#brandon sure is confusing his metaphors

[batfamiliar]

so im watching season 2 bc the last time i watched it was literally 10 years ago and there's this bit where some princess forces brandon to marry her. they drag brandon to the wedding and he's like "i'm doomed, i'll never see the sun again". and i was like, oh because the kingdom is underground, but also bc stella is his sun, gotcha

except

then they do a brief flashback and show you this

so apparently sky is brandon's sun and also sky is trans????

[xxgothchatonxx]

I am so excited to see Luke Brandon Field as Daniel Molloy next season.

I think Daniel Molloy is a great character. The whole idea of a human character willingly wanting to be a vampire and being subjected to a horrific, self-destructive lifestyle as a result of that desire that is never fulfilled until he is literally dying because of it (yup, metaphor for drug addiction) is just so horrifying but so well-written in the books.

And the fact that we're FINALLY getting to see his story with Armand be portrayed on-screen is both exciting and dread-inducing in the best possible ways. It's exciting because this will be the first time this story has been adapted. It wasn't included in the '94 film (well, duh, it was just about 'IWTV') and the QOTD film just completely erased Daniel's existence (another queer plot bites the dust...) so I am so relieved that we're finally getting this hauntingly beautiful insanely fucked up vampire-human romance story. Because it truly is a fucked up romance. And I have no doubt that the show will do this story justice. Sure, show how Daniel made the wrong choice with his desire to be a vampire BUT also show how selfish Armand is for putting him through all that. Because yes, Armand does love him and he does have a point that vampirism is a curse etc., but he's incredibly selfish for not just letting Daniel go... EXCEPT in this show he did eventually let Daniel go... but now Daniel's back- jeez, this season's going to be completely chock-full of drama, huh?

So, this show's version of 'Devil's Minion' is clearly more extended than the book's version, but I'm really excited to see how it all plays out. And I'm so excited to see how Luke portrays this version of Daniel. I hope to see a lot of love, delirium, comfort, anger, confusion, exhaustion, and heartbreak.

It's going to be very uncomfortable to watch, but I reckon he (and Assad, Jacob and whoever's playing Alice) is going to deliver an incredible performance.

[weirdcat1213]

YEY THE HORRORS i mean YEY THE BOOKCLUB :D

thoughts on volume 6 (oh boi we're almost halfway someone hold me pls)

chap 1:

-OH MY GOD ITS HIM I FORGOT ABOUT HIM FOR A MOMENT (not in general, ik he's in 98)

-HEY HIS WINGS MAY BE CREEPY BUT THEYRE ALSO BEAUTIFUL TO ME >:[

-HOWEVER i love how yeah they are scared af but also get that vash as a person is not bad and they don't leave his side

-WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YOUR BF LIKE THAT STOP STOP STOOOOOP. IDC THAT HE IS A LITERAL LASER CANON HES STILL JUST A LITTLE GUY

-are we...supposed to notice how bad the state of the gun is or...?

-nono brandon is right, i would also not give good guns to cops

-vash i fucking swear-

-SHUT UP YOU FUCKING COP >:[

-BRO WTF

-YEAH BRANDON CALL HIM OUT

-MY FAVORITE WEIRD CREATURE IS HERE

-ok in my 1st read didnt get that, idk why but i was confused about meryl getting worried for some reason. but she has a (sad) point. will one day the ptsd related to violence and guns be enough to make vash not shoot his gun? shes asking an interesting question. shes literally asking how much can vash take imo.

-wait so...was the replacement gun...the one in stampede??? (i will compare them later)

-DONT LOOK AT ME WITH THOSE GENTLE EYES MAN CMON

-I didnt notice he took the punisher lmao

chap 2:

-:c wolfwood having nightmares its not even a hc, IT IS CANON

-NOT THE FLASHBACK OF VASH CRYING BLOOD OUCH NO PLS NO

-:c im not even mad at wolfwood calling vash a monster cuz it must be fucking TERRIFYING but it still hurts :c

-you could...but youre not gonna

-"so yeah you cant be there for every problem in the pla- HOLD UP WHERE ARE YOU GOING"

-lmao meryl is like me fr

-this time i got most of the fight but i think we can all agree the mpv was the table

chap 3

-YEY LEGATO IN THE.....metal handbag?

-YES ELENDIRA FUCKING READ HIM

-OH MY GOD HES HERE HES HERE OH GOD NO

-i remember i was so confused i didnt realize THATS HIS FUCKING TONGUE

-also did double fang kill trail of death?

chap 4:

-OH I LOVE THIS SCENE SM. i also hate walking in a place with a shit ton of people

-YES IT IS BABY, THATS THE SAME CHILD YOU [so so redacted] WOOOOOOOOO (i love this chapter)

-oh...yeah that...oh

-"we cant survive without her power, neither can you" dude...dont...just dont

-ah yes. the hair. yeap. just a cool artistic decision. yeap.

-also i forgot how fucked up the last run was here

-oh he felt it, i saw that in his eye

-oh so he also went apeshit....ohhhhh. ok so if vash went apeshit cuz of a physical fight or flight reaction (I THINK) did knives go apeshit cuz of hate? the physical need to kill people in revenge? nice

-BRO WDYM "why not just end this crusade?" YOU JUST SAW WHY HE WOULD NEVER END IT

-oh that was his last straw. one thing is him being tricked by a human but that lie affecting his brother? the one thing he's trying to protect (yes ik he's not doing the greatest job at it) from humans? yeah no you gotta die

chap 5:

-NO. NO. NONONONONONON NOT THIS CHAPTER NO

-I HATE THE METAPHOR ALREADY (i love it. i want to yell at nightow my thoughts about it. i will never be normal about it)

-pls no. im begging you. pls dont make me read this again. this is when my sanity starts to break into little raggedy pieces of paper

-i just notices this change happens cuz he got HIS MEMORIES BACK WHAT IF I ENDED IT ALL

-i dont want to read anymore

-its just. so fucking hard. like ik we say hes jesus. but at the same time jesus never felt like that. jesus was born without sin but in vash's eyes he is full of sins and no one can forgive him. bro, honey, god would forgive you anything. you are his favorite im sure. but no matter the arguments for the allegory vash can never be jesus cuz he carries the pain of his "sins" everyday PLUS THE ONES FROM THE HUMANS. idk. im sad and tired. my baby. its ok i forgive you. and im sure rem forgives him. im sure. im sad

-anyway, back to the kinda normal thoughts

-also i think vash thinking he has to forgive himself is kinda flawed. like instead of forgiveness he has to accept what happened and i think those are different things. ofc yeah july was messed up but he never intended to do it. idk

-ANYWAY

-huh, those speakers look like eyes

-cant even swallow in misery in peace anymore lmao

-:c not the day drinking

-i think thats vash talking but yeah....nothing is easy for my guy. hes kinda right, better than crying ig...

-i prefer spike-isms but i will also take needle noggin-isms thank u

-that man can move in such unnatural ways *hears the uncanny vash people cheer at a distance*

-oof, the ptsd got meryl

-also the question is not whether vash was going to take the bullet or not, the real question is how hard does that question makes me cry

- SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUP

-OOF, i mean i 100% get meryl but OOF

-also YES THATS WHAT I FUCKING MEAN. AND I READ THIS ON [redacted] A FEW WEEKS AGO. THE BALANCE BETWEEN EXTREMES ITS JUST NULL, ITS NOT A COLOR AT ALL. his love and faith in humanity vs the pain they cause him...that balance creates a colorless emotion and IM SAD ABOUT IT.

-i hate that final page. i fucking hate milly protecting meryl from her memories while comforting her while protecting her from the rocks, i hate the people still insult vash even when he was long gone, i hate to see the children who saw the same thing as their parents try to convince them to stop because they know vash would never hurt people on purpose only to be ignored..and more than anything i hate vash apologizing for something he has no control over.

-ALSO I ALSO FEEL LIKE CRYING VASH-

[let it be on the record that i needed a minute to continue with the volume]

chap 6:

-OH NO IT STARTS

-"how could i have known?" youre telling me you spent years studying yourself and other plants and never saw one with black hair? really? (im not saying its a plot hole, im saying he was too distracted being a dick)

-so that was his imagination im assuming

-TESLA MENTION WE WIN

-OH GOD OH NO PLS GET ME OUT OF HERE NO PLS NOT THIS

-i love her dialogue with the funny glasses lmao, she really was the only mom ever

-oh..here come the tears

-oh right..they used to be like this

-oh...oh god

[danniburgh]

Morning Delight (Javier Peña x f!reader)

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader

Summary: You have a boyfriend and he’s really great, but Javier Peña is selfish and he’s jealous and he wants you all for him.

Word count: +2.1k

Warnings: well; smut, (p in v), fingering, spitting (just a bit), unprotected sex, (please wear condoms) 1 degrading word (sl*t), infidelity (not condoning it), me trying to make terrible metaphors, 

A/N: i got an ask and while writing what was supposed to be a small drabble it grew and well now we are here, writing a os when i have 4 waiting in line to be written :) (bold phrases are the asked prompts)

Masterlist // Read on ao3 // ko-fi

comments and reblogs are eternally appreciated 💓

“Hello, gorgeous,” Brandon, your boyfriend, allowed himself into the office you shared with your partners, the three of you lifted your heads to see him and you gave him a smile, he was standing in front of your desk holding a paper bag and a carton cup “brought you breakfast,”

“You shouldn’t have, baby,” you received the food from him and he leaned down to give you a short kiss, “thank you,” you muttered and he wrinkled his nose.

“See you for lunch?” he asked you softly and you nodded. He then walked out giving you a last glance and winking through the open door.

You could feel the stares of your partners, one of them heavier than the other, you looked at Steve and he had a teasing smirk adorning his face. You rolled your eyes and tossed him the paper bag, he quickly caught it and without hesitating opened it and rummaged around it, then you looked at Javier, sitting across the room from you and noticed the deep frown that made his face quirk and his brown eyes harden, locking his gaze on yours. He said nothing to you nor to Steve when he passed the bag to him.

Steve cleared his throat absentmindedly from his desk and kept on taping while eating and you broke eye contact (or stare contest) with Javier, returning to do what you were doing.

Soon enough you finished all your reports and you stood up to return some of them to the records room, when you entered and were about to close the door a foot got in between it and the frame to stop it from closing, the sudden action startled you and before your brain could fully comprehend what was going on the door opened, Javier got inside the room and closed the door, locking it.

“What the hell are you doing?” he asked under his breath, you frowned,

“What?”

“Don’t play fool, baby,” he stepped closer to you, and when you were about to tell him, yet again, to not call you that, he spoke again “what do you think you’re doing kissing that boy like that in the office?” you snorted.

“What?” you couldn’t stop yourself from laughing “who do you think you are?” the rhetoric made Javier’s jaw clench and he gave another step closer to you, towering over your body, you looked at his hardened face and at his dilated pupils, you sighed at the way his body warmth was just starting to mingle with yours “wait, are you jealous?” you questioned with a smirk “really?”

His chest puffed as he filled it with air and deflated when he let it out, almost blowing on your face, he was so close you could feel the way his body was reacting to you and the way you were looking at him. Then Javier licked his lips and you knew exactly what that meant.

“Don’t,” you whispered, it was his turn to smirk to you “don’t you dare,” 

“C’mon, chiquita,” Javier let his hand stationed on your hip as he made you get impossibly closer to him, pressing you against his body “’s not like it would be our first time,” 

“My boyfriend would kill us,” you warned, actually worried, you liked Brandon, you really did, he was different than Javier and for you that was an excellent thing; Brandon wasn’t afraid of tell you what he wanted or how he felt, he was a fantastic listener, he was funny and charismatic in the sense that you would ask him for directions on the street if you were lost, he was cute and sweet and someone you could see yourself dating for a long time. But Javier... Javier had you wrapped around his finger since the first time he had laid eyes on you, since he had touched you, since his hands made your skin feel like burning from the inside out, since his kisses lingered on your body for days.

“That boy won’t do shit, even if he finds out,” his tone dropped an octave and his other hand landed on the small of your back just above the hem of your blazer and the waistband of your skirt and you instantly became putty under his touch. 

“Fuck,” your voice was so low it could had been confused for a soft sigh, and as your body warmed up against Javier’s hands, his mouth trapped yours and started devouring it.

Javier’s kiss in the past had been hardly soft, some of them were cautious, some were firm, you weren’t expecting anything gentle, but the way he was kissing you was unprecedented for you, he was moving against your lips as if he wanted to absorb your every thought, as if he wanted to be your main source of oxygen, as if he wanted to breathe you in and never breathe you out. Javier’s hands slipped down your blazer and your blouse and he started massaging your breasts over the soft cloth of your bra.

“Why is that boy so special? huh?” he muttered against the skin of your jaw as he nibbled it and down your neck, your hands could barely respond to your brain, curling around his neck, playing with the hair of his nape as you knew he liked, forgetting everything about Brandon and about the place you were at the moment, the only thing that invaded your mind was Javier and his smell of coffee, cigarette smoke, the aftershave he put on in the morning and how much you fucking missed his rough touch. “what does he do to you that you let him kiss you in front of everyone?” his voice was rough and low and it sounded like a feral grumble and it made you moan, one of his hands slid from your chest to your thigh over your skirt and then slowly moved upwards, lifting it. Jesus Christ, he was doing it so slow you were sure your skin would scream against his touch if it could.

“He–he,” you tried to say, he cut your sentence before it could really start when he kissed you again, this time rougher, formless, just two mouths moving against each other as his hand under your skirt played with the hem of your panties and slowly, painfully slow, moved inside of it to your mound. Your skin was on fire, you were sure you were about to combust right then and there. “Javi–” his finger played with your clit and you felt your knees weaken, he tightened the grip on your back and he started circling the bundle of nerves leisurely “more” you begged and you could feel his smirk on your skin.

“What was that?” he teased, adding another finger to his ministrations, pressing against your clit almost achingly, he knew you, he knew you so damn well.

“More, Javi, more,” you said and brought yourself back to his mouth, licking his lips, his circling went faster and you smiled contently against his kiss.

“Has he ever touched you like this, chiquita?” he asked under his breath and you shook your head as he dragged his fingers through your slit and into your cunt “has he ever made you this wet?”

“Oh, oh sh–shit, Javi,” you moaned and he bit your lower lip and moved back to your neck, his fingers curled inside you and he already knew where exactly to press to make you come undone on his hand, the heel of his palm pressed your clit and his fingers stretched you so deliciously it was really a wonder why you two had stopped fucking. “god, Brandon could never,” you mumbled as you bit his shoulder over his jacket, he bit your neck when you mentioned your boyfriend’s name and that was the last drop, your orgasm hit your belly and made your legs shake, you bit his jacket harder to muffle your moan as he helped you ride down your climax.

“C’mere,” he removed his hand from your panties and you whined softly at the loss of his touch, Javier pulled you from the center of the room to stand in front one foggy, yellowy window that barely allowed any light into the room “turn around,” he said, it wasn’t an order, he wasn’t like that, but in the heat of the moment he said things with such authority you barely contradicted him, you did and then realized what he wanted to do.

“Against the window? are you insane?” you frowned, and he gave you a hooded-eyed smile.

“You know me, baby, pull your panties off,” you saw him unbuckle his belt and unbutton his pants and with a teasing roll of your eyes you did. There had been a long time since you fucked in that room at all, Brandon found it too risky, but not your Javier Peña, for him this was delightful. You slid your skirt up and let it crumple around your waist “that’s my good girl, so fucking ready for me to fuck her,” Javier didn’t waste anytime and rolled down your panties, he gently kicked your feet to separate your legs and you leaned down as far as your surroundings allowed you. You felt his hands grip your hips, and you got ready for him to slide in when instead you felt his tongue flattening against your soaked folds.

“Shit,” you whimpered and dropped your head back, curving your back and pressing your pussy against his face, god he shouldn’t really be doing that, you were gone far too long already. The sudden moment of clarity soon went to shit when he spit on your pussy and stood up and with practiced dexterity he slid his cock inside you. You let out a small whimper as he stayed still for a few seconds and rounded his arm around your waist for leverage. 

“I want you to scream my name, baby,” he whispered in your ear and you shivered under him, he started pounding into you and making your mouth produce the most dirty sounds you thought it could ever produce, “c’mon, preciosa, fucking scream,” you shook your head as he slid his hand under your blouse and bra and played as he could with your nipple, your moans and gasps grew louder and you tried, really tried to muffle your noises, you tried to bring your hand to your mouth but Javier nimbly moved the arm that embraced you and trapped both your hands with it, angling his hips to hit inside you harder and rougher, you moaned again, “louder, I want Brandon to hear you,” your breath hitched as you remembered your boyfriend and Javier chuckled behind you, thrusting into your cunt faster as he could “I want him to hear how his dear girl likes to be fucked,”

“Javi–Javier, I’m so close,” you clenched around him and he let out a small groan “more, more, I’m almost there,” you demanded, pressing your hips against his as he hit the small spot inside you that made your eyes roll inside your head.

“So fucking greedy, baby,” he said through gritted teeth, you felt his warm tongue licking the shell of your ear and you moaned again “what would people say if they knew you were such a slut for me?” Javier whispered in your ear and then bit your lobe, taking you to the edge and then dropping you off the cliff, you drowned the scream that was rising in your chest and instead let out a growl that made you sound like a feral creature which at the moment you pretty much were. Javier felt your walls clench around him, making it almost impossible to keep thrusting into you and it drove him off the cliff as well, cuming inside you and filling you with a familiar warm thickness.

The room was silent for a few seconds, as you were trying to recover from the orgasms you just had pulled out of each other. Then it filled with your panting and the ruffling of your clothes being straightened and put back where they were before that… slip.

“Shit,” you mumbled as Javier helped you button your blazer “we really shouldn’t have done this,” your eyes dropped to the floor, Javier said nothing for a few seconds, he stared at you, as if studying you, as if he was trying to bring himself to say something.

“Break up with him,” he spat, you frowned and looked at him in pure disbelief, who did he think he was? “I want you for me,” your frown only deepened, he for the first time since he had been your partner left you speechless “fuck, I get so jealous when I see you with that… with him,” he mumbled and you saw him actually doubt himself, “I think… I think I’m in love with you”

“Oh, fuck me,” you let out, amazed and happy that he had told you the words you were waiting to hear from him since god-knows-when. And sad and angry that you had to break Brandon’s heart like that.

“I think I just did,”

[kinsey3furry300]

A very confused Star Wars Fan desperately tries to justify their belief that “Caravan of Courage” shows the way forward for the franchise. No, really.

Ever since I was a little kid, I’ve loved Star Wars. And I mean, all of it. The books, the games, the Lego, the spin-offs: I even enjoy the Holiday Special in a The Room so-bad-you-just-need-to-see-it sort of way.  But particularly the films. But here is when we run into the big problem: I’m just the wrong age. The original trilogy launched before I was born, the prequel trilogy hit cinemas when I was already a teen and while I went and saw them and enjoyed them, I was at that age where I was self-conscious about seeing a “kids” film, and hyper-aware of how silly and cringy those films were in parts. So my indoctrination, my inoculation with the Star Wars bug didn’t happen in the cinema, and it didn’t happen with any of the main franchise works. It happened on home video, on a skiing trip in the French Alps in the early 90’s. I’d have been about 6, and this was the first time I’d ever been abroad other than to see relatives in Ireland.  And I loved it: to this day I love skiing, but more than that, I have very, very fond childhood memories of this trip. This was shortly before I lost my biological mother to cancer, she’d have received her diagnosis just after we got back from the trip. This was when my younger sister stopped being an annoying screaming thing and became and became an actual person I could talk and play and share ideas with, this was before the combination my mothers long illness and my father having just launched his own IT start up meant I didn’t see him or her any more, despite the fact they were in the same house as me. This was this wonderful, nostalgic child-hood bubble when my family was intact, and nothing could ever go wrong. I skied all day with mum and dad, and would come back to the chalet in the evening. It was an English speaking chalet, I met my first real-life American there, and having grown up in the 90’s in the UK nothing was cooler than making friends with an actual American my own age. He had a hulk Hogan action figure with springs in the legs so if you put him on a hard surface and punched his head down, when you let go he’d jump really high in the air. We used to play with it together in the bath, back in that weird 90’s time-bubble when it was possible to convince two sets of parents that this kid you’d just met was you best friend in the world and of course shared bath time was, somehow, normal and appropriate. And fresh from bath time, tired from the day, the parents would give us some hot coco, dump us kids in front of the tv and grab the first shitty low-budget VHS they could find to keep us distracted while they went to the bar. In this particular time, in this particular place, that shitty low budget cartoon was the  complete set of the 1985 Lucasfilm/ABC Ewoks cartoon, plus the two spin off movies, and to this day that cheap, kitschy, kind of bad series has a special warm and cosy place in my heart. I remember being enthralled by the world, in love with the characters, applied by the bad guys and the injustice they caused (to this day I’m still irate about that time Wicket lost his set of beads documenting his progress towards becoming a full warrior and the older Ewoks basically said, tough, you need to re-earn all those merit badges from scratch. This struck me as exactly the sort of bullshit an adult would pull, and pissed me off) and on tenterhooks about what would happen to the characters.

It was also, by a coincidence, the first ever Star Wars media I was exposed to, and the above combination of events probably explains a lot about me.

So I was surprised, the other day, when scrolling Disney+, to find they’d added Caravan of Courage AND Battle for Endor to the roster in my region. Surely Disney wouldn’t want their slick, cool brand associated with this old trash? Surely there could be no place for this in the post-Mandalorian Star Wars cannon? Surely this is a horrible mistake some intern made, right?

Unless…. What if I’ve miss-remembered? What if it’s not just rose-tinted nostalgia goggles, and it’s, in fact, secretly really, really good?

I rushed to my comfy chair, got a blanket, dimmed the lights, made some coco (with rum in it, because why the hell not?) and sat down to re-examine this lost gem.

And wow: it’s every bit as shit as you’d expect.

It has aged exactly as poorly as you’d expect a cheap, mid 80’s direct to video spin-off to age. Caravan of Courage? More like Caravan of Garbage, am I right?

And yet… I still enjoyed every moment.

And it was sitting there, in my pyjamas, watching a cheaply made direct to video cash-grab from just before I was born, seeing it again for the first time in nearly 30 years, and I realised something.

It doesn’t really matter if this film is bad, so long as I enjoy it. And if it doesn’t really mater if this is bad, then I, like many Star Wars fans, wasted a huge amount of time and emotional effort on being butthurt about stuff I didn’t like about the Rise of Skywalker and it’s ilk. Because somewhere, right now, a tired and frustrated parent is putting Disney+ on to keep their kids quiet for two hours. And they won’t think too hard about what they put on, so long as it keeps little Timmy busy for a bit. Somewhere, right now, a kid is watching Rise of Skywalker, and it’s the first Star Wars media they’ve ever seen.

And that’s okay. Because we don’t know what that kids home life is like. We don’t know if it’s good or bad. Maybe it’s great, maybe it’s about to take a dramatic plunge like mine did, and this moment here will be the cosy, warm memory they look back on in 30 years time, and that’s beautiful.  They’re getting introduced to a fun, wonderful fantasy world that could be with them all their lives, through good times and bad, and as fans we should be happy about that.

Star Wars will never, die: it’s too darn profitable, Disney will never let it. And while I hope they learn from their mistakes and make sure every future Star Wars is a timeless gem of story-telling, statistically, if you keep making enough films, some of them will be bad. And while I’d like them all to be great, it’s still okay if they’re bad.

Because nothing can take away my memories of that week in that chalet. Nothing can take-away my memories of when they put the original trilogy on in cinemas for the special edition and I had my jaw hit the floor with how good it was on the big screen, not knowing or caring who shot first. Nothing can take away you memories of the Original Trilogy, the Prequels, or the Clone Wars. Nothing can tarnish the bits of the sequil trilogy that you like, and there are good bits in there.

But wait, what about continuity? What about the sacred, perfect written time-line that used to exist?

Well, what about it? Have you seen any other big, epic fantasy universe before? They’re all a mess. A work of fiction, particularly fantasy, can be extensive, or tightly written, but not both. Harry Potter is only seven books, and the last two feel, tonally, like they’re from an entirely different series. I love them, but the grim-dark kicked in so fast you’ll get whiplash. The Hobbit is a perfect written self-contained novel, and LOTR is *The* big boy high-fantasy trilogy: fast forward 50 years, and Christopher Tolkien is desperately squeezing every last drop of money out of his father’s corpse by finishing and publishing every unfinished note JRR ever wrote right down to his shopping lists. Even Dune goes of the rails with sequels. I can only think of four fantasy works that are both extensive and consistently tightly written, Song of Ice and Fire, Wheel of Time, Malazan: Book of the Fallen and Brandon Sanderson’s Cosmere universe. And even then, the prequels and spin-offs mess with the timelines: the Dunk and Egg novella’s change some character’s canonical ages and timelines, Wheel of Time was going slowly off the rails even before the Jordan died, Forge of Darkness made what was a good metaphor for the creation of it’s world into a literal war deep in the past, and Sanderson’s first Novel Elantris got a re-write to bring it more in line with the rest of the shared universe. The MCU, oft held up as the modern example of tightly planned, well thought out ongoing storytelling, is a lie: it was never as pre-planned out as Disney wants us to think; the first Iron Man, apparently, barely had a script, with Downey ad-lib-ing most of his scenes. None of the MCU films are direct sequels to each-other other than Infinity war and Endgame. There are three Iron Man films, and Three Thor films, and none continue an ongoing story line across multiple films, and the Cap films barely continue an arc, but only where Cap’s relationship with Natasha and Bucky is involved.  Much like these, Star War’s cannon is a complete, nightmarish, confusing, tangled, illogical mess. And it has been since 1984, as Caravan of Courage proves. It was never consistent and well planned.

And that’s okay.

I used to care about plot holes. I used to care about which works were cannon in Star Wars lore. I’m over that now. I’m happy to imagine the books, films and games not as a blow-by-blow historical account of a galaxy far far away, but as campfire stories from within this fun, imaginative world that we’re all invited to listen to. Stories that are in-universe myth and folklore, that we can all snuggle up and listen to while drinking highly alcoholic rum and remembering better times, knowing that wherever the future throws at us, no matter how the world goes to hell around us, we’ll still have the memories, and the ability to make our own new stories in the wonderful Star Wars world we all share.

And that’s okay. No, more than that: that’s beautiful.

Also Star Wars is completely unambiguous on the fact we’re allowed to kill fascists no matter how many times they keep coming back with a new logo, so that’s timely I guess.

So, there’s my hot take two-years after everyone else stopped caring about this stuff, as per bloody usual. Tell me why I’m wrong below, and does anyone else have any truly awful spin-off shows that they kind of have a nostalgic soft spot for?

[darkpoisonouslove]

Winx Club Season 3 Thoughts (4kids) Part 2

Picking back up from where we left off - 3x14. Part 1 here.

Warning for some heavy anti Bloom stuff. I don’t normally let these get hateful but I just cannot anymore and this is my own rewatch and my own opinion. You can just not read it if you think you don’t want to or you don’t need the negativity. And there is some of that just in general as well and not only in regards to Bloom. (This also gets pretty angry with Valtor in the last few episodes because he’s been getting on my nerves.)

3x14:

- Well, I’m crying too. I know Tecna will be fine but seeing Winx so heartbroken is making me weep along with them. And what they said about wishing they’d laughed more at her jokes was particularly hard to swallow. Now I am genuinely upset, too.

- Aww, Riven is trying to be a good friend (even if he keeps insisting Tecna’s gone). And Timmy saying he can feel her presence is just some next level romantic shit considering his thing (and Tecna’s) has always been technology. He’s throwing logic out the window for his girl and I am ready to cry all over again just for that.

- Did they think of not being friends anymore? I know it feels wrong without Tecna but being together would have surely been better than breaking apart that friendship. And Tecna wouldn’t have wanted that from them.

- Oppositus is just hilarious. “Part sunny and part rainy. Hot and cold.” Well, that’s the perfect weather. Everyone will get what they want at one point or another.

- At least Faragonda and Griselda thought of monitoring the girls. Not that they’re doing such a great job of it but that’s another thing.

- That scene with Stormy getting spelled with Oppositus is really getting on my nerves but in a kind of calm way. It’s like it’s not making me mad but I really don’t like it so I am just sitting through it with a pained smile. I just wish Icy and Darcy would be a bit more supportive. (Also, Stella got spelled with Oppositus in season 1 as well so he’s not really showing them anything that special.)

- Didn’t they establish that the witches were hypnotized and doing whatever Valtor wanted. Why did they think that they wouldn’t be brainwashed all of a sudden? What? Did they think Valtor would give them a break for the day? And of course, let’s just barge into Cloud Tower with no plan of attack and no advantage of taking him by surprise. Fucking spectacular. Also, they couldn’t defeat him when Tecna was with them last time and all six of them fought him together. Why do they think they can take him down now? Yes, Flora got her Enchantix since then but they’re down with one member and Valtor has stolen new spells. They don’t stand a chance.

- I love how Valtor is messing with them. It’s obvious that he can defend himself against Bloom’s blasts but he wanted to get her mad to get her to use her full power and destroy her with Oppositus. And trapping Musa and Flora into what they hate the most is pretty horrible but I am kinda amused. (However, since he is pretty much using their opposites, for the longest time I thought he spelled the two of them with Oppositus too but he didn’t.)

- Rock cannibals of the dark dimension? Damn, I really wanna see that!

- Oritel has magic? I am pretty sure Valtor was lying about that considering that he was lying about everything else. And admitting that he couldn’t have defeated Oritel without a deception? That doesn’t sound like something Valtor would say. Gotta hand it to him, though, that was a pretty good plan he had for getting rid of Bloom.

- Aww, Griffin thinking so fondly of Faragonda even though she’s talking about a time when Faragonda was stronger than her. That is so cute.

- Why wasn’t Stormy at least a bit mad about what Valtor did to her?

- The Detention Dimension is such a fun concept. I love it! (I’m not loving the fact that I just got a second fic idea from this episode, though.)

- At least they figured out that the girls escaped. Otherwise, they would have said bye-bye to Bloom as well. And yay, for the Company of Light being back into action (”There’s just something about Valtor that makes everyone want to give him payback” XD (I think the Company is not over what happened 17 years ago either)) and everything but that “power pose” they’re striking is just so lame.

- Doing a dragon head thing with their hands to summon a protective shield is such a cool idea. Though, it did took me a while to figure out what was going on. It was only after seeing that Saladin was using his staff with the dragon head instead of doing the hand gesture that I figured out what they were actually doing there.

- The deception spell Darcy used was cool but shouldn’t there be some magic to the Detention Dimension that prevents that? Or was the logic that if they can pull such a spell off, then they are free to go because obviously they’re good at being witches?

- Valtor did take damage from Bloom’s fire but that was her full might there and it barely fazed him for a few moments. That Enchantix of hers must be really powerful for her to be so much stronger in later episodes. Or, once again, the writers just simply don’t know what they’re doing and can’t measure up their powers in a normal way. Poor Darcy, though. She thought he was angry at them for using the deception spell.

3x15:

- Ugh, I hate the Pyros arc.

- Thank god Sky missed Bloom. I am so not in the mood for them. But hey, Brandon is back, too! After being locked up like some criminal. Okay, but Sky said that Diaspro was banished from Eraklyon and we wouldn’t see her again. So why do we see her again several times in following seasons?

- I was gonna say that Pyros wasn’t so bad but... yeah, it’s... pretty bad. That shot of Bloom right before she blasted that dragon from underwater is so cool, though! (I kinda feel like she should be on better terms with dragons, though. You know, because of the Dragon Fire. Or does that just annoy them more? Looks like option B in this case.)

- Look at Riven running from emotions like it’s the plague! And Brandon has his own girlfriend and the consequences of staying out with her to deal with. But at least Sky is back to being helpful now that he’s not spelled anymore.

- Since when can’t Valtor shapeshift? He did turn into a deer in 3x10. That is shapeshifting. God, this show is so annoying with its lack of continuity. I reconsidered this and okay, I can see how his shapeshifting was limited to only animate things. And he needed to turn into a lightning which is different. I admit I was slightly but not completely wrong because it is incorrect that he can’t shapeshift. He can, just not to the degree that he needs.

- I see it’s time for Darcy to be the “favorite one”. He’s playing them so hard and Icy and Darcy are so falling for it. I totally agree with Stormy that they’re throwing themselves at him for attention.

- Stormy: I’m over him. Me: Good for her!

- Daphne! It’s been so long. I wish we’d seen more of her. Even though they dragged her into that stupidity about the dragon. Also, how is Bloom supposed to become stronger if she doesn’t know what to do? I feel her confusion (which I really hate to admit but I do).

- “If a monkey falls in a fountain, does it make a sound?” I. AM. SCREECHING!

- Oof, the maneuver with the coat was so smooth! And we saw him fight more physically! And get knocked face first into the ground! XD

- Timmy counted Tecna’s freckles? Talk about precision. XD But aww, Tecna laughed at his jokes because she knew what it’s like when no one laughed at hers. *sob* They are so cute!

- Walk like a dragon? Seriously? That is so ridiculous.

- Oh, thank god. For a moment I thought they were gonna make her eat bugs.

- I’m with Darcy. I like Valtor when he’s so chill in the middle of his chaotic energy. But the bracelet? To protect her from negative energy? Isn’t giving a witch a charm that wards off negative energy the same as casting a protective spell over Cloud Tower? Which he mocked in 3x10. And the shapeshifting thing is still stupid but damn! Turning into lightning? That is FUCKING AWESOME! I WANNA!!!!!!

- Oof, Bloom summoned the Dragon Fire from inside her? Okay, that was cool. Also, interesting that both Bloom and Valtor had major power-ups in this episode.

- Really? Timmy fell asleep just as he made contact with Tecna? Come on!

- That was her dragon all along? I thought we were talking metaphorically about her inner dragon. Why does this show always have to be so literal and lame? Not to mention redundant. This is the same stupidity from back in season 1 when her power was inside her all along and they sent her a whole bunch of places to “find” it.

3x16:

- Omg. Timmy found Tecna! And Brandon and Sky are both so happy about it and so proud of him! Not to mention already gearing up to go and save her even though it is the middle of the night! This scene is so adorable, I love it!

- Woah, what happened to Valtor’s eyes? Was that the demon in him showing up?

- I actually really like that scene with Stella and Sky and Riven talking. It’s nice to see Winx interact with Specialists that aren’t their boyfriends when their boyfriends aren’t around. Sells the whole friend group vibe. And them cheering each other on was really cute.

- Okay, this scene with Bloom is not only pointless, but also stupid. She can fly! She doesn’t need to jump from stone to stone and even if she loses her balance, she won’t fall because she can fucking fly! This is so stupid and not at all dramatic or suspenseful. What’s your excuse for this, writers? Also, where’s her stupid dragon? What? Did she hallucinate her own inner dragon and saw it outside of her the whole time?

- Aww, Timmy just wants to have his girl back and dance with her! That is so cute! And Brandon and Stella!

- What is the point of this scene with Bloom? She was like “No, I am not coming back unless I get stronger” but now she starts screaming at the air that she wants to go home right this second? Which she totally could? Just bc Faragonda sent her there through a portal, doesn’t mean she can’t find her own way out of Pyros. And then again acting like she doesn’t have wings? Even if she fell down that chasm, she could fly out. I am so sick of this.

- Where did Maya come from? And also, of course, on Pyros you can just bend magic rules. Makes fucking sense. And all that stuff about “being destined to battle great evil” is really getting on my nerves. Not to mention that she was looking for her parents and last time Stella checked, the Hall of the Universe said they were still alive. So there are people from her planet out there and she can earn her Enchantix the normal way. But she’s all given up on finding her parents just because Valtor told her they were dead? And she believed him because... he is the biggest evil they have fought so far and plays dirty the whole time? Fucking logic.

- I’m not even gonna talk about that magical meditation thing.

- Stella is killing me. In the Omega dimension and she still thinks about fashion.

- Timmy really thought he was gonna negotiate with Omega dimension prisoners? There was no way that could’ve gone down peacefully.

- Oh, come on! Big deal that they fell in a chasm. They can fly! God, why does everyone keep acting like fairies face the same problems with falling that people do? They have fucking wings! They’re going to be just fine! Stop dramatizing over nothing!!!!!!!!!!

- Damn, how are the Specialists not dead? Or at least not having anything broken after having huge rocks thrown at them and being crushed by them?

- Oh, damn! I always thought the necklace came from her Enchantix but it was Maya that gave it to her?

- Well, she got her Enchantix. Is this over now? I am so ready to move on. And since when does she have ownership of the island? Yes, you’re the princess of Domino and the guardian of the Dragon Fire and the most special ever - we get it. Now calm down.

3x17:

- Really? She’s gonna angst about Winx not being there when she can just find someone to ask? Like, maybe Faragonda? And while she’s at it also tell her that she came back from Pyros? Oh, and the pixies were there all along! See, no fucking reason for drama! AND Griselda and Faragonda were already awake so she could’ve just gone to them. Although, they did not seem the least bit relieved that she was back. I mean, it wasn’t like her life was in danger or something, right? Why would they be happy to see her? It’s just like she came back from vacation.

- Wait, Faragonda knew what was going on on Pyros? Seriously? I am so over all of this!

- Oh, now it isn’t Sky’s fault? But she was all bitchy back in Gardenia. I am so done with them!

- Okay, Winx aren’t too safe but that was not because of the fall. It is because of the ice snake.

- Bloom and Sky are equipped with proper clothing. So why weren’t the rest of them? It wasn’t like they didn’t know where they were going. Why didn’t they prepare themselves?

- Why the fuck can’t she transform? They’re just making stuff up as they go to create the illusion of danger.

- Of course, they find Tecna even though Timmy was the one that build a machine to tell him she was even alive still. And it had her precise coordinates but nope. Bloom will be the one to find her. And then save the day. Because she is Bloom. Miss Universe. No, I am not bitter, why are you asking?

- Sky didn’t have to interrupt that hug so insensitively.

- Also, obviously Tecna was trapped! Where did they think she was? But at least, she is really handling herself! She is awesome. Maybe a bit too much. I mean, making food out of ice? Talk about doing the impossible.

- Really? That’s just some rope. Tecna should be able to do something about it with her magic.

- And yes. Bloom can’t transform but she and Sky are still the ones to save the day. Even though it was all Tecna’s plan and she was the one who found the others. Of fucking course! We didn’t get to see her Enchantix in action even. I am really salty about this if you can’t tell.

- Yes, let’s just shout and draw everyone in one kilometer radius towards ourselves! Not to mention risk making some ice crack and fall! Such a great idea!

- Yeah, “walking” sure happened. And couldn’t Tecna transform and fly her down? The Enchantix wings are way stronger and Bloom has carried both her parents with her winx wings.

- Omg, Stella is so precious! She literally passed out from exhaustion while trying to keep them safe and warm! My baby! I love her so much!

- How have Bloom and Tecna not broken anything? They fell from so high up! This does not logic logically!

- Oh, yeah. Bloom is so much stronger! She’s only needed saving a couple of times since she got her Enchantix less than an episode ago. But how do they all keep lifting each other up so easily? They must be using magic for it. I mean, please. Even children aren’t so easy to lift up.

- Well, of course. She can’t transform... but she just did. Just like she couldn’t get her Enchantix... but she did anyway. Makes perfect sense, doesn’t it? And it is really stupid because this whole episode has been going so hard for the “oh, poor Bloom who can’t transform” narrative but in the end she is still the strongest one and the one to save the day. Well, you have to pick one! You can’t have it both ways!

- Yes, sure, it was Musa’s fairy dust that fixed this. Right. And why did she even use fairy dust? There was no dark magic to remove from Bloom. None of this is adding up. None of it.

- I thought they were low on Enchantix juice. But they look like they’re doin’ just fine.

- And now she’s speaking with the snake! Which, by the way, should totally be Flora’s department. Or Roxy’s. Not Bloom’s, that’s for damn sure. And the snake isn’t even a dragon! There is some connection to dragons but still. Plus, can’t be destroyed bc it’s part of the Omega dimension? Well, I’ve got news for you! Valtor destroyed some snakes and almost caused the destruction of Omega as well. So it is not impossible.

- “I have an idea” but “I don’t know what I am going to do”. Great!

- “Just think about protecting Stella...” Awwwwwwwwwwwww!

- Omg, I can’t believe her stupid plan worked. First, the ground just opened up to let her through because she’s apparently fairy Moses. And then the snake just did what she told it to do? Really?

3x18:

- Their pajamas are ridiculous. Also, isn’t it a bit early to talk about engagement and marriage? And lake house? You mean, lake palace. I doubt either Erendor or Samara have ever settled for anything less than a fucking palace (and yes, I will take every chance to bitch about them because I can’t stand them.)

- Yeah, just call your boyfriend at 1 a.m. You know, to wish him good night. I mean, just because my sleep schedule is fucked up, doesn’t mean that everyone else’s is. And considering there are classes the next day, it was obviously too late for that. Flora what was that horrible advice coming from you?

- Wait... I don’t think I remember that scene where the Specialists actually infiltrate CT. Am I by any chance watching the RAI version of this episode? I am unclear on that so know that it’s possible. I don’t think it’s RAI but it might be.

- Aw, the vault monsters were re-spelled. :/ But now everything is going to go better since CT is back with Griffin. I never figured out why Valtor just up and left, though. He just sent the Trix after Bloom instead of going himself and then he disappeared. He didn’t even go to Omega to make sure the rest are finished. I totally wouldn’t go back to the place I was trapped for 17 years either but still. Where’d he go off to?

- Awwwwwwwww, look at Griffin just being completely adorable while trying to pull off the witch facade. And her students are precious, too. Plus, I don’t think that some lessons in team work will hurt any of the witches. Their pride maybe a little, but they could use the “practice” of working with others. XD

- Anti magic from the dimension Negatio? Say what now? They really are just going to let those things go against them and possibly cancel their magic forever? Safety just went out the window. Also, isn’t Palladium worried by being so close to those creatures? They could probably erase his magic as well if they go out of control. This is just a bit too much.

- Yikes, Bloom’s pupils looked like they’d caught fire. Her power really is out of control. (But also, you gotta love how they only showed the Enchantix of Flora, Tecna and Bloom who got it last. They were like “Yeah, Layla, Stella and Musa already got to show off theirs a handful of times. Now it’s the others’ turn.” XD)

- Why does Bloom think that Valtor will tell her the truth about her parents?

- Damn, that secret entrance is so well hidden. But really with the box? I hate the box thing. Can we just not? (Did all of those spells come from CT btw? Bc I am pretty sure he said something about realm erasure or something of the sort. Damn, what kind of things do they keep in Cloud Tower?)

(- Gotta love the animation mistake that had Darcy and Stormy in their “confrontation” outfits instead of their everyday wear for a few seconds before it switched right back.)

- Stella really outdid herself with the idea for those outfits.

- Why isn’t Stormy with Valtor, Icy and Darcy?

- Musa is thinking about breaking off the non-quite-relationship with Riven? Why don’t I remember any of that?

- Well, Nabu got busted pretty quickly. Tecna’s gadgets are really cool. And of course, Stella is being Stella.

- Stormy’s outlines showed in the clouds Valtor summoned but she wasn’t with them in the previous scene while they were flying towards Magix.

- Ooh, Valtor really only said he was after the Ancestresses’ Eye so that they’d remove it from the box and clear it for him to take it. Finesse and deception, indeed.

- Yeah, let’s just break through the museum’s security system! And also, scan the whole place to spy on them. (Btw why are they keeping powerful artifacts in a museum where anyone can walk in?) At least they figured that there is something wrong with Valtor announcing his plans.

- Nabu just let Tecna and Stella roll off the roof before he caught Layla. I can’t even.

- Tecna can tell how much magic Valtor has left? Come again? This seems just a tad bit unbelievable to me.

- Valtor doesn’t look weaker at all to me.

- Oh, so now they are smart enough to figure out his plan? But they were all idiotically asking “Why are the witches attacking us?” in 3x10. Can we keep something consistent here?

- Why doesn’t Valtor know that she has Enchantix? Didn’t the Trix tell him? They were there when she got it. Like I said, can we have some consistency in this whole thing, please?

- Okay, I have too many clashing thoughts about that last scene so I’m just not gonna go into any of them. But Nabu clearly cares for Layla since he’s been doing everything he could to protect her.

3x19:

- What did Chimera just do to the Hall of the Universe? Why did it stop rotating? (Also, ew at Cassandra’s comment about Radius revolving around her.)

- “Flying free is a thing of the past in this kingdom” No villains here, though. Nope, sir. Absolutely none. (I really can’t tell if Radius is just faking being spelled or if she spelled him again after his conversation with Stella in 3x08.) And shouldn’t the wedding be guarded regardless of the things with Stella? I mean, this is a royal event. There is no way this can go without security.

- Stella is having a total breakdown.

- Omg, this scene supports my headcanon about Stormy using her magic for everyday things. Aka drying off Darcy’s nail polish. Nice! (But oh, god, it’s the stupidity with the box again.) Where did Valtor’s neck go in those last moments of the scene? They forgot to color it so it looks like his head just hovers above his collar.

- Hey, Stella, that remark about Tecna was rude. Also, didn’t Timmy say that he and Tecna took dancing lessons? So she must have gotten better at it. Also, I am just relieved that Bloom managed to catch Kiko after she threw him in the air like he was a toy. She is very irresponsible both with his physical health and his emotions sometimes.

- I remember that part with the bikes! It’s really cute. And Stella seems to be having fun even if she was against the whole thing. Poor Musa, though. She was right about there being something wrong with Riven’s bike.

- Chimera wants to be the princess of Solaria but behaves like a vampire when exposed to sunlight.

- Oof, that scene in the boys’ dorms. XD Timmy and Riven being disaster boyfriends. But damn, Helia really got mad there and served him the news about Musa’s doubts about their relationship.

- “Think about what you would do and then do the opposite.” lmao

- The pixies appeared so conveniently. But hey, they did make awesome uniforms for the girls.

- Well, at least Riven apologized for the teasing. Now he just needs to apologize for being wrong and not listening to Musa.

- Step 2 of that plan is a little too vague. “Bust up that wedding” could mean a lot of things. And there could be various ways of execution.

- Helia and Layla really took care of the bikers. And Stella apologizing for what they’re doing to them was so adorable. She is a true princess with manners and kindness (even if she can be temperamental and straight up a bitch sometimes).

- Layla saved them again with those tricks she performed. It’s a good thing that she’s really great on her bike.

- Stella was actually pretty clever about this! She showed Valtor’s mark on her father’s neck and then she just went blazing in. I love how she blasted Chimera out of her way! She made Chimera cry. And then just started teleporting to keep Cassandra from getting away. She’s so awesome! And the people also listened to her! (If only the guards had as well.)

- She unspelled her dad! And they now have an idea on where to start about defeating Valtor.

3x20:

- Yikes, Valtor really destroyed the whole Lightrock. I bet the Trix were all too happy about that. (Why was that assembly in Faragonda’s office, though, and not in the big hall where they usually have them? Was it only for the third-years?)

- Oh, my god! Faragonda actually considered the possibility that this might be a trap so that they’d leave Alfea. I bet it was Griselda that actually figured that out. But that “she acts like she controls the school” was hilarious(ly dumb (especially coming from Digit)). She does control the school, lol.

- Well, they are tiny. It’s not like they’re trying to offend them. They’re just saying the truth.

- I thought Stormy was over Valtor. She really looked like she was. (And nobody bought Icy’s claims that she was over him even for a second.) I think that Darcy is on to something with that comment about men’s egos, though. XD Gotta admit that I am not a fan of Valtor listening in on all of this. It really reminds me of the way fake Avalon was baiting all the fairies into being even more smitten with him and that was disgusting. Although, the Trix are adults at least. (They have to be if they were seniors in season 1.) I also love that Darcy tried for a more peaceful solution. But I have a feeling that might have been because she wasn’t actually sure that she could win a magical fight between them.

- Stormy is having a bunch of good ideas here. Cruel but good. And Valtor has to at least appreciate the effort they are putting into impressing him, stealing spells and all.

- And that was the end of the good ideas and the beginning of the clowning around.

- I think Amore is in love with Stella. XD

- There’s a whole army of “little creatures of the forest”. XD

- Darcy has the right idea with the hypnotizing.

- “I wouldn’t respect you if you weren’t a little bit devious”, I can’t.

- Why is Kiko giving a ride to a seahorse that can fly?

- The Trix are now getting soundly defeated by pixies. This can’t get anymore ridiculous but I am going to give it a pass because it was established early on that this episode is just going to be Like That.

- Poor Kiko! He almost got crushed. I am not sure how smart it was of Darcy to make the pixies that big. Also, why can they make themselves smaller but not bigger? That seems kinda stupid.

- “Love energy”? Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. I am out of here. And Valtor is watching all of this. The Trix are embarrassing themselves so hard rn and I cannot stand it.

- Oof, even Valtor was done with their bullshit. He came to collect them. I just... I don’t know what to say about this except that I hate how cringy all of it is.

(- They really just spared an entire episode on this.)

3x21:

- That’s actually a smart plan to test their attacks on Bloom in order to figure out how to beat Valtor. I like it.

- Aww, Layla is still being respectful with her mom even when she is firm in defending her beliefs and her agency. I love it!

- So the Dragon Fire is basically matter and the Water Stars are anti matter? I mean, if you parallel them to our theories about the creation of the universe. But if they can’t exist in the same dimension, then how come they were just a few inches away from Bloom and nothing happened? We went from “smart plan” to “this doesn’t make sense again” pretty quickly and I am not here for it.

- You can’t seriously tell me that Faragonda and Saladin agreed to let them go on a mission to get the Water Stars. Why would you let students go get one of the three literally most powerful essences in the universe? This sounds like insanity.

- Edge of the world? Really? Are we in the Middle Ages?

- Okay, but Nabu’s approach is just stupid. Another one that doesn’t get girls. I am just amazed that Layla totally managed to catch him even though he was invisible. She is really awesome!

- “Are you putting a charm spell on me?” “No, I am just being myself.” “Well, stop it because... I don’t know. Just because.” Okay, my mind is made up. I am shipping this! (Layla x Nabu) And I only really needed one scene to start!

- Omg, they crashed. I am shooketh!

- Ugh, I am so not here for the Riven and Musa drama. And he just jumped on his bike and headed after them even though he didn’t even know for certain if there was anything happening there. I know they had some problems in the previous few episodes but that is zero trust right there.

- Holy fuck, what is that monster?!

- I’d totally forgotten that Nabu was a wizard. I just hope that now that he saved Layla and he showed that he could have freed himself at any moment but he didn’t, she will believe him. They are already too cute to not get together asap (especially considering that he dies).

- Aww, Stella was so quick to aid Musa. And she got so angry at that monster. She can be so feisty and also so good in battle. I love her!

- The pixies just tricked that monster nicely. XD I guess they really aren’t too small even for the big dangers.

- So Flora doesn’t kill things. She just “returns them to nature”. That’s one way to make natural compost, I guess.

- “Chill out, main frame.” Lol.

- Honestly, I was kinda surprised that Riven knows Piff’s name. She isn’t even Musa’s pixie (only her bestie’s). I mean, it makes sense for him to know it but at the same time it would have been just as believable if he hadn’t known it. Idk. I guess they just portray him as a jerk so much of the time that I was surprised by this. Ignore my rambling.

- Awwwwww! Layla trusted him. And he surfs. Of course, he surfs. XD (He is from Tides, after all, and they are perfectly compatible.) But of course, Riven had to arrive at the worst possible moment and misinterpret everything even more than he already had.

3x22:

- Riven did not see any of this coming. But I wouldn’t say that what he did was “valiant” at all. It was misguided and fueled by jealousy, insecurity and lack of trust. Def not things you want in a relationship.

- Yes, of course, Bloom can read that thing. And of course, Tecna and Timmy couldn’t decipher it with some tech, which was totally what I thought they would do but no!

- “When we’re big enough to be small?” XD This scene is finally making me realize why Stella has always been my fave. We just have the exact same attitude. All her bitching in this could have come straight out of my mouth.

- They are removing their inner darkness with the fairy dust? I cannot even tell you how much I absolutely despise this idea.

- Btw why is Brandon not with them?

- Omg, Valtor is torturing them by replaying them their loss by the pixies? Oh, that is evil. XD But I have to say that this makes me a little more accepting of the pixie episode because it was used to fuel the Trix here. So it was not completely useless. How come they were animated as if they’re back on Tides, though? ‘Cause I am pretty sure they are not.

- They are trampoline-ing on a cloud! I love it! It is so cute.

- I love how they just picked Stella to be their speaker. I think it’s cool because she is a princess and she will have to learn to be a leader and to hold speeches. Even if that wasn’t very official speak she did there.

- We are still on the Diaspro drama? But omg, I love how quickly Riven and Nabu are becoming friends! They seem to really like each other. And Nabu is so similar to Layla! And obviously totally in love with her already! XD I love that they are playing a game while waiting for the others! We could really use some moments when they’re just being teenagers and are not battling for the fate of the universe. That said, here come the parts with the Crystal Labyrinth that have always been my fave!

- Well, Icy did score that one!

- I am getting chills already by Tecna’s choice and she hasn’t even started debating on it. I love that the room with emotions also showed her friends and not just Timmy. And Tecna was so quick to abandon logic at the idea of never feeling again but she still chose to go through the exit in the name of the greater good. Fuck, I’m already about to cry. My eyes are watering!

- All of Darcy’s clones against all of Nabu’s would have been soooooo cool! She’s never been up against someone who can match her abilities and that would have been epic! Also, Nabu and Riven really have become fast friends and I love it!

- Ancient crow’s dust? Yes, please! This sounds so cool!

- Okay, but seriously. What the fuck did they do to Stella’s face? How does that even translate in a real life look? I mean, what? This was really half-assed. And I kinda don’t like how it implies that Stella’s grandest concern is her looks. That is not the core of her character and they could have done something else here. Also, there was zero build-up with this choice. She just got there and walked straight towards the exit. There was no suspense whatsoever.

- Musa’s test is so unfair! (And yes, I am crying.) Tecna and Stella got back what they sacrificed but Musa never got to be with her mom again. That is really cruel. But at least she got to hear how proud her mom was of her. And Arcadia told her that Stella and Tecna were already outside. Imagine how terrible it would have been if she’d sacrificed being with her mom and one of the others didn’t make it out so it was all for nothing.

- Tecna is truly like a robot without any emotion. Poor baby! But at least they restored what they took from her!

- They really had to waste so much time and have the rest of Winx come back to defeat them. And tell Valtor that Winx ran away? Valtor that can literally see anywhere in the dimension? Yeah, why do I have the feeling that that should not work out for them? Although it probably will.

- Um, excuse me? “Musa, Stella and LAYLA risked everything for”? That was Tecna, not Layla. And I am absolutely convinced that in a later episode the Stars were shown to be six instead of only three. Even though it makes sense that they would be three because they only gave them three.

3x23:

(- I am pretty sure the 3x23 I watched is RAI but I couldn't be bothered to look elsewhere for 4kids.)

- Okay, so they have the Water Stars and they don’t even know what to do with them. Why did none of them think about asking? When they were back at the Golden Kingdom?

- Seriously, Bloom is touching the Stars but there’s nothing happening? Weren’t they supposed to be unable to exist in one dimension with the Dragon Fire? She is literally touching them!!!

- What the hell is this with Valtor? He looks like his favorite puppy died, then he gets weird, then he gets sad again and then he gets so mad he makes Darcy hide behind Icy? I don’t like where any of this is going. And the Company of Light did defeat him. Growling at that fact will not change it so he might want to calm down and find a way to prevent that from happening again instead of raging.

- I love how battle ready Tecna is. Though, maybe it is a good thing that they’re looking for some R&R. She could probably use it.

- Nabu and Layla “developed a little chemistry”? Well, that’s one way to put it, I guess. XD

- Omg, Riven looks so lost when it comes to the girls. XD

- Lol, even Helia is so done with Valtor. It is indeed like Griffin said - everyone wants to give him payback.

- If there are four people fighting, is that still considered a “duel”? (Well, there were three people fighting but still.) I like his plan, though. Challenge all three of them and make it look like it’s about all of them and his revenge. Then go to Alfea while they fight each other under his illusion spell.

- And Griffin's getting some vengeful impulses of her own. I kinda love how petty Valtor was, though, to pick Cloud Tower for his demonstration even though he already fucked around there and did make some of his revenge against Griffin come true. And I love how for someone who always seems to look down on the fairy way of doing things, Griffin was trying to convince her students to stick together because it would make them stronger. That is exactly what the fairies do, you know? XD

- First, what are Ediltrude and Zarathustra doing at that assembly of Alfea teachers after they’ve been MIA since 3x10? Second, “as the oldest teacher on this council”. So Wizgiz is... the oldest of all of them? Like, age wise? And third, now we are having a mention of the situation in Alfea while Faragonda was trapped in the tree? But they didn’t bother to show any of the teachers being worried or even doing shit about it while she was missing?

- “It’s a battle we have fought before and won”. Yeah, right. You’re three members short if you haven’t noticed. And Valtor is more powerful than ever before.

- Good thing Faragonda didn’t take the Water Stars. They would have probably lost them to Valtor and then it would have been the end. I have to admit that his strategy of “divide and conquer” was pretty good. I am still salty about the fact that neither of them could tell it was an illusion, though. Griffin has worked for the Ancestral Witches for fuck’s sake. She must have been closely acquainted with Lysslis’ illusions and how to spot them. This was just too easy for him and too incompetent on their part (and by “their” I’ll let you decide if I mean the Company of Light or the writers... or both.)

- Oof, this is actually Griffin and Faragonda fighting each other. Ouch! That hurts.

- My god, what was that expression on Faragonda’s face? She looked like a rabid dog. I guess Valtor just really brings out the worst in everyone. XD

- Hey, wait! Was that glass shards or ice shards that Saladin was attacked with?

Because that was Faragonda’s magic. What is happening here? (Btw I love how much the boys wanted to help take Valtor down. Idk, it really just struck a cord.)

- Oof, that battle is taking its toll on them and the protective barrier of Alfea is suffering from Faragonda’s powers being drained. But from what we’ve seen so far, it looks like Griffin is holding up the best out of the three of them.

- It’s really cute that Winx believed Bloom about Valtor being at Alfea even if it seemed insane.

- Omg, please treat the books more gently! I am literally begging you!

- The thing with the Water Stars looked intense. But of course, Valtor found a way to cheat out of it. I wonder what the Stars would do to him, though. He was literally made from the Dragon Fire so if the Water Stars cancel that out, does it mean that he will cease to exist?

- Poor Faragonda, Griffin and Saladin. They must have felt horrible about hurting each other and falling for Valtor’s trick.

- This Layla x Nabu train is moving a little bit too fast but he was following her around for a while so I guess he did have enough time to fall for her. And they are literally made for each other so... I guess it’s fine.

3x24:

- Ugh, another dream! And, of course, Bloom’s friends are against her as always. I already bitched about that in my thoughts on the first half of this season so I won’t do it again. It is curious, though, that Faragonda is on her side in her dream(s) but her friends never are. They are supposed to be best friends but she trusts them less than she trusts Faragonda, who has, admittedly, kept information from her before? Or is it that she feels that Faragonda can help her when Winx can’t and that is what this is supposed to mean? And a sidenote – I can just see the writers going “Hehe, symbolism” when they came up with the portraits of Valtor and Marion and Oritel getting destroyed.

- Oh, you can’t be for real! She is seriously buying into Valtor’s lie about her parents? And she even finds evidence to support it in her connection to him? Really? And also, because this goes here, why the hell would the Ancestral Witches tell her the truth when they are even worse than Valtor who is lying to her (even if she doesn’t know he’s lying)? You gotta love how seeing the Ancestral Witches and thinking of seeking them out was the only purpose of that dream. That and the obvious way to up the unnecessary Bloom drama.

- See? Her friends are supportive as hell! They wake up in the middle of the night from her nightmares and aren’t even angry about it. Instead, they check up on her, offer to stay with her and say they will support her no matter what. Why does she keep dreaming of them being against her? If you are not secure in your friendship after all this, then you literally never will be.

- “Those witches are long gone” was supposed to mean that they were dead, right? Yeah, well, that didn’t work out since in Secret of the Lost Kingdom they aren’t dead.

- Why is Faragonda on board with this and ALSO so cheerful about it? She fought those witches and watched them destroy the entire planet of Domino and her friends. The least she should be is wary as fuck and worried about Bloom (and Bloom’s sanity). Not to mention reluctant to do the spell and suspicious of any results they could get. Also, where the hell is that room? Do they just have a room that can reach any dimension even in the past in the school? Because that just spells out trouble.

- Why does the Ancestral Witches’ essence still exist in Cloud Tower? They have never been mentioned to have been anywhere near Cloud Tower. Is there any reason to this or did they just do it so that Winx could bring back Cloud Tower? Because, you know, Griffin is only one of the most powerful witches in existence and the headmistress of one of the most prestigious schools for magic. Why the hell would she be able to find her own school? Especially if she has the help of Faragonda and Saladin. I mean, her and Faragonda’s convergence withstood Darkar’s attacks but, of course, they could never find Cloud Tower themselves. Never mind that Faragonda is a fairy and has been confirmed to have fairy dust in a previous episode so they totally didn’t need Winx to un-spell Cloud Tower for them.

- Yeah, Griffin totally didn’t think of the fact that Valtor might have just used an illusion spell to hide Cloud Tower. Even though she worked with him for the Ancestral Witches and Lysslis has illusion powers which Valtor could totally copy. He was shown to have ice powers like Belladonna in a previous episode so he probably can do all the things that the Ancestrals could. But of course, instead of thinking of any of that, Griffin just sat idly by and waited for students to save her school while she and her witches were probably crammed in Alfea (there is no way the school is big enough to fit both the fairies and the witches comfortably).

- Why the fuck do they need the Water Stars? Also, remember how “the Dragon Fire and the Water Stars couldn't exist in the same dimension”? They seem to be doing just fine here. It’s all pretty chill. Especially considering that the Water Stars are supposed to be able to remove Bloom’s whole magic. But she’ll just put up a shield. You know, with her Dragon Fire. The same Dragon Fire that the Water Stars can extinguish. The stupidity is unreal. And there are six Water Stars now instead of only three. Continuity at its finest.

- Why did only Flora use her fairy dust? And why couldn't they just break the spell from the outside? Ugh, this is again only here to evoke pity for Bloom because, you see, her Enchantix is incomplete and now she has to rely on her friends. Whatever will she do? Poor baby! Gag me!

- I am getting really fed up with everything but especially with Valtor. (And Bloom but I’ve already been bitching about that so let’s switch it up a little.) First, he starts yelling at the Trix that they can’t defeat Bloom even though he couldn't do it himself. Then, he wants to punish them when they call him out on his bullshit and say that he is afraid of fighting Bloom, which he totally is. And also, why did that power-up he gave them had to undress them? They didn’t have to change in bikinis in order to be more powerful. This is actually creeping me out.

- Cloud Tower has dungeons and a crypt? What the hell is going on in this school? This is supposed to be a school, you know?

- “Goth outfits”? You mean beach outfits. And they still can’t beat even the rest of Winx and we all know Bloom is supposed to be the most powerful.

- Of course, she just stumbled into the crypt accidentally! And what the hell were those vines coming out? Why vines when none of the Ancestral Witches can summon vines? Was that an illusion? Or was it some sort of protection spell?

- I don’t know what is worse – the fact that Bloom thought the Ancestral Witches would help her or the fact that they actually told her the truth. They are pure evil. Why the fuck would they tell her the truth? It would have been so much cooler if they’d told her Valtor was telling the truth and she had to fight him while thinking that could destroy her parents. It would have been real drama and not this pseudo drama that has been going on here.

- It looked like the Trix were only pretending to be hit by the Winx’ spell but then they just keep losing in literally one blast. I am so sick of this! Can we see a proper battle? Because this is everything but.

- “We haven’t even begun using our new powers.” Then why don’t you begin using them because Winx are wiping the floor with you? You really need to up your game because you are being ridiculous.

- Really? The fairy dust can now remove powers and not just spells? Convenient as hell and just as boring, thanks.

- Really? Winx are somehow more powerful than the heads of the schools (since they broke Valtor’s spell on CT)? Well, why don’t we just give them Alfea and Cloud Tower and call it quits. I mean, they are the ones doing everything anyway. Why not just hand them over the schools. There won’t be much difference.

3x25:

- Oh, so now Faragonda is concerned that Valtor is dangerous? They have been fighting him all season. She let them go for the Water Stars in what looked like an official mission. But now she is worried for their well-being? You're a little too late for that, hon.

- Okay, I am totally done with Valtor. I know the Trix were laughing at him and everything but blasting them into walls is a big no-no. They are supposed to be his partners and he's abusing them. I am so glad they left him to deal with his shit on his own.

- You know, he doesn't look too weak from here. He looks scary. And not because he turned into a demon. His temper and lack of control are scary. Especially since he has so much power at his disposal.

- At least the Trix admitted they have no taste in men. It is ironic, though, that it was Icy who said it, yet she fell for Tritanus in season 5. I guess they also never learn.

- The greatest spell is the four elements? I get why they're powerful and everything but I would've loved something more original. This just feels lazy.

- Oof, I don't think we have seen the Trix look so scared.

- I have to say that even though what is happening is pretty horrible, the frantic energy of that scene with everyone telling Faragonda what's wrong is greatly amusing me. Idk why. I guess I am just a little heartless prick sometimes. XD

- It's cute that now Griffin is instantly calling Faragonda instead of them not talking to each other like back in season 1 or having Saladin acting like a mediator, which he was. And I love that the development of their friendship is very subtle but is still there. That is so adorable!

- Please, tell me that their fairy dust won't be enough to fix this because that will be too easy. Also, I am shocked that Griselda is also there (and that she barged in Faragonda's office like that before) and they aren't waiting for Winx to solve everything.

- Oh, so the elements will keep tormenting them forever? Okay, that is a little more interesting than I originally thought.

- And so much for the teachers doing anything. It is all up to Winx... Again.

- Wow, the Specialists can neutralize twisters? That is so weird but also very cool.

- I thought Winx would try to put up a new barrier around Alfea, at least, but I guess there's no point in that. Getting Valtor seems to be the way to beat this.

- Now we're gonna talk about the Omega thing? And again brushing it off? You know what? Whatever.

- Well, his trick with the lake was kinda for nothing because they all made it out. But at least he is back to his human form.

- Formless mud monster? Really? Can't we do anything better?

- Ooh, Valtor's plan about the Water Stars was cool! And I love how Winx tried to protect Bloom. And this battle is at least going on longer even if it's still not much in terms of an actual battle.

- Bloom's idea was pretty smart but it still doesn't make sense. Valtor already absorbed a lot of spells before he got the box so he has to be pretty powerful still even without it. Edit: Or he could just put them all in the box and lose them all because he is dumb like that. Nvm. Also, he just threw away the Water Stars aka the one thing that can really fuck him over to chase the spell with the elements? Idk but the Water Stars seem more important to me.

- Like I said, what was the big idea with the elements spell? It brought him down.

- Watch Faragonda and Griselda act like they can't teleport.

- Well, the Trix finally got their brains back and left. Good for them.

- Wait, the Trix were taken back to Lightrock? I don't remember that. But awww at that shot of Icy and Stormy hugging to console each other about their terrible fate.

- Well, the boys got to Alfea fast.

3x26:

- In the previous episode: “The trees aren’t burning up and aren’t getting charred but are just swallowed in flames.” In this episode: “Everything has burned down and been destroyed.” *eternal sigh* I cannot wait for this episode to be over and be done with this whole season.

- Well, at least they fixed the forest and everything is back to normal. And the animals are so cute!

- Faragonda and Griffin’s friendship is so cute! And I am glad that neither of them is quick to close this chapter because they both know better than to just assume it’s over without evidence.

- Aww, look at Kiko! Trying so hard to cheer Bloom up!

- What was that scene with Valtor? Was he doing it on purpose to capture the Specialists and then do what he did with them? (I think he pitted them against Winx. Or at least made clones of them that went against Winx.)

- Yup! He’s using them all right. (I can’t get that meme out of my head. There was an edit of that scene with Valtor and Helia with the text post “Hey there, boys. It’s me. Ya demon.” and I am just cracking up thinking about it.)

- The spell with the elements again? It is the only one he had left but then again, Helia said he was just as strong as he’d been before that when he attacked them at the lake. Also, he only grabbed Sky, Brandon and Riven then? Not that that wasn’t enough. They would have gone even if he’d only kidnapped one of the boys. But still.

- Bloom can create things that teleport them now? Wasn’t teleportation a Stella gimmick?

- Ah, so he also took Timmy. And those were the clones that Tecna, Stella, Musa and Bloom are dealing with. That last part became apparent after Brandon but now it’s confirmed.

- Okay, this version of the four elements spell seems cooler. And the clones seem hard to defeat as well. There is finally some more tension here.

- Never mind, it’s over. Bloom solved it in a second. Of course, she did. Obviously, she doesn’t even need to see Valtor or know where he is to be able to blast him. Sure. Makes perfect sense.

- Oh, come on! Only reason that blast could have knocked Valtor out would be that he was already exhausted and using up all of his energy for the spell with the elements.

- So the Ancestral Witches aren’t dead. Just banished. Okay, that checks out. But damn, that scene is giving me the creeps and making me feel so bad for Valtor. He literally did not have control over his own body (and even... soul?), not to mention how they kept nagging him about failing. Also, is the mark by any chance how he is bound to them? It seemed to hold him prisoner.

- They’re fighting inside Valtor? That is freaky and not in a cool way. I was kinda glad that he got back to his human form (even if it was only on the inside) but that last part was pretty anti climatic. Valtor didn’t even get to do anything there. It was one blast from Bloom and everything was over. (Though, I should be glad that there won’t be more plot holes in this.)

- Wait, his essence is imprisoned with the Ancestral Witches? So in Obsidian then? That was never followed up in the movie and in s8 he said his essence was just roaming around freely. But whatever. Nothing has made sense all season. Why start now?

- Awww at Nabu and Layla! They were so perfect! How could they kill him?!

I don’t have much of a conclusion for this season. I went in really hyped for it and the last few episodes tore my nerves to shreds. Don’t be fooled by that, though. There is no sense to be found anywhere in this season. I am pretty sure at least 40% of my thoughts were just “This doesn’t make any sense whatsoever.” Also, when will continuity come back from the war? I still love Enchantix but there were even things with that that enraged me. And Valtor... I will just pretend that the last third of this season does not exist in terms of his character. I am honestly glad that I am done with this and I can move on to season 4.

[beatrice-otter]

Fic: Realization and Renewal, Sense and Sensibility, Elinor/Colonel Brandon

The second fic I wrote for Yuletide was a treat for ChronicBookworm. It was a Sense and Sensibility AU which paired Elinor and Colonel Brandon, and one of their prompts was Elinor/Brandon/Edward OT3 which was a really interesting idea but I couldn't think how to include it without making the fic really really really long, and so I gave up and just did Elinor/Brandon. (Even though the idea of an OT3 was really interesting.) Title: Realization and Renewal Fandom: Sense and Sensibility Author: beatrice_otter  Written for: chronicbookworm  for yuletide  2019 Rating: General Audiences Pairing: Elinor Dashwood/Colonel Brandon Betaed by: Aurilly Length: 3535 words Warnings: none Summary: As Marianne recovers, Elinor and Colonel Brandon find themselves drawn to one another. AN: I tried to make it OT3, because you are right, Edward/Elinor/Brandon would be a delightful pairing, but it would have had to be MUCH too long a fic to be done in time to be a Yuletide treat. I hope someone else takes the idea and runs with it. At AO3.  On Dreamwidth. On Pillowfort.

With their mother now at Cleveland and available to nurse Marianne back to health, Elinor's presence was not in so much demand. And though her sisterly feelings and desire to be useful were no less than they had heretofore been, still she was glad in the respite of turning the primary duty of care over to her mother.

Finding herself tired after the tumultuous few days, Mrs. Jennings' speculation was more wearying than usual, and so Elinor spent her free time largely out-of-doors, enjoying the spring sunshine. It was there that she came across Colonel Brandon four days later, sunning himself on a bench in the shrubbery.

"Miss Dashwood," he said, rising courteously as she came in to view. They exchanged pleasantries and he invited her to join him, which offer she accepted with content. Although reserved, Elinor was not a solitary person by nature, and the Colonel's company was always agreeable.

"Your sister looked very well," Brandon said. "Or at least, she looked as if she will soon be very well, which is almost as good."

"Yes, we are all very cheered by her progress," Elinor said, "and I know that our mother's presence is a great comfort to her."

"Your mother is a good woman with a warm and generous heart," Brandon said. "You are very lucky to have such a mother."

"Yes," Elinor said. "We were fortunate in both our parents. Our father was of a different temperament, but just as kind and loving. Not all are so fortunate." With a pang, she considered what Edward's life must have been, with such a mother and such siblings as he had had. Little though Elinor cared for Lucy Steele, she must at least admit that Lucy was kinder and warmer than Edward's own blood. Last she had seen of them, Lucy had been doing much to ingratiate herself into her future relations' good graces. Though Elinor still believed that when the Ferrars family learnt of Edward's engagement the charms of the Miss Steeles would drop considerably in their estimation, it was possible that Lucy's brazen flattery would do much to heal the breach; and in that, at least, if no other way, Lucy would be a more capable wife for Edward than Elinor would have been.

"I confess that although I have spent time in your mother's company, I had never given enough thought to her to realize how much she is like an older version of Eliza," Brandon went on. "In my mind, she is always the young girl I knew as a boy, or the broken woman I found on my return. But on the way from Barton Cottage to Cleveland, I found myself thinking that in your mother I could see what Eliza would have been like in such a situation, had her life been happier. Had she lived to become a mature woman of strength and grace."

"I hope the realization gave you some comfort," Elinor said in some confusion. Did that mean he found her mother attractive? Considered objectively, Mrs. Dashwood was still a handsome woman, and closer to Colonel Brandon's age than her daughters were, but Elinor had never considered that her mother might be an object of attraction to anyone but her father. He could not seriously consider anything, Elinor reassured herself, for he had no heir and her mother was surely past childbearing.

"I do not know that it was a comfort, precisely," Colonel Brandon said, "but it did give me a new perspective on … several things. If there is one thing I have learned in the past few weeks, it is how my thoughts and perspectives have been largely trapped in the past, like an insect in amber."

"How so?" Elinor asked.

"You have no doubt noted the similarities—and the differences—between Marianne's experiences and those of my poor dear Eliza. Marianne is not ruined and Marianne will not die, but …"

"The outlines of the situations are very much alike," Elinor said. "Like silhouettes made of sisters. In full light they may not look very much alike, but in relief the profiles are strikingly similar."

"Yes, exactly," Brandon said, nodding. "A perfect metaphor, thank you. When I met Marianne, and as her relationship with Willoughby progressed and reached its unhappy end, all I could see was how like Eliza she was. It was as if I was seventeen myself again, watching the whole tragedy unfold for the first time. But I am not that boy any longer, and Marianne is not Eliza, and it gives me no credit, nor Eliza any honor, to pretend otherwise. As for Marianne, she should be valued for who she is, not as a reflection of someone I once loved deeply."

"I think you always saw Marianne for who she is, even as you saw the similarities to Eliza," Elinor said.

"I am not sure but what you give me too much credit," Brandon said with a sigh. He shook his head. "Still, that is my own lesson in all of this, and you have had the greater burden, as Marianne's sister and confidant through all of this, and as her nurse. I should not be so selfish as to burden you with my own concerns."

"It can be a relief and a distraction, to consider another's cares, when one has many of one's own," Elinor said.

"True," Brandon replied, "yet surely the greater relief is in sharing one's own cares, so that the burden may also be shared? You love your sisters deeply, and your mother, but given the differences in temperament between you I cannot imagine you wish to bear all the secrets of your heart to them, even if Marianne were not so consumed with her own tragedy of late."

"In that you are quite correct," Elinor said. "Marianne would never tell a secret I wished her to keep in confidence, but I learned long ago that she is seldom able to govern her emotions enough to prevent her countenance and actions from betraying it anyway. And if my feelings—or my expression of them—do not match what she thinks I should feel, she will either declare me heartless or assume me to be lying because of propriety." She sighed. "I should not say such things, because I make her sound quite selfish and heartless, and she is neither. Please do not repeat my complaints."

"It is only that she is young and cannot quite understand that not everyone is the same as she is," Brandon said. "Many young people are like that, and most learn better as they grow. But have no fear, I will not share your secrets. I have kept worse ones."

"Thank you," Elinor said. She wondered what had come over her; it was true, she liked and trusted the Colonel as she did few others, but she was not in the habit of giving such confidences to anyone.

"Have you ever had a true confidant?" Brandon asked. "Someone you could trust with your deepest thoughts and feelings? A friend in your old neighborhood, perhaps?"

"No," Elinor said. "I had friends, of course, but … none that I was terribly close to." Elinor had never been lonely, but she was the one others took their secrets to, not the reverse. She had shared with Edward thoughts and feelings which she had shared with few others; yet there had still been a reserve of propriety between them.

"I am trying to think of men I know who might have sisters or wives or daughters with whom you might form a connection," Brandon said, "but unfortunately, my circle of acquaintances is small now, and you already know most of them. If there was a bosom companion for you in that set, you would already have found them."

"Thank you for your consideration," Elinor said, touched. "But I am not lonely."

"It is possible to feel alone in a crowded room, if no one in it truly knows you," Brandon said. "I would spare you that, if I could."

Elinor could not speak, for she had never known that others could understand that sentiment. No dramatics, just a quiet loneliness that no one else could see. She touched his arm, a tangible example of the connection she felt with him in that moment. "Thank you," she said again.

They sat quietly together for some time. No further words passed between them, but none were necessary, for they were in perfect harmony.

Elinor found herself strangely reluctant to leave Cleveland, after all her yearning these last months to be back home in Barton Cottage. She and Colonel Brandon had spoken many times throughout Marianne's recovery, and though on no occasion was their conversation as deep as it had been that day in the shrubbery, still there was a closeness between them now that Elinor had only but rarely experienced in her life. And however often he visited them at Barton Cottage or saw them at Barton Park, they could not see one another as often as while they resided in the same house. And a greater proportion of their time would, of necessity, be spent within earshot of other people.

Upon realizing the source of her reluctance, Elinor felt quite shocked; for so great a desire for a man's company could only be the symptom of an attachment, and she had not been conscious of forming one.

The long ride from Cleveland to Barton provided ample time for self-examination, for Marianne was too tired to speak and their mother was mostly occupied in caring for her.

Her first thought, that she had finally learned to stop caring for Edward, was not true; her thoughts of him were tinged with as great an affection as they had been when she arrived at Cleveland, and the pain of his being engaged to another woman (but especially one unworthy of him) had not lessened. She still loved him, yearned for him.

Yet Colonel Brandon had, without her knowing it, become as dear to her as ever Edward had been; and although he had never indicated an interest in her beyond that of friendship, she found herself considering with interest the idea that he might. She hesitated to call so new an attachment 'love,' yet knew not any better word for it.

For one wild moment she thought that she would gladly have married both, if she could, and resented that she had to choose. But, no, she did not have the right of choosing; Edward was promised to another, and Brandon might think of her as nothing more than a friend.

Had she been alone she would have buried her face in her hands at this thought, and perhaps laughed at herself—or cried—but any such reaction would surely have drawn the attention of her mother and sisters, and they would not be satisfied without an answer, and their reaction she did not wish even to imagine.

Such a wild desire was more Marianne's style than her own, and Elinor's normal equilibrium soon reasserted itself.

It occurred to her, once at home, that while she had grown out of the habit of confiding in Marianne, her newly-realized affection for the Colonel was one thing she could share, and although impressing on Marianne her change in feelings might be difficult, it would at least prevent her sister from further dwelling on Edward's love for her. Their mother could not be told while she held such a firm belief in Brandon's love for Marianne, but if Elinor could get Marianne on her side, things would be much easier.

It was a difficult conversation, though, for Marianne still believed that a woman could only ever truly have one great passionate love, and that any second relationship must only be for material considerations.

"You must not give up hope," said she. "Edward loves you, I know he does, and he will come and ask you to marry him soon. You are still young, and we are comfortable enough here at Barton Cottage. You do not need to settle for—"

"I am not settling!" cried Elinor in some exasperation. She had known that Marianne would take some time to adjust her opinions, for she always did, and had planned on being as calm and even-tempered as always, but the strain of the secrets she had been keeping for so long had taken its toll, and now that she finally had something of importance that she could share with her sister, what she wished more than anything was to have Marianne return even a fraction of the understanding and support Elinor had given her since Willoughby's loss.

But though Marianne might respect a passionate declaration of love such as she herself might make, that was not Elinor's manner, and besides, in her present mood she might be led to say things more hurtful than she meant. Elinor thought back to Brandon's words in the shrubbery at Cleveland. "I wish," Elinor said, with an iron grip on her composure, "that you would learn that I am not you, and that my thoughts and feelings are different than yours."

"Elinor, of course I understand that we are different!" Marianne said.

"Then why do you dismiss every word of mine that does not fit with what you think I should be feeling?" Elinor said. "When I first came to care for Mister Ferrars, you scoffed. Then you became so great a partisan of our affections that when I did not wish to think of it any longer, you would not listen, to my very great mortification on more than one instance. Now I have a new attachment, but you would rather build castles in the air for me and Mister Ferrars than listen. At no time have you ever respected or cared for my actual feelings. I am sorry to be so severe." There was something she had long wished to say, and it had come out far more critically than she had wished. But she could not take the words back, and found that she did not wish to.

"No," Marianne said. Her voice was even but she had gone pale with shock. "If that was how you truly feel, I am glad you said it. I am sorry to have been such a poor sister."

"Marianne, no," Elinor said. "I dearly love you, and I know you love me—"

"It's only that you don't think I respect or know you," Marianne said.

"I would not say that," Elinor said.

"No, for you are far too kind and gentle to say such things even when it is the truth," Marianne said. "But can you truly deny that you feel it?"

Elinor could not.

Marianne nodded at her silence. "So," she said. "You have formed an attachment to Colonel Brandon. When did you first know?"

"When I regretted leaving Cleveland, because it meant leaving him," Elinor said.

It was by no means as passionate a declaration as Marianne was hoping for, but it was enough for her to imagine a more ardent feeling than Elinor was willing to share with her.

Colonel Brandon did indeed visit them at Barton Cottage soon thereafter, and Marianne proved a great ally in dis-arranging their mother's plans. Elinor could wish that she would be more discreet, but then she would not have been Marianne.

"May I enquire as to what that was all about?" Brandon asked, after a debate on the afternoon's entertainment started a battle of wills between Marianne and Mrs. Dashwood that led to Marianne and Margaret and their mother playing a game of croquet while Brandon and Elinor sat together on the other side of the lawn.

"Our mother believes that your journey to retrieve her when Marianne was sick is indicative of a deep affection on your part, and wishes to encourage such a match," Elinor said.

"And Marianne does not?" Brandon said.

"Oh!" Elinor said, embarrassed that she had implied what she did not mean to. "I do not know what Marianne's current feelings on the subject may be, but … I have missed our conversations, and Marianne knows this."

"She is a very affectionate sister," Brandon said.

"She is." Did that mean he did love her, still? Elinor wondered.

"I have missed our conversations, too," Brandon said.

Elinor smiled at him.

Colonel Brandon came to visit Barton Park so often that summer that he might almost have been living there. On more than one occasion, Elinor had cause to be thankful for her sister's wild and captivating ways, for with the eyes of all fixed on the beautiful Miss Marianne, there were few to notice when her quiet elder sister and the somber colonel sat on the sidelines and talked quietly. Mrs. Jennings could not be prevented from noticing and speculating on how often they kept company with one another, but Mrs. Jennings was always speculating about somebody or other, and Elinor and Colonel Brandon were not unduly troubled by it.

As always, Barton Park was a hub of entertainments and delights, for both Sir John and his mother-in-law delighted in company and good humor, and Mrs. Jennings in particular was fond of matchmaking.

"Marianne seems to like this one," Brandon said as they watched a rowdy game of cricket on the lawn. Marianne was not flirting with the young man in question as she had with Willoughby, but neither was she avoiding him as rudely as she had the first few young men Mrs. Jennings had dangled in front of her.

"I do not know if there is any particular fondness for him," Eleanor said, "but he plays well and she is fond of cricket. Still, we have not yet heard his opinion of any poet or composer, and those are far more important to Marianne than his skill with a bat."

"Your sister will excuse many things of a man who can read with skill and passion," Brandon said. "Though in this case, I have heard nothing against the young man."

"I think it will take more, now, for her to form an attachment than just similar tastes," Eleanor said, "for she learnt from Willoughby that it is not proof of a similar character. That said, however, I think taste will always be an important factor."

"And what of you?" Brandon asked.

"What did I learn from the last year's excitement?" Eleanor pondered the question. "I have had no great revelation or comeuppance like the heroine of a novel," she said at last. "My beliefs have been confirmed, that a good and honorable character is more important than any other factor. It is not that nothing else matters, only that it is the foundation upon which all else rests."

"I concede the point," Brandon said with a laugh, "although my question was not meant to be quite so profound. I was merely asking if there was a young gentleman on the playing field who had caught your attention."

"No," Eleanor said, for she had been looking for an opportunity to hint of her affections, "not a gentleman on the playing field." She caught his eye and held it.

Brandon blinked, and then a smile crept over his face. "Ah," was all he said.

When they turned their attention back to the game, they were sitting closer to one another than they had been before.

It was rapidly apparent that there was a growing attachment between Colonel Brandon and the eldest Miss Dashwood, which was followed soon thereafter by a marriage. Mrs. Dashwood learned to support the match, for her greatest desire was to see her daughters happy, and it was evident to all that Elinor was very happy. Mrs. Jennings and Sir John took great pride in their role in arranging it, and said so often and with great enthusiasm to any who would listen. Marianne's heart healed from Willoughby's treatment of her, and she had a number of less imprudent flirtations with the young men of the area, before finally accepting a man who was rather less exciting than Willoughby had been, but far more trustworthy.

Lucy Steele did her best to win over the affections of the Ferrars family, but though they all (except Edward) appreciated her flattery, their scheme of marrying Edward to one rich heiress or another (after Miss Morton's marriage to another man) never wavered, and even the most delicate hinting of an affection between Lucy and Edward met with such immediate disapproval that Lucy never dared broach the subject. At last, tired of waiting for either Mrs. Ferrars' approval or her death, Lucy broke her engagement to Edward to marry a gentleman of the Ferrars' acquaintance who had less money than Edward, but whose fortune was under his own control.

Edward eventually married a woman of less fortune than his relations hoped for, but who had enough wealth and connections to be acceptable to them. She was a woman of good sense and character, and they were well suited to one another.

Mr. and Mrs. Brandon were so naturally well-suited to one another in temperament and taste that their marriage was often held up by all who knew them as a model of domestic harmony and felicity.

[hclflcght]

That’s Callum Baker not Brandon Flynn. He's unknown years old and a Resurrected Crescent Wolf. He may be +A quick learner, +Friendly, & +Loyal but he's also -Easily-molded, -Short-tempered &  -Confused.

TW: SELF HARM, HOSPITALISATION, DESCRIPTION OF MENTAL ILLNESS(ES), DEATH, MENTIONS OF ASSUMED ABUSE

THE ROOM IS ON FIRE ..... INVISIBLE SMOKE

BACKGROUND & PAST:

callum, or cladeus as he was then known, was born in the 400′s BC with his brother theseus, and they were always close. both he and his brother were born crescent wolves and therefore, could control their changes at will. 

however, cladeus was born with permanent lunar psychosis in which his brain was, essentially, split in half. his wolf and human sides could never connect, and it resulted in him having episodes of rage, self harm and periods of lost time. he was never diagnosed and it was never treated, and as a result, he got considerably worse as time went on. only his brother, his mother and a few select medical officials at the time could calm him down. however, there was no guarantee by the time he came back to himself, he wouldn’t have caused irreparable harm to himself, others, or both. 

this was why, even when theseus decided to go seek out a heroes journey and a princes’ royalty, cladeus stayed behind.

he triggered his curse at ten years old, during a fit of rage, for which his brother was absent. it triggered him to turn for the first time, which was a painful and traumatic experience, but he did notice that he was calmer as a wolf.

however, due to the fact that his wolf and human sides couldn’t accurately communicate, he often failed to turn entirely. this just resulted in further confusion and frustration, and therefore, more frequent episodes of rage followed by losing time and confusion. 

he died young, when he met a witch. she promised that she could help, and he trusted her because clearly he needed help.

her suggestion was to try and remove the essential defect in his brain during one of his episodes, when he wasn’t conscious. he agreed.

however, when they actually tried this, it ended up killing him. and he remained dead until recently, when the barrier came up around san francisco. 

he woke up in the woods, and naturally, assumed he was still in his time.

when he woke up, he decided to walk until he found civilisation or so someone could help him. and he did, but not in the way he expected. 

he came across a concerned citizen, who asked him if he was alright and offered him their phone to call someone. he thought it was a weapon, and instantly became terrified, begging them not to murder him with this “foreign object”.

they called an ambulance immediately, and they then referenced him to a psychiatric facility where he became an inpatient for over four months.

they asked him where he was from, and when he answered ancient greece, they became even further concerned. he spoke of how theseus was his brother, how he was a werewolf, and how he’d seen his brothers heroic deeds. 

although they recognised that he believed what he was saying was true, they diagnosed him with trauma induced amnesia and delusion. as well as psychotic impulses, clinical adhd and total amnesia. they assumed, from the scars he was marred with, that he was abused and that was how he had ended up an amnesiac patient. 

his name was a cause of great traction. he insisted it was cladeus until they told him that was impossible, that it was an extension of his ancient greek delusion. they gave him a list of modern names to point to his own, and he pointed to callum, as that seemed closest to what he’d previously said. from then on, with some help from the doctors and some lawyers, his name officially became callum baker.

the months that followed saw him being put on medication to curb what they thought were his psychotic impulses and adhd, as well as literally teaching him how to function.

they taught him how to eat, shower, dress himself, speak and read modern english, as well as more practical skills like financial independence, cooking for himself and what he’d need to get a job. these skills, they noticed, also seemed to be missing.

he became particularly close with one of the student nurses, amber, who was kind and gentle with him. all the nurses and doctors he encountered were but she seemed to genuinely care about his wellbeing, and therefore, he bonded closely with her in the months that followed.

by the time he was discharged, they moved his care to a specialist agency who found him a place to live, helped him get a job, buy groceries and paid his rent. 

it was also agreed that amber, the student nurse at the facility he was hospitalised in, would live with him in order to make sure he was taking his medication and functioning as he should. 

this helped him get a cashier job at a local technology shop, as they also believed it would be good for him to further familiarise himself with this technology.

PRESENT:

he entirely believes what the doctors said. he believes he is an amnesiac patient, who suffered from delusions, and that he might never recover his memories. he’s working on becoming okay with that, as well as adapting to the world again.

because he believes everything the doctors had to say, he also doesn’t know/believe he’s a werewolf. because he’s a crescent wolf, he doesn’t have to turn at full moons, and therefore, is unaware he’s able to. he thinks he’s a human who, in the doctors words, used being supernatural as a metaphor for the demons and darkness he’d encountered; the idea that he could turn at will emphasised difference.

the various medications he takes do make him duller, and less feeling in general, so they have decreased the amount of violent episodes he has. however, he still becomes unhinged sometimes, and in those moments, it’s good to have amber or another doctor or psychiatrist around. they are able to calm him, and keep him in one place, long enough to ensure he doesn’t break down or hurt himself.

in general, he thinks he’s the picture of normal and he’s going to have a real harsh reality check.

[inhumansforever]

Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur #34 Review

spoilers spoilers spoilers spoilers spoilers spoilers spoilers spoilers spoilers

Desperation can cause even the most brilliant among us to make mistakes.  And Lunella Lafayette has made a critical error in her effort to find a solution to preventing her super-powered mind-swapping with Devil Dinosaur.  Things went wrong and it all resulted in Devil D being transformed from a savage tyrannosaurus into a savage nine-year-old boy.  Which is worse?  

From the creative team of Brandon Montclare, Natacha Bustos and Tamra Bonvillain.  Quick recap and review following the jump.

Things have been rather hectic over at the Lower East Side elementary school, PS20.  The new mayor, The villainous Wilson ‘The Kingpin’ Fisk, is threatening to shut the school down unless the students perform especially well on a set of standardized tests; the Kingpin’s adopted daughter, Princess, has enrolled and appears dead-set on making sure these tests are not passed; and now there is an especially odd new student with red hair and crazy eyes named Devin, whom Lunella tries to convince the others is a family friend from Canada.  

Well, Devin may look like a normal little boy, but he is still very much a dinosaur at heart and he knows bad news when he sees it.  Princess approaches and Devin leaps forward to attack her.  It takes everything Lunella has to keep Devin at bay and make sure that serious trouble doesn’t ensue.  

Of course ‘serious trouble’ is among Lunella’s friend, Eduardo’s most favorite things and he decides to set things off by swatting Princess’ backside with an oversized copy of the Fantastic Four omnibus.  

Pandemonium ensues and before you know it, Devin is standing atop the desks roaring king of the jungle style.  It’s good stuff… pretty much how I recall primary school being like...  

Later, Lunella has an after school meal with her grandparents at Yancy Burger.  This apparently is a twice-monthly affair where Lunella gets to send time with both of her sets of grandparents, her mom’s parents and her dad’s parents.  Which should be nice although both Lunella’s grandmothers spend a lot of time arguing over which of their two children Lunella most takes after.  And they’re all confused as to why Lunella has chosen to bring along this poor-mannered redheaded…

Lunella seems rather intrigued to hear that she so reminds her grandparents of her own parents when they were her age.  It’s been so difficult for her to relate to her mom and dad; the idea that they were kind of like her in their youth is quite appealing to her.  

Unfortunately, Lunella cannot stick around to discuss the matter further.  Devin has gone and snuck off and Lunella has to chase after him, making up some lame excuse as to why she needs to bail out.  

Devin has wondered down the street and finds Zoe and Eduardo chatting with Princess.  Princess is especially annoyed that Devin has shown up.   She’s desperate for attention, they had all been talking about her and now Devin has appeared to steel her spotlight.  Not to mention that Devin is always trying to attack her.  

Zoe has an idea as to why this may be.  She’s heard that sometimes little kids will be mean toward other kids because they have crushes on them and don’t really know how to deal with it… they very much want their crush’s attention, but don’t know how to garner it other than by being mean and bullying (she ain’t wrong).  And Zoe adds that this is likely why Eduardo is often so brash toward her…  which pretty much freezes Eduardo in his tracks….   Oooooh!  Eduardo has a crush on Zoe!!

In any case, Princess likes this idea.  Of course Devin has a crush on her.  Who wouldn’t?     Princess’ good mood is once more soured when Lunella shows up to collect Devin.  

Lunella is the one person whom Princess hates the most… she receives all the attention, respect and approbation that princess so covets.  

After Lunella and Devin leaves, Princess asks Zoe and Eduardo why they so like Lunella.  What does Lunella have that Princess doesn’t?  The two explain that Lunella is smart and she’s a super hero, and she saved the city a couple time, saved the whole planet… plus she has her own dinosaur.  hard to compete with that….

Later that evening, Wilson Fisk returns to the mayoral mansion to find his adoptive daughter in a foul mood.  He’s given her everything a little girl could want (outside of actual parental attention) what more could she want?  Princess makes it very clear exactly what it is she wants: her own dinosaur…  

That’s a tough request, yet the Kingpin is used to getting his way and if his daughter wants a dinosaur then a dinosaur she shall have.

The next day, Lunella has discovered that Devin has once more gone missing.  She dons her Moon Girl outfit and uses her specialized tracking device to seek him out.  Unfortunately, her device is meant to track down big red dinosaurs and doesn’t work as well for redheaded nine-year-old boys…

Suddenly she hears Devin’s ersatz roar and chooses the sound into a nearby ally.  Here she finds Devin held in the clutches of the nefarious Wrecking Crew, a team of super powered villains who have faced off against the likes of The Hulk and the Mighty Thor.  They are big time bad news and it appears abundantly clear they have been hired by The Kingpin to get to Lunella and take from her Devil Dinosaur so that he might be offered up to Princess.  Oh boy…

And it is here that the issue comes to its cliffhanger conclusion, with the promise of continuation in the next installment.  As to how Moon Girl will be able to go up against The Wrecking Crew without the assistance of Devil D is difficulty to try and figure out.  Brains beats brawn most of the time, but this is a whole lot of brawn and may very well prove too much for Moon Girl’s brains.  Looking forward to seeing how Lunella navigates through this one!

Yet another fun ride…   Not a good deal of action, but it’s made up for by a lotto fun bits and character development for both Lunella and the books extended cast.

some disjointed thoughts:

Younger kids do indeed quite often have a hard time expressing their ‘liking’ a peer; and this does frequently lead to them being mean or bullying in a clumsy effort to gain their crush’s attention.  And though Devin does not have a crush on Princess, it’s been clear for a while that Eduardo has a bit of a sneaker for Zoe and I hope the ongoing narrative will explore this further in the future.

Lunella’s mom and dad have really struggled in finding a way to relate to their daughter and Lunella’s reaction to what her grandparents had to say offers up an avenue in which they might finally do so.  She seemed to really like the idea that her mom an ddad were like her when they were younger.  Her mom and dad need to stop trying to control Lunella and instead try to better empathize with her.  

Princess is a total brat, but she is not completely unsympathetic.  Her desire for attention and demands to get her way looks to be merely a defense, a stand-in for the parental support and containment she has been denied.  Being orphaned is a pretty traumatic affair and her bratty, near-despotic behavior can be seen as an understandable reaction to such a trauma.  All the things she demands of her adoptive father is merely smokescreen covering up a painfully insecure attachment.  Fisk doesn’t need to get her a dinosaur, he just needs to spend quality time with her and make her feel loved, contained and connected to.  

It looks like The Wrecking Crew has recruited a new member to fill in for Thunderball.  I wonder what her story is...

Taking a step away from the more light-hearted aspects of the issue, I was a little troubled by a certain aspect to the issue... 

So Devin’s wild behavior makes for a fun parallel for kids dealing with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder.  And yet it’s kind of a tough one if you look at it in greater depth.  Some cases of ADHD are connected to a neurological situation referred to as ‘hypofrontality.’   This is when there is lower-than-average levels of blood flow and metabolism in the frontal lobes of the brain.   The frontal lobes are sort of the executive branch of cognition… it’s where decisions are made, behavior is planned out, consequences are considered.  

Diminished activity in the frontal lobes can lead to impulsive behavior, difficulties paying attention, troubles resisting distraction.  Psychostimulant medications, like Ritilan or Concerta, act to compensate for the reduced activity in the frontal lobes.  The stimulant effect acts to speed up blood flow and metabolism throughout the brain, including the frontal lobes.  

While medication can be quite helpful for individuals coping with ADHD, I’ve achieved the same effect with many patients by way of cognitive-behavioral strategies and skill-building for executive functioning.   Combining psychotherapeutic skill-building with medication can allow for using a lower dose of the medication for a shorter period of time (which is good since there can be substantial side-effects to these medications).

Anyways, while it’s kind of fun to see Devin Dinosaur act like a kid dealing with ADHD, it’s not really a metaphor I want to get fully behind.  Tyrannosaurs have notoriously small brains, they’re not the sharpest knives in the paleontologic drawer.  Children and adults coping with ADHD and/or hypofrontality are not akin to dim-witted dinosaurs… their brains are not smaller nor less effective - they merely function in a different fashion.  

Sometimes, brain activity can be kind of a hydraulic thing… reduced neurological activity in the frontal lobes can quite often co-occur with heightened activities in other regions of the brain.  It can correlate to heightened activity in the temporal lobes, the parietal lobes, the limbic lobe.  This is why many individuals who struggle with scholastic work due to ADHD can excel in other areas… can be great athletes, awesome at video games, can be super creative and/or highly empathetic and sensitive souls.  

Then again, I guess Devil D is not your average dinosaur.  He’s not the mindless brute more often associated with a tyrannosaurs rex.  He’s intuitive, sensitive, loyal and good guy and very much a hero.  I might be overthinking all this.  I guess it could be fun for a kid with ADHD to see themselves reflected in Devin Dinosaur; and not feel offended that they are presented as akin to an animal.  

I’m rambling…

In any case, a fun read… once more excellently illustrated, beautifully colored… another highly recommended installment.  Four out of five Lockjaws! 

[moiraineswife]

Ooooh yes autistic!nesta is my favourite thing ever. Do u have any more thoughts/hdcs??? Also do you have any book recs with canon autistic characters???

-Thank u friend. Okay have some pure headcanons of what autistic!Nesta might be like as opposed to like my flimsy EVIDENCE headcanons of the previous post: (heavy nessian emphasis on some of these just because) (I’ve also ficced some of these before…just because I can, so if a few feel familiar that’s why) 

  -Nesta loving the library at the House of Wind because it’s quiet and calm. No loud noises to make her jump and get her back up, no overly bright lights, no people to try and navigate. Just quiet. Soft, comfortable chairs with nice textures and good books she can lose herself in for hours. She admits issues with sensory sensitivity sometimes (which have not been improved by her making) and Feyre arranges for the room to be warded to filter and mute sounds and bright lights and scents so she gets a nice little controlled safe space that means the world to her. 

  -I still love Nesta reading romance books to try and get a handle on her relationship with Cass but I love even more when she goes as far as making scripts with them. She isn’t quite sure how to approach this herself but she can take on a role and mimic someone else (even if she feels a bit foolish). 

Cassian is…Baffled but he’s a switched on bat and he figures out what she’s doing quite quickly and does his best to play along and not make her feel self-conscious or uncomfortable. She’s trying to ask him out on a date and even if she’s going about it in a slightly odd way…She’s trying, he isn’t going to ruin it for her. 

(He does manage to gently tell her that he just wants her to be her, okay, he didn’t fall in love with some soppy heroine from her romance books, he fell for her, that’s all he wants. But he does it super tactfully so she doesn’t feel weird. He’s a good soul.) 

  -Speaking of researching aspects of her relationship with Cassian this definitely includes sex. She knows how it goes, basically, but she’s still afraid of somehow doing something Wrong and the solution to that is to find out as much as she possibly can about the subject. She probably tries books again but she gets quickly irritated with how wishy-washy they are on the subject, she doesn’t want elegant metaphors here, she wants the gory details. 

She ends up cornering Azriel and sitting him down and telling him that she wants to talk about sex. Az is..A bit confused but she’s blunt and to the point and explains things as best she can and he takes pity on her and does his best to put her at ease (and also ropes Mor into helping asap because she’s much better at this sort of thing (she is)) 

  -Once they’ve had sex, Nesta likes Cassian remaining on top of her because pressure. He’s…A little bit bemused by this because well he’s quite big and quite heavy and she’s quite small and…delicate, but she growls at him something terrible when he tries to shift off of her so he just…well alright then, sweetheart. (Nesta loves his bear hugs for similar reasons. They spend a lot of time squishing each other) 

  -Nesta needs certain things to be done a certain way (like if she’s researching something - her books and notes are very deliberately ordered and people messing with that (even unintentionally) bothers her) She’s happiest when she can have her routines and plans done precisely the way she wants. (She can get a bit bothered by Cassian’s impulsiveness, especially on dates because NO WE ARE NOT GOING TO JUST GO AND QUICKLY CHECK OUT THAT MARKET, WE HAVE DINNER RESERVATIONS FOR 7.14 AND WE ARE PRECISELY ON TIME FOR THEM NOW. NO DETOURS THAT WILL MESS EVERYTHING UP. CASSIAN NO. They solve this by letting Nesta have her dates be organised and perfectly planned while Cassian’s are more impulsive (if he isn’t actually disrupting any of her set plans she doesn’t mind because following his plan was her plan and that’s fine)) 

  -Nesta loves the rain, the sound of it and watching it. Same with the Sidra. It’s soothing, watching the water. She likes to nestle into Cassian and watch it and he has no problem with this at all. 

  -Nesta having super intense interests in things like history, certain plays, books etc that she will talk about endlessly. (She bonds with Rhys over a lot of these things, he’s perfectly happy to let her talk and engage with him, especially when he’s nearly as passionate about them as she is) 

  -Nesta having a deep love for calligraphy. 

  -Nesta continuing to wear the dresses that were typical for her in the human realm because the fabrics/shapes of the clothes at the Night Court bother her and the familiarity of those clothes is comfortable and comforting. 

-Nesta having meltdowns sometimes when she overloads because there’s Too Much sensory input, especially with her new fae senses. Cassian is very good at recognising what’s happening and helping her. He blocks out as much of the sensory input as he can and makes sure not to touch her but stays close for when she needs him, and will sometimes talk to her to help calm her down. Then he cuddles her because nice, soothing pressure stims help her fully calm down again. 

-Nesta being hypersensitive to cold therefore Cassian must keep her warm and wrapped up in a bat burrito at all times, like this is an emergency, Cassian, I need to be cuddled for my health, can you not see this!? Cassian just...Can’t find a way to complain about this. 

-Nesta taking a trip to the Dawn Court and meeting Nuan, who recognises Nesta’s experiences and quietly tells her that that there’s a word for what she is, and that she’s not alone. 

Nesta cuts the trip a little short so she can go home to Cassian. She cries in his arms for half the night because finally, she finally understands herself. They research autism together so they can both learn to understand it and how to best help Nesta cope. Nesta is a little surprised by Cassian’s enthusiasm and level of interest in the subject which he’s a little bemused by because this is a huge part of who she is and he wants to understand it/her better. 

-Nesta accepting and embracing herself and her autism and not apologising for a single piece of her and just god bless. 

As for book recs with canon autistic characters that are well written the only ones I can actually think of off the top of my head are both by Brandon Sanderson.

 The second Mistborn trilogy Alloy of Law has a lady autistic (!!!!) called Steris who is particularly dear to me and has a lovely little arc. The Stormlight Archive series has Renarin Kholin who has made me squeal repeatedly bc of visible autistic traits/coping mechanisms and I’m really excited for him hopefully having a much bigger role in upcoming books. 

Sanderson is an allistic writer, I believe, and I’m aware he’s made mistakes with regards to his autistic rep in earlier works. But I’m also aware that he’s actually listened to the autistic community and worked to correct those mistakes and Steris and Renarin are both pretty fucking awesome as far as autistic rep goes (and there isn’t NEARLY enough of that, in any form of media) bless his heart.

As a note neither series focuses exclusively on Renarin or Steris and I didn’t read either series for the autistic rep in them (that was just a bonus) but they’re both definitely worth reading for the rep and just bc they’re awesome, awesome books.  

[queenieskamander]

Killjoys, make some noise -Ch.2

Gang/post-apo!AU (requested)  

Member: Jimin (mention of other members)  

Genre: Fluff. Smut, a little bit of everything…

Sumarry: This AU is based around the lives of the “Killjoys”, a group of rebellious rogues living in a post-apocalyptic Seoul. The Killjoys are a group of outlaws who are fighting against the evil corporation Better Living Industries (BL/ind.) and its various “Draculoids” and executors, such as Korse.

Prologue    Ch.1 

It is a time to start a new life

Jimin’s p.o.v

I was awakened by a loud noise, something like a school bell. After a while I heard a very familiar female voice.   -Hey, wake up! You have one hour to get ready. Your first class is in the hall downstairs. Come one!!- She said briskly I opened my eyes, muttering something. I got up slowly, looking around me. My room wasn’t very big, but bright and clean. Just enough space for two people.   Jungkook dragged himself from his bed, tiresomely opening his suitcase and taking some clothes from it. -Im going first to the bathroom, ok?- He wasn’t really waiting for me to answer. I brushed my hair with my fingers, making even bigger mess on my head. I went to the window, pulling the blinds. I opened the balcony door and I went outside. I felt dry and crispy air. I leaned against the railing, looking at view in front of me. Maybe we were on the desert, but there were a lot of plants (trees, flowers, shrubs, grass). My eyes caught disputes pool and sunbeds,tables with chairs, large stone grill around it. However, there was a designated area for volleyball and football. It felt like a holiday resort by the sea. On the left and on the right side stretched balconies. Tae and Y/N had a room on the right side from us.   -Jimin, we must go now. We still need to eat something.- My brother said with a big smile on his face. Its not like I need to go to bathroom too… It is a Time to start a new life All ‘students’ were standing next to a big doors. We hoped that we came to the right place. Nobody here was  eager to explain anything to us . Exactly when the clock struck nine, the door opened. We saw a well known blond lady, she was wearing bright pink t-shirt and ripped, skinny jeans.   -Hello, you can come inside- She said happily as she went straight to her desk- First of all, you have to choose a partner with whom you will be sit- she continued- BUT, You cant sit with you room-mate- class became quite again- Stop looking at me like than, you need know each other better. Come one, I do not have all day- I looked around me How Im going to choose a partner when I dont know people here… -Jungkook…   -Tea…- Great, even my brother found partner. Wait…How could I forgot about Taehyung and his sister?   -Hey Jimin, do you want to be my partner?- That voice…so beautiful… It took me a while to realized that was Y/N. -Yeah…Sure-  Just dont do anything stupid -Great- did she just smirked at me? -Hello everybody- Stella said to us, again…- My name is Toxic Poison- Everybody were surprised, including me- And no, this is not my real name. This is a nickname- no shit Sherlock- You need to choose a nickname for you. You must forget you real name- She looked at us sternly. No one dared to speak. She wasn’t joking. -For your safety, and for safety of you family -How forgetting our name is going to help?- The girl with dark-red hair asked shyly. From what I associate, her name was Minji. Shit. We have to forget our names -Better Living is dangerous place, but government is even more dangerous- Toxic Poison explained, walking around us.Everybody were looking at her- If they will find out your identity,they might arrest your families or…even kill them-  She stopped for a second- Thats why you need your nicknames. Something short and catchy, easy to remember. Understood? - Everybody were quite, listening her carefully- I asked about something. Understood? -Yes!!- Everybody said at the same time. 90% of people here, looked like a typical punks. Born to fight against government. -Good…tomorrow, you have to come in with you new name-She looked around the room with warmer look that before.-And now, please tell me…How do you understand words ‘Art is weapon’?-   Art is weapon? I thought. Suddenly I remembered that I saw this slogan over the main entrance. I raised my hand shyly, feeling the startled eyes of Stella and a few other people. -Yes?- -I think…word 'weapon’ is a…a metaphor.- I said slowly- Better living have their 'perfect system’, exactly how they want. Everything is monotonous. Even their uniforms are the same.  They are white without any dirt on it. Art is an opposite of it. Expressing of your feelings, using your imagination, do not caring about the opinion of others…- I shrugged my shoulders-  It might be use an a weapon against BL. At least I think so. -  Toxic smiled and me widely -Thats right Jimin- I looked at her with a surprise- What? You should believe in yourself more- She laughed- Coming back to the art, thats why we asked you to bring with you things related to arts…Please develop your skills in your free time. You have to have a lot of imagination to fight against the Better Living. -So we are going to fight?- Boy with green hair asked, narrowing his eyes -Some of you…yes- Toxic said looking at all of us- We will selecting you according to your your results, performance and behavior. I should take couple of weeks. Exercises, theoretical lessons, practical lessons…- We all straightened up, hearing about the “practical lessons.” The girl with dark blue hair raised her hand -Yes?- -why were we chosen?- that was a good question. I was thinking about it couple of times-First of all, we were looking for teenagers which could come here without arousing suspicion- Toxic immediately explained. I think she was ready to give an answer to every question- But  we could take everybody. I know i might sound weird, but we know about you more that you can expect- She smiled mysteriously and I felt anxiety.- We looked also at your assessment and behaviour, but in the school they have a different appreciation than here. We need a rebellious people who want to re-build the old system and who are not afraid of danger. -Apparently we will have here a normal lessons here- said the blue haired boy, probably Brandon. - If I will  have insufficient assessment of maths, you are going to punish me by making me to write 100 times 'I will be a better student’?- he mocked. Toxic did not seem to be  surprise about his comment. -No, it would be a waste of time. You wont write a single word. - she said, smiling at him- The punishment for unacceptable behaviour, or very bad academic results will be, for example…-she wondered- Taking away a laser gun, ban on driving, ban going out on a mission…- She began to exchange. All were silent, looking at her. Her coral lips twitched into a smile again. -Before I will let you go, I want to raise another topic concerning art. Jimin come here.- She looked in my direction. Surprised, I got up from the place and went to her, standing in front of all gathered.- This clothes- She pointed at my black clothes- Are unaccepted -Excuse me?- I asked, slightly confused. Why she is doing this to me… -'Art is a weapon’, Jimin- She said slowly and distinctly, later bursting into laughter.- You have to be dressed colourfully. I hope this is note a problem for you-We all looked at each other smiling foolishly-We have a few types of hair dyes, some different materials, sewing machines. You will find something for you. The basics are explained, the rest of the day you have free. If you have questions, come to me. In the meantime, look around the centre. Of course you can enjoy all the attractions: swimming, volleyball, football, everything what you will find. The whole area is at your disposal. You can go now.- People started to get up from their places- I’ll see you tomorrow, in front of the main entrance, also at nine. Your homework is to work on the style and come up with a nickname- She smiled at us widely- Have a nice day, Killjoys.-What do you think about all of it?- Y/N asked few hours later, when we were all sitting in the canteen, lazily taking food out of cans.  BL controlled even what we were eating. Idiots.- These guns sound … wow. Amazing…- She said appreciatively. Some hair agreed with her, nodding. I leaned back in my chair, crossing my legs. -I don’t know..- I said doubtfully- Guns … I do not think they give us real guns…- - And why not?- Brandon asked, looking at me like an idiot.- We have to fight with them. We are not going to beat them by showing them our drawing or playing guitar- He laughed           -Stop- I snapped- You would be able to kill a man? -Draculoids are not people, and you know that- Tae said- But I agree with you, it is easy to kill anyone. -It sounds to me more and more like a fucking, suicide mission- I heard Kookie who was sitting next to Taehyung- The longer im here, the more I gain certainty that he would never return home. -You are right…- Minji murmured- Better Living probably soon will know all about us and…they might kill us…Thats got it will end- She throw her legs on the table- But I’m staying here anyway- She said with determined voice- I have no home to go back. They killed my family… -Minji…- Y/N spoke gently, after a while of silence. -Shhhh, I just want you to know that Better Living kills people- She looked at us seriously  and then he stared at me- So yes, Jimin, I think I’d be able to kill Draculoid -If you put it that way…-I murmured -YESSS!!!- Eunji scream with Joohyun- We will Destroy Better Living, they have no chance with us!! Will kill Korse? -YESS!!!- Everybody were busy screaming some random slogan. Only me and Y/N we quiet.  

Should I continue this story?

[grahammsheppardinc]

Another opinionated jerk makes a top ten movies of 2016 list!

Hey everybody and welcome back to my often neglected blog. It’s been even more neglected this year due to me finally figuring out how to use Instagram. This has been a really, really, really good year for movies. Don’t let the haters bring you down, there was a lot of good stuff this year. For the first time in a long time my list isn’t heavily populated with independent genre work (although I always argue all film is genre). 

My one cravat as always is that I include festival films that might not have opened wide. This year it’s only one film I think.

Anyways without further adieu:

TOP TEN FILMS OF 2016

1. CHRISTINE

written by Craig Shilowich; directed by Antonio Campos; staring Rebecca Hall, Michael C. Hall, Tracy Letts

This film stuck with me long after watching it. Even now I can’t really get it out of my head. Not to be confused with Kate Plays Christine which also examines the story of television journalist Christine Chubbuck who famously, or rather infamously, committed suicide live on air in 1974. This film is not an entirely joyless watch, and it’s care and craft with the tragic story is stunning.

Rebecca Hall (who I’d somehow never seen in anything before) gives a performance that is so nuanced that you completely understand the depression that hangs over her, and makes her suicide less of shocking event and more of a soft sad gradual ending. 

2. NEON DEMON

written by Mary Laws, Polly Stenham, Nicholas Winding Refn; directed by Nicholas Winding Refn; staring Elle Fanning, Jena Malone, Abbey Lee, Bella Heathcote

Haters are gonna hate. That’s the best way to describe the critical reaction to this movie. I don’t want all my thoughts to be about the reaction the film had at Cannes and afterwards but it definitely defined the conversation around this film. 

Hopefully with time an audience will find the film and appreciate it for what it is: pure style and attitude. It’s a punk rock middle finger to the male gaze. 

3. COLOSSAL

written & directed by Nacho Vigalondo; staring Anne Hathaway, Jason Sudeikius, Tim Blake Nelson, Dan Stevens, Austin Stowell

The single most original film I’ve seen this year. It’s a film about addiction and the effect it has on giant monsters destroying South Korea. I’m not saying anything else because that would ruin the sheer joy of watching this film.

4. HELL OR HIGH WATER

written by Taylor Sheridan; directed by David MacKenzie; staring Chris Pine, Ben Foster, Jeff Bridges, Gil Birmingham

Truly the first great modern-time western since Vanishing Point in the 70s. I’d argue it’s even a better western than No Country For Old Men. One of probably the best portraits of the current American financial landscape, it tells the tale of two brothers (Pine & Foster) who take to robbing banks in order to pay of the mortgage on their late mother’s farmland, while being pursued by two Texas Ranges (Bridges & Birmingham). 

The scene that sums up terrible situation that the brothers find themselves in is when they attempt to take a bank only to find that it has been shut down due to lack of business. 

It could be read as a metaphor for the current financial wasteland that millennials (Pine & Foster) have been born into and the omnipresent crush of the baby boomers and generation x (Bridges & Birmingham) that is damaging the economy beyond repair. And it has shootouts and car chases!

5. LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP

adapted & directed by Whit Stillman; staring Kate Beckinsale, Chloe Sevigny, Morfydd Clark, Xavier Samuel, Stephen Fry

Whit Stillman always took great inspiration from Jane Austen’s work. Much of his loose comedy of manners trilogy (Metropolitan, Barcelona, Last Days of Disco) would fit right alongside Pride and Prejudice or Emma and would be far more accessible to modern audiences.

This is probably the best (in my opinion only) adaptation of Austen’s work. It’s (as far as I know) the only adaptation of her short novel “Lady Susan.” Beckinsale plays the titular Lady Susan who flirts, gossips, backstabs, and snarks her way through Britain attempting to secure financial security for herself   (and possibly her daughter if by accident). 

Don’t let the period pedigree fool you: this is a hilarious comedy first and foremost. It succeeds where nearly all other Austen adaptations fail because Stillman embraces the terrible way the characters treat each other and minimizes the too-precious romance that sinks most other adaptations of her work. 

6. BLAIR WITCH

written by Simon Barrett; directed by Adam Wingard; staring James Allen McCune, Callie Hernandez, Brandon Scott, Corbin Reid, Wes Robinson, Valorie Curry

At some point it became trendy to crap on any film that was a long late sequel. Especially a sequel to a cultural juggernaut like The Blair Witch Project. A lot of people wrote this film off as a warmed over retread of the original. To be honest I’m sure most of those people didn’t actually see the movie. Or if they did they went in with mind made up and refused to admit that this movie is pretty damned good. And very damned scary.

I caught it at Midnight Madness at the 2016 Toronto International Film Festival. Only the hardest of the hardcore go to those screenings and the place was terrified. 

The team behind the ludicrously awesome films “You’re Next” and “The Guest” (Barrett & Wingard) made a balls-to-the-wall horror show with their Blair Witch. The audience will feel totally beaten up by the end of this movie and leave questing their safety in society.

7. THE NICE GUYS

written by Anthony Bagarozzi & Shane Black; directed by Shane Black; staring Ryan Gosling, Russel Crowe, Angourie Rice

It’s Shane Black doing a gumshoe hardboiled detective story set in grimy 1970s Los Angeles set during Christmas. If I need to say more: you guys are jerks.

8. THE WITCH

written & directed by Robert Eggers; staring Anya Taylor-Joy, Ralph Ineson, Kate Dickie, Harvey Scrimshaw, Ellie Grainger, Lucas Dawson

The genius of this movie is that there are no real twists in it; yet it’s wholly (holy?) satisfying. A family of devout Christians are exiled and isolated, and are driven to distrustful paranoia when a coven of witches and the most evilest goat ever to grace the screen target them. A satanic bunny kills a dog and a woman mistakes a crow for her infant son. It’s got everything!

Haunting, horrifying, and beautiful this film is so captivating that it was equally praised by theologians and satanists. It’s mystifying and mysterious in how good of a film it is.

9. LA LA LAND

written & directed by Damien Chazelle; staring Ryga Gosling, Emma Stone, John Legend

Haters are gonna hate, but this movie is simply great. 

A musical that finally breaks free of the Andrew Lloyd Webber/Tim Rice/jukebox musical crappola that we’ve had to deal with since the 70s. You don’t walk away remembering any songs, because the film never comes to a stop to say “here’s a song!”

 The music actually is integral to the emotion and character of the story. And it’s quite good too. And maybe now I kinda like jazz?

10. HUSH

written by Kate Siegel & Mike Flanagan; directed by Mike Flanagan; staring Kate Siegel, John Gallagher Jr., Samantha Sloyan, Michael Trucco

Make no bones about it: this is a mean movie. It’s got one of the most clever concepts I’ve ever seen: how would a deaf mute woman defend herself against a home invader?

It’s gripping and tense and you just want the lead character of Maddie (Kate Siegel) to survive and defeat her assailant (John Gallagher Jr.). The movie is essentially just the two of them trying to outsmart one another while both deal with Maddie’s handicap.

It’s just scary enough while never crossing over into the hardcore horror territory the would alienate mainstream audiences.

--------------------       ------------------------         -------------------------

So, that’s it. Sorry it’s a little late. I still haven't seen everything I wanted to see that came out last year. And I should have included Everybody Wants Some!! somewhere but whatever.

Stay scared.

-G

January 2017

[newyorktheater]

Is a show that’s in bad taste necessarily a bad show? Is a tasteful show always better?

The three full productions from the first week of the 16thannual New York Musical Festival suggest some answers to these questions.

  Illuminati Lizards from Outer Space

Dani Spieler as the beauty pageant queen and Brian Charles Rooney as David the Janitor, an undercover agent

Dani Spieler, Edward French, Daisy Hobbs, Joshua Hobbs

Daisy Hobbs, Emily Cramer, Celia Mei Rubin, Dani Spieler

Tina is a beauty queen who is dethroned when the pageant organizer accuses her of being an “illegal alien” – she’s from Canada.  She winds up at Savra Wellness Centre for Spiritual and Mental Wellbeing, which is actually a front for a group of lizard aliens from outer space who were sent to colonize the planet Earth. They’ve bungled their mission, and their boss lizard back at their home planet has given them just a week more before he sends space ships to destroy Earth.  Tina, who is initially unaware they are alien lizards (they’re disguised as human), organizes a pageant for ugly people in order to lure the mass of human beings into the lizards’ lair.

Little evident effort has gone into making the plot even remotely coherent. I suppose this would matter less if more of the jokes were funny, or fewer of the songs (both the pop rock music and the lyrics) were so generic, or if the show’s attempts at parody were pointed. But, with the exception of an unexpected resolution, there is not much fresh or sharp by the creative team of book writer/lyricist Paul Western-Pittard and composer/arranger Yuri Worontschak idea; their idea of political wit is a passing reference to “an Orangutan who thinks it’s president.” The quality cast does what it can, especially in some powerhouse singing, but for all their talents, “Illuminati Lizards from Outer Space” feels  pointless. It’s also close to witless, and occasionally tasteless. In one song, one of the alien lizards sings:

“Swinging it every which way is really ok,

Trans, kinky, les, and gay

Bi, bi alien all the way

Try try an alien all the way.”

  It’s unlikely that the lyricists meant to dismiss gay people and lesbians as equivalent to kinky alien reptiles. They simply didn’t think this through…like most of the show.

It’s hard to understand why NYMF organizers made “Illuminati Reptiles from Outer Space” the opening production of the festival.

  Illuminati Lizards from Outer Space, Signature Theatre Center. Remaining showtime: Saturday July 13 at 9 p.m.

  Buried

Lindsay Manion,Rebecca Yau,Sebastian Belli

Rebecca Yau, Wilf Walsworth,Lindsay Manion

Sebastian Belli, Lindsay Manion (1)

Lindsay Manion, Sebastian Belli

Talk about bad dates. Rose poisons all of hers – until she meets Harry, who stabs all of his. The two serial killers thwart their mutual assassination attempt, and instead get to know one another: He reminisces that his first kill was the family cat (“they showed him more love than to me”); hers, she sings, was her drunken, abusive father.

“Just like me in another body,” they sing together about each other, in marvel.

They begin dating, together picking up hitchhikers to kill them, but have a lovers’ quarrel when Rose fails to kill a teenage girl who reminds her of herself at that age.

The romantic coupling of two killers is not novel, but previously, the approach has been outrageously dark comedy like the 1985 movie “Prizzi’s Honor” with Kathleen Turner and Jack Nicholson, the 1989 movie “The War of the Roses” with Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas, and “Mr. and Mrs. Smith,” the 2005 Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie vehicle that doubled as an action thriller. “Buried” instead is a jarring mix of  tones.  Its nine songs are mostly lilting melodies with well-crafted lyrics that are often poignant. Most would fit any serious love story, which provokes a nagging question: Is that what “Buried” is supposed to be?

The creative team of Tom Williams and Cordelia O’Driscoll at times uses the incongruity in what seems like a blunt and awkward attempt at a large metaphor. Rose tells Harry she is a vegan, and she sees no contradiction in this,  launching into a rant about the African children who mine cobalt for cell phones, working 12-hour shifts and dying from the exposure. “From where I’m standing, everyone’s guilty of murder. We’re just the only ones with the balls to enjoy it. They’re the fucking hypocrites. “

Interspersed with the scenes between Rose and Harry (and their victims), are segments supposedly from a television series entitled “The Psychopath Next Door” in which the host and a scientist discuss what sounds like actual research into psychopathology, including whether and how psychopaths can love. But there is a jokey feel to these segments, which is confusing, and they end in a twist that is even more confusing and, yes, in bad taste – offering a more explicit illustration of what’s more subtly problematic in the musical as a whole.

Buried. Signature Theater Center. Remaining showtimes: Saturday at 5 pm, Sunday at 1 pm.

  Ladyship

Ladyship 2 Ensemble Cast photo by Russ Rowland

Ladyship 1 Noelle Hogan (Kitty), Caitlin Cohn (Mary Reed) and Maddie Shea Baldwin (Alice Reed) LadyShip_photo by Russ Rowland

Ladyship 3 Caitlin Cohn (Mary Reed) and Jordon Bolden (Marcus “Finn” Findley) in LadyShip photo by Russ Rowland

Ladyship 4 Maddie Shea Baldwin (Alice Reed), Caitlin Cohn (Mary Reed), Noelle Hogan (Kitty), and ennifer Blood (Lady Jane Sharp) LadyShip_photo by Russ Rowland

Ladyship 5 Trevor St. John-Gilbert (Lieutenant Brandon Adams), Quentin Oliver Lee (Captain Josiah Adams) and Justin R.G. Holcomb (Zeke Cropper) in LadyShip photo by Russ Rowland

Jennifer Blood as Lady Jane Sharp and Quentin Oliver Lee as Captain Josiah Adams

  Alice and Mary are teenage sisters from Ireland who are living in poverty in London in 1789. Out of hunger, they shoplift two handkerchiefs,  and are sentenced to seven years …in Australia. This, incredibly, was the fate of some 25,000 18th century British women who were deported to Australia for petty crimes under the Transportation Act. At the time the law was reportedly promoted as a humane alternative to incarceration in London’s brutal prisons, but, according to Ladyship, it was a part of a plan hatched between the government and private enterprise to provide brides for the out-of-control men already in the Australian penal colony and thus tame them.

Alice and Mary are sent on a ship with 200 other female prisoners – represented by four actresses portraying a cross-section: a 11-year-old street-smart Scottish orphan, a sassy middle-aged wit, an overworked mother separated from her children, an aristocratic woman done in by her gambling husband. Together they endure hardships during the long voyage, some of it inflicted by the men on board – represented by four actors, who portray variously respectful characters or brutes.

Ladyship is told insome 20 songs, one more lively or lovely than the one before it, accompanied by a trio of violin, guitar and piano. The duets are a particular treat (which makes sense, since the composers/creators are twin sisters Laura Good and Linda Good, who perform as the musical duo The Twigs): I Need An Anchor, between the aristocrat Lady Jane and the decent and deep-voiced Captain;  Ready to Begin, between Mary and Finn, the nicest and sexiest of the seaman; and No Matter Where I’m Bound, between Alice and Mary, which reflects what could be called the uplifting, protofeminist solidarity in much of the score:

MARY:

Do you remember running

faster than the river twirling like the leaves as they fell down racing up the hills from the tide and God was on our side

ALICE:

I remember running chasing all the chickens I could never settle down ma said, you’re so strong for a girl

BOTH:

Too strong for this world

I’ll be better as long as you’re around

Stronger together no matter where we’re bound

  Those aboard dance at one point a pleasing Scottish reel. The show even includes the most melodic birth scene I’ve ever witnessed.

But the ten-month ordeal that the women face begins to take its toll on me as well. I think I understand why it is that the Goods chose to set their musical almost entirely aboard ship (save for some opening scenes on the streets of London and in a courthouse) – why the show ends before the women reach shore. But it starts to feel claustrophobic, the songs and situations coming off as too much the same. These sails could be trimmed.

Still, “Ladyship” seems sure to travel. If everything about it feels so tasteful – the costumes, the women’s demeanor, the evocative lyrics, even the harshness and despair – good taste turns out to be a good thing.

Ladyship at Signature Theater Center. Remaining showtimes: Saturday at 1 pm., Sunday at 5 p.m. and 9 p.m

NYMF Reviews: Illuminati Lizards from Outer Space, Buried, Ladyship Is a show that’s in bad taste necessarily a bad show? Is a tasteful show always better?

[becomingherocomic]

Becoming Hero

You live in a #scifi! How will you save the world? #superheroalert

I’m writing from the past to tell you that YOU live in the future.

I don’t mean that metaphorically. You live in a wild science fiction world that many people can’t even imagine, and you can impact and change that scifi tale if you want. Let me show you. Or, as a freaky man once put it, “I’d like to play a game.” Tell me which of these three technology scenarios is in development–or already working!–right now.

Home-grown Pancreas

Formaldehyde and the scent of blood assaulted Prakriti’s nostrils as she entered the lab. Her eyes widened; her stomach leapt, maybe not into her throat, but it certainly leapt somewhere. Body parts littered the room in petri dishes and vats, and in the center of the room a man with a stained lab coat was handing her brother a wad of cash.

“No!” Prakriti cried. “No, we’re not that tight on money–we’ll get through, you don’t need to sell your kidney!”

“Kriti, what the–how’d you find me here?” her brother gasped.

“Been trailing you since Mongolia, through Tibet–everywhere. Please, don’t–”

He crossed the room and gripped her shoulders. She pushed away; he yanked her in for a hug. “Kriti, listen. I’m not selling my kidney. I’m selling a few stem cells, that’s it, and Reshad’s gonna grow me a whole new pancreas to replace the silly diabetic one I was born with. He’ll publish the results, and people world over will be growing organs!”

“That’s impossible,” Prakriti cried. “Please, let’s just go. Come back home, face the disease and stop running! We’ll–we’ll find a way to pay for medications.”

“I refuse to live that life. I’m willing to gamble for a better one.” He flicked her a two-finger salute and disappeared into the surgical room. “See you in Mumbai.”

What did you guess? Real, not real? Is he seriously getting a new-grown pancreas? Well, he is! We’ve totally done this. Again and again. Even with vaginas! We can grow organs now!

Dinosaur DNA

I cocked back the slide on both pistols, listening for that sweet click and pop as the tranquilizer darts prepped in their barrels.

“You’ll have one shot at Dr. Schillenberg through the window when you fall past the Tower of Terror. Miss that, and you gotta trek your way back up a roller coaster more rickety than a house o’ cards made o’ toilet paper.”

I smirked. “I’ll keep that in mind.” I strapped on my parachute and dove out the plane.

Wind slammed me in the face as I rocketed towards the abandoned theme park. Popped my chute; aimed my pistols; floated by the open window–

It was empty. “Whoohoo, soldier!” someone called. I glanced down. My heart just about stopped then and there. The woman in a lab coat, below me, she was–she was–

I tapped my finger to the radio embedded in my ear. “Uh, command, we got a problem. Schillenberg’s ready for us. And, uh, she’s riding a freakin’ T-rex.”

“You know what to do, soldier.”

I grimaced; pulled my rifle off my leg as I floated towards them. Hell if I’m gonna talk back to Jones, but I really DIDN’T know what to do. They don’t teach you to kill dinosaurs in Afghanistan.

This is the odd one out, right? Viable dinosaur DNA can’t survive fossilization.

Or so we thought. A few years back, scientists found fresh, viable tissue inside dino bones (1, 2) , which of course stunned us all since we know soft-tissue decays far too fast to survive that long (3). It prompted all kinds of debate about the age of the fossils themselves (4), which you should totally check out if you get time. But for now, let’s bottom-line it: we can’t make dinosaurs yet because we’re not sure we have the right creatures to splice their genes into, or enough intact DNA, but we’ve got blood! We’re much further into crazy scifi world than ever before.

Telepaths

Tanisha drew her shawl tighter over her head, doubly-masking the cap of wires hidden under her weave as she slipped into the drug-lord’s penthouse. Had to find out when and where this deal went down tomorrow. Leak that back to Anderson, and she’d win her revenge. She ducked into the closet, huddling between Armani suits that reeked of musk.

Click–apartment door opening. Hushed voices; Big Brandon’s booming laugh–but she couldn’t quite make out words–light stung her eyes–crap! The closet-door opened–Tanisha froze before a pale, hollow-eyed man and the barrel of a .44 magnum. “Looks like we got a rat, boss.”

Crap crap crap–Tanisha ground her teeth as Hollow Eyes yanked her out of the closet. He threw her in front of Big Brandon. The fat-ass mob boss stood arms akimbo and laughed. “Oh, hey, it’s–Taniqua? Tan-tan? Oh, you wanna correct me?”

Tanisha’s eyes blazed. Oh, yes she did.

“See how pissed off she is? But she can’t talk. Unfortunate accident, right, to her tongue, after her poor dead Momma ratted Daddy out. Tan-tan’s a living example of what happens when you betray me.” The mob boss leaned in; spittle soaked his rank breath. “And that example is the only reason you’re still living.” To his men– “Make sure she doesn’t leave the apartment. ‘Specially not around 3:30 tomorrow by Warehouse 33, right Tan-tan?” Big Brandon roared with laughter. His men glanced back and forth in confusion. “Oh, little family joke. My little girl was gonna report her Daddy to the cops just like her mom. But she’s not now. Handcuff her to the dresser, we’re moving out.

Tanisha struggled a little, and kept up the whole rebellious glare thing for a while, but the moment they shut the door behind them she unleashed her glee. Ha! She could scream her triumph from the rooftops. Dear Daddy didn’t know how he’d lost his last ten lieutenants to Officer Anderson. Dear Daddy didn’t know about telepathy. 

So yeah, Tanisha can communicate with Officer Anderson by telepathy. You totally don’t believe me. But the Army does. They put down $4 million dollars ondeveloping telepathic helmets, and they’re only fifteen to twenty years from completion. I KID YOU NOT. I am gonna be talkin’ to my kids via brain waves, no crap.

So, point made? You live in a ridiculous future scifi world. 

But it takes more than crazy settings and wild technology to make a good scifi story. You need a protagonist with a conflict. Unfortunately, in addition to the scifi setting, your world has conflict. 

Throughout your modern scifi world, there’s a rampant slavery epidemic washing across your nation, your continent, and your planet. I’m not building metaphors here, political or otherwise. The number of women, children, and men bought and sold as slaves for sex and forced labor right now throughout Africa, Europe, East Asia, and the Americas literally dwarfs everything you ever heard about ancient slavery. We need everyday citizens to learn how to identify and rescue human trafficking victims using resources like these (http://cmda.org/resources/publication/human-trafficking-continuing-education). We need cashiers, healthcare providers, moms at home, protagonists all around the planet to get these phone numbers into their cells (http://thecnnfreedomproject.blogs.cnn.com/2011/03/30/how-to-help-global-hotlines/). We need heroes to intern for rescue organizations like these (http://www.slaverynomore.org/organizations/), and eventually pursue long-term careers in catching the bad guys and recuperating the victims. You’re in a scifi world perhaps far greater than anything you ever read in a comic book or watched on TV, and we just need a protagonist to step in and make a difference.

Are you our scifi protagonist? Maybe your life’s more of a contemporary romance or drama, and I can’t force you into a genre swap. But maybe, just maybe, this post will reach someone who’s ready to take a leap into the real science fiction future. Who knows.

It’s a brave new world out there.

If you liked this, there will be more like it over at petrepan.blogspot.com!

(1) Schweitzer, M. H. et al. 2009. Biomolecular Characterization and Protein Sequences of the Campanian Hadrosaur B. Canadensis. Science. 324 (5927): 626-631

(2) Schweitzer, M. H. et al. 2013 Molecular analyses of dinosaur osteocytes support the presence of endogenous molecules. Bone. 52 (1): 414-423); see also Woodward, S. R., N. J. Weyand, and M. Bunnell. 1994. DNA Sequence from Cretaceous Period Bone Fragments. Science. 266 (5188): 1229-1232

(3) Allentoft, M. E. et al. 2012 The half-life of DNA in bone: measuring decay kinetics in 158 dated fossils.Proceedings of the Royal Society B. 279 (1748): 4224-4733.

(4) Compare two major debate articles http://creation.com/dinosaur-soft-tissue vs.http://discovermagazine.com/2006/apr/dinosaur-dna

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