#big lungful of air later i will not be cruel to a naive and inexperienced younger me but god i wish i was better

[kartana]

I feel so sad this sucks i can't stop thinking about doing everything wrong with v I feel like im gonna cry I hate going to sleep early the day after I stay up it's just hours of laying down with stupid train of thoughts that come at night and I can't sleep I just want to sleep I don't want to feel so awful in the morning I don't want to feel awful right now I wish I could just get my thoughts in order get to the point and cry and be done with it. Nothing is going to change from yesterday to today to tomorrow I will just have been miserable and things won't change because of it I wish the world was kinder I wish the world wasn't so cruel I wish things were different I want to cry and now I can't even feel that anymore.

[flowerapplejacks]

Bismuth: Tackling Misconceptions and Addressing Some of the Discourse

.1. Bismuth did not want to shatter all Homeworld gems or the common gem under Homeworld’s thumb.

If you pay attention to her dialogue, it’s pretty clear who she considers to be the main villains:

“I knew those Homeworld elites were twisted.”

“Homeworld used us Bismuths to erect spires and temples for the gem elites to enjoy.”

“Homeworld treats us like dirt because we don’t shine like the elite.”

“But the Crystal Gems are back! And we’ll give those Diamonds another taste of what’s coming!”

“Listen up you Homeworld upper crusts! We! Are! The Crystal! Gems!”

The last two examples not only further supplement this point, but also lays out in clear terms what her real goal was and what she was trying to achieve with her actions:

“We’d be shattering them for the sake of our cause! To protect our allies, our friends, to free all gems from Homeworld’s tyranny!”

“I would’ve taken the war to Homeworld and shattered the Diamonds!” 

“I would’ve liberated everyone!”

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s move on to part 2:

2 a. From Steven’s perspective, he has pretty good reasons not to be okay with shattering.

For one, he’s seen absolute nightmare fuel with things 

like this:

This:

That made Garnet act like this:

And almost do this:

And go on a tirade with her components like this:

And let’s not forget how Steven just got finished witnessing and reasoning with this:

He even got to vicariously experience all the pain and terror of this abomination with his emphatic powers. He got to interact with this thing personally.

Now unfortunately, Steven never got to share this with Bismuth but there’s a reason why Steven truly believes: “Nobody deserves this.” 

Shattering is a fate worse than death; the gems retain a partial consciousness but they’re lost and confused and can never regain their old selves. Bubbling is the less cruel and inhumane option. 

2 b. Steven is still an inexperienced and (previously) sheltered child who hasn’t gone through a war or made any tough or heavy decisions that come with a situation like that. 

Steven’s not thinking on a practical level. He’s thinking on an emotional level. 

The Breaking Point is scary to Steven. It doesn’t feel right. 

It’s not what a “Crystal Gem would do”. 

Homeworld shatters gems and they’re the bad guys, so wouldn’t The Crystal Gems be the bad guys if they tried something similar? 

Finally: It’s “not right”. 

Steven’s morality is black and white at this point because THAT’S how a child sees the world at first. 

3. Steven’s reasoning may be naive but Bismuth’s solution is equally short-sighted. Here’s why:

Guys, this is Zaheer from Legend of Korra. On the surface, he was very much like Bismuth in his ideology. 

And he actually went on to kill the Queen by bending the air out of her lungs. This is exactly what Bismuth wanted to do: liberate everyone by eliminating the dictators ruling over them.

But what happened afterwards? 

That’s right. A new tyrant showed up to take her place and continue the cycle of oppression. 

This is the dilemma known as The Power Vacuum. 

And of course we learn later on that when Rose “shattered” Pink Diamond, that Homeworld’s response was to do this:

4. Steven was always meant to be the bridge between gemkind and humanity, therefore the series will likely go like this:

Reformation, compromise, a ceasefire, and a diplomatic peace treaty.

Now of course this won’t be easy, and the Crewniverse will have to decide how they solve this big conflict, especially when it comes to the rest of the Diamonds exploits, like the parasitic nature of their conquests and other war crimes, but we can’t judge that until it actually happens so, hold on tight.