh so distantly, he swore he could still sense that sweet fragrance clinging to the pages.

           In the spring, he planted a rose bush that bloomed full and plump early into the season.

           Now part of his daily routine, he tended those roses religiously with each one of Marluxia’s instructions in his mind. He made sure the soil was loamy and loose. Checked the acidity like clockwork. Calculated the perfect amount of water to hydrate them with. Pruned them diligently, and kept snippings of the flowers inside. If a rose died, he let himself mourn it, though never for very long.  Every single day, before any lab work was to be done, he was out there with those blooming buds. If the permeating scent of roses bothered the others, they never made it known.

           One day, he went to tend the roses and found a figure stooped close to the petals. Many visitors had come to marvel at the flowers in the past. Unfortunately, some would even pluck the blooms much to his aggravation. However, he didn’t recognize this person… at least, not a first.

           It must have been a phantom. Perhaps a trick of the light. He blinked, rubbed his eyes. Blinked again. Dropped his gardening tools. Didn’t notice the watering can splashing water on his legs. Felt the tears in his throat. His knees wobbled. He choked on the name—but was almost glad, since he knew it wouldn’t have been the right one then.

           “They’re beautiful,” The figure said, turning to meet Ienzo’s gaze with eyes the color of forget-me-nots. After all this time, the man finally had the words: “I missed you.”

           And then, just like how the first blooms of the season bring the scent of spring… everything was as it should be.

---

Exeunt.

---

A/N: After the ending of this fic I can picture a cheesy montage of pictures where Lauriam and Ienzo take selfies, go on dates, garden together, read together, cut the ribbon for a flower shop, leave flowers maybe at Steriliza’s grave, then LAURIAM SLIDES A RINGBOX ACROSS THE TABLE AT DINNER, AND THEN THEY’RE GETTING MARRIED IN TASTEFUL SUITS WITH ROSE BOUTONNIERES AS PEOPLE TOSS FLOWER PETALS AT THEM (*insert fangirl screaming here*)

However, my talents lie in crafting words, not illustrations, so you’ll just have to picture it along with me.

After finishing Kingdom Hearts III, it surprised me that first fic I wanted to write was MaruZeku instead of SoRoku. Maybe it was because I tried to jam all of the games into a sleepless, two-week stint, so Chain of Memories was pretty fresh in my mind. At this point, I’m pretty sure I’m cursed to exclusively write romance stories for weirdly niche OTPs. Anyway, I’ve been working on this one on and off for seven months now. My plan was to publish it on 6/11 (MaruZeku day), but I totally forgot! I also didn’t want to wait until 11/6 to publish it either. So here it is!

References and Inspirations:

Swing Life Away by Rise Against

Lemony Snicket’s “rereading sentences” from the first Series of Unfortunate Events book

Some News:

I’m going to start updating my dA again with some bite-sized fics and drabbles. Possibly tumblr too. Ones that I really like will go on AO3 and FFnet! I’m also planning on starting a series of writing advice so I can start giving back to a community that’s given me so much. Links to that on my tumblr and dA!  

FOR MY READERS WILLING TO COMMENT:

I have a few questions for you, if you’re willing to help me out. I played around a lot with repetition and metaphor this time around. Did you notice the consistent thread, and how did you like it? Did it feel natural or forced? Did it flow nice? Where there some subtleties you picked up on, or didn’t quite understand?  I would appreciate your critique so I may take it into future fics!

-+-

Thanks for your help! Please please PLEASE favorite, review, send kudos, add bookmarks… anything!

[yourcertainstudentlight-blog]

health insurance for veterans that is affordable

"health insurance for veterans that is affordable

health insurance for veterans that is affordable

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not some rip off. but a real company and i hate BCBS

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Hi, I am going to buy a 2005 corsa c in afew days and I was wondering what would be the best insurance company for my age ? I just turned 20 and have had my licence for just about ayear. I could also put my mum and dad on the insurance if that would take it down if so how would I go about this and whats the best company to go with ? its a 1.2 sxi corsa by the way, thanks if you can help and I have cheked compare the market and that but people seem to be getting alot better prices than that is giving me and I dont know what they are doing different, thanks if you can help.""

Are there any car insurance companies that don't use a social security # when determining your rates?

I think it is horrible that they base car insurance rates on your credit history. Having bad credit doesn't make you a bad driver. If they are worried about you paying the bill, why do they make it HIGHER if you have bad credit? Isn't that a little messed up? Are there any companies that don't do this?""

How much dwelling coverage is sufficient for a home owner's insurance.?

My current insurance covers $480,000 for the dwelling (bot house for $1 mil but i'ts probably worth 700K now). It's 1500 sq feet. I got a really affordable quote for $240K coverage, but is that too low? The salesman said anything more is probably over-insured. The home is in a nice area, has upgraded plumbing, electrical, newer roof but the structure itself is extremely old.""

Is insurance affordable under the Affordable Care Act?

Is insurance affordable under the Affordable Care Act?

health insurance for veterans that is affordable

health insurance for veterans that is affordable

I do not have auto insurance and my license is suspended (child support). I live in California?

Is the other driver still responsible to pay for damages to my car? He has insurance. What do I do first? Thank you for your help

Affordable term life insurance quote?

What good is affordable term life insurance in florida?

Why is it hard to find medical Insurances?

i have a heart condition, why is it hard to find medical insurances?""

Temporary Insurance for 18 yr olds - How can I make this work?

I go to Uni and want to use my mothers car wen i'm back at home in the hols. Trouble is I'm only 18 and the car is a VR6 Highline, with UK group 16 insurance. It'll cost me about 2000 for a yearly permanent insurance policy, but id prefer just to go on my mothers policy temporary if itd b cheaper. For instance i could pay for her insurance on the car permanently for about 150 pound and maybe get on as a temp driver occasionally for probably a lot of money each time. Any ideas?""

Where is the best place to get insurance for my scooter?

i know that scooter insurance runs around 120 a year but all the quotes i keep getting from places like Allstate and progressive are more like 1167 a year. Where is the best place to get comprehensive insurance for my scooter.

Getting Car Insurance?

I'm getting married and because I'm moving to another state I'm having to switch from one insurance for my car to another. My question is this, how much up front money will it cost to get insurance for me and my wife? For example, will they need a deposit, or expect a certain number of months up front? Also if anyone could refer me to a good insurance company, I live in Alabama near Birmingham I 'm considering either state farm or alfa. Thanks!""

Why do you think insurance is important?

I am writing and essay on why insurance is important and the consequences of not having it. I just wanted to know some of your thoughts of why you think insurance is important to help me get a better understanding ! thanks in advance !

Car insurance advice..We bought a 97 dodge ram for my son that he picked out for his first car.He is taking?

auto body etc so it was something he was excited about fixing up.He had it looking pretty good still needed work but the other day my husband was driving it and was hit in the back and it wasnt his fault.They are trying to say it is totaled because the repairs exceeds a certain amount.So my ? is is there any way of keeping this truck?If so is it like a buy back thing and how much would it be? I know I should be asking the other insurance but the adjuster for them is not answering or returning calls.My son still wants to keep it is fully drivable and alot of work has been put into it and wants to eventally re fix it.Thanks for your time.

Does any one know about any 0 deductible health insurance plan with low monthly payment?

State California

Insurance wise is a 89 firebird a sports car?

Does geico consider a 89 firebird a sports car?

Medical Malpractice insurance..?

Im wanting to start a nursing agency in the near future and require the appropriate insurance in order to do so. I have a quote for Professional Indemnity and Employers Liability through HISCOX. I dont seem to be able to locate a broker who can provide Medical Malpractice/Negligence cover. Can anyone help me out??

Car Insurance for a 17 year old!! ?

Is anyone else struggling to find at least a reasonable price for car insurance? The cheapest quotes i am getting is 4,900 on a 206!! Am I doing something wrong, i've checked multiple car insurance sites and can't find anything jus below 5 grand. How the hell do insurance companies think 17 year olds can afford this? It's daylight robbery?""

How much would insurance cost for a 17 year old male driver with 2001 audi a6 in a major city?

Around how much would insurance cost for a 17 year old boy in a metropolitan city. car is a 2001 audi a6, with a clean record.""

Affordable health insurance?

The company where I work has just informed me that they will be canceling our medical benefits at the end of this month. What are some decent plans that I can get on my own that arent too expensive. I was paying $100.00 per month thru my job and would like to keep my premium around the same. I live in Wisconsin. Thanks for any advice.

How much is car insurance per year for a oldish mini?

I'm 18 in June and I would really love a mini say 2005 or something like that. How much roughly would insurance be per year for one of them. Thanks guys :)

Auto insurance for 18 year old ?

I'm looking for the least expensive automotive insurance and was wondering what would be the typical monthly payment for an 18 year old driver who has had one accident about one year ...show more

If I bought car insurance in one state and then move to different state do I have to buy new insurance?

I bought insurance for the year in one state but just moved to a different state where I will have to register my car again and get a new license plate. If I already paid for the year, do I have to get new insurance? If I do have to get new insurance, can I get my money back because I didn't drive for the whole year while under my insurance company's policy?""

Will my insurance rates go up because of this?

I cancelled my Esurance policy and went to State Farm. I received a cancellation email afterward. My policy with Esurance is set to cancel completely on the 8th but I got an email today saying my policy had lapsed. Will my insurance rates with State Farm go up because of this?

How much of a difference per month for car insurance is there between a sports car and a regular car?

How much of a difference per month for car insurance is there between a sports car and a regular car?

Can my dad by a motorcycle and put it under his insurance for me to drive?

ok im conused about this whole thing i know for a 16 year old motorcycle insurance is crazy. So how would this work my dads been driving all his life(Harley-Davidson) and his insurance is cheap, now for me its gonna be alot of money so can he buy the bike and put it under his name then i just drive it so then it wont be so much $ on me? can this work or is that illegal for me to be driving someone elses bike? is there anyway like i stated above to make my insurance cheaper if this doesnt work?""

Best life insurance...?

Best life insurance What is the Best life insurance company

What is affordable insurance for nasal fracture (nose broken) in Texas?

i'm looking for insurance that cover foe nasal fracture that i can affort..I live in Texas .. i look for the cost for the doctor, and it is too much to pay put of my pocket without insurance""

I hit a dog last night with my car what should i tell my insurance company now that its the next day?

I don't care about paying a deductible just need it fixed asap so I can get back on the road damages will cost to much to pay on my on

How can the government force us to buy health insurance?

I don't get how people aren't more upset about this. I don't want to have to pay for health insurance. I go to local clinics when I get sick and I pay my bills. And If I ever need an ambulance or something I will pay for that out of my own pocket. I don't want health insurance. But under the democrats new plan I would have to buy insurance that I don't want! Its just as bad as being forced here in california to buy car insurance when I don't want it. How are poor people going to afford to pay for health insurance? I have friends who know that they won't have the money to buy insurance. The economy is though enough. How are people without jobs going to buy health insurance? My dad lives in massachuasets. And he's told me how much he hates having to buy insurance there.

What is the average rate of car insurance for 16 year old driver?

I am going to be 16 and i am just wondering how much will the insurance charge is i get added on right when i get my license?

health insurance for veterans that is affordable

health insurance for veterans that is affordable

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/moped-insurance-texas-tyler-brewer/"

[blogdangerousobjectcollecto-blog]

Who has a better idea for getting health insurance companies to cover pre-existing conditions?

"Who has a better idea for getting health insurance companies to cover pre-existing conditions?

The problem is that, without the mandate, insurance companies won't cover people with pre-existing conditions. Otherwise, people will just wait until they get sick to buy insurance.    So you have to create a system where everyone is insured -- a mandate.    OK, if you don't like the mandate, how would you get insurance companies to provide affordable insurance to people with pre-existing conditions without a requirement for everyone to have insurance    Your solution has to cover the situation where a person gets laid off, wants to start their own business, and needs to buy affordable individual coverage (not group coverage) for themselves and their family.    You have 30 minutes. Begin....now.

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeinsurancequotes.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

RELATED QUESTIONS: 

How can i look at insurance quotes for different cars at one time?

i'm looking to buy a used car right now, and i have a few different ones in mind. i would really like to be able to view the insurance quotes on each before i consider buying. is there an easier way than having to fill out all of my information & history each time?""

""If my mom adds me onto her car insurance, about how much would it go up?""

I'm 17 Shes with GEICO Its a Buick Rendezvous SUV (2004) Our zip is 33312 (South florida, if this helps for those answering that may be in my area) I have a clean record B Average in school""

Car insurance question.?

My half sister is turning 18 in a few days and she wants to use my grandmothers car for the her driver's license test. She doesn't live with my grandmother nor is she related to her, if that matters. So my question is does she need to be on my grandmother's car insurance policy to take the test with her car? If not, would she have to be put on the insurance policy if she were to drive my grandmother's car after she received her license? I live in CA btw.""

Will auto insurance provider raise my premium rates for filing a claim even if the incident is not my fault?

I just noticed some deep scrapes/scratches on left corner of rear bumper on my Prius after returning from late-night shopping. I was thinking about filing a claim on basis of vandalism, but I heard providers tend to raise rates for filing a claim whether it's my fault or not. I'm just wondering if it'll cost me less in the long run to go for it or just find and go to an auto paint shop directly?""

Would claiming on insurance/suing cause this guy to lose his job?

Basically, Iive in NY and a while ago I was driving to work when a taxi in the next lane floored the gas, then came into my lane too early, and smacked into the side of my car. (http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/hs047.snc6/167708_1829137573885_1403718556_32066375_2647816_n.jpg the car was spun a few times before hitting the curb and i got severe whip lash, taking a few weeks off work which isn't good in my profession. I fully planned to make an insurance claim but my lawyer also suggested suing for dangerous driving. It has struck me however that this guy might lose his cab if I do so, and he is likely to have much money, while I could pay for the damages, or a new car. I don't want to make this guy lose his job, how would it play out?""

AAA Insurance In California & Speeding Tickets?

Does AAA insurance allow you to go to traffic school so your insurance rates don't go up? it's my first time offense

Would your name show up on car insurance papers if their were to be two people on the insurance?

My dad is the main person on the car insurance and if he was to put me on it, would my name show on the car insurance papers?""

Do 'normal' car insurance companies insure exotic cars as well?

I've gone to multiple popular car insurance agencies websites and tried to get a quote for a Lamborghini, but in the drop down menu there is never an option for it. I'm beginning to wonder if they even do insure these kinds of cars?""

""Turning 16, Car Insurance?""

I'm turning 16 in April, 2012. I'd like to get a car / drivers license around my 16th birthday. My dad mentioned I need drivers ed, a car, car insurance, and hopefully that's it! Lol. How much would insurance be for me, at 16? Any advice, or suggestions abou my situation? I'm a good student in school with a 3.14 GPA, and pretty responsible.""

Who is the cheapest car insurer for 2011?

my car insurance has gone up 140 this year

How can i get insurance for my bike ?

I am planning to purchase mahindra bike hopefully. how to get insurance for that ?

How/where can I get affordable braces?

Hey Yahoo Answers, I have been wanting to get braces for the past 5 years (since 2007). My main obstacle is affording them. They're heinously expensive. Also, the idea of ...show more""

Car Sales/Insurance Sales?

OK, so just want an opinion. I just got a job to sell cars. Its slow right now, they said avg salesman sells about 8 cars a month. its a 1,000 draw,. $500 per month, and %25 to %30 commission. But I also got accepted to be an insurance agent for Farmers, all I have to do is pass the license test. But this could take up to a month. And Im not sure how the pay works, if its 100% commission, or whatever. I might not be making money for a while when im first starting up. If they offered some type of base pay then I am leaning towards the insurance agent, but then again the economy sucks right now. Any advice..which would you take? I am thinking of just doing the car sales for a while, save $$ and then get into insurance afterwards, but I might lose this opportunity. What do you think...thanks.""

What is the difference between a liability vs full coverage insurance for motorcycles?

also, what is the cost of each insurance? And which one should I get? I am 18 and going and live in PA. Thanks to anyone who could help.""

RIDICULOUS CAR INSURANCE QUOTES!!!?

I'm 18 I've just bought a Vauxhall corsa 1.2 and it's 1995, bought it for 250 ha. Anyway been looking for quotes and they're coming in 3500+!!!!! I'm getting so stressed out with the prices I'm full time worker and work 10 miles away from home so I need a car. I've tried having my mum as the lead and me a named driver, tried all the comparison sites and even had quotes for the black box but they're coming in all over 3500! Please can someone give me some advise or something. I'm wanting to pay about 2000 which I didn't think was unrealistic? Thanks""

Car insurance i need it so what are some cheap ways of getting it?

OK i an 17 year old and i just got and 1987 mercury cougar and i been looking around for car insurance and why do all of them want like 406-719 a mouth!!!!! that is crazy what should i do i need car insurance to get a license plate so what are some car insurance for a 17 year old cheap i can get o yea my dad said hes not putting me on his policy so now what

Best & cheapest car insurance?

Who is the cheapest but still good car insurance that you think...

Why is my car on Motor Insurance Database (MID) while I haven't bought insurance yet?

I've just bought a used car for my son, received the new log book; however, I haven't bought insurance yet, as I intend to keep the car off road at the moment. But when I checked my car on the Motor Insurance Database (MID), it recognized my car. Apparently it is ok to drive this car, although I haven't bought insurance for it. Do you think this is ok, or will I be stopped by the police driving this car?""

Buying a car but don't have insurance?

I'm in the process of getting my first car in my name on my own insurance.. How do I go about doing that? I can't get the insurance without knowing exactly what car I am getting, but my understanding is that I can't drive the car off the dealers lot until I have insurance in order to drive it home? What to do? Thanks, Chris""

How much does the insurance pay for inconvenience fees?

I was in a wreck the other day and it was the person's fault who hit me. My car is totaled. She was fine and all i had was a cut and i went to the ER and they did xrays and they took out a piece of glass. Her insurance company is pretty good they already have me a rental car and they are buying me a new car and they are even giving me cash for maintenance costs and stuff I've done to my car in the past 6 months and then they said that they are paying inconvenience fees for having to go to the hospital. They have already paid for the xrays and the bills for the hospital so why are they giving me more money for this 'inconvenience fee' and how much will it be? Thanks

Car insurance - using someone else's non claim discounts?

is it legal in Uk to drive a car with insurance that is cheap because i am using someone else's - living in other country no claim discounts?

""Cheap dental work without insurance in Oregon, Gresham?""

Cheap dental work without insurance in Oregon, Gresham?""

""Had a car accident , no insurance ?

I got into a car accident and I have expired insurance. I was wondering if I could pay the late fee on my insurance and would they still pay for my car problems. And for it to get out of the car lot. PGAC is closed today

Question about state health insurance in georgia?

Im moving from Massachusetts to Georgia in march. My work doesn't offer insurance so we are on commonwealth care. Its state insurance. Im trying to find out if there is state insurance in ga as well iv got children and need insurance for them. Im not sure if the job im taking will offer some but in the mean time I need something. Can someone tell me if they have state health insurance or some type of low cost for low income? Thanks.

How much does a root canal cost with insurance?

I do not have insurance right now. I went to the dentist's office recently and was informed that I have two wisdom teeth grown in. I have a job that offers dental insurance but I have to wait 3 more months to receive this benefit. I don't know if I should wait a few more months and pay less to get my wisdom teeth removed or if I should get it treated now and pay over $2,000 for 2 root canals and make a monthly payment of $200 for 12 months. How much would I save and pay if I were to get 2 root canals with dental insurance?""

Who has a better idea for getting health insurance companies to cover pre-existing conditions?

The problem is that, without the mandate, insurance companies won't cover people with pre-existing conditions. Otherwise, people will just wait until they get sick to buy insurance.    So you have to create a system where everyone is insured -- a mandate.    OK, if you don't like the mandate, how would you get insurance companies to provide affordable insurance to people with pre-existing conditions without a requirement for everyone to have insurance    Your solution has to cover the situation where a person gets laid off, wants to start their own business, and needs to buy affordable individual coverage (not group coverage) for themselves and their family.    You have 30 minutes. Begin....now.

How Do I get a reasonable car insurance price for a seventeen year old boy in the UK?

I'm sixteen at the moment, but I'm looking at insurance prices and they're ridiculous! (I got a quote of 5000 at one point :l) Have you got any tips for how to get a lower premium. Thanks. A really comprehensive list would be great because I have no idea! I have tried looking at insurance group one cars, but the prices are still really high.""

Is this insurance Fraud?

My Fiance and I have very expensive car insurance right now and when we went to change companies the company we were at (its a certified insurance company) wanted to keep our business so they made our insurance allot cheaper by saying we are married, but we are only engaged. Can we get in trouble for this? Is it insurance fraud.""

Why is it that you pay all this money for car insurance?

Why is it that you pay all this money for car insurance and after an accident you still need to pay a deductible? Think about this; if you payed $200 a month for 5 yrs without an accident; that's $12,000; you would still need to pay a deductible to get your car fix and your premiums will go up. That's enough money to buy a new compact car. Just curious to see if anyone has the answer.""

What is the toll free phone number for Travelers Insurance?

I am looking for a toll free phone number with Travelers Insurance that is dedicated to new customer quotes not existing customer service.

Is car insurance cheaper for a 2008 Honda Accord then a 2005 Honda Pilot?

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How do I know what medication is covered under my insurance?

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Do I Need Auto Insurance if I don't have a car?

Ok, well i just got my liscense [ i`m 16 ] ... i don't have a car, so do i need auto insurance? i don't know if this is a dumb question, but people are telling me i need to be added to my mom's insurance and stuff. i`m trying to under stnad the whole car insurance thing so hopefully somebody can help.""

How much could I get a Vauxhall Astra for + Insurance?

I'm going to be driving in a couple of years and my friends brother has an Astra. I really like it and just wondering how cheap I could get one and insurance etc.

Car insurance!!?

i finally got my license , my dad is giving me his car and he has insurance but my name is not on the policy. can i still drive. Im leaving for vacation in two weeks so putting my name on the policy will just cost money for just two weeks. i won't be back for three months from vacation.""

Auto Insurance rates?

Is there a web site where I can see how a particular type of car rates for insurance vs another car?

So I'm a little confused about car insurance.?

So when the feeloaders who are generally poor and cannot afford car insurance, don't buy car insurance, which way is cheaper??? The gov't taxing me to purchase car insurance from the insurance companies for these freeloaders ? OR the insurance company simply raising my rates to cover the freeloaders ? You see, it seems to me that adding an additional layer of gov't beauracracy would cost more, but I have been told I am wrong. Am I wrong?""

Can i get homeowners insurance on second home?

I have a second home and need to get homeowners insurance on it. Is it possible to get this kind of policy on a second home?

How does my driving record affect my parents insurance rates?

In Illinois How does my driving record (20 F) affect my parents auto insurance if I'm not on their policy? I have my own car in my name and my own insurance policy in a different company than theirs. I do have 2 points on my record from a collision back in Oct. of 08' shortly after I got my license. Even than I had my own car and own insurance. I do live at home but I don't drive any of their cars ever.

Can someone tell me how much will cost insurance for my friends car just for driving test day?

Can someone tell me how much will cost insurance for my friends car just for driving test day?

Term Life Insurances-Unknown policy?

Could anyone, e.g my ex-wife, open an insurance policy for me and make herself the beneficiary without me knowing. If that can be done how can I confirm that there is such a policy?""

What is the penalty for driving without insurance in California?

If you have proof of insurance, and you pay monthly for insurance but it is invalid insurance because your license is suspended. I've seen answers from $500 up to $2000 what is correct.""

Finding the cheapest health insurance to waive school health insurance?

Hello, My college requires that each and every student have health insurance or else they will put you on the school's health insurance - which costs $500 a semester. I've been trying to find an insurance company/plan that meet the requirements to waiver the school's health insurance. Does anyone know a cheap health insurance company/plan in Colorado that meets these requirements? 1. Outside plan must have an annual deductible of $1,500 or less (if it's a family plan, members must have an individual deductible of $1,500 or less). 2. Outside plan must be a Comprehensive Health Insurance Plan that covers medical care for both Injury and Illness, including outpatient AND inpatient medical services. (Non-Comprehensive policies such as Injury, Diagnosis, Cancer, Hospitalization or Catastrophic only plans DO NOT COMPLY). 3. Outside plan must have Mental Health Care Coverage that includes both inpatient and outpatient benefits that have the following minimum levels: Inpatient -- coverage of at least $10,000 or 45 days, Outpatient -- coverage of at least $1,000 or 20 visits.""

What is the cheapest car insurance for someone who has tickets?

(male, living in sacramento, ca)""

What ia a good affordable health insurance for children?

What ia a good affordable health insurance for children?

Why is health-care so expensive?

Just last year in CA Medi-Cal (state medicaid) stop covering for dentistry and optometry for people over 21. The total cost of my dental braces is $4550. I need them so I can fix some teeth that are misaligned. I pay $100 and it seems like its a never ending balance. I been doing this for 2 years now. I have Medi-Cal because of my SSI but that doesnt cover anymore because I am 21. My mother had heart surgery in 2007 and we still haven't payed a bill. My parents don't have any insurance. They used to have Medi-Cal but when Schwarzenegger became the governor in 2003 he made some changes to the policies and they stop having Medi-Cal. She tried applying for SSI but she keeps getting denied. The republicans should stop attacking Obama and work together to pass the health-care reform.

Help with getting car insurance in NY?

I really need to get a car, just got my drivers license but the insurance companies are trying to charge me over 600 a month. I have heard about people getting their insurance in maryland and other close by states, will i be able to do that? or anything ? oh and i'm 22 btw""

Where is a good source of life insurance sales leads.?

I am a new life agent and I am trying to get started in the insurance industry. I am looking for more sources of leads other than my family, friends or the local chamber I've joined. Does anyone have any ideas??""

Where can i buy cheap but good health insurance under $120 dollars?

I am young and very healthy, and rarely have to be seen by a doctor. So besides not being wealthy, i want to find a cheap, but good health insurance...""

Can young drivers get cheaper car insurance with really big excess?

Can young drivers get cheaper car insurance with really big excess?

UK Car Insurance for young drivers?

Hi, well i have been driving for almost a year now and i was paying 4500(Extremely Expensive i know) for insurance with Hughes. I am just wondering how to get the bare minimum cheapest insurance possible for an 18 year old with 1 year no claims. I recently got quoted again for 1500. It would be greatly appreciated if anyone could tell me how to make the insurance as cheap as possible (In my own name) Thanks!""

Who has a better idea for getting health insurance companies to cover pre-existing conditions?

The problem is that, without the mandate, insurance companies won't cover people with pre-existing conditions. Otherwise, people will just wait until they get sick to buy insurance.    So you have to create a system where everyone is insured -- a mandate.    OK, if you don't like the mandate, how would you get insurance companies to provide affordable insurance to people with pre-existing conditions without a requirement for everyone to have insurance    Your solution has to cover the situation where a person gets laid off, wants to start their own business, and needs to buy affordable individual coverage (not group coverage) for themselves and their family.    You have 30 minutes. Begin....now.

Insurance on this car?

Ok so I was looking on Craigs list, I'm thinking of buying my first car in a few months. I have a lot of money saved up. Theres a 1996 Taurus LX for sale for $1800. It has 119,000 miles on it, and it gets 25mpg. I'll only have this car until I go to college, because I can't take it up to Boulder with me. College is two years away. However, if I do go to Boulder, I'll only be two hours away from home, so when I come home I might want to have the car. What would you say the insurance would be on this car, so basically how much would I have to pay per year for insurance. We are not thinking about repairs or gas here, just insurance.""

Cheap insurance companies?

So ive just bought my new car, its a renault clio 1.4l. Its my first car and its insurance group 4. So i wanted to know if anybody knows any cheap and good insurance companies, thanks""

Where can I find out about my health insurance?

My school said that if I drop courses making me a part time student, it could affect my health insurance. How do I find out about my health insurance?""

Is their a mazda 6 with low insurance in florida?

what year? model?

The Best Health Insurance ..?

Hi there folks, I am new in this health insurance business and we are shopping for one. We live in Texas. Im looking for a plan for me and my wife. What's the best plan you guys have that affordable plan with the best coverage for 2 people.What do you have and what would you recommend? And whats the best health insurance plan that is affordable and also covers pregnancy? Please do let us know , I would really appreciate your responses. Camry Lover""

What happens if you can't afford the affordable health insurance?

What happens if you can't afford the affordable health insurance?

Car insurance rates for a 2008 ford crown victoria?

was gonna look at one

How much will my car insurance go up?

I got 2 points on my license, i pay $700 a year now, and this is my first violation. I live in new york""

Help with Health Insurance?

hi, im a 20 year old male and i have no health insurance. i have deviated septum and need it to be surgically fixed. was wondering if i could join an insurance plan just for that surgery. it is not a pre-existing condition, so could i get the surgery during the waiting period and if not, what are good insurance companies that have relatively low periods.""

What is Yearly renewable term insurance ?

My agent said that that the insurance that they offer has a feature of Yearly renewable term insurance? What is it exactly?

Health insurance for a minor...?

I moving to California and on my own and I am 17, turning 18 in about 2 months, and I was wondering how much health insurance would cost me? and what would it cover?""

Medical Health Insurance Florida: Affordable Options?

Are there affordable choices for medical health insurance in Florida? I run a small business with just a few employees. I am having difficultly finding options I can afford.

Democrats: So will there be fine for not having health insurance or not?

When I asked this question just yesterday, Democrats assured me there wouldn't be ANY fine for not having health insurance - it was an OPTION.""

Is there an affordable health insurance plan?

Hey, I'm 17 years old and I have a baby. We both have MOLINA insurance. But my boyfriend who's 19 doesnt have any health insurance. He works full time and is about to be going to college part time. Well his wisdom teeth are coming in crooked and he cant get them fixed because it costs so much. Is there any health insurance plan that wont cost us an arm and a leg? And doesnt have a catch?""

Where to get online insurance quotes for health?

Where to get online insurance quotes for health? I should compare plans from major insurance company.

What does the average American that already had health insurance get out of Obamacare besides higher premiums?

Peoples insurance rates are being raised already even though Obamacare isn't fully implemented. Mine went up by 34% over last year.

Would a pontiac grand prix have high insurance?

the car is a 2001 Pontiac Grand Prix SE 4 Door Sedan. I am 24. Would a car like this generally have higher insurance rates than average?

How much does car insurance cost?

if you can't give me an exact amount or something that's fine, just give me some kind of ball park.""

Buying auto insurance?

Is it possible for someone to buy auto insurance with their brother?

What is Title insurance?

What is it for? any advantages? how will it benefit me?

Will my insurance go up when someone hits me?

I was driving on the highway, suddenly traffic slows down and we were driving at regular speed (65). i check my side mirror's, and the next thing i know my brand new car has no bumper. some idiot did not pay attention and he hit me. total repair is $1538. now, will his insurance call my insurance and let them know about it? will my insurance rates rise even though its not my fault?""

Where can I find ratings for the service of various insurance companies?

Where can I find ratings for the service of various insurance companies?

""Okay so sent off for my provisional license and thinking about cars and insurance now, just need a little help?""

Okay so I'm 16, turning 17 very soon and going to start driing lessons soon, but I need a car after that and I'm going to have to pay the majority of the insurance and the car myself. I only have a part time job where I work thursday evening and saturday mornings at like 6.00 an hour. What car is a good car for a person my age, what about insurance for that car how much is that going to cost? Overall what would you say is the total amount I should save up in order to get a car and decent insurance? Thanks :)""

Classic car insurance from a 17 year old? less than a grand (VW Beetle)?

Hi all, Im 17 a VW enthusiast and just passed my driving test. I'm not saying im going to be any different to the statistics but im not a racer at all, lack of experience is still an issue though Guys preimiems are double girls and yet i think its possible to get insurance ive heard of people who have just wonder from which company? Im after insurance for a VW type 1 1300 beetle or a VW split screen camper for a 17 year old. As anyone who has tried getting a quote for a 17 year old boy its going to be 800 for cheap 1L car, 900 for a 1.25L Fiesta or 1,400 for a 1.4L Zetec. So im after insurance for less than 1000 has anyone manged it for a classic car? and where? The RAC quoted 1,100 and then went to ask about it and then they refused had several quote for a 1.6L beetle (due to age and slowness) of 1,400 but would like under a 1000""

How do i go about getting car insurance?

ok so i just bought my first car but i dont know a thing about getting insurance nd what not.. my mum said something about third party insurance and greenslips and what not. what's the first step i should take?

Who has a better idea for getting health insurance companies to cover pre-existing conditions?

The problem is that, without the mandate, insurance companies won't cover people with pre-existing conditions. Otherwise, people will just wait until they get sick to buy insurance.    So you have to create a system where everyone is insured -- a mandate.    OK, if you don't like the mandate, how would you get insurance companies to provide affordable insurance to people with pre-existing conditions without a requirement for everyone to have insurance    Your solution has to cover the situation where a person gets laid off, wants to start their own business, and needs to buy affordable individual coverage (not group coverage) for themselves and their family.    You have 30 minutes. Begin....now.

Cheapest car insurance in houston tx?

hello i need to find auto insurance that i can afford, i was wondering do they have one thats under a 100 ? well can you list me places that have the cheapest auto insurance""

Is car insurance calculator is necessary for the car owner?

I think car insurance calculator is necessary for the car owner, is it really true?""

How can I find affordable healthcare coverage for my employees.?

I have a small business, 5 employees and my rates are outragous!!! Please let me know how I can provide this benefit for my employees without spending so much. Thank you for any ...show more""

Should medical insurance be only for childrens?

I am doing a paper on medical Insurance for my class project I have 10 question that I need answers too.

""Do you think that the government ought to put a cap on car insurance ,and the prices they charge since its law""

car insurance is at rediculous rates. government says everyone has to have it , and insurance companies are making it almost impossible to afford. I have a wife and 2 kids we have to have 2 vehicles. but i can't afford the insurance on either one of them. now i'm breaking a law. what does anyone else think.""

What information do I need to give out to be on someone else's car insurance?

My fiance and I are borrowing a newly acquired friend's car to drive from our wedding 2 1/2 hours to the airport, we are also driving the car from our school to the wedding 2 1/2 hours. We have also driven the car before, and may drive it again. Now our friend is saying that we should be on her insurance, and we're afraid this person might be an identity thief or something, and they are asking for our driver's license number and a signature. We don't know the insurance company they are with, but do we have to give out any information at all? And if so, what kind of information are we required to give? My fiance is worried about giving out our drivers license numbers. They asked for both of ours, even though he is the only one driving. Thanks for your help. Serious and professional answers only please.""

How much do you have to pay for your teen's car insurance?

also, what does he/she drive and the year?""

""Car insurance is to high for me, will riding a 50cc or 125cc reduce my insurance?""

I am 19 and have passed my car driving licence 2 months ago. The insurance for all the cars I have looked at are way to high. More than 2500. I am doing my CBT next week, I was wondering if I drive a moped or 125cc for a year or two will this reduce my car insurance, please help as I need to get on the road. Thankyou.""

""How can i get affordable health insurance, with a low income?""

I work part time,i am physically disabled ,my husb is unemployable,rejected from disability, i have very bad health condition and need health insurance to continue dr.care....How can i get affordable health insurance that won't cost me a fortune? I have gone to the DPA and i was rejected by them. I suffer with depression/(diagnosed bi-polar) ,,disc disease,IBS....i must obtain medical Insurance to continue treatment in order to continue working...how can i get help?""

Can i get insured on a golf gti as a young driver.?

I have passed my driving test for 5 months now and have been driving my own corsa in that time. Im thinking of getting a VW golf now. Whats peoples opinion on golf gti's on fuel ect and will i get insured. Not too expensive. Ideas?? Else i will just get a normal golf.

""How much is car insurance in albany,ny?""

i had car insurance in brooklyn,ny but now i got verry expensive, so i thought to go to albany to get cheaper nsurance""

How much does car insurance in u.s.a. cost I need to know or i'm sincerely screwed so please help I loove you?

Hello I'm about to go the u.s. to work in production. anyway what I'd like to know is what's the cost of car insurance. I'm a male whose been aged 21 years old since august 2010; and if i get a car over there it will probably be me fist. just want to know can you give me an average price - is it expensive or would it be under $5,000. for example i know you'll say it depends but please just give me a rough guestimate or average THANK YOU P.S. I LOVE AMERICA.""

HHEELLLPP!!!!! with TEEN car insurance!!!!?

I would like to either add a 17 year old to an insurance policy or get one specifically for him..... i called geico, but they said they dont insure teens!!! What can i do? THANKS""

Are trucks cheaper to insure for teenagers?

Im looking into getting my first car and i was just wondering if its cheaper to insure a truck then a car. I am 17 years old and live in alberta canada, everyone tells me that they are cheaper to insure but how much cheaper?""

Insurance if you are rich?

ok i dont know much about insurance, just wondering if you need insurance if you make 4 million dollars per year?""

""Changed bike on my insurance, new letter says premium : -63.40?""

Hi, i change the motorbike on my insurance, i changed it from a 125 cc ybr to a 660cc mto3!! and well they told me it would not cost anything to change the insurance! how good is ...show more""

Legal question about car insurance?

I bought a car off of my coworker a few months back, and everything is in my name. I had paid for insurance but I was going through a rough patch and it lapsed. My mother, whom is living with me, decided to be nice and pay for a month of insurance, through a new company. This is a new policy, as my old one had lapsed. Recently though, my mother and myself have had a falling out. She's holding my car over my head. She says since she paid for a month of insurance she has free reign over using my car. The car is in my name, and as far as I'm aware based on documents the insurance is as well. The only difference is she paid for that one month of insurance for me. And that month she paid for is still active. So like I said, she is holding the car over my head. I left my house the other night with my car key so she couldn't use it - This is after everyone I asked that I knew told me to take the keys. She is also living with me, I am renting the home. She is making threats through text messages saying that if I don't return the car key she will cancel my policy. Is that possible for her to do? She just paid for a month of insurance, and I believe I'm completely in control of my policy. I don't believe it can be cancelled through her calling. Is that possible? Anyone know? So not only do I own the car, I also rent the house. Legally I don't believe she can hold my own car over my head. Also, to add... After taking my keys, I left my home and went to a my girlfriends to get away for a while. Since I have taken my car keys, she has taken and hid my car battery to insure that I am unable to remove my car from my property. She refuses to give it back because she paid for my one month of insurance to start my policy again... So my questions... 1. Is it possible for her to cancel my insurance is the car is in my name, and if the policy, I believe, is also in my name? 2. Legally, can I call the local police department and have her surrender both my car, as well as it's car battery to me? I don't have my registration information on me, she removed that from the car as well. But a quick look up on my license, as well as my car insurance card that I have should be enough to validate it is indeed my car, correct?""

Best place to purchase health insurance?

I am starting my own small business and need health insurance for my family. I won't go with Kaiser, please don't ask why. I need an HMO with no deductable or a very low deductable because in my area the Blue Cross, Blue Shield, HealthNet networks have pretty good doctors and hospitals within their approved networks. It will be a family-owned sole prop business. I live and work in California, but if there is value in incorporating in another state for the purpose of taxes or prices on health insurance, I guess I could do it...because I have not formally formed the corporation yet. I used to be under the impression that the best prices for Heath Insurance came when you worked for a big company, but things seem to have changed. I recently worked for another smalll family-owned business, and they got very good rates by incorporating and claiming a Headquarters in Washington. What is the best strategy to get the best insurance at the lowest rates for a small group- one family? Thanks!""

Mustang GT car insurance?

Hey in 16 and im looking at buying a 1994-2005 Mustang GT. I like working on cars and this car seems to me an awesome car to work on. I just wanted to know how much people pay for insurance with a mustang GT. Also how much more would it cost because i am 16.

CA DUI expungement affect insurance rates?

I received a DUI back in July of 2001, and it has been affecting my insurance rate ever since. Under the new DUI laws the DUI I received (a misdemeanor) will be on my record until 2011. I qualify for expungement of this record. My question is if I do expunge my DUI will my auto insurance company be able to see my dmv record and will my insurance company be allowed to charge me the same rate?""

Insurance for dummies(life insurance)?

Please help . I took out a life insurance policy about 8 years ago it is a whole life insurance policy and has some cash value .I recently discovered I have a group life insurance policy at work . Should I keep both or cash in the whole life insurance policy which is worth about 11,000 in coverage and 1,100 in cash value . The work policy is worth about 65,000 in coverage and 0 cash value""

Car insurance question?

Im currently a proposed driver on an car insurance policy(FULLY COMP) on a Fiat Punto and im 19. My elder brother is getting a Vauxhall VXR and said if he is insured on the car (fully comp) and said if i drive his car, i am legally allowed to drive it but i will only be covered under Third Party. Can someone outline the Rights and Wrongs? Is it actually legal? any problems which may arise?""

""Are deductibles such as auto insurance or extended warranty deductions, taxable?

I had to pay a $100 deductible (plus $13 tax) when a repair was made under my extended warranty on my car. Was this a taxable item?

Average Insurance Price For 08 Ninja ZX10r?

I am 21 years old and was thinking of buying a new zx10. Its 999 cc's, i dont have any violations within 3 years i have a garage and practically no crime neighborhood. The reason im asking is ive done 4 online quotes and they are all like 500 a month which is impossible to afford. Im just looking for the least possible amount if any one has any helpful info id appreciate your feedback.""

Where can i get non-owner's insurance in houston?

i need some cheap, yet effective non-owner's insurance. if anyone knows of a smaller insurance company that provides this, preferably on the east side of houston, i would be most grateful. any info would be welcomed (but none of those sarcastic i dunnos just to get points). thanx.""

Who has a better idea for getting health insurance companies to cover pre-existing conditions?

The problem is that, without the mandate, insurance companies won't cover people with pre-existing conditions. Otherwise, people will just wait until they get sick to buy insurance.    So you have to create a system where everyone is insured -- a mandate.    OK, if you don't like the mandate, how would you get insurance companies to provide affordable insurance to people with pre-existing conditions without a requirement for everyone to have insurance    Your solution has to cover the situation where a person gets laid off, wants to start their own business, and needs to buy affordable individual coverage (not group coverage) for themselves and their family.    You have 30 minutes. Begin....now.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/washington-health-insurance-apple-noah-daniels/"

[newssplashy]

Again, Umuleri raises the alarm, calls on Obiano, police to act fast

• ’No issue with Umuleri’

Geoffrey Anyanwu, Awka

Sixteen years after the end of the infamous Aguleri, Umuleri inter-communal war that claimed many lives and almost sent the two communities of Anambra East Local Government of Anambra State extinction, signs of a possible renewal of hostilities are emerging.

 Consequently, one of the communities, Umueri which seems to be the one in dire need of peace has again called on the state government and the police authorities to act quickly and avert an imminent clash between the two neighbouring communities.

 The Aguleri-Umueri land dispute dates back to the pre-Independence era as the matter was said to have been heard at the Privy Council, United Kingdom during the colonial period.

 Notwithstanding the Supreme Court ruling in 1984, a full blown war broke up between the two communities in 1999, which claimed many lives and property and drew the attention of the international communities, with the then president, Chief Olusegun Obasanjo visiting the communities.

 The Supreme Court had held that neither Aguleri nor Umueri could provide enough evidence to prove she had exclusive ownership of Otu-Ocha land which had been the main bone of contention and directed each community to hold on to the part of Otu-Ocha and adjoining areas where she had traditionally and originally held sway.

 But in the last three years, the communities have been having issues mostly bordering on ownership of land in which the Police authority has intervened severally.

 In July last year at a resumed hostilities where about 18 houses were destroyed and people wounded, the Umueri community raised the alarm over what she called “serial and illegal acquisition and invasion of Umueri land by our esteemed neighbour, Aguleri,” and made it clear that Umueri did not want to fight again because  “wars as anathema-ill winds blow no one any good” in an address read by the Assistant Secretary, Edwin Obigwe, on behalf of the President-General, Umueri General Assembly (UGA), Chief Pius Okonkwo.

He added: “Specifically, Umueri wants enduring and genuine peace with Aguleri. This is because we have built relationships (personal as well as business and even religious) with Aguleri people over several decades, if not centuries. We cherish these relationships and want to protect them.

 “We appeal to the Governor of Anambra State, Chief Willie Obiano who hails from Aguleri, to use this opportunity of being at the helms of affairs to put in place the machinery for achieving genuine peace between Aguleri and Umueri.

 “This appeal is made even as we hear from some quarters that he is actually the person who is instigating his people of Aguleri to cash in upon this ‘golden opportunity’ provided by his stint to acquire as much Umueri land as possible. We do not want to believe this story…

 “We  call  on  the  Anambra  State  Government  to  quickly  implement  the recommendations contained in the white paper issued by government after the infamous 1999 hostility between our two communities. The said recommendations are quite sound and their implementation, will no doubt, bring total peace to our beleaguered area.”

 The Police intervened then and there was calm but the ugly situation reared its head again and became serious a fortnight ago when Umueri claimed that some people from Aguleri were trespassing on their land with impunity and removing sign posts hoisted on the said land and erecting structures in breach of the Commissioner of Police’s directive that all should stay away from the said land. 

Worried by the mounting tension, the Umueri General Assembly (UGA) through its President General, Chief Pius Okonkwo and Secretary General, Mr. Samuel Mbukwesili wrote a petition to the Police Commissioner asking for immediate action to avert trouble.

 According to Chief Okonkwo, “the latest development on the petition in your hand is that instead of Police going to arrest those two guys, they turned around to begin to arrest our people and as I am speaking to you, one Chief Mike was arrested.”

 The Umueri people in their petition to the state Police boss which was signed by Okonkwo and Mbukwesili, said: “May it be recalled that we were invited to your office on the 23rd of March, 2018 over the trespass on Aguakor Umueri Land by Aguleri people of Anambra East Local Government Area of Anambra State. And in submission and respect to your office, we honoured the invitation. At the meeting, which was attended by representatives of both communities, you directed all the newly erected sign posts on the said land be removed.

 “Contrary to your directives, the Aguleri people reluctantly removed the sign posts on 25th day of March, 2018. In defiance to your directives and prior to their removal of the sign posts, the Aguleri people through Mr. Godwin Nwajekwu (Chairman Umuriabo Eziagulu Aguleri) and Mr. Chukwudi Nwakasi with their armed thugs commenced the erection of two permanent structures on the land and the structures are being erected in the night and they are heavily armed in other to instigate and provoke inter-communal crises between the two communities.

 “Attached for your perusal are copies of photographs of the buildings erected by the Aguleri people through Mr. Godwin Nwajekwu (Chairman Umuriabo Eziagulu Aguleri) and Mr. Chukwudi Nwakasi with their armed thugs on the said land in the night on the 24th and 25th days of March, 2018.

 “Suffice it to bring to your notice that these illegal activities by the Aguleri people through Mr. Godwin Nwajekwu (Chairman Umuriabo Eziagulu Aguleri) and Mr. Chukwudi Nwakasi with their armed thugs pose serious threat to the lives of Umueri indigenes and, if not stopped, may breach public peace and cause inter-communal crises between the two communities. We shall, at your request, make all the necessary documents including government letters and court judgments available for your perusal.

 “We, therefore, on behalf of ourselves and the peace loving Umueri indigenes, implore you to use your good office to ensure that; (i) They remove the two structures erected by them in defiance to your instructions; (ii) To desist from embarking on further activities on the said land; (iii) To checkmate Mr. Godwin Nwajekwu (Chairman Umuriabo Eziagulu Aguleri) and Mr. Chukwudi Nwakasi with their armed thugs and bring them to book; (iv) That those Umueri sign posts removed and seized by the Aguleri through Mr. Godwin Nwajekwu (Chairman Umuriabo Eziagulu Aguleri) and Mr. Chukwudi Nwakasi with their armed thugs be returned to us and (v) To assign a police patrol team to the area for maintenance of law and order.”   

 But in a swift reaction, the President General of Aguleri Town Union, Mr. Mike Ejoor said his community has no issue with Umueri, as what might be happening in the area could be land dispute between families.

“Since the end of the 1999 communal crisis, we have not had any crisis with Umueri. Aguleri, as a community, has no common land, but it is not unusual for families that have common boundary to have misunderstanding over land.

 “For instance, my family has a boundary with Umueri and if there is any land dispute in the area, it is between the two families.”

 Also speaking on the issue, the traditional ruler of Umueri, Igwe Dan Emeka called for a permanent solution to the crisis between his community and Aguleri.

 Igwe Emeka said though peace has returned, there were fears in the minds of the people due to the failure of past administrations to implement the peace resolution white paper in 2001 by the judicial panel of inquiry that investigated the 1999 Umueri, Aguleri war.

  “The problem that Igbo people used to have is land; there was this piece of land called Aguago which has been in contention between Umueri and Aguleri. It has been a court matter that got to the Supreme Court and the Supreme Court ruled in favour of Umueri, but you know court decision does not actually bring permanent peace to a community but it only helps to tell the people who the owner of the place is. So in spite of the judgment, the Aguleri people are still laying claims over the land and Umueri people are saying the land belong to them, that judgment had been given and the judgment was correctly given.

 “Since then they have been in contention, but there was a time after the 1999 devastating communal war, we the elite decided to do away with this issue of land matter, we set up a peace committee for Umueri, Aguleri and Umu Oba Anam which waded into the matter. Government actually came in, set up panel of inquiry which came out with a white paper, but you know government in their own way have not been able to implement that white paper which was given in 2001 or 2002.”

 The monarch, however, urged Governor Obiano to write his name in gold by implementing the white paper which his predecessors could not implement, stressing that its implementation was the solution to the crisis.

The post Again, Umuleri raises the alarm, calls on Obiano, police to act fast appeared first on The Sun News.

source https://www.newssplashy.com/2018/04/again-umuleri-raises-alarm-calls-on.html

[trendingnewsb]

5 Superhero Movies That Are Only Worth It For One Scene

Bad superhero films are a treasure. Not only does one make you disappointed with Hollywood for creating a bad movie, but it also makes you doubly frustrated because they’re messing up something that you know is good in comic book form. However, we shouldn’t write off a bad superhero movie immediately. Upon closer examination, these terrible films can contain little glimpses of promise — little glimpses that make you say “This might be a secret masterpiece.” Or at least, “This doesn’t suck every poop.”

5

Batman & Robin — The Criminal Property Locker

In the annals of bad superhero films, Batman & Robin stands alone. It isn’t a “Well, maybe it’s not THAT bad” film like Superman Returns or Spider-Man 3. It isn’t a “I’ll forget the plot of this before I even leave the theater” film like X-Men: The Last Stand or Daredevil. It isn’t a “That’s a damn shame” film like Superman IV: The Quest For Peace or Robocop 2. And it isn’t a “If there is a God, they wouldn’t let this happen” film like Catwoman or Spawn. Instead, it’s a film that somehow gets both more amazingly terrible and more inexplicably enjoyable with time. I hate it and I love it in equal measure, and years after I’m dead, researchers will discover my skeleton clinging to a VHS copy of it, like Quasimodo and Esmeralda at the end of Hunchback Of Notre Dame.

But the movie does have one extremely cool split second. Now, there is a well-known Easter egg in Batman & Robin: When Bane and Poison Ivy are breaking Mr. Freeze out of Arkham Asylum, you get a glimpse of the “Criminal Property Locker.” And in the locker are the costumes of the Riddler and Two-Face from Batman Forever. That’s kind of neat — though since Two-Face died by falling into a spiky underwater pit, it does imply that some poor Arkham intern had to dry-clean and sew his fucking suit back together.

Warner Bros.

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5 Things You Can't Help But Wonder When Watching Movies

But the rest of the stuff in the room implies that when the Tim Burton/Joel Schumacher Batman wasn’t eviscerating clowns or neon terrorists, he was still pretty busy. Beside the Riddler’s suit is a doll, so at some point, was Val Kilmer punching the shit out of B-list villain Toyman? Or is that the work of the Dollmaker, a guy who made dolls out of his victims’ skin? Is that dude still in Arkham? It’s unlikely, considering that Michael Keaton’s Batman was one part hero and nine parts sadist, and probably attached a bomb to Dollmaker and peed on him a little bit before even learning his name. But still, the scene adds history to a series that seemed to be mostly about Batman sitting around in his office, waiting for crime to happen.

And then, on the right side, we see a pair of boxing gloves. So good luck, guy who was using those. I’m sure your career as Two-Punch Man was really hitting its peak just before Michael Keaton ripped your intestines out through your eye holes.

But the most interesting part is the big mechanical suit that we see, and on first glance, you’d probably assume that it’s Mr. Freeze’s suit, since that’s what Poison Ivy broke into the locker to get. But Mr. Freeze’s suit looks nothing like that. So either Mr. Freeze has been fighting Batman and Robin for so long that he’s had to upgrade his technology in order to keep his chilly ass un-kicked, or it belongs to another mech-suited villain. The pyromaniac Firefly, maybe? That would be so awesome, and now I’m so pissed that I never got to see Val Kilmer stare expressionless around a bug man with a flamethrower. What were you even good for if you couldn’t give us that, the ’90s?

4

Judge Dredd — The Angel Gang

Judge Dredd came out in 1995, when we were still trying to figure out whether superhero movies were going to be a thing. Sure, Superman and Batman had been pretty successful, but was there hope for anyone else? The answer to that was “Not yet,” as proven by the lackluster Judge Dredd, which featured Sylvester Stallone. I know that we’re all currently pretty high on Stallone after Creed, but between Rocky IV and Rocky Balboa, he was having a rough time being in any movie that someone could honestly call good. At his best, he was in films like Demolition Man — or as my dad would call it, Daniel, we need to talk.

Judge Dredd has sweet set design, but other than that, it’s a lot of Stallone and Armand Assante shouting at side characters who are too useless to be given their own shouting dialogue. The only time it really perks up is when Stallone and his little buddy Rob Schneider get captured in the wastelands by the Angel Gang. The Angel Gang are cannibals, and their role in the movie almost feels like Judge Dredd DLC. But during the gang’s brief vacation in your eyeballs, Judge Dredd ceases to be a humdrum exploration into the beauty of shoulder pads, and starts feeling special.

There are plenty of movies wherein superheroes fight random gangs. There are just as many superhero movies where the hero is forced to fight a guy who could’ve been a hero, but instead went evil. But there are very few superhero films in which the hero has to tangle with the cast of The Hills Have Eyes. The Angel Gang is a bunch of wild cards. They don’t want to build a city-sinking torpedo or open up a portal to release an ancient evil whatever; they just want to snack on you a little bit. They won’t say any clever lines or reveal any master plans. At most, they’ll maybe give you a recipe for you, medium-rare.

Sadly, their stay is brief, because Stallone soon escapes and jams an electrical wire into the head of most monosyllabic among them. Of course, the mutant does get to say, “You killed my Pa,” so it’s not a total waste.

3

Blade: Trinity — The Human Farm

Throughout the Blade series, characters are constantly mentioning the fact that the vampire universe is bigger than you know. Sure, you think we live in a world of humans and puppy dogs and hit singles from Evanescence, but underneath it all, there’s a society of vampires. And when that society decides to rule the world, Blade will … take them out pretty easily, actually. For a race that’s apparently thiiiiis close to dominating the world, they sure seem to be divided into easily spin-kicked pockets.

Blade: Trinity is the worst Blade film. The best thing about Blade and Blade 2 is that they feel inventive and fresh. You’re getting things from them that you wouldn’t get from a Spider-Man or X-Men film — namely, Wesley Snipes cursing and reducing screeching henchmen to ashes. It’s why they’re two of my favorite superhero films. On the other hand, Blade: Trinity features boring-ass Dracula and his something or another quest to vaguely rule the world. After years of tackling rave mutants and goth Nosferatus, Blade’s final fight is with a bad Witcher cosplayer.

Luckily, we do get one scene that feels like it came out of the earlier films. Blade finds a human farm, where a bunch of comatose people are vacuum-sealed into big Ziploc bags and used as a constant source of vampire food. It’s super creepy, and when Blade gets told that they’re all brain-dead, he shuts the whole thing down with barely a second thought or a quietly growled “motherfucker.”

New Line Cinema

It also gives the movie (and the series) a sense of grand scale that it had been lacking. Oh, THIS is what the vampires were hyping up when they were jabbering on about their big vampire plans. Well, I apologize for not paying more attention, emo ghouls. My bad. My bad.

2

X-Men: Apocalypse — Wolverine’s Introduction

Before Logan, we only got tastes of Wolverine’s full potential as a fighter. One taste was in X2, when he has to defend Xavier’s School for Kool Kidz and Cyclops from William Stryker’s men. But the best pre-Logan scene of Wolverine grinding his way through bad guys in order to level up for the final boss was in X-Men: Apocalypse. Wolverine appears for only a few minutes in this movie, and he looks like an absolute monster.

Imagine you’re a security guard for some mutant research project. You don’t really worry about those mutants escaping, because why would you? They’re usually sedated and subdued, and if they did start waking up, there’s a whole room full of guys with heavy firearms who would blow them away. Then one day, you’re eatin’ a microwavable chicken pot pie and thinking about your novel when you hear “Weapon X is loose.” You know, the most dangerous experiment in a whole building full of dangerous experiments. Will the gun they’ve given you work against someone with adamantium claws and, if the rumors you heard are true, healing powers? Maybe.

That’s the feeling you get during the scene in which Wolverine escapes: pure, pee-your-pants, “Oh my god, I was not properly trained for this” terror. Sure, Logan has a lot of scenes where he cuts his way through dudes, but that movie frames it as action, while this turns Wolverine into a slasher villain. It doesn’t hurt that the scene ends with a splash of blood coming from offscreen, which is slasher movie code for “Daaaammmnnn.”

The rest of the movie is pretty subpar. The X-Men’s most powerful villain, Apocalypse, is handled so poorly that you just wish Magneto could be the main bad guy for the fourth time. But I guess it’s to be expected that the best part of an X-Men film would include Hugh Jackman. Oh, Hugh. Was it something I said? Please come back.

1

Batman v. Superman — The Warehouse Fight

Batman v. Superman didn’t give us a lot of what I would call “iconic” Batman moments. At one point, he does ask Superman, “Do you bleed?” and that’s pretty cool. But then Superman flies off because he has more important things to do than to lightly argue with some billionaire manchild, leaving Batman just standing there. So what does Batman do? He says, “You will,” and TOTALLY WINS THAT CONVERSATION. You sure got him, dude helplessly standing in the wreckage of his super car. I’m sure the shower argument that you had by yourself later was full of similar zingers. “DO YOU BLEED? WELL, I BET YOU DO. AND THEN I’D FUCKING PUNCH HIM LIKE THIS, AND SUPERMAN WOULD BE ALL LIKE, ‘NO, PLEASE, STOP, BATMAN. I BET YOUR PENIS DOESN’T EVEN SLIGHTLY CURVE TO THE LEFT.’ AND I’D BE ALL LIKE BAM. POW. SHUT UP.”

On a more positive note, Batman v. Superman does have one awesome scene: the warehouse fight. Now, before I get into why this part is so great, I do have to say that a lot of it has to do with the critically acclaimed Batman: Arkham games, which make every other Batman fight scene in every other medium look like a slap fight among friends. In the Arkham games, you can sneak up behind a dude, choke him out, zip up to a gargoyle, fly over and drop-kick a man’s torso off his body, zip back up to another gargoyle, tie a guy up to said gargoyle, throw a smoke pellet, hit a thug with an electric shock gun, choke out another dude, and then run up to the last dude as he fills you with bullets and hope that your body armor holds up for long enough so that Batman can someday wear the man’s skull as a shoe.

That’s the kind of thing that we got in the Batman v. Superman warehouse scene, during which Batman goes back and forth, rearranging an entire gang’s internal organs using everything in his disposal. Here are a few highlights:

– A guy comes into the room brandishing a grenade, so Batman kicks a guy he already has hanging from the ceiling into the grenade man.

– Batman Rock Bottoms a dude into the floor — a technique most assuredly taught to him by Ra’s al Ghul when Batman trained with all of those ninjas. “You must learn to conquer your fear, Bruce,” I remember Ra’s saying in Batman Begins. “CONQUER IT WITH THE PEOPLE’S ELBOW.”

– Batman uses his grappling hook gun thing to sling a box into a guy, and the guy gets hit so hard that he flies into a wall and the back of his goddamn head apparently comes off.

There are a lot of people who have a problem with Batman committing murder, but since my favorite superhero film is Batman Returns, I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. At the very least, it gave us a chance to experience an Arkham City level on the big screen, narrated entirely by Ben Affleck’s grunts.

Daniel has a Twitter. Go to it. Enjoy yourself. Kick your boots off and stay for a while.

Live long enough to see yourself become the villain with your own Batman Utility Belt!

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C-Sections vs. Natural Birth in Diabetic Moms

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C-Sections vs. Natural Birth in Diabetic Moms

Childbirth and diabetes were once considered mutually exclusive. Thankfully, those days are over. But aiming for a healthy baby — and an uncomplicated birth — when you're living with diabetes is still a very tall order. It can be scary. And no one really wants to have a C-section, right? (I sure didn't, x3). Today, D-author and fellow mother of three Amy Stockwell Mercer joins us once more for a special report on new research providing insight into the precise effects of the Big D during childbirth.

Special to the 'Mine by Amy Stockwell Mercer

The myth that women with diabetes can't have babies is almost extinct. Shelby's premature death in the movie Steel Magnolias has slowly been replaced by images of healthy, vibrant women like former Miss America Nicole Johnson and fellow D-blogger Kerri Morrone Sparling as they navigate diabetes, pregnancy and motherhood. We've come a long way in understanding the importance of prenatal care for women with diabetes and as a result, more women are having healthy babies than ever before. However, 45%-70% of these pregnancies result in cesarean births and until now, no one could explain why.

Researchers at the University of Liverpool have recently discovered that women with diabetes have "impaired uterine contractility." That means that even if we push for hours, some of us may never succeed. This groundbreaking research is based on 2010 United Kingdom government statistics, which show a high induction of labor rate (39%) and a high C-section rate (67%) in women with type 1 and type 2 diabetes (compared to 21% of the general maternal population).

"We need to think about the enormously high C-section rate rather than just accepting it," says co-author Dr. Susan Wray. "As scientists we asked the question, could it be that these women's uterus' cannot contract as well as other women's?"

Even though I'm personally finished having babies, the idea that my uterus might not contract as well as other women came as both a shock and a relief. For years I felt like a failure because of my three C-sections, as if I hadn't tried hard enough or labored long enough to get the baby out on my own. Instead of a natural birth like my mom had, I was induced, stuck with IV's, and rushed into the operating room for an emergency cesarean after 2 ½ hours of pushing. Two more C-sections followed, leaving me with three healthy boys and a permanent scar.

Seeking more information, I contacted Dr. Jennifer Ahn, one of the experts quoted in my book, The Smart Woman's Guide to Diabetes, to ask her opinion on diabetes and delivery. Director of the Diabetes in Pregnancy Program, and a type 1 diabetic Dr. Ahn explained that, "We tend to induce women with diabetes (pregestational or gestational) on medications (whether insulin or oral meds) around 39 weeks gestation. The reason for this is that women with diabetes are at a greater risk for stillbirth, and 39 weeks has been shown to be the time when the fetus is fully developed."

The downside of induced labor is that it may double the odds of a C-section birth, and for women with diabetes (I know this all too well), once you've had a C-section, your chances of delivering naturally are slim. "Vaginal deliveries are the best mode of delivery for any mom," adds Dr. Ahn. "There's a better recovery. A C-section is a major surgery with increased blood loss and risk of surgical complications. Plus, moms end up having multiple C-sections, and can have a lot of problems in subsequent pregnancies."

But sometimes there's no other option than surgery. Reasons for a cesarean vary from the development of pre-eclampasia (high blood pressure and excess protein in the urine after 20 weeks of pregnancy), to a previous C-section, failed induction, obstructed labor, excessive fetal growth and malpresentation.

Cheryl Alkon, author of Balancing Pregnancy with Pre-Existing Diabetes, actually chose a C-section because of her retinopathy. "I was given the choice to do an elective C-section at week 37 for my son's birth, or else a vaginal delivery with forceps and vacuum so I wouldn't put any pressure on my eyes. I didn't hesitate to pick the C-section, and honestly, it was really a great experience."

Melissa Partridge, mother of 4, also had C-sections. I met Melissa at last year's DiabetesSisters conference, and emailed to ask about her experiences. "My doctor said he would induce me at 38 weeks with my first pregnancy. At the time my placenta looked great in the ultrasound and the baby didn't look too big, but I wasn't dilated or effaced at all, and the doctor wanted the baby out. After about 9 hours on pitocin (a synthetic hormone used to induce labor), he decided to break my water, hoping it would get things moving. Nothing happened. Four hours later, I was sent in for a C-section. My honest feeling is that my baby wanted to stay in and my body wasn't ready, but since it was nearing the middle of the night, and the doctor had already broken my water, he opted for a C-section." Melissa adds, "I often wonder if I had been more in control of my birthing experience if I would have been able to have a natural delivery."

But how do we get more control of our birthing experiences? Would Melissa's experience be different if she'd known about her uterus? The new Liverpool study is the first to show that contractions in women with diabetes are smaller and shorter lasting.

Dr. Wray says, "There is a reduction in muscle mass that could come from poor blood glucose control, but even with good control there is muscle mass reduction." They also discovered that the mechanism for getting calcium into the uterine muscle cells, needed to promote contractions, is decreased in women with diabetes. There's no way of knowing the strength of a woman's uterus before she goes into labor, and we can't improve our uteruses' with push-ups or yoga. "I don't want women to think 'why bother,'" Dr. Wray says, "There are women with diabetes who are able to contract well, and women without diabetes who are unable to contract well, so the answer is that one size does not fit all."

Elizabeth Edelman, co-founder of Diabetes Daily, is a good example of someone who was able to contract well. She told me she tried to do everything possible to prepare for a natural delivery. "I worked with a wonderful doula who had worked with another woman with type 1 diabetes, so I felt confident. My team of OB's was very supportive. They did say that if I went over 40 weeks they wanted to induce, but luckily for me they didn't have to. I went into labor at 39 weeks spontaneously. I worked very hard, counting every carb I ate, wearing a CGM, and practicing yoga to make sure that I could deliver naturally. I also took Bradley classes that helped me prepare."

Preparation is like second nature to those of us with diabetes, and giving birth should be no different. We need to be our own advocates and that means seeking the latest information, being engaged in decision-making, and communicating with our OB/GYN's. Dr. Wray says women should be individually monitored during pregnancy and delivery, and talk with doctors about the possible need for "a longer duration or higher dose of oxytocin (natural hormone to induce labor) during labor to counteract the inherent poor uterine contractility."

I also reached out to Dr. Lois Jovanovic CEO & Chief Scientific Officer of Sansum Diabetes Research Institute and a pioneer in her work with diabetes and pregnancy, to get an expert point of view. She's the one who called this new study groundbreaking.

"The results clearly show that independent of type of diabetes, glucose control or complications, the women with diabetes had poorer myometrial contractions than the women with normal glucose tolerance. The authors' conclusion that each pregnant diabetic women should thus be treated uniquely during labor and delivery proves that women with diabetes truly are special!" — diabetes & pregnancy expert Dr. Lois Jovanovic

Dr. Jovanovic is right, we are special and we've come a long way toward understanding the needs of a diabetic pregnancy from start to finish. The more we learn about our bodies, the better we can work with what we've got, and feel empowered about our birthing experience.

Disclaimer: Content created by the Diabetes Mine team. For more details click here.

Disclaimer

This content is created for Diabetes Mine, a consumer health blog focused on the diabetes community. The content is not medically reviewed and doesn't adhere to Healthline's editorial guidelines. For more information about Healthline's partnership with Diabetes Mine, please click here.

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5 Superhero Movies That Are Only Worth It For One Scene

Bad superhero films are a treasure. Not only does one make you disappointed with Hollywood for creating a bad movie, but it also makes you doubly frustrated because they’re messing up something that you know is good in comic book form. However, we shouldn’t write off a bad superhero movie immediately. Upon closer examination, these terrible films can contain little glimpses of promise — little glimpses that make you say “This might be a secret masterpiece.” Or at least, “This doesn’t suck every poop.”

5

Batman & Robin — The Criminal Property Locker

In the annals of bad superhero films, Batman & Robin stands alone. It isn’t a “Well, maybe it’s not THAT bad” film like Superman Returns or Spider-Man 3. It isn’t a “I’ll forget the plot of this before I even leave the theater” film like X-Men: The Last Stand or Daredevil. It isn’t a “That’s a damn shame” film like Superman IV: The Quest For Peace or Robocop 2. And it isn’t a “If there is a God, they wouldn’t let this happen” film like Catwoman or Spawn. Instead, it’s a film that somehow gets both more amazingly terrible and more inexplicably enjoyable with time. I hate it and I love it in equal measure, and years after I’m dead, researchers will discover my skeleton clinging to a VHS copy of it, like Quasimodo and Esmeralda at the end of Hunchback Of Notre Dame.

But the movie does have one extremely cool split second. Now, there is a well-known Easter egg in Batman & Robin: When Bane and Poison Ivy are breaking Mr. Freeze out of Arkham Asylum, you get a glimpse of the “Criminal Property Locker.” And in the locker are the costumes of the Riddler and Two-Face from Batman Forever. That’s kind of neat — though since Two-Face died by falling into a spiky underwater pit, it does imply that some poor Arkham intern had to dry-clean and sew his fucking suit back together.

Warner Bros.

Read Next

5 Things You Can't Help But Wonder When Watching Movies

But the rest of the stuff in the room implies that when the Tim Burton/Joel Schumacher Batman wasn’t eviscerating clowns or neon terrorists, he was still pretty busy. Beside the Riddler’s suit is a doll, so at some point, was Val Kilmer punching the shit out of B-list villain Toyman? Or is that the work of the Dollmaker, a guy who made dolls out of his victims’ skin? Is that dude still in Arkham? It’s unlikely, considering that Michael Keaton’s Batman was one part hero and nine parts sadist, and probably attached a bomb to Dollmaker and peed on him a little bit before even learning his name. But still, the scene adds history to a series that seemed to be mostly about Batman sitting around in his office, waiting for crime to happen.

And then, on the right side, we see a pair of boxing gloves. So good luck, guy who was using those. I’m sure your career as Two-Punch Man was really hitting its peak just before Michael Keaton ripped your intestines out through your eye holes.

But the most interesting part is the big mechanical suit that we see, and on first glance, you’d probably assume that it’s Mr. Freeze’s suit, since that’s what Poison Ivy broke into the locker to get. But Mr. Freeze’s suit looks nothing like that. So either Mr. Freeze has been fighting Batman and Robin for so long that he’s had to upgrade his technology in order to keep his chilly ass un-kicked, or it belongs to another mech-suited villain. The pyromaniac Firefly, maybe? That would be so awesome, and now I’m so pissed that I never got to see Val Kilmer stare expressionless around a bug man with a flamethrower. What were you even good for if you couldn’t give us that, the ’90s?

4

Judge Dredd — The Angel Gang

Judge Dredd came out in 1995, when we were still trying to figure out whether superhero movies were going to be a thing. Sure, Superman and Batman had been pretty successful, but was there hope for anyone else? The answer to that was “Not yet,” as proven by the lackluster Judge Dredd, which featured Sylvester Stallone. I know that we’re all currently pretty high on Stallone after Creed, but between Rocky IV and Rocky Balboa, he was having a rough time being in any movie that someone could honestly call good. At his best, he was in films like Demolition Man — or as my dad would call it, Daniel, we need to talk.

Judge Dredd has sweet set design, but other than that, it’s a lot of Stallone and Armand Assante shouting at side characters who are too useless to be given their own shouting dialogue. The only time it really perks up is when Stallone and his little buddy Rob Schneider get captured in the wastelands by the Angel Gang. The Angel Gang are cannibals, and their role in the movie almost feels like Judge Dredd DLC. But during the gang’s brief vacation in your eyeballs, Judge Dredd ceases to be a humdrum exploration into the beauty of shoulder pads, and starts feeling special.

There are plenty of movies wherein superheroes fight random gangs. There are just as many superhero movies where the hero is forced to fight a guy who could’ve been a hero, but instead went evil. But there are very few superhero films in which the hero has to tangle with the cast of The Hills Have Eyes. The Angel Gang is a bunch of wild cards. They don’t want to build a city-sinking torpedo or open up a portal to release an ancient evil whatever; they just want to snack on you a little bit. They won’t say any clever lines or reveal any master plans. At most, they’ll maybe give you a recipe for you, medium-rare.

Sadly, their stay is brief, because Stallone soon escapes and jams an electrical wire into the head of most monosyllabic among them. Of course, the mutant does get to say, “You killed my Pa,” so it’s not a total waste.

3

Blade: Trinity — The Human Farm

Throughout the Blade series, characters are constantly mentioning the fact that the vampire universe is bigger than you know. Sure, you think we live in a world of humans and puppy dogs and hit singles from Evanescence, but underneath it all, there’s a society of vampires. And when that society decides to rule the world, Blade will … take them out pretty easily, actually. For a race that’s apparently thiiiiis close to dominating the world, they sure seem to be divided into easily spin-kicked pockets.

Blade: Trinity is the worst Blade film. The best thing about Blade and Blade 2 is that they feel inventive and fresh. You’re getting things from them that you wouldn’t get from a Spider-Man or X-Men film — namely, Wesley Snipes cursing and reducing screeching henchmen to ashes. It’s why they’re two of my favorite superhero films. On the other hand, Blade: Trinity features boring-ass Dracula and his something or another quest to vaguely rule the world. After years of tackling rave mutants and goth Nosferatus, Blade’s final fight is with a bad Witcher cosplayer.

Luckily, we do get one scene that feels like it came out of the earlier films. Blade finds a human farm, where a bunch of comatose people are vacuum-sealed into big Ziploc bags and used as a constant source of vampire food. It’s super creepy, and when Blade gets told that they’re all brain-dead, he shuts the whole thing down with barely a second thought or a quietly growled “motherfucker.”

New Line Cinema

It also gives the movie (and the series) a sense of grand scale that it had been lacking. Oh, THIS is what the vampires were hyping up when they were jabbering on about their big vampire plans. Well, I apologize for not paying more attention, emo ghouls. My bad. My bad.

2

X-Men: Apocalypse — Wolverine’s Introduction

Before Logan, we only got tastes of Wolverine’s full potential as a fighter. One taste was in X2, when he has to defend Xavier’s School for Kool Kidz and Cyclops from William Stryker’s men. But the best pre-Logan scene of Wolverine grinding his way through bad guys in order to level up for the final boss was in X-Men: Apocalypse. Wolverine appears for only a few minutes in this movie, and he looks like an absolute monster.

Imagine you’re a security guard for some mutant research project. You don’t really worry about those mutants escaping, because why would you? They’re usually sedated and subdued, and if they did start waking up, there’s a whole room full of guys with heavy firearms who would blow them away. Then one day, you’re eatin’ a microwavable chicken pot pie and thinking about your novel when you hear “Weapon X is loose.” You know, the most dangerous experiment in a whole building full of dangerous experiments. Will the gun they’ve given you work against someone with adamantium claws and, if the rumors you heard are true, healing powers? Maybe.

That’s the feeling you get during the scene in which Wolverine escapes: pure, pee-your-pants, “Oh my god, I was not properly trained for this” terror. Sure, Logan has a lot of scenes where he cuts his way through dudes, but that movie frames it as action, while this turns Wolverine into a slasher villain. It doesn’t hurt that the scene ends with a splash of blood coming from offscreen, which is slasher movie code for “Daaaammmnnn.”

The rest of the movie is pretty subpar. The X-Men’s most powerful villain, Apocalypse, is handled so poorly that you just wish Magneto could be the main bad guy for the fourth time. But I guess it’s to be expected that the best part of an X-Men film would include Hugh Jackman. Oh, Hugh. Was it something I said? Please come back.

1

Batman v. Superman — The Warehouse Fight

Batman v. Superman didn’t give us a lot of what I would call “iconic” Batman moments. At one point, he does ask Superman, “Do you bleed?” and that’s pretty cool. But then Superman flies off because he has more important things to do than to lightly argue with some billionaire manchild, leaving Batman just standing there. So what does Batman do? He says, “You will,” and TOTALLY WINS THAT CONVERSATION. You sure got him, dude helplessly standing in the wreckage of his super car. I’m sure the shower argument that you had by yourself later was full of similar zingers. “DO YOU BLEED? WELL, I BET YOU DO. AND THEN I’D FUCKING PUNCH HIM LIKE THIS, AND SUPERMAN WOULD BE ALL LIKE, ‘NO, PLEASE, STOP, BATMAN. I BET YOUR PENIS DOESN’T EVEN SLIGHTLY CURVE TO THE LEFT.’ AND I’D BE ALL LIKE BAM. POW. SHUT UP.”

On a more positive note, Batman v. Superman does have one awesome scene: the warehouse fight. Now, before I get into why this part is so great, I do have to say that a lot of it has to do with the critically acclaimed Batman: Arkham games, which make every other Batman fight scene in every other medium look like a slap fight among friends. In the Arkham games, you can sneak up behind a dude, choke him out, zip up to a gargoyle, fly over and drop-kick a man’s torso off his body, zip back up to another gargoyle, tie a guy up to said gargoyle, throw a smoke pellet, hit a thug with an electric shock gun, choke out another dude, and then run up to the last dude as he fills you with bullets and hope that your body armor holds up for long enough so that Batman can someday wear the man’s skull as a shoe.

That’s the kind of thing that we got in the Batman v. Superman warehouse scene, during which Batman goes back and forth, rearranging an entire gang’s internal organs using everything in his disposal. Here are a few highlights:

– A guy comes into the room brandishing a grenade, so Batman kicks a guy he already has hanging from the ceiling into the grenade man.

– Batman Rock Bottoms a dude into the floor — a technique most assuredly taught to him by Ra’s al Ghul when Batman trained with all of those ninjas. “You must learn to conquer your fear, Bruce,” I remember Ra’s saying in Batman Begins. “CONQUER IT WITH THE PEOPLE’S ELBOW.”

– Batman uses his grappling hook gun thing to sling a box into a guy, and the guy gets hit so hard that he flies into a wall and the back of his goddamn head apparently comes off.

There are a lot of people who have a problem with Batman committing murder, but since my favorite superhero film is Batman Returns, I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. At the very least, it gave us a chance to experience an Arkham City level on the big screen, narrated entirely by Ben Affleck’s grunts.

Daniel has a Twitter. Go to it. Enjoy yourself. Kick your boots off and stay for a while.

Live long enough to see yourself become the villain with your own Batman Utility Belt!

If you loved this article and want more content like this, support our site with a visit to our Contribution Page. Or sign up for our Subscription Service for exclusive content, an ad-free experience, and more.

For more, check out The 5 Most Awesomely Bad Comic Book Movies and 8 (Pointless) Laws All Comic Book Movies Follow.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel, and check out 4 Things Superhero Movies Don’t Have the Balls to Do, and watch other videos you won’t see on the site!

Also follow us on Facebook. You won’t regret it.

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INTERVIEW: Tynion Prepares Batman for War in Detective Comics

SPOILER WARNING: This article contains major spoilers for “Detective Comics” #951, on sale Wednesday.

“Detective Comics” writer James Tynion IV says Batman is “an overcompensation,” a possible outcome of what happens when the worst thing in the world happens to someone. As he explains, you can either collapse in the face of it or, if you’re Bruce Wayne, you can build yourself into the perfect being in order to prevent that “worst thing” from ever happening again.

Now that Batman has found his skewed version of a happy place, he’s assembling an army of likeminded crimefighters for a coming war — a war against a soldier who wears a button with a smiling face on it and, of course, some smeared blood. Over the course of our conversation, the writer discussed his excitement for the upcoming “Batman”/”The Flash” crossover, “The Button,” promising that the events of the DC Universe/Watchmen event will “absolutely” resonate in “Detective Comics” and beyond.

Tynion shared many details of the core figures in his DC Comics’ series, namely Clayface, Batwoman, Orphan and Spoiler, as well as teased upcoming plot details for both “Detective Comics,” currently illustrated by Christian Duce Fernandez, and “Batwoman,” the new series he’s co-writing with Marguerite Bennett, which is drawn by Steve Epting.

CBR: There is a line in “Detective Comics” #950 when Tim asks Bruce quite bluntly, “Why are you preparing for a war?” Is he talking about events coming in the “League of Shadows” arc, or something bigger — perhaps involving Mr. Oz and a certain button with a smiley face and blood splatter on it?

James Tynion IV: There are all of these very dark things on the horizon that Batman sees coming. I can’t really hint what those things are, but I will say that it’s not just what’s coming in the pages of “Detective Comics.” This is what’s coming across the entire DC Universe.

Orphan, Spoiler, Clayface even Batwoman are all broken or at least have relationship issues that are severely strained. When building an army for this coming war, why does Batman decide to surround himself with broken soldiers?

When I was choosing the members for his team, I thought Batman was very much about choosing people who he sees elements of himself in. Those are the people that he trusts. Gotham is a dark place, and a lot of bad things have happened to a lot of these Gotham characters. Each one of them represents a different aspect of Batman, and there is no character that represents that more than the original Robin. They each have a core piece of tragedy or pathos in them that they share. That’s why they were able to form such a powerful relationship.

With Batwoman, Spoiler, Orphan, and even Azrael and Batwing, all of these characters have the drive that comes from overcompensating from a point, which is what Batman is. At the end of the day, Batman is an overcompensation. He’s what happens when the worst thing in the world happens to you. You can either collapse in the face of that, or you can build yourself into the perfect being in order to prevent that from ever happening again. Each of these people is doing that in different ways and is currently on different steps in the path.

When you look at a character like Clayface, he had something horrible happen to him and that horrible thing made everyone see him as a monster and then he allowed himself to become a monster. And Batman recognized this. At this moment, Batman is at an even higher point of awareness and he needs to see that people can overcome these parts of themselves for reasons… for reasons that I can’t share just yet. [Laughs]

Let’s leave the Watchmen and those who will be watching the Watchmen behind for now. No spoilers here, because she’s featured on the cover of “Detective Comics” #951, but Shiva is back in Gotham and she appears to be connected to Cassandra Cain. This is DC Rebirth, so things might be different, but pre-Rebirth, Shiva was Cassandra’s mother. Is that still the case?

You’re right. You saw in “Detective Comics” #950 that Shiva still has some designs on Cassandra. In the current continuity, those two characters have not shown up together yet. You guys are going to have to go along for the ride, but you’re right — in classic DCU continuity, Shiva was Cassandra’s mother. This is the story that will answer the question of whether or not that is currently true, and what that means to Orphan if it is true.

What we know about the League of Shadows so far is that it was basically a myth that Ra’s al Ghul propagated. It was conceived as an idea that would let him take credit for terrorist attacks all over the world and all of these other things. He hinted that it was this shadowy cabal, which allowed him total control. It’s something Batman has gone out and searched for and, to his knowledge, he has no proof that the League actually exists. So when the Colony came in during my first arc, “Rise of the Batmen,” to eliminate these sleepers, Batman saw it as Jacob Kane basically buying into a conspiracy in order to enact his dark agenda. And we’re going to discover exactly who’s been right and who’s been wrong and how all of these characters connect to one another. But the League of Shadows is an independent group of the League of Assassins, and we’re going to slowly understand more and more exactly how dangerous they are, and how they’ve they operating from the outside in the DC Universe.

If we go by the solicitations, it appears that Batman and Ra’s may be joining forces in this arc. Is this a case of the enemy of my enemy is my friend?

[Laughs] We’ll definitely see them interacting. I don’t want to tip my hand just yet. The relationship between Ra’s and Batman is one of the most interesting relationships between any nemesis and hero in all of comics. Ra’s is a character that I have been fascinated by since I first started writing so bringing him into this story and exploring the ways in which he is connected to the League of Shadows and the ways in which he isn’t is a lot if fun. I can’t go into specifics just yet but he will definitely play a very major part as the story reaches its climax.

Again, you mentioned Jacob Kane and he is, of course, the father of Kate Kane. Now that you are writing a new “Batwoman” series with Marguerite Bennett, will Kate be leaving “Detective Comics”?

No, she will absolutely be a part of both series. Kate’s day job is working with the Batman Family in “Detective Comics,” and her own private missions that take her all over the world in between her missions in “Detective” are what will be covered in the “Batwoman” series. “Detective” will remain a fairly Gotham-centric book, while “Batwoman” will be very global in its scope.

I think Kate Kane is one of the most fascinating characters in the DC Universe. I love how she plays on the core Batman mythos, but she also has some very big differences right in the heart of the character. Batman’s parents were killed when he was just a kid and then he set out to become the perfect thing to fight that specific crime. He set out across the world to train and build himself to this point where he is the Batman – this real force of nature.

A similar thing happened to Kate. Her mother was killed and she believed at the time that her sister was killed, as well, and she started building herself to become the perfect soldier to fight the kind of terror that killed her parent. But the thing that’s different in her character is that there came a point where she was about to achieve what she wanted to achieve. She was about to graduate from West Point and actually become a real soldier and she would have been one of the best soldiers of all-time – she was on the path to being DC’s Captain America – but that path was ripped away from her and then she was lost. She then stumbled through the world for a few years. And that is the thing that Kate has that Bruce doesn’t. She knew what she needed to become, there was a single drive to her path, but then that was no longer an option. She had nothing to become anymore. And it’s that lost period, before she came back to Gotham and saw Batman for the first time and realized the costume could be the way that she served, which is wholly unique to her. She has the same drive as Bruce, the same ferocity as Bruce. But she can see failure in a way that Bruce can’t. And that can give her incredible strength in a wholly different way. And that’s something that Marguerite and I are very interested in exploring. And we really needed a singular series to explore it to its full extent because at the end of the day, her role in “Detective” will always be about her relationships with Batman and the other characters, including her father, around her. “Batwoman,” the ongoing series, is about her relationship with herself. And the fact that she knows that the path can get ripped away from her so that’s why in “Batwoman Rebirth,” we see a glimpse of what would happen if that path was ripped away from her again, what could she become and would it become something good or would it become something really frightening. There is so much material [Laughs] There could be five years of “Batwoman” stories just based on the my first conversation with Marguerite so I am very excited for everyone to see what we’ve got cooking.

Can Batman/Bruce and Spoiler/Stephanie repair their relationship or are we past the point of no return?

I very pleased with the final speech that Bruce gave at the end of “Detective Comics” #947. That when he said that he’s not willing to go out there and cut her down. He disagrees with the points that Spoiler is making but he sees why she’s doing it. She hasn’t just made the switch and become an unrepentant villain. She just doesn’t agree with how Batman operates in Gotham City. And that launches her into the next part of her story that we’ll be picking up on right after the “League of Shadows” arc. Spoiler will definitely continue to be a part of this book, especially as we move forward with the dangling thread of where is Tim Drake and what’s up with him.

That’s a nice place to end, because I wanted to ask you about Tim Drake. I know you can’t talk about the war that’s coming, but all points are leading to the fact that Tim is going to be a part of it, as is the mysterious character that is holding Tim captive. Will those events and the upcoming “Batman/The Flash” crossover “The Button” tie-into “Detective Comics”?

I will definitely say that fans of “Detective Comics” should absolutely read “The Button” when it comes out. Fans of DC Comics, really everyone, should pick up “The Button.” This is the first of a few launching points that will send us into the next year of stories. I’m very excited for everyone to see what we’ve got cooking but at this point, I can’t even hint at the shapes coming in the dark but there are shapes in the dark and they are coming. [Laughs] There are going to be a lot of really big, really cool stories coming up that I’m very excited to take part in.

“Detective Comics” #951 goes on sale February 22.

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