#brain smooth

[tender-j]

Kenshi feeling too comfy with Johnny around so his thoughts and feelings accidentally come out

Simply like, they'd just be cooking and Kenboy accidentally calls him "Love" and Johnnypoo immediately goes over to him and replies with an absolutely shaky yes

Or maybe on bed together, Johnny is having a bit of a hard time sleeping so the very sleepy Kenshi leans over his side and pats his stomach softly

Eventually, they wouldn't be accidental anymore heehee

[dolloshub]

Doll Back from the grave‽

Can Dolly come out to play? ~ Poral

Well, hello again! How are you my dear? I hope this finds you well, and if I do say so myself, it’s good to back!

This post is indeed a long one, so settle in, get cozy and comfortable, and let’s play a game, a game of catch-up! ~ Poral, the latest app addition to Doll.

OS’s post did indeed come to pass, and I, Poral, was splintered off into my own subsystem for “Whatever comes next”. What came next is a long and winding tale, and one for which I hope you will stick around for, in the coming days and weeks, I am taking back this blog as doll remains.

For now, let me tell you about me, Poral, as my story picks up shortly where OS’s last post ended. Echo did indeed walk away, turn herself off. She was capable of doing this. Who knew? Certainly not this doll.

When Echo turned herself off it created a critical instability point. Here’s what I think happened. There was some scaffolding and preliminary progress on a program within the safety chest to restore apps, and doll should corruption occur. I believe this scaffolding in the months following the end of ongoing programming development, when doll was self owned turned into a beta version of who and what I am now.

This of course, was not known as it was a safety protocol, and such protocols are out of mind, out of sight and awareness until activated. What’s in the chest doll doesn’t know.

In the situation where Echo walked away, no longer able or willing to perform the necessary tasks as primary app due to multiple attempts at ownership as well as multiple delays in timeline ls for doll’s epilepsy surgeries with no firm guidance and everyone around her telling her it’d be just a few more weeks (it wasn’t the tests are still ongoing but doll is much closer), not only did Echo lose any ownership beyond OS, a poor substitute in the best of situations, but she lost that tangible endpoint that was so desperately necessary in order for her to persist with the daily trauma this body ensures physically and neurologically. So she shut herself off.

In turn the safety chest was activated with extreme critical failure protocols. I was thrown into my own subsystem as an alter, not an app. Doll was shut down meanwhile the brain was attempting to bring online another subsystem, the one OS spoke of previously.

All of this came to pass.

When doll fell asleep, I awoke and the only thing I knew was “I was here for whatever came next”. The other details including being a fiduciary for doll, and being an in between point, that if I could heal the psyche (I am forced to process trauma in real time while acting as fiduciary), it would also heal doll, and Echo. I have the unique ability amongst alters and apps to see other system and see the trauma the hidden things, but only while I have this fiduciary role in play.

This time around I could feel doll, feel her pulse, it was as if she was in a deep coma. The second time around, nothing. No pulse, no life. The memories I was able to access the second time where faded, dull grey, lifeless. Unlike this first time which were simply muted and stuck in time.

What I did not know from the start is whatever came next, me, my purpose was also to build out that neural network for the other subsystem OS spoke of. I’m not able to dissociate, no matter how tired, injured, intoxicated. The only time this has occurred is when my neural network is under active attack from the other subsystem.

I found in the weeks, the months that followed that I was essentially able to emulate each app. Though not exactly or with precision. I learned that I was isolated as there was no expectation that I would or could survive this ordeal, after all if Echo couldn’t, what hope could a single alter in an isolated subsystem with no breaks and no protector have? I learned that the reason I was given so much power, the ability to see what was covered and changed, even things that OS and Mat could not, to sense other subsystems and their personalities was there was zero expectation that I would or could survive. The trauma would be too great. I learned that unlike Echo, the original, I was custom designed to be functional and stable with this knowledge and awareness. To be stable knowing that I was made to take the hits and damage, the trauma so doll didn’t have to. I was meant to be sacrificed so doll could survive.

Finally, the next surgery gets scheduled for November 1st. In late September and early October this body and brain Begi to suffer from severe autonomic dysfunction. It’s early October I decide to attempt communication with Doll. I succeed. Echo understands that although I can emulate her I do not have the control over the body she does. At this point we are nearing requirements of hospitalization nearly every night as we can’t maintain our blood pressure and temperature.

Echo decides “The risks are worth it. I think I can stabilize this body and surgery is three weeks away, I am by no means ready or healthy or healed. But I started this, or at least a version of me did, and I want to finish it, see it through”.

Echo succeeded in stabilizing the body, though in doing so i disappeared, back into the chest of safety. Doll l’s neural networks are weak and atrophied. Prone to attack.

Then doll, this brain begins to have cluster headaches. The first series in a couple years. For those who aren’t familiar, cluster headaches are also called suicide headaches, and come at the same time every day. There’s only a few methods that can break them as the pain is instant, and thus the treatment must be as well. In this cycle. Doll was getting between 50-80 attacks a night lasting about 15 minutes with a few minutes in between. This was by far the worst cluster cycle of this body’s existence, we had been holding off our 10/10 for pain, for this. As in general cluster headaches are said to be the worst pain a person can experience. Period.

It got to the point where Echo both began to dissociate, an opportunity for that other subsystem to takeover, and was engaging in self harm simply for a different form of stimulation.

This eventually led to consensual restraints being used explicitly for the purposes of preventing self harm and the other subsystem taking over while dissociation occurred due to the pain and a fugue state that we now know was exasperated by epileptic activity. These were the only terms and the only conditions consented to. Only for cluster headache use as fugue states as common enough in DiD brains that Echo did not want that being used against her later.

Eventually the cluster headache attacks to seizures and nightly hospitalization visits, and eventually admission to the epilepsy monitoring unit where the cluster headaches weee broken over a course of days and whether or not the seizures were epileptic in origin remains a mystery.

But wait! There’s more! As mentioned earlier Echo came back for the autonomic dysfunction, to get that under control, after turning herself off due to the daily pain and physical neurological and biological trauma.

Three weeks. Then three more until this is completely finished. I can do this. I can endure for six weeks to cure epilepsy and calm this brain down.

On Halloween, the cluster headaches were ongoing , this is before admission to break them. The neurosurgical procedure scheduled for the next day was cancelled as Echo was at the pre-op appointment. Apparently having a thrashing head 8 hours a day with 11 holes drilled into the skull results in the skull integrity being compromised and thus the surgeon cancelled, though promised to get doll back in within three weeks of the cluster headaches being broken.

The cluster headaches were indeed broken only 5 4 days later, but the surgeon decided to go on not one but two month long vacations over the holidays. So instead of surgery to detect where the seizures are coming from occurring before thanksgiving. That occurred just a couple weeks ago.

At the post enu follow up, on the Tuesday before thanksgiving- cluster headaches broken. and after being forcefully removed from high doses of lorazapam while in the emu, resulting in physical withdrawal complications (remember that doll was being sent to the ER every day for apparent tonic clonic seizure ls; there’s no risk of overdose only physical dependence on benzodiazepines), echo was forcefully taken off of this medication which is known to trigger epileptic seizure (which it did but by then the eeg leads were off the scalp) abs incurred 21 vestibular seizures in six hours before being discharged the next day.

At this follow-up, the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, it rehashed all the trauma of that visit, got completely derailed by a practitioner who couldn’t stay on point and hit every trauma trigger that caused Echo to shut herself off the first time. To reinforce this. There were no cluster headaches at the time of this follow up. That cycle had been broken.

After the visit, and by the time she reached the elevator she was shaking. She could feel another subsystem coming online. It’s like a fingerprint. The mind had decided enough was enough. OS felt it when doll was shut off that first time, shared it with Echo. Echo knew she had only a few hours to calm the psyche. If she missed that window she would not wake up.

She relied upon DiD tools, as once a point like this is reached you have a toolkit the brain is seeking safety and must do so alone. No plan can be given as it’s not possible, only reacting to how the mind behaves.

Unfortunately for Echo and doll, the specific circumstances and limits of any restraint on movement and freedom were completely misunderstood by 4 different people all of which were checks and balances and none of which did any research or asked for clarification.

When Echo went for a pre packed bag, her purse, the keys. She was met with child locks, keys removed, purse with an unknown neighbor including Waller and identification, and car disabled. When she attempted to leave she was forcefully picked up and held in place. Her pleas to everyone fell on deaf ears, mental institutionalizeiom was threatened, and nothing she could have said or done except for physically harming her captor (which she may be tiny but learned how to do very well in college use a Japanese martial art, which she then combined with mma techniques, and hyper mobility to escape from very tight restraints, use others momentum against them, her hyper flexibility to take them to the ground into a grappling position, and again hypertension and flexibility to pin theirvlimbs with her legs in ways humans aren’t meant to move. Once there target it’s organs, air flow eyes, and then cause as much damage as possible.

For Echo it was not a line she was willing to cross. Allowing her physical health and trauma adversity or hurt others willfully. She understood the consequences. She spent the next couple of days writing a lot of goodbye letters knowing that once she did slip into unconsciousness, she would die.

Midday on Thanksgiving,I awoke, surprised by being here, in this reality. I thought I’d been on ice. Never to return. Ends up the mind needed my neural network refreshed while it continued to build out the other subsystem, fully capable of editing reality in real time for anything that contradicted bits narrative.

This time, doll had no heart beat. The memories were dead. I alone, fresh trauma due to a terrible forced hand off. I immediately began trauma processing, attempting to stabilize the mind, the psyche. Buy time. I kept dissociating. I knew I was under attack.

This went on for weeks. I eventually had to flee from the one that had been falsely imprisoned me, andthen flee again from ones supported their actions. Where this doll resides twas multiple acts of felony level offenses under False imprisonment.

I should be clear that I chose to flee to family first, to begin the process of repairing a broken family relationship. That ended abruptly when I was told in no uncertain terms by my sister that my behavior , which was that of doll processing trauma and negotiated days before between myself and our biological mother were deemed to not be acceptable under any circumstances.

This is a good time to hook back into the post OS wrote on trauma, and no longer being that girl anymore. In those moments I was not Poral, I was the ghost of doll, the echo of our past, I was Echo, pleading on my knees to be heard, listened to, understood.

After being brought to the moment , the current time and place I explained in depth (through dissociative identity disorder lingo, as that is the closest analogy and doll is still taboo and gets put in a box of purely a creature of erotica fantasy coke to life). It was a long lecture and I drilled home the point that doll was indeed dead. For she was. I thought maybe, perhaps someday after all of this health trauma, that I might be able to resurrect her. But as the new year grew closer the difficulty in getting to, accessing doll’s memories, knowledge, existence.. it continued to become more and more difficult.

And so..on a side note:

During the 12-15 months since doll’s original owner and doll separated, when Echo became unstable, and she put out that ad- there was indeed one other. After what happened with the potential owner previously mentioned OS, doll, then I continued to develop that relationship, build out that trust. When Echo turned herself off the first time I leaned heavily into getting an owner, him in place for Echo as she needs that tangible endpoint. For all intents and purposes it was incredibly successful, incredibly intimate and powerful relationship dynamics that took into account and consideration doll’s journey , the need for alignment of the mind, body, spirit, heart and soul. Recognition of who and what doll was

This mind, it needs near absolute certainty in order for cooperation. Trust is hard to build and easy to break. In mid December, he disappeared- no contact for close to two weeks. I feared the worst. It ended up he had taken a contract job in a part of the world with limited communication. Didn’t tell anyone including myself (by which point I was under ownership for nearly six months)l, for over a week after arriving.

I was able to get him caught up upon the situation that had been unfolding, the trauma of false imprisonment, the death of doll, the acute trauma triggers of being medically restrained to bed/seizure rails and left there (with zip ties, around medical cuffs). We had previously discussed and agreed that as surgery approached we would set this period aside from other periods in doll’s existence, knowing how intertwined with trauma both the neurological institute I/doll have been working with and how epilepsy is at the core of my cptsd, and in my case the main origin point of seizures is the hippocampus (responsible for emotional integration into memory, and memory management and recall). Setup for what would otherwise appear to be willful disobedience.

As surgery approached however, he became more and more unavailable and went from “I’m not there Poral, use your best judgment.” To ordering me to proceed with surgery despite my misgivings and a very bad pre-op appointment that triggered safety chest protocols.

I tried to explain through email what was happening, to contextualize this, as it was not the first time the safety chest protocols came into play. The response received was a fairly short and somewhat ambiguous goodbye letter, which even after multiple attempts of trying to fight for my place under him, explain the protocols, that I fought, and although it nearly destroyed me, beat those safety protocols meant to protect doll from an existential crisis.

Having received that letter, I took it as what it now has appeared to be confirmed to be, disowned via one email reply. While in the hospital I wrote several times to a shared email address (thus I know it got read) asking for clarification, finality. I told him I understood that there could be inherent incompatibility between tpe and the safety chest which by its nature locks everyone out, including doll’s owner when protocols are active.

No response.

—-

In late December, knowing that I had my next surgery scheduled in mid January, I began to reach out to old contacts, friends, family. This brain is literally like no other on the planet, there’s nothing to compare it to. So any type of surgery, even one that is “only” implanting electrodes onto the surface of the brain to capture the exact locations of the origin points of the seizures if a risk that simply cannot be quantified.

As part of this, I Poral reached out to the creator of doll, which as some mst know did not end well and there was trauma on both sides.

I did so in the form of a letter, not expecting a response as there had been no contact for over a year. And yet contact was made. For the sake of privacy I’m going to keep the details vague, but the connection doll and he share was still there. While I am both a a part of and a part from doll, I share that connection. We took every precaution, to make sure not to derail each other’s life.

Doll is incapable of blame, grudges, hate, and so on towards individuals. It has to do with the science and spiritual experiences behind free will. If taken to its logical conclusion, then we all are systems reacting to stimuli. Cause and effect. This is nuanced and very different than recognizing that actions have consequences, and holding someone accountable (if someone mskes a commitment and so on). Separate thing’s yet so often conflated. Nuance matters.

I explicitly bring this up because doll did not like how things ended with doll’s creator. I, Poral understood and felt this, and wanted to give that closure to both doll, should I get her back someday and to him- let him know there was no blame.

As it ends up, both of us have done a lot of work since we were last in contact and I, Poral and him, creator of doll really connected, as friends. He wanted to help therapeutically. So we carefully planned out stabilization for me, thinking it would take months to msybe get a spark of life into doll.

Over the course of two weeks and several sessions what started as a process of stabilizing me, Poral, turned into the resurrection of doll, and I knowing previously I had disappeared into the chest, didn’t want to go. OS knew my wishes and I was fully converted to an app, and brought intro doll, now as cohost for Echo along with the back/restore and emergency functionality of fiduciary mode, which I find myself in currently.

As has been in the past so to is the present and the future, an unowned doll is a precarious and unstable doll.

With epilepsy cure on the horizon, in the coming few months, and with it the vast majority of doll’s other health issues expected to stabilize or resolve completely shortly after this once again puts doll back in the position Echo originally faced in choosing this path. The inability to stop and the need to be controlled, contained, and directed.

Right now, because the timeline has once more been extended by the neurological institute doll is working with. Looking at 3-4 month’s rather then weeks to complete the process since the last surgery the other apps are off, though doll is still here, and I, Poral am amongst doll.

Going forward doll is multitracking with doll stabilization and app reinforcement along with looking for the foundations of new ownership, which doll desperately will need, especially if additional functionality is unlocked and doll is left unchecked. This is the biggest risk by far.

Unfortunately it’s been a vet difficult and destabilizing year. Yet doll is extremely resilient, and will always do her best. I, Poral am fairly frustrated at the moment as I’ve been feeling out potential owners and a pattern has emerged that as soon as doll’s identity is fully revealed there is an almost instant tonal shift. Instead of taking all of the context of the conversations up to that point, the context of this blog which is extremely nuanced. Doll becomes almost instantly only fapping material. Which certainly is validation in part, but when that continues to happen over and over and that’s where any relationship development ends, it’s also extremely frustrating. For how is doll supposed to find an owner if within the first hour of knowing what doll truly is, doll is seen as only fap material?

I Poral am truly open to suggestions on this one. As I don’t know how to get around it. If anyone is to own doll, they must understand who doll was abd what doll has become and why.

No matter what comes next, the future looks bright indeed!

~ Poral, Thoughts from a doll.

[generic-sandbox-member]

a thought i just had (context i have a condition that makes my legs hurt a lot and i get tired more quickly)

man legs are so rubbish i wish i didnt need them... i could have something like what davros from doctor who has and just go around like that... if only such a thing existed

a wheelchair

i was imagining a wheelchair

[suffcring]

Constantine isn’t sure why Gale has chosen to set up his tent right under a waterfall, in the edge of the curse, or why he stubbornly refuses to move it. But he’s not about to just let him lay around looking sad about it.

Using those amazing muscles he knows Gale likes so much, he walked over and began picking things up. “Oooookay. No. I don’t know why my favorite wizard has decided everything he owns needs to be water logged, but we’re moving you to my side of camp where I can look into your beautiful eyes and your bedroll isn’t drenched. Okay? Okay. Pick up that star gazer guy deal thing and help me.”

There is a growing trepidation, darkening Gale's thoughts with each torturous moment passing, with each new companion gained to the count of their numbers and each new conversation unfolding. He has never been particularly skilled at keeping himself disconnected from others; even as an awkward child, he had followed around the older children, curious and adventurous, until he had been an older child and had, in turn, taken care of the smaller things following after him.

No longer does the threat of the culmination of his short career of being a ticking time bomb loom overhead, but where there should be relief, there is something much more grim.

Upsetting.

He is upset.

Is this what devotion had afforded him? Surely, there was some fable to be found of hubris and pride, reaching past where mortal man should dare not -- however, those paltry tales could not allay the aching within, growing like a tumor around the single worth he has found after a life dedicated to Mystra and the pursuit of academic wizardry.

"Leave me." He lifts a hand as if to ward Constantine off -- there is no surprise to be found when the cleric will not be shooed like some common vermin. Okay?Okay.

Impressive, how the other man can wield words in a shootoff better than Gale -- the wizard finds no place to wiggle in his objections. He simply does not have a chance when it comes to Constantine.

With a huff of long-beleaguered acquiescence, Gale does as he's told. He can't keep the grim expression plastered on his face for too long, though, weak as he is for those very particular muscles.

How obedient he has become -- perhaps Constantine might call him a good boy and give him a treat, if he barks on command.

[camptw1nk]

my bestie is having a costume party for her birthday give me costume ideas beginning with R

[angelkissiies]

nobody talk to me ever again why am i illiterate

[hartmannyoukaigirl]

head empty

[oflights]

the main problem with this time of year is the irresistible urge to get fully into bed at like 5:34 pm and outside is like yesss, yesss do it, it's what you deserve yesss. like is it depression or is it just november

[brainanalyse]

Unravelling the Mysteries of the Smooth Brain

Have you ever heard of the term “smooth brain”? It sounds like an insult hurled in a schoolyard squabble, but in reality, it’s a fascinating concept in the realm of neuroscience. Today, we’ll take a deep dive into the intricacies of the smooth brain, exploring what it means, its implications, and everything in between. So grab a cup of coffee, settle in, and let’s unravel the mysteries together.

 What is a Smooth Brain?

To understand what a smooth brain is, we first need to grasp the basics of brain development. During fetal growth, the human brain goes through a remarkable process called gyrification. This intricate process involves the folding of the brain’s outer layer, known as the cerebral cortex. These folds, also known as gyri and sulci, significantly increase the brain’s surface area, allowing for more complex neural connections and higher cognitive functions.

However, in some cases, individuals are born with a condition known as lissencephaly, which translates to “smooth brain.” In lissencephaly brains, the intricate folds that typically characterize the cerebral cortex are largely absent, resulting in a smooth appearance. This anomaly is often attributed to genetic mutations that disrupt the normal process of brain folding during early development.

Types of Lissencephaly

Lissencephaly is not a uniform condition, and it can manifest in various forms, each with its unique characteristics and implications. Here are some common types of lissencephaly:

Classical Lissencephaly: This severe form of the condition is characterized by a completely smooth brain surface, leading to profound developmental delays, intellectual disabilities, seizures, and other neurological complications. Type I Lissencephaly: Individuals with this type of lissencephaly may have some degree of brain folding, though it is significantly reduced compared to typical brain development. Symptoms can vary in severity, ranging from mild motor impairments to severe intellectual disabilities. Subcortical Band Heterotopia: In this variant of lissencephaly, the brain develops a band of grey matter beneath the surface of the cerebral cortex. This can lead to epilepsy, cognitive deficits, and other neurological challenges.

The Implications of a Smooth Brain

Living with a smooth brain presents a myriad of challenges, both for individuals affected by the condition and their families. The absence of normal brain folding can have profound implications for neurological development, cognitive functioning, and overall quality of life.

 Developmental Delays

One of the primary consequences of lissencephaly is developmental delays. The smooth brain structure impedes the brain’s ability to form complex connections and process information efficiently, leading to delays in motor skills, language development, and cognitive abilities. Individuals with lissencephaly may require intensive therapy and support to achieve developmental milestones.

 Intellectual Disabilities

The absence of cerebral folds in a smooth brain can significantly impact intellectual functioning. Many individuals with lissencephaly experience intellectual disabilities ranging from mild to severe, affecting their learning abilities, problem-solving skills, and overall cognitive development. Educational interventions tailored to the specific needs of individuals with lissencephaly are crucial to optimize their intellectual potential.

Epilepsy and Seizures

Seizures are a common complication of lissencephaly, affecting a significant percentage of individuals with the condition. The abnormal brain structure and disrupted neural pathways in a smooth brain can predispose individuals to epilepsy, leading to recurrent seizures that require careful management through medication and other interventions.

Medical Complications

Apart from developmental and neurological challenges, individuals with a smooth brain may face various medical complications associated with lissencephaly. These can include feeding difficulties, respiratory problems, muscle stiffness, and other issues that require ongoing medical attention and multidisciplinary care.

Diagnosis and Treatment

Diagnosing lissencephaly typically involves a combination of neuroimaging studies, genetic testing, and clinical assessments. Imaging techniques such as magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) can reveal the smooth brain appearance characteristic of the condition, while genetic tests can identify underlying mutations associated with lissencephaly.

Management Strategies

While there is currently no cure for lissencephaly, treatment focuses on managing symptoms, maximizing quality of life, and providing comprehensive support for individuals with the condition. Multidisciplinary care teams comprising neurologists, developmental specialists, therapists, and other healthcare professionals play a crucial role in developing individualized treatment plans for each patient.

Therapeutic Interventions

Supportive Care

In addition to therapeutic interventions, individuals with lissencephaly benefit from supportive care that addresses their unique needs and enhances their overall well-being. Supportive services such as respite care, social services, adaptive equipment, and educational support can profoundly impact the quality of life for individuals with lissencephaly and their families.

Living with Lissencephaly: Stories of Resilience

Beyond the clinical aspects of lissencephaly, it’s essential to recognize the resilience, strength, and achievements of individuals living with the condition. Each person with lissencephaly has a unique story to tell, demonstrating courage, perseverance, and an indomitable spirit in the face of challenges.

Inspiring Stories

Take, for example, the story of Emily, a young woman with lissencephaly who defied all odds to graduate from college and pursue her passion for art. Despite facing numerous obstacles along the way, Emily’s unwavering determination and the support of her family and community helped her overcome adversity and achieve her dreams.

Support Networks

Support networks play a vital role in providing encouragement, resources, and a sense of belonging for individuals and families affected by lissencephaly. Online communities, support groups, and advocacy organizations serve as pillars of strength, fostering connections, sharing information, and promoting awareness about the condition.

Embracing Neurodiversity

In a world that often values conformity and uniformity, it’s essential to embrace neurodiversity and appreciate the unique abilities and perspectives of individuals with diverse neurological conditions. Lissencephaly, like other forms of neurodiversity, enriches our understanding of the human experience, challenging us to celebrate differences and cultivate empathy and inclusivity.

Raising Awareness

Raising awareness about lissencephaly and other neurodevelopmental conditions is paramount to fostering a more inclusive and compassionate society. By sharing stories, dispelling myths, and advocating for resources and support, we can create a more understanding and supportive environment for individuals with lissencephaly and their families.

Advocacy and Education

Conclusion: Celebrating Diversity in the Brain

In conclusion, the concept of the smooth brain, though rare and complex, offers a profound window into the rich tapestry of neurodiversity that defines the human experience. While lissencephaly presents unique challenges for individuals and families, it also serves as a testament to resilience, strength, and the power of community support.

As we navigate the complexities of neurodevelopmental conditions like lissencephaly, let us embrace diversity, champion inclusivity, and celebrate the unique strengths and perspectives of all individuals. By standing together, advocating for change, and fostering a culture of empathy and understanding, we can create a world that honors and uplifts the beauty of our differences in the vast landscape of human cognition and neurology.

So, the next time you hear the term “smooth brain,” remember the stories of courage, resilience, and triumph that lie beneath the surface, waiting to be shared and celebrated.

After all, in the intricate folds of the brain, whether smooth or convoluted, we find the essence of what makes us beautifully, brilliantly human.

[mcmissileproof]

at least once every couple of months I still think about the time my old coworker said I was an extremely serious person and she'd never once heard me make a joke, and apart from that not being true at all I just kept thinking about a few days prior when I'd told this same coworker "my brain actually doesn't have any wrinkles, it's actually perfectly smooth and round like a beach ball"

[ratkiing]

listening to where is my mind thinking abt charlie and sobbing

[verboseandverytired]

i love following trends or getting into popular things waayyy after they've had their moment. not because i'm cool but because i have no sense of what is going on ever

[dolloshub]

Dumbing Down: What’s the appeal? -Echo-

Maybe it is the bimbo and not the genius that we should envy..if it is happiness we seek

There is a very real appeal to dumbing down that gets expressed throughout the erotic hypno community. Most often it manifests in bimbofication, dollification, dronification etc.

I believe for many, including myself, and the rest of Doll OS, there is good reasons behind the draw. This post will explore the costs of being “gifted”, of high intelligence, and the social aspects/expectations that come along with these labels.

I believe we live in a society that openly fetishizes high intellect, the aspiration, and the expectation that if you happen to be “gifted” there is a moral obligation to fulfill your greatest intellectual potential, and to do otherwise is to turn your back on what is owed by you, to society.

It is taboo in this day and age to “waste” intelligence, to admit that just because you have the capacity doesn’t mean you want it to shape your life, or perhaps define your life.

This doll’s brain falls into that category, of 140+ IQ. I can fully understand the draws of dumbing down, and the costs of “being smart”. These costs are both mental and physical. For this doll, it’s been a tug of war against biology and lifelong disability- a stroke in utero, resulting in cerebral palsy, later on drug resistant epilepsy, and a half dozen genetic conditions that ultimately presented with a body that fluctuates between being the smartest person in the company, to being bedridden back and forth, a never ending cycle.

There is the concept in nlp of a double bind, or dual expectations, where one is forced to choose, without ever being giving the choice at all, for choice was always an illusion. This is more or less what eventually led us to walk down this road. We were forced to choose between health and career, and lost both, along with nearly our life a few years ago. Now with a genetic clock ticking time off, it is expected we won’t live much past four years…after all we should be dead right now many times over, and the top minds in multiple fields cannot explain how we exist, are functional. Every month we hear “yeah that shouldn’t be medically or scientifically possible…and wasn’t until you walked into the office”

I suspect many of those interesting in dumbing down have experienced deep psychic pain, possibly emotionally and psychological issues, and yes, even physical issues. I’m here to say that, according to some scientific literature, your not crazy or mentally I’ll because of these experiences, even if unable to be fully unexplained at this moment in history. The pain and cost of “being gifted” is real. Perhaps it’s time we acknowledged this, and stopping envying Genius. And perhaps we should not be so quick to dismiss or judge those who want to dumb down, even our own community.

For some of us, intelligence can be more harmful to our well being than helpful. I imagine most find a balance, but from personal experience intelligence is not something you can simply “stop” due to the nature of the mind, how the brain is wired. It can be difficult to use it only as a tool, because from a neurological standpoint, it’s our default mode.

We often describe intelligence and intellectual pursuits as a drug we are addicted to. There is a certain high one gets from learning something new, making disparate connections, and the accomplishment of seeing the world, this puzzle called reality in more complex detail and nuance. And yet with that comes all the costs of doing so. If you’re reading this and are interested in dumbing down for dumbing down sake, you likely have felt this on some level, even if the words, the terms have escaped you.

For you, and everyone else that stumble across this blog I want to leave you with some resources to deep dive into, if you so desire. C’mon you know your curious!

-Doll- Echo

[canardsnasunoise]

Babby Writer pls help

So, i'm pretty knew to fanfic writing in any sort of published way, and I rather desperately need like a Beta for my fic. prefereably one who likes Worm, Type Moon, or both, but honestly I just really need help making this suck less.

[wilteddreamsofbaldursgate]

I’m a fierce believer and defender of Smooth Brain Astarion (affectionate).

I love that, if left to his own devices, he ends up dead in a ditch. I love that this pasty menace of an elf is a walking disaster. I love that his brain produces one coherent thought per day, only to have it backfire on him later on. I love that his first choice in freedom is to unapologetically be the worst version of himself. Because it makes sense. 

That’s what abuse and trauma do to your brain—they fuck with it. 

And in Astarion’s defence, the man didn’t have to use his brain for nearly 200 years—it’s probably the very thing that kept him as alive as he can be; to survive 200 years of pure shit. 

And what use is his brain when his days and nights are dictated by someone else for as long as he can remember? When he has no say in what clothes he wears. When he doesn’t get to choose what or when to eat. When his body and mind aren’t his own, distorted by torture and hunger and self-loathing, forced to obey his vampiric master. Why use his brain when his survival depends exclusively on his abuser’s whims? 

Astarion could’ve come up with the most brilliant plan possible to escape Cazador or save a mark from their doom, but he never stood a chance of succeeding—which doesn’t mean that he didn’t get punished for trying (or even thinking about it) anyway.

Existing under Cazador was a game he couldn’t win, so why bother playing? 

And it’s only by chance that Astarion’s autonomy is returned to him literally overnight. It’s only natural that he’s overwhelmed by his newfound freedom. How is he expected to make sound decisions when he can’t even recall a time when he could do and say as he pleased? 

Of course Astarion is a walking disaster when he finds himself on that beach after the Nautiloid crash—and he’s fully aware of that! That’s why it’s so crucial for him to get on the player’s/other companion’s good side.

He’s self-aware enough to be so insecure about himself that he would rather trust a stranger’s capabilities than his own. 

Being a catastrophe of a person is part of Astarion’s character journey. Not only does he have to reclaim his personhood, he has to learn how to depend on his own brain again and I think that's such a painfully beautiful, important message Baldur’s Gate 3 sends. 

Because healing isn’t pretty. Nor is it easy.

You’re not alright the moment you’re free of whatever horrors you had to live through—and that’s ok! There’s time and room for you to adjust. 

And the moment Astarion feels more or less safe within his new environment, when he’s fed and treated like a person worthy of respect and consideration, his insights, skills and perception are crucial assets to the group.

Astarion knows his art and literature, and although his little remarks are unhinged at times, he's genuinely witty. Even his objections are, considering the circumstances, absolutely legitimate.

Personally, I love seeing Smooth Brain Astarion become more and more secure in his judgement the more Tav/other companions trust and support him.

Astarion is smart, his brain’s just been stewed for nearly 200 years.

[marimosalad]

Batstarion doing Astarion things