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happer08 · 3 years

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"Let Me Explain"

I was unbelievably excited for this date. Ian and I had been talking for months, and finally, we had decided it was time to go on an actual date. He finally had a day off in Chicago and was free to meet for dinner. I had spent the whole day making sure I would look perfect and that the date would be good.

It had started to rain on the walk to the restaurant we were meeting at, but there was nothing in the world that could stop how happy I was. I was practically skipping as I rounded the corner through the doorway of the restaurant. Scanning with a smile, I looked around at the bar to the left of the door since that's where Ian told me he'd be.

My smile and my stomach dropped as I saw him talking to a woman. They stood close, much closer than two people that had just met. He was laughing and smiling at her as she was doing the same. He leaned on the bar with his arms crossed as she reached out, putting her hand on his arm. He smiled and blushed, dropping his head looking at her hand.

Tears welled in my eyes as my heart sank. I knew there was no way he wanted to date me. I took a shallow breath, trying to push the tears away as Ian looked up to see me. He froze and pushed her hand away, I turned back toward the door moving toward the exit.

He called my name as I pushed the door back open. It was pouring, and between the rain and the traffic noise, I couldn't hear if he was still calling. I trudged back toward my apartment. My night and mood were ruined; the rain-soaked my clothes as I turned each corner till I got there.

I was freezing; my hands shook as I pushed my key into my door, unlocking my place. Pulling my phone out of my water-logged jeans, my screen was full of calls and messages from Ian. I didn't bother even looking as I undressed, standing in my kitchen. I tossed all of my soaked clothes into the washer before getting into the shower.

The shower was more to heat myself back up than anything else. I sat on the tile floor, pulling my legs to my chest as the hot water cascaded down on my skin. My tears mixed with the water, and by the time I got out, my skin was red and burning, and I was numb. I dried off, combed my hair before pulling on some sweats, a sports bra, and falling into bed, exhausted.

Thankfully I had the next day off of work as I woke up a few hours after I got home, wide awake at 2 am. Pulling on socks, I padded through my apartment toward my phone that was on the kitchen counter.

It was dead, I sighed, moving to plug it in, letting it charge a little as I opened the fridge illuminating the kitchen with the bluish glow. I grabbed a bottle of water and a few cheese sticks looking over as my phone lit up. It charged a little, leaving me to lean on the counter next to it to use it.

There were 15 texts from Ian and a few missed calls. I shook my head, starting to read through the messages.

"That wasn't what it looked like"

"She is someone I used to work with, and we ran into each other while I was waiting for you."

"Where did you go?"

"Come on; it's pouring. Let me come get you so I can explain."

"I'm sorry, please let me explain."

The rest of them consisted of him apologizing or asking where I was or if I was okay. I read all of them; then I listened to his voicemails; they were all the same content as his texts. His voice brought tears back into my eyes. I didn't respond or call back. I had nothing to say. Making my way back to my room, I took my water and laid in bed in the silent, dark room.

I drifted off the sleep at some point and woke up to the sun coming in from my windows. I sat up, rubbing my hands over my face before pulling my hair up and sighing.

Ian POV

I went home after driving around for a few hours, looking for her. She never answered any of my calls or texts, and as I walked into my apartment, I realized how bad I had messed up. I kept checking my phone as I showered and went to bed. I laid awake for hours, practically praying to fall asleep as I repeatedly checked for her to either respond or post something on social media. She never did. Eventually, I fell asleep and was woken up by my alarm. A few of the guys and I had scheduled batting practice at the field, so I got dressed and left doing everything I could not to think about the night before.

When I got to the field, I left my phone in my locker, heading out onto the field, hoping to take all my emotions out on the ball. I set my bats down and found Anthony, Nico, Patrick, and Zack, who was in town for a few days.

"Fellas," I walked up.

"Hey, how did last night go?" Nico asked.

I had told the whole team about the date with the girl of my dreams.

"I um don't want to talk about it."

"What did she stand you up?" Anthony joked.

"No, I screwed up" I put my hands on my hips, looking at him.

"What happened?" Zack asked.

"I was waiting for her, and I ran into Taylor, and she was kinda flirting, and I was trying to be polite, and she walked in at the wrong time; I haven't heard from her since."

All of the guys were silent, looking between the ground and me.

"I fucked up potentially the best thing that could happen to me," I sighed.

The guys were about to start giving advice when our hitting coach showed up, and we got started. While Anthony was batting, Nico came over and stood next to me. Since there were five of us, we had a lot of time just to stand around and talk.

"You okay?" he asked.

"I have no idea. I fucked up, and I have no idea what to do."

He was quiet as we watched Anthony launch a homer toward the center. I took a few deep breaths as Nico looked over at me.

"Have you even talked to her?"

I shook my head.

"I called, and I texted, trying to get her to hear me out, but she hasn't called or texted back. I don't blame her either; I want her to hear me out."

Nico nodded as Patrick walked over.

"Buy her a ticket to tonight's game," he said, stopping in front of us. "Make it somewhere you'll be able to see her, and then have security get her and explain yourself. If she shows up, it means she's willing to hear you out at least; if not, let her go" Patrick looked between us as Nico nodded a few times.

"The man has a point"

After batting practice, I went to the front office and bought a ticket for a few rows up from the on-deck circle.

pov change

"Hey, it's Ian. I know I'm the last guy you want to hear from but, I got you a ticket for tonight's game if you want to come. It's at the main entrance, and all you have to tell them is your name. I want to see you, and I want to have a chance to explain. I understand if you don't come, but I'd like it if you did"

I listened to his message twice from where I laid on my living room floor. I set my phone on my chest, sighing before looking at the clock. It was a night game, and it was already 4 o'clock. I forced myself to get up.

"You have to at least give him a chance," I whispered, heading for my bedroom. "If the explanation isn't good enough, at least you got a free baseball game." I chuckled sadly as I flicked the light on in my bathroom.

I washed my face, did some light makeup, and curled my unruly hair before pulling on a pair of black jeans, a real bra with a tank top. With the base of the outfit started, I walked to my closet. I knew it wasn't warm out, so instead of a jersey, I opted for a Cubs sweatshirt. I added my grey Vans before collecting my things.

I had an hour to get to the field as I got into a cab. I sighed, debating my choice as the cabbie pulled away from the curb. Resting my head back, I looked out the window, watching the city pass on the way to the stadium.

"You okay back there, honey?" The cabbie asked, breaking me out of the nothing box I had gone to in my head.

"Um yeah, I'm fine," I answered politely.

"Come on, you're going to the Cubs game; try and cheer up a little," He tried.

I offered a fake smile and was quiet the rest of the ride. I thanked him and paid as I got out, joining the crowds on the street filing toward the historic stadium. When I got to the main entrance, I found a lady that worked there and approached her with the same fake smile I used in the cab.

"Hi, I'm so sorry, one of the players left me a ticket, and I have no idea where to go to get it," I stated.

"Oh honey, come with me."

She put her hand on my shoulder, leading me back through a few entrances to the inside of the stadium.

"You must be the one," she said with a smile.

"Yes, ma'am," I said with a smile.

"Well, you are good to go," she handed me a ticket with my seat number on it. "If you wanna just head out that door right there, you'll be on the concourse, and you can find your seat from there," She said with a sweet smile.

"Thank you," I said politely, walking out the door she had pointed at.

I got a beer before using the numbers on my ticket to find my seat and settle in. The first pitch was only a few minutes away as I did what I could to prepare myself for seeing Ian again.

Ian POV

"Have you checked to see if she's here?" Nico asked as we stood next to each other in the dugout.

I shook my head, biting the inside of my cheeks.

"I don't want to. I think it's going to be bad either way."

Nico pat my back a few times before walking away. I took a few deep breaths before grabbing my glove and running out onto the field with the rest of the guys. I made sure I didn't look at the seat I'd gotten as I made my way out to centerfield, knowing I would be too far away to see her.

I was the third in the lineup that night, so no matter what happened, I would see her in the first. Pushing the thought of her out of my head, I focused on the inning at hand. All of the outs were on the infield, leaving the outfield just standing there.

We all ran back in, switching out gear as Joc headed to the box. I hid in the dugout while Joc singled to deep left. Kris was on deck, and I stayed in the dugout as long as I could before making my way to the on-deck circle. Pouring over my bat, I looked for any imperfections that could take me back into the dugout. It took some searching, but I found a crack in the barrel and headed back to grab a different bat. Nico came to stand next to me as I reached for one.

"She's here," He said.

I took a deep breath holding it in my chest for a second. Choosing not to respond, I headed back for the on-deck circle standing there as Kris got a single to left-center. My music hit, and I walked over to the batter's box, taking a deep breath before glancing at her seat.

We made eye contact; she held a beer and offered a half-smile at me as I set up with runners at the corners and no outs. I focused on the at-bat and took two pitches down the middle before stepping out and adjusting my gloves.

I took the next pitch deep, basketball out in right field. Rounding the bases, I kept my head down; as I crossed the plate, I tipped my helmet, then high-fived the guys as we ran back toward the dugout. I glanced up, seeing her clapping and smiling. She seemed happy, which was a massive weight off my chest. I walked through the dugout celebrating and putting my gear away before taking a seat on the bench; Nico and Patrick joined me.

"You talked to security yet?" Nico asked.

I shook my head, watching Willson get a base hit. Patrick stood up, looking over at where she was sitting.

"She's still here, Ian; you gotta talk to security before she clears out" He sat back down. I got up, walking down the hall toward the head of the security desk, stopping in front of the desk.

"Hi, Ian," One of the guys said.

"Hey, I was wondering if you could do me a favor" I leaned on the desk.

"Name it"

"There's a girl I need you to get before the game ends and bring her to the clubhouse."

He nodded.

"Of course"

I gave him the information he needed then headed back to the dugout. I sat back down between Nico and Patrick.

"Got it taken care of," I sighed. "Do you think I should get her something to eat or anything?"

Patrick shrugged.

"She already has a beer, so it depends on what she likes for ballpark food."

"I know she likes pretzels and stuff."

Patrick nodded.

POV change

Settling in after the inning, I watched the other team bat as I took in the ballpark atmosphere. After two outs, a few people were walking up and down the aisle next to me; I moved to stand before I felt a hand on my shoulder.

He was wearing a locker room attendant shirt showing he worked for the organization.

I was confused.

"Ian sent these" he smiled, handing me a giant soft pretzel and a second beer.

"Oh, thank you," I smiled, taking them settling back in, getting looks from a few of the people sitting around me.

The next few innings were filled with baserunners for each; by the top of eight, the Cubs were up 8-2. I had finished my pretzel and both beers and had gotten a bottle of water, watching Patrick Wisdom walk up to the box. I moved as a few people filed in and out of the row before security appeared next to me.

"Ms.?" He asked.

"How can I help you?"

"Would you mind coming with me?" He asked.

I shook my head, knowing what this was about. Standing up, I moved out of the row, following the security guard up the stairs and through the stadium. He led me through the common areas before we took a few turns heading deeper into the stadium. The tunnels under were a maze; I had no idea how everyone didn't get lost. I made sure to follow close to security before we stopped near the clubhouse. There was a small couch with a tv in the hallway near the entrance.

"You can wait here; I'm sure you know who asked us to get you," he chuckled as I moved to sit down.

I nodded, smiling, setting my water at my feet.

"They should be down soon, and Ian knows you're here, and he'll come find you."

"Thank you"

"Do you need anything else, or do you need someone to stay?" He asked.

I shook my head with a smile.

"I'm fine, thank you."

"Have a good night," He said with a smile before walking away.

"You too"

I sat back on the couch watching the last few outs of the game and then watched the guys celebrate on their way off the field. It was a few minutes between when they got off the field and heard them come down the stairs and file into the club house. I listened to a few voices I recognized as I stared at the corner waiting for Ian to come around. I stood up, hearing his voice grabbing my water bottle. He came around the corner, looking at me.

"Hi," He said.

"Hey," I walked around toward him.

"Thanks for coming"

I nodded a few times.

"Look, I wanted to explain," He started.

I shook my head.

"I don't need you to explain anything, Ian. I took some time to think, and I don't know if we would have ever worked. With who you are and who I am, we have different lives, Ian."

He nodded.

"The first few weeks we talked, I started bragging about you," He explained. "To the guys in the clubhouse to Dakota and Zack to everyone, even my mom," he chuckled, leaning on the wall. "The guys started calling you the dream girl."

I chuckled, shaking my head.

"I don't know about that."

"I do" Ian looked up at me. "They were right."

I swallowed hard, looking at him.

"I understand why you think what you do and why you feel how you do. But I just want a second chance. I don't want to force your decision right now, so take a few days, a few weeks if you need, and I'll wait to hear from you. I want to have this conversation in person, so I'll text you my address and then wait for you to reach out; leave it all up to you since you know what I want."

I nodded a few times, taking a deep breath.

"Okay"

Ian nodded with me.

"Just take your time, okay."

"I'll see you soon, Ian" I smiled as I started to leave the tunnel.

"Do you need someone to walk you out, or do I need to get you a cab?" He called after me.

"No, I'm okay; I remember how to get out of here."

I kept walking till I got outside the stadium heading down Addison heading for my apartment. I walked for a few blocks thinking through everything Ian said and everything I had felt since I saw him with someone else. I called a cab and caught a ride home while my mind spun.

The next few days, Ian and I didn't tal. He sent me his address the night of the game, but we had no contact since then. My days were dull; I had gotten so used to his texts and his little check-ins, not having them felt weird.

It was four days without talking to Ian and at four in the morning when I made my decision. Getting up, I pulled on a pair of jeans with a sweatshirt, pulling on a pair of vans. I grabbed my phone and a bomber jacket on my way out the door. I found Ian's address and put it in the maps on my phone. His place wasn't far, but it was still a good walking distance, and as I climbed the stairs toward his place, I wasn't sure if I should have waited till a more appropriate time.

Licking my teeth, I knocked on his door then stepped back. It was a few minutes of me standing there when I started to debate coming back in a few hours. Just as I was about to walk away, the lock clicked, and the door swung open.

Ian stood on the other side in a pair of underwear and a t-shirt he just put on. His hair was a curly mess. I smiled as he blinked hard.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked.

"I made my choice," I breathed.

Ian nodded and stepped out of the doorway, silently inviting me in. I walked in, looking around at his place; it was just like I had imagined. Turning, I watched Ian close the door and take a few steps toward me, crossing his arms.

"The last few days have been weird. You are not checking in on me, making sure I'm taking care of myself."

Ian nodded.

"I've missed it, and I missed you a lot. I think I want to try and make this work."

"Do you want me to explain?" he asked.

I nodded slowly.

"She's a co-worker, she works on the field doing sideline stuff, she had a few too many and was flirting with me. I was trying to be polite, and you walked in at the wrong time."

I took a few steps forward, getting on my tippy toes. I put my hand on the side of Ian's face pushing my lips to his.

Ian grabbed my hips, pulling me against him, kissing back softly. His lips were soft and full; I kissed a few more times before settling back on my feet.

"Let's make it work," he said.

#Ian Happ #the cubs #i cant tell if i hate this #let me know plz #chicago cubs #Nico Hoerner #Patrick Wisdom #anthony rizzo #kris bryant #bryzzo #IH8

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