#bl ramblings

[myromancedramas]

i swear to god like once a month i need to rewatch the bad buddy first kiss it keeps me going

[holdmyloofah]

bad buddy has consumed my mind for so long. ive grown such a deep love and attachment to it that i'm terrified to watch the our skyy episodes. like I have watched all of the other's (with the exception of 1000 stars since surprise patpran is there too) but the thought of the episodes not having the same ~*spark*~ the same ~*vibe*~ terrifies me. i need someone else that is equally as attached to this stupid little show to convince me they're worth watching.

[blglplus]

My Top 10 BL’s of all time (and also 2022 because I’m new)

So I only discovered BL this year and what an incredible year of TV watching it has been. This year was difficult and I needed the escape. I first got obsessed with Heartstopper and then someone suggested I check out Thai BL and she was a goddamn genius. I had already been reading a lot of M/M romance novels and watching all the western queer shows I could like Heartstopper, Love, Simon, Young Royals etc. But the absolute joy and madness of BL knows no equal. 

So here is my personal top ten BL’s that I watched this year. Meaning many of these are from previous years it’s just that I only discovered them this year. So the title of this list could be very misleading

1. 2gether - this was the first one I watched and will always have a special place in y heart. It was like watching high production fanfiction and I’m INTO it. It loses some points for being homophobic/femmephobic towards Green of course. Also it had a LOT of “sing your feelings” but it was cute, funny and Bright was SO good. Not to mention insanely hot? I even watched Boys Over Flowers because he was in it and ENJOYED it. 

2. My Beautiful Man - this one hit me on a personal level and I just loved it. The complexity of the characters and their journeys. The actor who played Kiyoi was incredible! He deserved the award/awards he got. This one had depth in a way that I can’t quite articulate.

3. Seven Days - this was so freaking cute. I watched it because @absolutebl recced it and Phi was right - I have already re-watched bits of it multiple times. The chemistry was on point and again there was a complexity and depth to the characters that was explored really well. Love it. Also I love all the nods to the manga in the filming style, very cool. Phi was also right that you need to ignore the hair.

4. Cherry Magic - how is it possible for one show to be THIS adorable? This is the one I want to show all my friends and family. I was constantly giggling in that shy way you do when you’re texting someone you have a crush on. I loved it.

5. KinnPorsche - how much hotness can one show contain? And I’m not even into dudes very much! Was this show messy and at times illogical? Sure. Did I care? Not at all. I love every single inch of it. I loved the narrative behind it. It was a trip and it was amazing.

6. Semantic Error - this show is perfect. It’s cute, it’s funny, it’s beautifully shot, the leads have great chemistry. Perfect romcom. The uke is so hot!

7. Why R U - I honestly found this show hilarious. I love a neurotic meta thinker (Zon) and Tutor/Fighter had such good chemistry. It got messy towards the end sure. That scene where Zon was freaking out in Saifah’s bed and made a pillow fort was just so funny to me, I can’t explain it. I love them.

8. Love By Chance - the Ae/Pete only cut. Luckily I was warned by the internet about the rapiness of the side couples in this one so I skipped lots of them (though I still watched Pond’s story and Tin/Can). Ae and Pete are so freaking cute and Perth’s acting as Ae is incredible. I can’t believe he was only 16 at the time! When they look at each other I get all warm like drinking a hot chocolate. It’s so freaking cute. Also I love the read of Ae as demi.

9. We Best Love - No 1 for you. This was cute as was it’s sequel. Great chemistry, solid story, excellent.

10. The RamKing cut of My Engineer. If we were taking the whole show into account there are other shows I love more for sure, but I love this side couple SO MUCH. Even though I sort of enjoy the D/s elements of seme/uke I love it when there is less seme/uke or the lines are blurredand both characters take both roles and it feels more honestly queer. Also I’m a big fan of the silent, tough, loyal type that Ram is in this one. Plus the longing glances! And the flowers! Just so cute! I’ve already watched their cut at least 3 times through. I quickly started fast forwarding over the others when I was watching it.

Honourable Mentions:

Bad Buddy - this was great and solid plus I love that they are explicitly verse and some queer stuff is addressed. Not to mention side GL couple! We love! More of this please (though can we have some that aren’t femme please for the love of flannel?) It didn’t make the list because it just didn’t quite make me squee as hard as some of the ones above.

Love in the Air but only Payu/Rain. I feel like the dubcon with Payu/Rain is less dubious because of the non-verbal signals going on there. Consent doesn’t have to be just verbal - some people struggle with verbal. But maybe I’m just justifying this to myself haha, but hey, I won’t yuck your yum, don’t yuck mine. Plus Rain is hilarious, like honeslty hilarious. I mostly hated Prapai/Sky. The diary reading was especially terrible.

Secret Crush on You - yes it’s cringey. I love it anyway. I love the friends (especially Daisy of course - I wish Daisy’s story was more fleshed out!). I LOVE the chemistry and that there are seme/uke vibes but Toh, the uke, is hella into it! Love Jao/Sky. This show is happy and comforting and I can skip the extra painful bits!

I told the sunset about you - this one gave me too many feelings and it hurt. But it was beautiful and great also. The one I would show to my arty friends.

2moons2 but just the side couples. Especially Beam/Forth, so cute!

What I’m watching now:

I am participating in this strange antiquated tradition of watching TV shows AS THEY AIR with only one episode dropping per week! It’s madness! Absolute madness! I’m currently watching: Between Us (Win is so hot!), My School President (so cute!), Never Let Me Go (so exciting!), The New Employee, Ameiro Paradox and Gap: the series (I will watch all the GL dammit).

I’m also part way through:

The Eclipse

Be Loved in House (I do)

planning to start eternal yesterday because apparently I like pain?

[happypotato48]

This Is A Gay Asian Rant About BL Comments Made By Some Queer Westerners I See Sometimes.

So you know of those gays (usually white) that made dumb tiktok dancing to list of countries that legalized same sex marriage and list of countries that discriminate against LGBTQIA+ poeple as a way to say something racist. yeah i kinda got the same vibes from some comments regard how asian BL is homophobic just cause they don't live up to queer western standard. look, i'm not saying that some BLs and their creators don't deserve criticism regard how they capitalized/exploited queerness for an easy cash grab.

But people need to understand that Asian countries despite recent progress are still very much culturally conservatives. so when people says that thai bl is homophobic and all the characters looks like bunch of straight guys, which is true for some olders thai BLs i'm not gonna denied that. but after all this time and newer BLs generally being very queer and most of creators being out queer themself and poeple still making these comments, i'm annoyed.

And don't get me start on the actors. you don't know them! why are you making assumption and calling them queerbaiter just cause they acts in bl. like maybe they're straight, maybe they're not but what they're definitely doing is making queer content for you know, queer people here. so when you made halfass comments about their sexuality what do you think that made other queer people who still in the closet feels. and when you add the nationality to that, "these thai bl pair are this and that, this korean actor is so ungrateful for his bl past", etc. when our societies are still very much still in progress regard LGBTQIA+ acceptance. it make us living here feels fucking awful like somehow we're lesser queer than people in the west just cause we don't have citibank at pride or some shit.

And the shittiest in my humbled opinion are comments regard censored chinese bls. people do know like, that the creators making these bls are risking their livelihoods for this. that these shows getting make at all are miracles. yes it sucked that they're censored but they're still very much queer shows making by queer people who want to express thier queerness despite the chinese government being the chinese government. when people dimissing these shows as not belonging in queer media, you're also dimissing their creators and audiences as not belonging in the community.

Look what i want to say is that we're trying our best over here, and maybe our best are not up to your liking. the ways we talk and express our queerness maybe still can be perceived as problematic by western queer standard. but these media are our house and you're the guests. for people aren't shitty we appreciated that you're here engaging and loving our media, this is your home too and you're welcome in it. i can speak for myself that i very much love being here on tumblr and interacting with people from all over the world who love BL. but for people who are being shitty sometimes about asian bl.

YOU'RE THE GUESTS, BEHAVE!

[ririnya7]

The eyes tell a story

And in Zhiyuan's case they never lied. Kurt did an excellent job at conveying the difficult task of falling in love in plain sight.

Zhiyuan as a character always stayed true to his feelings. He never expresses his desires but his eyes can't follow logic. He always seems to gravitate towards Qian at all times. It seems automatic like he can't help himself but be pulled to attention by his presence. Like a sunflower to the Sun. Like the Moon to the Earth.

And even though he doesn't express (outside of his inner monologue) the struggle of "falling in love with the wrong person" we can see it clearly. His inner thoughts are summed up on furtive glances and pained looks.

We can feel all the emotions and anguish his character has had to overcome until they bloom into acceptance.

His eyes stay glued to its target no matter the outcome or consequence or who might be watching. Because in the end only one pair of eyes does he care to look into.

[cheebuss]

drop it low white boy

[thisonelikesaliens]

unrequited:

now:

unrequited:

now:

unrequited:

(?) years later:

DIRECTOR RAY JIANG PLEASE GIVE ME DOMESTICITY

[syrena-del-mar]

Dead Friend Forever Is More Than Just A 90s Slasher Film Imitation

Oh man, I went in thinking I would just get a whole lot of gore and murder, and instead I'm getting a buttload of social class distinction, parental issues, mental health crises, organized crime, and a highly-likely revenge plot line.

The thing about Dead Friend Forever is that it starts unassuming, almost like an copy of all other teen slashers from the 90s. A group of friends, up in a cabin and suspects to a potential murder, become hunted one-by-one. A cliche slasher plot if I ever heard one. Until it’s not. This show is taking up a very big corner of my brain, so I’m going to delve deeper into it.

If you haven't watched episode 6 yet, spoilers up ahead.

Pulling inspiration from 90s slasher re-inventor, Scream

The first four episodes really set up the expectation that DFF was going to be another slasher, seemingly particularly influenced by Scream (1996). Scream was a turning point for slasher movies, signaling a shift in from the movies of the 80s to that of the 90s. It was the first of many movies to allow for the characters to be self-aware of what genre they're working in, where the characters knew of the slasher-movie tropes and attempted to do everything right to survive. Scream is also the first slasher to truly humanize the killers, and I don't mean by making them empathetic, but rather the killers were human, so they made human mistakes. Prior to Scream, the antagonists in slasher films were usually this supernatural villain that was just murder-hungry. But in Scream, the killers are all just regular people and would often make mistakes on their way to kill the protagonists, like a normal human would. It's why Scream was scary, the killer could be anyone, it wasn't this supernatural being. And even when you're making the right choices to escape, you still end up dead.

In Dead Friend Forever, we're getting so many of the same tropes that Scream had subverted. The group is working understanding exactly what they're facing; Fluke warning to not pull out the stake inside Por, Top wanting to split up in the temple while Phee, Jin and Tan veto against it expressly stating it would be like the horror movies, White not wanting to be left behind in the cabin. They all know what they shouldn't be doing while there is a killer on the loose. Also, it's why there's these funny little moments of the killer in DFF (i.e. having to steal the motorcycle to get back to the cabin). I'm not completely convinced that there isn't any paranormal activity or at least some type hallucinogen-component at play, but the way the killer acts is very human-like. Not to mention the parallel of Barcode (arguably the most popular actor in the show) getting slashed in the first minute of the show, eerily similar to how in the opening scene of Scream, Drew Barrymore (the most well-known of the cast) gets killed immediately.

The Benefits of Series Format versus Movie Format

The series format is where I think Dead Friend Forever is really shining the most. @wen-kexing-apologist made an awesome post on the directorial direction this show is taking, particularly in how since the first four episodes we have very little context as to why the killings are occurring or even the state of everyone's relationship, we're freely able to form opinions on each character. Similarly, prior to getting to know what happened to Non, I also thought Tee was the better one of the group. But here we are, two episodes later and I find him to be the most detestable of the bunch (which says something, when Por and Top are competing in this category).

We're seeing and experiencing the absolute hell that this friend group had actively made (sans Jin and Fluke that suffer from the bystander effect) Non's life out to be. In a regular slasher movie, especially ones that model themselves after Scream, we find out why the Killer is doing what he's doing to the victims in the last quarter of the movie, but the emotional value is a little skewed. The little amount of time we spend learning about what the victims did to the Killer usually still leaves you feeling at least a smidge of pity for the victims and some joy that the Final Girl made it. Here, the mass consensus is that each and every one of them should die.

And it comes back to the luxury of spending several episodes in a flashback to what lead up to the killings after the game of cat-and-mouse has begun. We're introduced to Non as an outsider, where everyone, but Jin, has already formed a bad opinion of Non. They already have a brutal nickname for him (read @forkaround's awesome analysis on the term 'Greasy'). They already established that he's an outsider in the classroom, but they make an active point of only referring to him as 'Greasy' and Non just accepts it. We see the friend group frame him, causing him to spiral twice to point of suicide, proceed to prey on him into a money laundering scheme, get him caught in a criminal investigation, all while already undergoing mental health treatment. We're given that time to know and see the pain that Non is caused, the manipulation that he is put under, and ultimately the devastation that they've caused.

Dead Friends Forever is more than just another teen slasher, because it has time. And it's using its time wisely, giving us bits and pieces of information in the beginning before delving into something more sinister than the killer on the loose, the original five. Run-of-the-mill bullying has turned into framing, assault and other criminal activity, even murder. And yet, while Non is the one that has disappeared (or died), the other five have been able to make a life for themselves without suffering any of the consequences. It's showing exactly what they have done to deserve everything that is coming to them.

Final Thoughts

Man, Be on Cloud is truly blowing it out of the water with this show. I'm actually a bit sad that it's only barely starting to get the recognition that it deserves, because in my opinion, it's just that good, BUT I also understand why it's had a sleepy start. It's in an place, a BL in one sense, but not exactly a BL in any other. I've said it before, but no matter what you think of BOC as a management company, the stories that they tell are unique and they have the artists that are competent enough to deliver. Be on Cloud has, allegedly, allowed the writers take the reign on the show, even if this means messing with the couples, so even more chaos is going to occur. This is, frankly, exciting to see and experience the story as they want it to be told.

I said this when I first saw Barcode in KinnPorsche deliver that heartbreaking cry, that boy knows how to cry. He was a newbie and his stole that scene. Now this is his third show under his belt and his acting chops only continue to improve, I truly can't wait to see what more he is able to do here in Dead Friend Forever. I love that Sammon is also enjoying what Barcode has able to bring forth in Non and that all her worries have been eased. I truly think that Barcode is going to have an incredible career ahead of him, whether in music or in acting.

Ta, on the other hand, also deserves his share of accolades. I wasn't sure of how to read to Phee in the first four episodes, but with the information that episode 6 has given us? The picture has cleared significantly and now, having rewatched his scenes, everything makes sense on why he seemed to be conniving. Episode 6 had some of the strongest performances and yet the biggest gasp I made was in the last minute. The singular tear rolling down Phee's cheek after having to perform the two-finger method, to have Non throw up the pills, and holding him in his arms? Quite literally jaw-dropping.

Sammon has a strong repertoire of shows, so I have complete faith that she knows what she's doing for Dead Friend Forever. I hope this becomes as much of a cult favorite, much like Manner of Death and Triage.

Anyways if you need me, I'll probably be stuck thinking about PheeNon for the next week until episode 7 airs.

[tinycowboybro]

ok still thinking about episode 6 and i just can’t get over that Mhok was CRYING during this interaction

there were so many other moments when it would have make sense to see Mhok cry; being told to leave the birthday party, realizing he liked Day at the bridge, seeing August kiss Day, but he didn’t because those moments all revolve around his own feelings

no, what made Mhok cry was that August hurt Day. It’s Day’s feelings that make Mhok cry, knowing that August was pitying Day and saying those hurtful things while Day was standing right there. He’s frustrated and hurt and he’s hurt for Day too.

Mhok is just so incredibly empathetic and it kills me that he thinks he’s not soft or tender because he is, he is so full of love that he cries for the boy he loves when the boy’s crush hurts him even though he was willing to step aside for him (initially at least., Mhok is only human and i’m glad he was ready to fight back for Day with the sunflower at the end bc i am an August hater first)

[myromancedramas]

bad buddy has the all time best build up to a first kiss ever. i could rewatch it a thousand times and i will. just saying

[ravenpureforever]

I think the best part of KinnPorsche, and it really comes to mind with this latest episode, is that every character thinks they’re in a different genre and it’s the funniest thing watching it clash with the reality.

Kinn is just living his best rom-com life where he falls for his sassy but kind assistant bodyguard that he can no longer live with out.

Porsche is basically a YA novel where he falls for his sexy morally ambiguous love interest who’s secretly sweet but *gasp* his past has come to haunt him!

Pete thinks he’s in a dark psychological thriller where he must battle his inner demons and brooding but hot captor to maintain his humanity but it threatens to over take him at any moment as he is torn between his newly found dark desires and the reputation he prides himself on.

Vegas acts like he’s in gothic bodice ripper novel where his entire world becomes the kind, empathic heroine Pete and he will do anything to keep him to himself and Pete is going to help him overcome the truama of his past with his love.

Kim sees himself in this brooding noir style detective film where he must uncover the dark past of his family but oh no he finds himself falling for the pure and sweet ingénue Chay and must wrestle with the dangerous life he leads and the mission he’s devoted himself to and the love of his life

Porchay thought he’s living his Wattpad dream life where he meets his idol and gains his respect as he tutors him and they slowly develop a sweet friendship that turns into a heartfelt romance

They really demonstrate how all the characters are protagonists of their own story, and that’s how they make their decisions, based on the assumptions on the world around them. They think they know the story their in, and that’s the role they have taken, but the tragedy and the complications of these relationships is that they aren’t in a single genre story. They’re people, achingly human people, interacting with other complex people and what is salvation for one is a damnation for the other.

They aren’t in any specific genre (you know, beyond on the whole mafia thing) and that’s where the miscommunication happens, that’s how the drama unfolds, that’s how all these different romances keep missing each other, because they’re all operating on different wavelengths based on the story they think *THEY’RE* in and not stopping to really consider the other perspective.

It’s absolutely hilarious, it’s terribly tragic, it’s utterly beautiful and performed so well by the writers and the actors.

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

Intouchables and Last Twilight

So, when I was first watching the Last Twilight episode, something was bugging me about the choice of having Day in a wheelchair. Because it was a choice. And as I kept watching it, I kept feeling like I was missing something. My memory is terribly slow with these things, so it wasn't until I went back that I got it. Intouchables. So now, for some context. Intouchables is a french film from 2011 that tells the story of a french rich businessman that, after becoming quadriplegic from a paragliding accident, hires a young black man to be his carer. This is based on a true story. (Yes, there is an american version, but I haven't seen it so I can't speak to it.) If you've never watched this movie, go watch it, cause for sure Aof has watched it.

You can probably already see the parallels just from this small synopses. I'm gonna say too much about the movie, I'm just gonna talk about the similarities so far.

So we got our two main characters. Philippe and Driss. Philippe is our basic older rich white guy, with the palatial mansion and a hundred people servicing his every need. Also he's quadriplegic. Driss is the opposite side of all of this. He is poor, he lives off of unemployment benefits, his house is small and cramped, shared with family. So, Driss needs to look for a job to get the benefits, but he doesn't actually want the job. He just needs to show that he's looking for one. All he needs is a signature. Anyway... So he goes for an interview.

I think you can spot Driss.

While he's waiting for the interview, we see the other man being interviewed.

.

And at some point he's had enough.

.

And he simply bursts into the room.

.

I mean, one is a palatial living room, and the other is basically an office but you the picture. This next part in the film is slightly different in the show, because Driss is not even phased by the vision of the man in the wheelchair. He's much more interested in Magalie, the secretary, but we couldn't have that in our bl.

.

After this, the similarities continue. Because both Driss and Mork don't want the job, but both Philippe and Day are intrigued by this guy that just walked in and that doesn't seem to be interested in the actual job. Also because both Driss and Mork don't really act like what Philippe and Day are used to people acting around them.

[I beg of you. Even if you don't watch the film, just watch the interview bit. Because it's brilliant. Driss is brilliant] So Driss eventually leaves, to return another day for the signed paper. And Mork just leaves. And the next scenes are basically the same, we're shown the circumstances that will eventually lead them both to want the job. There are other parallels between Driss and Mork, and their circumstances and environment, the smoking and the drinking, the fighting... But for now this is it. I'll be re-watching the film this weekend so I might have some other thoughts but I wanted to get this out. I don't know if the show will continue to parallel the film, so I'm not going to say anymore about it. But I'm keeping this is mind for the next episode, because from the previews I have a feeling this is gonna continue. Also, I adore this film and everyone should watch it.

[obstinaterixatrix]

here are all the recs I posted for femslash february 2024...! each individual rec post can be found in my femslash feb recs tag. I actually thought I wasn't going to be able to do this because work got super chaotic, but in the end I couldn't bear to skip out on a leap year. that's a whole extra day for yuri.

last year I focused on official releases, so this year I wanted to focus on series that aren't technically officially available (plus a french-japanese film). fan translations are always a dicey for artists/translators/publishers/etc because obviously they need to get paid... but yuri's already such an overlooked genre that—in an official capacity—we end up with a couple drops from what's already a pretty small pool. I read hana to hoshi about a decade ago, and I keep submitting it to the seven seas survey for licensure! and yet!! no dice. and even when there are official releases, sometimes they just... disappear!? wish you were gone was licensed and then taken down, so for a while the only way to read it (if you missed out on buying it) was the fan translation. I think it's important to support artists and official releases, and also, to appreciate the thankless endeavor(/crime) of scanlation.

hope yall find something you like!

[happypotato48]

I think it would be fun to highlight some changes wandee goodday made as an adaptation. so here a few notable things in no particular order.

I'm not going into spoiler territory, but even if i want to the book didn't had a lot of plot to begin with and i doubt the show will follow what gone down in the book without adding a lot to it.

In the book Wandee is 29 and Yak is 20. cause of the age gap their dynamic is slightly different than in the show. Yak called Dee Phi and he use Nong as 1th person pronoun with Dee.

the convenience store scene is where they first met in the book. there was no hospital visit at all. Dee legit was following a complete stranger and being unhinged for the first peice of man meat he can find.

Yak have more of a passive personality in the book. the book made a point that although he looks like a thug Yak is actually very soft spoken and polite. this + the age gap made it feels like Dee is the one in charge in their relationship.

there was no scholarship in the book. Dee asked Yak to be his fake bf solely for petty reason, people in the hospital were gossiping and he just don't want to be the loser who got rejected.

Ter didn't said "I only like girls" in the book and made it clear that he didn't wanted Dee because Dee was too boring for him.

Pakao is not a doctor who work at the same place as Dee. his sexuality was never stated and he barely shows up in the book.

Taemrak gender was never clearly stated in the book (in the thai version at least.) but it's heavily implied by their appearance description and Yak choice of pronouns that they're a boy. Taem same with Pakao in the book had zero characterization and mostly there just to be plot points than an actual characters.

I really loved what they've done with the show so far. and although i had fun with the book, i'm way more excited and invested in what going in the show. @shortpplfedup put it best "i read the novel and it is truly porn without plot"

[doublel27]

We Are: Queer Found Family and Romance

Or the meta I didn’t intend to write.

It’s taken 9 eps (of me admittedly watching We Are through gifs and clips on Twitter, because I have yet to pay for iQIYI and I am bad at grey watching) but I think I have figured out the central conflict/plot of We Are and why the mostly linear narrative of Phum and Peem with the in media res relationships of our other three pairings made this impossible to fully tease out until we got all the pieces.

The through line that connects all of these stories about how incredibly hard it can be to be part of a queer friend group when the lines of friendship and romance blur, especially when there’s a real aspect of found family to that group.

Two things really cemented it for me this week: Tan telling the gang (and therefore the audience) the full scope of his background with Fang, as well as the beginning of Phuwin’s IG live where he talks about why he likes Kluen as a character is that he’s very direct with people he likes and isn’t blurring the lines between friends and possibly fucking up the friendship.

Because that’s the central problem that all four main couples of the show grapple with in different ways. I’m gonna get into all of that under the cut.

I’m going to start with Tan and Fang because aou contains multitudes and is my beloved while going for Fang could have always messed up his relationship with Phum, we find out in episode 9 that Tan met Fang first. Unsurprisingly, it’s not a great first meeting between what are seemingly two known fighters of what appear to be rival high schools. But then Tan finds Phum and Fang being jumped by a group from his own high school and saves them and eventually becomes friends with them sometime two years+ before the start of our story. Within this time, Tan falls so far in love with Fang, who can both out bitch and out fight, him that Tan goes full simp instead and cuts out the fighting(love that for him).

And mixing his reveal to his friends of how he met Fang and how Fang eventually consumed his waking thoughts to the point he would wish to order Fang as a pizza topping (my love for Tan is immeasurable).

But take us back to episode 2 (which is now on YouTube for US watchers for how long I don’t know) and Tan has clearly not seen Fang in awhile. He asks Phum to invite Fang out where Tan will happen to be. At the time, it was taken as Tan and Phum are university friends and Tan and been obsessed with Fang ever since and needs Phum to make the connections. But the clues that Tan and Fang were also close were already laid down. Their exchange goes:

Tan: Hey. It’s been awhile. Right?

Fang: I thought you were dead.

Tan: Come on. I haven’t seen you in ages either. (That’s the English translation, but the flow of the conversation connotes that Fang hasn’t sought him out either)

At which point Phum makes the face he always makes when Tan is in Fang hyperfocus mode of looking away and sighing. And Fang pointedly asks why Phum invited him out and what is going on.

Which is a weird exchange when you think Tan is Phum’s friend who is obsessed with Fang. It is a less weird exchange between friends that have been avoiding each other for an unspecified amount of time. And we can assume Tan started avoiding Fang because he was madly in love with him and didn’t know how to handle it and didn’t tell Fang why he was avoiding him.

In the episode 9 speech to his friends, Tan outlines that he didn’t think Fang would ever reciprocate his feelings (that it was impossible) and didn’t want to fuck with the friendship (at which point Pun sends a longing look to Chain but we’ll get back to that later) with Fang and Phum and he buried it. Until he couldn’t live with it any longer and decided to do something about it.

Which with the limited information we have, his feelings were already fucking with his friendship. He already didn’t know how to approach Fang because of his feelings at the start of the show, so is it better to not try and hope the romantic feeling dies while avoiding your friend or shoot your shot and maybe get a boyfriend out of it or maybe continue to fuck up your friendship. Tan chooses to roll the dice and it’s clear from the moment they leave the bar in episode two that Fang likes him back.

They both watch each other when they think the other isn’t looking. Fang is the one who sends Phum and Peem home together and sets himself up with a taxi ride with Tan. It’s particularly interesting to me after episode 9, this exchange, because Fang looks at a passed out Peem, mouths Peem? And proceeds to ask Phum if this is the guy that hit him while Tan snickers and Peem looks like the saddest wet cat. It’s only after the affirmative from Phum that Fang is essentially like “well, you can take him home Phum. Take home your drunk friend who hit you and I will go home with Tan.” Which our besotted Tan jumps at.

And considering the parallel between Tan and Fang meeting and Tan immediately sassing him and Fang throwing a punch leading to a fight, and Phum ruining Peem’s painting which led to mutual sassing and a kick to the nuts and a fight…I don’t know if Fang is a mastermind and connected the dots because these brothers need someone who will occasionally not be afraid talk back if need be and sees the potential for Phum to care as much about Peem as Fang does for Tan. Or if he just wants time alone with Tan and doesn’t see it. Look, I wouldn’t be surprised if Fang is secretly a long game mastermind.

Once they’re alone, Tan and Fang steal glances and flirt in the way that Tan makes very loud attempts at flirting and

Additionally, Fang is reserved like Phum, and seemingly as isolated as his only friends seem to be Phum’s friends. We don’t know if he is just not paying attention to other members of the architecture faculty or knows stuff about Kluen he won’t share. As previous parts of this narrative are folded in later episodes, we may find out. What we do know is he’s either ever only appeared alone or in connection to Tan and Phum and Phum’s friends. Even with the flashbacks, Tan points out that the head of the Fang, head of cheer club, approaches him alone and later it’s just Fang and Phum when Tan finds the group of guys jumping them. We know he and Phum adopt Toey who is bullied in high school. It makes sense why he’s potentially reserved about pushing things with Tan if Tan becomes his first real high school+ friend that he has outside of his brother.

Which is why by the time we get to episode 5, Fang says yes before Tan finishes talking. He’s been waiting but also wasn’t willing to be the first to put himself out there. And considering how much Fang and Phum seem to live in their heads and not in the world with everyone else, I can see why he needed Tan to be the one to commit to it first, especially with Fang’s later comments about not understanding why hanging out with him is a preference of Tan’s. I do hope we cross his “don’t tell tan how gone I am on him” bridge later in the narrative. Cause I think Tan knows, but also it’s nice to hear.

Let’s go back to another long-suffering pair where only one half really knew why they were suffering, and the other got a nasty shock, QToey.

I know the guys are all team if Toey loves Q and Q loves Toey then why is Q so hesitant? And I get it, but let’s talk about the double shock Q suffered and the potential layers of risk Q is facing.

It’s not just that Q is cautious with his heart. That is a factual truth. It’s why he ghosted Milk Frappe Boy, because while he fell in love with Milk Frappe Boy I think there was a deep worry, and a self esteem issue that the reality of Q, instead of Pencil Senior, would not be enough for Milk Frappe boy. So Q bolted and then deeply regretted said bolting enough say so to both Toey, not knowing the truth, and to Peem.

But the fact that he learned that Toey was indeed Milk Frappe boy at the same time he learned all of his best friends, his family for all intents and purposes, also knew and no one told him. And the way the confrontation is staged between Q and Toey, it is Q against Toey and everyone else is behind Toey.

And that, friends, that’s the real third rail for Q.

It’s one thing to know that he loved Milk Frappe Boy and that he loves Toey. And that is scary enough. The fandom loves to joke about how Toey is everyone’s little brother and they’ve all adopted him: and that is a correct assessment. But that means if Q fucks it up with Toey, he stands a chance in his mind of everyone else choosing Toey over him.

That fear doesn’t even feel that unfounded when everyone calmed Toey down mostly before Peem, Q’s true bestest friend, came out to be with him. Like Peem caught Toey before going after Q. The next episode nearly every character but Q (aside from Fai who is at all connected to this group) shows up to plan how to support Toey in getting Q.

And while I know my brain cell-less brain trust fully believe they’re helping Q, no one actually seems to ask what Q wants. Aside from Peem trying to get him to come to some that first night on the curb, no one ever asks. And that night all Q wants is to sleep in a pile with his four best friends, because that’s his family. Losing them is even scarier than losing Toey. In essence he’s lost Milk Frappe Boy once. He could do it again. But if they chose Toey…IDK.

We don’t know anything about their families really, aside from Peem’s lovely aunt and the fact that Phum doesn’t get along with his dad. And I get why when the focus is really on these large groups of found families (that are becoming one large found family) that the audience is really in love with. The bonds between the friends are just as much a part of the romance as the actual romances. Because the friendship is where the complications come from.

And while I can’t speak to mlm spaces, as I have never identified as a man, within queer wlw and non-binary spaces there are jokes about dating yourself out of friend groups. There are people you used to know who you don’t anymore because you dated someone in the friend group and were too new and got bounced. Or you date and the way it ends make everyone choose one side. Or, a person in the friend group has a crush on another person in said group, that is an open secret but when the person who was crushed upon gets a new relationship people get mad at them for not dating the person in the friend group who liked them all along because didn’t everyone know. (None of these are from personal experience I assure you 🙃)

And it doesn’t always happen like that. Sometimes the people figure out a friendship or a queer platonic solution when they’re not attracted to each other anymore. Sometimes they orbit around the friend group like two comets on opposite trajectories, occasionally crossing in awkward moments. Sometimes everyone gets past the weird. Sometimes no one does.

But that’s the risk that we’re playing in this show. I can choose the romance, but if it doesn’t work out, I am gambling this safe zone.

Which is gonna bring me to our last two pieces of this: one has had the most development and one the least but both are struggling.

I’m gonna start with Chain and Pun who are the most unhinged, gay yearning codependent besties that exist in the middle of the week and give Potae and Payos on Only Boo a real run for their money. (Both have lips touching earlobes and I don’t have a platonic answer for either) The thing is, I think both Chain and Pun are very aware of the mutual feelings. They both have moments where you know they’re aware but neither will do anything about it. And they are in the case of the story, the most embedded in one single friend group, and have the potential to explode their core group of five if things go sideways.

Now, they’re also the pair that has been effectively dating this entire time without actually dating. The ear biting and the blowing on things in the other’s mouth and the…I don’t have platonic explanations for their behavior okay? I don’t. Not naming it keeps it from being real though. It’s a collective hallucination or the biggest game of chicken.

Eventually, though, one of them is going to cross the line in a way that can’t be erased or the line redrawn. And it’s gonna have to be big because their friends watched them gaze longingly into each other's eyes for 20+ seconds and thought it was normal. Because this is how they are.

And that brings us to not quite friends not quite lovers and not quite enemies, Phum and Peem. The risk is, as discussed in many other metas, mostly on Phum’s side here and it’s why he spent the episode so hesitant. Yes he started off particularly entitled and rude. His and Peem’s relationship started as a fight (but so did Tan and Fang) and Phum feels incredibly comfortable with Peem. He’s definitely neurodivergent coded my Phum, which doesn’t make his assholery okay, but it explains his hesitancy to try new things and his struggle with making friends and expressing his feelings.

He’s got friends but he doesn’t feel particularly deeply connected to them. Yes, Beer makes time for him and actively seeks him out to give advice. He and Fang have a level of sibling codependency that hints at neglect and Fang protecting Phum at all costs. We see Tan approach Phum most of the time and while some of that is angling to get to Fang, Tan does genuinely care. But Tan is also incredibly loud which seems to be a lot for our neurospicy Phum, and Tan also has his large found family with Peem. Same with Toey, who Phum and Fang adopted long ago, and clearly Phum adores him, but he’s also the little brother of the art faculty.

And Peem is a very loving and giving soul and he makes time and space for Phum even though he’s annoying and high handed and gets Phum out of his ruts and comfort zones. And Phum clearly wants Peem to choose him, because Phum has already chosen even if he hasn’t said “I like you and want to date you.” He’s said other very direct things about how safe he feels with Peem and how connected he feels to other people by hanging out with Peem. And Peem is this safe space for him to go out and connect with the world without it being overwhelming and he even feels more connected to his own friends.

And that’s the danger that Kluen represents and what Phum struggles with. He wants Peem to choose him, but he also doesn’t want to force Peem to make a choice and not choose him, and then lose out on the experiences he’s building with Peem as well as a break in some of the connections he has with the people closest to him as Fang and Toey find love within Peem’s group. And so again, the question comes around, is it better to stay in this limbo where no one says anything and maybe Peem dates Kluen but I get to keep him as a friend, or do I roll the dice like Tan and maybe win.

I think it’s been a hard thread to pull because without the context of Tan & Fang meeting first, and Phum and Peem mending their relationship to become something akin to friends who kiss sometimes and don’t talk about it, and the lingering feelings of betrayal for Q by his friends (where they learned about his largest secret/mystery and NO ONE TOLD HIM) which are later revelations in the course of the show, they feel like different types of love stories without the mess of friendship blurring the lines. The story feels linear, because we start in a school year with the meeting of Phum and Peem, the connections between the other characters are older than this year, leaving some of their stories in media res.

And it’s an interesting core struggle taking a risk when the line between who you’re friends with, who you depend on, and who you’re attracted to blurs and the potential for rifts in your safety net are everywhere. It’s not the first show with this as a central tangle nor is it specific to queer television. But the reality of the deep ties that can exist within queer friendships and how they form deep supportive communities makes the stakes higher. And that’s why the friendships are developed nearly as much if not more than some of the romances. That’s where a lot of the risk lies for these characters.

Anyway, that’s nearly 3K of thoughts I didn’t know I had in me about We Are until today. But here we are.

[tang3r1n]

getting chased through the woods by rich men in masks who paid for sweet lil chubby virgins >>>

men (and hange<3) who fit the bill; gojo (jjk), erwin (aot), reiner (aot), porco (aot), zeke (aot), eren (aot) hange (aot), endeavor (mha), all for one (mha), sir nighteye (mha), reo (bl), sae (bl), ryusei (bl), doflamingo (op), sir croc (op), literally any vinsmoke brother (op), ushijima (haikyuu), kuroo (haikyuu), and all ur favorites <3