#bridgerton therapy

[gleefullypolin]

Digging into Romancing Mister Bridgerton part 2 - Jealousy

Ok I'm back to talk about jealousy...not Pen being Jealous of Colin with women or Colin Jealous of Pen with suitors. I'm talking Colin and his jealousy of Whistledown.

As we head into Part 2, I believe this will be a theme we see post Colin's finding out about Pen's secret. Because Colin finding out that Pen is Lady Whistledown WILL be a blow to him, Colin will forgive her, because he loves Pen. That's not even in question and not even something I'm discussing today. That's the EASY part.

The difficult part is that Colin has found love, he's found Pen. But Colin and Pen had that lovely discussion in S2 about Pen finding her purpose and now Colin is faced with the fact that Pen found that. Her success as Whistledown is something he has to face. And he still has not found his, just as Pen was starting to show him he may have one with his own writing. So let's dig in to how this played out in Romancing Mister Bridgerton because it was a big theme and I think this is coming to our boy!

In the book, even after the wedding, Colin struggles to deal with the revelation that Pen was Whistledown. Her success somehow tears at him and he is unable to deal with how if affects his own abilities and chances at being a writer himself. In true style, he was unable to communicate this jealousy and Pen mistook this as shame, that Colin was ashamed of her for being Whistledown.

See excerpts from RMB below:

Except, perhaps, for Colin and Penelope, neither of whom were especially comfortable when talk turned to Lady Whistledown.

But Colin was still so upset and angry over her secret life that she’d grown uncomfortable herself. She’d tried to broach the subject with him a few times, but he’d become tight-lipped and told her (in a very un-Colin-like tone) that he didn’t want to talk about it.

She could only deduce that he was ashamed of her. Or if not of her, precisely, then of her work as Lady Whistledown. Which was like a blow to her heart, because her writing was the one segment in her life that she could point to with a great sense of pride and accomplishment. She had done something. She had, even if she could not put her own name on her work, become a wild success. How many of her contemporaries, male or female, could claim the same?

She might be ready to leave Lady Whistledown behind and live her new life as Mrs. Colin Bridgerton, wife and mother, but that in no way meant that she was ashamed of what she had done.

When finally confronted with this, Colin told her he was not ashamed of her, but was unable to tell her he was jealous. he was ashamed of himself for being jealous of her. He struggled with his jealous for a while in the book. For not being able to find his true purpose.

“I’m not ashamed of you,” he said again, mostly because he couldn’t bring himself to tell her the truth—that he was jealous. Jealous of her achievements, jealous of her.

It was such a distasteful feeling, such an unpleasant emotion. It ate at him, creating a vague sense of shame every time someone mentioned Lady Whistledown, which, given the tenor of London’s current gossip, was about ten times each day. And he wasn’t quite certain what to do about it.

He was a man who had always felt supremely comfortable in his own skin. He didn’t know why he was so blessed—perhaps it was good parents, maybe simple luck. But now he felt awkward and uncomfortable and it was spilling into every corner of his life. He snapped at Penelope, he barely spoke at parties.

And it was all due to this detestable jealousy, and its attendant shame.

Or was it?

Would he be jealous of Penelope if he hadn’t already sensed a lack in his own life?

Of course because they still were not communicating, Pen continued to know something was troubling her husband. Colin continued to be protective of her and very loving, but any talk of Whistledown immediately seemed to turn the mood in their home. It began to make her become disappointed in her husband, but not because she was angry at him but because Pen was proud of herself. She was proud of everything she did as Whistledown and she wanted her husband to be proud of her.

He said he wasn’t ashamed of her, and maybe he even thought that was true, but she couldn’t quite bring herself to believe him. She’d seen his face when he swore that all he wanted was to protect her. But protectiveness was a fierce, burning feeling, and when Colin was talking about Lady Whistledown, his eyes were shuttered and flat.

She tried not to feel so disappointed. She tried to tell herself that she had no right to expect Colin to live up to her dreams, that her vision of him had been unfairly idealized, but…

But she still wanted him to be the man she’d dreamed of.

And she felt so guilty for every pang of disappointment. This was Colin! Colin, for heaven’s sake. Colin, who was as close to perfect as any human being could ever hope to be. She had no right to find fault with him, and yet…

And yet she did.

She wanted him to be proud of her. She wanted it more than anything in the world, more even than she’d wanted him all those years when she’d watched him from afar.

This continued until they finally spoke, until Pen finally confronted him with why he was so distant. With the fact that he had read everything she had ever written because it was out there, published for the world to see and his words remained hidden, words on a page that perhaps no one would ever see and even if they did, never want to read. And finally in unburdening to his wife, she reached out to him to help him, to tell him to publish and he allowed her help, and he asked her to edit and together it was the two of them, doing it together.

And the worst part was that he knew she didn’t understand. She thought he was ashamed of her. He’d told her that he wasn’t, but since he’d not been able to bring himself to tell her the truth—that he was jealous—he couldn’t imagine that she’d believed him.

Hell, he wouldn’t have believed him, either. He’d clearly looked like he was lying, because in a way, he was lying. Or at least withholding a truth that made him uncomfortable.

But the minute she’d reminded him that he’d read everything she’d written, something had turned ugly and black inside of him.

He’d read everything she’d written because she’d published everything she’d written. Whereas his scribblings sat dull and lifeless in his journals, tucked away where no one would see them.

Colin wanted, more than anything, to be his own man, to be known for his accomplishments, not for his name or position, or even his smile or charm.

“Why, then,” she asked him, her words slow and carefully measured, “do you grow so distant and cold every time I bring it up?”

When he spoke, his words were close to a mumble. “It’s difficult to explain.”

“I’m a good listener,” she said softly.

His hand, which had been cradling her face so lovingly, dropped to his lap. And he said the one thing she never would have expected.

“I’m jealous.” He shrugged helplessly. “I’m so sorry.”

“—I need something I can point to,” he said, right on top of her soft sentence. “I need a purpose. Anthony has one, and Benedict has one, but I’m at odds and ends.”

But she knew that those weren’t the sorts of milestones he was talking about. She knew what he needed: a purpose, a calling.

Something to show the world that he was more than they thought he was.

“Publish your travel memoirs,” she said.

“I’m not—”

“Publish them,” she said again. “Take a chance and see if you soar.”

His eyes met hers for a moment, then they slid back down to his journal, still clutched in her hands. “They need editing,” he mumbled.

Penelope laughed, because she knew she had won. And he had won, too. He didn’t know it yet, but he had.

But it wasn't until the end, when Colin realized that Pen didn't want him to let the world know about Whistledown because she was willing to let her success, her name go away for the sake of his success with his journals, his dream to survive, that he finally understood his wife. That she was willing to do so much for him. Give up her success for his. And he knew that his purpose WAS her. His dream was possible BECAUSE of Penelope.

“Colin,” she whispered. “If you tell the world I’m Lady Whistledown, and they react the way we think they will, you’ll never see your journals published.”

His heart stood still.

Because that was when he finally understood her.

She had told him before that she loved him, and she had shown her love as well, in all the ways he’d taught her. But never before had it been so clear, so frank, so raw.

All this time she’d been begging him not to make the announcement—it had all been for him.

He swallowed against the lump that was forming in his throat, fought for words, fought even for breath.

She reached out and touched his hand, her eyes pleading, her cheeks still wet with tears. “I could never forgive myself,” she said. “I don’t want to destroy your dreams.”

“They were never my dreams until I met you,” he whispered.

With all the jealousy behind them, their love the most important aspect of their lives, Colin lets her know that he is very proud of his wife. and he let the world know that he was very proud of her as well. I don't think we will get this in the show this season, because I think they will hold on to the secret of Whistledown for a while longer but i just love the end of the book and Colin showing his wife that he was proud of her. Proud of Penelope and Whistledown. Because she is both.

“The truth is,” Colin said, tugging on her hand and pulling her close, “I’m rather proud of you.”

She felt herself smiling, and it was so strange, because just a few moments earlier, she couldn’t imagine ever smiling again.

He leaned down until his nose touched hers. “I want everyone to know how proud I am of you. By the time I’m through, there won’t be a single person in London who doesn’t recognize how clever you are.”

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk. How I think RMB plays heavily into the show and how I see BookColin coming to live in ShowColin for the back half of 7&8.

[dearabsolutelynoone]

I cried. I threw up. I shook. I climbed the walls. I cried some more. I tore my hair out. I saw the light. I was on the brink of death. And I cried even more. Charlotte and George were everything and then some. Like my brain chemistry has been permanently altered. I will never be the same. Every time I think about them I’m launched into a brand new mental breakdown. I don’t know how I will recover from this.

[dearestgentlereaders]

the biblically accurate romancing mr bridgerton book cover. I need to be sedated

[sea-owl]

Lucy, one of the most well-adjusted of the friend group: When I am rich

*Points at Simon and Gareth*: You're getting therapy

*Points at Kate and Michael*: You're getting therapy

*Points at Sophie and Penelope*: You're getting therapy

*Points at Phillip*: You're getting DOUBLE therapy

Lucy: Everyone is healing!

[thefabulousfab-3]

I believe people hate Colin for the same reasons they hated Peeta, because they are stupid.

[lapelduide]

I'm sorry but how dumb can you be to claim Colin has no traumas? How dumb can you be to compare people's traumas?

Colin is not lacking character in any way. If anything, he has more depth! You were just not paying attention to his story! Hiding behind traumas for their wrong choices doesn't make Anthony or Simon full characters with depth.

People are constantly trying to underestimate Colin's traumas. They're acting like Anthony is the only one who lost a father. Acting like only toxic characters have traumas that make them that way and when Colin didn't let these traumas control him he's the shallow one when it's just he has the courage to get out of his comfort zone!

This man literally has never been taken seriously by his family, they don't even have the decency to just listen his travels because he love to share these with them, they don't respond to his letters when he's away, Anthony literally congratulated him for finally being a Rake! They be acting like he can't understand anything unless he fucks!

And it's just his family. Colin literally has been betrayed by the person he thought he loved and by the person he thought he has been loved back. Marina betrayed him not only by trying to use him but by doing it while not taking him seriously too. Yes, Colin proposed to Marina when he didn't even know her properly but again: he thought he loved her. He thought love was supposed to be this fast lightning that will shock him. He believed in love at first sight. And he believed love was enough. He thought Marina was the only person who took him seriously.

Until he found out she didn't.

Yes, Marina had her reasons to try and trap a man but do not even get me started of how much how she did it affected him. How insecure it made him. We literally watched his confidence fade more and more each season. He despised his actual self so much so he felt the need to put on a mask.

But of course a certain part of the audience is ignoring it. Why? Because how can he not let these traumas control him?! How can he take action before it was too late?! He must not have enough traumas!

Or maybe he has a strong enough character. Or maybe he's brave enough to be scared of doing a certain thing but he does it anyway because he's more scared of not having the outcome of it.

He loved Penelope. He didn't know if she loved him back. But he wanted her as his beloved and not just as his friend. It could cost him their friendship. It could cost him his dearest friend. It could cost him the only person who actually appreciated him.

But it also could gift him a life full of Penelope. A life with Penelope.

So he took the risk of losing everything and gathered the courage to confess.

And if you think that's shallow you need therapy for your own sake.

[sunflowerofchaos]

Okay enough time has passed for me to throw my two cents into the Bridgerton discourse. Many are displeased with the season and part 2 specifically. I have been trying to piece together what my issues were with it and I hope that someone can find this and maybe find something that clicks as to why the season may have been disappointing.

I am a big polin stan. In fact I started watching for and because of them. Totally believed in the supremacy of their story because of their adorable friendship and the long build up ever since the pilot.

I loved part one. That will be controversial but I truly did. Was the pacing a bit off? Yes it was!

But did it give us the romcom atmosphere, the yearning, the love? Yes definitely! I'll even argue that part one, the going from "friendship to love" is done more beautifully in the show than in the book. People said one kiss is all it takes for Colin but that's really not true in the show. If you take account of the history we have because of season 1 and 2 it doesn't feel that way.

And the funny thing is that despite part one having a bunch of side plots, it worked. It was walking on the edge of being too much but it didn't cross the line.

Not yet anyways... so here are my 6 big errors of part 2

Like everyone I was way too hyped after the carriage scene, which leads to..

Error number 1: The break after the carriage scene set the bar too high. The long break filled with press and interviews further hyping up part 2 after that high consequently did damage to the reception of part 2. I believe that almost anything after the carriage would appear as a let down due to the wait. That's kind of unfair to the show I know, but it also makes sense as we, the audience would have abnormally high expectations that are difficult to please.

Part 2 is flawed and there is no arguing that. The beginning of it felt like a let down due to the split right after the carriage scene aka the climax of part 1 (pun intended) but fine objectively speaking episode 5 and 6 are nice. But then comes error number 2, the fact that we have 2 episodes where their love is clouded by the secret of lady whistledown. I feel like that was problematic to the pacing of part 2 (which is a problem in itself). The tension in episode 5 was necessary but also so much. So much that Colin literally questions her feelings. Then episode 6 instead of lifting that cloud sooner, continues to sour the polin scenes until the very end of the episode. The reveal should have been earlier in episode 6, so they have time to properly heal and be happy. (Seperate errors that I will adress)

Error number 3 is how the wedding fell under the dark cloud of the angst. I was wishing it would be the happy wedding of bridgerton and it was happier than Daphne's or Anthony's (not that we saw the real one) but the queen disrupting the wedding felt like another punch. One more time we were close to seeing their happiness but couldn't. (Something we barely get to see at all)

Then error number 4 (my personal enemy). The pacing of the conflict and healing. The way Colin was hurting was amazingly portrayed by Luke and I even understand how Colin wanted to hurt Pen with the entrapment comment and unlike many I won't hate him for it at all. But one thing where the writing really failed me is how polin shared a number of scenes that could've had a bigger role in their healing but ultimately didn't. I will list the scenes and how EVERYTIME we think they are a step closer to healing, they go back to square one and how that effects the scene where they eventually do "heal".

Exhibit A: The modiste scene. Beautiful confrontation and it really set up the possibility of them talking through it more but then it ends abruptly with Colin shutting down (however I'm inclined to give this one some saving grace because at least they talk)

Exhibit B: The wedding. Colin once again gives us hope that perhaps they're closer to making up but when Colin walked away with Pen and they had a second confrontation where she states that she is lady whistledown, I expected Colin to at least accept that statement and not revert back to being in denial about it afterwards and shutting down again. This could've been the scene where Colin starts to accept them as one. (Not to take away from the letters scene but it would have been a great foundation for it)

Exhibit C: The bedroom scene. Ah my personal nominee. This scene could've been so much more and no I don't mean a sexy scene. This scene could've been thee scene where they talk. It would've felt more powerful to have the talk that they have in Bridgerton house in their bedroom instead. I can't stress how it would've fit perfectly and been book compliant. If they had utilized this scene better, then polin being at Fran's wedding the next day would've have felt more emotional and helped convince us of them gradually solving the conflict. Netflix, that wouldn't even take from your running time. Pen could've confronted him there as she did in the book. Colin could've faced his jealousy right then and there instead of having Cressida point it out for him and still not facing it.

Exhibit D: Bridgerton house. Yes they do talk here and you can see that scene as the one where they settle things prior to the ball, BUT one it is too close to the end and it feels cut short which frankly doesn't seem enough for the viewers to believe that they now have joined hands. This scene was personally not enough for me. I think if you expand the conversation it would be much better or again if you put this dialogue in the bedroom scene it would have been powerful and helped the pacing as the bedroom scene was in the first half of the finale and this one way too close to the ball.

You'll see that every scene post reveal is following the same frustrating pattern of them brushing over the problem. You in turn get your hopes up for it to develop further into forgiveness, then voila Colin shuts down and goes back to square one. That was extremely frustrating for me as a viewer as it happened multiple times, especially since it seems ridiculous to leave the conflict in the air till the last 10 minutes when they have had several opportunities to solve it sooner. Colin's peace at the end comes too suddenly as those previous scenes don't see him gradually make peace with the matter but always shutting down and running. Those scenes could have been used to show the steps of him gradually getting over it, forgiving her and facing himself.

Error number 5. The side plots and overall pacing.. As I said part 1 walked the fine line but part 2 crossed it. What do you mean that we get more scenes of secondary characters than polin getting over their conflict and having some time to see their happiness. That messes with the pacing, making part 2 seem to want to cram up as much plot as possible. You have Francesca's love match, Benedict's exploration, Eloise's general conflict and dynamic with Cressida, Cressida's own story, Violet's arc, lady Danbury and her brother's conflict, the Mondrichs arc, the solicitor, queen etc...

This season was simply TOO ambitious for its own good. It tried to do too much. Suddenly it didn't feel like polin season but rather the season to set everything up for the next season and that really hurts as a polin fan.

Finally error number six which is by far the most famous error. The lack of happy polin. As I explained episode 5 and 6 while showed some happiness it didn't feel real because of the secret constantly hanging around. They were happy but you as a viewer might have felt more worried and had a more bittersweet feeling. Especially when you see Colin get more and more anxious and insecure during those episodes. Then episode 7 and 8 sees them miserable most of the time. That sucks even though it is necessary it still sucks. Sucks because after all that put together we don't get to see it pay off. 4 episodes of angst and they give you one scene that suddenly heals it, 10 seconds sexy scene and an epilogue scene where they suddenly have a baby. It is simply not enough to balance out the dark vibe of the entirety of part 2. That is why thousands of people are hanging onto the petition to release the deleted scenes. So we can finally see the pay off of the angst and can properly balance out the emotions that came with it and move on.

Not to mention the absolutely wasted confession of Colin Bridgerton.. when he said I love you at the end of episode 8 I was already thinking "with everything that you are, everything you have been and everything you hope to be????!!!" But then he didn't say it and I was confused as to why they would possibly not use THEE love confession??? Since that's Bridgertons thing??? Having incredible confessions... And it's not like it didn't fit in fact it would have fit so well. At this point if you squint you might imagine hearing luke continuing the line for God's sake. That remains a mystery that makes no sense to me.

So by now I don't think anyone got that far and I can't complain because I wrote this for me. To structure my thoughts and make peace with it. And so to sum up these errors: the split, the structure of episode 5/6, the wedding sadness, the way the conflict/healing was handled, the pacing with the side plots and the lack of happiness to counteract the angst. I will revisit part 1 happily and just stop after the mirror lol. I will look forward to seeing polin happy in 2 years I guess.. and I do believe that when season 4 comes out and they're happy and are hanging around we will accept season 3 way more and come to hopefully love it.

[shewhotellsstories]

I've spoken a bit about therapy-speak and social justice terms being misused a la the "Eloise is a white feminist" discourse. Still, I've got to say that although I get that people are self-inserting with Penelope if you truly believe you can be cruel to the people around you because their lives appear better than yours with zero consequences then that just makes me sad because you don't understand friendship and you'll always be too bitter to be happy for anyone else.

[maefansblog]

Please and thank you.

[thewilddreamerrr]

[aprill-99]

Daphne: “Bottling up your negative emotions like this is very damaging psychologically.”

Simon: “I know. That’s why I also bottle up the positive ones.”

[gleefullypolin]

Romancing Mister Bridgerton Book Spoilers for reference:

Everyone is getting up in their feels about how Colin is going to handle the LW reveal and I know the show has really ramped up the drama compared to the book with extra risk however I still think some of the book is relevant here. Stick with me, this gets lengthy...

We’ve all seen the rumors. Brothel smothel. I’m not here to soothe anyone’s mind or spoil the show. I’m not a brothel hater from part 1. I felt the scenes while not completely fun to watch, were part of the story. Colin is playing the role he feels society is asking him to play. He seeks out this part while still feeling this enormous loneliness from it (see journal entry). He also does not seek out intimacy, there is a reason he is with 2 women and not 1. It is easier to avoid intimacy if you do not have to be one on one. There is much to draw out of the brothel scene but I’m not here for that. Either way, we may see him return to one in part 2 and we may not. I am withholding judgment until we know how it plays out and what he does there. Colin will have a huge secret that he cannot share with anyone, he may not have many places he can go. So I’m just going to wait and see.

However, I also know that Show Colin is as Book Colin, Kind. He is forgiving. And lets look past the situation and go to where he will return to Pen AFTER he has resolved to continue his conversation regarding LW.

Colin will definitely be angry. Pen lied to him. And she wrote as LW after they were engaged and announced. This will definitely I am sure be a punch to the chest. I feel for Colin. This again is imperfect people making mistakes. Pen made one here.  In the book she made the same mistake:

“Don’t,” she said, her voice shaking.

“Don’t touch you?” His voice grew mocking, and Penelope was glad that she couldn’t see his face. “But you’re mine, aren’t you?”

“Not yet,” she warned him.

“Oh, but you are. You saw to that. It was rather clever timing, actually, waiting until our engagement ball to make your final announcement. You knew I didn’t want you to publish that last column. I forbade it! We agreed—”

“We never agreed!”

He ignored her outburst. “You waited until—”

“We never agreed,” Penelope cried out again, needing to make it clear that she had not broken her word. Whatever else she had done, she had not lied to him. Well, aside from keeping Whistledown a secret for nearly a dozen years, but he certainly hadn’t been alone in that deception. “And yes,” she admitted, because it didn’t seem right to start lying now, “I knew you wouldn’t jilt me. But I hoped—”

So yes the show is different here because he already knew she was LW at the engagement in the book and published after they agreed she wouldn't. But same premise in the show, she lied to him after the engagement. so work with me here, She knew that Colin would not leave her even after she posted her article. It was wrong. She knew it. But she did it anyway.

“You hoped what?” Colin asked after an interminable silence.

“I hoped that you would forgive me,” she whispered. “Or at least that you would understand. I always thought you were the sort of man who…”

“What sort of man?” he asked, this time after the barest hint of a pause.

“It’s my fault, really,” she said, sounding tired and sad. “I’ve put you on a pedestal. You’ve been so nice all these years. I suppose I thought you were incapable of anything else.”

In the book you start to see that Colin becomes concerned about Pen, this is where his concern comes in, he’s worried about her safety here. He wants her to allow Cressida to just have taken the fall. She is being reckless.

Colin looked away. He didn’t know why he did so; it wasn’t as if he could see her in the dark, anyway. But there was something about the tone of her voice that made him uneasy. She sounded vulnerable, tired. Wishful and heart-broken. She made him want to understand her, or at least to try, even though he knew she had made a terrible mistake. Every little catch in her voice put a damper on his fury. He was still angry, but somehow he’d lost the will to display it.

“You are going to be found out, you know,” he said, his voice low and controlled. “You have humiliated Cressida; she will be beyond furious, and she’s not going to rest until she unearths the real Lady Whistledown.”

Penelope moved away; he could hear her skirts rustling. “Cressida isn’t bright enough to figure me out, and besides, I’m not going to write any more columns, so there will be no opportunity for me to slip up and reveal something.” There was a beat of silence, and then she added, “You have my promise on that.”

“It’s too late,” he said.

“It’s not too late,” she protested. “No one knows! No one knows but you, and you’re so ashamed of me, I can’t bear it.”

“Oh, for the love of God, Penelope,” he snapped, “I’m not ashamed of you.”

And now we start to shift. The conversation of anger to shame.

Colin crossed the room and fumbled in a drawer for a candle and the means with which to light it. “I’m not ashamed of you,” he reiterated, “but I do think you’re acting foolishly.”

“You may be correct,” she said, “but I have to do what I think is right.”

“You’re not thinking,” he said dismissively, turning and looking at her face as he sparked a flame. “Forget, if you will—although I cannot—what will happen to your reputation if people find out who you really are. Forget that people will cut you, that they will talk about you behind your back.”

“Those people aren’t worth worrying about,” she said, her back ramrod straight.

And now we talk about society. We talk about what Pen has done throughout the years. What her words have meant across the ton.

“But forget all of that,” he continued. “You have spent the last decade insulting people. Offending them.”

“I have said lots of very nice things as well,” she protested, her dark eyes glistening with unshed tears.

“Of course you have, but those aren’t the people you are going to have to worry about. I’m talking about the angry ones, the insulted ones.” He strode forward and grabbed her by her upper arms. “Penelope,” he said urgently, “there will be people who want to hurt you.”

She doesn’t see that she has tried to hurt people. Pen is not a bad person. She has written the truth. Even when it has hurt people she doesn't see herself as a bad person, she is NOT and I mean to say this clearly for those that have not heard me, she is NOT a villain. But here is where it gets interesting for me and it will harken back for me to the show. To the MOST important conversation that Pen and Colin have ever had.

“What I want to know,” he asked, deliberately forcing the conversation back on topic so his mind wouldn’t wander down such dangerous roads, “is why you’re not jumping on the perfect alibi if the point is to remain anonymous.”

“Because remaining anonymous isn’t the point!” she fairly yelled.

“You want to be found out?” he asked, gaping at her in the candlelight.

“No, of course not,” she replied. “But this is my work. This is my life’s work. This is all I have to show for my life, and if I can’t take the credit for it, I’ll be damned if someone else will.”

Colin opened his mouth to offer a retort, but to his surprise, he had nothing to say. Life’s work. Penelope had a life’s work.

He did not.

So lets go back to Season 2. To this most important and intimate conversation that I think they have ever had together.

Pen: I am certain you will find your purpose one day. Everyone must eventually.

Colin: Have you found yours?

Pen: Of course not. But I imagine it to be something both animating and satisfying. The type of venture that speaks not to who I am but rather who I am to be. My purpose will challenge me to be brave and witty. My purpose will propel me far beyond the watchful glare of my mama. My purpose shall set me free.

Colin: What could possibly measure up to all that? Your dreams are grander than you let on, Pen.

Pen: Yes, they are mere fantasies, but I do believe we must allow ourselves those private moments so we may face reality armed with our reveries.

This is what we built up to, this right here. This is what we lead to in Season 3. And that will lead us to Book Colin. This is what they are giving us and it is glorious. And I love it. And I believe this is our New girl kiss and this is our Mirror and I am here and I will believe in this because this is our Polin!

She was amazing. He didn’t know how he hadn’t realized it before, when he’d already known that she was smart and lovely and witty and resourceful. But all those adjectives, and a whole host more he hadn’t yet thought of, did not add up to the true measure of her.

She was amazing.

And he was…Dear God above, he was jealous of her.

“I’ll go,” she said softly, turning and walking toward the door.

For a moment he didn’t react. His mind was still frozen, reeling with revelations. But when he saw her hand on the doorknob, he knew he could not let her go. Not this night, not ever.

“No,” he said hoarsely, closing the distance between them in three long strides. “No,” he said again, “I want you to stay.”

She looked up at him, her eyes two pools of confusion. “But you said—”

He cupped her face tenderly with his hands. “Forget what I said.”

And that was when he realized that Daphne had been right. His love hadn’t been a thunderbolt from the sky. It had started with a smile, a word, a teasing glance. Every second he had spent in her presence it had grown, until he’d reached this moment, and he suddenly knew.

He loved her.

He was still furious with her for publishing that last column, and he was bloody ashamed of himself that he was actually jealous of her for having found a life’s work and purpose, but even with all that, he loved her.

And if he let her walk out the door right now, he would never forgive himself.

This will lead to jealous Colin because suddenly the woman he is marrying has her purpose, he still does not, his new wife is successful, a writer, who he deems himself to be. This woman who compliments his writing suddenly has clout to do so. This is Book Colin coming home to us. But at the end of the chapter...let us remember, he would not let her walk out the door because even with all of that, the deception, the jealousy...he would not forgive himself if he let her walk out the door, because he LOVED her.

[marislittlethings]

sometimes you think societal expectations are going to make you Doomed By The Narrative and instead they trap you into marriage with someone who has a huge loving family and is so obsessed with you it borders on feral

[dearestgentlereaders]

if the last 15 minutes of bridgerton s3 episode 4 hasn’t been rewatched on any given day then i’m dead

[theworldwillfollow-after]

My homegirl Penelope Anne Featherington really rocketed from first base to third in the span of two encounters. We love to see it.

[miss-tribbiani]

Alright guys time to sleep but I want you to know I am the BIGGEST BENEDICT BRIDGERTON'S BITCH😡