#been working for 13 hours everyday and it just drains my soul at this point

[dualisume]

.

[herblogsbysabrina]

Ways to Find You...Again

      With everyday life comes new challenges and sometimes the daily mundane tasks seem like endless lists of “to do” and what didn’t get done the day prior. We all tend to create these checklists in our heard-or on paper, that’s where I’m most productive. But what is it that we have to be most in order to get those tasks done? We must be grounded-centered as a human being. If we are off so will the day be! If we don’t take the time to take care of ourselves others around us suffer as well. We do not give our all when we are drained. I once heard “If your cup isn’t full how do you expect to pour out abundance to others?” By creating a well-balanced self, we can actually tackle the day with a better attitude. 

      A solution to this is stop to think about yourself for once. No, it isn’t selfish, its self-less. Doing something nice for yourself or getting back to remembering who you are as person before marriage, kids and even your job, will help you be more grounded. And if you’re worried about budget don’t be! There are plenty of free activities that require no money or very little. So, if you must budget for it-do it! I promise you; you won’t regret it! Some of these activities can be to just simply “Stop and smell the roses”. Literally! We get so catch up in this hamster wheel of life that we forget the beauty that nature has to offer. By taking the time to love yourself, appreciate nature and enjoy a little alone time you will quickly see how relaxing it can be. The calming effect it gives you is priceless! SO, get out there and go for that walk because not only is it good for your health but good for your soul. You’ll really learn to appreciate the little things and life around you!

     Secondly, take a drive. Find a place you’ve been wanting to explore and go. It doesn’t have to be a million miles away it can be in your very own state. I have learned that most people never even leave their own city to ever explore what the world has to offer them. When I lived in Italy our family use to just hop in the car and drive 30-45 following the sign to whatever city we could venture out to for the day. We would visit markets, restaurants and site see. And believe me it was beautiful. We made so many memories and again priceless! 

      OK, in order to have a “full cup” maintaining a proper balanced meal is crucial to the energy levels you’ll have when tackling everyday tasks. I know it sounds like it may not fit but getting back to you with eating can probably be number one in my opinion but I know this area is a real struggle in this day and age so we’ll leave it as a work in progress number 3 on the list. The correct “fuel” you live on can make a world of change. No one person alone can survive off fast food or artificial anything-I mean you could, but it wouldn’t be healthy. We’re looking for lifelong changes and a conscience awareness of “we are what we eat” mentality. There are tons of recipes out their where you literally could have something different every time you ate! But don’t take my word for it-try it for a few months, switch up how you cook( ingredients and oils etc..) and what you eat and see how much energy you gain or how your body starts to respond to your everyday tasks. 

       Now if you know me you should know I’m not leaving this blog without mentioning exercise. Yes, we all hate it, but it is necessary and a big game changer when it comes to having tons of energy. Exercise, along with changing what you eat, plays a big role in even wanting to function for the day. Ever just roll out of bed wishing you could just lay there for another 6 hours!! Yes that was me and I still struggle with not going to bed on time and suffering from insomnia because my mind won’t shut off (which, by the way, can be a whole other blog post). I know that implementing a workout routine and giving my body just a few minutes daily to maintain its function, so it doesn’t wither away as I age, will not only help me in the long haul but I’m essentially “feeding” my body what it needs so it can stay functioning for me on a daily basis. You can pick from an array of workout modules from Zumba (my favorite high intensity calorie burning exercise), punching a bag at the gym, weighting lifting and running, to something as low intensity as aerobic exercise (jogging, bicycling etc…). All of these are an excellent way to one find an activity you like and have some alone time to yourself. It’s a win-win!! 

      Now for more “cup filling” let’s get into what you would like to do. How about a spa day with mud masks or a nail salon visit? This can be done at home or if you have the extra cash, go let someone else do it for you! Riding a bike? Crafting? Listening to music and painting? There are a lot of activities that can be done solo or with friends. I would have to say just go do something, anything! The whole point I’m trying to make is that we often take time to care for all those around us without ever complaining or remembering ourselves in the equation. We tend to leave our goals, likes and needs on the back burner, selflessly slaving away to everyone else. And let me tell you when that flames burns out, so will you! This is when we see ourselves not as ourselves. We snap and lash out in anger at friends, family and co-workers. You become a ticking time bomb ready to blow up at any little inconvenience or situation. This catastrophe could’ve been avoided if we just stop to take two minutes for ourselves.  Now there are tons of things you can do to take time for yourselves. I have listed below some ideas to get you started and believe me when I say the possibilities are endless if your creative enough, you’ll add more to my list. It really all preference. 

1.Go for coffee/tea

2.Go to a tanning salon

3.Do your nails (at home)/visit a salon

4.Take a hot soak& listen to music

5.Learn to do your makeup

6.Light some candles & meditate

7.Do Yoga/Zumba/any new exercise routine

8.Home facials or visit a spa

9.Go for a walk or bike ride

10.Get a massage

11. Go get a haircut

12.Take yourself to dinner 

13.Check out a concert

14.Take yourself to the movies

15.Learn a new hobby/craft

16.Buy yourself something nice you’ve been wanting

17.Read book/Write poetry

18.Journal

19.Listen to self-help books

20.Learn to garden (start small!)

21.Take a nap! (cause let be real when is the last time you did that?)

Conclusion:

 When you start to make little changes of loving yourself, you’ll start to see a world of difference in your attitude, functionality of self and the appreciation of those little things around that we fail to see when we are all caught up in the mundane. I’m not saying jump and do everything all at once-no, take your time! Schedule yourself a time to do at least one thing nice for yourself this month. Than work your way to every other week or once a week. The biggest obstacle in your way is you. Just go do something-anything! Having a clearer mind and lower levels of stress sounds like win-win to me! 

So, what will you challenge yourself to do first? 

#selflove #health #activites

[angeltriestoblog]

Unnecessary life update

i.

I have officially made it to the halfway point of this quarter. And I don’t mean to sound morbid but I didn’t expect to at all!

It’s just that I’ve recently learned that chronic sleep deprivation actually does lead to premature death and I’ve slept at three in the morning everyday since I started online schooling. (Though actual scientific evidence has always been available on the Internet, I found it easier to believe that this was a hoax.) But concerning as it may be, the past two weeks have been so demanding of my time and energy, resting didn’t seem like an option.

ii.

Much to the dismay of Freshman Angel, most organizations in Ateneo require an interview as part of the application process. I remember signing up for three departments in my home org back then: I sweated my way through one screening, completely flunked the other, and ghosted the last. I also applied to be part of our hosting pool and made a run for it at the last minute: despite having spent only two weeks on campus, I easily found a secret passageway leading to the nearest exit just so that I wouldn’t have to run into the officer in charge of my audition.

Given the unfortunate display of cowardice, it’s hard to believe that this year, I found myself on the other side. I conducted several ICs (rebranded to individual conversations) in an attempt to welcome freshmen, give them a picture of what awaits them in ACTM, and hopefully serve as one of their first friends, if I built enough rapport with them. 

The week after, I had to conduct interviews and screen all hopefuls who wanted to make it into my department. I only spoke with 13 of them through a screen but I had to go through three times more application forms, interview footage, and assessments to determine who would make it to our final line-up. One night, I binge-watched the recordings of all the interviews I conducted in chronological order and I didn’t know if I found my waning energy levels depressing or funny. Toward the last few, I refused to turn on my camera because I had gotten a sudden allergy attack.

iii.

And as if the load I bear as an associate vice president in ACTM wasn’t heavy enough, I joined five other orgs last recruitment week. I wouldn’t go and call the quarantine a blessing because I’m not an asshole but these past few months have made me realize that I want to do and be so many things in life and I missed the opportunity to start on them earlier, since I spent the first few years of college hanging around with no end goal in mind. So in a fit of impulsiveness, I signed up for:

The Development Society of the Ateneo, where I will be working either as an advocacy or consultancy trainee under the research and development department (depends on how my interview this Thursday fares);

Ateneo Education Geared Towards Empowerment, where I will be gathering data from our partner communities to help the organization provide quality education given the online setting;

Ateneo Association of Communication Majors, where I will be under the research and development department yet again of MIRLab, their documentary production house;

Ateneo PEERS, where I will be part of a peer support program intended to help in my self-improvement, and that of others as well;

Project Kabuhayan, where I will be participating in initiatives geared towards empowering micro, small, and medium enterprises

I had general assemblies for most of them: had to ditch two for a midterm, and will be watching the recordings tomorrow. I didn’t even have to talk in any of them; simply watch the officers speak about their projects for the year then head on over to my designated breakout room. But the mere idea of being perceived by hundreds of Zoom call participants was already enough to drain my social battery.

iv.

To top it all off, my major tasks for all three subjects I’m taking this quarter were due last Friday. I had a group podcast for Philosophy class which we had to shoot twice on the busiest day of my week. I wanted nothing more than to get it over with, so when we wrapped up our first attempt, we were ready to let it go through some rushed post-production and submit it without giving it a second look. But I couldn’t stomach the thought of submitting subpar work when the task is supposed to be easy, given enough discipline.

Another group I was a part of had a marketing plan (you’ll never guess which subject it was for) that proposed the rebranding of Adidas Originals to cater to an older target market, or “the active ageing”, as we liked to call it. We only found out a couple of hours before the deadline that our professor was not accepting anything over 10 pages just when we had hit the 40-page mark. All of our well-researched, comprehensive parts had to be cut down significantly, which was the equivalent of flushing many sleepless nights down the drain.

And of course, I had a case study and midterm to accomplish for Law. The minute I received the message confirming the submission of my answers, I plopped down on my bed and napped. Later on that night, I released all the pent-up tension in me by going on my first ever e-numan. I never got the logic behind drinking alcohol in front of my computer: I always thought it was a sad attempt to replicate the bustling nightlife of Katip or the intimate energy of barkada chillnumans in condominiums. But I guess all I needed was the right company, and some sweet-tasting Novellino.

Anyway, before this turns into a full-on advert for a brand that isn’t even sponsoring this post, let me move on.

Reading that probably exhausted you. As the one who had to live through all that, I can tell you: it was even more hectic than you think. Before this pandemic was a thing, my schedule was clear-cut. I could tell the days of the week apart, and appreciate the endless possibility brought by Friday evenings. I could wake up at eight on Saturday morning, smile to myself because of how early it is, and go back to sleep without any feelings of guilt.

Now, the line that separates work and home has been completely obliterated. The Internet promotes that I have to be at the top of my game all the time. Every moment spent in rest and recreation is a moment wasted when there’s so much to do, always somewhere to be even if I’m technically not allowed to leave the comfort of my own home. 

I would sometimes report to my friends that I threw my circadian rhythm out the window, which would be met with the same well-meaning outcries. “What the hell! Drop all your commitments! Pace yourself! Sleep early!”. I think they know by now that this often falls on deaf ears. Ironically, whenever I observe or hear of friends falling into the same patterns as me, I’m often one of the first to reprimand. I sentence them to early bedtime like a stressed suburban mother of two, and check in on them constantly to see if they’re doing alright. I tell them not to pressure themselves to perform at their very best, while working myself to the bone, writing this ~2,000 word essay at half past two in the morning.

But one conversation I had with one of my friends stood out. He told me how proud he was of me: that even if I’m so busy juggling so many things, it all pays off in the end because I’m genuinely happy and fulfilled. I get to see the fruits of my labor and share it with the world.

Which is so true. I honestly enjoy the success that comes from this hyperproductivity, and take pride in the output that I manage to churn out. I’m willing to give up hours of sleep if it means getting to do what will help me make my pipe dreams a reality, or create something that sets my soul on fire.I don’t mind going out of my comfort zone if it’s to talk to new people who have the potential of being some of my greatest friends in the future, or advocating for causes that I’m passionate about. 

In fact, I am so willing to prolong my period of working to welcome the new members of my department or create even more articles to talk about pressing cultural phenomena. It will be hard as hell while the sacrifice is still ongoing but I always know that it will lead to something greater and bigger than I am. 

Besides, when I feel like I can no longer take it, I don’t think I’ll have it in me to force myself. It might not look like it but I am afraid of the serious health risks and will try to slot in more time for sleep if need be. But I have no plans of backing out of anything right now since I’m still on top of everything. Guess I’m fueled by a genuine desire to give/be/do as much as I can, while I still can. 

v.

Where did this post even go, honestly… This was supposed to be a simple life update, complete with a pop culture recommendation to supplement my experiences. I did not expect it to spiral the way it did so now I have no idea how to transition from one part to the next in a way that isn’t entirely awkward. Oh well.

I managed to preserve my sanity these past two weeks by listening to only one artist. Anyone who follows me on Spotify must think that their Friend Activity tab is glitching but the rumors are indeed true: I have been listening to chosen songs from The Boyz’ discography on a constant loop, like an actual zombie. Count on me to get into a new K-Pop group during the busiest week of the quarter as a coping mechanism.

I was an anti of this group when they first debuted because they are home to a former Produce 101 contestant whom I hated. (Still do, up to now. Don’t know how to reconcile my conflicting feelings.) So you could say I was heavily biased from the start and refused to give them a chance. Thankfully, one of my best friends recently converted after watching them on Road to Kingdom and sent me some of their performances to reel me in. Since I am a girl with a working brain and pair of eyes, I was easily impressed. When they came back recently with The Stealer, I officially fell and made no active efforts to get up.

If there are any Deobis reading, (1) congrats, you are a person of taste; (2) please be my friend. My current favorite songs other than their latest title track are No Air, I’m Your Boy, and Break Your Rules. I’ve also started most mornings with their Danger live stage. Who needs caffeine when you have acrobatic stunts and good-looking men?

I also have a lot of exciting things coming up, which I just felt the need to share:

I’m going to be a panelist at a talk for Developh, an organization I’m a part of which leverages technology for social good. This Friday, October 16th, I’ll be joining three brilliant go-getters from different fields to talk about my internship at makesense Philippines (which warrants another blog post) as well as my experience as a freelance writer. 

I have a couple of published pieces in the pipeline right now that I absolutely cannot wait to share! I honestly think they’re some of my favorites. Over the past few weeks, I have written about Internet study communities, the Subtle Asian Dating Facebook group, and unpaid internships. I’ve also pitched a couple more to my bosses and they’ve given me the green light at the same time so yes, once again, I am running on tight deadlines.

I’ll be applying for internships once this quarter is over and I’m already considering a couple of start-ups as good prospects. I’m making my personalized CVs for each company and saving the contact details of the designated point people in a neat little Notion spread for easy access.

Feels weird to end this post with stay safe and healthy, and don’t forget to rest. Maybe I’ll just make that a note to self.

Love and light,

Angel

[mizzcarey]

Empath with sociopathic tendencies.

Now I am fully aware of how those don't go hand in hand. They are both on completely different sides of the spectrum. Allow me to explain.

Let's go back to my first memory of realizing that I was an empath. I was maybe 4 years old, and walked into the living room to watch TV with my uncle. He looked fine, like it was just a normal day and I was gonna ask him if we could watch cartoons but instead Ifelt a pull towards him almost as if there was an invisible rope and my vision seemed to zoom at him even though I hadn't really moved, then the pain came. My chest became so heavy that I could hardly breathe, and I felt physical pain in my heart, it was my first time as a 4 year old experiencing the pain of a heartbreak. I didn't understand anything that was going on at the time but I knew that I was feeling what he was feeling. I ran up to him and cried and told him I loved him and he picked me up and we broke down. My mom ran in the room to see why we were in hysterics and he told her what I had done. Looking back that was my first sign that some people from mom's side of the family were also empaths. My mom understood immediately and sent me to my room to talk to my uncle and as I eaves dropped I heard him say that I am also gifted.

This continued as I got older but certain aspects dulled a bit as a grew. I realized I could only hone in on people close to me and only if they were feeling some sort of emotion, I couldn't do it with strangers or people that I had no sort of connection too. When someone I loved was hurting I started trying to take their pain onto myself, as if to share the burden so they didn't have to bare it all themselves. I now understand that I was absorbing some of the negative energy from them and replacing it with my positive energy which drained me hard and was why I often didn't feel good. With my Nana's help I also was able to apply the same technique to dull physical pain too. My nana was in the hospital with a broken leg, and she asked me to put my hand on her leg and point my other hand to the floor, she told me to envision the flow of energy as I pulled it from her leg allowing it to flowing through my body and push it out through my other hand. I got physical ill afterwards. I was drained further than I ever had been before.

So with that being said, I want to get into how I changed. My dad met this girl, she seemed great at first but I couldn't ever hone in on her which bugged me. No matter how close I got to her, how much I opened my energy to her, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't connect to her. Let's call her E. Right before I turned 13 my mom and her husband separated and she relinquished all parental rights of me so she didn't have to pay child support and I went to live with my dad and E. Things were great, until she started treating me different when my dad wasn't around. It started by her twisting my words around when I would talk to make me seem ungrateful or like a bad person and then dismiss me as argumentative when I tried to clarify. It started as maybe a once in a while thing and then eventually it was something she did multiple times a day and usually unprovoked with me not even having to say anything based on topics she had twisted my words on previously, by that point she was doing it in front of her family and I had given up defending myself. I was seen by everybody as a troubled child and I could feel how people felt towards me. I had stopped defending myself by that point, realizing that it would only make me look worse. My reputation was shattered and she was hailed as the hero who took in and cared for a troubled child as her own while I put her through anguish everyday. Even my own family started believing E. By that point she could just make up blatant lies about me and people believed them even my dad. I started to believe them too. I soon believed that I was a horrible person who could never do or say anything right and was just a waste of space. I began to self harm in various ways, I got satisfaction from pain, with pain came a release that I needed. My dad took my to the doctor and had me put on antidepressants, not like a therapist or a physiciatrist but a family doctor and I was forced different meds to see what would work, it got to the point where they were ready to start giving me cocktails of antidepressants mixed together in combination because to everybody else I must have some sort of chemical imbalance since I had such a perfect life when people were around. I finally found a medication that semi worked, but instead of making me feel happy, it just made me feel numb. I was content in my zombie like state as I stared off at the wall unmoving for hours a day. The fact that I didn't have emotion anymore that she could prey on angered E more than anything. She would scream and shove and push me around. Throw things at me. Leave bruises on me. All while telling me that since I hurt myself then why isn't it okay for her to hurt me too. It progressed further than that to the point that I was scared for my life. I still to this day honestly believe that if I hadn't of gotten out when I did then she would've murdered me. One time she slammed my head into the washer as hard as she could and threw me to the ground because I had "washed my clothes on the wrong setting". Another time she held my head down in a sink full of water until I almost blacked out because I didn't know not to use soap on the porous slab of stone that she used to bake cookies on.

The only way she could get the response she wanted from me in my zombie like state was by beating me out of it. So I became everything she said I was and more. If I was going to be assaulted or punished for something she said I had done then I was going to earn it. I rebelled, I turned into a bad person. I flipped a switch and turned dark. What I could still feel from others as an empaths, I used against them. I preyed on them by using abilities that I had grown so out of touch with that I practically had to relearn. I even scared myself sometimes when that little good side of me would try to peek through a cinch in my homemade armor. I began beating her at her own game. Taking her words and twisting them. Making her feel crazy. Prying for and picking at any little detail I could snag onto that may reflect how she felt. I adapted to be like her. I romanticized killing her, playing out every possiblity in my head of how I'd do it.

One night my dad went to a party while E was supposed to be home when we were asleep, and supposedly she didn't want to be alone in the house with me. So she left, my dad came home and came in to my room to ask wake me up and ask where she was but I didn't know. When she came back my dad accused her of cheating and she accused him because he supposedly wasn't at the party where she had gone to look for him. They both were drunk and my dad went to grab her phone and she attacked him. He had claw marks on his face and was bleeding in a few places. Then she came in to my room and sat down on my bed, because he wouldn't fight her in front of his "precious daughter", he said get away from her or I'll drag you out of here so she grabbed my ankle and said if you're dragging me then you're dragging her too. So I kicked her off me and he yanked her out of the room. She called the police and said he assaulted. The police came and eventually made their way into my room to question me, they asked to see my finger nails (I'm a nail biter so I had no nails) and told me that she was accusing me of scratching up my dad's face and I said no and told them about how she cane in my room and threatened to drag me out of my bed by my foot because my dad wouldn't fight in front of me. So she went to jail and the next day filed an emergency PFA against us which meant we had to get all of our stuff out of "her" house and move within an hour while police were watching us before she came back home because she had been released on bail.

I haven't been on antidepressants or self harmed since I've broken all contact with her at 15 years old. I'm now 24 and I have made so much progress. I'm extremely proud of myself. I have re-lived over and over, analyzed, and conquered my flashbacks and nightmares. I've healed relationships with my family and friends. I FIGHT every day to not be the person I was turned in too. I constantly hold myself accountable and keep myself in check. I exercise extreme caution with my thoughts and words. In order to keep myself from hurting people like I had, I lost a lot of my ability to be as strong of an empath, but I now am able to sense people like E. I can spot someone like her just from their energy and vibe. People like her have a specific feel to them. I wish I could explain it better, but all I know is that I have learned to identify and protect myself from these people before they even say a word to me. My most recent test was when I was at work, I work at a gas station and a woman was screaming at and degrading me for something wildly outside of my pay grade to control and I felt myself slip, I didn't even say anything but it must've been the look on my face or the vibe I put off or my body language but I slipped to that dark side and she instantly backed off. I've blocked my husband in order to never be able to use it against him like I had done to other people in my past. The only person I will carefully allow myself to fully connect with is my child, because I believe it makes me a better mother. I can comfort his soul and calm his storms. I know what he needs by seeing through his eyes and feeling through his heart. I am his safety blanket and his comfort on a rough day. I need him just as much if not more than he needs me, because I am the best version of myself with him. And I know if anybody were to ever harm him in any way, my wrath is only a flip of a switch away.

[cookiepiefrenzy]

Integritale 13 - Inner Power

Once again, Sans woke up next to the sleeping Serifa. Thankfully, the damage his arm had taken in the previous timeline had disappeared. It did feel a bit sore, but he had no  problem moving it. He summoned a small magical bone just to test it, and nothing seemed wrong with his powers, either.

His last experience had made Sans realise something significant. If he was to make any plans to save Serifa, they had to work together. He couldn't tell her about her deaths of course, but she at least needed to know she was in danger.

He also realised that he had to make an important decision. It was apparent that, if they had to, the Royal Guards weren't going to go easy on him just because they were acquaintances. The pain on his arm was proof of that. That could only mean one thing: he had to fight back. He didn't want to do it. He didn't want to hurt anyone. He would try to avoid it as much as possible.

He looked at Serifa. She was sleeping so peacefully. He felt really guilty for having to wake her and tell her such a scary truth, but it was the only way.

-Serifa... Wake up, darling. he shook her.

-Good morning Sansy... she yawned.

-Sweetheart... I need to tell you something.

-Can't it wait..? I wanna sleep more... she complained.

-I'm sorry... It can't.

Serifa reluctantly sat up, stretching and rubbing her eyes.

-You have my attention... she mumbled, still sleepy.

-You...How do I say this... You are in danger.

-What do you mean...?

-Right now, outside the house, there are two Royal Guards. They know you're here and are waiting for a chance to...

-...To kill me... Serifa looked really sad. I guess...that's it. It was fun while it lasted...

-What are you saying? We will find a way to save you!

-Okay, maybe we'll escape from these two...then what?

-Undyne, the head of the Royal Guard is a close friend of mine and Paps. I'm sure that, if we talk with her, we can persuade her.

-I'm not so sure about  this...

-Please, sweetheart... Don't give up before we even try...

Sans's eyes teared up as he looked down. He had been through too many timelines already. He, himself had felt desperate a handful of times. And, as soon as Serifa learned the truth, she was ready to surrender. If this was going to work, he needed her support more than anything.

Serifa noticed how Sans's mood went downhill.

-A-Alright... Let's...try our best, okay?

-Yes...let's do that. Sans smiled, but the doubts had already taken over him.

They decided to stay in the house, making absolutely no noises and not responding to the bell. Maybe this way the Guards would think they weren't there and would eventually leave.

They were in Sans's bed together, hugging each other and holding hands, when they heard the bell for the first time. They held onto each other tighter, as the bell kept ringing.

-Sans! Are you in there?

They both stayed still, fearing that making even a single movement would give them away.

-Sans! Open, in the name of the King!!

They held tighter onto each other. The Guard stopped ringing or talking.

-Is he gone...? Serifa whispered.

-I hope so, but let's not rush to find out just yet, okay?

-Alright.

Serifa suddenly kissed Sans's lips, making him realise how long it had been since he last kissed her. All this timeleaping had taken over his mind so much, that he had forgotten how such a simple, everyday thing like a kiss could be liberating. He kissed her back passionately. His heart felt warm again. All his negative emotions had gone away. He knew they were going to make it this time. Because they were together.

Their kiss was interrupted by the bell, followed by the Royal Guard's voice.

-If you don't willingly open the door in the next five minutes, we have orders to force our way in!

-Just great... Sans whispered. Damn, I wish I wouldn't have to fight them... I'm weaker than both of them...and they are two.

-I can always surrender...

-No! Never! We'll just have to change our plan. I can't give up just because I'm weak! Brains over power!

-Okay, but what are we gonna do?

-I think I have an idea. Let's go to Paps's room. He has a huge wardrobe there. We can hide in it. Of course, they won't leave the house without searching everywhere... But maybe we can suddenly jump out, catch them by surprise and run outside.

-Where would we go then...?

-Grillby's, probably. Everyone loves you there. I believe they will hide us.

-Sounds like a plan then.

As soon as the Royal Guards started banging on the door, Sans and Serifa ran to the wardrobe in Papyrus's room. The sounds of the door banging covered their steps. The hid there together, held hands and waited. The unseen hooded figure watching them was rooting for their success.

Soon, they heard the door break down. Luckily, the armor the Guards were wearing was making their steps loud enough for them to hear. The steps went to Sans's room first. After a while, the steps grew closer. Papyrus's room's door opened. There was no doubt. It was time to make their move. Sans looked into Serifa's eyes and held her hand tightly. She nodded.

They jumped out of the wardrobe. Sans immediately summoned his magical bones, attacking the Guard. The bones made more damage than he expected, making the Guard fall down. They ran out of the room, went down the stairs and headed for the door. Unfortunately, a surprise awaited them. The second Royal Guard was at the door for them. Only the first of them had gotten into the house in the first place.

-Quick, through my window! Sans shouted.

They started running back to the stairs, when they realised that the first Guard had gotten up and was walking towards them. He was wounded from Sans's attack, but still looked pretty strong. They were surrounded.

Sans pushed Serifa to the living room's corner and stood in front of her, covering her. Summoning more bones, he attacked the Guards. He was able to slow them down a bit, but they kept getting closer and closer.

-What are you doing, Sans?? one of the Royal Guards shouted.

-Leave him, he is too hypnotised to understand. Just focus on her!!

As they were trying to get closer, they unleashed their magical attacks. Sans was able to counter most of them with his bone attacks, but that gave the Guards time to get closer. One of their magical attacks hit his right arm, rendering it inoperative. Sans fell back, screaming in pain and  holding his shoulder. He could barely hold them back with both his arms summoning attacks, and now he could use only one of them. The Guards drew closer. Without thinking much, he leaned forward and raised his left arm in the air.

-NO!!!!! he cried in despair.

That was when something unexpected happened. Both the Royal Guards were violently pushed to the wall opposite him. Sans's eyes widened as he looked at his left hand. Had he done that? He hadn't even touched them, but no one else was in the room. Unless...

-Serifa...did you do that?

-N-No of course!! I can't do such a thing...

-Then...

The Royal Guards stood up again and ran towards them. The impact from the hit on the wall and the wounds from Sans's bone attacks had slowed them down quite a lot. They launched their magical attacks. Sans moved his left arm forward again, focusing on the Guards. Both them and their attacks got pushed to the wall again. Sans looked at his hand again and clenched his fist.

-Alright...Let's get out. he smiled with confidence.

Serifa grabbed him from his jacket and they walked towards the door, paying attention to the Guards' movements. They hadn't given up. They ran towards them again, this time from different sides. Because of that, Sans had to oust them with two different moves. The Guards kept attacking and Sans kept fending them off, slowly walking to the front door.

Suddenly, Sans's vision started fading. He hadn't realised how much of his energy his new-found power had been draining. Trying to push the Guards away again, he collapsed on the floor.

What happened next was blurry to him. He saw what he believed to be Serifa's form crying over him, begging him to come back to his senses. She must have been shaking him, but he couldn't feel anything.

-Run... he tried to yell, but was too weak to do so.

His voice wouldn't come out. Soon, two more shadows appeared, dragging Serifa away. He heard her scream. Everything turned black.

When Sans came to, he felt really dizzy. He realised he was on his bed, with Papyrus sitting next to him.

-Sans!! You scared me so much! What happened to you, brother?

-Let him rest. he heard a female voice from a distance.

The voice was familiar. In his dizziness, Sans hoped it was Serifa. He tried to speak, but ended up passing out again.

He woke up hours later. He felt a lot more stable and strong, but his right shoulder was in pain and the whole arm still wouldn't move.

-So...you're awake. the female voice came closer.

It was clear who it was now. Undyne sat on the bed next to Sans, glaring at him.

-Since when did YOU become strong enough to wound my Guards that much? her voice was deadly serious.

-I...don't know.

-For you to act this way... That human must have been strong. I know they can hypnotise you, but you went out and attacked your own people. Do you even remember what you did?

-W-Where...Where is she...?

-She's keeping company to the other four souls we gathered of course. What did you expect?

-You...you murd-

Papyrus suddenly barged in.

-Sans!!! I heard your voice! Undyne, why didn't you tell me he woke up? Are you alright, brother?

He looked really worried.

-I'm...alright Paps...

-I'm so happy... Papyrus sighed in relief. I still can't understand how she managed to trick us both... Especially me, THE GREAT PAPYRUS!

-She...didn't hypnotise anyone...

-What do you mean, Sans? Undyne shouted angrily. She clearly made you attack my Guards! She made you believe she was your friend. Isn't that true?

Sans realised it was pointless to try to explain anything. After him having attacked her Guards, Undyne would never believe him. And what was the point anyway? Serifa was dead again. He would need to go back eventually anyway.

-I'm...tired. he uttered, closing his eyes.

He had decided to rest a bit more to make sure he was strong enough to go back. He fell asleep.

When he woke up again, it was night. Papyrus had fallen asleep on a chair next to him, while Undyne was still watching him suspiciously. He didn't lose any time talking to her. His left eye flashed.