#biphobes i actually want you to read this and understand why youre trash <3

[barbara-gordons-glasses]

Since I’m bored, I’m going to be making a long rant about bisexuality, biphobia, inaccurate representation of bisexuality in the media, and just overall how I don’t feel accepted in my own “community”. To start off with, I’m a bisexual fifteen year-old girl who has a preference for women. I still love men, just in case any of you felt the reason to say otherwise.

Biphobia is the dislike of or prejudice against bisexual people. As you may or may not know, biphobia is everywhere, in more places than most people talk about when dealing with issues in our community and the world outside social media. What may surprise some of you is that not only are a lot of straight people biphobic, but LGBT members are as well. There are LGBT members and straight people who refuse to date bi women/men simply for the stereotypes others have pressed onto us (ex. disloyal, greedy, selfish, etc.).

While some people aren’t aware that they’re being biphobic, there are some people who are perfectly aware of what they’re saying/doing, and that’s the worst part of it. Maybe not the worst to some, but it hurts to hear one of your most loved family members say or do something hurtful and not even realize it. Or maybe they did, and just didn’t care enough to correct themselves.

Inaccurate representation of bisexuality in the media is a subject that isn’t talked about enough, because most of us are too busy about flags and who can say what slurs. Other than that, however, I’d like to talk about Glee, and the few biphobic moments that no one paid attention to. 

Kurt and Blaine were talking about when Blaine kissed Rachel the other night, and Kurt was confused when Blaine agreed to go on a date with her, claiming for him to be “leading” her on. Blaine then explains that he actually felt something when kissing her, and would like to see where it goes. Kurt waves him off when Blaine questions if he’s bi, saying “Bisexuality is a stage gay guys go through in high school to feel normal.” 

Santana Lopez and her soon-to-be girlfriend played by Demi Lovato were chatting at a restaurant about Santana’s breakup with Brittany, her bisexual ex. “I had a girlfriend - she was bi.” Santana said, and the scene I watched on YouTube cut shortly to Santana and Demi’s character as girlfriends. Demi’s character had something along the lines of, “I think you deserve a 100% Sapphic goddess,” which you may not know, but is extremely offensive towards bisexual women. Santana agreed, and then happily explained, “I finally have a girlfriend who isn’t straying for penis all the time!”

(It’s my personal opinion, but if you still like Santana and Kurt as characters after reading this, knowing they hadn’t apologized for what they said, then you’re trash. I’m not sugarcoating anything. I don’t care if Kurt or Santana were the reasons you felt comfortable being who you are. They are terrible people who only have popularity because of how awful they are to bisexuals and people from the Glee club in general.)

Other than the blatant biphobia in some shows, other media likes to cover theirs up by bringing a bi character into the show, but immediately watering down their label (ex. “I swing both ways”, “Maybe I’ll hook up with a hot guy at the party tonight! Or a girl?”). I understand that while some people don’t prefer labels, there is no reason that every bi character doesn’t like labels. Eleanor Shellstrop, for example (The Good Place). Throughout the show, she had no problem with saying bi, lesbian, pan, and gay casually. But although it’s implied that she’s bisexual, the words had never left her mouth, confirming her sexuality. There are some bisexual members of our community that don’t mind, and are simply happy for the representation, but I cannot express how long I’ve had these problems on my mind, and feel like they need to be talked about more.

If you’re looking for positive bisexual validation on websites like Tik Tok, Snapchat, or Tumblr, don’t. There are so many instances of biphobia on those websites (especially Tik Tok) that everyone ignores. Some of it is just blatant (example that I saw in a post - “I just feel like “bi” women in a heterosexual relationship shouldn’t have an opinion on our community”), while others are a little covered up by adding other common features in front of the sexuality (ex. “Oh, there go the cis white bi alt girls again!”). Because of this, I haven’t felt accepted in the community. Not since I first searched up the word ‘bisexual’ on Tik Tok and Tumblr. But the moment you search up ‘biphobia’ on either of those sites, the first videos that pop up are lesbians making posts about how “not everything is biphobic.” and then tagging the video as ‘bi’, ‘biphobic’, etc. And when they’re lesbians speaking against biphobia, the videos always have more views than actual bisexual people talking about biphobia. It’s disgusting, and the reason I hardly ever talk about bisexuality in public.

You are all free to comment or say whatever you’d like, but it will always be my opinion that there is nothing all that great about being apart of the LGBT community these days. We’re all pinned against each other, discussing who can say what slurs, complaining about flags, generalizing and stereotyping certain sexualities, and just overall showing our true colors behind the screen of a computer. There are children and teens in other countries being raped because their parents or legal guardians think it will “turn them straight”, but we’re here in America or anywhere else you live talking about meaningless things like the reasons I’d listed above. Flags, slurs, generalizations. It’s what makes me embarrassed and ashamed to be apart of such a “family” that has no real love for each other.

[synodicatalyst]

what do u think abt rose/m and vriska/m in fandom? if u search the tags u can still find active shippers (notably joh/nrose n j/ohnv/ris) w ppl denying that they can be lesbians. common arguments r like "its biphobic to say shes a lesbian bc on page 5471 line 39 she canonically flirted w a boy!! lol" while ignoring,,, that comphet is a Thing... what i find esp interesting as an actual bi person is that these ppl are seldom bi themselves; it reads more like theyre trying to justify their (1/2)

like of the pair (like dirk/f shippers saying "jOhN is a hETeroSexual but people ship [joh/ndave joh/nkat etc]!!!! str8 oppression!" or "uhhh in this pesterlog with roxy he said he ISNT GAY" while ignoring all other textual evidence that goes against it,,, or altogether cherrypicking the parts they want to hear to support their het narrative). its honestly a bit disheartening to see this like. ok in some instances things are left up for interpretation, but why would you want to say (2/3 whoops)

(for example) that rose is bi bc she "flirted w john/dave" when there are so many interactions in-canon where she was only interested in women!! and for bi rep, why would you want her instead of NUMEROUS characters shown to express attraction to multiple genders (eg dave, roxy, karkat, jade just to name a few!) like i personally find that to be more than a bit iffy, especially in 2018 and not like. 2010 when dav/ejade joh/nrose etc was popular. (3/3)

wow anon really spicing up my inbox today huh [its ok i love some spice]

uhm..hm. i think..well.. i gave up being super angry about j/hnr/se (and other rose/dude) ships a lil while ago because i mean, there is literally nothing i can do that will stop those folks. like me being like ‘yall shes obviously a lesbian’ isnt going to stop user ilovejo//hnro//se69 (thats not a real user tho afaik) from shipping their ship

i will say that its 2018 and if you havent gotten the memo yet...rose is pretty clearly a lesbian [see: jasprosesprite’s unabashed flirting with like All The Girls and zero of the boys] and i genuinely dont understand why you’d want to ship her with a dude

it is pretty disheartening and i do find it genuinely disrespectful towards both lesbians and bisexual folks (especially bi women) because using bisexuality in order to “validate” your boring m/f ship that died in 2012 is a shitty thing to do. it feels like people are commodifying bisexuality because they can’t handle that perhaps lesbians exist

with regards to vriska - i think that her situation is a bit different, because she was never explicitly stated to be a lesbian in the comic, and this new age of lesbian vriska is definitely just largely in part due to this sect (i.e. the lesbian sect) of the fandom seeing vriska and realising that she has Big Lesbian Energy and also shares very large portions of her story with The Lesbian Narrative (in that her only important relationships that actually affected her emotionally were all with women; xtine once said that vriska got more worked up about aradia’s indifference towards her than she felt about tavros in the entire comic which is very true) and her arc definitely shows lots of traits of like, comphet (going after tavros because of her ancestor and because she thought that’s what she was supposed to do) and general social dissonance.

so like, there’s a lot about vriska that points towards her being a lesbian, and frankly i genuinely cannot imagine her being in a fulfilled or happy relationship with a man, at all (and it surprises me that some people can). however this was never stated outright in the comic, and a lot of this evidence is probably more difficult to pick out or relate to if you’re..not .. a lesbian, obviously, which is fair. i still dont put stock in people who use john, tavros, eridan or fucking nic cage as “evidence” for vriska being attracted to men because all of those relationships (if they were even that) fucking sucked and vriska was not invested in like any of them emotionally [apart from john but there’s like a Lot to that and ultimately i think vriska wasn’t romantically interested in him, she was just not used to being treated like a normal person and john helped her realise that the hyperviolence imposed upon her by society was shitty]

i.. dont want to be Like That but i genuinely just think it’s unfair when people take characters who are very obviously Lesbians [or gay men i.e. dirk] and be like ‘ya well heres an m/f relationship i like with u in it’ when homestuck has like. COUNTLESS characters who are bi/attracted to folks of another gender

and i get annoyed about rose’s lesbian identity being erased in the same way i distrust folks who erase dave’s bisexuality, because similarly, his bisexuality is an important, integral part of his character and erasure is bad

I WILL ALSO SAY bi terezi is more valid than bi vriska though i hc both as lesbians 90% of the time, but folks that go “uhhh calling terezi a lesbian is bi erasure!” and ignore the whole “you dont need him” retcon arc really don’t... get it and are failing to empathise with the folks who see their narrative in her (i am not trashing on bi terezi its a headcanon that i love too dont twist this shit)

also in general i just question the motivation of people who see characters in loving relationships with folks of the same gender, squint at it, and go “nah this sucks my m/f ship is better”

not to invalidate non-het folks in m/f relationships but yall cannot make me fucking care about like.........d/vej/de on my goddamn life