#beware of bored Raga

[sulphuryasecretcloset]

How to annoy Paz & infuriate Din

Paz is wiping the sweat off his face with a towel after an intense hour of weight lifting in the castle’s training room when Raga walks by and suddenly delivers a firm slap to his ass with an approving whistle. He jumps, grunting with surprise, and stares after her as she walks away with a pleased cackle.

Paz doesn’t think too much about this incident. Figures it is just Raga venting after being stuck in this castle for days with little to nothing to do.

Two days later, it happens again. Raga’s hand connects with his ass when she saunters by where he’s talking to Liita. The impact makes him jolt and turns Liita into the very embodiment of disapproval. Paz scowls after her as Raga saunters away with a pleased hum. If there is a next time, he will be prepared...

He’s not.

Next time is the very next morning when Paz is in bed, more or less still asleep, lying on his stomach with his arms wrapped around his pillow. He barely registers the movement when Raga gets out of bed. His eyes, however, snap open with startled surprise when Raga’s hand delivers a firm smack to his ass before she disappears into the refresher room. He’s awake after that.

Later in the day, standing in the hallway, Paz is educating a couple of the former Troopers about the Mandalorian culture when there is a sultry sound of approval from behind him. He instantly knows what is about to happen but Raga is too fast for Paz to avoid it and he jumps when her hand smacks his ass. The former Troopers stare after Raga with utter awe and disbelief while Paz lets out his breath in a very controlled exhale.

The day after this, he notices her trying to sneak up on him in the kitchen and Paz turns abruptly to face her. She freezes and stares. He feels a flicker of triumph as he senses her annoyance over her foiled plans. “Not today, riduur.”

Raga doesn’t answer. That should have been a huge red flag. 

Unfortunately, Paz is too busy savouring his win to think and that is why he’s stupid enough to walk in front of her when they leave the room and gets a loud whistle and a firm slap to his ass as a consequence. Jumping, grunting with annoyance at his own idiocy, Paz clenches his jaw.

It keeps happening. Paz figured she’d tire of it eventually, but no. He learns to keep an eye on her, tries to be alert, but Raga is just scarily skilled at sneaking up on him.

Plus there are the times when Paz thought he was safe because no sane person would think about pulling a silly stunt in that kind of a situation. Like when he and Raga were training with their jetpacks, flying high up in the air, and she calls out; “Fall.”

They have endless amounts of codewords for their endless teamwork strategies and this one is where they both deactivate their jetpacks to do a duo-move without the jet flame burning the other. Paz doesn’t hesitate to turn off his jetpack and leans back to drop like a stone, head first, towards the ground, leaving his hands free to fire at enemies or hold Raga steady while she attacks.

And attack she does; his ass. With a firm slap. And she even makes the sound she usually saves for her favourite snacks. Then Raga activates her jetpack and flies away with a cackle before he can do much beyond a startled flail.

Paz finally breaks when she manages to sneak up on him in the armoury and smacks his ass. Not only does he jump this time but a startled squeak somehow escapes his lips, and Paz’ pride simply cannot handle Raga’s triumphant glee. His eyes narrow.

Fine. War it is.

Raga saunters out of the armoury room, still snickering, smugly unaware of the danger approaching her from behind.

The following smack echoes through the castle. Two rooms further down the hallway, Grogu and Junior pause in their game and look in the direction of the sound with curious expressions and quizzical chirps. Three rooms north of Paz and Raga’s location, a group of former Troopers pause in whatever they’re doing and frown as they try to figure out what that sound was. Frozen as he’d just been about to enter the armoury with Din, Corin blinks wide-eyed when Paz walks by them, followed by Raga laughing and rubbing her butt. Din sighs and shakes his head like a very tired old man.

And that should have been the end of it.

Right?

Yeah, that’s what Paz thought as well. Until he is standing there, arms filled with a massive pile of laundry, and he sees Raga emerge; eyeing him like prey.

“Don’t.” Paz warns her, too aware of how defenceless he is with his arms occupied like this. “Don’t you even think about it.”

Raga doesn’t answer. Or move. Does she even breathe? The helmet prevents Paz from seeing her face, but he knows her well enough to sense how the cogwheels are spinning inside her head as she weighs the consequences against the satisfaction of doing it.

“Raga…” Paz growls.

Moments later, Corin forgets what he’s in the middle of saying as Raga runs by the room they’re gathered in. Her cackling laugh growing louder as she approaches and then fades as she continues down the hallway. She’s followed by a blue freight train by the name of Paz. “What…” Corin looks over at Din. “What did just happen?”

Din sighs again. He does that a lot around those two. “You don’t want to know. I certainly don’t want to know. None of us want to know.”

“I kind of want to know...” Leave-it pipes up.

Not long after this, Raga’s cackle can be heard again as she runs by in the opposite direction. Paz, on the other hand, pauses in the doorway, heaving for air and shakes his head.

“I’ll catch up with her later.” He shuffles into the room and over to where Din, Corin, Barthor, Leave-it and Zev’sonya are gathered. A little defensive, Paz straightens his spine and adds; “She’s faster than you’d think.”

“She’s not.” Din deadpans. “You’re just incredibly slow.”

Paz stares at him. Suddenly he’s not out of breath. “Really?” There is an edge to his voice.

“Really.” Din confirms without hesitation and filled with attitude.

Instantly nervous, Corin looks from one to the other. “I’m sure she’s-” He doesn’t get to finish his sentence as there is a startlingly loud slap and a gasp leaves his lips instead of words. The force of Paz’ hand smacking his ass has Corin bouncing up on his toes.

Din instantly goes after Paz, who is already sprinting out of the room.

Rubbing his burning ass, fairly certain he’ll be wearing Paz’ handprint for at least a week, Corin raises his eyebrows as the two disappear down the hallway. “Well, I guess we know what Raga did to make Paz chase her…”

Laughing, Leave-it looks expectantly over at Zev’sonya. “You know, a smack like that is a one-handed applause to your butt?”

She glares back at him. “Only if you want to lose your hand and then your life.”

Sighing, Leave-it slumps a little.

Barthor chokes on a tortured whimper. “I just want to go home. They never grow up. This is why I want to go hoooome.”

In the distance, they can hear Raga laughing and shouting; “Run, Paz. Ruuuun!”

[sayitaliano]

Some random Italian slang

Com’è? = how is it (going)? How are you? What’s up? Dai = come on / forza / please (according on the tone, i.e. “dai, dimmelo!” = please tell me! // “dai!!” = come on!!) Meno male = luckily Boh = Idk, whatever Magari = maybe / if only / I wish so! (according on the tone, i.e. “magari piaci anche a lui” = maybe he likes you back // magari piovesse! = If only it rained! // ti piacerebbe andare al cinema? - ma magari! = would you like to go to the cinema? - I wish so!/I’d love to!) Che palle = I’m so bored / Oh crap (i.e. “non so che fare oggi, che palle” = Idk what to do today, I’m bored // Che palle, pure la pioggia! = Oh crap, here’s the rain too!) Merda! = Shit! Che figata! = This/that is so cool!! (at times is used also ironically) Basta = Enough Piantala! / Smettila / Adesso basta! = That’s enough, stop it! (piantala = lit.: plant it) Che schifo = This/that sucks Bella merda = it sucks (lit.:nice shit) Mi fa cagare / mi fa schifo = It makes me sick, I’m disgusted (lit.: mi fa cagare= it makes me shit) Vai/Va’ a cagare! (vaffanculo) = go take a shit! , fuck you! Ma sei fuori/sei grullo/sei matto? = Are you crazy / our of your mind? Mollare qualcuno = To break up with somebody Mettersi insieme = To start a relationship, to become a couple (ex. Luca e Maria si sono messi insieme = Luca and Maria became a couple) Ricco sfondato = filthy rich (lit.: limitless rich) Con la testa tra le nuvole = with the head in the clouds Veloce come un razzo = (lit.: as fast as a rocket) extremely fast Amore a prima vista = love at first sight (=lit.) Guastafeste = party pooper, killjoy Gufare = to bring bad luck, to jinx (ex. non gufare! = don’t bring bad luck, especially in sports, you “gufi” the team you want to lose, by saying stuff like “tanto oggi perdete!” = you’ll lose today!) Pisolino = nap Saccente (sapone - masculine / sapona - feminine) = know-it-all, smartass (btw sapone is commonly used for “soap”) Non starmi addosso = Don’t push me / Don’t stress me / Don’t stay on me (=lit.) (i.e = allora hai fatto quela telefonata? - la farò, non starmi addosso = did you make that phone call? - I will, don’t keep asking me/don’t stress me )

Bella! = Hi! Raga / Regaz / Raghi = shorten for ragazzi = Guys ( even as “bella raga” = Ciao ragazzi - pretty famous especially some years ago was the sentence “bella raga tutto rego?” = ciao ragazzi tutto bene (rego = regolare)? = Hi guys is all fine?) Fra’ / Frate’ / Fratello = Bro’ / Brother Sore’ / Sorella = Sister (beware commonly “sorella” is used for nuns) Gente = people / guys

A fagiolo - (lit.:to the bean.) “to the letter.” Quattro gatti -  (lit.:four cats.) really few people. i.e. “nel pub c’erano quattro gatti” = at the pub there were only four cats Avere le batterie scariche - To have a run-down battery  Spettegolare - to gossip Botte da orbi - (lit.:barrels from blinds.) “a knock-down-drag-out.” Uccel di bosco - (lit.:bird of the woods) when you can’t find someone, that person cannot be reached/disappeared to not do something, i.e. if your mum cannot find you to help her clean the house she might say you’re “uccel di bosco” Non sapere che pesci prendere -  (lit.:to not know what fish to take.) to not know what to do. Piove sul bagnato - (lit.:it rains on the wet.) “when it rains it pours.” Cotto a puntino - (lit.:cooked to the little dot.) a meal cooked perfectly  Sei proprio cotto! = You’re so in love! / You are crazy in love! (lit.: you’re cooked for real) Innamorato perso = (lit.: lost in love) crazy in love Da cosa nasce cosa -  (lit.:from thing is born thing.) “one thing leads to another,” Pavoneggiarsi -  (lit.:to peacock oneself.) to show off

(Some more of these sayings can be found on our twitter page)

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