#bookable

[challenge-ant]

when he shuts the door to that van they kiss with tongues

[southstand]

they keep kicking the ball away and the ref keeps refusing to card them for it

[picknmixsims]

No Driving Without A Licence - No Child Lesson Calls Patch

Stops children from being able to call the driving centre and booking a lesson.  This is an "immersion" only patch, as the workaround is not to direct the child to make the call!  The patch can be downloaded here.

Thanks to renfree for alerting me to this.

[elainemorisi]

what is even the point of a hotel search engine that ignores room requirements, like. no I do not want a single king bed for two adults + a kid, a) the fuck b) the second adult is my father aurg

[medusasbush]

fred armison’s agent must just be working night and day. man is not funny and he’s in EVERYTHING

[mkscatgirl]

I have literally no idea what I'm supposed to do :)

[mcufan72]

Sugar and Cinnamon

Loki and female reader (AU) / 18+

Chapter 4

Chapter 3

Warnings: smutty, protected sex and it might end differently than you expect, contains fluff, angst, morally grey stuff, and uncertainty

Note: this chapter got a bit long (~6.7k words) but I didn't know where to cut

About two hours later, you arrived at the premium five-star hotel in Manhattan. Walker had driven you there and was now opening the limousine's door for you. Loki left the car first and nodded in thanks to Walker before he offered you his hand helping you to get out of the limousine's backseat. You straightened the blazer of your trouser suit and asked him for a minute alone with Walker. Loki walked a few steps away from you two to give you the space to talk to Walker undisturbed.

“You know what to do, y/n? In case he does anything you dislike and doesn't stop doing it?” Walker questioned quietly.

“Yes, pushing the emergency number on my phone,” you answered calmly.

“Right. Please, place it close to you in reachable distance. If you call me, I'll be there in under a minute.”

“Thank you, Walker. You'll be waiting here for me, right?”

“Yes, Ma'am. I'm here. After your date ends, at midnight at the latest, I'll await you within 30 minutes as usual. If you're not back right in time, I'll be looking for you. Promised. Take care, y/n.”

You nodded at Walker and your mouth formed a silent ‘thank you’ and you gave him a shy smile. You felt a bit embarrassed because he knew exactly why you were here and what you were going to do here next. He also knew it was the first time you would spend intimate hours with a client. But Walker was your protector, your support since you worked as an escort lady and he would never judge you.

Loki guided you through the entrance hall to the lift. When you stood beside him in the lift he saw your hands trembling. You were nervous, and so was he. Was this your first time, too? Having paid sex in a hotel? You were an escort lady and you didn't answer his question concerning this issue and it wouldn't be unusual or bad if you'd done it before. He had casual sex with several women, too…but not paid sex yet. But he didn't mind. He just wanted to be together with you and he just hoped you weren't afraid of him. He would never hurt you.

You were so nervous and tried not to show him how much. You wanted to be self-confident and tempting for him. That's what he would pay for and he deserved first-class treatment from you.

“Come,” you said to him when the lift had reached the floor where your room was and took him by his hand. His hand felt good and soft and somehow it took some of your nervousness away.

You opened the door with the keycard and entered the spacious suite. Pure luxury welcomed you two. A comfortable king-size bed with many fluffy cushions and an oversized duvet made of silk, across from the bed a big sofa, and a coffee table with a bowl filled with exotic fruits. A golden champagne bucket with a bottle of the best champagne, next to it a bottle of the best Scottish whisky and of course, two champagne glasses and two whisky tumblers were also placed on the table. Dimmed lights created a comfortable atmosphere and an amazing view over downtown Manhattan through two floor-to-ceiling window fronts crowned this luxury suite.

Next to the bed stood a vanity table and a chair, your small travel bag already waiting there for you, non-visibly and discreetly next to the vanity table. You had some personal things in it, things like spare clothes, additional lingerie, condoms, cigarettes and some toiletries. You stored the bag at REA a few days ago after you had told Rhea you were bookable for the weekends now too. In case you would spend unforeseen intimate hours with a client, Rhea could bring it there and prepare the suite for the tryst. She preferred to do it herself for her escort ladies to ensure that everything was perfectly prepared for them. The suite also enclosed a first-class bathroom with a big bathtub for two and a half-open shower, big enough to dance in it. It also had a floor-to-ceiling window and the view over Manhattan was breathtaking.

While Loki crossed the room to look out of the window you took some things out of your bag. You draped your black kimono with lace-trimmed sleeves over the back of the chair and a bottle of lube and condoms on the nightstand. In long, slow strides Loki went from the floor-to-ceiling windows over to you and took the bottle of lube from the nightstand into his hand. His hand was so big and the bulging veins were such a turn-on for you that you had to suppress a whimper. Did you ever find veiny hands that sexy?

Loki raised an eyebrow. ”Will we need that?” he asked, astonished.

“Depends on how wet you can get me,” you answered with your arms crossed and a smirk curved his lips because of your sassy undertone.

“No one complained so far,” he responded, still smirking and looking deep into your eyes. Gosh, this guy could undress you with just his gaze.

“If you say so,” you said and walked slowly over to the coffee table. You poured some of the whisky into the tumblers and passed one to Loki who already walked over to you.

“Cheers, handsome,” and you raised your glass. You definitely needed a whisky now to calm your nerves down. Loki raised his glass as well and took a sip, never breaking eye contact with you. This gaze…

“We should talk about the conditions now, the rules we have. Do you agree?”

You didn't want to beat around the bush and clarify this issue quickly.

Loki took a seat on the sofa, one arm placed on the backrest and crossed one leg over the other. “Okay, you start,” he offered you.

You took a deep breath. You were trembling inwardly and before you gave him your clear rules and limits you took a further sip of your drink. The whisky slowly warmed your stomach.

“Okay, here we go. I won't do any perverse shit or hard-core sex. No slaps or spanking, no degrading, no anal sex. I won't suck your dick or swallow your sperm. You can go rough on me but you won't get brutal. No extensive foreplay and you will use a condom. No kissing! You won't kiss me on my mouth, you won't kiss any part of my face. Don't you dare mark me in any way! I'm not your property and my body stays markless. You're not my only client and my body is my asset. If you do anything during the act I don't like, I'll let you know and you'll stop doing it. A no is a no. In case you violate my rules, I'll end our fuck session immediately.” You took a deep breath again, awaiting his reaction to your statement. Your heart raced as if you had run a marathon.

“Any questions?”

Loki stared silently at you, processing every single word you had said. You had been very clear and he understood and accepted your rules and boundaries. He still had some questions because maybe one or two of his rules would collide with one of yours. He also wondered what you were thinking he wanted to do to you. He hadn't even thought about most of the things you said. Yes, he preferred being in control and he was dominant, which didn't mean he disliked the gentle way of sex. But maybe you had different experiences.

“What about some…kinky stuff?” He asked you cautiously.

“Depends on the kink, I'd say. But I have a limited scope for negotiation,” you answered firmly, looking into his eyes. You were still standing at the coffee table and he, still sitting on the sofa, continued staring at you.

“What about a blindfold?” He wanted to know.

"Negotiable."

“Soft bondage?” He took a sip of his whisky.

“What do you want to tie up?” You questioned, irritated.

“Your wrists,” he said, his voice deep and warm.

“No and non-negotiable,” you answered calmly but strictly.

“I don't want you to touch me or my naked skin during the act. That's why I need your wrists tied up. And I want to blindfold you because I don't want you to look at me while we fornicate. Furthermore, I'm always in control and as I already told you, I'm not a tender lover which also means I don't do aftercare,” Loki responded firmly, his voice dark and raspy. “But I'll treat you carefully and with respect,” he said more softly now. “You can rely on it.” His voice was so dark and soft, it sent shivers down your spine.

“Why am I not allowed to touch you?” you were curious about that. Men liked to get touched.

“Why am I not allowed to kiss you?”

“I asked first.”

“I find it unpleasant. I don't really enjoy getting touched especially when it comes to my naked skin, my face or my hair. To get touched there, particularly by a woman I'm not in a relationship with, is too intimate and I don't want that."

That was only halfway true. He knew he could never stand your touch, he would completely lose it, when you would caress his body. And also he would probably kiss the heck out of you, you were too hard to resist. He wanted nothing more than to feel your soft lips on his. But you had forbidden him to kiss you and he had to accept it.

“For me, to kiss a man on his mouth or to get my mouth kissed by him means to be in love with each other. We're not in love with each other, Luke. We're far away from that.”

You sounded harsher than you wanted but you knew if you'd kiss him or he'd kiss you, there would be no way back. And you should better not forget you still had a professional relationship with him.

“That's true, I've nothing to add,” he responded affirmatively.

“Fine, guess that answers that.”

You emptied your whisky and it would be the first and last whisky for tonight. You had to keep your senses clear. You took off your blazer and kicked off your high heels. It was such a relief but you suppress a redemptive sigh. You needed to feel a bit more comfortable before you could go on. Loki's gaze wandered down your body and he couldn't even imagine how much your feet must hurt from these ‘little beasts’. He liked that name you had for your high heels. He appreciated that you wore them for him and accepted the pain they caused. He loved you wearing them, they looked extremely sexy but he didn't want you to suffer for him. He could give you a proper foot massage, that would be a bare minimum he could do for you. Did it count for you as foreplay? If so, he better shouldn't do it.

“Okay, Luke, you can blindfold me if it makes you feel more comfortable but my wrist and hands remain free.”

It was okay for you to not see him but you needed your hands to be untied in case you had to end a possible unacceptable situation or to reach for your phone. You won't discuss it.

“I offer you to put my hands above or behind my head and to keep them there. I promise you I won't touch you,” you told him.

You'd love to run your fingers through his hair, caressing his scalp and tugging at his dark locks. They looked so soft.

“I don't know you well enough to trust you with that. And I cannot allow you to touch me.” Loki placed the whisky tumbler on the coffee table and leaned back again. He looked sceptically at you.

You chuckled in disbelief and placed your hands on your hips. “But I have to trust you with that blindfold, huh? I don't know you well enough either. I cannot even see what you're doing once you're settled between my legs and… fucking me, or what you're doing before that.”

A frustrated laugh escaped your throat. “So we have to find a compromise, Mr. Luke Larsson.” You made a pause. “I allow you to blindfold me and you allow me to keep my hands above my head without tying my wrists… Do we have a deal?” you wanted to know, waiting for his answer.

Loki considered your offer and he couldn't find an argument against it because you were right. He couldn't demand everything from you when he wasn't willing to give something in return. Trust has never been his biggest strength but in your case, it seemed possible for him to trust you with that matter. And damn it, he wanted you so much. He was on edge since you tried to entice him at the gallery so he nodded slowly.

“We have a deal, Miss Sugar Black,” and a mischievous smile curved his lips.

You turned around and went towards the vanity table and sat down on the chair. You took your cigarettes and a lighter out of your bag and onto the table, and you prepared your phone and held it in your hand.

“There are two more things, Luke. I'll keep my phone close to me and our tryst ends at midnight sharp. Got it?”

Slowly like a panther on the way to hunt his prey he stood up from the sofa, took his jacket off and walked over to the bed where you just put your phone on the bedside table.

Loki was already behind you when you stood straight again, placing his hands on your shoulders.

“Fine with me,” he murmured. His deep voice made you shiver.

“Is this okay for you?”, he wanted to know while his fingers circled gently on your shoulders.

You tilted your head a bit and you felt his nose nudging your earlobe. He was so gentle. “Yes, it's okay for me, Luke.”

“You always smell so good, Sugar,” and he sniffed your neck. It was tickling you and you tried not to giggle.

“Want me to run a bath for you, for relaxation…I could join you,” you offered him sweetly.

“No, I'm used to bathing alone… do you really want to get laid by me, Sugar?” He whispered into your ear.

“Yeah, I want it, Luke, I want you.” It was the truth and you wouldn't back down. You wanted him more than you thought. He nibbled at your earlobe and down your throat, gently as a feather. You could barely hold back a whimper and you bit on your lower lip.

“I have wanted it since I got to know you, sweet thing. Perhaps I knew it all along, just wouldn't admit it to myself. Does it scare you?” His hands wandered down your arms and his mouth lingered on the skin of your neck, his breath fanning along your throat. Your body was immediately covered in goosebumps. The firm muscles of his torso were tightly pressed against your back, his hard-on pressed against your ass.

“No, other things scare me more and they have nothing to do with you.” Your voice wasn't more than a whisper.

“I want to show you pleasure, sweet thing, pleasure you've never felt before,” His voice was pure velvet, his breathing calmly and evenly.

“You don't know that, you don't know me, Luke” you answered silently.

“I can sense it, Sugar. The way your body responded to mine when we danced, how it responds to mine now and the way you look at me, gives it away. But I won't force you, I only take what you're willing to give me.”

How could you deny him? You have never met anyone like him. Dark, arrogant, magnetic, seductive, hot as hell but also caring, gentle and interested without being intrusive. He scared you sometimes, with his piercing stare right into your soul, his whole behaviour and his subtle possessiveness, the way he had held you in his arms and grabbed your wrist as if you were his. You should be completely terrified by him but you weren't. You maybe should stay away from him but you couldn't. You were aroused in a way you had never been before and you wished for nothing more than spending more time, more dates with him. But he might not book you again after tonight after he finally had you in the sheets and his carnal desires were satisfied. You wanted to give yourself to him even if you knew you might not satisfy him or be able to feel the pleasure he promised you.

Loki was so hard already and he wished he had more time with you. Your soft body closely pressed against his, felt so perfect and he wanted to enjoy every minute with you to the fullest but time was ticking. He didn't know how long he would last tonight. He hadn't been with a woman for too long and you were so cute and seductive. He saw you unbuttoning your blouse and he helped you to take it off. Your trousers followed and then you were just in your white lace underwear. You slowly turned around to face him. You curled one arm around his neck, and with your other hand, you began to unbutton his shirt, the silk scarf still around his neck. He would use it later for another purpose. At your sight in that white lace, he could hardly restrain himself. You looked so innocent and enticing at the same time. When you had unbuttoned his shirt completely you tugged it out of his slacks and unbuckled his belt. His hands lingered on your hips when you cupped his still-clothed but rock-hard manhood and felt him throbbing in your hand.

“How do you want me?” you asked him so gently that he couldn't believe you just did a job here and how easy you made it for him to forget about that. He slipped one of the straps of your bra off your shoulder, pushed it down your arm and caressed your skin tenderly. He felt you shivering. He hoped you weren't scared.

“I want you on the bed, on your back. ”

“I want to leave my bra on,” you whispered.

“No problem, sweet thing and I leave my shirt on,” he answered, holding your gaze and giving you a little smile.

Loki laid you gently down on the bed. He looked so unbelievably sexy with his open shirt. His chiselled chest with the right amount of soft, curly chest hair, his defined abs and his trimmed happy trail beneath his belly button made your mouth watering and you wanted to lick and bite every inch of his perfect torso. His whole body was pure sin but you weren't allowed to touch his naked torso.

You were relieved that you could leave your bra on. It lets you feel less vulnerable and more safe. You couldn't really explain it but you felt better with your bra on. Maybe it was the same for him with his shirt. When you lay down on the bed, he followed you promptly. You were on your back as he asked you to do. He laid on his side right next to you, propped up on one elbow and cupping your breast, his thumb tenderly teasing your nipples through the lace, one after the other. They hardened instantly under his touch and it let your clit throb with desire and your arousal drenched your thong. He stripped his scarf from his neck and you knew what would follow.

“Are you ready, Sugar?” You nodded yes. “I need your words, sweet thing,” he demanded.

“Yes,” it was more of a squeak, you could barely speak because of desire and nervousness. But you were sure he'd stay true to his words and would not harm you. He covered your eyes with his scarf and tied the ends behind your head above your hair bun together, avoiding too much pressure on your eyes. You were afraid and aroused at the same time. Was that even possible?

“Hands above your head… don't move them and don't remove the blindfold from your eyes.” he stated.

“I won't, I promise,” you answered silently.

You felt him leaving the bed to get rid of his shoes, socks, his trousers and underwear. His shirt stayed on, he just rolled up the sleeves. He came back to you and laid down again. You expected him to quickly fuck you but he took his time with you. You felt his engorged cock pressed against your thigh. He must be aching for relief, he must've been on edge the whole evening …just because of you. You should give him his relief soon, you didn't want to torture him further. You spread your legs for him so he could settle between them. But he made no effort to penetrate you immediately.

He didn't kiss any part of your body. You just felt his nose and his mouth brushing softly over your skin. He started at your throat down to your cleavage, dipping down between the swell of your breasts, further down to your belly button and your hips, his hands slowly sliding down your sides. In one swift move he pulled your thong down and you lifted your legs so he could get it off of you completely. He grazed his lips over your pubic mound and you voluntarily spread your legs for him again and you felt his soft mouth on your pussy lips. Goosebumps, all over your body were goosebumps. Your nipples were hardened further and you suppress a moan. He gave your clit a few gentle licks before he made his way upwards again over your tummy to your throat and your ear.

Everything felt so much more intense because you were robbed of one of your senses and his wonderful scent added to your arousal. You didn't expect such feelings, you didn't expect such tender treatment. Luke could do anything to you but he was patient and careful. You weren't used to it and it irritated you, not in a bad way though but you were just used to quickies or a man just having it his way. Why must he be so tender and caring, you could barely handle it and you should better not get used to it because he wasn't yours and you would likely never see him again after tonight. You were glad you couldn't look at him. If you could look into his beautiful eyes it would be your undoing and you couldn't allow this to happen.

“Are you sure you want this? Do I still have your consent?” He whispered into your ear.

“Yes, go on.” You said it harsher than you intended to.

He got up on his knees and shifted to the side. You immediately missed his warmth and his body close to yours. You heard him unfoil a condom and shortly after, he caged you beneath him and you felt the tip of his cock nudging at your entrance. Why were you so wet? Have you ever been so wet? You never became that wet so quickly. And there hadn't been much foreplay. You didn't even need the lube. What was wrong with you?

“May I?”

“Yes, just go on,” you said impatiently. You were irritated because of your bodily reaction you didn't expect in this situation.

“Don't move your hands, Sugar! Don't even think about touching me!” he murmured darkly.

“And you don't even think about kissing me!” You responded.

“Do I have your consent?” He questioned again.

“Why are you asking again? You talk too much!” you whispered.

“Just to be sure,” he growled.

“Keep going before I change my mind,” you growled quietly back.

When he carefully penetrated you, slowly and inch by inch, a deep moan escaped your mouth you didn't know you were capable of. You had never felt that full and it felt good. Unfortunately, it felt good and when he began to move in and out of you, it felt even better. No, no, no you shouldn't enjoy it, you shouldn't allow yourself to like it that he made you feel good. And anyway he wouldn't last very long, would he? Just two or three minutes more and he would be done. That's the way it always has been in former relationships. You were used to being left high and dry. You weren't even in a relationship with Luke, he was just your client so how dare he give you that good feeling? And he made it worse with his nose in the crook of your neck, his toneless moans and his chest rubbing over your breasts, his thumb teasing your nipples. You should distract yourself, should be possible for two or three minutes.

Did you do your laundry? Was there enough milk in the fridge for your coffee in the morning? Did you already buy new shampoo and body lotion? Another moan of pleasure escaped your throat when you felt his cock moving deep inside of you, hitting a spot you didn't know existed. How dare he distract you from your distraction? And why did his soft skin feel so damn good on yours? And when did you wrap your legs around his waist?

You had to end it immediately, you couldn't stand this good feeling anymore. There was only one way to do it. You were an expert in it. An ability honed over the years. The reasons had been different ones but you knew how to do it. You faked it. You let your walls willingly clench around his sensitive cock. You knew he was close, it seemed it had been a while since he fucked with someone. So it took him just two more strokes and a faked moan of pleasure of yours and he came hard. If you know how to clench your cunt around the dick and if you moan just right, they go crazy. That's how it worked, that's what always led to success. You gave him a short moment before you pushed him off you, pulling the blindfold hurriedly off of your eyes, throwing it aside and standing up from the bed.

You grabbed your kimono from the back of the chair and covered your body with it by taking it on and tying its belt. Your job was done and he had to go now. No aftercare, no small talk, as agreed. Your cunt was still throbbing, unsatisfied lust running through your body. But this feeling was nothing new to you. The feeling of having fooled him was worse than the feeling of being unsatisfied. You grabbed your cigarette pack and lighter from the vanity table and lit up a cigarette. You had given up smoking several years ago but now you were having the urgent need to take a drag and inhale the unhealthy stuff to calm the bad feeling down with it.

Loki didn't know how much he was in need of carnal satisfaction. Of course, he jerked off regularly under the shower or on his bed but it wasn't as satisfying as burying himself into the warmth of a wonderful woman, a woman like you. Your skin was so soft and your scent was so beguiling. A mixture of roses in the summer rain and honey. He wasn't allowed to kiss your lips or your pretty face so he just let his lips travel down over your gorgeous, tempting body and when he reached your most intimate part and you opened your thighs for him further, he gave your clit just a few gentle licks. You had already been so wet without him giving you a proper, deserved preparation before claiming you completely. You tasted so good and deliciously sweet, he'd love to have more of it, more of you but you didn't want extensive foreplay which he accepted.

He wasn't sure but you seemed to enjoy your intimate encounter, he could tell because of how your body reacted to him but something felt odd. It seems you forbid yourself sexual pleasure. He wasn't used to it because normally when he pleasured a woman they wanted him to give them endless pleasure and the sweetest fulfilment. But maybe he shouldn't forget that you were doing a ‘job’ here. You surely thought this here was just about him, getting satisfied in every way but it wasn't how he saw it. He wanted you to feel good too. At least he hoped you felt safe with him and that you wouldn't hate him afterwards.

When you unconsciously wrapped your beautiful legs around his waist and pulled him closer to you, allowing him to get deeper, it was nearly his undoing. He had dreamt of it since he had seen you for the first time and to feel you doing it sent him nearly over the edge. It didn't take him long and he came hard when he felt you suddenly clenching around him but he could've sworn your climax wasn't that close. Shortly after he came you pushed him away and he felt kind of irritated but he didn't mind, he told you he doesn't do aftercare. Just the act, nothing more. But to his own surprise, it would've felt nice to stay a bit longer in that intimate position.

“Are you okay?" He asked you thoughtfully, still lying on the bed and catching his breath.

“Yeah, of course,” you tried to sound lighthearted but Loki doubted it.

He got out of bed, picked up his underwear from the floor and headed for the bathroom to clean himself. You were still smoking your cigarette, fidgeting nervously with it.

“My performance wasn't sublime and a little bit disappointing for you, wasn't it?” He said when he returned from the bathroom. He and he asked you that question as if you had booked him for sex. It wasn't his obligation to satisfy you. It was your job and your obligation to satisfy him.

“What?” You looked astonished.

“Your orgasm.”

“What do you mean?” You questioned him, irritated.

“Your orgasm. ..you faked it,” he said.

“I didn't," you said unbelievingly and appalled. He had noticed it? How? “You came good and hard, right?” You answered a bit annoyed. You had to keep your walls up. You had to keep your feelings out.

“That's not the point, Sugar.”

“That is exactly the point, handsome. I did my job and apparently I did it well.”

You glanced at him. Could he please get completely dressed again? This guy just dressed in an unbuttoned shirt with rolled-up sleeves and black briefs wasn't just distracting you, it also made you want to snuggle up to him.

“Did you enjoy it at least a little bit? I don't want you to feel used,” he asked concernedly.

You gave him no answer. You enjoyed it much more than you were ready to admit.

Frowning and smirking unbelievingly, Loki walked past you to sit down on the end of the bed, resting his forearms on his thighs and staring at your back. He hated cuddling and cuddling after sex even more but he wanted to hug you and keep you in his arms. Why didn't you tell him if you had enjoyed it or not?

“Who did this to you? Who hurt you so much?”

“Why would you want to know that?”

“Maybe because I care about you.”

“Mind your own business, Luke. We just had sex. This here has nothing to do with love or care or anything like that. I just expanded my service for you. I neither need love nor am I looking for it. I don't need a savior. I need money and I work for it, that's all,” you dragged on your cigarette, turned around and looked provocatively at him, blowing the smoke out. He looked devastatingly sexy with his rumpled, open shirt and tousled black curls. You just wanted to hug and kiss him. But both would violate your rules.

“Everyone has their secrets, Luke. You have yours and I have mine and there's nothing to complain about. We owe each other nothing. This is a business relationship and we both got what we wanted. You pay for me and I give you my time and my body. I'm sure you're done with me now. Thank you for booking me,” you said bitterly.

“What makes you think I don't want to see you again? Do you think so badly of me? Did I treat you that disrespectfully?” He asked you silently, your words stinging in his chest.

“No, no you didn't. It's not you, it's me. I'm an escort lady who is also a call girl now. I cannot fall any deeper. So why should you care about me? Maybe you'd like to try someone else now because I couldn't fulfil your expectations tonight. Some other lovely escort ladies are working for REA…” You suppressed the upcoming tears and swallowed hard on the lump in your throat.

There was so much pain and sadness in your voice, that it made Loki's heart clench painfully in his chest.

“That's not how I see it, Sugar. And I can assure you I don't want to meet any other escort lady… just you. You shouldn't speak so badly about yourself because… it's not the truth. Whatever happened to you and caused this dreadful situation… You're a fallen angel, someone has broken your wings and if I ever find this cruel prick who hurt you so much, I'll kill him.” Loki stated, his voice full of compassion.

“Don't make any promises you'll never keep, Luke. ” You struggled to make your voice work. “It's not midnight yet but I want you to go now...please,” you asked of him.

“Can I really leave you alone? I could…,”

“I'm good,” you interrupted him quickly, “don't worry. Walker will drive me home so no need for you to worry about me.”

“What exactly is Walker for you? Is he your bodyguard? He protects you, right?” Loki questioned.

He began to dress himself while questioning. It was like a reverse strip. How could someone be so sexy? How was it even possible to get dressed in a sexy manner?

“He is my chauffeur, my chaperone, my life assurance in case someone becomes a menace,” you told him calmly.

“I'm genuinely glad to hear that.”

“Yes, I feel much better knowing he's there for me.” You answered genuinely.

“I feel much better with that, too,” Loki said and put his jacket on. He headed to the suite door and turned around to look at you.

“Can I ask you one last question?” You shrugged and nodded.

“Do you believe in love, Sugar?” You hesitated with the answer.

“Do you, Luke?”

“I already told you, no, I don't.”

“And I don't either. I don't believe in love anymore. Someone has destroyed it for me. Love is overrated…and sex too.” You tried to smile and look self-confident.

“Is that so Sugar?” He asked you sadly.

You smiled softly at him and shrugged a shoulder, tears brimming in your eyes. You glanced at him, searching for the right words but unfortunately, you couldn't find them.

Loki made an effort to open the door and you swallowed thickly before you found your voice again.

“Luke…You have a completely wrong image of yourself. You might be dominant but…You are a tender lover. Thank you for being so…careful. And I'm sure there's someone out there to love you. But it's not me.” He could barely hear you because you ou spoke so quietly.

Loki smiled unbelievingly at you and opened the door.

“Good night, Sugar. Take care.” He said calmly.

“Good night, Luke,” you answered silently, tears brimming painfully in your eyes and with a soft thud he closed the door and was gone.

You allowed two tears to escape your eyes, wiped them angrily away, and opened your tight hair bun. You got a headache from it. You would take a quick shower, it wouldn't take you longer than fifteen minutes to get ready and then, Walker would drive you home. You weren't sure if you would find sleep tonight. There were too many thoughts in your mind. You felt just exhausted now. You took off your kimono and the bra, dropped them on the floor, and headed for the bathroom. After the hurried shower, you got dressed into the fresh clothes that were stored in your bag and put every piece of your worn clothes, the high heels, and your other belongings into the bag. There was also a package of biscuits in it but you would look for it on your way down to the limousine. It was time to go now and you left the hotel suite.

While walking through the streets of Manhattan in the middle of the night, Loki couldn't stop thinking about you. He always refused to gain too much feelings for a girl but with you, it was something completely different. He wasn't overly proud of what he did tonight. He lusted for you, wanted you but now he felt bad. Not for himself, but for you. Was it right to take your offer? He had used you, he took advantage of your situation you were in. That's how it felt for him now. He had your consent and he knew you wanted it too. He was a skilled lover, always striving to satisfy his sexual partner but he wasn't even able to do that for you. He wished you would've enjoyed it but maybe by taking your offer, he had just added more to your desperation and the difficult situation you were stuck in.

You had told him you would only escort him and then, you reversed your decision. Why? Because you lusted for him or liked him as a person? Surely not. He needed to find out why you needed more money because to sleep with a client meant to get more money than just escorting them. After sleeping with you he felt more worried about you. Maybe this was intrusive but he wanted to help you. His inner turmoil got the better of him and something about you touched his heart. On his way to hail a taxi on his way home, he recognised that he was missing his scarf.

‘Damn,’ he scolded himself. Turning on his heels, he walked hurriedly back to the hotel. When Loki left the lift, he hurried down the hallway with long steps back to the suite. Maybe you were still there and you could open him so he could get his scarf back. A woman walked past him when he was on his way back to the suite, casually dressed in jeans, an oversized black blazer and trainers, busily looking for something in a bag, her head deeply stuck in it, her hair covering her face. She paid no attention to him when he greeted her and he kept walking. He knocked at the door and waited for a minute or two but no one answered or opened the door. You must've been gone already. If you say yes to a further date with him he could ask you if you took his scarf with you and you surely would give it back to him. Or he would ask tomorrow at the reception desk if the housekeeping staff found his scarf.

When you left the entrance hall of the hotel, Walker was already awaiting you. He had just driven the limousine to the entrance of the hotel and opened the car's door for you. You tossed your bag on the backseat and got in the car. Walker rounded the limousine, got into the car himself, started the engine and you fastened your seat belt. You hadn't found the biscuits in the depths of your bag and now you didn't feel like looking for it anymore. You didn't even feel like listening to music anymore so you took your earplugs out and put them into the pocket of your blazer. You leaned your forehead against the glass of the side window and stared at the glittering lights of Manhattan by night. Walker observed you through the rear-view mirror.

“Are you all right, y/n?” he asked concernedly.

You turned your head towards his gaze in the mirror and nodded.

“Yes, I'm ok, Walker, thank you,” and you leaned your head against the glass again.

“Mr.Larsson…, was he good to you?”

“Yeah, … yeah he was,” you answered silently, and you kept staring at the passing city lights.

“Good. He seems to me to be a man with decency and manners.”

“He's wonderful, Walker. He was the best,” and you fought against the tears in your eyes. You couldn't allow yourself to like him too much. ‘Do not fall in love with a client. Do not gain feelings for someone who would never be yours.’ You didn't even know if you would ever see Luke again.

Maybe it was too late already, maybe you had already gained feelings for him. The worst case might have already happened. You might not be able to draw a line between sex and love. Well, you guessed that's what you'd call an occupational hazard.

You should stay away from him but you wished to see him again. Even though you might not be able to keep pretending everything between you two is just professional business.

🌹🥂🌃🌹🥃🌃🌹🥂❤️🌃🌹🥃🌃🌹🥂🌃

Tag list:

@lokisprettygirl @faesimps @anukulee @gruftiela @fandxmslxt69 @buttercupcookies-blog @chantsdemarins @fictive-sl0th @justjoanne242 @km-ffluv @stupidthoughtsinwriting @lovingchoices14 @wheredafandomat @lokixryss @huntress-artemiss @smolvenger

[stardial]

EVERYTHING IS GOING SO GOOD FOR DAWN!!!!! MY TRAIN TICKET WAS BOOKABLE ENTIRELY THRU LOYALTY POINTS OR W/E THEYRE CALLED

[mousegirlheart]

bottom surgery should be free and bookable within 6 months actually

[sherdnerd]

My university just added Sensory friendly study spaces and holy fucking shit this is the best thing ever, I stimmed harder than I've ever stimmed in my life when I got in. Its so quiet! Its a low light environment! I can tint those lights! Its a private room - no masking! And its onky bookable for 2 hours at a time... meaning incredible availability! I'd much rather only have this for a little while than have to worry about never getting it. This is the best thing the university has ever added and honestly I should be working on my dissertation now I'm here but I honestly just want to be autistic for a while. I have a place I can do that in! This is awesome!

[eatmangoesnekkid]

I am deeply clear that I'm an Avatar of Love. Love has been the greatest most exciting and difficult adventure of my life. It is my dharma. It is my mission. It is what I live for. It is what I am willing to die for. Love is just who I am effortlessly. It is how I am wired in my vagus nerve from pelvis to crown. It is part of every muscle fiber and nerve ending. Love is my speech and backbone. It is my breath, posture, and how I move through this big global world. Love is in my food prep and in the quality of my meals and nourishment. It is why I am incredibly disciplined and devoted in my practices and rarely distracted. Love is in my rhythmic and off-beat interpretative dances. Love has been my greatest advocate and ally into bypassing every attempted systematic limitation deliberately put into place by our world. It is love that is the sacred trampoline that bounces us towards our deepest dreams and most unusual desires. That's why I mentor women on love and loving, with attuning to and turning on the velocity, heat, and absolute truth of love inside themselves (and their cells). Because love is the highest and brightest game that we could ever begin to play. Every part of our soul knows that nothing else matters until we begin to live inside of love, to embody love and its natural alchemy and radiance. Any small or large step we take towards becoming better at love and loving transforms us (and this world) for the brightest.

India Ame’ye, Author, The Game of Love

The Melody of Love On Amazon (Print and Kindle) April 2023  -Audio/Audible (My Voice + Hidden Sensorial Surprises) June 2023

One-on-One Mentorship Journeys Officially Will Be Bookable Via My Website in May 2023 (I have been quietly mentoring women on and offline for over 10 years...now I make more official).

[icallhimjoey]

GIRL, drop the theories I am curious 👀

ok 1) cash money baby, 2) he's a great actor not in SAG i dont think, so, bookable, and 3) and this may be a silly one, but remember when joe was auditioning and negotiating for AQP and he suddenly started mentioning Michael and the film Pig a lot? and then just before Gladiator 2 got announced we learnt from Paul Mescal that he met Joe? Well now, Joe's mentioned The Bear twice recently and Ebon Moss-Bachrach is also rumoured to have been cast in F4.... so this might be a reach, but also, this might be Joe's little tell about what's coming up for him

[pavardscherie]

— if we ever meet again ;; part two

⤷ summary: you were a player on the female team of bayern münchen but transferred for a better chance. your relationship with benjamin ended because he couldn't handle the distance from munich to dortmund. once, you meet again, and you have a new partner, things get complicated again. ⤷ warnings: mature themes, angst, fluff, hurt & comfort, break-ups, a hint at depression, heartbreak, confused reader, cheating ⤷ izzy talks: the second part is finally here?? i mean, i took so long and I'm so freaking sorry or that but i just had those lovely writer blocks. like too many times :(

you knew you shouldn’t be here. but how was it possible to deny an injured lucas hernandez a wish?

tickets for a very much vip seat in the front of the stands, exactly what you imagined he would torture you with. if it wouldn’t be enough to see benjamin play today, you would have to witness the mood changes and how attractive he looked especially in the bright crimson-red for at least ninety minutes.

but it also happened to be the perfect timing to take out the dusty red jacket from the far right corner of your wardrobe. the emblem of bayern munich sewed on the front, left side and the initials of your name underneath it. the times were beautiful, welcomed by the entire team and loved by many. yet, your journey led you into the arms of the enemy club.

“there she is, our golden girl.” lucas’ french accent mixed with the german words caused a spark of amusement inside of you. it was always rather hilarious to listen to him, ranting about a match and mixing french with german. it almost reminded you of benjamin.

hands deeply in the pockets of the thick jacket, the cold weather made it difficult to stand still on the spot. you turned, opening the arms quickly to greet an injured lucas and the two men, which accompanied him. manuel neuer, hidden underneath a baseball cap and still in the healing process of broken bones, and behind him, strolled a carefree defender. benjamin pavard.

“what the hell?” you pointed at the number five of the bayern munich team, shocked about seeing him in the stands. “why are you here?”

“what a nice way to greet a friend.” benjamin retorted, rolling the eyes. a sarcastic smile tugged on the corners of his mouth, casually overplaying the surprise he felt. lucas didn’t mention your appearance with one word.

“no, i didn’t mean it like that. it’s like, well, shouldn’t you be on the field? like you know, playing with the team because you’re on the team?” you rambled on and on, gesturing wildly through the cold air with one hand.

the entire scene broke out in a wave of amusement. at least for lucas and manuel, who watched the awkwardness unfold.

“can’t.” ben shrugged the shoulders nonchalantly, tilting the head to the side to watch the warm up of the two teams. psg, the return match.

eyebrows raised, confusion twisted in your facial expression. there were multiple reasons why he could not be on the pitch tonight but benjamin didn’t give a reason to his statement. “he’s suspended. two yellow cards.” lucas explained with a chuckle, patting the shoulder of his best friend.

“a second bookable offense?” your brows furrowed, recalling the past matches of bayern munich you have seen. yet, you didn’t recall one where benjamin was sent off the pitch. “against who?”

“psg.” benjamin’s gaze drifted, landing on the gentle features of your face, twisted in a deep confusion. “made a very stupid pass and risked the leveler. had to stop the ball or messi, kind of ended with me completely slide-tackling him down and receiving the second card.”

“tackling lionel messi is something you can’t do every single day. and not many have the courage to even go against him like that. so, good job, benji.” showing him a thumbs up for the action, you smiled at him. but the way, his name sounded like a beautiful melody the moment you spoke it, made his heart skip a beat. it slipped past your lips nonchalantly, but had such an effect on him.

gulping down the mixture of spit and air in his tightened throat, benjamin tilted the head away from your angelic features. the smallest smile could be his downfall, and the painful memories would gnaw on his heart again. exactly what he didn’t need today. the upcoming game and it’s importance was already nerve wrecking enough for the suspended defender.

the shift in his behavior didn’t go unnoticed. but lucas promised himself to make it work between the two of you for a second time. stepping to the side, he sat down in one of the more comfortable seats, reserved for the vip guests while manuel settled down in the one on your left. leaving, much to benjamin’s demise, the two middle ones open for you and him.

while the referee, his assistants and the captain of each team met in the middle of the pitch, benjamin sat down and scooted closer to lucas’ side. unfortunately for him, you witnessed how he wiggled further away from you while sitting down. the emptiness in your stomach returned, and this time, it added a heavy feeling. you wanted to run away, forget about how he casually kept the conversation with you short, and would even rather sit in hernandez lap than close to you.

what you didn’t know was, that ben already reminisced. the scent of cherry blossom and a faint vanilla infiltrated his nostrils, your favorite perfume lingered in the air and it drove him crazy. he did not remember how often he bought a new bottle of it, just to exchange the empty one and surprise you with the thoughtful gesture.

both teams proved their value and excellence while the first half went on. manuel muttered multiple curse words when the ball flew past the goal, and another attempt of increasing the score of the first match failed. on your right side, lucas and benjamin engaged in a conversation mixed with german and french words. it was calm in the stands except the hardcore fans of bayern munich. they never stopped chanting their lyrics, clapping and playing the drum.

you were completely focused on the match, watching the players of bayern munich take control over the game. comfortably leaned back in the chair, legs crossed over one another, you pulled your hands out of the warm pockets of your jacket and placed them on the armrests.

manicured nails didn’t touch the soft material of the chair, instead your soft fingertips stroke over the veiny backhand of the one person sitting on your right. just a couple of seconds ago, benjamin retreated to a normal seating position and draped his arms over the rest. as soon as he felt the lingering touch of soft fingertips, he pulled his arm away.

the small touch, the seconds of being able to be close to benjamin again, created shivers up your arms. a feeling, you should not have anymore after finding another partner and slowly moving on from the past. exactly where the defender should belong.

benjamin sat straight in his seat. any thoughts about the game vanished and his mind went completely blank. he wanted to feel your warmth again after the long hug a couple of weeks ago. yet, he knew it was impossible after seeing the loving interactions between you and your new boyfriend for the rest of the night. the small glances in his direction were created by his imagination, at least it was what benjamin thought.

„aye manu, let’s get drinks for the group.“ lucas shouted past the pair of ex lovers towards the goalkeeper, waving his hand repeatedly. the breath you just inhaled, got stuck in your windpipe as your throat painfully tightened. the thought of being alone with benjamin in the middle of the arena made it extremely difficult to focus at all.

he clouded your mind, and easily erased any other thought. even the fact that your boyfriend was at work, and waited in dortmund for your return tomorrow. the two males disappeared faster than wanted at all, leaving you in an uncomfortable silence.

being around him was toxic for your relationship. the curve of his lips threatened the steady connection between you and your boyfriend. the way his scent infiltrated your nostrils and clouded your mind completely. the images of your boyfriend’s face vanished. a long gaze into his promising, hickory coloured eyes pulled you deeper under his spell again.

for a second time, you experienced the anxiety of being close to benjamin. small parts of him that twisted your mind until his name and his features were the last thought. there was no escape from falling madly, there never was for you after ben confessed, he never gave up the last spark of hope.

„you can avoid me but ignoring me is kind of harsh.“ you remarked about his behavior towards you while holding a conversation. without lucas‘ interference, you still would question why benjamin wasn’t present on the pitch. „looking at you makes me weak.“ he replied, keeping his gaze on the empty pitch after the referee ended the first half.

your stomach twisted around a feeling which was hard to define. discomfort about being his weakness, surprise about what you still did to him or even bashfulness about the sweet confession. it was indescribable and deep. „what do you mean?“ you needed an answer. a clear statement to identify what kind of feeling occupied your empty stomach.

„it doesn’t matter.“ benjamin shrugged his shoulder as if he attempted to brush off the topic of the conversation for a second time. he never gave a clear statement, or truly said the words that occupied his mind. the unbearable desire of kissing you deeply, losing himself once more to your soft touch, and giving up the control over his broken heart. you could mend the pieces, puzzle it back together but it would fall apart again, when you drove to your new home. the arms of your boyfriend.

grief dominated benjamin's broken self, the confidence he showed, only a cold mask to hide his emotions. you reached out for him, wanting to have the conversation badly and mend the pieces, he left destroyed. but when merely your fingertips grazed over the wrinkled fabric of his sweater, benjamin reacted way too quickly and scooted further towards lucas‘ empty seat. lips pulled into a frown, the distance made it difficult to believe that even the slightest spark was left. you should not feel defeated by a failed attempt after being the one that clearly moved on with someone new. yet, you could not get benjamin and his sweet attitude out of your mind. the minutes of the halftime break ticked away, the players already walked back onto the field, talking to each other and their coach about the tactics and techniques they planned.

"it was never meant to end like this, you know that, benjamin."

oh, how his name rolled so perfectly off the tip of your tongue. perfectly spoken, perfectly emphasized. so sweet, his heart wanted to jump out of his chest. fingertips dug into the soft, red leather of the seat, attempting to resist the desire to touch you, hug you, just feel you again in some way. the referee's whistle echoed through the allianz arena, announcing the second half of the important game against paris saint-germain. at the same time, manuel carefully walked through the row to reach his seat on your left, and handed you one of the cups filled with cola.

and while lucas returned, smiling widely at the two ex-lovers, benjamin muttered a french sentence and pushed his body up to leave the stands. a cup in each hand, lucas tilted the head to watch after his best friend, confusion twisted in his features. the uncomfortable feeling in your stomach reminded you of his words, the statement he made, and a confession about how much your attendance bothered him. fingers closed around the bridge of your nose, the pads massaged the skin slightly as you tried to make a decision. following benjamin could lead to another heated argument, another moment you wanted to prevent and ruin the last, little piece of friendship or admiration that was left like a thin line between the two of you.

on the other hand, you did feel responsible for the undeniable change in benjamin's mood over the past minutes. it was impossible to ignore the fact, that your surprising appearance caused shyness and nervousness to wash over him. not being his usual self, the cheerful lad with a mixture of languages while trying to express his opinion. the slight edge to his words because of his accent, and the cute smile plastered across his face because he never met a level of endless sadness; at least at the times before you left. "i think i should look after him." lucas interrupted the trail of your thoughts, trying to point a hand over his shoulder but immediately failing with the cups tightly in his grip. leaning down towards the seats to place them in the prepared holders on each side, you mirrored his action. "maybe, i should go." you suggested, ignoring the doubts of making things much more complicated than needed.

instead of protesting, hernandez nodded his head repeatedly. after all, it was all along his plan to bring back together what belonged to each other. distance was a strong reason for a break up, but it was also not enough to decline the happiness, he was able to witness over months. while leaving for dortmund was your journey, you’ve taken any inch of benjamin’s heart with you.

without you, he forgot what the word love meant. without you, the happiness stopped glistening in his beautiful chestnut eyes. without you, the curl of his mouth was merely real; forced to satisfy the people around him and avoid questions would be a better choice of description. lucas’ attempts of inviting benjamin to a night out, to a couple of drinks to drown his sorrows, were declined without overthinking. losing you, and in the end even to another man, removed the colors of benji’s world so easily.

pushing past the crowds that gathered on the stairs, you caught benjamin’s gaze on the top of the section. calloused palms firmly placed against the barricade, staring down at the pitch with a stern expression. except for the pushed together brows, not even a muscle twitched until his eyes landed on your moving figure. a simple glance at you, ended in a fluttery feeling in the pit of his stomach. butterflies spread, wanting to be felt deeply. turning away, benjamin never missed a match of his team, no matter if he was suspended or injured but this time, he did not carry enough bravery to stay and have a decent conversation with you.

it pained him immensely to have you by his side, and knowing the fact that you truly were not by his side anymore. the pain was deeply anchored inside of benjamin. anchored to his heart, demanding to be felt when he forced himself to at least glance at you. walking through the almost empty corridors, the whispering of the fans and the sound of his name being shouted by some drowned out as he marched towards to the catacombs. the locker room were the only place where he could find a minute to himself.

what he did not expect was how easily the guards let you through as well. once a bayern munich player, the securities always remembered the faces. the desire to find his old self again followed with each step like a dangerous shadow, a darkness that reminded him he was missing a piece to ever become whole again.

running his sweaty palms over his face, benjamin inhaled deeply to calm down the pulsating veins. the sweet smell of your perfume, the one he loved way too much, lingered still in his nostrils. five minutes away from you wasn't enough to forget the tempting offer to ravish you, love you, feel you for a second time. it grew with any given second, the tips of his fingers tickled as the desire rose to new highs. levels, he has never been at before.

maybe, he could compare it to the same mixture of feelings he went through, the first night he had you sprawled out on his king-sized bed. naked, legs spread and the wetness glistening in the dim light of the lamps. better than he imagined, and pushing him further into a love-filled haze as his fingertips danced over your heated skin. but right now, when benjamin was trying to forget how much he still adored, admired, and loved you, those thoughts bothered his mind more than usual. rough pads against his temples, he started to massage the tensed skin; a headache announcing itself through the slight, piercing pain.

alone in the corridors between the pitch and the locker room, the place benjamin visited too often during a game when the referee booked him for the fifth time or twice on the same day. he's been here, multiple times, but the ghost of you, the sweet glances glistening with undeniable innocence, has never haunted him before. when lucas informed him, that he was slowly breaking away from reality, benjamin did not believe the words, chuckling about such foolish conclusions. but he has been right about it as his thoughts were occupied by your gentle face.

„benjamin.“ you spoke ever-so-gently, the thick walls of the corridor carried your sweet words towards his ear. another time, you said his full name, the way he adored the sound of the syllables way too much. the desire, he could not deny anymore as his stomach twisted and turned with admiration.

while you stood there so beautifully, innocent written over your posture, benjamin wanted to curse you for putting another spell on him. for making it so difficult to fall out of love with you. for never being able to truly despise you for choosing your career over a relationship with him, because somewhere, in the furthest corner of his heart, he understood the decision.

„leave please.“ benjamin begged, turning his attention away from you and examining the white wall with the bayern emblem painted across the stones. one glance, one too long look at your pretty face, and he would falter immediately. he would go too far, make another mistake or even ravish you in the middle of the corridor. a spell, he couldn’t run away from since the day he met you.

„no, we have to talk.“ you insisted, declining him the choice of being left alone. for once, you weren’t sharing the same opinion. taking a step closer to his trembling and tensed figure, benjamin didn’t realize the invasion of his personal space as his back was turned towards you.

all he knew, was when he turned around, the breath he wanted to inhale, got stuck in his dry throat. you were so close again, so close he could smell the sweet perfume lingering on the smooth skin around your collarbones. a scent, he could easily get addicted to again.

and suddenly, he could not fight it anymore. body moving on its own, a large hand caressed over the side of your throat until it reached your neck. calloused palm pressed against the soft skin and baby hairs, fingertips carefully digging into the side as he closed his tight grip on you. benjamin was holding you in place, and carefully tilted your head further back. nose held high, hooded eyes staring straight into the alluring hazelnut swirls around his dilated pupils.

if you wouldn’t have known him better than anybody else, and could read through each stone-cold expression on his face, the glimpse of undeniable lust would have passed without notice. yet, it ignited a small flame in your stomach, a feeling, you almost forgot. dominance written in the way, his calloused digits handled the movement of your body so easily, so carefully and still so eagerly. „god, you’re too beautiful to resist.“ benjamin muttered ever so quietly, more to himself than complimenting you. but the inches between your faces decreased with any given second.

and suddenly, as time ticked away and the game continued, it seemed like everything moved in slow motion until the world stopped turning. the moment, benjamin‘s chewed up lips, overthinking his decision over a hundred times and his teeth always assaulting the sensitive skin, brushed over yours. softly, but ever so eagerly to close the last gap and take what has always been his. and so, he reacted for the first time in months without letting his head decline what the pounding heart wanted. ignoring the undeniable fact that you had someone waiting at home, a boyfriend who loved you dearly but could never give you what benjamin offered.

relief washed over you, the tensed muscles relaxed under the soft pressing of his lips, flush against yours. guilt should have gnawed at your heart, but it never made an appearance. the thickness in your throat or the upset stomach never became a prominent feeling. slender arms, which turned to featherlight weight, raised, fingertips tingling with the need to touch his warm skin, ensuring yourself that the scene happened in reality and wasn’t a lustful creation of your mind.

because it didn’t matter how tightly your boyfriends arms were wrapped around you at night, you missed the ones you slept in so peacefully, so safely without a doubt.

delicate pads traced along the sharp line of his jaw towards his earlobe before finding a comfortable spot to place your soft palm against the side of his neck. fingertips immediately playing with the thin hairs, the small curls which slowly started to grow back. manicured nails carefully scratched over the smooth, sensitive spot, remembering how much he desired it when you left those long, crimson red marks over his beautiful, unblemished porcelain skin.

"i've missed how strawberries tasted on your lips." words blown into the gentle kiss, compliments and confessions about the way, he still remembered perfectly which kind of chapstick you preferred. reminding you, that the crimson-red fruit was delicious but tasted better spread out over your soft lips. easily, he had enough access to your unmoving body, sneaking his arm around your waist. calloused palm pressed firmly against the curve of your back, giving him enough freedom to push your chest closer to his aching body. the slightest touch would be enough to coax the sounds of his dry throat. he missed the lingering burns of your slender fingers, the tingles across his chest when they trailed over his defined stomach and towards the v-lines which disappeared underneath the hem of his loose jogging pants.

he should have never been so addictive, so desirable for you and yet, you were the one cheating and forgetting a man, who dearly tried to love every flaw and inch. the destroyed image of a woman, who never settled for less, who just moved cities, who carried a broken heart.

and you never felt bad in his embrace. the only thing that bothered you was the fact, that his arms never felt like benjamin’s. the bayern munich fans cheered loudly, the screams of joy echoed through the catacombs and forced the two of you apart. heads turned to the side, listening to the proud melodies, sung with their red and white hearts.

a second goal for the bundesliga team, a second goal that kicked out a fearful enemy like paris saint-germain and allowed bayern munich to move a step further towards the finals. “winning this match, and feeling your undeniable soft lips again. couldn’t be a better ending to such a horrendous week.” benjamin chuckled, so light hearted, so warm. so different to the sounds he made during the first half of the match, when he couldn’t even glance at her.

[moonliched]

How is the deal between the base and Y/N? I mean, base lets them have everything they want in the facility if it's not dangerous or there's a limit of "You can't buy this series of video games because it's not your home"? Base is who buys the food or does it Y/N?

oh there's definitely a limit to stuff!

as a bookable research outpost in a remote location, Base wants people to want to work there. they've outfitted the facility with certain attractions, and Y/N gets access to them as a perk of working on board. e.g. a gym, a subscription to streaming and gaming services that all can use.

as everyone is an adult you can bring anything you want on board so long as it's not a) illegal or b) going against Base's guidelines of prohibited items (there's a rulebook.) so, Base wouldn't purchase an inappropriate series of video games on your behalf, but you can totally bring it on board using your own money. you can request recreational items using Base's wallet, but those will be considered and granted/denied at Base's leisure. and there isn't really a way for Base to stop you from going behind their backs and bringing illegal or prohibited materials on board - it's kind of an honour system, and the team leader accepts the responsibility of monitoring and reporting that kind of thing when they apply for the role. Y/N too, but they're lackadaisical about it at best😅

Base covers the grocery order, but there's a budget in place. The cost is factored into the fee the teams have to pay in exchange for being able to work there. Y/N gets to partake without a fee given the important nature of their work, and their permanent residency. Y/N is aware of how good they've got it, so they don't rock the boat with large or expensive food orders lol

[hologramcowboy]

I read somewhere in tumblr that D said in one of OTH podcast that Jensen can never impress her and I'm like wtf! did she actually said that ? and if it's true why Jensen is like this? is he truly a spineless simp for this talentless stretched face bimbo? I'm mean no offense but she is a trashy flopped forgotten actress with creepy plastic face who is only known for her stripping roles ,does he really lacke self esteem and respect? Maybe because he father used to beat him up he was traumatised and ended up in marriage where he is just a moving back account simp for her and her jobless brother , yikes this is a major turn off

Anyone can feel free to correct me if I'm wrong but I think Danneel just repeated what Jensen keeps repeating (soundbite they agreed upon for PR purposes) but also said her answer would be different. Meaning she doesn't agree with his impression. That being said, I only "skimmed" that sucktastic interview so I might be completeley off. Will listen to it fully when I get some time to focus on that, it's just not a priority.

People still don't understand that actors build and image and carefully pick narratives to position themselves in certain ways depending on their goals. Jensen is well aware neither him nor Danneel credibly manage to sell their connection and marriage so he overcompensates by saying things like that to make it seem as if he values her but if we look at his actions, especially the way her career disappeared and her entire identity shifted to just being "mrs ackles" we can see he doesn't truly love her. When someone truly loves you they don't allow you to give up your dreams or identity. Danneel has no personality of her own. Aside from this, every family post they make comes off fake and planned, there is no real chemistry just a business interest.

One important thing I'd like to add is this: If you are in a relationship where you constantly have to impress your partner then run, that's beyond toxic and Jensen is so toxic for even promoting that as an ideal. The fact that he keeps mentioning that just reinforces all the devaluing Danneel does with him. If his marriage is all about constantly jumping through hoops and buying her affection then sorry but that is an abusive relationship.

That being said, I think Jensen desperately wants to sell a kind of fairytale love he never experienced, except he has so many toxic beliefs about love he ends up making up lines and stories that just make them as a couple seem vapid, aggressive and narcissistic.

Let me reinforce this: the fastest way to end up a self destructive mess is to engage in a relationship with someone that keeps moving the goalposts and asking you to "impress" them. That is not love, let's be real. Please don't expose yourself to that kind of treatment.

Also, please remember that public statements made by actors are made to frame an image, there's a strategy behind that, it's not someone realistically sharing their feeling or real life dynamic. It's someone selling a product: themselves as a bookable actor.

Jensen wants leading man roles without doing any inner work, he just wants to signal certain qualities he doesn't have to get a certain image. Especially since Danneel comes from an extremely trashy background. He is trying to overcompensate with comments that will hopefully stick or so he thinks.

My advice to you is not to look at Jensen's "statements" but to truly look at his choices, his actions. Danneel is just a commodity to him and he does everything in his power to either be away from home or to be inebriated when he is home. That is extremely telling. He is not a fulfilled man and so he is overcompensating by making comments that he hopes will cover his discontent.