#better part of a decade

[powdermelonkeg]

Important rules/tips I've learned as an adult that helped with anxiety

If people are mad at you, it's their responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess

If they're mad at you in secret anyways, they're the ones in the wrong, not you

If people don't like what you're doing, it's their responsibility to tell you

If they say it's fine when it's really not, they're the ones in the wrong, not you

People are allowed to be wrong about you

If they are wrong about you, wait for them to bring it up, because if you try to, you will inevitably overcorrect

Some people are committed to misunderstanding you. You will not win arguments against them. Yes, even if you explain your point of view. They do not care. Drop it

The worst thing that will happen from a first-time offense is being told not to do it again. Maybe with a replacement if you broke something

You can improve relationships and gauge willingness to talk to you by giving compliments. It's like a daily log-in bonus and nobody thinks twice about it

Most things are better after you sleep on them

Most things are better after you have a meal

Most things are better after you shower

Your brain makes up consequences that are irrational. If the worst DOES come to pass and someone acts like they do in your head, they are overreacting, and you are entitled to say "what the fuck"

If your chest hurts after you feel like you've made a social error, that's called rejection-sensitive dysphoria. It means your anxiety is so bad that it's causing you physical pain, which is a good indicator that you're overreacting. Tense yourself, hold it for 20 seconds, let it go, then find a distraction

If you're suddenly angry at someone after you feel like you made a social error, that's also rejection-sensitive dysphoria. You are going to feel annoyed about it for awhile, but being genuinely pissed off is your anxiety trying to find something to blame to take the responsibility off your shoulders, and getting scared because it can't justify itself. Deep breaths, ask yourself how much you ACTUALLY want to be angry at that person, then find a distraction

"Sour grapes" is more healthy for you than stewing. Deciding you don't like someone who's perpetually annoyed with you, won't talk to you, etc. makes letting go of anxiety over them easier

If people don't like you, they will find reasons to be annoyed with you when they otherwise wouldn't. If people do like you, they will find reasons NOT to be annoyed with you when they otherwise would. People do not ping-pong between the two

You DO have to make a conscious choice not to think about something. If you're having trouble circling back to it, say out loud that you're done thinking about it and why. Then find a distraction

When you're upset, part of you is going to want to make false bids for attention (suddenly texting differently, heavy sighs, etc. but when someone asks you about it, you tell them it's nothing). Do not listen to it. You gain nothing from it except more misery

People like to help people they care about. It makes them feel good about themselves

If you think you're insufferable for needing help, see above. Yes, really. They get a serotonin kick from it

If you think you're insufferable for mannerisms you have, you either have to consciously choose not to do them, or accept that they're part of the package that comes with you. Being apologetic about existing does nothing except make you more miserable

If you do things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it makes it easier to do them when you hate it

If you avoid things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it reinforces and magnifies how bad it feels when you hate it

Seriously. Read those last two points again. If you can make yourself make a phone call when you've got nothing to lose, you will slowly lose that panic you get when you have to make a phone call you haven't prepared for. You do have to CONSCIOUSLY take that step

Hobbies that make you care for something get rid of that nagging feeling that you're not doing enough. Go grow some rosemary

If you don't engage with your hobbies regularly, you will feel miserable, and anxiety will spike

Hobbies are things that give you a bit of happiness. They do not have to be organized or named to do that. Go be creative in something. Play with coins. Make up lists. Start a new WIP

No one cares what you look like

If people point out things they don't like about how you look unprompted, they are being rude. You are entitled to say "what the fuck"

People who like you will find you pretty to some degree. Minor things about your appearance go completely unnoticed. Literally, scars and dots and blemishes do not register to someone who likes your company

You looking at yourself in the mirror is 10x more closely than anyone is going to look at you

If you're anxious about your body type, and you're creatively inclined, make/write an oc with that same shape. Give them nice things and make other characters love them. Put them on adventures. You'll start to see yourself in the mirror more kindly

You care about wording and perfect lines/colors way more than anyone who views your work ever will

Sometimes when you're upset, you're going to feel like not eating. Do not do that. Not eating makes you more miserable

Same with things you normally enjoy. Denying yourself helps no one. You are punishing yourself for being sad. Stop it

Both of these will take conscious decision to break the habit of. Make yourself do it anyways, and it will slowly get easier

And again, to reiterate: If someone is mad at you, it is THEIR responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess

[cacaitos]

following naruysae for years and now reading GK and finally Getting It

[demonic-dorito]

One of the most underrated aspects of the Kirkwall crew dynamics is the fact that Hawke is likely the youngest person in the group canonically

Isabela and Varric are about 30. Anders is in his late 20s or early 30s. Merrill is in her late 20s. Hawke is 24 or 25. The only thing saving Hawke from being the youngest is the fact we don’t know Fenris’ canonical age.

Hawke really went from being the Grown Up in their family to being the youngest in their friend group. Isabela has definitely told Hawke “I’ll explain it when you’re older.” Hawke comments on Fenris being a little slow in battle and he quips back “my knees aren’t what they used to be.” If Hawke gets more kills than Varric, he hits him with “back when I was your age-”

This is canonical untapped comedy gold. Why aren’t we talking about this

[pathos-ll]

Happy Birthday SOMA!

Today (September 22nd, 2023), marks 8 years since the release of Frictional Games' SOMA on September 22nd, 2015.

[chasing-stardust-22]

Dream's stage presence during the TWWTH tour was great, and frankly a lot more than I expected from a guy with little to no experience with live performances. I had no doubt he'd be good at it, but he truly blew me away. And the fact he was able to pull it off so soon after a major surgery that left him unable to walk on his own? Absolutely incredible

I really hope he decides to do another tour in the future, it would be awesome to see how well he could command an audience now that he has a better idea of what he's doing/doesn't have to rehearse through a recovery period

[ricksanchezbignaturals]

i am normal about this. im so normal about how morty hugs rick not expecting to be hugged back but clings to him and is comforted regardless. i am feeling so normal about how tiny he looks when they're that close together. how after everything that he's experienced, at the end of the day he really is just a kid and sometimes he needs his grandpa. im so fucking normal right now.

[tenspontaneite]

Me when default rain world keyboard controls

(I have since remapped)

[diddlesnap]

The Hunger Games but make it an early 2000s shoujo manga

[fantastic-nonsense]

I take the piss out of Jason so much I feel like I have to occasionally reassure everyone that I do genuinely love him and think he's great. he's just an extremely easy target

[bonefall]

so was ashfur just like sitting up in starclan plotting his really good dishonor titles while he watched people live their lives or is he just. lowkey a really excellent namer. actually how taboo would it be for a leader to have a friend of theirs come up with names bc the friend is better at it. that would be so funny

It's actually not taboo at all for someone else to come up with the name, as long as the leader makes it official! In fact, every leader probably has a couple of cats of high status (deputy, patrol head) that they run names by.

If the leader has fully outsourced it may be a bit insulting, like, "oh so you don't want to do your sacred duty??" But kept quiet or done respectfully, that's totally allowed. The leader simply has the holy authority to set the names.

(I like keeping name "rules" loose because I try to stress that names are very personal and dependant on the leader. A Star who knows they are uncreative and has someone they can trust to do this with them? That's a wonderful way to show something meaningful about the character and the way they rule!)

I can see Blackstar doing this with Russetfur.

Anyway... yeah, Ashfur is lowkey just a really creative person. His skill with his absolutely SCATHING Dishonor Titles is that he is FILLED with spite. He looks for something that will HURT his victim and crafts a name around it.

And he doesn't need a ton of "prep time." He came up with Clearface on the spot. She started calling him out on wanting punishments for people who had already paid for their crimes or done nothing wrong, and his gaze was clear and almost considerate, as if he was thinking about her words.

In truth, her little speech was all the time he needed to come up with something that would emotionally obliterate her on the spot.

Not that it was hard to find it for Blossomfall. She oozes insecurity, in his mind. The way she leans on her family. How she does nothing alone. Betrayed her Clan twice, ay? Ha. That isn't the action of someone truly self-assured.

Twigbranch was also easy. She's always apologizing. Eager to please, suggestible. Ashfur has heard she can stand up for herself, yes, so simply plant a seed in her mind. Make her think she's stupid, tell her to pay attention to her claws, and she will make them fumble all on her own.

And that was important for breaking some of the coalition between her and Alderheart. All the cats who are close with the Cleric's den are troublesome. So it's important-- construct a Blasphemy problem. Or, bring attention to it, really.

BB!Ashfur DOES believe in what he's doing. This isn't JUST incel entitlement like canon! Incel entitlement is part of it, but secondary. He really believes that the Clans have strayed from the righteous path.

Openly challenging a leader, defying the will of StarClan, all this inability to prove their honor in battle... he'll fix it. And he means it. These cats are becoming unruly heathens and he will snap them back into line.

Squilf is a bonus, really. The minute it's between her and his wider goals, his goals will win out.

[awesometothe3rd]

[finelythreadedsky]

 On one level the book is about the life of a woman who is hardly more than a token in a great epic poem, on another it’s about how history and context shape how we are seen, and the brief moment there is to act between the inescapable past and the unknowable future. Perhaps to write Lavinia Le Guin had to live long enough to see her own early books read in a different context from the one where they were written, and to think about what that means.

-Jo Walton

[introspectivememories]

i feel like im going crazy i just saw a fun little tiktok about bnha and it was animated and the art style was cute and it was about the dekusquad except bakugo was a part of it???? and it wasn't like an au video or anything bakugo was just a part of the dekusquad??? and so i go to the comments thinking "oh someone's gonna call this out right? like in what world is bakugo part of the dekusquad" but!!! everyone in the comments was just agreeing with the poster??? top comment: i'm glad we all agree that bakugo is part of both squads.... no he isn't????? second comment: bakugo is the founding member of the dekusquad IN WHAT FUCKING WORLD????

[jacksoldsideblog]

truly nothing more depressing than seeing a blog glorifying self harm in the fight club tag in an unironic way and you click through to see its an anorexic 14 year old :/ i wish i could communicate like... it doesn't make you cool or better, it's not an actual way to control things in your life, i am so so sorry you think this is the sexy answer. but also jesus why do you blog about it

[wiltking]

mfw my chronic illness actually deeply affects my quality of life and ability to interact with people and participate in society

[thedevotionaltour]

even for period typical ableism it still drives me nuts for karen to go oh poor matt how can he deal and get around as if he hasn't been blind most of his life at this point and living on his own by himself as an adult for his entire adult life after college and has also lived in the city his whole life like girl use your damn brain he can get around by himself just fine. good god. like take five seconds to use your brain. literally adult man who lives by himself if nothing else that should tell you he is fine and when he needs assistance has the knowledge and ability to go get it you act as if he can't even walk on the sidewalk by himself. he literally shows up to work by himself. it drives me up the wall sometimes how she sees proof of him functioning fine independently literally witnesses it on the daily and still thinks these things. like again foggy isn't great either bc again the period typical ableism (and just general ableism in the world outside of this period as this is a common attitude of viewing disabled people as helpless and unable to function even if they are people who do live independently (and im not touching on people who do need extra support and caretaking in this context. as this post is about these characters in the context of a story. so im talking about what we see there instead of any truly meaningful nuanced way) but the writing here is like. Particularly this way due to the time) he has a modicum more of understanding that matt is literally a capable grown adult man. literally told karen matt is a big boy who can handle himself and then karen went b-b-but you forget he's blind as if foggy hasn't known him for years of his life and is his best friend like PLEASE SEE HIM AS AN ADULT. I AM GOING TO GO INSANE. PLEASE RESPECT HIM IF YOU LOVE HIM SO DEARLY. AND EVEN IF YOU DIDN'T. JUST RESPECT HIM AS A PERSON!!!!!!