#been a wibbly wobbly week. month. four years.

[thegizka]

The Silver Lining

Inspired by this post where a time traveler and an immortal are friends and keep meeting.

Written for Writer’s Month 2019 Day 9:  Time Travel.

Please do not steal my work.

For the record, time travel sucks.

I was first pulled when I was eight years old.  One minute I’m making mud pies in my family’s garden and the next I’m floating in the aftermath of the world’s destruction with some transcendent being pretending it’s doing me a favor when it tells me I’ve been chosen to prevent the apocalypse.  Before letting me process that or ask questions, I was magically back in the garden playing in the mud.  I promptly threw up.

See, time travel isn’t a pleasant experience.  Maybe if you have a time machine built to withstand the wibbly-wobblies of moving beyond natural chronology, you wouldn’t feel like your body was being torn apart and patched back together with cheap double-sided tape.  That’s not even mentioning the whiplash your mind feels when you go from processing the input of five senses to experiencing nothing to the sensations of a totally new environment.  It really messes with you.

Honestly, I thought that first pull was the result of weird compost fumes until my next time travel adventure.  When I was fourteen, I was pulled back to the Scottish Highlands in 1166.  Talk about culture shock!  I wasn’t particularly concerned with personal hygiene (remember the mud pies?), but within twenty-four hours, I was longing for a proper shower.  It was miserable.  Everyone spoke strangely, I had no idea if anything was safe, and I was somehow supposed to prevent an unknown event whose repercussions would lead to the end of the world.  No pressure.

Not only was this the first trip that I was expected to alter history, it was also the first time I met her.

Cassandra stood out almost as much as I did.  With thick and wavy black hair, olive skin, and an air of superiority, she was nothing like the rough and unrefined clansmen around us.  Lucky for me, she decided to help me out, getting me proper attire and explaining the customs and politics of the time.  It was a little unnerving because I got the sense that she knew more about me and my mission than she said, but I was glad to have the help.  I needed it.  Without her, I don’t think I would have managed to stop a political marriage between two clans which would create a power imbalance and pave the way for war.  Unfortunately, I was pulled back to my own time before I could help Cassandra mop up the mess this created.

It’s unnerving to spend weeks or months in another time and place only to return to the exact moment you’d left your own life.  It’s disorienting if not psychologically scarring.  Since no one else knows about my cosmic destiny, I must somehow maintain a job and social engagements on top of everything else.

At first it wasn’t too difficult because getting pulled happened infrequently.  I even tried dating and managed to have a long-term romantic relationship without revealing I’m a nutcase.  But as soon as I entered my thirties (though age is so hard to track when the timeline is flexible), the pulling has happened in earnest.  Sometimes I’ll be dragged to two or three eras in a row before returning to my own, which really does a number on your sense of self and chronology.  I can’t reliably keep my houseplants alive, let alone my social life.

The one consistency in this crazy existence is Cassandra.  You can imagine my surprise when the third pull deposited me in 1913 Brazil and she was there looking just as she had when we’d met in Scotland.  At first I thought my mind had given up and I truly was crazy.  (I’m still not convinced I’m sane.)  Then I wondered if somehow her descendant had turned out to be her body double.  I even entertained the concept of cloning.  But when she pulled me aside and recounted in excruciating detail one of the most embarrassing moments of my life (how was I, an innocent teenager, supposed to know how to “properly” wear a kilt?), I accepted that it was truly her.

It turns out she’s also been selected by some transcendent being to save the world, but instead of being pulled through time, she has to live through it all.  Initially immortality hadn’t seemed like such a bad thing, but for her, time passes in steady and excruciatingly slow chronology.  She has to live through all of the mundane bits while I experience the highlight reel.  We’ve often debated which curse is worse.

It can be a bit unnerving to run into someone you know whose personal timeline is different from yours.  Sometimes Cassandra or I will try to reference a shared experience only for the other to be totally lost because they haven’t reached that moment in their life.  But it is also convenient and somewhat comforting to have someone who understands your circumstances.  I like to think we’ve helped each other quite a lot over the years, her with her knowledge of current events and me with my understanding of the future timeline.  Somehow we always end up in the right place at the same time.

I’m not at all surprised then when I’m pulled far into the future and see her.  I am a bit put off by the fact that it’s a holographic tribute, much like statues of famous people from my own era.  Though she does her best to keep a low profile, Cassandra’s involvement in our missions and their aftermath sometimes gives her notoriety.

I approach the tribute, not particularly concerned about my out-of-place attire (future fashion has a convenient niche for throwbacks and weirdos).  I examine the description.

Cassandra Theodoris, savior of humanity.

I’m sure she got a kick out of that when they put it up.  Though ours is a cosmic mission, it rarely feels so.  Sometimes the crisis is as simple as preventing someone from drinking sour milk.  I’ll have to ask her what she did this time to earn such a title.

“Ah, Jonas.  I was wondering when you’d show up.”

We always meet like this, casually spotting each other within an hour of my arrival.  Cassandra has dyed her hair bright blue and used makeup to change the perceived contours of her face so she isn’t immediately recognizable as the woman in the hologram.

“I’ve been taking in some local attractions,” I grin, gesturing to the hologram.  “What was it this time?”

“Oh, you’ll find out in a year or two.”  She waves her hand dismissively.  “Come on.  My shuttle’s not far, and we need to get you some new clothes.  When are those from, the 1990’s?  They’re very ganhi.”

“And what does ganhi mean?”

She gave me a pointed look.

“You don’t want to know, other than it’s something you want to avoid.”

“Okay, what do I want to know then?”

I don’t think I’ll ever get used to being pulled through time.  I don’t know that my mind will recover from pinballing throughout human history.  I have no idea whether anything I do will really prevent the apocalypse.  But as long as I’m being forced on these crazy adventures, I’ll be glad to have Cassandra there with me.

[pennywaltzy]

Alternate Beginnings, Alternate Endings, Alternate Universes (4/5 - An “Adventures In Unexpected Places” Story)

And here is the last of the old chapters for this story!

Alternate Beginnings, Alternate Endings, Alternate Universes - After being sent to the worst school in the whole of England, Amy meets up with the man whose fault it is that she’s there, and things go vastly more differently than anyone expected.

READ CHAPTER 1 | READ CHAPTER 4 | SERIES PAGE | HELP ME SURVIVE? | COMMISSION ME? | BUY ME A KOFI?

The rest of the school year came and passed in the blink of an eye, it seemed. Even knowing that the life she was living now wasn’t the life she was supposed to live, and knowing one day it might suddenly be different, she continued on. The Doctor increased his visits to once a week, and then twice a week, always bringing Rory along. Rory had taken it better than she had, once the Doctor told him they were still together in the other life. That seemed to be enough for him.

Soon it was summer and she was saying good-bye to St. Trinian’s for a summer in Leadworth. Mels hadn’t wanted to leave, because the schemes she made with Fast Harry were coming to fruition, and as she said, she didn’t want him to muck anything up while she was gone. It was with some reluctance that she left, but she threatened Fast Harry with bodily harm before she left. Apparently he was very scared of a thirteen-year-old girl, because he swore he’d keep everything in tip-top shape.

“It’s been an interesting year, hasn’t it?” Mels asked as they were on the bus on their way back to Leadworth.

“Yeah, it has,” Amy said with a nod. Mels didn’t know about the other timeline, or the changes the Doctor planned on making. She just hoped that she had more time because really, she did enjoy this life. “It’s going to be boring going back to Leadworth.”

“But Rory’s there. That’s got to make you happy, having the chance to see him every day for three months,” Mels teased, bumping her shoulder into Amy’s. “And besides, it’s not like your Aunt’s changed her mind. She’s gotten used to you not being there. Come next term, it’s back to St. Trinian’s for us.”

“I hope so.” Mels got a good look at her face and kept quiet for most of the ride back, which suited Amy just fine. They got off the bus in Leadworth to see Rory waiting for them. He greeted Amy with a kiss, which made her smile, and he said the adults were waiting at Mels’ home for dinner. When Amy asked about Aunt Sharon, he said he didn’t know, and that Mr. and Mrs. Sinclair probably did. Since Mels only lived a few blocks from the bus stop the three of them walked there, Rory being a gentleman and carrying both their backs, one on his back and one on his bike.

They made it to Mels home and her parents greeted them warmly, inviting Rory to stay for dinner as well. They said nothing about Aunt Sharon, and as the meal wore down Amy began to get impatient. Finally, as everyone was finishing desert, she spoke up. “When can I go home?” she asked.

“You aunt had to go out of town,” Mr. Sinclair said after a moment. “She’s in America for the next three weeks. She asked us to keep an eye on you for her.”

Amy couldn’t believe it. Her aunt had bought the bus ticket home. Surely she had remembered her niece was coming back? “I can’t believe she’s not here,” she said glumly.

“You know, Amy can stay at the place by herself, Mum, Dad,” Mels said. “If she gets scared she can just come over here. Please? She’s been gone from home since break and all she wants to do is sleep in her own bed tonight.”

The two adults looked at each other from across the table. “I suppose she won’t mind. But call us when you get there, and come over frequently,” Mr. Sinclair said.

Amy beamed at him. “Thank you.” She pushed her chair back from the table, and Rory did the same. They said their good-byes to Mels and her family and then made their way off towards Amy’s house. “I can’t believe she’s not here,” she said with a sigh when they were halfway to her home.

“She hasn’t spent a lot of time here since the spring,” Rory said. “I told you that.”

“I know, but to not be here when I got home? It’s further proof she doesn’t care about me.” She took another step forward before she realized Rory wasn’t following. She turned to look at him, and he reached over for her hand. “What?” she asked, holding it tightly.

“She’s looking to move away. I heard my parents talking about it one night a few weeks back. She wants to go to London, and keep you at the school the whole year round, and during the summer…I don’t know.”

“Leave Leadworth? Leave our home?” she said, surprised. Then she scowled. “Course she would. It’s a stupid town with stupid people and it’s all just a reminder of how much I made her life miserable.”

“I was going to try and talk my parents into letting you stay with us for the summer, and I know as soon as Mels finds out she’ll try and do the same. You’ll still get to see me. I mean, there’s the Doctor, right? I see you more than I’d ever thought I would now.”

“Yeah, but it’s not the same,” she said with a sigh. She took another step towards her home and this time he followed, still holding her hand with the hand he wasn’t using to guide his bike. “We should run away, just the three of us. We could make it out there.”

“Maybe the Doctor will take us now?” Rory suggested.

Amy beamed at him, then leaned over and kissed him. “That’s brilliant, Rory. Camilla gave me the number to call him. When we get to my place we’ll call him and we’ll ask him to take us away.” She let go of his hand and ran the rest of the way to her house, Rory keeping up as best he could. When they got to her home she took the key out of her pocket and let herself in, and dashed to the phone in the kitchen.

“Hopefully he picks up,” Rory said as he got to her, putting her duffel bag on the floor.

“Yeah, hopefully.”” She let it ring once, twice, three times, then four, and it went to a machine. “Doctor, Aunt Sharon isn’t in Leadworth and I’m home and she’s planning on moving away and Rory and I want to travel with you all the time, if it’s all right. We don’t want to stay where we’re at. So please, come pick us up and take us with you, all right?” She hung up and looked at him. “I guess now we wait. How late can you stay over?”

“Till ten, maybe.”

“Hopefully he’ll be here by then.” And then they heard the familiar vworp-vworp-vworp that signaled the Doctor’s arrival. The two of them dashed outside and saw the TARDIS parked next to the swing set, and by the time they got to it the door was thrown open. “Doctor!” Amy called out as they came into the console room.

“Amelia, Rory, good to see you,” he said with a grin.

“Doctor, please, let us travel with you all the time,” Amelia leaded as she threw her arms around his waist. “Please?” She heard another person clear their throat, and she pulled away from the Doctor to see a woman with frizzy blonde hair standing near the console. “Who are you?” she asked.

“I’m River Song,” she said with a warm smile. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

Rory looked from the Doctor to River and back to the Doctor. “Is that your girlfriend?”

The Doctor smiled slightly. “So she says,” he said with a nod. “Wife, actually. Timey-wimey wibbly-wobbly stuff. In that other future you two have, she gets me to marry her. We still consider each other husband and wife.”

“Oh,” Amy said, looking at River closely. “You don’t look like I’d thought you would look.”

“And just how did you think I would look?”

“Younger, like him,” Amy said, and the Doctor chuckled at that.

“I don’t look that old, do I?” River asked, though she still had a slight smile on her face. “I should probably leave the three of you alone anyway. I believe you all have some things to talk about.” She came up to the Doctor and kissed his cheek. “Remember what I told you, sweetie, and be gentle.”

“Yes dear,” he said. She took a step back, pressed a few buttons on the device on her wrist, and then she was gone.

“What’s she talking about?” Amy asked.

“Well, my enemies are springing their trap a bit earlier than planned,” he said. “The Pandorica is lying in wait for me underneath Stonehenge. I started opening it, and then I left. River’s going off to check.”

“But then I die, and you have to wait two thousand years for me to get better,” Amy said.

“Well, the TARDIS isn’t exploding today, so I expect it won’t go quite according to their plans. But…it means I may not come back. We’ll see. I had planned on coming to see the both of you tonight anyway, and then I got your call. But I’m afraid I can’t take you with me. It’s too dangerous right now.”

“I understand,” Amy said with a sigh in a slightly bitter tone. “You’re going to leave me too. I see how it is. Everyone leaves.”

“Amelia,” he said quietly, placing both hands on her shoulders. She looked at his chest until he put a finger under her chin and tilted her head up. “We’re doing this for you, River and I. If it went the way it was supposed to before, you would lose this life but you’d have your parents back. I know how much you love this life, and I’m trying to help you keep it. You were able to bring me back the last time. I’m hoping it doesn’t come to that this time.”

“Oh,” she said. “I’m sorry.”

“I want to tell you both something,” he replied. “River is more than just my wife. She’s a good friend, not just to me, but to both of you. In fact, it’s because of her that the two of you are together.”

“But it was Mels that got us together,” Rory said with a frown. “She’s the one who told Amy that I liked her, the first day they were at St. Trinian’s.”

“Exactly,” the Doctor said.

“So…Mels is River?” Amy said.

He nodded. “Yes.”

“How is that possible?” she asked.

“River, and by extension Mels, is special. She’s human, but she has Time Lord DNA. It means she can regenerate, just as I had done when you first met me, Amelia. And she has a very particular reason for making sure the two of you get together and stay together. You see, she’s your daughter, in the other timeline. She is in this one as well, but things go differently here. She’s kidnapped by different people, for one, and she’s not raised as a weapon here. But she needs to make sure the two of you stay together long enough to have her.”

“How come she’s part Time Lord?” Rory asked.

The Doctor blushed slightly. “When the two of you are old enough, you have your…first time…aboard the TARDIS, while it’s in flight.” Amy and Rory looked at each other and made a slight face. Kissing was one thing; that was something else altogether. “You get to raise her for a few years, but then she’s kidnapped and you lose her. Meanwhile she regenerates in the past and she makes her way to Leadworth to be your friend and get you together. Then she’ll regenerate later into River and she comes into my life again.”

“That’s all so confusing. It’s making my head hurt,” Amy said, rubbing her temples slightly.

“I know. But she wanted me to tell you so that you know no matter what, you two keep hold of one another. And we’re hoping that if we spring this trap now I can get out of it easily enough, and then we can continue our adventures so you two can…you know…when you’re older.”

“That makes sense,” Rory said slowly, nodding. “Kind of.”

“So I can’t take you away now, and you two don’t travel with me full time for a few years yet. But no matter what, even if this fails, you two don’t lose each other. You have the kind of love that comes along once a century. Nothing can break that bond.”

“Oh,” Amy said.

“And now I need to go.” He offered Rory his hand, which Rory shook, and then he hugged Amelia tightly. “Hopefully it will all work out. I’ll try and come back as soon as possible, all right? If not…know that I care deeply about the both of you.” He let Amy go, and then he guided them out of the TARDIS. Amy and Rory waved as he shut the door, then watched as the TARDIS dematerialized and they were alone.

“I want it all to work out,” Rory said, holding her hand tightly.

“Yeah, me too,” she replied, squeezing it back. “Come on. If you can stay till ten, maybe we can watch some movies or something and relax. He’ll do fine. I have faith in him.”

“Yeah, I do too,” he said, giving her a smile. She smiled back and they went back inside the house. At least they would have each other, no matter what. That was something.

[soprano193]

100 Ways to Say... (45/100)

And this one has been done for seven months, I just didn't want to mess up the continuity of the last two...  You'll be able to tell it's old...  Enjoy!

Sorry I’m Late

His meeting ran late.  It always did when he didn’t want it too.  And to make matters worse, he had turned off his phone to avoid any spoilers, so he couldn’t call his wife to let her know he wouldn’t be home on time.

He had never been the best at sitting still.  Kate joked that he could have used one of those fidget spinners for those times where he couldn’t leave.  Like now, while Gina and Paula discussed promotion for the new Nikki Heat TV series, and he missed the television announcement he had been waiting on since January.

Gina was alerted to his bouncing leg first, her dark eyes burning a hole in his forehead as she glared at him.  “What has you all worked up?”

His stomach turned as he fought to control his body.  “Nothing.  It’s not important.”

She raised an eyebrow at him, her eyes studying his face.  “Is Kate alright?  The last time you got this antsy she was about to pop.”

His mind drifted back to when she was pregnant, and how he had hastily shoved his completed manuscript across the table when the meeting ran late.  “No, it’s not that.  It will sound dumb.”

Paula laughed and tilted her head, her dark hair falling over her shoulder.  “Do you think we care if it sounds dumb?  We’re used to your quirks by now.”

He clenched and unclenched his fists before answering, his leg starting to shake again.  “It’s Doctor Who.”  The women across from his didn’t blink, so he kept talking, trying to explain.  “Lily is a huge fan, she has her own sonic screwdriver, a stuffed adipose, and everything.  And they’re announcing the 13th Doctor today, and I was supposed to be home for it.”

Gina looked at him for what felt like a whole minute, before turning to face the other person in the room.  “I don’t know about you, but I heard family obligations, didn’t you?”

“Yes, absolutely.”  The other woman agreed as she rose to her feet.  “I have other clients to meet with today, anyway.”

“Great.  So we will reconvene in another two weeks?”  The blonde looked between them for their nods of confirmation before rising herself.  “Perfect.  I will email you both with the agenda, please try to schedule family obligations at a later time.”

He almost tripped over his seat, he rose so fast, the words falling out of his mouth almost as fast as he could put them in order.  “Yes, of course.  Thank you, have a great rest of the week to you both.”  He didn’t even shake their hands before he was out the door.

Street traffic at noon was a nightmare.  Everyone was out to lunch and clogging the walkways, sticking out the doors at some of the more popular restaurants.  He managed to dodge it without too much trouble, arriving at his building only four minutes later than he thought he would.  

Kate was in the kitchen as he arrived, picking pieces of cucumber out of her salad with her fingers.  Her eyes lit up as he came close, her body angling toward him as he leaned down to hug her.  Pressing a kiss to the side of her head, he whispered apologies into her hair.  “I’m sorry I’m late.  I didn’t mean to keep you waiting, and I turned off my phone to avoid spoilers.”

She turned her head to kiss his lips, lingering for a moment as she giggled into him.  When she pulled back, her eyes lifted to meet his, her amused smile relaxing him.  “Babe, I get it.  How many of my meetings run late?  I've been there.  But someone else has been not-so-patiently waiting for you so we didn't spoil the surprise.”

He whirled around and walked to the couch, looking for his bright eyed daughter.  She was asleep on the couch, wearing her Tardis blue shirt with the white letters spelling out Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey, her stuffed adipose clutched in her tiny hands.  Castle leaned down, his finger running over her cheek, brushing her soft hair behind her ear.  At his soft touch, the young girl’s eyes opened, and fixed on him.  She grinned, flopping over to throw her arms around his neck.  “Finally.”

He laughed, pulling her into his arms so he could settle on the couch with her in his lap.  “I know, I'm sorry, Lilypad.”

“What took so long?”  She grumbled, her eyes fighting to stay open as she settled against him.

His fingers caught a snag in her hair that he gently worked through as they talked.  “A meeting, baby.  Meetings are boring.  Be happy you don’t have to worry about those yet.”

“Just when I’m big.”  She agreed, her hand coming up to rub at an eye.  After a few moments of cuddling, she lifted her head to look at him, her mother’s eyes shining from her young face.  “Can we watch now?”

He turned around to find his wife, who was still eating her salad.  “I don’t know, can we watch now, Mama?”

She bit the inside of her cheek, her eyes narrowing as she looked back at him.  “I’ll be right there, but just because Lily has waited long enough.”

This had the four-year-old climbing on him so she could look over his shoulder.  She bounced on his legs, her body vibrating with energy.  “Come on, Mom!  Come see the new Doctor!”

Kate laughed, and soon he could hear her approaching, her pace quickened as Lily became more and more excited.  She flopped down on the couch next to them, her legs tucked beneath her, the remote in her hand.  “Is everybody ready?”

Lily leapt out of his lap, standing between them and bouncing back and forth between her feet.  “Yes, yes, yes!  Hit play!”  She only stopped bouncing once the recording began to move, the soft sounds of the forest playing in the speakers.  Everyone in the room held their breath and watched the screen.

Everyone sat forward a bit at the sound of the Tardis, the key appearing in the Doctor’s hand.  Castle could feel his arms tingling at the sound, his nerves jumping at the single brown eye and the graceful curve of a cheek.  But when she, yes she, pulled off her hood to reveal her blonde bob, nothing could contain the squeals of delight from his daughter.

“A girl!  Daddy, the Doctor is a girl!”  She looked at him, her eyes so bright and full of hope, and he had to choke back his tears.  She looked back at the screen again, and bounced with delight.  “Mom, play it again!”

“Gladly.”  Kate rewound the clip, and focused her eyes on their little one.  Lily was just as excited the second time, getting closer to the TV like she thought she saw it wrong the first time.  Kate just watched, her hand over her mouth, rewinding the clip before the little one had to ask.

Castle leaned over and nudged her shoulder, catching the corner of her eye.  “What do you think?”

He couldn’t ignore the smile on her lips, the way her eyes shone as she watched their daughter.  “I always wanted a female Doctor.  I wanted to be the one flying the Tardis.”  She pulled her eyes away from Lily to meet his.  “I’m glad she gets to grow up in a world where she can.”her eyes drifted back to Lily, who was running around barking orders to her new companion, the giant teddy bear.  “What do you think?”

He shrugged.  “I don’t know her work.  But I know they must have chosen her for a reason.  I’m sure it will all work out in the end.”  He knew that people on the internet were losing their minds.  He had seen comments about people dropping the show if it went in this direction.  But he had faith in the show and it’s writers to do right by the actress.  And anything that made his daughter that happy couldn’t be a bad decision at all.

[iputmyselfintothenarrative]

We had our chance (Part 3)

Enter Jasmine and Anthony! Woo! So this AU and this timeline is a little wibbly wobbly. In celebration of reaching 200 followers JUST THREE DAYS AFTER REACHING 100 (Omg, I love you all! <3), I give you this really long part 3. Hopefully, you’ll enjoy it.

Part 1, Part 4, Masterlist

Pairing: Lin x Reader

Summary: Love is like a puzzle, you have to find the right pieces to create the whole picture. But what happens when the pieces are incredibly small and easy to loose?

Warnings: This will contain angst. Not only angst, a little fluff as well, but the ride won’t really be an easy one.

Wordcount: 3,463

-Present day-

You had no idea why you were so nervous. Your feelings for him was long gone, and you hadn’t even thought about him that much in the past few months, other than the occasional Facebook and Twitter posts. Yet here you were, standing outside the café with your hand hovering over the door knob. A dark-haired ponytail on the backside of a head had told you that he was already in there, sitting with his back against the exit. So he hadn’t noticed you yet.

A part of you wanted to turn around and just go home again, since you knew that this was kind off a bad idea. In fact, your brain had been screaming this at you for the past days since you talked on Facebook, but your heart had apparently said another thing. You just didn’t know what it was saying exactly, just that it had urged you to agree to meet up with him.

With a deep breath, you finally pressed down on the door knob, entering the café. Your heart was beating faster and faster as you closed in on his back, but completely stopped when he turned around to look at you. As per usual, he greeted you with a big and warm smile. “Y/N!” he said and stood up, raising his arms slightly to hug you, but stopped midway through the action. You wanted to hug him back, but couldn’t seem to bring yourself to do it. Instead, the two of you just stood there, looking at each other.

“Hi, Lin! It’s so nice to meet you.” you said, trying to sound as natural as you possibly could, trying to get rid of the awkwardness. It seemed to work.

“It’s nice to meet you too! Here, have a seat.” he said and proceeded to pull out the chair for you.

“Wow, thank you! Such a gentleman, as always.” you said with a wink and sat down. As soon as he had made sure you were comfortable, he took his own chair, sitting down in front of you.

“So, uh…” he said, lightly tapping on the table, as he seemed to gather the courage to look you in the eye.

“Have you tried their blueberry waffles? They’re really good.” he said, pointing to the menu above the cashier’s head. “No, I haven’t actually! Is that what you’re having?” you asked him, following to where he pointed. The waffles actually sounded great. When you turned back to look at him, you realized that he was already looking at you. No, not looking. He was watching you.

“Yeah.” he said after a few seconds of silence.

You really didn’t know what to think of it. You met his gaze with the belief that he would look away, but he didn’t. After a moment, you looked away, finding yourself to be a bit uncomfortable. Not that he made you feel uncomfortable, or that his way of looking at you made it either, but it was how he managed to awaken those butterflies in your stomach that had been dormant for so long. Those butterflies he awakened for the first time all those years ago.

“Then I’ll have them too! If they’re disgusting, I’ll blame you.” you said, looking back at him, smiling teasingly. This seemed to have snapped him out of the thing he was doing, as he leaned back against the backrest.

“Oh no, you can’t blame me for your poor life choices. And besides, if you don’t like them, you have really weird tastebuds.” he said, shooting you an equally teasing smile.

Was he flirting with you? Or more importantly, were you flirting with him? It couldn’t be. He was engaged.

As you got the waffles, you confirmed that he had been right. They were delicious. He seemed to think the same, as he had downed about half of them in only one go.

“So, you said something about a musical?” you asked him, taking another bite out of your second waffle, giving you an excuse not to look at him.

“Yeh! Itsh abowt ham-” he interrupted himself, as he realized that talking with your mouth stuffed with waffle wasn’t really working out. He managed to swallow the bite, and put the fork down next to the plate.

“Sorry. Yes, it is a hip hop musical about Alexander Hamilton.” You almost froze, losing the fight to not look at him.

“What? Alexander Hamilton? Like as in the founding father? First secretary of the treasury? That Hamilton? HIP HOP?” you realized you were rambling a bit, but you hadn’t really expected that.

“Yes, I’ve actually been working on it for years.” he said with excitement in his eyes. Something told you that he was used to that surprised reaction when telling people about it, as he looked at you with a smirk on his face. Like he was telling you that this was going to be good.

He went on to explain how Alexander Hamilton, just like modern hip hop artists, wrote their way out of their circumstances, and how hip hop can be used to tell a story.

You couldn’t help but be impressed. As usual, he was really smart and creative, reminding you of why you were so attracted to him in the first place. His very visual description made you smile. He was clearly really excited and proud of his work.

“Wow. I’m really proud of you, Lin.” you said with the truest form of sincerity there was. The smirk on his face was replaced by a genuine smile, as he looked at you with the same kind of admiration as before.

“Thank you.” he nodded as he said those words. As usual, you were completely drawn in by him, making you completely forget the fact that he hadn’t mentioned his fiancée at all.

–

-July, 2013-

It was a week after the party. A couple of days ago, he had, to your excitement, texted you and invited you to go with him and a couple of his friends on a short camping trip. Of course you expected his girlfriend to be there, even though he hadn’t mentioned her when he told you about who were coming with you. You had decided to go anyway, because why not? He was now, to your knowledge, your friend. And besides, it was only for one night so if it sucked completely, then you would be out of there pretty fast.

With the backpack full of warm clothes, and a sleeping bag under your arm, you closed the door to your apartment building and looked around on the street. They were supposed to pick you up, and Lin’s text consisting of a “Hey, yo, we’re here!”, had led you to believe that you could expect a car to be there already.

But no. You picked up your phone to text him about their whereabouts, but before you could open the messenger app, you noticed a car coming towards you. And when it stopped right in front of you, you could clearly see Lin’s excited face almost staring at you from the passenger seat in the front of the car. Before the car had stopped completely, the door flung open.

“Get in, get in, get in!” he gestured towards the backdoor of the car, which simultaneously opened to reveal a free seat. A smile spread across your face as you hurried to take your seat. You didn’t really know why you hurried, but since Lin seemed to be in such a hurry, you felt obliged to make it quick.

“Geez, you’re acting like we’re being chased by the police or something!” you exclaimed as you shut the door.

“Oh, but we are! Lin told us about all of your crimes. I think they’re on to us!” the man in the driver seat turned around to look at you. He had freckles and looked a bit younger than Lin did.

You didn’t immediately connect the dots about what he was saying. Instead, you just looked at the freckled man with a confused look on your face.

“You know it is a crime to steal an old lady’s groceries, ma’am?” he continued with a grin on his face, letting his gaze wander from you to Lin. “Shut up, Anthony!” Lin said, turning to face forward. You couldn’t tell if he was blushing or not, but judging by the now crossed arms, he probably was. If it hadn’t been for that detail, you might have been annoyed at them, teasing and reminding you of one of the worst days of your life. It just indicated that he had remembered everything you talked about in February.

“Hey guys, leave her alone!” the girl next to you said, rolling her eyes at them. “Hi, I’m Jasmine. You can call me Jazz!” she said, offering a handshake. You gave her a grateful look, taking her hand and shaking it.

“Hi! My name is Y/N, nice to meet you!” you said, immediately taking a liking to her.

“Oh, I don’t get a hello…” you could hear Anthony mumble from the front seat.

“You don’t deserve one!” Jasmine almost shouted and poked his head with her index finger. They both started laughing. This group obviously came with some banter and teasing, but you didn’t mind. They had made you feel at home as soon as you got into the car.

There were only four of you in the car. You, Lin, Anthony and Jasmine. No girlfriend. The thought that she maybe was supposed to meet you at the camp site crossed your mind, but as Lin suddenly blasted songs from the cast album of Les Misérables at a very high volume, you soon forgot about it.

The trip to the site took you about an hour. That hour didn’t involve so much talking, since you all had sang along with the musical songs playing. Jasmine’s voice had blown you away to the moon and back.

After you had put up the tent, there was still no sign of a girlfriend. Which was good, not only because of your obvious feelings for Lin, but also, it would be really crammed if five people were to share that tent. It would still be crammed with the four of you, but. You know.

“Ah, we’ll have to cuddle up for real in there tonight!” Lin said, as he stood with his arms crossed, observing the tent. You could feel the redness spread across your face, but tried to hide it by continuing to stare at the really small shelter.

“Can’t wait!” Jasmine said, wrapping one of her arms around Anthony’s waist, something he responded to by doing the same.

The realization hit you, that those two were probably a couple, or at least dating. What that meant for you that night, you tried not to think about. Instead you just displayed a laugh that may or may not have been perceived as awkward.

With everyone doing their assigned tasks flawlessly (you got fire duty, which you took care of without any bigger issues), you were all able to gather round the fire before sundown. You all had a stick with a marshmallow stuck on top of it, slowly roasting. Jasmine and Anthony were curled up tightly together on one of the three logs that surrounded the fire. Lin was sitting on one of them by himself, and so were you. He had sat down before you, leaving you with the incredibly awkward choice of if you should sit down next to him or to sit by yourself. You had chosen the latter, not knowing what was actually going on between the two of you. Sure, he acted a bit flirty, but maybe that was what he was like to everybody.

“Y/N, your marshmallow is almost falling off into the fire.” Jasmine’s words shifted your focus from yourself to the very exposed marshmallow hanging on on a mere thread.

“Oh!” You tried to remove it from the fire, but it was too late. With big disappointment, you saw how the marshmallow slowly fell down into the fire, being engulfed by the flames.

“…Well. That’s tragic. I really wanted that.” you said with a bit of an exaggerated dramatization of your voice.  

“You have to not stick it so far. Just let it rest on top, like a mushroom head.” Lin said, swaying his own stick a little out of the fire to show you.

“Oh, I think I know how to do it, thanks.” you said, giving him a smirk. Somehow you liked the friendly banter. You didn’t know why, but it was probably because that meant you got his attention somehow. But you were not flirting. No, totally not.

“Well, apparently, you don’t.” he answered, gesturing with his hand towards the fire. “I think I can still hear the tiny marshmallow screams. You monster!” he said as he leaned forward a bit, pretending to listen to the alleged screams he was “hearing”.

You altered between looking at him and the fire a few times, trying to come up with a good witty response, but before you could say anything Lin had stood up.

“You know, you need to try again. I’ll get the bag!” he said, walking towards the tent. When he passed you, he gave you his own stick. You took it, but didn’t dare to hold it over the fire yet. You were so focused on it not falling off, you didn’t notice him coming back until you suddenly felt how someone sat down next to you. The warmth and the smell told you it was him before you even had the chance to look at him. You could feel your body tense up a bit, and how your heart started to beat a little faster. Determined to act totally chill, you looked up at him. His profile was closer than you thought, making your heart beat even faster.

“See, you have to like, slide it on carefully.” he said, demonstrating the act of marshmallow stabbing with delicate hands. They mesmerized you, seeing how they moved to almost like a choreographed pattern.

“Here, take it!” he said, giving the new one to you, making you hold two sticks. His hand closest to you was resting on the back of the log, just behind your back. You could feel his shoulder touching yours, making no effort to move away.

“I… I can’t hold both of them.” you were surprised by how composed and cool you sounded, despite of the situation.

“Of course you can! Look at you, holding the two of the at the same time! Good job!” he said, gesturing with his other hand, the one that wasn’t behind you. If you wanted to, you could just lean back and it would probably support you.  

“But you want to eat one of them later, right?” you asked him, letting one of the sticks drop a little closer to the fire. You could feel him tense up a bit.

“What are you doing?” he was obviously aware of what you were intending to do.

“I don’t know, I just… Since I am so bad at holding these, maybe I’ll drop them. I mean you worked so hard on them, it would be a shame if something were to…” you lowered the stick even more, watching how the marshmallow started to turn black. You turned your head to look at him.

“…Happen to it.” a teasing grin spread across your face.

When he turned his face to look at you, you were a bit surprised of how close the two of you were actually sitting next to each other. He seemed to have realized it too, as he quickly turned his head again to look at the slowly deteriorating marshmallow, reaching for the stick with his free hand.

“You’re evil.” he said after he had saved it, putting it down on the ground with the marshmallow side up.

“Yeah. I’m a criminal, don’t you remember?” you knew he couldn’t see you, since you were facing his profile, but that didn’t stop you from giving him a smile.

“So you’re finally admitting it?” he asked you, again turning his face, locking his eyes with yours.

“Well, good luck proving it. You’ll never catch me alive!” you said, giving him a little push with your shoulder.

He didn’t say anything this time. Instead he just looked at you for a second, seemingly observing what every part of your face was doing. Suddenly, he leaned back a little, grabbing his chest.

“Agh, you have stolen my heart.” he said, standing up without letting you go with his gaze.

“How is that for proving?” he winked at you.

This time, you couldn’t really hide the fact that you were blushing. He was probably saying it as a joke, or possibly a way of flirting, but you knew that you hadn’t really stolen his heart. Atleast not in that way. You decided to play along.

“Yes, and I will keep it, and feed it and call it Ingrid.” you said, holding up your hands, pretending to pet something in your hand.

“I have some objections on the name. We’ll talk about that later, mark my words!” he said with determination.

A little later, as you were all preparing to go to bed. You and Jasmine had already gone to bed, completely covered by your sleeping bags. It was going to be a cold night you realized as you were freezing even though everything but your nose was covered. Anthony’s loud shivering was also giving it away, as he seemed to struggle with unzipping his own sleeping bag. You couldn’t see it, but the noises made it obvious. “Babe, come here!” you could hear Jasmine say.

Suddenly, you felt someone lying down next to you, making you wiggle around in the sleeping bag, trying to get the air hole to where your eye was, but to no avail. Your nose prevented it from moving to much.

“I don’t know if I should warn you that I am a snorer or not.” Lin’s voice made it clear that it was he who was lying next to you. Pretty close as well, judging by the distance of the voice.

“Oh no, is that payback from the heart theft and all that?” you mumbled. He had clearly heard you, since he was responding with a laugh and a “Yeah.”

As soon as everyone was lying down comfortably, the small talk died out as people were falling asleep. But not you, however. His closeness made your heart beat a little faster, making it hard or you to relax. He wasn’t touching you in any way, however, probably because he weren’t sure that you were down for it. But as the night grew colder, you eventually started to shiver. You tried to move around a bit, in the hopes of getting your circulation running again, but to no avail. Sure, it was July, but it was still cold as hell. The air you breathed in almost cut through your lungs like an arrow, making it nearly impossible to get warm enough to be able to relax.

“Are you cold?” Lin’s voice was quiet, but clear enough that you could hear him.

“Mhm.”

“I can try to make you warm if you like to?” his voice was almost a whisper in your ear, making you shiver, this time not from the cold. Right now, you really didn’t care about what anyone thought. You were just thankful for the body heat you could get access to, and of course, the fact that it was HIS body heat.

“Mmm.” you let out with a shivering voice.

You could feel him starting to move, pulling down his sleeping bag a little so that he would be able to reach you. After a little while, you could feel a warm and strong arm sliding over your waist, pulling you closer. When your back met his chest you could feel how his body heat slowly started to reach you as well. The faint feeling of his heart beating against your back drew out a smile on your face, a smile that you knew no one could see.

After about twenty minutes, you could hear his snoring slowly accelerating. But somehow, that didn’t bother you.

You closed your eyes, and let yourself fully surrender to his embrace. Wishing that you could hear those snores everyday for the rest of your life.