#because we see him thinking about the world vash is trying to make

[shalpilot]

a future like that...

[pancake-breakfast]

This panel stuck out to me when it showed up in TriMax Chapter 3, but honestly, I wasn't quite sure what to make of it at the time. Or, rather, I wasn't sure where Nightow might be going with it.

Meryl is trying to defend her time with Vash as not being a that bad, but then her coworker (amazingly named Karen) calls her out, telling her that, as a woman, there's no way Meryl could have been happy having her life constantly threatened while running around with Vash.

My first instinct is to defend Meryl, to shoot back at Karen that what defines Karen's life may not define Meryl's, and Meryl might be the more adventurous type who genuinely doesn't mind the danger. And besides, having one's life constantly under threat is psychologically wearing on anyone regardless of gender. So shouldn't she just shut her yap?

But then these words come up again later in the chapter. For (what I think is) the first time in the series, Meryl finds herself with an actual loaded gun leveled directly at her head by a person who fully intends to pull the trigger. She has no known help in sight, and the gunman calling her foolish makes her remember what Karen said.

And Meryl just... closes her eyes, and she thinks about all the danger she's been in with everyone from Gosef to E.G. Mine. She thinks about the Fifth Moon Incident. And she thinks about Vash.

But she doesn't think of gunman Vash. She doesn't think of Vash in a panic telling her to run away from danger, of Vash fleeing for his life over and over and over again.

She thinks of him smiling.

Not only is he smiling, but compared to the darkness and chaos of the other panels, he's a beacon of light in those memories. (You can almost hear the tense, dark music that's been flowing through the scene break into something lighter at his appearance.) And that image of him smiling kindly, still striving for love and peace, grows to dominate her mindscape.

It would be easy to write this off as her growing crush on Vash, or as her seeing him telling her that it's alright and dealing with things like being hunted and having your life regularly threatened aren't actually that bad, that perhaps these things appeal to a sense of adventure and/or what makes life worth living. After all, we've seen similar messages come up in similar fashions in so many other anime and manga series.

But that's not what Meryl concludes from it. Instead, she thinks about Vash's smiling face and concludes her coworker is right. There isn't a way for she, Meryl, to truly be happy when she's constantly getting thrown into these situations.

Her conclusion doesn't end there, though. She doesn't look at the situation and go, "Well, I guess it's time for me, a girl, to throw in the towel so I can pursue a happier existence."

Instead, she concludes that she has to keep doing this sort of thing anyway regardless of any danger or fulfillment.

She realizes that what she dealt with for the time she followed Vash around was crazy and terrifying and, yes, life-threatening. And she realizes that this is how Vash lives all the time. Unlike her, it's not something he has the option to just tap out of when the mood suits. As we were shown in the previous two chapters, Vash genuinely can't just make a new life or career choice or whatever and just... hunt for his own happiness instead. Chaos is going to follow him unbidden wherever he goes.

But he keeps going. And he doesn't just keep going, but through it all he keeps smiling kindly at others, offers them encouragement, and despite all he's seen and been through, keeps trying harder to work for a world with more love and peace. Not because it's safe or happy or appeals to a sense of adventure. It's none of those things. He continues on this path because it's the right thing to do.

Meryl realizes the same thing is true for her. Accepting another assignment from the company to follow Vash around isn't going to bring her the kind of life Karen suggested was ideal. In fact, it's more likely that following in Vash's footsteps (whether figuratively or literally) is going to end up with Meryl in additional stressful situations with her life on the line far more than is truly reasonable for anyone (regardless of gender). It isn't necessarily going to bring her happiness. It certainly isn't going to bring her peace.

But it's the right thing to do, which makes it the only path forward for her, and so she'll embrace it despite all the struggles it brings.

[mediocreanomaly]

NESTING? PLS 😭 like ARE WE CONNECTED SOMEHOW this is so good

i have drowsy knives purring himself to sleep stuck in my head now--THIS IS LITERAL GOLD 😭 it would take a v special s/o to pick up the slight nuances of his emotions too n he'd be head over heels 🥺

but nesting instincts 🥺 please for the love of everything knives elaborate i i i wanna know all there is to know ab this man 🥺👉👈

n maybe vashy seperately too?? 🥴

Authors Note: Turned this into a full post because I'm procrastinating my drabbles anyways lmao this is going to give away a teeny tiny bit of my uncanny Vash post I'm making but I love talking about the Twins and their less than human instincts

Savern Twins Nesting HC's

Knives

•Knives is surprisingly the less embarrassed of the twins about nesting instincts, this is solely based on the fact that he doesn't see his plant qualities to be anything to be ashamed about, it's just another thing that sets him apart from humans

•Although, no one (besides you) knows about Knives nest. You may wonder how the two points can co-exist but that because a Plant's nest is supposed to be somewhere secure and safe. So while he's not embarrassed that he has a nest, he's not going to openly talk about it and risk giving away someone trying to get a peek of it (not that he really openly talks about anything)

•Knives nest is big, he had a bed custom made that's larger than a kings but circular and with plush raised walls so it feels not secure and less in the open. He's collected various blankets and pillows that fill the empty space so that he can bundle up under them, all of it is white because he refuses to let his nest look ugly or disorganized

•He's a perfectionist too so he spends a lot of time organizing and reorganizing his nest. Every time he gets a new blanket or pillow to add he has to redo the whole thing to make sure it's in the perfect spot or else he refuses to sleep in it

•Now Knives doesn't have to sleep much like he doesn't have to eat, but sleeping is something enjoys. He stresses about his plans a lot even if he doesn't show it outwardly. What better way to destress than napping in his nest?

•Whenever he decides to officially make you his mate (yes he calls it that, what else is he supposed to call it? Everything else sounds too human) all his instincts will scream at him to burrow into his nest

•For awhile you'll actually be hard pressed to even be allowed out of the nest, because why would you want to leave? As your mate Knives needs to keep you safe, and where's the safest place in the world? His safest place in the world, so please stop trying to leave the nest- you're hungry? fine he'll bring you food that you can eat in the nest

•I honestly don't think Independents hold body heat because their sisters live in water, which is one of many reasons they nest. It's also why Nai will drag you in with him when he wants to sleep so he can bum off your body heat. That's when when you learn he can purr (yeah thats right Plants purr propaganda) naps like this are the best. It's hard to stay awake when he's got you cuddled under blankets, gentle rumbles lulling you asleep

•After awhile you'll be allowed out so long as you are by his side or being escorted by Legato, or atleast unless you get pregnant

•If Knives manages to get you pregnant...you are banished to the nest again. It's not so bad though, besides he likes you like this. All round and full of his child, surrounded by plush comforters and pillows that cradle your form. At this point he won't leave your side unless he has to, if his instincts were bad before then they are haywire now, he stays curled up with you because theres no way you'd be able to defend yourself in a state like this, it's his job as your mate to keep you and his unborn child safe and sound, tucked away from the rest of the world

•When the baby is born it's where you'll spend most your time too, I mean...c'mon think about it. Your little one all tucked against you and Nai curled protectively around both of you, gentle purrs from both him and your baby as both their plant markings glow ever so slightly? If there's such thing as heaven this is it

•Knives has purposely made his nest large enough to hold his growing family, so no matter how many children you have you'll all get to curl up in the nest to find comfort or just to sleep.

•I think unfortunately once the children hit a certain age they are kicked out of the nest lol, it's more reserved for a Plants mate and young ones, so starting at maybe teen age it's time for them to make their own nest

•This isn't to say they aren't ever allowed in at all though. If Knives children are in any sort of distress his instincts kick in telling him to make sure their safe so in times like that they are still allowed in, the purpose of the nest is to provide him and his family with safety and comfort so no matter what it's there waiting for you

Vash

•Vash is admittedly a bit more embarrassed about the fact that he nest

•He tries his best to blend in with humans and thinks that people might find it weird that his instincts are constantly telling him to grab every soft thing he can find and hunker down

•Not that it really matters because he's always on the run anyways, he doesn't have time to stop and nest in the first place which makes it an easy an excuse to not nest at all, so Vash doesn't have a nest...right?

•Wrong. Like I said it's instinct and even Vash can't help but begin to nest in whatever shitty motel room he's in, especially if he's had a really rough day and just wants to sleep.

•Vash's nest is...admittedly a bit more pitiful than Knives. Knives has the advantage of staying in one spot, Vash does not, so he doesn't have a single nest but more so a hastily made one consisting of anything soft he can find. old blankets, pillows, clothes, rags, and even his own coat all make up his haphazard resting place.

•When he meets you though oh boy does it make it harder to resist the urge to stay and make a nice big nest for the two of you to hide away in

•It takes awhile for you to learn of Vash's little habit because he tries really hard to hide it away. He doesn't want you to think he's weird so when he does show it to you and you don't react negativly he's shyly asking, "do you...want to get in it?"

•Please say yes, his heart can't take any other answer. After that Vash is more keen on nesting even though the two of you travel, you even buy him a couple blankets that you pack up and bring so that he has something more consistant to nest with. The two of you will arrive at the motel for the night and you sit on the bed watching as Vash sleepily mulls over the blankets, pillows, and clothes he's choosen and organses it in a satisfactory way before he weakily pulls you in with him, purring as he cuddles up to you

•If you run your hand through his hair you'll be rewarded with more purrs and him nuzzling into your hand, but don't comment on it or he'll get embarrassed and hide his face into the blankets while he pulls away

•Vash wouldn't try to get you pregnant unless it was after he dealt with his brother and at that point I think he'd have a more permanent nest. Whether that's on Ship 3 or your own little home he's finally got a spot that he knows is always there, perfect to keep you in while you grow your baby!

•Vash loves spending time in the nest, it's from a mixture of putting off his instincts so long when he was on the run and the fact he actually has a place of comfort for once that does it, so if you can't find your partner...he's most likely buried in the nest

•It's super cute though, you'll walk in the room and softly call "Vash?" and his head will peak out of the mountain of blankets eyes still half lidded with sleep and hair all messy as he says a soft "hmm?"

•This nest is still a bit more messy and it's one of those "it looks disorganized but Vash know exactly where everything is" situations, he doesn't really care about colors or anything, infact it's proably mostly blankets that other people have gifted him over the years, he feels like it tells a story

•Unlike Knives, you'll have to be the one to eventually kick the kids out of the nest once they get older because "what do you mean they can't stay in here with us? Their still our baby!" "Vash their 20" "and?"

•Vash's plant marks always appear when he's in the nest, he can't help it! It's so comforting, besides he has you here warming him up and your kids cuddled in the covers- oop he's crying, don't worry they're happy tears

After note: I hope you liked it!!! I wanted to add more stuff about you being able to read Knives but it didn't really fit so that might have to be saved for another list I'm a firm "the boys do weird but cute animal things" believer and it's my job to infect people with that propaganda

[meguwumibear]

A Night Out Dancing

Tomorrow your party will reach JuLai. Tonight Wolfwood wants to dance.

thank you @/firein-thesky for commissioning this piece for the @ficsforgaza collaboration

The sky above No Man’s Land is inky and starless. The air stale and still. Despite the hour, the world around you is oppressively warm and dry. Nights in the desert are usually bitterly cold. You’re not sure what’s gotten into the weather today.

Vash at least doesn’t seem plagued by strange temperature, but then Vash can sleep through anything, including Meryl’s jerky driving, so the comparison isn’t fair. Meryl’s fast asleep too, tucked neatly into the driver’s seat. You watch her toss and turn for a while, wondering what she dreams of. Someplace nice, hopefully. Somewhere lush and flourishing and green.

Even Roberto seems to have found sleep, albeit at the bottom of a bottle. He’s snoring gently in the passenger seat, mouth wide open, empty liquor bottle still clutched tightly in his hands.

Seems everyone’s immune to the hot desert night but you.

There’s a chance it isn’t the heat keeping you up. It’s possible you’re making excuses, blaming the external world around you for your insomnia so you don’t have to turn inward, so you don’t have to confront your building anxieties about what the future holds for your little traveling party. It’s going to crack and splinter apart, isn’t it? Like that land mass you once read about in a book that spoke of some far away planet called Earth. Pangaea. A supercontinent forced apart by shifting tectonic plates.

Tomorrow, you’ll reach JuLai, and everyone will drift away from you. You’ll spend the rest of your life trying to remember what it felt like to be whole.

Fuck it. If you’re not gonna get some shut eye, you may as well make yourself useful.

Wolfwood is perched on a sand dune, resting against his cross shaped gun, lit cigarette in hand, nearly burnt down to the filter. He takes one final drag of it as he sees you approach, then snubs the thing out in the sand.

“I’ll take over the watch,” you tell him, eyes drawn to the little ‘o’ shape his mouth makes as he lazily releases the final dregs of smoke.

“Not your turn yet, sweetheart,” he replies. “Go back to sleep.”

If only you could.

“Haven’t been able to. Too much shit on my mind. No sense in my staring at the back of my eyelids when I could be doing this instead.”

Wolfwood stares at you through tinted shades he hasn’t bothered to remove despite the darkness of the night. The glasses are a part of his costume, of his carefully crafted mask that even after months of travelling together he’s still hiding behind. He told you he’s an undertaker, but he dresses like a priest. On a runaway Sandsteamer, you learn he is an orphan. You’ve learned nothing since.

“You should take better care of yourself,” he says, as if caring for yourself is easy.

“You’re one to talk,” you reply, eyes giving him a quick once over. It’s been a few days since you’ve spent the night somewhere with a working bathroom. Without a mirror or razor, the stubble on his chin has grown more and more pronounced. The hairs suit him, you think. Your fingers itch to run along his jaw.

“You’re staring,” he observes, mouth crooking into a smug grin because the undertaker or priest or whatever the fuck he is knows how handsome he is.

“Am I?”

Wolfwood stands slowly, brushing beads of sand off him as he does so. You try to keep your eyes on his face, on the slope of his nose, the dimples on his cheeks, but they wander anyway, along his broad shoulders, down his tiny waist. You’ll miss him when this is over, you decide.

“Wanna dance?” he asks suddenly. The question throws you off kilter. How long has it been since you’ve done something so mundane? Will you even remember how? Is it appropriate to dance given what tomorrow may bring?

“What about-”

“Needle-noggin and the lot are out like a light. No one will notice if we steal a few minutes for ourselves.”

He closes the gap between the two of you and links his right hand with yours, fingers interlocking. His hands are large and calloused from lugging around that heavy gun of his. Briefly, you wonder just how strong the guy really is.

 “But there isn’t any music,” you protest weakly. Wolfwood is frustratingly good at sapping away your resolve.

“Don’t need any. We’ll make our own,” he insists, slipping an arm around the small of your back and pressing you close, closer, and closer still.

This close to him, you can see deep into his eyes. There’s fear in them. Sadness too. He’s trying and failing to mask the emotions with a smile, with this dance. It must be so exhausting, you think, always having to pretend.

“One dance,” you surrender, relaxing into his embrace. He smells sharply of tobacco and nicotine, though you note hints of something a bit earthier underneath. Sweat, probably. It’s been a while since any of you have showered. “Then bed. Unlike you and Vash, some of us need our beauty sleep.”

A lopsided grin swims across his handsome face.

 “Aw, think I’m beautiful, sweetheart? That’s nice.”

There’s a biting remark on the tip of your tongue that never fully forms. Yeah, actually, you do think he’s beautiful. You’ve thought so ever since Meryl slammed the news van into him all those months ago. The impact should have killed him—it would’ve killed you—but Wolfwood simply rose up from the sand as if rising from an interrupted slumber. Beautiful, even with rivulets of blood trickling down his face.

“Shut up,” you hiss, cheeks heating as you think a bit too intensely about his sturdy body which is now pressed flush against your own. Has Wolfwood always been this tall? This large? His giant frame engulfs you as the two of you sway together, in tandem with Wolfwood’s quiet humming.

You rest your head against his sternum, listening to the sound of his heart beating quick and urgent like the wings of a bird. His chest vibrates as he hums his tune. You can’t seem to place the song. Likely, he’s making it up as he goes, the tempo slow and somber like a dirge.

“Where’d you learn to dance?” you ask him, conscious of the way your two left feet have nearly tripped him up twice. Lucky for you both he’s not just a hulking lump of muscle. He’s got a great center of balance too.

You chalk your awkwardness up to the loose, shifting sands and not to the odd sensation forming in the pit of your stomach. More unfamiliar than unpleasant. You swallow a few times in an attempt to settle it.

Wolfwood shrugs, spinning the two of you round and round in circles. “It’s not all that different than fighting.”

There’s truth to that, you suppose, remembering the fight on the Sandsteamer. Wolfwood refused to talk about the stranger you all watched disappear into the open maw of the sand ocean, but it was obvious the man once meant something to him.

“You’re thinking too much,” he says. “Just follow my lead.”

So you do. You let him whirl you around the desert dunes for what feels like hours, grinning up at him through thick lashes when you manage to step on his toes. Again. He laughs, a little too loudly, and you have to remind him that if he’s not careful he’ll wake your sleeping companions.

“What are you going to do if everything goes well tomorrow?”

For the first time all night, it’s Wolfwood who stumbles. The misstep is small, slight, if you weren’t so entangled, you may have missed it, but you are entangled so you feel everything. You feel his feet stall as the question leaves your lips. You feel the rise and fall of his belly as he takes a deep steadying breath.   

His hand travels up the length of your spine, coming to rest at the nape of your neck. He thumbs across your vertebrae and you recognize the ministration for what it is: a silent plea for you to let the topic drop and just enjoy this moment the two of you managed to carve out for yourselves amidst all the chaos of the world.

You let your head drop once more, tucking it beneath his collarbone, right above his heart, still rabbiting in his chest. He isn’t humming anymore. There’s nothing to help the two of you keep time as you continue to sway together, now gliding across the sand like worms.

Around you, the clouds begin to clear and bright, twinkling stars start to peek out from behind them. A soft breeze kicks up around you, and the sand particles scatter with it. Wolfwood—Nicholas—keeps you pressed against him as the temperature mercifully begins to drop.

Your mind still wanders from time to time, curious what tomorrow may bring.

Who cares, you decide. It doesn’t matter.

Tonight, you’re content to dance.

[aquariitheorchid]

Knives and his characterization in Trigun Stampede.

Im yapping again...

OKAY! so. I've seen a lot of people across several platforms talk about Knives and his characterization across the several mediums that Trigun is involved in. I want to throw my two cents in.

THIS IS STRICTLY A TRIGUN STAMPEDE VIEW. I have some, not a lot, of knowledge about Knives in Trigun Maximum.

There's a very, very clear difference between the two Knives' in TriStamp/Stargaze and Trigun Maximum. In my interpretation of these characters, I think it's mostly about how others tell his story. Everything we see about him is from another's point of view.

I haven't read TriMax yet. I'm currently waiting for the deluxe versions to come out. So, I'll make an update post once I do and another one when Trigun Stargaze comes out.

What I'm yapping about will focus on Knives' interpretation in Trigun Stampede. I will say that they are two different characters. What I think the producers and directors are trying to do is show us how Knives could be a dynamic character or at least as the potential to be one. (if they don't fumble...)

The plot in Trigun Stampede is driven by and shown to the viewers by Meryl. She is the viewer's eyes into this world. She finds and interviews Vash in the dinner, her and Roberto drive Vash across the desert after the events of Jenora Rock. She hits Wolfwood with her car. She intervenes on the sandsteamer. Meryl and Roberto are kidnapped by Zazie then saved by Wolfwood and Vash, subsequently bringing Vash to Knives. Then she saves Vash by reminding him of Rem. She takes Milly on as a newbie.

Her actions direct the plot forward. We are shown this wonderful, fucked up and confusing world through her eyes. Eyes that have not seen the true nature of this world. Think Roberto's comment of Meryl's ivory tower. She is sheltered. Very much like the audience is. This all ties into the idea of perception. We are seeing this world though her eyes. Conflicts like Vash being a plant are revealed to her just as they are revealed to the audience. It's safe to assume that her interpretation is biased. Of course it is. Every view we get of this world is biased. This is introduced from early on with Meryl, then Roberto, then Wolfwood, then to Vash, and then to Knives

When it comes to Knives, we are introduced to him as a force of nature, a God of destruction. It's somewhat flat. This is intentional. In episode three, we are given A and B. A, a reason (his talk to Vash about taking the plant). B, a menacing appearance of an antagonist that seems very one dimensional. (He is here for the plant and to set the conflict of this story. That is what we are shown in this specific episode.)

His character doesn't develop further all that much when we are introduced to characters that work with or are devoted to him. The first real bit of deeper characterization we get about Knives is from Vash's memory of what happened on that plant carrier all those years ago. "Why would they choose this medium to introduce him?" is it to show his motives? Yes. It is absolutely this. Is it also to follow along with the theme of biases and point of view? Yep. This also extends to the soup/metaphorical SA scene in the final arc of this season. This point of view, all of these flashback scenes are biased because they are memories from Vash's perspective.

We are shown that Knives is hurt from what the humans are doing and uses aggression and violence to express this. This is shown with the last run and Tesla. Knives is afraid, he's scared for him and Vash's sake. Though he'll never admit this. To admit that would give power to the humans that have hurt him and them. I can imagine the result (the aggression and fear) of this would cause Vash (someone he's hurt) to question things about his character. This would then lead to the biased view we get.

We are not getting the full story from Vash's perspective. It's like someone telling their side of a story. We will never know the full story unless we are shown this. Everything in this story is biased, or at least up to this point. I can imagine Vash thinking, post getting his arm chopped of, "has Knives always been like this?" and that thought altering his memories. There's no way after 150 years he's gonna remember everything good about his brother, esspeically when he's hurt him time and time again. The bad will outshine the good.

The producers and minds behind this show have a chance to do something great with his character. They are setting him up as a pretty flat character, but I can see them taking his character and making it more dynamic with the idea that all point of view's are biased. ITS JUST I DON'T REALLY TRUST THE PRODUCERS TO DO JUSTICE TO THIS.

I have a decent number of issues with the producers and minds behind this version of Trigun already. From them liking incest art, to whitewashing Wolfwood, to not licensing Meryl merchandise, to getting rid of Wolfwood's goof( i do have hope for it returning in szn 2), to them getting rid of transgender Elendira and making her half-plant half-human, and to them getting rid of a lot of what people liked in the 98' series and TriMax. They're very much leaning heavily into tropes. I do blame some of this on what the studio is able to get away with in terms of representation. In the west, it's easier to do that sort of stuff, but not so much in Japan. it is of course, no excuse for them not doing this. I'm starting to lose hope in what direction they're going. I do have biases because Trigun Stampede is my first introduction into Trigun as a whole, but I'm starting to lose interest. I adore this show with a passion but GOD ITS LOOKING LIKE THEY'RE GONNA FUMBLE THIS. SEASON TWO BETTER SHOW SOME MORE LOVE TO THE INSURANCE GIRLS TOO.

[ashistired37]

Yes the nap was refreshing. Let's talk about what I think is going on with Erin!

So. Spoilers for 2-2-32!

sorry most of this is based on speculation but that's the fun of this! If you disagree or think there's something I missed I will very gladly read through it! I love theories even if they aren't mine feel free to share yours <3

Okay so I literally wrote a draft of my theory the night before so I'll summarise it.

Basically I think what's going on with Erin- atleast subconsciously is tied to the backstory theory I cooked up.

I think his soul was either very prone to elemental corruption or the elements were just too much for him to control.

I think maybe using one element like we've mostly seen him do was alright but using it for too long would cause problems. So using them would usually lead to him being bedridden or sick in some way.

Because of this he probably felt powerless in a way. Sure he could use all the elements but he can't do anything meaningful with them without injuring himself (or others depending on how out of control his powers were before the magic tats/seals)

I mean obviously he felt helpless when it comes to helping Tess. He was a child what could he say to his father to get through to him? We don't know much about his parents but from what we know his father was definitely a douche. We know Erin and Tess seem to like/respect their mother and she was probably a Soul mage but that's about it

I think the line about holding him back just meant Tess would TRY to stop him from overworking himself which probably came before the seals. Maybe he kept trying to make his magic work despite knowing how much of a toll it takes or even after he got the tattoos he probably wanted to feel useful now that he could actually use his powers safely. He had to.

This is why I think he's a good person to parallel Kendal. They're both trying to justify their existence by doing.

Kendal with saving Vash.

And Erin by solving problems.

Is it fair to him to assume he can do all that? No. This whole thing really reminds me of the first episode of I think justice league?

I know it was a DC animated show- where in the first episode they assign superman to protect the whole world and when people protest saying he doesn't have enough hands for that he reassures them he will take care of it.

Erin's kinda like Superman in this case- oh wow I never thought I'd say that. But you understand why I draw the comparison. They're both insanely powerful and taking on way more than they can in these instances.

Now I know I mostly used 2-2-30 and 31 but I had to use them so we can get to the 32 stuff.

Him saying no one can help him and that it always comes back yo him to carry the weight because nobody can catch him if he falls as hubouris it sounds it's also. Really fucking sad.

I think he probably had a lot of instances where people expected him to fix things because of how much power he has (probably his father or even fellow students of The academy but that's just a guess) so he internalised it.

"But Atlas didn't you say he probably feels like this because he feels the need to justify his existence so he doesn't feel as helpless?" yes. Because I think it's both. Things mixed together to create the awful storm that is Erin mc hubris pants.

On another tragic note he's been one of the core members for so long. Since like chapter 4-5. This guy has fought with atleast Alinua and Kendal for AWHILE now. He knows they can help but the one thing they can't help him get rid of or solve?

The dragon.

He's right. He's absolutely right but that's only if you think about directly helping. By directly getting rid of it. If you think about helping him more indirectly so he can get the help he needs? They've been doing that since they met him!

Obviously he's not thinking completely rationally if he was more level headed he could probably acknowledge this but I NEEDED to mention this.

I might add to this sometime but I am exhausted I'll see you after ANOTHER nap

[icyowl]

NOW! Hear me out yandere vash {maybe throw in knives as the second yandere because may the reader show him human kindness or something like that} with reader like at first it's like a strange feeling to vash like ick but it started getting worse and worsening by time he know it his overprotective & possessive/obsessive over the reader and the rest is to you {And to throw in more drama to the flame make the reader related wolfwood so we have overprotective big brother! 👍} {+F!reader before I forget}

what's up!!

Now, yandere isn't my thing really..... but eh, who cares! Might as well get out of my box now and again:

Vash:

first are the thoughts. Like, he's thinking about you at all hours of the day. Food -- would you like if he got some for you? Sleep -- how are you sleeping? Are you cold or alone? Even in battle when he should be worrying about himself or others, he's only like where is she is she safe what if someone kidnaps her or takes her hostage I gotta find her help I'm fighting three bounty hunters and can't focus

At first he's a little put off because he has other things on his mind: his brother, saving the world, and staying alive, he doesn't have time for wandering thoughts. And like, why you? What is it about you that's special to him? why does he care what he does around you, or how he looks? Why is he insisting you put your tent next to his? Why does he want to offer the last bit of his food to make sure you're full? Why does he feel like he needs to see if his hair is the right kind of messy in any mirror he can find?

All it took was one time for you to wear his coat and do the dinosaur arms as a joke and Vash is gone. Now he does whatever he can to get and keep you in it: are you cold? You look cold, take my coat. It's sunny out, you should wear it to keep from getting sunburned. It restricts me, here, hold onto it for me. Oh, but I think you look so good in red. He daydreams about you in his coat. Maybe in only his coat.

It makes him feel like he's somehow got you wrapped up under his protection even if it's not really him exactly. Protective instincts go bbrrrrrrr

What was once a silly little quirk he had toward you has developed into a borderline problem. By now, he goes absolute gunslinger mode whenever someone tries to hurt you. He's pistol-whipping a guy across the face or shooting their weapon out of their hand before they can flinch or, if things get really spicy, he's even shoved the barrel into the mouth of a few guys, asking them to beg and swallow

And as Wolfwood's little sister, you bet your booty Nick and Vash are at each other's throats usually. Nick is being protective, but he also is genuinely creeped out by the way Vash looks at you. . . like he wants to devour you. More than once Vash has gotten on his last nerve and suddenly there's a six-foot-tall cross-shaped Gatling gun stabbed into the ground between you and Vash as some kind of barrier. Want a few extra holes, needle-noggin?

You've been the one unsullied thing in Nick's twisted, disgraceful life and he ain't about to let you out of his sight any time soon.

The one time they reconcile their differences is if someone manages to mess with you. Then it's on sight: Nick's got the high ground, Vash has the low ground, and suddenly the perpetrator-turned-victim has a gun to both his head and his kneecaps, or, if he's especially smarmy, right on his unmentionables. Their teamwork is breathtaking when they try.

You're the only one that can get them to back off or chill out, whether it be to strangers or each other. Occasionally Vash is so devoted and Nick is so belligerent that they end up in a flurry of fists and kicks in the sand, but in the end, they know when it comes down to it, they can rely on each other when it comes to you.

Kni

I'm not much into Kni, but I'll do my best

Doesn't like when you call him Knives. Everyone else has to, but you? NO. Kni is Kni is Kni, not Knives or Millions or psycho or anything else.

You get free reign of the entire complex. Ultimate security clearance.

Everyone knows not to step on your toes or Kni will see to it they aren't a problem for you anymore.

One time, you get roughed up by some underling and end up flat on your stomach on the ground. You try to get up, to fight back, but suddenly several bladed whips have dug into the ground around you, caging you in and protecting you from harm. You look over your shoulder to see Kni, positively bristling with anger.

Loves to run his knife-whip-things over your body. He'd never hurt you with them, he just likes touching you; using his own hands and arms feels too human.

Yeah. That's what I got. Hope you like!

[triplesilverstar]

Day 24

Rating: Explicit 18+ Minors DNI

Pairing: Beastman Bull Knives X F!Reader 

CW:  Bad pick up lines, Drinking, bad flirting, grinding, wall sex, Penis in vagina sex, breeding kink, dirty talk

Word count: 3294

A/N: Day 24, You went to the bar because of a rumor about two bull beastmen working at a cowboy themed one. Maybe you’ll get lucky and get to ride one of them.

When you heard about the bar you had to laugh, sure beastmen weren’t that uncommon anymore and society was still sort of adjusting to them. There would always be some bigots in the world, but, to hear about a western bar that had two bull beastmen working the bar? Yea right. There were tropes and then there were tropes. 

You’d even made a bet with one of your friends, and upon entering the door you were out twenty bucks. 

Stood right behind the bar were the two bull beastmen, and you had to admit they were both pretty cute. Blond hair, pretty blue eyes that were different shades, with their cow ears twitching and black horns sticking out of their heads. With the way they were dressed, it was easy to tell they were well paid to be behind the bar. One of them even had a tag clipped to his ear and a collar with a bell attached like he was a cow instead of a bull. 

His skin tight black shirt wasn’t helping either, showing off a very nice built body, at the bar it didn’t take you long to learn they were twins. The smaller of the two seemed far more friendly as he served drinks, or maybe he was better at getting tips then his twin.

You’d learned their names were Vash and Kni, and you’d had to turn away to keep from snorting upon hearing the name Vash. Sure, your french was rusty but what kind of cruel parent names one of their kids that happens to be a beastman bull, a name that sounds a lot like vache, the french word for cow?

As the night wore on you found yourself watching the more built twin from the corner of your eye, damn he was handsome, and something about those glacial eyes made you horny beyond belief. Swallowing your shot you deadpanned “I’m gonna ask what it takes to ride that bull.” Met by groans of disbelief from your friends, but you aren’t deterred. 

As you order a beer and Kni hands it to you after you pay you raise an eyebrow “you look like a bull made for the rodeo, how about we see how long it takes you to buck me off?” 

Kni raises an eyebrow in return “funny. You look more like a clown than a cowboy, but then again.” Leaning across the bar to whisper low in your ear “the cowboys are smart enough to know to start on top before they get in the ring.” 

Well. It’s not a flat out no. You get the feeling he’s heard similar lines before and is used to sending people like you off in a flushed mess. “Every clown has to start somewhere. Besides, maybe I’m the kinda gal who just likes it bareback.” 

That gets you a snort “bareback is for horses. Not bulls. I guess you are a clown then.” There is a hint of a smile on his face now, and you think he might be enjoying himself. Leaning back behind the bar, watching to see if any of the other patrons are looking for a drink.

“Maybe. Or maybe I’ve never been shown the time of my life before?” Taking a swig of your beer and watching that smile grow into a grin. 

“Alright. I’ll make you a deal” hanging on his every word as he leans across the bar again pointing at a mechanical bull. “Make it for three minutes and I’ll let you take me home.” 

Licking your lips you look him up and down, “and if I can’t make it?” 

He just shrugs, nodding as he’s flagged down by another patron at the bar “guess you’ll prove you’re the clown.” 

That leaves you laughing, heading towards it and looking for the guy who operates it. The bar thankfully doesn’t go silent as people try the mechanical bull, otherwise the first time when it starts up and you’re thrown right away you would have been beyond embarrassed. 

The second time, you fare a little better getting to thirty three seconds before being thrown and landing on your face near the padded floor. You aren’t a quitter though, told for liability sake you get a third chance but that’s it. Breathing deep you try to relax, if it’s like a horse it makes more sense to try and just let it move you instead of fighting. 

This time you’re laughing as the bull bucks and turns, feeling parts of your stomach being left behind and you think based on how long you’ve held on for you made it when you’re finally thrown off. Looking at the timer you feel your face fall, one minute fifty nine seconds. You had another full minute to go, a hand clapped to your back from the worker telling you good try. Heading back to the bar you notice Kni watching and you simply shrug your shoulders “looks like I’m the clown after all. Thanks for being a good sport with the flirting, guess I’ll go hang my head in shame.” Reaching across the bar to give him a handshake after admitting defeat. 

Feeling your eyebrows furrow when he presses something into your hand “maybe next time.” He agrees, grinning at you. Once you’re back at the table with your friends who are laughing at you, you look at the item he’d passed you. 

I’m off in an hour if you want that riding lesson.

His little message has a number scratched beside it, pulling out your phone and sending it a text, watching Kni pick up his own from the bar and looking out over the crowd. Once his eyes are on you he winks, and sends a wink emoji to your phone before putting it back in his pocket. 

An hour later you come up with an excuse telling your friends you’re sore from being thrown off the mechanical bull. Being told it serves you right for trying to flirt like that, and once outside you see him leaning against the side of the building with a hat and jacket to hide his work outfit. “Ready for that riding lesson?” A smirk across his face and you don’t need to worry about the chill in the air with how warm you are both from the booze running in your system and growing in your core.

“You betcha.” A smirk of your own firmly in place, watching him push himself off from the wall, and without the bar in the way you see his tail twitching. “So. Thought I wasn’t gonna get to take you home unless I made it to three minutes.” You question following his steps as he heads down the sidewalk. You were curious when he gave you the note, having expected that to be the end of it. 

“Sure. I didn’t tell you I was gonna take you home if you made it two. One second short was close enough. Honestly, most give up after they get thrown the first time, so you might have piqued my interest.” You laugh, throwing your head back following behind him, making comments as the two of you walk. 

Ten minutes later and you’re outside his apartment door, waiting and watching that tail of his twitch again while he unlocks the door. Once open he’s waving you inside “nice place you g-” as the door clicks closed and he locks it you find yourself up in the air and his mouth on yours as he slams you against the door his hands kneading your ass. Moaning your hands grasping his shoulders as the two of you are quick to deepen the kiss, hoping you don’t taste too much like all the liquor you’ve drank tonight. 

While you’re making out, your hands start to wander pressing and pinching against his skin, breaking from the kiss when your fingers hit the cow bell attached to the collar he’s still wearing. Looking at and realizing he’s staring at you, lust reflecting clear in those ice blue eyes “right. Riding lesson.” It’s muttered against the skin of your chin like he’d forgotten about it, keeping you in the air as he heads for his bedroom. You don’t miss the way he holds you up, braced under one arm so his hand can wander along your backside giving it a few pinches. You use the time to tease the skin of his neck not hidden away by his shirt or the collar, licking and leaving small hickies in the wake of your sucking. Hands reaching up to rub at the horns atop his head giving them the lightest of tugs, and this time he’s the one laughing. 

“I can’t feel anything when you grab them.” Pausing in his groping of your skin to push the door open, making sure when his hand lands on your back once more he’s pushing you forward so you’re rubbing against his front. And damn. From what you can feel he has to be hung like a horse. Or in this case a bull. “Something tells me you’re far more interested in that part of me instead of my horns however.” 

“In my defense, the rest of you is pretty cute too.” Punctuating your words by pressing a quick kiss just under his earlobe before blowing on the sensitive skin, watching as it bends and twists trying to get away from the air blowing against it. 

Giving your ass a squeeze before pressing your back against the wall and using his hips to keep you pressed against him he grins, looking down at you “you won’t find it cute when you can’t walk tomorrow.” Sliding one of his hands under your shirt to start to fondle at one of your breasts, fingertips calloused sending a line of fire straight to your core. His other hand repositioning your legs so your pussy is pressed against the wide expanse of his upper thigh now, toes just pressing to the floor. “Time to start that lesson. You need to have good balance when riding a bull.” Starting to undulate his leg so you’re almost bouncing on his thigh, the friction delectable, a small moan leaving you as your arms grip his shoulders for balance. “Yea. Just like that.” 

He keeps you on his thigh for a while, his hand occasionally reaching down to press against your clothed core, all while playing with the nipple of your breast working it to a hardened nub. “I think it’s time we lose some layers.” Pulling both of his hands from your body and with a roll of his shoulders his jacket is falling to the floor, you expect his shirt to follow, instead he’s undoing his belt and leaving it unfastened before reaching for your own shirt. “If that’s alright with you.”

“Oh fuck yea.” Helping him to pull the fabric above your head before going back to grinding on his body. Your torso just covered by your bra now has him licking his lips, shifting the fabric of the cups of your overflowing skin from the band and starting to play with the other nipple. 

“The next part of the lesson is learning when you need to take the reins.” Sliding one of his hands along his chest before dipping down to his abs “if you get my meaning?” You certainly do, rolling your hips and letting your hands fly to his pants, undoing the button and pulling the zipper down fast enough you’re certain you hear the teeth snapping. The bulge in his pants is more obvious now, dipping a hand inside the band of his boxers and grasping him. Thick enough you can’t get your fingers to meet as you wrap around him, hearing a grunt pass his lips. “Quick learner.” 

Moving your hand down to his tip and giving it a light squeeze you grin “maybe I should slow down. Being a poor student might get me more lessons.” Gasping as you finish speaking, feeling him pinch your nipple and sucking on your lower lip before biting it just hard enough to make the skin swell. Lapping at it afterwards and humming. 

“We’ll see how well you can listen before I offer a second lesson” grinning against your lips as he dips one of his hands down to where the waistband of your own pants, watching your eyes to see if you want to keep going. Nodding for him to continue, catching his mouth for a deeper kiss, letting his wide tongue press into your mouth and sweeping into the nooks and crannies. Hearing the snap of your pants being loosened and a warm hand pushing your own underwear out of the way to fondle your folds, your grinding coming to a halt at something pressing more actively against you. “A rather important lesson in riding is the importance of protection.” Whining as he pulls away from your body, letting your feet land flat on the floor and removing your hand from his pants. 

Digging in a drawer near his bedside table watching you with hooded eyes “want the next part of the lesson against the wall or on the bed?” Pushing the front of his pants and underwear down so both are hanging just under his heavy looking balls, ripping the package open before sliding the condom on his throbbing cock. 

Swallowing you grin, dropping your pants and underwear to the floor but otherwise not moving “wall.” 

Striding towards you with sure steps, and letting his hands trace your sides before grasping your hips and starting to lift you off the floor. Your own hands moving to grip his shoulders again. “This part is real important, you need to make sure you’ve got the bull right where you want them before taking your seat and mount them.” Watching him you swallow, one of you hands trailing down his cloth covered chest before reaching down for his cock between the two of you. Even through the condom his skin feels like it’s burning up, lining his head up with your pussy but not before giving your clit a few taps. “Last chance to back out.” 

He’s watching you for any sign you don’t want this “I want this.” Sliding the hand still on his shoulder to grip his short blond hair and kissing him, like your life depends on it. Gasping against his lips as he starts to penetrate you, the blunt tip of his cock stretching you wide, taking his time to work your pussy open and you’re glad for all the foreplay. You aren’t sure you would have been able to take him otherwise. A symphony of pants, moans and groans rending the air until at last he’s as deep inside of you as he can be at this angle. Tilting his head against your forehead and looking down at where you’re joined, the sound of his cowbell jingling odd. 

Ears twitching while he seems content at the moment to keep his eyes on the space between your legs that his length is nestled in. “We haven’t even started the lesson in earnest and you feel like you wanna milk me dry.” 

All you can feel are your walls spasming around him, the veins of his cock pulsing almost in time with your own racing heartbeat. “Thought bulls didn’t produce milk?” Teasing through your pants and watching his eyes darken. 

“This one does, as long as you know how to get it.” Kissing you again, waiting for the clenching of your walls to slow, giving both of your breasts a tight squeeze, his hands easily covering your soft mounds. “Final part of the lesson before we get going, as much as the bull might not feel it, that old adage about grabbing the bull by the horns in a good one. When you wanna put what I’ve told you to use, grab em.” The words are barely out of his mouth before you’re doing just that, gripping his horn and starting to move your hips so he’s thrusting in and out of you at the shallow angle you can manage.

“Hang on tight, because this bull is about to wreck you.” 

Grabbing your hips he starts to slam inside of you, bucking his hips with one goal in mind, making you orgasm around him. Damn. You can feel sweat starting to bead against your back and he doesn’t even look fazed doing all the work, using the wall behind the two of you so he can set a brutal pace, every thrust going from tip to base. A new orchestra is starting to play, the sounds of skin slapping skin, the occasional moan breaking through while he makes your body bend to him. 

“Fuck” moaning as your eyes start to roll into the back of your head, Kni biting your ear to bring you back to your senses having felt your grip on his horns loosen. 

“You’re not a clown or a cowboy are you?” You shake your head in the negative, to fucked out of it as your orgasm grows closer and closer. Dragging his teeth down along the skin of your neck. “I guess that makes you a cute little cow. In that case, moo for me little cow.” 

You don’t know why but the sound of his request has you clenching harder around him, you hadn’t thought you had a bit of degradation kink before now. “Mooo” practically moaned in his ear, and his hips are somehow moving even faster now. 

“Good little cow. This bull is gonna pound you all night long, fill this little cow pussy with cum.” You let out another moo noise as you orgasm, hearing it turn into a moan as you lose some control of your body as it relaxes. “You like that don’t you? Maybe I’ll put my calf in you, make you my cow forever.” Almost screaming as your second orgasm rips through you, his dirty talk making your head spin while his cock is pistoning inside of you with enough force you know you’ll be bruised. His mouth catching yours for a searing kiss as a third orgasm follows right behind the second.

“Too much” panting against his lips, connected to yours by a thin line of saliva his pale blue eyes almost glowing as he stops, keeping his cock buried to the hilt inside you. 

“You wanna stop or take a break?” His voice is hoarse but he’s listening to you, nuzzling his nose under your ear as he speaks.

“Break.” Because damn, if he can do that without breaking a sweat what else can he do?

“Don’t worry about the calf thing.” Watching him swallow, a light blush on his face “I’ve got lots of condoms. It's kind of a bull thing having a breeding kink and well, talking about it.” You nod, resting your head against his shoulder while you catch your breath. 

“Dirty talk is fine.” Panting still as your skin starts to cool “besides. Maybe I do want a calf.” Feeling how he pulsates inside of you hearing those words you grin. 

“In that case.” Hand on your throat and tilting your head upwards “got milk?” Pressing his lips to yours again, waiting for you to signal you’re ready to continue. 

The next day you can barely walk, having gone through an entire pack of condoms with Kni before calling it quits. At your own home you pull out your phone to tell him you made it safely as he asked, a look of concern on his face when you left mid morning. Hearing the ding of a notification you flick it open.

Laughing at his answer.

Remember 

That offer for a second lesson is an open invitation

You need the help 

Back to list

[gffa]

What is trigun stampede even about

At its heart, Trigun Stampede about the conflict between love/pacifism and rage/retribution, set between two twin non-human brothers who love each other but diverge because of this conflict, even as they desperately want to pull the other back to them, with a mix of various other characters coming along for the ride. When future humanity creates a new type of lifeform called Plants, beings that are connected to a higher dimension's energy source which allows them to be used to create food/water/air/etc., humanity is not exactly great about this. Some people are kind and compassionate, some are horrifically abusive, uncaring of the hurt they're causing. The only two sentient Plants of the series are the twins--Millions Knives and Vash the Stampede--and when they discover what the humans are really doing, Knives crashes humanity's ships onto a desert planet with no resources, where they will truly die without the Plants to create food and water for them. Vash believes they can find a way to live together with the humans, he sees the best in them. Knives thinks they should all die for how they use Plants up until they die, for how they experiment on Plants, for how they attack anything that they're afraid of. (It's very much a "the villain really kind of has a point, but takes it way too far, but you can kind of understand how he got there, especially depending on how much pain Plants are capable of feeling, not that we know the answer to that" kind of set-up.) Their conflict (not that Vash wants a conflict, but Knives isn't going to stop stealing back all the Plants the humans have taken, killing anyone who gets in his way) plays out across the entirety of the desert world, with Vash basically unable to go anywhere without some kind of trouble coming down on his head (whether through his own Plant abilities being necessary, bad luck, or Knives stealing back a Plant) and this weighs on Vash's soul like a ton of bricks. Vash tries really hard to keep up the appearance of being the local sillyman, but babygirl has the biggest case of depression you've ever seen, because he can't stop people from being hurt, he can't stop his twin from hurting people, he can't stop all the conflict going on around him, he can't save everyone, no matter how hard he tries, no matter how many pieces of himself he loses along the way. But neither can he just sit things out, because he's a Plant, he's stronger and faster and more powerful than any human, he has to at least try. Try to save them, try to reach his twin. What makes it all worse is that, underneath everything else, Knives is doing this for Vash. Oh, he's definitely not doing what Vash would want and I don't mean to make Knives sound soft or kind or nice, he's manipulative and awful, but I do genuinely believe that his motivation under all of it is to build a better world for Vash, one that doesn't have humans, one that only has Plants. It has some really beautiful animation, some great humor, some really excellent side characters, some badass fight scenes, some fascinating worldbuilding, but primarily I am here for the conflict between "we can live together" versus "the humans have and will continue to kill us if I don't do something" overlaid with how they both desperately want the other to come around to their side. Also, it's basically a Space Western with scifi elements and it's great.

[makima-s-most-smile]

Trigun Maximum 10.4

It is time…

Trigun Ultimate: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 2.3, 2.4 Trigun Maximum: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 3.1, 3.2, 4.1, 4.2, 5.1, 5.2, 6.1, 6.2, 7.1, 7.2, 8.1, 8.2, 8.3, 9.1, 9.2, 10.1, 10.2, 10.3, 10.4, 10.5

07: Wolfwood

Farewell, my friend. 

Fitting, that we do not see Wolfwood here, but little Nicholas. Because in the end even though he was aged up and tortured, this child remained in him. This is his true self. The lost little boy that felt himself as a burden to all and that shouldered the responsibility of the wellbeing of the place he loved most. The lost little boy that cared too much in a world that cares too little. The morals of this little kid made Wolfwood the man he is today, through all the torture and everything, they persevered. This is the best of humanity.

Wolfwood has been an awkward idiot even in childhood. He cannot deal with open affection and becomes shy. It is sad and cute at the same time.

Is that a young Chapel? How much did he age in those six years? Damn!

The tricks the cult used to get children. It was a trap and it got Wolfwood. He left to become a tradesman… And a tradesman he did become, just not the kind of tradesman everyone imagined. Wolfwood was a great brother to many and they loved him.

Even if confetti is selfmade, we know they didn't have much ressources there. It surely was not cheap to produce it, even if it was selfmade.

How old does Wolfwood look there, maybe 10? Maybe even younger. The timeline is really not something we should look to close up. Nightow went by vibes, that’s all we need to know.

Like I said so often, the orphanage is Wolfwood’s paradise. The place where he was fed, could sleep and felt safe. He didn’t require anything more and that says much about his living situation beforehand. Much like Rem for Vash, it is an ideal for Wolfwood, a perfect place, something that has to be protected from the reality of the world. This ideal has been his saving grace. It made him survive not only Chapel and the torture, but it gave him reason to go on when his guilt became too much. If Wolfwood is truly devoted to something, it is this.

Wolfwood’s sorrowful eyes… He looks younger here. And softer. The softest Wolfwood we have ever seen. Close behind the Wolfwood that let down his guard the night before he brought Vash to the ark and they relaxed a last time together.

Even after all he did and all he accomplished, Wolfwood feels undeserving for any forgiveness or any welcome. If Chapel has achieved anything then it is that Wolfwood truly has no self love. Wolfwood was hypercritical with himself before the cult got his clutches around him, but I have no doubt that the things he went through have worsened his self worth massively.

He wants to be kept in memory as the innocent, but responsible, big brother Nico and not the bloodied gunman he has become. He wants to keep their innocence and the illusion that somewhere their beloved big brother is still out there. He wants to protect them one last time, this time from the grief that comes with his death.

But, Wolfwood is a complex character. If the kiddos knew, would they really go away that easily? Wouldn’t they try to make him come with them? Being either forced to watch Wolfwood die on the way to Home or having to see Wolfwood breaking down, because he cannot keep up the masquerade anymore. He cannot be vulnerable, especially not in his last moments.

I wish we would get more info, does Wolfwood chose to stay because he knows he would not get to the main ship for help/he knows that his body breaking apart is not treatable or has he ‘just’ given up. I think it is the first, I just wish for some hard facts. But neither of the two lovely calamities left are really able to talk directly about the elephant in the room. Vash is so desperate.

By not addressing that Wolfwood is actively dying, by trying to push Wolfwood to leave with the others, they both avoid one thing… The helplessness. This is Wolfwood’s choice, so it is okay, so it is bearable.

There is one really big headcannon that I have for the case that either Wolfwood decided to stay there even though there may have been a possibility to save Wolfwood or that Vash may have been able to heal Wolfwood with or without a cost of his lifespan, but Wolfwood denied either of it. And it boils down back to agency. Vash is so much about having none/giving others the full agency, that he cannot force Wolfwood to do something he either doesn’t have the energy to or doesn’t want to due to the cost. Not only is that one of Vash’ biggest modus operandi, reacting instead of acting, but here it is something more. It is about Wolfwood’s agency. By now it is absolutely clear that the only true choice Wolfwood had in his life was to die for the things he loved or lose himself. Vash cannot rob Wolfwood of his agency. Not when he finally regained some in his last moments. (That said, I do not judge any peeps who use Vash overriding Wolfwood’s wants and healing him or bringing him to safety. One of my most favourite breaks-my-heart-art piece is the one where Wolfwood awakes with golden hair on the couch, because Vash has given him all his life. And Vash sits lifeless next to him. I have so many feels about that one.(by popular request a link to the pic, damn had I dive deep into my bookmarks))

Neither of them really talk to each other. But from what they know of each other, it says more than words. Wolfwood, stressing that he is a gun-ho-gun, a killer, an assassin and a traitor to Vash, even seemingly proving it with the coins, Wolfwood wants to keep Vash from grieving. Vash does not need to grieve for Wolfwood. Wolfwood is a shitty person. There is no last-minute discussion to be made about it. Vash accepts the plea behind it. He disagrees with Wolfwood. But he helps Wolfwood to keep the illusion up that they aren’t that close, that Wolfwood doesn’t need to feel sorrow for leaving Vash, because their connection is not real. They both comfort each other by not talking about it.

Personally, I am so sad, that even in his death, Wolfwood is all about others, about lessening the pain that comes with it, that he cannot be vulnerable and just grieve his future. I am sad for Vash, too, but Vash will live on, for the better and worse.

That’s… Wolfwood had no goals for himself. He has always been the protector. He never imagined a future beyond that. He had his purpose and that has been fulfilled. Not completely, since Knives is still there, but he has done all he could. He has done what a human could do. And I understand that Wolfwood cannot regret his decision. It is too intrinsically intertwined with his identity and self-perception.

And again, Wolfwood cannot bear vulnerability. Neither can Vash. Which ends in this silly exchange. But, truly, if Vash didn’t react that way, I believe both would have broken down.

The last time? The last time was when Vash got drunk in the bar with the two outsiders and Wolfwood was persuaded by the nice granny to let his guard down and drink a glass, too. It was the talk where One-Eye stressed that “you’ll always end up alone and be alone.” Damn…

Birbs. Nicholas can finally enjoy his freedom. For a moment at least. For a moment he is free like a bird. The struggle is over. He is already dead. There is nothing to fight for him anymore.

It confused me. This sentence at the moment. Two possible interpretations for me: 1. Wolfwood still tries to fake more distance between them to make it hurt less and/or 2. Wolfwood truly wishes for a future for Vash in which he can smile with a full heart.

But even Wolfwood cannot hold the soft feelings in. Not all of Vash’ smiles were empty. Many smiles that Wolfwood saw and/or caused were real ones. I read this as Wolfwood trying to tell Vash that he knows that he was someone important to Vash. And now Vash cannot bear it. Because he is about to lose Wolfwood forever. 

(What ruins the mood a bit for me is that I cannot not laugh at the funky pose of Wolfwood. He really was like: I am a twister!)

This is the first time I saw Brad in the background. He must think they are all crazy! He doesn’t know.

Wolfwood always had a home. They love him. They accept him as he is. They know that the bloodied man is their beloved big brother. Wolfwood can pass with the knowledge that he is accepted into paradise with bloodied hands and all.

Wolfwood cries. The man that so stoically had been in control of himself, that has been so incredibly avoidant of even an ounce of vulnerability, cries openly. Most likely for the first time in years. We have never seen him cry in the manga, we have seen him in shock, in despair, we have seen him shout out in pain, but he never cried.

And with that realisation… I cannot say how to interpret this scene. Comes the realisation of this love with a wave of grief because he cannot be with them, that he has no future to enjoy together, that he loves them and cannot tell them? Is it a last surge against the inevitable? A cry for mercy to the absent God? Does he wish to stay with Vash and his family?

And his bell tolls. Wolfwood has died.

I do not believe that Wolfwood would regret his choice. He fulfilled his life goal. He may regret leaving Vash, he may regret not having had a future or more time. But the one thing he can be sure of is that Vash will take over his burden and fight for their future. They are not defenseless. He can rest. For me, the smile does not mean he died happy or without any regrets. But he died not alone. And that is enough for him.

And Vash stays, again. Vash avoided any real connection to humans. Even those he called his family always felt artificial for me. Wolfwood was the first human since Rem that got under Vash' walls and got into his heart. And I truly believe that other than with Rem, with Wolfwood Vash sometimes wasn't aware of the for Vash so obvious difference between plants and humans.

Wolfwood’s death… My feelings are divided and are all over the place. It is handled with such care and the consequences of his death are felt so deeply through the narrative, to which I say more in a later volume. He wasn’t alone, he was with his best friend. He didn’t die in a fight, but out of it at a place he could choose. And even better, he got a very clear message that his family loves him, even if he cannot do it himself. It is one of the most peaceful deaths imaginable for this pained soul.

But at the same time, it is so unfair! Wolfwood sacrificed his whole life for the safety of innocents, he bloodied his hands again and again and endured so much and all he got was a death that wasn’t the worst. He got the knowledge that he is welcome home. He gets the knowledge that his loved ones are safe for now and that his friend will try his best to keep it that way. But he never gets to experience it truly. He never gets to enjoy the fruits of his labour. He didn’t want much. He didn’t even really dream of anything. But if he could have a place to rest, to eat and to be safe, he wouldn’t want more. 

I think part of my reaction stems from me being from an individualistic society. We learn that you put the work in and receive your reward, that selfless behaviour gains you a reward. Look no further than the fairy tales that are used to teach Europeans like me morals, The Star Money is one that fits this idea. But Wolfwood as a person did not get a personal, selfish reward. He got death. And that makes it so painful. His death wasn’t for nothing, but his life feels so cut short. He just started the path of forgiving himself. He just realised that he wasn’t alone anymore. His development was not at an end. But what Nightow wanted to say with him in the story was. The difference between the narrative and the character. And that is upsetting, while still being completely okay.

Taking in consideration that Nightow comes from a collectivist society, I feel that the outcome that Wolfwood was able to save his home, his group, even at the cost of his life, is meaningful in a way I may not completely get. Wolfwood will live on, in the actions and life of the people he saved, he will live on in Livio, he will live on in Vash. But I see the abused kid that could not be saved. The abused kid that protected others because he wasn’t protected. That is the tragedy for me. 

Maybe, adding to that, on a personal note, I am a Millennial. The world that was promised to me was built up on lies and is crumbling under the greed of a few people. But media says it is my generation's fault for *looks at today’s paper* eating avocado instead of diamonds. Parents being absent due to work, being alone and self reliant, maybe the oldest kid that has to take care of the siblings instead of the parents, those things were more a normal state than a rare occurrence, when I was young. With the wars, the crash from ‘08 and the shit that came after it, the existential dread is real and the hopelessness, too. I can only try to lessen the impact for the people who come after me and try my best to endure. And Wolfwood’s whole character vibes with my experience. And on this personal note, that the character who cared so much and tried so hard could not be saved… I want hope. I need hope. In this day and age more than ever.

08: Final Parting

What’s more to say? It is final. In spite of all of his powers, Vash was unable to save Wolfwood’s life, even though he was able to protect Wolfwood’s treasure and was a big part of Wolfwood freeing himself out of the cage that Chapel put him in. It’s just so damn tragic that after all he has been through, his freedom lies in the way he was able to part.

The denial, the looming panic and then Vash laying out the facts, short, precisely and with a deadpan face. This scene is just so... It hurts. Wolfwood's death is final. It drives it home.

There is not a small part in Vash that may despise Livio right now. It won’t keep. From Vash’ perspective, Wolfwood entrusted Livio and the whole orphanage to him, the future as a whole, but especially the future of his loved ones. 

Razlo has been a brat, but Livio seems also extremely young. I do not think he ever truly believed Wolfwood would truly die and only now he starts to understand how much Wolfwood sacrificed to get Livio out of Chapel’s claws.

Vash not only protected Wolfwood’s body and Livio’s life, he protected the whole orphanage. Vash protected Wolfwood’s paradise from Knives’ laser.

And by reflecting Knives’ power back to their source, Vash declares war.

How does Knives do it? He is further and further gone the longer the story goes. 

But not only that, what must that mean to Knives? His brother uses his so important lifeforce to not only spite Knives, he does it for the human Knives has sent out to betray Vash. This human has been somehow able to become more important to Vash than not only his life, but also his brother. A massive middle finger right in his face. And the worst part of it, Wolfwood is already dead. He cannot even take revenge upon him. Remember the two-face panel of Knives when he cause the fall? He drew blood with his thumbs over the left side of his face, the first panel here resembles this from the pose. Kinda as if Knives does his last step to complete and utter madness.

We know that Wolfwood came from a place of scarcity. Food is his love language or one of them. So it's fitting that both of the boys have memories with Wolfwood regarding this. Not only that, the memories shown are either the first meeting or the start of their journey together. Vash makes the food that Rem has made him and food that reminds him of Wolfwood. 

I learned that food can be an important part of grief. You need to keep yourself fed and grief can be easily so overpowering that you cannot do it. But they must keep going on. So they eat.

The fucking third vial! You were a red herring for Wolfwood’s survival, a false counter. I despise you!

And this is a peace offering from Vash. I still believe that Vash is incredibly angry, but he understands why Livio was in that place. Remember Wolfwood, remember the man that was everything to me and that gave everything for you.

Wolfwood’s burden made him the man he was. It is just a fact.

And now it is Vash' burden. Vash takes over for Wolfwood and keeps going where Wolfwood couldn't. What a sad situation. When the only thing that binds you to your lost friend is the burden that he carried and that killed him in the end.

[nanomooselet]

My Brother's Keeper (VI)

You may have noticed that I didn't extensively discuss Rollo, Livio, or Legato, which is maybe odd considering they are (and pretty blatantly so) parallels or foils to Wolfwood and the twins. And it's mostly because I'm trying not to let this damn thing become even longer (it was supposed to be three parts. Three. It's clocked out at seven, and that's after I took a machete to it to stop it becoming eight. Goddamnit) and I did already go on about all of them in the episodes they appeared.

It's also because at this point, Wolfwood's story (for the moment) is done. When he makes the choice to leave July and Vash behind, that's the end, and the reason he returns actually isn't about him at all. The narrative focus is instead on Meryl and Zazie, making sure we know what both have to say about this. It's good to know Zazie's displeased by this turn of events and very unlikely to ever again believe a word Knives says. (Humans will eat your planet just like they did their own and real quick Imma use Vash to eat the planet myself first sorry-not-sorry BYE WORMS.) It's sweet that Meryl's love of Vash didn't result in her death by Knives's jealousy, as it did for Rem and nearly did for Luida.

Nick's concerns, however, have always been limited to the orphanage and Livio, and their fates are both now out of his hands.

Everything always comes back to the twins, in the end. I think in this analysis I've come to understand the key to Stampede, which is that almost nothing in it is only about the thing it seems to be about. It's always also in some way about the twins.

Wolfwood's part in Stampede is about how he was Knives's weapon and became Vash's follower. He goes from being Nicholas the Punisher full time, a walking dead man carrying his own tombstone, to being Nicholas D. Wolfwood, the awkward, scruffy, snarky dweeb who cares for his family with his whole heart and lives to see a kinder world. Inevitably he has been scarred and stained with blood - he remains the one who killed all those people on the cult's orders, and he'll bear the cross for them. But he's no longer limited to killing in order to save. There's a new path for him to follow.

It starts with doing what Vash would do: getting out of there while he still can before everything explodes. He just happens to scoop Meryl up as he's fleeing. When the twin angels ascend to do battle, the best place for mortals to be is anywhere but nearby.

He wasn't going to rescue Vash, and he never could have. Protecting Vash was the task Knives gave him, and that was out of an complete absence of respect for Vash as a person, a competent adult, a being of unimaginable power, an independent-thinking-individual-who-isn't-exactly-like-Knives etc. The very last fucking thing Vash needs is to wake up in the care of another paternalistic "older" brother - not that I believe Wolfwood would ever treat him the way Knives does, but frankly I can see why neither would want to take the risk.

(Also increasingly sure Knives is bsing about being the older twin. It's like how Wolfwood really is still a kid, and he acts like one, and honestly I think Vash treats him like one. Those startlingly fond, adoring expressions that blow you away a little bit? They're What Vash Is Like Always About Everyone. But especially kids. He's like that about Meryl, too, just less overtly.)

If anything, Vash saved Wolfwood. So Nick realises he has to survive, when before he kinda just wanted to die. He's no longer permitted some dumbfuck last stand. Fighting Knives is crazy and impossible, so let the impossible crazy man take care of it. It's his field of expertise. Love and peace ya'll. Woowoo's out.

Two things, however. The reason, in the manga, that Wolfwood didn't return to Hopeland (until he did), and the reason, in the manga, Chapel has none of the narrative's sympathy (not even Vash really gives a fuck when Wolfwood snaps his neck, and Chapel was already in a wheelchair at the time. I remember a bookclub post that declared God hates Chapel. I'm a layperson, but I'd call that theologically sound).

I mean, there are multiple reasons, but the most relevant is that in the manga, this evil-minded wrinkly fuck trained Wolfwood to kill. Wolfwood believed that being a killer rendered him unfit to ever again return home, until the day Chapel launched a direct assault on the orphanage using Razlo and Livio, revenge upon Wolfwood for taking up another cause - being Vash's friend - when his sole loyalty and purpose was supposed to be in death. He's disgusted that Wolfwood let Vash's ideals blunt his edge when previously he was near-"perfect".

I can't tell you what shape these events will take. But I can tell you they're still in the future. Stampede is a prologue, and the final phase has not arrived. Wolfwood's beginning is complete. His real story is yet to come. And I don't think he's forgiven himself for fulfilling the contract, even if Vash has.

The angel's eye, the Eye of Michael, still watches.

(And only the angel's? We'll see.)

Anyway, back to the twins.

(Part I)

(Part II)

(Part III)

(Part IV)

(Part V)

(Part VII)

[goldenteaset]

So unlike my other posts for @tristampparty , this one is focused on two things that are connected but not directly. But they are about the twins, who are Plants, so it fits the theme. XD

I have so many thoughts about Vash's panicked/drowning reaction in the Plant fluid and Nai's reaction to it. "Breathe, Vash." It's another unexpected reminder that for all he projects onto Vash, he does genuinely care for him (which makes everything worse). As, well, erotic horror as the tentacles right afterward is, I can't help but read it also as Vash trying to fight off a life preserver...

And now, we get into what I like to call "I'm Biased Toward A Specific Sort of Antagonist And Unfortunately I'm Also A Writer", aka a fic idea poorly disguised as analysis. And also a post about how attractive(ly scary) Nai is. XD;

Every day I thank Studio Orange for Nai, and also hope desperately that at least some shred of what I'd like to see with him actually happens.

Look at him. What a wonderful smile! And it's so deliciously jarring compared to the corpses that are all around him and Vash. Episode 3 and that "Does it cure the loneliness?" line were the creators preparing a lure, and then by episode 9 they cast it with That Smile to younger Vash in this exact spot, and here they hooked me and never let go.

My favorite antagonists deeply care for the protagonist, often in very complicated ways that offer up a hundred interpretations, but the most common one is love. Nai loves Vash--the memories of him, the idea of him, the saint, the sinner. And in this moment, he almost comes to love him as a person, too. "Join me, and we can save our kind." (Also of note: I love how this is framed so that the audience can see this side of Nai as well. It's a very compelling moment and wouldn't be out of place in an otome game.)

I was so excited for more of this: more Nai gently denying Vash his autonomy, lovingly indoctrinating/baptizing him into his cult as a fellow Angel and what that might mean!

...And then I realized that this scene happened only a few minutes in and oh. Oh no.

Don't get me wrong: I love/am horrified by the Tesla scene, and the desert and Rem scenes are amazingly done. But they're forceful, like Nai is embodying that "Gentle Persuasion" meme, and that just isn't scary to me. I would've mostly kept them as they are, but maybe leaned more into the "Everything I did was for you/a paradise for us" lines. Because yes, Nai is being a manipulative slimeball here, but I also think he has 1000% chugged his own Freudian koolaid so much that it's leaking out of his pores.

So I'd do it all mostly backwards, is what I'm saying: show the scene with Rem first, then the desert, then Tesla, then combine the "Join me~" + geranium garden scenes into one. It can convince Vash and the audience. Vash is now worn down, and more importantly he sees Nai as both a savior and, like the other Plants, someone who needs him.

Have there be visions of Vash's companions in the geranium garden (but conveniently far away) happily interacting with the Plants. Show Rosa and her baby! Wolfwood and Livio with the other orphans! So many knife-twisting ways to make this all seem like the best of all possible worlds. Have Vash mindbreak himself.

Now when Vash transforms and starts consuming July/impregnating the Plants, it's not just happening because he's just an empty vessel: Vash earnestly thinks it's the right thing to do.

(To twist the knife, I'd also bring back the "I can hear you. Don't be afraid" line at this moment. Heck, maybe it can all even sound triumphant from his POV, with tender piano music or similar. And then we cut to Meryl, desperately trying to reach him...)

[mediocreanomaly]

Love your soulmate au for vashwood so much. What if it was with reader and knives?

Knives would be so confused with feeling random pains like a stubbed toe or a random pinch.

🌻Hope you have a good day🌻

Authors note: Yo! ofcourse I had to turn this into a post!!! My main story will be Vashwood but I'm basing this in the same world as the Vashwood x reader stuff, consider this a little side story I might expand on if it gets enough love lol you don't have to read the other parts to understand this tho

Read the Vashwood Parts Here!: Part 1 | Part 2

Read Part 2 Here!

Knives X Reader Soulmate AU

•Knives had learned about soulmates during his studies with Rem, a person all humans had that was tethered to them in some sort of spiritual or metaphysical sense, one that could feel your pain.

•It was stupid. In all honesty he was glad he wasn't human so he didn't have to deal with something so tedious. It would only slow him down, he couldn't imagine how humans dealt with such a hinderance

•He often listened to Vash ramble on about soulmates and offered little assurance, often saying things like "We aren't human Vash we don't have soulmates", "You shouldn't want a soulmate anyways it's pain for no reason", "Will you stop talking about it already? it's beneath us"

•After the fall Knives all but forgets soulmates even exist. He's focused on bigger things and he doesn't have a soulmate anyways so the thought is nonexistent

•Then the oddest thing happens. He's busy destroying a town attempting to take their plant, it's a routine stop, when he swears he feels a pain shoot through his foot

•He quickly whips his head around, looking around to figure out what exactly could have done that but there's nothing but his own destruction. weird.

•He thinks about it for a couple days because he isn't used to getting hurt but reluctantly chalks it up to him some how being careless with his blades, even though that explanation doesn't really sit right with him it's the only thing that makes sense

•Then a couple months later in the sanctuary of his own quarters he feels a burn across his hand. He furrows his brow and slowly looks over his hand over and over to see where the burn is coming from yet there's no mark, just the feeling

•Fool him once shame on him fool him twice....

•He marches down to Conrads office irritated about whatever's happening. Conrad listens as he explains the two incidents, how there's no mark, how it's annoying and distracting him from more important matters

•Conrad nods and says he's going to run an experiment, before Knives can fully ask what says experiment is Conrad reaches over and roughly jabs him in the side

•Safe to say Conrad almost lost his head that day. In fact Knives blades where pressed to his neck when he felt a returning jab in his arm

•Once Knives realizes what's happening he's furious. He's a superior being he doesn't need a soulmate he's been fine with out one for a century, he doesn't even understand, why now? Why when he's so close to achieving his plans?

•After this he makes it a top priority to kill you. What? you thought he was going to be merciful just because your his soulmate? This whole thing is just a bump in the road of his plans, it'll be easy. He'll kill you and then he doesn't have to worry about feeling your pain. Besides, right now it's just a stubbed toe or a burn but come tomorrow he can't afford to be distracted if you break an arm or get shot

•So he rampages towns non-stop, trying to find you, hoping he'll feel his own blade for a split second before it can go back to normal

•During his rampages...is when you join Dr.Conrad in his studies. You were a plant specialist, the most renowned in your field, yet...the most you studied plants, the more you interacted and saw...the more you hated humans for how you used them

•You felt humans didn't deserve plants, didn't deserve the sentient life force the human race had created, so when you found out about Dr.Conrad you'd practically begged him to let you join the cause

•So ironically Knives was pretty much wasting his time being out causing mass destruction, if he had stayed he might've put the pieces together a bit faster, but he didn't

•Unlike Vash Knives doesn't really let himself get hurt, he does the hurting so Knives doesn't realize you're his soulmate for a long time, but this is good because if he realized right off the bat you'd probably be dead

•Instead he slowly comes to learn of your existence. He doesn't really care much about you one was or the other when he first meets you. Your Conrads help? Okay. That's it, that's all there is really he doesn't care

•Yet for some reason...every time he passes through to speak with Conrad he can't help but watch you work while he pretends to be focusing on whatever the man was saying

•It's almost maddening because he doesn't understand why you of all people have caught he attention so he starts trying to interact with you more. It's a little unnerving at first, I mean...it's Knives. He either silently stands over you as you work or makes less that nice comments about how your doing things wrong

•But you aren't deterred in fact you're pretty interested by Knives. You've studied plants your whole life but Knives...Knives is something different, something more. So you use the time he hovers to ask him questions about himself, how his gate works, if he sleeps or eats, logging each difference between him and humans and him and other plants

•Maybe it's the way your brain is wired from interacting with so many plants, maybe it's the fact Knives seems to pay particular attention to you,(maybe it's the fact you're soulmates lmao) but you're basically the only one who can read him. You don't know how but you pick up on the slight mouth twitches, the shifts in his shoulders, the difference between his "i'm annoyed" grimace and his "i'm enjoying this but I don't want you to know" grimace

•He won't admit it to you, not yet, but he's starting to feel...fond of you. He'll pretend he needs to speak to Conrad about the progress of his experiments but really he's just there to answer whatever questions you have and to talk to you in return

•Now don't forget, you can feel your soulmates pain...and this is Trigun. You are the first to realize you're soulmates. How you might ask? Well let's put it this way, would you want to feel yourself getting destroyed during the events of Ja'Lai?

•The Ja'Lai incident. It's possibly the worst pain you've ever felt in your life, despite the way Knives grits his teeth through it till the end to an average person? It's unbearable. You black out multiple times from the feeling, body laying in a heap as you try to figure out what's happening

•Once you hear about what happened in Ja'Lai...you instantly know. Luckily (and much to his protest) Legato eventually lets you help nurse Knives back to health

•You sit on the side of Knives bed, your own body still feeling like you have third degree burns as you watch the body of the man you'd been falling for. You knew he didn't want a soulmate, part of you wondered if you should even tell him when he wakes up...

•Well...who knows how he'll respond. Doesn't matter now though, he wont be waking up any time soon, so you have time to come up with a plan. Let's just hope your previous time with him has proved enough to win him over.

[cerealandchoccymilk]

Trigun Bookclub: Trigun Vol.1, Chapter #03

previous | all | next

More Trigun annotations! I'm doing a deep-read of the Japanese original print (reread) and Overhaul 1.0 (first read) side-by-side, and writing down everything I notice from small details, version differences, translation differences, etc. (and being so so gay about the characters. of course)

As always, here are the non-analysis panels of my dear babygirl (+ memes)...

And the rest is under the cut. i am living in ur brain now <3

[link for if the images aren’t in horizontal rows]

Starting off with the chapter cover of our handsome boy, this is the first time we see him with his glasses! I've seen someone on Twitter make a guide on Vash's different glasses designs over the manga (sadly it either cost money or was only distributed at a con and I don't have it...), so I'll try to pay attention to that during this readthrough.

As I've mentioned in the previous chapter, his antennae used to stand straight up, but they're bent now! They pop back up once in a while but from here on, the default is bent.

I love how gently he sets the girl down, and also the way everyone waits in awkward silence (and confusion) for Vash to move the rubble.

I think this part works excellently as-is, but notes on the nuances of what Nebraska originally said (this was ridiculously hard and the translation is very rough):

①「絶対どこかで不都合を並べた奴を消して来てるのさ」 ②「なぜなら」 ③「現におまえは消される側にまわってねえ……！！」 ↓ ① There has to have been a time when you "eliminated" ("erased"/killed) someone that got in your way (/someone unfortunate enough to [be there]...etc). ② Because... ③ In reality, you haven't taken on the role ("side") of being eliminated...!!

This part's very hard... He's talking about something similar to offense/defense. In this case, it's that because Vash has been avoiding conflict/being in direct danger entirely, Nebraska is saying that Vash must have killed, directly or indirectly, someone who got in the way of Vash's fleeing. I think.

I'm not sure why, but the way this was phrased stuck out to me.

Also, Gofsef's fist had an extra knuckle for one panel.

A translation error - it should be something like "He shot every bullet into the same precise spot... And shifted its trajectory!?"

Vash says "JACKPOT!" in English here, in the Japanese version. also hes soooo handsomeeeeee look at him omgggg kicking my legs back n forth blushing giggling i need to be tranquilized.

Nebraska's straight-up being crushed into pieces here. goddamn.

Not sure if it was removed in one of the reprints or in Overhaul's cleanup process, but in my Japanese copy, there was a "thump" onomatopoea of the guy backing into a wall.

Milly and Meryl are the best comedy duo in the world... They're perfect... The tiny speech bubble actually says something like "They're goofing all over the place..." The word ボケ (boke) is the funny man in a manzai comedy duo (as opposed to the straight man), and/or the jokes that the person in that role makes.

YIPPEE!! (In Japanese, it's one continuous exclamation ↑ like so. Also, there are tiny music notes around the handwritten text in the wahoo speech bubble.)

Vash runs out of breath after celebrating (cleaned up in Overhaul). God he's so silly...

A small error - I would phrase Meryl's line as "[Now, now,] Don't get too ahead of yourself."

I love how in Japanese, Meryl calls Vash "a very dangerous person with chronic troublemaker disease (慢性トラブル症)." I'm saying this from now on.

She also sarcastically says that she's grateful of the stars' alignment that they were able to meet, while gorilla gripping Vash's hand.

Also, I never noticed how fucked up Nebraska's body was!? Maybe the memories just got rewritten by Stampede. but goddamn. gun for legs...giant mechanical hands...

Vash making a Kirby Ꙩ.Ꙩ face my beloved. just a little guy!! with some badass girls!!! The last line is 「…はい？」 which is like what??/huh??/alright?? etc. はい is a very versatile word ☝ lol

That's it for Chapter #03! As always, the Japanese annotations will be in the reblogs. I'll remember to write the post about Meryl's speech patterns sometime soon.

[hikennosabo]

#tristampparty day 11, episode 11: to a new world

can you believe it's almost over already... @tristampparty let's go.

meryl and wolfwood's dynamic is so funny

two things: one, this is the first time we see present-day-him out of his blankie!! two, he can speak clearly, but vash is struggling to breathe... i wonder if on top of not needing to eat and sleep, knives also doesn't need to breathe... but i also wonder if vash actually needs to breathe himself. considering next episode they fly up into space and vash seems fine.

okay, i guess "100 years" from episode 9 was a number from conrad...

wow this is just like 9 Hours 9 Persons 9 Doors for the Nintendo DS

he says it's his hypothesis so... is he lying or is his hypothesis just wrong? i... i don't know if he would be lying on purpose. or if he's actually right and this is genuine orange original lore (doubt). how did he come to this conclusion? how would he detect the presence or absence of a soul anyway? imagine if this plan actually succeeded in the end. what would have happened? how would conrad have reacted if he was proved wrong?

viewing knives's microexpressions again like a completely normal person. his face softens when he says this. he really does genuinely care about the plants. it's just that his way of "caring" is. um. Like That.

COME. LET US TAKE IBUPROFEN TOGETHER.

subtle storytelling techniques. also again sinners with the capital S. also hello knives, you're so pretty!

he's both a receiver and a transmitter, wow this is just like 9 Hours 9 Persons 9 Doors for the Nintendo DS

not to keep overanalyzing knives's expressions, but... he looks a bit sad that vash will forget him. even though HE'S THE ONE MAKING HIM FORGET. ugh. knives, you're so. you're so. so frustrating.

waaaaiiit knives with the punisher tho... and the hand on the hip... he's serving

so much of this is vash's insecurities being made manifest, i wonder how much "work" knives actually has to do here. vash is full to the brim with guilt, it's not something knives would have to do much to bring out of him. well, most of that guilt is knives's fault to begin with...

this always gets me. this ALWAYS gets me... "love," he says... love, huh... love... i do think there is love. i do think love exists between them. it exists, but this is not an act of love. or, if you must call it love, if knives is telling himself he's doing this out of love, it's a love filtered through a thousand (or a million, haha, get it) layers of fear and trauma.

the "plant room" is where tesla is, right? we've only seen the one other geranium. also rem makes an "oh shit" face when nai says that...

thinking about this conversation. this... back and forth between vash and nai... about how humanlike vash is and how plantlike nai is. it's a sore spot for both of them... it clearly is for vash, but thinking about how nai feels... he's the one who's being asked to put on an act. he's the one being asked to suppress a part of himself. i know that's rem's way of trying to protect him, but... it must make him feel bad. even if he doesn't make it obvious. maybe that's why he keeps making digs at vash. :(

oh, it did, but if knives were to acknowledge that, his entire worldview would collapse, so...

vash tabs over to his own profile and then scrolls to tesla's profile. why is nai in a different tab than vash and tesla. for that matter, if vash and nai were supposed to be a secret, why do they have profiles in the database at all. did rem make those? did conrad?

maybe rem's biggest mistake was letting nai read the bible

the microexpressions again :')

he's saying this to manipulate vash but is that the only reason why he's saying it? is this what knives genuinely believes?

okay i don't care about this guy at all but the fact that he's still holding his noodles is funny. i'd do the same.

speak for yourself, knives.

WAIT HIS BLANKIE IS ON AGAIN FOR THIS? hmmm... his blankie. his cocoon, his shield. is it because he's killing rem? again? so he needs his blankie? as a form of comfort. he uses his blankie to hide, it covers his face.

i genuinely do not know what i should call it besides "blankie." sorry.

the way he words this... i thought maybe he was using cryosleep to extend his life like luida and brad, but no i think he just actually lived that long. he's got a few... attachments(?) so i guess those were part of the life-elongating process...?

hmm maybe he did use cryosleep though, since he said he's done 100 years of research even though it's been 150 years...? either way he's old as fuck though LOL so there is some fuckery going on

he's doing bad things right now. he's being bad. but his squinty face is so cute LOL

WHERE was that post that pointed out this looks like rem. bc it does. if you look closely, that's her hair.

ummm... it's after midnight again... i think i should be able to write and publish tomorrow's post in a more timely manner :'D

[acidmatze]

I’ll be there for you (Yes, like the Friends theme) Chapter 7

Summary: After being in a coma for two years Vash wakes up, not being able to remember Anything that has happened since he was “a teenager”. How is he gonna adapt to living in a world so strange and unfamilliar? By going to therapy for once Pairings: None Warnings: Nope Wordcount: 3.4k Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6

Truth be told, this morning Vash is super nervous to join everyone for breakfast.

After all, they all know now that he's not human.

But he can't stay away forever and someone is already knocking on his door, so he hastily opens and-

„Brother Vashus, will you be joining us for breakfast on this wonderful Tuesday morning?“

Vash stares at Chelsea.

„W-What....?“

„It's breakfast time. Time for breakfast. Munch munch, crunch crunch.“

Vash lets out a sigh.

Maybe he should give up on trying to understand whatever is going on in that girl's head.

Chelsea is skipping along the hallway back to the kitchen and Vash follows.

„Good morning Vash! You want some coffee?“ Steven greets him before anyone else can say anything.

„Uh.. I don't know if i ever had coffee.“ „Pour him one extra strong and black I wanna see if he can scale walls.“ Melvin mutters under his breath.

„What?“

„What?“

Melvin and Steven stare at each other.

Vash just sits down and grabs some toast.

„I'll just pour you half a cup and you can try it and tell me what you think of it.“

„Drink it up, drink it up, drink it up...“ Melvin continues to mutter.

„Maybe you should shut your mouth for a while until you are properly awake.“ Steven offers and pushes the cup towards Vash who takes it and smells it.

„Put some milk and sugar in it. It's less bitter then.“

Vash does as suggested.

Chelsea stuffs herself with cereals. Anna is nowhere to be seen yet.

Melvin's head suddenly slams on the table. He's snoring loudly.

Everyone immediately stops their movements and stare.

„Uhm....“ Vash looks the most confused „Does this happen often...?“

Chelsea makes an affirmative noise, her cheeks looking like a squirrel's.

„Once in a while. Let's ignore him for now. Did you sleep well?“

Vash takes a sip from his coffee and makes a face.

That's not exactly going to be his favourite taste.

„I think so? I had no nightmares at least. Or any dreams. But I needed a while to fall asleep.“

Steven nods.

„That's to be expected. A lot of stuff happened yesterday, you're in a new environment and then we bombarded you with questions as well. I'm just glad you're here because now its not me anymore who's the oldest.“

„I don't feel like 153 to be honest with you.“

„You don't look a day over 152 anyway.“

Morning assembly was pretty uneventful. Joe was absent again and by now Vash wonders if he will actually ever see that guy.

They talked about what each group will have for lunch, what today's therapy groups will be and sang Happy Birthday for a girl in all black named Lucy. She glared at everyone as if she wanted to explode them with her mind.

Then Vash headed to the living-room and went through the bookshelves there. He found a thriller-ish novel called „20 iles from May City“ and just tried that one out.

By the time he had to head for therapy he was already at page 35.

Now that Vash has gotten used to his new surroundings and everything he has more free space in his mind to actually realise how small Mrs Fischer's office is. And its so Full of stuff. Tons of paintings on the walls that all look very... abstract. Mostly Vash can't even tell what they are supposed to be. The colours clash. Nothing is making sense.

Then his attention is caught by a big tube filled with water and bubbles in the corner. In it are fake fish „swimming“ around. There is also a light changing colours constantly in the back to illuminate the tube.

The fake fish get caught in the bubbles, rise to the top and then sink back down slowly only to be caught by the bubbles again.

It is mesmerizing and it takes all of Vash's willpower to redirect his attention back to Mrs. Fischer. Who is looking at him expectantly.

„Okay, seems like you got distracted. So let me ask again. Did you like the movie you watched yesterday?“

„Uuuhh...“

There is a hint of amusement on his therapist's face.

„Uhm.. I guess it was okay? I don't have any experience with movies. But what bothers me is that it seems like everyone else knows more about me than I do.“

Mrs. Fischer leans slightly forward on her elbows.

„What do you mean?“

„They said I look like Vash the Stampede. I assume that is... me? I don't know anything about that guy. Sounds like a complete stranger to me. Why would I destroy a whole city?“

Mrs. Fischer hums and taps on her chin.

While she is thinking about her next words Vash's attention slowly drifts back to the fish tube. He kinda wants one for himself. But then he would never do anything else besides sitting in front of it and staring at it. There is something deeply relaxing about it.

„Well, there are theories about that. But we won't know for certain unless you manage to remember it and share it with us. We do know that it's currently being rebuild, around the crater that is left. How do you feel about learning all this?“

Vash forces himself to pay attention to his therapist, not the fish tube.

„I guess... I don't know? How am i supposed to feel? Maybe shocked? Guilty?“

He stares at his feet.

„I don't feel anything right now. Is that bad? I can't remember a thing.“

The therapy session was inconclusive for the most part. Vash was reassured that not knowing what to think and feel about a past he cannot remember is normal. He basically just woke up from a coma as well. Memories will come in time.

He was also given a small bottle partly filled with water and glitter and tiny colourful stones and a tiny sailing ship, that he has to hold sideways and then slowly sway from side to side.

Which was utterly fascinating to Vash so until he was called for lunch he sat on his bed staring at it.

After lunch, spinach with steak and tater tots, Melvin asks Vash if he wants to play soccer with him but Vash declines.

"I have depression now."

"We all do." Melvin says with a really dry voice.

"Fool. He has depression Group now." Steven says with a slight sneer. "I am headed there as well. You can just follow me."

"What do we even do in Depression Group? Are we just.. sad?" Vash asks. He has no idea what to imagine. He was told to bring a notebook and something to write with and that's it.

"I actually don't know myself. This is a new group and I was in behavioural therapy before this but that is over now."

Depression & Anxiety Group is on the third floor right under the attic, in the same room where everyone organises their meds for their pill boxes. Vash hasn't done that yet though since staff still has to figure out Exactly what meds he needs.

Behaviour therapy is in the same room, but as Steven said, that group is over for now.

The room also has a glass wall to the floor, like the Assembly room directly opposite. It also quite unfortunately has lots of large windows so the sun is streaming into the room right now. When Vash enters he feels like he's in a sauna.

He sits down next to Steven and immediately recognises the girl from today morning who still looks like she wants to explode people with her mind. There are also five other people in the room already, including the therapist. Who is shuffling through his papers as of now.

"So uhm.. Is... is everyone here? Where is my attendance list?"

Two more people enter the room and sit down. Not everyone has brought a notebook. Maybe they forgot. Or weren't told.

"Okay that should be all. Or is anyone missing?"

"Joe can't come, he is feeling really sick." some guy says.

At this point Vash is starting to accept that this Joe must be some kind of cryptid. Maybe nobody has ever seen him.

"That is very unfortunate..."

The therapist does not sound convincing at all.

More paper shuffling.

"Okay then. We should be 9 in total but Joe is sick so that makes 8 and there's 8 of us in here, yes very good. Good afternoon, welcome to depression and anxiety... group. I am Mr. Kowalski and I am just filling in for Mrs. Fischer. She had to urgently see an external patient of ours. This is a new group so we will figure things out as we go. Or You will. I won't. I won't be here next time. I normally lead the pain group and also the addiction group."

Some girl starts giggling.

"Haha yes very funny, that is how the groups are called, I did not come up with this. You are laughing you are obviously not depressed, get out."

More giggling.

"At least someone finds this amusing." Mr. Kowalski seems like he really doesn't wanna be here.

"Do you know why you are here?"

"Uh.. because we are depressed and don't want to be anymore..?"

Looks like the blue-haired guy from last evening is also here.

"Wrong! You are here because you want to go on a long and hard journey to the inner workings of your mind and fix the broken clockwork."

Silence.

This guy is definitely just as bonkers as anyone else here.

Mr. Kowalksi clears his throat.

"My humor is clearly misplaced here. Let's do some actual therapy then. I have a worksheet for you. Take one and pass it along, please."

It's about symptoms of depression. But oneself's symptoms. How is Vash supposed to know that yet? He doesn't even really feel depressed, maybe.

"Depression can take many faces." Mr. Kowalksi explains.

"Some people sleep all day, some people cannot sleep at all. Some lose all interest in their hobbies. Some don't feel anything, they just get unexplained pains and aches or an upset stomach. Or even funkier physical symptoms. Some want to end their lifes... Depression can disguise itself as other illnesses as well. I had a patient who told me she had no idea she was depressed. Went to her doctor and was treated for stomach ulcers. Took three years until someone figured out what was actually going on. It is really important that you all know what your very own personal brand of depression is, before you can do anything about it. You don't have to fill this out immediately. Do it in your own time and bring it back with you to the next session. For now, let's brainstorm a few symptoms of depression that you are familiar with and put it on the white board here."

Vash's head is swimming. That was way too much stuff for him to take in and the group seemed to drag on and on. He definitely has issues with focussing. Originally he was planning on doing research on what depression and anxiety actually Are but given how full his head is right now he shouldn't do anything that uses his brain at all.

Let's focus on something easier instead. What is going on around him?

This time, not much. His group might be over but there is still therapy stuff going on for the others. Group 2 also went out a bit earlier. They went bowling. Which is another thing that Vash doesn't know.

Steven is quiet. Melvin also seems very quiet. There is muffled talking in the hallway but it isn't anyone Vash can immediately recognise.

The next thing on his schedule is Relaxation. Yeah, that is literally what it is called.

Vash doesn't know what to expect from it. Will they just talk about relaxing things or will they actually... relax? How do you just do that on command?

He once overheard some people at the hospital talk about something called Yoga. Maybe they will do this Yoga thing in Relaxation?

They did not do The Yoga Thing at Relaxation Group, which is the full name of the group.

Instead the therapist, who is funnily also one of the physical therapists but not Diego, had laid out foam mats on the floor and instructed everyone to lie down in a way that is comfortable for everyone.

It was a small group there were only seven people, Vash included, and the group was being held in the room with the glass wall where morning assembly is done.

Relaxing soft music was playing in the background.

First Vash was worried that people might look at him funny if he showed up in fuzzy slippers and sweatpants but looked like everyone was wearing similar stuff.

After everyone had lied down the therapist was giving a small introduction of what she wanted to do today, which was reading them something they have to imagine while doing their best to relax.

Five minutes into the story which was about flying in a balloon over sand dyed in a myriad of colours, Vash heard the first person starting to snore.

Several people seemed to have fallen asleep and had to be woken back up after the session was over. Vash himself was feeling a bit groggy too.

This seemed to be a common theme lately. He doesn't remember that he got this tired as fast when he was younger. Is that what people mean when they say they are „getting old“?.

In reality he was simply still overwhelmed by everything being new and novel to him. His brain had a whole lot of catching up to do, after all.

After all therapies for the day are over Vash is now lying on his bed with his book and looks for a radio station to listen to while he is reading. He figured since they found his radio and it is still functional he should also actually use it.

Seems like it was tuned to rather military-sounding stations previously but Vash managed to get „normal“ stations in now. Probably at some point in life these served a purpose to him but not now. But he can't imagine that he used to be a military man at all. What's there even to fight? Worms? Hopefully not other people. A war is the last things anyone needs on this planet.

Maybe... Knives?

Before dread and a Very Bad Feeling can fester in Vash the radio is blaring in his ears.

„TURN YOUR PHONE INTO A STYLISH COFFEE MACHINE WITH THIS APP!!!!“

Nope.

„..And this is why the planet is actually an elongated trapezoid.“

Nope.

„The cure all for everything. Excessive sweating, stomach aches, flus and other infections, buckteeth, obesity, internal bleeding, death and balding be gone!“

Nope.

„DANN GEH DOCH ZU NETTO!!!!!“

Uhm... Vash would rather not.

„Amazing! What has hanging upside down from a cliff for two decades taught you?“ That.. that's very painful...?

„(Speaks in ancient greek)“

Huh...?

The sound of the worst „music“ Vash has ever heard in his entire life fills the room. This song-like something has more bpm than there are stars in the entire universe and the sawtooth synths could cut down a whole forest in two seconds. Nope, dear god, nope!

„And now... types of numbers... Natural numbers: The counting numbers {1, 2, 3, ...} are commonly called natural numbers; however, other definitions include 0, so that the non-negative integers {0, 1, 2, 3, ...} are also called natural numbers. Natural numbers including 0 are also sometimes called whole numbers.

Integers: Positive and negative counting numbers, as well as zero: {..., −3, −2, −1, 0, 1, 2, 3, ...}. Rational numbers: Numbers that can be expressed as a ratio of an integer to-“

Nope.

„Calibur FM! The only alternative radio on the planet that Matters. Welcome to Earth Hour where we only play bands that originate from planet Earth. For you we dug though mountains of old records and found the best ones that are still working.“

Something compells Vash to stop here. Maybe he is curious about Earth Music or maybe he knows this station from Before.

„Let's start the second half of the show with Let It Happen by Jimmy Eat World. Shame that this band is over 400 years old. I doubt they will release any new albums any time soon!“

Only two seconds in and the hairs on Vash's arm are standing straight up.

He knows that song.

He knows that song.

He knows that song.

Before he realises it he finds himself singing along as if he has heard this song dozens of times.

He probably Has.

How?

Vash immediately gets his tablet out and looks the band up. He finds a couple of videos that are mostly all in garbage audio quality, which is to be expected cuz this is Old. Hundreds of years old. But they all paint a very clear picture.

He knows those songs. He finds himself humming along to most of them. Even a few suggested songs sound extremely familar to him.

Someone is banging on his door.

„Oh my god was that Jimmy Eat World? I love them! My favourite band says they were their inspiration!“

It's Chelsea. Her banging is very insistent. So Vash sighs and gets up from his bed to open the door.

Chelsea almost falls over herself and stumbles into his room.

„Wow theres absolutely nothing in here!“ she exclaims in genuine shock.

„Uhm.. I mean.. I just moved here.“

Vash rubs his neck. Is that really that weird?

„Okay yeah but when I came here I brought my posters and my Pinky Dolls rug and my laptop and my books and my plushies and my magazines and my lifesize sized cardboard cutout of Johnny Death which I made myself.“

„Who.. who's Johnny Death? Anyway, I don't have any of these things. Coma, remember?“

Chelsea lets out a gasp.

„Ohmygodicantbelieveyoudontknowwhojohnnydeathis! He's the frontman of Bloody Samurai, one of my favourite bands! He's soooooooooooo cute and dreamy! I have loved him ever since I saw the music video for As Blood Rained From The Sky and he was looking into the camera all drenched in fake blood and looking so soft. Once at a concert he looked at me!“

Before Vash can say anything Chelsea has taken out her phone and is scrolling through various pictures.

„Look! Look, that's him!“

Vash is staring at a guy with black straight hair down to his shoulders and so much black makeup he looks like a panda. He's making a face like someone disturbed him from a super comfy nap.

„Isn't he cute?“

He looks like he kicks puppies as a hobby, but Vash knows he can't say that.

The next picture is of the same guy, shirtless this time, drenched in fake blood and clinging to himself while looking dramatically at the camera. He also has a buttload of tattoos, most of them black. The panda makeup is not present so he looks like a human person actually.

„He's so hot, isn't he?“

Chelsea is swooning.

He's as hot as a featherless chicken shortly before it gets cooked, but Vash knows he Also can't say that.

He opts for the diplomatic answer.

„That is a lot of pictures you have of him. You obviously love him very much.“

Chelsea nods so fast that Vash is worried she might dislocate her neck or something.

Then she suddenly stops and looks at her phone in shock.

„Oh would you look at the time! I would love to stay longer but I'm meeting with the girlies. We wanna hang out at West Dunes Park and harass some old people.“

She giggles.

„Just joking! We just hang out at the playground and listen to music. Anyway, you really need some decorations in here though. Something that reflects your personality. We had a guy here whose room was totally empty even after half a year and that was so creepy. Hopefully you're not as creepy. Like, that guy had no personality I swear. Well, I gotta go know. See you later!“

And there she goes, leaving Vash even more confused than before.