#btw found this extremely funny

[inkskinned]

so one time i got bit by a brown recluse which is one of the only types of spider in my area that's actually dangerous and at first i didn't know what had happened to me, only that it was nasty. the swelling wasn't going down and the wound started to get ugly. i don't want to like get into the details because that's gross but it got to the point 2 weeks later that i was worried enough to go to the doctor, which i hate doing.

i am not afraid of spiders but other people are so i'd been covering it with this big ole square bandage (i needed more landscape coverage than a simple bandaid) and sat in the university medical waiting room, kicking my heels and playing BOTW. the nurse who admitted me was like, oh, we have got to get Tom to cover this one. she wrote spider bite under my ticket.

i waited in the near-empty building for like an hour and then nurse tom shows up in spiderman scrubs, out of breath. "sorry," he says, "i saw - your slip - and I had," he heaves in a breath, "to run home and. get. these scrubs. i literally. ran. felt like a job. for. spiderman."

i laugh. he puts his hands on his knees, thumbs-ups at me. fishes a pamphlet out from under his clipboard that basically says spiders can be scary but you don't need to be scared, there's very few dangerous spiders in new england. "honestly," he wheezes, "we probably don't need to get you into an exam room. just..." he waves his hand at the pamphlet, "read that."

i look down at my arm. then back at him in his scrubs. and then down at my arm. i like that he made an effort to make a joke, but now it does not feel like a good joke, because they are mistaking my calm for a lack of injury. "can i. like. at least show you the bite?"

he gives me kind of a weird look, which is fair, but then says. "if. i mean, if you have to."

i peel the bandage off. his face goes green.

"oh," he says.

"yeah, man."

"a... spider bit you?" his voice is high and tight and trembling. he backs up a few steps.

"i think a brown recluse," i offer. "i know it's nasty, sorry."

"excuse me for a moment." he looks over to the administering nurse on the other side of the small room. "i need to find someone else to take care of you."

the administering nurse smiles over to us with a degree of pleasure that is almost salivating. for a moment, like a window opening, i am briefly aware of what must be a psychic message floating amongst the in-between. her jaguar teeth all say this is like a party for me and i know exactly what i'm doing.

"oh no, tom," she says, grinning. "i gave her to you specifically."

[lelelego]

it's always sunny in new vegas

description under da cut

[image ID: 4 images, fallout new vegas redraws of episode stills from the tv series "it's always sunny in philadelphia". all dialogue is in the form of captions typical of tv shows, with a white font on a black subtitle box.

eli, lelelego's courier, and rose of sharon cassidy (cass) are standing in a dirty public bathroom. cass is lighting a very short cigarette. eli is standing a few paces away, looking weirded out. cass says "so, uh, you're gay, huh?

cass, standing in front of a cubicle. she's still lighting the cigarette. she asks, "for pay or for free?"

eli, looking to the side like he's confused by the question, says "uh, for free, I guess."

cass, now putting the cigarette to her mouth, smiles and says, "chump." /end ID]

also, the pics were from alwaysshoutyinphiladelphia :>

[coochie-sniffer3000]

look at my boy. STIMMING

[buttmuncher77]

pre-springlocked jack n dave in 1973. cant take em anywhere!

[msommers]

to consider: aleksi finds out about jorina's feelings and has the time to process his own but by the time he approaches her about a relationship she's spent too long in her head and has coped her way into fully believing "it would be so unprofessional" so now he has to spend the next few weeks trying to convince her to take a chance on them

[danielpowell]

The music platform playlist making experience is making playlists for niche interests, watching people using your track selection for theirs, and feeling some kind of accomplishment seeing the other's playlist be more popular than yours.

[insomnia-productions]

so i started reading the raven cycle and the blurb was all like “Blue is destined to kill her true love” but then on page 3 of the prologue they clarify, if Blue were to kiss her true love, then he would die, and like

idk maybe it’s the ace speaking but that feels like such an absolute non-issue. bestie just don’t kiss him <3

[neil-gaiman]

Hello mr G,

i was wondering about aziraphale’s “wait and see” line in go2:

assuming it was scripted, that must have been written waaaay before you started using it to answer questions about the new season (which i found extremely funny btw… the answers i mean; but the season, too). So, were you making a reference to the line in the script this whole time, or was it more a prediction kind of thing? Or maybe, seeing it’s a very neil-gaimany thing to say, it was just the perfect answer in both cases?

Thank you for your time, have a nice one

I think I started using Wait and See here on Tumblr pretty early.

[dropthedemiurge]

Love for Love's sake | Things you didn't notice #2

I had these guys for two (2) episodes and I'm already insane about them, no joke.

That said, the second episode was a bit less rich in terms of hidden cultural or language meanings, but I found some untranslated stuff and wordplay! So let's dig in 👀🧭

// Language+Cultural comments for LfLs Episode 1 is here //

Episode 2

Messages that Myungha texted to Yeowoon after their first meeting:

[Yeowoon-ah, sleep well^^] (affectionately, btw YW called MH kkondae again for using old ^^ emoji lmao don't call us out I love using it too)

(my screenshot doesn't have the best quality so I can't read this one:()

[You're already sleeping?]

[Are you really sleeping?]

[You have to answer!!!]

[I guess, you really are sleeping, have a good night^^]

[I'm gonna text you tomorrow again!!!]

[Good morning!! Lol lol]

[Did you sleep well, Yeowoon-ah?^^]

Lmao, he is so annoying (affectionately).

Since the debuff was all three guys eating extremely spicy food, Myungha offers both Kyunghoon and Yeowoon water. Later, the two of them are outside and you can see Myungha caring about Yeowoon once again, asking him whether he was alive and bringing him "delicious milk".

It's nothing special, but if your country's cuisine doesn't really have spicy food (like mine), finding out that the best defence against spicy food is milk and not water usually is a surprise.

«What's this? You're here to bully Senior Glasses (안경형)?»

And this is where I laughed :D The writers of this show are funny because they keep playing with character's names. In my previous post I talked about how Cha Yeowoon's name got used along with the term "my favourite".

And here, Sangwon shows that he has a nickname for Ahn KyungHoon (안경훈) as Ahnkyung Hyung (안경형), which translates to "Hyung with glasses" aka "Senior Glasses". (Hyung means "older brother/older male friend" in Korean)

So writers literally hid "Glasses" in the surname+name of the character wearing, well, glasses. I don't think it's a cheap move because he is literally a character from the book and other characters-bullies get to use the wordplay. At first I didn't even realize it because I read Ahn as a surname and Kyunghoon as a name, but if you read it all together, there are glasses (ahnkyung) inside 😅

That's it for Episode 2 comments from me! I'm glad you guys are having fun with my notes~

[sweet-as-an-angel]

Yandere Phillip Graves Headcanons

Warnings: Yandere behabiour, toxic beahviour, kidnapping, no pronouns used for Reader except 'You', flirting, Graves is jealous, Graves gaslighting himself, etc.

This man is the definition of gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss.

And not in a funny way.

You captured his attention with your skill, your humour, and your overall personality.

He's cocky, arrogant - tries to wow you with his flash lifestyle outside the military.

Btw, he would definitely use his money to keep you docile (or, in the beginning of your friendship, impressed); try to buy you expensive things to keep you happy where he himself could not satisfy you.

Lowkey flirts with you; like he really tries to make it subtle.

He thinks it makes you feel special when he's understated with his attention to you, feeling more genuine as opposed to him basically charming his way into your bedroom as he usually does with other people.

If you don't even reciprocate his subtle flirting (which you totally pick up on), he'll take that as a challenge.

Will increase the flirt factor when speaking with you.

"Looking mighty fine today, darlin',"

"Wish I could say the same for you, Graves."

Lives for the challenge you present to him - like you're a code he needs to crack.

Begins to over-analyse every interaction you have, trying to read it and find a double-meaning.

He's like a teenager with a crush; his thoughts are only of you.

Eventually, he'll start seeing signs that aren't even there.

You offered to help him plan a tactical attack on the enemy? You're making time for him - you want to be around him.

You give him your extra bread? You care for him. Deeply. The bread is a metaphor for your heart--

Stuff like that.

He literally gaslit himself into believing you liked him romantically.

Graves began spiraling a few months into his 'relationship' with you.

You saw it as a friendship, but Graves, apparently not.

He's always thinking of your safety and well-being, even when it's not necessary, basically forcing you to get medical check-ups you don't need because he "Doesn't want to risk it."

Risk what?

Well, your health, of course!

Absolutely gives unsolicited advice about how much of what vitamins you need in a day, what you should and shouldn't eat, etc.

Goes everywhere with you.

I'm serious, he will NOT leave you alone.

He's like a dog or a puppy, and, while endearing to you, his presence is downright menacing to others.

Shoots absolutely disgusting look at people who stare at you. Or just look at you.

He's mad territorial; can't stand to see you talking with anyone else.

He can get extremely jealous and will often punish those he deems as a threat to your 'relationship'.

But never you.

He could never bring himself to punish you.

Eventually, after the two of you got closer and he realised he liked you romantically, he acted on instinct immediately.

He lured you to some secluded area of the Base under the false pretenses of having "Somethin' real cool to show ya!"

Turns out that "something cool" was a chloroform-soaked rag, which he pressed to your nose and forced you to inhale.

You resisted, of course. Tried to put your military training to good use, but Graves was stronger, both physically and mentally, and your body gave out.

When you woke up, you were in a penthouse.

You could recognise the decor as your blurred vision came into focus, Graves having bragged to you many a time about his salary and the many houses he owned in God-knows where.

Coming to think of it, he never actually told you where his penthouses were located.

Sneaky bastard.

When you fully came to, you found yourself on a bed, unlike anything you were permitted in the military.

It was soft, plush, like two mattresses stacked atop each other.

The room was large enough that you assumed even your thoughts would echo within it.

Everything was a neutral cream or beige, lacking any personal touch and resembling a hotel room rather than an expensive villa.

That is, until Graves' voice crackled over a microphone.

"Hey, darlin'," he said, his voice bouncing from the walls, making the origin impossible to locate.

"Now, you'll be wonderin' why I've brought you here, and the truth is that--"

There was a pause.

"--that I...like you. More so than you've probably noticed--"

You scoffed. Jesus, his attempts couldn't have been more obvious that if he'd outright told you what he was planning on doing to you.

The voice didn't react to your show of 'disrespect', and you gathered that the message was pre-recorded.

Of course, Graves was far too busy keeping up appearances for the 141 to come and see you in person.

“And because I— like you— I had to take you away - protect you.”

Despite having kidnapped you, Graves sounded more bashful than anything else. No remorse, no nothing except for embarrassment.

"I had to bring you somewhere you'd be safe, and happy, and...loved-"

Even the recording seemed to freeze as you did upon the word 'love' permeating the air.

This isn't love, you thought.

You, on the other hand, were fuming.

How long had he planned on doing this to you? Who else knew? What made him think he had the right to do this to you?

You tried leaving, but found the door all but soldered shut, the windows such a great height off the ground that, if you were to even try to lower yourself down from the ledge, you'd most certainly break your legs.

Graves had you right where he wanted you; dependent and reliant on him and him alone.

And, unless you can outsmart him, you'll stay that way for the rest of your life.

Reblog for more content like this! It helps creators like myself tremendously :-)

Masterlist Masterlist [Continued] Masterpost Modern Warfare AI Masterlist

AO3 Wattpad

[leejungchans]

svt as the types of people you meet in college? it can be totally up to your interpretation of them hehe and they don't have to fit into certain college stereotypes!!!

OH i love this!!!!!! (based on my own experiences mixed with some cliches/aus/imaginings 🫶🏻) sorry this took a while to get to btw 🥲

seungcheol: the senior who manned one of the booths at your freshman orientation. did you join his club bc he was ridiculously attractive and made small talk with you? no comment. you follow each other on instagram but that’s probably about it <//3 definitely a campus crush that feels very unattainable but it doesn’t stop you from imagining what he’d be like as your a boyfriend

jeonghan: you walked past him once, and pretended you heard someone behind you calling your name just so you had an excuse to do a double-take. people this pretty existed?? and at your college/uni?? you told all your friends about him and after some snooping you managed to find his instagram. please just send that follower request, you have nothing to lose <3

joshua: i can totally see him being a student advisor omg!! so so so sweet, actually checks in on you often and is genuinely interested in knowing how things are going for you :’) does his best to give good advice, but as you became closer friends you became more familiar with his sense of humour and his advice got increasingly……interesting 😭 “your prof said what? next time trip him in the hallway!” “joshua nO” don’t do that

jun: sat in front of you in one of your courses last year, fell asleep during the lecture almost every single week. his friends gave up on keeping him awake halfway through the semester. you became friends after being randomly assigned to the same group for project and now you’re the friend who has to keep him awake during classes. he’s so cool though, and very witty and funny <3

soonyoung: even if you don’t know him personally, you always run into him on campus. grabbing a coffee at the cafe, goofing off with his friends in the quad, dozing off in the library…he’s friendly with everyone, even the grumpiest professors. you want to be his friend so bad, he just seems so fun to be around. also the only person you know who wears tiger print but he pulls it off!!

wonwoo: you have a class with him and he always sits in the back. so quiet and shy, barely talks to anyone but he’s really cute so you noticed him regardless. you got paired up for a discussion and found out how smart and well-spoken he was, and you guess he vibed with you too bc since then he started saving you a seat :’)) occasionally plays games on his laptop when the lecture gets boring, and angles the screen more towards you so you can watch <3

jihoon: a friend of a friend. you’ve never met but jun tells you so much about him, so it almost feels like you know him too. you follow him on instagram and occasionally he’ll post covers of him singing while playing the guitar. you offhandedly mentioned to jun that his voice is so pretty and soothing and much to your embarrassment he tells jihoon 😭 but it’s okay bc he’s setting up a hangout to officially introduce you both to each other!!

seokmin: the friend we wish we all had. you met on your very first day of college/uni when you had the same class. he initiated convo with you and was so sweet and friendly even though you could tell he was extremely nervous himself, protect him omg 💔 one of your closest friends to this day even if you don’t have the same majors. you enrol in random electives together and those lectures are always your favourite bc you sit in the back and goof off, just try not to get shushed too much <33

mingyu: spilled coffee on your shoes at the starbucks on campus 🙁 it’s not his fault it was really crowded and someone bumped into him causing him to bump into you!! also, he looked very guilty about it so you couldn’t find it in you to be mad. he pays for your coffee as an apology. he recognises you when you stand behind him in line two weeks later and jokes that he won’t spill anything on you this time. you became friends and now you understand why his close friends (affectionately) bully him so much bc he’s just a puppy trapped in a 6ft man’s body 🤧

minghao: literally the main character. he doesn’t walk, he struts and it works for him. so effortlessly cool and attractive. a huge motivating factor for showing up to that class is getting to see what his outfit for that day is. one time you mustered up the courage to compliment his shirt, and your heart swelled at how his face lit up immediately :’)

seungkwan: if you hear the sound of ice being shaken around in a plastic cup mid-lecture, 9 times out of 10 that’s him. he’s an iced coffee girlie he’s just like me. you became friends after he sincerely complimented you on how well you did in your midterm presentation 🤧 the sweetest most caring person ever, but he shows his affection by (playfully) judging you while sipping his iced americanos <3

vernon: took the seat across from you in the library one day while you were cramming for a test. has the coolest stickers on his headphones. you aren’t sure if he actually got any work done bc he seemed really into the music he was listening to. you accidentally made eye contact and he gave you a dorky little smile <3 you exchanged contacts the second time you happened upon each other at that very same table and he showed you a pic of his cat hehe

chan: this is sooooo self-indulgent bc i’ve had these thoughts for the longest time……he’s such a loser (affectionate) omg………..he sat next to you for a quiz and realised he didn’t have a pen 😭 blushed so hard when you offered to lend him a spare one before profusely thanking you. forgets to return it………..you thought you lost that pen for good but when he walked into class the next week, his eyes desperately searched the room looking for you, and with an sheepish smile he returned your pen along with a candy bar as an apology for forgetting…….he’s so cute i hate him so much🧎🏻‍♀️

a/n: many feelings about college bf!wonwoo and chan…….

[bloodweep]

Nothing kills me more than the fact Bruce’s reaction to seeing Branch is to literally pick him up, toss him in the air, give him a wet Willy then proceeded to try to “attack” him before Poppy stepped in

I struggled to go about these properly ; I love the fact he is a dad and I absolutely love Brandy and his insane (pos) kids, I like to think Brandy is a-okay Bruce was with someone else, much as he’s a-okay with her being with to others as well it’s a mutual thing between them

“Oh sorry a Wet William”

I headcanon his to be 6’0 btw !!

━━━━━━━ ✦❘༻༺❘✦ ━━━━━━━

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ First time meeting ࿐ྂ

‗ ❍ He is pretty laid back, I mean come on, he owns a vacation style restaurant and surfs

‗ ❍ very attentive to you, being a father does help, eyes always locked onto yours, arms on his hips in fists, body facing you, overall just making sure you know he has his full attention

‗ ❍ gosh he’s so interested in whatever you’re saying, ranting babbling

‗ ❍ of course you knew him while he was in brozone, and you couldn’t help be a little excited and all over the place, he just smiles oh so fucking sweetly at you

‗ ❍ UGH he just nods and is so fucking polite listening to you

‗ ❍ once you’re done your overall hyperness and shock, he would pull you into a side hug and just hug you gently

‗ ❍ fuck I know he would introduce you to brandy and his kids, smiling up at her and her smiling at you

‗ ❍ he would so totally cook for you too

‗ ❍ teach you to surf

‗ ❍ loves sitting on the beach at a fire with you

‗ ❍ so let’s you play with to his hair

‗ ❍ dad jokes, you cannot escape them no matter how hard you try

‗ ❍ he’s pretty strong too, nearly rivals JD’s strength, I mean come on he definitely picks his kids up every once in a while so he has to be strong to do that

‗ ❍ this man is so easily riled up and persuaded into doing things even if he doesn’t want to - mean did you see how quick his kids and poppy got him to sing? All because he was flabbergasted that his kids didn’t believe he was popular - yeah you do that to him a lot because it’s funny AND HE IS OKAY WITH IT

‗ ❍ sings to you whenever you ask, used to just get a private thing, but it’s anywhere and anytime you want it to be now

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Him crushing on you ࿐ྂ

‗ ❍ he knew immediately, had the conversation with Brandy as soon as he figured those feelings out - she was all for it, she found you attractive and a good person to bring into the relationship, plus you were good with their kids

‗ ❍ THEY HAD AN EXTREMELY HEALTHY CONVERSATION WITH YOU ABOUT IT AND GAVE YOU ALL THE TIME YOU NEEDED TO FIGURE IT OUT

‗ ❍ once you made your decision, Bruce was over the moon, he smiled so big his eyes squinted up and his fangs on full display for you as his tail wagged behind him fast - he felt like a teenager all over again

‗ ❍ holds your hand whenever he can - all the time

‗ ❍ always watching you

‗ ❍ eye contact is so more intense

‗ ❍ still takes it slow though- it is different being married and having a partner so none of you guys made it official yet

‗ ❍ explains he would appreciate it if you and Brandy knew each other more - who wouldn’t? She would be an amazing friend to have

‗ ❍ always ALWAYS looking around the room, everywhere to make sure he can see you

‗ ❍ makes you a matching necklace with him

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Getting together! ࿐ྂ

‗ ❍ it would take a LONG time to get together, roughly 5 months at least

‗ ❍ he would take you out on a nice beach date

‗ ❍ picnic, singing, him playing a guitar

‗ ❍ then he would ask you

‗ ❍ though he would treat you the same way before, you just had a label

‗ ❍ still touchy as ever

‗ ❍ hugs you so tightly whenever

‗ ❍ takes 3 weeks from getting together to finally get a forehead kiss, and a palm kiss

‗ ❍ two more weeks to get one on the lips - kind of sloppy with it since he’s not used to kissing someone his size - fangs shoved against your mouth but you know it’s not his intention to bother you with them

‗ ❍ his claws are trimmed down too! So he doesn’t hurt his wife, kids or you

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Random things! ࿐ྂ

‗ ❍ tail is on the floor like JD’s just a bit smaller, the tuff of fur at the end lays on the floor while JD’s tail drags behind him a good couple feet

‗ ❍ I KNOW he slaps while on the grill

‗ ❍ hates oranges and lemons, but still takes them to eat from his kids plates and the kids think he loves them - doesn’t care to correct them on that because he loves seeing how happy they get to give them

‗ ❍ draws in his free time, really honed the skills as he draws with his kids

‗ ❍ NAPS, loves them, enjoys holding someone while doing it, especially you since he won’t be crush and he so desires to curl around someone to protect them

‗ ❍ he really does love his Brothers even JD, he still does have some resentment about the events of them splitting apart, but, he’s learned to let it go, they were going, dumb and stressed out ; he has always witnessed the change in JD - he just hides it because he’s the oldest - he understands the struggle needing to appear happy and fine for people

‗ ❍ painted nails all the time because of his kids !!

━━━━━━━ ✦❘༻༺❘✦ ━━━━━━━

Tagging: @n3rdy247

Since you asked for these 🫶 it’s sfw for now as I’m still trying to figure them out!!

[hischierswhore]

Your writings are so cute, and my favorite to read! I have a request but it’s like super long! Sorry in advance. Can I please request one with Mason, where he is newly dating the reader(actress), and i’m not sure if you have ever seen those youtube videos of the celebrities getting ready in their bathrooms for vogue but she’s recording one of those and Mason interrupts. He comes in asking her the question “who would win in a fight, a shark or a tiger” and she completely forgets she’s recording and they both go on a tangent about who would win, and then he says suddenly “waits where the fight at?” and their laughing and it just shows their relationship in the purest form. She finishes up the video and send it back to vogue however she sends the unedited one (she thought she sent the one where she took out the interaction with Mason because reader wants to keep the relationship more so on the private side but Mason wants to show off his girl and tell the world). Fast forward Vogue calls her and asks her if it’s okay if they keep that scene with Mason in the video because they found it so cute, and the reader finally breaks and decides she’s going to tell the world about them and agrees for Vogue to release the video. Mason watches it at training, surprised that she kept the portion he is in and is smiling ear to ear because she finally came around to the idea of them being public. SUPER FLUFFY. Thank you!!!

vogue beauty secrets

pairing: Mason Mount x Reader

TW: cursing

A/N: thank you, love! btw there's an insta AU at the end <3

"Hey guys, it's Y/n L/n, and I'm here with Vogue to show you my everyday makeup routine!" You started with your skincare routine, cleansing your face properly before applying moisturizer & sunscreen.

The application of products was explained, as well as how to blend them. As you began applying your concealer, your bathroom door opened to reveal your boyfriend, Mason.

"Love I have a very important question to ask you" He sat on top of your bathroom counter as he spoke.

"Who would win in a fight, a shark or a tiger?" You turned around at his odd question, completely forgetting you were filming a video for Vogue.

"A tiger obviously, Mase"

"Explain"

"It has claws & it just naturally has the instinct to hunt"

"Valid point, but a shark could gobble a tiger up instantly"

"Gobble? It's not a turkey" You laughed

"Wait wait wait. Where is the fight taking place? That's an extremely important factor" You looked at Mason and you both immediately burst into laughter.

"My stomach hurts, Mase!" You laughed as you clutched your stomach

"Well I'm sorry for being so naturally funny" He playfully rolled his eyes before you kissed him.

"Shit, I forgot I'm filming for Vogue. Let me finish this and I'll be out after"

"I forgot you were recording. Sorry, love" He gave you a quick kiss on the forehead before leaving the bathroom.

You continued your routine, leaving yourself a mental reminder to cut the clips of you & Mason out, as neither of you had confirmed your relationship yet. It was more your idea. You wanted to keep your relationship private, but Mason wanted to tell the whole world that you were his girl.

You finally finished recording, shutting off the camera and quickly editing it on your laptop before emailing it to Vogue. You added the video to the email and hit send, not realizing that you had accidentally sent the unedited version to them. The one with the interaction between you & Mason.

For the next week you had forgotten about the video entirely until you received a call from Jessica, an assistant at Vogue magazine, asking if they could keep the part with you & Mason in the video because it was so cute and wholesome.

At first you were confused as to how they got the clip, but then you double checked your email and realized that you had sent them the original by accident. You debated asking them to cut it out or to keep it in and tell the world about your relationship.

In the end, you decided to tell them to keep that clip in. You knew Mason wanted to be public already, so why not do it as a surprise? You didn't tell him that you let them keep that clip, that being the surprise. You figured he'd watch it anyways, as he always watched your interviews (in the least creepy way possible).

After another week, the video was released to the public. You were nervous for both your & his fans reactions, but also excited for Mason's.

Within the hour, the video became #1 on the YouTube trending list. Your newly-announced relationship was making headlines, becoming the only topic of conversation you could find on social media. You quickly posted several tweets confirming the news & announcing your relationship status.

Mason had called you only hours after the video had gone viral, as he was at training when the video was released. He smiled as he watched you speak, but his smile got even bigger when he saw that you kept the clip with him in.

"I see you changed your mind" He teased you over the phone.

"Yeah yeah"

"I can finally tell people you're my girlfriend!" He shouted thru the phone, causing you to pull the phone away from your ear.

"Yes, my love, you can. And I can finally tell people you're my boyfriend" You smiled at the feeling of a weight being lifted off your shoulders.

The reactions towards you & Mason were overwhelmingly positive, with your fans wishing they were him and his fans wishing they were you.

Both of you felt great, knowing that people accepted you both as partners.

To celebrate your relationship announcement, Mason took you out to a fancy dinner, in which you got bombarded by the paps that were trying to interview the pair of you on your relationship. You both raced to the car, laughing as you ran hand-in-hand.

You jumped into the passenger seat as Mason hopped into the drivers seat. You both sat in silence while catching your breath before he spoke up.

"Maybe we didn't think this through completely" You both laughed as he drove you back to his place.

- INSTA AU -

yourusername

liked by jennaortega, masonmount, and 46,937 others

yourusername lover

tagged: masonmount

view all 17,832 comments

masonmount my lover 😍

cmpulisic 💜💜

y/nfan1 i am so jealous of Mason rn😔

masongirlie101 screaming crying & throwing up

benchilwell ^ me whenever i see them

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[jeonride]

hi are u taking request? read ur san oneshot and i like it sm ⭐ so what if husband!hwa being such a tease to reader whos touch starved but theyre still fighting and hwa saying "aren't you still angry" like that? smh he'll sound irritating 🙄🤚🏻 yet i'm in my mood to sassy hwa lmao btw holy moly ur theme sickkkk

yeah babes i'm taking request and you're being my first requester! <3 tysm for saying that and i made your req into smut drabble tho i hope it's okay for you :((

aren't you still angry?

SUMMARY; seonghwa looks too good tonight that even makes you want to be touched by him. the problem is, you're still angry and you feel extremely ashamed to say it out loud.

FEATURING; seonghwa x afab!reader

TAGS; fluff, marriage au (husband!seonghwa), non-idol au, smut (MINORS DNI!)

WORD COUNT; 1.3 K

WARNINGS; use of pet names, degrading words, fingering, nipple play, pussy slapping, mentions of arguing, and hwa is such a tease here prolly makes you irritated lol

NOTES FROM KALA; scrolled through my gallery and found this photo of hwa that made me- HOLD UP THIS MAN'S GORGEOUS AF

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Seonghwa glances at you, his wife who seems to be fidgety or something, he can't really tell, as your feet keep moving, making Seonghwa unconsciously notice.

"You okay?" he asks. His eyes are filled with worry, even though you're still fighting and haven't really forgiven each other.

You bite your lip.

No, you are not.

Definitely not okay.

You don't know why, but it feels like you desperately want your husband tonight. Seonghwa's appearance tonight is enthralling, so tempting, and it's dangerous for you. The way his satin pajamas shape his broad chest, oh, your eyes can take a look at his cleavage. And let's not forget the glasses perched on his sharp nose, which he uses to clarify his vision because he is making a report. You do have a thing with people wearing glasses. And seeing your husband wearing his reading glasses makes your way of breathing strangle. You are trying to be casual, but it's so hard because,

Seonghwa looks so tempting when you are still angry and fighting with him.

It's embarrassing if you're the first one to wave the white flag of surrender because you caused the problem. It was a small fight at first but for some reason, it became very intense and now you're the one sulking at Seonghwa. Though he should be the one who's angry at your childish attitude.

"You keep spreading your legs for no reason. Want something, hm?" asks Seonghwa while cupping your cheek gently with his palm. You are sitting side by side, both of you just minding your business. You're watching a comedy TV show that you think isn't funny at all, such a waste of time. You don't need any bullshit jokes right now. Because Seonghwa's lips are the most attractive thing tonight, making you instinctively want to kiss him.

But you don't.

You hold back.

You're still holding on to the dignity. Stubborn as you are but your heart wants him as much.

"Nothing. I'm fine."

Seonghwa grins. His left eyebrow raises. He knows you need him. It's so obvious that he can interpret your body's reaction exactly. He can feel you tensing up when he looks at you, as well as the faint blush on both your cheeks and now you're crossing your legs like you're trying to hold back your arousal. He's aware of that. Your body movements are so agitated for someone who says "Nothing, I'm fine".

"You sure? You seem.. suffering," Seonghwa's grin getting wider. Suffering because you are resisting the urge to kiss him and the desire to be touched by your husband, to be more precise.

"I'm fine, Seonghwa. Just go back to whatever you were doing, don't mind me."

"Okay, love." Seonghwa strokes your shoulder, giving you a gentle massage that makes you bite your lip, such an unnatural reaction. Not like the usual you.

Seonghwa knows what you want, of course. He fucking knows. But he wants you to say it, wants you to get used to communicating with him no matter how angry you are because well, the habit of shutting yourself up because of an argument but still acting sulky is irritating to Seonghwa.

Seonghwa is sure you're feeling irritated too, right now. Because you suddenly click your tongue, and it sounds like the angry one you usually give him on special circumstances.

"What is it? Stop clicking your tongue as if you want me to understand what you want." Seonghwa adjusts his glasses, looking at you sharply. "You need to learn to ask nicely. Because really, I don't understand if you just click your tongue like that and say you're doing fine."

You pout, and whimper at Seonghwa. With doe eyes, your fingers tug at the hem of his satin pajamas, all while your mouth still releases whining sounds. "Seonghwa,"

"Yes, love?"

"I want you."

Seonghwa chuckles. His face looks surprised, not believing what you're saying to him, and it's a reaction that has the meaning of sarcasm. "Aren't you still angry?"

"Forget it. I forgive you for tonight because you look so good now."

"Oh, just for tonight? What if tomorrow night you want me again?"

"Seonghwa," you whine loudly. Resentful of the way he teases you, resentful of the way he plays with you like a child. The man giggles. He takes off his glasses, leaving his report behind because he wants to give you all his attention. His gorgeous wife, you, seem to want something but are embarrassed to say it because of your pride.

"Stop being such a whiny baby and talk properly. When we were arguing you looked fiery and shameless."

Such a tease.

Seonghwa, your husband, loves to tease you so much that his back sometimes is being the victim of your punches."Speak up, my love. I'm all ears."

"I said that already, I want you." You look away afterward, feeling embarrassed. But Seonghwa's face follows the direction of your eyes, forcing you to only look at him.

"And why do you want me, when you're still angry? I thought we're still fighting, tho."

"I said forget about our fight, or do you want me to be angry every day?"

"Oh, behave, love." Seonghwa chuckles. "Behave when you need someone to serve you down there."

Seonghwa's hand slowly travels to your thigh. That's easy for him to do since you're only wearing his oversized white shirt and panties. His hand gives a gentle stroke while keeping his eyes on your expression. Smirks when you're trying so hard to cool with it while your chest breathes heavily, all tense up because of his touch. "Cockhungry slut."

Your arousal gushes out, you can feel it. It's the way he calls you slut, while he takes care of you like you're such a little princess. Delicate. Arousing. How can he manage to be like that? Acting so fucking sweet while his pretty lips keep talking dirty.

Your breath hitches as Seonghwa's forefinger rubs the wet patch of your panties, moving it to the side and touching your clit softly. "Aren't you still angry? You usually get rid of my hand immediately when you're angry. So it's true I look too good tonight to handle?"

"Seonghwa, you will make me angry even more if you keep teasing me like this."

"Oh, so you'll be angrier if i don't satisfy you?"

You smack Seonghwa lightly on the chest, feeling humiliated by the way he spoke. But eyes don't lie. Your eyes show how much you want to be touched by Seonghwa.

"Stop teasing me, Seonghwa..." You reply softly. Your cheeks flushed like sunset, and it's like a little show for him, Seonghwa enjoys this.

"And why do I have to?"

You moan, automatically spreading your legs to give Seonghwa's fingers more access to play with your pulsating clit. He smiles triumphantly, mixed with his mischievous expression. And with such a quick movement, he lands one slap on your clit, earning a jolt and more arousal from your aching cunt.

"You like that?"

You bite your lip, nodding aggressively with your eyes squeezed shut. Unable to form words now, your brain is already clouded, and your thighs are shaking as Seonghwa gives you another slap on the clit, even harder and it stings yet you feel the pleasure as your heart is racing like a thousand fireworks explode inside your chest.

Seonghwa doesn't reply to your words, focusing on the expression on your face that is formed because of pleasure, because he's making you feel good. He's busy carving your beautiful face in his memory because he swears, tonight you also look perfect in his eyes. His two fingers slowly enter your cunt, dragging out and then back in gently. You sigh at the stretch out Seonghwa's two fingers give you, he's well experienced at this one. He rotates his fingers inside you, forming a come-hither motion then his thumb rubs circles on your abused clit which makes you arch your back and moan Seonghwa's name.

"Seonghwa, please, don't stop!" you whine, your hands moving instinctively to your torso, squeezing your own breasts and giving soft strokes on your nipples. Seonghwa moves closer to you and plants a peck on your lips.

"Aren't you still angry, love? So now you already forgave me because I can make you feel good?"

Oh, god.

He is indeed, such a tease.

nb : i'm taking requests now so feel free to drop your req on my inbox <3

© jeonride 2023. all rights reserved. please do not copy, translate, plagiarize, or repost any of my writing anywhere!

[rubra-wav]

SFW Vox x Reader head anon request where the reader was his nibling on Earth but he died when they were very little. They ended up very lost and numb due to the death and found the only time they felt anything was in a fight so they became a bouncer, which is actually what led to them dying at 28. Reader doesn't realize who Voc is until they hear him speak.

Vox x Former relative reader headcanons

A/N This is a very hyperspecific request, so I hope you understand I've made it a little more general. 🙏

General plotline and idea is kept tho - bit vaguer, however.

Reader was his favourite relative btw, if this man saw just some random family member come up to him I think he'd just swat them away faster than light ngl.

Cw: Sfw, platonic obv 💀, gn reader

- When you showed up before Vox, he didn't recognise you at all either. He'd died when you were young, and when demons die they don't exactly come back looking 'normal'.

- So when you show up before him after seeking him to speak for several weeks - sending letters to meet him in person like your life depended upon it, claiming you had something very important to discuss with him, he doesn't recognise the sinner who clearly died while enthralled in extreme violence before him.

- When the people who escort you into the room leave, leaving you two alone at his request, Vox's first instinct is to interrogate you.

- He immediately assumed you had some sort of blackmail on him and were trying to play games to extort money from him or something.

- But, when you're lunging forward at him to wrap your arms around him while calling him an extremely specific nickname he hadn't heard in decades, he's at a complete loss in disbelief.

- When his initial shock wears off and he realises who you were to him, he doesn't know how to react properly and sends you away, saying he needed a bit to think and he'll contact you again.

- The conflict between his past self that he was when he knew you, as compared to the self he is now, has him absolutely reeling.

- It wasn't exactly foreign for him to come across people who knew him from his shows when alive, but not somebody who had actually known him as a family member - much less one who still thought highly of him after everything he'd done to end up there.

- When he finally calms the hell down, he tells you not to tell anybody you two are related for your own safety (and his own image), and that he will help provide whatever you need.

- He'd be distant as all hell from you, but would still want you to be safe. Both of these are due to him having a particular soft spot for you even now.

- Would probably consciously make an effort to try be an asshole to make you not want to see him- then feel kinda bad when you still want to see him and obviously still very much love him. 💀

- Even if you want to spend time around him really bad, he'd probably not give in most times.

- if he does spend time with you though down the line, he's just screaming inside the whole time because he actually gives a fuck in the same way he did back in his life and that's terrifying to him after living in hell. You don't get to his standing with caring about many people.

- Would be super paranoid during the whole thing as well about someone somehow finding out (especially the Vees because he'd never hear the end of it and if Val ever tried to flirt with you he'd probably go apeshit despite his on and off thing with him. )

- If anyone ever saw you were a soft spot to him, that would instantly make you a target. And, because it bruises his ego to know he still gives this much of a fuck about a relative who he hadn't seen in decades.

Writing this made me realise just how funny Vox would be as one of those bitter adoptive father figures who didnt sign up for this shit but just very begrudgingly love their 'child' and fucking hate themselves over it. 💀

[psychelis-new]

pick a pile: "Your next birthday"

take a breath and choose the photo/number that calls you the most to read about your next birthday and what may happen for you on that day (or in relation to that day). for some of you, the reading could also refer to the start of your new life, your new self, a new cycle: so yes it could be an actual birthday or just a figurative one (see accordingly to your situation).

side note. blame red velvet for posting the mv for their "birthday" song the day I wondered about making a pac with this subject lol. this aside, my wish is to try to make you smile and hopefully not spoiler too much but still make you excited about good things coming exactly for you, to celebrate you.

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. remember things can always change and you're in charge of your life.

(photos found on unsplash)

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1 - 2 3 - 4

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’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 1

Pile 1, I'm super excited and I honestly cannot wait to start your reading so here I am. I think things on your birthday will go extremely well and unexpectedly, like there's gonna be some kind of surprise, also from the Universe. Just keep being optimistic and think for the better (no fake positivity, be positive about that day and yourself, especially if it's a day you don't enjoy particularly. You deserve some type of celebration no matter if you think the opposite or that you're a failure: you're not). My heart chakra is opening (I almost wrote it with an H? "Hope" is your word. Or maybe "happening"). I think a good news will come for you, maybe even just the wishes of someone unexpected (maybe from your past) or you'll get to celebrate with your fav people (or new ones you love and love you back). It's gonna be a very successful day for you (maybe also concretely, not just emotionally: like you may get some improvement in your finances). TBH it feels like you've asked for something to the moon, maybe a wish or a manifestation, and she's bringing it to you. It's gonna be the start of a new life experience, and even if you cannot see it now, it's gonna sign the start of your transformation into your best self; your life is entirely transforming with you. Be positive about it and trust. You will be able to see the whole picture soon but remember every good path must be walked step by step, especially when we cannot see much of it. Your Guides are by your side, and you have all that you need to start this journey. Remember to take care of yourself and don't eat too much or stress too much: take a breath, take your time. You don't have to rush anything, you have time to do everything slowly. You have time (x2). It's gonna be okay. You're gonna get back what you gave. Start having faith and believing in yourself and Universe. And be patient please: rushing things, being impatient, will only cause you more pain. Trust. It's all okay.

songs: funny happy birthday song*; god gave me you | blake shelton; still | brian mcknight *channeled in my mind. don't listen to this one if you aren't feeling too well? (even if it's just pure irony about life and lol this could be for me as well thanks guides). honestly it could be your mood talking (are you a little sad, depressed, lonely? or indeed you don't like much about your birthday as it makes you think about the negative sides of your life. don't worry you have time to make it better and I think this is the right one)

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pile 2

Your reading is really something: y'all need to chill lol; beware of the TW signs btw. You're gonna be at the center of the attention, pile 2. As it's supposed to be on your day. I think it may be a passionate day too, or even a romantic one for some of you (especially if you have a romantic partner, they may take you out on a special date or even vacation/trip). It's gonna be emotionally fulfilling; probably, again for some, even physically (no details, sorry it's a reading for everyone). You may be going to a club with your friends (and maybe find or meet someone interesting there) or just simply enjoy your time dancing at home or in any other place (see the songs' section for further infos), cause music and dancing stand out a lot here. You may be doing a lot on your day, like you're booked by your friends, partner, family, colleagues, school/class mates... or even you have plan to celebrate a bit by yourself as well, maybe shopping or going to a spa or something. I feel like you'll need to take a break at some point (but for a good cause lol y'all reckless). Yeah, on that day your only goal is gonna be to have fun and enjoy, whatever that means for you. Being a collective reading, there's gonna be people focusing on themselves and maybe partying with friends and family, and others partying a lot more... you name it. But you're gonna have fun the way you like it, that's for sure. And maybe meet someone too, as I said (ofc only for some, not those in a relationship though). [TW alcohol mention] Beware of not drinking too much cause you may get an headache and that's not what you want (even if it's your day and you want and deserve to celebrate, try to stay balanced -don't wanna sound as your mom but that's a message I got) [/TW]. Also, it's okay if you need to get out to breathe some fresh air, it'll help. You may meet someone there (for a few). Again lot of passion and emotions, you may be trying to improvise something or do something you haven't done before like dancing on a stage in a club, getting attention, and being happy about it. You're totally feeling it. You will dominate your day and enjoy. And you'll take every chances you're gonna be offered, like you're going to start seeing things differently on that day: even something you would have never done (e.g. dancing alone) could bring you something good (e.g. someone you like's attention).

songs: music* | madonna; worship | years & years; because of you | ne-yo (18+) *channeled in my mind (my guides on fire today). I think there might be music involved, dancing with your friends (you may hit a club), or even dancing with your partner (both actual dance or figurative. Now this is a reading for everyone so no details)

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pile 3

Your birthday is gonna be luxurious. You're gonna be the star but differently from the 2nd pile, your energy is more "elegant" (pass me the word, even if it's not right... uhm, reserved? Yeah, kind of). Like, you may be throwing a party and you're ofc gonna be the center of the attention, opening the gifts and all, but you won't be loosing yourself too much. You'll take car eof your guests too, helping them having fun, offering good food, music, planning nice games... I feel grace from you and... you seem composed, regal. You may even wear a small crown and have a white dress. You're the empress, basically. I think something fated or unexpected may happen on that day. Maybe you want to travel somewhere or someone from abroad may come visit you: whatever that is, you're gonna get that. You're gonna get ticket for your dream place or your desire of seeing this person will be manifested. It's gonna be a very happy moment, you'll be moved to tears of happiness. I do feel there's a wish of yours you may have confessed to someone, just a few people though. You're gonna get that even if you won't understand how or why. Maybe, you'll feel like you're not deserving of that. That's not true: your Guides want to take care of you, and also your friends (or the people you confessed this dream of yours) want to celebrate you, so stop self betraying yourself and go on wishing whatever it is that you want. You may even get it. (BTW be open to receiving: it's not up to you to decide if you deserve a gift or not. Let the Universe decide, it knows better and can read you objectively, even when you don't). You can talk with someone in the 3d or ask to the Universe/Guides, you can write (as a Santa's letter), you can hold your vision in your mind... just let your heart be open and stop letting the past hold you back: you can get out of that rut/cycle. End it by being open (with thos eyou trust though: not everyone will want your best, remember that. Trust your guts. even if your Guides are protecting you, just beware). Also, if you don't think your birthday is gonna go well, remember you can make it anyway you want it to be. Ask your Guides for support and positive vibes, and just plan to do something for yourself. You have no idea what can happen the moment you give out some good vibes in the Universe.

songs: imagine | ariana grande; just an illusion | imagination; i love u | the chainsmokers sorry no mind-channeled song for you but I added a 3rd one anyway :)

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pile 4

Your birthday seems freeing. In particular from some kind of weight, maybe even from your past. You're gonna feel relieved. Happy. Calm and content. Serene. I see someone dancing with their arms open in the sun (could be in winter or spring). You're gonna be playful, joyful, maybe even start running around as you haven't done in a while. It's gonna feel like a real new start. You have confidence, you're strong, you know you can do anything and be anyone you want. You'll feel poweful, but not prideful. You'll know it, and that's gonna be enough. You will enjoy your day, alone or with some friends, you'll probably even gift yourself something (some free time, a walk, music, a book...): well done, you deserve that kind of self love and appreciation. You cannot see it now, but there's gonna be a miraculous change in your life, even through a message or news. All very sudden but all very fated. Maybe a fated meeting... could be different things for each of you. But it's gonna be a beautiful surprise, just for you. A great new start, maybe in love or in your creativity. It's a farewell to the old, a total change from what has been, a total complete goodbye to the old cycle. And it's gonna feel so beautifully liberating inside. You know and are aware that you can trust your Guides and inner cycle of friends/fam/people to support you and even if now you can't see much of it, just know that deep inside you're already changing toward that energy. Start looking at what you have, not what you miss, be grateful, embark on this journey knowing your worth and all you have, and remember that things can always change for the better. And you'll be able to receive too. Believe in magic and in your abilities. Start looking inside of yourself and putting a light onto your darkness. You know you can embrace it and make it better. You are that powerful. You don't need to be scared of it, you can hug it, and make it something different from what it's supposed to be. Take care of yourself and remember things may go well even when they seem to (or you perceive them as) go in a negative way. Or you struggle to find the positive side. After your day though, you'll be able to see all this and stop the negative to get to you too much. (angel number 1551) Some of you may come from other piles or you may be attracted to other piles too. Cannot see much more about the actual celebration (or maybe you just like to keep a low profile and spend time by yourself or e.g. meet with a couple of friends for a coffee), I think things may still change and be different for many of you, or the surprise may make the whole day... just know it's gonna be and feel good.

songs: unbelievable | craig david; silver spoon | bts; rescue me | ultra sorry no mind-channeled song for you but I added a 3rd one anyway :)