#breakfast cereal mascots

[18catsreading]

Carolyn! You'll get a cereal purple heart for this

Brennan: A purple berry heart.

All: Oops, all hearts -- Eyyyy

[shilohta]

Apologies for the shitty image resolution but are you telling me that the sexy Mr. Mini Wheats with his fun badge and his red boots and white gloves and invisible limbs is a Canadian only thing?!

WHO IS THIS ILLUMINATION STUDIOS LOOKING SMUG SHIT. why teeth... I hate the twiggly fingers. Uncanny valley, would feel disturbed to eat a bowl of cereal with this thing staring at me

[atomic-chronoscaph]

Lucky Charms breaksfast cereal - TV commercial animation cels (1964)

[jeffpennington]

COUNT CHOCULA!

Number two in my cereal monsters series in honor of Halloween!

[fitsofgloom]

In A Big Country!

[artbyjasonleung]

Toucan Sam 🥣

[krissiefox]

Lesser known furry cereal mascots

[kply-industries]

[cerealfun]

[sariphantom]

Angry Snap? Angry Snap!

[sharky-the-idiot]

cereal

[coolclaytony]

A mascot horror game with mechanics like "Charlotte's Exile" (from The Dread X anthology), where you play a reporter investigating a sketchy cereal company and slowly unravel a mystery in which the brand's mascot is actually a distorted caricature of a forgotten pagan deity who demands child sacrifice in the form of poisoning.

[atomic-chronoscaph]

Tony the Tiger TV commercial animation cel - Kellogg’s Sugar Frosted Flakes (c. 1985)

[wilwheaton]

Who is the most punchable cereal mascot, in your opinion?

Well, after spending more time than I ever thought I would considering cereal mascots and their relative punchability, I have to honestly tell you I don't think I dislike any of them.

Like, all they wanted us kids to do was eat a regular (excuse me, "balanced") breakfast with an added bowl of cereal, and have fun while we were doing it. Some of them wanted to give us prizes, even!

And that poor Trix rabbit! He's obviously got a real addition problem, is constantly crying out for help, and every kid he encounters is like "Lol get the fuck outta here while I eat the thing you're addicted to as part of this balanced breakfast, you silly rabbit."

Now I wonder what the support group looks like for Cap'n Crunch, the Qwisp alien, Count Chocula, the bee from Honey Nut Cheerios, and Toucan Sam. Does anyone else really understand them and their lives? They're all alone, even when they are together. And it never ends.

How could you want to punch any of them? You monster!

[seat-safety-switch]

Have you ever wondered why it is that the cereal mascots never get the food they represent? When I was a kid, it was seen very frequently in commercials. You'd have a cutesy cartoon mascot who desires the product, but is foiled at every turn by bitter, entitled children who wish to hoard the wealth. There are many such examples: the Trix rabbit, the Honey Nut Cheerios bee, the Lucky Charms leprechaun. I could go on.

Why was this such a common theme? There are theories, but no concrete leads. Surely the Trix rabbit could share in the cereal with the children? When I started looking into this, I thought it was the traditional story. The unstoppable growth of market capitalism rubs up against the native residents of an area and their natural wealth of delicious breakfast cereal. Domination, exploitation, manifest destiny.

I was wrong. The truth of the matter is that, like breakfast cereal itself, the concept originated in ancient times. Fae of yore were widely understood not to be trusted. Things were bad enough if you gave them a secret, or told them your true name. Untold havoc would no doubt result if you gave them even a single delicious sugary coloured marshmallow from your meal. All hell could break loose if it was magically delicious.

I know what you're asking now. If it's such a big secret, then why did someone tell me? Why not come forward now, get on the record, point out that the Honey Nut Cheerios bee is indeed the spawn of Satan? Think about it. What reckless idiot would come forward and tell people that this immense risk to humanity exists, and only the greed of small children stands against it? Surely some dipshit would get curious and then try to push things, just to see what happens.

Maybe even take the box of Trix that I left out... on the table in my backyard, next to that warren of... feral rabbits...

[prokopetz]

I still can’t get over the fact that the guy who voiced Tony the Tiger for over fifty years was named Thurl Ravenscroft and looked like this:

If you met a guy who looked like that and was named Thurl Ravenscroft, would your first guess regarding his day job be “breakfast cereal mascot”?