#big jack horner x reader

[agent-love-101]

could i perhaps request some jack horner x reader headcanons regarding their size difference? 🥴

>:) ask and you shall receive!!!

Jack Horner x Reader; Size Difference

he most definitely uses it to his advantage.

blocking your way in attempts to bother you, somehow sneaking up on you,

but i can also imagine him sizing you up by comparing you to himself.

like his hands creep onto your shoulders; it almost sends a chill down your spine. his hands practically engulf you.

he could easily overpower you, and he makes sure you know it.

however it does have its perks!

you're especially cute to him.

sometimes he'll brush his hand through your hair, straighten out your clothes, etc.

to him, you're absolutely harmless.

he most definitely sits you on his lap; why waste a seat?

[starleska]

I hope you had a lovely trip! Hopefully this doesnt seem too demanding, but do you have any jack horner headcanons you're willing to share? Romantic, perhaps even yandere/possessive? Or just general headcanons? If not thats perfectly okay!!!

d'aww thank you sweet anon, i had a great time!! although i am very sleepy now 😴 i'm not even gonna lie to you, i whiled away the train journeys by gazing out of the window and thinking up little meet-cute scenarios with Jack 😂😂

oh HELL yes!! don't you worry, that's not demanding in the slightest - i'd be happy to oblige 😉 honestly this has steered off more into backstory/total fanfic territory, but i hope you like it anyway. i’ve written this with a bit of a feminine-leading-nickname bias, but this is for all readers!! i’m nb myself 🥰 feel free to substitute certain names for others 🔥

'Big' Jack Horner x Reader romantic/yandere headcanons:

historically, Jack hasn’t had much interest in romantic dalliances. coming from an upper-class family with a great deal of wealth means he received plenty of offers even when he was young, from hopeful families wanting to marry into his lucrative business. however, Jack always found the suitors from these families dull and predictable; they knew exactly what to say and how to say it, and their compliance infuriated Jack to no end. 

as a result, throughout his teens and early twenties Jack mostly abstained from romantic connections. it was at this time that he began to increase in size: he shot up like a weed and bulked out enormously, which greatly increased interest from a variety of parties. this came alongside his succession to the head of his pie business, and the flourishing of his criminal empire. although Jack was propositioned left and right, he only engaged in the occasional date and/or lay, and considered them to be stress relief. 

as his obsession with collecting magical artefacts and increasing his power grew, Jack’s dim view of romance as nothing more than fairy tale junk - something he has come to abhor - solidifies into a type of confident nihilism. he believes that he is simply built different, and that truly powerful figures don’t concern themselves with such trivial matters. that is, of course, until he meets you. 

at first, Jack is horrified. first, he believes he has fallen ill; why is his heart beating so fast around you? why does he feel hot and sweaty and clammy all at once when you pop into his thoughts? this quickly descends into a type of paranoia: he is convinced that you must be some type of magical artisan, one who has cast a spell to drive him mad. we know Jack isn’t the patient type, so he confronts you, dragging you into his office and threatening you with the business end of the Huntsman’s Axe from the Little Red Riding Hood fairy tale.

rather than the reasonable reaction of terror and attempting to escape, you stammer and blush, almost hyperventilating at the proximity. he’s so much larger than you, and it takes everything you have not to melt into his arms. you manage to tell him that you find him impossibly charming, and just being around him makes you feel lighter. this takes a moment for Jack to process. he questions you repeatedly: “You find me attractive?” “Y-yes.” “You’d like to become an item? With me?” “Yes, sir.”

once he is certain that there is no trickery afoot, Jack is ecstatic with you. the full extent of his smarm and arrogance pour over in waves. Jack is not a man prone to embarrassment , and he makes no secret of your relationship whilst going about the daily business of running his criminal organisation and pie factory. he freely plays with your hair, rubs your shoulders and gives you kisses in full view of all his workers, much to your humiliation, but the way Jack looks at you with approval after every  teasing show of affection makes it all worth it. Jack’s staff even give you a  nickname: The Baker’s Wife. 

in no time at all, Jack becomes your fiercest protector. someone calls a rude comment to you in the street? they’re found the next day, strung up by their thumbs outside the village walls. a debt collector comes to harass you and your family? how interesting: they choke to death on a pie, overstuffed with plums. you soon find that members of The Baker’s Dozen are assigned to keep you safe: following you around his mansion and accompanying you outside without so much as a word. you try to question Jack about these events, knowing in your heart he is responsible, but the way he tells you, “No one hurts my princess,” makes your heart squeeze. indeed, day-to-day Jack treats you like royalty: only the finest garments, cuisine, and entertainment for the love of his life. 

however, in private, Jack lets his sadistic side shine. he is delighted by how easy you are to fluster: how a filthy whisper or a well-placed touch can make you tremble and squeak. he enjoys your size difference, playing with you as if you were a doll, and he chuckles darkly whenever you squirm. there’s nothing he loves more than pinning you against a wall with a blade, enacting the predator/prey dynamic he knows you enjoy so much. he leans in close and breathes into your ear, telling you how small and helpless you are, and how easy it would be to rip you apart. he relishes in making you beg to be touched, how much you crave his silver tongue and those awful, atrocity-stained hands. Jack tells you that you are his, forever, until the day you die: and that is something you love more than life itself. 

hope this is what you were looking for, anon 😉

[sh309]

Jack losing the strip game

[emissarypersonalshh]

i find it extremely funny how dreamworks created this god awful, completely unloving, irredeemable villain to present to the internet. On top of that, they made him as conventionally unattractive as possible, PLUS he was voiced by JOHN MULANEY. and they completely expected us to drag him and hate him to eternity but OH BOY OH MAN

so this is my interpretation of that

Dreamworks: so, we can all agree to hate this guy, right? i mean he's completely unfeeling as he lets his men get slaughtered in the span of twenty minutes, he's absolutely spoiled and entitled and wants to literally take over the world, he-

Us: he's definitely a babygirl

Dreamworks: a fucking what

[restlesscrybaby]

☆ JACK HORNER NSFW ALPHABET! ☆

>> Here's my take on the NSFW alphabet!!

☆☆ WARNINGS -- NSFW, humiliation, degradation, praise, branding, semi-public sex, etc.

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A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) - He isn't too. Fond of aftercare. I mean, as an irredeemable monster, how could he care for anyone else? If anything, he'll run you a bath, let you soak in the bubbles, and yadda yadda.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) - Hmm.. He admires his belly and hands! I mean, he's very confident in his size. Just in general. But, his hands? He's got some monster hands! He knows how to use them too. He likes watching you squirm as he caresses your skin with the pads of his fingers ever so gently, as you tremble against the size of his hands. On you? He loveesss your legs and hips. Something about it drives him insane. When you wear heels, how it shows off your legs, the way your legs flex with every step you take, how confident your strides are. Oh, and the way your hips sway with every step you take. And, the way you use your hips to tease him without even knowing it. Grabbing your hips with his hands, teasingly rubbing your inner thighs, he loves it all.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) - Pssh. He hates making a mess with it. But, he also loves seeing you coated in the translucent mess of cream. Especially on your face. But, he hates to make a mess. He won't attempt to get it anywhere but on you, but he'd adore to cum inside. The idea you belong to him, drives him wild. And I mean, come on! Any sort of cum on his lover is a whole claiming thing! The way you lick it off your fingers when you scoop it up on your digits. If he happens to make a mess, such as it drips onto the floor, he prefers to make you clean it up. Especially in his boots. Pressing the end of his boot on the back of your head as you lap the sickeningly sweet drip off the floor. He loves it.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) - He adores claiming. Not just any claiming.. He likes humiliating claiming. Like.. Branding. To press the symbol of himself into your lower belly, right where your uterus is. Just as a proof of claiming, he drools at the thought. Hickies drive him up a wall, and he loves when you claim him too. Where everybody can see that you belong to him and he belongs to you. Something about it makes him drool.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) - Oh, he's experienced. He has had many lovers, he's smart and confident with what he's doing. You can tell. The way his digits trace tediously against your body, how he seems to figure out right away all the good spots to hit, how he coos out to you how good you're doing, what a sweet slut you are. But he's not very experienced romantically.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) - Welll... He likes cowgirl and full Nelson. The way you whimper above him, as you attempt to pleasure him with sad whines escaping your lips. When he full Nelson's you, the way you let out whines of stuck desperation, squeaks erupting your words, his size making it easy to torment you like this. How pathetic you are beneath him. If you aren't too into Full Nelson? Doggystyle fits him just fine! Makes it easy to ball your hair up in his digits and pull, as you whine out for more against his cock!

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) - Oh he's serious. No doubt. If you crack a joke, he aggravatedly rolls his eyes and scoffs.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) - Hes well groomed. Very well-groomed. But, he has hair. Lots of it. He's trimmed well, the carpet matching the drapes. Chest hair, pubes, and a happy trail. But, its all so well-kept. It's not messy or too much.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) - Hes. Awkward with romance. He is good with the more sexual aspects, the more kinky ideals, but with romance ? Eeehhh... Hes.. not too good with it. He's awkward and fumbling over himself, but if you really wanted him too, he'd try. No matter how awkward he was.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) - Erm!! He prefers NOT to jack off as much. He tries to keep formal and not masturbate as much, but even he gives into his urges. When he does, he does it most often in his office, as he is usually NEVER home. He makes sure to lock the doors, say he's very busy and no one bother him, and he enjoys himself.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) - Humiliation and degradation! And praise. He loves embarrassing you, watching your face flush and you whine as he fingers you over his lap at his desk, the fear of someone walking in. Even better is during a meeting, fingering you while no one knows. Oh, and degrading you. Calling you names as he pounds into you, oh and praising you when you're good. Calling you a good boy/girl. It drives him mad.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do) - OF course, the bedroom. He's formal, but his office is the next best place if it's needed. Taking you on the desk, papers fluttering off, things rocking against it. Letting you ride him in his chair, the tacky stained-glass shining rays of colorful light against you two, something about fucking in the office was... Nice.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) - Hm. Just you in general! He's able to hold himself together, making sure to keep his composure strong. But your legs flex as you walk, your hips sway with every step, a small whine escaping your lips at the touch of something, your stockings, gloves, your eyelashes fluttering at him begging for anything. He adores it. But it drives him insane. And he wants to just take you wherever you guys are.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) - Ugh. Anything STRANGE STRANGE. Scat, piss, etc. He ESPECIALLY won't doing anything like sounding or anything. Weird shit. No, he won't use any weapons that could seriously hurt you. Such as baby unicorn horns.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) - He has a preference in giving, and he's GOOD at doing it. The way he slurps you up, taking in your taste with every slurp, hearing you let out mews of satisfaction as he indulges in your delicious taste. He knows the control he has over you with it especially. He loves receiving too, it boosts his ego as you slurp and whine about his cock, about the delicious taste of his pre-cum in your mouth. Gentle petting your hair as you slurp and hum against his cock.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) - Fast and rough all the way! He's sensual with the roughness however, but he's fast and rough. He has no time for slow.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) - He dislikes quickies. If they're needed, he'll do them every now and again. But, often, he likes to enjoy his time with you. Even if it's in his office. Even if it's for over an hour and people are in desperation for his attention due to issues. But he says not to bother him. And the doors locked.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) - Oh. Experimenting is so much fun! Risks are so fun too! Like fucking you against the stained-glass window, or keeping the door unlocked, not telling anybody to leave him alone. The scary possibility of being caught. He likes those risks. Or even experimenting with bondage, trying new ties or new toys.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) - Hes got a lot of stamina. Check the scene where he's fighting and not even breaking a sweat! He lasts a long time.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) - Oh, he 100% owns toys. He uses them, but not as often. He likes to take the control, he thinks toys are taking away the fun of doing it himself. But it's also fun to break you more with toys. Using whips and gags, and vibrators. He uses vibrators in your underwear, turning it on during things. Thats his favorite. He mainly uses them on you. If he uses any on himself, its for you. Mainly for him to use it against you.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) - A. LOT. He fucking LOVESSSS teasing. He fucking loves watching you squirm when he teases you. Whether it be gentle touches or licks against you, making you need him more. Or whether it be putting a hand on your inner thigh, unbuttoning his vest and undershirt to show off his chest just a little bit. To whisper in your ear, or gently trace his finger down the curve of your back. He fucking loves it. He likes seeing you need him.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) - He makes a lotttt of groans. He's quite vocal, it helps you tell if he likes it or not. He let's out soft huffs, whimpers between words as he pants them out.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) - He loves when you praise his body without even knowing it. How you caress his belly, kiss his biceps, lick along his shaft, rub his back, massage his shoulders, pat his legs, he adores when you gently touch his body. And he loves when you purposefully do it. Ego boost!

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) - Woah! He's got a lot of body hair! He's well trimmed tho! He's got a cock curvation going up, and he's relatively on the larger cock size due to his insane body size and height!

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) - Very high. NO further question. He's stressed often, so sex is a good relief! He's very... horny. Being so mad and stressed gives his sex drive a huge boost.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) - He falls asleep rather fast. Depending on the day. He snores loudly, letting you know he fell asleep just a bit after. But usually, you fall asleep first, and he finishes some stuff before heading right to bed.

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SURRY SOME THINGS ARE RUSHEEDDD ENJOYYY ILL REDO THIS EITH ANOTHER ONEEE!!

[bisexualdumbassvampires]

I saw you asking for prompts so I have decided to give you one

Jack cuddling the reader and the reader pretends to be asleep to listen to jack talk💜

Absolutely I can do that! 💜

GN!Reader x Jack Horner. Cuddles!

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Soft moments were rare with you and Jack.

Jack Horner wasn’t a soft man. His ego demanded that he remain unaffected by affection and kindness, even in front of you.

Which was why these tender moments, in the quiet sanctuary of his office, were so important to you. He’d had you sit on his lap while he worked and you’d cuddled into his chest, listening to him ramble passionately about pie sales and monthly income.

After a while your eyes slipped closed, and you noticed that Jack had gone silent. You didn’t open your eyes, you didn’t want to get up. His soft round belly was so warm and comfy, the rise and fall of his chest so soothing. After a few moments of hesitation, you felt Jack’s massive hand touch the small of your back.

You felt his gaze looking down at you, and he asked if you were asleep. You only nuzzled your cheek into his chest slightly and he signed contentedly, relaxing into his chair. He cradled you against him and after a bit he started to speak again. He spoke about how pretty you were, how happy you made him feel, things he would never say while he knew you could hear. You tried hard to hide your besotted smile, and keep your breathing steady.

Eventually you didn’t have to try anymore, and you really fell asleep, cradled safe and warm in Jack’s arms.

[cannedbabs]

Bite the Hand that Feeds Ch. 4 scene plan (maybe not the exact dialogue still fleshing it)

Sorry my heights are everywhere and atrocious ignore all the inconsistencies. Also look at me centering on a family photo instead of showing the entire rest of the house 😅

[gui-mauves]

I AM VERY SORRY TO ALL MY FOLLOWERS

(EXCEPT FOR YOU🫵 JACK HORNER ENJOYERS)

Here's a fucking meal for you bitches

.

.

.

[pancakes-haru]

I'M FREAKING OUT I'M SO HAPPY I COULD EXPLODE RIGHT NOW!!!

[agent-love-101]

mayhaps some jack horner headcanons about cuddling or other kinds of soft loving touches? 🥺

oh so cute!!! 🥺 lets see what i can do!!

Jack Horner x Reader; Physical Affection

i think he likes to be big spoon (this works especially well with my headcanon that he sometimes cuddles a decorative pillow to get himself to sleep faster)

however there will come moments where he doesn't mind if you cuddle his side as he lays on his back, or you both cuddle each other, facing each other.

if you're neurodivergent and/or just enjoy pressure on you, i can imagine he will just. lay his arm across your torso. its not UNBEARABLY heavy, just that perfect amount of pressure... <3

i think he like to caress you with his thumbs. your face, your hands, etc.

(this headcanon is from @madamerebloger !!) he over exaggerates the "mwah!" when he kisses you. i think that headcanon is so cute i had to add it here!!

i think he kisses in more uncommon places. like your shoulders, your collarbone, your wrists, and your knuckles.

he'll hold your face easily with one hand whereas you have to hold his with two. its so soft but i always imagine it being kind of cold? i think thats just because of how Rosey his cheeks are, so i'm fine if you think its warm too, i'm not picky when it comes to that stuff <3

he likes when you hug his side, under neath his long coat. makes you two feel closer.

if he has had an AWFUL day, he may either want to sit you in his lap and hug you firmly (a good kind of firmness!!)...

or lay his head in your lap as you caress his face, and pet his hair, listening to him rant (warning he will spring up in anger every now and then if he's telling a story.)

[starleska]

Ayo, you don’t so happen to have any Jack Horner kissing headcannons do you😳??? If you aren’t comfortable writing that sort of thing though please excuse this.

ohhh now this is one i've been looking forward to answering 😳😳 i hope this is what you’re looking for! :3c

'Big' Jack Horner x Reader Kissing Headcanons:

Jack is a hungry kisser. those lips may be plush and delicate, but the moment they're on you he is going to do his best to devour you whole. it's just in Jack's nature to take what he wants, and that means he has no problems with capturing you in a forceful kiss. he’s a lot of teeth and tongue, and enjoys making you squeal against his lips as he grips your hips and pulls you into a kiss so rife with pressure, your mouth tingles when you finally break apart. 

Jack is experienced. it’s no surprise that Jack knows his way around a pair of lips - he’s kissed far more people than we can count. he’s kissed for pleasure, for bartering and for experimentation, and there seems to be no end to the long line of people who’d like the chance to canoodle with the big boy. when you kiss him for the first time, you may be taken aback by how easily he takes charge - but don’t worry. it’ll be a very pleasurable experience 😉

Jack is flustered by soft kisses. on the opposite side, Jack doesn’t know what to do when you give him a gentle kiss on the cheek, or plant a dainty smooch on his mouth. it’s all too easy to make those ruddy cheeks fiery with embarrassment - tender touches are not something he’s used to, and not something he’d ever admit to wanting.

[sh309]

Calling all Jack horner worshippers for this one

[emissarypersonalshh]

WE NEED TO DISCUSS HOW SUBMISSIVE BIG JACK HORNER IS

you'll all call me crazy but LISTEN.

first of all HIS POSES. he just JUMPS like a submissive little man cmon now. AND dont forget the picture of him crossing his legs like a little girl PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE HES CANONICALLY A FLEXIBLE MAN + HIS LEGS his legs are 90% slimmer than the rest of his body you do the math

and hes so SASSY he's not blatantly mean (sometimes) he just has this very fiery sass that very suspiciously resembles a bratty sub hmm 🤨

ALSO HIS FACE DID YOU NOT NOTICE HOW FAST HIS FACE GETS RED. i know DAMN WELL he gets easily flustered 😝 he definitely acts all high and mighty until you start flirting with him + subtly touching him (he notices and thinks you don't, keep teasing him he secretly likes it 😉)

his voice. i think its just that john mulaney sounds inherently submissive and whiny but COME ONN JUST LISTEN TO HIM HE OBVIOUSLY WHIMPERS AND WHINES.

and he calls himself a good boy. connect the dots

i think im gonna stop there before i get graphic

[restlesscrybaby]

What do you think about Jack Horner private life? Like having a wife and kids for example.

☆ JACK HORNER HEADCANONS. ☆

♡ PRIVATE LIFE. ♡

《 ⚠️ CONTENT WARNING ! ⚠️ 》 - None.

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Well, let's dive into this!

He's a very mysterious man, lots about him are unknown, he keeps his private life. Very private.

( in my personal opinion ) He dislikes kids. He made sure in his past experiences to never get someone pregnant. Through his past lovers and flings, he was 100% safe.

He couldn't imagine having kids of his own.

He never truly was in a relationship with someone, no girlfriend or boyfriend. No wife or husband. He's awkward with love, stumbling over himself when it comes to romance.

And his harsh and mean attitude seems to push people away, but he doesn't need people!

He doesn't have much to share of his private life,

He has some good friends, commonly business partners. He enjoys going out to eat with them every now and again, but it is.. commonly about business.

Oh, I mean. With you, the reader?

When dating you, he's very careful what he shares to people about you.

He wishes to show you off,

But the wrong people would try to get back at him with you.

And he won't let you get hurt.

But he does have some things he does nobody else knows of.

He adores widower robes, commonly wearing them around the house on days off or when he can relax. He also loves bubble baths.

On days off, he likes to indulge in bubble baths. Very hot baths, let alone. Like. Might as well cook him. He has a glass of wine with him, and he does face masks while in these baths.

Self care days are important in his life.

How do you think he looks so good?

He's not too open with his sexuality, but he has had some men lovers in the past.

He did have a girlfriend in the past,

Didn't work so well.

He doesn't like to talk about it,

Same for the ex-boyfriend.

Both ended on terrible notes.

Nothing he flinches about! He's too good for them anyway!

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SURRY IF THIS ISNT WHAT YOU EXPECTED!!

I'm not too sure how wide we are considering 'private life'!!

I'll redo this soon ^^!!

[reinapantera]

A moment of pleasure 🙏🏾

Just need a glance of skin...

Just to provoke a gentle kiss...

Your stare can be a bit intimidating 😳 Isabelle...

[cannedbabs]

what would it take for jack to genuinely be romantically interested in someone/what is he like in said relationship?

Really getting me out of my comfort zone with this one!! Jack strikes me as very anti.. romance. No lovey dovey!! But if I were to write romantic Jack.. 👀

•It would definitely be a LONG process. It would take so excruciatingly long that it would be more beneficial to just give up. Though, if you didn’t? He’s sort of a tough cookie and a dismissive lovey. He’ll always make it seem like he doesn’t want to do soft gestures (“Augh, since you’re insisting!” When You didn’t say anything) but he’ll do it anyways.

•Its small gestures with him. No fancy kisses up your arm sort of deal, but its always walking behind you instead of overcompensating and leading the way like the macho man he is. He keeps a hand on the small of your back, even in public, and holds open doors for you and allows you in first.

•One other major/minor thing is that he leans down when talking to you or listening. He towers over everyone, and always makes himself as big as can be, but he takes that small moment to make himself “little” again.

•Not to mention, he shares! He considers you often, and even if that is only a few times daily. He takes a bite of a pastry, and gives You the rest. That, or he cuts a piece of a pie and gives you the first slice.

•He takes time to fix your ties, bows, straightens your jackets, smooths out wrinkles in your shirts, fixes your buttons… Its ALL small acts. He even puts up your hair if you ask!

•As a major thing, he will protect you. This man can take a grenade and be fine, so much like the bears at goldi, he will bear hug you and tuck you against his chest as his back got the onslaught of whatever-the-fuck-fits-this-scenario

EDIT: I had smth At the end here but it deleted RAHH! BASICALLY IT WAS JUST SUPER CHALLENGING!! Putting soft romantic ideas into him is very difficult </3 but it pays off and is actually rly cute to think about 🥺