#biggest flaw is that he can’t seem to get a hang of how technology works but I’ll give him a pass on that

[nope-body]

.

[kiatheinsomniac]

2 and 1, for like whoever you want because I trust your taste, because your amazing

• I have you shoved against the wall but now I can’t stop looking at your mouth • We were dancing but all of a sudden it’s a slow song and we’re standing here awkwardly staring at each other

Undercover Escape

(Y/n) and Ezio were both undercover on a mission. An orchestra was playing on a short stage in the far corner and courtly dances were going on, high-glass guests mingling and gossiping over fine food, sparkling champagne and aged wines. 

(Y/n) wore a billowing red dress with rounded sleeves over her shoulders. The bodice was short - and rather dramatic regarding her cleavage - starting just above her waist while the skirt flowed outwards. It was decorated with golden flowers and a tall, layered necklace with roses of rubies to adorn her neck, earring to match as well. Her (h/c) hair - as a courtesy of the ladies at the Rosa en Fiore - was styled like a crown: parted down the middle and woven into braids that tucked into themselves at the back of her head. 

Meanwhile, Ezio wore a white undershirt with a deep red shirt whose sleeves were loose around the upper arm but fitted around the forearm. Upon this, he wore a white button-down tunic with red detailing along the hems and a pair of dark grey trousers with a pair of leather boots. 

"Found out anything yet?" Ezio asked her quietly as he approached, noticing the bitter look on her face. 

"You mean other than the fact that I despise every man in this room other than yourself? No." She spoke through gritted teeth and a sip of wine. 

"This could go on all night if we don't find the information we need." He sighed worriedly, glancing around. The biggest challenge of this mission was not knowing who the Templars in the room were; it was also the biggest danger. They had planned to mingle with as many people as possible to try and learn something, anything, but that plan was thus far unsuccessful. 

"I say we go and chat to the newlyweds here." (Y/n) suggested, "Feign the act of a couple until I can lure the wife away for a ladies' chat while you see if you can get anything from the husband." 

"And how will we know who the newlyweds are here?" He raised a brow, pointing out a flaw in her plan. 

"Simple: she'll look happy because, believe me, if she's been married to any man in this room long enough, she would have forgotten such an emotion," (Y/n) replied as she nestled her hand in Ezio's arm and led him over to the first pair fitting their description. 

All went well for a moment before a certain set of words made her blood boil all over again. 

"I don't suppose I could steal a dance with your beautiful fiancée, signore?" The fair-haired man, whom they had been conversing with for a good several minutes now, questioned. 

"Not at all," Ezio replied with a smile, stepping aside as he allowed the other man to whisk her over to the dance floor. As she stood opposite the fair-haired man, pulled close enough to his body so that they could not see each other faces, she shot him a look that would shake hell itself. 

'I'm sorry' He mouthed. Though, despite her anger, she knew that they both had to do what was necessary to acquire the needed information. As she danced with the man, she could feel his gaze stuck to her chest, making her wish to uppercut him in front of each and every guest in that room. But she resisted. 

She glanced over to his hand and noticed something which had not previously been revealed before. On the underside of his ring was a Templar cross! She suddenly became conscious that he may have noticed the burn on her ring finger which marked her as an assassin. 

"Those are such lovely rings." She put on a sweet tone, knowing she would have to charm her way into this and fake stupidity to get past his guard, "I wish my fiancé would buy me more. The engagement ring was awful, such a small stone. I can only hope that the wedding ring and those he will gift me in the future are finer." 

"I was wondering why you weren't wearing one. You sound rather hard to please." 

"Oh, I can be. . . But you seem like a man who knows women well." She cooed, skipping around a hidden innuendo. Her eyes flickered over to the rings. 

"I particularly like the ruby one with the engravement on it. It's wonderful when one wears the Lord's cross in all they can." She knew exactly what she was doing and he was falling for each and every sickly word. 

"It is not the Lord's cross, my dear. It's much more. . . secretive." He shot her a wink and she could imagine the taste of bile in her throat. 

"Oh, a mysterious man is always an attractive one. Do tell?" She spoke as they parted and spun, joining back together in time to the music. 

"I'm afraid it's political, I cannot share."

"I am a woman, what do I know of politics? Please, tell." She coaxed and he gave it a moment of thought before judging her false persona to be too uneducated to share the precious information he was to share. 

"We fight for order, for peace among humanity. We have technology from people long ago which we seek to attain this. We currently are narrowing down on the location of one as we speak." 

"Where?" She spoke, expression dull with feigned incomprehension. 

"Beneath the Vatican." He replied as they bowed to finish the dance. 

"It's been a pleasure, signore." She nodded her head before turning her eyes to Ezio, a small but sly smile on her face, letting him know that she got what they needed and they could leave. 

But, just as she took a step to leave, the man was pulling her into another dance. She sent a look for help towards Ezio who nodded his head once in understanding and offered the Templar's wife to dance with him. 

During each jump, twirl and spin, there was a chance to switch partners and (Y/n) practically threw herself into Ezio's arms at the first opportunity to get that man's hands off her waist. 

"We'll finish this dance then head back so we don't look suspicious." He spoke in a hushed tone, lips against her ear before dipping her and bringing her back up, the pace of the dance slowing with the music. 

"The sooner we get back, the better," (Y/n) huffed, "Wearing this dress was ok when I was putting it on in my own room but now that I'm in a room full of people, I feel like an exhibit." 

Ezio could understand her self-consciousness. He had trained alongside her for years now and knew how used she was to living her life out of the public eye, blending in with crowds and lurking in shadows. 

"You do look beautiful though." He complimented in a softer tone as she stepped closer to him while the dance became a much slower one. 

"Not you, too." She rolled her eyes but he saw the way her cheeks became dusted with a soft red. 

"No, truly," He continued as their hands became intertwined, "It compliments you, the bright red against pale skin. Though, the rubies don't quite sparkle enough." He hummed in dissatisfaction. 

"No?" She asked, momentarily feeling insecure, unsure as to why when it came from him. 

"No. Your eyes are much brighter, they easily outshine them." He smiled gently as she hid her face against his shoulder to hide a laugh, knowing he was smiling at the blush on her cheeks. But, they had to pull apart, revealing her flustered smile and his look of pride when they bowed to finish the dance. Though, she saw that the Templar was approaching from across the dance floor. 

Eyes widening in a panic - not wanting to spend another second with the man - she grabbed Ezio's hand and tugged him out of the room. 

"God awful man, I hope we have to kill that one eventually." She grumbled as they slowed their pace once far away enough, hand coming to rest in the crook of Ezio's arm as they made their way through the corridors of the grand house where the party was being hosted. Though, her sense of relief didn't last very long when she heard footsteps behind them, casting her gaze over her shoulder to spot the fair-haired man once more. 

"Santo Dio. . ." Ezio spoke in a disgruntled tone when he followed her line of view, "Just go along with this and he'll get the message." She shot him a questioning look until his hands were on her waist and she was being pulled around the corner, his arms caging her against the wall and face hanging low over hers. 

She watched his eyes flicker down to her lips once, twice, thrice, seeing how he unconsciously wet his before the Templar rounded the corner, not knowing what he had walked in on. The man abandoned his thoughts of adultery and fled to seek out his wife once again. 

"I told you it would work." Ezio smiled, eyes unable to resist another glance down at her lips. 

"W-we should go back to the hideout now," (Y/n) whispered, unable to help but do the same, peeking down at his scarred lips and knowing that they were dangerously close to crossing a line that would either make their friendship become something so much more or a ruin of what it once was. 

Despite her words, she made no move to leave, only raising her hands to slowly run through his hair, to cup his cheek and caress his skin. Her breathing had quickened and the tensions just became heavier and heavier and heavier until it was too much, suffocating. 

So, he pulled her body close and kissed her tenderly, vapourising the thick tension until it had melted away with the heat of their kiss. As soon as he pulled away, she was chasing her lips, wanting to moment to last as long as it could before it died and uncertainty took its place, hands cupping his face and reaching up onto her toes. She ended it for air, gazing softly into his eyes. 

"Let's go home." He whispered softly as he coiled an arm around her waist and led her out, holding her body close. 

[jihooonsdimples]

letters • jun

☾ pairing: jun x fem!reader

☾ word count: 2.4k

☾ genre: angst, part 1/2

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I miss you.

Jun drops his pen onto the table and runs a hand through his hair, nostalgia washing over him after writing those three simple words. The boy looks out of the window of his childhood bedroom, the only source of light coming from his desk lamp. The view from this room would always leave him breathless, no matter how many times he’s seen it or how long it’s been. The bright lights of the city at night twinkling underneath him, the sea of lights illuminating the cloudy sky and the moon peeking out from behind. His own thoughts clouded his mind and he couldn't think straight. 

He wonders what you were doing right now. It’s been so long since he has last seen you. Were you sleeping? Were you awake? After two years, he was finally in the same time zone as you.

He remembers how you liked to stay up late and watch the city from your apartment balcony. You would think about all the people who lived in your city and what their lives were like. How everyone was so different and experiencing so many things that you would never know about. How you were living this life, in your hometown, at that very moment in time. Late nights were for you to absorb everything in this world and the life you were given. It would also be a time for you to relax and take a break from the life you lived every day. Sometimes, you would invite the boy over and the two of you would sit in silence, enjoying the company of a loved one. Fingers intertwined and your head on his shoulder, it felt so intimate. The world living on while you two sat in the dark of night. 

The boy sadly smiles as the memories of you flood his mind.

Jun remembers how you liked to do things the old fashion way. You liked to write letters to your friends, go to their house and hang out, and go for walks in the park. You didn't want to be a victim of the new technology that took over everyone's lives these days, opting to connect with people physically.

The two of you used to write letters to each other each week, even though you went to the same school and shared many classes together. The joy of opening up a letter from you was something he would never forget. You would even leave little mementos from that week inside the envelope. It always brought back memories of the two of you and everything you’ve experienced together. 

When you would go for long walks in the park with him in the middle of the night because both of you couldn’t sleep, the cold air nipping at your skin through your pyjamas. Dancing under the street lights and running down small roads, it felt like the two of you were the only people awake. 

Or when you two would go to the roof of your apartment building and gaze at the stars all night, pouring your hearts out to each other. Talking about your past, future, and present. Your biggest insecurities and your greatest fears. Life was absolutely insane and it was so hard to understand that this was the life you were given and you should make the most out of it. You can’t remember how many times the two of you laughed over how true the statement, “yolo”, was.

His fond memories of you soon fade away and was replaced by the memory of him leaving you. Crazy how life can change so suddenly.

Jun's face falls and he places his elbows on his desk, resting his head in his hands. Emotions seem to take over his body and all he could feel was pain, the same pain he felt the day he left you.

A sigh leaves his lips as he remembers the day he last saw you.

~

"I'll be back soon, okay?" He reassured you, wiping away your tears with his thumbs. He was trying his hardest not to cry at the airport while his heart broke. It hurt him just as much as it hurt you.  

You sniffled and embraced him tightly, you didn't want him to leave. More tears came out running down your cheeks and you cried into his chest. The chest that belonged to the man you called home. The home that was leaving you and you didn’t know when it would be coming back. You didn’t know what you would do without it. How would you survive without your love?

"Shhhhh, Y/N, it’s not forever. We can still write to each other every week! I'll check the mailbox all the time!" He tried his best to sound happy, but you could hear the sadness in his voice. You knew the boy inside and out, he was like your other half. A few days before, the two of you talked about how you would keep in contact. Also taking into consideration the time difference and your busy schedules. 

The boy did not want to leave the girl he loved so dearly. You were the one that encouraged him to go chase his dreams and leave your hometown. You were the one that kept him going and the one who made him feel so loved. The one that was by his side the entire time and loved all his flaws. You loved him.

Collecting yourself, you looked at him with teary eyes. His chocolate orbs gazed at you with so much admiration and sadness, you were going to miss him so much. A small smile makes it way onto your tear-stained face as you remember the reason that he was leaving. He was going to go chase his dreams and become the person he always wanted to be. You held out your pinky and softly said, "Promise me that we’ll text everyday and talk as often as possible."

It was so you to make light of the situation, never letting negativity ruin everything. Jun smiled and wrapped his pinky around yours, "Promise." Quick to make the promise, not doubting a thing.

The boy pulled you in for a last hug and the two of you cherished your last few moments together. You weren’t going to see each other for at least a year and the thought still haunted the both of you. But you trusted him and the promise to not lose contact. Promising to talk everyday and write letters to each other, just like how you did now. 

Your lips find his with ease and you hold each other tightly. The kiss was filled with so much love and faith for the future. Faith that the two of you would stay together and not lose the love.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

~

Tears slip out of Jun's eyes as the memory slowly fades away. He quickly wipes them away, he’s cried so much about this already. His heart still ached and it pained him so much to think about what had happened two years ago.

He was so stupid. He thought that the two of you would stay the same, nothing would change and your relationship would only grow stronger. But the boy wasn’t thinking, he let his dreams ruin everything around him. The worst part was that he didn’t even see it in the moment, he only realised what had happened after. The time he lost all motivation and direction in life, that’s when he realised.

Taking a deep breath and collecting his thoughts, he picks up the pen that laid on the wooden desk. He was ready to continue writing his long overdue letter to you. Finally able to accept his faults and what went wrong. 

Y/N, how have you been doing? It's been a while hasn't it? How's everyone doing? I’m finally back home, I’ve missed everything here. Especially you. 

I'm sorry for not writing back to you. I got so caught up in my work and my ego, I didn’t make time to write a letter back to you. I would always read your letters and brush them aside, making up excuses on how I didn’t have the time to write back. Our texts got shorter and shorter, we even stopped calling each other in general. I don’t know when my values changed, but it was my biggest mistake. I thought that you would stay the same while I would follow my dreams. I thought that we would still love each other. I was so stupid.

Then one day, I opened what I didn’t know would be the last letter you would ever send to me. My heart dropped when I read the first sentence, how you said you wanted to break up with me. That letter was the shortest one you’ve ever sent to me and suddenly, I suddenly saw everything I was missing. I understood everything you were trying to say and how you felt. How you didn’t want this relationship to tie us both down and that it was time to move onto other people. To continue growing and following our dreams. 

I’m so sorry for not writing back to you and for not maintaining our relationship. I’m sorry for letting my ego get in the way and for being so selfish. I’m sorry for putting you in so much pain. Why did I ever think that your feelings for me would never change. I was the one responsible for our broken relationship, all because of something so dumb.

How are you now? Are you still writing letters to your friends? I hope you are. That was one of the many things I loved about you. I could make a whole list of all the things that I loved about you, it would never end. The way your face would light up when you would catch a shooting star as we star gazed on the roof of your apartment building. Are you still living there? It was really nice and you really made it feel like home. I loved when you would cry during movies because of your soft heart. Remember all our movie nights? I loved those so much. With you snuggled up by my side while we had a marathon of our favourite disney movies. I especially loved when you would kiss me with the biggest smile on your face. I could feel the happiness through your lips and I was so in love. I miss everything about you. I miss us.

Did you finish university? I hope you got your dream job, you worked so hard to get there. I hope you finally got your cat and are having lots of fun. Did you find someone else who loved you like I did? I hope they are a good significant other and are making you happy. I hope they are better than me, you deserve it. You deserve the world and so much more. 

I hope I was a good boyfriend. I hope you won’t think of our relationship as a waste of time. I hope I made lots of good memories for you, I know you definitely did for me. You changed me for the better and let me chase my dreams, even if that meant I had to leave you.

I'm sorry I broke our promise. 

I love you and I will always,  Wen Junhui

Gently putting the pen down, he exhales deeply. Two years worth of feelings all in one letter, all his realisations in one place. The boy silently folds up the paper and slips it into an envelope.

Writing down your address that he would never forget, he places a stamp and seals the envelope. It felt weird to be doing something he hasn’t done in so long, he used to write letters every week. He picks up the letter and shuts off his desk lamp, getting up and walking towards his bedroom door.

The boy opens the door and is greeted by the silence and darkness of his childhood house. Having grown up here, the boy didn't need to turn on the lights to see where he was heading. The house was engraved into his head and he knew it like the back of his hand.

He walks down the creaking stairs and slips on a jacket over his pyjamas. He quietly opens the front door and steps out onto the street in his slippers, the cold night greeting him like an old friend. He heads towards the mailbox at the end of the street with the help of the street lights illuminating the way.

Jun holds the envelope with both hands and stares at it as he stops in front of the mailbox. This envelope contains the emotions he held back for two years. The feelings that he could never bring himself to tell you. The things he could never admit to himself.

He was going to mail you this letter and did not know if you would write back or not. He didn't know what kind of reaction he would receive or if he would get anything at all. He didn't even know if you still lived at your apartment.

Bringing his arms up, he places the envelope in the slot on the mailbox with shaking hands. Just as he was going to push it in with the courage he gathered, everything comes crashing down on him; all of his mistakes, insecurities and flaws. Everything he’s done wrong while he was away just seemed to suffocate him.

His hands quickly retracts with the envelope still clutched tightly in his hands. The boy just stares at the mailbox in defeat, he couldn’t bring himself to mail you the letter that explained everything. He would never know that you were still waiting for him to write back. 

A sigh leaves his lips as he pockets the letter. His eyes shift to the old payphone beside the mailbox, covered in stickers and rust. Jun needed to talk to someone right now, even if that meant calling his best friend in the middle of the night. A hand slips into his coat pocket and luckily, he finds some loose change. 

Bringing the coins out, he counts them and sees that he has enough to call for quite a while. He slides the money into the slot and just as he was about to dial Minghao’s number, a voice stops him.

“What are you doing here?”

~

[verllaine-blog]

A guide to the fandom of French politics/lolitics

I found something similar going around in the Spanish lolitics fandom (I think?) and thought it was kind of funny, and what with French politics going world-wide since the elections in May and Macron making himself heard around the globe (and before you come at me, he’s also got his flaws too, I’ll fully agree with you there), I thought it would be cool to open up the wonderful fandom of French politics (and our ships!) to our international friends. So sit tight, this is probably going to be long!

First off, who are the big names you’re likely to find the most often?

Emmanuel Macron

° Not surprising since he’s our new president.

° He’s actually pretty smol. Especially when standing next to other taller world leaders.

° He’s a lot younger than the other members of the French politics fandom. (He’s 39).

° Can’t take selfies.

° POUDRE DE PERLIMPIMPIN.

° (It’s even a song).

° He looks like a pretty cool guy but does have some shitty policies he wants to put into effect (*cough* doesn't necessarily plan to stop nuclear energy jobs even though they are polluting *cough*).

° Literally seems to think that he’s some kind of king/God.

° Loves Europe & the European Union (like, Emmanuel Macron x the EU is as canon as Emmanuel x Brigitte).

° Likes cordons bleus (and I get him, cordons bleus are amazing), chocolates and eating off the kid’s menu and is essentially a child in an adult’s body.

° Apparently even the official cook at the Elysée palace makes him little cordons bleus. (And he loves them).

° Is probably going to be annoying in the upcoming five years but we currently kind of like him. Or at the very least, he hasn’t fucked up too bad yet. (But please don’t cozy up to Trump too much).

° Is far better at speaking English than most French politicians (and possibly even the current US president) and uses expressions that are probably twice his age and that nobody uses anymore.

Manuel Valls

° He’s from Spain Catalonia but he’s French.

° Our former Prime Minister. Apparently he tried to join Macron’s party after the elections?

° The scapegoat who gets blamed for everything, even stuff he isn't fully responsible for.

° Had flour thrown on him that one time.

° Often angry, but he does smile sometimes. (They’re actually rays of sunshine)

° Really did try to save the Parti Socialiste but didn’t manage and ended up quitting it. Is more of a center-left candidate??

° Dealt with a wide variety of shit ranging from terrorist attacks to being slapped across the face.

° The VEINY HANDS ™.

° King of the style game and sometimes wears see-through shirts. (cf La Rochelle, 2015).

° Was kind of friends with Macron (he was the one who convinced Hollande to hire him before they started to work together).

° People are beginning to realize that their hatred towards him was misdirected, which is nice. Hell, some are even beginning to appreciate him, which is even better.

° Gave that one really amazing speech at the Assemblée Nationale on January 13 2015 and got a standing ovation for it.

° Probably chilling off somewhere now? Or is he still trying to join En Marche?

° Has a cute Cairn Terrier called Homère. He even used to bring him to his meetings at the Elysée palace.

Benoît Hamon

° Former member of the Socialist party. He tried hard to save it, he really did.

° Is basically a Hobbit.

° Has lots of cute pairs of glasses.

° Good with kids.

° REGION BRETAGNE EN FORCE!

° His real name is Baenoît Hamon.

° Even shared a picture of his kebab once and it was way more popular than President Macron’s official portrait.

° Deserved so much better.

° Is an actual cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure.

Arnaud Montebourg

° Toll ™.

° Often seen hanging out with Hamon.

° A rebel, he resigned from his post as economy minister from Hollande’s government.

° Is a drama queen.

° Loves everything with the label “Made in France”.

° Has fluffy looking hair.

Phillipe Poutou

° Far-left anticapitalist.

° He literally has no chill and will destroy you if you give him the opportunity.

° Popular among the young voters (I think???).

° Can also be really cute and adorable when he doesn’t vent about the evils of capitalism.

° Too cool to wear an actual suit.

Jean-François Copé

° Sometimes wonder whether he’s an actual politician or not.

° Is sometimes problematic ™

° Says chocolatine instead of pain au chocolat (which is downright wrong >:(( ) (Question à part: ça se dit où "chocolatine" exactement?? Ca va bientôt faire quinze ans que j'habite en France et je suis jamais tombée dessus?? Ca a toujours été "pain au chocolat" chez moi???)

° Never really scores any higher than 0.5%.

° Always enthusiastic and up for a good laugh.

° Memes.

° One of the rare right-wing politicians to actually be part of the fandom since everybody else ranges from the center (Macron & maybe even Valls) to the far-left (Poutou & Mélenchon).

Jean Lassalle

° He’s not really a big name, kind of a centrist?

° Has a heavy accent and loves his region very much.

° Lives a down-to-earth-appreciate-everything kind of life.

° Is probably one of the only politicians to actually be a really adorable person in real life.

° Appreciated by both his fellow politician colleagues and the general public. (Which is a real feat here).

Christiane Taubira

° The Queen ™

° She's from French Guyana.

° Everybody loves her.

° She’s amazing, that’s all you need to know.

° She won’t let you mess with her: she might be smoll but she’s always ready to brawl (and clash you in the Assemblée Nationale).

° Has the law legalizing gay marriage named after her, like how cool is that???

Jean-Luc Mélenchon

° He's on the far-left.

° He's the hologram guy, loves modern technology.

° Has developed a legit game called "Fiscal Kombat", where the Mélenchon character fights other French politicians to make them give back money, counter frauds and earn as much cash as possible to implement his program.

° He's actually from Morocco.

° Is either angry or will take a great satisfaction in publicly clashing you.

° He has no chill and will call you out to your face.

° Always up for a fight and lives off drama.

° Is a sore looser tho.

Our international players:

Justin Trudeau

° The French speaking cousin ™ (with a slight accent)

° He’s not French but he’s basically considered as part of the fandom.

° Like Macron would say, he’s “part of the club” (yes, he really did use that expression).

° He got on well enough with the previous government,and currently has a thriving bromance with Macron.

° They probably diss Trump together in French.

° We’re all looking forward to anything more they can give us.

° Can also be spotted on photos with François Hollande and Manuel Valls.

Theresa May

°  The annoying friend from across the Channel.

° Brexit with Benefits ™

° Likes football.

° Speaks English only.

° Probably a source of conflict over Europe and the EU.

° Still the English member of our Franco-British (or soon to be English-only?) bromance.

° Hopefully introduced Manu to the wonders that are Fish & Chips.

Barack Obama

° He may no longer be president but we still love him.

° Had a soft spot for Hollande’s poor English.

Angela Merkel

° Proud member of the pro-EU squad.

° Holds the flag for the Franco-German bromance.

° Was bros with Sarkozy and seems to like Macron a lot.

° Also an avid football supporter.

As for our ships, well here’s what we’ve got to offer :))

The French only ships

Vallande: François Hollande and Manuel Valls

° I don’t know, it’s the first of the political ships I really heard of.

° Apparently it was a thing??

° Basically the president and his Prime Minister.

° There is legit real fanart out there if you look hard.

° They seemed to be happy when they were together sometimes, so I guess there’s that??

° Unfortunately they then broke up when Valls left Hollande’s government to run for the left wing primaries. I guess not every pairing can have a happy ending :(

° **Edit: I just happen to have found an entire blog dedicated to the ship (Vallande is real les amis), and it's the most unlikely thing ever but also fucking hilarious! (Je ne sais pas qui est derrière ce Tumblr, mais... Merci, pour le coup, ça m'a bien fait rire ^^).

° **Edit 2: Guys, just... Check the “Vallande“ tag, I promise it’s worth it. ^^

M&M’s/Vacron: Manuel Valls and Emmanuel Macron

° Probably the most popular/biggest ship in the fandom for now.

° They have a complicated ™ relationship.

° They used to be kind of friends??? But Macron essentially stabbed Valls in the back by using Valls’ declining popularity and problems to push himself forward. ° I’m not even sure where they stand at now. Probably former colleagues?

° Although Valls did immediately back Macron after losing the socialist primary final to Hamon (whether that is to be taken as a sense of affection/friendship/something else towards Macron, I’ll let you decide for yourself).

° We still ship them though.

° All the more so because there are lots of pics (and non-photoshopped ones I might add) that are out there.

° (Perhaps they even ship themselves, who knows?)

°  Oh and Vall's official nickname for Macron when they were in the same government was "Microbe", which basically means germ (if you translate it literally) or squirt.

° We also have AO3 fics and fanart. (Seriously, the M&M's fandom is amazing :)).

(Add Myriam El Khomri and you get an OT3).

(But Valls and El Khomri look more like embarrassed parents and Macron their overly-enthusiastic five year-old).

(Or you can add Najat Vallaud-Bellkacem if you’d prefer). 

Cinnhamonbourge: Benoît Hamon and Arnaud Montebourg

° The Cuties ™.

° Also quite popular in the fics and fanart territory.

° Fluff, fluff and more fluff. (And possibly the occasional angst, but it's mostly fluff).

° Team “Looks like a cinnamon roll and actually is a cinnamon roll”.

° Well Hamon is, Montebourg can get a little more angry at times.

° But they like each other, that’s the most important part.

° Both are now former members of the PS, Montebourg quit in 2014 and Hamon only a month ago.

° Used to hang out together a lot.

° Probably diss Hollande (and Macron’s) government together.

° Organize cool-looking parties.

° Like flowers.

° Probably drowning their sorrows and crying over the state of French politics together. (With a bottle of fine champagne).

(You can even add Valls if you want an OT3, not sure they’d get along tho).

(Is Macrontebourg also a thing? Just askin’) (Although we all know Arnaud and Benoît belong together).

Along with Montebourg, apparently Hamon and Taubira were also good friends :)

Marine Le Pen x Florian Philippot

° I think this is also a thing?

° They’re basically the Evil Power Couple of French politics.

° Probably want to dominate France and are secretly building a “Grand Villain Manifesto” for the 2022 elections.

° They can stay together as long as they don’t bother us.

° Apparently people also ship Le Pen and Mélenchon???

° Is it a hate-ship??

° (Je n'en sais rien vraiment, mais je suis tombée dessus une ou deux fois… Je ne sais toujours pas trop quoi en penser ^^).

Team Destroy Capitalism: Nathalie Arthaud and Philippe Poutou

° Like the ship name suggests, they hate capitalism.

° The far-left bros.

° They’re full of bitterness and full of salt.

° Arthaud is Angry ™, elle est là pour NIQUER SES MERES.

° Often angry. Just a reminder.

° Poutou has no chill and will fight you even though he’s only a factory worker for Ford, who works REALLY HARD.

° (But he’s cool). (He can also be really nice and really cute).

° Arthaud will also fight you, especially on capitalism. Arthaud x Capitalism is probably her biggest NOTP.

° Team Tiny Candidates.

The international ships

Merkozy: Angela Merkel and Nicolas Sarkozy (aka President Bling Bling ™).

° I wasn’t really following politics all that much back in 2007.

° Apparently they were like BFF’s, and are one of the early bro-ships in French politics??

° The Oldie but Goldie, I guess that’s what we could roll with?

° The Smol bros.

° I don’t know whether they are still in touch or not but let’s hope so, because Merkel’s huge smiles are literal rays of sunshine.

Don't ask me, but there was also something with Hollande.

And Valls.

And she seems to be climbing up the new BFF scale with Macron too.

Hobama: François Hollande and Barack Obama

° Obama seemed to get along well with Macron’s clumsy predecessor, maybe his poor English even grew on him after a while.

° “Ah na wol spriking in French because ay oblairge ay oblaïge to do that.”

° President Classy ™ and President Awkward ™.

° They both exited the world stage at the same time at the end of 2016, right before shit got real.

° Might be keeping in touch and maybe even mounting a scheme to take out the Crazy Orange Cheeto (okay probably not, but let’s just imagine for a second that they are really doing this?)

(Obama was also friends with Sarkozy, if you were wondering).

Macdeau: Justin Trudeau and Emmanuel Macron

(C'est bien Macdeau le "nom officiel"? Parce que j'ai vu des choses du style Macreau, Trudon et Trudō également)

° Highly anticipated bromance that came about shortly after Macron won the election.

° Basically became canon in Taormina when they met for the G7 Summit, and we got the pics of them strolling along in the flowery gardens. (Looking extremely similar to that one scene in Game of Thrones between Margaery and Sansa)

° Trudeau is Toll ™ and Macron is Smoll ™.

° Always smiling.

° New pics and Twitter posts are always welcomed and widely shared. ° They’re always happy together and as long as their bromance is thriving, so are we. 

(( But if you’d rather ship him with Valls, then there’s also canon photos you can use too :) ))

Then we've also got this but:

Does it

Really warrant

An explanation?

(There aren't any pictures, but just in case you were wondering, our friend Mister Donald the Crazy Orange Cheeto also rooted for her during the elections).

Maycron: Theresa May and Emmanuel Macron

° Also a G7 baby.

° Speak English together.

° Trying to mend bridges between the UK and France. (Because from what I’ve gathered, neither Sarkozy or Hollande were apparently great friends with David Cameron).

° Give affectionate hugs.

° Probably butt heads over topics like Europe and Brexit since May wants out of the EU and Macron is arguably one of the EU leader who loves the EU the most (like I said, Macron x EU is as canon as Emmanuel x Brigitte).

° Share a passion and enthusiasm for football. May can even be a little bit too enthusiastic sometimes ;)

° Probably also vent about the Orange Cheeto to one another.

And as a Franco-Irish member of the French lolitics fandom, I'm also really happy to be able to say that

French politicians

Seem to have an ongoing bromance

With their Irish counterparts

That doesn't seem to be going anywhere anytime soon :)

And if you really want to go deep down, here are the over-the-top-not-really-serious-recurring-pairings you can also find:

Benoît Hamon x Kebabs (It’s pure, it’s lovely, and believe it or not, it’s way more popular than you’d think more popular than Macron at any rate).

François Fillon & "Rends l'argent" (we basically want him to give back the public money he stole).

Eva Joly x The Green Glasses

° Kind of an older pairing, since it goes back to the 2012 elections (she didn't run this year).

° Joly usually wore red glasses, but to represent her Green Party (EELV), she campaigned with a pair of green ones.

° Basically what she was remembered for.

° Maybe she still wears them?

Emmanuel Macron x Cordons bleus (the truest OTP of this 2017 presidential campaign and we understand him, those things taste like heaven).

François Hollande x Being Akward (pretty much what you can resume his five-year presidency as).

Benoît Hamon x His glasses (they even have their own Twitter account apparently at LunettesBenoit).

Apparently he loves them so much he went and bought a bunch of them right before the presidential race began.

Marine Le Pen & Being a scary arsehole (basically she hates anything non 100% French, was high on drugs or something during her debate with Macron and couldn’t make coherent arguments. Blames immigrants, non French citizens and Muslims for everything wrong in the country).

She’s basically our equivalent of the horrors known as Donald Trump, Geert Wilders, Frauke Petry and Nigel Farage.

(Unsurprisingly, she's also friends with all of them).

French politicians in general x Being assaulted with food ingredients: whether it’s flour, eggs or the hand that whisks them up in the form of a slap, Valls, Macron, Le Pen, Sarkozy, Fillon and Hollande have all had it thrown at them. ^^

Après, si j'en ai oublié d'autres, n'hésitez pas à les rajouter, histoire de faire répandre nos ships et la fandom politique française à l'international! C'est ma toute première contribution, donc je n'ai probablement pas donné une liste exhaustive :))

[spottedpear]

Character Profile -

Name: Eliane Nickname: Ellie Meaning of name: Early saint and martyr in Ancient times. Origin of name: French, Roman Age: 17 Sex: Female Blood type: AB- Nationality: French/English Ethnicity: French Race: Caucasian Sexual Orientation: Asexual Current status: Alive Political Party: Centre-Left Police/Criminal/Legal record: Nothing Socioeconomic level as a child: Middle class Socioeconomic level as an adult: Middle class Birth date: 14th September Birth place: Manchester Current residence: (unknown) Occupation: Student Title/Rank: Miss Hobbies/Pastimes: Painting, coding, writing, hockey Talents/Skills/Powers: Zinc Mimicry (can turn her body into zinc) Past History Hometown: Avignon First Memory: Her Dad reading her a story Most important childhood event that still affects him/her: Older brother going missing Why/How? One day her brother Alex disappeared and her parents wouldn’t tell her what happened to him. Alex was her best friend. Other memories/events that still affects him/her and why/how: When her best friend was being bullied and she stood by and did nothing (shameful, cowardly), and when said friend moved away (sad, angry). Past failures s/he would be embarrassed to have people know about and why: Failed 11th Grade, because she wasn’t able to get enough credits. Biggest role model: Alex, older brother by 3 years Why? He looked after her as a child and could do no wrong. Biggest disillusions from childhood: Her brother going missing Backstory: Eliane and her parents live in France, and Eliane still reels over the loss of her older brother Alex. Her father was a French businessman named Louis, who met her mother Jane (English banker) at a conference. Eliane’s little sister Katy goes to boarding school in England, and Eliane stays in France with her family. Physical Characteristics Height: 5′ 7′’ Weight: 185 lb Posture: A bit slouched Build: A bit round Skin: Has quite a bit of eczema on the arms but mostly fair Hair: Dark brown bob cut, straight Widow's peak? No Ears: Not very big Eyes: Brown, upturned Nose: Fairly big Mouth: Thin lips, usually chapped Face shape: Diamond Expressions: Often looks a bit grumpy, but mostly happy Describe their smile: Toothy, eyes light up Hands: Short fingers, short nails Feet: Size 8 US Tattoos/Scars? Has a burn from when she tried to make tea as a kid Glasses/Contacts? None Left/Right handed? Right Distinguishing features: Quite pale, thin lips Who does s/he take after; mother or father? Father Style (Elegant, shabby, etc): Casual- lots of hoodies and sweatpants How does s/he dress or what do they typically wear? Above, and high tops Other outfits one might find in their wardrobe: One nice dress which is navy and white Jewelry: None Other accessories: Watch Weapons: None Health: Good Hygiene: Forgets to brush teeth, but otherwise good Physical Flaws: Big nose, feels she’s too fat Physical Qualities: Girl next door look, quite cute Characteristics Are they generally balanced or clumsy? Balanced Mannerisms/Poses/Movement: Snaps fingers when something goes right Describe their walk: Strong, good stride Describe their fighting style: Attack mostly Habits/OCDs/Obsessions: Loves hair clips Speech Patterns: Can’t pronounce some words with “d” or “n” in them Unique phrases/words: “cool beans” Do they curse, and if so, to what extent? Yes, but not a lot Write a piece of dialogue that this character might say (can be between someone else): “Listen, I know this may seem weird but I just need to help you” Voice: Slightly high pitched Describe their laugh: A bubbling giggle Describe their sleep patterns (light/heavy sleeper, no sleep, sleeps too often, etc): Insomniac, heavy sleeper Describe their dwelling/house: 3 bedroom one story house, wooden Describe their bedroom: Pile of clothing off to the side, double bed, laptop on desk next to school books Describe their daily rituals: Puts on concealer, brushes hair Psychological/Personality Attributes and Attitudes Intelligence Level: Average, but is better at doing rather than thinking Known Languages: English, French Character's long-term goals/desires in life: To play hockey professionally Character's short-term goals/desires in life: To pass 12th Grade Secret desires: To find brother How self-confident is the character? Not very How do they see him/herself? A bumbling mess How do they believe s/he is perceived by others? See above What is the character most proud of? Hockey skills, art skills What does the character like least about themselves? Face How do they express themselves? Drawings, art, writing Is this character generally dominant or submissive? Either or, mostly sub Patience level: Low-Medium Does the character seem ruled by emotion or logic or some combination thereof? Emotion Most at ease when: Doing art things Ill at ease when: Doing logic things Describe their sense of humor: Animals, silly If granted one wish, what would it be? To find Alex Why? See backstory Character/Personality/Mental/Social Strengths: Conversationalist Character/Personality/Mental/Social Flaws: Self deprecating If they could be described with one of the seven virtues, which would it be? Humility If they could be described with one of the seven sins, which would it be? Sloth Biggest Vulnerability (non physical): Brother, family Optimist or Pessimist: Optimist Introvert or extrovert: Extrovert Greatest Fear: Darkness Other Fears/Insecurities/Phobias: Electrocution Emotional/psychological/social peculiarities: A bit grumbly Biggest regret: Not passing school Other regrets: Not finding Alex, not doing more work Biggest accomplishment: Captain of school hockey team Minor accomplishments: Art Club secretary, class president 9th grade Musical talents/instruments: None Character's darkest/deepest secret: She’s asexual Minor Secrets: Still misses Alex Likes/Dislikes Likes: Art, hanging out with friends, computers, hockey Dislikes: Cold weather, hot weather, being sick, not being able to do things she likes Favorite:  Color: Green Clothing: Grey hoodie Place: Art studio Room in the house and why: Study, computer in there Food/drinks: Salad, lemonade (carbonated) Music genre: Electronic Songs and Singers/Bands: Caravan Palace Movies/TV Shows/Performances: The Great British Bakeoff, High School Musical Actors/Performers: (none in universe) Book(s): Jane Eyre Historical figure: Frida Kahlo Subject in school: Art Animal: Piglet Least Favorite:  Clothing: Leggings, tight shirts Place: Supermarket Food: Sweet and Sour Soup Music genre: Country Subject in school: Maths Simple Pleasures: Art, Coding Greater Pleasures: Outdoors, Hockey, running around Where does this character like to hang out? At home Where is this character's dream place to live? London What sorts of books are most likely to be found on their shelves? Art books, inspirational books, adult colouring books Motto/Personal quote: “If you can’t beat them, join them” Mode of transportation: Pedal bicycle Most prized possession: Hockey MVP trophy Why? Greatest success in life Emotional Characteristics Describe character's sense of morals: Dodgy at best If they could sum up the meaning of life, what would they say?: To enjoy yourself What do they consider taboo (something they personally would never do): Crime Describe character's etiquette: Proper, but also quite relaxed Describe character's sense of self-control: Quite impulsive Spontaneous or structured? A mixture Instinctual or logical? Instinct How does this character act in public? Calm, chill How does this character act in privacy? Worried, nervous How does this character act around strangers vs. how they act around friends? Nice, goofy How does this character act around family? Calm How has this character most changed from youth? More knowledgeable How have they remained the same? Still miss brother Has this character dealt with the loss of someone they knew? Yes If so, who? Brother How has it affected them? Made them a bit less trusting, more worried How does this character deal with or react to: Conflict/Danger: Bystander, or goes on the attack Rejection: Wants to be by themselves Fear: Hides, goes on defense Change: Nervously Loss: Sadly and generally crying a lot Sex/Flirting: Disgust, uncomfortable Pain: A lot of yelling Stress: A lot of crying Peer pressure: Giving in Guilt: Crying Being wrong: Arguing Being criticized: Arguing Being insulted (superficially: name calling, etc): Glaring, making a comeback Offending others: Apologising half heartedly Praise: Smiling Being loved: Hugs, affection Being hated: Glaring, throwing shade Humiliation: Hiding and crying How does this character express? Anger: Words, sometimes actions Sadness: Needing to be alone Fear: Screaming, shaking Happiness/Excitement: Happy screaming, jumping up and down Love (Consider the "Five Languages of Love"): Quality Time Lust: n/a Stress/anxiety: Crying, venting Dislike (of a person, thing, or idea): Venting Approval (of a person, thing, or idea): Agreeing, giving a thumbs up How does this character generally express themselves? Words, art What does this character think/feel about?  Marriage: Living with a best friend? Okay! Children: Adoption please. No sex. Family/Family Values: Looking after family is the most important Children/Youth: Wow what idiots Old age: No thank you! Sex: nope Love: nope  Friendship/Other relationships: Come under family Homosexuality: Cool, not my bag but cool The opposite sex: A good time to be around The same sex: Either great people or horrible people Money/Material things: Useful Politics: Social issues are important to me Religion: I was raised Catholic but I don’t know right now Destiny/Duty: Ehhh Magic/Myth: Nope Racism/Races in general: PoC Lives Matter Science/Technology: Cool beans Nature/Animals: Cool as well! Gotta look after it Modernity: Good stuff Antiquity: Good in small doses Their past: Good Their future: Hopefully good Their role in society/job/etc: Hockey player Drugs and alcohol: Alright, never tried but seem okay Killing/Murder: Nope nope nope Education: Important but ehhh The foreign/unknown: I want to find out what it is How does the character view life? Good How does the character view death? Scary How does the character view society? A bit messy How does the character imagine his/her own death? They try not to What does the character want out of life? To be living to their full potential What does this character consider "success" to be? The best What would  the character like to change in his/her life? Their insecurities What motivates this character? Success, people they care about Why? Because doing things for others is good What discourages this character? Being hurt, criticism, worrying Why? Fear is really powerful What makes this character happy? Things/people they like Why? well What makes this character sad? Losing someone/thing. Why? well What makes this character angry? Things they don’t like Why? well What humiliates this character? Critique What most describes this character's personality? Chatty artist Psychoanalysis (Describe why they act the way they do): Out of fear or hope Does it stem from childhood or an event, or chemical? Because they were raised to be a good person Relationships with Others (Non-Married) Relationship Skills: Good, can sometimes accidentally insult Loves (non sexual): Good happy time Lusts: none Crushes: none Girlfriend/Boyfriend(s): none Other lover(s): none Marital status: none  First crush: none  Did it last? none Why or why not? she’s asexual Best Friends: Clarissa (internet friend), Annie (hockey team member) Friends: Hockey team, art club, various students around school Confident/Mentor: Parents Hates: This one girl who bullied her friend back in primary Dislikes: Anyone who doesn’t like her Rivals: none reeeally Pets: none What kind of person would s/he consider to be the perfect partner? a best friend Is the character judgmental of others and how so? can judge people for being a mean person, and tends to ignore them How is s/he perceived by... Strangers? Nice girl Friends? Bubbly personality Coworker/Colleague? Cool person Lovers? n/a What happens to change this perception if at all? She doesn’t like them Describe their sense of trust Wobbly, unless she likes them a lot What type of individuals does s/he like or associate with? Athletes, artists What type of individuals doesn't s/he like or associate with? Bullies How do they treat members of the opposite sex? Nicely How do they treat members of the same sex? Nicely What do family/friends like most about character? Nice person What do family/friends like least about character? Talkative Do they know anyone who's died, and if so who and how were they affected? n/a Sex/Romantic Life What do they consider to be a romantic setting/activity/date? What did they do on their first date? How does a normal date go for this character? How would they like to propose or be proposed to? Virgin? Describe his/her sex life: How often does this character have sex? How long can he/she go without sex? How does this character feel emotionally, after sex? Does this character have self control around individuals of their sexual desire? Describe: Does sex play an important role in their relationships, if so, how? Turn-ons: Turn-offs: Fetishes/Fantasies: Sexual peculiarities: Sexual perks: Sexual flaws: Usually on the top or bottom? Dominant or Submissive? Describe their first sexual experience: At what age? Was it planned/originally intended? Was it consensual? How did they feel emotionally, afterwards? How has this affected the character, if substantially at all? Have they ever impregnated someone, or been impregnated? If so... Whom? Was it planned? Was it consensual? Was it a successful pregnancy (did it live)? Did they keep, adopt, or abort the child and why? Did he/she stay with the child/family/partner, and why or why not? Have they ever had intercourse or a sexual experience with the same sex? With whom? Was it planned/originally intended? Was it consensual? How did they feel afterwards? Possible psychological reasons for their sexual fantasies or behavior: Family (they were raised with) Immediate family members and their ages: Jane (49), Louis (52), Katy (13) Ethnicity and/or species of the mother: English Ethnicity and/or species of the father: French Birth order: Middle child Extended family: None really right now Any important/infamous/famous ancestors, and if so, who? None Describe their ancestral history, if anything of particular note:  Birthparent(s): Are they still alive? Did they raise this character? If not, why not, and/or what happened? At what age was the character when this happened? What did they do for a living? Are they still together? If not, how, when and why did they separate? How did each parent treat the character, growing up? How does each parent treat the character now? What does each parent think of the character? What changes their opinion of the character, if at all, and how so? How did the character treat each of their parents growing up? How does the character treat each of their parents now? Caretaker(s) (if someone other than birthparents): What is their relationship to the character? Are they still alive? At what age did the caretakers begin to raise this character? Did the caretakers know the birth parents and if so, how was their relationship? Did the character know the birth parents? How did the father/caretaker1 treat the character? How did the mother/caretaker2 treat the character? How did the character treat their father/caretaker1? How did the character treat their mother/caretaker2? Siblings (if any): Are they still alive, if not who died and when? Describe how each one treats this character: Describe how this character treats each one of his siblings: Does this character still keep in contact with their siblings? How has this character's relationship changed with their siblings since childhood? How did s/he get along with the family as a whole? How did s/he get along with the siblings, if any? Describe their family life/dynamic, growing up: Describe their family life/dynamic now: Favorite parent: Why? Family (that they have created, if at all) Partner(s): Is this their first marriage/family? (if not, copy, paste, and answer these questions for the previous marriages/families too): How, why and when did they divorce/split? Was it mutual? If they had children, who kept them? If it was a death, what happened, and when? Did they get remarried, and if so to whom? How did the children, if any, respond to that? Are they legitimately married? If not, are the other characters aware of this? When did they get married? How did they meet? How did he propose, or how was she proposed to? Mistress(es)/Secret Lover(s)/ Lover(s) outside of marriage: Does the spouse/partner know? If so how and when did they find out? How did they react, and what was the end result? Any illegitimate children with them, and if so who? Does anyone know? If so, how and when did they find out? How did they react and what was the end result? Children and their ages: Who are each of their parents (ie: from which marriage, if any other)? Were any conceived/born out of wedlock, if so, which ones? How does (each) son/daughter treat of this character? How does this character treat (each) son/daughter? How does (each) son/daughter think of this character? How does this character think of (each) son/daughter? How does this character's relationship change with their child/children as they grew older? Spiritual Characteristics Religion: Does the character believe in a god or goddess? What are the character's spiritual beliefs? Is religion or spirituality an important part of this character's life? If so, what role does it play? Superstitions: Chinese Zodiac: Astrological Zodiac: Element: What If If this character were an animal, what would they be? Why? If this character were the opposite sex what would they . . . Do? Say? Feel? If this character were to be characterized by an object, what would it be? Why? What would/does this character do if confronted with someone identical in personality? What would/does happen if this character became physically handicapped, and how would that change them? What would/does this character do if spontaneously placed in a whole new and unfamiliar environment/country/planet/etc? If they don't already, what would this character do/act like if they had a child? Other What song best fits this character? If you could compare this character to an existing character, who would s/he be and why? If you could choose an actor for this character, who would it be? If you could choose a voice actor for this character, who would it be? Who/what was your character inspired by? How the Character is Involved in the Story Character's role in the story (main character? hero? Villain? etc): Scene where character first appears: Relationships with other characters: Where, how and when did s/he first interact with other characters: What was this character's life like before something, if anything, happened to change it all: How Character is different at the end of the novel from when the novel began: Background Story: Additional Notes on This Character: