#best thing about any character phil plays is how subtle they are and how fun it is to pick up on that subtlety

[enigmaticvariation]

C!Phil is a cool character, y’all are just mean

I feel like a lot of you don’t understand c!Phil and his motivations very well, so as a c!Phil enjoyer I’ll give you my thoughts.

A lot of you aren’t thinking about what this must be like from c!Phil’s perspective. He had absolutely know idea what was happening when he first joined the server, (hell, he didn’t even know who Schlatt was.) He didn’t know what L’manberg stood for, what people sacrificed for it, what it meant to them. Just that his son needed help and he was the only person who could provide that help. 

He came to L'manberg to save his son, realized his son had been severely traumatized and mentally broken without him being able to do anything, was forced to kill his son which was deeply traumatizing, and then his son came back as a living reminder of what he did so he could never escape the pain he felt. He didn't understand the political ramifications of what Techno did, just that people were being awful to him and so he went to go support him because Techno was the person he knew the best out of everyone and he wanted to hang out with him and help him heal. I don’t think cc!Phil was aware if Tommy was his son or not in canon, so he had no reason to check up on him within the lore. Techno was his best friend and he wanted to make sure he was ok. He stated from the beginning that he wanted to be a neutral party and that he didn’t want to be in L’manberg, but no one listened to him.

 Then, people wanted to hurt Techno and instead of selling out the closest person to him he had his house ransacked and his things stolen and was put under house arrest. Then he saw they kidnapped Techno and was forced to watch him get publicly executed right in front of him with no trial. He only saw injustice and hurt come from L'manberg from day one, so naturally he agreed with Techno and wanted to help out his friend (plus he wanted to blow stuff up because he's Phil.) He had no idea about the abuse Tommy suffered at the hands of Dream so he had no qualms helping him. He just knew that L'manberg was an unjust society that in his eyes only caused harm and that it should be gone. The bit with Ghostbur was a bit fucked, I’m not trying to say he’s perfect but I think that he has his reasoning. He just wanted to show everyone how fucked the society they created was because all he knew about it was that it was what killed his son and ruined his best friends life.

Another thing I feel like mentioning, I feel like a lot of people’s judgement of c!Phil has been completely clouded by fanon. The Fanon Phil we built up in our heads before November 16th was a very kind and loving father who’s completely family oriented and came to the smp to be everyone’s therapist and help them heal from their trauma. That’s not what happened, nor would it have ever happened. Cc!Phil isn’t really a roleplayer or an actor, he likes writing backstory and lore for his projects using environmental storytelling, (go watch his hardcore series please I’m begging you go do it.) Thus, while he likes being a part of the lore and has thought out character motivations, he primarily just wants to hang out with Techno and blow things up because that’s what’s fun for him and comes the most natural. Phil in all iterations is a man of chaos. Need I remind you that he completely annihilates and then rebuilds biomes for fun IN HARDCORE MODE. Plus, you’d know this if you watched smp earth, (smp earth gives a lot of insight into c!Phil because he was playing a more subtle version of the same character in that,) his chaos is heightened around Techno. In his words “being around Techno makes him see blood in the water.” They were called the Blood God and the Angel of Death for christ sake. We should have known from the start he would take any opportunity available to him to fuck shit up with Techno. From the beginning I was advocating for this because it’s fun to watch and it’s what Techno and Phil have fun doing together. He was never going to be what everyone wanted him to be, and by inadvertently  pushing him into that box people seemed to forget that he was a complex character who had motivations in his own right, not just in relation to others. People do this a lot in general, both cc!Phil and c!Phil are often only recognized by their roles in a group setting and not what they do on their own. 

TL;DR: C!Phil is a very interesting and well thought out character and I think that he had reason to do what he did. Like all characters on the smp however, he is morally grey. Also, in general we should think of Phil as his own person and not primarily define him by his relationships

Also, please watch Phil’s hardcore series, it’s so fucking good. There’s cool lore, and it deserves more love from the fandom as it is its own cool thing, he puts so much love and care into it!

[letterboxd]

Milking It.

Peerless American filmmaker Kelly Reichardt talks to Ella Kemp about her new film, First Cow, her favorite animal performers, and getting down to the nitty gritty of things.

We’re resharing this post to mark the arrival of ‘First Cow’ on VOD. The interview took place timed to the original release of the film in March, prior to the coronavirus pandemic.

With little fuss, Kelly Reichardt has been making some of the most tender and thoughtful films about American loneliness for decades. The quietly acclaimed director, writer and film lecturer began her feature career in 1994 with River of Grass, a runaway story of a couple caught in a tragedy, and now celebrates her ten-title milestone as a filmmaker by gifting the world the peaceful and moving portrait of another pair of nomads in First Cow.

Reichardt has earned her reputation as one of the most impressive and reliable American filmmakers with knockouts including the stripped-back heartbreaker, Wendy and Lucy and the stunning portrait of feminine isolation and frustration, Certain Women. There is always a common thread—and there is often Michelle Williams—but then, also, each film is a rich, vivid new tale that feels like it belongs to you and no one else.

Based on the 2004 novel The Half-Life, written by Reichardt’s frequent collaborator Jonathan Raymond, First Cow has been coming together for over a decade, and feels like the culmination of Reichardt’s finest skills and sensibilities. The story follows Cookie (John Magaro) a taciturn cook travelling alongside fur trappers in 19th-century Oregon, whose ambition comes into focus when he meets King Lu (Orion Lee), a Chinese immigrant. Together, they develop not only an essential friendship, but also a delicious business model, which involves slyly stealing milk from a cow owned by a wealthy landowner. It’s a film of subtle gestures, of deeply tender attentions, with a sharp eye across endless landscapes, and already has devoted fans on Letterboxd.

“I have never felt so well cared for by a movie,” writes Liz Shannon Miller in her Letterboxd review. Zachary Panozzo appreciates the way the film tackles American capitalism as a system, writing that “First Cow, in the most pleasant and honest way, calls bullshit on that.” And Phil Wiedenheft observes: “It feels—like all her work—so simple and elegant that it’s a wonder how [many] histrionics so many other filmmakers have to perform to end up saying less.” And, everyone wants those butter-honey biscuits.

First Cow premiered at the Telluride Film Festival last year and went on to the New York Film Festival shortly after, before impressing European audiences last month in competition at the 2020 Berlinale.

Sharing memories of the writers who shaped her movies, the first film that proved that cinema could show a different view of the world, and the greatest animal performers of all time, Reichardt chats with our London correspondent, Ella Kemp.

Orion Lee as King-Lu and John Magaro as Cookie in ‘First Cow’.

How did you choose where to strip The Half-Life back, to get to a film-sized story? Kelly Reichardt: The novel goes through four decades and they sail to China, so it was way outside the realm of what we could do. It also has a contemporary thread, and that just became a prologue and we settled into the 1820s. We found the main mechanism, the cow, which doesn’t exist in the novel—in the novel they’re selling the oil from beaver glands to China. So once we had the narrative element of the cow, we could work our own way into the script while still using a lot of the themes and stories from John’s novel. And the other thing John did, which was great, was to combine two characters from the novel. King Lu is actually a fusion of two people in the novel.

On paper, First Cow might seem like a straightforward Western but in practice it feels much softer. How do you see it in terms of genre? I didn’t feel any limits by a genre, and I wasn’t really thinking of it as a ‘big W’ Western. I actually see it as a heist film if anything. When I made Meek’s Cutoff, we were dealing with bonnets and wagons and the desert and people crossing West. That felt like having to deal with the whole history of the Western while we set up the camera, but I didn’t feel like that at all here. I just felt like we were telling an intimate story about two people. We were in the minutiae of trying to find out as much as we could about the Multnomah tribes that lived on the Columbia river, and we had fashioned Toby Jones’ character—the Chief Factor—after John McLoughlin in the [retail business group] Hudson’s Bay Company. It was more about researching the beaver trade and definitely taking artistic liberties, while also really trying to stay pretty true in the details to the period. It was such a little world we were building, I didn’t really have the feeling that I was confined in a genre at all.

Kelly Reichardt. / Photo by Jens Koch courtesy Berlinale

You work with outdoor landscapes a lot, particularly in Oregon. There are similarities with Meek’s Cutoff but also with Wendy and Lucy—the nomadic loners, the animal companion… What keeps you coming back to these places? I’ve actually worked outdoors much more than I’ve worked indoors. It’s really the indoors which was really fun to shoot here, because with Tony Gasparro, who was the production designer on First Cow, he and I were able to design these cottages and interiors and build around what [we] wanted to shoot, which is really great and a first for me. But outdoors is where I’m usually mostly shooting. It was recognizable to me at different points in the film that we were recalling Old Joy and Meek’s Cutoff and Wendy and Lucy. It was like the ‘Best Of’ of my movies.

There were some echoes of the other films for sure. It’s interesting to think how that’s happened. Because really, John’s novel The Half-Life is the first thing I ever read of his, and I wrote to him asking if he had any short stories—because I knew the novel was too big back in 2004—and he sent me Old Joy, the short story, which became the first thing we did together. But in between all that we’d been musing together for a decade, whenever there’s a lull in whatever we’re working on, we’d ask ourselves how we could do The Half-Life. It’s been cooking on the back burner for a long time, so maybe it’s bled into other films along the way.

Would you ever consider working in the city? I’m definitely ready to do something contemporary. It could be anything. I will just say on the practical side I do enjoy going away with a crew and feeling somewhat off the grid while making a film, separate from everyday life. When you say a city, I immediately think of New York. Never say never, but it’s just the practicalities of it… even if you can hire the crew you want, it doesn’t jump out at me as the most inviting thing.

In First Cow, your central characters are two men. Did you encounter different things in delving into male psychology after shaping so many rich female characters across your filmography? I don’t think of it in terms of gender, more in terms of personality. Maile Meloy’s short stories that I was working off for Certain Women focus on isolated women, a theme in some of her writing. But it’s really more about getting down to details on all levels of filmmaking for me. You have at some point the bigger picture, but I like to get down to the nitty gritty of things, in the story I’m telling and the people I’m making the story about and not worry about what gender anybody is. It’s more about who are these characters. A big draw to The Half-Life was that the Cookie character was so great. King Lu was totally fascinating as well. So it was more about keeping track of what they wanted, what they were to each other in the minute-by-minute, more even than in the big sense.

Lucy, the very good girl in Reichardt’s ‘Old Joy’.

Evie, the titular cow, is a terrific performer. What is your favorite animal performance on film? Oh god… Lucy! My own beautiful dog in Old Joy (2006), actually. No, of course there’s others. The animal that probably made the biggest impression on me as a kid was in Mike Nichols’ The Day of the Dolphin (1973). That dolphin was everything. You’re always afraid the animals are going to come to some demise. There’s [Vincente] Minnelli’s Home from the Hill (1960), which has the tragic hunting dog there. But it’s such a beautiful film. Whenever a film is named after the animal, you know it’s bad news for the animal.

Do you have a favorite film to teach your students? I’ve been teaching since 1998 so I wouldn’t call anything a favorite, but one film I’ve used in a sound class a lot is the opening scene of McCabe & Mrs. Miller (1971), where we’re just listening to the sound, and we turn off the image and the students describe the space. And so by doing that over the years I have René Auberjonois’ voice so firmly planted in my head, as he’s the bartender in the opening scene. I had the great pleasure of working with him on Certain Women and we wrote a little part for him [in] First Cow where he’s the cranky guy in town with the raven.

What is the film that made you want to be a filmmaker? When I was a kid and I saw Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962) on TV, and there was a scene on a beach at night that happened in black and white. It was the first time I’d seen the ocean in black and white—I grew up in Miami. It was the first time I became aware that people could do something as far as film went. I think when I was in art school, Stranger Than Paradise (1984) came out, and it probably opened the door to a lot of people’s minds—like a lot of people who saw the first band who played their own music and not cover tunes, like, ‘maybe I could tell my own story on film’. It made something seem possible, for myself anyway.

‘First Cow’ is in US cinemas now. An international release is yet to be confirmed. Kelly Reichardt’s films ‘First Cow’ and ‘Wendy and Lucy’ feature in Letterboxd’s Official Top 100 Narrative Feature Films Directed by Women.

[nadziejastar]

I love the idea. It completes the elemental theme since Terra is earth, Aqua is water, Ventus is wind, Lea is fire, and Isa means “ice”. Sora is sky, Riku is land, Kairi is sea, TAV are stars, Lea is sun, and Isa is moon.

Organization XIII’s Number VII.

If Saïx sees something he can use, he will—and without a second thought.

But also, it fits Isa’s character. I think he’s such a fascinating character. I think he wanted to be useful more than anybody. In the organization, you have to be strong or useful in some way. Otherwise you are annihilated. Treating a person to ice cream is how Axel commends someone for trying hard and doing their best. This seems to be a special tradition for him because of its connection to his youth.

“You hate troublesome things, right, Axel?”

“Well, Roxas—why do the three of us eat ice cream together every day in that place? I have no use in doing that either, do I? If you think about it, it’s troublesome, right? Do you want me to tell you?” Roxas looked at Axel, and waited for his answer.

“It’s because we are best friends.”

Axel specified that he had no practical use for eating ice cream every day with Roxas and Xion. But best friends don’t think of each other in terms of usefulness. From an objective standpoint, it might be seen as troublesome. But subjectively, it’s not. He goes out of his way to hang out with them because it’s fun and that’s what friends do.

Isa—A serene and self-possessed boy who always has time for a quick quip at his best friend Lea’s expense.

It doesn’t seem like Isa was a very “motivated” person, at least in the way the organization would desire. He was laid back and always had time for a quip at Lea’s expense. It seems like Isa was the one who was more motivated by hanging out and eating ice cream than anything.

“I’m a can-do man, so I got ready ages ago.”

“How exactly are you ���can-do’, kupo?” mumbled the Moogle.

“Yeah, how exactly are you ‘can-do’?” Roxas repeated.

“In ways darling children like you don’t understand,” said Axel, scratching his head. Roxas and the Moogle looked at each other and laughed.

Roxas and the shop moogle made quips at Axel’s expense on the day they go looking for Xion.

If she went back only to report another failure, Saïx would know that she couldn’t wield the Keyblade anymore. And then…she might be terminated.

What do I do? What can I possibly do…?

That was the day Xion ran away because she was afraid of being annihilated for being useless.

“We can’t afford to spend any more chances on you,” Saïx was telling her. “You were a mistake we never should have made. A failure.”

Failure…? What was that about?

With one parting glance at Xion’s miserable, downcast face, Saïx turned and left.

More than any other insult, Saïx called Xion “failure” the most.

He’d failed the mission where he’d been told if he disregarded his orders he’d be destroyed. Disregarding orders and failing a mission were considered the same thing.

In the organization, failure to carry out an order is considered the same as disobeying the order. Axel knew this after he failed to bring Roxas back.

“You are to discover the identity of the outsider,” he told her. “Those are direct orders from Lord Xemnas. Failure is the same as insubordination. You understand that, don’t you?”

“Wha…?” Xion had no idea that Xemnas had chosen her for this mission. To the best of her knowledge, Saïx was the one in charge of assigning tasks.

And Saïx emphasized this when he gave Xion the order to capture Riku.

Day 172: Meaning Behind the Words

Author: Axel

There has to be something to what Saïx said. Why isn’t Xion qualified to be one of us? He said to just look at her, but at what? The fact that she looks like Naminé? Xion and Naminé must be connected. Whose Nobody is Xion, anyway? What is Saïx hiding?

After Xion collapsed, Saïx said she was not worthy to be an organization member. And Axel’s report entry refers to the “meaning behind the words”. Xion’s name refers to imaginary numbers. So, she’s not fit to be among the organization’s number because she’s not even real.

Day 7: Meaning

Author: Xemnas

A name defines an object. Describes the span of it. Gives it purpose. We embarked upon the Replica Program to ensure our new power stays ours. Now, our shadow puppet, “No. i,” lives. It needs a name. Something to define it. To give the hollow vessel purpose.

Names are given by Xemnas to impart meaning and purpose.

“As your flesh bears the sigil, so your name shall be known as that of a Recusant.”

Let’s assume this quote is about Saïx, which I think is the most likely scenario. He’s the only character with the Recusant’s Sigil on his flesh, after all. His name was given to impart the meaning of a recusant. And a recusant is a heretic or a traitor. The “X” is based on the crook and flail which is a symbol of divine authority in ancient Egypt.

“Saïx called Xion a failure…”

Hearing that, Axel also sucked in a breath. I think maybe Saïx hasn’t been paying attention to Roxas and Xion’s ‘specialness’. Yeah, those two un-Nobody-like Nobodies show emotional reactions that other Nobodies don’t. Abuse them with cold words, and Roxas and Xion react to them—just like they have hearts.

Saïx didn’t understand that. Despite the lack of a heart, he could imagine what it was like to have emotional responses based on what he remembered from his human life. And he must be able to remember how much trouble it was.

If failure is the same as insubordination to Xehanort, Isa’s scar might very well have been intended as the mark of a “failure”. A big scarlet letter right on his face as a permanent reminder of his purpose. In KH3, he said he awakened to a new purpose, which was to become stronger. Why did he want to be strong so badly, though? In KH2, he said he lost his true purpose. I think Isa was considered a weak failure unfit to be among the organization’s number unless he became stronger. And so Xemans assigned him that purpose so he could finally be useful for once.

“Is it true about Castle Oblivion…?” he asked, not looking his superior in the face.

Saïx’s response was icy. “That’s no concern of yours.”

“What about Axel?” he pressed. Hearing that name, Saïx narrowed his eyes faintly, not even enough for Roxas to notice. He wasn’t attuned to such subtle changes.

“Who knows,” Saïx finally said. “Perhaps he is among the lost.”

He’s BY FAR the most self-loathing organization member, in my opinion. The way he treats everyone is a reflection of how he sees himself. As a human he was made to think he was totally and utterly useless. He thinks it’s pointless for Xion to worry about Roxas since there’s nothing she can actually do for him.

“There’s nothing you can do even if you do go. Xion will not wake up.”

“That’s not the point!” Roxas snapped. “I should still be with her!”

Saïx didn’t have to talk that way. Maybe Roxas wouldn’t be able to do anything besides look in on her. That didn’t matter—he wanted to see how she was. Why was Saïx being so obtuse?

He says the same thing to Roxas when he was worried about Xion.

Roxas: Why were you working him so much harder than you do me? Is he that strong?

Phil: Well, sure. He’s a hero, kid. If I put a squirt like you through that, you’d croak on me.

Roxas: So people work you harder when they have expectations? The Organization expects me to do hard missions all the time. Aren’t expectations the same thing as orders?

Saïx has the most problems with people who remind him of his past in some way. He has BIG issues with Axel, Xion, and Xigbar. And in the manga they really show how much he hates Demyx. He comes with Roxas to Olympus Coliseum several times, and on Day 153, a few days after Saïx berates Xion for failing her mission. And it’s to show that Demyx is not good at fighting nor is he very motivated. He is barely useful to the organization. He is always asking for a vacation and constantly slacks off.

Roxas: What kind of missions do you usually work?

Demyx: Me? Recon stuff, mostly.

Roxas: No taking out Heartless?

Demyx: Nah, it’s rare that I do anything that strenuous.

Roxas: But aren’t you expected to?

Demyx: Ha, they know better than that. They wanna keep the machine running, they pick the right tool for the job.

The organization has low expectations of Demyx and therefore doesn’t assign him any task that is too difficult.

Day 153: This Is Gonna Be a Hit!

I’ve got me a new hit single! X-face is always barking at me to work, but what’s he expect me to do against a monster like that? I mean, stop and think about skill sets when you divide up the labor already!

But Demyx wrote this in his report on that day. Saïx is always barking at him to work, even though everyone knows he’s not the right tool for the job. This suggests a personal issue, because Xemnas never complained about Demyx being a problem. If he wasn’t contributing in some way, he’d have been erased already.

Saïx’s estimation of Xion seemed to have plummeted lower than ever. True, she’d lost badly against the Organization impostor—but that was Riku. Defeat was all but inevitable against him.

Failing to carry out a mission was unacceptable, of course, but not impossible. She could always challenge Riku again. If the mission was so unsuited to her in the first place, though, Saïx ought to know better as the one in charge of handing out assignments. And Axel was beginning to suspect at least some of the blame lay with him. Saïx held some particular grudge against Xion…

Saïx is a workaholic ladder climber, motivated to reach the top of the organization hierarchy. But more than that, I think he’s just desperate to escape the memories of his past. 

Axel: Ouch! Roxas, that’s not cool.

Roxas: But look at him! All he ever does is lie around playing that sitar.

Axel: Aw, he’s not that bad. He’s got his own missions to—Does he? Huh. I actually have no idea what he does.

Xion: You know, I’ve seen Demyx out in the field, rocking out on that sitar of his.

Roxas: What does that accomplish?

Axel: Hey, for all you know, he’s out there fighting Heartless and doing recon–just the same as you.

He doesn’t want to be looked down. He thinks he has to justify his very existence by being useful.

Roxas: But I’ve heard him say he wasn’t cut out for combat. I guess everybody in the Organization is good at different things.

Axel: That’s right. Everybody’s unique.

Xion: Even Nobodies? Don’t you need a heart to be unique?

Axel: Oh, I think we have other things that set us apart. Like our pasts. That’s one of the things that makes the Organization members special. Unlike lesser Nobodies, we remember who we were.

I think Demyx reminds Saïx of his past self, so he is especially harsh on him. On the other hand, Axel was very quick to defend Demyx’s usefulness to the organization, even though he couldn’t think of any ways that Demyx was actually useful. Axel just hates thinking of people as tools who are only valued in terms of their usefulness, and I think this had to do with Isa. 

If you cannot wield the Keyblade to its purpose, you have no place in the Organization. Keep that in mind and make sure to eliminate Heartless with the Keyblade.”

“…I see. I’ll be more careful,” she replied.

It was Saïx who told Xion she was useless without the Keyblade, and why she was hiding in Twilight Town. Axel gave them the idea to tell Saïx that working together would raise their motivation. And you can just tell that Saïx was annoyed as soon as they said it.

“If you’ve got troubles, you tell them to your friends… right? Roxas.”

Roxas nodded, and said, “We’re… friends, right?”

“At those words, Xion finally spoke. “I can’t… use the Keyblade anymore.” “I have to collect hearts. And so, if I can’t use the Keyblade… I… am useless.” Xion hung her head. Her melting ice cream dampened her hand.

This part of the story is all about best friends.

Axel cut off Saïx’s scolding. “It’s okay, isn’t it? Working together, these two newbies could finally work at least as much as one person, right?” Saïx turned to Axel with a sour look on his face.

“If we can go together, I think we’d even be able to handle harder missions,” Roxas added, immediately. Saïx shook his head slightly.

Axel was obviously drawing on their past to convince Saïx to let them go together. He even mentioned newbies coming of age.

“What did you intend to do?”

“What did I intend to do? Offer some friendly help?” Axel replied, and grinned at Saïx.

Saïx knew from the very beginning that Axel was covering for Xion. I definitely think Roxas and Xion’s dynamic reminded Saïx of Lea and Isa’s dynamic way too much for his liking.

“But, you’d have to try twice as hard from now on, Roxas.”

“I’ll do my best,” said Roxas giving a strong nod.

But, Xion looked worried. “…Is that okay?”

“Of course it’s okay!”

“But…” Xion cast her eyes down again. The ice cream in her hand was mostly melted.

The look on his face tells you he doesn’t like hearing any of this. He lets them go simply so Axel won’t talk about it anymore.

“When you’re in trouble, you can count on your friends, right, Roxas?” Axel said, and Roxas smiled, looking at Xion.

But the idea is that best friends will pick up the slack for you if they have to.

“Al, Al, A~l! If you can’t rely on your friends in this kind of situation, when can you rely on them? The Carpet says so too!”

This theme from Agrabah was continued into KH2.

“But Genie is good, right? Helping his best friend. I can’t do a~nything, so I can’t show my friendship,” said Iago, still looking down. “Naah. Friendship, it’s not about helping your friends, or not, or anything, I think it’s fine as long as you can have fun together.”

Flowing up in Sora’s heart, as he said that, was his own important friends. The important best friends he still hasn’t been able to meet.

Friendship isn’t about being useful. This whole concept feels tailor-made for a character like Saïx.

At that moment, Axel poked his head in. “Oh, is Roxas going to Beast’s Castle?” Xion gazed up at Axel, as if clinging to his presence. Axel glanced her way, and nodded to her slightly. “I checked that place out yesterday, and that Heartless looked pretty darn tough. I reckon it might be impossible for him to get that thing on his own, hmm ~”

“Are you trying to tell me to let them go together?” asked Saïx in a disagreeable tone.

Axel was also referencing their youth on Day 96. Roxas and Xion needed to work together again. Saïx knew he had no real argument for Axel because he used to rely on Lea.

Belle: I wonder if he’s off chasing those horrid creatures again. He’s had to do that every day for weeks… I wish there were some way I could help. Perhaps I’ll ask Cogsworth and the others. I’m sure that together we can figure something out.

Beast’s Castle was all about motivation. The Beast wasn’t just fighting for himself. He was fighting to protect his servants and Belle. And Belle wanted to spend more time with the Beast. In the manga she tried very hard to be useful and it’s actually funny since she’s so inept at fighting. Cogsworth and Lumiere’s reactions were probably similar to Lea’s worrying over Isa.

“Well, I think you can be inseparable, even if you’re apart,” said Axel. Roxas and Xion shared a look.

“Really?”

“It’s like, if you feel really close to each other. Like best friends.”

At first, Roxas didn’t know why they needed to fight the Heartless. He questioned whether they really needed hearts, but just went along with it. He didn’t feel that motivated, and wanted to know why the Beast was fighting so hard. Xion became motivated when she felt like she wasn’t alone. That’s how she got her ability to use the Keyblade back.

“But, you know, hanging out every day isn’t the only thing that matters. We’ll still have one another, even if that changes.”

“Really?” Roxas perked up.

“Yeah. As long as we remember one another, we’ll never be apart. Got it memorized?”

Roxas and Xion found their motivation by wanting to hang out together forever. In the manga, they tell Axel that they want to complete Kingdom Hearts so they can eat ice cream together every day. In the game, Roxas never states any particular motivation. He was happy as long as Axel and Xion were around. He didn’t really understand what having a heart would do for him. He just wanted the days hanging out eating ice cream and watching the sunset to last forever.

Xion turned to look at Xigbar. “Just Kingdom Hearts. I was thinking how pretty it is,” she replied.

Xigbar began to chuckle, then outright laugh. So Xigbar found something funny in what Xion said? I still don’t really understand how that guy thinks.

“Did I say something weird?” asked Xion, looking at him strangely.

“No—you’re growing up into a fine young thing, as they say,” he said, and laughed his head off.

It’s probably that… since the Keyblade returned to Xion, even though she hasn’t gone on missions with Roxas, she’s keeping calm and composed. If that’s what he means by growing up, then it’s true, but I don’t know why that would make him laugh this much.

The next chapter in the manga is titled “Sweetheart” and it takes place around Day 117 ~Secrets~. And it still involved motivation and work ethic. After Xion got her Keyblade back, she was very motivated. Everyone was commenting that she was fired up. Xigbar said she was growing into a fine young thing and Axel assumed it meant she was becoming more independent.

Demyx poked his head in between them. “Heya, what am I missing? Somebody tell a funny story?”

“We were just saying how Poppet is a lot more useful that you,” said Xigbar.

“Huh?” Demyx shrugged. “I don’t get it.”

Finally, Saïx intervened. “Xion.” She looked up and scurried to him, while Axel took the opportunity to get up from the sofa.

“You’re working with Axel today,” Saïx told her. “Don’t dally.”

And Saïx was acting like a drill instructor. In the novel, after Xigbar said Xion was growing up, Saïx interrupted when Xigbar said Xion was more useful than Demyx.

“You’re working with Axel today,” Saïx told her. “Don’t dally.”

“With Axel?” Xion turned to the Nobody in question.

Axel nodded jauntily. “Yup. We’re partners now.”

“Well, as long as you stay out of the way.”

“Excuse me? That’s my line.”

Saïx watched their banter with a withering glare, which actually cut Axel’s laughter short. Xion noticed, too, and quickly assumed a more professional bearing. In an attempt to break the suddenly oppressive mood, Axel asked Saïx, “Anyway, where’s Roxas off to today?”

“He and Xigbar will be taking a look at another new world.”

He also got very irritated at Axel and Xion’s banter before their mission. In the manga he does this too, but it happens later. I think he got so annoyed because it reminded him too much of his past self. The “unusually incensed” line also  seems to be a reference to Saïx’s past.

In any case, I don’t really get why I had to go on a mission with her right at this time. There are certainly a fair few Heartless, but with the force Xion has now, I think she could fight just fine without my help.

“That should be all of them over here, I think.”

“Hey, you’ve gotten pretty good at this.”

“Huh? What’s that for?”

“What? I’m just commending your hard work.”

“Can you not be so weird about it, then?” She laughed.

Suddenly, Xion’s face went hazy in Axel’s vision. He rubbed his eyes. What was that…?

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Uh, nothing…” For an instant, he thought he’d seen Naminé.

Xion was so fired up because she finally felt useful. Axel compliments her hard work and this happens in both the novel and the manga. Axel was asked to observe Xion and he thought she was incredible. She fought just like Roxas and he felt like his help wasn’t needed.

The sea… A seashell. To Axel, there was only one person that brought to mind. Sora. He thought he knew a thing or two about Sora’s memories, scattered as they were by Naminé’s handiwork in Castle Oblivion. You could hardly get away from the sea back where he was from—the Destiny Islands.

And that good luck charm, the symbol of Sora’s promise to Kairi… Wasn’t it made of seashells? So it wasn’t just Sora. It also made him think of Kairi, a Princess of Heart.

If Xion had some connection to Naminé, then naturally, that memory of hers pertained to Kairi somehow. Naminé was Kairi’s Nobody, after all. Or maybe it meant that Xion was related to Kairi herself. So whose Nobody was Xion? Now that he was thinking about this, he had to wonder if seeing Naminé in Xion during the mission was more than just random hallucination.

“But, Axel, you have memories, don’t you?” Xion asked.

“More or less. Not that they’ve ever done me any good,” he replied, looking over at her.

At the end of the mission, Xion and Axel discussed their memories. Axel knew that Kairi’s good luck charm represented their promise to each other.

“Hey. Sorry I took so long.”

“You sure did,” Xion told him with a grin, slipping the seashell back in her pocket. “We finished our ice cream ages ago.”

Roxas sat down beside her. “Xigbar cut and run. I had to finish the mission on my own.”

“Sounds like you earned yourself the treat,” said Axel.

Not wasting any more time, Roxas dug in. Axel pocketed the stick from his own ice cream.

Axel treated Roxas to ice cream after Xigbar left him with all the work on their mission together. And he also put the popsicle stick in his pocket after Xion put the seashell back in hers. Axel was sentimental about the WINNER stick long before Roxas ever gave one to him.

Xigbar, listening in with his arms folded, finally had to make a remark. “You’ve been working so well, Poppet.”

“Uh, thanks,” she mumbled.

“What’re you thanking me for?”

“Well, you gave me a compliment… Or did you?”

“Ha! I guess it was a compliment, wasn’t it?” Xigbar held a fist to his mouth, not quite covering a laugh.

“What did I say that was funny?” Xion looked uneasily up at him.

“Oh no, nothing. You’re completely right.”

If Saïx was interested in their conversation, he gave no indication.

Axel gave Saïx a knowing glance when he said Xion found her motivation. In the novel, Xigbar was teasing Saïx by saying almost the exact same thing Axel said to Xion when he was praising her. Apparently the organization was monitoring the memories that Xion absorbed from those around her. I definitely think that’s why Xigbar bullies Saïx so much. He must have seen a memory of Lea treating Isa to the icing on the cake as “motivation”.

“Yes. It seems that unless he completes some task before the rose withers, he’ll remain a beast forever.” Xaldin smirked at his own cleverness. “A beastly curse and a rose… Heh-heh. This will prove useful.”

“How?”

“Trying to explain it to you would be a waste of time. Let’s go, Roxas. No more dallying.” With that nonanswer, Xaldin left the chambers.

Roxas dallied anyway, peering through the doors again. The rose, the thing he treasures, is his weakness? Nope, I don’t get it. I wonder if Axel will know what it all means…?

After Axel leaves, Xion bungles a mission. And Axel returns just in time for her to get in trouble and start avoiding Roxas. The morning Roxas hears her being scolded is the day called “Fear” where he asks Axel if he has anything he can’t bear to lose. I think Isa was considered “useful” to the organization in the same way Xaldin considered the rose and Belle useful. He was useful for his ability to harm Lea.

Day 171 ~Love~

Before returning to the castle, Roxas saw Beast, wounded from protecting what he cares for, with Belle there to care for him. Love had grown between the two. Xaldin declared the power of love to be worthless. Roxas asked what that power was, but Xaldin said that explaining the concept to a Nobody with no heart would be pointless, and departed.

Left alone, Roxas contemplated what love might be. At their usual spot, Roxas asked Axel what love is, but got no answers. Perhaps completing Kingdom Hearts and gaining a heart would offer some answers. Roxas watched the sunset with these thoughts on his mind.

Xion collapsed on Day 171, the day about love.

Day 172 ~Sound of the Surf~

Before leaving for a mission with Luxord, Roxas heard that Xion failed another mission and fell into a deep slumber. Roxas disregarded Saïx's order to not worry about a failure like Xion and went to her room.

Roxas found out the next morning, and Saïx told him not to worry about a failure. It’s similar to Xaldin saying that love is worthless, and the stuff of poetry, not practicality. Roxas’ worrying won’t actually DO anything for Xion in any practical way. And I think Isa’s feelings were probably belittled in the same way. There was nothing he could actually do to help Lea. His worrying was “useless”. He felt like he had nothing to offer.

“So, Saïx, what am I doing to—? Oh, boy. Awfully early for such a bad mood, don’t you think?” Saïx had whirled to face him with a rather pronounced scowl.

“…Nobodies do not have ‘moods’ to be ruined,” he said at length.

“Well, sure, technically…” Of course, with no hearts, they couldn’t have moods or fits of temper. If something went frustratingly awry, their faces might reveal shadows of remembered emotion, no more. Still, for a remembered shadow, that was a mean glower on Saïx’s face. “Did I miss something?” Axel wondered.

“Xion has collapsed again.”

Now Axel frowned. He sure had missed something. “Did she get hurt or what?”

“No,” Saïx replied, any hint of expression vanishing from his face. “It’s just that the failure was functioning better than expected until recently.”

“‘The failure’? Is that what we’re calling her now?”

The weapon representing Isa’s personality is Bunnymoon. It’s a symbol of the power of love which is “worthless”. Lunatic is the weapon which brings out Saïx’s “true worth”.  And a lunatic is someone who is dangerously mentally ill.

“I want to go with you,” she told him in no uncertain terms. A slight frown of concern came to his face.

“Don’t you need some more rest?” Maybe he was still worried. But she wanted to get going.

“I’ll be fine. C’mon, let me tag along.” Roxas took a few reluctant moments before giving in.

“All right.” Xion immediately jumped out of bed. Now they just had to persuade Saïx. They discussed it briefly and stopped their superior just outside the lobby.

“Saïx!” He glanced sidelong at Xion.

“Well, well. It lives. There’s just no keeping you down.”

Xion was also "particularly incensed” on Day 193, and in the manga there is very similar dialogue to the novel on Day 117. Saïx was also annoyed at their banter on this day. Day 117 was the first time Xion and Axel worked together. Day 193 was the first time Roxas, Xion, and Axel all had a mission together.

“Let me go, too,” Xion entreated. “I could use the exercise.” A pause turned into a silence just slightly too long.

“What’s the problem? She’ll have me looking after her, too,” Axel finally said.

Still, Saïx made no reply. He and Axel appeared to be in a staring contest—and not an entirely friendly one. It made Xion nervous.

“Fine. Go, if you’re so determined.” Saïx capitulated.

Saïx also seemed to know that Xion was going to collapse on this day, just like how he expected it might happen on Day 117. Axel definitely was remembering a specific incident related to his past on both days. And Day 193 is called “Memories”. I think Saïx was so dry and sarcastic to Xion because she was being treated so similar to how Isa was.

“You’re not wrong…but don’t let your guard down,” Axel told them, bringing up the rear.

“Quit being such a worrywart, Axel.”

“Maybe I could if you two would quit giving me so much to worry about,” he retorted. Xion and Roxas exchanged a look and laughed.

“So…where are we headed first?” Axel asked.

“Station plaza,” Roxas replied.

“Any particular reason?”

Roxas and Xion were having too much fun and not taking the mission seriously. They were more concerned with having fun and eating ice cream afterwards.

“We want to be able to get back to the tram common to get ice cream, right?”

“Huh?” Axel wasn’t following.

“So we’ll start at the farthest point away from the tram common and work our way toward it. That’ll make it easier once we’re done.”

“That’s smart, Roxas!” Xion exclaimed.

“It is…?” Axel mumbled.

Axel isn’t getting it, she thought. But that doesn’t really matter. Working together as a trio, here in Twilight Town—it just makes things more fun.

Axel thought they were letting their guard down. And in the KH2 manga, Axel temporarily knocked Saïx out and said he still had “the same holes in his defenses”.

“Xion!” He called her name, gently setting her down, but she was unresponsive. He’d been so careless.

He had no idea exactly why Xion seemed to collapse so often. But he knew that she did, so why would he let her go on a mission immediately after she started to recover? As he berated himself, something occurred to him.

Axel knew that Kairi’s good luck charm represented their promise to each other, which was also discussed on Day 117. After Xion collapsed, he remembered that she said she had no human memories. And he also knew that Kairi was Sora’s light in the darkness. Sora was the only person besides Xehanort who became a Heartless and retained his self-awareness. Axel was interested in him because of this.

Day 193: Dreams, or Memories?

Author: Xion

I finally wake up, just to pass out again? Why? Because I'm a failure? I dreamt the whole while I was out. It was something nostalgic, but what? Why can't I remember? It could be a key memory from my human life. All I can remember is the sound of waves, gentle, in the distance.

Xion had a feeling that her dream was really a memory and a key one, at that.

Naminé: But what...what if he needs those memories in order to wake up? What if they're the key?

Sora needed his most precious memories to literally awaken  from his slumber. Naminé said this on Day 224 ~Anomaly~.

Day 224: Xion

Author: Axel

Even if Xion is a replica—a puppet—she's still Xion. I understand that in my head, but how do I interact with her now? Riku Replica was just a tool, but I can't just use Xion. No, I was wrong to have just used Riku Replica in the first place. How is a man-made puppet any less worthy than a Nobody that was never meant to exist at all? They're both ambiguous. Tenuous at best. And she's my friend. Even if neither of us should exist, that doesn't invalidate the bonds we form. Next break we get, I told her we'd all go to the beach. I hope we get the chance. Our little summer vacation. I know if we can get together and laugh about stupid stuff, this nagging doubt will go away.

Axel had a report entry on this day. He talked about how he was wrong to use the Riku Replica as a tool, and wants to take Xion to the beach. 

Saïx: I'm sending you with Demyx today. Try to inspire in him a little of your work ethic.

Day 224 took place at Olympus Coliseum with Demyx, and Roxas fought Xigbar. It’s never explained the reason Xigbar was there, though.

A memory. My first memory. Saïx took me by the hand and brought me out of Castle Oblivion. “This is the last you’ll see of these walls… Xion.” Yes, I remember what he said to me. And I remember where I was. Castle Oblivion.

Xion also almost falls off the clock tower on this day, like Roxas in KH2. In the novel, we learn that she remembered being taken out of Castle Oblivion by Saïx when that happened.

Secret Report 1: Recollections

Secret Report 1 is obtained after clearing Battlegate 1 at Olympus: Realm of the Gods / Courtyard.

Am I alive? I awoke in a cell, alone until the researchers came with their tests and their prodding to uncover my identity. I had no answer to offer them. I was simply called "X" there. One day, a man came to take me from the prison. I could not see him for the darkness, save that he wore an eyepatch.

I really don’t understand what was going on between Xion and Saïx, and it makes me sad that we’ll never learn the truth. But their memories definitely seemed to be connected somehow. And because she was causing him to relive certain memories, he began to hate her and call her a failure non-stop. I think there was probably a connection between this report from KH3, which is found at Olympus, and Xion’s first memory.

Saïx: Well, that didn't take long. Did it break again?

Roxas: She's not an "it"!

Axel: Keep your mouth shut.

Saïx: You have changed...Something at Castle Oblivion changed you. Does the past mean nothing to you now?

After Axel came back on Day 193, he was cold to Saïx and it scared Roxas.

As Axel fanned Sora’s curiosity, he fell into thought himself. Nobodies were guided by their memories. But that was precisely why they might lose sight of what those memories meant. Maybe it could really happen.

“You’ve lost sight of the light within the darkness. And it seems that you’ve forgotten that you forgot.”

“The light within the darkness…,” Sora murmured, as if it reminded him of something.

Axel seized on that. “You want me to give you a hint?”

Just like Sora needed his memories, Axel needed his memories to awaken from his figurative slumber.

“But be forewarned… When your sleeping memories awaken, you may no longer be who you are now.”

That’s why he changed. And it’s why he felt compelled to tell Roxas and Xion that he got ice cream with them because it was fun, not because he got any “use” out of it. Isa was considered useless and worthless. I think Isa deserves a Keyblade to redeem himself.

[kierongillen]

Writer Notes: The Wicked + the Divine 39

Spoilers, obv.

And we collapse forward on the keyboard and twitch a while. This has been nightmarishly hard. I suspect the last arc will be hard (as nothing in WicDiv is easy) but the things we were juggling here were something else.

Before we dive in, some top-level thinking. The advantage of the way WicDiv is constructed is that we know what we're doing. A friend was just rereading the first arc, and noted how certain elements and approaches simply changed as the tone of the book solidified – while also noting that every direction we did take was there from the off. We knew the What We Were Doing but not always the specific How.

(Not least, as I was a hot mess in 2014. I'm amazed the WicDiv scripts weren't just bahsjasjfaglagsfk.)

But the problem with knowing the direction of the book is you're tied to ideas you may wish you hadn't put in play. Because a five year book is enough time to change significantly in what you consider a good idea or not – and even if you still think it's a good idea in the abstract, it doesn't mean it's an idea you would necessarily want to do any more.

At this point, there's various things flying around. Firstly, Laura has rejected her godhood. That's great. That's clearly the arc of the book. Secondly, Ananke is running her own eternal scheme with its eternal rules. I don't think it's a spoiler to say that Ananke (and I'm using “Ananke” for “Ananke and Minerva” here) is significantly deceiving people on some key matters, and using the holes in their knowledge to her advantage. At this point in the story the same thing happens to her. We see that her own perception is also incomplete.

So – what's the thing she's missing?

I fell upon Maiden/Mother/Crone as a structure to create a relationship between Ananke/Persephone/Minerva. What action would Ananke buy?

It has to be archetypal and mythic. Cheaty postmodernism doesn't work. Myth is brutal and basic and ugly and wrong.

So – if the Mother archetype has a child, Ananke's doomed forever. It breaks the little eternal circle and Ananke thinks herself trapped in that sensory void forever.

There's nothing in the above specifically and individually which worries me too much. It's how they intersect with the rest of the plot, and how we can chart a line between them all without saying anything we don't want to say, or without causing undue emotional distress in a way we're uncomfortable with.

We end up with our solution, which is merely our best solution, which means it's far from perfect. We do as much as we can, and try and touch on stuff as gently as we can to avoid any fair misreading of the story. Even so, there's resonances in there I dislike.

There's a sentence that is said all the time in writing room situations: “This is the bad version.” It's said when people are brainstorming, and asking the audience to know this isn't good, but they are good enough writers to make it better – it's just a structure of the sort of things that the narrative could delineate.

It's easy to imagine The Bad Version of this plot. Laura finding out she has to have a kid to save the world! Baal and Baphomet fighting over who's the father! An issue cliffhanger where you think Laura's own choice has doomed the world! I shudder. Like, someone with a different aesthetic to me would have done all of the above.

Instead, what we try to do is what we have to do to make the story work, and do it in the safest way possible. It's the guiding aesthetic of most of this issue, in terms of separating the two key threads – namely not confusing Laura's choice to have an abortion and Laura's choice to reject godhood.

But still – I spent four years trying to think of something that Ananke would buy, based on our implicit story, which wasn't this, and failed. I'd rather not have gone this way. I'm happy with the issue, but it was a heartbreaking amount of work as I take all of this intensely seriously.

So, to return to the opening, the problem with being as structured as WicDiv is means that you are tied to decisions you made years ago, without which the story simply breaks.

DIE (aka Project Spangly New Thing) rejects this kind of plotting. It's just as messy emotionally as WicDiv (hell, even more so) but leaves the characters a lot more narrative freedom. I'd have done it anyway (because I hate to repeat myself) but the experience on arcs like this certainly feeds into it.

Anyway – I'll be talking some specifics in this as we go through, as I suspect it may be useful for people thinking about the impact of choices.

Jamie's Cover: Ananke in her cavewoman chic. That means 2 “persephone”, 2 “minerva” and 2 “Ananke” covers for this arc. The symmetry seems fun.

Phil Jimenez's Cover: I first saw Phil's work in his pop-thrill issues of The Invisibles, an obviously influential work on yours truly. We worked together on Angela: Asgard's Assassin together, which was a thrill, and this glam-metal take on her. He's also very lovely. As such, Minerva in full-on catwalk mode is a great take. I love these kind of maximalist high-thrill ones. And LIZ's ‘When I rule the world’ has just come on my WicDiv shuffle at this point, which seems appropriate for Minerva stomping down a lightning-catwalk. Also, Dee Cunniffe (who has flatted nearly all of WicDiv) provides colours. Nice work, Dee.

Page 1-2

Black spaces. Like the opening of the arc – C's idea, I believe. Also, ensuring we get our page turns right. We dropped the recap for once. Normally we'd drop it in the mid-point of the issue instead of the first interstitial, but it would have broken the space.

Obviously mirroring the start of this arc.

The first obvious bit of delineation: this is ten days after the end of last issue. Laura stopped being Persephone 10 days ago. As such, anything that happens now is not connected to that.

The biggest reading we wanted to avoid: “Laura's abortion is the ritual by which she rejects and escapes the Persephone-Mother archetype”. Especially if people, either pro or anti choice, could make an argument we're saying we're saying the act is human sacrifice – a reading which seems especially possible in a story that already has human sacrifice in it.

Page 3-4-5-6

Reestablishing what folks have been up to in the gap – in short, bits and pieces, bits of information the characters should exchange, etc.

The Cass/Woden dialogue is stuff I'd have liked to get into issue 33, but was cut due to space and focus. It was Mimir's scene, and as he's been silent for the whole book, he gets to speak. The “He stole my life/I stole his” was all that was required. This is detail. Interesting detail, but detail. And, yes, loaded.

There's a lot of “starting other stuff” in this sequence – clearly the “ritual” is going to be important next arc.

I love what Jamie is doing quietly with Mimir and the boxes at the back of the room on page 4. Like, I wonder what's in each of those boxes, right? There's some horrible pure objectification here. Like, Pokémon. Got to catch them all.

You can tell that Woden is more chill with Minerva, right?

It was originally written with Minerva noting that mind-controlled-sex-is-rape at the end of page 4. That felt frankly aggressive, as if we were using it as a punchline. Instead, we soften it, and move it mid-panel, which changes the feeling around it, hopefully.

On page 6, I really like the “Hmm. You're learning.” It still makes me laugh.

Making the gun's controls REALLY VISUALLY OBVIOUS is not exactly subtle, but 100% needed to make sure the scene make sense.

Page 7-8-9

With a month gap between issues, it's possible that the reader may not have noticed that we've changed the issue structure from the rest of this arc. It's not “past stuff then present stuff” like the others. It's at least one reason why we didn't give a preview – that and that the first pages of the issue are entirely non-characteristic in terms of where the issue goes.

Anyway – first page is a pure repeat from issue 34, so a free page. This issue is a little longer than normal, due to normal cheats. It's actually 20 new pages long... plus one new panel.

Page 8 is very peak Jamie, plus Matt, for a certain mode. I never get bored of seeing what they do with blood together. Ananke's expression in panel 4 is just particularly well chosen. This isn't how Minerva feels last issue – that's after thousands of years of dwelling on it. This is first exposure. You don't go straight to AGRGRHRHRHRHH.

And back to the still angle on the third panel. Like, the static nature of these seems important in terms of mood.

I really hope Ananke isn't licking that knife.

Page 10

I spent the best part of a day trying to work out what to name this interstitial, after naming it a few things previously. That we end up with a very limited Bowie nod says everything. Anything else seemed to create resonances we were trying to avoid. Once more, the aim is to separate the two decisions from Laura as much as possible.

Page 11

I know drawing London kills Jamie, but I'll miss seeing stuff like this monthly when it's gone.

We don't know Laura's walked out of a clinic for a few pages, but it was important to just give her space here.

Researching locations in London, in terms of placing the events, the timing, what would be available, and Laura's condition after an abortion and trying to find a way to be sensitive to all of that as a writer. Ideally, I was looking for an option around Highbury & Islington, as I always prefer to reuse settings. In practise, this was best.

Page 12

I basically described Beth's crew as Valkyrie-plusses. As in, the mini-bosses in a videogame. Elite models for a basic troop type.

Toni pushes to the front, as he's always been the most talkative of the Other Two. Writing this I realised who he is here – he's basically “Imagine Marvel Boy, if Marvel Boy was a total idiotic dipshit.”

(Instead of the “mostly idiotic dipshit” he was in YA. Love you, Noh-Varr! KISSY FACE.)

I believe Jamie laughed at this a fair bit.

Page 13-14

I considered various captions for Laura here, but no matter what they did, they blurred the line between her abortion and her abandoned godhood. As such, the relative silence was considered more effective.

13-14-15-16

A lot is packed into this space. In an ideal world, I'd like another page for it, to extend Beth's choice to shoot or not, but it's all there.

Key delineations here: obvious restatement of the 10 days since she's been a god, to ensure it's clear. “Panel 3”; Beth never knowing (nor caring) where Laura has just been; Robin actually being human; Laura's privacy being respected; the “I've got more imminent problems” to separate her being shot from this; most importantly, Laura never knowing that this decision was important to Minerva, and never letting Minerva's mistaken beliefs impact her decision. Laura' abortion is her choice and doesn't need a bunch of mythic stuff attached to it for her.

The “shame” line resonates with another, more optimistic, line on the first page of Young Avengers. This speaks to the books, and the choices and the attached psychology.

Page 17

Oddly, the “no cameras in the bathroom” information we've set up allows this scene. Minerva isn't someone who would vocalise much if someone could have hear. You can imagine her looking in each booth to see if someone's around. I did consider moving to captions for a page, but Minerva getting captions for this one event seemed aesthetically off.

Page 18

Self-evident interstitial, and so long a bit of text I can hear designers wincing.

Page 19-20

Earliest scene so far in WicDiv. I did consider having it set after the murder, with the grandson coming back to hear her last words, but the “alive-dead-alive-dead-alive-dead” was getting a bit silly. A quietly magical breakfast conversation seemed the way to go.

I think the bleakest and darkly funniest thing in the issue is the “Eventually, we'll learn. It may take a thousand years, but someone will figure it out.” Oh, you total optimist, you.

I do like the mood of the colouring for this.

Okay – the key structural bit for safety-proofing this plot? The absolute minimisation of the gap between discovering the fourth rule, discovering Laura has had an abortion and then discovering that the fourth rule is just a lie. The longer it hangs, the more it is letting people live with an idea we find reprehensible. The thing I knew when starting this arc is all of this had to happen inside the same issue – the problem there being, that it also had to be foreshadowed enough to not come out of nowhere. And if you foreshadow too heavily, it's as same as saying “this is where it's going”.

Anyway – that wrapped up, we move towards the end...

Page 21-22-23-24-25

The continuation of last issue's end. Laura and her captions.

Some perfect McKelvie expressions, and some key beats. Like, this also adds shade to last issue – I forget if I mentioned that one of the key beats of the series (Laura rejecting her godhood) being dramatised by her swapping a SIM card seems absolutely key to where we are.

Two key expressions – the glance to camera with “I'm not a god” and “So what? So do you.” I could marry Jamie for these.

Matt working the blacks and the ochres here is fascinating.

Thought experiment: originally the layout on page 21 had two captions in panel 3 and two in panel 4. I moved the first from panel 4 to panel 3. Why? A single caption always has more weight in a given space. Having two in each was effectively giving no extra weight to any individual caption. Instead, three in one makes that the conversational beat and the one over the spiral-staircase means the latter just hangs there.

(In short: less dialogue/caption in any space makes the line more important. SPACE=MEANING is what I've been saying all along, usually with panel size. As in, “bigger panels read as more important.” But the same sort of thinking applies to lettering in terms of the space it is allowed to “control.”)

End of page 21 – a final restating of the two events being separate. Laura choosing to have an abortion is something she decided when starting to put her life back together. It's not a cause of her stopping being a god – if anything, it's something that's resulted from her new state of mind.

Lots in terms of mode in 22, but I love how Jamie has handled the nudity in the second panel. As in, she's a girl changing for bed, but she's never presented as something to be objectified, to looked at. Laura is always someone we're meant to be. We are meant to inhabit her, and her us.

The panel at the start of 23 is the extra panel we squeezed in. One panel for this amount of extra material, leading to the better reveal seemed a good choice.

Did I mention I lost a line I really liked last issue? The “At long last, I know what I'm not” was originally “I know what I am/and I know what I'm not.” Which is pretty and elegant, but also confusing with this ending – the “what I am” is “not a god” and what I'm not” is “a god”. Prettiness only goes so far, especially as it's not as if Laura's going to stop and explain that.

Lots of key bits of dialogue in these pages, obviously. “I distrust anyone who tells me who I am. Especially if I agree” and all that.

Obviously in storytelling choices, this is reprising, in an inverted way, the end of The Faust Act. Instead of a flash of light, fading into darkness, darkness emerging from light. Also, really strong choice of expression in that final panel.

26

Referencing ‘Dancing In the Dark’. Springsteen's is obviously great, but I'm thinking of the Downtown Boys' cover which is much closer to where WicDiv is coming from.

I choke up at all this scene. Been a long way to get here, Laura. Onwards.

The trade collection for Mothering Invention is out in October. We have two Specials before next arc, WicDiv: 1373 (out at the end of September) and WicDiv: The Funnies (out in November.)

We're then back in December, where we begin our final arc.

It's called – “Okay”. Including the quotation marks. Yes, we're going out on another Bowie reference.

Thanks for reading.

[ges-sa]

New Post has been published on https://ges-sa.com/captain-marvel-review/

Captain Marvel Review

Captain Marvel, Carol Danvers, soars into the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) higher, further, faster, with much fanfare and a fair amount of anticipation as the first solo female helmed movie in the every expanding Marvel Studios cinematic franchise. Despite much derision and push-back from some corners of the fanbase due some poorly chosen comments along the movie’s promotional campaign, ‘Captain Marvel’ delivers just about what you’d expect from an MCU film at this point. A perfectly fine and entertaining film in its own right, but not necessarily one that overly excels in a given area or delivers any awe inspiring locations, effects, concepts that helped propel many other recent Marvel Studios efforts above the rest.

 Taking place on Earth as well as space and alien planets, Captain Marvel gets caught in the middle of a galactic war between two alien races. Paraphrasing the synopsis, I’m still surprised there isn’t more to it. That is basically the movie in broad strokes. I should also add that along the way; Carol Danvers must explore her past to embrace her future. The movie starts off on a new set of alien worlds we have not yet seen before in the MCU, one of which would have been interesting to explore and get to know more, but we are only treated in this film to a cursory glance at this time. Things seem a little out of sorts and confusing at first as we are thrust right into the story and are placed in the protagonist’s point of view and attempt to make sense of lots of different information and exposition in a short span of time to figure out things along with her via information and flashbacks. This is an interesting narrative choice and something a little different from previous MCU offerings. As a result much of the first act seems to meander along and drag a little, despite an action scene to keep things from getting too stale early on, until the action moves to Earth which is when the movie starts to really get going and settle into a good stride. It’s no coincidence that this is soon when Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) enters the story; more on him later. This movie does a less graceful job of carrying the girl power message than ‘Black Panther’ did in delivering a non exclusionary embrace of African culture. Most might not even notice among the kinetic action scenes and girl power music but there are some moments when the movie tries a bit too hard to take a jab at men or show how Captain Marvel could be so much more if not for these male figures in her life. While subtle enough to not overtly offend anyone (particularly at least about half the target franchise audience), it’s still there nonetheless.

One thing that the film has going for it is being set in the mid 1990’s and they do a decent job of playing up some 90’s brands, jokes and technology in contrast with what we’re more familiar with at the tail-end of the 2010’s. Visually speaking this is one of the more low key films from the recent years of the MCU. There’s some splashes of vibrant colour in space settings, in the visual representation of powers and energy blasts and some of the costumes are colourful and don’t downplay the colour palette but overall more of a low key affair visually for the most part, more akin to ‘Captain America: Civil War’ and earlier MCU movies of the early-mid 2010’s, which isn’t s knock on the production and visual effects departments as much as an observation. Aside from some good portrayal of the Skrull transformations, the most impressive thing visually is definitely the now infamous de-aging effects that have been used for a couple years now in multiple Marvel Studios and Disney related films. It is so seamless and so perfectly applied to Samuel L. Jackson and Clark Gregg in particular (and possibly also Annette Bening perhaps) that you won’t even notice it. Some truly fantastic visual effects work in that regard.

 The score courtesy of Pinar Toprak is an interesting one and bares some slight audio similarity in places to a ‘Thor: Regnarok’ or ‘Captain America: Civil War’, although much like the movie itself, a low-key score that services the visuals on screen and mostly fades into the background, so much so that I barely noticed it throughout much of the film compared to the songs. The main theme is probably one of the better pieces of music in the movie but it barely featured that I could tell except for perhaps the climax which is a shame.

The runaway star of this movie isn’t even the lead actress protagonist, but rather her co-star Samuel L. Jackson. He owns the role of Fury after more than a decade of playing the character and immediately commands the screen whenever he is on it and gets to portray a young, more bright-eyed and bushytailed version of Fury. He has so much personality, energy and enthusiasm and it comes across on screen. He has great interactions and on-screen chemistry with whom every he’s interacting with and elevates the whole movie simply with with his presence. Trailing behind (but not by much) is everyone’s favourite British villain Ben Mendelsohn playing alien Skrull leader Talos. He has some fun with the role and gets to play things up more than I’ve seen of him in other movies he’s appeared in and by the movie’s conclusion was of the character’s who left the most lasting impression. I left very impressed by Lashana Lynch in this movie, playing Carol’s best friend Maria Rambeau. I hadn’t recalled seeing her in anything prior to this movie and while she isn’t given that much to do and work with, she easily won me over in the time she got and with her delivery. Phil Coulson returns to an MCU movie for the first time since ‘The Avengers’ in 2011; having maintained a presence to the shared saga’s narrative though the televised series ‘Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.’. He is great for the time he is given but is criminally underused in this movie.

Brie Larson herself plays fourth fiddle in this movie and seemingly only escapes ranking fifth due to having more screen time and importance than Jude Law. Brie Larsen seems likeable enough as her character evolves throughout the movie although for the most part comes across as very stern and emotionless throughout. Early on these fits the character’s situation, but even later, save for a smile and slight chuckle her here there, she never seems to shake that. She seems far more expressive in interviews along the marketing tour and some interviews. Hopefully she will grow into the role and/or maybe get to display more under the helm of different director’s but as of right now, Carol Danvers seemed like one of the less engaging heroes to come from Marvel Studios in quite some time so hopefully she and The Russo Brothers can turn that around next in ‘Avengers: Endgame’.

All in all, a rather standard film by Marvel Studio’s standards, which has set the bar high in recent years, but is still overall fun enough and entertaining compared to many action adventure films available. I didn’t feel like Marvel Studio’s out did themselves with this one as I did after ‘Captain America: Civil War’, ‘Doctor Strange’, ‘Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2’, ‘Black Panther’ or ‘Avengers: Infinity War’ but also had a good time watching it all the same and I feel like audiences and fan of the franchise will as well. With a touching Stan Lee tribute and story to explore before ‘Avengers: Endgame ’ next month; there’s hopefully enough here to wet people’s appetites before then as if they aren’t wet enough already . And as always, mid and post credit scenes at the end so stay tuned and get your money’s worth.

[phantasticlizzy]

Your Mess Is Mine

Summary: “I know what you’re thinking,” he said with a serious tone, catching Dan off guard.

“Do you?” honestly, it wasn’t that hard to guess.

“Yes. You’re thinking that this hat totally clashes with everything else I’m wearing, and you’re not wrong.” He was looking at Dan with round, shiny eyes. Dan blinked at him a few times, dumbstruck.

——————————— A university!au where Dan is a third year student dealing with demons from his past, and Phil is the peculiar guy from his Greek mythology class who he just can’t quite get out of his mind.

warnings: mention of suicide (not discussed in detail), Minor Character Death

read on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12640926/chapters/29106768

chapter 3

words for this chapter: 2260

read last chapter here

start at the beginning

They went to a small coffee shop that evening not far from Phil’s apartment. There was a middle-aged lady in the counter that seemed to recognize Phil, smiling at him warmly and asking after his wellbeing. The place was warm and cozy and had bright wallpaper on the walls and very soft, colorful couches and armchairs to sit on, and a nice sent of vanilla and chocolate was lingering in the air.

The place was definitely screaming ‘Phil’ and Dan found that he liked it immediately.

Phil was wearing a bright, green jumper under his puffy coat with a picture of a cat on it and the caption ‘are you kitten me?” in bold, pink writing, and upon seeing Dan he immediately explained in excitement that he finally found something in his wardrobe to match the pink hat. He wasn’t wearing his glasses today, and Dan noticed how much more colorful his eyes actually were compared to what he remembered.

Phil ordered them both a hot chocolate with whipped cream without asking Dan’s opinion on the matter, declaring that it was the best hot chocolate in the whole world and it would be a crime if Dan wouldn’t try it at least once in his life.

Dan didn’t care. He hated choosing what to order. Wasted way too much time in his life looking through menus and regretting his decisions once he made them. And besides, there was something absolutely charming about Phil enthusiastically ordering both of their drinks, smiling big and bright at him with his pink cheeks and ridiculous pink hat that at this point he hadn’t taken off of his head yet.

They spent a few hours in that coffee shop that evening. Dan was pleasantly surprised to find out that even though he and Phil were very different from each other, they had a lot of similar interests and practically the same taste in movies and books and TV shows.

He found out, for example, that Phil was a big fan of horror as well, which came as a big surprise to him.

“You just don’t look like the horror type to me,” Dan said when Phil demanded explanation for his surprised expression.

“What does that even mean?” Phil asked, but he didn’t look offended, just a little amused and genuinely curious.

“I don’t know! Just… you look like you get jump scared easily,” Dan said.

Phil smirked at him then, leaning a little forward on the table.

“Oh, I do get jump scared really easily, that’s what makes it fun though! What’s the point in horror if you don’t get scared?”

Dan chuckled. “That actually… makes a lot of sense.” He said, sipping from his drink (which he had to admit, was the best hot chocolate he had ever drank in his life).

Phil leaned back then, looking at him with a little mischief in his eyes.

“We should watch some horror movie together sometimes, like something properly scary.”

Dan hummed in agreement.

“But I should warn you, I get really clingy when I’m scared, like an octopus,” he added, gesturing with his arms in what Dan assumed was a way to represent his clinginess, hugging the air and doing grabby hands.

Dan felt his cheeks heat up a little at the thought of a clingy Phil glued to his side while watching a scary movie, but chuckled in response, trying not to lose his cool.

“I think I can handle it,” he answered, trying to sound confidant and calm and not like the overeager mess that he was.

Phil looked him up and down at that, making Dan even more nervous.

“Brave, I like that,” he said eventually, leaning forwards again and resting his elbows on the table and his face on the palm of his hands in a way that Dan actually started to associate with him.

“Oh do you now?”

“Yes.”

There was no hesitation in his answer, no teasing or sarcasm and Dan found himself, once again, dazed by Phil’s response.

They talked about a lot on that date. Nothing too personal or deep, but a lot of rumble and questions and Dan found himself smiling and laughing more than he could remember doing in a long time.

He found out that Phil was studying linguistics and English literature and was on his second year of uni, and when Phil asked he told him that he was a third year drama student, which Phil found very exciting.

“Drama? That’s so cool!” he exclaimed, eyes sparkling and enthusiastic and Dan never felt more sure about his major choice in his life.

“That’s such an interesting choice!”

Dan didn’t want to burst Phil’s bubble. Didn’t want to explain that the reason he chose that particular major was because he needed to choose something. Needed to get out of his house and town and past and drama was something he vaguely remembered liking when he was young.

So he didn’t. He just smiled and nodded and asked Phil another question to change the subject, which Phil gladly did.

He also found out that Phil was 22, which came as a surprise to Dan because he just assumed that Phil was younger than him.

“Did you take a gap year before uni?” Dan asked.

“Two, actually,” Phil answered, and for the first time that night he looked a little reluctant to talk about something, so Dan didn’t push.

“Oh, that’s cool,” he said, not asking any more questions on the subject, trying to make Phil relax again. Phil seemed truly grateful for that, quickly starting to talk about the last Marvel movie he saw.

By the time they walked out of the coffee shop they were both feeling giddy and pleased by their date, Dan could tell.

He was sneaking glances at Phil next to him, taking in the way he was wrapped up in his long scarf, the way his cheeks started getting red again in the cold and the way he was swinging his arms back and forth a little as they walked.

And as he did that, he noticed Phil stealing glances to his side as well, both giggling at being caught in the act.

He offered to walk Phil back to his apartment, but it seemed like they both were in no rush to go their separate ways. They were walking slowly and continued their conversation about nothing in particular.

And Phil just kept saying all this things that Dan wasn’t expecting. All those things that made Dan mentally stop and repeat them in his mind. And he found that he liked how different Phil was, how surprising and fresh and unique his thought process was.

At some point though, Dan started to notice that they were passing the same liquor store they passed already 15 minutes ago. And even though he was horrible at directions, he doubted that Phil’s neighborhood had two stores called “Amy’s Winehouse.” (Honestly, he was surprised his neighborhood had even one).

He stopped walking at the realization, making Phil stop as well.

“Are you sure you know where we going?” He asked Phil, as he was supposedly leading them to his apartment building.

“Yeah, why?”

“I’m pretty sure we’ve passed this street at least once before.”

“Oh, yeah, I know. We actually passed it twice already.” Phil answered, and even though he tried to look unfazed, his cheeks were getting darker and darker, and Dan was pretty sure it wasn’t from the cold.

Dan smirked at him, allowing himself to take a step closer to Phil.

“Is there a reason why we are walking the same street for the third time tonight?” He asked, even though he was pretty sure of the answer.

Phil looked a little shy at Dan’s words, which Dan found a little bit too endearing.

His mouth was covered by his scarf and his eyes were staring somewhere on Dan’s chin and he took a step closer, reaching out his hand to play with the zipper of Dan’s coat.

“I was stalling” he answered, peeking at Dan’s eyes a little.

“Were you,” Dan teased, and noticed that his hands found their way to Phil’s waist without him even thinking about it.

Phil nodded, and then he lifted up his face and let his colorful blue eyes stare right at Dan’s.

“I think you’re cute,” he said determinedly, sincerely, and again, Dan found himself a little surprise by this response.

“I wrote on the note I gave you that I wanted a chance to tell you that I think you’re cute in person, so this is me, saying that I think you’re cute, and hoping that you’ll go on a second date with me.”

Phil said it all in one breath, and Dan couldn’t stop the giant, embarrassing smile that grew on his face. And honestly, he didn’t even try.

“I would like that,” he answered, and he couldn’t even find it in himself to tease Phil or to be subtle about how much he wanted this to be the outcome of their date.

Phil was really close to him now, his hands moved from Dan’s zipper to his shoulders and he was grinning brightly and happily and he looked so pleased by Dan’s reaction that Dan couldn’t stop himself from wrapping his arms more securely around Phil’s waist, pulling him a little closer, looking at his inviting, pink lips.

“I should tell you now,” Phil started saying, making Dan’s eyes shoot right back up to his. “I don’t kiss on the first date.”

Dan was a little surprised by this sudden announcement, but didn’t let it phase him

“As a rule?” He asked, still not drawing back, because Phil didn’t either.

“Yes.”

“No exceptions?”

Phil shook his head.

“Can I ask why?” Dan asked, because he was genuinely curious.

“You can, but it’s pretty silly.”

“Try me.”

“It was something I read in a magazine once when I was a teenager. Something about like, self-worth and stuff.” He started, looking at Dan’s zipper again.

“I had this... reputation at school, but I was never in any relationship. And I liked it at first, made me feel validated and appreciated, but none of those people stayed for more than… well you get the picture.” He chuckled a little awkwardly, and Dan tightened his hold on his waist.

“So basically, that’s when I decided on the no kiss on the first date rule.” He added, letting his eyes go back to Dan’s face. “To scare away all the douchebags and creepers.” He was smiling again and Dan knew he didn’t want him to make a big deal out of it.

“Not silly at all,” Dan settled on saying, squeezing Phil one more time and smiling at him before letting go and starting to walk again with him by his side.

Phil was smiling brightly again and there was a small skip to his step and Dan wandered how many times Phil explained to potential suitors that he didn’t kiss on the first date and ended up with a different reaction to Dan’s.

“I do hold hands on first dates though,” Phil said suddenly, looking sideways at Dan with a cheeky smile.

“Is that so?” Dan answered, but kept his hands to his sides.

They walked a few more moments before Phil broke. “It was your cue to hold my hand, if you didn’t get it,” he looked adorably frustrated and Dan wanted to wind him up just a little bit more.

“Yeah, I figured.”

“Dan!” His voice was whiny and Dan couldn’t help but laugh, just a little.

“What? My hand is right here, you can always make the step if you want to.”

Phil huffed in annoyance. “I can’t! I already asked you out, and asked you on a second date, I have to keep some of my cool,” Phil said and it was so ridiculously cute it made Dan reach out and grab Phil’s freezing cold hand in his own immediately, squeezing tightly.

“Can’t argue with that logic,” he teased gently, lacing their fingers and rubbing his thumb up and down on the back of Phil’s hand.

“Your hand is really warm,” Phil said.

“And yours are really cold, where are your mittens?”

“Forgot them. Lucky I have my human hand heater with me tonight,” He smiled wide at Dan, and Dan smiled wide right back at him.

“Yeah, lucky,” he said, squeezing Phil’s fingers tighter, trying to heat them even more.

When they finally came to a stop in front of an old looking building, Phil looked reluctant to let go of Dan’s hand, and honestly so was Dan.

“Talk to you soon?” Phil asked, facing Dan with their joined hands swinging between them.

“Yes.”

“When I say soon, I mean, like, tomorrow. Even today if you want. Don’t do the whole ‘wait three days to text thing’.” Phil added, and Dan stopped himself from making a comment about how he texted right after getting Phil’s number, but got no response. Because honestly it would have been tasteless and unnecessary of him to say that and Dan wasn’t even upset about it anymore.

“I’ll text you right when I get to the dorms,” he promised.

His answer made Phil smile even brighter and lean in to leave a kiss on Dan’s cheek before untangling their hands, giving Dan one last wave before walking away.

Dan waited until Phil got inside the building before turning away as well and making his way back to the dorms, his cheek feeling warm in the cool night air.

Notes:

so there we go! another chapter :) how did you like this one? it was so fun to write! i wanted to say thank you for all the nice comments you left on the last one, i love reading your thoughts!

[the-desolated-quill]

Into The Dalek - Doctor Who blog

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

Deep Breath couldn’t have been a more disappointing start if you tried. Into The Dalek on the other hand is pretty damn good for the most part. There are some problems, sure, but the quality is night and day compared to the previous episode. Maybe Phil Ford’s input had something to do with this improvement. I don’t know.

On the spaceship Aristotle (subtle), the Doctor discovers a Dalek that seems to have turned good. So he, Clara and some soldiers from the future get shrunk down and go for a little trek inside the Dalek to see what caused this. Now yes, this premise is similar to The Invisible Enemy just like the plot of Deep Breath was similar to The Talons Of Weng-Chiang, but unlike Deep Breath, Into The Daleks is actually entertaining and does just enough to make the premise its own. I mean come on. It’s the inside of a Dalek! How cool is that?! We finally get to see how it actually works, and there’s a lot of imaginative concepts here. I like the Dalek antibodies, the whole idea of a memory cortex that edits and suppresses memories to keep a Dalek ‘pure’ is intriguing, and we finally get an explanation for the sink plunger at last. So it’s used to absorb protein from victims? How positively revolting.

But let’s talk about the thing I love the most about Into The Dalek. The Doctor. Now we’ve gotten past all the post regeneration nonsense, we can finally see what kind of Doctor this one is going to be, and it’s very dark indeed. Warm and cuddly he most certainly ain’t. He’s very cold and methodical. The scene where he lets one of the soldiers die in order to use him to track the antibodies was a bit of a jaw dropper, but i liked it. It’s still very much in character and it’s a side of him we don’t often get to see in New Who. I’m also pleased to see that the humour has improved since Deep Breath. It’s no longer goofy whimsey. This Doctor’s humour is much more acerbic and dry, and he delivers a lot of darkly comedic lines.

Journey Blue: (referring to the protein vat) “Is Ross here?”

The Doctor: “Yeah. He’s the top layer if you want to say a few words.”

This kind of humour fits Peter Capaldi like a glove and he does a great job portraying that cold logic mixed with callousness. but what I especially love is how this episode explores this Doctor’s priorities. One of the many things that’s been bugging me about New Who, and about the Eleventh Doctor especially, is how the Doctor has been sliding closer and closer to being an all powerful saint who can do no wrong. Not only is that incredibly boring, it’s also not who the Doctor is at all. Sure the Doctor is a decent person who will always try to help those in need, but he’s not a god or a superhero. He’s just a guy. He can make mistakes, he’s capable of doing morally questionable things and sometimes he can let his own scientific curiosity and self interests get the better of him. Into The Dalek really seeks to highlight that. Throughout the episode, the Doctor is utterly convinced that there is no such thing as a good Dalek, and when he fixed the radiation leak, he knew full well there was a chance that the Dalek would revert back to its murderous self, but he did it anyway. The Doctor knew that fixing the radiation leak could make the Dalek evil again, and he didn’t care. All he cared about was being proven right. I love that because it adds a whole other layer to the character and makes him all the more interesting.

But as much as I enjoyed Twelve in this, there are some aspects of his character I don’t like. For example, the whole self doubt thing and his constant need to seek Clara’s approval. Considering he just retconned the whole Time War in order to save his own race and defended Trenzalore for centuries, I don’t see why the Doctor is furrowing his brow over whether he’s a good man or not. Especially when the answer is so painfully obviously yes. He may occasionally be selfish and self absorbed, and can sometimes make mistakes, but he always tries to do the right thing. And can I just take this opportunity to debunk the idea yet again of the Doctor being completely ineffectual without a companion. It seems as though the Doctor can’t do anything without needing Clara to hold his hand and guide him through everything, which just feels totally wrong.

But by far the thing I hate most about Twelve is his soldier prejudice. I’ve spoken at length in the past about how idiotic the whole pacifist thing is considering the Doctor has often resorted to using violence and guns in extreme circumstances during the classic series. Yes I suppose you could argue that Nine and Ten’s PTSD might have exacerbated the whole ‘no guns’ thing, but Twelve takes it to a whole new level. He hates soldiers to the point where he rejects Journey Blue’s request to travel with him at the end, but he doesn’t actually seem to have a good reason for his hatred. Journey doesn’t do anything wrong as far as I can see. He just hates soldiers because the script said so. You’d think, considering he recently met the War Doctor, that he would be slightly more sympathetic to soldiers, but nope. It just doesn’t make sense and the whole idea of all soldiers being bad is just too narrow minded.

It’s such a shame as well because I actually really liked Journey Blue. Zawe Ashton did a really good job in the role and I loved how she interacted with the Doctor. She clearly has a begrudging respect for him, but at the same time she’s not prepared to put up with any of his bullshit. I would much rather she was travelling with the Doctor than Clara because I feel Twelve really needs someone to pin him against a wall sometimes and challenge him. Clara seems to have more of a teacher/pupil role with him (with Clara playing the teacher role, which is wrong in and of itself), which just feels incredibly patronising. Journey’s relationship with the Doctor is more believable and thus more engaging in my opinion and I would kill to have her in the TARDIS with Peter Capaldi. I know some people didn’t like how aggressive and stroppy she was, but to be fair, she did just lose her brother. I think she’s got a right to be a little bit cranky. And the scenes with her uncle, played by Michael Smiley, do more than enough to humanise her in my eyes so she’s not just an angry, shouty woman. They have this really professional relationship, but you can detect a familial warmth underneath.

I really enjoyed Into The Dalek for the most part, but it’s when we get towards the end where the wheels start to wobble. The Doctor realising that all the Daleks could potentially be turned good isn’t a bad idea in and of itself. The problem is what this plotline focuses on. In the end, it’s the Doctor’s own hatred of the Daleks that turns Rusty into a Dalek killer rather than the reformed good guy the Doctor wanted, and we’re clearly supposed to be thinking about how much hate and prejudice the Doctor has towards the Daleks, but it doesn’t work. Not only have we basically explored this already in 2005′s Dalek (and done it better), I can’t help but feel Phil Ford and Steven Moffat have missed the point of their own story entirely. Honestly I think this tells us more about the Daleks than the Doctor. My main takeaway from this isn’t how hateful the Doctor is, but rather how utterly beyond help the Daleks are. Rusty was banging on about destroying the Daleks long before the Doctor mind melded with it. The way I see it, what turns Rusty isn’t the Doctor’s hatred, but rather its own desire for hatred. The Daleks don’t just want to hate. They need to hate. Whether it’s hating against humans, Time Lords or their own fellow Daleks, it seems that is a Dalek’s sole purpose of existence. Even in an attempt to expand its consciousness, Rusty ends up going for the one thing it recognises within the Doctor. Hatred. Why? Because that’s the only thing it knows how to do. It’s kind of tragic when you think about it and could have been used to great effect. This could have been an opportunity to shine a whole new light on the Daleks and present them in a way that’s never been done before, but instead Ford and Moffat sidestep what could have been a very interesting issue to explore in favour of retreading old ground. They’re focusing on entirely the wrong thing here, which is frustrating.

And then there’s the whole situation with Danny Pink. Samuel Anderson does the best he can with what he’s been given, but I’m not impressed with this character. Not only are we doing the whole cliched romcom shit again like we did in The Lodger, it’s also yet another stupid mystery for Moffat to drag out over the course of the series. What did Danny do while he was a soldier? And just to make sure all subtlety is thrown out of the window, we even get a prolonged shot of a single poetic tear trickling down Danny’s cheek. It’s really pathetic. Moffat is so bad at getting us to care about his characters that he has to resort to melodramatic bollocks like this to try and drag some kind of emotion out of us. Also, fuck you Clara. I don’t know what sort of emotional trauma Danny went through (and I don’t really care neither), but he’s clearly suffering from some form of PTSD, so to make dismissive jokes about it really is just beyond insulting. (And while I’m complaining about Clara, can we drop all the companion slapping Doctor jokes now please? Like I said in the past, it’s not cute and sexy. it’s assault and battery).

While there are a few flaws here and there, I still had a lot of fun watching this episode. I’d say this is definitely one of the better Dalek stories to come out of New Who.

[whole-dip]

Some thoughts on every single disney animated feature film I've currently seen

-Snow White: This movie is nowhere near as boring as I expected it to be, but still pretty boring. Its technical innovations are incredible within context but it truly couldn't capture my attention whatsoever. The only reason I watched it is because I had to write a paper about it.

-Pinocchio: Clunky. There was a logic at the time at disney that the movies would more or less be a series of related cartoons tied together with a through-line and this is very much that. While it is still a cohesive narrative, it's very much a series of events rather than a story.

-Dumbo: More of a narrative here, but still very disjointed. The animation is good and it has much more personality since it's more or less a contemporary setting, but outside of the famous pink elephants sequence, it's not much.

-Bambi: This is what I'd consider to be the first truly cohesive story from disney's feature. This movie is truly phenomenal and well earned its way into the canon of epics. Bambi's journey from young fawn to prince of the forest is beautiful and moving. The jokes about dead moms only stick because this movie is just that good.

-Saludos Amigos: The first of the package films. Doesn't hold a candle to the superior Three Caballeros but still incredible in its own right. It's short enough to do a double feature with Three Caballeros so that's how I recommend viewing it.

-The Three Caballeros: Now THIS is what I'm talking about! The finale gets due recognition for being truly one of the best pieces of animation to come out of disney, but everything up to it is still pretty incredible. Horny donald is the best donald and I love the flying serape sequence.

-Melody Time: This one's very disjointed but Pecos Bill is one of the best and funniest shorts disney's ever made. I highly recommend at least watching just that segment.

-The Adventure of Ichabod and Mr. Toad: Sleepy Hollow's disney adaptation is the much more famous half of this feature but in reality, it's got practically nothing to do with the headless horseman. Mr Toad however, is truly phenomenal as an epic crime thriller that will keep you in suspense. I know that sounds like a joke but truly it's not. Go watch it.

-Cinderella: Boring

-Alice in Wonderland: Also boring

-Lady and the Tramp: I was shocked at how much I enjoyed this one. It's fun, cute, and even funny at times. It really drops the ball in the finale, but for the most part, this romantic comedy is a real gem and definitely holds up. I recommend to kids and adults alike.

-Sleeping Beauty: It's wild how contemporary this one feels. The first half is a teen romantic comedy about mistaken identity and sneaking away from strict parents to get some time with your secret crush, but the second half falls apart with its focus on action instead of the characters. Special shout out to the incredible colors and moving tapestry art style which is great throughout.

-One Hundred and One Dalmatians: Again, surprisingly contemporary. Disney's first foray into the 1960s gives us a fun romp with memorable characters and gorgeous animation that feels down to earth compared to the more fantasy driven works of before.

-The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh: Is Pooh disney's greatest character? That's hard to say but I wouldn't disagree with someone that thinks so. Cute, fun, and funny, this movie is truly a warm blanket. For as much as we give shit to sickly sweet disney, this movie doesn't pretend to be anything but a small little story of cute characters. The surprisingly somber ending will leave you more contemplative than you expected, but still content to have spent time in the hundred acre wood.

-The Little Mermaid: I am always saddened to remember that this movie doesn't hold up as much as I wish it did. For every memorable song or character moment, there's a piece of clunky animation or just plain weird dialogue. It's so clear the studio was trying to get back on its feet. This first step pushes forward, but not where it needs to be.

-Beauty and the Beast: A slow first act leads to a truly phenomenal second and third. A triumph in animation, songwriting, and the studio itself. Far more nuance and beauty in this story than detractors like to claim. Well deserving of its nomination.

-Aladdin: It's not a heartfelt movie with some laughs, it's a comedy with some heart. Great action sequences, stellar animation, and just plain fun. After the regal romance of beast a year earlier, Aladdin's vegas style romp is a welcome addition to a studio that often takes itself way too seriously

-The Lion King: Like with bambi, this coming of age story deserves all the praise it gets. Incredible music, awe inspiring animation, and a tight storyline with memorable characters make this movie worth watching over and over again.

-Pocahontas: Maybe the most contrived, try hard, fucking boring movie the studio has ever made. Almost unwatchable.

-The Hunchback of Notre Dame: I am always shocked to find out this movie isn't a beloved classic. Truly incredible art and an amazing score/soundtrack make this one an instant classic to me. If you haven't watched it since childhood, give it another shot.

-Hercules: If it was just funny and had good music this one would be good, but it also has some of disney's best characters and a beautiful story of dueling world views.

-Mulan: Would've been a 10/10 if it weren't for fucking Mushu which makes it a seven to me. Otherwise, a fun, story with great music and truly epic action scenes.

-Tarzan: Often considered the weakest of the renaissance, this adventure about identity and family features a great (if too in your face) phil collins soundtrack with truly amazing animation innovation being displayed.

-The Emperor's New Groove: It's not funny.

-Atlantis: The Lost Empire: I truly can't think of a single bad thing about this movie. Incredible art, one of disney's best scores, and a story that will keep you captivated on its adventure. This movie is near perfect.

-Lilo & Stich: I once heard someone say this is disney's best film and I'm inclined to agree. The gorgeous water color backgrounds and Chris Sanders' beautiful character design play out a beautiful story that reflects a story of two abandoned children, with nuance about colonization to boot. Hawaiian Rollercoaster Ride might be the best original disney song too.

-Treasure Planet: Such a hit or miss movie. Amazing action set pieces, but contrived characters. A phenomenal score, but a terrible soundtrack. This might be the most studio noted film disney's done and it's all the worse for it.

-Brother Bear: Not perfect by any means, but the beautiful animation and even more beautiful backgrounds are worth a look. The story is a little too basic and a little too predictable, reeking of white writers.

-Chicken Little: This is the first time I realized movies could be bad.

-Meet the Robinsons: Your nostalgia lied to you.

-The Princess and the Frog: Way too many cooks in the kitchen. Everything is good, but it's all a little muddled. It's a shame to because Tiana deserves better.

-Tangled: Like with mermaid, this return to form isn't perfect but it moves the studio forward. Rapunzel and Flynn are great characters and the subtle tweaking of the "formula" show the studio's willingness to innovate.

-Winnie the Pooh: Cute, but a very pleasant, fine movie. Worth watching.

-Wreck-It Ralph: I applaud this one for being so different. Lots of comedy here and a far better response to dreamworks than chicken little ever was.

-Frozen: Unfortunately, this movie is worth the hype. Is it amazing? No, but it's certainly very good. It's easy to see why this was the phenomenon it became.

-Big Hero 6: One of many in the series of attempt for disney to do an action movie. This superhero coming of age is definitely one of the better superhero stories not explicitly based on a comic, but it still feels like a comic book themed movie rather than a story that truly connects to the media that inspires it.

-Zootopia: Nowhere near as poignant as it wants to be, but plenty of fun with a great score by Michael Giacchino.

-Moana: Easily the best of the new princesses and a damn shame that it hasn't gotten the recognition it deserves. Moana's stellar animation and blast of a soundtrack create a beautiful film that's perfect for young girls. Seemingly a stealth remake of mermaid by the original directors, this one deserves to be a classic.

-Ralph Breaks the Internet: A surreal comedy from disney with a weak story but certainly some story innovations you wouldn't expect from the company. Watch it if only to see something you'd never expect the studio to do.

-Frozen 2: A surprisingly lore driven film that I really didn't expect. Probably the closest thing the company has done to a lord of the rings style story in recent years and I'm excited to see what this potential leads to next.

-Raya and the Last Dragon: Rips off way too much from Last Airbender in a way that is never bad, but man it gets kinda borings. Can't focus on any one thing unfortunately.