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btsuga-d · 4 months
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Can You See Me || Chapter II ʚɞ
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↬ ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ
𝚂𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚘𝚢𝚜, 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝚜𝚎𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚝. 𝙸𝚜𝚎𝚞𝚕'𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚜 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚎𝚜 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚍𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚊𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖, 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚜𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚍, 𝚜𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚎𝚎𝚙𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚜𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚊𝚕𝚕. 𝙴𝚊𝚌𝚑 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚊 𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚞𝚖𝚞𝚕𝚝𝚞𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚙𝚊𝚜𝚝, 𝚊 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚞𝚖𝚊 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎. 𝚆𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝙸𝚜𝚎𝚞𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 𝚊𝚕𝚕, 𝚘𝚛 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚎𝚗𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚒𝚛 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚜?
↬ ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ
𝙳𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝙼𝚒𝚗 𝚈𝚘𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚒 𝚡 𝙱𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝙾𝙲!𝙻𝚎𝚎 𝙸𝚜𝚎𝚞𝚕
↬ ᴛʀᴀɪʟᴇʀ
➤ 𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚔
↬ ɢᴇɴʀᴇ
𝙼𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎, 𝙳𝚊𝚛𝚔, 𝙰𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝, 𝙼𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚝, 𝙿𝚜𝚢𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚕, 𝚁𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎, 𝚂𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚕, 𝙷𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚘𝚛, 𝙸𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎, 𝙰𝚄, 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚊 𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚝𝚊𝚕, 𝙺𝚒𝚖 𝚂𝚎𝚘𝚔𝚓𝚒𝚗!𝙳𝚘𝚌𝚝𝚘𝚛, 𝙼𝚒𝚗 𝚈𝚘𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚒!𝙿𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚝, 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝙹𝚒𝚖𝚒𝚗!𝙿𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚝, 𝙺𝚒𝚖 𝚃𝚊𝚎𝚑𝚢𝚞𝚗𝚐!𝙿𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚝, 𝙹𝚎𝚘𝚗 𝙹𝚞𝚗𝚐𝚔𝚘𝚘𝚔!𝙿𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚝, 𝙹𝚞𝚗𝚐 𝙷𝚘𝚜𝚎𝚘𝚔!𝙿𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚝, 𝙺𝚒𝚖 𝙽𝚊𝚖𝚓𝚘𝚘𝚗!𝙿𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚝
↬ ᴡᴏʀᴅᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ
3.3𝚔
↬ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ
𝚜𝚞𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚖𝚙𝚝, 𝚋𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝚙𝚑𝚢𝚜𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚕 𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚕𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎, 𝚜𝚞𝚏𝚏𝚘𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗, 𝚋𝚊𝚍 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜, 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚐𝚊𝚜𝚘𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚎
↬ ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ'ꜱ ɴᴏᴛᴇ
𝙷𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚘 🌸 𝙷𝚎𝚛𝚎'𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚍 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝙲𝚈𝚂𝙼. 𝚆𝚎'𝚛𝚎 𝚍𝚎𝚕𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚈𝚘𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚒'𝚜 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎. 𝙿𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚞𝚜𝚒𝚌 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛. 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚘𝚘𝚗, 𝚜𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚍𝚎𝚕𝚟𝚎 𝚍𝚎𝚎𝚙𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚑 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚒𝚛 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚜. 𝙸'𝚖 𝚊𝚕𝚜𝚘 𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚛 𝙸 𝚖𝚊𝚍𝚎. 𝚂𝚎𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚘𝚘𝚗.
↬ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ ʟɪꜱᴛ - 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘰𝘰𝘯
ᴍɪɴ ʏᴏᴏɴɢɪ ʟᴇᴇ ɪꜱᴇᴜʟ ᴋɪᴍ ꜱᴇᴏᴋᴊɪɴ ᴋɪᴍ ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ ᴊᴜɴɢ ʜᴏꜱᴇᴏᴋ ᴘᴀʀᴋ ᴊɪᴍɪɴ ᴋɪᴍ ᴛᴀᴇʜʏᴜɴɢ ᴊᴇᴏɴ ᴊᴜɴɢᴋᴏᴏᴋ
↬ ɴᴀᴠɪɢᴀᴛɪᴏɴ
ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ɪ - ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ʟɪꜱᴛ - ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ɪɪɪ
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June 9, 2018
I pressed the elevator button with all the force contained in my index finger. I pressed it several times, just to make sure it got the message. The red number at the top marked that it was coming from the fourth floor. I tapped one foot noisily against the ground, trying to relax the nerves that were gripping my stomach. That wait was nerve-wracking.
My heart was pounding. What was I going to do if it was really him? What would I have done if I lifted that sheet and saw – no. I couldn’t even think about it. I pressed my head against the wall, my finger still pressed on the elevator button.
A ding and the doors swung open. I looked up and lost myself in two brown puddles, as deep as the ocean itself. A rather tall boy with brown hair slightly long at the back of his neck stared at me as if he wanted to pierce me through and through. Some wisps fell back in front of his eyes, making his appearance even more disturbing
I read pain in his eyes, a suffering that I could not have explained in words. I looked down and noticed that he had both forearms wrapped in gauze. His square face was clean, but he kept his mouth slightly slanted, his eyes fixed in mine. I found it impressive that he had not yet blinked. Like a predator stalking his prey.
Our exchange of glances lasted a few seconds, until the nurse who was accompanying him made her gaze wander from me to him.
"Do you know her?" she asked him.
The dark-haired shook his head, uttering a simple, deep "No." Then he added, still keeping his eyes on me, "And I certainly don't want to know her." His rough voice sent shivers down my spine. He passed me, brushing my shoulder with his arm. The nurse followed soon after and bowed her head slightly toward me, apologizing for her patient's brusque manner.
I didn't turn around to see where they were headed. Surely, I had more important things to think about. At that moment I wasn’t interested in the rudeness of a stupid little boy, even though he must have been about my age.
I slipped into the elevator and pressed the button with the number -1 on it. The doors closed and I saw the light fade. I wrapped my arms around my body as I felt the elevator begin to move downward. The darkness and the noise of the descent made me even more anxious. The cabin trembled slightly before stopping on the top floor and opening the doors wide.
I stood before a very long white corridor. The light was so bright that I had to close my eyes slightly to let them adjust again. I took one step, then another and another until I saw the “morgue” sign at the top of one of the doors. I reached out my hand, resting it on the handle. And I froze.
I didn’t have the courage. I was literally shivering. And not from the coldness typical of morgues.
I pulled back as if I had just burned myself, continuing to stare at the spotless wooden surface. On the other side of that door could be the answers I had been waiting for an entire year. Or at least some of them. I looked up again, but my hand had no intention of lowering that doorknob. I turned around, frustrated, and squatted on the ground holding my knees.
I was afraid of myself. Of how I would react. Finding out the truth was worse than believing the lie I had constructed for myself. The hope that my father was alive… That was the only thing that allowed me to keep fighting. That was all I had left. What was I going to do if it shattered? How could I be sure that I would not shatter as well? That was what I was afraid of. That I would never be the same again. That I would become my own shadow. That day, my life might have changed.
Maybe I would have done better to wait for someone to arrive. I wasn't sure I could stay there without a competent attendant. The girl at the front desk had told me she would send someone, but I had run off even before she could finish her sentence. Maybe, with someone by my side, I would regain my courage and be able to cross that threshold. All I had to do was wait.
But suddenly, out of nowhere, the notes of a piano resounded.
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I lifted my head and turned my gaze toward the end of the hallway. A series of notes was pressed on the keys of a piano, spreading a slow, soothing melody. Between notes, there were moments of silence that accentuated the already gloomy atmosphere due to the rain and thunder. A flash of lightning lit up the sky and I stood up, walking the short distance to the brown door at the end of the hall. The melody continued to proceed in stages, almost as if it was adjusting to the advance of my steps toward the door.
I took a quick glance at the dusty sign placed on one side. Chapel. See a small church next to the morgue was nothing exceptional, but find someone inside was quite unusual. I pushed open the door to reveal two slender shoulders wiggling following the movements of his arms along the piano keys. He had very blond hair and wore a shirt that was white and neat, and above all, loose. So wide that the hem of the sleeves grazed his knuckles. A pair of beige pants wrapped his skinny legs, and on his feet he wore white tennis shoes.
I did not enter the little church, but decided to stay on the threshold. To observe it. The piano was an old brown model belonging to the French brand boisselot fils. It looked really old, but that guy had the ability to make the listener believe that the sound was coming out of a grand piano. I watched him until something changed in his playing. Now his fingers had picked up speed and moved from key to key with extreme elegance, brushing over them as if they were made of porcelain. I could not see his face, but I was convinced that his eyes were closed.
Then the melody slowed down again, until it returned to the series of notes from the beginning, always interspersed with a moment of silence, but one tone lower than the initial ones. He seemed to be reflecting. He was organizing his thoughts, asking himself questions, but unable to find an answer. The questions continued, but his frustration grew as the melody increased and grew louder.
I am angry. I am furious at the world, at those who made me suffer. I fought to the last, but my tenacity was not enough. I just want someone to listen to me, to hear my words full of anger and fear. Because I am afraid of being alone. Because I am afraid of falling into the void and never surfacing again. I am afraid of becoming someone I am not. Looking in the mirror and not recognizing my reflection. I am afraid of myself.
That was what his music was telling me. The thoughts were flowing as if he was directly opening his mouth to speak to me. It had never happened to me before, but his emotions ran over me like a flooding river. I stood in the doorway as my eyes automatically filled with tears. They began to stream down my face without my realizing it.
I could understand his pain. It was identical to mine. I could feel in him my own fears, my own worries. I could tell by the gentle touch that had been replaced with a firmer, more powerful one. Skinny shoulders wiggled under his white shirt; one foot pressed on the pedal while the other went in rhythm with the tune. His fingers began to slide from one side of the piano to the other with frightening coordination and speed, making the muscles under his semi-transparent shirt tense. His anger was rising, as well as the tone of the melody. By now he was at the mercy of his emotions.
I watched as he lowered his head slightly and saw gold earrings jingle from the purposeful movement of his arms. He almost seemed to be holding his breath, choking in his own anguish. I wanted to save him, to pull him out of that raging river and tell him everything would be all right.
I got chills when the music increased again, accompanied by the sound of rain and thunder that ripped through the sky. It was freezing in that room, but I saw drops of sweat that began to trickle down his temple, caressing the soft shape of his chin.
His anger exploded all at once and he stopped suddenly, keeping his fingers resting on the final chord. Then, as if he had left something unfinished, he resumed playing again. The bluish veins stood out on his white hands from the exertion. The rhythm had faded again and he returned to stroking the keys, but this time there was a bitter note in every note he touched. As if his inner debate had ended and failed. The result was still the same. Nothing had changed. His anger was still there, his hatred was still eating at him.
He lifted his hands from the keyboard, almost as if he wanted to leave the melody hanging. A sigh escaped his lips. He lifted one arm against the piano and rested his head on it, letting his damp blond hair brush against his wrist. He was out of breath, as if he had just run a marathon. Through his shirt, I could see his lean shoulders rising and falling.
Then, suddenly, he did a strange thing.
He stood up and picked up the can of gasoline that had always been beside the piano, but which I had not noticed since I had been too focused on him. He opened it with a single wave of his hand and began to pour the clear liquid on the piano. He filled its keys, wetting the wooden surface as well. Then, to my amazement, he began to slide it down his neck and onto his shirt, which immediately became transparent. It looked like he was showering himself with gasoline. I had never seen anything more disturbing in my entire life.
My heart lost a beat when he reached out to grab the small white lighter on the piano. He held it tightly between his fingers and brushed the movable top of it with his thumb. I still couldn’t see his face because his back was to me, but I was sure his expression said nothing good.
“Yah!” I squealed as I entered the room.
The boy turned sharply when he heard my shout, still holding the lighter up. I instinctively stepped back when I met his eyes. The frightened ones of the guy I had seen on the second floor? Or the deep, terrifying ones of the guy in the elevator? They were nothing compared to those who were looking at me at that moment.
Another flash of lightning lit up the sky and I could distinctly see those dark slits, outlined in black. Those thin yet so expressive eyes made me doubt that they were real. There could be no such intense, deep, menacing gaze. It was humanly impossible. He stood motionless watching me as he scanned my face, the lighter still in his hands.
I tried to reason with him; it was the only approach I could attempt.
“Please, put it down,” I pleaded him, pointing to the lighter in his hand. The guy didn’t flinch. He kept looking at my face as if his life depended on it. Only then did I realize that my cheeks were still wet from the tears from earlier. “Talk to me, will you? I don’t know you, but your playing really moved me. I-I am willing to listen to you, if you want.”
On his face appeared one of the most chilling grins I had ever seen. He finally lowered the hand that held the lighter, but he began to move slowly toward me. Reflexively, I stepped back. His steps were slow, heavy. He was not very tall, but because of that, beyond all logic, his figure seemed even more menacing. I stepped back until I realized that he had begun to increase his pace to catch up with me. Frightened by the hostile aura he emanated, I turned my back on him and began to run toward the open door.
I didn’t have time to cross the threshold that I saw a pale, thin arm go over my shoulder and close the door in my face. I dared not turn around, aware that I was trapped between his body and the door he was holding locked with the palm of his hand. I felt his warm breath on my neck and a shiver ran down my spine, right where his chest and my back had made contact.
“Turn around.” The tone was so low that I could barely make out what he had said. His voice was even lower and hoarser than the boy in the elevator. A chill caught me when in turning around I brushed against the arm he was holding up. “Look at me,” he ordered again since I was keeping my eyes down. In doing so, I couldn’t help but notice his completely soaked white shirt. The intense smell of gasoline bothered my nose and made my eyes tingle, but I continued my ascent to his face, meeting first his snow-white neck, then his thin lips and finally his dark, deadly eyes. I immediately lowered mine, unable to sustain his gaze. I swallowed.
He moved even closer to my face, forcing me to press my back against the door. To my surprise, he grabbed my chin and forced me to look him straight in the eyes. I aimed my gaze into his brown irises and saw something snap in them. His eyebrows furrowed even more and he gritted his teeth until he let go of my chin with a snap. The hand that had just released me from his grip closed around my neck again, leaving me no chance to breathe.
I opened my eyes wide, terrified. I clawed at his hand with my fingernails, but my efforts proved utterly futile. His grip grew stronger with each passing second, and his eyes thinned until they almost disappeared. I gasped for air as his face moved closer and closer to mine. Our noses brushed against each other, and I could tell from his satisfied grin how much pleasure he was getting from this situation.
I realized that I had stumbled upon a bloody psychopath.
Almost at the limit of my oxygen supply, I made one last desperate attempt. I pulled my leg back and kicked it forward with all the force I had in my body. I hit him right in that sensitive spot, forcing him to let go and kneel down. I immediately turned to open the door, but my luck could not last that long.
I felt myself being grabbed by my hair, and a second later I felt a stabbing pain in my head. He had slammed me against the piano. My counteroffensive had only ended up infuriating him more. I could tell just by looking at his face. He was livid with rage. Still dazed from the blow from earlier, I saw the room whirling. Because of this I didn't understand what he was doing until I felt him towering over me. Sitting astride my legs, he grabbed me by the collar of my blouse and yanked me forward, forcing me to arch my back.
I was not even in time to realize the situation that I felt something wet hit my face, immediately feeling a deep burning sensation in both eyes. The pain was so bad that I could not help but cry out. A pungent smell of gasoline was occluding my nostrils, and I felt a bittersweet taste in my mouth. My head felt completely wet and I immediately felt nauseous. I tried to open my eyes, but when I did, my vision became completely blurred and I could only catch a glimpse of my attacker’s brown irises injected with blood and evil.
I squinted my eyelids, continuing to scream in pain. My eyes burned, I was short of oxygen and my head ached so badly. I felt the guy’s white hands tighten around my throat again, but this time I had no intention of fighting back. I was exhausted, both mentally and physically. If he wanted to kill me that badly, I was going to let him do it.
Then, I heard the door open wide.
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“Holy shit… Yoongi!” I shouted, throwing myself at the boy’s figure. I grabbed him by the shoulders and tried to grab the lighter he was holding. Once again, he had tried to set himself on fire. But this time he was not alone. She was there. The girl I had seen in front of the reception desk who had brought back so many memories. “Yoongi… Yoongi, damn it, let her go!” I shouted again, pinning his arms down and yanking him to pull his hand away from the girl’s throat. Jungsun immediately came to my aid, grabbing him by the neck and pulling him backward.
Yoongi may have appeared weak, but his willpower should not be underestimated.
I sensed an intense smell of gasoline, and once I retrieved the lighter, I threw it into the hallway for safety.  Then I went back to dealing with my companion, who seemed to have completely lost control of his emotions.
“We need to sedate him, I’ll go get a syringe,” Jungsun suggested, but we didn’t have enough time. I had to think of something else.
“Yoongi… Yoongi, look at me. Look at me!” I let him go and stood in front of him, covering his view. But his attention was still on the girl lying behind me. He looked possessed; I had never seen him in that state. “SUGA!”
Finally, Yoongi froze, as if he had just awakened from a trance-like state. He fixed his eyes in mine and looked at me bewildered. I sighed heavily. It was amazing that he responded so easily to that name and not to his own. He was completely misguided. I walked over to him and hugged him tightly to stop his shoulders from shaking. He covered his face with his hands, massaging his eyelids heavily. Then he ran his trembling fingers through his damp, sticky hair.
Once I was sure he had finally calmed down, I turned to the girl behind me. She had a wound on the back of her head and was bleeding. I checked her pulse and opened her eyes to take a look at her pupils with a small flashlight given to me by Jungsun. I froze suddenly, checking a second time as a precaution. Damn.
I turned my head to meet Jungsun’s questioning eyes. I cast a glance at Yoongi who was still sitting on the ground with his hands clawed into his blond hair. He was breathing heavily but seemed stable. I went back to look at the girl who had started moving again. I helped her sit up and brought my face closer to hers, noticing that she was keeping her eyes closed.
“Miss,” I said in a whisper. “Open your eyes. Can you see me?”
The brunette remained motionless for a few moments, then, with a tremendous effort, lifted her eyelids. She blinked them once or twice, until she lifted her chin slightly in my direction. She looked at me, but without really paying me any attention. She parted her lips.
“I can’t.”
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© 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝. || 𝐔𝐧𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐞𝐝 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝/𝐨𝐫 𝐝𝐮𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬, 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦, 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐡𝐢𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝 || ⚜ 𝐁𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐚_𝐃 ⚜
© 𝐁𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 ❋ 𝓐. 𝓜𝓪𝓵𝓯𝓸𝔂𝓩𝓪𝓫𝓲𝓷𝓲 ❋. 𝐂𝐨𝐩𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐡𝐢𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝.
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slyscoutess · 5 months
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paring: sebastian vettel x fem!singer!reader summary: pilots should learn not to comment on their favorite artists . . . or maybe this is their tactic to get what they want writer: the oldest thing in my drafts, it clearly had to be my first passion in formula 1, one of the reasons I liked watching it, listening to Florence + The Machine, I just wanted to leave my love for sebs on record
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yourusername I came for the pleasure, but I stay for the pain . . . New album DANCE FEVER. Out April 19 💙
store.yourname.com
📷: alvarezcamila
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yournameupdate MOTHER IS BACK!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL
ynlnthinker EVERYBODY AND THEIR CHILD FREAKING RIGHT NOW
ynlnandthesiix not her coming back after years with new music and pretending to be normal
vettelchild somebody please check on sebs, i think the man is dead right about now
leclerccough just saw sebastian vettel himself in the likes, she posted it like 2 min ago???
patitowifey father is a hardcore fan just like us fr carlandomind I didn't even know he had Instagram??? pastryf2piastri pretty sure is a fanpage, there is nothing published yet
yournamecuunt Rumors of her divorce emerged in 2020 and she disappeared from the map and now appears with an album out of nowhere
andthesixburner queen behaviour???
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lovingwags New wag in the paddock?
seen at the Australian GP with some friends and members of the band that makes up her shows and team, yn ln was present at the Australian GP, ​​we cannot confirm which garage she was in, but I think we all have a certain hope of one in specific ( Sebastian please makes us proud
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strollmothering That one blueyfever on twitter beign right all along
blueyfever OF COURSE I FCKING WAS formulaonfacts CAN'T FREAKING BELIEVE IT
ynthinker SCREAMING, CRYING AND THROWING UUUP
minivettel5 This woman is a freaking goddess
vettelhamm Sebastian must be just killing himself right about now
33tororoso Do we, Sebastian Vettel's children, finally have a mother?
maziemillian Isn't he like . . . married? blueyfever yeah! to her!!!! formulaonfacts okay grandma let's get you back to bed
whatamaxemmil I can't wait for blueyfever to be right
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yourusername for years and years the words you didn't let me write suffocated me, the art you never let me see blinded me, the places you left me humiliated me, but finally my Graceland gained a different meaning and I'm no longer stuck in the bathroom with the same headache, everything you wanted from me didn't belong to you and I finally found someone who would give me the pen and not cut out my tongue, all my love, my affection, my future and my choices belong to him.
Because of him I have Dance Fever every night.
DANCE FEVER is yours to listen now.
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yournameupdate OMG IS THAT????
ynlnthinker THAT IS SEBASTIAN VETTEL HIMSELF
vettelmemes OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
vettelchild WHAT DOES THIS MEAAAAAAN
formulaonfacts BLUEY WAS RIGHT WT???
lecfosi BLUEY THE OLDER WISER SIBLING charles_leclerc no? that would be me maxverstappen1 you are neither charles_leclerc I am her favorite lance_stroll keep dreaming
yournamecuunt the grid competing more for her mother's love than for the world championship
georgerussell63 You haven't seen them in person.
sebastianvettel posted a new video.
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yourusername It's been three years and a pandemic of an intense creative process, four years of silently recording every movement of my life until dance fever came to me and was finally delivered to you, four years surrounded by incredible people, and as a thank you for me Wait patiently over the last four years, I'll be sharing a little of what I've been going through.
the Dance Fever bts is now on YouTube, I'm sorry for the length, it's been four years of recording.
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charles_leclerc it's 2 in the mornig
yourusername and why aren't you sleeping, pretty sure already put you in bed?
maxverstappen1 I just stopped my sim race to watch something I basically live? yeah
vettelchild my god the amount of content from yn and sebastian, now I have diabetes and i'm still at 2019, they weren't even dating
lecsainzfosi wait . . . WHAT?
lance_stroll I will assume you got to 2020 and 2021 charles_leclerc often sleep on the sofa in their house during these landonorris you and practically everyone on the grid, even Lewlew charles_leclerc yeah but i am her favorite lance_stroll still on this?
yournamecuunt Now that you are intertwined in the world of F1, do you think Lance should just leave?
yourusername Hell no, that is my child, giving my life for him to be happy, never did anything wrong, will never do , everyone who complains about him just wants to make noise and distractions and isn't worrying about the race tsunodaaaa on my way to make a fanpage for this mother and son duo
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The soft tendrils of dawn's first light seeped through the curtains, casting a warm, golden glow upon the tranquil morning. Sebastian, now retired from the racing circuit, still grappled with the novelty of no longer being tethered to the demanding schedules of tracks worldwide. Yet, awakening beside his wife, cocooned in the serenity of their home, provided a deeply soothing sense of contentment.
As Sebastian nestled closer to his beloved, he could feel her gentle warmth radiating beside him. She slept peacefully, her worries and the frenetic pace of everyday life momentarily suspended. Ever since Bee came into their lives, their nights had become a balancing act between tending to their child's needs and stealing moments of rest. But on this particular night, they had slept deeply, as though replenishing themselves from an extended bout of weariness.
Her locks cascaded like silken waves over the pillow, delicately shrouding her serene countenance. The soft curves of her features bespoke the tranquility she had discovered in that fleeting moment of repose. A fond smile tugged at Sebastian's lips as he recalled the countless nights spent awake with her, cradling her in his arms as she delved into the depths of her creative musings. The restorative embrace of a full night's sleep had invigorated Sebastian. He savored a newfound sense of peace and autonomy, a luxury he hadn't known since bidding farewell to the adrenaline-fueled world of racing. Now, he could devote more of himself to his growing family, witnessing Bee's milestones and relishing in the simple joys of marital companionship.
As the world beyond their bedroom gradually stirred to life, the couple remained ensconced in their private sanctuary. Yet, the tranquil ambiance was momentarily shattered by the soft whimper of Bee, captured by the electronic monitor stationed nearby. With a reluctant sigh, Sebastian's wife stirred beside him, bidding farewell to the depths of slumber.
"Sebastian, your daughter wake up . . .", she groaned, as Bee's gentle cry pierced the stillness of the morning, the woman instinctively buried her face into her husband's chest, seeking refuge from the beckoning call of their daughter. Her soft sobs muffled against the warmth of his embrace, a silent plea for a few more moments of respite.
Sebastian couldn't help but chuckle softly at his wife's playful attempt to evade the inevitable. With a tender affection, he ran his fingers through her hair, soothing her frazzled nerves with each gentle stroke. Her muffled laughter reverberated against his chest, a testament to the enduring bond they shared, even amidst the chaos of parenthood. As Bee's cries persisted, Sebastian's wife reluctantly peeled herself away from the sanctuary of his embrace, a resigned smile tugging at the corners of her lips. With a loving glance exchanged between them, they silently acknowledged the shared journey of parenthood, filled with its moments of exhaustion and boundless love. With a whispered promise to return, Sebastian's wife slipped out of bed, ready to embrace the day and tend to their beloved daughter.
As the soft hues of morning bathed the room, casting a gentle glow upon their cozy sanctuary, the woman returned, cradling their precious Bee in her arms. Each step she took seemed to echo with the tender rhythm of maternal love, her eyes alight with a serene radiance that mirrored the dawn's gentle embrace.
Sebastian's heart swelled with affection as he watched his wife approach, the ethereal beauty of motherhood emanating from her every movement. With each delicate sway, Bee stirred slightly in her mother's arms, her angelic face still adorned with the remnants of sleep. As his wife drew nearer, Sebastian's eyes sparkled with an unwavering adoration, a silent testament to the profound love he held for both his wife and their darling daughter. In that fleeting moment, the world seemed to fade away, leaving only the tender bond that bound their family together.
Bee, with her tiny hands outstretched, reached eagerly for her father, her sleepy gaze melting hearts with its innocence. Sebastian's heart skipped a beat as he eagerly scooped her up, enveloping her in a warm embrace that radiated with paternal love. With a contented sigh, his lover gently lowered Bee onto the bed, where the little one wobbled unsteadily before finding her footing. With a gleeful giggle, Bee propelled herself into her father's waiting arms, her laughter filling the room with its infectious melody. Sebastian's heart swelled with pride as he cradled their daughter close, showering her with affectionate kisses that elicited a chorus of delighted squeals. In that moment, surrounded by the warmth of their love, Sebastian's wife couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the family they had created together.
As she reclined on the bed, a gentle hand instinctively drifted to her burgeoning belly, where new life stirred with the promise of tomorrow. With each fluttering kick, her heart overflowed with anticipation, a silent prayer whispered for the blessings that lay ahead.
In the tranquil embrace of their shared love, Sebastian's wife felt as though she had finally found her own personal Graceland—a haven of warmth, purity, and boundless affection. And as the laughter of her husband and daughter echoed through the room, she knew that their home would forever be filled with the sweet symphony of love's enduring melody.
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sebastianvettel My Dearest,
As I sit down to write these words, I find myself immersed in thoughts of you, my heart overflowing with emotions that words alone cannot fully capture. Each day spent by your side feels like ascending to a throne, where you reign as my sovereign, my King. Your presence in my life has granted me a sense of liberation, a feeling of being truly Free from the constraints of the past.
Our journey together has been a whirlwind of joy and passion, a dance of souls caught in the frenzy of love. In your arms, I've discovered a rhythm unlike any other, a Choreomania that consumes us, leaving us breathless yet exhilarated. Whenever I find myself away from you, it's as if I've returned to familiar grounds, back in the embrace of a familiar town. You are my anchor, my sanctuary, my safe haven — a feeling encapsulated in the phrase Back In Town.
Together, we stand united against the odds, defying conventions and societal norms. We are rebels, fighters, Girls Against God in a world that seeks to confine us. In the depths of night, you are my beautiful paradox, my Dream Girl Evil. Your essence is both enchanting and mysterious, a captivating blend that keeps me endlessly intrigued.
Within the walls of our home, our love becomes a sanctuary, a Prayer Factory where we offer our hearts and souls in devotion to each other. It is here, in the sacred space we've created, that I find solace and strength. You possess a wisdom and insight that transcends time, a gift akin to that of the mythical Cassandra. Your intuition guides me, leading me towards a future filled with hope and promise.
In your arms, I've found my heaven, my nirvana — for Heaven is Here, whenever I'm with you. Your presence alone is enough to transform the ordinary into something extraordinary, turning mundane moments into memories I'll cherish forever. Your smile, like a radiant daffodil in a field of blooms, brings light and warmth to even the darkest of days. With you, each moment becomes a celebration of life, a testament to the beauty of love.
My love for you knows no bounds, transcending the limits of time and space. You are my guiding star illuminating the path before me with your boundless affection. Even in moments of separation, I exercise restraint, longing to hold you close yet savoring the anticipation of our reunion. Distance may test us, but it only serves to deepen my love for you, fortifying the bond we share.
Together, we are a force to be reckoned with, a Bomb waiting to explode with passion and desire. In your arms, I find solace, security, and an overwhelming sense of belonging. You are my muse, my inspiration, my Mermaid of the depths. Your allure is irresistible, drawing me in with your ethereal beauty and grace.
My dearest, these words pale in comparison to the depth of my affection for you. You are the beating heart of my existence, the light that guides me through the darkness.
With all my love,
Sebastian
tagged: yourusername
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charles_leclerc alright gonna wrap it up, never gonna be this kind of romantic
carlossainz55 not even shakespere thought about writing something like that, mate
maxverstappen1 When will it be my turn?
kellypiquet what? maxverstappen1 when will it be my turn to be this romantic
lance_stroll MAMA AND PAPA
fernandoalo_oficial beautiful letter, really big, not gonna read but it's wonderful
jensonbutton I've never seen anyone who had so much to say, my god lewishamilton stole all the romance of the century landonorris That's why we live in the century of whoredom
yournamecuunt DID HE JUST MAKE A LETTER WITH ALL HER SONGS IN ORDER?
aussiegrit he's crazy romantic sentimental like that
motheryourname why hasn't yourusername commented yet?
lance_stroll She's here crying like hell at Sebs' farewell party alex_albon She's been really emotional today, with the party and everything. landonorris It's the hormones of this new pregnancy ynthinker THE WHAT sebastianvettel Lando??? yourusername FOR FUCKS SAKE landonorris sorry, sorry SORRY MOTHER
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spookyserenades · 3 days
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Sanctity - Chapter One TEASER
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Pairing(s); BTS OT7 x Reader
Genre/Themes; Vampire!AU, yandere!AU, horror, themes of the supernatural and mythology, historical topics, vampiric powers, religious themes, violence, romance
Rated; 18+ for swearing, violence/gore, toxic behavior including stalking, torture, and manipulation, future sexual themes. Reader discretion is strongly advised.
Word Count; 668
Sanctity Masterlist
Sanctity Playlist
TO JOIN THE TAGLIST PLEASE CLICK HERE!
Ko-fi 💜
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Knees wobbling, Y/N lowered herself onto the chair while Mrs. Sloane eyed her like she was a slab of wagyu beef she was preparing to sell to the highest bidder. Biting her lip, she swiftly shut her eyes, heeding Meredith’s earlier advice. Perhaps she could prolong her anxiety attack if she kept her eyes shut the entire time, flinching in the seat when someone was not-so-gently rolling up the sleeve on her left arm past her elbow and swiping an alcohol wipe over her sensitive skin. 
“We’ll be taking more than usual today," Y/N’s plans of staying blind were foiled when her eyes snapped open in shock. 
“W-what? But taking more than a pint is dangerous, is it not?” Y/N’s voice came out panicked and thin, Mrs. Sloane scowling at her nastily. 
“Silence. It is not your place to question,” Mrs. Sloane scolded, Y/N’s breathing becoming fast and shallow. “A new coven has arrived in the area. They have requested a large sample of AB-.”
Dread flooded through every cell of her body, horrified that she was about to be drained dry, two pint bags on the steel table beside her. Barely having time at all to process that there was a coven of vampires that were new to the area, and that there was a great chance that they’d select her as a donor, Y/N yelped when one of the wardens pinned her wrist down and another slid the hollow needle in her arm. Seeing stars dance in her field of vision, Y/N whimpered at the sting of the needle, feeling sick when she felt the warmth of her blood flowing into the tube connected to the pint bag resting on her arm. She absolutely loathed the feeling of her blood leaving her body, like her very life force was being sucked out, and before she could actively close her eyes, they shut involuntarily when they began to water. 
“Calm down, AB-,” Mrs. Sloane sounded like she was spitting through her teeth, Y/N unable to feel her limbs. “You should be grateful. You’ll have the rest of the day off to recuperate.”
Y/N hardly heard the woman. Ears ringing, she was drifting away, a cold, sticky sweat coating her forehead. While she was struggling to form a coherent thought, one of the wardens must have switched out the full bag for the empty one, and by then, Y/N lost consciousness. 
Several moments later, Y/N not knowing exactly how much time had passed, someone was snapping in her face, jamming a straw in her mouth. Nearly choking on the orange juice that was being squeezed down her parched throat, her eyes opened blearily and all she could see was blinding white light from the fluorescence above her. 
“You may sit here for no more than five additional minutes. Then return to your dorm until the dinner bell,” Mrs. Sloane’s arms were crossed, annoyed that Y/N was holding up the line of acolytes outside waiting their turns. 
Though she was pretty much completely drained of energy, Y/N’s mind was moving a thousand miles per hour. With a new coven in the area, there was a very real possibility they’d be interested in her blood, considering the rarity of the blood type. She gleaned no additional information from Mrs. Sloane– typical– but how many vampires would be in this coven, if God forbid they chose her? Three, four? Four was typically the largest a coven would get, and the thought of four of them latching onto her at once had her leaning over in the chair and emptying the contents of her stomach into the bucket on the floor. 
It didn’t matter that she’d be free of the Sanctuary. Though she’d live lavishly, she’d have constant open wounds and would probably be psychologically tortured by the creatures. Suddenly, meals made purely of beef liver and beds constructed out of pallets seemed much better than cake and down feather mattresses.
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Taglist; @hazzadoesnotexist @melidramatic7 @honsoolfilter @lovelyglares @bratalicious777 @xicanacorpse @kaeya91 @the-theban-script @jasmin-loves-k-pop @alessiamalfoyzabini @kayways-blog @maeveontherun @a2zure @adoreyou976 @ancagab16 @adoreyou976 @ancagab16 @artfrhe @lightwxod @drenix004 @yoongtism @mischievouscassie @m00njinnie @justlikecrazy @ellaints @asillyduck15 @darkpuppysuit @lilacdreams-00 @neverthefirstchoice @levislifeline @susi-199 @chibimanda @trustfratedjin @tnafzi @yxmer @monkeytime3474 @tinybasementmaker-blog @cryingnotcrying @moonj-oon @mar-lo @kiki-zb @imnotsleepyo_o @oopscoop @wisejudgepandafan @hemmofluke
Please do not copy or translate my work. Thank you!
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hollyhomburg · 4 months
Text
Before I Leave You (Pt.70)
(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)
Summary: The one where the pack goes on a group bender. 
Tags: Fluff, only a little hurt mostly just comfort, scenting, bathing, drinking, drunk characters, recovery from past abused, nightmares, trans! tae, dress up, girl on girl fluff, omegaspace, themes of forgiveness, vomiting, eating disorder mention but everything's good, Brief implied sexual content, Talks of mental disorders, murder,
W/c: 12.6k
Note: The part where it links to a playlist on youtube may be a little distracting if you do not like to read with loud music on! feel free to skip it and then go back to listen to it <3 although it is not the first song in the playlist- hot to go by chappell roan is the unofficial official song of the chapter <3
Previous part - Masterlist - First part
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The pack spends the next three days getting drunk off their asses and trying their hardest to forget the last 3 weeks. Everything since you and Hobi found that body at the beach all those weeks ago.
There are no police officers at the door, no red and blue lights that cloud the air, or tense words spat between you. No plans devilish or delightful. Sometimes there are thin bands of sunlight that slip through the blinds and that's a big event. Other times- the big kitchen light shines brighter than any sun. Daytime and nighttime blend and blur together until you’re not sure what day it is or how many days it’s been since all of you became free.
Freedom. It feels like a dirty word.
Young, drunk, and honest, the days blend together. Drinking away the last few weeks might not be the best move, neither the healthiest nor the most productive decision to drink yourselves dizzy until it doesn’t matter that there’s a person buried in your basement, that Jin shot Jimin, or that you almost left them. The truth of love is clean compared to what you might do, what you have done- for the people you love.
For once no one judges, no one cuts you off after one or three or five drinks because it's too much for a pup like you. No one even stops Jungkook from getting giggly from champagne and drinking more than his seizures would normally allow. You deserve it, a few nights of fun, a few nights to live like the 20-somethings that you all are without the weight of trying to survive and secrets weighing you down.
It’s okay, if Jungkook has a seizure that will be the least of your worries.
The hours blend and blur. Jin submits his resignation paperwork for the FBI and has a quick video call with the director, the rest of the pack tries to be quiet but fails several times (once when namjoon pops a bottle of champagne and hits himself in the face with a flying cork, and again when he and Yoongi clink their glasses and predictably break them on accident sending champagne all over the floor. it's not the first glass that breaks that night but it is the first one that makes Jin laugh.)
You and Jungkook lay sprawl across his lap, just out of sight and giggling every few minutes. nuzzling under Jin's shirt to scent his sensitive stomach. Your fingers play with Jungkook's on Jin's hips, and you teeth listlessly at the soft skin just above his belly button, just so that you don't speak or let out an embarassingly needy whine. His hands and long fingers card through your hair and shushing your laughter just barely. Jin doesn't have the heart to tell anyone not to laugh, especially after the last few days no- Jin will drink down every bit of it.
The glass of very good and expensive wine in his hands just out of view of the camera lens, also gets drunk down, and very quick. Yoongi pauses to refill it once Jin's done, he drinks the second glass slower.
Hobi and Namjoon fill out their paperwork for emergency rut leave. Jimin doesn’t have to, already on emergency medical leave and cleared for his bodyguard job till the end of the month when spring will turn the ground lucid and heavy sweet. The winter won't be long now, although the cold pushes at the window and makes Yoongi put the thermostat up high just so that you can all lounge around in your pajamas and fuzzy socks.
Heat and rut leave, even though no one's in a rut or heat. You don't mind lying and abusing the system just this once. You just can’t think about leaving the house just yet. You need a few days to settle all of your instincts and remember that being alive- that surviving is a good thing. That surviving and being together is even better.
It feels like a good thing. It feels like this is the first deep breath you’ve taken in a long long while. Since long before Yoongi maybe- if you’re being honest.
You know you must be irritating your neighbors with the music- but it’s worth it when you get to sit on the counter and watch Yoongi and Hobi bicker over the playlist. Which song is better, which one has the better backtrack, the better lyrics, and the better vibe.
A big black block speaker sits on the kitchen island bumping and although Hoseok and Yoongi might be fighting, they're leaning further into each other with every over-exaggerated scoff like a pair of magnets. it might be midnight, it might be 4am, but no ones sleeping yet. you know too well what waits you when you close your eyes. The nightmares that will plauge all of you, so you keep them open.
It's kinda fun to watch them flirt, It's kinda your favorite thing to watch actually. sitting there on the counter sipping at your drink.
You stay close to Hobi just incase. He hasn't showed any sort of evidence of falling apart from seeing moonbyul yet, but you're ready and waiting if he needs you.
The long socks you wear have trouble staying up to your mid-thigh, thick and cozy, and falling down around your knee as you sit on the countertop, feet dangling and swinging as you look between Hobi and Yoongi. Jimin toys with them, pulling up and pulling down. Happy with the sensation of it. He's equally as entertained by the way that Yoongi and Hobi fight, half joking- half really not.
After the kind of fights you've had recently, you'll take it.
“Fuck you and your love for fucking tambourines- this song is not that good-” Your feet swish and Hobi bens in to peck your forehead and sneak a sip of your drink. You like them sweet and Jin's made each one extra sugary for you.
You don't know where Jin got the mini paper umbrellas from- but Hoseok has a red one tucked behind his ear and a green one in his drink, the same as your yellow one. They litter the kitchen counter along with the juiced rinds of lemons and limes and other mixers that the pack is chasing with their alcohol.
"Oh! Try it Tae, this is like- so you and so so pink" Tae tries your drink too, bending down to sip at it counter level and you watch Jimin swallow hard and fidget. he's so enthralled with the sight of her bending over and sucking that he misses her sneaky hand creeping around to his backside, pinching so hard he jumps.
Hoseok laughs and then does the same to Yoongi. "Oh my god what the fuck-" He's indignant, but Hoseok tugs him back to his side by his belt buckle.
Tae's eyes are nearly comically wide, she asks you what you're drinking, hand on your knee, fiddling with the ribbon on your socks. “I’ve never had a Miami vice before.”
Jimin’s growl is a near thing, a near purr, makes you giggle and tip into him, happy. “I’ll make you one babygirl.”
"Wait!" Tae snags Jimin around the waist before he sinks off to get her one, and even you can see the blush on his cheeks. It's a good sign, Jimin is recovering well from all the blood he lost.
"Help me sit on the counter first?"
Jimin had in fact, heaved you up there when you'd asked to sit, not that you couldn't get up there on your own- but the alpha’s like to do little things like that for you. Tae can definitely do it herself too but Jimin stoops to grip under her thighs, eye contact with her never ceasing, and almost drops her when she takes the chance to kiss him fully on the mouth and you giggle again.
Yoongi glances over at you, at the sound, and your giggle cuts off. cheeks the mirror of Jimin's.
The discomfort passes like it was never there, like he didn't look for the sound, like he's not keenly aware of just how many steps it would take to cross the room and kiss you firmly on the mouth. Yoongi's thinking all sorts of silly things like that.
It's not silly, it's not silly at all- Yoongi is just not quite sure how angry he is.
Yoongi’s all puffed up, swaying but somehow holding onto his whiskey. The counter digs into his hip where he leans and flips his hair like he doesn't know that Hobi's watching. Like Hobi's not biting his lip and staring. It's easier to look at Hobi than it is to look at you- easier to want Hobi than it is to want you right now. Easier to bicker and flirt than to actually initiate anything.
(Yoongi never did like sex or love when he's drunk, he's only ever loved love sober, drinking makes him- stumbly- less articulate than he likes, more rambly. Like his body and his mind are at two seperate tempo's and they won't mix).
“Like you’re any better with your fucking cowbell fixation. It does not add that much to a track."
“Hey! I am a millennial thank you very much, that was like such a meme when I was in high school- like people had shirts with that on it” 
their bickering is funny and it’s so much nicer than almost drowning, than fighting. Jimin’s stitches are still tender but you burrow into the front of his chest, hiding your face from view. Peeking over his shoulder to watch Yoongi and Hobi. 
Your mate tips his head, spits it almost vicious and slurry, “And I bet you had one of those fucking shirts, You and your fucking memes, just because a song has cowbell in it doesn't make it a good song-” 
Hoseok grins, teeth sharp looking and smelling so heady and rich that you tip your neck to the side, presenting your scent gland for Jimin and Tae to burrow into, between the two of them in a alpha sandwich. 
"You thinking about my shirt hyung? It's made of boyfriend material you know." 
Jin laughs from the couch in approval and tae groans but Yoongi's hand tangles with the front of Hoseok's shirt, black, generic. Pulling him closer so harshly that hoseok genuinely looks startled for a second. "I am thinking about your shirt- how it would look on my fucking floor." 
Jungkook swishes around his Miami vice from the couch, calling over to your little cuddle puddle, "Does anyone know what they're talking about?" 
Jin pipes up, almost undistinguishable from where he's pressed between Joonie and the couch cushion. "Are they angry at each other or trying to fuck?"
"Both?" 
"Both." 
You sigh at the same moment Tae nearly swoons, "Let them be."
"It's sort of hot to watch them argue," you agree.
“You and your fucking memes” Yoongi spits again, half a laugh, so in love that he purses his lips to keep from saying it and ruining the (admittedly fake) argument.
He pushes hoseok up agains the center island, lips colliding with his so sloppy and yet with so much love behind them that you see Hobi's knees go weak a little, watch your mates lips work in the way you are only too familiar with blushing and still peeking. As Hoseok's red hair mizes with Yoongi's black and Hoseok kisses back with just as much tension, finally snapping. Yoongi's hands on his hips. Kissing just to kiss. Pulling apart with a laugh because,
"Did you just fucking bite me?"
"And i'll do it again if you don't admit that my song is better than yours." They go back to kissing, and no one pays them heed.
Jimin’s scent swells sweeter and Tae touches the top of your head, long fingers threading through and long nails scratching gently behind your ears. 
"Feeling small pup?" She asks, all quiet and fond with it. Prepared to wisk you away upstairs or into the library room if you need a second of quiet, a second of less stimulation so settle you. you're a little quiet, a little less verbal- something she's come to expect from you in omegaspace.
You shake your head, words escaping you, eyes stuck on her fluffy sweater, the kind of mohair that leaves a pretty white halo, her shorts are more bloomers, ruffled at the hem and dove colored, the same color as your socks. Coordinating. Tae dressed you and she wanted couples outfits. Your hands fix on her sweater sleeves and you pet them once, twice, still shaking your head. 
"You sure?" Tae's lips quirk and you know that she doesn't believe you in the slightest. You press a kiss to her lips, slow soft, near reverent with how gentle you are with it. Her pupils dilate, and Jimin's' growl rumbles all the way to your fingertips.  
"M'okay, just a little sleepy but not like- sleepy sleepy yet." it is nearing 3 in the morning. Jimin's arms tighten around you protective and a little possessive, Tae's eyes go from your face to his. Apparently, she's learned a thing or two from Yoongi and Hobi because her tone is dripping with false displeasure.
“Stealing my pup from me Minnie?” She taunts, and you shiver at the sound of her voice, low, the most normal it’s sounded in days. You’d almost forgotten what it sounded like when Tae teased.
Jimin seems to have forgotten too, because he doesn't seem to understand that she's teasing, bullying you, nearly pushing you further into her with how quick he seeks to hand you over.  “Never.” He says softly, quietly. Like every syllable she says is treasured. It is. 
“Hey!” Jin flops over the edge of the couch. Jungkook and Namjoon near his feet. All but kissing up his thighs. Namjoon says something low and Jungkook giggles, almost tossing himself into the pack alpha’s shoulder. “Hey! If anyone is anyone’s pup, they’re- hic- mine!” 
Jin only manages to be serious for a second before he flinches, laughing and hiccuping again as Namjoon’s fingers dig into the meat of his heal. A carefully orchestrated reminder as the pack omega squirms and shrieks at the ticklish feeling. Swaying and almost toppling from the couch. You don’t think you’ve seen Jin look so young, act so young- in weeks. He ends up on the floor with Jungkook on top of him, blowing raspberries against his neck with a loud rippling noise. 
Your hands are healing slowly and Hobi’s bruises around his neck are beginning to yellow. The bruises on the back of Tae’s head have faded from painful to touch tender. You touch her there, oh so gently. Touching her hair as she touches yours, leaning into each other and giggling, touching, loving gently. Jimin watches blinking owlishly. Fingers flexing on the countertop.
Other wounds have faded that way too. Yoongi scoffs and turns to you. They've been lost in their own little world. Yoongi has his long hair in a top knot, his white teeshirt is so long it almost hides his shorts below. If basketball shorts could be coquettish- Yoongi would pull it off. The loose pieces of his hair fluff softly over his forehead as he huffs. 
“Okay. You can be the tiebreaker- which one’s better? This one or the song I showed earlier?”
Both of them look at you expectantly- watching and waiting, Tae curls a lock of your hair around her finger syrupy slow as you pause for a second. You turn to Yoongi already apologetic, “Okay- but Russian house music is like- kinda really really cool-” 
Your mate groans and all but smacks his head on the counter. “Oh come on!” Hoseok pumps his fist and almost hip-checks Yoongi across the kitchen. Your mate pouts, crossing his arms.
“Come on- epic high is a classic.” 
“Admit it hyung- she likes my playlist better than yours.”
At least Yoongi is sort of talking to you again. Sort of getting over it minute by minute. It’s hard. Namjoon watches you from where he's sprawled on the couch, holding a near-empty bottle of champagne by the neck while Jungkook and Jin wrestle on the floor, sort of making out, sort of scenting each other as they go. Jimin requests a song that Tae would like- and then Yoongi and Hoseok lean over Yoongi's phone to make her the perfect playlist. Happy to have something new and mundane to bicker over.
(Happy Pink Pup Time ▷ Play playlist?)
Morning is just cresting over the rooftops and the music is just turned down when Namjoon gets up from the couch, slowly, dizzy. You're perched on the counter in your pj's watching Jimin and Jungkook chase each other around the room. The need to scent and wrestle and get all your restless energy out near palpable.
Hoseok and Jungkook have a tiny paper drink umbrella tucked behind their ears, the same one that Jin stuck in your drinks so that you can keep track of whose drink is whose. He and Jungkook gang up on Jimin to stick one into his hair, the tiny little baby bun that Tae tied to match Yoongi.
You giggle as Jungkook gives up and just loops his arms around Jimin's neck, no technique to it and all body weight dragging the three of them to the floor. Sprawled next to the library room door, now open. Tae’s makeup collection spread out on the green shaggy carpet like the fallen petals of some red flowering tree. Nothing hidden in the room anymore, the lock will go unused forever. 
It changes from wrestling to tickling and then the three of them are getting up and surrounding Yoongi, a paper umbrella in their fingers, he takes it all with a huff and a surprisingly whiney, “guys.” 
You still when Namjoon walks over, the same way you'd still if a wild animal were approaching. He doesn't settle close, just stands next to you and pours himself the last melted bit of the drink in the blender. Pink and yellow swirling delicately. He makes a noise in his throat and looks at you like he hasn’t barely said a word to anyone in the whole last 24 hours, hasn’t barely said a word to you since you got off the phone with him and Moonbyul left the house. 
You sip at your drink, lips pursed around the straw and when you're done, Namjoon takes it from you and puts it on the counter. You think at first that he might be cutting you off but then he stares at the gauze around your hands.
"I should probably check these." You nod obedient, wordless, unsure what to say, you let him take your hands. 
Fingers prodding at the red skin, delicate but knitting itself together slowly. “How much do they hurt?” He asks. Eyes downturned, looking at them, not you. 
“Probably a two,” you rate, almost without thinking. His eyelashes still cling together from salt. Face glossy. You want to wash his face, blot across his cheeks gently the way that Jin does after you've been crying (something that you admittedly do a lot- the pack's resident crybaby). 
Namjoon sighs heavily, "So should I consider that a four or-" 
"No, this time I'm being honest." Namjoon stills, "It doesn't hurt when I touch stuff unless I'm not careful." Being honest about your hurts and pains has never been easy for you. But Namjoon has shown you time and time again that he's willing to take your hurts and fix them. You have no reason not to tell him the truth. 
Namjoon grips your palm, turning it over his hands again and again, looking down at your love line lifeline all tangled there before leveling you with a look that is neither angry nor resigned.
He holds your hand, “Do you notice?” He asks. You swallow, eyes itchy. 
“Notice what?” His finger presses to the center of your palm, the hollow there. 
“Still dry,” He says. 
You think of the mice. Of drowning. You don't pull your hand from  Namjoon's grasp, but you know he wouldn't Let you anyway. 
You think about the mice. Of dying. Of trying to stay dry despite the things that try to swallow you whole. Water is not gentle, water is hungry. The rain pitters against the dark glass and melts the snow outside. But you and Namjoon and the rest of the pack are dry and warm and safe in here. 
Your breath hitches, but you close your fingers around his hand and nod. Your heels hook around the back of his knees, pulling him closer to you. “Still dry.” You agree. 
Namjoon closes his eyes and breaks the tension and this distance between you. Letting you pull him between your thighs properly where you sit on the kitchen counter. Wrapping his arms around your shoulders to tug you to his chest, and breathing deep in the hollow of your throat. 
He pulls back just as abruptly. Hands resting on the counter on either side of your thighs. All up in your space and sour-smelling. It takes great effort for you not to turn away and keep his piercing eye contact. 
“Don’t do something like that again. Ever.” His jaw rolls and his scent spikes angry. But it's all temporary as you nose under his jaw to soothe him. Namjoon has every right to be angry with you for leaving, the same way Yoongi does. 
“Never. Promise.” You hold out your pinky and you mean it. 
Namjoon looks at you for a second, staring you down, waiting for you to look away. But then after a pregnant second, he loops his pinky through. 
~-~
Eventually, you get drunk enough to play dress up with Tae’s collection of designer clothes. You wake up sleepy and pupish, Namjoon and Jungkook guide you to the dressing room before youre really awake.
"Sorry to wake you, Tae just needed-" you make a sleepy soft noise, nuzzling into Namjoon's throat when they hand him off to you.
Instead of getting pulled into pajamas you get Tae and the dressing room, almost her whole collection of dresses taken out of their careful organization. piles and piles of clothes on the floor, and a silk scarf keeps her hair back from her face.
Gold eye patches on her under eyes that slide off when Jin tries to drag her in for a morning scent mark to soothe her. Tae's anxious, you can smell it on the air, distracting and sharp, you squirm and Namjoon sets you on the floor. "Sorry pup, Tae's just-"
Tae's cheeks were wet, frustrated holding a slip in her hands. sniffling softly. She'd looks at you a little guilty, looking down at you in the middle of her tornado and nearly burst into tears,
"I don't have anything to wear."
Hugging Tae is always so easy, easier when she needs your comfort. you're sleepy, but this is something you'd know how to do even in your sleep- loving her properly has always been so easy. Jimin stands silent and fidgety in between the hollow of her closet obviously having handed her dress after dress to try and soothe her.
"Jimin, give me that dress and that Crinolin."
"The blue one?"
"The one thats purple and pink, stat." You know better than to think this is just Tae having nothing to wear, this is dysphoria, the way it clings to her shoulders, makes her turn away from the mirrors. You straighten up and turn to your pack in the door each of them standing at attention.
"Namjoon, go downstairs and bring me up the case that's under Tae's makeup vanity, not next to it, the one under it. It's got her favorites." You turn to Hobi, "find Noodle, she needs a cat in her lap asap."
Tae sniffles, wiping her cheeks, grimacing but then admitting, "a cat would help."
They scatter. "What should I do?" Yoongi asks, rubbing the back of his neck with his hands.
You pause, hover. But Yoongi waits, willing to be ordered around. "you could make us a drink?"
Of course, you don't need to be drunk to play dress up on a good day, it's just that Tae needed a bit of liquid courage after Moonbyul's words, you expect that they've gotten under her skin a little more than she's let on. But if that's under her skin, you're happy to help her put something more fitting over it.
Skirts of tulle and beaded flowers and stars that glitter brighter than the whole sky. Fancy tambour embroidery that must be worth its weight in gold. Pulled gently, mother-of-pearl buttons get stuck in your hair. Expensive draping and diamond collars stitched high against scented throats. Velvet bows and metal boning are hidden by the softest silk.
It's fun to be a girl sometimes, most of the time. Especially when your alphas ask for you to twirl for them.   Which is how Namjoon ends up breaking the lamp by your couch by tripping over the floor-length bright pink dress that Tae’s put you in. fluffy tiers of it, bright and flamingo pink. Tae's feeling alot better now, after you'd done her makeup and let her swatch colors of lipstick up and down your arms. Let her choose your outfit and change you a dozen times to find the right dress for you.
You'd done the same with her, you'd put her in the red dress and blushed, and immediately asked her to change. And had pointedly not looked at the delicate daisy print bralette she wore under it, the white and yellow flowers that did everything for her skin.
You remember when that bralet was just hidden in her makeup room. Remember when she'd never worn it, too risky, too much of a confession to the nature of her soul underneath. When it had stayed just there- hidden in the library room, ready to be savored. Now- the yellow on the straps wears off white instead of lemony and you pull them up her shoulders, a kiss to the spot where it sits on her shoulders.
Hoseok sits on the edge of the couch- because all of them had tried and failed to fit on the pink tufted bench upstairs in the dressing room almost breaking it so you had to relocate back to the first floor. Hoseok buries his face in your hip, disappearing into the pink glittery fabric. Laughing and smiling up at you. "You should wear this all the time, you look like a fucking peony,"
"That would be like so impractical." Hobi's cheeks are dotted with kiss prints, "if you want to put makeup on me you better kiss it on" he'd teased, getting drunk quicker than the rest. his cheeks have several small kiss prints four from Tae and five from you.
All of you bear her touch, either by kisses on your cheeks, pink and mauve, or by the glitter that tae's demanded you all wear. You’ve giggled and dotted it across their cheeks to match. Tae has a lot of glitter to go through in her makeup collection, more than she ever logically will in her lifetime or even before they expire. It's okay to use them now.
She sits with Jin, the pack omega's arms full of swatches the same way yours were all those months ago, as Tae explains the merits of each and Jin chooses which glitter he wants on his cheeks. The reflects in this one that's green, not purple- or the pink one with extra little heart glittery bits- her favorite. Jin listens on an astute student, Jimin close at his hip, absorbing her words like they're gospel.
They are gospel. After spending the last few days debating survival strategies- debating glitters is so much better.
Jin lets Tae put his on (white, with extra chunky stars) while you put some on Namjoon's cheeks (champagne colored, almost translucent with how it blends into his skin) and Jimin’s fingers draw idle circles over Tae's back. Between the velvet ribbons that crisscross and tie her corset.
Tae's corset is a deep plumb, but the color of her silk dress fades to pink around her waist and then gauzy white on the floor. Her red toenails are only visible when she sways, "Minnie i'm ticklish there." Jimin just growls in response. Half a pur and half a plea.
Are the others thinking about it like you are? Thinking about Tae in a big white dress, a veil across her face? Are they thinking about how lovely she looks in white? Or how much they'd like to see her in a white dress for them? Just like you are?
Namjoon leans close, between your thighs too. All of them- all of your packmates sit in a line across the couch, ready to be glittered and made up because Tae had requested it. Doing all of their makeup. They'd been so willing, so loving about it. They'd even washed their faces and you'd gotten to clean the salt from Namjoon's cheeks just like you'd wanted. But now-
Now the 4th finger on your hand hums sensitive, Tae has glitter across her knuckles. You haven't thought about your wedding ring since you took it off, and haven't thought about marriage at all. Jimin well- Jimin will be Tae's mate- same way you're Yoongi's. But Tae's ring finger is empty, she doesn't wear a lot of jewelry but-
You don't think about your wedding alot, not at all really. Such a brief little bit of time that started easily the worst time in your life, but you remember the feeling of the dress, tight on your hips- how you couldn't move a full step without help.
Hoseok burrows into the fluff at your hip, really- it must have taken a mile or two of tulle to make a skirt so poofy. It sort of feels like you're wearing a cloud. With Tae's ribcage size and your chest- most of her dresses fit you comfortably. This one is probably the closest, and Tae chose it for you.
Tae chose it for you.
You sneak furtive glances over at Tae while you do Namjoon's makeup. Not much, just a bit of eyeliner and mascara for his sparse lashes. He looks up at you from the couch, eyeliner on one eye, almost masculine in the way it makes his eyes look sharper and dragon like. Concealer for the bags under his eyes.
"Your scent went a little sour then sweet, what were you thinking about?" You continue to put it on him, pat pat pat- quiet for a moment where you choose your words.
"I was thinking about my wedding dress."
Hoseok quiets where he's still burrowing into your hip, maybe more a little alpha-puppyish than you've seen him. You don't blame him, the stress of yesterday has you needing a bit of omegaspace yourself. Your back and shoulders all tense in the way that only ever relaxes when you're brought low and sweet by their care.
But not now- not tonight- maybe tomorrow you'll indulge in omegaspace. Tonight, none of you will sleep or be sensitive just in case something bad happens. Just in case Moonbyul's promises were too good to be true. It might be a good night (verging on morning) but none of you trust the quiet. The rain still pittering on outside. Creaking under the doors with cold damp fingers.
Namjoon's fingers dig warm into the spot under your thighs, the squishy bit of skin between your knees and your mid-thigh. Under the dress but firm, keeping you there in the moment and not sinking back through your memories. 
Hobi's eyes are shiny when they look up at you, pinching a bit of the pink tulle between his thumb and forefinger. "What was getting married like? What did you wear for your wedding dress?" Was it everything you dreamed of or could you want that dream again. Who would you want that with, could it be me?
(Hoseok won't have to wonder for long, although he will be disappointed, just a little)
"It was so- so not me- I'd much rather have worn something like this." The dress might be a monstrous concoction of tulle but it's still so cute- so much more- you than anything Geumjae ever put you in.
"Getting married was kinda a blur, alot of people, a lot of talking but- I have pictures of me in it somewhere, do you want to see?" Namjoon nuzzles into your waist, your sternum, and nearly your chest, but you let him. He answers in a purr before Hobi has a chance too. 
"No, I don't need to see, you look lovelier in this, I'm sure."
"I never thought a bit of whiskey would draw compliments out of you alpha," You tease, it's a bit of a change from how firm with you he was yesterday but you're not going to look gift horses in the mouth. Namjoon just shakes his head, rubbing his cheeks across your bodice more thoroughly, almost clumsy in his scenting.  
"I clearly haven't been doing my job if you think you need to get me drunk to compliment you- I'll happily do it again when we all get sober."
"Like that will ever happen again," Jin snorts, then ducks away from Namjoon's /////' We really shouldn't have that kind of mentality look. They can avoid their pack alpha and pack omega responsibilities and sensibilities for a few moments more. a few days more. 
Tae had decided you'd wear this, had picked it out from where it had hung towards the side and she'd even said please. Even if the skirt is so long that you nearly trip over it every time you take a step you'll wear it all night if that's what she wants. Walking is what heels and alphas are for anyway.
You don't look at Hoseok and Namjoon, you just look at Tae, thinking of your wedding. 'I'm gonna marry her one day.' You think.  
The whole pack bursts into laughter, and you realize that you've spoken out loud the same second that you trip, hands jerking to catch yourself on Namjoon's shoulders, regardless of the container of glitter that you hold in your hands. 
When you look Yoongi has more glitter covering him than a stripper would at Mardi Gras. More than they put on Edward Cullen in Twilight. Their laughter redoubles, and when Yoongi breathes out in a huff, his breath sparkles. 
"Jesus fucking Christ."  
Your cheeks are brighter than your skirt while Jin tries to clean off his thighs swatting the glitter onto the floor but everyone's laughing too hard to properly help. Yoongi repays their laughter by shaking his hair out over them much to their dismay.
Jungkook is hiccupping with how hard he's giggling, and you're all drunk and in love, and just- there is no harm in it, even as Yoongi sighs and Hobi teases, "You're like fucking Tinkerbell hyung." 
Tae doesn't do anything about your confession, doesn't do anything but laugh and tip her hip into yours, it's so much squishier, so much curvier than it once was. The hormones that have been doing her job in making her soft and supple. Curves that you can't help but feel a little bit later when she pushes you into the side of the couch, your dress and her dress mixing their colors.
"So, you wanna marry me huh?" She's so much taller than you, especially in the Versace pumps she put on. So tall and willowy it has you stammering. 
"Yeah," you say, a little breathless looking up at her. Gulping as she leans, pinning you there. "If Jimin will let me." 
Jimin hasn't seemed to notice that you're having any sort of conversation that should involve him at all, hasn't registered your words at all, too busy staring at Tae with an expression that can only be described as lovestruck, maybe utterly devoted. Your sentiment and want to marry her- hasn't struck him as strange at all. You guess you'll have to ask Yoongi first but when you turn, his cheeks are as pink as your dress. 
Jin lunges forward, miming the neck of a champagne bottle as a microphone, doing a silly voice. "Anything to report? any comment Yoongi- knowing that your mate wants to marry someone thats not you?" 
Yoongi huffs and it casts a new puff of glitter into the air, "she can marry whoever she wants. She's my mate but- if she wants to yeah-" His shoulders shiver, "we'll not anyone- obviously she's limited to the people in this room but-" 
Jin is giggling and so are you, rolling your eyes, "Obviously- not like I'd wanna marry anyone else than you guys-" Hoseok looks away and then back at you but it's a missed moment. Jimin tugs on the laces of Tae's corset and her slight intake of breath has you looking back up at her. 
“Did you have to do it so tight?” He asks, eyes on you. 
“That’s kinda the point of a corset alpha.”
And then- Hobi slaps the couch. A loud sound but a look says he's not angry, he's running his fingers through some of the glitters there, a little pile, uncovering the faint stain below. 
It's a blood splatter. Faded from where Jin poured a whole bottle of hydrogen peroxide over it, but it's faintly there still. Soaked through the fibers and the foam below probably. Maybe all the way to the base and the springs. 
They washed it as much as they could, but they still couldn't get it out all the way. The couch, like a few other things in the house like the curtains- will have to be dealt with and disposed of one day. It is a kind of evidence. There's probably enough DNA to pull from it to be worrisome. 
“Can we like- burn this fucking thing already?”
He’s progressed past normal drunk to not quite able to stand on his own, might fall over, drunk. The glass in his hand sloshing with every movement as he leans over the edge of the couch. Hobi’s already got some on his cheeks, bright yellow gold that crests the highpoint of his cheekbones and the inner corner of his eyes. It looks like sparks a bit- especially with his red hair. 
Jin grimaces, “It was like totally soaked with blood. I did the best I could." 
"No one's blaming you hyung-" 
"Yeah you did like such a good job. It's just- still kinda covered." Namjoon's always trying to ease Jin's discomfort, encourage him, and that's still true even drunk.
“It's probably still got Namjoon’s cum in it from his last rut too.” Half the pack cringes and scolds Jungkook, but he's recalcitrant. "What? It's probably got your cum on it too- we kinda ruined it before the whole murder thing just saying." 
Jungkook hasn’t been drunk in years, he has the lowest tolerance among the eight of you. He bounces giggly, jumping from packmate to packmate, looping his arms around your shoulders and leaning so much of his body weight that you almost topple over, just giggling. Yoongi huffs, a little endeared and a little worried that Jungkook will actually make you fall over.
Jungkook does this to you alot. He likes to overpower you sometimes- not that the hierarchy still needs settling Jungkook just likes to hassle you.
“Hey!” Namjoon chirps from the floor as Jin carefully sweeps up some of the glitter and a few shards from the lamp that Namjoon broke. He’s too drunk to be properly scandalized. 
Yoongi sits back against the cushions, drink in his hands swirling. Ice clinking. “Yeah, let’s burn it.”
And burn it you do. The alphas try to lift it all together and almost fall over themselves, barely moving it even an inch before Yoongi decides to cut it up with his power tools and carry it out piece by piece. It makes a fucking mess in the Living Room before you lug it out to the squishy backyard.
Piles of stuffing litter the living room floor like dust bunnies and noodle swats at them, playing.
Yoongi's got the kerosene and you've got the match and the whole thing goes up in seconds, much to Hoseok and Jungkook's whooping delight. Jin's bundled in a blanket, but even he grins at the flames and the bad memories that burn away with it.
Hobi almost throws his car keys into the fire too but doesn’t. Whooping and waving his arms as the flames climb higher and higher. Yoongi squirts more of the lighter fluid until Namjoon says "That's enough" because a trip to the burn unit isn't what any of you want tonight.
The eight of you stand around it and watch it burn and then when you go back upstairs, Seokjin drags the mattress from your old bedroom into the big room- just like you did during Namjoon’s rut. Jungkook’s reallocating all of the pack's nesting materials to make a fort on the ground floor. Yoongi gets up on a chair to measure out where the studs should be so that he can use nails to secure a sheet to the ceiling like a big circus tent.
“It’s a fort hyung! It doesn’t need to be structurally supportive.”
Yoongi just pecks at Jungkook's head from where he stands on one of the pack's dining room chairs, "Not gonna let the world fall down on top of you bunny."
Tae asks Hobi to play bubblegum pop and they’re just so happy to see her smiling and acting anything like herself that they acquiesce to even her most ridiculous requests.
Hoseok turns the music up loud and you all fucking dance. You and Tae twirl and bounce, your big long skirts heavy and all big. Stained with a bit of mud at the bottom of the backyard. Namjoon makes both of you twirl and snag around your waists as you spin past.
You and Tae hop up and down, screaming along to the lyrics so loud that when it quiets- your voices are rough and raw. Chests a bit lighter with each screamed lyric, something awful working its way out of you with every laugh, something necessary in it as you grip each other's arms and yell out your frustrations against the speaker.
And by then Jungkook asks to wear a dress too- and then you’re really all having fun.
Yoongi is wearing a pair of Tae’s fuzzy knee socks and is dancing slowly with Noodle who chirps in his arms- apparently recognizing that your mate is too soft and squishy at the edges to be worth the hissing. Hair mused from some very involved kissing that you know Hobi dragged him away for.
Noodle keeps his claws sheathed for now as Yoongi dances although he does look vaguely annoyed. Like he doesn’t want to enjoy Yoongi’s touch but does. Watching you and Tae show Jungkook how to walk in high heels with beady yellow eyes. Jungkook gets it quick, quicker than you did.
Tae just nips at his cheek, a little bitey and a lot drunk. Jin and Yoongi have run out of frozen fruit so the drinks are a little stiffer. You’ll probably run out of alcohol by morning.
Someone will offer to drive to the nearest liquor store which will immediately be met by shaken heads and refusals, just this once- you can have alcohol and food delivered. Leaving the house right now still feels too scary. Too nerve-wracking.
Why would you ever leave when you have everything you could ever need, everyone you’ll ever love right here in this room? Wearing glitter and dresses and matching pajamas worn at the edges from love and cuddles.
Namjoon is wearing your bottoms. The very first courting present he ever got you, pink with red hearts. They're a bit tight in the ass and more capris, but they fit him either way. You watch as Namjoon’s fingers toy underneath Seokjin’s hem, splaying and petting a little higher. High enough to show a bruise that you didn’t know existed that lies against Jin’s ribcage.
For now, you’re all safe, and Tae tugs Jungkook upstairs in the direction of your dressing room. “Come on kookie I’ve got the perfect thing.” You know she's not tired of playing dress up with just you- she's just happy to have another canvas.
Tae has 7 other canvases actually, once Jungkook gets in on the dress-up, Jimin follows like the puppy alpha he is, and then Hobi and your mate, Jin, and Namjoon because they want to know what you're shrieking about upstairs. And come up to find Yoongi sprawled out on the floor, a fluffy something stuck over his head kinda making him look like a lampshade.
"It's not my fault your waist is like- super tiny. My head's just big."
And that’s how everyone gets in on it. Dresses and fancy shirts, bedazzled belts strung low over Hobi’s hip, and a silk scarf tied around Namjoon’s neck in a big bow. Jin ends up in a silky shirt that actually makes your heart stop, a glittery broach at the collar that Jimin toys with and Jin lets him touch to his heart's content. Dancing and dancing and falling onto the nest that you’re all building so so sloppy. Earning your first real laugh you’ve let out in days.
“Joonie? Can you please- I’ve waited forever to get my ears pierced and you’re like a surgeon- and you just look it up on YouTube and do it,”
You slip on someone's spilled drink almost tumbling into Hobi who goes to snatch your waist but misses. Giddy and giggly, “I can do it! I pierced mine once in elementary school but they healed over!”
“I don’t know if drunk piercings are the best idea.” Jin says, at the same moment that Jungkook chirps, “I’ll do my belly button if you hold ice to it."
Namjoon is the one who ends up doing it, with his gloves and antiseptic and numbing cream. You check to make sure Tae’s are symmetrical and then Jimin’s because of course he wants to be matching with her, then Jungkook and Jin, because they can be giggly and ridiculous too.   They’ve got high-quality surgical steal and fancy earrings upstairs that Jimin bought Tae during his mad dash to get her all the girl things after she came out (you're still honestly going through all of it). You give Tae the hoops because you know they won’t tug and pull on her hair and Jimin these little studs with a star on them.
Namjoon does it with a kiss on her cheek and a tiny gauze pad with barely a drop of blood on it folded and thrown away. “Good baby girl, was I gentle enough?” he was, he always is gentle enough.
By the end of the night, you’ve got a secondary piercing, and Tae’s already dreaming about getting more. One at a time Namjoon says, the edge of a pack alpha command in his voice. 
~-~
You wake with a pounding headache and to mimosas and a mountain of pancakes that Hobi practically forces down your throat to keep off the worst of the hangover. Until you feel like you might be sick and the pack piles in around where you sit in the bathroom to keep you company through your nausea. A bit more panicky and serious and sober than you have been. 
They stroke your back and pile the big blue blanket around you to keep off the shivers. But you don’t vomit somehow, drinking the electrolyte drink that Yoongi practically shoves down your throat. Quieter now that he’s sober but still unable to watch you suffer. Hand on your chin making you drink. You fall asleep soon after that again, overly full.
You sleep for 12 hours, and wake to the sound of retching, but it's just Yoongi- in a similar position as you are. Apparently he Jin and Namjoon stayed up while the rest of the pack went back to bed and decided to play drinking games that have turned into a bad decision. he'll need a shower before long.
He's not the only one whose in a bad way. Hobi wakes from the nest room staring at the ceiling listless. Still wearing the fancy designer clothes that Tae put him in under one of his hoodies. and you know without having to ask that he's thinking about her, about Moonbyul. 
But getting over this is going to be a work in progress. Everyone is good one moment and then bad the next, only to be good in an hour, laughing like you were never crying. 
Hobi doesn’t want to move, staring blankly at the ceiling Noodle purring against his hip and kneading him, putting holes in his pants. He can’t move from the nest fort in the living room, half open like a clamshell curled away from the entryway. Can't move until Jungkook gets you and you come close and he finally tears his eyes from the ceiling to look at you. You don't have to say a word to him you just guide him into a sitting position and let him rest his face against the crook of your neck. 
You help him take off his sweatshirt and when he nods that he's  ready, guide him up to the upstairs bathroom where tae is already showering off the scent of fire and glitter. You helped her take off her corset just the same, tugging at the ribbon until it fell loose because Jimin complained that he didn't know how to take it off without hurting the dress.
You strip all of them- Hobi and Yoongi and tae, and get them side by side in the bathtub. A firm layer of foam on the top from Jungkook's favorite purple bubble bath, and have a go at grooming them with Jin and Jungkook. Every inch of your alphas is inspected and tested with teeth and purrs. Hoseok closes his eyes to listen to the sound of them, just after Jungkook man handles the rest of the pack into the deep tub that Yoongi installed for this specific purpose.
Jin's purr is deep, yours is musical almost, and Jungkook's is really similar to noodles. He feels a hand on his cheek and knows without opening his eyes that it's yours rubbing away the wetness there. 
"Not crying cuz I'm sad just-"  he doesn't have to explain, doesn't have to do anything but close his eyes and let you make it better. If hurts could come out in the wash- you'd be able to get them out. You of all people know how hard it is for him to feel clean, the grubbiness of bad memories and old hurts that stains his bones.
And yet, you still wash him.
You rub a cloth over his shoulders, the tense part of his neck, his spine all gentle. Again and again until he starts to squirm- nothing about the touch, nothing about the grooming selfish. You ask him if he's done and he says not yet so you keep going until the waters gone cold and everyone else has gotten out of the tub.
Namjoon forces about a gallon of water down yoongi's throat, but the worst of the vomiting seems to be over. yoongi sleeps too- out of sync.
Love feels so tight in his chest that Hoseok can't open his eyes. He falls asleep there until Jin starts to tug at him, and when he opens them, he finds that you're in one of Tae's slip dresses- the kind that she likes to sleep in, translucent and soap sudsy at the hem where you got wet washing him.
His voice is croaky but he asks, "Have you eaten?" The answer, of course, is no. But he remedies it easily for you once he's dressed and scented sweet. An eye for an eye, a hurt for a hurt, and a heart for a heart. 
You order a new couch somewhere on the third day, blue this time instead of grey- to match the tile backsplash in the kitchen. With fabric that’s comfier this time and actually designed to be turned into a nesting nook when you need it. 
Yoongi puts it together sober and then takes it apart just to put it back together again- claiming that one of the legs is squeaky and the middle edge isn't flush. He's feeling better, less hungover and less angry. Happy to have something for his hands to do.
He still doesn’t talk to you more than a few words but he does ask “Hold the flashlight for me?” While Tae is upstairs putting away her torn-apart dressing room with Hobi and Jungkook. 
And you do help your mate- standing in your matching pj’s with clean hair and clean minds for the first time in days. Thoughts unclouded by terror or anger or alcohol. 
You hold his phone while he tamps down on the leg screws. the sound of the others laughing upstairs, both of you quietly accept for the clink click of the socket wrench. You hold the flashlight, hold it even when Yoongi drops his hands, not looking at you, squatting. It's quiet, Noodle sleeps in a puddle of mid-afternoon sunlight by the front door but it's morning for you- all of you slept till noon. 
“I need a moment okay just- give me a second, give me a few days.” You gulp and look at him. But it's as much as Jin has said to you too. As much as any of them have warned. “Give him time pup, he’ll come around.”
“Let me know when you want the next screw.” He turns around, still kneeling before you, hand on your ankle. Circling it slowly and simply. Petting over the ball of your bone and your Achilles tendon. Looking up at you and not saying a thing until you speak.
“You know I’m sorry for it right? That I regret it right?”
“Yeah,” he says, lips downturned “I know. Wish it hurt less that way.”
“If there was something I could do- something that would make it better- you’d tell me right?”
Yoongi pauses, his lips part for a split second and then go closed, and this time his cheeks go pink. But he sounds stronger when he says,
“Yeah, I’d tell you.”
~-~
But it does hurt less this way. All of your secrets and all your shortcomings are out in the open. Day drinking is either a fantastic idea or a terrible one depending on how you look at it. Because for the first time ever you all talk about it instead of keeping it bottled up.
The eight of you are piled into the kitchen, a second food order sits on the fringes in brown paper bags that Hobi doodles on idly with a sharpie, drawing bunnies and noodle and diamond rings and flowers- endless daisies. and then moves to doodling on Yoongi's jeans. Five days in and still completely unwilling to leave the house- still too scary, too many unknowns that linger just outside your door.
The 7 of them sit stretched between the cabinets while you bounce around above them mindful of not tripping on their sprawled legs, cooking up your tiramisu because Hobi had bragged about it and now they all want a taste.
You spin and turn, ducking and dodging needy hands. Jimin leans forward to sneak a quick peck against your knee when you’re mixing some of the egg whites. Jin gets up eventually to help, disliking the way that you teeter too pupish without a reassuring touch and your favorite baking companion at your elbow. Jin ties his apron around your neck and says. “Tell me what to do” Cooking with him is the most normal thing you’ve done in months. You have enough energy for it once.
“You’re making like a double batch, right?” You’re drinking less, all a little less intoxicated, you’d woken up this morning with a headache that faded and now you don’t want to drink anymore, done for the week and maybe the month. Maybe your whole lifetime after almost vomiting- was that yesterday? Or the day before?
“Hyung when I tell you you’re gonna wanna have the whole tray it’s like- so fucking good-”
“You talk a big game Hobi.” Jungkook looks like he wants to be a part of Hobi's big game. Scent swelling sultry and sweet.
There has been surprisingly less sex than you thought there would be although you know that Tae dragged Jimin upstairs late last night for a bit of privacy. It’s nothing like Namjoon’s rut. Without the alcohol, the pack is getting touchier. It’s strange- you almost would have expected them to want more while drinking but it didn’t happen that way.
Now Namjoon’s hand skims your hip whenever you walk past. Stepping over his thick thighs, squishy where they're pulled together to give Yoongi enough room. His hand comes up to toy with the edge of your shirt, A casual yet claiming touch that you pay no mind. Pinching the chub there and murmuring a quiet "fuck."
You raise your eyebrow at him, a bit self-conscious but still willing to let him do what he wants, "having fun Joonie?" You taunt. He leans forward, nose nudging under your shirt, dragging his teeth over the small swell of your stomach in reply. It's nothing new (well you being a bit chubbier is- but you're learning to live with it).
the mood is light until Jin asks you how you did it, how you killed the don and his beta. 
Your recipe book is open in front of him- and that has to be part of the reason why it comes to him. It’s not a secret anymore. Yoongi doesn’t look bothered as the pack quiets down and you tell them everything.
How Moonbyul convinced you to help her do it, how you actually killed them, how she disposed of the evidence. All of it. Jungkook's fingers come up to skim over the scars on your back and you catch his hand gently, taking it away from them because you don't want him to touch them now. 
It's the first time you've addressed the elephant in the room in 5 days and it feels- 
It feels good to talk about it. To get it off your chest. 
You've always told yourself that you had to kill them, it was either them or you, and they were bad people anyway. Who knows how many innocents had fallen under their hands- certainly more than have fallen under Moonbyuls. 
You did what you had to do to survive and there was no way out. But part of you has always wondered if that was true. 
The pack makes you feel like it is the truth. That killing to survive was all you could do. 
But it’s Hobi who bends forward along with Jin, “hang on hang on- fucking cupcakes? You poisoned the head of the fucking mafia using fucking cupcakes?” 
You blush, and Namjoon drags his finger through some of the whipped cream you’ve already made for the tiramisu. You gave him the bowl after you were done with it and he lifts it up to lick at the bottom, practically putting his face in the metal bowl. Jungkook licks the spoon and Tae tries not to watch his lips pucker. He fidgets, Thigh-shimming where he squirms tucked into Hobi's side. 
Jin's hand on his chin guides the alpha to look up, checking to make sure that he's alright. You don't have to wonder why because last night- Hoseok woke up from nightmares again. 
It was just like your nightmares. One moment you'd been nuzzling into him in sleep, and the next moment his hands had been shaking pushing you off of him. Smelling angry- his caramel scent going burnt and off the more he woke, you'd stayed up with him and piled blankets into the bathtub until he'd fallen back asleep again. Yoongi waited on the fringes with water until Hoseok had fallen asleep fitful- but asleep. 
He'd woken up without an appetite, but when you'd asked him he'd said the only thing he might be able to eat was your tiramisu, so here you are. Nightmares are easy to deal with, Hoseok's nightmares are something you can handle. 
“I bet they were fucking delicious.” 
“Thank you Joonie, they were.” 
Jin and Jimin are staring at you open-mouthed. But there are more questions- clarifications that everyone needs to ask. It feels good to finally talk about this freely. 
“Wait wait wait let me get this straight- Jin’s been working for the FBI for how many years?” 
“Only 6” Jin says at the same time Yoongi says, “6 and ½” and they shoot each other looks before Jin nods, and agrees. Eyes still on Yoongi. Jin and Yoongi are looking at each other with more love than is necessary. And Yoongi answers everyone’s unsure glances.
“I knew from the beginning and it didn’t matter.” Jimin bristles like it should certainly matter but Yoongi squeezes his good shoulder. “It doesn’t matter anymore.” Yoongi furrows his eyes, looking at Jimin's shoulder, and asks Namjoon if Jimin's stitches are ready to come out. 
They are, so Namjoon gets his medical bad and Jimin takes off his shirt. A pair of forceps and medical scissors in his hands as he snips through Jimin’s stitches and carefully pulls them out one by one, wearing sterile rubber gloves but pausing to let Jin feed him more spoonfuls of whipped cream. 
“Yeah,” Jin says, contemplating. “It doesn’t matter. They were so like bureaucratic anyway." 
"You're not gonna miss it?" Jungkook asks, and Jin shakes his head.
"It's not worth it, I'll find something else to do, I've got like a stellar recommendation from them anyway." 
It’s not just that secret that you talk through; you also talk through jimin and yours. nothing hidden anymore. No reason to hide it.
“Of course, I recognized you Minnie- I met you before I met anyone else- Before I even met you Yoongi.” Now that- Yoongi really doesn’t understand. But Jimin is already explaining before he has a chance to ask. And by the end of it- Yoongi wants to drive hoseok's car into the wall, trembling with how angry he is at past you for being so stupid.
“A fucking bar? You met Jimin at a fucking bar and you didn’t even try and hide the fact that you wanted to kill my brother?”
“Well I wanted to hire an assassin and he was there so-“ 
“Of course, she was gonna hire an assassin hyung, her ex-husband was like a total dick- like even more of a dick than Moonbutt or whatever her name is.”
“Moonbitch Kookie.” 
You skim your fingers through Hobi’s hair, checking to see if he’s alright and he nods, catching your hand and pressing a fleeting kiss there. You need your hands to bake but Hoseok holds onto them a moment longer than is necessary.
“God that's so dumb” Jin slaps Namjoon's arm and he realizes what he just said, his shoulders curling in, “wait you are not dumb and I am just stressed because I’ve never made ladyfingers before- please don’t think I actually meant that-” 
Namjoon rolls his eyes, he’s well aquatinted to how punchy Jin can get when he's tired. That’s nothing new. Jungkook spills across Yoongi’s thighs in mock misery, but he doesn’t react beyond skimming a hand up Jungkook’s back, first over his tee shirt and then under it. 
Yoongi turns to you, where you hold a piping bag filled with creamy batter, taking even deep breaths as you pipe out the first few ladyfingers, showing Jin how to do it without getting bubbles in most of them. “You knew didn’t you?” He’s not accusatory. Just surprised. “That it was dangerous, you knew you could die and you did it anyway.”
You nod without pause, “I’d done more dangerous things by then, It was only a matter of time before someone figured out I’d killed the don and I wanted to make sure I got to see him die before they got to me.” 
Yoongi takes a sip of his glass, angry at you for making poor decisions back before he even knew you. Angry even though his anger has nowhere to go that's good. 
“You have to be more careful.” 
“All of us have to be more careful,” Hobi replies he doesn’t like the reproach in Yoongi’s voice. Doesn’t like the way he’s been talking to you. But all the anger and all the pain is healing (it's all just love with nowhere to go. All you have to do is give it time.)
The wounds on your hands are closing slowly- healed enough already that it doesn’t hurt when you hand over the piping bag to give Jin a chance to try. You've done the first 12 ladyfingers and he does the next two dozen to get the hang of it. When Tae asks, you show her how to pipe out a little heart, and then JK wants to make a dick-shaped one and you let him. He gets more of the batter on his sleeve, but you made extra just in case something like this happened. 
Jungkook sits up abruptly, wide bunny eyes dark and glassy upturned at you, glancing between you and Jimin, “What did- what does killing feel like?”
“Oh my god Jk you can’t just ask that.” 
“No, he can ask I just-“ Jimin swallows, and puts his hand down. He's holding a piece of gauze where Namjoon puts the small cut pieces of the suture. Tinged pink from a little bit of blood. His chest shines in the half-light, the little bit of antiseptic glimmering around the freshly pulled stitches on his shoulder catching the light. Jimin’s face twists in pain, but you know it’s not his incision that’s bothering him. Namjoon's gentle as he pulls the last one.
“I don’t want you to think less of me.” 
Everyone’s silent, no one rushes to reassure him, because the truth is that you don’t know. You put your hand over his squeezing- the best that you can offer. Jungkook pushes on, undeterred, “Tell us about the first time.”
“The first time was an accident- it was- before you guys just before Tae went to school- right when she started and I wasn’t thinking. Someone rushed at one of my private clients and I just-“ Jimin's eyes go dark and he picks at one of the stures until Namjoon pushes his hands away.
"You did what you were hired to do," Namjoon asks, and Jimin nods. You and Jin finish the tiramisu and Yoongi reaches out a hand to help you sit with the two big trays of it, portioning them out onto the plates.
"I protected them at a cost." Jimin stares down at his plate, the perfect square on it. and you nudge it until he eats it.   “That music executive” Tae blurts, eyes shining, connecting the dots “you were really quiet after you came back but then you got buys, I just thought-” She goes quiet when you feed her the first bite, letting out a surprised but appreciative hum, distracted by how good it tastes, "This is really good."   Yoongi huffs, rueful in his understanding. “All they really need is one kill on you and they’ve got you for good.” But that's all in the past now, Jimin is never going to have to kill someone again, even if he did get paid for it.
He lifts a fork to his mouth, pulling back after a second and furrowing his eyebrows. licking the cream from his lips slowly, eyes narrowing.
"Okay now I'm really angry, how have you never made this for me?"
"You never asked Yoongi."
"We'll I'm asking now, I can't believe you kept this from me for so long. Can you make it on my birthday?" You blush, bright red, and Jungkook leans over to press his nose into your flushed cheek.
Jimin answers Jungkook's question after a few bites. “It didn’t bother me, after a while it didn’t bother me at all" Jimin turns to Jin, eyes shining with unshed tears, "hyung, does that make me crazy? Does that make me a psychopath?”
Jin swallows softly around his bite of tiramisu, it really is quite good, top 5- if not top 3 on his list of favorite desserts you've made. “I’m not sure. There is an assessment as a part of the DSM-5. I could test you if you want. Although I’m not sure I could be totally impartial.”
Jimin looks winded, desperate from the line of hope that Jin dangles in front of him, a chance at salvation. Jimin has always wanted to know- in that same twisted way he’s always wondered if he and Tae were going to go to the same place when they died- if he was honest to god crazy. Jimin’s always wanted to know what makes him so different than other people. always looked for a reason and now jin might give him one.
“What do you mean by impartial?”
Jin sets down his fork. “Jimin, do you think any of us wouldn’t do what we had to do to survive I mean- Tae and Y/n killed someone over there 6 days ago. Do you think that makes them psychopaths? Do you think that makes them damned?”
Jimin’s chest heaves and he can’t answer Jin, But after a second, Jimin asks again, “You’ll assess me then?” Tae's fingers rub mindless patterns over the back of Jimin’s hand, her knuckles are still bruised.
“The next day we’re both alone in the house.” He grimaces, “It’s the least I could do after shooting you.”
Jimin whines, mood lightening. “Come on, you know I don’t take it personally.”
At the end of the day, the fact that Jimin’s a killer hurts less than you might think, although their pack has their own questions about it, Tae too, although her questions are limited, Jimin answers each of them truthfully and honestly. He'd never think of lying to her about this, not anymore, not again.
When it comes down to it there is a lot you’re willing to justify when it comes to the people you love and the people you choose. You’re all killers and liars and secret keepers. No true sinner and no true saint between the eight of you. It’s a good thing that you have more than enough love to go around.
Enough for a lifetime you think. You’ll have to wait and see.
“You realize everything you’ve said is insane right” Namjoon’s not angry, just tired and full as he sprawls out. Uncaring of everything that’s been said, unthreatened. “Like- actual mafia movie insane right? Are your names even your real name?”
Yoongi can’t keep in his snort. “Of course? What kind of question is that?”
You give them a look, “Actually…” The uproar is immediate, and everyone shouts their indignance and disbelief. All but roaring in shock, your laugh rings high and loud.
“Kidding! Just trying to lighten the mood!” Jin playfully drags you over his lap, swatting your ass playfully in punishment. Your laughing only gets louder. He leaves a coco-colored hand print on your white shorts.
Tae’s in more of a joking mood now, “am I allowed to use this for my next storyline?”
“Yes” and “Definitely not!” are mutual cries.
Maybe you don’t need to know everything about the person you love. Maybe love is just understanding someone’s secrets and loving them anyway. Maybe the biggest lie that Namjoon can tell himself- to preserve their family that they’ve forged through fire and fucking blood is that Jimin only ever had to kill when he needed to. He parts his thighs after he throws away his gloves- not even bloody, and Jimin slides in between them relieved.
His back resting against Namjoon’s chest, a happy growl grumble slipping out as he tests his hands, and Namjoon tests how far Jimin’s fingers can bend. “Pt starts tomorrow” Namjoon intones, a warning in his voice. Jimin nods, perfectly obedient.
“The rest of our lives start tomorrow too.” No one disagrees.
Jungkook is giggly and sits between Yoongi’s thighs, whipped cream on his cheek, they’ve already finished the first tray of tiramisu that you’d made and are making a serious dent in the second one. Cooking for them fills you with that same warm feeling as it always does. Cooking is a love language. food too. Your stomach is full of it.
“Hang on hang on- let me get this straight-“ Jungkook ticks them off one by one on his fingers. “Jin’s an FBI agent. Jimin’s an assassin. And you almost were one too?”
You roll your eyes, but nod anyway. It's truth enough- it's pretty obvious to you that's what Moonbyul and Hyejin had to slated for (privately Jimin wonders what your moniker might have been. Would you have been the flower to his snake? The dove to Hyejin's bumblebee?)
Jungkook points his finger at Hoseok next to you, the two of you share a fork and a plate smudged with chocolate and whipped cream. Namjoon has completely given up on portioning out his onto a plate and goes at the tray with Jin, a fork between the two of them.
“Hobi’s exes are the current head of a fucking crime family- and Yoongi’s like the heir to some fucked up advice column throne thing- that I still don't quite understand but- Has everyone been keeping something from each other this whole damn time?”
“Does mine even count? It’s not like I knew my ex was like- a fucking mafioso or whatever-”
“I mean- I kept the secret that I was a girl for like- my whole fucking life so I feel like everyone else gets a pass.”
Jimin combs a hand through Tae’s hair, looking down at her and rubbing away a smudge of tiramisu with his thumb. And you hit Namjoon’s knees with your socked feet. Your socks have strawberries on them and a hole at the toe. “You definitely get a pass baby girl.”
“What about you Joonie? Any secrets up your sleeve?”
Your pack alpha shrugs. Eyebrow's furrowing as he thinks hard about it. “I think the only secret I’ve ever kept from you guys was throwing out the lease that one time-“
“Oh my god I completely forgot about that-”   “Yeah, Jin hyung was so so mad. Almost as mad as Yoongi is.”
Your mate spills his plate with you quick he leans over to pinch Hobi’s scent gland. “Hey, I’m working on it!” 
His last bite slips off his plate and plops onto the ground. Noodle darts forward, trying to get to it before you snatch him back. Unfortunately, no one thinks to do the same with Jungkook.
The hardwood floors have seen worse things in recent days than some whipped cream and everyone lets out belated 'No!' and Gross Jk' as Jungkook leans over to lick it up. You laugh as Hobi snatches Yoongi’s plate and holds it over his head, almost dropping it on himself with how Yoongi lunges. And Jin holds his plate of tiramisu out of reach of their roughhousing.
You rest your head on Tae’s shoulder and watch your pack bicker and then shoot it out for the last slice of tiramisu. Yoongi wins and licks the tray clean, getting a tiny spot of cream on his nose that Jin kisses off. She laces your hand with hers.
Both of you have lipstick swatches from yesterday still on the back of your palms, the faint imprint of the colors of your kisses that her fingers trace idly, gently. The memory there for now but not for long.   “What about you Kookie? Any secrets tucked up against your sleeve?”
Jungkook presses a finger to his lips, almost coquettish with how wide his eyes go. “What hyung? Me?”   Yoongi leans into his space, wrapping his arms around his knees. “Yeah, seems like everyone’s got a secret but you.”   “Hyung, you know if I’ve got a secret- it’s one I’ll never tell.”
~-~
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Notes:
Trying my hardest <3 I'm admittedly having a tough time right now, this chapter felt very nice to write because it's all about the beginning of the packs happy ending <3
i personally think they should have all fucked on the floor in tae's dresses, but thats just my personal thoughts about it all. this is one of the few times that i have pictures in my head of the dresses that tae and the m/c wear but i cannot find pictures online that match for the life of me!!!
The moonbitch moment made it into the chapter- idk who it was that commented that but 😂 i lowkey loved it so it made it in <3
What i've been trying to get at with most of the yoongi/m/c healing arc in this chapter is that they both need to be fully actualized and fully realized players in their relationship. yoongi does not and has not told her his wants and needs very often in the story- and that changes after this chapter- because in the moment they're putting together the sofa he realizes 'oh i actually can tell her what i need' it's important to note that the mc has healed to this point like- earlier in the story she might have taken any request from yoongi as criticism.
idk if anyone saw where i was talking about the eventual like 50 year end for the story like- where i think they all end up. but knowing that tae, hobi, and the m/c are the last packmates left alive into their 80's makes the conversation about the m/c marrying tae and not hobi all the more like...ah, sad maybe? i originally planned for tae and the m/c to be the last alive but maybe it should be the m/c and hobi- do you think they'd get married after tae died?
i love that tae and the m/c fit the tall and short lesbian niche that i am so so into like- i know i went on a bit about them but they are very in love and their love story has been some of my favorite in this book. i felt like this chapter needed a bit of glitter.
idk if i mentioned tae having her ears pierced before- but just pretend that i haven't!
i added the part with the m/c washing hobi at the last minute but let me tell you that part did almost make me cry so...
i ended up having to cut the after part of this chapter, but i kinda like it better that way because then yoongi doesn't forgive her right away. idk, that was the main part i wanted to work on for this chapter so its kinda good that i get to wait a little bit.
i've been...admitedly, dangerously depressed for the last two weeks, and i think working on this chapter made me realize that working on bily, writing stuff, is legitimately the only time i am happy and one of like 3 things that makes me feel okay, i hope it makes you feel okay too <3
Until next time!
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niki-phoria · 4 months
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WE WERE ALWAYS MEANT TO BE DESTINY / I HOPE YOU FEEL THE SAME WITH ME
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pairing: sick!zhang hao x gn!reader (no pronouns used) genre: fluff/comfort word count: 550
notes: returning to my sickfic roots !! barely proofread, pls forgive any mistakes <33, inspired by this prompt list from @delusionisaplace, title from bts - trivia: love
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ZHANG HAO is less of a man and more of a mound of blankets when you enter his room. you’re greeted by a series of coughs and a slightly delirious hao as you close the door behind you. a small sliver of sunlight breaks through the closed blinds, illuminating your path. 
he winces slightly as he pushes himself to sit up, squinting at you through tired eyes. “what are you doing here?” he sniffles. 
“hanbin called earlier,” you murmur, reaching up to brush a stray strand of hair back into place. “he asked me to stop by to take care of you for the day.”
“i’m sorry,” he whispers. his voice cracks a little with each word he says; his throat scratches from the effort. “you don’t need to. i’ll be fine on my own.” 
“i want to.” you softly smile as you reach up, carefully resting the back of your hand against his forehead. hao’s eyes flutter closed at the contact, relishing in the feeling of your cool hand resting against his overly warm skin. a slight blush spreads across his cheeks, staining his ears a light pink, though neither of you comment on it. “you’re burning up.”
hao hums. he lets his head collapse back against his pillows with a quiet sigh and another string of coughs. “i think i have a fever.”
you can’t help the way your lips fall into a sympathetic frown. his normally pale skin has become overly flushed. his hands feel clammy whenever they brush against your skin. he occasionally wheezes as he struggles to breathe correctly through a stuffy nose and sore throat. it wasn’t often that you saw hao so affected by an illness.
the edge of the bed shifts when you stand up, alerting hao of your movements. his hand catches your wrist before you can leave, gently tugging you to take a step back towards the edge of the bed. “where are you going?”
“to get you some medicine. jiwoong said it’s in the kitchen.”
hao’s lips pull into a slight pout. he pushes his body to the side of the bed before pushing the covers out of the way. “stay with me?” he mumbles. 
you chuckle beneath your breath. “you know i’m gonna make you take the medicine when you wake up, right?”
“i know.” hao’s thumb brushes against your knuckles; his fingers follow the ebbs and flows of your hands. against your better judgement, you slip beneath the covers to lay beside him. his arms snake around your waist almost immediately, tugging your body closer to his own. hao shifts closer to you until his head rests against your chest, just above your heartbeat. 
“get some rest,” you murmur. your nails gently massage against his scalp as you tangle your fingers into his hair. leaning down, you press a feather-light kiss against his forehead with a soft smile. “i’ll be here when you wake up.”
hao sighs as he nuzzles himself further against your touch, accepting your affection with the ghost of a kiss pressed carelessly against the column of your neck. “i love you.”
“i love you too, hao,” you whisper. tucking your chin over your forehead, you allow your worries to be forgotten as you slowly fall asleep to the steady hum of hao’s breathing. 
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if you liked this fic, please consider leaving a like, comment, feedback, or rebloging !! and if you want to support me, check out more of my fics here <33
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hellbornsworld · 1 year
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JUNGKOOK FANFIC RECOMMENDATIONS(3)🎧๋࣭ ⭑🫧𖦹₊ ⊹⋆𓂃𓈒
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✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆
❥ AFTER LAST NIGHT | Bff!JK X Reader | @kooahae
❥ NIGHT CRAWLERS | drugrunner!jungkook x sugarbaby!reader | College AU | @alphabetboyluvr
❥ THE YOUNG WOLF | jungkook X reader | game of thrones au | @junqkook
❥ All I Want | JK X Reader | Side : Taehyung X Reader | War AU | Series | @ardentlyjae
❥ Taking Over You | yandere!idol!jungkook x fem!reader | Series | @go1denjeon
❥ what the fire gave us | shadow elemental!jungkook x water elemental!(f)reader | Supernatural AU | @gimmethatagustd
❥ rivers over stones | jeon jungkook x reader | @ichorai
❥ Miss. Vagabond | JK X Reader | Online Friends AU | @bubblesuga
❥ Redolence of Love | Blind!florist! Reader x Tattooist! Jungkook | Two shots | @starsinsky1999
❥ Rigor Mortis | Police Officer!Jungkook x Reader | @readyplayerhobi
❥ teacher’s pet? nah, professor!jeon’s pet. | Professor!JK X Bimbo!OC | @adoredcored
❥ (he)art thief | thief! jungkook X daughter!OC | heist AU | @latetaektalk
❥ idealizations concerning real life relations | fuckboy!jk x hopeless romantic!oc | One-Shot | @venusiangguk
❥ Little Wolf, Pretty Wolf, Your Wolf | Omega!Jungkook x Alpha!Reader | @readyplayerhobi
❥ Dystopia | Trainer!Jungkook x Initiate!FemReader | @streetlight11
❥ Obsesión | Yandere! Jungkook x Female! reader | @thvlouvre
❥ of honey and cinnamon | jungkook x reader | One-Shot | @ephemerlskies
❥ Deus Ex Machina | Android!Jungkook x Reader | @readyplayerhobi
❥ home is where the heart is | JK X Reader | Fantasy AU | @corajjk
❥ 𝓘𝓷𝓽𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓼𝓲𝓬 | Alien!Jungkook X Human!Reader | @bonny-kookoo
❥ High drive | JK X Reader | One-Sho7t | @journalwjoonie
❥ Crybaby | dom!JK X sub!Reader | One-shot | @lavishedinjimin
❥ 'I'm yours" | CEO!possessive!Jungkook x reader | @bethschamberoftales
❥ Commitment | Mafia!JK X Detective!Reader | Series | @eureka-its-zico
❥ kaiho | detective!jeon jeongguk x trophy wife!reader | toxic relationship | @99liners
❥ Ares | General!Jungkook X Spy!Reader | @littlemisskookie
❥ After Hours | fwb!JK X Reader | @lovelyglares
❥ The Turing Test |  Android!Jungkook x Creator!Reader | Series | @fortunexkookie
❥ “just an extension cord” | gamer bf!jungkook X gf!reader | @gywaruu
❥ Tebori Tapioca | JK X Reader | Love at first sight | @mypersonmyg
❥ hold me close | boxer!jungkook X girlfriend!reader | Rival Gang AU
❥ seasons don’t fear the reaper | reaper!jk x reader | @augustbutwinter
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆
OTHER POSTS:
JUNGKOOK FANFIC RECOMMENDATION(1)
JUNGKOOK FANFIC RECOMMENDATION(2)
JUNGKOOK FANFIC RECOMMENDATION(4)
ALL BTS MEMBERS WATTPAD RECOMMENDATIONS(1)
BTS X READER WATTPAD RECOMMENDATIONS(2)
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btsworldz · 9 months
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MY LOVE, MINE ALL MINE (Part One) - Taehyung x Reader
yandere idol! taehyung x reader
delusional taehyung, taehyung x reader, idol taehyung, bts x reader, yandere taehyung, taehyung is in loooovee
Part 1 - Next: Part 2
The cameras, the blinding lights. It was all just too much. Smile.
Smiling on cue, Taehyung entered the red carpet and wave his hand before he moved towards the hallway where the cameras are not blinding him anymore. The hallway was packed with different artists and they were all throwing that same smile when he entered the room. Like they were out to get him, be with him, or take anything from him.
“Hi, Taehyung! So how’s the event for today?” A microphone popped right in front of his face, and the recording camera was behind the person holding it.
I just got here for fuck sake.
Taehyung smiled at the reporter, as if he was not caught off guard at all. “It was great. I’ve been looking forward to attend this Gala, and I’m glad that I got the invite so here I am.”
“Of course you’re going to be invited! You’re the Kim Taehyung. Everyone would want you as a guest. Well, I would.”
Cue, laugh.
Taehyung laughed a little showing his pearly white teeth, the reporter laughed along with him. And after the short (but long enough) interview he got to his seat, politely bows and smile, and if he was talked to he responded as normal as he could. He always skip the after party, and went straight home. Saying he can’t hold a drink and people would coo at him, but shit can he drink a lot. He just didn’t like people.
Especially drinking with people.
His therapist and PR coach had troubles training him when he first rise in fame. They both think that he lacked empathy and has antisocial tendencies. So his therapist begin to work with his inner mind and his PR coach work with his gestures. It was clear one was a success and the other was far from it, turned out empathy was not his strongest suit. But he still keeps his therapist around as a way to keep him silent.
When he arrived at his house, he immediately changed his attire to all black from the top of his head to his soles. He masked himself with a pair of glasses, mask, and a hat covering all of his hair. He took a peak from outside of his window. Perfect, he had thought as he looked at the grey sky. He called his driver to take him.
He went to a restaurant that he visited often, it was actually a walking distance from his house but he wouldn’t want to risk walking here and be caught by paparazzi. It was run by an old man, old enough that he never said anything to Taehyung and Taehyung wasn’t sure if he understood the currency because he sold the drinks in a concerning price. But Taehyung didn’t complain, he loved this place and to make sure the business is running he always pays double the amount. He sold traditional drinks and privacy, both of them are what Taehyung wanted.
The place was not an ideal restaurant whatsoever, deserted with no customer inside almost all of the time. Taehyung can only guess that the old man has no energy to do marketing or even interact with customers. Only sign he knew that the old man is still there somewhere was every time Taehyung came here he always points upstair, he’s guessing that the old man was letting him know his usual spot was empty. And Taehyung would just bow to it and ventured upstair.
It was a decent spot for him, a balcony where he can sit and there’s a long table on the railing. The view was quite nice and most of all quiet, just some hills and a little green but with city from a far. He heard the stairs creaked one by one slowly from the inside. The old man was getting up here. Taehyung was in no rush as he pulled up a pack of cigarettes and begin lighting one up. In here he paid no mind, no one’s rushing him.
Ting!
The old man finally arrived with the set of drinks that Taehyung usually drink. He bowed to him and the old man nodded before he headed back inside.
After a while he started getting tipsy, his body felt warm despite the cold weather from the rain. The scenery was calming him down and the quiet-
Ting!
The bell behind him chimes signing someone just opened the door to the balcony. Taehyung froze, the door never opened twice.
He lifted up his drink to his lips in a poised manner to make a sort of covering for the bottom half of his face. But before he turned around, a voice interrupted his hearing again.
“Sorry.” It said.
The person entering his view was a girl holding one bottle and one cup in her hands. She took a seat two seats right besides him, as there are only three seats including his.
She nodded in a polite manner towards Taehyung, which he nodded back with a drink still on his lips. But contrary to what he was used to, he was met with a nonchalant expression on her face. But he was no fool, there was a slight chance that the girl was a fan of him or a journalist.
To be cautious, he slides of his cigarette pack and lighter from his table.
“Hi, are you from around here? I never noticed anyone here before.” Taehyung started a conversation without fully thinking. But he was avoiding a future hassle, one where he would be portrayed as a cocky artist (worst, one who smoke cigarettes too, if she were to notice earlier).
“I’m not. This is my grandpa’s house,” she replied, casting a ghost smile without meeting him in his eyes. Her expression almost guarded as she didn’t seem like too happy to be talked to.
Taehyung was confused. He didn’t want to be rude either. He didn’t know what to do, he had never actually had an unprompted meeting with anyone like this and he didn’t have the thinking gears to read the room. It was his PR team’s job.
He bit his lips in a silent thought. The girl didn’t even look at him, and when she talked to him she wasn’t even facing him fully. Was she just aloof? or was she feigned to be one in order to get him. She seemed guarded for some reasons.
“Oh, the man from downstairs?”
“Yes.”
Silence. Taehyung was thinking what to say next. He didn’t know why he gave a ton of shit right now, but maybe it’s the fact that this was the only place where he can enjoy drinking and he was not about to give it up to some crazy journalists.
“I’m a frequent visitor here. He makes good traditional drink.”
“Indeed. Thank you.” She bowed a little, which Taehyung quickly respond to bowing back a little too quickly for his own liking.
“Where are you from?” He asked again, making sure his tone is super friendly, that friendliness was puking out from it.
“I’m usually, uuh, out there, but I stay with my grandpa when I’m in Korea.” She gave a curt smile.
Taehyung faked a gasp. He didn’t know if he should stop because it seemed like she was uncomfortable but he didn’t want to risk it either.
“So you’re serious when you said that you’re not from around here,” Taehyung said. “I see,” he said. He was at loss at what to say next, usually he was the one bombarded with questions.
Silence again.
“Sorry if I was bothering you, I just really liked it here. The place is nice.” It would suck if I can’t go here anymore.
The girl’s eyes widened. “No, no, no. Thank you for the bother- eh, I mean thank you for coming here. And liking the place. Shit.”
Taehyung laughed a little. It was actually funny for some reason. She was bothered but she didn’t want to admit that to him, and it was entertaining to him.
“My name is Taehyung. What’s your name?” Taehyung surprised himself as he reached his hand out for the girl to take.
“Y/n. Err, Jun- just Y/n.” She takes his hand.
Taehyung was beyond amused by her response. He also noted that her hand is cold and was smaller than his. Before he can think any further she let go of his hand pretty fast. He chuckled.
“Okay, just Y/n. I’m just Taehyung, guess we both have the same surname.”
“Hahaha,” she laughed. Her face has embarrassed written all over it, Taehyung smiled a little at being able to get her caught. “I’m Jung Y/n. Sorry.”
“And I’m Kim Taehyung,” he said.
“Nice to meet you, Jung Y/n.” And he didn’t know if he actually was faking it, at this point it was a surprise that he had meant what he said.
The girl laughed awkwardly. Taehyung was skeptical at first, but now he wasn’t sure anymore about what he thought before. He actually believed someone random that have a conversation with him is not a fan.
“So… why did you drink?” Taehyung initiated a conversation. Just to get more information and proved to himself that she is a fan.
“I… I just something came up at work.” She smiled awkwardly, shifted a little as she said that. She looked damn near uncomfortable, but Taehyung wanted to pry more.
He didn’t know what was wrong with him, but getting the girl to talk more was like scratching an itch. It was damn near satisfying and he really wanted to listen to what she has to say.
“Well, that something must have been a hell of a something to get you drinking that much.” Taehyung laughed, before he realized a little too late that the girl was probably embarrassed if he didn’t correct himself quickly. “I mean I was the same you know, no judging here.” Taehyung raised his hand in a surrendering motion, sending one cheeky smile.
The girl looked away, her cheeks had a red hue in it. She was embarrassed. It was weird that Taehyung’s smile stretched the longer he stared at her emotions. She didn’t say much but she was expressive. And Taehyung would like to think that it was genuine, which was something that he didn’t come across often.
Taehyung shook his head, feeling momentarily distracted.
“Your grandpa made an awfully good drinks though,” he said trying to lighten the mood. Y/n looked at him and Taehyung stopped for a moment to catch his breath with the stare he was getting from her. Her eyes light up, he didn’t know it was possible to really tell when someone’s eyes lit up.
“He was very passionate about his drinks, more than the marketing itself.” She shrugged after she said this, looking around the room to get her point across. “And he had a looooot of knowledge in this industry, he had been working under a guru for about 20 years before he started making his own drinks. After that it was just experience.”
Taehyung was agape at his own ability to actually listen to a full sentence from somebody else and not zone out. It has been years that he actually listen to someone else, he can’t even recalled who and when he started zoning out a lot. “Please do continue,” Taehyung said. He wanted to test himself more.
“I… sorry if I talk too much?” Y/n unsure if she should continue, her expression went from excited back to embarrassed again. Taehyung was at awe, how can someone be this readable.
He smiled at his own thoughts about her. She was interesting.
But then maybe it was the drink in his hand.
“No no, please continue I want to hear the rest of it.” Taehyung laughed as he slouched in his own seat, fully turning his chair towards her.
Without him realizing, he was having a full conversation until the sky turned dark and the rain subsided. Y/n. He was memorizing her name, testing it in his tongue and planting it on his brain.
It was like the God was playing at his life, maybe this person would somehow disappoint him in the long run. Taehyung had to just wait for another conversation to prove that he was right all along.
But for now, another drink and another laugh from the girl seemed like a good idea.
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btsuga-d · 2 months
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Can You See Me || Chapter VI ʚɞ
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↬ ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ
𝚂𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚘𝚢𝚜, 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝚜𝚎𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚝. 𝙸𝚜𝚎𝚞𝚕'𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚜 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚎𝚜 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚍𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚊𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖, 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚜𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚍, 𝚜𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚎𝚎𝚙𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚜𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚊𝚕𝚕. 𝙴𝚊𝚌𝚑 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚊 𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚞𝚖𝚞𝚕𝚝𝚞𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚙𝚊𝚜𝚝, 𝚊 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚞𝚖𝚊 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎. 𝚆𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝙸𝚜𝚎𝚞𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 𝚊𝚕𝚕, 𝚘𝚛 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚎𝚗𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚒𝚛 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚜?
↬ ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ
𝙳𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝙼𝚒𝚗 𝚈𝚘𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚒 𝚡 𝙱𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝙾𝙲!𝙻𝚎𝚎 𝙸𝚜𝚎𝚞𝚕
↬ ᴛʀᴀɪʟᴇʀ
➤ 𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚔
↬ ɢᴇɴʀᴇ
𝙼𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎, 𝙳𝚊𝚛𝚔, 𝙰𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝, 𝙼𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚝, 𝙿𝚜𝚢𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚕, 𝚁𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎, 𝚂𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚕, 𝙷𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚘𝚛, 𝙸𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎, 𝙰𝚄, 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚊 𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚝𝚊𝚕, 𝙺𝚒𝚖 𝚂𝚎𝚘𝚔𝚓𝚒𝚗!𝙳𝚘𝚌𝚝𝚘𝚛, 𝙼𝚒𝚗 𝚈𝚘𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚒!𝙿𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚝, 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝙹𝚒𝚖𝚒𝚗!𝙿𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚝, 𝙺𝚒𝚖 𝚃𝚊𝚎𝚑𝚢𝚞𝚗𝚐!𝙿𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚝, 𝙹𝚎𝚘𝚗 𝙹𝚞𝚗𝚐𝚔𝚘𝚘𝚔!𝙿𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚝, 𝙹𝚞𝚗𝚐 𝙷𝚘𝚜𝚎𝚘𝚔!𝙿𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚝, 𝙺𝚒𝚖 𝙽𝚊𝚖𝚓𝚘𝚘𝚗!𝙿𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚝
↬ ᴡᴏʀᴅᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ
4.1𝘬
↬ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ
𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚕𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎, 𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎, 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚝 𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚞𝚊𝚐𝚎, 𝚟𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚗𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎𝚊, 𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚕𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚋𝚊𝚕 𝚊𝚋𝚞𝚜𝚎, 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝
↬ ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ'ꜱ ɴᴏᴛᴇ
𝙷𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚘 𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 🌸 𝙷𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙸 𝚊𝚖 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚊 𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝚌𝚢𝚜𝚖. 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚠𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚊 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚜𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚋𝚘𝚢𝚜' 𝚖𝚢𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚙𝚊𝚜𝚝. 𝙰𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚞𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜? 𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚗'𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚊 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚕, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚜𝚘 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚌𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛. 𝙸 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚞𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞. 𝙼𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚑𝚞𝚐𝚜 🌸🌸
↬ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ ʟɪꜱᴛ - 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘰𝘰𝘯
ᴍɪɴ ʏᴏᴏɴɢɪ ʟᴇᴇ ɪꜱᴇᴜʟ ᴋɪᴍ ꜱᴇᴏᴋᴊɪɴ ᴋɪᴍ ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ ᴊᴜɴɢ ʜᴏꜱᴇᴏᴋ ᴘᴀʀᴋ ᴊɪᴍɪɴ ᴋɪᴍ ᴛᴀᴇʜʏᴜɴɢ ᴊᴇᴏɴ ᴊᴜɴɢᴋᴏᴏᴋ
↬ ɴᴀᴠɪɢᴀᴛɪᴏɴ
ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴠ - ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ʟɪꜱᴛ - ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴠɪɪ
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flashback
October 26, 2017
The cold in that tiny room was killing me. I could feel the rough fabric of the worn-out mattress that kept rubbing against my bare back. A chill made me shiver from head to toe, and I opened my eyes wide to point them at the mold-filled ceiling. The room was dark and I could see something only through the reflection of the neon lights posted outside the room. A sound of footsteps echoed in the hallway and my lips began to tremble. I only relaxed when I heard that they had passed the room, not paying attention to who was inside. I ran a hand over my face and realized that my hair was stuck to my forehead because of how sweaty I was. How was it possible if I felt so cold?
“Kook?” A hoarse voice rang near my ear and I recoiled in fright. I stared at the thin, pale figure at the foot of my bed. His thin brown eyes were looking at me with sincere concern. He was on his knees and his strained appearance made him even more waxy. He frowned. “Is everything okay? Are you feeling all right?”
“Yoongi-hyung…” I barely whispered as I felt my eyelids getting heavy again.
“You don’t look good.”
“I’m cold.”
His eyes grew wide. He stood up, exhausted from the wound in his leg that was still bleeding. He dragged himself to his bed and grabbed his blanket. He walked back to me and carefully arranged it around my body, making sure to close it tightly around the front. He sat on the edge of my bed and reached out a hand to feel my forehead.
“You’re warm. You probably have a little fever.”
“Hyung, where are we? Why did they bring us here?” I lowered my gaze to his wound. “And why did they hurt you?” I lifted it up to look at his swollen face. They had beaten him. I felt anger growing in my chest again. I had never been the impetuous type, but seeing him in that condition had made my blood rise to my brain. I had tried to pounce on one of them but had gained only a punch in the stomach.
Yoongi was silent for a few seconds. He was thinking. “I don’t know, but we have to find a way to get out of here.”
“How many days have you been here?” I asked him. I had only arrived that morning.
“More than a week.”
I observed his tired and drawn face. He looked as if he might faint at any moment. What had they done to him? What were they doing to him? He had told me that many times they came to take him somewhere. He didn't want to tell me where and clearly avoided the fact that they were hurting him. He had returned to our room more dead than alive. They had thrown him in as if he were a sack of potatoes. I stayed beside him on the floor, feeding him the food they had brought us until he regained the strength to stand up. I had eaten too, and we had gone to bed. I hadn't asked him anything since he seemed too exhausted to tell me anything. But now he appeared more clear-headed than before.
A chilling scream rang out from nowhere, hitting the walls of the hallway and dispersing into the various rooms. We heard it from ours as well. I immediately aimed my gaze at the iron door, which had a small peephole at the top closed by some bars. From there we could see and hear everything that was happening outside. I turned my head toward Yoongi and saw that he was trying with all his might to maintain a cool expression. But the tears and trembling in his eyes made it clear how shaken he was.
I blanched when the scream was repeated. This time we heard it more clearly, perhaps because someone had opened the door where that atrocity was taking place. My hands began to shake as I associated that voice with a face I knew.
"H-Hyung," I stammered terrified. "Hyung, it sounded... it sounded like Jimin's voice... like..." I stood up but was held back by Yoongi. I looked at his face again and saw his conscious expression. He knew. "Is it Jimin?" I asked, letting myself fall back on the bed again. "Is he here too?"
Yoongi nodded and lowered his head. A blond lock fell across his face, covering his brown eyes. He ran a hand over his face and sighed theatrically, wrapping his white fingers around his hair.
Suddenly, I felt a chill run down my spine and an unpleasant sensation hit my stomach. I stood up abruptly, staggering to get to the dirty hole that must have been the bathroom.
“Jungkook?” called Yoongi to me from the other room in a worried tone as I bent over the toilet. I heard him come running into the bathroom despite his injured leg, which caused him to hit the wall. The sound of my gagging filled the room. I emptied my stomach and spit out a green stuff that made me gasp. I felt Yoongi shake my shoulders and tell me something I could not understand.
I don’t know why either. Suddenly I had the impulse to push him away roughly, leaving him speechless. I turned my head and looked at the wall in front of me. I felt strange. I could no longer tell if I was sad, angry, scared. I could no longer feel my body. I couldn’t feel anything. As if I was paralyzed both physically and mentally. I couldn’t even cry anymore.
Yoongi laid a hand on my shoulder and waited in silence until I came back to myself. My emotions unblocked and I returned to breathing again, as if I had been in apnea until that moment. I had never experienced such a feeling, and that thought made my arm muscles contract involuntarily. Yoongi leaned over to see the green substance accumulated in the toilet. He said nothing, flushed the toilet and helped me up to wash my face. Then he carried me back to the bed. He walked over to the trays with the remains of our dinner.
"Kook, what did you eat?"
I looked up, showing him my pale face marked by deep dark circles. "What they brought me. The soup and the two slices of bread. I also drank the water."
Yoongi ran a finger over the plate where some of the soup was left and licked it carefully. Immediately afterwards I saw him spit on the floor what he had just put in his mouth. He also took a painstaking look at the bottom of the glass that was filled with water a few hours earlier.
"Don't eat or drink anything they give you anymore," he ordered, continuing to stare at the glass.
“W-What? Why?”
“They are poisoning you.” His eyes returned to mine. I couldn’t help but cough in surprise. “Or they’re giving you some drugs. I couldn’t tell. Anyway, from now on eat my food.”
“And what will you eat?” I asked him shocked.
He gave me a bitter smile. “Don’t worry about me.”
The door swung open with a sharp bang, and a tall, menacing figure crossed the threshold. The darkness concealed his face, but once he stepped forward, the light from the bathroom illuminated his dark hair and the rest of his face. The first thing I noticed were his hostile eyes, with Western features and such a bright blue that they could have lit up the room on their own. I saw Yoongi take an imperceptible step back and place the glass on the table. Then he clenched his fist. The man turned to look at me with his hands on his hips. His eyes scrutinized me to the core. He observed me as if I were a lab animal. He nodded to the two men dressed in black behind him.
“Take the little boy.” His deep, cutting voice left me stunned. The two henchmen walked toward me, but before they could grab me by the arms, Yoongi shoved them forcefully causing them both to step back. My Hyung positioned himself in front of me with his arms wide open. I held my breath.
“You’ll have to pass over my dead body, you pieces of shit,” he spat angrily. He shifted his gaze to the blue-eyed man. I had never seen Yoongi so threatening. “Twist a single hair on his head, and I swear to God, hell won’t seem so far away.”
A chilling laugh hit my ears. The man’s shoulders were shaken by gasps of amusement. “Oh, Suga. Haven’t you realized that you’re alredy in hell?”
“I have a fucking name. And it’s Yoongi. Stop calling me that, you asshole Dongsun. And are you even Korean? I bet not, given your shitty face."
I swallowed audibly as I tried to get out of bed to pull Yoongi back. I didn’t like the man’s threatening smirk. I wanted Hyung to stop provoking him.
“Don’t worry, I’ll make you regret every fucking word you dared to spit at me,” he said, arrogantly pushing past the two men in front of him. He threw them aside and lunged at Yoongi, grabbing him by the collar. He punched him so hard that Yoongi fell to the ground.
"Hyung!" I screamed, trying to reach him, but the two henchmen held me back. Normally, I had considerable strength, but my feverish state prevented me from doing anything but struggling unsuccessfully in their grip. They forced me to my knees and pinned my hands behind my back.
"You're the only one causing problems," Dongsun hissed, kicking him in the stomach. Yoongi rolled over, stifling a cry of pain. He bit his lower lip until it almost bled. He squeezed his eyes shut when that bastard kicked him again in the same spot. This time, Yoongi couldn't hold back a sob. "From the start, you've been rebelling and refusing to enter that damned room. But rest assured, I'll fix your attitude. We'll see who wins between us." My heart skipped a beat when he stomped on Yoongi's injured leg, inflicting unbearable cruelty. "You messed with the wrong man, Suga."
I shivered when I heard Yoongi's agonized scream. I wanted to cover my ears, but my hands tied behind my back prevented it. I looked at my Hyung with tears in my eyes, his face contorted with pain. Dongsun smiled as he twisted his shoe on Yoongi's increasingly bloody leg. This man was the devil incarnate. I couldn't believe such a cruel, heartless being existed, capable of deriving pleasure from others' pain. Yoongi grabbed Dongsun's leg, still pressing on his wound, trying to remove it in vain.
"Stop, please!" I shouted, unable to stay silent any longer. "Leave him alone, I beg you," I continued, sobbing. I couldn't bear to see my Hyung suffer anymore. It was tearing me apart. I wished I could take his place, shouldering all the pain he was experiencing. Dongsun looked up at me and pointed.
“Grab that kid and get him out of here.” He crouched to get closer to Yoongi's distraught, lifeless face, his foot still pressing on the wound. He grabbed his blond hair and yanked him forward to bring his face closer. Yoongi gasped for breath. "This time, you've really pissed me off. I'll be more than happy to take my anger out on your beloved Jungkook. He'll be lucky if I don't cut off his balls. This is all your fault, Suga. You have only yourself to blame."
He removed his foot from Yoongi's leg and threw his head back, releasing his hair. Yoongi began to breathe again. He grabbed his wounded leg with both hands and curled up, his shoulders shaking with sobs. The two men behind me forced me to my feet and dragged me across the floor since I was too weak to stand. We passed by Yoongi, and I met his pained, guilty gaze as a tear rolled down his ruined face. I tried to give him a reassuring smile to keep him from worrying, but managed only a grimace.
Dongsun turned to leave with me in tow, but suddenly stopped. The two men halted, and so did I. We all looked down at Yoongi. He was lying face down, and with the last of his strength, had grabbed one of Dongsun's ankles. The latter raised an eyebrow, intrigued by the utterly senseless act.
"Please…" Yoongi slurred, making the cruel man smile. "Please, leave him alone…"
"Suga, are you begging me?" he asked with a mock surprised tone. "This is a first. Since I first saw you, I've only heard you curse. Have you finally given up?"
Yoongi ignored his words. He looked at me. "He's not well; he wouldn't last a day in there." Then he looked up at Dongsun again. His heavy eyelids threatened to close his eyes. "Take me instead."
The man's eyes widened, and mine did too. Unlike me, he burst into loud laughter. "You think you're in better shape? You can't even keep your eyes open."
"I don't give a fuck. Take me to that fucking room or wherever the hell you want. Do whatever the fuck you want, but leave Jungkook fucking alone!" he raged, clenching his free hand into a fist.
Dongsun laughed again. "Damn, that foul mouth of yours is always ready, huh?" Then he stood up, shaking Yoongi's hand off his ankle. "Take him," he ordered the two men, who dropped me to the ground. They lifted Yoongi by the arms and dragged him roughly out of the room.
"No…" I murmured, crawling on the damp floor. They shut the door in my face. "No… No, Hyung. HYUNG!" I grabbed the iron bars and pulled myself up. My knees were trembling. I peeked through the opening and saw Dongsun stopping to talk to a man in his thirties. He seemed to be an officer like him.
My eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when I recognized Seokjin-hyung behind them. They had taken him too. Two other men were holding him by the arms.
"Is this the last one?" Dongsun asked the officer. He nodded. Seokjin had his eyes fixed on Yoongi. His expression was unreadable.
"With this one, we're done. How about the kid?"
"I've changed my plans," Dongsun replied, turning to look at Yoongi. "The wild beast has decided to be tamed. I couldn't pass up this opportunity."
"I see. In that case, I'll take care of Jungkook."
Yoongi's head shot up. Dongsun spoke before he could say anything. "Give him a few days, Seojoon. I don't think he's well physically. Give him time to recover, or you'll end up with a corpse in a day." The man nodded, and Dongsun walked away with Yoongi. Seokjin leaned towards him, and they managed to exchange a few words before being dragged away. I read their lips.
"You have to hold on. Promise me, Yoongi," Seokjin whispered.
"I promise," Yoongi replied. "I won't stoop to their level."
They were separated, and my view was blocked by Seojoon's face as he positioned himself in front of the bars. I looked at him. His expression was so serious that it scared me more than Dongsun's. He made sure Dongsun was gone and handed me something through the bars. I grabbed it hesitantly with trembling hands.
It was a photo. It depicted a beautiful girl with black and purple hair, with two bright blue eyes. I shivered thinking they were identical to Dongsun's. In some way, she reminded me of him. She was sitting on a white garden swing, surrounded by greenery. She had joined her thumbs and index fingers to form a heart and wore a white blouse with three-quarter sleeves along with a lilac skirt that reached her feet. Her smile was dazzling, and her eyes radiated boundless love for life. She was breathtakingly beautiful.
I looked up, confused. “Who is she?” I asked, although I already had an idea.
"Someone you'll have to keep constantly in your thoughts from now on," he whispered in a way that made me shudder. I was right. This guy was even more psychotic than Dongsun. He gave me a smile that chilled my blood. We were so close that I could feel his breath tickling my face.
"You and I are going to have a lot of fun together, Jeon Jungkook."
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July 22, 2018
“No… No, Hyung. HYUNG!”
Jungkook’s voice echoed in my ears. I woke up with a start and straightened my back. My breath was so rapid that I thought I was suffocating in my sleep. I lowered my head and rubbed my face with both hands. I could feel my heart pounding as if it was about to burst out of my chest. I massaged my sternum, trying to calm those uncontrollable beats.
Another nightmare. Jungkook again.
And again the sensation of not being able to breathe. It had returned after I had spent two days without nightmares and suicidal impulses. I swallowed and let myself fall back, sinking my back into the mattress and my head into the pillow. I spread my arms and closed my eyes.
“Seokjin,” I called. I knew he was always listening. He monitored me twenty-four hours a day. Indeed, after a moment, his voice came through the speakers in the room.
“What’s wrong, Yoongi? Another nightmare?”
“Let me see Jungkook,” I ordered. I must have surprised him, as he didn’t respond. “Lost your tongue?”
“Why do you want to see him?”
“Something made me think of him again,” I admitted, leaving out the fact that I had dreamed about what happened about nine months ago. “I want to see him.”
I heard him sigh. “Alright, just a moment.”
“I’m not moving from here,” I replied sarcastically.
I turned onto my side and let an arm hang over the edge of the bed. I closed my eyes and suddenly remembered the sensation I had felt when those small, soft hands had held me tight and safe. I had felt so good, at peace with the world. As if every problem had vanished into thin air. As if I had never suffered, hated or feared. I laughed at the thought that it had all been a lie. A fleeting, temporary comfort. Still a comfort, but coming from the person I hated more than myself. Why was fate mocking me? Hadn’t I suffered enough?
The lock clicked and the door opened, revealing Seokjin’s tall figure. This time he wasn’t wearing his lab coat. He wore a white sweatshirt with black stripes on the sleeves and black pants with white tennis shoes. This look gave him a younger appearance. It felt like I was back in school.
He didn’t say anything. He just gestured for me to follow him out of the room. I got up from the bed, but as soon as I crossed the threshold, a sense of unease overwhelmed me. I had been confined in that room for over a month. I hadn’t seen anyone except Seokjin… and Hoseok, when he helped me back into bed the other day. I hadn’t said anything to him, and he hadn’t said anything to me. But seeing him had been strange. Strange like the feeling I was experiencing at that moment. Unease. I felt uneasy.
“Yoongi?” Seokjin called. I looked up. “You just need to get used to it again. It’s normal. You’ve been locked in there for a whole month.”
“Because you didn’t want to let me out,” I emphasized.
“No, because you didn’t want to go out. You didn’t want to see anyone, so I thought it best not to push too hard. These things need time to be resolved.”
“There’s nothing to resolve,” I cut in. “It is what it is, get used to it.” Seokjin seemed not to share my pessimism, but for that evening he decided to let it go. And I was grateful for that.
I was surprised when he turned toward the room across from mine. Had I always been so close to him? He opened the door, which of course wasn’t locked, and stepped aside to let me in. I approached hesitantly, and my heart skipped a beat when I began to hear a slow, steady beep coming from inside the room. I stopped in the doorway, and my eyes began to sting when I saw Jungkook’s imposing figure lying in the bed, motionless. He had a respirator attached to his mouth and numerous tubes inserted into both arms. I didn’t dare take another step, but I felt a hand weakly squeeze my shoulder. Seokjin.
“Any improvement?” I asked in a broken voice. I couldn’t hold it back.
“None,” Seokjin admitted. “But we found an unknown substance in his blood.”
I turned abruptly, fixing my eyes on him. I frowned. “What kind of substance?” I asked, noticeably interested.
“We don’t know how to classify it yet. We’re doing various tests, but our research is getting us nowhere.”
I sighed impatiently. I moved closer and sat down in the chair beside the bed. I took the younger’s hand and looked at his face. He was so pale. I buried my face in his cold fingers. “It’s all my fault,” I whispered.
“Yoongi…”
“It’s my fault he’s in this state,” I continued. “It’s my fault he might never wake up again.”
Seokjin seemed to become irritated. He sat in the chair next to mine and placed a hand on my leg. “No one said he won’t wake up. And stop blaming yourself for everything. It’s not your fault, Yoongi. I’ve told you before. You’re just taking responsibility for a crime that doesn’t concern you directly. It wasn’t you who ran over Jungkook.”
I raised my eyes again. I could feel them burning with anger. “But it’s like I did. What do you know about it? You weren’t even there when Jungkook was run over! I saw it all with my own eyes!” I roughly pushed his hand away from my thigh. “You don’t know shit about what happened.”
“Then tell me about it, Yoongi! Why do you keep pushing me away? Why do you keep pushing everyone away? You need to trust me, you need to open up to me. Tell me what they did to you, tell me what they said. Confide in me. We can get rid of the resentment together.” My furious gaze returned to Jungkook, but this didn’t stop Seokjin from continuing his rant. “Every time I try to get close to you, you shut me out. As soon as I try to understand what’s in your heart, you push me away. How can I help you if you don’t let me?”
“I never asked for your fucking help. I never asked for anyone’s help.”
“But you need it! I bet you would open up to Jungkook if he were awake. It’s the first time you’ve shown a desire to go out and meet someone. It’s not that hard. You just need to want it.”
“Get out of here, Seokjin. I don’t want to hear your bullshit anymore.” I turned my head the other way and heard him sigh heavily. He slapped his thighs with force, probably in resignation.
“Fine, as you wish. But I’ll be here in front of the door. In half an hour, you need to return to your room. I can’t leave you alone. I thought you were making some progress, but it seems you’re still a danger to yourself and others.” He got up from the chair and turned to head toward the door until I heard him murmur, “I just hope I don’t regret the choice I made. I accepted someone's help, but I’m aware it might only make things worse.” He hesitated before adding, “I know it could destroy you completely.”
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© 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝. || 𝐔𝐧𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐞𝐝 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝/𝐨𝐫 𝐝𝐮𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬, 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦, 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐡𝐢𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝 || ⚜ 𝐁𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐚_𝐃 ⚜
© 𝐁𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 ❋ 𝓐. 𝓜𝓪𝓵𝓯𝓸𝔂𝓩𝓪𝓫𝓲𝓷𝓲 ❋. 𝐂𝐨𝐩𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐡𝐢𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝.
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sailoryooons · 5 days
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Maybe suga x reader where they watch a scary movie together. One of them is scared and the other pretends to be scared, I don’t care who 😊 just a cute fluffy mess. Friends to crushes, they can confess or not (whatever you want to do) but I just wanna giggle and kick my feet LOL 🥺
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☾ Pairing: Yoongi x gn reader 
☾ Summary: Yoongi hates scary movies. He’ll never tell you that of course, content to suffer through your October scary movie marathon if it means getting to snuggle up to you on the couch. 
☾ Word Count: 1,254
☾ Genre: Humor, Fluff, Mutual Crushes
☾ Rating: SFW 
☾ Warnings: Mentions of being afraid of movies/clowns, Yoongi has Trauma from IT lmao, mentions of movie deaths, unconfessed feelings, a little bit of pining, really nothing else 0 this is short and sweet. 
☾ Published: Sunday, September 15 2024
☾ A/N: I actually love the idea of Yoongi who is afraid of scary movies but watches them because it makes reader happy :) I hope you enjoy it!! 
☾ A/N 2: There are no gendered terms or references to this reader, so I have labeled it as general neutral for the purposes of this fic. 
☾ Disclaimer: All members of BTS are faces and name claims for this story. This is entirely a work of fiction and by no means is meant to be a projection, judgment or representation of real-life people. Any scenarios or representations of the people and places mentioned in works are not representative of real-life scenarios.
Main Masterlist ☾ Ask ☾ Haliween 
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Yoongi has never liked scary movies. He remembers the first time he saw one, having snuck into the living room when his older brother wasn’t watching to curl in the armchair, eyes fixated on the screen. He remembers the way his fear became deep rooted, eyes wide as a killer clown murdered everyone in Derry, dragging them down to the sewers.
He’s hated scary movies since then - especially ones with clowns. 
Yet he can’t help but let you drag him into your annual month-long marathon of Halloween movies. Some of them aren’t so bad - your marathoning isn’t exclusive to things that terrify him and keep him staring up at the ceiling at night with the bathroom door open and lights on. Like Hocus Pocus - that was a great film and he’d slept soundly afterward. 
Tonight is not going to be like that. You’ve primed him for days leading up to tonight, gushing about how Scream is your favorite and you want him to try and guess who the killer is before the big reveal. He’s not very good at guessing, but the way your eyes light up when you open your apartment door to find him with popcorn and soda in hand make it worth it.
A lot of things are worth it with you. Like going to the farmer’s market on a really busy day, or going to some pretentious coffee shop forty minutes away because their rose latte is your favorite, or being dragged to a very crowded bar to see a band that you like. 
Your friendship with Yoongi shouldn’t make sense. You like bright sunny days and going outside on walks, venturing into crowded places to watch people, introducing yourself to new friends and chatting with people at the bar. Yoongi likes cold and rainy days and staying inside, keeping to himself at the few places he’s familiar with, and tucking away in a corner with his headphones. 
He likes to say you adopted him as a joke, but it’s not really a joke. You have adopted him into your friends circle, bringing the quiet boy from your freshman algebra class into the fold. Years later, you still greet him with the same oozing excitement as the first time you introduced yourself, bursting at the seams with kindness. 
“You didn’t cheat and look up anything, right?” you demand, suddenly serious as you sit down on your couch and fold your legs. He smirks and shakes his head, brushing the dark hair out of his eyes as he sits in the middle. “Good. You need to make honest guesses.” 
“Yeah, yeah. I know the rules.”
Your grin is blinding and for a second, the world is nothing but the beat of Yoongi’s thundering heart and your smile. He blinks and shakes it off, watching you from the corner of his eye as you settle into the blankets, throwing the corner toward him to keep him warm. 
Tentatively, he pulls the covers over his knees as he pulls them up onto the couch. The blankets are from your bed so they smell like you, vanilla and cinnamon. Hitting the lights on the back of the couch, you douse your apartment into darkness as the TV flickers to life, opening up the movie’s beginning.
Yoongi’s heart is already pounding. Both at how close you are and at the anticipation for what’s going to come on screen. Slasher movies aren’t his favorite, a little too realistic for him to comfortably watch them. 
Still, he watches with muted interest as Casey answers an old school phone, leaning on a counter while the world’s most unsettling voice talks to her through the receiver. 
“That voice would freak me out,” Yoongi admits. “What’s that one we watched with the you’re gonna die in seven days?” 
“The Ring.”
“Yeah. People need to stop answering phones.”
“You gonna stop answering my phone calls?”
He pouts. “No.” 
Your laugh is like tinkling silver. He grins, pleased as you lean toward him, shifting so that your arms are pressed together and your head is resting on his shoulder. He lets you snuggle him despite the fact that for the next five minutes, he can barely follow what’s happening on screen because his heart is slamming and his thoughts are dizzy. 
Yoongi has no idea if you know how he feels. He doesn’t think you do - there’s no way you’d cuddle up to him and make him flustered and confused if you did. You’re not the kind of person to lead him on, which leaves him stranded in a sea of do you or don’t you like him. 
It’s a puzzle he keeps trying to solve himself without asking you, which has resulted in zero solves or answers. 
Yoongi flinches the first time Ghostface comes on screen, mouth tilting downward. You peer up at him, eyes wide. The TV light reflects in your eyes as you watch him, a question in your gaze. He clears his throat. “Caught me off guard.” 
“Uh huh.” 
Yoongi feels his heart race when Casey begins running across the field on screen. He can almost imagine what it must be like to run for your life, chased by some crazy person in a mask and - 
The movie pauses. He blinks and looks at where you’re watching him, smirking. “What? He asks, eyes wide. “Why’d you pause it.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you don’t like scary movies?”
“What makes you think that?”
“Yoongi, you’re squeezing my thigh.”
He becomes hyper aware that his hand is on your thigh, squeezing tightly as his anxiety increases. He feels warmth spread up his neck and he lets you go, turning away to hide the way his ears and cheeks turn red. You giggle and he squirms under the embarrassment, looking anywhere but you.
“Come on,” you urge. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You like scary movies.”
“So?”
“So,” he emphasizes, pouting. He won’t look at you, suddenly interested in his nail beds as you continue to stare at him. It’s dark in your apartment and you still sit close to him, thigh pressed against his. “I enjoy doing what you enjoy.” 
“We can watch something else.” 
He shakes his head. “Really, it’s okay. I want to find out who the killer is.” 
You chew on your lower lip, the silence heavy for a minute. “Would it help if I held your hand?” His eyes shoot up to look at you, checking if you’re serious. It seems you are, all the humor vanishing from your face as you stare at him with an earnest expression. “Only if you want to.”
“Maybe.”
Your lips twitch in a smile. “What if I told you it would help me if we held hands?”
“Then definitely.” 
When you smile, Yoongi knows you’re onto him. He feels his stomach flip when you lean in close, the smell of vanilla and cinnamon making his head swim as you press a chaste kiss to his cheek. He feels warm all over, fingers and toes buzzing as you settle back into the couch much closer to him. 
He stretches his hand toward you and you link your fingers with his. He grins at the warmth of your palms and the way you tug your laced fingers into your lap, leaning into his shoulder again. Hiding his smile, he relaxes into the back of the couch, ready to take on any scary movie in the world if it means having whatever this is with you.
“Press play,” he urges, leaning his head on yours. “I can definitely do this now.” 
-
TAG LIST
@wobblewobble822 @idkjustlovingbts @teddytae @veronawrites
@bts-ruu @tumeperds @ashtonkeller @ivyrosewater @secfir
@hoseokshobagi @warren-thedarkangel @poptartsandpopstars @itsmina29
@valhallawhispers @yoongiofmine @sumzysworld @vanishingboots
@astroodledream @myynameisbuckyy
If you don't see your tag here, Tumblr would not let me tag you.
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yoursweetestbunny22 · 4 months
Text
Rudy pankow x Co-star!Reader [social media au]
Rudeth
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Liked by madelyncline and 804 236 others
Rudeth just some bts pics from obx s1 🌊 #watchobxonnetflix
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madelynecline don’t post pics of my gf without permission rudy 😠
rudeth sorry not sorry
User23674 white boy of the month 🫡
y/nismywife so…Luna and jj endgame?
user35681 jj and kie way better
madisonbaileybabe 🫣🫣🫣
wh0reforrafecameron spill the tea girllll
User33458 the last pic?!
rudypankowupdates they're part of the same show, it's no big deal
user33458 @rudypankowupdates they would look good together tho
y/nuser
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Liked by rudeth and 234 568 others
y/nuser i made some pancakes and took them to the set!! Everyone liked them, I think I should focus on cooking and forget acting..just sayin🎀
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hichasestokes mother thank you for the food🫡
y/nuser always son🫡 someone needs to take care…your dad💀
user23356 @y/nuser NOT BIG JOHN HAHAHAH😭
drewstarkey why the hate tho?FAN 🙄
y/nuser sorry proactive one love ya
austinnorth55 this pogues nowadays 🙄🙄
rudeth where’s my pancake?!?
y/nuser 🧍🏻‍♀️
user23346 @y/nuser GURL?!?!
jonathandavis @y/nuser smooth yn.REAL SMOOTH
madelyncline @ynuser I feel betrayed
hichasestucks @madelyncline IM SORRY?!
rudeth
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Liked by y/nuser and 890 347 others
rudeth pasta?I love pasta
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y/nuser that’s a coincidence hum
rudeth oh it is?
user2376 @rudeth what’s going on?!😭😭
user2098 THE SECONG PIC!?!I NEED TO KNOW WHO TOOK THAT, POOKIE?!
sabrinamaybank THE ABS?!RUDY IM IM IM AAAAA
hichasestucks and the “no pogue on pogue macking”?🫣🫣
user12765 SIR?!?
user87610 at this point I’m just waiting for the marriage announcement
y/nuser
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Liked by drewstarkey and 347 763 others
y/nuser pasta and 💐
View all 8789 comments
rudeth ❤️ *y/nuser liked*
y/nwifey y’all need a dog?I can bark🐶!!!
user27496 I KNEW ITTTTT..YALL JUST SAY YOURE DATING ALREADY 😜
rudypankowupdates gurl it’s just pasta and flowers
user27496 @rudypankowupdates THE EYES THO?Gurl stop being blind
madisonbaileybabe giggling rn you’re so pretty
y/nuser stop babe you making me blush🫣🫣
Jjbestgirl23 what does Rudy see on her?…
user4567 gurl..you’re getting all pissy when you know you don’t even have a chance with him PLEASEEE
y/nismygirlfriend you’re so pretty just give me a chance 😔
rudeth
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Liked by y/nuser and 987 674 others
rudeth In the depths of my being, you reside as the essence of my existence. With every beat, I confess: I am yours, wholly and eternally.
Love you❤️ @y/nuser
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y/nuser shakespeare’s got nothing on you love 💋
jjlunaendgame SHE’S SO FUNNY ICANT😭
randomuser I GET IT RUDY I GET IT
user3765 HELPHAHAHAHAH
hichasestucks chatgpt?
rudeth don’t be jealous you’ll be my number 1 always
madelyncline @rudeth Shut up u have my girl and now you’re trying to steal my man?😔😔😔😔GET OUT OF HERE
drewstarkey I want to be invited to the wedding
madisonbaileybabe OMG MY BABYS OMG OMG
jonathandavis im so single…
user7654 I VOLUNTEER
Obxoficial: Our Luna and JJ🌊❤️
randomuser THAT’S A CONFIRMATION?!?
rudypankowupdates happy for you…😔
Bunny : this was my first social media au so hope you like it!!
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m-jelly · 6 months
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Sheriff situation
Levi x fem!reader
Modern AU, fluff, romance, being a couple, silly situation, supportive Levi, funny situation.
Levi gets a noise complaint from your neighbour. Suspecting it's about the noises Levi's get you making in the bedroom, he goes to have an awkward conversation but is shocked to find it's about your two cute wind chimes, one of which he got you. Levi has to stop you from getting too sassy.
@ladycheesington @levisbrat25 @nyxiieluna @li-anne @galactict3a @youre-ackermine @thebobaprincess @2moth-anon2 @cypidity @nbinairyn @bts-spnlvr12 @darkstarlight82 @emilyyyy-08 @notgoodforlife @demonic-bird
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"Sheriff?"
Levi lifted his head and gazed at a lady in his contact department. "Afternoon, Angela. Everything okay?"
She smiled at him. "Got an interesting call."
"Oh yeah?"
She read out an address before smiling a little. "Ring a bell?"
It did, it was your neighbour's address. "What's wrong?" Worry and fear surged through him as he rose to his feet. He called your name with love. "Is she okay?"
"I don't know if she will be. The call is a noise complaint."
A deep blush went over his cheeks. "Noise..."
"You been making noise at your girlfriend's place?"
"I'll go and see what's happening." He grabbed his jacket and yanked it on. "I probably won't come back as it is near the end of my shift."
"Have fun."
He gulped hard and ignored the giggles from the ladies who took the calls. The only thing Levi could think about with noise had to be how much he made you moan when you were intimate in the bedroom. It's not like you both were screaming the house down or breaking the bed, but he was sure last night the window was open because it was hot and he was doing so many things to you for so long.
The drive over to your home wasn't long, but Levi's mind was racing with what could possibly be going on. Your safety was his concern. Levi knew how much of an ass your old neighbour was. It all started with his lewd comments about your body when you moved in, along with watching you in your home and complaining that you put up blinds to stop him.
Once you protected yourself from his views, you next had to protect yourself in the garden. It became easy for you when Levi and you dated because you were always over Levi's. As a result of rarely being home, the old man was complaining about every single thing you did.
Levi pulled up and expected to see the old man waiting for him and you hiding in your house, but instead, he saw the two of you at the fence shouting at each other. He was now very concerned for your safety.
Levi jogged over as you shouted at the old man that he was a dirty pervert. "Tch, oi! You two, stop with the shouting. Reduce the anger and talk to me. I need to know what's going on."
The old man pointed at you with his bony finger. "I'm sick of you. You accuse me of terrible things and all you've been doing is torturing me!"
Levi sighed. "How does she torture you."
He pointed. "Those wind chimes! They are too loud! They go on all day and night! Surely there is a law against it!"
Levi pinched the bridge of his nose. "So, you demanded for the sheriff to come because of wind chimes?"
"They're too loud! I know there is a law about excessive noise! She is violating that law!"
Levi groaned. "Sir, no laws are being violated here. Wind chimes don't make excessive noise."
"They do for me!" He huffed. "You're the sheriff! You should support me! I'm an OAP you know! I built this country."
You laughed. "Oh really? What part did you build, huh?"
Levi said your name sternly. "Don't."
You pouted. "Why am I being told off when he's the asshole!"
The old man shook his head. "See what I have to put up with? I was always so nice to her. She's been pushing my buttons and now she has those damn wind chimes. I'm an old sick lonely man."
"Go to the hospital then if you're that sick and maybe call some friends over if you're lonely."
He glared at you. "I have no one!"
You smirked. "Wonder why. Not like your attitude and spying on young women is the issue."
"I want her arrested!"
Levi let out a long sigh. "For what?"
You showed Levi your wrists. "I wouldn't mind you arresting me, sugar."
"Behave."
The old man shook his head. "She should be arrested and locked up! Someone like her should not be in society."
You laughed. "Then who would you try and perv on huh?"
"I am no pervert! You always pick on me and lie. Kids these days are all the same!"
You rolled your eyes. "I'm not a kid! I'm an adult. Plus, you calling a kid makes you perving on me far worse!"
"You just hate old people! You pick on me! Us old people are forgotten about!"
You growled. "Oh please, you get so much shit handed to you. You just like being the victim all the time!"
He pointed at the wind chime. "I want this gone! Both of them."
Levi stepped over and put his arm out. "Sir, don't grab that. Those wind chimes are her property."
"They're terrible things! They're ugly! They need to go!"
"Sir, touch them and you will get into trouble."
The old man poked Levi's chest. "You're taking her side because she's probably polishing your gun! You're sleeping with criminals."
You leaned around Levi and smirked. "You're just jealous that he can get some of this and you never will."
The old man glared. "You'll be begging me to give it to you! When I was younger."
"Yeah, when you were younger, you're not now."
"I will shove those chimes."
You grabbed one and shook it in his face. "Oh no so much noise!"
Levi tried not to laugh at your actions. He softly called your name. "Stop shaking your chimes."
You stopped and mumbled. "Thought you liked it."
"I do." He winked at you making you smile. "How about you put those cute chimes at my place?"
Your eyes sparkled. "Really?"
He nodded. "Yeah. I mean, we've been a couple for two months and I can't get enough of you. So, move in with me and you'll be far away from this man. You can have wind chimes and you can sunbathe in my garden because my home is on the edge of town."
You nodded as tears filled your eyes. "Yes, yes I'd love to."
"Perfect. Now, no more shaking your chimes at other men." He nodded to your home. "Get pack as much of your stuff as you can and I'll drive you home. We'll pack the rest this weekend to move you in."
You kissed Levi's cheek. "Okay!"
Levi turned to the old man. "I know what you've been doing with her. I've been staying over often, so I've seen what you've been up to."
The old man went pale. "Sheriff, I was just...I...uh..."
"I want to drag your ass to a cell, but I lack evidence." He gave the man a look of murder. "Hurt her, touch her, pester her or do anything against her or any woman again and I will be forced to take action. Do not test me."
He nodded. "Y-Yes sheriff!"
"Now, go inside and be a well-behaved citizen of this town. Myself and others in this town of sick of your shit. Now go." Levi watched the man race inside. "Tch, damn pervert." He turned and walked all the way to your side of the fence and into your home. "Darling?"
You pushed your full suitcase down the stairs. "I'm here! I packed clothes and some cuddly toys."
Levi eyed the bag. "You don't need cuddly toys."
You frowned. "Why not? I love them."
"I'm your cuddly toy." He pouted. "You're supposed to hug me, not them."
You giggled as you wrapped your arms around Levi's neck. "You jealous of my cuddly toys?"
"I am." He hugged you tightly. "You're mine." He kissed you and hummed in happiness. "Can't believe you shook your wind chime at him."
You laughed. "Just wanted to make things exciting for you."
He smiled softly. "You're incredible. I love you."
"Love you too."
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silantryoo · 2 years
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PR STUNT ; kim minji
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idol! kim minji x fem! le sserafim! reader
SYNOPSIS ;  y/n didn’t hate kim minji, but because of some idiot decided to out their ‘relationship’ and the need to cover up their senior's scandal, she gets caught in a not-so-ideal situation. she just hopes that she can get through it without any problems.
TAGS ;  idol x idol! reader, reader is related to kim jennie (doesn’t appear here), daddy issues, wlw, angst, fluff, idol au, enemies to friends to lovers, slow burn, crack, smau, happy ending
WARNINGS ; strong language, drama, cyberbullying, death threats, mentions of iz*one disbandment, overworking, mentions of emotional abuse, underlying mental illness
FEATURING ; newjeans, le sserafim, ahn yujin, mentions of ex-iz*one members, ive, bts, txt’s soobin, nmixx’s jang kyujin
STATUS ; COMPLETED!
PLAYLIST!!
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PROFILES. LE SARAH FIN. NEW SKIRTS.
CHAPTERS.  
00. assert my dominance
01. fuck dispatch
02. kkura-unnie can pull?
03. what a whore
04. problem??
05. KIM JENNIE?
06. it begins
07. feral hyein
bonus: the publicity date
08. no dating (y/n vers.) pt.1
09. no dating (y/n vers.) pt.2
10. not a date (minji vers.)
11. pr the airbender
12. bridgit mendler-sunbaenim
13. baby’s first scandal
14. #goinginsane
15. pre-(not)date checkup
16. not date dos + new cast member?
17. ahn yujin, emotional support dog
18. wrong acc mb
19. bestie zone
20. the public knows (TW)
bonus: iz*one’s ahn yujin?
21. ahn yujin appreciator
22. best unnie, yunjin-unnie
23. good luck y/n
24. coupling
25. blind much?
26. wait why are they cute?
27. phoning w/ minji + y/n
28. privileges obtained
29. third wheel
30. r u stupid?
bonus: minji the simp
31. dreams are (not) a girls best friend
32. i’ll break your knees
33. #nongfproblems
34. y/n’s kazuha era
35. ily
36. fruity
37. food poisoning(?)
38. realizations
bonus: brain cells at work
39. #notpooingjustspilling
bonus: siri, how do you deal with daddy issues? (TW)
40. best unnie, yunjin-unnie (pt.2)
41. honey, you’ve got a storm coming
42. Ioml <3
43. best (non)girlfriend
44. feral… y/n?
45. *MY GIRL
46. hanni pham, the homophobe
47. running in circles
48. WHY DO YOU HATE ME??
49. the start of the end
50. confessions of an idiot (pt.1)
51. confessions of an idiot (pt.2)
52. confessions of an idiot (pt. 3)
bonus: confessions of an idiot (irl)
53. WE DID IT
54. Y/N-SUNBAE ILY
55. death to jang kyujin
56. break up era
57. it was fun while it lasted
epilogue, after three months
epilogue bonus: after three months (pt. 2)
XTRA: happy new year, unnie
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taglist (CLOSED)!!
@fav9yu @gojosrug @lizseos @captivq @invusblog @writingficsblog @wonyoluvr @limbforalimb @lethalvenus @archerheejin @bibrinastan @ahnneyong @theeyoon @phamminji @chaersly @misumiausworld @afiaaaa19 @yumtooki @oshyci @txtbrainrot @falling-intoo-deep @0310lvr @yizhoutv @rinpopz @serenitygrace24 @noiacha @marimo-anura @sserajeans @cfvgbhndun-new-blog @rd0265667 @li0ilthecxnt @dmndtears @rosiehrs @yeridaenggi @spritin @cecedrake2217 @meltingbluess @jeonsy98 @haerinstolemyhrt @ssambf @awkwardtoafault @babycubchae @perfectsunlight @forever-in-the-sky2
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Eunoia // Ch. 25
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eunoia (noun): beautiful thinking, the possession of a well-balanced mind, which exhibits goodwill and kindness
Pairings: Hybrid! BTS x reader
Summary: You are a world famous director and you have dedicated your life to your job.You have everything you could ever dream of; wealth, recognision, talent, your friends and family. But loneliness isn’t cured by success. So what happens when you somehow rescue seven hybrids? Can they fill the void?
Genre: Angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, eventual smut
Word Count: 9.2k+
Warnings: past abuse, past sexual abuse, cursing, past violence, mentions of blood, panic attacks
Masterlist
The taglist is now closed.
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Trained in waking up early and pulling all-nighters because of filming, you were used to witnessing the sun rise. Usually, you didn’t pay it much attention. The sun rose every day and you had other more important things to do than watch it go through the same motions. You were rushing to leave, making coffee and answering texts on your phone or you were too tired to do anything other than go straight to bed and close the blinds.
You had forgotten how beautiful it was, how the quiet of the early morning glowed in soft orange. Only you and Seokjin were awake, snuggled up on the large white couch on the balcony on the main floor. Your feet were laying on his lap and his arm was wrapped around your waist.
You had woken up early, fading images of the red ballroom and empty eyes haunted your sleep as much as you tried to bury them during the day. Thankfully, Jimin hadn’t been there when you had woken up, drenched in sweat and grasping wildly at the sheets to remind yourself that you were at the Castle. That it had been more than a week since you had been in that ballroom.
It would go away. It had to. It was over. Nothing happened to you. You would get over it.
 You got up, stretched your sore muscles from all the walking the previous day and put on some music to take your mind off the long green dress and paddle numbers, and started your day. No one else was supposed to be awake so early in the morning but when you went to the kitchen to make yourself a cup of coffee, Seokjin was already there, mixing pancake batter with a large wooden spoon. 
Putting your arms around him, you had watched him work until he sent you away, claiming that you were distracting him. It wasn’t your fault that his neck looked in desperate need of kissing and that your mouth had trailed downwards subconsciously. Since you weren’t wanted in the kitchen, you went outside to the balcony to savor the sharp air before the sun appeared on the horizon.
Seokjin joined you soon with two cups of coffee. “It feels like a mug of hot coffee would be more appropriate, but the weather’s too hot,” you had joked.
He had made your favorite iced coffee in the way too-expensive coffee machine you had purchased when you first got the house. Another one of your impulsive purchases. But it was worth it. It made some of the best coffee you had ever tasted. The only coffee above that was made by a small coffee shop nestled in a quiet alleyway in Paris. The perfect amount of milk and sugar, not too sweet and not too bitter. 
You were both a little tired from your little trip to the lake. A sweet kind of pull in your chest, not easily noticeable. You had returned as the sky grew darker and had ordered takeout for dinner, which you enjoyed spread around the garden. Surprisingly, almost everything in the baskets had been devoured during your time at the lake. Alice had been reluctant to leave but you had promised her that she was welcome to visit you again soon. She had hugged each of you tightly—even Yoongi, who didn’t seem to mind at all—and promised that she would be back to play more.
“She’s a little hurricane,” Seokjin said. He was glowing with the sunrise stroking his face. “She reminds me of you a little. Was that what you were like when you were little?”
“I was never that cute,” you joked. Your aunt would argue but while Alice was a hurricane, sweeping up everyone in her way and winning them over, you had been a nightmare, difficult to handle, not listening to anyone, and independent to a fault. “Or that social. I would like to believe that I contributed a little to the shaping of her personality but honestly, her parents are both amazing. They raised her really well and she was already incredible to begin with. She will become a much better person than me.”
He looked down at your legs resting on his lap. “That will be hard. You are probably the best person I know.” He shrugged as if what he said didn’t matter, as if it didn’t make flowers bloom in your chest.
You caressed his cheek, prompting him to look at you. “That might be a little worrying but thank you. You are one of the best people I know too. Shhhh,” you quieted down his protests. “If you can say that about me, I can say that about you.”
“I haven’t done anything special. Nothing like you. You-”
“Stop that.” You laid two fingers on his lips and he obediently stilled them under your touch. “First, you don’t have to do anything special. Who defines special either way? Some of the kindest, most loyal, amazing people I know show these qualities in small ways, that doesn’t make them any less special. Second, who says you didn’t do anything special? Who was there for Jungkook when he distanced himself from everyone else? Who cooks for us every day and takes care of us? Who is always trying to cheer us up when someone is feeling down? Who-?”
“Enough, enough,” he interrupted you, shaking his head. His human ear and cheeks were stark red at all the praise. “I know I’m amazing, that’s enough.”
You laughed and captured his lips in a kiss. Warmth, more comforting than what the sun could provide, filled your insides as you tangled your fingers in his soft hair. He opened his lips for you and you slowly explored the inside of his mouth. You had always enjoyed kissing but nothing compared to the kisses you had shared with your hybrids the past few months.
Lazy mornings were rare for you. There was always one reason or another to be running around the house in a hurry to leave or lock yourself in your office. You were hostage to an endless need to always be productive. That’s what mornings were for. Maybe you had been completely wrong because this one was one of the best mornings you had ever experienced.
Seokjin heard the footsteps on the stairs before you did, turning his head around to watch Jungkook, Jimin, and Namjoon climb up. You called for them and Jungkook and Jimin ran to you, squeezing themselves between you. Namjoon followed laughing and sat down next to Seokjin, throwing an arm around his shoulders.
Hoseok, Yoongi, and Taehyung appeared soon and Seokjin left to go plate the breakfast and bring it to the balcony. You didn’t eat on the balcony often, mostly because of the low table that made it a little uncomfortable, but no one wanted to move. Jungkook and Namjoon went with Seokjin inside to help but when you moved to do the same, Jimin wrapped his arms around your waist tightly and wouldn’t let you go.
“No, you are staying with me!” he exclaimed and proceeded to bury his face in your belly, purring.
Hoseok looked at you in amusement and you shrugged your shoulders, used to Jimin’s antics by now. The three of them took one of the other two couches while the five of you remained squeezed in one. Yoongi looked adorably rumpled from sleep, messy hair and heavy eyes, the stark opposite of Hoseok, who was wide awake and energetic as usual. Taehyung wasn’t the statue he was the first few days but he remained perfectly kept and quiet.
You filled your plate with three pancakes and your favorite toppings and dug in. The conversation returned to your trip to the lake.
“When can we go again?” Jungkook asked, chewing his pancakes with passion.
You cut another piece of your pancakes. “You can go whenever you want, it isn’t that far from the house.”
He pouted. “I meant all of us together.”
“That’s… a little harder,” you said. “I’m back at work next week and I have a full schedule. You can go together though. John and Alice could join you even if I’m not there.”
Jungkook’s bottom lip stuck out even further. “It isn’t the same without you.”
“If there is a day I finish work early, I might join you.” You could barely drag your feet back home most days after work and the trek to the lake would feel like hell, but you would try for them.
Namjoon seemed to know exactly what you were thinking. “You are too tired after work for that. After working for so many hours we can’t expect you to trek down to the lake. You come back after the sun has set or just as it’s setting, it would be exhausting for you to walk for half an hour down to the lake in the dark and then in an hour or so walk back again.”
You wanted to protest but you knew he was right. Although your work wasn’t physically demanding, you spent long hours on your feet, instructing the actors and the crew and checking in with different departments. By the time you were home even dragging your feet to the garden for dinner was a struggle.
You reached for Jungkook’s hand, rubbing your thumb in circles to soothe him. “We’ll figure something out, yeah? If I take a day off–When I take a day off,” you corrected yourself, “we can do something fun. We could go to the lake or we could do something else. Los Angeles is full of places to visit and activities to try.”
Jungkook seemed to think about it for a few seconds before perking up and asking if you could visit a gallery he had seen on the internet. You were quick to agree as Jimin joined as well, asking you about all the places he wanted to visit. You had told them before that they were free to go out without you anywhere they liked, you had printed their papers just in case so they could have them in case the Hybrid Services asked any questions, but they had yet to step further than the Castle grounds and the forest alone. John could also accompany them but no one had taken you up to your offer.
As you were finishing breakfast your phone started ringing. One of the producers of Six of Crows was calling.
“Sorry, I have to take this one,” you said, answering the call.
You ended up having to go down to your office to look up some files on your computer. As the premiere date approached, you would be getting more calls like this. Post-production was finished by now and the movie was nearly ready to be shown on the big screen but there were still a few tiny details that needed fine-tuning.
Ending the call, you checked your emails since you were already in front of your computer. You would probably go to the studios later in the day to speak with a few members of your team on the Raven Cycle project. You wouldn’t stay long but it meant that you had to schedule your day around it. Your break hadn’t ended yet you were already overwhelmed with work. Your to-do list stretched on and on, seemingly endless.
Your back and neck were getting stiff because of all the sitting and lounging around. You should start doing some exercises again. During your break, you had only been to the gym once and it was only two floors down. You should get back into the habit but you were great at finding excuses not to go. You were too busy, too tired, too preoccupied.
There was a knock on the door. You looked at the time at the bottom right corner of your computer screen and realized it was four hours later.
“Come in,” you called. You rolled your neck and heard the little pops. You desperately needed some exercise. And a massage. And an improved posture probably.
Hoseok opened the door with his elbow as he carried a tray inside your office. “I come bearing gifts,” he said with a wide heart-shaped smile. It was like the room instantly brightened. If the sun was personified, it would be Hoseok.
“What have you brought me?” you asked, making space on your desk for the tray. You had to look through some of your old files and they covered most of the surface. You stacked them into piles quickly, to be organized properly at a later time.
“Jin made fruit salad and we have some leftover muffins from yesterday. Jungkook made the juice, it’s banana and cherry!”
The fruit salad was a mix of mango, strawberries, watermelon, blackberries, peaches, and berries. A vanilla muffin was next to it and a tall glass of juice. “Everything looks delicious. Thank you.”
You moved to grab the fork and winced when you pulled on your stiff muscles. Hoseok’s smile faded. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry,” you were quick to say. “I’ve just been sitting in this chair a lot these past few days and my back is complaining. Really, that’s on me.”
“I…” He hesitated for a moment. “I could give you a massage if you’d like. I’m not a professional but I… I used to give massages to my past owner often. He was an idol so he danced and performed a lot and I had learned from masseurs how to do it. I could do that for you if you liked.”
“You don’t have to. It’s just a stiff back, it’ll go away when I stop sitting all day.”
A massage sounded like heaven at that moment but you could do without it. Giving massages could be tiring and Hoseok didn’t have to do that just because you had bad posture and had stopped going regularly to the gym. If you really needed it, you could pay a masseur to come to your house. It seemed silly so you never did, but you could.
“I want to,” he said eagerly, his tail standing at attention. “I can make you feel better, I promise. If you’re comfortable with that, of course.”
You searched his face for any sign that he didn’t actually want to do it but you found nothing. “Okay, then. I would love a massage right now.”
“Yay! I will do my best,” Hoseok promised. “Let’s attack those muscle knots! Gently of course.” You giggled as he came to stand behind you. He pretended to crack his fingers before settling them on your shoulders. You were wearing a shirt with spaghetti straps and his hands were warm on your bare skin, which buzzed in anticipation. “Lean forward a little. Yeah, that’s perfect.”
He dug his fingers on either side of your neck and you had to bite your lip to stop a very embarrassing sound from slipping out. It sent a current through your whole body like you went numb to everything except the feeling of his hands on you. He kneaded your muscles, progressively adding more pressure. You closed your eyes, your body relaxing, losing some of the tension.
“That feels good,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady.
“I told you.” You could hear the satisfied smile on his face even though you kept your eyes closed.
One by one, your strings unraveled and your body felt lighter, as if you could float away if he pulled his hands away. He worked on the knots on the back of your neck and around it before he moved on to your shoulders and shoulder blades. You had received massages before–you had visited spas with friends on several occasions–but this felt different. You forgot about work and all the things you had to do, all the million little things that were hanging over your head, and for a moment you let yourself relax.
♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩
The forest was still, bracketed by the almost black of the night. There were no lights that Yoongi could see coming from inside, even though you said there were multiple holiday homes around the lake. The Castle stood alone, like a real castle guarding the forest.
Hoseok was humming along to a pop song that was playing on his phone, it was at a low volume so his humming was almost as loud as the music. It was late into the night, everyone in the house having already retreated to their rooms. Yoongi didn’t care much about the song, it was generic at best. The vocals weren’t great and the beat was the same beat that every song used this summer with a little tweaking. But Hoseok liked it so he didn’t say anything.
The fox hybrid was sprawled on his bed, his eyes half closed as he moved his head to the music. His silk nightshirt had ridden up to expose a sliver of smooth tanned skin and Yoongi’s eyes kept being drawn to it.
“Anything interesting out there?” Hoseok asked. Yoongi shrugged. “You have been standing there for half an hour. Don’t look at me like that, you have.”
He raised his eyebrows, doubting that it had been that long, but moved away from the balcony door, sitting down on his bed. “It’s the same every night.”
“And you still look every night.” Hoseok turned off the music and stretched. His shirt rode up higher.
Yoongi looked down at his hands. “It’s calming. There is something about the trees and the lake, being away from the city. It’s quiet.”
His ears picked up the soft shuffling before a weight dipped into the bed next to him. “It’s nice, isn’t it? Has it really been only five months since we’ve been here? Less than that? I can’t imagine living in the city again, too much noise.”
Yoongi had lived his whole life in cities, he was used to their noise and the way it never went away. The sound of cars and motorbikes, people talking and shouting. It was never quiet. Not the way it was out here.
He wanted to tell Hoseok that he would never have to live in the city again but he couldn’t. On one hand, your job could lead you anywhere and Yoongi had a feeling that wherever you went, they would follow you, just like Virginia. On the other hand, although some part of him insisted that this was permanent, that this life they had built here wouldn’t be taken from them, he knew that the world wasn’t so kind. Sometimes, he stayed up at night thinking about it while Hoseok dreamed. He gazed at the forest to remind himself that they were still here, in this small paradise on earth, and then contemplated all the ways this could end. His mind wasn’t kind to him on those nights.
“Virginia was like this too,” Hoseok continued. “I miss it a little. The countryside was pretty and the house too. Almost like a fairytale. Do you think we’ll go back again?”
Hoseok’s hand was fidgeting on his thigh and Yoongi grabbed it to still it. “Maybe. She will have to film another season after this one. If this show is as successful as they say, there will be a few more seasons to come. They built sets and everything there.”
“I hadn’t thought of that.” Hoseok scooted closer to him and laid his head on his shoulder, their hands intertwined. “Do you think she will rent the same house? I want to go back there. It felt like home.”
Yoongi refrained from telling him that wherever he was, it felt like home. It was something someone more expressive than Yoongi would say, instead he said, “We can ask her. I don’t think she’ll mind. If it isn’t booked at the time, we could stay there again.”
“I’ll recruit Jiminie, she can’t say no to him,” he said, nuzzling closer to Yoongi’s neck, almost scenting him.
“She can’t say no to any of you.”
Hoseok hummed, his breath warming Yoongi’s skin and the scent of cinnamon tickling his lungs. “She wouldn’t say no to you either. If you ever asked her for anything.”
Yoongi didn’t know what to think about that. If he believed it. Yoongi had been trying to do better, trying to be a better person than he had been at the beginning. He would hate himself if he ever put you through what he had before. He would be making it up to you for his whole life. He wasn’t the same as the other hybrids, the same courtesy shouldn’t be extended to him.
Hoseok’s lips brushed his neck, light as a feather, and Yoongi shivered at the touch. Scenting each other wasn’t something new, they had been doing that since they escaped the ring. Before that, they would brush their wrists together through the bars of their cages, longing for the small comfort of each other’s scent. After Yoongi had disappeared, Hoseok had been touching and scenting him more as if he was afraid that he would slip through his fingers.
Some nights, Hoseok would crawl into his bed in the middle of the night and cling on to him. “Stay,” Hoseok would say. He didn’t tell him what his nightmares were about, he didn’t have to.
Yoongi vowed to himself to never leave him again. He would bite, scratch, and kick his way to him if he ever had to.
He had a lot to regret about that first month. He hadn’t only hurt you, he had hurt everyone else too. His own nightmares persisted, leaving him clutching the sheets, with his back to Hoseok, staying deadly still so he wouldn’t wake him up. So no one would know that those days still haunted him even though he wasn’t the one who had suffered.
In some of his dreams, the hybrid ring got to him before you did and punished him for escaping, before stabbing an injection in his neck and hauling him to the ring for one last fight. In others, it was Hoseok that they took and those were worse. They found him when he was looking for him and Yoongi could do nothing to stop them, voiceless with his feet rooted to the floor.
In some rare ones, he never made it out of the house. Namjoon threw him against the wall and held him there, looking more like a vengeful god than the real Namjoon. His sharp teeth gleamed viciously as he sunk them into Yoongi’s neck, breaking the skin and ripping out everything that was keeping him alive.
Hoseok pulled back, his eyes searching Yoongi’s face. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Thinking.” Of course, Hoseok would notice his thoughts spiraling. Yoongi had mastered hiding all emotions from his face but Hoseok could see right through any masks he crafted.
“You looked a little lost there for a moment,” he said, drawing closer to him again. “You can talk to me, you know.” He spoke almost jokingly but he couldn’t hide the tendrils of hurt in his voice. “I know you like to keep some things to yourself… But I’m here for you. I would never judge you, I swear.”
Yoongi was a coward. After his talk with Jimin, he had been planning to tell him everything but he kept putting it off. It was never the right moment, it could wait.
“I know,” Yoongi said quietly, squeezing Hoseok’s hand. “I want to tell you. I think you deserve that after everything.”
Hoseok frowned. “It isn’t about what I deserve. I just want to know so I can help. So I can understand you better. Nothing you say can ever change the way I see you. Nothing. You were there for me when I thought my life was over, that everything was over. You saved me, Yoongi. I would have died in there if it hadn’t been for you. I would trust you with my life. But sometimes, when you don’t tell me things—important things—it makes me feel like you don’t trust me at all.”
Yoongi’s heart gave a terrible bang. “That isn’t true. I trust you. I trust you more than anyone. I trust you more than I trust myself. It’s just… It’s hard to tell you when I want to forget.”
“I understand,” Hoseok said, his gaze falling on their joined hands on Yoongi’s lap. “But I don’t think you can forget either way.”
“You’re right, I can’t. And I never will.” It was too big, too cruel. For worse or for better, it had changed who he was to his core. He was who he was because of what had happened to him and Jimin. He had met both Jimin and Hoseok because of that monster. “But I want you to know now.”
So he told him everything. He detached himself from his words and numbed his feelings, because he was afraid that if he didn’t, he wouldn’t be able to sleep. He started from the beginning, from his first owner to the terrible end. He couldn’t look at him as he spoke, focusing on their connected hands. Hoseok’s scent soured until Yoongi could barely recognize it. But he had to power on.
When he was finished, Hoseok shot up, wrapping his arms around him impossibly hard and buried his face in Yoongi’s neck. There was wetness brushing against his throat and Yoongi only hugged him tighter.
“I’m sorry.” Hoseok’s voice was breaking and Yoongi hated that he was the cause for it, even though it was better this way. “It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t. I’m so sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize.” He brought his wrist to Hoseok’s neck, gently scenting him. They both needed it. “You saved me too. You saved me, Hobi.”
And sleep claimed them like that, wrapped up in each other with dried tears on their cheeks.
♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩
Taehyung lay still in his bed, not making a sound. Phantom pains spread over his body, squeezing and squeezing until nothing was left of him. His head was loud but the sounds were muffled as if he was submerged underwater.
The room was illuminated by the soft light from the lamp next to his bed. He left it on every night. It was the same pattern, his nightmares not allowing him to rest more than a few hours at a time. There were new ones now. Ones of the red ballroom, the people in the chairs turning into monsters and dragging their claws all over his skin. You stood among them in your green dress, watching as it happened, your face empty.
Taehyung opened his eyes. He could see the forest from his room. He had never been to a forest before coming to the Castle, had never even seen one. It was majestic, the dark greens and browns, the way the branches reached towards the sky. Upwards and upwards.
He closed his eyes again. His tears had long dried when sleep swept him away again.
♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩
Your heartbeat rattled your chest as if being chased by an invisible force with no escape. You swallowed down the bitterness in your mouth and willed the sharp images of your nightmare away. They were so clear, the red curtains and the shiny floors. The taste of the expensive champagne and the hors d’ oeuvre on your tongue. Long dresses swayed at your vision's edge, silk, velvet, and satin. Steady hands held guns aimed at you, they went off with a terrible scream. You woke up.
You were awake. You were in your room in the Castle. You were safe.
You tried to calm down your erratic breathing. Jimin was sleeping next to you and the last thing you wanted was to wake him up in the middle of the night and worry him. Clenching your teeth, you silently counted each breath. Were your hands shaking? They felt like they were shaking.
One, two, three.
Slower. Try slower.
Did your hands stop shaking? You gripped the fabric of your nightgown.
One, two–
A sleepy voice calling your name disturbed the murky waters of your mind. “Are you okay?”
You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. It was over. You were in Los Angeles. You were fine. Nothing had happened to you, no one had questioned you. You had gotten out. You were fine.
“Did I wake you up?” you asked. Your voice sounded weak even to your ears.
You heard the sheets rustle as Jimin moved closer. “Can I hug you?”
In the darkness of the room, you couldn’t see him well, only the shape of his body. “You don’t have to ask.”
“You are shaking.”
Were you? So it wasn’t just your hands. Another deep breath. Force your muscles to relax like the pieces of a machine.
“I am okay now, don’t worry. Come here.” You opened your arms and Jimin crawled into them, hugging your waist and laying his head on your collarbones. “Go back to sleep, kitten.”
Jimin shook his head. “Not if you don’t. What happened?”
“Just a bad dream, it was nothing.” The lies tasted bitter on your tongue. Were they lies though? It should be nothing, it shouldn’t be haunting you like that. Nothing had happened to you, you reminded yourself as if you repeated it enough times maybe the nightmares would go away. “I just need a few minutes to forget it.”
“Do you want to talk about it? Maybe that could be better than forgetting,” Jimin said.
But forgetting was the goal. Or at least getting rid of the nightmares that shouldn’t still be happening. It was over and you were okay. You were okay. There was no reason to worry Jimin, not when you weren’t the one who had suffered. You got dressed up, drank some champagne and made small talk. It wasn’t the end of the world.
“You don’t have to worry about this, it’ll go away on its own.” You run a hand up his back to comfort him. “My brain is just playing tricks on me.”
Jimin’s hand sought out your own and intertwined your fingers. He was quiet for a few moments before speaking, “Is this about the auction?”
You stilled. He couldn’t have known. You hadn’t mentioned it to anyone. And what right did you have to complain about it? You composed yourself. “How did you guess?”
“You have been… different since you came back. You have been lost in your head. I know you are tired and it’s hard with Taehyung now but you can talk to us if you want to. It must have been really scary.” He drew closer to you, gripping your hand tighter.
“I wasn’t alone. I had John there with me.”
“That doesn’t mean it wasn’t scary,” he whispered. “We were scared for you. We thought– We trusted you but we were scared.”
Your fingers tangled in his hair and rubbed behind his cat ears which you knew would relax him. “I’m sorry I scared you.”
“It’s okay. Taehyung is here now.”
Regardless of how many nightmares you had and the tightening in your chest whenever you saw the color of blood. Regardless of the constant fear of being discovered that would never go away. You could never regret what you had done. Not for a moment. Just thinking of Taehyung in that man’s hands evaporated any doubts you had about your decision.
Jimin nosed softly at your collarbones. “We love you. It’s okay to be scared, you can share it with us. You can share it with me.”
“I’m not scared,” you said. It didn’t matter that it sounded like you were lying to yourself. “It’s over. It’s been more than a week since it happened. I’m the last person who should be having nightmares over it.”
“Why are you saying that? It must have been terrifying.”
You took a deep breath, the red bleeding into the darkness. “It was easy to blend in. It was like so many of the parties and galas I have attended. I was the guest of honor, no one suspected anything. I wasn’t the one–”
You cut yourself off before you uttered the words but both of you knew. Silence fell between you. You wished you could fall asleep again but sleep was so far away.
“Do you feel guilty?” he asked quietly.
“For what?” You were confused. Why would you feel guilty? You had done your best, probably more than anyone in their right mind would do.
Jimin gave a small shrug, bringing your joined hands to your chest. “You just sounded like it. Like you felt guilty for having nightmares about it. You don’t have to be. You are here and you are okay but– But you could have not been.” There was fear in his voice and it hurt.
You held him closer and squeezed his hand. You were there now and you wouldn’t be going anywhere. His breath warmed your bare skin. You weren’t alone anymore, you had seven people to think about when you made decisions. You had a home and you would fight to get back to it every time.
“Let’s go to sleep, kitten. We’ll dream better together.”
♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩
After your short break, your return to work was uneventful. A few more days would have been nice but time was moving fast and there were a lot of things to do. On your first day back, before you had left the house Jimin and Jungkook got teary-eyed saying goodbye to you. Going back to work was hard for you too after being used to staying at home with them, but you would fall into your usual routine soon enough.
Your work was a big part of who you were, returning to the studios was like returning home in a way. The cast and the crew greeted you warmly with hugs and pats on the back. Will handed you a pack of papers and you made your way together to the reading room. You would be doing a few read-throughs to get the actors familiar with the characters again and work through a few knots in the script.
It was the same way it had been, waking up at the crack of dawn and returning when the sun was descending in the sky. The hybrids clung to you in any way they could while you were home. At breakfast and dinner, there was always someone touching you, Jimin sitting on your lap or Namjoon holding your hand or Jungkook hugging you from behind. They missed you and you missed them too but there was little you could do.
In the quiet of the night when most of the hybrids had retired, you asked Hoseok how Taehyung was adjusting. The answer was always the same. Hopeful but disappointing as well—guilt ate at you for feeling disappointed when you knew Taehyung was doing his best.
The story of the Raven Boys unraveled during the days and the nights. Your copy of the script was overflowing with red ink, underlined lines, and writing in the margins. It was shaping up to become everything you had envisioned and more. And you were happy. But you also missed spending more than a few hours at the Castle.
You could invite them to join you for filming and spend a little more time with them. However, you had a one-track mind while you were working and you couldn’t provide the attention they deserved. Often, you got too lost in your work. You could feel it now, clouding your mind and blending the days into a string of numbered scenes and takes.
It was a blessing that one week into filming, you finished early, just a couple of hours after lunch, and instead of staying and obsessing over the smallest details like you were prone to doing, you packed your backpack and returned home. John drove you back with instructions to relax and not think about work until the next morning. You didn’t mind listening to him.
“I’m home,” you shouted after opening the door. Due to their sensitive hearing any hybrid on the top two floors would hear the door opening, you liked to let them know it was you so they wouldn’t worry. You had wanted to surprise them so you hadn’t texted that you were coming back.
Jimin and Hoseok were the first ones to rush to the living room. Jimin fell into your arms with practiced ease and buried his face in your neck.
“Surprise,” you said, ruffling his blond hair.
He purred in contentment. Hoseok also joined the hug, his fluffy tail wrapping around your legs.
“Are you staying?” Jimin asked, his eyes shining with hope.
“I am. We finished early today so I’m all yours for the rest of the day.”
Jimin cheered and held onto your hand, following you into the kitchen where you poured yourself a glass of homemade lemonade from the fridge. A book and a few notebooks were spread over the kitchen island and you took a closer look at them. You recognized the textbook as one you had bought a few years ago during your first visit to Seoul for the press tour of one of your Oscar-winning films. You had read through the first few pages on the plane back to LA and when you had arrived you had placed it on the shelf that housed all your language-learning books and never picked it up again.
“Are you learning Korean?” you asked Jimin, scanning the awkward handwritten Korean letters in the pages of the notebook.
Flustered, Jimin didn’t look at you as he replied, “Hoseok is helping me. I thought I could communicate better with Taehyung if I knew a bit of Korean but it’s really hard.”
“He’s doing really well though,” Hoseok interjected with pride. “He is getting good at reading Hangul and he knows a few basic phrases too. He is learning very quickly.”
Jimin shrugged, his cheeks getting adorably rosy. “I have a great teacher.”
Hoseok cooed at the younger hybrid while you flipped through the pages of the textbook. You recognized your handwriting on the first few, you had written down a few questions you had so you could look them up later, which didn’t happen. Now, the answers were written underneath your questions in blue ink. The next pages were marked in both Jimin’s and Hoseok’s handwriting, there were notes in the margins and between lines and little doodles of flowers and butterflies.
Footsteps climbing up the stairs prompted you to let go of the notebook. Jungkook came running through the kitchen door and threw himself at you, nuzzling into your neck. You planted your feet on the ground and caught him just in time before you both went flying back.
“You’re back,” he whispered. He was bouncing on his feet, his excitement contagious.
“We finished early so I packed everything up and rushed back,” you said. “Has it been that long since I was back at a normal hour?”
Jungkook nodded resolutely and you couldn’t help but giggle. The truth was that it was the first time you were finishing early since filming had started again. The first week back was the busiest since you had to review everything, redraw most of the plans, check in with every department, and generally when you weren’t actively filming you spent them running around the studios like a headless chicken.
You should get a day off as soon as you could. For a workaholic, you missed being at home with them too much.
Namjoon and Seokjin were the next ones to appear at the kitchen door. Jungkook still hadn’t let go of you so they were content to leave twin kisses on your cheeks while teasing the bunny hybrid.
“Is Yoongi with Taehyung?” you asked, noting the absence of the two hybrids.
“They are in the garden,” Namjoon said, a fond smile playing on his lips. “Yoongi has been lounging in the sunlight since we finished lunch.”
“He’s starting to gain some color, he looks less like a ghost these days,” Seokjin joked. “Sometimes I think he is more cat than Jimin is.”
You laughed with them before your attention was drawn back to the textbook. It was hard learning a new language, you knew that very well. It could take years to reach a decent level depending on your dedication and the language itself. You remembered Alice suggesting you should learn Korean to communicate better with Taehyung. Jimin was doing just that without anyone asking him to and by the handwriting on a good chunk of the textbook, he had been doing it for some time.
Namjoon also took an interest in the textbook but he already seemed to know that Jimin had been studying the language.
“I would like to learn to,” he said. “I didn’t have to chance to learn another language in the past and it would be beneficial if we could communicate with Taehyung in his mother tongue. Maybe it would get him to open up more.”
Seokjin nodded. “I think it’s a good idea. I would like to learn a bit of Korean too.”
“I could teach you a few things,” Hoseok offered. “But I’m not a teacher, I don’t know what I’m doing most of the time. I can teach you a few words or phrases but”, he glanced at Jimin with a guilty look, “we are having some trouble with grammar.”
“That makes sense,” you reassured him. “It is very different speaking a language, especially when it’s your mother tongue, and teaching it to someone else. That’s why there are university courses for it. It’s a difficult job. But if you really want to learn Korean, I could find you a teacher who specializes in it. That way Hobi would have less on his plate as well.”
Jimin’s eyes widened. “Really? Can you do that?”
“Of course, I can,” you said. “I can find the best Korean teacher in Los Angeles and I can ask them to come here so you won’t have to go to the city. I’ll have to provide transportation of course. How does that sound?”
“Amazing,” Jimin cheered and hugged you again. “Thank you, thank you.”
“It’s the least I could do.”
The least because you couldn’t do the same. You didn’t have the time or the energy to learn another language when most of your day was taken up by your work. During the days you were at the studios and at nights often you had to retire to your office to answer emails and revise scripts before going to sleep. The best you could manage would be to learn a few basic phrases but that wouldn’t be helping anyone.
The arrangements for the teacher were easy. You didn’t have to look long on the internet and after a few calls you had found the perfect candidate who was more than happy to make the trip to the Castle three times a week and stay for three hours to teach the hybrids. You added a very generous bonus for her trouble.
Before finalizing the contract, you talked with Hoseok about an idea you had.
“She could help Taehyung with his English as well. A couple of hours a week could help a lot,” you suggested.
Hoseok was on washing duty after dinner and Taehyung had gone to his room for the night so it was the perfect opportunity to talk to him about this.
“It’s a great idea, if he wants to. I do my best but… I don’t think I’m helping on this,” Hoseok said, scrubbing a plate with the sponge. Foam was everywhere.
You rubbed his arm soothingly. “You’re doing amazing. Much better than I could have hoped for. But I know it’s hard for you and I wish there was a way to help you. I’m sorry I can’t do much.”
Hoseok shrugged, bubbles rising above the dishes. “You are doing the best you can, given the situation. You have already done more than anyone would have expected of you.”
Laughter floated in from the living room. You smiled through your exhaustion.
“Ask Taehyung about the teacher, okay? And tell him it’s your idea, not mine. I don’t want him to accept because I am the one asking.”
♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩
Jimin ran down the stairs, laughing wildly. Energy coursed through his veins and urgency pushed his legs to run faster and faster. He felt like a nymph in Land of the Gods, running through their trees, their hair flowing like an enchantment and laughing and laughing. He didn’t look at his pursuer, he knew who he was and it only filled him with delight.
The rooms blurred as he passed by, never losing his footing. He emerged in the garden and the sun kissed his skin, the fire inside him burning hotter in the heat. The green stretched around him and for a moment, he got the crazy desire to go into the forest and get lost there, underneath the shade of the tall trees. He wanted to dance and drink and eat juicy fruits between the trees like the fae in the stories you told them yesterday night.
Maybe one day.
Instead, he rushed to the stairs that led down to their room. The footsteps behind him were getting closer and he pushed himself to go faster, flying down the stairs.
There was nowhere else to go now and he paused in front of their bed. It was enough time for two hands to wrap around his waist and tackle him on the mattress. He resisted a little, just for show, before wrapping his own arms around broad shoulders and laughing some more. He felt like a child, in a way he couldn’t remember ever feeling before.
“You can’t escape from me,” Jungkook said, hovering above him.
“I didn’t try,” Jimin replied, running his hands over his shoulders and up the sides of his neck. “Bunnies are supposed to be fast, aren’t they? But you only caught me when I had nowhere else to go.”
Jungkook leaned into his touch. “I would have caught you anyway. You couldn’t run forever. Now you’re mine.”
He lowered himself until their bodies were merged together. He sniffed at Jimin’s neck, taking in his scent like he had done so many times, before rubbing his nose and his cheek over his scent gland. Jimin couldn’t stop the purrs that escaped him as his body melted. His hands tangled in Jungkook’s hair, who made an appreciative sound.
The scent of pears and gardenias was everywhere, it was deliciously overwhelming. He could almost taste the sweetness and tanginess of the pears on his tongue.
He tugged on Jungkook’s hair before he could lose his mind. “My turn.”
Jungkook arched his neck back to allow Jimin to scent him. He quickly found his scent gland and buried his face there. He closed his eyes and a garden bloomed behind his eyelids.
Jungkook’s scent was so sweet and it was mouth-watering combined with the pack’s scents. He could smell his own scent there and Namjoon’s scent of summer rain and pine trees was enveloping everything. The aroma of honey buns and sweet milk glazed over them like sugar and notes of cinnamon and sandalwood pushed through. If he looked for it, he could detect your scent, naturally fainter than hybrids’. Greedily, he searched for two more scents but he could only get the impression of dark chocolate. He might have imagined it.
“I’m happy,” Jmin whispered like it was a secret. There was the irrational fear that if he said it any louder, he would tempt fate to take it back.
“I’m happy too,” Jungkook said, laying his head on Jimin’s chest.
Jimin tangled his hands in his hair and massaged his scalp, he was rewarded with a pleased sigh. “It’s like everything has finally fallen into place. I’m not sad anymore. I didn’t realize how sad I was until I wasn’t. Even when I was happy, I was sad too. I don’t know how to explain it.”
“You don’t have to.” Jungkook caught his hand in his and brought it to his mouth, placing kisses on the back of it. Jimin’s heart fluttered with the wings of thousands of butterflies. “All that matters to me is that you aren’t anymore. I only want you to be happy. I know it isn’t possible to be happy all the time but I want us all to be happy. Together and happy.”
“Together and happy,” Jimin repeated quietly.
Every time he was was with Jungkook like that, his mind strayed. It went to all the possibilities, all the could-have-beens and the what-ifs. What would have happened if Jimin wasn’t a coward, if he hadn’t run away? If he had told you what had happened before, would he have been braver? Did Jungkook feel the same after everything that happened? Did he still want to kiss him?
His bunny was so beautiful, his soft dark brown ears that flopped against his hair, his cute nose and large eyes that held the galaxy inside them. Everything about him was beautiful and Jimin loved him so much he could burst. He wasn’t sure if it was right to love him like this, to want to kiss him and hold him like lovers did but he trusted you when you said that it was okay.
Lost in his thoughts, he tugged lightly on Jungkook’s hair, who let out a sound that lit a fire inside him. It was a moan, Jungkook had moaned.
His cheeks growing red, he looked at Jimin like a deer caught in headlines. “I’m sorry! I didn’t- I shouldn’t-”
“Jungkookie, it’s okay.”
“No, no. I’m sorry,” he continued quickly. “I don’t know why I did that. I’m-”
“Jungkook,” Jimin said more firmly. “It’s okay. Really. I didn’t mind. You… sounded good.”
“Good?” Jungkook asked confused. And his eyes, how could his eyes hold so many stars inside them?
Slowly, Jimin tugged at his hair again. “Yeah, good. I liked it.”
“Oh.”
They looked at each other and the world faded around them. There was only them, them and the heat brewing between them.
“Do you-” Jimin looked away. He couldn’t just ask him like that. But what else could he say? “I love you, I love you so much. I never want you to forget. Anything that may happen, I’ll still love you.”
“I love you too, you know I do. You are my Jiminie. I would do anything for you.” He bit his bottom lip and Jimin wished he was the one doing it instead. “Did something happen?”
“No, I just wanted you to know,” he said, cupping Jungkook’s face. His skin was the highest quality of silk and satin under his hand. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m so difficult, so… scarred.”
Jungkook’s hand covered his and his gaze was unyielding, it didn’t allow him to look away. “Never apologize for that. Never. You aren’t difficult, you are incredible. You are strong, stronger than I could ever hope to be. Your scars don’t define you. I met you with your scars and I love you with them all the same. I don’t care if I have to be a little more careful or if I have to hold you a little closer sometimes. Just being close to you is all I need.”
There was a stinging behind Jimin’s eyes. “My baby,” he said like a prayer. An invisible thread pulled him closer to Jungkook until only a breath separated them. “Can I kiss you?”
“Kiss me?”
Jimin hated the doubt and the fear in his voice, he grieved that he had been the one to put it there. “I want to, I promise. It’s okay, I talked with Y/N. I’ve been so stupid. I want to kiss you so much, baby.”
“Please. Please, kiss me,” he said, voice breaking.
Their lips came together softly. There was no rush, no harshness, only love and patience. He was warm, warmer than he had ever felt. He was safe in Jungkook’s arms, hidden away in the Castle, in their home. Sweetness coated his lips. He might not deserve this, might be too broken for this but he never wanted to let go.
Two tears rolled down his cheeks. Catharsis.
Jungkook pulled back in panicked haste. “Did I hurt you? Did-”
Jimin let his tears run their course down to his neck in favor of cupping Jungkook’s face. “You could never hurt me. They’re happy tears. I’m very happy.”
The tension in Jungkook’s face eased and Jimin pulled him closer again. As he kissed him, he tasted love and freedom. He tasted of healing.
♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩
The grand piano stood by the glass wall in the living room, polished until the black surface reflected the light like a mirror. It was a thing of beauty, a gem dipped in luxury to decorate a rich household. For Yoongi, it was so much more.
It was a few hours until you would be back home and the sun was setting behind the forest. The lights were off in the living room and it was painted in the red, gold and pink of the sunset. You would be back later than usual, the filming schedule was packed for the day and after that was done you would visit the headquarters of the production company. You had told them to eat dinner without you.
Yoongi’s fingers flew over the black and white keys. He closed his eyes and focused on the music. Each note was a bright light in the darkness behind his eyelids. It was easy to get lost in the music, in the feelings it evoked and in the pictures it weaved.
He heard it when Taehyung arrived. He didn’t speak, gave him space to go away if he wanted or simply listen in silence. The melody grew more tender.
Taehyung didn’t go away, he drew closer. He hesitated before sitting on the bench next to him, leaving a small space between them. The song blended into the next one and the next one until the familiar stiffness spread over Yoongi’s fingers and he stopped.
Outside, the reds and golds had turned into purples and deep blues. Yoongi would have to turn on the lights soon.
“Do you want to try?” Yoongi asked when the silence stretched and Taehyung didn’t seem to find the words he was looking for.
Taehyung looked at the piano in quiet wonder. “Can I?”
He was so young and it made Yoongi furious that some bastards had carved the innocence and joy out of him. He wanted to find the monsters who had done this to him and tear them apart limb by limb.
His long fingers hovered over the keys. “How?”
“Just do whatever feels right.”
Taehyung pressed the keys one by one at first, the faint lines of a smile appearing on his face at every new sound. Progressively he got braver, pressing keys together and creating disjointed melodies.
“Together?” Taehyung asked shyly.
Yoongi couldn’t say no.
Please comment and reblog it motivates me to keep writing
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pennyellee · 1 year
Text
CHAPTER IV - ustulation
LACRIMOSA | MYG MAFIA YANDERE AU
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pairings: mafia leader!yoongi x f!reader genre: mafia!au, yandere au, historical au
summary: Their interlocking gaze served as a butterfly effect on his heart, stirring it to the core. She, in turn, only dreams to find a way to escape. But perchance, over time she might forcefully learn to love the man who has taken so much from her.
Thus unfolds a twisted tale of love and loss, of hope and despair, of life and death. The music reverberated through the dimly-lit streets. Tears of sorrow, weeping symphony - reflects the hurt, the scars that linger deep within and the wounds that never healed. Lacrimosa.
chapter warnings: minors dni 18+ | mafia au, dark!yoongi, mafia!yoongi, yandere, kidnapping, mentions of God, blood, incision wound, fictive mafia clan traditions, manipulation, possessive/obsessive behaviour, angst, mentions of death, overwhelming, violence, threats, intimate encounter, kissing
beta read by @chaoticpuff17
word count: 5,6K
disclaimer: this story is purely fictional, it does not depict real-life events or involve any actual members of BTS. This story will contain depictions of violence, blood shed, death, mentions of abuse, smoking, alcohol drinking, illegal activities, old social norms and traditions, which we do not condone.
m.list CHAPTER I CHAPTER II CHAPTER III GAME OF GO CHAPTER V
ustulation (n.) a burning lust
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In the hidden embrace of a secluded mountain valley, a village of hanoks stirred to life on a tranquil winter's morning. The air was crisp, a symphony of silence. The Song of the Dead toned down for some time.
The dawn’s gentle light bathed the valley, wisps of mist from the frost-kissed earth, adding an ethereal veil to the scenery she watched carefully from the closed window.
The majestic mountains, ancient pines and stoic rocks stood as sentinels of the valley's serenity. She could see them from this side of the house. Y/N sighed, holding a cup of tea in her two small hands, warming herself up on this chilly morning.
“Is something bothering you, my love?”
Yoongi had tried his hardest the past month to get under her skin. There were times when he thought perhaps, she would welcome him into her heart one day. However, her repeated escape attempts made him think otherwise. He was giving her the space she needed with carefulness in every action he took. The young leader knew well that she wouldn't be able to escape while they resided here, in the core of the village. That did not stop her though.
As if nature herself wished to bestow a gift upon him, the first snowflakes began to descend from the heavens just as they were returning from that unfortunate, eventful day in Seoul. The snowflakes floated gently, even now, like fragile dreams.
“Are you feeling well? You spent a lot of time in the snow yesterday.” He murmured after she didn’t grant him an answer to his previous question. They had to postpone the wedding as the snow and frost reigned, making it unsafe to pass through the tunnels. The passage was being cleared by workers for more than a week now. Time seemed to stand still as they absorbed the grace that enveloped their world.
“I feel fine,” she muttered back, not even looking his way at the table.
“I’ve been good to you, haven’t I?” He asked, demanding to speak to her.
“After all the stunts you pulled, you’re still free to roam around without anyone guarding you. Not speaking of the fact that I’m letting you sleep alone—” he was going on rumble.
The young leader is patient, but he longed for her more than ever. The fact that they’re still not newlyweds, and he cannot show love to every inch of her body, make her swell with his child, was frustrating him beyond repair. She had let her guard down once and allowed him to take the chance and kiss her on the cheek, startling her yet again.
“—you’re so blinded,” she said suddenly, turning back to face him.
“Excuse me?” said he, very surprised.
“You go on about how you’re good to me, how this is God’s doing, and that I should be grateful—” she threw her hands in the air, frustrated by his demanding nature.
While the leader thought he was granting her the time she needed, Y/N felt more and more anxious every day. Her heart is still itching to be free, yet she cannot stop thinking about what her selfishness would cause if she indeed managed to escape.
“Well maybe if you didn’t run every time, I tried to show you affection, I wouldn't have to remind you of all this.” He spat angrily, smashing the chopsticks on the table, standing up.
“I’m patient—” said he, getting closer to her standing form by the large windows. “—but I swear to God, you’ll disobey me again, and that’s where my hospitality ends, Y/N.”
“I just—” she stammered, making him stop in his attempt to close the distance between them. “I’m scared,” she whimpered. Y/N didn’t know why these words came out of her, nor why there were tears. All she felt was exhaustion.
The scarred leader’s expression softened. Is she finally confiding herself to him, opening up?
“My love…” He approached her, taking the cup from her shaking hands, putting it aside and lastly taking her face into his hands, his thumbs wiping her tears away.
“I can make you happy. You just have to let me in.” He whispered, moving his face closer to hers. Y/N knows they will cross the boundary sooner or later. The winter is making it impossible for her to both run away and survive. Should Y/N listen to her mother’s words and let him make her his queen? The older female’s proclamation circled her mind at night while listening to the cracking of wood in the fireplace.
“Please let me in, dove.” He pleaded again, his eyes filled with sincerity and longing.
And once she nodded her head in approval, he didn’t hesitate to press his lips softly against hers. Time stood still, and the world around them faded into a blur of insignificance. Their hearts pounded in sync for a brief moment. She felt a warmth she couldn't admit, even to herself. Y/N wanted to hate him so much. Despite her inner conflict, she could sense the unspoken longings from his side, his desire to deepen the kiss carefully without overwhelming her. He wished to never let her go and feared that she would vanish in his hold. His lips were tender and tentative, like the brush of a butterfly's wings upon a fragile petal. Y/N knows he is holding himself back. The kiss was addictive, momentarily lifting the burden from her chest.
As he went to slide his hands on the swell of her heart-shaped bottom, a sudden cough interrupted the intimate moment. Y/N quickly pulled away, feeling shame and embarrassment wash over her caused by the sudden intrusion. She stole a single glance at the man standing by the door, grinning mischievously. Her cheeks turned crimson as she felt shy and exposed, but the young leader kept holding her in his embrace, not letting her go so soon after their first shared kiss.
Smiling like a teenager, he said: “What’s going on Hoseok-shi.” Y/N could imagine he is smiling widely as she had observed when she apologised to him for hitting his head with the stone. He waved it off quickly stating ‘I would be a fool to not forgive my new sister.’ She pretended not to be affected by his words, but it made the man she was to marry smile even more mischievously.
“I need to speak to you, and Y/N should get ready for Hyung’s wedding,” Hoseok said, his eyes gleaming with some secret knowledge.
Y/N exchanged a puzzled glance with Hoseok before nodding and extracting herself from the young leader's embrace, her cheeks still flushed from the kiss. Uncertainty hung in the air as Yoongi let Y/N go and walk away, admiring her graceful figure.
“What?” Yoongi asked, turning his attention to his trusted friend, who wore a smirk that hinted at hidden amusement.
“Nothing,” Hoseok replied, still smiling under his nose.
“Shall we?” Yoongi said, collecting himself and walking towards his brother.
“You won’t fancy what news I bring, brother.”
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Silk banners fluttered in the breeze, announcing the joyous union to all who ventured near. The bride, a vision of grace and elegance, is adorned in a hanbok of flowing silk and intricate embroidery.
The groom, dressed in the timeless attire of a traditional hanbok, stood tall and resolute. His eyes fixed unwaveringly upon his beloved, as though she embodied the very essence of his being — a force that fuelled his heart.
Amidst the enchanting spectacle of celebration, the weight of tradition resonated with each uttered word.
The outside picture portrayed the unbreakable bonds of family and the beauty of two souls finding solace in one another. Y/N, however, couldn’t help but have a feeling that the poor girl the doctor was marrying did not find herself at the altar because of true love but fearful coercion. It reminded her of her circumstances — a pawn in a larger scheme.
As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm golden glow upon the snow-covered land, Y/N sat beside her to-be husband, observing his unusual joy. Accordingly. Today, one of his brothers was finally taking a wife and his bride in a momentary vulnerability that had allowed him to share a tender kiss with her, amplifying his joy to an even greater extent.
Her ears perked up once she heard the celebration of the union before her. She couldn't resist side-eyeing the other brothers she had encountered over the past month, and her gaze locked with Kim Namjoon, Kkangpae’s right-hand man.
Y/N remembers Kim Namjoon. His piercing, cold gaze bore into her soul, especially so during one of her escape attempts, when he forcefully brought her back to the main house, reprimanding her for disobedience.
‘I can either give up my life to save you or I can be your enemy Y/N.’ Namjoon had warned her on a night when she sought solace near the fireplace in Yoongi's office, wrapped in blankets to warm herself even more. She was rarely allowed in this sacred room unless her actions demanded attention.
That night, Yoongi was dealing with business matters. He came back to the main house to her shivering and crying form. It is breaking his heart every time he sees her in such a state but simultaneously, he wishes she would cross the border of submissiveness and obey him.
Y/N ignored his warning just yesterday when she attempted to run away again. Hence, the gaze. If she was afraid of his next steps, she wouldn’t let him decipher that.
She snapped out of her mind as Yoongi rose from his seat, taking her hand to help her up. Y/N looked at him with a mixture of confusion and concern. He gently nudged her behind him, positioning himself as a protective shield. She looked around her, seeing that everyone else was still seated. Their looks show emotions —excitement, joy, and pride.
Her confusion heightened when Yoongi began unbuttoning her fur coat that was hiding her long red qipao, and panic swelled within her.
"What are you doing?!” She whispered in distress.
“Behave.” He whispered back to her, leaving the coat open revealing her breasts and tummy.
Leaving her standing close to him, he held her hand tightly, as if afraid she might flee at any moment. Y/N noticed that Namjoon's attention had shifted to Seokjin's new bride. The bride's trembling form approached them, and Y/N observed the gleaming knife in Seokjin's hand, quickly realizing what was about to happen.
It whispered promises of power, of secrets that could be revealed with a single stroke, but it also carried the weight of consequences and a toll on the bearer's conscience. As the girl's hand was carefully sliced with the knife, Y/N couldn't help but empathize with her pain. Her father had a similar tradition; however, women weren’t involved; she was still left in the dark about her role in all this.
The girl then knelt, extending her bloodied hand toward the leader, reciting her pledge of loyalty to Kkangpae Min. Yoongi covered her hand with his other one, acknowledging her devotion and signaling for her to continue with the moving tradition.
The leader then used his left hand to guide Y/N forward, leaving her yet again puzzled and bewildered. A moment later, she gasped with shock as she felt the girl's bloodied hand touch her lower belly. Yoongi held her firmly in place, preventing any instinctual step back.
"I, with my blood, pledge my loyalty to you, Min Buin. Blessed be the fruit of your future legacy, Kkangpae Min," the girl recited, her words carrying both reverence and a touch of melancholy. The significance of the moment and the responsibility it bestowed upon Y/N left her grappling with a maelstrom of emotions.
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“Well you handled that well,” a voice came from behind her, and Y/N turned to find Namjoon standing there, watching her by the fireplace in Yoongi's office. She had been curious when he would approach her, knowing that Yoongi had gone to check if the tunnels were passable.
Y/N couldn't quite discern the tone of Namjoon's remark—whether it held irony or genuine praise. Such was the enigmatic nature of this man.
“I suppose,” she muttered, hugging herself for comfort.
“I personally thought you’d slap her hand off. Such an act would undoubtedly stir up trouble,” said he as he settled down in one of the armchairs.
Her mind replayed the events of the pledge, and she confessed truthfully, “I was too shocked to do so.” The new bride's pledge of loyalty to her and her empty womb had caught her off guard, leaving her uneasy.
“Your father is not demanding newcomers to pledge loyalty?” He asked, curious about their inner circle practices. She smirked, sensing his attempt to pry.
“Yes, but not to my mother,” she revealed.
“You hold an important position within our ranks,” the right-hand man noted. “And that, my dear, is why we are having this little conversation.” Y/N looked up, finding him extending a glass filled with what she presumed to be rice wine or soju.
“I genuinely want to be your friend Y/N—” he said while passing the glass to her. “But you’re very hard to please, princess,” he exclaimed.
“By ‘wanting to be my friend’, you mean the part when you threaten me again,” she retorted with a scoff, alluding to his past warnings.
“That is a necessary evil,” he conceded. “But on a serious note, Y/N,” he drew closer, taking a seat slightly further away to grant her personal space, “Why?”
“What do you mean, why?” she asked, feeling dumbfounded by his question.
"Is life here truly so terrible that all you can think of is escape?" he sighed, genuinely curious about her state of mind.
“Not all I can think of—” she began, trying to defend herself.
"Oh, so you did not attempt to escape just a day ago, and two days before that, and so on," he interjected, pointing out her recent attempts.
“What do you want to hear from me Namjoon?” she countered, feeling the pressure of his questioning.
“Hoseok hyung overheard your conversation,” he finally gave away the one piece of information he sought to address “What are you afraid of?”
Y/N gazed into the dancing flames, his words echoing in her mind. Memories of the recent kiss with Yoongi and the ensuing events flooded her thoughts. She felt her spirit on the brink of collapse, her attempts to escape repeatedly thwarted, causing harm to others in the process. Y/N was exhausted.
“I suppose I expected my life to take a different trajectory than this,” she admitted, reflecting on her circumstances.
“I can assure you that this will be the best that ever happened to you—” Namjoon insisted, trying to be reassuring.
“And that, Namjoon, is where my disbelief lies,” she interrupted him, peering straight into his eyes. He sighed, running a hand across his face, expressing a sense of frustration mixed with genuine concern.
“You didn’t give it a chance!” He raised his voice, unable to hide his emotions. He wanted this clan to function as it did for countless years and what’s more, he wanted his hyung to be happy.
“I’m going to ask you once again, and I want the truth,” he implored, trying to get to the heart of the matter. “What are you so scared of?”
Y/N decided to remain silent, knowing that her response would likely incite further frustration from him. "Is it sex?" he suddenly asked, shocking her with his explicitness. "Are you scared to be punished for your sins?”
“Don’t be ridiculous!” she returned his rage, denying his accusation.
“Am I?” he continued probing.
“Yes, Namjoon! You are! You think I’m this shallow?!” she lashed out.
“No, but all you let us see is the shallow version of you. Apart from this morning,” he declared, referring to a rare moment of vulnerability she had shown.
“And it wasn’t meant for anybody to hear nor see that,” she snapped back at him.
“I understand your reasoning, Y/N. But we’re your family now, you don’t have to shield yourself against us,” he pleaded, hoping to break down her walls.
“He loves you, Y/N,” Namjoon continued, trying to make her see the sincerity in Yoongi's feelings.
“That’s very hard to believe too.” She remarked, still sceptical, looking right through his eyes. He took a deep breath, lifting his hand to touch his face.
“Alright, let’s make a deal,” he proposed, catching her by surprise and piquing her interest.
“About?” She asked, curiously.
“Give it a year,” said the right-hand man. By making a deal with her, he is going behind the back of his leader and, even more importantly — his dearest friend. Nevertheless, he felt obligated to do this for him.
"If you're still 'scared' of whatever you say you are, and this is not the life you'll be comfortable living, I'll personally see to it that you'll be transported to America," he promised, leaving her momentarily speechless.
“What is the catch?” Y/N wasn't naive. She knew there must be some ulterior motive.
"You'll stop being a flight risk. If you attempt to run again, the deal is off, and I will personally eliminate each person foolish enough to aid you since your arrival—one by one, ending with your cousin," he stated, laying out the condition.
Her heart pounded in her chest as she absorbed his chilling words. Her mind raced as she contemplated her choices. "That's the only condition?" she asked, ensuring she understood the terms before giving her answer.
"Well, naturally, I expect you to genuinely give it a chance, meaning that you will accept Hyung as your husband, leader, and lover," he emphasized the last noun, urging her to take his words seriously. Y/N stopped for a moment to collect her thoughts together.
“This is a one time offer Y/N. I won’t be this generous again,” he added. She struggled to read him, but she couldn’t. Namjoon was well known for being unpredictable — a quality that made him a perfect fit as the right-hand man. No one could ever say with certainty what his next move would be.
“Fine,” she finally relented, her voice barely a whisper. Namjoon extended his hand, sealing the deal with a firm shake. He leaned in closer to Y/N.
“I trust that you’ll be on your best behaviour from now on.” He whispered to her. There were so many emotions in her eyes right now that she was working hard to process. She barely nodded and averted her gaze down. Y/N couldn’t bear to look into his intimidating eyes no more.
“Very well,” he murmured, his gaze still fixed on her. “The tunnels have been cleared, and the wedding will take place this week." He told her.
Y/N's heart skipped a beat at the mention of the impending wedding. She was praying that perhaps she has more time to think of what to do with her situation. According to Seokjin, who came to visit and spent some time on occasion with her when his leader could not, the tunnels wouldn’t be cleared out until the end of December, giving her another month in total.
“Brother!” exclaimed Namjoon suddenly, breaking her train of thought. Y/N followed his gaze to the sliding door, where Yoongi stood, undoing the cufflinks of his shirt, the suit jacket already gone. "I was just telling Y/N the good news," Namjoon smiled at him.
Throughout this month, Y/N observed the strong brotherhood among Yoongi's most trusted and closest men. The deepest connection Yoongi shared was undoubtedly with Namjoon, which explained why he was the right-hand man.
Yoongi displayed a particularly protective nature towards his younger brothers. She had yet to meet Jungkook, the youngest, who had been recently assigned as captain of the front unit, as she overheard. On the other hand, Jimin was more involved in the open, managing the front business and whatever lay beneath it. The Chosen Hotel was highly popular among Koreans but was eagerly open to international guests too. Y/N suspected that the true core of the business was settled elsewhere, and she was eager to uncover it.
Seokjin, recently married, primarily served as the inner family's doctor. However, the Min clan also faced a shortage of actual medical staff like, so he had to run between the sanctuary, as she had learnt this place was called, and a front hospital.
Taehyung remained a mystery to her, despite seeing him in family pictures and hearing Yoongi mention him occasionally. He was supposed to represent the law in Yoongi's business dealings, ensuring the safety and legitimacy of their operations, including the handling of illegal earnings. Therefore, Taehyung is the safety pin of this organization. Whomever fucks up, he is there to defend them.
And lastly, Hoseok, a surprising contrast of joy and darkness. Y/N was taken aback that such a buoyant personality could be involved in such sinister activities. He was the arsonist who also took care of assassinations. Additionally, the clan engaged in money laundering, and Hoseok was responsible for collecting debts, often involuntarily.
Her eyes swelled with tears she was refusing to let out. Yoongi’s eyes met Y/N's, and she could see a mixture of concern and worry flicker across his face. A silent understanding passed between them, and they knew that they would need to have a private conversation later.
“Well, it seems you two need more privacy,” said Namjoon while he was collecting himself from the cushion he was sitting on.
“Did Tae call?” Yoongi asked before Namjoon could leave. “He did before Hyung’s wedding, to send his good wishes and—” he gazed over to Y/N who was carefully listening to their conversation, hanging on every word.
“—and?” Yoongi asked as he unbuttoned his shirt, a sight she had seen far too often for her liking. He was not shy with her; he could easily undress before her without a second thought. His attempts to walk in on her while she was changing didn't go unnoticed either, though she made sure to show her displeasure by throwing vases at him to keep him out.
Only now did Y/N remember the glass of alcoholic beverage that Namjoon had offered her, remaining untouched in her hands. She decided to take a sip, trying to ease her nerves before the conversation she was dreading.
“—and everything went well, as expected,” said Namjoon observing her as she downed the burning soju.
“Send telegraph to Wang and other families. We’re leaving for Chosen in two hours.” Y/N straightened herself, eyes wide open in disbelief.
“W-what do you mean in two hours?” She stammered. It was just past eight when she gazed at the clock on the wall. That would mean they'd depart at ten and arrive in Seoul around midnight.
"—I thought they just cleared the way. Why are we—" Yoongi cut her off abruptly. "I am waiting no more," he said firmly, locking his gaze with hers, leaving her in shock once again.
"On your way, please inform the maids to pack, and I want the cabin ready," Yoongi instructed Namjoon, who memorised every task with a sense of responsibility, seemingly disregarding Y/N's shattered spirit in the wake of this sudden rush.
“Can we at least talk about it?!” she raised her voice, causing the two men to stop in their tracks. They exchanged knowing looks, making it clear that this was non-negotiable. Yoongi clicked his tongue, biting his cheeks from inside, then turned to face his fiancée with a deceptive sweetness in his tone.
"Of course, my love," he said.
He nodded to Namjoon, who immediately took off, glancing at Y/N with a silent reminder to behave.
“What’s wrong?” Yoongi asked nonchalantly as if this were a perfectly normal scenario.
“I don’t know, do you think this is right?” Y/N kept her tone tense, signalling her discontent.
“Nothing is more right than this,” he answered, pouring himself a drink while taking her empty glass and refilling it with soju.
"Yoongi—" she began to protest, but he didn't let her speak further, having heard her excuses countless times.
“No Y/N. I’m not negotiating this time. We’re getting married tomorrow afternoon and that’s final,” he stated sternly.
"You could at least wait a day! Do you think everyone will just jump because you said it's happening right now? And more importantly, let me mentally prepare for it?!” Her frustration grew, and she gestured wildly, almost knocking over the refilled glass that Yoongi handed her.
“They are already in town. The telegraph is just a confirmation that it will happen tomorrow.” Her distress and panic were understandable; she had believed she had more time than a few hours.
“And you didn’t think of telling me first?!” she raised her voice even higher. That she was in distress and panic was very understandable. Y/N thought she had more time than a few hours.
“No, because you were finally letting me in—” said he, downing the contents of his glass in one go.
“You knew this would happen for a month, and you would have had more time to prepare yourself if running away fifteen hundred times a day wouldn’t be on your mind,” he fired back, raising his voice at her, and immediately asserting dominance.
"I'm getting very tired of this. One step forward and ten million miles back, damn it!" he cursed, slamming the glass down on his desk in frustration. The tension in the room was palpable, and Y/N felt her heart sinking as she realized that her hopes of a slower pace for their relationship had been shattered.
“I have a very easy solution to that—” she said, raising herself to stand up to him.
“—Let me go,” she emphasized every single word, her frustration boiling over, and momentarily forgetting about her deal with Namjoon.
Her emotions were running high, and she went to pull the ring off to prove her point, but he forcefully grabbed her right hand, stopping her in her tracks. Anger filled his eyes as he crossed his other hand, grabbed her by the back of her neck, and crashed his lips onto hers, pressing their bodies against the nearest wall. He didn't give her a chance to catch her breath as he passionately bruised her lips.
He let go of her hand once he was sure she wouldn't resist. With his now free hand, he lifted her leg, wrapping it around his waist, squeezing her ass cheek, making her yelp and by that creating an opening to slip his tongue into her mouth. Y/N had no idea how long their intimate encounter lasted, but she could feel her head spinning from the lack of oxygen. Just as she managed to stop his other hand from slipping under her dress, aiming for her pulsing heat, he parted from her, both of them breathing heavily.
“I’m sorry. I got carried away,” he apologised, his eyes fixed on her now swollen lips. Y/N was taken aback, her head still spinning, and she couldn't think straight. He had such a powerful effect on her, and this aspect of life was entirely new to her, having been kept away from such experiences.
"I wish, —" he started, nibbling at her lower lip while he continued to speak, "—you would acknowledge my love for you." Yoongi kissed her again, not giving her a chance to recover or speak up, moaning softly into her lips.
"We are too close. I will never give you up.” he declared, wiping her tears away gently.
“I can’t have you running though—” he leaned into lavish attention on her neck, placing butterfly kisses up to her jaw and stopping at her lips again—
"I'll overlook this lapse of senses if you keep up this good behaviour, my love, but the next time you disobey me, I won't only discipline you; someone will lose their head.”
She trembled against him, feeling lost, scared, and vulnerable. Her breath hitched as she tried to speak up. Yoongi was beyond himself for getting her into this state where she didn’t dare to oppose his words and stopped fighting him. If she won’t let him in willingly, he will force her to open up to him.
“I told you to not take that ring off your finger ever again.” She remembers the words he uttered to her in the garden where he proposed to her. That she agreed still feels surreal to her. Running got her nowhere, but she still had a selfish feeling inside her that he was bluffing and wouldn’t dare to seriously hurt anybody.
“Now be a good girl and apologise for disobeying me.” He tightened his grip at her waist, finally staring right into her teary eyes. Y/N felt lost, scared and vulnerable. Her lips were trembling, and her breath hitched again once she opened her mouth to speak.
“Shhh, it’s okay baby, just say it.” He cooed, lifting his hand to caress her cheek gently.
“I-I am sorry,” she finally sobbed. If there was one thing the scarred boy excelled at, it was getting his way. He smiled at her, pleased with her response.
He smiled at her. “That’s more like it, baby.”
Y/N longed to curl up in her small apartment, where she resided while studying at college. She desperately wished she could turn back time.
“I have something for you,” he said suddenly, looking for any sign of curiosity from her. Yoongi stepped away to his desk, leaving her pressed against the wall, hesitant to move an inch. He opened one of his drawers and pulled out an envelope. Y/N couldn't make out the handwriting, but her eyes widened as she recognised it.
“Your aunt entrusted me with this letter when we came to the conclusion that you should be mine one day,” he said, holding the envelope in his hands. Y/N desperately wished that the answer and a solution to her fears would be contained in that envelope. She was mulling over the platform of this match-making her aunt orchestrated.
Wang Xiaoqing very much upheld the meaning of her name in the time she lived. Blessed with intelligence. And she was a fearless mafia wife who brought pride to her late husband. There are other intriguing things about Y/N’s beloved auntie. Xiaoqing is by far the only member in her large family tree that married for love. Y/N admired her aunt and, perhaps, seeing that it was possible to marry for love, made her blindly believe she could also have the freedom to choose her partner.
She dreamt of a little house in the woods, not far from a lake or a small town. Growing some goods in the garden, by night sitting near the fireplace, the love of her life holding her. She would work in a nearby hospital, or study overseas to become a doctor were all part of her fever dream. She knew it was unlikely to come true, given her family's ties to the syndicate.
But she could least dream about it. For a moment, when she was on the ferry to Jeju Island, she thought she would make it. Y/N knew the risk she was taking once she entrusted her well-being to Chan-yeol. She knew his role was insignificant and not a threat to any syndicate and it wouldn’t certainly attract Yakuza, but she was also aware that he could have been the only one to send her to the far land. She believed that God chose this path for her instead of being an arm jewel to some Yakuza brute.
Reality snapped her back from her swirling thoughts as he put the envelope back in the drawer.
“W-what are you doing?” she asked, taking a step forward.
“I will give it to you—” he promised “and tell you everything you want to know—” locking the drawer with a key.
“—After you’ll walk the aisle to me, without any of your misfits,” he finished his sentence.
"To strengthen your cooperation for tomorrow, I'm having your cousin and her husband at gunpoint during the ceremony," he added, making her scream in protest.
"I won't do anything stupid," she pleaded, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Just let them be, please. They have little son, Yoongi.”
“I know, that’s why they are the perfect bargain to make you obedient. If this doesn't work, you still have other family members—," Y/N couldn't bear it any longer; she closed the distance between them, standing just inches away from him.
“If you would love me—” she started but before she could finish, he grabbed her waist and pulled her even closer, pressing his body against hers. She could feel his torso and lower body. He bowed down next to her ear.
“I’ll stop this necessary coercion when you’ll learn your place, my love.”
Yoongi loved making her squirm and overwhelm her. He was basking in the effect he had on her. The fact that she will be his wife in less than twelve hours was a source of satisfaction for him.
“You were my woman for a long time now, and you will be my woman till death do us apart.”
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I N T E R L O G U E
“—And you’re certain that the man is on his way to Seoul.” The leader inquired of his trusted friend and partner, seated in the quiet confines of his home office.
“Yes,” Hoseok affirmed with a nod.
"Is there any additional information that I need to be aware of?” Yoongi's voice carried a hint of tension, his teeth gritted in anger.
"As of now, there's nothing more to report," the younger male replied, keeping the conversation concise.
“Do you want me to eliminate him?” Hoseok offered, waiting for his leader's command.
“Not just yet, I was hoping to have the pleasure myself.”
to be continued
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author’s note: so here we are at chapter IV!! ♥ Thank you all so much for for sticking around chummers ♥ They kissed and much moreee!!! We'll see what we'll happen next. I hereby promise to post the chapter sooner than the end of Semptember, or I hope so xD Tho I have some wips to write and if I'll finish some then I'll post something new too ♥
Massive shout-out to Bex, the queen @chaoticpuff17, for beta another chapter!
Love you!!!!
Don't be a silent reader, comment, re-blog, heart, asks are more than welcome ♥
keep in mind - I'm not an expert on chinese, korean and japanese culture, but I tried to research everything realistic I wanted to add to the story. Nonetheless, take it as a fiction.
let's be friends chummers ♥
lots of love,
𝖕𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖞𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖊
taglist: @beautifulcloudfestival - @chaoticpuff17 - @honsoolgloss - @jingerbreadoutofstock - @moscow778 - @januara26 - @dinosolecito - @yoongislatinagff - @xyahrinx - @hi12345567 - @nochuel - @deltamoon666 - @bbkissme99 - @darkuni63 - @nansasa - @sazsazsaz - @missmin - @strxwbloody - @royallyjjk - @jaiuneamesolitaiire - @shadowyjellyfishfest - @bbgniecyy - @elayne321 - @seojunandsoju - @bun-27 - @whipwhoops - @wobblewobble822 - @whofan88 - @haneyyy - @lostgirlinthewoodss @secfir @btspurplesky @elleflying07 - @pamzn - @megseungmin
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tiedyeflannels · 7 months
Text
so far away
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Min Yoongi x reader
Word count: 3.7k
Intro --- Main Masterlist
A/N: Hey-ya! Here is the second installment of Blind Date(s)! If you haven't already, please read the intro to this! Overall, I'm not sure how I feel about how this turned out because it's very lowkey, but who knows. *shrug* Anyway! I hope you enjoy!!
“You did not,” I said as I looked at her in disbelief.
She happily nodded, a smile growing on her lips. “Yes, I did and you’re totally going on this date. There is no bailing on a date with a celebrity.”
I sighed and rolled my eyes as I realized there was no way out of this.
“Fine, but would you mind telling me who it’s with, what we’ll be doing, and when it is so I can I mentally prepare myself.”
She curtly nodded, “Can do! The date is with Min Yoongi, I believe we settled on just going to get something to eat - very casual, and it’ll be on the 27th.”
“How did you even get a date with him,” I questioned, leaning on the island. 
“There was an auction I had to attend since my dad couldn’t make it. I hadn’t spent anything all night and I knew that my dad would be upset if I didn’t buy anything, especially since the auction was benefiting a charity so… when they announced that they would auction off a date with one of the members of BTS, I immediately thought of you! And you bet your ass that I made sure to win that date,” she exclaimed before settling into a satisfied chuckle. 
I rolled my eyes in feigned annoyance, “You didn’t have to do that for me.”
“I wanted to. Plus, I knew you would agree to it eventually!”
I shook my head and scoffed lightly as I got up and went to check the calendar that was stuck to the fridge. I looked for the 27th and once I found it I grabbed a pen from the counter and wrote down the event. 
When I was done, I stepped back to look at my handy work before nodding.
“Hey Hari, what day is it again,” I asked.
She hummed as she clicked on her phone, “The 25th.”
The 25th… Wait!
“You gave me a two day notice?!”
I looked back at her and she shrugged.
“Be grateful I gave you a notice and didn’t wait until the last minute.”
“Hari…” I groaned, throwing my head back.
~
Well… this has to be the right place, I thought as I looked up at the giant building that said “HYBE” on the side. I looked back at my phone and went into the message Hari sent me regarding the meeting place. I compared it with the one on the GPS and they were the same so I must be in the right place. 
“Are you sure you gave me the right address,” I texted Hari.
I waited a few moments before she replied, “Is it the HYBE building?”
I looked up again even though nothing would’ve changed within two minutes.
“Yeah,” I texted back.
A few more moments passed before she texted back, “Good, you’re in the right place! He said that he should be done in a few minutes, hold tight!”
I sighed, turning off my phone, then looking around for a place to sit while I waited. Luckily, there was a bench under a tree a few feet away, so I walked over to it and took a seat. Deciding to kill some time, I turned on my phone, looking at the time before scrolling for a bit. 
After a while I checked the time and saw that five minutes had passed. I looked around to see if everyone was approaching me. When I didn’t see anyone, I looked over to the front doors of the building and watched to see if anyone would come out.
After a few moments… no one did.
Thinking that he must’ve got caught up with something, I decided to wait a bit longer and went back to scrolling through my phone. 
Once I started to get bored of scrolling, I looked at the time once more and saw that fifteen minutes had passed this time. I looked around once more and then at the doors to see if he was heading out, but no one was around. I sighed as I called Hari.
“Are you pranking me,” I asked after she picked up.
“Why, what happened?”
“I’ve been waiting outside of the building for twenty minutes and no one has shown up.”
She sighed, “Y/n/n, he must’ve just gotten caught up in something. Why don’t you just go in and ask the front desk?”
I huffed, knowing that asking the front desk would be faster than having Hari text him, but it’s not something I wanted to do.
“Fine.”
“Let me know how it goes, bye,” she said before hanging up.I took a deep breath and trudged my way into the building.
Walking into the lobby of the Hybe I immediately felt out of place. It was polished and pristine.
Not to mention: huge.
The furniture was nicely placed by some of the windows, but before I got too caught up in admiring the lobby, I set out for the front desk.
Luckily, it was straight ahead from the front doors. As I was approaching the desk, I noticed people that were coming in and out needed to scan a card to get through a gate.
Ooh… maybe I’ll just end up waiting out here…
I got to the front desk and softly placed my hands at the edge as the lady looked up to me with a kind smile. 
“What can I do for you,” she asked.
I nervously smiled. “Um, so… this might sound very weird, but I’m here for Min Yoongi? We have a… date?”
“Oh, you’re the one that won the date at the auction, right,” she asked.
I nodded, as she continued, “Yeah, he emailed us at the front desk about it just in case he got caught up in something, which I guess he did. I’ll give him a call.”
“Thank you,” I said as she turned and picked up the phone before dialing.
I looked around as she started talking on the phone, then a few moments later she hung up and turned back to me.
“Okay! He said that he got caught up working on a song and that it might take him a little longer, but he said that it was alright for you to go to his studio so…”
She dug around in one of her drawers before pulling out a lanyard with a card at the end. She, then, reached over her desk and grabbed a pen and a sticky note. 
“This is a visitor key card. It gives you basic clearance into the building, but not into any special rooms, like Yoongi’s studio, so you'll need him to let you in.”
I nodded.
“His studio is on the 5th floor. Once you get there, you take a hard left and it’ll be the first door on the right,” she said, as she finished writing on the sticky note, placing it on the card and handing it to me.
I looked down at the sticky note to see the directions she had just told me and underneath were the words “Genius Lab” with a smiley face.
I looked back at her and smiled, “Thank you so much!”
She nodded and smiled, “Of course! Have a great day!”
I wished her one as well before heading up to Yoongi’s studio.
~
The elevator dinged, signaling that I was on the fifth floor before the doors opened. Stepping out of the elevator, there was a crossroad so following the directions given to me, I turned left.
Interestingly enough, there was only one door on each side of the hall. So looking to the right, I walked over and stood in front of the door that read “Genius Lab”. 
I took out my phone to check the time before turning it off and placing it in my bag. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves and then rang the doorbell.
I waited for a few moments, but nothing happened. Deciding that he might’ve not heard it, I raised my hand to press it again before the door was pushed open revealing Yoongi’s studio. 
Walking in, I was kind of surprised with the vibe of his studio. Everything was very dark and the lights were dimmed. You would think it was the perfect place to take a nap, not where someone would produce some of the top songs in the world.
“You can sit on the couch back there. I should be done in a bit.”
Snapping out of my reverie, I placed my bag on the floor by the door and walked over to sit on the couch.
I felt a little out of place here. I knew that I couldn’t just flop on the couch and make myself at home, so I ended up sitting on the edge out of nervousness.
Yoongi had his headphones on and was busy clicking at something on the computer, so I just occupied my time by looking around his studio. 
There wasn’t anything too out of the ordinary, just basic studio things. A couple pianos to my left, a drum set by the right wall, speakers, recording equipment, and a few things decorating the shelves around the studio.
The best thing, though, was when I looked to the floor and saw the rug that said “Keep Off”, making me quietly chuckle.
The sound of something being placed on the table made me look up as Yoongi leaned back into his chair and ran his hands through his hair while sighing.
“Why doesn’t it sound right,” he quietly questioned.
He let out a frustrated groan as he sat back up and clicked on his mouse before the song started playing over the speakers.
I was surprised that he just started playing the song he’s been working on while I was in the room, but rather than making a scene and walking out, I kept quiet and listened.
It was a really good song, but he was right- it didn’t sound right. It sounded empty. Yoongi knew it too, pausing the song and replaying the part before the chorus.
“Why can’t I figure this out,” he whined.
I smiled before I chimed in, “It sounds empty.”
He whipped his chair around so fast I thought he would get whiplash.
“Oh shit! I forgot you were here.”
I laughed at his surprise.
“Anyway, what did you say about the song?” 
“I said it sounds empty. If you play it again, I could show you,” I said, getting up and walking over to stand beside him. He didn’t move and just stared up at me.
I sighed, “My phone is in my bag, by the door and it’s completely turned off. You can give me a pat down and I can sign a NDA, if you really want to be thorough. It’s not my first rodeo.” 
A small smirk appeared on his face before he lightly shook his head.
“Nah, I think our legal team has enough power to keep someone quiet. Though, I’m surprised they didn’t have you sign an NDA before you came up,” he chuckled.
I smiled, “Me too!”
With that, we turned back to the matter at hand, looking at the screen as he moved the cursor back to the first verse before pressing play.
As I listened to the part leading up to the chorus, I looked over at him and asked if this is what didn’t sound right to him. He nodded and replayed it a final time, solidifying my initial thought.
“Yeah, it sounds empty.”
He turned his chair a little bit to the side to look at me. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that there’s something missing. You know how there’s always a build up to the climax, well… The part that doesn’t sound right- the pre-chorus- is lacking in its build up.” 
He nodded, taking in the information as I voiced my thoughts.
I turned back to the monitor.
“And I think the main reason you haven’t caught onto it is because of what’s going on with the instrumental, it’s so intricate that it kind of makes you blind to what’s lacking in the vocals,” I said, pointing to the group of instrument tracks on the monitor. 
“If you isolate the vocals,” I pointed to the vocal tracks, “then we should be able to hear what’s missing.”
I stepped back as he did what I suggested, then played the vocals.
We listened to the song without the instruments and it became very clear that the vocals were lacking in contrast.
I shifted my weight and crossed my arms while humming as he fell back into his chair in relief and realization as he drew out a small “ohh”. I
nodded, “I knew it was a lack of contrast. Well, all you need to do is make a higher or lower harmony and it should sound good!” 
I turned and went back to sit on the couch as he turned to me.
“You are a lifesaver! I’ve been stuck on this all day,” he said with a relieved smile.
I returned the smile and gave him a nod. He turned back to the computer and went back to work. Putting on his headphones and clicking a few things before pulling a microphone closer to himself and started recording.
It was a lot of fun watching him record the verse, especially when he fumbled over his words making me quietly laugh at the silliness. He did about three takes doing the lower harmony, trying to get the notes right before deciding that the last take was good and adding it to the song.
He gave it one final listen, pumping his fist in the air and letting out a small “yay”. He took off his headphones and started to click on some things before he abruptly stopped and spun his chair around to face me.
“I completely forgot about the date!” I looked at him, surprised.
Oh right… that’s why I’m here… 
“What time is it,” I asked.
He took out his phone and checked the time, “Five o’clock.”
“WHAT?! It’s already been an hour and a half?!”
He nodded, “Yeah, time kind of becomes non-existent here.”
I smiled, “Well, we can reschedule if you want to keep working. I can get out of your hair and we can pick a different time to do the date?” 
“Or…” he started.
I slightly tilted my head in confusion.
“You could stay and we could order take out?”
“What? Why?”
He tilted his head from side to side. “Well, I mean, you’re already here for the date and I would really like your opinion on some other songs on the album.”
I sat there for a moment while giving it some thought before I quietly sighed, “This is gonna be a lot of paperwork, huh?”
His lips stretched into a thin line as he nodded.
I shrugged, flopping on my side to lay on the couch. “Sure.” 
‘’Alright, what do you want for take-out?”
I hummed, “I’ll have whatever you want. I’m not picky with free food.”
“You sound like the members,” he playfully scoffed.
I smiled.
“How about Chinese?”
“Ooh, yes!”
~
While we were waiting for the food to arrive, we had some light banter and Yoongi played a few songs for me to listen to. All of them were really good so there weren't any major changes that needed to be done, just some very minor adjustments like toning down the volume on some tracks or adding an instrument into the instrumental.
Soon enough the doorbell rang, prompting Yoongi to get up and answer the door. He took the bag of take-out from a staff member, giving a small bow as thanks before closing the door.
“Food’s here,” he announced, setting down the food on his desk.
I cheered as he sorted the boxes and brought one over to me. 
“Thank you~” I said, taking the food and the chopsticks.
Opening the take-out box, the delicious aroma of the food filled the air as I took out the chopsticks and broke them in half. I waited for Yoongi as he put on a random playlist to fill the air as we ate.
Once he was ready, I said, “Thank you for the food,” and we began eating.
As we were eating I was starting to get a little thirsty and when I looked around where I was sitting, there was… nothing.
“Hey, did we order any drinks?”
The question made him look around his desk before shrugging, “I guess not, but…”
He turned to the left of his desk and scooted over what happened to be a mini fridge. 
He opened the little door and looked at what he had in the fridge, “So I’ve got either water or… whiskey.”
That checks out.
“I’ll just take a water,” I chuckled as I placed my food to the side and walked over to where he was, taking the bottle of water with a “thank you”.
I sat down and went back to eating after taking a few sips of water.
“So… I’ve got a question,” he piped.
I had food in my mouth so I hummed in response, letting him know he could keep going.
“You said this wasn't your first rodeo, you produced music before?” 
I put up a finger as I hurriedly chewed the food that I had in my mouth before swallowing.
“I actually have a few college friends that went into producing and sometimes they need an outside opinion on a song so they invite me since I have some basic music knowledge. Which means I’ve picked up a few things over time,” I said as I ended with a shrug, scooping some food in my mouth.
“And you didn’t want to pursue it,” he asked and I set my take-out box down once I finished eating.
I sighed, “Not necessarily. I had an interest in music so I minored in Music Studies when I went to college- which is where I met my producer friends, but then life happened as I got a really good job offer at the time so I put that part of my dream on hold.” 
He nodded as I continued, “I wanted to get back into music, but as time went by, being in the music industry and making music felt so far away so I stayed where I was. Which is why I like helping my friends out whenever they ask.”
“Well, you’re really good at it. I mean, I didn’t even know what was wrong with my song until you pointed it out after a couple of listens. I think you would be really good at producing songs because of that,” he said while reaching over to a bowl on top of the minifridge to grab…
Tangerines?
“You just have a bowl of tangerines,” I asked, smiling.
He nodded as he quickly peeled it and popped a slice in his mouth.
“Mhmm. Every great producer has to have their favorite snack on hand. Do you want one?”
I nodded, keeping a small smile on my lips. 
He grabbed one and tossed it over to me, to which I clumsily caught it.
He laughed at the action, making a blush appear on my cheeks. I looked down at the tangerine in my hands, “Thank you. And thank you for the compliments, they mean a lot coming from you.”
I turned the tangerine around for a few seconds before slightly scrunching my nose as I pressed my nail into the skin so I could start peeling it.
Starting tangerines was never my favorite thing to do, but I had to put up with it if I wanted to eat them. And I really liked eating them.
Popping a slice in my mouth, I looked at Yoongi.
“What about you? Did you always know you wanted to do this,” I asked, gesturing to the room we were in.
He shrugged, “Yeah, I’ve been making music since I was little and even if I hadn’t become an idol, I would still be doing this.”
I hummed and we settled into a comfortable silence as I ate the remaining slices. I sighed as I went to grab my phone from my back pocket before I realized I put it in my bag before I came in here.
“Sorry, but what time is it right now,” I asked.
He looked at his watch, replying, “Almost 9.”
“Geez, time really does become non-existent here. It only felt like an hour,” I chuckled.
A small smile appeared on his lips.
“Or maybe we were having such a great time that it just flew by,” he teased.
I smiled as I got up and dusted off my pants. “Well, I should probably head home. It was really nice meeting you!” 
“Wait! I was thinking, if you don’t mind, I would really love it if I could get your opinion on some upcoming songs I’ll be working on soon,” he said as he got up.
“Are you asking for a second date,” I teased.
“That’s one way to put it.”
My eyes widen at the confession.
He nervously chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. 
“I really liked talking to you and I really would like your opinion of some songs, so…” he looked at me in question.
I looked around as if I was deciding what to say before ultimately saying, “Maybe I should get into producing if big time producers are asking for my help.”
He lightly chuckled as I smiled, “I would love to!”
He smiled.
“Oh wait!”
I tilted my head in question as I watched him hurriedly walk over to the minifridge to grab a tangerine and peeled it while walking back to me.
He held out a freshly peeled tangerine for me to take, “One for the road.”
I grabbed it, smiling, “You didn’t have to do that.”
He shrugged, “I saw you scrunch your nose when you peeled your own.” 
I blushed at the gesture. “You are quite observant. I love eating these, but I hate peeling them.”
“So... same time next week?”
I happily nodded, “I mean, if I get freshly peeled tangerines every time I come, I would be over all the time.”
“Hmm, that can be arranged,” he smiled.
Taglist:
@maple-leaves-in-the-wind
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bangtanfanfiction · 8 months
Text
hopelessly falling  → k. sunwoo (tbz)
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Based on this ask.
♢ Pairing: Sunwoo x Idol!female Reader → Idol AU
♢ Word count: 6.8k
♢ Trope: 8th f!member of BTS, strangers-to-lovers, Older!woman x Younger!man
♢ Genre: Fluff, suggestive, angst if you squint ig
⌲ Description: Being the 8th female member of BTS has brought you more trials than you could count. Now being the only one left behind after their enlistments was another obstacle you struggled adjusting to, until you found yourself hopelessly falling for someone completely unexpected. ↳ Warnings: Makeout session, swearing. Sunwoo being a flirty menace but we're loving it.
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HOBI: Good luck, Y/N! You’ll crush it like always! JIMIN: You’ll do great! JIN: We’ll be monitoring you :)) YOONGS: Don’t be nervous, you’ll be amazing, kiddo. JOONIE: Y/N fighting! JK: Fighting! TAE: Go, go, go Y/N!
Despite the relentless thumping of your heart, or the cold sweat building up on the surface of your skin - there was no hiding the loving smile pulling at your lips as you scrolled through the messages in the group chat bombarding the notifications without you having to even ask.
Your members knew you well enough at this point after more than ten years together that when you went radio silent on all platforms, it meant you were drowning in your nerves. 
Frankly, how couldn‘t you? You were the last of BTS to release your solo album, and only after all of them had enlisted into the military with you sending them off accompanied by a snotty nose each time. If you could, you probably would have enlisted as well despite being a woman just to not be alone until Seokjin or Hobi were to return. 
Ah…This was hard. You thought, dropping the phone back on the table and looking yourself in the mirror. 
Taking in your elaborate makeup and clothes, hair styled to perfection not a single speck of mascara or blush out of place. You were surrounded by people; your management team and stylists. People who had been with you for more than five years, but the loneliness had never felt more heavy than today.
You thought you had prepared yourself for it. Mentally that is. Your boys had also been exceptionally worried for your mental well-being for when it was time and made sure to give you all sorts of ways to communicate with them. 
The irony was that you actually enjoyed your own space. Being alone at home for days and doing nothing besides your usual workout routine was ideal, truly. 
Until you understood the saying ´You don't know what you have until it's gone.´ 
Clearly not as overly dramatic or depressing as the original meaning. But still, you felt their absence all the same. 
The only comfort you could find from this was Yoongi with his alternative enlistment and still being around for you to find comfort in after his working hours. 
But you hadn’t sought out his presence for a couple of weeks now, being too busy with your prep and wanting to let him get used to his new routine before barging in with your cries of loneliness. 
“Maybe I should get a boyfriend…” You muttered to yourself, catching the delighted attention of your main stylist unnie, Aera, whose eyes widened at those words.
“You want a boyfriend?” She straightened up as if finding a 50 percent off sale on designer goods, making you regret having spoken at all. “Ooo, do you want me to introduce you to someone? I can set up a blind date! You like them like ten years older, don’t you? All alpha male and stuff? I know a couple of men like that.”
Her ranting and frankly too-knowledgeable about your preferences made you heat up in slight exasperation. 
Okay, so what - you tended to gravitate towards buff, white men in their late thirties bordering on forties. Just because you might faint at the sight of Henry Cavill or Chris Evans hardly meant much for your real-life preferences. 
Ask Jimin. You dated him – a brief one year - and he was hardly a carbon copy of Captain America or The Witcher. 
“Unnie, I’ve already told you…”
Aera sighed before mimicking what you hardly believed sounded like yourself. “I know, I know. I’m not looking for anyone, it happens when it happens.”
It wasn’t the first time you’ve had this conversation with her. 
“Besides, why is everyone being so pushy about me finding someone?” You directed this question to the rest of the room, who laughed amongst themselves at the truth of it. 
“Because your last boyfriend was Jimin, and that is honestly sad, darling.” Your manager, Yoo-Mi, piped up from the corner while scrolling through her phone. Probably double checking your upcoming schedules and forward emails to the rest of the staff. She was always working despite you begging her to take it easy sometimes. 
Turning around in your chair, you frowned. “It’s only been three years.” Going into the fourth since your mutual breakup. 
“Exactly, sad.” She didn’t relent, making your shoulders slump, another titter of fond laughter spread through the room. “Listen, Jiminie is great, of course he is. So we don’t blame you for already reaching the top when it comes to standards in men. But when was the last time you had a crush?”
“A crush?” Even the word sounded foreign to you. 
“Henry Cavill does not count.”
“But that’s a crush!” You exclaimed. “I could pull him.”
“That’s not a crush, that’s a fantasy. You haven’t even met the man.”
“Rude…” You mumbled with a pout, though admitting defeat. 
Damn, so everyone thought your dating life was dry and depressing. Great. 
You knew they all meant well, acting like an overbearing family. And in the end, they just wanted you to be happy. 
“Y/N it’s time to head out.”
Standing up you took one last overview in the mirror before typing out a reply to the group chat.
Y/N: I'm off now! Love you!
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You had completely forgotten how music shows worked. It had been three years since the group promoted for ‘ON’ in the midst of covid with countless of measurements. You hadn’t stepped foot on a show since, besides supporting your members for their recent promotions. 
It had also been more than a year since you’ve done any performances within Korea, having only just returned from your American solo promotions - so for you, everything felt more awkward than familiar despite your years of experience in the industry. 
You heard the cheers of the crowd just as you walked into the studio where the live recording was going on for another boygroup, the hard-hitting smooth beats making your head nod as you stopped in front of a screen to overlook the stage. 
Staff moved around you, securing a mic-pack before your sparkling microphone with a gradient purple to black found itself in your hand. The fans were screaming and chanting, and you found your attention caught without realizing it. 
You counted ten guys on the screen as they danced fiercely in commendable synchronization looking like one single unit as they moved. 
The Boyz was a familiar group to you, an old memory from an award show where they had asked BTS for a picture with shy grins and you had nearly cooed at their cuteness. Then again when Kingdom: Legendary War had aired you found yourself tuning in to watch every week. 
However, this was the first you’ve seen of the group since then - having been far too busy to keep up with all the groups on the regular, never mind every single song. 
You were enjoying the song currently playing, head nodding to the beat as you watched on. 
Not even you noticed how you had simply frozen at the next chorus, your attention wholly stolen for a mere couple of seconds. 
But it had been enough to change your entire world when the moment was recounted by your team in the future. 
“Hi, hello,
My name is what you want it to
숨겨 왔던
욕망들을 whisper.”
Huh. 
A sneeze suddenly forced itself out of you as you glared at the culprit, Aera smiling pointedly while holding a makeup brush that she had just tickled under your nostrils. 
“What was that for?” You grumbled, the room coming back into your attention. 
“My, my Y/N - is that a blush I see?” She teased as you scoffed, eyes flickering to the stage as the song came to an end. 
“You’re being ridiculous.” You dismissed her swiftly, ignoring the hum she gave and letting her touch up your already flawless makeup.
You were waiting patiently near the stairs, letting your management team take the last checks for your setup as people rushed around on stage to clean up and get it ready for your performance.  
The Boyz were making their way down and were impressively quick to notice you, though you blamed it on your bright white clothes in the darkness. You watched in patient amusement as some of their eyes widened, and even saw a member slapping the one in front of him with a muted gasp. 
You offered them a friendly grin as their flustered bodies caught up and everyone started bowing, their waists nearly snapping in half as you took half a step forward. 
“Please, take it easy.” You laughed lightly. “I loved your performance. The song is amazing.”
The obvious leader stepped forward, again bending at the waist but spoke with a sure and calm voice. “Thank you, Sunbaenim. It’s an honor.” 
The members were quick to follow with various choruses of thank yous, however, some had accepted your words and took it a bit easier with the bowing.  
“We love your album, sunbaenim. It’s been on repeat in the dorm since its release.” He continued to lead the conversation, the group of young men creating a half circle around you. 
“Oh thank you so much!” There was no hint of any pretense in your tone, you were always immensely grateful when people told you they loved your music. 
“You’re the leader, right? What’s your name?” 
“Yes, I am. I’m Sangyeon.”
“Ah right!” Your fingers snapped in excitement. “I remember you, of course. From the MMA’s…was it 2018?”
Some of their eyes widened in surprise to know that you remembered them. You relished in it honestly, always loving to prove people wrong about the public’s assumption of how worldwide fame and recognition had made BTS arrogant and seemingly unapproachable. 
“Y-yes, that’s correct, thank you for remembering us.” 
“I enjoyed watching you on Kingdom.” You admitted, noticing how they were starting to relax around you, smiling more easily and paying attention as if you were the president holding a speech. “You were one of my favorite groups throughout the whole second season.”
Again they started bowing and thanking you, luckily less aggressive than earlier. 
“Y/N-sshi, we are ready for you in five minutes. Please make your way to the stage, thank you.” A voice announced through the speakers as The Boyz started to bow again and ushered away as you offered brief goodbyes. 
But then you made the mistake of looking up, finding yourself locked in a trance of soft, plump lips, thick eyebrows, puppy dog eyes, and a slim angular face - your throat felt parched as your mouth parted, but no sound came out and you snapped it back shut embarrassed. 
Kim Sunwoo noticed the sudden strange behavior, as a single brow rose but he remained polite with a simple tug of his lips and a slight bow. 
His dark straight hair was parted in the middle, reminding you of the styles from 90’s boybands. You admired the way his slim t-shirt molded against his lean body with the leather pants and a thick silver chain around his neck. A chain he had pulled seductively while gliding across the floor and stared into the camera.
An image still swimming in your mind. 
An appraisal that you were quick to scold yourself over as you felt yourself blushing even hotter, eyes snapping away only hoping he didn’t notice your weird actions. 
Only to find yourself stumbling over your own feet in a moment of rare clumsiness. 
You managed to save yourself the embarrassment of falling to the ground, but only with Sunwoo’s quick thinking. Who had smoothly stepped close and held out a hovering arm just in case you were to fall, his other gently around your bicep to keep your balance. 
Fuck, you were making a whole fool out of yourself.
No one had noticed it, thank goodness. All too busy with their tasks to pay attention to the interaction.
“Are you okay?” Jesus, his voice was deep. “Sunbaenim?” He hastily added, seemingly remembering your status. 
“I-I’m okay.” You even stuttered now. Since when did you ever stutter. “Sorry, and thank you.”
“You should watch where you’re going.” He offered a half smile, those lips looking even more ridiculously plump and soft close as you stared up at him. “Careful not to get hurt.”
At this point, you were sure he noticed your flustered state as you cleared your throat and took a small step back out of his grip. 
“I should get going.” Was all you managed to say in your embarrassed state, swiftly stepping past him to walk up the stage but not before glancing back and noticing the amused pull of his features as he quietly chuckled to himself and followed his members out.
Aera made her sudden presence known as you flinched at her proximity, only to feel your stomach drop at the near-manic grin on her face. 
“Now that, is a crush, my dear.”
You wanted to curl up into a ball and scream your frustrations out from that whole interaction, but could only brace yourself with a smile as you were faced with the crowd who cheered as you came into view. 
Dozens of ARMY bombs waving helped settle the worry in your gut just for now. 
Nicely done, Y/N. Worldwide icon, indeed huh. 
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You were still thinking about it as you exited the stage studio. 
So caught up in your lingering embarrassment and out-of-character behavior that even surprised yourself. 
Over what?! A pretty face? A voice that made your skin tingle just by the rasp of it?
“Fucking get a grip, Y/N…” You muttered, fingers massaging your temples as you returned to your dressing room. 
Only to walk straight into your next phase of what-the-fuck-is-wrong-with-you. Quite literally too. 
Sunwoo let out a low ‘Whoa’ as you gasped and stumbled back to fully avoid running him down in your haste to hide yourself away until the nominations live broadcast. 
The toilet sign hung above his head as he maneuvered both of you to the side and away from the doors.  
“Oh my-” You were practically bumbling fool as your hands moved in silent explanation without many words to follow up, but he understood you well enough with a small, charming grin making his eyes crinkle and nose scrunch up just the slightest. 
“Hello, sunbaenim.” He gave a polite nod of his head. “It’s one of those days, huh?”
“Yeah…” You sighed in defeat, hardly trying to keep up that big and mighty senior artist image any longer. “I’m sorry it’s been taken out on you today.”
Sunwoo never lost his smile. “Don’t worry about it. It’s hardly the worst thing that happened to me at music shows.”
You nodded thankfully, very much aware that you were avoiding looking at him directly. Just for your own sanity, if you were being transparent. 
“You can stop that, by the way…” My god, were you shy, right now?
“Stop what?”
You cleared your throat. “Calling me sunbaenim all the time. I’m not very fond of the stiff formalities, so you can just relax around me.”
“Ah…” Even though you weren’t looking at him, you could feel his thinking. “Then… would noona be alright?” 
Your neck might as well have cracked with how quickly you snapped up to stare at him with widened eyes. Only to meet a knowing smirk gracing his dangerously, pretty face.
“N-noona?” You repeated almost stupidly.
“And here I thought my breath smelled or something. You wouldn’t even look at me.” The smirk widened.
Calming yourself in record time, you were composed enough to retort with a halfhearted glare. “You’re making fun of me, aren’t you?”
“You are making it very easy.” Kim Sunwoo was a straightforward man, you realized. “I suppose I would be too if caught checking someone out.” Well fuck. 
Your first step was denial. “I wasn’t-”
“Don’t feel embarrassed about it. I know I’m good-looking, noona. Just didn’t realize it was to the point of losing gravity.”
If you weren’t quick on catching onto dry humor, you might have thought him deadly serious with how flat he spoke those words. But you were well versed with this sort. Yoongi being a perfect example of it. 
The exaggerated push you delivered against his shoulder came from a place of familiarity with your own members, and Sunwoo didn’t seem to mind the casualness of it as his facade broke and he laughed. 
Giggling along, you shook your head. “You’re good.”
“I know.”
However, your smile fell at his sudden wince and how swiftly he managed to play it off within a second. But you were a quick study and noticed how subtly he rolled his neck. 
“Are you hurting somewhere?” You were blunt in your concern, this time surprising him. 
“Ah…” He was considering lying, you knew that. Having done it many times before yourself. But Sunwoo brushed the moment off.  “It’s just a bit of muscle stiffness in my neck and shoulders, nothing too serious. Don’t worry about it.”
You scrutinized him for a couple of seconds before accepting it. “If you say so. But I wouldn’t be dancing as hard as you did today with that kind of pain. Be a little mindful at least and ease back.”
Sunwoo was appreciative of your advice, accepting it with a gracious nod and another, quite frankly, heart-palpating smile directed at you. You could probably just stand here and admire him for several minutes in silence if it was offered to you, but you had an image to maintain after all.
An image that fell through the moment Kim Sunwoo was involved. 
“Getting lost in my beauty again, are you?” His teasing was never-ending, but instead of annoying you it only managed to pull your smile even wider. 
“You are ridiculous.” Was all you managed to say with a chuckle. 
He bit into his lower lip thoughtfully before deciding against whatever mental war he was having. “Ridiculous enough to ask for your number?”
There it was again. Your dry throat, and the way your heart probably skipped a beat. 
“You…want my number?”
“I mean, who doesn’t want a BTS member’s number.” Sunwoo shrugged, that stupid fitted t-shirt and chain catching your attention again. 
So you quirked a brow at him, knowing something else was coming. “And that’s your goal? A BTS member’s number?”
“That would be cool.” He was being awfully truthful until his eyes locked onto your own. “But I would love having the number of a beautiful woman more. Perhaps with a date on the side?”
Your surprise at his bold confession was hardly hidden, mouth parting as you blinked up at him expecting a joke to follow. 
This wasn’t exactly the first time you’ve been asked out by someone, but it has always been a bigger or older senior until BTS blew up to the point other idols found it too intimidating to approach anymore. It was a love-hate relationship for you in those circumstances. 
Yet Kim Sunwoo managed to cross those unwritten boundaries without fear of outside consequences, his gaze firmly locked on your own without notice of anything going on around you standing by the toilets in a public hallway. 
“Are you sure you would want to risk that?” Those words tasted bitter on your tongue when all you wanted to do was say yes. 
But you weren’t a fool. Anyone getting involved with BTS would always get a spotlight of any kind shone on them, wanted or not. And you made sure to warn them of it. 
Sunwoo was not shaken by it. Only quirking up a brow as if saying so what. 
Your heart thumped even harder. So you held out a hand and he wordlessly put his phone in it as the clicking of your manicured nails swiftly typed in your number. 
You watched as he typed in whatever name he chose to give you in his contacts and pocketed the device again.
“I’ll be waiting for that date.” You smiled with satisfaction to see the top of his ears turning red, brushing past him.
So you weren’t the only one affected at least.
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UNKNOWN: What’s your favorite drink? Y/N: Who is this? UNKNOWN: I’m hurt, noona.  Y/N:  Ah Hello to you too, Sunwoo You changed Unknown’s name to Sunwoo. SUNWOO: Backtracking to the question. Y/N:  I’m a coffee addict SUNWOO: Ofc, the drink of life. Let me guess, iced americano? Y/N: I’m more of a sweet latte girl SUNWOO: A woman after my own heart. Y/N:  Alright you little flirt Care to explain? SUNWOO: I’m planning for our date ofc Y/N: Oh? Did I miss the location? SUNWOO: It’s a surprise Y/N: Should I be worried? SUNWOO: Why do you keep doubting me :(  Y/N: Acting cute won’t help you SUNWOO: heart emoji Y/N: But fine, better not disappoint me, Kim Sunwoo I got high standards after all ;) SUNWOO: I guess the pressure is on
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“Hi.”
“...hey.”
Your soft giggle on the other side of the phone made Sunwoo smile without realizing it. 
“Why are you breathless?”
“Ah…” He kicked away a stray pair of pants on the floor before sitting down on his bed, making sure the door was closed. “I ran to my room when you called. We just got back from the schedules.”
“You could have just called me back.” There was rustling on your end, and looking at the time he assumed you were just getting into bed. 
“I didn’t wanna leave you hanging.”
“Hm, what a gentleman.”
“For you? Always.”
You giggled again. A sound Sunwoo was certain he was becoming obsessed with hearing. 
“I tried seeing you today.” 
“Yeah.” He lowered his voice just in case any of his members were to hear him. “Me too. It was quite hectic today, I’m sorry.” 
“Don’t be. I know how it gets.”
“What did you do today?”
“Besides the music show? Just some interviews and a radio recording. I’m keeping my promotions at the bare minimum this time around.”
Stretching out on the bed, he couldn’t help but tease you. “Of course, the power of BTS.”
“Oh shush you.”
A silence settled between you. But it was a comfortable one, strangely enough. No awkward shuffling of clothes to have something to do, or the tense waiting for the other to speak. 
“I like this.” His voice was grating with how low he was trying to keep it. 
“...Like what?”
“This. Just talking to you, noona.”
Sunwoo could hear the smile in your voice. “I like this too. Very much so.”
It was hard to say how many hours the two of you spoke every night since that fateful day, but there were certainly no complaints on either end.
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“This is fucking ridiculous.” Roughly peeling off the cropped denim jacket, you would feel guilty about how you threw it in the corner later. Aera would understand, hopefully. 
The stupid conflict between HYBE and MBC was no industry secret. But you managed to convince your company to give them another chance by letting you promote there this time after several years of avoiding the place. 
And did you regret it. 
“Do they think they can take me for a fucking idiot because I’m solo?” You seethed, whirling to stare at Yoo-Mi. She had a displeased expression as well, already tapping on her phone furiously as mutters of annoyance spread through the rest of your management team. 
You had been on a tense tirade the entire morning with the MBC production team and director about how you wanted your performance to be captured. They were obviously not used to how much creative freedom you were usually privy to and fought you the entire way, with passive-aggressive suggestions going against what you wanted. 
They only kept messing up, from your mic glitching on stage to the sound being off in your in-ear despite your several attempts to fix it during rehearsals. So the final product ended up being a complete mess in your own opinion, finding faults in every single frame in the live broadcast, your voice not being clear enough, and backtracking far too loud to convince viewers you were singing live despite having more than enough proof throughout the ten years. 
The haters would have a field day with that. 
“-a complete mess today, I’m telling you!” Your manager’s voice was going on in the background. 
“I can’t do this right now.” With a pointed look a Yoo-Mi, she nodded in understanding as you walked out of the dressing room towards wherever there were fewer people. 
You found a random hallway, fairly empty with an empty cushioned bench away from the main area of dressing rooms. Slumping down with your back resting against the cold wall, you closed your eyes with a tired groan. 
It was moments like these where you craved the support of your members. If this were Namjoon, he would not have relented in getting this perfect, Yoongi and Hobi right by his sides with their penetrating gazes to make sure. Jimin and Tae would be by you in their comfort, whereas Jin and JK would make extra sure that things weren’t spiraling out of control by being the compromisers in the middle. 
You weren’t a pushover, far from it. But you weren’t one for confrontations unless absolutely necessary. Today could have gone several ways with much better results if not for the underlying conflict between business companies. 
You don’t know if you dozed off or were simply in your own world. But the sudden cold, damp surface of something on your forehead made you flinch up as your eyes connected with the concerned ones of Sunwoo. 
He held an iced coffee in hand, the same one he was pressing against your skin as you allowed yourself to relax. 
“Are you okay?”
Standing up, you instead ignored the question and wrapped your smaller hand around his own still holding on to the cup. “Is this for me?”
He nodded, lips peeling back into a small smile as you accepted it. “A caramel macchiato latte, extra espresso shot.”
You had only mentioned your preferred drink once, but he had it memorized already.
“Thank you.”
Leaning with a shoulder against the wall, hand in a pocket - the concerned glint in his eyes never went away. Wearing a similar fit to the one when you first met him, Sunwoo was still as handsome as ever. Instead of a t-shirt, he wore a fitting turtleneck, a cropped blazer that made him seem even broader, and those damn leather pants with silver accessories adorned his hands, ears, and neck.  
His slightly bronzer skin compared to others seemed to glow. A feature of him you would never be sick of admiring. 
“Are you going to keep staring at me in silence?” Your lips quirked up before taking a sip from the drink, the taste of it getting your mood up. 
“Not if you say what’s bothering you.”
“What makes you think there is?”
Sunwoo snorts. “I walked passed you earlier and you didn’t even notice.”
Glancing at the coffee in your hand. “And you went to get me coffee?”
“I thought you needed something to cheer you up.”
So you gave in. “Just creative differences with the director here. My manager is taking care of it.”
Sunwoo hummed in understanding. “But are you okay?”
His brows were furrowed, those lips you could never ignore pulled into the slightest pout. Swallowing your nerves you stepped even closer. Sunwoo straightened up at the proximity but not moving away. He waited for you. 
“Can I hug you?” Your whisper practically melted him as everything about him softened. 
“Of course.”
Without hesitation, you put the cup down on the bench before snaking your arms around his slim waist, face tucked into the hollow of his neck and shoulder, and breathed him in. 
The aroma of ground coffee beans and subtle vanilla, all wrapped up in notes of sweet fruits and blended spices of sandalwood and sage; a scent you would forever associate with him from this moment.
Sunwoo’s arms wrapped around you, hand gently stroking your back as you relished in the comfort he was providing. A feeling you had missed immensely. 
You were falling, and there was nothing to stop you from being completely consumed by the orbit that was Kim Sunwoo.
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Sunwoo was mesmerized. 
Quite frankly frozen to his spot in the dressing room, standing in the middle of the room, drink forgotten in hand as he stared at the screen where you were currently one of the last performers. 
Fair enough, he wasn’t exactly old, still young at the age of twenty-three, and being one of the youngest in his group he was often reminded of it. But he wasn’t ignorant. Especially not enough to ignore the fact he had fallen easily and quickly down the rabbit hole that was Y/N of BTS. 
Where everyone else saw the star quality encasing your every being, he managed to see past it. Your shyness that you often hid behind the pretense of a bold personality when faced with strangers. Sunwoo could see how you were struggling to be by yourself on stages where you used to be with seven others and had quite quickly used his presence as a comfort to chase your struggles away. 
And he had happily complied. It started with texting until he crossed that line by calling you one evening after a scheduled music show where neither had managed to talk, but craved to. 
After several of nights of calling each other, you surprised him one evening by turning on Facetime, sending his heart stuttering at the beautiful sight of you all barefaced in cozy pajamas under dim lighting as you settled yourself on a couch. 
Yet you still hadn’t found time to meet properly. The end-of-year season was always hectic with the amount of promotions and award shows that went on, especially for his group. Making that long-awaited date having to be put on pause. 
Sunwoo didn’t even expect you to attend after that fiasco of a recording earlier in the month until he woke up to a text this morning from you letting him know, with an unwritten hope to find some time to meet.
“Sunwoo’s in love.” A jest from one of his members snapped him out of the stupor as he simply rolled his eyes with a smirk, playing off the words even though they made him sweat. 
If only his members knew the truth. 
“She’s amazing.” Another compliment followed by several others as his members fell into a light discussion about you and your well-known ability to control a stage and make people pay attention by a single note of your voice. All that without the help of your members. 
Sunwoo felt like the clock was dragging by - his energy and hope diminishing with each minute while pretending he was okay around everyone. The award show was nearing its end, with you closing it before all performers would meet for the closing stage. 
He must have been one of the first members out the door when the call to gather was announced. His casual eagerness was enough to catch the curious attention of a few members, but he did the best he could to act his normal self. 
The stage was packed with the dozens of groups and performances that had joined for the event. Sunwoo made sure to stay close to his group, but he also couldn’t help the way his eyes kept searching for someone in particular. He had caught glimpses of you walking around the stage waving at fans, but also greeting artists who were eager to say hi. 
You were keeping close to your labelmates, TXT, laughing and smiling with them openly with an arm looped around Yeonjun’s like an older sister. Sunwoo would be lying if he didn’t feel jealous seeing you act so openly affectionate with them, but he reined in the green monster quickly. 
He barely managed to reign in his shock when squished amid the crowd as everyone tried to leave the stage and a familiar hand wrapped itself around his own with a quick squeeze before letting go again. Sunwoo saw your back as you walked away in front of him, still beside TXT. 
You never gave any indication it had happened besides the barest of glances over your shoulder. 
The next time Sunwoo managed to see you was by being dragged quite forcefully into a cleaning supply closet as the door closed behind him with a thump and lock turning.
He huffed out a laugh as you stood before him, a guilty grin painted on your lips. 
“Was that a bit too rough?”
“It was perfect.” Sunwoo continued to chuckle and finally took you in. 
The two of you were matching in black, his an assemble of leather and silver accents, whereas you were all sparkling sheer fabric with thigh-high stilettos and matching mini skirt. Jesus fuck. 
 His throat bobbed as his male mind caught up to what was happening: standing in a small-sized closet in dim lighting, with you only inches away from him dressed like actual sin. 
“Do you think they’ll notice?” You asked worried, gnawing on your lower lip. His gaze zeroed on the action. 
“My members definitely have, but they’ll think I probably ran off to the bathroom.”
“We won’t have long then.” The downturned vision of glossy lips made him lick his own, in anticipation or nerves, Sunwoo wasn’t sure. 
He could hear and feel everything now. The sound of your breaths, the rising of your chest, and the heat of your skin only a fingertip away from his touch. You must have caught on to the same desire because you finally looked at him - as in thoroughly looking, doing an appraisal of him from head to toe with a sly tilt to your head, eyes lingering on the cropped fabric of his shirt - lips pulling up into a smile. 
Someone was clearly not feeling shy anymore. He didn’t know if it was a good thing for him. 
“-can I kiss you, noona?” Sunwoo cut off any words you wanted to say. And you didn’t seem all that surprised. “I need to kiss you. actually.”
“Need to, huh?” You were clearly very amused by his words. “Then who am I to stop you?” 
Oh yeah. Definitely a dangerous turn for his sanity. 
“You’re such a tease.” Sunwoo couldn’t help but mutter as he hauled you against him firmly, cutting off your giggle with his lips which turned into a pleased sigh.
Your arms reached up to wrap around his neck, pressed up against each other down to your hips as you raked your nails through his scalp causing a shudder and a groan to leave him. 
Sunwoo kissed you enthusiastically but slowly, seemingly on a mission to memorize every single crevice in your mouth, those plumb lips feeling even softer on your own. He turned your bodies around, never separating from your mouth when he suddenly bent only to pick you up. 
You squeaked in surprise, pulling back momentarily only to be pushed even firmer against the door, your legs spreading to accommodate him between your thighs, your skirt scrunching up. 
That all melted away as you let out a soft moan as Sunwoo finally sucked on your tongue, humming against you with a smirk tugging in the corner of his mouth. He moved away, to the corner of your lips, behind your ear, and down to your neck - wet kisses and his tongue making you pant as your thighs squeezed around his hips. 
Your fingers that were already in his hair tightened their grip even further, holding him against you where he was kissing your neck with a breathless whine and Sunwoo only chuckled at your reaction. 
Honestly, you hadn’t expected him to pick you up just like that. But no part of you was certainly complaining by the turn of events. 
He was more than ready to go further, you noticed. And to be fair, so were you. So strung up with your nerves desperate to find release in any kind that you could have fucked him right in this closet. If it weren’t for the time and place. 
Manvouring Sunwoo’s face back up, you only got a glimpse of his flushed appearance, lidded eyes, and swollen lips before you kissed him again. This time much slower, trying your damn best to calm both of you down. 
Your feet found the ground again, Sunwoo leaning in over you with both hands cupping the back of your neck almost too gently, but a hold that you couldn’t help but rest into. 
It was a struggle to separate, he found out. Pulling back but always needing to dip back in for another kiss or peck. He did it so many times that you ended up laughing. 
“Fuck, I can’t seem to let you go,” Sunwoo murmured, thumb caressing your cheek softly as your eyes sparkled up at him. 
“It’s not the last time.” You assured him, leaning in to press your lips against his neck for a little teasing touch as you smirked in satisfaction feeling him shudder before nuzzling close. 
“I know…” He sighed heavily, obviously not wanting to leave, but the clock was ticking. And the more time they spent lost in each other’s arms would make everyone else around them more suspicious. 
So with a heavy heart and frankly, half a boner - Sunwoo pushed himself away so you could open the door. He took the lead, peeling it open slowly and looking both ways to see it was surprisingly sparse with only a couple of staff on the other end. 
You held onto his hand from behind him, sneaking out slowly as the door clicked shut. From there both of you rushed to where your dressing rooms were - you only being a few doors down from him. 
Just as the sign of The Boyz were in view, Yoo-Mi, your manager came out of your door and freezing both to the spot. 
Sunwoo cursed, body tensing beside you, but he was assured quickly to see the almost entertained smirk on the older woman’s face as she waltzed in their direction. 
“Unnie.” You greeted her sheepishly, never letting go of his hand. You actually moved closer as Sunwoo bowed in greeting. 
“Not a crush, huh?” That was all Yoo-Mi said before shaking her head and moving on. “I’m going toilet, be quick, we’re leaving soon.”
Then they were alone again. Slowly glancing at each other, Sunwoo bit down on his lip before snorting out a laugh with you following with a low laugh. 
“That went well.” He grinned. 
“We really have to go now,” You gave a pointed look at their intertwined hands. 
“Yeah…” His grin didn’t fall as his large hands gently gripped your hips and pulled you closer. You hardly had the power to resist him. “Goodbye kiss?”
“You will be the death of me, Kim Sunwoo.”
Sunwoo leaned down with a mischievous tilt to his mouth, lips brushing against yours as he spoke. “But you would love that, noona.”
Leaning up you sealed the kiss softly, hands resting on his chest only to flinch apart the very next second. 
“Yah Kim Sunw-!”
Q or Changmin stood in the open doorway with his mouth dropped open, only for the two of them to realize they had placed themselves directly in front of The Boyz’ dressing room.
Giving a complete view of both of them to everyone inside as heavy silence fell. 
Well. There went the secrecy.
“What…the hell?” 
Simultaneously taking in the jaw-dropped expressions of his members. You and Sunwoo couldn’t hold back your nearly manic cackles as you fell into him for support.
“Am I dreaming?” Someone wondered out loud in English. 
If this was a dream, then you would never want to wake up. 
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Thank you for reading!
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