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I'll finally have some free time tomorrow so I'm hoping i can actually get started on the next chapter of ITNL. I have a solid plan & it'll probably be easy to write once I get started with it... but Before That, I gotta get the ball rolling, & that's always the hardest part 😭
Gonna try tho. If I don't get to wolfwood in the next 2 weeks I'm going to scream
#speculation nation#itnl shit#like yea yea i know some really awful fucking shit happened to me just a week ago#but do i gotta lose my writing ability as a side effect??? annoyingggg#unfortunately i am only human which means i am subjected to all the horrid messiness of having a spirit#ANYWAYS. if things go according to my plans then. hm. 2 more chapters for sand steamer. 1 for geo plant.#then 1 for Legato. and BOY that's gonna be a fun one. im looking forward to it immensely.#1 more for may city shit. and then prooobably by the end of the next one wolfwood will be here?#so. Potentially 6 more chapters. relatively short chapters as im keeping all of the itnl chapters#but it's so far AWAYYYYY nightow why did u have to have wolfwood come in so late. smh.#bleh. i'll get there tho. i will.#this is my curse for making a longfic. it'll be worth the buildup. i LOVE the buildup.#it's just so hard when ur the one writing it bc i wanna get there so bad but i gotta respect the process#hoping that As The Spirit Heals writing will be easier for me again. i was churning out like 4k chapters every 2 days b4#i MISSS ITTTTT come on man let me tap into that power again. The Spirit Is Willing.#gonna try my best tomorrow and that is a promise.
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yall need to make sure i dont fuck up my last yr at uni bc i need to graduate with like allegedly first class honours but i'll really take just graduating ok thanks!
#like mondays ok i wont skip bc i hv french lit but after tht i hv a span class likely convo n i hate convo#tho i'm not sure bc convo usually has 3 options n the one with 3 options this time is on tues n online so idk#even if it's not convo i hate all span classes n now i'm likely not getting the minor why bother????#tues i hv the online span class at 8-10 thing is i hv a physical french class at 10-11 so the best option is leaving home to get the 6 bus#n arrive at uni for 8 n go to class from there#but also i cld just uh stay home attend class skip the french bc it's 1 hr of listening n then i hv apparenlty 5? hrs of class from2#so i'll just go in for those yah#wed im free yipee#thurs i hv a 2 hr fren class. alone tht's so skippable why go to uni for 2 hrs when i can stay home???? sorry my commute is legit like 4+hr#then fri i hv 3 hrs in the afternoon from 3 wont skip bc it's my elective n a span course#n like my elective is full coursework also so are fren n span so like not bad i shld be able to even myb bring up my gpa#i'll just hv one exam n tht's fren lit ew cringe#but really im just not feeling all of this bleh#cloud nonsense
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Like all snakes, Copperhead sheds his skin several times a year. It's an uncomfortable experience and one where he'll secret himself away in one of his many hideouts until the process is over and done with. After shedding, his scales become much more vibrant for a time so it's easy to tell when he's freshly shed therefore operating at peak health.
#🐍 || headcanons#🐍 || musings#Gonna whack out yesterdays asks while I can!#Thank you all for sending them <3#It's ya gorl's b-day today so I'll try and be here instead of AWOL#Still got work later tho bleh#Tried to get the week off but was denied#Might try and get a week off soon now it's September#Have not had any holiday this year!!#Copperhead has obligatory shedding days off tho#Feels so much better when that old skin comes off
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every day, no matter how cold it is, i get a liiittle more tempted to just skip school, turn off my phone, and drive the hr+ to the ocean despite being terrified of driving
#leoposting#i wouldn't turn off my phone actually it has ash in it :(#i'd ignore my parents tho...#i miss the ocean... i don't care if i'd be shivering in my hoodie i just want to see it. maybe that'd fix me#actually i'm too much of a goody-two-shoes to skip school... bleh...#maybe one of these days on the weekend i'll just... leave. probably not though. getting to the ocean means going through Scary Roads...#sigh. this stupid town has too many goddamn roundabouts i hate those things
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woah.... how'd this deer get so good at customer service.......
#chirping#bweh :P#if i look at my not-hooves for more than a second i get a headache -___-#still feeling deerish bleh#i can talk tho !! and i can type too !! yayaayyay!!!!#deer spam#dah ty y'all for putting up w my bs -.- it is appreciated#OH i bought some antlers for my headphones !!! i'll post em when they get here ^__^
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ppl always get so mad when i tell them that i dont like pizza that much sfssdfsgyfsfkggksdk
#like they get offended fr#i dont HATEEEE it.... its just. repetitive and... bleh#i have it too often#and theres not much u can do with it#like i'll eat it if its offered to ne but its NEVER gonna be my first choice!! 😭 i love white pizza tho#me*#and besides. im like 2% italian i can say that#🧁.txt
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The 5 love language
pairing: artist male y/n x childhood friend oc
warning: vomiting, stalking, obsessive behaviour, gore, open ending, not proof read, v rushed 📣📣
Valentine's Day, a day to spend with your loved ones, something you didn't have.
Forget spending Valentine's day with anyone- you had work at the convenience store. Sure, you're an artist, but money won't magically appear onto your kitchen counter.
Despite that, it didn't bother you as much as the sight you saw around you that day. (though bother might not be fitting, more like envious) There were couples everywhere on dates, holding hand and showing their affection towards each other. Bleh. (translation: when is it my turn?)
Either way, you could complain all you want but life still goes on. Sighing, you walk towards your apartment, staring down at your phone to avoid the sights of couples. It wasn't until an envelope at your door caught your attention.
The envelope had a simple yet design with a heart shape sticker on it, you hesitantly take it and enter your apartment.
After sitting on your couch for abit, you cautiously and gradually opens the letter, wary of any potential pranks, but nothing happened.
"Dear y/n
Happy Valentine's day, well, it's not Valentine's day yet but it will be soon.
I've always had a big crush on you, but i never gotten the chance to confess to you directly. Truth to be told, i'm not a courageous person, but you give me the strength to do so today :).
You are the most strongest, admirable person I've met. Whenever i listen to your music, I'm hit in awe with how talented you are. I fall even harder everytime i see you. Your presence is already enough for me to keep going.
Do you know the saying "the 5 love language"? They are words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. I would love to know which one is your love language, but instead of asking, I want to let you experience all of them. I aim to make you feel loved in every way possible, starting with words of affirmation!"
..Ah.
A secret admirer,,?
You honestly didn't know something so cliche that would be done in a high school romance movie would happened to yourself, in real life.
The rest of the kettle had you fuming like a kettle, was this person a fan of poets? They sure had their way with words.
As sweet as the letter sounds, you couldnt help but feel crept out by this, how much does this person knows you? Do you even know this person?
You could only hope that it's not someone creepy, like a stalker.. You opened your phone and take a picture of the letter, sending it to your childhood bestfriend.
y/n:
photo.jpeg
hyeon:
?
what's this?
y/n:
love letter,
saw it in front of my
apartment
hyeon:
does someone have a lil crush on little y/n :0?
y/n:
hyeon:
Daniel's got a competitor 😄
y/n:
NEVER
im forever loyal to daniel
👎👎
hyeon:
haha
why are you showing me this?
y/n:
idk
felt a lil crept out
dont u think its weird??
how did they know where i lived? idfk who they are
hyeon:
hmm, thats true.
maybe it's a neighbour? they mentioned they could hear your music, they might be living around your area ?
y/n:
that make it even worse
hyeon:
lock your doors and windows, you wouldnt want to entice your little 'admirer' to break in do you?
y/n:
gtg, bye
hyeon:
i was just joking D:!
I'll be back from Russia soon, i promise <3
y/n
mm, maybe dont.
take care tho
A few days went by and nothing happened, you were beginning to wonder if the letter was just a prank from the kids around the area.
Regardless, you didn't care, you were to tired from your work ealier. Getting yelled at by your manager in front of the customers, for something rather silly. (you looked really tired but manager took it as "mf u dont like ur work isit) This was far fron the first time, and not the worst thing that had happened, but it didn't make it less draining.
you went into your apartment, turned on the light and fell right onto your couch. Rent was due in 3 weeks,, you were mentally preparing yourself to starve for the next few days to be able to have a roof under your head.
everything was tiring you out, and you just want a car to come running into you already, but the house isn't going to clean itself. You had to do chores because you have been putting off chores for a few days now. It's going to pile up the more you tell yourself "i'll do it tomorrow." so you pushes your body off the couch to start.
maybe you can start by taking out the trash.
problem was, the trash was missing. you stared at the empty, new plastic bag over the trash you didn't remember replacing. are you hallucinating?
you went over the sink to wash the dishes, to find them cleaned and kept neatly inside the cabinet. huh.
you must be going crazy, you were sure you did not wash those dishes nor keep them. even if you did, you wouldn't store them as neat as this.
are you going insane?
you quickly check the laundry, and sure enough, they were all done up. the dirty clothes were washed, the one that you didn't bother folding was folded and put away in your bedroom. Neatly.
was your landlord here this morning? Even if he was, he wouls never done something like this. He only ever told you to stop being so lazy and clean the messy apartment. He even once demanded you to clean everything up while be watched but thats it.
you hit your head against the wall, hard, to check if you had not actually fallen asleep on the couch and this was all just a dream. you winced at the pain on your forehead, that sure gave you an answer that youre not hallucinating.
maybe you're just overworked..?
you sat on your bed, noticing a familiar envelope with another sticker on your pillow.
what the fuck.
you opened the envelope, which in it read,
"dear y/n,
Surprise, it's an act of service this time! you're so hardworking that you tire yourself out,, so i decided to do somethinf to lighten the load for you. Remember to take a break when you need it okay?
I also cooked dinner for you, it's your favourite :). They're in the fridge, please enjoy, it's not healthy to starve yourself.
Eternally yours,
Your secret admirer 💌"
you wanted to kill yourself.
your stalker is in fact, a stalker.
how did they get in your house?
how did they know your habits?
you didn't even bother eating the food in the fridge, letting it sit there as you spend the night searching for cameras in your house.
y/n:
hyeon,
they broke in
the mf that sent the letter broke in
photo.jpeg
hyeon:
broke in?
how? didn't i told you to lock the doors and windows?
y/n:
idfk hyeon
they broke in and like
did my chores
and even cook dinner for me
saying its an act of service
hyeon:
are you safe?
y/n:
i dont know am i
i know this sounds weird af but im
not joking
i dont feel safe in my house rn
hyeon:
call the police.
y/n:
with what evidence
tell them that someone sent two envelope, broke into my bouse, did my chores and cooked a meal for me??
ill sound like a maniac
then they'll send me to a mental hospital
hyeon:
you'll never know unless you try,
y/n, this sound dangerous, your life could be on the line bere.
please just call the police and see if they can do anything about it.
do you still have that previous letter with you?
y/n:
yeah
hyeon:
show that to them, including the new one.
y/n:
ok
ill try
hyeon:
okay.
i wish i wasnt in russia right now.
im so sorry, please wait a bit more, ill come back soon.
update me whenever you can.
y/n:
dont be sorry,
thank you.
you never had a peaceful sleep for the next few days, the only thing keeping you sane is messaging hyeon everyday.
you have been so worn out from what happened that night. you had gone to the police, but after they didnt found anything suspicious in your house besides the two letter, they then left and told you to contact them if anything happened.
useless. you texted to hyeon.
neither did the police nor you could find any hidden cameras around your house, but that didnt mean you were safe. they could missed them, or not search at the right place.
you were sitting on your couch, scrolling down your phone to distract what had happened. suddenly, someone knocked on your door.
you groaned, thinking it was your landlord, you got up, walked to your door and peek from the peephole. nobody was there.
you opened the door slowly, immediately notices the stench behind the door. sitting on the floor in the dark hallway were two boxes wrapped like gifts with a gold ribbon.
crimson liquid was seeping through the boxes, on top of one of the box was an envelope, the one you had received a few days prior.
you suppressed the urge to throw up as you felt your breath getting quicker and shallower. you opened your phone and called the police and messaged hyeon
y/n
hyeon
when the polices arrived, they opened the boxes and envelope. one of the polices seems panickes and quickly rushes to you bringing the envelope, making you read it.
"Dear y/n,
Two, the number of hands one would need to do a heart, i thought it would be romantic to give you two gifts. After all, what's Valentine's day without gifts?
I've seen the way those two treated you, i couldnt stand watching them mistreated you. How prideful that human trash must be to push all his mistakes onto you then punishes you? Just because he's a manager? You don't deserve that, dear, so, this is for you.
And that bastard landlord of yours, the way he stares at you and put his hand at you is so disgusting. If he's gonna look at you like that, he don't deserve his eyes. Just because he's your landlord, does not mean he can put his hand on you like that, so i cut them off.
i hope you enjoy the gifts, dear. I guess this can be considered to be acts of service too? I look foward to spending some quality time with you. I can't wait to finally have you in my arm.
ps. inside the hand of your manager is a necklace. <3
Eternally yours,
Your secret admirer 💌"
you glanced at the content of the boxes, puking at the side after seeing the blood hand of your manager and your landlord's head with his eyes gouge out.
you felt helpless.
you had nowhere to go.
you didnt wanna stay here anymore, you dont feel safe anywhere.
you just want to die.
as the police patting your backs and gives you a bottle of water, you receives a text message on his phone.
hyeon:
hey, i'm here now.
i'm sorry i couldn't reply to you earlier, i just arrived in south korea.
y/n:
hyeon thank god
please
can i stay at your place for a while
i cant stay here anymore
hyeon:
Of course, i'll pick you up.
when you finally met hyeon, you collapsed into the taller man's arm, letting the tears out you have been holding in as hyeon holds you close, embracing you in much needed warmth and comfort.
"here," hyeon placed down a plate of fried rice in front of you, coincidentally it being your favourite food but you dont have any appetite after what happened.
"i can tell you havent been eating well, it's all i have at the moment, but its better than nothing."
you appreciated him, but didnt wanna eat anything at the moment, the sight of your landlors was still fresh in your mind.
"thanks, but i feel really sick right now." you felt bad for putting hyeon through the trouble, only to turn it down in the end. "i'll heat it up and have it tomorrow."
"maybe you at least drink some water?"
"sure." Hyeon was already pouring a warm cup of water for you, you were glad you at least had hyeon to come to.
you two spent a while in an awkward silence, it was like hyeon would not ask what had happened until you were ready to talk about it yourself.
"do you have work later?" you asked to distract yourself.
No, hyeon had alarms around the house. He would be notified of any suspicious activities detected.
"no, my manager said he'll take care of it."
"oh.."
then the silence were back again, until hyeon opened his mouth.
"are you going to sleep now?"
"I.." you were sure you would not be able to sleep tonight, you do not know where that stalker was, what if they too breaks into hyeon's house? will you put him in danger as well?
Even so, you're still on edge.
"do you want to share a room?"
"what?"
"you don't have to sleep alone when i'm right here for you to cuddle with!"
you sighed, "hyeon-"
"no really, maybe im just overprotective but i really dont want to leave you alone. We can catch up on the past month, and maybe if i talk enough, it might put you to sleep?"
you cried into his arms for the second time that night.
you could not remember the last time you was help to sleep, you didnt think there was ever a time actually. when he slept besides hyeon, the latter would always wrap his body around you like a koala.
not that it surprised you, hyeon had always been handsy with you ever since the two was young, but only around him.
whenever they ate together, hyeon would reach his hand out to wipe a grain of rice or a drop of sauce off your face.
whenever they play fight, hyeon would always hug you as a way to "immobilize you". when hyeon suggested decorating the house for Valentine's day to take your mind off of things, he would hold your hand and guide you through tying ribbons and hanging decorations.
And when you still couldnt stop the anxiety from rising, hyeon would hold you so close, no matter what time it is, he would remind you to breathe, and prepare plastic bags for you in case you pukes.
Heck, he even made sure that you had fallen asleep first before he would.
you felt safe by hyeon's side.
On the morning of Valentine's day, hyeon was still asleep which was expected, he had waited for you to fall asleep the night before.
You carefully and quietly slipped out of hyeon's tight hold, and headed towards the washroom, you decided to clean hyeon's office then cook a meal for him.
walking toward hyeon's office, you noticed a few paperwork on his table. It seems like it was the paperwork hyeon's had been doing last evening.
His handwriting was exceptionally neat, it had been quite some time you last seen it, but you could remember envying the man for having such a neat writing.
you noticed a half opened file on the floor, you picked it up and read the content of the files out of curiousity
they were mostly a bunch of statistics and numbers, percentages and whatnot. you wanted to stop reading but you felt drawn in his handwriting. To you, it looked familiar, like you've seen it before.
you stared longer at the words until you realized,
realized why he found it familiar.
you flipped to the next page, why did hyeon have your landlord personal informations?
you felt arms hugging you from behind, "what are you doing, snooping around my work like that? what if it's confidential?'
you didnt answer.
"y/n?" hyeon seemed to noticed you tensing up, "sorry, did i scare you that badly? you just seemed so focused on those papers, i just had to-"
"Hyeon."
"Yeah?"
You didnt know what to say, you did not know what to ask. You didnt know how to ask him.
you wish you were just dreaming.
Because.. wasnt hyeon in russia all this time?
"y/n?"
Hyeon couldnt have been in south korea. He couldnt have went into your apartment. He couldnt have place those.. letters abd boxes in your apartment if he wasnt even in the same country as you
ah.
"y/n, are you okay?"
"hyein,, can i take a look at your passport?"
"my passport? why?"
"i just want to.. confirm something."
Hyeon looked at you for a while, before letting go of you "sure, let me go get it."
As he went back to his room, you held ontobthe table tightly to avoid collapsing.
its okay.
you just had to look into his passport, then you would realize how dumb you are to suspect hyeon, the person that sheltered you when you had nowhere to go. the man that's your childhood friend who would sacrifice anything for you-
Hyeon returned, with his passport in hand. "here you go." you were about to take the passport from hum until you saw it
or more like the lack of it.
instead of handing the passport to you normally, hyeon had flipped it to the latest page. Hyeon had supposedly flew to russia first of december last year.
The last time he travelled, according to the passport,
was back in june.
"you were wondering about this, werent you?" hyeon stepped closer towards you, "when did it click?"
"your handwriting you bastard."
"ah right, that was my mistake, but dont you think it took too long for you to notice?"
Hyeon took the papers one by one, putting them together neatly, as if he was having the most normal and mundane conversation.
As if he wasnt the one that sent you all of that letters.
As if he was not the one who broke into your apartment.
As if he didnt sent that severed head and hands to you..
"i guess i should expected that, after all, i'm never the one whom you'll ever have eyes for, am i?" he smiled bitterly.
"Hyeon.." you wanted to be proven wrong, you wanted to be wrong so bad.
you wanted to believe hyeon was not capable of this.
you wanted to believe him, your closest friend, would never do such thing.
instead, you received a hug that felt so cold.
you wanted to strangle hyeon so bad. you wanted to strangle yourself.
you just felt so weak.
as much as you wanted to avoid it, the clues were all right in front of you, mocking you.
there was no one in the world who had heard and appreciated your music, who observed and knew so much of your lifestyle and habits besides ivan.
when the puzzle started coming together, you could feel yourself falling apart.
"so y/n, please tell me:
what is your favourite love language?"
you just want to die.
[draft messages]
y/n:
thanks for taking me in
im glad i hv u in my lufe
you better not tell anyone i said this,
but i dont think theres anyone else i trust
anyone else more than you
thank you.
a/n: zzzzz goodnight (disappears)
#male reader#male yandere#bottom male reader#x male reader#iwanttosleeppeladw#sub male reader#mayi'swriting—
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An au where ignacio becomes Pump's stern but protective mentor after he found out that he's an arsonist like him
Ok so.
I actually got an ask before from a friend, where Pump and Ignacio got along (I never got to it tho. I'll try to get to it soon.)
But ever since then I just think this is. So perfect.
It made me so happy that. After a day of feeling "bleh", I spent all my time drawing these and now I'm tired JDKEJDJD
I'll get to the rest of the requests tmmr hopefully.
But this made me so happy. Fr. Might have to draw more of them.
Thanks anon.
#spooky month#spooky month sr pelo#sr pelo spooky month#spooky month pump#pump#ignacio spooky month#spooky month ignacio#ignacio#my art#ask#doodle reqs
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god this really is a fuckin double whammy of Ouch huh
#speculation nation#animal death ment/#going to pay rent bc end of the month yadda yadda whatever#their names r the ones on the addendums. even tho i Did message about sammy being switched to tally#legalities & what have you#but im just like. both of the cats i have on file are Dead. and now im just getting their names shoved in my face like this.#one of those things of the mundane reminders. over and over again. and i just gotta take it.#paying rent for a 2nd cat i no longer have lol#i'll. get a new cat. at some point soon.#ultimately this is just Bleh
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puff the world needs to know, are you working on any new servamp pieces or projects?? :3
I am, actually! Although it has been very slow progress because I'm no longer in school and there's nothing justify using art as a distraction anymore right now lmao.
I'm sorry I haven't been posting any art as much as I used to. I'm in that sort of "in-between" part of my life where im not in school and dont have a job yet so I'm rather bleh about doing anything rn 😭
However that doesnt mean i havent done anything at all!! Just a lot of unfinished stuff! Behold and thank you for asking!
(Context: These are some sketch designs for Mahiru and Inner Sloth for a human au of mine where Mahiru and Inner Sloth (Rowan) met and end up forming a legendary punk band bc Rowan was a punk and he met Mahiru in a time where he was most alone and susceptible to change thanks to it.)
I really like this one even tho im p sure im not gonna finish it rip
For this one, i wanted to make what's sort of like a game resting place for all of the pairs? I only ever got this far really but maybe i'll try again sometime!
and a sketch of an attempted merlisono comic lol
Im trying to work on a Halloween art as we speak to try and get myself out of my creative stump so we'll see how that goes. Thank you for asking and sorry for not posting a lot again
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also little (ok not so little. at all) personal thing as a way of mass–apologizing in advance to friends/moots for being slow with replies/not super interactive for a bit (possibly? always hard to predict) but pls god feel free to ignore this <3
i hate talking ab not–fun personal stuff on here (if it's not hidden deep in tags LOL), but i feel so so guilty for being so slow at replying to messages here/on discord and i would never want any friends to feel ignored or like i'm not enthusiastic to chat bc i genuinely have the most fun yapping together in the wota server and it's been such a joy making more friends here and getting closer with some ppl 🥺 it's just eating me up even tho ik i don't have to apologize/explain myself and i'd never hold it against someone else if the roles were flipped!! it's just to put my mind at ease so i can feel less guilt/pressure :')) and i am Uncomfortable talking about bleh emotions so it's easier to just plop it here and not have to explain myself one on one lmaoo tbf i may delete this in a few hrs bc just typing this up might give my brain some relief anyway and then i won't feel like this is necessary!
but sam lore the quick of it is i have # bipolar and i've been in an originally manic, then hypomanic episode essentially since around the time i started this account? it's the longest 'up' episode i've had but it's also the first one i've been off bp meds for so that might be why (long story dw i see my dr monthly <3 sorting life out rn) and i think starting stimulants back in may prolonged it a bit bc yk. meth LMAO but it finally petered off a few weeks ago and now i am entering the Big D (and not the fun kind) so some days i just do not have any energy for anything other than survival mode and when i'm suddenly super chatty or active, 99% of the time it's bc i just took my adhd meds and downed an iced coffee lmaoo genuinely so grateful i have those meds to keep me from fully sinking deep into a bad episode for now at least. so tldr; not trying to be antisocial or ignore anyone, just tryina truck thru :-)
i'm so thankful for all the cool ass friends i've met thru mota and i have been rly scared since i felt myself swinging to the other side of the bp spectrum last month bc i've been very up since i joined tumblr and i don't want a sudden change in vibes to be taken personally or for it to seem like i've lost interest in fandom!! i also get scared i'll just be dull and boring to friends now who have only known me while i'm manic which is understandable bc it's a big switch up but i think over text it shouldn't be as jarring bc yk i have time to think ab my words more and all. i am a little surprised actually that if anything, my motivation for writing has only intensified in the past month, but i think it's the first time i've had a healthy form of escapism in an episode and my brain has definitely latched onto it to get me thru that and a lot of shit stuff that's been happening irl this summer, so i'm unbelievably thankful that this fandom dragged me back into fic writing as hard as it did <3
but as sometimes happens with depression as i'm sure most of us have experienced, motivation/energy loss can hit even our biggest passions and i'm Terrified and hoping so very hard that it doesn't, but if fic updates do abruptly slow down as i ride this episode out, that's likely the reason. can't see myself losing interest in mota anytime soon but ik that if someone's usual writing pace suddenly slows down, ppl often jump to that conclusion (myself included lol) and i just want to make it clear i will Not be abandoning my fics and as of now, i'm still plowing ahead on all of them. AND THAT'S ALL FR BACK TO MY GOOGLE DOCS fuck do i think this is a journal?? jesus christ my bad
#johnslittlespoon yaps#tldr: writing good. bipolar bad. love/thankful for friends and me being less talkative is not a reflection our friendship <33#legit feel GROSS talking about anything personal (not the fun type of personal) but i wake up feeling guilty ab this every day#and then that can lead me to isolate/avoid + just not try to keep friendships going at all. so forcing myself to get this out of my system#ok that's all back to the good gay shit i have Drafts to post from my notes app lol i've just been too drained <3
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✨🌈🌮HEYYYYY GUYSSSSSSS🌮🌈✨
Hello guuysss sorry for not being here 4 awhile. Here's some updates on my life!
I'm finally a high school senior!! (its summer rn, my last day was may 24)
Also, I'm 17 now!!!!
im been gone bc um.. alot of really not so good stuff happened to me and im recovering rn. I may make a post abt tht later but that's all im saying rn!
But I refuse to let that get me down, so I'm still the happy silly guy yk!
Anyways recently I've gotten into Warrior Cats!!! ITS SOOO GOODDDdd
AND PICKING COLLEGES IS SO HARD!! I'm only 17 and next yr I'll be 18! Wdym I have to pick out the rest of my life???? Bleh america's weirddd :/
Also I got purple box braids!!
ALSOO I saw the new inside out!!! ITS SO GOODDDDD! My favs r Joy (literally me), Anxiety, and Envy!!!! The movie wss like rlly good I loved how the emotions r like more nuanced is tht makes sense! :3 Like how there is no actual villain, everyone is trying to help Riley get through her life! Btw, RILEY HAS A 4TOWN POSTER IN HER ROOM :O
I seriously wish tht they made more songs for 4*Town. Like cmon now sm ppl were begging Disney to make 4*Town a real band... Like yeah it would be hard but literally it would be so popular!! Can we pleaaass bring back boy bands and make girl bands just as popular??? And take away all the negativity in it and stuff?? Please kids my age had 1D around when we were nowhere old enough to go to their concerts and actually enjoy it!! PLEAAAASEEEE 😭
Oh yeha speaking abt One Direction, I have a super rare one direction bag!! My friend is a huge directioner and like she told me tht my bag is rlly old and u cant find it nowhere!!! >.< It has the guys when they were teenagers on it. My cousin gave me the bag when I was in 1st grade and I wasnt rlly into them then but I kept it tho. Fast foward to like a couple months ago and my Kirby bag breaks. My sister was cleaning out her room and she found it!! I was like "NO WAY! I GOTTA USE THIS NOWW!" bc like I <3 1D and I needed a new bag! Its rlly good and its like SOO CUTE
OO AND ALSO, are you guys gonna see the Pharell Williams lego movie? Tbh I think its a bit strange to make an entire movie abt urself but like the movie looks literally SO COOLLL AA!! IDK man i love movies with sparkles and creativity all over it. I'm not even a fan of his im just gonna wafch it to try to fill the void in my heart where the lego batman movie 2 and the lego movie 3 should be!!!
OK BYE FRFRRR HAVE A GREATTT NIGHT/DAY/EVENING!!! (we srsly need a word tht combines all of tht ;-;)
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#rawring 20s#scene revival#scenecore#scene kid#rawring twenties#cringe culture is dead#scene poc#black scene kid#scene queen#scene aesthetic#scene fashion#black scene queen#scene kid foreverrr#im back#RAWRRR#inside out 2#inside out joy#inside out anxiety#inside out envy#one direction#inside out embarrassment#pixar#inside out#rawr means i love you in dinosaur#box braids#alt poc#alt black girl#alternative#poc scene kid#superorganism
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Just read your post about the 100 subscriber, and wanted to congratulate you, so :
Congratulations!! 🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉
You totally deserve it and even more. Honestly I'm surprised not more people are subscribed smh
Anyway, seeing as this is a great opportunity to take a sneak peak, I will gladly take it lol
So, my question is, what happens next in your Steven x gotham crossover? And what where you thinking when you decide to merge something as dark and twisted with something also as dark and twisted but better well hidden than the other franchise?
Seriously I wanna open and dissect your brain and see what up with it (not complaining tho, your crossovers are always fun to read)
THANK YOU! ( ´ ▽ ` ) And oh, I haven't thought about that fic in a hot minute, haha. I kinda wanna re-write bits since I absolutely relied on fanon, unfortunately, bleh. But to answer ya, Steven ends up meeting Damian while looking for a new job! I'll put a excerpt down below :D
As for what I was thinking, the idea came to be suddenly, and I was so enraptured by it, I had to write myself. As for why it's so compelling to me: Steven, unlike, characters like Danny from DP, or Spider-Man for crossovers, does not fit in Gotham's world. The others make sense. They fit the mold of vigilante, secret identities, a specific flavor of hero angst, perils from villains, etc, which is why it's so easy to imagine them there. They can adapt easily. They make sense. They fit Gotham's ecosystem, they're vigilantes.
But Steven? He's like a bright pink canon ball of chaos to me. He's a hero, but not seen in the same way the others are, he doesn't hide his identity because everyone knows who he is, and he has to escape his own own narrow expectations of who he's supposed to be. His villains aren't just familiar strangers, but directly impacted by Diamonds, if not Diamonds themselves at one point. His hero-like angst comes from responsibility, a desire to help, but he gets to retire, he has to, for his own sanity.
There's still horror, angst, gut punches, peril, etc, but it's shaped so differently, that putting someone like Steven in to the Gotham ecosystem has to disrupt it, and how that can happen fascinates me deeply. It's still a character adapting to Gotham, but also Gotham adapting to him, or at least, if I got that far. He doesn't quite fit the mold of teenage vigilante, like the others do, and thus what to do with him and think of him (via heroes, villains, civilians), and what he'll do is a delightful to think about. But he's still strange enough that it isn't outrageous to consider, because Gotham is strange, it has to be by nature. It can't go like how crossovers tend to go, which is exactly what I wanted, or tried to attempt.
Sliding over closer, carefully still, Damian lets his hand waver around the lion's nose, letting the creature sniff it if need be, to which it simply blinks, expectantly.
Damian swallows, and gently, lets his fingers brush the lion’s mane. It’s so soft. He can’t help but coo, quietly, brushing as much as it allows. He curses, he wishes he hadn’t broken his arm, otherwise he could be petting it with both of his hands, as he should’ve been destined to do.
Foolishly, too overcome by the beauty of the lion he forgets his troubles, Damian clenching his fist tight, an ache spikes right back in retaliation, making him hiss and wince. He freezes, instinctively, over displaying such an open weakness before a stranger. Then again, there is nothing particularly frightening about him. Other than Damian’s usual, reasonable sense of wary paranoia, and ignoring his basis for the big cat, this teen reeks of tourist obliviousness fitting for Metropolis and potentially damning for one existing in Gotham. The teenager, the stranger with the Lion, doesn’t seem dangerous, either. Or capable of it, really. He’s disgustingly friendly. Unless-
The teenager’s eyes linger over to Damian’s cast, interrupting Damian’s paranoid spiral. “Oh, your arm! Is it broken? Do you, um, do you want me to fix that? Your arm? I can?”
The older teenager points at Damian’s cast, his head tilted ever so slightly, and when the light catches, the wind brushing back the leaves to spotlight his eyes, his black pupils seem almost cat-like for a second, a shaded pink hue embedded within them, distinctly in the shape of diamonds.
Alien, Damian almost breathes. He’s gotta be an alien. Either that or a meta. Or, a heavy magic user to be shaped so subtly by his own magic, or to be so thoroughly warped by some sort of artifact. Damian stares at him, and decides sporadically, if just for the sake of seeing where this goes, and silently remarking if this is a kidnapping scheme, he’s knocking this guy unconscious and stealing his lion, nods. Better yet, if he’s a criminal, he has stumbled upon a tidy excuse to show how greatly he can perform in spite of such an injury.
“You may assist.”
The teenager does not whisper some ancient, ritual spell, nor does he transfer his hands upon Damian’s cast, murmuring words beyond human comprehension. Seamlessly, the teeenager licks his finger, and pokes Damian in the arm, pressing gently, before looking at him expectantly.
The man’s a lunatic, Damian swiftly decides.
And like any normal, rational being with any functioning brain matter, he quickly calculates how many steps to take in order to dropkick this fiend into the dirt, without dirtying his clothes, and thus capturing Father’s suspicion. Cannot get caught doing any labor, less his family notices, and decides to stick with him something as stupid as a babysitter of some sort. Though, this weirdness probably would be justifiable for perhaps body slamming him into the ground and snapping his fingers.Just as Damian shifts back, something happens.
His arm glitters.
Light wraps around it, glowing softly beneath the cast, a fluttery, spiral of pink drifting into the air, warmth tingling his bones until he flexes his arm, bracing for the harsh spike of pain, but none comes. There’s no soreness, no exhaustion, no nothing. The light fades, and jut like that: his arm is fixed. It feels fine. It feels normal. It doesn’t even ache.
He pauses. His mind whirs.
Damian stares at the (possibly insane, or socially oblivious, yet strangely, perhaps, genuinely friendly) alien, (or meta, or magic, to be determined) boy and his majestic pink lion. He flexes his arm again. Wiggles it. Tense it. Hits it. No pain, no numbing sensation, or strange marks that he can see. The tingling ache lingering along his bones have faded away. Forgotten. Gone.
“You healed me,” Damian murmured in awe.
He’s-he’s back on patrol now, he could storm right back into the Manor and prove just how capable he truly is, march right up to Father and show everyone, even that miserable, disrespectful heathen Drake and-
But, Father would be suspicious. This was no doubt something mystical, or magical, or meta adjacent, and then what intentions, what side effects, what tests and pokes and prods would Damian have to endure to prove this is to be trusted to be back on the field?That Damian could be back in his spot, where he belonged, immediately?
#asks#tysm for asking !! i forgot about this fic haha!#my writing#my fics#hope ya enjoyed the snippet#on reflect i think i wrote damian okay but i DEF wanna correct tim's characterization the most ugh#but again this was delightful to discuss
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Hey frens <3 since this is my more popular account I guess, wanted to swing by with a lil life update ~
Work's really been crazy and even tho I'm taking the summer off grad school, there's sm going on this season that idk when I'll get back around to writing tbh! Every few minutes of freedom, I'm off relaxing away from the computer screens that I stare at all day for work so bleh. BUT! I'm looking into getting a place of my own. It won't be for a while, like perhaps a year or more - which means more craziness! However, I hope once I find my own kinda space, I'm hoping to find more freedom and motivation to write again <3
Thank y'all for all the notes and follows. Even though I'm not always active any more, I still check my accounts and send all my love 😍 hope to have more stories for y'all asap!
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Okay so just some thoughts about the Ben interview @ghiertor-the-gigapeen
~Bonjur returns! :DD
~ This is after Mark's death and you can hear hurt he is :(((
~Talks about sitting around and twiddling his thumbs, feeling lost without orders/ a command
~comes from a long line of servants
~Arrested for public nudity in Uni sdkhgdg (FRAT INITIATION OFC)
~Parents are from England
~MARK WAS ALSO ARRESTED IN THE FOR NUDITY OFC BUT WAS IN BUTLER SCHOOL TOO?? WHAT? HIM, A BUTLER??
~AWWW MARK AND HIM MET WHEN BEN TOOK THE ARREST FOR MARKS STREAKING BRRRO TWT
~Ben dresses Mark when he passes out drunk(oh Ben sweetie)
~DOES COCaine ksdvHbjk
~ 3 wishes would be Mark doesn't die, everyone in the world gets their own butler, and everything to be clean all the time(so true bestie)
~ It's like anytime he brings up Mark he's moments away from crying like you can't tell me he doesn't care about him :(((
~Doesn't like Chef like everyone else xD
~MARK WAS AT THE MASTER HARVARD AND BEN WAS AT THE HARVARD SERVANT SCHOOL APPARENTLY??
~Mastertude school is prooobably to make sure people don't get overpaid =-= (i'd bet partying and gossiping too tho!!)
~Most difficult task was when Mark filled a tub with hot coco(bleh) and he had to clean it up(christ)
~Ben wouldn't clean Mark up, he made him clean up himself (so surprisingly, mark can do that but I'm sure he'd prefer not to liek the little bitch eh is dskhbgsdb)
~Mark sucked at cleaning himself SMHHHH
~BEN THINKS OF MARK AS A GOOD FRIEND WAAHHHTOT
~MARK THANKED HIM, SHARED DRINKS WITH HIM, AND ALLOWED HIM TO JOIN IN ON PARTIES? AWWW Mark really did care i think ,,QwQ,, (at least, that's the most we've ever heard of such a thing happening)
~Mark hired him right out of Uni
~No medical issues related to WKM Except that murder is a triggering subject for him
~WILL BROKE THE VASE IN THE WINE CELLAR WHILE DRUNK AND ANGRRY
~DAMN HE DOESN'T LIKE WILLIAM? SAYS HE "WAS ALWAYS AN ISSUE"? OOF THEY DIDN'T GET ALONG I GUESS?? GEEZ FINDS HIM OUTLNADISH DSksgb
~ William owed Mark a LOT of money, Ben saying it's like a life debt's worth
~DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT THE WINE IN THE CELLAR BUT CALLED THEM A MONSTER AND BLAMES THEM FOR KILLING MARK SDGLHGGJL(He's more right and wrong than he knows)
~was drinking with Mark before the night of the party
~Lives in the mansion and is working 24/7 =-=
~That wine was an 1810 Chardonnay
~OOOH MARK LEFT BEN HSI MANSION ANS FUNDS IN HSI WILLLLLL QOQ..
~But another part of the will was to check up on William every few months and man he doesn't liek doing that :((
~doesn't like Will's denial of the dying(it's just not right), doesn't trust him, but also doesn't believe he killed Mark
~Fell into a depression once Mark left and still is but is trying to go out again nearly a year since then :((
~Had Ben wear gloves the last few months before the party while everything was going down. Didn't want help, to be touched, to be seen, nothing. Ben called it all weird
~enjoys jogs cause it remind him of a happy memory :)
~Ben born in 1891!!!
~Graduated school in 96
~So five years of butlering
~Graduated top of class, known as the "greatest butler of history" in butler magazine.
~Likes beer and occasional scotch :)
~Always wanted to be known as the best servant hat every lived, that people would bid for him to be theirs (BUDDY YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER THOOO)
~WAHHHH BEN JUST WANTS TO BE A FRIEND TOO TO ANY OF HIS MASTERS ;-;
~DAMN HE STRAIGHT UP SAID I'M SO GOOD A OF A BUTLER I'LL MAKE YOU A BETTER PERSOOON (Wonder if he thought of Mark like that too :.)
~CERTIFIED PET GROOOMER WOOOOO
~Loves and is loved by animals :)
~Only experience with supernatural is night with Celine and he still doesn't understand what happened to her :((
~He has mourned for Celine, describes her as a kind woman, as has missed her since the divorce...
~Has a hard time finding time for himself :((
~THE ONLY BELONGINGS HE HAS IS HIS UNIFORM??
~Mark really cared about status, being the best, a lot of stairs
~Doesn't like dirt hjgjj
~No opportunities to make friends cause of work(no wonder he likes Mark and Celine so much. He probably saw them most. Wonder bout dames tho!!)
~poor man starts his work day at 4 am
~BUTLER BALL CANON(But wants to run romantic partners by master)
~SAID THE BLACK BUTLER LINE
~Bad press after Mark's death lowered his approval rating amongst butler alumni :( ~wants a private quarter that only he uses
~Likes hanging out the DA :DD
~Believes the Detective's background checks out but finds him odd
~He doesn't take days off? BRO ;-; HE JUST WANTS TO BE DISTRACTED
~CRIES HE CALLS US BEACONS OF HOPE??? ;-;
~Celine and Mark attached at the hips since childhood?(HOLY SHIT THEY WERE FRIENDS TO LOVERS TOO??)
~Has no idea why Celine left Mark
~GEEZ HE'S SAYING GROUNDSKEEPING IS BELOW A BUTLER WOOF
~ Speaks English, German, spanish, and french(but only a little)
~Not allowed to get sick?? does not get sick? Calls in replacements??
~4th of July fireworks run at the last minute! Mark was apologetic and gave him a bonus? They just shot the breeze with fireworks together?AWW THAT'S SO SWEET
~Mark treated the Chef with kindness and respect(DOUBTFUL KJGJBGSD)
~Mark and Dames are close friends and also used each other to look good socially
~Had secrets about one another that he couldn't speak of? (SOUNDS PRETTY FRUITY??)
~Really enjoys Damian's company :)
#cicisays#wkm ben interview thoughts huh??#i wish every character had been interviwed tbh#could've got more thoughst for pre or post! WKM and that would be SO COOL#WAHHHH#BENJAMIN BELOVED#I'M SOS OSRRY YOU DON'T DESERVE RTO BE CAUGHT UP IN ALL OF THIS#At your Service#OMG I'M SPOILING THE SHIT OUT OF BEN#ANYTIME I CAN I'LL BUY HIM TRINKETS AND THINGS#MARK WTFFF#Part of your Play#might as well throw Mark's tag in here since he's relevant#<33
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Omelette faerie spoilers below:
it's a bit of a shame that they picked an author who has so very clearly never written for comics before. The plot itself is solid and I like it very much. But it's not told effectively for the format. A comic page can fit so much more information in it. More panels even. I've seen 30 page comics tell huge stories in their short length because they have an author skilled at specifically writing for comics at the head. Id be interested to see some of the script and if Rebecca mix actually defined the page layout or if it was left to heather burns to figure out. It's a bit of a shame because with some more fine tuning I think it could have been fantastic. The art is serviceable. I wonder what the budget was. But I think the bits that genuinely spoke about the profound effect the war had on tyrannia and the famine and starvation was very effective and the tone appropriate for the story. I would have liked to see a bit more of it though, with better paneling, to really help with filling out characterization. Show some more of kyruggi and sabre-x's relationship during the war. Make it really feel like these are old folks trying to create a softer world for the next generation. I really like that vibe and I wish it was more hammered in.
Bonus points for femslash, double points for having an on page I love you.
Also, what the hell fyora. Why did we have to make her seem so mean for the plot to work lol could they not have made it something else? What's up with that. She stole a faerie paint brush and then wasn't even given an opportunity to explain herself? Hell, marina didn't even ask her gf why she did that? Hell, why even DO what the dark faerie asked? I don't see why she HAD to. Could she not buy one? They're not THAT expensive. She lived in faerie city, surely she could get her hands on a faerie pb. That's just sloppy IMHO it's not good motivation. She needed to have done something much worse seeming and a good reason why no one would listen to or believe her. And also to have done the bad thing in the first place. Like the dark faerie says steal this or I'll hurt your gf. But like. Couldn't she just tell fyora this random dark faerie was threatening her? Get HER banished instead?? I don't get it. It seriously mischaracterizes fyora really unfairly. Bleh
Sabre-x is perfect tho.
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