#bristolian

[dendrofeel]

A Bristol sky 8:11am 30.03.2023

[sun-ehfoto]

Beach bods

[the-almighty-gob-john-langley]

So, Today's Skidmarks on the Underpants of Humanity are (26 Feb 2024).....

Would you punt a guess from the cornucopia of British, and beyond news today? Spoilt for choice, perhaps? Well, allow me to help you out then.

Let's begin with the asylum known as Bristol, my adopted, current home city. As I've already written at some length about this in my autobiography 'The Sexual Philanthropist' (out now on Amazon/Kindle - and, 4-star reviewed, by the way), (a) there's little point in repeating it, and (b) I simply cannot be arsed. Suffice to say Bristol is populated by more knobs than Ikea has in its entire UK national warehouse facility. Indigenous Bristolians, by the way, are generally the soundest people you'll find anywhere. You know, good-humoured, easy-going, salt-of-the-earth types who Colston would be proud of if he were alive today, and if it wasn't for the small side issue of slavery, that is. But, we'll not go there, as this was mentioned in yesterday's musings.

No, those I'm referring to are the migrants to this once great city who came here to study for degrees in subjects that result in an 'ology' of one sort, or another, and a myriad of similar fields of study that will enable them to leave university up to their neck in debt for the majority of their lives ahead, and somewhat disappointingly after three, perhaps even four years of non-stop partying, copious drugs, and enough alcohol to float the Bibby Stockholm, they find themselves qualified to serve fries and other sundries in high-end restaurants such as MacDonalds.

Having said that, in all fairness, a great many other people of all ages and walks of life come to reside in Bristol as they've found themselves attracted by national media headlines that extol the many benefits Bristol has to offer, such as the second most expensive city in which to live outside of London, and it's breathtaking public events - such as the Bridewell Riot, the Stokes Croft riot, the random bathing ceremony of Colston's statue, and perhaps by far the greatest public spectacle to be seen in decades - the slow decimation of an entire city centre by a council that's so out of kilter with its population that it's rather like an Ofsted report that tells a school it 'lacks vision', when the school is for the blind. Or, maybe even a broadcaster thinking it would be a brilliant idea to provide a radio service for the stone deaf. Now, I'm by no means a maths genius by a long chalk, but when it comes to the city council on one side of the fence, and its citizens on the other, all three quite simply aren't in any way compatible.

Now, as an isolated case, the city council could be forgiven for its ineptitude and stupidity, if it wasn't for the fact that it's somehow become viral in a way that appears to only infect those who consider themselves better educated than the rest of us poor dopes, and it appears that the better-educated someone is the more of a numpty they turn into because something as simple as common sense seems to evaporate and disappear off into the ether, never to return. Similar to yesterday's spat on Golden Syrup, today it's the turn of Bristol University. Why, you may ask? Because it has decided to remove a dolphin from its logo. Seriously, who even noticed?

I bet students were rocking up to mental health services in their thousands because a minute dolphin on the uni's logo kept them sufficiently awake at night to impact on their studies. Get bloody real! You see, the entire problem boils down to one thing in this city as much as it does everywhere else around the country nowadays, that feelings have overridden plain old common sense, and because that poor little innocent dolphin has connections with Edward Colston the mammal is the victim of the piece. So, taking this lunacy further, let's rule out the sea, boats, and ships, and maybe even demolish the university too so it can be rebuilt in its entirety. Furthermore, every student who passed through the university with a degree should hand it back immediately. Would this then finally satisfy the numptyism for once and all? Well, we can all live the dream, so probably not because the numpties will find something else just as insignificant to focus on.

Sadly, this is a pandemic there is no vaccine for, and if there were, and it was legal, euthanasia would work every time.

[stokescroftarchive]

Item No: 253

Item Name: The Bristolian vol 4 number 29

Description: Issue of political pamphlet with front cover about Guardianships

Box Name: Nov 16 >

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[polinsated]

i'm sorry for the wind and breathlessness, haha, but here it is, the voice of polinsated 😂

[southparkhcsocs]

omfg Vee is Bristolian??? i'm Bristol based too!!! 🤭

~🥝

Noo way?? Fr?

[jeffbuckleyofficial]

going climbing with my friend in a few hours yippee yippee yippee

[nerdie-faerie]

Also everyone is betting against me retaining my accent and instead coming back sounding more America post camp

[boatmediatourney]

🚢Boat Song Tournament🚢

Round 1B, match 1

Links: 🚢, 🚢

[some-echolalia-foryourtroubles]

in the buh-reeze

courtesy of andy yates from the longest johns singing 'the last bristolian pirate'

[breitzbachbea]

I write "Northern English Accent" into my document. Hordes of English people descend upon me. "Uhhhhm, which area???" Whichever one you like :)

No but for real, if I figure where Eliza is roughly from I might get more specific, all I know is that it is semi-rural and close to the Scottish border.

[dendrofeel]

Bristol graffiti📍Baldwin Street - 29.03.2023

[yotaasuke]

only just foubdout that jamaican patois is an actual registered language and not just a dialect

[georgia-stanway]

De Cordova Reid is Bristolian btw

[stokescroftarchive]

Item No: 96

Item Name: Bristolian Lying Markets Report

Description: a special report on lying councillors in the cities financial management

Box Name: PRSC ephemera Nov 2013

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[klavierpanda]

Ah yes, Bristol