#brain just changes every second
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
The Problem With Making Lists...
...Is that you have to update them. Because time changes, and people with it. In my case, with my pred crush lists, my mood can shift a lot in a very small amount of time. Characters I had/have major crushes on can drop down, and new crushes can blossom at any time. Plus, what makes a good CRUSH won’t always make a good SCENE or STORY, and vice-versa. XD I’m saying all this because I’m in a bind with my list of Big Bad Wolf pred crushes. I’m considering updating it again, adding someone new to the ranks...but that inevitably means one of the wolves on the countdown will have to drop out entirely, and I don’t really feel like doing that. I guess I could just make it a Top 16, but...I dunno. Who does THAT weirdness, right? LOL I could also go all the way to 20, but I feel like at that point I’m really pushing it, for various reasons. Ah, well. We’ll see what I do. If anything. :P
#random post#kink-related#pred crushes#big bad wolves#big bad wolf#lists#countdowns#curse my mercurial mind#seriously#i'm like the floyd of kinks#brain just changes every second#bah
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
I have such a soft spot for split personality characters, like yes, show me the duality of man! Show me someone with the inability to understand grey so everything must be either black or white! Show me a little guy so overwhelmed with decision that his psyche must split cleanly in two!!!!
Give me that creature who, with an inability to see themselves as flawed, must blame their actions on a fucked up evil guy in his head. Give me some guy who's just really repressed!
#two face#harvey dent#jekyll and hyde#tgs jekyll#tgs hyde#gollum#smeagol#this is mainly a callout post for every adaptation of jekyll and hyde#like the original book stated that his brain didnt change just his body#this man was so repressed that he killed someone the second he could get away with it
52 notes
·
View notes
Text
really love how throughout a lot of smith and jones martha is really skeptical and apprehensive towards ten (+ one of my favorite exchanges between them - "what, people call you 'the doctor'?" "yeah?" "well, i'm not. far as i'm concerned, you've got to earn that title."), not taking everything he says at face value, even doubting the fact he's an alien until over halfway through the episode.. And like. i really truly think the thing that wins her over isn't him kissing her or any of the other insane mixed messages he manages to send, it's this scene here, where he /earns that title/ in her eyes:
(+ david's bit in the commentary, where he says: "[the doctor] has actually sacrificed himself, and - i would say, that that final act of selflessness is what finally, eventually, welds martha to him. [...] and she now returns it. she returns that act of selflessness.")
this is what their relationship is built on. it isn't about martha being the second-best replacement to rose or a rebound or whatever. bc it isn't really about rose. it's about doctor-in-training martha meeting someone (quite literally, "the doctor") whose ideals she aspires to, and doing her best to be the same person to him as he is to everyone else. it's about ten in return admiring her intelligence and inquisitiveness and how she cares for human life, recovering his compassion, letting himself lean on her for support - and then remembering at the most inopportune moments that he's supposed to not need anyone and be on his own forever. And around in their little nightmare loop they go where they save each other over and over until one of them breaks
i've seen ppl look at martha and go "why she does she admire/why is she so in love with ten if he acts like that to her?" or something along those lines and like. it's not just the fact she's in love with him (in fact i'd argue she actively tries to push it aside post-gridlock). it's the fact that she knows he's the kind of person to put everyone else's lives/well-being over his own. she trusts him to save her when she's in trouble even though it's been like two days at most that they've known one another bc she recognizes that same "deep all-encompassing drive to help others" in him. and she also recognizes, much much earlier than him, that he needs someone to save him, especially when he's unwilling to save himself. and yeah for a bit she thinks he returns her feelings and is just playing hard-to-get, but she realizes pretty early on that this probably isn't the case, and i think that realization fully solidifies here:
(this is when she's listening to ten talk abt gallifrey). And idk it might just be me but i think this expression isn't just her empathizing with his loss. it's also guilt, for wanting something from him that he's clearly unable to give when he's wracked with so much grief. (and you see it in the next episode, where tallulah asks if they're together and martha says for certain that they're not, and that he doesn't know about her feelings for him. she keeps everything to herself bc she now knows that when he shut her flirting down at the end of 3x01 it was the genuine reaction of someone who a) isn't interested and b) is scared of getting close with someone else again)
freema described their dynamic as "she's keener than him" and i think about this all the time. martha doesn't really take what ten throws at her. what she does instead is constantly poke holes in his already-failing front of "i will show someone the wonders of the universe so i can ignore what is wrong with me". what she does is stand up and fight him when he tries to go off on his own. what she does is put aside her well-being in favor of helping someone - just like what she saw him do for the people in the hospital when they first met. tldr, that's the doctor and his doctor and rip martha you would've loved who's gonna save u now by rina sawayama
#THIS ISNT ABOUT ROSE WE CAN STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT WHITE GIRL FOR 1 SECOND. IDC#ALL SHE DOES W REGARDS TO MARTHA IS REMIND HER THAT TEN ISNT GOING TO FALL IN LOVE W HER.#ALL SHE DOES W REGARDS TO TEN IS REMIND HIM THAT EVERY TIME HE LOVES SOMEONE HES FATED TO LOSE THEM. WE CAN IGNORE HER PAST THIS. GBLESS#martha jones#tenth doctor#dr who#ten and martha#'theyre like a rebound' shooting you with my laser eyes sorry. martha says it when she still thinks he's taking her on dates#if he hadn't opened up about gallifrey she would've been totally fine w him taking her back home#and meanwhile ten is very unaware of any kind of romantic element until like the fuckinn. last possible moment lmfao#they are doctor and mentally unstable bus driver. Or perhaps grieving man (genderneutral) and their One (1) friend that has to support them#um idk what this post is. i wanted to pick apart martha's brain for a hot second.#edit:#it's not like 5 am and i'm reading these tags and they're a lot more mean than i meant to put them down as#Not changing them bc i already wrote so much it's out there in the world already sorry. just imagine i'm saying this all nicely#10 era
437 notes
·
View notes
Text
No one had netflix releases a good adaptation of a Latin American literature classic that was considered impossible to adapt to screen on the bingo card.
Even less after the netflix releases a decent but nothing more adaptation of another latam classic also considered impossible to adapt. And the HBO butchers a third one that should be easy to adapt and perfectly setup for a tv show incidents in the past few months.
#cien años de soledad#a hundred years of solitude#the other two are pedro paramo and como agua para chocolate#100 años de soledad I 100% reccomend the show (and book) just be aware that it feels very different from a US/UK show as it should#the others read the books#or watch the como agua para chocolate film#I will never forgive the changes the show did#it was such a great opportunity to show a reality of mexico and that women arent just weak oppressed beings#and the book literally ends with the lead character doing everything in her power to break abuse cycles#super relevant book for today#but nooooo we wanted to say tradition bad and girlboss good#thats against the point of the book#it is one of my favorites ever and I hated every second of the show to the point where I am rereading the book atm to cleanse my brain
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
okay well now I just can't work on anything. ? Idk what's going on in my head but this is extraordinarily frustrating
#those air brush sketches have unexaggeratively been the only things I've drawn all work#I worked a teeny tiny bit on two other sketches#I don't know what's going on#it's like the second I have procreate open and pencil in hand it's like the world turns into television static#I'm getting so so so frustrated and I don't know what to do#I've been trying to let myself take a break. trying to work on other stuff. trying to just work on things a little bit at a time#every dang trick in the book but it's really like something's gumming up all the gears in my brain#and I know there's like an actual problem bc I've been physically exhausted and sore for days now too and I don't know why#nothings changed. I'm not doing anything differently#I swear I have just been gradually losing functionality the longer I take the vitamins I was deficient in. which makes NO sense#but it started days after I started taking them and nothing else I change or try is helping#?????????????#sunny with clouds
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
whump wednesday - part iii
tw / tags: concussion, blood, bleeding out, loss of consciousness character: Rook (who else?) status: canon (took place several irl months ago as part of Rook’s first “Horrible, Very Bad, No-Good Weekend”.) wordcount: 525
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3
Another continuation from earlier. The party has now made it back to the Winters' manor. Having lost a lot of blood since being revived (on top of his concussion), Rook is in pretty bad shape. His mentor, Sigmar, is attempting to get him to the Winters' healers.
Rook’s eyes drifted closed, the oblivion of sleep calling to him. A sharp prod at his side dragged them reluctantly back open. “Rook, you need to stay awake. Just a little bit longer, until a healer can have a look at you.” Sigmar’s voice was serious as he half-dragged, half-carried Rook down the hall of the Winters’ manor. Rook groaned in response. He was exhausted, and every inch of his body ached. He wanted nothing more than to close his eyes and fall headlong into unconsciousness. Sigmar prodded him again. “Tell me what happened to you. How you ended up in this state.”
Rook thought hard for a moment. How had he ended up like this? He remembered Celestia, and healing the party, and then- Oh, right. He started to explain, his words running together as he spoke. “This werewolf guy showed up. Deadringer?” Sigmar’s body tensed but he said nothing. “And he wanted Warren. Warren and Cherry, I think.” He paused, trying to remember what had happened after that. “He… he wanted to hurt them. So I told him he’d have to go through me first. And he said ‘Deal.’ and threw me across the room. I… I think one of his werebeasts killed me.” He felt rather than saw Sigmar shake his head. “I should never have left you. If I’d known she’d bring Deadringer into this… I shouldn’t have let you go off to fight someone like him without me.” Once again, Rook was surprised at the weight of the emotion in his mentor’s voice. He wanted to say It’s not your fault. Or maybe, I would have done it anyway, but his mouth wouldn’t cooperate. So instead he just rested his head on Sigmar’s shoulder. The damp chill that had come over him on the way here was getting stronger and he leaned into Sigmar’s warmth. “‘S cold,” he mumbled. Sigmar picked up the pace a bit, a worried edge creeping into his voice. “Come on, come on. Just a little further.” Rook’s eyes were heavy, and his awareness of the world was fading. He heard a door open, was vaguely aware of a brightly lit, white-painted room, of being laid down on a bed. He could hear people talking urgently, unfamiliar voices joining Sigmar’s. His muddled mind only caught fragments of their words. “Concussion… Severe… Significant blood loss… Not enough… ” Sigmar’s raised voice cut through the fog. “Help him, damn you!” It sounded very far away, as though coming from another room. Multiple sets of hands touched his skin, and the familiar warmth of healing magic (when had being healed become familiar again?, he wondered dimly) flooded his body. The cold, clammy feeling faded away. The constant pain he had stopped registering some time ago subsided, leaving blissful neutrality in its wake. His head cleared slightly too, blurred reality coming back into focus for a brief moment. Distant voices reached his ears, borne by that momentary clarity. “It’s safe for him to sleep now. He’ll be fine after some rest.” As if his body needed no further reassurance, Rook’s mind relaxed, and within seconds he sank into a deep sleep.
#morrigan.text#my writing#dnd writing#oc: Rook#whump wednesday#whump#it's the ''I would have done it anyways.'' that gets me. 😭#Rook would do anything for his friends. And I do mean ANYTHING. Literally the DAY BEFORE this Sigmar lectured Rook about his recklessness#and told him that his utter lack of regard for his own safety was borderline suicidal. And then barely 24 hours later he's trying to fight#a major villain on his own.#Sadly this isn't even the last time he basically dares a major villain to kill him and dies.#And the second time Warren died (permanently) trying to revive/save Rook.#just one of the many many many things he feels so insanely guilty for in the campaign.#the other big one is getting close with Sigmar bc he turned out to be a a corpse being controlled by the BBEG.#So Rook blames all the suffering that came from that reveal (including his own pain about it) on himself.#And the biggest tragedy is that Sigmar/Dr. Purity truly genuinely does love Rook. In his own fucked-up unhealthy way.#Rook found this novel that had a mentor character and Sigmar had filled every inch of the margins with notes of like ''apply this to Rook.'#and I will admit I absolutely lost it when the DM described it to me. I was like ''I THOUGHT YOU COULDN'T MAKE ME LOVE HIM MORE. I WAS WRON#and then just last week I was minding my own business eating goldfish crackers not even thinking about dnd and my brain was like:#''what if Rook told Purity that he found the book. What would his reaction be?'' and I was like oh shit. That would be heartbreaking.#and then my brain was like ''what if Rook revealed that right before he killed him?'' and that broke me.#because it's a simultaneous apology and acknowledgement of who Purity COULD have been and Rook admitting he does care about him.#but at the same time it's not going to change how things are going to end (Rook killing Purity himself as a mercy to both of them.)#And what makes Sigmar's betrayal so much sadder is that according to the DM the persona he played as Sigmar is the closest to the ''real''#man he was before he became Dr. Purity. Augh it makes me SICK.#these two are literally perfect mirrors. And it was 100% by accident.#I'll shut up about them now. But not for long. Everything circles back to these two eventually.
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
there are a couple changes i would make to the keyboard if i could:
wiggly exclamation mark
bleeding heart emoji
varying snake emojis (more poses would be fun)
question mark with a little heart for the dot bc, well,
more explosions
and that is all thank you
#just me hi#i need these a lot#wiggly bc it makes a lot of sense#i am saying something but with a sort of ~~~~~~ to it!!#/bleeding heart because the other night (it musta been about 3 a.m.) i was looking for an emoji to really get my point across and i sadly#realized that i had imagined the existence of it. the disappointment was immense <//3 hfhs#/SNAKES. need i say more? :>#do i know a lot about them? not yet. am i scared of them? yes. but i love them a lot thanky#/i am asking a question but it's with love#<3#/explosion emoji my beloved#we NEED to diversify hfhsvb#a mushroom cloud would be cool :3 or one that clearly has shrapnel in it#or one with a little heart that's like the exploding head emoji. because it's like that#i'm mentioning hearts a lot bc the heart is willing but the brain is. trying#//anyway in the other newsings i'm remaking those pi.e refs again lmao 👍#ik they're only so many months old but man i changed some of the designs a bit during those months hfhs#funny how i made refs because i thought 'oh i haven't changed their designs in forever - it's not like it'll happen anytime soon yea?'#and then..........#oath's design has changed the most minimally during these - how many ? two‚ three-ish years - so i thought Ahh nothin'll happen#but Then--#aura has morphed So many times - she was at least 3 different people before i actually Got her so hfvhs <3#kinda knew that would happen. but she's actually changed the least so Lollll#hid's usual look has not changed at All - only his actual form‚ which i tweak every second day or something#and i've neglected kira so badly fvfsh - so now i've added and removed and swapped things for her in worldrecord time ! i think i've got he#in a way i like though so :D#but bc of all these changes now i gotta make new refs bc they are Inaccurate#not a big deal. but oh it IS#wonder how long it'll take me this time lol :) only one way to know ehegh#//anywho ciao ! i've got the things and stuffs to be doing.. ooo toodles :33
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
speaking of ocd, I think I'm realizing that I truly don't have anxiety and it's literally just my ocd. im not anxious about anything until it involves me and suddenly I'm spiraling
#[static]#it's hard to describe succinctly but the anxiety I deal with nowadays is directly related to my ocd and autism#some anxiety is so easy to brush off but the ones stemming from my ocd are extremely difficult to get out from under#i'll spiral for weeks about one specific thing and ruminate on it and mentally worry and pick at it forever#it's utterly exhausting jfkdghdf some days are easier than others#and often that one thing I ruminate on becomes multiple things all stemming from the first thing#like recently it's been my car ... the thing is totally fine ... runs fine drives fine but ive been freaked out by it for the last 3 weeks#every time i go into the shop theyre like ... everything is good in fact its in good condition for its age and they'll mention like#one thing that will need to be replaced to keep it in tip top condition and then my brain will fixate on it and imagine all the ways#something horrific will happen if that doesnt get changed and then that leads to all the other things in the car suddenly freaking me out#i defs used to have general anxiety and depression but those went away literally the day i got top surgery#poof instantly gone it was wild and i kept waiting for the other shoe to drop#never did but now my ocd has been really bad the last 6 months cuz of all the extra horrifying things going on#so i thought it was just my anxiety coming back but this week i realized it was my ocd and have been treating it accordingly#and ive seen some relief but i definitely need to go back to therapy once i get my insurance again#its the only way to get a hold on it and my last therapist ended up moving states so we didnt get to work on tools for it very much#im yapping at this point i just needed to vent for a second about how truly yucky ocd makes me feel
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
kenji and brooklynn's relationship catalyst was trauma tbh like it might have been just a small affection and then the whole s3 finale happened and Kenji's fear of not being able to do something to save his loved ones from dying (sammy) tied to brooklynn being like a spark, esp after that scene...Rationalizing it bc it could've made sense to people if those copious scenes weren't there to distract. So basically more natural.
#kenlynn#squid talks#trauma is very much bonding material esp in these kids#trauma every second#the protags of other jurassic stuff#only has them experiencing it for a day. A Day.#but dino's for these guys are the norm LIKE THEIR BRAINS ARE FOREVER CHANGED#I FEAR WHAT ID FEEL LIKE IF CT DOESNT EXPRESS IT PROPRRLY#anyway kenji is the most immediately proactive saving of others after darius#Will fill in when he feels like darius is lacking#he just saved ben...
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
rereading the cynthia inigo support and im like wow. forgot how cute they were. like ohymgod… what the fuck… EXCEPT THAT ONE LINE AT THE END but like still. wow. i should pair them sometime i forgot cynthia was my favorite vanilla game pairing for inigo for a reason…
#freudian slips#its j that in awakening i don’t like pairing off the awakening trio bc it just makes me sad :(( youre j gonna leave them?? :(((#its so stupid ik but MANNN… so most of their romantic supports fall out of memory#but i cannot lie i am a big sucker for any of the second gen supports that are like ‘ive liked you since we were kids’ LIKE AWWWW…#i also really like the owain/severa support for that reason like im not that big on the ship itself but the s support is SOOO cute#but anyways yeah. idk!! i j think inigo and cynthias support is cute all the way through#its also like. mildly refreshing to see her be consistently nice to him#not that he deserves it. i fully believe every other kid is justified in giving him shit in all of his supports#but still. and then cynthia beating him in attracting girls? comedy. and ykw. good taste!!#and then this is just me but as someone who adores chrom!inigo and frederick!cynthia… WELLLL… I MEEEANNN#like im just saying……#also cynthia!soleil could be so cute. like think about it#ugh. brainworms are brain worming. will i ever obsess over an inigo pairing thats not a rarepair? unlikely….#normally im pairing cynthia with morgan buuuut… weeeeelllll… always time for change#but if i do another run and pair them i probably wouldnt run my normal pairings. maybe cordelia!inigo… i think thatd make severa mad. lol.
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
---
#sorry for being so afk recently#it probably won't change#i haven't had a calm moment since mid-December and it's starting to gnaw at my brain#and now the only irl place where I felt somewhat happy is falling apart bc of in-group-politics#it's so annoying#can't we just all breathe for a second?#can't everyone stop being passive aggressive assholes to each other for FIVE FUCKING MINUTES?#i don't want to pick sides#i don't want this stupid group to break apart#something has been feeling off since October and last week my friend and I finally put our finger on it#and BOY figuring it out has.not.helped.#meanwhile all I've been doing has been watching old races from the 90s#bc the only thing that makes my brain shut up at the moment is cars going vroom in a circle for 1.5hrs apparently#every irl interaction atm feels like walking on egg shells#and the only thing that's stopping me from crying every time i get home is just keeping myself busy and not thinking abt my life ever#anyway my insurance has blocked me from therapy for the next 3 years so that's great#.....i don't want to come on here and just complain but nothing has been going right recently.#maybe i'll be back to normal eventually but not at the moment#not for a while
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
It's so wild to me that there is a truly large amount of western liberals and leftists that are so desperate to reject western propaganda that they have decided to blindly accept eastern propaganda without even an ounce of scrutiny.
#guys if it seems too good to be true it always is#the western world has a lot of problems#ESPECIALLY the united states#but that doesn't mean that china is suddenly a shining bastion of flawless perfection#like use your goddamn brains for just thirty seconds#every nation has oligarchs and a ruling class#and every nation is running a game against every OTHER nation to say that they're the best and everyone else is worse somehow#it has been this way as long as we've had the concept of different societies#and it sure hasn't changed in the last two years because you saw a tiktok claiming no one in china pays rent if they lose their job
0 notes
Text
i love arguing with dumb ppl on tiktok
#‘xenogenders make the trans community look bad!!!!’ alright buddy…. wrap it up…..#bro wrote ‘the comment section isnt a place to be homo/transphobic’#and then wrote in the desc: ‘i have my limits with the trans community’#??? ho what 😭😭#jc’s cawing#idk why people care so much about shit that literally doesnt affect them#its genuinely not that hard to respect people even if you dont understand their identity#people will get a hint of someone different from them and want them burned at the stake#community without the unity istg 💀💀#man i fucking hate queerphobes#‘if you force me to use cat/catself when you then i have a problem’#brother nobody is forcing you to talk to me. free will and whatever#also most of the time people have other pronouns you can use????#and also its like. genuinely one syllable change. not that difficult bro 😭😭#why cant people use their brains for one second and realize that people identifying as whatever are not the ones taking away your rights#bro does NAWT know that queer rights came from people with complex identities that others couldnt understand at the time‼️‼️😂😂☝️☝️☝️#all about progressing and bettering the community until they get too queer for you. fucking hell#god forbid i want to have fun with my life and not fit into tiny little boxes#i fucking hate you people im gonna rip my eyes out#now im angry dude what the hell#can we just start killing people#if the purge ever happens im killing so many people slash joke#also this reminds me of the time when i fucking hated lesboys with every fiber of my soul#now im like yeah theyre there lmao#can we please start the trend of not giving a fuck about someones identity when it doesnt harm anyone directly please and thank you!!!!!!!!!#ok im done
1 note
·
View note
Text
unrelated to my other post but how the freak do i talk to people??? specifically strangers on the internet... there's so many cool people here i want to befriend but i SUCK at starting conversations and i'm afraid they'll think i'm weird
LIKE HOW DO I MAKE FRIENDS WITHOUT BEING LIKE "hi i've been stalking your account and you like the same things as me so i think you're cool. be my friend."
(also if any of my mutuals see this uhh hi. you're cool 👍 feel free to talk to me because i don't think i'll ever work up the courage to talk to you guys 😭)
#sorry my brain changes topics every 3 seconds#this isn't directed toward anyone specific btw#but please... i need more tumblr friends...#or just friends in general 😭#also why the FLIP did i use the word cool so much#can you tell i'm half-asleep and just writing whatever comes to mind#okay i'll shut up now
1 note
·
View note
Text
i once accidentally dated someone for a few months. its very difficult to explain how this happened, but the gist is that i thought we were hanging out, and she thought we were on dates, and it was just a very painfully highschool thing.
she was a little bit confused that i hadnt tried to pull any moves, at all, even a little. like, didnt even try holding hands because, and i cannot emphasize this enough, i did not know we were dating.
so, halloween rolled around, and she thought, you know, why wait for destiny, when you can grab it? so she hit me with a clue by four.
babylon, she said. babylon. my mom's gonna be out of town on halloween, and im gonna have the house to myself, and it's going to be kind of lonely. would you like to come to my house and watch scary movies with me?
you know, kind of a netflix and chill thing. except, and i cannot emphasize this enough, i did not know we were dating. also autism. so i took it at face value and said: oh! yeah! thatd be fun! and she thought she got her point across, but she didnt and it was a mess.
skip forward to halloween: my family has a block party every year, right? and at that point i was too old to really trick or treat, but we still wore costumes for our role in the block party, which in my case, was handing out cotton candy. so i took the first shift, and my costume was this homemade abomination minion thing. i had full yellow body paint, and goggles, and a bald cap, and overalls. the kids who saw it were like, uh, hm. overly realistic minion. and adults were like, oh, some kind of hills have eyes hillbilly with jaundice. very scary.
(it was not my best costume.)
my little brother swapped me out for second shift, and i was getting ready to change out to head to her house when i was like: no, she'll get a real kick out of this. this is one of the worst things i have ever worn. so i kept it on and just brought a change of clothes thinking i could shower real quick and change at her place after she saw my nightmare getup.
so i left after that, got there, knocked on her door, and she said come on in. so i went in, and there was this very long hall with an abrupt right turn into her living room where the tv was, and i went down the hall, and i made the turn, and my field of view went from beige drywal to her, on the couch, naked. naked in the paint me like one of your french girls pose. super naked.
i panicked. this was my first time seeing a real person like, full on sex naked,which is a totally different beast from other kinds of naked. you see one kind of naked and you think yeah, im ready for all the kinds of naked, but you arent. i wasnt at least. i really wasn't.
so my brain crashed to BIOS. she also crashed to BIOS, but for different reasons. of all the ways this could have turned me, having me show up in yellow body paint and overalls was pretty pretty low down the list.
so we sat there a while, and you know, she wasn't getting any less naked, which really wasn't helping me get my brain sorted out. it really wasnt much of a surprise when she got her bearings first and started asking questions.
"babylon," she said. "babylon. what are you wearing?"
and i was like, kind of rebooted, but i was nowhere near full functionality, so symbolic language wasnt loaded in yet. i had nothing running but my trusty autism.exe, so i said
"overalls"
and she looked at me like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked at her like she was the first naked person i had seen in real life who got naked specifically for me, and my upper level cognitive process went: "listen man, we are not going to get our shit together as long as 80% of your brain power is devoted to not blinking. you gotta get out of here."
and if id communicated that, maybe things would have been less of a mess, but instead i just kind of turned around and walked back to my car. i figured i could drive a few loops around the block, get my brain in order, and figure out what the hell we were gonna do.
the only thing i had said to her since arriving was, again, overalls.
first loop around, i was like: oh god fucking damnit. oh shit. oh shit. shes gonna get like, an eating disorder from this. oh no.
second loop around i was like: oh NOOOOO oh WHAT THE FUCK oh SWEET JESUS PLEASE. i dont wanna go back man. i just wanna bury this and forget about it. please. please. let this bitter cup pass from my lips.
and after my third loop, i went and i knocked on her door again.
she answered it this time, and i counted my lucky stars that she'd changed into some pajamas. she was all teary eyed which was the saddest thing ever, and we sat down in her kitchen and talked. it was pretty bad - i figured out we'd been dating, and she figured out that trying to jump from home plate to 3rd base is considered ballsy in baseball, least of all dating. no real winners there. and i can remember after all that, we sat there a bit a bit longer, just steadying ourselves, and i was like "well, im actually really glad we figured that out. guess i'll see you at school tomorow' and she said "WAIT. wait."
"lets watch shrek 2."
so we did and it was horrible. we did not look at each other. we did not say a word. we just sat in stony silence, while shrek 2 played in the background, and when it was done we shook hands. i think we might have been able to salvage that as a friendship if it hadnt been for shrek. as it was she turned white as a sheet and ran away every time she even got a glimpse of me at school, and that summer she moved to a new state to live with her dad. all her friends said she moved just so she wouldn't have to go to school with me anymore, and i dont actually think they were lying.
every time i hear relationship counselors talk about how important communication is, and i'm tempted to roll my eyes, i look back and go, alright. alright. theres probably some poor bastard, somewhere in the world, who doesnt even know that hes married.
and god help him when he figures it out.
other bad dating story here.
#funny stories#dating#dating fiascos#minions#the minion incident#anecdotes#fuck shrek#and fuck shrek 2#like its the best in the shrek series but that movie is basically my trigger now
17K notes
·
View notes
Text
Part 2 of ‘Bird Watching’ aka hot construction worker Simon x single mom
In truth, lying was something that came second nature to Simon Riley
He’d lied to his teachers in school about where he got his bruises and burn marks from, if they bothered to ask
He’d lied to his brother while their parents argued on the other side of the wall, telling him that everything would be okay
He’d lied to his dad about where he’d been all night, telling him he was making less money at the butcher job than he really was
Whatever lie he had to give to get through the day, get through the night, get through his childhood, he would offer up without so much as batting an eye
And as he got older, he started stretching the truth for different reasons
Whatever his CO’s needed to hear from him in order to let him do his job, then he’d let them hear it, true or not
Whenever people started asking too many questions, well-equipped sarcasm became his right hand man in avoiding the truth
Lying had always come in handy for Simon, whether it was a life or death situation or goading Soap into believing an obviously fictitious story, carefully chosen words and slight exaggerations had never steered him wrong before
This one, however?
Well, as he sat in an all too colourful daycare office with murals of ducks and bunnies watching over his every move, Simon began to wonder if this was one lie he shouldn’t have told
But then again, he wasn’t telling this lie out of malice, or greed, or ill-intent… he was doing this for you
Because at the end of the day, he’d be lying to no one apart from himself if he were deny how often you popped into his head
Ever since he’d first squinted through the glaring sun and spotted you through that flimsy chain link fence, since he’d heard your voice over the rumble and roar of construction behind him, since he’d spent less than ten whole minutes talking to you, it was as though something within him had started brewing, started changing
Similar to two live wires coincidentally meeting until an inevitable spark shoots through the air, akin to a wind chime that hadn’t rang out in years suddenly beginning to sway to and fro with the promise of strong winds on the horizon, or closer yet to that moment Franklin’s key and kite were struck by lightning and history was forever changed, meeting you had stirred something loose within Simon
For too long now, Simon felt as though he were nothing more than a man stuck behind the wheel, lost in the storm on an infinite stretch of road that would never lead him towards home, no matter how many maps or compasses or tools he may have, he was on a steady cruise control headed nowhere
But since he’d met you, since he’d learned about the situation you were in, you and your sweet little baby bird just as alone as him and up against the world, since he’d made up his mind and decided he’d help you in whatever capacity you’d allow, it was almost as if the fog had cleared from his tired eyes, as though he was finally glancing up from the maps and realizing that ‘home’ could be down any stretch of road he took, if he was willing to take it
You’d stumbled into his life on an afternoon like any other, instantly making a home for yourself in the recesses of his brain by that very same evening
His eyes now were constantly glancing at the phone number now tacked onto his fridge as he went about his routine, your smile appearing behind his eyelids as he tried in vain to fall asleep at night, or the image of the soft swell of your cleavage bouncing as you’d walked away playing on a loop in his mind until he’d accept he wasn’t going to be getting any shut eye until he allowed his hands to slip beneath the blankets
His early mornings were no longer spent cursing having to be up before the sun, instead he found himself staring at the empty spot across from him at the table, wondering if you were awake too, perhaps trying to soothe a fussy baby back to sleep, or feeding her from the same swollen breasts Simon selfishly wished he could suckle from as well
Or were you still laying in bed, staring up at the ceiling as you too struggled to fall asleep? Too worried about finding your baby bird a spot somewhere before the money ran out? Stressing yourself over things that Simon wished he could fix for you? That he knew he could fix for you?
Less than 24 hours after your first conversation, Simon had hounded just about every living and breathing soul working on the construction site, determined to come up with at least some bit of information, someone to contact, something that would lead him in the right direction, but everyone seemed to be just as in the dark as he was
He wasn’t easily deterred however, nor was he lacking in imagination, when he decided he was unwilling to return to his flat that night without being at least one step closer to having a valid excuse for calling the number that called out to him each time he walked through his kitchen, and so if no one apart from Simon happened to notice that every single blueprint disappeared from the site that night, well that was just unfortunate wasn’t it?
He’d nearly missed the phone call he’d been hoping to get the next morning, preoccupied with having to change his bed sheets after having dreamt of you again all night as visions of your soft body had him feeling like a teenaged boy again, he managed to snag his phone just before the ringer ended
As expected, the site manager had been on the other line, practically beside himself as he told Simon how he’d arrived at the site and discovered that some troublesome teenagers must have snuck in during the night and done away with their building plans, asking Simon if he wouldn’t mind driving to the supervisor’s office and snagging some copies
Simon had already been halfway out the door before he’d hung up
The foreman’s office was cluttered beyond belief, disorganized chaos he sifted through carefully to find the one piece of information he needed, and there amongst the loose papers and pencils and measuring tapes, was the next piece to the puzzle he was slowly solving; the buyers contact information
The blueprints were delivered back to the site in no time, having been kept safe in the back of Simon’s truck the entire time, and a carefully concocted story about needing to run to grab supplies for the job was believed by everyone as the tall man climbed back in behind the wheel and weighed his options
He could reach out to you now, he’d been able to find you the owner’s name, along with an email and phone number to contact, the promise he’d made to you was done, his duty fulfilled
He knew he could call, and you’d be overjoyed to hear from him, that you would be eternally grateful for his help, thanking him endlessly… but that would be the end of it, wouldn’t it? His role would be fulfilled, his duty done and over with, no other valid excuses for you to keep him within your orbit, he’d just be a kind stranger who’d done you an incredibly kind favour
But as Simon pondered that choice, he wondered, why stop here?
You were alone with a newborn, stressed enough as it was, you didn’t need more work being added onto your already full plate, he may as well go the extra mile and help you out even more, right?
At least, that’s what Simon kept telling himself now, as he sat in a too small chair inside of a much too colourful office, avoiding the judgemental eyes of the painted woodland creatures staring at him, as though they knew what his intentions were, waiting for none other than the owner herself
“Hi there, sorry to have kept you waiting.” The woman says as she walks in, reaching a hand out to greet him as he stands to meet her halfway. “My assistant director says you’re here from our newest expansion? The East end location?”
“Yes ma’am, that’d be the one.” Simon offers politely, lowering himself back into the chair he hardly fits in once she rounds the desk and sits down as well. It would make sense that that was what her assistant has told her, as that was the story Simon had offered, reasoning that he had to speak with the owner about the project, not giving them much choice when he showed up to the office unannounced
“There aren’t any issues with construction so far, are there? We shouldn’t be expecting any delays?” She questions, getting straight to the point. Simon appreciates that she isn’t wasting any time with small talk, he also wants this done quick, he’s got a pretty bird waiting on him after all
“No ma’am. Everythin’s on track so far.” He replies easily, omitting the small hiccups she doesn’t need to know about. “M’afraid that’s not why I’m ‘ere today.”
“Well, what can I help you with then?” She questions, an over plucked brow raising as she tilts her head
“Had a few questions ‘bout the nursery we’re buildin’ for ya.”
“Oh, well- I believe the specifications were in the plans for-”
“Not so much ‘bout the building itself, ma’am.” He cuts her off, not unkindly, but clarifying his point. “Was more so wondering ‘bout- well, it’s a decently big plot o’ land we’re working on. How many lil’ ones are meant be in there?” He asks, trying his best to ease his way into this conversation
“Currently, plans are set to have two preschool classes, two toddlers classes, as well as an infant class. With full capacity we could have up to 88 children in the centre. Why are-”
“How many of those spots are for the babes?”
“We can have up to 10 infants at most.”
“Alrigh’, and how many o’ those spots are available?” He finally asks, cutting to the chase, ripping the bandaid off. Simon watches understanding cross her face and she lets out a small scoff, not rude, but more so like she knew she should have expected as much
“Ah, I see now.” She says with a knowing smile sent his way. “I appreciate your interest in our centre, and I understand nursery spots have been scarce in the city, but I have to be honest sir, we do have a wait list policy. There are numerous families already signed up wi-”
“It’s a little girl.” Simon cuts her off firmly this time, not wanting to entertain whatever rejection she was preparing to give him. No, he wouldn’t be leaving here without good news for you, he couldn’t do that. He ignores the painted birds mocking eyes as he steels himself as presses on. “She’s just a tiny thing. Eight weeks old, almost nine now I suppose. Her mum’s got to be back to work, hasn’t got much of a choice. There’s no family ‘round to help or nothin’. She needs this spot for her.”
The woman’s lips thin as she looks at him with understanding, with sympathy, none of the things Simon cares to see unless she’s nodding her head in agreement. He knew it might take a little push to convince whoever was behind the desk to do the right thing, to help him do right by his birdie and her baby bird, and so he’s not ashamed, nor above saying:
“I’ll make sure the job’s done early.”
At this, both her brows now shoot up, obvious intrigue now painted across her features as she blinks at him.
“Pardon?”
“I will see to it that everything is ready ahead of schedule. Personally. The sooner the place is open, the sooner you start making money, the sooner kids are in and sooner parents are happy. Everyone wins.”
Simon watches her ponders his words, gears turning in her head as she thinks it over. She could easily refute him, call him out for being out of line and send him on his way, tail tucked between his legs. But Simon knows a desperate person when he sees one, knows just what people want to hear, and so he isn’t surprised when she’s suddenly standing from her desk, crossing the room to shut the slightly ajar door, and he smiles to himself slightly, knowing he’s won.
“Now when you say ahead of schedule-”
“Could have ‘er ready by the end of the month. I’ll pull the strings, make it happen. You leave it to me and it’ll be done.” He answers easily, confidently, like there is no question in his mind he can offer up such promises and see them through to fruition. Hell, he’d build the entire goddamn thing by himself day and night if that’s what she wanted to hear, whatever would convince her
“I mean-” she says, letting out a long sigh as she leans back in her chair, opening up a drawer and rummaging through for something or another. “I can’t lie, this wouldn’t be the first time we’ve made exceptions for someone, especially one of our own builders.”
Simon nods along, pleased with the way this is going thus far, though things take an abrupt turn when she next says:
“I would still like to meet with your wife and daughter first, just to iron out the enrolment details and confirm whether this would be a good fit, but I can- I could potentially find a way to make this work.”
And Simon knows this is the moment where he’s supposed to correct her, where he’s supposed to speak up and clarify that no, you aren’t his wife and she isn’t his daughter, that she’s misunderstood him and that the two of you are strangers he met earlier this week- fuck he doesn’t even know your baby’s name yet for crying out loud- all of this could fall apart tremendously as soon as she asks even a single question that he won’t have the answer to, potentially jeopardizing this entire thing for you and her, and yet-
“Brilliant. The missus will be thrilled.”
Next chapter
Alrighty first off, apologies for the delay between posts, writers block and life in general are so ew, but we’re so back babe
All the love on the first part was so unexpected and so so appreciated!!! Y’all have me looking like this with every comment and reblog and tag-
Gonna strive to have part 3 out before the end of the weekend hopefully, don’t want to keep you all waiting so long again
- M 🫶🏻
#simon riley x reader#simon ghost x reader#call of duty#call of duty fic#call of duty fanfic#simon ghost riley#simon riley#ghost x reader#cod fanfic#ghost x you#cod simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost fanfic#call of duty ghost#ghost cod#cod simon riley#simon fluff#readwritealldayallnight
5K notes
·
View notes