#bensler mention

[what-do-1000-swords-look-like]

So...just watched both crossover finales for SVU and OC.

I have mixed emotions. On one hand, it was nice to get the old groove of Benson and Stabler working together again. On the other hand, I want to look at the shows' writing teams & Graziano and go "Wtf?"

Let me see if I've got this straight... Rollins exited the show and Giddish is no longer a series regular, she left SVU to take a job as a professor, and we had a huge emotional farewell for her, her story was tied up nicely with her and Carisi getting married, etc...only for her not to deny Olivia's assessment of "You miss it, don't you?" And her confirming it by saying she loves her students but it's not what she thought it would be basically. We see that she's pregnant, something Carisi had told Benson a couple of episodes ago, and we also see Carisi becoming increasingly worried about impending fatherhood. I seriously doubt Kelli is coming back to the show but they have Muncey leave and STILL have this conversation happen between Benson and Rollins when it wasn't needed? It nullifies her emotional farewell to the show and all of the happiness fans had for her endgame (her marriage, her kids, her new career) and dilutes the reason for the conflict she initially had with Benson over her leaving.

And then Muncey leaving... Perhaps the actress Molly Burnett had another project, I'm not really sure what happened there. But we have yet ANOTHER spot to be filled on SVU and now also OC as well? I'm all for rotating new faces and stories but Muncey wasn't even here for a year. Should I expect Bruno to go somewhere in the beginning of the next season? Hard to maintain any emotional investment into these characters if they're just going to have short stints like this. TV is not the movies. TV characters stories' are meant to develop over time, that's the medium and type of story telling it has.

Speaking of which, WTF was that with Jamie? Again, maybe the actor Brent Antonello had another project on board, but what a brutal ending!!! And then to have the sociopath saved on top of it??? Also, why build up the relationship between him and Jet all season only to have it end in a phone call ILY that was one-sided due to him not returning the sentiment and that's the last thing he "says" to her ever?

And no goodbye convo between Benson and Muncey? Or Jamie and Stabler? Or even Velasco and Muncey really? He helps her carry her stuff to her car? And just a hug from Fin? That's it? Jamie, who was a practical mirror for Stabler? And while Benson and Jamie both getting hurt might be a parallel, again Jamie was a mirror for Stabler so how does Jamie not saying the ILY to Jet parallel? This just didn't make any sense to me.

And literally last episode, Benson and Stabler say that the almost kiss wasn't the right moment between them, but now they're just "partners"? He wants her to find her way to happiness? Okay, I can get behind that but then you have her watching after him like that? What? And Stabler already told Benson he loved her, so she knows this already, but when he says he was worried when he couldn't see and heard the shot...she tells him how terrible it must have been for him because it brings back memories about Kathy? I'm not saying she's wrong but make it make sense, people. D-E-V-E-L-O-P-M-E-N-T

Which we know they've thrown into the mix already because he tells Benson he's going on a job and she says "Thank you for telling me this time." So wtf was all the rest of this?

Idk if this was Graziano or what, but this episode single-handedly dismantled the Jamie and Jet relationship, the Velasco and Muncey relationship, and yep, the Bensler relationship. Not to mention they sidelined the Bell and Fin dynamic that we should have gotten to see more of.

And I'm going to say it, when is that Chief going to take a hike? Don't get me wrong, I like the actor, but no way in hell has his character gotten any development since he started deferring to Benson and working on himself. It's almost as if his behavior in this SVU finale undid all of that development and turned him into the asshole boss Benson battled with when he replaced Chief Garland (not that I understood why he and Kat were exited from the show back then either, especially when both actors said it was not their choice to leave the show).

I know OC has had a very high turnover for showrunners since Ilene and that has unfortunately sometimes been shown in the writing. But these two finales felt way off, from everything both shows have been building this past season (and even a little before that).

So I say to Graziano - wtf is going on?

[2ctheocean]

Hot take: EO is not ready to be together, no matter how much the fandom is ready for them to be. Elliot has barely acknowledged any of what had happened to Liv in the last 10 years. He hasn't asked. The one time he did, he fixated on her dating life. Not her kid, not her cases, not her trauma or how she made captain. Her dating life.

Doing all of that would mean admitting to her face that he was wrong to ghost her for a decade and that he regrets how much he missed (more than the half-assed version we got). Which will be hard for Stabler, who has a tough time being honest about his emotions anyway (the therapy is a FANTASTIC first step). Until he gets ALL of that information and tells her that, she's not going to be convinced he won't ever leave her again.

There's so much that's a part of her now that Stabler just doesn't know about.

And the one thing the fandom keeps forgetting is that Liv was traumatized by him leaving. One could argue Lewis was the peak of that truama on top of being his own hellbeast.

They were joined at the hip for 12 years. And then he just ghosted her. And for those four days when Lewis had her, she was forced to rely only on herself.

She's kept everyone else at a distance since he left. There have been dozens of moments in the last decade where she's been reminded of him-"did you really think he was going to look over one day and realize you were the woman he couldn't live without?"- But the last part of her that believed she wouldn't always need to save herself took a fatal blow when she saved herself from Lewis. Up until that moment, a small part of her geniunely hoped Elliot'd smash through the door and save her. She was thinking about him the entire time he was there.

But Stabler stayed gone, and she stayed alone, and she had to learn to be okay with it. His silence indicated to her that she wasn't in his thoughts, that everything she thought she knew about their bond wasn't real.

And then it was affirmed by Kathy's letter.

And then thrown off all over again by Elliot saying "In a parellel universe, it will always be you and I."

So. Many. Mixed. Signals.

Now he's back, and she's unwilling to take that wall down again because it's such a big risk. Ed was the only one after Elliot who even partially got through, and she did eventually shut him out when he got too close. Elliot has not earned his way back into her heart. He might have taken his first steps, but it's going to be a long road.

Or Benson is going to get abducted or something and Stabler's going to burst in and save her like he should have done a decade ago and it's going to make her understand that she can trust him again (this feels cheap to me as a social worker, but as a writer, it will make for great television)

This is all compounded by the fact that People. Keep. Walking. Out. On. Her.

The moment she forms what feels unbreakable, they're gone. The moment she feels safe and comfortable with them, they're gone. Munch, Craegon, Nick. Chief Dodds and his son. Barba. Stone. Kat. Garland.

And then Amanda almost died. And then Benson had to give her up too. Amanda, the closest thing she's ever had to a sister. Who's kids she's godmother too. The woman her son calls "Aunt" and has known since day one. Who has similiar problems and truamas, who was there for the worst moments of her life and went through her own with Liv right there.

I suspect the only reason Liv didn't take it even harder is because of Carisi. As long as she has him, Amanda's close by and she hasn't lost her completely. Amanda and Carisi are a packaged duo now (yet another set of partners Liv has watched get the happy ending she should have gotten with Elliot but that's another post).

She's still in a freefall though. It's why she's suddenly scrambling for reassurance from Fin that he's not leaving too. He's all she has left, the only one who's stayed. Ironically, he's the longest relationship she's ever had with a man now. Her brother in every way that matters.

Notice that while Fin struggles with Amanda leaving, he doesn't take it nearly as hard, at least that we've seen. He has Phoebe, after all. His partner- the one that mattered most, the one that came back. (All of this is being said before the Fin centeric episode in a week or two)

I've digressed here. Fin grounds her enough that she can keep working. He gets her to fill Amanda's desk. But she's still reeling. She's in no place to trust anyone new right now, or love anyone new.

And anything with Elliot she started right now would be new. Uncertain. And while she may know in her heart of hearts that he'll never leave her again, you cannot blame her for being tired of being hurt. That's what was happening when she stepped back from him to lean on the fridge. She wants to lean on him, fall into him, but she's so emotionally exhausted that she just can't risk it. She's Not Ready because she won't survive loving him again and then losing him again (too).

TLDR: I will defend Liv's reluctance to trust again to my dying breath and it's justified no matter how impatient I or the rest of the fandom get.

[bensonnstabler]

season 4 episode 22 is a blueprint for the lewis talk change my mind

i don't know if anyone has made this comparison before, but michael gardner of 4 x 22 is william lewis Lite™️. he is innocuously charming, psychologically manipulative, acts in his own defence to intimidate witnesses, has an affair with his lawyer and quote cragen "has a hard-on for olivia".

there are some very common hallmarks of 1.0 bensler in this ep, including protective!elliot (after gardner lays one on liv and we get possibly one of my most favourite tropes in drama [bad guy gets roughed up and they blame it on "accidental" trips and falls. yes i am referencing that scene in a scandal in belgravia and i'm sorry]) but also Big Emotions and liv driving an hour to sit sullenly on elliot's doorstep not knowing exactly was his plans were but knowingly inserting herself into his "one night as a bachelor".

if elliot came back sooner after lewis (like say in season 18/19) then i reckon that the convo they had on his doorstep in this ep could be a good indicator. it has liv being self deprecating/serving, elliot's idea of comforting her with the job (he's the job) and could easily translate or lend itself to a deeper place we'd expect them to go during such a chat

now obviously it's almost too little too late (i just wanna talk @warren leight) and if you want to read what in my opinion IS the frontrunner in the lewis chat prediction fics then head to svu-oc-obsessed's masterpiece here x

but i really want to see elliot get mad and protective and exasperated over liv's self sacrificial tendencies because god damnit if they're gonna take the next step she has to actually be in one piece to do it (it being whatever it is you fancy in this context)

tldr; this ep is a good one and set the foundation for an extended villain arc and therefore any subsequent Chat™️ between our favourite two idiots in love about such an event

full disclosure i really liked the lewis arc when i first watched it, and even learning abouts WL's exploits hasn't necessarily soured it beyond reproach. i am nervous as hell for this chat but if they keep this sort of formula as basis i believe it will come out half decent

✨️ this incoherent rambling is brought to you by holiday retail work induced delerium ✨️

[jacnaylor]

i know i've said it a million times but at this point it's genuinely hilarious to me that svu will mention elliot about once per season? and oc is just like 'oh no guys they're in love :)' like. at this point they're just fully co opting olivia benson and there's nothing svu can do about it

[the-chickenshit-oddity]

I'm a sinner

Things are never gonna be the same

You're my compass-spinner

Still, you keep my heart trapped inside of your birdcage

is that not the most EO coded thing?

[audiofanficpod]

A Cataclysmic Event by ChriskaAnon

Read by @red2007

*Trigger Warning for mentions of Lewis*

Please leave the author a comment if you enjoyed their story 😘

[ragingstillness]

Things I need from SVU that I’m probably never gonna get:

Eli finding out that Olivia literally delivered him

Meeting Elliot’s sisters

Olivia meeting all of Elliot’s siblings

Noah meeting Calvin

Eli calling Jet the sixth Stabler child

More Malachi I’m so pissed

Fin and Olivia smoking weed

Elliot getting a therapist

Elliot and his grandkids

Olivia punching someone in the face

Confirmation that Richard Wheatley is dead

A crossover with criminal minds

Joe Stabler shaving his awful facial hair or committing and going for a full beard

Randall hitting on Olivia and getting both brutally shut down and menaced by jelliot

An episode where Noah shows his mother’s compassion by connecting with the child of a victim and passing crucial information onto Olivia

Alex Cabot coming back and being gay married to Casey Novak

Liz returning as a judge I love her

Play date for Fin’s grandkids and Noah

Barba returning and helping out Elliot in some massive way, earning both his and Liv’s forgiveness

A bright-eyed rookie joining the squad who has a hero-worship of Olivia and has come through the academy hearing legends of Bensler

Elliot’s kids calling him out for being a coward in his relationship with Olivia

The Stabler children kidnapping babysitting Noah

Burton thrown in jail for all the shit he’s done

OLIVIA TELLING ELLIOT ABOUT LEWIS

Bonus: Elliot mentioning how they both have had bad luck with people named Lewis

A shirtless scene for them both where we actually see their canonical scars

Terrible middle-aged flirting

Elliot grappling with being a great grandfather and having a midlife crisis

Fin visiting Munch’s grave 😢

The Ghost of Kathy blessing Bensler’s union

Fin collecting an absolute shitton of money when Bensler finally get together

More Phoebe!

Beck getting a date with Vargas

Reyes sorting out his shit

Ayanna getting her kid back and a new wife

Olivia at a parent teacher conference

Noah introducing his friends to his mom

Olivia’s bitchy sorority sisters turning up and getting dunked on

Elliot getting to do some architect things

[hooty-1-6-svu]

Me trying to hold my scream in at work

I know they shot some scenes for episode 13, which is the finale.

Please, please, please let there be a Bensler moment in this episode. I like all the mentions, but I need to see them together on my screen soon or I may die.

[storiesofsvu]

Alright… season finale night! I am sat with my dinner and ready to GO!

I remember the promo for OG looking pretty good, so here’s hoping that sets the scene for tonight!

Okay, this starlet couple is giving taylor vibes… plus she says her fans can get a bit crazy and she’s had a stalker for years? Yeah… the writers are pulling from that here.. esp cause we already know the shooter was going for the DA so it's not like they're pulling from an actual case of the sports guy getting shot... lol

UGH I just remembered this is Kate’s last ep and now I’m sad (oh god I hope she doesn’t die…)

Man… if I’m ever a suspect I’m totally fucked cause I’m always just “uh.. I was at home… alone.” LOL.

Completely unrelated: I am freezing right now. WHY? It’s summer?! Its so warm outside!

Okay, I thought the find my phone app was only for apple? does android have a similar feature?

HOLY FUCK! SHAW IN THE WHITE TEE WITH THE VEST?! FUCK ME.

PLEASE! HE’S SO FUCKING HOT

“we’ll put eddie on the stand first thing tmr.” Yeah that bitch is gonna be dead.

Yup. Called it.

OHHkay, at least they mentioned a safehouse cause I was wondering why tf he wasn’t under protective custody

Can’t they just charge the guy for the murder of the sports dude and call it a day? Like, he’d go down for that for like what? 25 to life? (like, yeah I *get* *why* they want to prove that he was actually trying to kill the da, but like.. still)

OH MY GOD ESPECIALLY IF THERE’S SOME DEEP DARK SECRET HE HAS!!?? WTF??

Oh hot damn that is some fucking dirty laundry. And let me guess, her dad got the charges talked down….

Okay that wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been

THAT’S THE END OF THE EPISODE?!? DUDE.

Toronto:

Okay, that opening was actually pretty good and nearly hooked me in but I am making friendship bracelets and listening to swift as it plays so im not really paying attention. Lol.

Okay, affair. Sus.

LOL

My dumb ass saw a BTS pic of this opening scene and thought it was from a table read LOL.

“unknown subject” COME ON. You are not criminal minds guys!

K, im loving Velasco and Bruno being paired together, but it is just fueling this thurst…

What kind of person comes home to a dark apartment and doesn’t use their phone flashlight to get around?? Like, candles would not be my first instinct lol

“it’s our unsub” STOP IT! It’s been 25 years and you have always called them “perps” (yes, yes, I know it’s likely a common term among law enforcement –maybe?—but STILL). Like… on cm they have to explain the term to the locals, so this is just a CM fan on the writing team or something and I fucking hate it.

Velasco in yet another sweater that I am definitely stealing.

What happened to Lorraine Baxter? (that was her name, right?) did she step down after her husband died/was linked to a case? Cause I don’t think that was ever brought up but suddenly there’s a new person in her position?? (or was betty buckley just not available for this episode and they went lazy?)

OMG THE INSIDE OF A COURTROOM?? IT’S A MIRACLE.

Phoebe being out of town? Fin denied a beer from Velasco so he can go home and play video games all night.

Jfc. It’s been like 20 years since fin’s been shot. Ice out here earning his cheque this week.

KETO. LOL.

Bruh, olivia’s not gonna buy you fake ass story lol.

“if I say yes can I change the subject?” LOL.

Saw this in the promo and still fucking forgot it was going to happen.

WHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY are we still back with Maddy?!?

All the fans want is some actual family/found family shit WITH THE SQUAD. I don’t know a SINGLE person who has been happy to see any of the times maddy’s come back?

OHHHHHH IM DYING

BENSLERS???!! HOW ARE Y’ALL FEELING ABOUT OLIVIA GIVING AWAY THE FUCKING COMPASS??!! LOOOOOLLLLL

Like, I’m not the person for that ship, but they really have just been bating y’all all fucking season and FOR THAT?!

Oh HOLY SHIT we were actually given a phone call?! Now THAT was unexpected. Like, I GET it, having M or Chris guest starring on the other show would be such a fucking hassle when they have their own shows to run but like, just a hint of them trying to at least repair their friendship now that he’s been back in nyc for what? Like 3?4? years now? And there’s been nothing?? (im likely leaning more into this and being frustrated about it because ive been watching 1.0 again and seeing their dynamic and just how close and in sync they were all the time, like, even 10 years of radio silence there’s gotta be something there. I do get that if one or both had romantic feelings that it would feel like a bigger betrayal that would complicate upon reunion, but like, at the very least have them be besties working diff units please?)

Okay, that episode wasn’t great. It wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t great. Definitely didn’t feel like a season finale…

OC time…

Eli’s gf has to be pregnant, there’s no other explanation imo

Okay now THIS feels like the start to a season finale!

I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!! I KNEW IT! LOOOL to Bernie just instantly knowing.

Family dinner sounds like a fantastic idea now that eli’s gf is knocked up and Elliot doesn’t know and joe’s running around being a literal criminal. I cannot wait to see this Bernie. (there’s no sarcasm there. I really hope it happens)

Does joe know/realize that elliot’s currently working this case? Like, that both of them could get killed when the fact that they’re brothers gets out? (okay we got through the commercial break, I forgot joe was all “I can be your informant” last ep! Goldfish brain!)

God I love Ayanna so much

Where are the rest of the stabler kids? Lol.

Eli out here seriously 100% following in elliots footsteps. Jeeze lol “family tradition” LOL yeah, having a kid right out of high school lololol

LOOOLL to jet starting to explain what a dm is to stabler lol

 Im pretty sure they’ve got vests on under their coats but I cant actually *see* any of them and that irks me and makes me nervous.

How is there only 5 minutes of this show left?! How are they ENDING a season like this?! Like this is an ongoing story, the main perp is still out there, on his way to CUBA and Joe is ON the plane with them…

Okay, OC was good, it felt like a season finale minus the Joe arc, I liked the summary of Elliot’s journey and how he’s been feeling and him visiting kathy’s grave at the end too to tell her about eli. Also love that he figured it out on his own that she was pregnant cause like.. dude had five kids, he’s bound to know pregnancy symptoms lol.

Honestly.. I think mothership was the best of the night!

Now we go back to season 3 and continue our rewatch over summer hiatus and pray to the gods that svu next season is better than the crap they’ve been feeding us.

Season 26 Wants:

-Curry & Sykes gone. (it doesn’t make sense for the politics/plot).

-Bruno to be upgraded to main cast

-A new female DETECTIVE who they’ll actually keep on for more than a season or two and we’ll get a good character arc out of her (bonus points for her being queer but we all know that’ll be the reason she disappears instantly) (also I don’t want her to be so fucking green. Make it so that she moved from another state/borough and has been working sex crimes for like, 5+ years already, someone that benson doesn’t need to babysit!)

-She could also be the sergeant if they move fin up to lieutenant and I think that’d be bad ass

-Rollins popping up more BUT, as Olivia’s friend, or a consult on a case with whatever her new job is

-More family/found family moments

-Maybe an actual court room scene once in a while, bring back some of our beloved defence attorneys and give Carisi something to DO for once

-Overall a bigger regular cast. S8/9 was PRIME for that kind of shit cause we had a captain, a sergeant, three to four detectives, an ADA, an ME, and a psychiatrist that were in basically every episode. I know that it’s likely a budget issue nowadays, but they could rotate through everyone LIKE THEY ARE DOING NOW, but with less people, it makes no sense. It made sense when there was such a larger cast cause it’d give one character an episode to show off and then they’d be gone or only have 1 line the next, they’re simply not utilizing the cast that they have right now and it’s fucking stupid and fucking sucks.

I think that’s all I’ve got for now lol. We’ll see…

[thebiggerbear]

Moving Forward Little By Little - Bobby Reyes x Reader

A/N: I saw 4x01 and I had so many feels that this just came out of nowhere. (Spoilers for 4x01 under the cut)

A/N continued (spoilers ahead): So I was sad when they killed Jamie off in the season 3 finale but the kiss from 4x01 just had me feeling all kinds of conflicting emotions. I've loved Rick since I saw him in Arrow and I was excited when he joined OC. I've loved his character as much as I loved Jamie's and Jet's (I was a little bit of a Jamie/Jet hopeful for a few minutes there). But then this kiss happened and well...this was dominating my mind and I just had to get it out so I could get back to my other open projects I've been working on. This is my first time writing for any of these characters or any Law and Order showverse. Hope it doesn't suck - I honestly just had a lot of feelings to get out.

I based a lot of things off of this interview with Ainsley and I saw a couple of theories floated around about a separation or divorce that the audience doesn't know about yet (while I'm still hopeful with these people, from what Ainsley says, I think she's very gently confirming that there may be infidelity going on). Personally, I love Reyes and I hope cheating is not the case when it comes to him (and I also don't want that to be Jet either) but I am also fascinated to see where the writers take this, especially after hearing Ainsley's interview, and see why they made this decision.

Just a note, I don't condone infidelity in any form. This is purely fictional and I'm just using this piece to explore how I was feeling after watching 4x01.

Summary: You knew you shouldn't have let him in that first night he showed up with alcohol in hand to talk about Jamie. But you had and now your partner never fails to show up at your door. The bad thing is, you don't really want him to stop though you know you should.

Pairing: Bobby Reyes x Female!Reader; Bobby Reyes x Female!Detective!Reader; background Bensler if you squint

Warnings: implied sex; implied cheating/infidelity; mentions of character death; allusions to Fentanyl exposure & possible overdose; angst

Word Count: 5720

Taglist: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187; @rieleatiel

Please don't do any of the above. Thank you for your understanding.

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

You dig your teeth into your bottom lip as you feel him begin to kiss that spot on your neck.

“I thought we weren’t going to do this anymore,” you murmur.

“We weren’t,” he agrees in a whisper before lifting his head to kiss you.

You know this is wrong — it’s been wrong since he first showed up a few weeks back with single malt whiskey in hand and a hopeful expression. You both had talked about Jamie, fully for the first time since Jet left to go international, and you both drank way too much. Because when he leaned over to kiss you, you hadn’t stopped him and instead, you kissed him back. You also hadn’t stopped him from laying you down on the couch or stopped yourself from pulling at his shirt to get it off. The amount of guilt you felt the next day had prompted you to tell Reyes the next time you two had a moment alone at work that it would never happen again. He had quietly agreed, his brown eyes as haunted as you felt by what you both had done, and yet here you both are, tangled up in the sheets on your bed and with one another, you pretending that the strip of metal on his left hand doesn’t burn your skin as it passes over you or dig into your fingers as he tightens his grip on you in a passionate frenzy.

This is so beyond wrong and you’re not this person, but you’re finding it difficult to stop. Especially when he kisses you like you’re the last thing in the world still holding him together. 

At work, you both continue to do your jobs. There is an unspoken agreement between you never to discuss any of this while you’re on the clock, especially where someone might overhear you.

When you’re off the clock, that’s a whole other story. The couple of times Bell or Stabler has taken the unit out for drinks after a tough day or to celebrate the successful completion of a case, you can feel Reyes’ eyes on you and you can only hope no one becomes the wiser. Especially when you say your goodbyes and head out and not even half an hour later, Reyes is at your door again.

There’s no more preamble between you now. No more protestations of ‘this is wrong’ or ‘we shouldn’t be doing this’. You simply grab him by his jacket and pull him inside, holding onto him as if he were the last thing in the world keeping you from falling apart.

You hate that you collapsed in front of your unit like you did, worrying them all. Now, here you are, being driven by Reyes to the ER on Stabler’s orders.

You know you should have protested but the throbbing pain in your head dictated otherwise at the time. Even now, you feel as if a fully-formed Greek goddess is about to spring forth from your right temple.

“Hold on, Y/L/N. We’re almost there.” 

You try to respond but you find that you can’t. You can’t even say anything when you feel him rubbing your upper arm. 

“You’re going to be okay,” he assures you, though he also sounds like he might need some reassurance himself. 

You sure hope he’s right. You’ve never felt anything quite like this and you never want to again. Reyes keeps talking to you and it’s his voice that you hold onto like a lifeline until he gets you to the hospital.

“Alright if I swing by later?”

You turn to look at Reyes, surprised, but you also arch a brow over at him in question. He doesn’t normally ask and he’s breaking the unspoken work rule considering you’re one hour into what is guaranteed to be a long ass shift.

He shrugs. “Just to check on you.” After a moment, he moves to stand next to you. “See how you’re doing.” His eyes are boring into you again. The haunted look is back.

“I’m right here in front of you, Reyes. You see exactly how I’m doing.” You might be fine and back at work, but that didn’t mean you felt up to whatever he was thinking for later on.

“I know that, but I also know that while you’re telling Bell and Stabler that you’re good to go, you’re still not a hundred percent.” He gives you a look heavy with meaning that you willfully ignore.

You frown at him. “I’m fine,” you insist, grabbing yourself a water bottle from the mini fridge. “I was medically cleared. You know that. You were there.”

“Maybe so.” He moves closer though you refuse to look up at him. “I’d still like to check on you, make sure you’re okay,” he murmurs. “That’s all. I can pick up some takeout and we can check out that new Godzilla show if you want.”

That prompts you to glance up at him, wondering how serious he is. The answer is clear in his eyes: he is. You nearly drop your bottle, especially when you notice just how close he is and just how he’s looking at you at this moment. 

“What are you two doing?”

Your heads both snap in Stabler’s direction. He’s glancing back and forth between you, assessing what he’s just walked up on.

“She said her head’s still a little fuzzy,” Reyes smoothly lies and moves a few inches back. So smoothly if Stabler hadn’t been standing there, you may have flinched. Since when had your life become so complicated? Since when did lies and indiscretions make up who you are as a person? Other than the usual sting operations and UC work? Since you let him into your apartment that first night. You suppose lying has become second nature to both of you; it’s what makes you both so good at your jobs.

Stabler’s focus is now on you alone. “Y/L/N, is that true?”

You can swear you detect a double meaning that Stabler tacked onto the end of his question but perhaps it’s just your paranoia peeking through. Perhaps it’s your own self-recrimination tightening the figurative noose around your neck a little more.

Instead, you put your best front on and hope like hell that you can somehow fool Elliot Stabler. “Yeah. I just got a little dizzy there for a second but I’m good now.”

Stabler stares at you for a moment and then gives you a nod. He’s accepting the explanation…for now. “I’ll let Bell know. Odds are she’ll want you to go get checked out to be safe. Reyes, why don’t you get her back to the ER?”

Reyes moves to do just that when you firmly protest, “No. There’s no need for that. I’m fine. The doctor cleared me yesterday. He warned me that I would have a wicked hangover. That’s all this is.”

Stabler’s eyes narrow, studying you intently. You don’t look away or back down. Reyes’ quick thinking lie is not going to sideline you from the operation currently in play nor is it going to affect your job. After a moment, Stabler relents. “Alright. But if it gets any worse, you tell me or Sergeant Bell immediately. Don’t be a hero. You got me?” You give him a nod in agreement, relieved that you’re not being sent back to the hospital. He gives you one last look and turns on his heel, making his way to Bell’s office. Knowing him, he’s going to tell her anyway and you would be watched like a hawk for the rest of your shift by your superior.

You glare over at Reyes. “I had to say something,” he defends.

You don’t reply; instead, you turn and walk away. He still shows up that night, Chinese takeout in hand, and he stays true to his word. He holds you to him as you both watch Monarch on your television. In the back of your mind, you start to realize that while this has always been wrong, you both are beginning to cross a line into something that’s somehow even more wrong than what you were doing before. You refuse to look at the clock to see how late it’s getting or to think about how while he’s sitting here with you, his family is at home and his wife is sitting up and most likely wondering where he is. A part of you wants to ask him about it, tell him that this needs to end before anyone gets more hurt than they already will be, but the other part of you urges you to stay silent. Especially when you hear him laugh at a meme one of his friends texts him that he opens right in front of you. Somewhere around the end of episode 2, you aren’t able to keep your eyes open anymore and you relax against his shoulder.

You wake up the next morning on your bed with a blanket laid over you. You tiredly make your way into the living room to find the TV off and the takeout containers cleaned up but no Reyes. The only evidence he was here at all is in the hastily scribbled note left on your kitchen table: “Told Bell you were coming in late. Take the time. Rest. Call me when you’re up. - B” You don’t know why but something about it makes you smile as you turn the coffee pot on and head to your bathroom to take a shower so you can start your day.

You rush over with Bell to the EMT for the Naloxone, watching in horror as Reyes struggles to breathe after running into the lab to save Stabler. You snatch the first tube out of the EMT’s hand and run to him, thinking the entire time, Don’t you dare do this. You have a family, you son of a bitch. Don’t you dare do this to them. …don’t you do this to me.

You inject him and within moments, you notice he starts to breathe a little easier. You lay a hand on his shoulder, staring down at him with worry as you hear Bell helping Stabler nearby. You don’t pull away when Reyes discreetly covers your hand with his, giving you a nod of thanks as he comes back down.

You aren’t surprised when he shows up at your door late that night or that you let him in when he does. You both grab at each other desperately. It’s quick, frantic, and over before you know it. This time, as you gasp for air, you ask him if he can stay…just a little longer than he usually does on nights like these.

He gently runs his thumb along your jawline, his dark eyes staring into yours as he tries to catch his breath, and he nods. You pull him closer to you, shutting your eyes as he pants against your neck, and you thank whoever is listening that he’s okay. Your hands roam everywhere, subconsciously checking for hidden injuries but all they come back with is warmth from his skin, movements of his chest moving in and out as he breathes, alive. A small part of you acknowledges that you’re selfishly taking this moment from his family, his wife, who he most likely hasn’t seen yet since Bell insisted he let the ambulance take him straight to the ER to get checked out alongside Stabler. You can’t be too careful with Fentanyl, after all. 

You let him stay another twenty minutes, holding each other as you breathe together, before you gently kick him out, insisting he needs to get home. He’s not happy that you give voice to the one thing neither of you have talked about since this whole thing started between you but he still leaves all the same. You feel torn as you see the door close behind him. While you wanted him to go, you still hate to watch him leave you. 

Captain Benson is here to talk about something with Sergeant Bell and Stabler. You don’t know her too well, only having met her twice before, but she’s quickly become the equivalent of a legendary crusader in the NYPD. Dr. Vargas’ eyes have not gone back to their original size since she arrived and you wouldn’t be surprised if he asks her for an autograph before she leaves.

You were making your way back from the bathroom when you noticed Benson and Stabler having a quiet conversation in the hallway to your right. You have no idea what they’re discussing and you’re not caught off guard by their close proximity. They’re former partners and good friends. It’s only when you see Stabler reach out to take her hand in his, holding it in a way that makes your heart ache and her smile, that you realize that this is something more than their former partnership, more than close friendship, and it’s a very private moment you’re accidentally intruding upon. You and everyone else in the building are not meant to witness this. 

Respecting their privacy and wanting to get out of there as soon as possible, you quickly avert your eyes and head back to your desk. Stabler emerges from the hallway about five minutes later, cool as a cucumber, but you do notice the faint hint of a smile that quickly disappears as he turns to climb the steps to Bell’s office.

You think back to that moment you just observed and your heart hurts even more. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Reyes typing away on his computer, and you try not to allow the guilt you feel to completely consume you.

“We can’t do this anymore,” you tell him the next time he shows up at your door, wearing a smile and carrying a pizza and a six-pack.

You watch as his smile fades and his brows furrow. “Why?”

“You know why,” you state. “You’re married and have a family, we work together…” You were going to list another reason or two, but you can’t. Which doesn’t really matter given that the first two you listed should be the ones with the most validity.

His jaw hardens as you knew it would. “We should talk.”

You shake your head, knowing where letting him in to talk will inevitably lead. “There’s nothing more to talk about, Reyes.” You say it firmly but gently right before you shut the door.

Before falling asleep that night, recalling what you had seen earlier this week, you wonder if Stabler had shown up at Benson’s door while his wife was still alive, would she have been able to say no and turn him away or would she have let him in knowing what would happen? Guessing what the answer is, the guilt inside you triples and continues to gnaw away at you as you drift off into sleep.  

When Dr. Vargas gets up to use the bathroom and Bell is at 1PP, Reyes makes his move. Within seconds, he’s sitting on the edge of your desk, facing you.

“Reyes,” you warn. It’s been about a week since you finally had worked up the courage to put an end to whatever it was the two of you had been doing. Things had been awkward the first few days afterwards, but you both are professionals if nothing else. 

“I think there’s been a misunderstanding.”

You give him a look. “No misunderstanding. I made myself pretty clear actually.”

“No, I mean I feel like I gotta clear something up here.”

You sigh and toss the folder you had been perusing onto your desk. “And what’s that?”

You watch as his jaw tightens but he looks right at you. “Tammy and I are separated.”

You feel horror wash you like a tidal wave and ice water run through your veins. No, he did not just say that. Oh God.

Reyes, seeing your reaction, holds out a placating hand. “We’ve been separated for a while. Well before…” He doesn’t finish his sentence but he doesn’t need to; he gestures between the two of you. 

Relief radiates throughout your body only to be replaced with sudden anger. “What? Why did you never tell me that?” You ask through gritted teeth. This entire time he’s let you go on thinking that you were allowing a married man into your bed.

Shame laces his expression as well as pain. He should be ashamed, though it in no way rivals the amount of shame and guilt you feel. While you’re thankful that his wife hadn’t been sitting up at night wondering where her husband was when he’d been with you, you realize that you had let him walk through your door several times thinking she had. Oh God, what did that say about you?

“It happened, right after Jamie…” He swallows and lifts those haunted eyes up to meet yours. “It was hard, still is. I get my kids every other weekend. It’s not something I like to talk about or even think about. I kept my nose to the grindstone and just buried myself in work.”

“Yeah, you can say that again,” you hissed, getting to your feet, ready to leave. You don’t know if you’re more angry that he hadn’t told you before making a move on you, that you hadn’t asked when he did, or that he just made it clear that he’s been basically using you as a distraction for the pain or as a temporary cure for loneliness. Which makes you start to wonder… And you don’t like where that thought track is going.

“Y/N,” he murmurs, stopping you with the calling of your first name. You’re always referred to by your last name by everyone in this unit, even by him, even during this whole thing that you had going on, brief as it was. “That’s never what it was about.” As usual, he can read you like an open book. You really hate that sometimes. “I should’ve told you.”

“Yes, you should’ve. And what kills me is that when I said we shouldn’t let it happen again, you agreed with me. If you were already separated, then why? What would be the need to come up with a lie for Stabler on the fly?”

He doesn’t look away. “Like you said, work. You know just as well as I do that if Bell got wind of anything, if Stabler suspected, one of us would probably be immediately transferred out of here. And I know neither of us want that. We’ve both worked too hard to get here.”

You press your lips into a thin line but you realize he’s right. You don’t want to lose this job anymore than he does. You like the work you do and you’re good at it.

Reyes is suddenly next to you, a hand taking discreet purchase on your hip, and you feel an all too familiar burning sensation on your skin through your clothes. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I should’ve told you.”    

Your jaw tightens. “You never stopped wearing your ring.”

That appears to catch him off guard and he releases you to glance down at the mentioned article. He studies it for a moment before lowering his hand and his eyes unapologetically meet yours. That tells you all you need to know. He may be separated from his wife but he still hopes for reconciliation. And while you can understand that, it still stings, possibly even more than the revelation that he’s let you go on thinking he was married this whole time and you never bothered to clarify whether he was or not.

You give him a curt nod. “Right.” 

Dr. Vargas has come back from his bathroom break and you snatch your keys from your desk and grab at an excuse to get out of there, offering to make a coffee run despite a fresh pot having been made ten minutes prior. You don’t look in Reyes’ direction once the rest of the shift and he doesn’t try to talk to you again.

Two days later, Reyes walks into the squad room, no longer sporting his wedding ring. Bell and Stabler hardly seem surprised by it. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch a quick glimpse of the light strip of skin on his left hand when he places your breakfast order on your desk. 

When you both are the only ones in the room while Bell meets with Vargas in her office, you don’t mention the missing wedding band and neither does he.

Stabler notices that you two aren’t as talkative these days. Of course Stabler notices. Nothing gets past him and you know that.

“Something going on that I should know about?” He asks you from the driver seat of the SUV he’s driving. Stabler had taken one look at you back at the office and told you to take a drive with him downtown to follow up on a case. You had a feeling he wanted to talk to you more than he wanted your company or assistance, but you went anyway.

You shake your head, keeping your gaze on the road ahead. “Nope. I’m good.”

He slowly nods. “And Reyes?”

You tamp down any surprise at his direct question. Stabler didn’t pull any punches; he always got right to the heart of the matter. You shouldn’t be surprised. You do wonder, though, if you’ll be transferred out of the unit soon. There’s no way he’s keeping this from Bell.

You shrug. “Wouldn’t know.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Stabler side-eye you back as the vehicle comes to a stop at a red light. You keep your gaze dead ahead, unwilling to give away more than you obviously already have.

It’s a tense silence between you but you’re not willing to break it.  

“There isn’t anything I wouldn’t give to have Kathy back,” he murmurs.

You carefully turn to face him, seeing him reliving a memory for a moment.

“But she’s gone.” He then looks over at you. “I’ll always love her but she’s never coming back. And I know that I need to move on.”

You give him a nod, your brows furrowing slightly. You’re not exactly sure why he’s telling you this though you have a small inkling.

Sure enough, “There’s nothing wrong with trying to move on, Y/L/N. Jamie would have wanted that for you.” 

It hits you like a square punch to your gut. You clench your jaw and you turn away from him, willing the tears that are building to go away. Memories start to pop up in your mind and you quickly push them away, all except one. 

You and Jamie hadn’t had long; you weren’t exactly sure where he and Jet had stood the entire time you’d been in the unit until Jamie made it very clear to you a few weeks before he got shot. And then it hadn’t been too long after that that he…passed. Sure, everyone found out about you two the day he got shot and in the days that followed in the hospital, but it wasn’t something you talked about. At the funeral, you accepted Bell’s hug, Stabler’s steady hand on your shoulder, and Jet’s standing next to you in silent support as the other person who’d loved Jamie as much as she did. It was only Reyes who got to see your tears though. 

You had stayed by the graveside long after they’d lowered his casket into the ground, long after everyone cleared out including his father and the priest, long after it started to rain, almost as if God was crying along with you. Arms came around you and you looked up to see Reyes, soaked through just like you were, and his eyes as wet as yours. He held onto you as you broke down and sobbed against his coat, never letting you go even after you’d cried yourself out. And you held onto him, afraid that once you let go, you’d shatter into a thousand pieces right there on the ground, next to the grave of the man who’d taken your heart with him. 

You bite into the side of your cheek to keep the tears at bay and you stare out the windshield. You know Stabler’s right but that doesn’t make it any easier, and you’re pretty sure he knows that better than anyone, too. You remember back to that private moment between him and Benson in the hall of your building, the obvious closeness between them that flirts with the line of something more than partners, something more than friends. You know that and how it goes better than anyone. 

From your peripherals, you notice Stabler still watching you. You mutter “Yeah” just to give him something to work with and he takes it, nodding and turning back to the road. 

You think back to that moment by Jamie’s graveside with Reyes holding you together while you fell apart. The light turns green then and Stabler moves the car forward and you can’t help but think to yourself that if God really does send people signs, then the message the man next to you had delivered couldn’t have been clearer. 

You visit Jamie on the weekend. It’s been a little bit since you’ve been here but thankfully, someone has been keeping up around the headstone.

You lay the flowers you brought down under his name and step back, sticking your hands into the pockets of your coat. It’s a nice day, the sun is out, but it’s still a bit chilly. You take a deep breath in preparation for what you’re about to say.

“I don’t know if the priest is right and you’re up there watching over us, but if you are, then you know I haven’t really been making the most sound decisions lately.” A tear rolls down your cheek and you quickly wipe it away. “Stabler says it’s okay to move on, that you would want that for me. I know he’s right, but Jamie, I don’t...” You press your lips together and shake your head, feeling the all-too familiar stinging in your eyes. “I don’t know what to do,” you admit. “I’m lost. The only time I don’t feel so lost is when…” You don’t dare finish that sentence, not to him, not to yourself. “I just don’t know,” you whisper, swallowing down the lump forming in your throat. “I do know that I miss you and I will miss you every day for the rest of my life.”

You’re not sure how long you stand there, staring down at the grave marker of the man you’d loved, but it didn’t rain, the only tears you shed were silent ones, and you were alone the entire time, holding yourself up. Perhaps, in some weird way, someone might consider that progress.

A cup of coffee is placed on your desk, one that you didn’t order, prompting you to glance up to see Reyes giving you a small smile. He nods when you thank him and heads over to his station. It’s the first time he’s given you that familiar smile since you ended things between you. Everything had been strictly professional with you two since then.

As you stare at the cup, you can’t help but smile to yourself. Jamie had always been good about coming up with solutions on the fly to any issues you might be having. When you and Bell weren’t seeing eye to eye one day, the next morning he’d handed you a cup of coffee he’d picked up and urged you up the stairs to her office so you could give it to her and try to resolve things. He’d been good like that. 

You surreptitiously glance over in Reyes’ direction and note his friendly grin as he speaks with Bell. You remove the lid from your coffee and take a sip, your smile staying intact. Thank you, Jamie. 

A week and a half later, you hear a familiar knock on your door and you hesitate before you get up to open it. By now, you’ve had plenty of time to process and compartmentalize everything that happened between you. It was a tough pill to swallow to realize that yes, while he should’ve told you, you also should’ve asked. It had been even harder to accept that you hadn’t asked because a part of you — the selfish part — simply hadn’t wanted to. While technically you and Reyes hadn’t done anything wrong, you knew you had on some level and that caused some serious inner reflection on your part. You had even taken Bell’s advice from long ago and started seeing a grief counselor. 

You confirm it’s Reyes through the peephole and swing the door open, seeing him standing there, nothing in hand, no hopeful expression, no smile, no puppy dog eyes — none of it. He’s there, as is, as he’d always been since before things got…complicated. The sight actually makes you relax a little. 

“Hey,” he greets.

“Hey.”

An awkward moment of silence passes between you before he breaks it. “Can we talk?”

You cross your arms, biting your lip. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” His expression falls slightly and you add quickly, “At least not here.”

You grab your keys from near the door and slip your jacket on, seeing the glimmer of hope in his dark eyes. You lock up and turn back to him. “Let’s go.”

He nods and walks with you towards the elevator.

Your server arrives and places your food in between you. You give the guy a smile of thanks and you both begin to dig in. You had been starving so you dragged Reyes to your favorite Italian place a few blocks over for dinner and the talk he wanted to have.

“So…” You start in between mouthfuls of chicken.

It takes him a minute but he eventually answers with, “I should’ve told you.” You feel like he’s repeated that so often it should become his own personal mantra.

You shrug and take a sip of your wine, immediately responding with “I should’ve asked.” And that should become your own personal mantra. But it’s the truth and it’s an acknowledgement all in the same breath — an acknowledgement of what you both could have done better. 

That’s the only time either of you refer to what had transpired between you. Instead, you ask him about his kids and he updates you on each one. You discuss work a little and how Dr. Vargas makes you both miss the hell out of Jet. You dance around the subject of Jamie, not because you don’t want to talk about him, but because that’s how things kicked off in the first place. And tonight is not about that.

Something that is made clear when he walks you back to your apartment. “Thanks for dinner,” you offer. “It was nice.”

“Yeah, it was,” he agrees. “I’m glad we went.” You notice he seems unsure about something but he covers it with a kind smile. “I’ll see you in the morning. Get some rest.”

He begins to walk back to the elevator when you call out, “Where the hell are you going, Reyes?”

He stops, his brows drawing together. “I thought you didn’t—”

“Yeah? Well, you thought wrong,” you tease. “We still have a season of monster television to watch and I am not watching it alone. So get your ass in here.” You unlock your door and step inside. When he doesn’t immediately follow, you stick your head back out, seeing him looking torn and it hits you why. “Unless you have plans to watch it elsewhere.”

Reyes gives you a smirk and steps towards you. “You know I would never sign up for an AppleTV account.”

“Uh huh.” You roll your eyes and let him follow you inside. “And I suppose the huge TV and epic sound system is the icing on the cake, too, right?” Something he and Jamie had helped you to install when you moved into this place. Quite a few movie nights had happened afterwards when Jamie insisted you had the better entertainment system out of the four of you. Jet’s was great for gaming, but yours was fantastic for movies and TV. And sporting events, you had added, smirking over at Jamie, knowing what he and Reyes were really after. They both tried to act like the thought hadn’t crossed their minds before you mentioned it but considering a big fight was taking place two weeks later, and you all were detectives, you knew they’d been planning game nights and fight nights at your place since they’d seen what you purchased. 

“Doesn’t hurt,” Reyes teases back, not denying it, and it makes you snicker.

You both settle down to start Episode 3 of Monarch, sodas in hand and a bag of candy from your secret stash between you. This time, you both add commentary, make each other laugh, and genuinely enjoy each other’s company. When he carefully winds an arm around your shoulders, you smile to yourself and lay your head on his chest. You don’t even mind it when he caresses your shoulder with his thumb or he presses a soft kiss to your head. 

You don’t know exactly where this is going to lead or if it will even lead anywhere at all. You do know that for right now, you’re going to enjoy this sci-fi show you’re watching with the guy whose embrace seems capable of keeping you from falling apart most days. Not everything is magically solved between you and Reyes, and everything is still up in the air for him, but right now you’re not going to think about any of that. Right now you’re only going to think about the four hundred feet tall monster on your screen, the comforting weight of Reyes’ arm around you, and how soothing the sound of his heartbeat underneath your ear is. This might not be what Stabler had in mind when he said what he said to you, but for you right now, it’s pretty damn close.

A/N: Please let me know what you think. 😊

[what-do-1000-swords-look-like]

I'm sorry...the same episode Benson finds out that Carisi and Rollins are expecting we not only get Benson and Stabler both mentioning Noah, we also get Carisi telling Benson that Rollins is expecting (and Rollins is in the crossover coming up, working with both Benson and Stabler) and both Benson and Stabler admitting to each other that the almost kiss that didn't happen as "not the right moment"...and I'm not supposed to see Bensler as endgame?

[2ctheocean]

Again, Bensler trash.

But if we're going all in on this love triangle, can we please please please have Rafa touch on the fact that he's bisexual? Like seriously the actor wanted to make a whole story line of it- part of the reason he left is that they weren't pursing it.

[drelizabethgreene]

Any Fandom Fluff Bingo, Bingo #2

Just hit another Bingo on my @anyfandomfluffbingo card! The stories on this Bingo line include the previously mentioned Undercover Lover (Bensler bodyguard AU) as well as these ER fics!

It’s For Sure That I’m All Dressed Up Tonight

A trio! Lizzie and the Bald Boys (Mark/Elizabeth/Romano) go to the ER banquet. (Square: red carpet event)

The Things I Have Going for Myself

Newest release. Janet helps Caitlyn try to recover from her depressive episode and encourage her to be kinder to herself. A follow-up to “Take a Heart and Take a Hand.” (Square: comfort food)

All That I’ve Been Yearning For

Caitlyn stops by County to see Janet and share the news of her first pregnancy, a mix of excitement and nervousness. (Square: “Roll the dice and have some faith.”)

Travel Down the Road and Back Again

Chen comes back to Chicago to reunite with Carter and tour the Carter Center, and they talk about adventures in dating and any feelings they may or may not have for each other. (Square: best friends)

[ten-cent-sleuth]

Hi!! Nice to meet another Zibell fan and fic writer! I have to admit that my time on Tumblr is a bit sporadic (real life is way too busy), but I'm always glad to talk about Zibell and writing fic for them. I've written a lot of romantic fic for them, but I definitely enjoy the platonic friendship on screen, so I could really go either way with them. Do you ship them romantically at all or just platonically? Any favorite moments?

[Disclaimer: I am only on S3 of the show, so some of my comments might not be (as) applicable anymore. Also, there might be some prime Zibell moments from S4 and S5 that I don’t mention when talking about my favourites because I haven’t seen them yet. Sorry!]

I could go either way with them too! I read (and write…maybe… 👀) romantic fanfic for them, and I’m definitely on the lookout for budding feelings between them when I watch the show. However, when it comes to their canon relationship atm, I only ship them in the sense of “I’m rooting for them”, not in the sense of “I want them to be together”. It’s like you said on another post: I’d like their professional dynamic and platonic intimacy to develop some more before they drop any romantic ILYs (I’d be down for some platonic ones though; tv needs more of those!) or passionate embraces. I think there are some things they can discover about each other more meaningfully (to me) if they aren’t in an exclusive, committed relationship when they learn them.

(I answer the rest of your question below the cut, but it’s looong so be warned lol.)

Like, some things are kind of expected to be shared when you’re dating someone, and the idea of Maggie and OA sharing those things with each other just because they want to instead—just because they feel comfortable turning to each other before any friend or family member or even side character love interest, even though on paper they’re simply colleagues!—is really quite special to me. For example, when OA shows up at Maggie’s place and confides in her: his seeking her out means more in my eyes because, traditionally, he’d be expected to disclose what’s troubling him about his past if Maggie were a romantic partner, but not when she is merely a professional one—at least, not the details, not in such a personal setting, not when their job is already done. Plus, the fact that they don’t always share these kinds of things with each other (e.g., Maggie doesn’t tell OA that she suspects Erin has relapsed and that she is making the big decision to help her move back to a rehab centre) suggests that they aren’t yet at a place to let each other in so completely. That being said, I don’t want to suffer through another Bensler torture method! There is a difference between a tasteful slow burn and a fourth-degree scorch, Dick Wolf! And it’s not just the length of it, either, but the pacing! I could last twenty-four seasons of romantic tension between Zibell as long as it’s not a dragged-along, low-key out-of-character romantic tension, y’know?!

[deep breath] Sorry. Where was I? Right, I ship them platonically and would like them to get a happy ending together romantically at some point, but that should be a decent way off imo. On the show, at least. I’m an impatient, lovesick twat and will absolutely peddle and plead for romantic art, fic, and edits on Tumblr, YouTube, and AO3. :)

As for favourite moments… If you mean scenes that won points for their relationship in my book, I would say any where there was a Thing they had to talk about but were resisting until the crucial instant where they chose to let down their walls to the other. So when a case directly hits close to home, when something personal is bothering them and affecting their job, when the two of them are disagreeing and need to get on the same page… Those moments. Those conversations. I live for those small, subtle relationship development milestones! Also, anytime they back each other up. I’ve said this before, but when one of them gets snarky and the other smirks to themself, or when one of them successfully captures a person of interest and the other smiles in gratitude/pride, or when one of them seconds the other’s hunch against the rest of the JOC… I also live for those small, subtle signs of a healthy, stable foundation, ’cause that’s what any future romance—if there will be any—will be laid upon, y’know?

Now, if you’d prefer my list of scenes that I obsessively re-watch for the Drama and Feels, I can definitely be more precise. ;P

1x01 (their banter about OA’s arachnophobia and drawing; Maggie struggles with Emmett’s death and OA reassures her that her evac order was the right move; when OA goes to take down Bernardo and Maggie runs after him, their conversation was hilarious; their side whispering like the person they’re discussing isn’t right there; OA brings up Maggie’s husband and she shuts him out but also thanks him! OA and Maggie smiling at each other after the case; “All you need is a ride?” “For now”)

1x03 (the “Is it true? One in four women…?” conversation; the fight in the stairwell; “I always got your back, Mags”)

1x04 (Maggie tries to talk down the sniper and OA gives her Concerned Looks in the background)

1x07 (OA talks about his experiences in Iraq and Maggie gives him Concerned Looks in the background; Maggie tells him he can talk to her, and he takes her up on his offer!!)

1x14 (Maggie trusts OA with her suspicion, and OA trusts her instincts—and cares about her concerns—enough to look into it; OA accompanies and comforts Maggie at the hospital; “Wherever this goes, I’m with you”)

1x16 (OA gets shot, and Maggie is like “Don’t do that to me again” but also acknowledges he did a Good Thing)

1x19 (OA insists on hearing Maggie’s opinion about his friend; Maggie gives him Concerned Looks in the background whenever he gets worked up, and she mediates between him and Jubal)

2x01 (OA goes to Maggie for comfort; later, he apologises for not taking her advice but she apologises for offering it)

2x03 (at the end, when OA tells an embarrassing story to cheer Maggie up despite his having warned her about Caldwell, and it works <3)

2x05 (protective!OA when Maggie and Kristen briefly go UC)

2x06 (Maggie meets Mona ahaha, plus OA admits his insecurities about their relationship to Maggie and she reassures the heck out of him)

2x08 (Maggie sympathises with the widow and OA gives her Concerned Looks in the background; Maggie wrestles with one of the Russian spies and OA is worried until he finds her the victor and is subsequently all proud smiles; Maggie tries to persuade Isobel that the widow should know her husband was murdered and OA gives her Concerned Looks in the background)

2x09 (“Don’t touch her” … “Then do your job without putting hands on my partner” … need I say more?)

2x11 (basically all of their scenes this episode; protective!OA is always a win, and Maggie being scared to see Kristen but being supported by OA 100% was just <3)

2x16 (OA immediately knows something is up and wants to know what; OA doesn’t want Maggie to leave, and she knew that he would have been able to dissuade her from taking the UC case so she already accepted it before telling him hwkrhfjs)

3x01 (Maggie returns! HUG!! Maggie is standoffish but eventually confides in OA about what went down on her UC case; OA is impressed with and proud of his partner’s success…as well as her sharp clothes at the end of the ep hehe, though also maybe a little hmmmm when he first meets Nestor; also, Maggie backs OA up against Nestor!)

3x04 (judgemental was not a good look for OA lol, but he made up for it; also, the “I’m gonna be a little overprotective and make sure the guy you’re seeing is a good guy” speech was 10/10, was surprised a tv show had a man actually use the word “overprotective” about himself lol)

3x08 (Maggie backs OA up to outsiders but is upfront with him one-on-one)

3x11 (OA meets Erin; Maggie talks about Erin’s addiction and OA gives her Concerned Looks in the background, plus Maggie touching his arm to signal she’ll take the lead for the interrogation and him understanding; Maggie talks the bomber down and OA cuffs him, the touches and “Good job”s afterwards)

4x09 (Maggie gets shot and OA reacts; “I thought I almost lost you for a second”; Maggie offers herself up as a hostage and OA is…not thrilled)

4x12 (OA repeatedly checks in on Maggie’s state of mind; Maggie drives off with the bomb with OA begging her not to; OA helps her up after the car explodes; the two talk after the paramedics clear her)

4x18 (the hdqkrhcnekfhj breakfast they were having together) (…and ofc the whole sarin gas thing—“I can’t really breathe anymore”, OA’s desperation and continual “It’s going to be okay”s, OA carrying her—and OA’s speech and Maggie’s nod)

5x07 (Maggie returns! HUG!! OA being worried, Maggie confiding in him, the “Count them” confrontation, hooo boy I love me some angst)

Note that I’m only on S3, yet I know about some S4/S5 scenes and have jumped ahead to watch those lmao. I did say I was an impatient, lovesick twat!

Wow, okay, I talk a lot! Thank you so much for the ask—feel free to come back anytime, if you dare risk another rambling answer haha. :) Take care! <3

[findroleplay]

Law and Order SVU Rp (Doubles Welcomed)

I’m 18+ and all participants must be 18+

A little info about me:

Heya I’m Kim! I’m 21+ and I rp in third person and I am semi literate. I enjoy ooc and getting to know my partners. I’m so excited for this rp. I do ask you rp in third person and are semi literate and active quite frequently. I understand life gets in the way so just mention it I will gladly do the same. Also at the moment I only do mxf pairings. I’m sorry but I can’t do mxm or fxf justice and I also want you to enjoy the rp.

I have watched every single episode back and forth of SVU. I’m a huge huge fan!!! I love Bensler and just like wish they’d hurry up and kiss hahaha. So yeah. I ask that you also are a fan and know enough of Law and Order SVU.

Now onto the rp:

I can totally double! I can play whoever your heart desires I was thinking maybe you play Rafael Barba or if all else fails Nick Amaro! Orr we can use oc and I do have a idea for that one though I specifically ask you actually know Law and Order like your a super fan like me

Anyways I was thinking of starting when the canon characters are first introduced and then going from there hahaha. If you have any ideas feel free to share them. I love ideas. I hope I can find some Law and Order SVU fans out there.

Okay so heads up I do run on CST time and it’s currently 11:19 pm for me. I do work Monday through Friday 7:30 am - 3:30 pm but I have breaks and I have all after work so hope that’s good. Anyways all I ask is you don’t ghost me!! Communication is the key!!!

Also please be descriptive and no one liners! Give me something to work with! I only roleplay in Discord. I am very patient and am willing to wait for a day or so for a reply before I send you a quick little message to check on you and hopefully you will do the same for me. I’m open to if you ever wanna chat outside our roleplay. I love being able to talk about our roleplay and even some info on our characters. Please have a good idea of what the canon characters are like, as well as a good idea on the whole storyline in general.

Okay I think that’s all so I hope to find a great partner soon and can’t wait hahah. Message me your favorite character and any ideas you have and a little about yourself

_

[prpfs]

Law and Order SVU Rp (Doubles Welcomed)

👮🚔🚨🚓🪪

I’m 18+ and all participants must be 18+

A little info about me:

Heya I’m Kim! I’m 21+ and I rp in third person and I am semi literate. I enjoy ooc and getting to know my partners. I’m so excited for this rp. I do ask you rp in third person and are semi literate and active quite frequently. I understand life gets in the way so just mention it I will gladly do the same. Also at the moment I only do mxf pairings. I’m sorry but I can’t do mxm or fxf justice and I also want you to enjoy the rp.

I have watched every single episode back and forth of SVU. I’m a huge huge fan!!! I love Bensler and just like wish they’d hurry up and kiss hahaha. So yeah. I ask that you also are a fan and know enough of Law and Order SVU.

Now onto the rp:

I can totally double! I can play whoever your heart desires I was thinking maybe you play Rafael Barba or if all else fails Nick Amaro! Orr we can use oc and I do have a idea for that one though I specifically ask you actually know Law and Order like your a super fan like me

Anyways I was thinking of starting when the canon characters are first introduced and then going from there hahaha. If you have any ideas feel free to share them. I love ideas. I hope I can find some Law and Order SVU fans out there.

Okay so heads up I do run on CST time and it’s currently 11:19 pm for me. I do work Monday through Friday 7:30 am - 3:30 pm but I have breaks and I have all after work so hope that’s good. Anyways all I ask is you don’t ghost me!! Communication is the key!!!

Also please be descriptive and no one liners! Give me something to work with! I only roleplay in Discord. I am very patient and am willing to wait for a day or so for a reply before I send you a quick little message to check on you and hopefully you will do the same for me. I’m open to if you ever wanna chat outside our roleplay. I love being able to talk about our roleplay and even some info on our characters. Please have a good idea of what the canon characters are like, as well as a good idea on the whole storyline in general.

Okay I think that’s all so I hope to find a great partner soon and can’t wait hahah. Message me your favorite character and any ideas you have and a little about yourself

like if you're interested