#because ppl are like 'i want to study you. i want to know you intimately. i want to know how your mind works'

[officialtokyosan]

it's really sexy when characters have a really clinical relationship. and something inside grows

[btnclmrttn]

OPM NSFW HEADCANONS (PT.1)

Guys I swear I am not trying to drag ass my remaining requests are just long and I want best effort take this in mean time I love u

Ppl think it's just not something he thinks about that often, but he's a very low key pervert

He can be perceived as dominant, but he just slightly leans to it. He's blunt and assertive about these things. It's nice to not be the one always in control but he absolutely can take control if he felt like it. Just depends on how he's doing in life

Always checking you out and hardly anyone could notice. It's because he takes just one good look and starts spacing out with some thoughts of his

The more excited he is the more creative he is. Sometimes it's just some classic position but he's put you against a wall a couple times, holding you up with your knees to your chest

Even if he's being slow and gentle, you can tell when he's starting to lose it cause it gets just a little rougher and progresses from there. Take it if you can or just let him know

Decently vocal and very whiny when you're in control

Likes watching you put on a little show. Don't let him do anything to himself as he watches you and it gets him going

With his strength, you aren't going to have much room to squirm. If ykwim

Has great stamina, but he's just fine with one, maybe two rounds. If he really wants more but you really can't he'll just give you kisses all over your body and praise you. It don't bother him at all that you likely won't ever have equivalent stamina

By some chance you do? And strength? News reports in several cities for "earthquakes"

Always takes a bath with you after to get you cleaned and cuddles with you

I REFUSE to argue. Switch

Honestly more perverted than you would think and is pretty shameless about it

Like he isn't gonna lie, he's upfront. Sometimes during situations probably best to not to say anything but oh well

He's always on his hero business so it's often he isn't around, so sexting came to be a thing with you two. Send him some pictures while he's out you'll be in for it when he gets back

Always at ur place so he doesn't disturb his teacher's peace

Anything squishy on you is an absolute. Tummy, thighs, chest, he wants it. He'll stare if he sees it. Rly likes body worshipping you. Guide his hands where you want he'll be steaming

As much as he's studied you, he knows by now what you want and has some things to try he thinks you'll like based on his studies. Like your horny algorithm

Excellent at keeping consistent motions. Great with his hands, although he'd likely have to put on a glove designed for finger activities to avoid injuring you

Tries his best with dirty talk but that's if he can even talk. It's easy to fuck him stupid. Isn't very vocal, his machinery sort of gets in the way of that.

He does not cum, and you can only overstimulate him so much before his body forcefully shuts down to avoid overheating his shit. Basically you could knock his ass out if you played your cards right

Aftercare KING over here. He got you best blankets, best snacks, he's a personal heater, best praise. Can't go wrong with it

Menace to this society if given the opportunity to be horny

He likes to tease. Downright a shithead with how much he uses it, but it's so very worth it

It's sort of to cover up his inexperience. Quick learner and is down to try anything. Consistently spicing up the bedroom. Loves using toys and vibrators

Gets a bit nuts if you're in a bit of a helpless position, like bound up or pinned under him. You can just tell he's resisting just ruining you

He's fucking YOU stupid, whether it's intentional or not. Could make you see every god with each backshot.

If its more passionate and intimate he's more submissive and doesn't like it being pointed out. It will transition into straight fucking quickly if you do

Actually really big about petting and foreplay. He likes you on his thigh, or pinned with it, kissing you slowly and sloppily all over your neck and your lips.

I think it's obvious he's into biting. He bites to make his whining less noticable. He can get VERY loud and it embarrasses him how much you can make him loose it

He wants EVERYONE to know how good you get it, and leaves hickeys and bites in the most noticable spots

Dude loves some good ol' twist twist sloppy toppy, and gives it back just as good. He can hold his breath for a long ass time, and you taste like the best thing he's ever had

Let's be fr, aftercare took him a minute to get the hang of. He wasn't horrible but again, inexperience. Very clingy cuddler in all.

[laxmiree]

[CN] MLQC’s Lucien Reunion Date English Translation

��️ SPOILER ALERT!! ⚠️

This post contains a detailed spoiler for a date that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~

Lucien’s 2023 CN Birthday Event (The New World)✧ Birthday Story | Birthday Prologue | Birthday Date (You're here!) | ASMR | Birthday Party

It turns out that on a day like this, I'm allowed to have both loneliness and warmth at the same time.

Translation under the cut~

Special thanks to @/ivioivioivi for helping me translate some sentences. I am really thankful that you replied to my messages even in odd hours :"D.

[T/N: I don't want to break the flow, so I'll say it now. You need to at least read Lucien's 3rd birthday date and phone call (Looking Back Date+ Saplings of Love Phone Call) first to understand half of the date. It's even better if you've read all of his birthday dates and birthday R&S/stories. YEARS worth of build-up pays off wonderfully and painfully on this date :". Some non-birthday dates that get referenced/I think are important to understand his growth are:

Standstill date (I forgot the official EN localization of this date, so here is the fan translation ver of it. The 'old game' in this Reunion Date is a reference to this date).

Wild Luxury Date (not a direct reference, but MC's idea to book a B&B for his birthday can be traced back to them going to a wild luxury hotel LOL. Because of the 'memorable things' that happened here, they've been exploring many kinds of hotels ever since then.

Tidying-up date (The date dives deep into how Lucien dealt with his pain and grief- that is, by trying to abandon them because he didn't know any better, there's no time to slow down and properly deal with it :". But because of the 'complex feeling' (that he FINALLY got to understand in Reunion Date) he's unable to do so.

Also, a casual reminder that his birthday is also his parents' death anniversary since they got into a car accident during his 7th birthday- it'll come into play on this date ;).

ANYWAY, this date is such a TREAT for ppl who have been liking him for years and watching him grow slowly.

[Subtitled Video Ver - TURN ON CC]

VERY recommended to follow along with the voice acting for a more complete experience! It's just that he never sounded this vulnerable before :"". And BGM choice is really superb hhhh. I don't expect them to use that angsty BGM from last anniv.

[Transcript Ver]

I'm looking at the phone screen with one minute left on the countdown and placing the candle into the cupcake I secretly baked in the evening.

MC: 51, 52, 53......

I silently count the time, and at the last second, I push Lucien's study door open and turn off the lights.

MC: Happy birthday to you~

MC: Happy birthday to Professor Lucien, the smartest professor in the world~

The dim candlelight gently illuminates Lucien, who is sitting at the desk. He seems stunned for a moment, but soon, a joyful smile fills his eyes.

Lucien: So, the idea of celebrating my birthday at a B&B was just part of your surprise.

MC: I can't have you guessing everything. I still need to prepare some unexpected surprises for the birthday boy.

It's rare that Lucien doesn't have to go on a business trip this year, and there are no additional work assignments at the institute.

So, I booked a B&B in advance, taking two days off together. We'll celebrate his birthday while enjoying a brief vacation.

I smile and place the cupcake on the table, brushing away the strands of hair that hang in front of his eyes.

MC: And since we're both on vacation, every second from now on is worth celebrating.

MC: So, it's now a special midnight blessing time~

Lucien: [chuckles] And what blessing are you going to give me?

He wraps his arm around my waist, allowing me to sit on his lap.

His deep pupils dive into the depths of my eyes along our pressed foreheads, and even our breaths become intimate.

MC: Hmm... Midnight blessings mark the beginning of your birthday, so I'll start by wishing you... to be yourself on this day.

His pupils briefly contract, and it seems like even his breath has slowed down a bit.

MC: Usually, we often do things we don't particularly like for various reasons.

MC: Whether it's playing a role or fulfilling responsibilities, life is often filled with many “have to's”.

MC: But the privilege of a birthday means that today, you are the most important person in the world.

MC: So, on this day, do everything you want to do and be as comfortable as you can be.

MC: That's my midnight blessing.

The candlelight light is long, silently enveloping both of us and turning this small space into the whole world.

Lucien: (whispers hoarsely) Then I'll accept it.

His warm breath touches my lips, lingering into the first long trailing note of a wish.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

After he blows out the candle and finishes the cake, I follow his wish and nestle into Lucien's embrace.

I occasionally use my gaze to trace his face. Although I don't know what he's busy with, I'm happy to spend every moment with him.

Spending it in silence is fine too.

Lucien: Several student papers that I was helping to mentor were sent over just in time. I'll finish them quickly.

MC: Take your time reading them~ This way, I'm also absorbing the essence of wisdom.

He arches his eyebrows, leans against my head, and then shifts his gaze back to the screen.

The mouse wheel sound bears witness to the continuously flipped text, and suddenly, I detect a brief moment of silence.

Lucien appears to have no reaction. His gaze is lingering and seems to have also frozen in this moment.

Did he encounter any problems?

I tilt my head and find the cursor paused beside a cited reference, flickering silently.

An obscure and minuscule string of English appears in the lower corner, with only "1996.98~99" discernible.

Lucien: MC.

MC: Lucien?

Our simultaneous saying left me momentarily stunned, and he seemed to be surprised as well. The hold around my waist tightened imperceptibly.

MC: What's wrong?

Lucien: (tenderly) Nothing, I just wanted to call your name.

Lucien: In order to give you my undivided time for the next two days, I just need a little more time.

Lucien: (softly) You go ahead and sleep.

MC: (smiles) Don't stay up too late then.

With a familiar warmth beside me, I don't say much. I simply raise my head and lightly peck his lips, only to realize that he hasn't let go of my hand.

Lucien: Just stay by my side, I'll take care of getting you back into bed with me.

—-------------------------------------------------------

When the alarm clock goes off, I sleepily roll over and discover that the other side of the bed is empty.

The hour hand has just pointed to six o'clock, and I shake off my drowsiness, getting up to search for Lucien's figure.

MC: Did he leave this early? There isn't anything urgent at the research institute, is there…

I'm contemplating whether to send him a message when the door is pushed open.

Lucien is uncharacteristically dressed formally, and I wonder how long he's been outside as he's covered in the chilly air of early autumn.

He probably doesn't expect me to wake up so early, but he just stands there indifferently.

It's as if he's stripped away all emotions and turned into a blank slate in human form.

Somehow, I don't ask him where he went. Instead, I walk over and instinctively take hold of his somewhat stiff and cold hand, placing it against my own face.

MC: Why didn't you wear a scarf? Come here quickly-

Before I can finish speaking, he envelops me in his embrace.

It's an incredibly tight embrace.

Lucien doesn't say anything, yet it's as if he's telling me something.

I simply tighten my hug, letting this silence continue.

The chill fades away as if bidding farewell, and the person in my embrace slowly opens his mouth.

Lucien: (quietly) MC, I went to do something very important.

Lucien: It feels like I'm years late, but fortunately, nothing has changed.

I can't see Lucien's face at this moment, but I can only feel his voice, soft as if not wanting to disturb a certain tranquility.

Lucien: But because of this, I seem to have some new questions.

Lucien: Can you help me with these things I haven't quite figured out yet?

He speaks vaguely, yet there's a genuine sincerity in his words.

A vague idea forms in my mind, something that I can't pin down, but I don't want to put off either.

I gently brushed his bangs with my fingers and looked at him calmly.

MC: Of course, I'm willing to help. How do you want me to help you?

This question seems to have stumped Lucien. He ponders for a while and then smiles helplessly.

Lucien: I don't know either.

MC: Well, it's wonderful. The world has left you with a special puzzle on your birthday~

Lucien that's somewhat at a loss makes me unable to suppress my laugh.

MC: It's okay. After all, growing up doesn't necessarily mean always moving forward. I'll help you find the answers.

—-------------------------------------------------------

I lead him into the living room, where the golden sunlight streams over the horizon, casting its glow upon us.

MC: But since student Lucien doesn't have a direction, I'll have to guide you in my own way, so you better cooperate with me.

Lucien: I'm more than willing, Teacher MC.

MC: Very well. First... let's start by filling our bellies!

—--------------------------------------------------------

After eating, as Lucien places the suitcase in the trunk, I suddenly recall something and retrieve the car cooler from the storage room.

Lucien: It seems that Teacher MC is indeed well-prepared.

MC: Hehe, I must protect my main course well~

And this way, you can go wherever you want.

I don't want to impose any pressure on him, so I simply think to myself and smoothly take the driver's seat.

MC: Today, let me be the escort for the birthday star.

Lucien: What if I also wish for MC to enjoy herself?

MC: You can't use the blessings I gave you against me!

I laugh and pinch his nose. Before starting the car, I come up with a great idea.

MC: Let's play an old game.

Lucien: Aren't we supposed to go to the B&B you booked?

MC: We have plenty of time, so we can have some fun before heading to our destination.

MC: No need to rush, taking it slow is also good. It's also the birthday star's privilege.

Lucien: [chuckle] I can't help but want to be this willful birthday star every day now.

MC: In that case, I'm fully on board!

I grip the steering wheel with both hands, waiting for his response.

MC: So, what's the number in your mind?

Lucien: How about... 389?

MC: Got it!

I enter the number into the map app and, without any reservations, start the car towards the unfamiliar location 18 kilometers away.

I don't drive too fast along the way. Rather than rushing to the destination, it's more about enjoying the scenery along the route. I ask him for the next random number when we encounter red lights.

MC: When did they start repairing the bridge here?

Lucien: It seems they started construction last year, and judging by the progress, it should be completed within the next six months.

Lucien: I hadn't noticed that park over there before.

MC: I remember that this place used to be a lake?

Lucien: Mm, they probably redesigned the walkway, and it seems like cars aren't allowed in anymore.

With Lucien's various choices, we leisurely travel the road, watching this extremely familiar city give birth to new branches in unfamiliar corners.

Time has always been silent, seeping into every crevice, every building, every plant, and every person's face.

The city also seems to be growing up with us, shedding a certain part of itself and transforming into something more fresh and new.

And as Lucien and I walk through these changes together, it's hard to say whether I feel more nostalgia or anticipation.

Until the red light appears, I have no idea where I've driven us to.

In the unfamiliar scenery, warm light falls upon Lucien's face.

MC: Now, do you have any places you'd like to go or things you'd like to do?

This time, I didn't ask him for a random number but instead posed a question during this brief moment of silence.

Perhaps it's only after walking many paths that you'll discover the one you want to take.

The red light flickers and the countdown numbers slowly extend into his field of vision.

Lucien: I want to... look at the flowers.

—-------------------------------------------------------

Under Lucien's guidance, we continued to drive for a while.

The unknown world gradually added familiar sights, and the road ahead also widened.

The road of the old street is wider than it was three years ago, as if it had been freshly paved with asphalt, shining brightly in the sunlight.

Heading uphill all the way, not far ahead, I can vaguely see a massive white building.

Unlike the last time, Lucien confidently directs the way this time—until we park in the parking lot next to the white building.

In the distance, the hills and fields are vibrant, and osmanthus flowers dance silently in the wind like tiny specks of light.

They complement this massive white building, radiating splendid beauty, which makes my eyes well up with emotion.

It turns out that something new has already bloomed on that empty lot.

MC: So, this hospital has already been built…

Lucien: Um, it will officially open to the public in a few months.

Lucien shows no intention of getting out of the car and calmly gazes ahead.

I also follow his gaze. The hospital is surrounded by hills and forests, and we listen to the distant chirping of insects, telling the secrets of the wilderness.

The wind rustles through the leaves, and the lush greenery and deep red hues cast beautiful light and shadow under the sunlight.

MC: Were these trees here before?

Lucien: I believe they were also transplanted here in the past two years.

I lean against the steering wheel, looking at the scenery in front of me that is entirely different from what I remember, and I can't help but not know how to describe my feelings.

MC: Can a hospital be built so quickly?

Lucien: Of course, it's even faster since this hospital is a crucial project for expanding clinical teaching bases in Loveland City.

He said it naturally, causing my gaze to unconsciously shift back at him.

Perhaps my gaze is too probing, so Lucien casually slumps down on the right side of the dashboard.

Lucien: Actually, I've been here a few times before due to work reasons.

Lucien: While their primary research focus is orthopedics, they also want to incorporate related studies in neuroscience to treat more complex and critical diseases.

Lucien: That's why the hospital director approached me for a collaboration.

MC: You surely agreed, right?

Lucien: Do I appear so easy to persuade?

MC: You're far from being easy to persuade.

I reach out and gently caress his cheek that's nestled between his arms.

MC: (smiles softly) It's clear to me that you've always known what you want to do.

In the sunlight, Lucien seems to smile more comfortably. He nuzzles my palm, bringing himself closer to me.

Lucien: Although they are still lacking in clinical expertise in neuroscience, Lucien's Bioscience Research Center has already signed an agreement with this hospital.

Lucien: I will provide them with the necessary research theoretical support.

Lucien: However, to bridge some gaps, I recommended one of my former classmates from my doctoral program to them. Whether they can persuade him to join depends on the efforts of the hospital director.

Lucien appears nonchalant, but I can hear so much sentiment in his words.

It's Lucien's own research institute that concluded the collaboration, and even though he's aware of the shortcomings on the other side, he still chose to cooperate.

He probably unconsciously hopes that the things that are growing anew on that land will turn into something even more beautiful.

Perhaps because I've been staring at him, Lucien seems to have also understood the unspoken words I haven't uttered.

Lucien: The reason I agreed may be because, at some moment, I felt like I had touched upon a coincidence called fate.

MC: Should scientists believe in these things?

Lucien: [chuckle] It's needed once in a while.

We can't help but laugh together.

MC: How about we get down and go for a walk?

MC: Perhaps fate has other words to speak within this coincidence.

While that's what I'm saying, I actually don't know what else fate might have to say.

We don't enter the hospital; instead, we aimlessly stroll around.

That empty lot is no longer just a distant memory, nor does it remain stagnant in its place.

We walk up the hill and see a slightly small but uniquely looking shop by the side of the side road.

It quietly nestled amidst the woods directly facing the hospital, the rich aroma of coffee blending gently with the scent of fresh grass.

MC: This shop is also new, right?

Lucien: Indeed, I didn't expect a new coffee shop to open here.

Our gazes collide, and in each other's eyes, we see the same expectation.

MC: Let's go check it out then!

The simple and elegant decor made the whole café look clean and bright.

There's only one owner in the store, even though it's not yet opening time, she warmly welcomed us.

Owner: I didn't expect to have customers at this time.

Owner: The sunshine is lovely today. Why don't you two sit over here and enjoy the beautiful scenery?

She says as she leads us to a floor-to-ceiling window on the south side. Looking at the scene in front of me, I unconsciously hold my breath.

Emerald green, golden yellow, and crimson red – time unfolds the colors it has painted to depict life in front of this window.

It's as if the four seasons silently cycle, but at this moment, it kindly extends all of its vistas, leaving the shadow of time here.

Owner: Not far away, they've built a new hospital, and it seems the director is very environmentally conscious as they've planted many trees in the vicinity.

Owner: Looking out of this window, there are two very special trees, and I observe that only during this season of the year is there such a unique view.

MC: ...It's really beautiful, thank you for your recommendation!

After thanking the boss, we're sitting in front of that window.

Lucien gazes out of the window, slightly lost in thought. The colorful light and shadows fall delicately on him, as if embracing him, sinking him into the shade of the trees.

MC: I wonder if this place is directly facing the window where the little boy used to be.

He pauses for a moment and looks at me amidst the gorgeous display.

MC: At this moment, can we also see the four seasons in his eyes when he looks outside the window?

Lucien: (smiles while looking away) Probably so.

Lucien: After all, it's what has grown anew on this land.

His voice is heavy and resolute.

MC: That's wonderful.

Lucien: Hmm?

MC: They are so beautiful, it's truly wonderful.

Memories are now distant and unattainable, but they still remain here. And in such a birthplace, all the beauty that has grown is so delightful.

MC: Perhaps this painting-like scenery is also a gift from fate to you.

Beneath the play of light and shadow, the girl's face is filled with the colors of sunshine, and she smiles warmly.

Lucien always feels that the emotions that he couldn't figure out the answer to seem to open a small crack, allowing even more indescribable feelings to pour out.

When discussing the collaboration compensation, he proposed donating two trees in the name of the research institute as a partial substitute for the hiring fee.

At every moment when he came here alone, he could clearly feel the spreading branches and twigs.

Perhaps, the meaning of time lies in the fact that nothing stays in one place, and this is also a form of trace and continuity.

It's just that, some changes would be better if they happened slower.

He always selfishly thinks this way.

Lucien: Probably... it really is a gift, isn't it?

Lucien: However, there may be more to it than just fate.

The colorful world is distant yet clear, all frozen in the eyes.

Because of you, I can see the traces of time so clearly.

It turns out that everything has passed for so long, long enough that I'm almost forgetting the name of this feeling.

It turns out that on a day like this, I'm allowed to have both loneliness and warmth at the same time.

It turns out that what I felt was sadness.

—--------------------------------------------------------

=Flashback Start=

The cemetery in the early morning is dark and solemn, with only a few stars twinkling in the sky.

The streets at four o'clock were too deserted, so Lucien bought a particularly simple bouquet of flowers from a newly opened stall at the door.

He passed through the freshly painted iron gate and walked slowly along the gravel path.

The paper's reference seemed to pull him into the light and shadow of time that he couldn't speak or think of yet also couldn't forget.

There were always two busy figures, always smiling with their eyes forever gazing into the distance.

These long-ago scenes that feel more like yesterday are strangling his breath and cutting open his wound today.

The time devoured by enduring anxieties of emptiness returns in its entirety today, as it does on all other 'todays'.

Some kind of longing dug into the wound, causing him to suddenly pause before tucking the girl in his arms into the quilt.

He pondered for a long time, and in the end, he decided to put on a suit.

That period of time was like this road, neither long nor short, but he spent many years on it.

Lucien stopped before the graves, gazing at the familiar names on it, and heaved a long sigh.

What should he say? He didn't know.

He simply gently placed the flowers down and reached out to touch the name on the tombstone.

The dust had settled in the gaps, and he cleaned it meticulously, even those stubborn stains were carefully wiped away.

He silently gazed at those two clean names, looking at them again and again.

Lucien: I seem to... miss both of you.

Today belongs to both of you, yet it also feels like it belongs to me.

When I abandon my name, I can treat it as a day that only belongs to me.

Now that I stand before you, does it mean that the distant past has slowly arrived at my side?

When I leave, the time left for you both will come to an end, and the time ahead should be reserved for her, or maybe for the me who's blessed by you.

Is that okay?

Lucien knew that no one would provide him with an answer. He simply sat there, no longer dwelling on anything.

He didn't know how long he had been sitting there, until the slowly approaching light from the distance began to illuminate him.

=Flashback End=

—--------------------------------------------------------

MC: You can open your eyes now!

Lucien opens his eyes under my guidance, and I happen to collect the last decoration.

Lucien: The issues troubling me seem to have somewhat disrupted your preparations.

MC: That's not entirely true.

Noticing that Lucien has picked up on some clues, I place the cake on the small couch and pull him down to sit.

MC: No matter how grand the birthday celebration is or how it is celebrated, the focus should be on the person who is celebrating it.

MC: You are the most important.

MC: Everything I've done is simply in the hope that they can appear more fittingly before you.

The warm light falls on the small arched couch, enclosing our figures leaning against the glass within it.

Outside, it started raining at some point, the raindrops hitting gently against the window. Much like the indescribable feelings, the world was shrouded in a misty haze.

Lucien: It feels like we're inside an egg here.

MC: Right? I think so too.

MC: So, let's just imagine we've briefly returned to the state before venturing into the human world and taking a rest here.

Lucien: Hmm, what's outside the window then?

MC: Outside the window is the place we'll go to.

MC: It might rain today, it might be clear tomorrow, or there might be a sandstorm.

MC: Every day, the weather will be different, there will be many sad things, and there will also be many happy moments.

Lucien: Can sadness and happiness... exist at the same time?

MC: Of course they can.

MC: Because they are both important to you.

I gently stroke his brow and gaze deeper into him through those eyes filled with emotions.

Lucien: (in the most fragile tone you ever hear-) ….Then, can you hug me?

I don't speak; instead, I answer him with my actions.

Perhaps I had also waited for a long time, waiting for him to come to me, letting me accompany him and giving me the right to comfort him.

Lucien: I went to meet some very important people today.

MC: Um.

Lucien: I miss them very much.

MC: Mm.

Lucien: But I feel happy again because of you.

I bite my lower lip hard and feel my eyes slightly welling up.

Lucien: I don't know how to handle these emotions, but I also feel a bit childish like this.

MC: I don't think so. I really like you just the way you are now.

MC: Being candid and clumsy, like a child without any worries. It's a kind of growth for you too.

Lucien: But today is obviously my birthday, isn't?

MC: It's precisely because today is your birthday that you can be like this.

I can't help but hug him even tighter.

MC: Sometimes, I feel as if we're growing up like layers of an onion, with each year wrapped around the last.

MC: Even though you're growing older, you still have all the previous ages you've been.

MC: You are also the 26-year-old Lucien, the 20-year-old Lucien, the 18-year-old Lucien, the 14-year-old Lucien – you are every version of yourself from different time periods.

MC: So, you can think rationally, but you can also be indifferent; you can be passionate, yet feel discouraged at times.

MC: When we grow up, we don't abandon ourselves. Every version of you from the past is still within your heart.

MC: You will see them, comfort them, and accept them.

Behind me, Lucien is silent, but the slightly tightened arms seem to quietly reveal something.

MC: What did the ten-year-old Lucien do today?

Lucien: Mm... I read a very special book.

MC: And what about the fourteen-year-old Lucien?

Lucien: I went to Venice, took photos at the Bridge of Sighs, and accidentally dropped my camera.

MC: Hmm, and what about when you were seventeen?

Lucien: Spent an entire night in my own independent laboratory.

MC: Wow, you! You didn't pull an all-nighter at twenty as well, did you?

Lucien: When I was twenty… I was given a graduation ceremony that I think is a bit special now.

MC: And what about you today?

He slowly lifts his head, his soft fingertips caressing my cheek.

Lucien: I went to meet important people

Lucien: And returned to your side.

MC: So you see, today may be your birthday, but it's also a special book day and a day for a bit of luck to escape.

MC: It can be an all-nighter day or a day for sleep. It's your graduation ceremony, and it's also the day of your important people.

MC: It doesn't just belong to happiness, it simply belongs to you.

MC: Happy birthday, Lucien. You don't have to be just happy.

The droplet on the glass window reflects the candlelight, resembling burning osmanthus petals as if time itself has paused by our side.

Lucien finally smiles, his eyes sparkling.

Lucien: I think, I know what wish to make now.

He wraps my hands together in his and looks at the candlelight.

It seems like he's saying a lot of wishes, and only after a while does he rest his forehead against mine.

MC: I hope all your wishes come true.

Lucien: Well, this Miss will have to work hard because it's not just from the present me.

Lucien: I just took the opportunity to make up for all those days I forgot to make wishes.

MC: Right now, I feel like I'm accompanying the past you.

MC: Would you call me silly for feeling this way?

Lucien: (whispers softly) Of course not.

His warm lips gently cover mine, devout and solemn.

Lucien: Furthermore, for the future me, the present is my past.

At the moment the candles were blown out, the sound of fireworks bursting in the distance could be heard. Colorful fireworks exploded outside the window, decorating the night sky.

It turns out that the rain had silently stopped at some point.

Lucien: It looks like there will be fireworks outside the window.

MC: It's welcoming you.

At this moment, there are less than 10 minutes left until the end of Lucien's birthday.

I grab his hand and run out of the B&B, running onto the street.

The street scene is incredibly lively, and for some reason, the celebratory fireworks keep lighting up the night sky, leaving colorful streaks in their wake.

Pedestrians pause for a moment, and I hold Lucien's hand. We walk through the crowd and I excitedly turn back to him.

MC: Lucien, it's wonderful that you came into this world.

MC: Thank you for coming into this world, thank you for coming to my side.

Another burst of fireworks soars into the sky, and the world is so beautiful, as if gathering all the colors of this moment into his eyes.

All the accumulated emotions are like the fireworks at this moment, making him vibrant and alive.

I see him take my hand and wrap his other arm around my waist.

Perhaps this isn't even a dance, we're just embracing each other and spinning around while laughing.

It seems like only the two of us exist in the world.

Lucien: MC.

I hear him calling my name.

Lucien: Thank you, for giving me this beautiful world as a present.

MC: Then I hope even more that whether I participate in your world or not, you will have the beauty of the whole world.

Lucien: Don't worry.

Lucien's eyes are filled with a smile, and the lamp's warm glow makes him look incredibly bright.

Lucien: All my time is as dazzling as you.

-

[Phone Call- coming soon]

-

[Lux's small rambling corner]

Dying rn after two sleepless nights, so I'll say a little for now and will add more after resting for some days orz. But really, I think what makes this date good can be felt with heart. Every single sentence is golden and worth to be screaming about hnghhh.

Where should I start??? Everything about this date feels perfect. I don't even know where to begin🥹 I genuinely think this one is his best birthday date. The pay of years' worth of build-up and the metaphors are perfect, and GOD, how this date consists of everything that makes them unique and lovable to me.

I didn't anticipate that the writers would skillfully weave together past birthday dates on this occasion. Honestly, I wouldn't mind if this marks the final instance centered around the theme of the past self. Embracing every version of your past self that makes up 'you' is truly a fitting conclusion.

It's INSANE how his writers are able to build up the whole thing over the span of 6 YEARS like??? The way his change and growth happen little by little as we accompany him in those years, watching him now just being himself, frankly expressing his emotions and longing, and taking the initiative to be vulnerable for the first time, I can't help but feel emotional sob sob. Trust me, I CRIED the first time I read that part when he asked for a hug. We've seen him being vulnerable before, but him being the one who takes the initiative is an entirely different matter. I mean, Lucien????? the same guy that says he's okay when he got heatstroke???/hj.

Anyway, with each birthday, Lucien seems to discover something new. Like last year when he finally found a place that can be called home, this year, what he found was the loneliness and sadness from the past that he hid so deeply because he just didn't understand and had no time to deal with it. After his parents' death he give himself a new name and abandoned his old one. Like cutting off his past memories, put them in small box, locking them and hid them. Back then, he probably thought that he would never open that 'box' again and he would eventually forget its existence. But every time he get reminded of them, like in this date when he saw their names in reference he'd see the key of that 'box', reminding him of its existence.

Now, because of his encounter with her, he is gradually able to slow down, slowly understand his feelings and emotions. And so, he finally opened that 'box', went to the cemetery to see his parents and clumsily told them what he unconsciously always wanted to say, letting years of sadness and missing from losing them filled him. With this, he also slowly accept his every past self.

Like the fireworks after the long rain, his present self is alive and vibrant. Be it sadness or happiness, Lucien, I'm glad that now you can experience and accept both.

[kuuwo]

WIP Fake Wednesday

@unknownhomosapien tagged me but I’m the worse person to ask for wips because a lot of them are very messy

Some I don’t really want to show because I feel proud of them and should be posted like a surprise thing, others are so bad I don’t know what I drew💀

These are the ok ones maybe will finish them some day

This one is the song I said last time that I imagine them at the beach holding hand like afterlife feeling The lyrics translate to:

Would you mind, would you mind if I pretended we were back at this beach?

I always imagine them when I listen to the song😔 it’s just sound sorrowful but elegant

This next one on the top right is also inspired by same band (I listened to them too much it became an addiction) it’s just them on a boat in this mood(by Bernie fuchs)

trying to make it intimate 🫶 here is the song lyrics translation because my handwriting bad:

In the morning we imagine a boat

One day, yes, one day, we’ll take a trip on it

Front and back

Front and back

The surface of the water and the sky are side by side

Front and back

Front and back

I turn into a flying fish who gazes at the morning sun, amused

the rest of the page is just me drawing nerevar’s face and some voryn’s too

The body study started from that page too X)

This is where I draw nerevar blushing because I needed it on my book, it’s always in my head I want it out of my brain👹 it took a couple try, gonna draw more because still not satisfied. (I drew too many nerevar where is Voryn appreciation)

I always have this idea of them being the opposite, for this blushing instance Voryn blushes when he is with nerevar in the public and nervar blushes more when in private with Voryn, it’s fun to play with contrast

This is just me being heehee hoohoo this is happening in my head I want to see it

Lyrics Credit:

I lazy to tag ppl 🧍‍♂️

Thx for coming to my ted talk about nerevoryn

[kitten4sannie]

hi hello tis vamp anon again ✨️ (pls tell me if i'm getting overwhelming/annoying with the asks i am so sorry;; the last thing i wanna do is invade other ppls space!!)

ok last 2 hc: for the choi boys!

starting with our lovely sannie, everyone knows he's a big romantic and loves romance! i imagine vamp!san as an "old-fashioned" lover, the embodiment of chivalry, if you will!! he wants to do things right: courting y/n with flower bouquets, sweets, handwritten letters, etc. he'd be so polite and kind i'm crying rn;; but don't be mistaken, he's quite the flirt!! he loves seeing his sweetheart all flustered from his words like, "do you all the ways a lady can be seduced? oh the things i could teach you" (bridgerton ref GOD) he can be so shameless with his duality san definitely knows the affect he can have on others bro. man is THE BIGGEST tease the bedroom, but he'll fold like a chair with the smallest amount of begging. who is he to deny his love? bro is down absolutely atrocious

now for our big strong teddy bear jongho!! he's more the innocent/first love romance type to me. so as a vampire, he'd be super nervous when around y/n. jongho knows he's strong, and with the heightened vamp skills, he'd treat them like they were made of glass. always handling them with the utmost care! he'd be so shy and smitten with y/n, fumbling with his hands and messing up a couple words here and there when he wants to get to know them on the first date. (this also includes getting intimate with each other for the first time) he just wants you to know how lovely y/n is to him, bro literally looks at them like they hung the stars up in the night sky

i'm suffering over here man

hello again 💕 you’re not annoying in the slightest, anon! you’re actually doing wonders for this current creative process like I am so grateful for these headcanons of yours! and these ones killed me in particular ahhh im such a sucker for old-timey romance 😭 i’m sorry for taking a little longer to get this out! i literally cannot stop thinking about the ateez concert i’m going to tomorrow like i actually might die🧎🏻‍♀️also, i wrote way more than i thought i would but i just couldn’t help it ;; here’s some scenarios:

You were walking around the courtyard, admiring the spacious garden that you spent a lot of your time near, noticing a small patch of white roses that had just began to bloom. “How come I never noticed these?” you murmured to yourself, reaching into the twisted bunch of vines and leaves, wanting to pull out a singular rose.

“I had the gardeners plant them a couple months ago,” you heard a soft voice coming from behind you, causing you to whip around, successfully dragging your own rose out from the bunch, but at a cost. “San, you scared me.”

“My apologies, sweetheart. Oh, you’re bleeding.” He took your hand in his own, studying the way your eyebrows drew together from the stinging pain you felt, noticing a few blood droplets leaving the small cut on your thumb. “I shouldn’t have snuck up on you. Does it hurt?” he inquired, mindlessly bringing your hand up to his mouth and pressing his lips to your thumb, so that he could stop the bleeding with a slow swipe of his tongue. Though he felt an intense urge to take more of your blood, he showed incredible restraint, refusing to give into this sort of temptation.

“N-no, not really.” Whenever San was around you, you felt like you couldn’t breathe, but maybe that was due to your corset being strung too tight. The staff was never that gentle with you when they helped you lace it up in the mornings. “I recall talking about white roses not too long ago. Did you…have them planted because of me?”

“Am I that easy to read?” he chuckled, lowering your hand, but not letting go of it, instead opting to stroke the top of it, studying the way your lips parted slightly with kind eyes. “It was a wonderful idea. They’re beautiful, aren’t they? And they represent a myriad of things that I find to be quite entrancing: harmony…eternal youth…” He brought your hand up to his lips again to plant a gentle kiss on your knuckles, his intense gaze never leaving yours. “Loyalty.” He left another lingering kiss on your skin, sending goosebumps down your forearm. “New beginnings.”

You could feel your heart aching for him, yearning for more of his touch, his love, his affection. You wanted anything and everything he could possibly offer you. “San…”

“Yes, beautiful?”

“Will you hurry up and kiss me already?”

(i was initially gonna keep this pure but the intrusive thoughts won this time 😭)

One thing led to another and the both of you ended up in the somewhat hidden gazebo, which offered you some privacy. “Is this okay, love?” San asked in a quiet voice, his hands halfway up your heavy dress and caressing the outsides of your thighs, his fingers squeezing into your supple flesh.

“Of course it is, San. Please, do whatever you want to me...”

San lowered himself to the wooden floor, so that he was on his knees in front of you. With his crimson eyes glowing at this point, he pushed your skirt up, bunching it up so that he could get better access to your sex, running the pads of his digits up and down it in a teasing manner. “May I have a taste, sweetheart?”

You leaned back against the cool wood finish of the gazebo railing, doing San a favor and holding up the folds of your skirt for him, spreading your legs open a bit more. “Yes, you may…” you replied somewhat shakily, having to bite back a moan when he pulled your panties to the side and dragged the flat of his tongue up your slit, letting out his own groan of satisfaction.

ooooof okay it’s jongho’s turn 👀🖤

(i went straight to the spicy part cuz i’m weak 🧎🏻‍♀️also shoutout to my bestie @cherryxsang for helping me flesh this part out 💗)

After climbing onto the bed , Jongho took his time undressing you, one layer at a time, pressing a kiss to your skin each time. His fingers ghosted along your body, while looking at you with a gentle love-filled gaze. “You’re so beautiful, Y/N,” he whispered near your ear in the softest voice you ever heard, filling your heart up with warmth and comfort.

“Jongho…I need you.” Once you were both fully naked, you had taken the initiative, sitting in his lap and caressing his cheeks, admiring him, as though he were a breathtaking piece of artwork.

He pressed a few kisses onto your neck and up to your jaw, stopping just barely before his lips met yours, resulting in you both breathing in the same air, leaving you almost dizzy. “Are you sure this is alright? What if I can’t hold back?”

“Of course it is. I want you more than anything, so please…don’t hold back, Jongho.”

***

Jongho held you by your waist, slowly and deliberately pulling you down onto his length, allowing you to feel the way he was pulsing against your inner walls. “Does it feel good, Y/N?”

“So good…so, so good…”

He reached up one hand and slowly ran the back of his fingers along your jaw and down your neck, treating you as if you were made of glass. “Y/N…”

Sensing what he wanted from the way his lavender irises were glimmering and his pointed canines just barely poking out past his parted lips, you offered, “Please, bite me.”

“I shouldn’t…I might-“

“Jongho, I want it. Please,” you insisted, pressing your lips onto his for a moment, then pulling away just in time for him to lower himself and sink his fangs into the soft flesh of your neck.

Taking small gulps, Jongho grabbed onto your hips and plunged himself deeper into you, slowly speeding up the longer he was able to taste you. “So…delicious…” he murmured in a somewhat shaky voice, lapping at the blood the dripped down your neck.

[thewritingstar]

buttercup and boomer- of all ppl why did u have to be the one to see me cry? HOPE U GET BETTER SOON

Thank you!!! Currently feel like I have the Black Plague but oh well. Thank you for your ask!

Pairing: buttercup x boomer (I wasn't sure if you want it romance or platonic so im leaving it up in the air)

Fandom: Powerpuff Girls

---

She didn't like people seeing her cry. She wasn't ashamed of her tears, no her sisters made her very aware that its okay to cry. She didn't care if her eyes were red or that her nose started to run. Crying wasn't something she did often. She usually expressed her anger or sadness through exercise while Blossom chose excessive studying and Bubbles, well, Bubs chose crying but that was okay.

Crying was her own breaking point.

It was intimate to her and she preferred to do it in private. Sure her teenage self didn't want anyone to think she was weak but when you can toss a cruise ship ten miles away, no one really thinks your weak.

That why when she stumble across the blue eyed ruff with tears streaming down her face, she understood.

Boomer glared at her as she took a step forward.

"What do you want?" He snapped at her.

Out of all the RowdyRuff Boys, his tone surprised her the most. He was the gentlest out of the three, if that was even humanly possible. And while the boys still committed crimes here and there, Boomer couldn't bring himself to hurt a fly.

She wanted to snap at him but regained her fury.

"Why are you crying?" She asked him.

"Why do you care?" He bit.

She shrugged. "I don't."

But if she didn't care then she wouldn't have bothered coming up to him in this abandoned parking garage. She might have happened to be in the area by accident, but her superheating picked up a sob that was downright heartbreaking.

Boomer kept quiet as she took a seat next to him and offered him a candy from her pocket.

"You're giving me chocolate?" He questioned.

"You seem like you need it. Sometimes a piece of chocolate keeps going for another day. Stupid, I know. But it helps."

He took the chocolate and popped it in his mouth. "Thanks."

"You gonna tell me why you were crying?"

"Are you gonna make me?"

"No. But I'm here."

Boomer inhaled a sniffle and wiped his eyes with the back of his sleeve. "Of all the people, you weren't suppose to see me cry."

Buttercup scoffed slightly. "Why scared I was gonna throw you into a building like Butch?"

Boomer said nothing and kept sucking on his chocolate.

Something about his silence made her want to drill her hand into her counterpart. Instead, she placed her hand against his shoulder "I'm not. Everyone cries and if they don't then they are liars and dumb."

Another piece of chocolate was offered to him.

"My dads. They made me cry." He released. "They kept going on and on about how great Brick and Butch were at being evil geniuses and when I said I wanted to take up guitar and music lessons..."

She watched tears resurface in his eyes. The kind of tears that come from a place of pain, a type of heartbreak that its the hardest to undo. The parental pain that started the cracked foundation.

"My dads took my guitar and smashed it. I bought it too with my own money. Not money I stole or burrowed. The guy at the music shop offered me a part time job in the back and everyday after school I go for a few hours and most teens would think that it sucks. But I love it." He turned and looked at her. "Its stupid, ya know? Just doing shipment and boring stuff but I get to see new instruments and this one guitar was so pretty. It was dark and had a blue strap and-"

He stopped.

"Sorry I'm rambling."

"Don't apologize Boomer." She smiled and then it faded. "I'm sorry about your guitar."

"Its fine." He huffed. "I mean, who am I kidding? A kid like me doesn't deserve to have dreams."

"Don't say that." Buttercup demanded. "Just because you were brought up a certain way doesn't mean that you are your parents. For instance, you aren't even related so that might be some relief?"

Boomer let out a small laugh. "True but I'm certain that Butch has some Mojo in him. I wouldn't be surprised if he started to grow some green fur here and there."

"Why didn't you want me to see you cry?" She asked.

"Because you're tough. How am I supposedly suppose to defeat you if I'm crying?"

"You're not." She replied. "not because you cry but because you're too good for that. Boomer, I know that you haven't been told this a lot but if you don't want to be evil or mean, then you don't have to be. You have good in your heart. Its gonna take a long time to manage your own way but the only person who you have to please in life is yourself. Thats the only person who is truly going to be there for you every step of the way."

"And they say Blossom is the smart one." He sighed and leaned back to look at the celling. "One day I will."

She wanted to join him leaning back but she knew she had to leave to make sure that she was home for dinner. "You're only sixteen, you've got all the time in the world. I've got to get going but I hope you feel better Boom. And if you need me to kick your brother's ass, let me know." She winked.

Buttercup stood up and threw him her last piece of chocolate.

"Hey Buttercup?" Boomer stood.

"Yeah?"

Boomers face warped into something of uncertainty. Before she could blink, his arms were around neck and he pulled her close. A hug. Boomer Jojo was hugging Buttercup. A not to twist her into a headlock or to dislocate her spine. But a genuine and honest hug from someone who needed it more than anyone.

Her hands came up to hug him back and she could feel him squeeze her slightly tighter.

"Thank you." He whispered.

"You're tough Boomer. Toughest person I know."

---

They didn't speak about the hug after she took off into the sky. He didn't tell his brothers when he walked through the door three hours later. He most certainly didn't tell his father's as he passed by the kitchen without a word and hoped that her perfume didn't rub off on him.

They didn't speak about the hug when they walked by each other in the hallways. Buttercup offered up a small smile and he held the eye contact.

They never spoke about the hug even when he clocked in for his shift at the music store and his boss said there was a box for him in the back. With his name scribbled in blue and a chocolate taped to the card, he almost let the tears fall when he saw the guitar with the blue strap sitting in the box for him.

"For the toughest fighter from the previous toughest fight :)"

----

I hope you enjoyed this and thank you for the request! First fic of the year :)

[heymeowmao]

2022.07.08 - https://weibo.com/l/wblive/p/show/1022:2321324789011045811088

Come~ Let’s chat a bit~~

LYN: Hallo everybody, good evening! I am Modern Brothers’ Liu Yuning. WELCOME! LYN: I seem to have come earlier than usual and you’re not used to it, right? Well, I was thinking I would stream earlier and leave earlier, so that I wouldn’t affect everyone’s sleep.

LYN: ZSX is here, really? Does he have some show that’s going to air soon? This is a true friend, everyone. He came even faster than my fans did. // Alright, ZSX- since you came into my stream so quickly today, I’ll send you my autograph tomorrow. 

C: You don’t have any scenes to shoot today, so you came to stream? LYN: I’m not sure what you mean by that. In my mind there are two meanings. 1. I don’t have any scenes to shoot, so I came to stream = Ning-ge is so nice. OR 2. Ning-ge, don’t act anymore, just come and stream for us all the time.  

- Chengdu’s a little hot & Ning-ge can’t take the heat XD LYN: It’s nice though. It’s rare, so I’ll indulge in this warmth.

C: Are you selling your autographs again? LYN: What do you mean? I’m not selling my autographs. No- I said I was going to send my friend ZSX my autograph. You all know him, don’t you? You don’t know him? It’s alright, that’s normal. XD As his friend I also wish for his national recognition to rise. No- I’m sure you all know him. Zeng Shunxi! I was talking about him! I was going to send him my autograph, not SELL him my autograph. What? You think I can’t support myself and need to sell my autograph in my streams now?? LYN: Did he leave? That’s alright- he’s been quite busy in his new drama crew. He has a tight schedule and it’s been hot over in Hengdian as well. Shooting a guzhuang drama in this weather is hard work. Of course, the hard work is expected. 

- promoting The Truth - made an appearance on The Oasis; will probably air as one of the later episodes... but don’t worry bc when it airs, he’ll make a post about it

C: The Truth is going to air soon, can you do a reaction video? LYN: Do you mean to react to it on stream while it’s airing?? You can keep dreaming. LYN: Excuse me, I didn’t mean to talk back at you. This is a copyright issue- because the episode is only open to VIP members, and you want me to show it to you for free? I must be crazy.

- people complaining that the video quality is not clear enough LYN: Maybe it’s not the video, but that my beauty filter is on too high. It’s on so high that the video looks blurry? That can’t be, right? C: Turn off the filter. LYN: Why should I? Give me one good reason. C: You look better without the filter. LYN: Stop lying to me. Do you think I’m three? I’m thirty+! Do you think you can trick me? I know I’m a little foolish, but not to THAT extent...

- ppl complaining that the bgm is too noisy LYN: This is exactly the mood I want. You must not go to bars very often; I don’t go either, because I used to work in a bar so if I go to one I’ll feel like I’m at work. But the sound in bars are loud, so that you can have the mood. The bgm of my stream serves the same purpose. If you have a good home environment, try to watch my stream with your headphones. One, so that you don’t disturb other people; and two, so that you can hear what I’m saying more clearly and it'll feel more intimate. C: I don’t have a good home environment.  LYN: What are you telling me for?? If your conditions aren’t great, you should work hard- study well and work well- put in the effort so that you can make your environment better for yourself. What are you telling me for, I was only giving you a suggestion. I can’t help you. Or did you mean that you wanted me to send you some headphones? And al so- don’t you all usually watch my stream on your phone? When you buy a phone it comes with a pair of earphones, doesn’t it? C: Do you have Dolby sound? LYN: I do. Did you want to experience it? Type ‘1′ into the comments and I’ll let you experience Dolby sound. // I have to sing a song for you to be able to tell the difference. Let me sing something at random.  -- Zhao Lei - 少年锦时

C: My sister said you’re in your early twenties. LYN: She could be looking at the state I’m in right now and saying that... um... I’m happy~ First of all, I’m happy because I’m already in my thirties. So for someone to say I look like I’m in my twenties... means I’m still young. Secondly- isn’t she your sister? Go get her some glasses. If you really can’t afford it, I’ll pay for her. Get your sister some glasses. C: I need some glasses. LYN: Do you think this is an optometry? What are you telling me for? This girl’s sister said I was young- she was complimenting me, so I should get her a pair of glasses. - ppl in the comments saying “my sister” and “my brother”, so in the end he takes it back. “To be fair.” XD

- re-visiting the Vietnamese song from last stream: HKT - TẢI THÊM MỘT LẦN ĐAU LYN: People have really come to my stream to learn music, isn’t that frightening? We learned the first two lines, and today we’ll learn the next two. In a total of four streams we’ll be able to perfectly sing the chorus. - teaching the next two lines of “misheard” lyrics ;; [t/n: he did his homework! XD] C: I don’t understand. LYN: We don’t need to understand, as long as we know how to sing it. -  C: Ning-ge, I don’t really want to learn... LYN: Hasn’t your teacher ever told you, “If you don’t want to learn, get out. Don’t influence the other children’s learning!” Have you ever heard that? -  C: My mom thinks I’m crazy. LYN: Explain it to her, tell her, “Mom, I’m learning a foreign language. I’m learning Vietnamese from Liu Yuning online.” // First, explain it to her. Second, ask her if she wants to learn, too. We don’t have an age limit here, anyone can learn. C: She wants to know what I’m learning for. LYN: Humans don’t learn all their lives for nothing. One day you’ll find a use for it.

- comment telling their friend to stop watching LYN: What’s wrong if she watches? // You can watch my stream a bit, or if you have some work to do you can go do it. It’s fine.

C: Ning-ge, I’m about to be a high-school senior. LYN: And then? But, congratulations. You have to study well, alright? Cherish the opportunity to learn in school. I told you last time, right? My friend got into an arts university... and then had to spend the next two years in online classes. He doesn’t even know his classmates. So I think that being able to GO to school and have the experience is a happy thing. 

C: Is it hot in Chengdu? LYN: It really is. But I’m okay, because I’m not the type of person who hates the heat. I’m more afraid of getting tan. I went to an event the other day, and wore a suit, right? People asked me if I was hot. I saw the pictures and everyone else was wearing short sleeves and shorts but I was there in full a suit. I was just missing a tie. It was fine, though. Not that hot. It’s a heat I can bear. C: You wore a cap, too. LYN: If I didn’t I’d be done for. Likely to get sunburned. I’m glad I wore the cap... and glad I wore some light foundation. I went for fun and to experience some glory but I didn’t know there’d be so many cameras there! I came back and saw all the photos of me- and I was glad that I has some light makeup on. If I had gone there with a bare-face I’d be done for. 

LYN: I saw the Cang Lan Jue dongman has released an announcement of its voice actors, and I’m one of them, right? I saw you were happy about it; I had told you about it before, that I might have an opportunity to do some dubbing. But it’s not because I think I;m so amazing or anything! I just wanted to try something new. Of course, every new challenge I will take seriously, because I have to be responsible for myself. I’m sure that no matter how well I did, I’m not better than the professional VAs. So I just want to say that if you happen to watch the dongman and find my dubbing lacking, please don't take it up with me. I know it was just so-so. There’s a difference between me and the professionals. It’s just a start for me- a start so that I have room to do more and learn more. LYN: I had a meal with the company CEO, and we were just chatting and I mentioned that I have a yearly plan- something I want to accomplish each year, and they asked me what my goal was. It was to voice-act for a dongman, even if just a supporting character, so that I would feel that I reached my goal even a little. It just so happened that I mentioned it at that dinner, and the CEO said, “Okay! We happen to have something coming up for CLJ, why don’t you come?” And I was like, “Are you for real?? What a coincidence!” They went back and asked the VAs to see if there was a small part I could take, and that’s how it happened. It’s my honor to be able to partake in this, and I know that there are a lot of criticisms and I accept them all.  LYN: There are people who are saying, “If  you didn’t act well and also accepted money for it, then you SHOULD be cursed at.” They’re saying that it’s justified to yell at me if I do a bad job. I just want to say, I didn’t accept any payment for this- it was just fulfilling my own personal wish. So if you want to yell at me, could you be a little less critical?

- Trending @ #44 in the Entertainment Tab

LYN: I like to set goals for myself- even when I’m shooting a drama. Other than bringing the character to life the best I can, I like to set smaller goals for myself. It started with my second drama- no, the third, with CGX. Other than finishing the drama and doing well in the role, I set a goal for myself, which was to- understand what it was to... how to... uh... forget it, I won’t say. I won’t talk about CGX. C: How to ride a horse. LYN: No, that’s not it. Well- it’s okay if I say it. That was my first guzhuang drama, so the small goal I set was to 1. understand how to shoot a guzhuang drama... and do certain things. >.> With SYXSSYX my goal was to understand how to act as a villain. With Zichuan my goal was to understand how to act as a B-King (??). ALZ’s goal was playing an infatuated (?) man. TXJ’s goal was to improve my fighting skills, because I play the number one swordsman in the world and the first thing he does when he sees someone is to fight them. I wanted to improve my skills so you can see that I (as an actor) am improving. Be Your Own Light is currently filming, and my goal here is to understand how modern dramas are shot. C: What about Hei Ye (UN)? LYN: Honestly at that time I didn’t really know how to act at all. Of course, now I still don’t, but I put a lot into that role- only because I was essentially new to acting.  LYN: I can’t discuss in depth about shooting dramas and acting itself because honestly I don’t know very much. I just have my own takeaways and I turn them into my goals in order to fulfill a role. 

C: Ning-ge, is someone teaching you how to cook? LYN: Is anyone teaching me to cook? You must be worried that I don’t eat well and have gotten thinner, so you’re asking this question, right? You must be new here. I’m not a professional in acting or singing, but I have a cooking certification. I graduated from culinary school! C: Then, when are you going to cook me a meal? - /changes the bgm to reply to this comment -> Princess Pearl OST “當”/ LYN: The lyrics to this song will tell you the answer: “當山峰沒有綾角的時候 當河水不再流” (when the mountains have no tops, and the rivers cease to flow) “當時間停住 日夜不分 當天地萬物化為虛有” (when time stops and there is no distinction between day and night, when all things under the sky turn into nothingness). THAT is when I’ll cook you a warm meal. LYN: Wow, I didn’t sing that well at all. I proved I was a cook, but my identity as a singer just fell by 20%.

LYN: I saw some things people sent me.. saying that SYXSSYX might not have had very high ratings because the 2ML (LYN) has too many scenes. I don’t think it didn’t do well- I think it was alright. But my problem here is that the drama has already finished airing, and NOW they’re looking to give me a reckoning? Who do they think I am??? But why are they starting to throw me under the bus? It’s because there are rumors that I’ve signed with Yuekai Entertainment- that my relations with the CEO are so good that I’m already one of their artists, so they’ve given me more scenes. LYN: People always ask me if I’ve signed with so and so, and I’ve said before- I’m not signed and with anybody. It used to be that I COULDN’T sign with anyone, because I used to be under YY- it’s also a live-streaming platform. It used to be an all-encompassing contract- any sponsors, appearances, etc. would all be handled by them. At the beginning of last year my contract with them ended, and since then I haven’t signed with anyone else because I don’t WANT to sign with anyone else. C: Is “YY” Yang Yang? LYN: NO! It’s a video-based streaming platform, a lot of people who use the ‘net know it. But our five year contracted ended last year, and I considered signing with a company but after everything I had experienced I decided not to. It was just too complicated, so I just made my own studio, so I can manage myself. I’m very simple- if someone gives me a job, I go. If I don’t have a job, I’ll... sit here “picking at my toes”. LYN: So I won’t sign with any company. As for the Yuekai rumor, I’ve already explained. The first time I held a concert was in collaboration with them, because I couldn’t pull off arranging a whole series of concerts with just my studio alone. My fans enjoyed the concerts, I thought it was a successful collaboration, and it was comfortable working with them. So my second set of concerts I also let them handle. They were also starting up a music company, so I gave them my second album, too. I let them handle it, because I can’t do everything by myself. It’s just a collaboration; however, I do know that CEO Kai treats me very well. But even so, I haven’t signed with his label. LYN: So you don’t need to take this rumor and slander me. Whether it’s about the drama or anything else, it’s not up to one person to make the decisions. There’s the production company, the platform, and all the staff- it’s not that simple. I can’t just do anything because I WANT to. Also- when I was playing BCF I was nothing. I’m still nothing! When I signed the contract for SYXSSYX only one of my dramas had aired, and that was Hot-Blooded Youth. Have you heard of it? I’m sure not many people have- it was a drama I was in with HZT.  A Linghe Production, and Bai-laoshi asked me to be in it. At the time that was my only drama, so why would anyone give LYN more scenes just based on that?? I was able to play BCF because I happened to have the time right after CGX shooting wrapped, and they gave me a chance. I haven’t relied on any connections, only that I’ve met very good people. LYN: So don’t try to make the fact that I’ve signed to a company as hate material, because it’s not true. On the flip side, if I had the chance to sign to the company, that is my honor. I have my own studio, my “big tent” and all of my fans are the ones keeping it up. Some of you have been here for me since the beginning, and of course some of you have left me to start loving other people on the way. That’s normal. But there are a group of you who have known how I got to where I am today. My new fans are a part of this as well- no matter how “new” you are, you must have been here for at least a year or a few months. A lot of people wonder why I am worthy of some of the jobs I pick up, and I don’t even really believe it myself. But I have so many wonderful fans, and they are my backbone.

C: Have you been working out lately? LYN: Yeah, I have. C: Do you have abs yet? LYN: /laughs/ No. But even if I did it’s not like I could lift my shirt and show you on stream. That’s not PG. Maybe one day when I do have them I’ll make a post. Give me half a year’s time. I don’t think I’ve ever made a bare post. Give me a year and when I have the muscles I’ll make a post for you. Wait for me. 

-- bathroom break -- [t/n: new fan-edit! ohh it’s fun. XD] C: Ning-ge, where did your glasses go? LYN: Oh, I went to go stop a fight and you think they hit me so hard my glasses went flying? Why can’t you wish me well? I went to tell them to stop fighting and got hit?? My glasses are here... /spills his drink/ /cleans up the spill and puts his glasses back on/

C: I want to hear the handsome guy LYN’s songs. LYN: :) The “handsome guy” part of it makes it hard for me to refuse. C: What do you think, handsome? Can you sing us a song? LYN: Um... I can. :) LYN: I was in hair and makeup the other day and I heard this song... It’s been a long time since I’ve heard it, but I knew how to sing it. It went like /reading lyrics/- do you know which song it is? Anyone?  C: “Enough”? LYN: Yes! I think that was it. You must all be singers! How is your ability to search for lyrics so much better than mine?? Alright, let’s go~ -- 闹够了没有 - /sings the wrong part in the middle, blames it on the mic/ LYN: If my makeup artist didn’t play this song I would never have thought of it again. C: What an old song. LYN: /sigh/ This isn’t old I have something even older...  -- 舞女泪 LYN: I’m sure other than your parents, no one has even heard of this song- is it old enough?  -- 梦驼铃 LYN: Is THIS old enough? C: My dad’s singing along. LYN: So that means this one isn’t as old as the one before it. 

C: /more comments that their parents are getting excited/ LYN: Alright~! Next let’s play a song that all the Uncles and Aunties can sing along to! What shall we sing? How about 水手? LYN: All the Uncles and Aunties sing along! /enters the song late/ Sorry! Let’s start that over. -- 水手 (Sailor) LYN: What do you think, Uncles and Aunties? C: My dad says “Old songs are the best!” LYN: The classics will never be surpassed.. also, it’s just a great song. C: My dad doesn’t care for it, but my mom is hyped! LYN: I’m going to take a bold guess here, but has your mom ever dated a sailor when she was younger? XD

-- 再回首 - he’s trending! :D

- everyone’s parents are requesting songs now, haha C: Do you charge for requesting songs? No, no. I charge for OSTs, and I make you buy tickets for my concerts- but here in my streams the songs are a perk for you. -- 爱我你怕了吗 (Love Me If You Can) [requested by an Auntie] LYN: But this song can go really high, so if later the mic breaks, let’s just pretend nothing happened.  - /as expected, his voice cracks/ /clears his throat/ LYN: Did something just happen, friends? The mic just had an extremely unacceptable fault. It had nothing to do with me. If you don’t believe me I’ll sing it for you again and prove it was the mic. - /breaks again/ LYN: That’s just how I prefer to sing this song. Look at the lyrics: “Willing to love, willing to hate, willing to lose it all. I don’t want the world.” Look at this- they’ve already given up on everything. So at this point in time, this is how I chose to express this emotion. Every song and how you sing it is different. This is how I choose to sing this song. :p Of course, I could choose to sing it the normal way- here, I’ll demonstrate and you can tell me which version you like better. - “normal” version vs “emotional” version LYN: “Are you afraid of loving me?” Are you? “Have you forgotten the tears?” Have you? “My heart is waiting, and the rain is falling.” That type of feeling. Anyways- that’s about enough of this song, you get the point. If I continue it will affect my streaming condition later. There may be a group of you out there who don’t really understand music and think that my voice cracked just then- but no, that’s just how I sing the song. You have to remember this. That was just my personal style. >.> It wasn’t a mistake- those don’t exist here. C: You’re rambling out of embarrassment aren’t you? LYN: You probably don’t understand me. Here in my stream I have never been embarrassed. I’m sure I’ve been embarrassed when I went on some variety show, but never here. Do you know why? Because this is my territory, my home. Have you ever felt embarrassed in your own house? No, but maybe in someone else’s. Even if you’re wearing your pajamas and someone comes to your house, you still won’t be embarrassed by it. It’s the same principle.

C: How much can you make from a stream? LYN: Why are you asking about my income? I think you’re trying to set me up. There have been some cases regarding songs and whatnot. You want to see how much I make and report me, is that it? I’m telling you now- I don’t receive any income from streaming, nor do I have any agreement with weibo. This is a free service for everyone, and I do not use it for business. In fact when I stream I invest 20RMB in electricity and also three drinks. Sometimes when the connection is bad I open my own hot-spot, and that incurs a charge, too. The clothes, glasses, caps, and hair and makeup- all of this I pay for myself. I don’t make a cent from streaming or from weibo. In fact, I even have to pay weibo every month- for the membership fee. 

LYN: Oh, I’m trending on the main tab? Then I have to trash this kazoo- the last time I was trending I played the kazoo and I dropped five ranks. You’ll never hear from it again. LYN: Alright then, Aunties and Uncles- do you have any old songs you want to hear? I can sing them to you using my own style. //  一帘幽梦? That’s certainly old enough, but I do know it! Just because I know how to sing these songs, does not represent my age, okay? It’s just that as a person in this industry and a consumer, I need to know all types of music.  --  一帘幽梦 (A Curtain of Dreams) LYN: I’m not off-tune, it’s just that I’m singing too low of a key, because this was originally in the female key... --  迟来的爱 (Love That Came Too Late) LYN: /off to a rocky start/ I think I know how to sing this song, but why can’t I find the right key? I used to know how to sing this, but I’ve forgotten. Excuse me. What else was there? --  新不了情 (New Everlasting Love) [LYN: Ok, I REALLY know this one.] C: Somehow I’ve heard all these songs before.  LYN: Of course you have. If not you, your family members have listened to these songs. --  当爱已成往事 (When Love Was Gone) --  暗香 (Subtle Fragrance) [switches to this song bc the previous one reminded him of it] LYN: That’s about enough. I can’t sing anymore.

LYN: Someone said Zhu Xiaoyao (Zeng Yixuan) is here? Welcome, welcome. LYN: So everyone, do you need to be act as Bai Choufei and give her an apology? I don’t need to, right? All our grudges ended with the drama, we don’t need to take it into reality, right?

-- bathroom break #2

- he’s got a trending topic, but there’s a “Variety Show” label tacked on to the “LYN Livestream” LYN: Is that so? I’m considered a variety show now??  LYN: People have actually come to me asking if I can sponsor their products during my stream and I always turn them down. I don’t want to use my stream for business. I just want it to be pure/transparent. It’s just a simple perk for everyone, that’s all. I don’t want to turn something I use to chat with my fans into something for business- there’s no need for that. If I turned it into something for business, I wouldn’t be able to sing some of the songs I do- so there’s really no need to trouble myself. C: I came in from the trending topic. LYN: Welcome, my new friends. This might be the first time you’re watching. Actually, my streaming style has changed a lot from before. They say I used to talk back at my fans a lot, but that was just a joking style. Now I do that a lot less. It’s not that I’ve changed, but that now I don’t dare. I’m afraid that if people who don’t know me come in and see me back-talking at the viewers it’ll leave them with a bad impression. I’ll be done for. So I’ll lightly joke with you, but not as severely as before. C: You’re a little famous now and got scared? LYN: You’ve got something there... you’ve hit the nail on the head, a little. Because before when I was nothing and no one knew me they didn’t care what I said. But now I’m too much in the public eye. I need to be more reserved, because there are a group of people out there watching me like a hawk, waiting to get something on me. I don’t know what I did to make them hate me so much. I just want to say to people who have something against me: Do you want to meet up somewhere we can talk it out? How did I anger you or make you uncomfortable? Can we find some way for you to accept me? We can have dinner- of course, I’m not paying for you. We’ll go Dutch. You can choose the place and I’ll meet you there. We can talk it out. C: Give them a scrub. LYN: There’s no need for THAT. They’re hating on me and you want me to scrub their back??? I’ll perform some cupping (ba guan) on them and we call it even? See- this is why you need a skill. It will always come in handy. C: Scrub them to death. LYN: How are you so cruel?! LYN: But yeah, I used to joke and backtalk and chat with my fans, but I’m not as relaxed as back then. It’s okay, we’ll slowly adjust. My fans always knew I was joking with them.

- 平安河西 (a policeman (?)) has dropped by the stream

LYN: But if you’d still like me to joke around and backtalk you that’s alright too, and we can go back to doing that. Sometimes I come across old videos of myself and I think “How was I so mean?”  C: Let’s go back to before. LYN: I can do that. As long as you’re happy. 

- might have a makeup brand spokesperson contract coming up, but it’s not confirmed so he can’t say what it is yet C: I don’t know how to put on makeup. LYN: You can learn. // LYN: It seems like for your daily necessities, if it’s not associated with me you’re not going to buy it, is that it? Then, what brand of tissue do you use? Disposable chopsticks? It’s like if it’s not related to me you can’t live. XD LYN: I have a plan for myself, and part of it includes not signing too many collaborative contracts. Honestly, in all forms of work there are things I really dislike doing. For example, I really dislike taking photos. I’ve told you this before. All the making poses and whatnot- I don’t like it. You’ll notice that with other artists every so often they’ll release a set of photos, but with me- for me any event or album cover or ost cover- all the photos they use were shot in 2018. It’s not that I can’t afford to take new ones, though. Everyone just uses my old photos because I really dislike taking photos in the first place. The shoot with ZSX and YCY- actually that was my idea. It was just because my hair was long and I wanted to take pics. I brought it up to my team and even they were all dumbfounded. “What’s wrong with you? Did you drink too much? We’ve worked together for so many years and you’ve never once mentioned wanting to take pics. What’s wrong?” I just wanted to have the memory of having long hair, because I don’t think I’ll get the chance to grow it out again. I got to take some with YCY and ZSX, so I was happy. But regularly I don’t like taking photos.  LYN: But when you’re working with a brand you have no choice BUT to take photos. A few sets of photos, even. Plus an ad. I don’t really like ads, either. I’m alright if I’m just.. holding the item, but I really don’t like the... “go with the flow” ones. I like the ones that have a story-line I can follow. I hate the ones that are just a bunch of poses, where the director tells you, “You’ve used this product and now need to show us that it makes you feel like you’re flying.” You’re so happy to have used the product that you can fly into the sky like a bird, like a cloud~ How do you want me to act that??? I know I’m an actor but if you want me to act as a cloud, I don’t think I can do it. Those ~artistic~ ones, I am ill-equipped to handle. There are other ones- “You’re doing a performance and have to show us you’re enjoying yourself!” I’m looking at the mic and it’s like this- cordless. /acts it out/ But you still have to interact with the camera.  C: Ning-ge, maybe you’re using a wireless mic? LYN: But the problem was the bottom had the prongs! I just showed you!! When those are there that means the mic needs a cord! It wasn’t wireless, it was just- /cuts himself off/ C: Bring your own cord. LYN: When I shoot MVs in the future, I should bring my own cord, is that what you’re saying? If I see the bottom has no cord, I can tell them, “I brought my own to connect it, and the end I will stick into my pocket.”???  C: Just act, right? LYN: Right, but I just don’t like it. Another thing I don’t really like is for some products they want to do the “boyfriend pov”- you know what I’m talking about, right? Like the scene is interactive, and I’ll pat your head. I can’t take it! I can’t convince myself of it, and I'll get goosebumps (for being too cringe). It’s fine for everyone else! I can watch theirs, but I, myself, am unable to accept them. I’ve shot these types before, yes, it’s just that in the process I will feel easily awkward/embarrassed. I just like the ones that won’t make me feel that way better. - acts out two of the ones he did that made him feel embarrassed. (one for pore cleanser; one for coffee where he “feeds” the camera a cup and has one cup for himself.) LYN: I’m sure my fans are all happy to see such a commercial, but it’s just that I feel embarrassed seeing it. - says that next CFs will be ASMR-type, VR-type is for even later in the future XD LYN: This is likely to come back and slap me in the face, because my future collaborations are probably going to be of this “interactive” type. C: I want to see it. LYN: Then I guess I’ll have to shoot some.

C: How’s HZT doing these days? LYN: Go ask him, what are you asking me for? I’ve been busy too, we’re not much in contact. He has his work- I guess he’s also shooting a drama.

C: Ning-ge, don’t shoot a drama for now. LYN: What do you mean by that? Why don’t you want me to act? Give me a good reason. Do you mean “Don’t act, just come stream for us.”? C: Release more albums. LYN: /sigh/ My album... why don’t I release my album... because a lot of people release albums and find themselves frustrated... A lot of singers are like this...“I’ve put in so much effort to released my music, but why isn’t anyone listening to it? D:” Also, a lot of money goes into it. But you still have to do it. But when you do it no one listens. Do you know that feeling?? LYN: You may not be familiar with the industry, so you can’t understand. It’s like if you invest a lot of your time, effort, and money to open a restaurant you’re convinced will do well. After being open for a week you’ve only gotten two customers. Will you be able to handle it? I’m sure you would cry and have a breakdown, because you’ve put in all the effort will little result, you know? You’ve opened for a month and have only made 500RMB- not including your investment, those two customers totaled to 500, let’s say. If you had kept working a normal job you would’ve made 3000RMB in income for the month. If it were you, which path would you choose? That’s why a lot of us choose to work for others.

- if he’s going to release a song or album he wants it to be for free, because it is his honor that people are listening to his music. - if he’s going to stream it’s going to be without the option to send him monetary gifts, because he doesn’t use streaming as a way to make an income. - still though, he does charge for his concerts- it’s just that it isn’t convenient to hold one right now.

C: How much do you weigh now? LYN: I haven’t really been weighing myself, but I have lost a little weight, and have started to exercise. I made you a pie in the sky earlier, didn’t I? I asked you to give me half a year’s time and when the time comes I’ll post a shirtless photo to my weibo. It’s 7/8/22 right now, so around the new year I’ll be posting a shirtless photo. I’ve never posted anything to show my figure- because the truth of the matter is that I HAVE no figure. But this time come the new year, I’ll post a bare photo- of course, only the top half of my body. C: What if you don’t post it? LYN: I’ll do my best to post one, but if I don’t what are you going to do about it? You’ll just have to wait longer. But I’ll try. I go online and watch all these exercise videos- and then after I watch them I feel like I’ve had a workout. XD No, I watch to learn. First I have to understand it, and THEN I can start to do it for myself. Maybe in the future I’ll be a workout instructor. Not only will I be able to sing and cook, I can teach you how to exercise too.  C: GJ posted some. LYN: I know, I saw them and started wondering if I should start holding myself up to some standards. Nowadays being thin isn’t enough. You have to be thin but also have muscles. I’ll start with crunches. C: It’s fine as long as you don’t end up making your neck thicker. LYN: Yes, I saw that some friends were saying if you workout too much you’re likely to gain a thicker neck (neck muscles?)- I looked it up on baidu. Some people have gained thicker necks, because some workouts require you to use a lot of strength. /demonstrates/ But when you’re lifting, where else is (other than the arms) are you using strength? The neck. See? /demonstrates again/ So the neck muscles do get worked out; I think the explanation is reasonable. When you have a thicker neck, it looks like you don’t HAVE a neck and that’s a bit... but aren’t we going for the “swan neck” aesthetic nowadays? If your neck is thick you’re a giraffe, but if it’s thin then you’re a swan. C: Then exercise moderately. LYN: Moderate exercise won’t work. If you’re just moderately exercising then that counts as “being mobile/active” (and not “working out”). That’s like how my mom takes a walk around the neighborhood after dinner- that’s just being active. If you want to gain muscles you have to lift weights- grind your teeth and grunt with pain, work until your face is red and your muscles are straining. Where do you think the good figure comes from? You have to put in the effort. LYN: Anyways, I’ll try to post a pic by the new year and if it doesn’t happen... then I’ll PS you a photo. I have a lot of talented friends- they can PS one for me. Just pretend I made it. I have friends who can draw- you can draw me with abs too. LYN: I’m not joking this time, I’m going to do it. Even though I’ve told my fans this same thing about seven times since I’ve made my debut. It’s been four years now... but THIS time. I promise it’ll be true. I have the audacity to say that this time, do you know why? It’s because I already went online to buy some protein powder. With anything I do- whether I do it or not depends on if I buy the products necessary to accomplish it or not. Like for streaming- if I want to stream well, I have to buy a light, camera, and a good computer. Do I want to work out well? I do. Therefore I bought some handsome clothes, cool shoes, gloves, and protein powder. I’ve got all the equipment ready, now I just have to start making use of them. I never accomplished it before because I wasn’t prepared- my stuff hadn’t arrived yet. XD It’s the equipment that gives me the motivation to get to work.  C: You bought gloves in 2018 already. LYN: I threw those away. Because I threw those ones away and my feelings for them were so deep, that’s why it’s taken me until now to get new ones. :p C: Find an instructor? LYN: I wanted to, but the problem is I’m not just sitting around all the time. Not to say I’m very busy, but sometimes with filming I only get off at 11p-12a. If you want me to work out after that, I’d “die”. You understand? I don’t have a set daily schedule, and there’s no way to determine when I’ll have the time. So I decided I would try by myself first - I’ve watched all the videos and I have a plan for myself.  C: I don’t like musclemen.  LYN: I can’t make myself into one anyway. Not everyone who exercises turns into the musclemen you see on tv- if that were the case then every man in the world would be a muscleman. It’s not that easy. LYN: I can’t become one of the thick/strong guys- because even though I’m tall I have a small frame. People with a small frame are likely to look very thin, like a bamboo pole. Another disadvantage for people with small bones is that if you’re NOT thin- I’m talking about actors- if you’re not very thin, then when you’re on camera your face comes out looking rounder. Because your bones can’t hold (don’t have the space) for all your flesh. But with big-boned people, their faces have the space and even if they have that excess flesh they will still look thin. But their bodies are of a bigger frame, so if they have more meat on their bones, they are likely to look more sturdy/robust. I am one of the small-boned people, so there’s no way I can turn into the sturdy muscleman type.

LYN: You know who I know who counts as having big bones? Fang Yilun. He’s very broad-shouldered and his features are very well defined- so he looks very handsome.  C: Who? LYN: Wei Shuyu! When I say “Wei Shuyu” you know who I’m talking about, but not when I say “Fang Yilun”?? Wei Shuyu you all know, right? C: Ning-ge, are you going to work with Wei Shuyu again on your next drama? (A Journey to Love /  一念关山) LYN: What’s it to you?! Don’t ASK! I’ll tell you when I tell you- I’m not telling you now for a reason. Stop making blind guesses. Some rumors are just nonsense. But if I had the chance to work with Fang Yilun again, I’d still yell at him! As long as he’s in the drama, no matter what he says I will reply, “Shut up! Why are you EVERYWHERE? Stop talking!” XD LYN: If I’m in a drama with him, no matter what he says I will only reply with “Shut your mouth.” -“You’re so handsome.” -“Shut your mouth.” -“I’m serious.” -“Shut up!” LOL. LYN: Then I won’t have to remember any lines if I have scenes with him. // I’m joking, I’m joking.

C: When is ALZ coming? LYN: I really don’t know. Someone asks me this every time. I don’t know- I’m just a supporting actor. oTL First of all, I swear to all the people watching my stream- I didn’t get any added scenes. I don’t have any sort of connections with the production company. I swear that I only acted out whatever was in the script I received and nothing more. When it airs later, know that what you see is what I was given in the script. They might even delete some of my scenes, it’s possible. But please don’t say that I had scenes added in for me. I’m not worthy. Also, who’s watching it to see me? Other than my fans, who wants to see me? D: C: Ning-ge, just because you say that, doesn’t mean people will believe it. LYN: What do I care if they believe me or not?! It doesn’t matter- you can choose to believe me or not. Just know that I only acted the scenes I was given in the script. It’s that simple.  C: When will it air though? LYN: It’ll air... it’s still early. Right now it’s in editing. All great dramas go through a great editing process. Let’s all just wait for it together.

C: Then what if people say you’re overpowering someone? LYN: Who can I overpower? Based on looks alone in this entertainment industry, if LYN is said to overpower anyone, then that rumor itself is a joke. If you were talking about my humor or my height, then that is acceptable and I’m bound to overpower someone. But based on acting? It’s a joke.  LYN: I have a feeling... because I know that in the future I could possibly play a male lead role... if I am worthy of receiving the ML.. then I will be the one overpowered. Let’s not talk about me overpowering anyone else, and just focus on not being overpowered by others, first. It’s super easy to suppress me- just give a little pressure and I’m down. For now let’s just try not to step on any toes. Because I firmly believe in “what comes around goes around.” - Ning-ge believes in doing things he considers “good” to receive “good” in return. -- For example, all his albums and music are free- he may not be making any money from it, but by doing so (making his music accessible), he is now open to the possibility of being contacted to sing OSTs. -- For example, he was invited to sing at the Rattan wrap party, and made himself available and got himself to the venue out of his own pocket to show up for his friends... and ended up walking out of there with a contract for ALZ. C: Ning-ge, didn’t you say you went there and got a meal out of it? LYN: ...Are you saying that you think my appearance fee and the cost of one song is only equal to one meal? You think that’s a fair exchange?? -  C: Ning-ge, wipe the oil from your face. LYN: ! You must be one of my staff members...  - - makes a request to all his future co-stars to please not overtly overpower him, and even if they ARE, not to say it in so many words. X’D LYN: If anyone tries to play me, I’m going to blast them for two hours in one of my streams. I’ll set them straight. 

- saw that some fans are already PS-ing his face onto muscular bodies LYN: I noticed that some people are already making edits. Don’t do that. Make it more realistic, don’t give me pressure. I see some of you are already editing my face onto a muscular body. I was only joking. You’re going to make me lose my motivation, because I believe I already succeeded. I’ll hypnotize myself into believing that I’ve already succeeded and that this is how my fans see me. “In the eyes of my fans, I’m already this handsome!” And then I won’t actually go work out.  - shows the camera an example of a fan-edit LYN: What is that?? >A<

- introduces Be Your Own Light LYN: It’s a great new experience, and my first modern drama but there are really a lot of things I haven’t gotten used to. Like how since it’s a modern drama, I have to be filming on the streets. I have to be out in the world. I’ve been an actor for three years now and have done 6-7 dramas already, but most of those were all filmed in Hengdian. I’ve practically never left. Other than Ultimate Note- which was shot in Xishuangbanna. We were filming in the deep mountains and forests, and other than the wolves, our film crew were the only people there. There were only snakes, wolves, and our drama crew, and no one else was able to get to our location. Filming in Hengdian is a bit more enclosed, since each drama crew will rotate through the spaces on any given day. They’ll close off the area, in order to film with more privacy and so as not to cross lines. Because with a guzhuang drama you’re only shooting in a particular space/setting/location, but with a modern drama there’s no way to CREATE a city. LYN: We’re just filming on the street, because it’s not like they’re going to MAKE a street for you to shoot on. OMG, the people- I feel like- I’m not saying I’m popular, I’m not. It’s Tao-jie that’s famous. People will see her shooting and they’ll call up all their friends and relatives to get them down to take a look. I remember one scene we were filming in a small neighborhood. When I looked up, every household had their window open, looking down at us. Do you know how strange that felt? It’s like there was a fight downstairs and everyone else looked out their windows to watch it go down. They were all leaning on their windows, and some even had fans, just fanning themselves and watching us. Oh my goodness. That was so strange an experience. It doesn’t feel like you’re shooting a drama, it feels like you’re just a monkey in a zoo. I felt like a monkey, and I couldn’t even have a temper. You know how if you throw the monkey something it doesn’t like to eat it will glare at you? Or how if it doesn’t want you to take its picture, it will hide away? But I couldn’t. If I showed any displeasure at all, and those pictures made it online I would be cursed to “death”. 

LYN: There was a fan who came to the site to see me. I’ve already told you the rules for coming to see me at my job. But they came and they kept screaming my name. -__-; I didn’t respond to them, and they stopped being my fan. They made a post about it, from what I heard, saying how disappointed they were, and there were also a whole bunch of comments to that post indulging them! “I always thought LYN was a good person and so nice to his fans. I can’t believe he ignored you! I didn’t think he was that type of person!” LYN: I’ve already told you the rules for this. 1. You are free to go where you want, because I don’t have the power to stop you. But I advise you not to come. 2. Ok fine, you came. But I am working, I’m not here for fun. If I were here for fun and you called me but I ignored you, you can have a problem with it. But I am here for work, and I can’t respond to you because I am not the only person in the crew. When I am walking, there are other staff or actors beside me. If I respond to you, what are they going to think of me? “Yes, you have fans. Yes, you’re famous. So what?” If I respond to everyone who calls my name, it will seem like I ENCOURAGE you to come and disrupt filming. Do you understand? 

LYN: Filming a modern drama is a really new experience for me. Yesterday we did a take filming inside a home, and I have to open the door and greet the person on the other side. We started the take and I opened the door and said my lines, but then I made the mistake of looking up. I could see people on the floors above recording us with their cellphones. Someone even had a camera. It was supposed to be a nice and kind interaction, but after I saw those people my tone changed into more aggressive territory. LYN: I’m just joking, please don’t take that seriously. I acted how I was instructed, but I just told you how I was feeling on the inside.  Isn’t that overstepping?? I didn’t feel like they were my fans, I felt like they were trying to play me. It really affects my mood/way of thinking. - gives another example, of 20+ people crowding behind the main camera with their phones out, because they can. LYN: It’s a new experience- a totally different environment.

- Talks about how, when filming on the street sometimes the crew will need to block off a walkway or an intersection in order to get a shot without people in the background. People only have to wait one or two minutes for the crew to get a take, and they can continue on their way, but there's always going to be someone who gets offended. “You won’t let me walk??? You’re BLOCKING A PUBLIC WALKWAY?!?? WHO GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO STOP ME??? Celebrities can do anything they want, huh??” LYN: Whenever this happens I run. Well, I don’t RUN, but I do my best to make sure they don’t know it’s me who’s blocking their way. They get SO offended, and there’s no room for negotiation. It’s... fun.

LYN: I hope at the very least my own fans can be kind and tolerant. For example, if I’m driving and someone comes up behind me and wants to pass, under safe conditions I will let them. As long as they don’t scare me and make me curse, I will let them pass. But usually if you miss your turn and need to get into a different lane, you’ll roll down the window and stick your thumb out. I guarantee 80% of people will let you pass, you can try it. It’s a negotiation. - talks more traffic hacks XD C: Do I give them the middle finger? LYN: ! Do you want them to smash you car?! You’d better watch yourself.  C: I can stick my hand out for a left turn, but what about a right turn? LYN: Then you’ll have to trouble your driver’s side passenger. C: What if you don’t have one? LYN: If you’re alone in the car then you’re not going to be in a rush. What are you negotiating lane exchanges for?? Just drive normally! When you hit a red light just turn back on course. Take your time. C: Sticking your hand out the window isn’t safe. LYN: It’s not. But we’re going normal speeds, not breakneck speeds! We’re not on the HIGHWAY, we’re just on the streets. Just give the next car over the signal at a stoplight. If you stick your arm out on the freeway it’s gonna get taken off. LYN: Alright, forget everything I just said. Why don’t you go online and buy a doll- a plush doll and stick it out the window as your signal that you want to change lanes. C: What are the turn lights there for, then? LYN: Still use them!! I’m talking about when you need to negotiate. Some people will let you pass with your signal light alone, some people don’t want to let you pass. But sometimes you can negotiate. C: How about a foot? LYN: Shush. C: How about a broiled chicken foot? LYN: ?? You want stick a chicken foot out the window in place of a thumb or plush? Let’s not say whether this is acceptable or not first. The visual seems a little poor. Like you’re trying to throw your trash out the window. The other driver is probably thinking, “Do you think my car is trash or that I am trash?” LYN: Anyways, I like to observe people. The one from the previous example (”Offended Pedestrian”) is super intriguing. 

- talks about how his PD for The Truth wrote a post about what it was like to work with/for LYN. LYN: He’s really a nice kid, and sometimes acts like my assistant, even though it’s not his job. Technically he’s part of the director’s crew, only supposed to tell me the show program, and what I need to do that day. But if he sees that I am feeling uncomfortable, he’ll also bring me water and leave it for me, even when I tell him he doesn’t need to. He act like my assistant sometimes. C: Is he your male fan? LYN: The first line of his post was “I have no clue about Modern Brothers’ Liu Yuning.” But maybe after the program finished recording he made the post because he had good feelings about me. LYN: I don’t know if Southern China has this custom, but in Northeastern China we wear five colored strings for the Dragon Boat Festival. You wear the strings and they will collect your bad luck, and when it rains you can cut the strings and let them flow away with the rain water and it will wash your bad luck away. - talks about more customs, like dumplings at the new year and having a coin hidden inside. LYN: IDK, people from Northeastern China like eating dumplings for EVERY occasion. LOL. // I found out that Chengdu people eat dumplings a lot too! I’ve had some recently, and dip them in the hot oil. There are dumplings and also wontons, I know.

-- bathroom break #3

- his PD sent him a message, clarifying that he IS LYN’s fan. XD

- ppl asking him about second seasons to The Truth, and Ultimate Note, etc... Whether things get a second season depends on the its viewer ratings.  LYN: I think it’s getting pretty good ratings for a completely new show and compared to the variety shows that air around the same time, too! Like Sisters Who Make Waves and Keep Running; the fact that we’re able to keep up with their ratings is already good enough. Since it has decent ratings, I’m sure it’ll get a second season. LYN: I think the Truth is really cool, though- first of all, because the players are cool. :) I really like it though. I’ve shot very few variety shows since my debut, but even so they’ve all been related to my interests. Like Fresh Chef 100 and Chinese Restaurant, which are cooking related. Our Song, which is musically related. Other than that the varieties I’ve been on have been as a group with other people, like TTXS and Hi!6. But The Truth is something I look forward to, precisely because it is unpredictable. I’m just there to play the game. Secondly, it’s a game I can play for free. Think about it what Murder Mystery or Escape Room can you not only play for free along  with hundreds of crew members and celebrities, but actually pays YOU in return? XD - starts promoting the show, and tells people to go watch the episode after his stream, because he has streamed during its airtime. >.< C: This episode is scary. LYN: You think it is, but later you find out it isn’t. It’s actually the only episode that ISN’T scary in some way. You all know if you watched, so this isn’t really a spoiler- but in yesterday’s episode Bai Sanwan and I went missing together. I wasn’t afraid because I was with him. But if I were with Zhou Shen in a dark room... we’d piss ourselves. C: Do you refill your own meal cards? LYN: Um... no. All the money in that card is deposited at random. The thing about this program is... you’re not going to go to shoot it with money in your pocket, we can’t just whip out cash when we need it. Secondly, we don’t have our phones. If we have a phone, it’s one that we picked up from investigating, or if it’s needed for the plot the crew will slip it into your bag without you even knowing. Think about it- if we had our phones with us all the time we wouldn’t need to be afraid. We could just turn on the flashlight whenever it got dark. In Ke Wuku’s episode, remember how we collected a bunch of phones in the beginning? But then when we got to Fei-jie’s spa, she collected and locked them up. We were confused at first, but then realized she locked them away because the next segment was a dark room! LYN: In any case, when the lights are on I have the IQ of a normal person, and might even come across as manly. But when the lights are off I’m... lacking.

C: Ning-ge, do you turn the lights off when you sleep? LYN: Yeah. You can’t think that I sleep with the lights on just because you see that I am afraid of the dark in the show, right? I’m afraid of the dark because it’s an unfamiliar place! What do I have to be afraid of in my own home?? Because I know no one’s going to be jumping out at me at home. According to your logic, I can’t close my eyes. Because when I do all I see is darkness and I’d scare myself to death. That’s no good.

- will work with ZLY eventually... in this industry all there is is opportunity. the time will come. - most likely to be a second season of The Truth, and asked his PD to work with him again if it happens :’)

C: Do you eat the most? LYN: I think I’m alright... Usually I’m too lazy to eat. I’m the type of person who will order takeout instead of sitting down in the restaurant, unless I’m already out. So my takeout is usually soup, noodles, or dumplings. When shooting for the show they prepare rice and main dishes for us. It’s there, so I eat it. I eat all of their apples and bananas, too. Because I’m thinking if they leave it for the next day the fruits will go bad, so I might as well help them out. C: Takeout isn’t healthy. LYN: Your mother must have told you that. There is no “healthy” or “unhealthy”. When I order takeout it’s usually ginseng chicken soup. /being flippant/ Ginseng and chicken soup- is that unhealthy to you? It’s not about if the food is healthy or not, but more about the how sanitary the food is. But we still eat it. Sometimes you’ll order from a place and then have an upset stomach. The next time you’ll think that the food was good, and order it again, to have an upset stomach again. Then you know not to order from this particular place, and to find something more reliable. Young people these days are busy with work and have a fast-paced life, so takeout is more convenient for a meal. Who doesn’t wish for the time to prepare their own meals? But we don’t have that time. LYN: Try not to eat too much takeout, though and eat a proper meal when you can. A lot of people are living at home with their parents, so have a proper home-cooked meal. I count as a “wanderer” (liu lang)- I’m always out so I tend to eat takeout more. It’s not like I can grab a wok and fry some rice for myself in the hotel- it’s not convenient. I’m open to eating takeout and honestly I’m used to it.  I have experience with it too, so I can differentiate between which shops are tasty and which aren’t. C: What about hiring someone to cook for you? LYN: I don’t have a WOK, let alone any RICE to put in it. How can I, when I live in the hotel? I can only order takeout.

LYN: I don’t like taking too many people with me (his staff), either. I know some who have a whole group in the tens- that’s just how they operate, and it’s normal. But when I see the big group, I tell myself not to have so many people. Imagine I go to shoot a show and I bring a nanny, a acting coach, and an exercise instructor, a nutritionist- what for? Who do I think I am??  C: Add an herbal doctor. LYN: What are they going to do? Give me acupuncture every day? Check my pulse? C: A bodyguard. LYN: You must not know how I usually introduce myself on variety shows- I learned martial arts when I was young! Have you heard the expression, “The Wanderer knows martial arts, no one can stop him?”  C: Didn’t you learn “healthy” (exercises and stretches for a healthy mindset and active body) martial arts though? LYN: I did, but the point is I know the basics- I pretty much practiced flexibility. Even if I meet a bad guy it has an effect. Since my legs are so flexible, I can get to my knees faster [to kneel to the bad guy and beg for mercy, I’m guessing]. C: Ning-ge I want to be your nanny. LYN: There’s no need. I can take care of myself, thanks. C: Then, what do you need? LYN: Honestly, I really do need a workout instructor. So I can be prepared to show you that shirtless pic by the new year. C: Need any stylists? LYN: I have two already, it’s like your trying to take their jobs, which I find very disagreeable. I don’t like people who try to take another person’s work, because I’ve BEEN the person who got their work stolen from them. C: You need a janitor? LYN: I don’t need one, because my bro is Janitor Hao (the character Hao Baojie, on the The Truth).

LYN: Alright, it’s about time I wrap up and grab a bite to eat. You can go watch the latest ep of The Truth. If you’re watching my stream for the first time and haven’t subscribed to my weibo already, please do so. When I have free time I come to stream and chat. I hope you got some happiness and a sense of accompaniment, even if you only watched for a little while. Honestly, all young people are lonely. But you can think of me as your friend from far away. You can make comments in my stream, but please no curse words. You can chat with me. Sometimes people listen while they work and do other things, and I hope you feel like you’re in a better mood for having listened. I wish everyone a relaxing and wonderful night. It was great to have you, and because of you we had a happy night. I’ll see you the next time. Good night~

[chocosvt]

hi choco !! i hope you’re having a good day/night 🤩🤩

i’ve been a fan of yours since late 2020/early 2021 (i can’t remember when exactly) and i just want to say that i rlly rlly love your writing. like LOVE love your writing 💗💗

i’m a writer myself, but for years i’ve always felt like there was something wrong or missing in the way i write, and i couldn’t figure out why. but then i found your jun imagine because i love you, which (ngl) was one of those kinds of stories that changed my life forever. (also i’m a jun stan so 😂 it made me love this work even more) i read through all your works (other favorites include honey boy, the best friends brother rewrite, split your heart, brownie points, insomniac, second life, wish, fireflies, connect, ivory night AAAA THEY’RE ALL SO GOOD 😭💖) i love every single one of them, and gradually i discovered what went wrong with my own work (for example, my ridiculous tendency to switch from past to present and back in the same scene, my over exaggerated writing style, and strange pacing and plot). your writing helped me improve my own, and i am forever grateful for that.

you’re an incredible writer, and your writing has definitely inspired and changed people’s lives (at least with mine and the way i write). i hope that writing will continue to be a part of your life and that no one will ever take that away from you 💞💞 you have an amazing gift and if you ever decide to write a book and publish it, i will definitely buy it asap 🤩🤩

hope you’re doing well!! ✨✨✨ (imma go study for my ap cal exam now 🥲🥲)

OKAY i know you sent me this last week but when i first read ur ask it was my morning before work and all i could do was roll around in my bed cuz teehee-ing n kicking my feet like OMFG IT WAS SO BAD i love your MESSAGE SO MUCH I WANTED TO CRY MY EYES OUT!!

but then i wasn't even sure what i could say in response to it since i was like my words won't suffice in explaining my joy and gratitude!!! but PLEASE KNOW I APPRECIATE EVERYTHING YOU SAID I HOLD ONTO IT LIKE A LITTLE WARM TEA LIGHT!!

ALSO YES okay i still do the thing with my tenses! and it's always the opposite!! if i'm writing in present tense then somehow my brain automatically switches to past tense n vice versa I LITERALLY MADE THAT MISTAKE A FEW DAYS AGO i had to go back n fix all my paragraphs omfg ,,,,,,,, but i'm so happy that u were able to find an extra layer of use from my writing hahahahahah i think everyone grows into their own individual style over time!

HHAAHHA omg i don't think i could write an actual book like i LOVE the idea of it but i think my writing is more suited to fanfics eujgiseg idk it's just more fun to be apart of a fandom?? and writing is also soo personal to me i don't tell anyone that i write (i mean obvs ppl on here know) but irl i never talk abt it cuz it just feels too intimate!!

[whatudowhennooneseesyou]

Hi!

I'm so excited for your new series and day one was already a masterpiece 🤌🏻

I just realised I had written I am conventionally attractive but what I wanted to say is I am NOT conventionally attractive, it sounded so conceited💀

Oh I didn't know that duo had a siren effect. I don't know if it can give you more indication but I'm also venus dominant, with a taurus sun (11th house) and libra moon(4th house.. which i personally would say give the native mommy issues 🤡). My Lilith and Mars are both in Virgo.

Oh the kdrama series was me joking how that right person wrong time situation felt like (hint: there was a very sappy confession under the rain while sharing the same umbrella)

I definitely recommend the spiderman kiss cause it's so trippy yet romantic 🤧 I'm a huge hopeless romantic which is kinda ironic on how I only ended up in fwb situationships 😂

I was thinking of you today cause I had a guy friend ask me for flirting and dating advice 😂 I came to realise I'm quite to the point with asking someone out which wasn't the case a few years ago, but I guess I found out being more bold is way more helpful. I would rather express my point properly and get turned down than miss my chance and regret it. A lot of times I would approach guys that had me interested in them and told them how I found them to be my type and was wondering if they would want to see if by getting to know each other in a deeper level could uncover a connection, a spark between us. Or if they are a person I saw and caught my eye I would go up to them flash a smile, say hello and tell them that they caught my eye and I would love to get to know them if they gave me a chance, so far it had a 100% success rate (well at the same time I tried it on 3 or 4 guys but there are extremely high chances they might actually not be your type at all, cause that was my case 😬)

Hope you had a great beginning of the week 💕

-🐇

Okay, the spiderman kiss is going in my notes. However, when I think of spiderman I just think of Twilight 'you better hold on tight spider monkey!!' haha.

I love all the cheese.

I feel it's very difficult to not get into a FWB situationship in this day and age, it's either you're emotionally celibate and just hold out or you enter into those situationships and hope for the best.

I've chosen to go down the celibate part because I have an anxious attachment style so situationships would break my heart haha.

But I have a high sex drive and it's been 3 years and omg it feels awful.

Honestly, we go about the same way when it comes to asking guys out. I usually do the same thing and say I'm interested in you and if we can hang out sometime and it's been no's so far so either my game is off or I'm picking the wrong ppl haha.

I laugh at my awkwardness because otherwise I'll cry lol.

But I'm like you, the infatuation gets long enough when you're like 'okay, I just need to know if I have a chance' and then I just do it and get it out of my system.

Even though I've been rejected, I do feel more relieved when I've just confessed it to them.

I've never been in a right person, wrong time type of situation before.

I think the closest I've been the right person, wrong time type of situation was:

I had a guy friend that I had a really good connection with, we had the best banter, we would always sit together and smoke cigarettes and talk about music.

He was a Capricorn and studying politics at my uni. He had that alternative grunge style, he always wore leather jackets, flannels, beanies etc.

Whenever we would meet up, he would always light my cigarette for me and give me really warm and intimate hugs.

And I mean, the hugs were pretty intimate for a guy-girl friendship.

When we'd hug, he would always stroke my hair, or the back of my neck or rub my back.

So I always thought that maybe there was something there.

But he was always in a relationship and with a girlfriend so obviously, I was never able to ask if he was interested or see if what we had was more than friendship.

But I remember just seeing him with his partners and he always seemed like he was very caring and loving towards them.

And I just remember thinking what a great catch he'd probably be.

And then thinking, why isn't he into me? what don't I have that the other girls do?

And he graduated 3 years ago and I haven't seen him since.

And even now, I sometimes wonder if he ever thought of me as more than a friend.

But yeah, that's one of my many tragic romance stories haha.

I hope you have an amazing week as well, I hope you get some time to yourself.

[wh6res]

random but i cant stop thinking how hyuck is likely to end up with someone thts as witty as him cs like its fun for him to be with someone tht can keep up with him and banter with him BUT IMAGINE if his s/o’s only weakness is anything remotely sexual and blushes easily at intimate affection like he wld use tht to get the upper hand soooo muchh sbjdndkkd ; on another note, ppl say yr s/o is most likely similar to yr best friend and for hyuck we can conclude its mark (apart from dreamies) and hyuck rlly likes being with ppl who often give him the reactions he wants when he jokes and maybe someone a little gullible lol now im thinkihg of his yandere side and we have brat tamer yandere!hyuck who giggles a bit when he tells u yr punishment and u never know whether he’s telling the truth or not so every moment with him is anxiety-induced and he loooveesss setting up traps around the hse making u think you have a chance of escape only to end up with him right in yr face saying, “you fell for that again?”

fail | haechan

"the saccharine smile made your anxiety spiral. it was always something unpredictable with haechan." — unknown

warnings. mentions of blood, implied kidnapping, toxic relationship, threats, mentions of arson

disclaimer. this aint love. this isnt a normal relationship.

note. anon, you won. this sparked my inspiration like crazy lmao so thanks for that.

the window is open. the cool breeze is a gentle caress against your clamoring skin, goosebumps rising as you begin to sweat. it wasn’t in the least bit humid, no, because summer has long kissed the soils of seoul goodbye as the autumn season sets in. you would’ve appreciated the leaves’ earthly tones if you were allowed to go out and feel the sunlight against your skin.

haechan snoozes next to you, an open book lying flat against his chest. you knew he hates reading, you knew he was probably playing with his switch behind that paperback. not to mention he isn’t some sappy, sentimental guy. if he wants to make his act believable, then he should’ve picked another book and not paper towns by john green. you knew he was only humoring you, pretending to indulge himself in reading, or else you’ll never tolerate being in the same room as that despicable human being.

you swallow, a shaky breath escaping you when another breeze seeps through the open window. this isn’t right. something is not right and you know that because underneath haechan’s aloof and playful nature is a cunning, meticulous man who doesn’t make errors. he won’t purposely leave that window ajar. no, he won’t.

but... what if?

the floorboards let out a demure creak but in such a tranquil room, it might as well be a loud roar. beyond the window is a lush green forest, walk north for fifteen minutes and you’ll see a beautiful waterfall (haechan took you there one too many times). but walk farther and you’ll find the main road the main road leading back to the busy civilization of the city, away from the suffocating countryside living your boyfriend has forced upon you.

you should’ve noticed, really. how vastly different your dreams were. he wanted a quiet, mundane life with you. which is surprising considering how rambunctious and flippant he is, always glowing whilst in the middle of attention. you had dreams of your own, too. you wanted to study for a master’s degree after finishing your bachelor’s, and then after that, travel the world. it was too flashy for him.

and when you didn’t comply, he resulted in more creative methods that included a can of gasoline, some matches, and a threat to burn down your house. cops aren’t going to help you, not when his mother’s running as a mayor and he’ll be graduating top of his class with not a stain in his records. no one will believe you.

when your hands grabbed the dry windowsill, you could’ve cried as you pushed it farther open to be able to fit yourself through. it was by sheer dumb luck that the cottage is a one-story house. should you choose to jump out now, your feet will only come in contact with the damp soil of the forest.

you take a quick look at haechan’s immobile body on the plush couch and your heart clenches. he looks like his old self, carefree albeit petty and loud but it was what drew you to his light. until his trust for you started to falter and your freedom was but a mere illusion — no, no, that’s not your haechan, he is but a cynical man that used his reputation and money to bend you to his will.

your dress catches on a nail, hindering you from placing your other leg over the ledge. “come on,” you whisper, blindly pulling as your nerves start shortcircuiting. “please, please…” the tears were an onslaught. you already grasped onto the hope of freedom, you weren’t just about to let it dwindle through the gaps of your fingers.

the dress lets out a loud tear when you forced it off —

just as strong arms circled around your waist and pulled you back inside. the stray nail cuts against the skin of your thigh as he unceremoniously hauled you back. despite the loud sobs wracking through your body and the blinding pain of your skin tearing, the resounding lock when he shut the window closed was deafening.

“aw, my petal, you failed!”

“i wasn’t escaping! i swear, i just wanted to go to the waterfalls. haechan, please, you have to believe me —” the sentence he said, slapped you out of your reverie. failed? “what… what do you mean?”

the saccharine smile made your anxiety spiral. it was always something unpredictable with haechan, and if he means what he meant… you’ve utterly lost the moment you eyed that open window like it was your lifeline.

“it means, my stupid little rose petal,” he crouches, a nimble hand wrapping around your throat. “that you failed my test.” he scoffs, pulling you up to your feet with the tight grip he had. “you wanted to see the waterfalls, bullshit. you know what i do to liars, right?”

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[ningningsplushie]

Hobiday

Pairing: Hoseok x reader

Word count: 2020

Genre: self-care night, domestic Hobi??, fluff galore, comfort fic

Summary: Y/N visits her boyfriend Hoseok after a stressful day. Once she steps in his presence, the waterworks start and from there, he takes care of Y/N.

Warnings: Angst on the reader’s part, naked ppl ;) but nothing seggsual, sad emotions :( but it’s okay because Hobi is here to comfort you

Y/N had just finished her shift at work after a gruelling study session at the library. Exams were coming up and work was kicking her ass. As hard as she was working, it just didn’t feel enough for her. Fears of not graduating with the degree she wanted, along with potentially getting fired from the newspaper agency, were eating her up. What Y/N really needed right now was love and a bit of coddling from her boyfriend Hoseok. 

The minute she stepped out of the building, she had texted Hoseok if it was alright for her to visit him and due to them not seeing each other for two weeks, he of course agreed. 

Standing right outside of his apartment’s door, Y/N holds the handle of the door in a death grip, trying her best to push her tears down as best as she could, not wanting Hoseok to see her in such a vulnerable and messy state. Opening the door ever so slowly, she creeps in, setting her bags on the floor. 

“Hobi, I’m here!” She calls out, taking off her shoes at the entrance. 

Hoseok walks out of his bedroom in a baggy shirt and a pair of grey sweats hanging low on his hips. He looks so good all the damn time. How does he do it? It’s taking Y/N everything in her power for her not to burst out crying, but the minute he flashes his dazzling smile and says, “Hey flower, how was your day?” she loses it. 

The emotions she’s been bottling up for the past few weeks let loose, her vision becoming increasingly blurry as she starts to bawl, falling to her knees on Hoseok’s hardwood floor. 

Hoseok guessed this would have happened sooner or later, judging from how distant but hardworking she’s been but upon seeing her tears track down her face, her body huddled into a small ball, his heart breaks into a million pieces. He rushes over to her, picking up her frail figure, and carries her to his couch. Hoseok caresses Y/N’s head, allowing her to nuzzle her face into his long neck as she sobs and sobs. 

“It’s alright flower, let it out. You’ve been so strong for me, don’t keep it in any longer.” He consoles, giving her a chaste kiss atop her head and gently patting her bum, rocking her in his arms like a baby. 

They stay like this for ten minutes as Y/N continues to cry, her body racked from her crying and face now puffy and red. She stops and no sound can be heard, leading Hoseok to assume that she’s fallen asleep. 

Carefully, he tries to get up from the couch to carry Y/N to his bedroom but is met with a meek, “Hobi, I’m so, so tired.” 

Pouting at her tiring claim, he replies, “I know, baby. We’re gonna go to bed right now so you can rest up.” 

“No, I’m not tired like that. I’m just...mentally exhausted.” 

Hoseok’s frown deepens. “You work so hard, flower. You’ve got to let yourself rest every once in a while.”

Y/N shakes her head, locks of her hair falling into her eyes. “You know I can’t do that. I’m so busy and-and I’ve got to keep track of all my work. If I stop to rest for even a day, I’ll fall behind.” 

An idea pops into Hoseok’s head. “Alright. Since you so willingly came to me, I’ll just have to force some relaxation into you.” 

“It’s not very relaxing if you have to…”

Hoseok interrupts his girlfriend with a sweet kiss on the mouth, careful not to stray the kiss into something not so deviant. “shhhhhh. Just trust me.” He mumbles into her mouth. 

With Y/N still clinging onto Hoseok, he carries her into the bathroom, carefully setting her on top of the sink. He rummages through the cabinet behind Y/N’s dangling legs, and from below her, she hears, “Lavender or Chamomile?” 

“Lavender or Chamomile what?” She asks, puzzled at her boyfriend’s odd behaviour. 

Hoseok pulls back from the cabinet and jeers, “Bubble bath, duh.”

“Oh...uhhhh lavender please.” 

Hoseok gets up from the floor, plugs the bathtub, and waits for the water to fill it a generous amount so he can dump in the bubble bath. 

Hoseok leaves and returns with an arm full of candles, placing them all over the bathroom and lights them one by one. Once he’s done, he spreads Y/N’s legs apart and stands between them, giving her another passionate kiss. “I love you so much, flower. Let me take care of you. Arms up, angel.” 

Y/N listens to his command and he begins to peel off her sweater, trailing soft kisses up her arms, shoulder, and collarbones. “Bum up, please.” 

He takes off her jeans, leaving even more kisses and caresses on her thighs and ankles. 

He draws back from Y/N and says, “Alright, I'll let you have some peace and quiet now. Call me when you're finished.”

He turns to leave but before he can do so, Y/N calls out, “Hobi, wait! Can you ermmmm…” she begins to trail off, shaking her head. “Nevermind.” 

“What is it, flower?” 

Y/N, sitting in her bra and underwear, looks down at her feet and shyly whispers, “I just...I was wondering if you could...bathe with me.” She looks up at him, her eyes sparkling with hope and a little bit of embarrassment. 

They’ve been intimate before but they’ve never showered or bathed together. Y/N, as busy as she is, treasures her moments of peace so hearing her ask this, Hoseok it elated, wanting nothing more than to comfort and sit skin to skin with the girl he loves. 

“ahhhhhh, is my little flower shy?” He teases, creeping between her legs once more. 

“Hobiiiiii!” She giggles, burying her face into his neck. 

“You don’t have to be so shy, you know. Not when you want me to be with you.” 

The two strips off all the fabrics on their persons and Hoseok takes hold of Y/N’s hand so she can safely step inside the bathtub. He trails in after her and the two sit down, Y/N sitting in front of her boyfriend, her back glued to his chest as she leans her head on his shoulder. 

“You wanna talk about it?” 

“I don’t want to burden you. It’s a lot, really.” She objects, basking in the warmth of the water and the scent of the bubbles. 

Hoseok places his hand under Y/N’s chin and turns her head so she’s looking at him. “Look at me. Don’t ever think that you’re burdening me.” 

Y/N nods her head, burrowing her cheek on his chest. “Everything is so overwhelming. I feel so stupid in school even if I’m studying hard. I feel like I’m not doing enough at work even if I’m working my ass off every day. I’m working and working and it’s just not worth it. I’m so close to dropping out of university. My dream of becoming a journalist doesn’t feel like a dream any longer. It’s more like a chore.” 

Hoseok wraps his arms around Y/N and tuts. “I hope you know you’re the only one who sees that. I know, trust me Y/N I know that school is stressful but you’re passing and all your professors love your papers. You may feel like you're working a dead-end job but it’s only the first step to you achieving your dream. Your hard work isn’t going unnoticed, alright? If you were doing anything wrong, your boss or professors would call you out. You’re doing amazing. Don’t give up, flower, not when you’ve gotten this far.” 

“It’s too much, Hobi. I can’t handle it anymore.” She retaliates, trying to squirm free from his grasp. 

He holds her tighter, kissing her head. “You can and you will. I’ll be with you every step of the way, cheering you on and picking you up when you fall. I’m not going to sit here and watch as you give up your dream. I’ll support you and make sure you get to where you want to go. You just need to find a nice balance between life and work.” He smirks, pressing a long kiss to her lips and softly brushing his thumb over her cheek. “That’s where I come into play.” 

Y/N pulls always and playfully slaps his arm. “You creep! Can’t you keep it in your pants for once?” 

“That’s kinda hard to do when I’m sitting naked in a tub with my beautiful girlfriend.” 

Y/N flushes into a deep shade of red. “Jeez, way to ruin the moment.”

“I’m kidding...for now.” He purrs, hiding his devilish grin in their kiss. “What I'm not kidding about is making sure you’re getting rest and relaxing once in a while.” He puffs his chest out, forming his lips in a pout. “One day a week will be a certified Hobiday where I get to baby and cuddle you. Ah, ah, ah, no objections. I won’t listen.” He urges, pressing his hands over his ears. 

 Y/N turns around to face Hoseok in the tub so she can force his hands away. “Alright, alright. There’s really no point in fighting you about this.”

Hoseok perks up. “There really isn’t. Just you wait. Hobiday will be your favourite day of the week. Let’s get out before we prune up, hmmm?” 

Hoseok helps Y/N out of the tub and pats her dry with a towel, careful not to let his hands wander. 

“I can dry myself, Hobi.” Y/N whines. 

“I know you can. I just want to take care of you tonight.” 

The two get dressed and relocate to his bedroom, Y/N sitting on his bed and Hoseok standing in the doorway, drying his hair. 

“Have you been eating well?” He inquires. 

Ashamed, Y/N twiddles with her thumbs and replies, “Just instant ramen. I’ve been too busy to eat a real meal.” 

“You’ve been eating instant ramen for two whole weeks?!” 

Y/N shrugs her shoulders. “There’s nothing wrong with that. At least I ate something, right?”

“Uhhhhhh wrong??? That’s it. We’re ordering in tonight.” 

“It’s fine, I’ll eat something when I get home.” Y/N defends, hopping off the bed. 

“Home? You’re not going home tonight. We’re having a sleepover and don’t even think for a second that I’ll let you have another cup of ramen.” 

“It’s late and I’m exhausted, Hobi. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

Hoseok shakes his head, walking towards Y/N and tackling her in a bear hug. Y/N struggles to roll on top of him, trying to break free. Instead, Hoseok pins her arms above her head with him straddling her hips. 

“Yeah it’s late, you dummy. I’m not letting you go. You can sleep here. We’ll eat good food, watch Netflix, and cuddle. Doesn't that sound nice?”

Y/N falters, eyes glueing onto Hoseok. “I don’t want to intrude.” 

He groans, brushing his hands over his face. “You’re not intruding. You know why?” He leans down to Y/N’s face. “Because. I. Love. You. So. Much.” He enunciates, peppering kisses across her cheeks after each word. “Now shut up and take my love.” 

Y/N stops fighting and gives in to Hoseok, allowing him to cuddle her and cover her face in kisses. 

“Thank you for making sure I don’t make any stupid mistake...and thank you for taking care of me. I love you to no end, Hoseok.”

He grins at her, replying with, “Of course, angel. That’s what your sunshine has to do hmm? I’ve got to make sure my beautiful flower grows strong. And in return you make me shine brighter.” 

The two touch foreheads and Y/N whispers once more, “I love you so much.” 

“I love you too, flower.” 

This was it. Y/N knew at this moment that Hoseok was her home, her comfort and that she’d always find her path back to him.

[kewltie]

one of the great mysteries in hogwart is izuku's strange and intimate relationship with an older slytherin boy!dabi where he's constantly on the precipice of falling to dark side and izuku is perpetually in the light and how some ppl no matter how hard you try you cant be save and how sometimes the ppl we love are capable of terrible things. this 'verse always been endgame bkdk; it started that way and will end that way, but dabi and izuku's friendship deeply fascinates me esp dabi's intense unrequited love for izuku that keeps him from completely burning the wizarding world to the ground and dance on its ashes.

dabi comes from a long line of purebloods who are wildly known to be wizards who fought against the dark so when he was discovered to have an inclination to the dark arts... dabi went from being precious first born heir to the black sheep of the family that nobody talk about. the wizarding world has a v v clear distinction between light and dark magic especially because the dark arts been repeatedly abused and misused by terrible ppl throughout history so it has a deep and troubling connotation even though magic itself is neither good or bad because it's just magic. dark and light is just a division of it; it's ppl that created 'bad' magic and link it to the dark arts but it's easier to just denounced an entire system of magic then to say, 'ah, it's really all our faults; we're corrupted magic with our selfish ways.' magic is true neutral. But because there's such a heavy society bias/prejudice against dark arts in any form that any sign of it is consider taboo, cursed, and propensity to turn evil for the user so when dabi shown to have a talent for it his father turned his back to him in order to protect his family's honor.

dabi felt abandoned by his family and the wizarding kind so he seek to burn it to the ground; his anger and hate simmers within him and for many years he nurtured them till one day he can fully unleashed upon the world but then he met izuku and for once in his life he hesitated.

izuku was born a squib, had no single drop of magic in him even as he sees everyone else around him able to do wonderful things. despite feeling like he's worthless, he didn't resent them or their magic. izuku only becomes deeply fascinated with it and all the potential it could be. so all this means that when he does finally received magic from AM (a long winded story that i will get into another day), izuku who spent most of his life a magicless in a world full of it, knows what it like to be isolated, scorn, and feels as 'others' instead as one of them but that make it all the more for him to change it for the better so nobody would ever feel as isolated and helpless like he once did.

so dabi and his ability to wield the dark arts as though it's an extension of himself?? izuku finds it interesting, something he wants to understand and study and dabi as someone who knows what it likes to be outcast because they're diff and doesnt fit in the society's neat lil box saw this boy extending a hand toward him and first he spurned it but then izuku kept persisting and never judge him and never make him feel like he’s dirt, wrong, and that he’s alone… so yea he becomes deeply attached to izuku. their friendship started because they both feels terribly alone in a world that doesn't quite understand them and even when izuku has the ability to fit in, he sees how the wizarding world in its isolation has deep muggle/dark magic prejudice and there are cracks in this 'perfect society’ so while izuku is determines to change it for the better, dabi wants to burn it all to the ground.

While they bonded over their diffs but at the same time izuku recognizing though he has been mistreated in the past (his father a muggleborn and he was a squib), this world isn't all bad. there are good ppl in it too! and he got (new) friends to prove it. just because the wizarding world been set in its ornery way for hundred of yrs and STILL HAVEN'T adapted to modern time yet, doesnt mean it's stuck in bias forever; it can be change, it will be change because izuku will do it. izuku wants to see it change because he sees the potential it could be just like he sees what dabi could be if he wasn't drowning in his own hate and anger so much. he clings to their friendship in hopes that one day dabi will see the light and just stop going down this dark and dangerous path.

dabi loves izuku. it is the most unselfish thing he ever done because he expects nothing from izuku. not his love, not his friendship, not even his kindness because dabi knows what he's about to do will only hurt izuku so it's better that he doesn't have izuku because he'll only lose him later but he also cant seem to part way with izuku because this wretched thing call love has long holds him hostage and he's fully aware that either his revenge going to burn him out first or this tired and terrible love is going to eat him alive. something got to give and it's dabi either way

izuku loves dabi very much because he feels a kindred spirit with him and they understands each other the best even more than katsuki who is his soulmate bc katsuki comes from a place of prilvage and could never understand izuku’s feelings the way dabi could but,,, it's not the same love that burn within dabi. it's not romantic but it's strong enough that izuku can't stay away from dabi for long; always coming back to him. they have this not so much toxic but it's definitely codependent and dysfunctional because they both make it v v v clear what their intentions are and how they both deeply disapproved of the others standing and is firm in their own set of beliefs but they cant let each other go.

for dabi he's already paved his path on this treacherous and dark road and he's not turning back for anything or anyone; it's him or this fucking terrible society, but if there's one thing he can save as it all burn is izuku and that's all he wants; izuku to be untouched and free. So while dabi's decision is cemented in stone, izuku has a harder time knowing what to do when it comes to his relationship with dabi because how far is too much? how far can he watch dabi ruin himself hurt others before izuku say enough is enough, i cant do this anymore; i cant support you. sometimes the ppl we love is capable of doing terrible things and when they do act upon it we have to ask ourselves is this something we're willing to compromise our morals, our character for? is love enough to stay. is love enough to change/stop them from doing something terrible that they may regret later? then if izuku does have enough, what would dabi do? is he so secured in his revenge and goals that he is willing to let izuku go? can he bear the thought of izuku cutting himself off from dabi permanently? does that not make him waver even a lil bit? does it not make him rethink?

the way their relationship pushed and pulled with dueling mentalities and goals and the way they both so drawn to each other but yet also stands firmly on opposing sides; it's interesting to see how it all unfold in the end or... not depending on how far they're willing to go for each other

[lightskinrry]

Look.... Harry would learn your wash day routine by heart and when he feels like you’re intimate enough and that you need a breather he would ask you if he can do your hair...

on a lazy day but you’ve been working/studying all week and you missed wash day twice already and it just feels like so much work... he would kiss your neck and shoulders and massage your back a little bit... he knows you were supposed to wash your hair today because you mentioned it last night when you were in bed planning the next day but it’s already 3pm and you still have your bonnet on and been pushing it for hours.... he would just kiss your jaw and the corner of your lips before asking softly .. “can I do your hair?” You’re surprised af cause your routine is long and tedious and you’re not even sure he knows what to do anyway but he’d reassure you that he’s seen you do it a hundred times (and complain about it as well) and he actually watched a few YouTube videos about natural hair and he really wants to take care of you... you don’t like other ppl in your hair but you could really use the love. 

You’d give in and he’d just be so excited about it; he’d recite your routine to you looking all proud of himself : which products, what combs, how much time it needs to deep condition, what kind of shampoo you use... “Baby I know the rule... Never detangle on dry hair. Low heat Low fan when blow drying with the....big thing... I don’t know the name of but definitely know how to use.” The diffuser is what he’d mean and it was absolutely sweet that he actually learned from watching you. 

He would just run you a hot bath with Himalayan salt, dry flowers, essential oils, he’d burn your favorite candle and incense and ask which crystal from your collection he should put in the bath. The man just really knows you. You’d soak yourself in and wait for him... he’d come in shirtless with a little stool to sit behind you and be able to handle your hair... and you thought you would drown when he runs the water on it and massage your scalp through your tangled curls... he actually knows what to do... pre-poo with coconut oil, Shea butter cream and conditioner... first settle for a little finger detangling.. he places kisses on your back and cheeks in between strokes, asking you if he’s doing it right or if it hurts when he pulls a little bit... he’d rinse gently and put your hair in 4 sections and twist them...he’d joke that when he had long hair he wish he knew about all this prep... he’d take your favorite sulfate free shampoo (African black soap does the win here) and he’d gently massage your scalp and the twists without unraveling them and rinse them while telling you stories of what his old hairdresser used to do to his hair (yes I’m throwing shade at Lou here)... 

he’d get to deep conditioning and really detangling which you knew would be a handful after two weeks of avoiding wash day... but he’s smooth and he’s giving you all the love... he runs your conditioner with his fingers through the twists to unravel them and really slather in the product, he’s soft with the wide tooth comb brushing through the first section of hair; slowly starting by detangling the ends and making his way up to roots... he’s gentle and he kisses you every time he feels you flinch when he detangles a hard knot... once he’s done with detangling he puts your hair in your pink shower cap.... and massage your back... he jokes “That is a lot of work! I get why you’re always postponing it!” He feels so good and you’ve never had anyone take care of you like this. Putting in this much effort to make you feel good.

He gets up to pour you a glass of wine and get a look at the blissed expression on your face; he kisses your lips ... he knows that deep conditioner is a 30 minute treatment so he gets on the other side of the bathtub and propose a foot massage while your hair sits for a little while and you’ve never felt more loved or relaxed... he then gets to rinse your hair with slightly cooler water running his fingers through the curls all smoothed out from the detangling and conditioning. He brings your microfiber towel... he knows his business! He squeezes your hair with it before wrapping it around your head...

next thing you know he’s helping you get out of the tub and puts the bathrobe around you, leading you to the bedroom where he prepped your freshly cleaned favorite pjs and underwear. He never goes a minute without kissing you and putting his hand on your back of your waist or your hips. And he’s ready to butter your whole body with lotion and you really don’t mind if he does... And while you’re dressing up, he’s preparing the rest of your hair routine.. he sits you down between his legs and gets to moisturising; a little leave in conditioner and cream from root to tip and he seals it with oil on the ends.. “I can braid your hair if you want ?” That’s husband material right here... “I learned on YouTube.... Used one of your wigs to practice.. I think I’m pretty good at it.” You can’t help but giggle and your heart is melting... he really did put effort into this. He sections your hair into six parts and braid them. And he does a really good job even tho some of them are looser... “I think i did a decent job here.” He smiles and you rush to his lips because you already miss them... and all the love he showed you in such a simple way makes you swoon...

[chimielie]

AAAAA your tags on my yaku post!!!!!! I wanted to come say omg I haven’t actually finished the manga and for some reason SO many ppl do hcs of yaku as like a ceo/Econ bro/etc that for so long I literally did not realize that wasn’t actually canon. and don’t get me wrong I can see it, but I agree with you I also would love better for him lol. & would love to hear your ideas🤩bc I’d swoon over humanities yaku omg

😫😩 it’s not his fault he’s rich and hot and knows how to dress can’t believe the hq fandom gets away w murder in widely accepted hcs jkjk i am a potential econ bro (not really but likely to go into accounting) i see the visiona nd i’m into it NGL

ANYWAY humanities yaku is stupid hot i think your characterization of him in that post (if any passersby are reading this go go go read) is spot on so he’s probably into philosophy...... but he’s also a big traveller in the future i think so i wouldn’t be surprised if he was more interested in world history. he’s really fun to debate with because he’s not a dick and doesn’t resort to cheap tactics (like shouting over you) but is also very stubborn so it’s like a very long intense conversation about only one topic. he seems like he’s bad at writing essays though like he can be very eloquent face to face and then struggles to write at an elevated level (or at least doesn’t find it easy). he’s pretty easygoing most of the year but come finals he’s got a rigorous study schedule going and probably sets up a lot of study groups bc teaching helps him to memorize stuff and get intimate with the material and he’s regularly on the more competent side of students as well as a natural leader

also he wears a lot of sexy fall fashion without looking like he’s trying too hard. i can’t elaborate rn bc i’ll start drooling on my screen or whatever but y’all can figure it out

[izukult]

This is such a cute idea! I’m addicted to making weirdly specific Spotify playlists so this is perfect. I have an ✨eclectic✨ music taste but my favorites are usually bedroom pop (mxmtoon, chloe moriondo, khai dreams, etc), romantic classical (think Debussy and Revel), and indie (although I like some Megan Thee Stallion, AC/DC, Nirvana, etc when I’m hyping myself up). As far as my personality goes, I’m pretty insightful and like to support people whenever I can, even if I don’t know them well. I can be a little chaotic sometimes, but I like to think it’s a chaotic good. I love tea, blankets, philosophy, deep conversations, the outdoors, and writing. I’m also an INFP and a Taurus :)

Sorry if that was too much, thank you so much! Take care of yourself and stay well

- Elle ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

( @snoozless ) you don’t understand how bad i want to be your friend. 😐😐 ok so you kind of get bonus 😀 but it rly might not be bonus because akfjakdkw. so, i gave you matsukawa!! but he’s not always like revered about so if u want a character lmk!! i am. in love w him tho. you’re so sweet you would balance him out and yall would be equally chaotic together.

he would have philosophical questions w u!! he might just be a little blunt & might accidentally cut the convo short, but he would listen to everything you said.

he’s used to a wide variety of music bc i’m convinced the seijoh playlists are absolutely fucking cracked like so loud. so he really could sit there and listen to anything. and i mean ANYTHING. like if you wanted to put on christian rock he’d awkwardly try to tap his foot on beat for you.

but, that doesn’t mean he’s gonna geek over you i feel like he’d be pretty private about the relationship. he’s not like secretive but he’s not gonna post you every two seconds yknow? he wouldnt put prom photos, but if yall went to look at the stars or go on a little hike he’d take a pic and youre wearing baggy sweats and one of his shirts and your hair isnt brushed for shit and it’s way too dark to properly make your face out and he’d put that shit on his main absolutely 😒

this man would be the kind of mf to look up his “crush’s” zodiac just for shits & giggles, so if he randomly knows a taurus fact, don’t question it<3 (he looked up your compatibility and he will take that to the grave)

issei is an infp idc. so yall got that in common.

he’s genuinely so pretty.

bc i took so long, i’m going to put descriptions for all the songs i love you thanks for requesting sorry for taking forever i’ll link the playlist and list the songs<3

1. silly girl- chloe moriondo

okay while this song is actually kinda sad, i think tHIS is pretty cute. issei comes off as this intimidating guy, and the more you get to know him the more you forget ab this idea of him you had or whatever? like the lyrics “i made him perfect, cause i wanted him to be” are really prominent in the point i’m tryna make because like even tho the lyric is obviously sad bitch shit, music is up for interpretation and this is like “hello ok he actually a real mf and shiiit maybe he cool😁✊”

2. nice boys- TEMPOREX

kinda sad. i don’t care how unemotional he might act, everyone has shit that brings them down. PLUS HES A PISCES THERES NO WAY HES NOT SAD SOMETIMES. this song just really taps into insecurities for him, and the song just gets under his skin in like a very therapeutic way. also “because he’s a pisces” some of his emotions are super intense so the “because he cares too much” line hits him fuckin hard

3. IV. sweatpants- childish gambino

this is some shit he listens to more with his team, absolutely. no doubt they blare this shit during weekly practice. but, he really really likes the song. so, when you’re hanging out and he has the aux? it’s one of the first ones he puts on. you two jam to it together. he’ll come up w dumb little dances to fit with certain lyrics (stole some of them from oikawa and hanamaki, but he won’t tell you)

4. you get me so high- the neighbourhood

okay unfortunately i must say him and hanamaki get fuckin faded in empty fields at two am all trashy like. but they make it look good idc. and if you smoke, cool, if you don’t he does not care. he always associated getting high with,,, getting high and everytime he listened to this song it just was one of his getting blazed jams, but now he’s got like a different kinda “euphoric” feel with loving you? like i said this bitch is a pisces even if he doesn’t overwhelm you with affection, he thinks ab you 24/7

5. 80’s makeout session- dacelynn

thIS SONG IS SO CUTE. but it’s p self explanatory. in love and also spare a kiss pls

6. can i call you tonight- dayglow

i feel like actually coming to terms with genuine feelings for someone would be kind of weird for issei. like no offense, but he sees it as kind of a pain in the ass. i genuinely think he would be someone to put his all into work or a task in front of him. he’s super intuitive, and constantly uses it to be better. whether it’s in volleyball or like cremating ppl i guess (HE WORKS INA FUNERAL HOME POST TIME SKIP IF U DIDNT KNOW). and it’s the same in relationships, but it’s also harder because he can’t have this complete clear head because you make his brain go kinda fuzzy. so, this song is like his little way of expressing that even tho he was like ‘internally conflicted’ this mf chose to go for it and that’s how much u mean to him

7. clair de lune, L. 32- claude debussy

i’m gonna be fucking honest with you. even though he’ll listen to anything, i really don’t think this man is looking up ‘classical romance study tunes’ playlists in his free time. he definitely enjoys the music, but that’s only if someone points it out to him. and he’s listened to you talk about it before, and watched you as you heard the piano and gauged your reactions and thought u were pretty cute he’s not gonna lie😼. so he definitely just looked up classical romance and picked the first recommended song and added it on there. he’ll dance w you a lil bit, but it wouldn’t be that quiet, intimate slow dancing in the dark you think would come w this song. itd just be a little sway as he hugs you from behind while you get water, or he twirls you once randomly with a laugh UGH I LOVE HIM

8. like real people do- hozier

ok. this one was fun for me. idc. double meaning lol. so this song is literally about two dead bodies in a bog and ,,, and he works in a funeral home PLS LMAOFJAJDJA I THINK THATS SO FUCKING FUNNY AND SO DOES HE. but also this song literally is my idea of love. this is my idea of love. and yall listen to it, with your stupid little death joke, but he looks at you and he’s just like ‘oh’. yknow? YKNOW?

9. BS- still woozy

like i said, i think he puts a lot into work. and he literally plays for a powerhouse school there’s no way he doesn’t practice a lot. so that means there’s a lot of time where he’s physically not there and definitely can’t text, because he’s trying to improve. and while he wouldn’t stop volleyball for someone else, he understands that you are like super amazing for being so Cool with him not being the most available. the song just reminds him of how compassionate you are and also he does miss u when he’s at practice YKNOW?

10. i <3 u- boy pablo

this one made me so fucking soft ew. ok. this song reminds him of you so so much. he’s totally okay being vulnerable with you? and even though he has pretty heightened emotions, he’s never felt like so strongly for smth other than like ??? volleyball and caring ab his siblings (BUT HE FEELS DIFFERENT FOR U THAN HE DOES FOR A VOLLEYBALL AND HIS SIBLINGS PLEASE😁). HE LUVVVVV YOU

11. heart-shaped box- nirvana

so many reasons. for one, simply fucking JAM. yall would scream this on a drive. if you ever got drunk together, this would be the first song you play. also, little lyrics remind you of each other. (the pisces lyric in the first and third verse, and even tho the flowers aren’t being used in a sweet sense in the song he does remember talking ab flowers w u, and now any flower is mentioned and he’s like “ah yes. my girlfriend.”)

12. pluto projector- rex orange county

FUCK. FUCK THIS SONG. GOD. NO. LIKE HE REALIZES HE’S IN LOVE WITH YOU WITH THIS SONG. HE T E L L S YOU HE’S IN LOVE WITH YOU WITH THIS SONG. the first time, he just sends you the name of it like ‘pluto projector <3’ and you listen and it’s so sweet and ur like ayo turn this shit up. and he adds it to your playlist, which definitely gets a smile from you. and then one night like two weeks later youre just laying together, and he’s running his fingers through his hair and he pulls away for a second to grab his phone and he turns the song on and you just listen to it in silence and it’s so fucking intimate. and he’s just like “i don’t think i’ve ever related to a song more” and you think he’s making a joke so you tell him to shut up (also jokingly) and he just laughs and it’s dark in his room and he’s playing with your hair again and he just goes “god, if you’re telling me to shut up over that i don’t even want to imagine how you’re gonna react when i tell you i love you” and it’s right around 3:10 in the song i’m literally so gone for him. bye you cry and try to hide it but he can tell HES PERCEPTIVE

13. i wanna be yours- arctic monkeys

okay for one, it’s a good song. it’s a song he absolutely let’s play in the background, just to cover the static lol. but also? ALSO? THE TITLE APPLIES TO YOU THE FUCK? it’s as if,,, he’s whipped,,

14. supermassive black hole- muse

hanamaki prolly showed him this song, and it’s one of his vibe songs. he will do falsetto while singing it if he’s in a really good mood and it just makes everyone laugh, including himself. it actually kind of grosses him out, because this song used to literally just be a song he would aimlessly go hard to but NOW his little bitch ass is like “you set my soul alight”? i guess i relate and “oh baby, i’m a fool for you” well, surely i’m not a fool but yea i get you muse sing it. it’s so gross. at this point he wants one thing that doesn’t make him think of you, just to prove that he’s not that gone, but he struggling

15. desperado- rhianna

i’m sorry to say it but this song makes him feel like a bad bitch LMAOOOOO. like if he’s ever getting pregame jitters or anything, he will just play this song. whether it’s on the speaker or in his headphones, he puts this shit on full volume and gets a lil too cocky LOL. this is also on the main seijoh playlist no doubt. he wants to share his bad bitch song w you, so you can aLSO feel like a bad bitch?? dUH

IM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT BABES! IF YOU WANT ANY OF THE SONGS CHANGED (or even the character) LMK!! UR AMAZING ur so sweet it makes me ill

[bellamysgriffin]

oscar best picture ranking

bc i like to pretend that ppl care about my opinions (some hot takes ahead so beware!!) also not that this is not necessarily my ranking based on the film’s quality/merit, but mostly on my personal enjoyment.

1. sound of metal

alright, this one jumped around in my rankings a lot before i finally settled on having it at the top. the best performance i saw all oscar season was delivered by riz ahmed. so much of the movie rests on his back but he killed it. the sound mixing is obviously incredible, but the movie’s merits extend far beyond its technical/acting feats. it’s an incredibly cerebral, intimate film about an extraordinary change in the protagonist’s life. it handles that change with such care and attention and love and fondness that it feels painfully real and authentic. i could write paragraphs and paragraphs about why i think it’s so spectacular, but take my word for it, this is worth a watch. (i also want to note olivia cooke’s incredible performance. there’s a scene with her in this movie that i have not stopped thinking about, and it’s one of my favorite scenes i’ve ever seen)

2. the trial of the chicago 7

i said there would be some hot takes! so, let’s get it out of the way: aaron sorkin wrote this, and he’s a great writer, and one who i particularly enjoy. he’s super witty and the dialogue is fast-paced and compelling and i think the screenplay is great. i think, if you view this movie through a political lens, you’re bound to find a lot to criticize -- i certainly don’t love every change they made. but i truly (controversially) think it wasn’t particularly politically motivated. it’s about a political event, so politics is bound to come into play, but i think the situation is inherently interesting. 7 people who all believe in the same thing but want to achieve it through very different methods forced to work together to save themselves? i’m on board. this also particularly resonated with me because i live in chicago and i am not immune to outrage porn. i also really loved the touch of incorporating found footage of the real event with their re-enactments and i think it should snag the oscar for best editing. 

3. minari

i LOVE a good family drama, and this delivered on everything i like about good family dramas. the grandmother is as lovable as everyone hypes her up to be, and the kid actor does a great job (which i suspect has a lot to do with the directing). steven yeun is super sexy and talented, like we’ve all been saying. however!!! i think the mom did the best job, had the most interesting/difficult part to play, and the fact that that actress was not nominated for her role is a travesty.

4. promising young woman

this movie is SO divisive, but i really enjoyed it. without any spoilers, i understand some of the criticisms, again -- i don’t think this movie is trying to make any bold political or feminist statement. it obviously deals with feminism in a major way, but in general, i think it’s just an interesting character study. not to mention, a super glitzy aesthetic, a knockout performance from carey mulligan and the great inclusion of bo burnham as a romantic lead. please cast him in more rom coms, because i am in full support of that shit!

5. nomadland

for some reason, this didn’t do it for me as much as it did it for other people. i have no criticisms. i think it was lyrical and lovely, good for anyone who likes road movies. a really compelling performance from frances mcdormand who will likely take the oscar. this movie had great visuals and really intricate characters. it was about a subculture that i did not know much about, and it did a good job at getting me invested in how that works. it’s also an interesting look at aging and poverty. i think it’s got a great chance at best picture. 

6. judas and the black messiah

SO GLAD to finally be living in the lakeith stanfield oscar nominee era!!! i was really excited to watch this just for him, because i really love him. this movie had a really great in-depth look at the black panther party, and i also want to shoutout daniel kaluuya who killed it as fred hampton. this is only so low on my list because it’s not really my kind of movie. personally, it was a little too violent for me at times, and that’s not usually my thing. however, i really liked ALL the movies this award season, (EXCEPT FOR ONE), so this being so low is truly just personal taste, but i did really enjoy watching this film. 

7. the father

so olivia coleman killed it once again. i DID like this movie, let’s be clear on that. however, while anthony hopkins did a good job, i was also constantly aware that it was anthony hopkins. truly i think i would have enjoyed this movie much more had i watched it before i watched the documentary the mole agent. that was a chilean documentary nominated this year that deals with similar issues of aging and dementia, but because it’s a documentary it provides heartbreaking authenticity that the father, in some inherent way, lacks. i don’t actually see this as a huge criticism -- the father is a heavily stylized movie, and it’s trying to do something different. i think that’s fine, it’s got a very different goal than the mole agent. but because of how intimate and authentic the mole agent’s take on aging and dementia was, the father rang false for me in ways it might not have had i seen it first. 

8. mank

the worst thing i can say about a movie is that it was boring. and this was very boring. gary oldman gave a very gary oldman performance. the women were the best thing about this film by far. it’s one of those movies in which hollywood is obsessed with itself and assumes the rest of the world is too. usually, it’s not. also, it’s constantly homaging movies from the forties, but their homages were cheesy at best and patronizing at worst. it’s a bad look when the movie clearly finds itself superior to the films that it’s trying to pay tribute to. sorry mank, but you can’t even kiss the floor the philadelphia story walks on.