#but Stede also has to deal with the fact that his desire to be More Piratey might hurt ED

[bougiebutchbinch]

I just love the parallel of Stede saying to Ed 'you deserve to be loved even if you have done bad things. you deserve to be soft and sweet and you deserve to have kindness' and Ed saying to Stede 'you deserve to go fucking apeshit darling <3 tear them apart with your bare hands. that's my husband, yeah the one covered in blood. so fucking proud of him'

and obviously they both say to Izzy 'you too deserve to be loved and treated with kindness and you didn't deserve pain and suffering and you don't need to be afraid of your own vulnerability; you are safe to be vulnerable with us' and then they all kiss

[sarucane]

Why did Ed think becoming a fisherman made any sense at all?

Seriously, this was always a ridiculous idea. Stede gets zero blame for laughing the first time Ed says it--it's an even crazier and more extreme whim than Ed saying "we'll go to China." And it's reasonable that it blindsides Stede for Ed to be leaving--a few hours ago Ed was making Stede breakfast in bed and taking Stede out to his favorite restaurant, and now he's leaving forever. That's a hell of a mindfuck there. So why does Ed think it makes sense to follow this whim?

Ed starts this episode by throwing away his leathers. He's trying to discard and excise the 'kraken' part of his personality, trying to consciously transform into something else (hence wearing Button's clothes).

At first, he's also trying to embrace being with Stede.

He volunteers information that shows how important Stede is to him by describing the mermaid vision. But, just like when he told Stede about how "sometimes it's nice to just be patient," Ed's not directly owning his feelings here. He's skimming right past the fact that it was he, himself, who was choosing (unconsciously, but still choosing) to die, and his bond to Stede is why he came back. In fact, the closest he comes to actually saying he felt a certain way is by admitting he panicked over the twine.

And Stede, who just feels so secure in this relationship right now, more comfortable in his skin than we've ever seen him, just does not get Ed's insecurity. He doesn't reassure Ed by saying "the breakfast is great with or without the twine" he says "it actually made it!" And when Ed tells about the vision, Stede doesn't seem to register how big a deal it was.

They're not communicating here, they're just not. They've had this very intimate experience, but there's still distance between them. The visuals reinforce this: they're at opposite ends of the bed, they don't come close to touching at any point in the scene. Ed's dressed and Stede's comfortably naked.

Ed snuck out of bed and went to throw his leathers away by himself. He doesn't tell Stede what he's done, and Stede doesn't comment on Ed walking around in Buttons' clothes. Ed's thrown away the kraken--and then he watches Stede embrace being "a sea god."

And this fear and disconnection to Stede goes right back to how Ed's been acting ever since he came back. He's not been opening up to Stede. He's not been willing to get vulnerable with Stede again; he doesn't trust himself not to wreck it and get his heart broken, and he doesn't trust Stede not to break his heart. The filmmaking choices (bless this amazing meta for explaining it all) have been signaling this ever since they found each other again: they love each other, but they're on different wavelengths.

Ed's trust in Stede is brittle, even before he gets the idea that he and Stede want different things out of life (piracy vs anything-but-piracy). So, Ed goes out and sits with himself. Then he takes Izzy's suggestion and he listens to himself, to his desire not to live a certain life anymore.

But rather than deciding to talk to Stede about this, he decides he's going to leave before the conversation even starts.

Ed gets really, really close to real communication with Stede here. He admits that he doesn't feel safe in the relationship, and that the speed and intensity that Stede has reveled in have made Ed feel less safe.

And even now, even though he lost all track of Ed for a big chunk of the day and now he's being surprised by deep withdrawal--Stede is still all in. He could have been heartbroken or angry. He could have panicked and apologized, or frozen and shut down the conversation.

Instead, Stede listens. And he tries to make good on what he told Ed: "I love everything about you."

But Ed doesn't really hear this, because he doesn't trust Stede, the connection between them, or himself. Because "Trust no one" includes not trusting oneself.

Rather than engaging with what Stede actually says, Ed starts ranting, and uses his own insecurities to push Stede away. Stede's right, it is panic.

Stede mirrors Ed's body language all through this part of the scene. He gets what's happening, understands insecurity and what it can trigger (particularly related to an insecurity of "I'm bad for you you're better off without me") deeply--which is why it's so easy for him to forgive this later.

But while Stede understands exactly what's going on now that Ed's finally talking to him directly, for Ed it's all confusing and happening much too fast. So he shuts down, lashes out, and bails out.

Figuring himself out is complicated, navigating his relationship with Stede is complicated, trust and self-realization are complicated. Fishing, on the other hand, is simple. Unlike love or psychological integration, there's no risks in fishing.

[biceratops7]

Let’s deconstruct this…

Ok, so at this point I’ve seen a great many things written on Who Ed is with a capital W, and even I’ve thrown bits and pieces of my hat in the ring. But there is one particular thing I have a burning desire to express, and that is, respectfully, Edward’s softness is his own damnit.

There’s a pretty popular notion gaining traction in the fandom that Ed’s softness is just as much a performance as Blackbeard. That him embracing it fully in those brief moments of episode 10 before “the kraken” was unhealthy actually, and he wasn’t being true to himself. In summary: Ed requires Blackbeard to be whole. And my question is: why do people find Ed an unreliable narrator in his softness, or more specifically, why do people think he lacks autonomy of it?

It bothers me when people say that Ed is trying to be like Stede to gain approval in these moments, because the only major similarity I see is aesthetic. Guys a huge theme of the show is older queer men finally finding ways to escape varying forms of toxic masculinity, and understanding that their queerness does not exclude them from manhood. Homogenizing two effeminate gay men and implying that one is “losing himself” to the idiosyncrasies of the other goes directly against this goal. In fact it actually perpetuates negative gay stereotypes, but I’ve made a video essay where I discuss that at length.

Edward writes and performs a song on deck when he wants to process and share his feelings openly. Not only is this waaay more emotional honesty than we ever see Stede express (on purpose at least), but this is a creative outlet unique to Ed. Theatrical story telling is an established motif in Ed’s character the same way literary storytelling is for Stede’s. Edward’s not only dealing with his hurt in a way Stede definitely wouldn’t (he didn’t, Stede went out of his way pretend everything was fine in episode 8), he’s also doing so through an established passion of his.

The Swede wasn’t full of shit when he said that performance can simply be an expression of you. This is not Ed trying to put on a new mask when the old one proved ineffective. This is him finding comfort and even joy in finally using performance to reveal himself instead of hide. I don’t understand why the credit for this beautiful moment of self discovery must be ripped from Ed and used to accuse Stede.

It’s the same with the “SiLk GoWn”. This is the same person who lovingly touches every piece of nice fabric he lays eyes on, and lit up like a fucking Christmas tree the second someone said the word “fashion.” Ed has had a deep love and longing for such a soft pretty thing since day 1. These were ingrained and suppressed in Ed all long before Stede came on the scene. That robe may literally belong to Stede, but just as he wore it as a sign of his newfound boldness under the safety of someone loving him for who he is, Ed’s choice to wear it symbolizes the blossoming autonomy of his own identity. To continue enjoying the things Stede made him feel safe enjoying even without his presence.

Now let’s move on (or backwards I guess?) to the academy. Something I’ve seen a lot is people decrying that Ed is sacrificing his authenticity to play a housewife for Stede. Guys… he just folded some socks, calm tf down. Saying something like this about a gay man just trying to do something small and sweet for someone he loves, again, really seems to perpetuate the toxic masculinity this show hauls ass to deconstruct. Yes the answer to toxic masculinity isn’t just “effeminacy is perfect and good”. But Ed can be genuinely content with finally being able to partake in the domesticity he never got to experience without perpetuating that.

And you know what, he can be unsure of the best way to fulfill that desire and change his mind. I don’t quite like the disregard for Ed’s autonomy when people say his decision to stay at the academy or find an escape is driven only by whatever he thinks Stede wants. He is taking Stede’s feelings into consideration because that is perfectly healthy when you love someone and want a life with them, but his choices are still absolutely driven by his own needs moment by moment too.

I think people really take Ed understandably not wanting to be subjugated by the British and run with it. Like yes he is visibly uncomfortable with the soldiers treating him like an exotic animal they’ve tamed because no shit. But I don’t know how many times Ed has to blatantly state he does not want to be a pirate anymore for it to be believed.

Edward is not an exception to this. Even if he managed to thrive emotionally in this line of work once upon a time and there are aspects of it he enjoys, Ed still became a pirate out of desperation. He didn’t choose it any more than Oluwande and Jim did, he was fleeing poverty and abuse.

It’s not that piracy is a net bad and that Ed should want to distance himself from it. It’s that he assumed piracy is the only option he’s ever had in life even when it hurts him, and the realization that he has the freedom to choose differently is empowering and a net good. Him wanting to run to China with Stede, or take the crew’s funky acts on the road, whether they’re practical or not (especially in this show) is beside the point. The point is Ed’s absolute unbridled joy in their possibilities, the pure delight in discovering that you are not chained to a series of decisions you made under extreme duress 30 years ago.

No, Ed is not doing a complete 180 of his personality during his NoBeard era. He’s been forced to sacrifice his personhood for decades, and is now finally wrestling it out the grasp of thousands of people… at the age of 50 and during two of his darkest moments no less. How absolutely amazing.

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

OFMD 2.01-2.03 thoughts!

Spoilers aplenty!

I've only watched the episodes the once so far so I'm sure I'm gonna forget a lot of stuff, but I can contain myself no longer, and must speak!

Oh man, I am SO EXCITED. I couldn't sleep because trying to go to bed with this many fictional feelios crackling away inside of me was just impossible, like I'd chugged a crazy amount of caffeine. This is also exactly how I felt the night that 1.09 and 1.10 aired, so it felt so fitting. (Ironically, I'm writing this before I have my caffeine today because I can wait no longer, so it might make no sense. But I have to try!)

I've watched season one soooooo many times -- like, every episode is just completely scored upon my psyche, I basically have the whole thing memorized -- so it felt so WILD to finally be getting MORE and it was REAL! This also reminded me of how the season one finale was perhaps the most upset I've ever been about television, outside of unjust character deaths, HIMYM, etc. -- like, upset in a way where it was narratively thrilling to be so upset, for a change! But the emotional distress of that ending obviously settled down a bit to me once I'd watched the episode for the zillionth time and just really got used to what happened to Ed. That initial shock wore off. So picking up where that episode left off and spending these episodes really bearing witness to him still being in that place was SO VISCERALLY UPSETTING AND WILD AND GREAT!!!!!! Oh my God, Taika Waititi. Aaaaaacting!!!!

Everything just being darker, richer, so unhinged was really thrilling -- we can't really go back to the sort of affable placidity of a lot of season one, or at least not right now, and it just felt really appropriate for where the story is and like a really natural growth to the tone. I think it also really had a sense of exuberance powered by how lovingly received season one was, which just felt great to watch.

The gorgeous New Zealand landscapes, oh my God!!!! And how fitting it feels, now that it's not Stede playing at pirates so much as everything being Really God Damn Real, that the physical world has expanded so much around them and there's so much more of a sense of sublime natural beauty.

STEDE WAS A MERMAN!!!!!! sorry, getting ahead of myself here. But my God, I am so obsessed with the fact that they just went for that moment. It's camp! It's achingly beautiful! It's The Shape of Water, it's Splash, it's Zoolander, it's a reverse Killing Eve that my soul sorely needed! Kate Bush was there! They almost kissed under the water! ED'S LOVE FOR STEDE INTERRUPTED HIS DESIRE TO DIE! AUGHHHHHH.

I'm really, really sad that my internet gave out right in the middle of that sequence. I just feel so bummed that I'll never experience it for the first time the way David Jenkins & Co. intended because technology betrayed me! I will never have known the emotional build of that moment the way it was meant to be seen. 😢 But oh well! I'm dealing with it! I'm being so brave! (I'm always extremely weird about wanting fiction to have the exact impact on me that the creators strove for it to, and it really bothers me when it gets interrupted somehow. But at least, you know, it was just THIS, the show and romance I currently care most about in the WORLD!)

Anyway: the handholding and how it mirrors Ed putting his hand over Stede's and that close-up in 1.04! YES! What a shot to end the episode on, sob sob sob!

I also loved the two close-ups of Ed's eyes, at the start of the wedding rampage and then when he wakes up. Parallels! Yesss!!!

I know we all kinda expected it to happen for the whole hiatus, but that doesn't diminish at all the pure joy and unhingedness of Stede's total love for Ed never wavering even at the news that Ed's rampaging his way across the high seas in a state of total derangement. If that's a dealbreaker, then that's not love! They made him look like a GHOUL!

I really liked the tension between Stede and Lucius because that was something I hadn't really thought to expect. And Stede giving Lucius jaded life advice! Yes!

Sidenote: Lucius, alive? Who could have possibly seen it coming??? (Also, his reunion with Pete, 🥹🥹🥹!)

I also just generally loved getting to see the crew again and all of their antics together figuring out their circumstances. I missed you all so much!!!

MORE LADIES YESSSSS! I love Archie!!!!! I love Zheng!!!! I love Auntie!!!!! And I loved getting to see Spanish Jackie living her best life again! Such a joy to have so many hilarious badass women around. I am living for them all.

The romantic quadrangle stuff popping up with Olu and Jim was great fun on all sides (even if I had to watch makeouts while Jim was holding a recently severed leg; please, set aside the leg!), and I also loved how Jim told Olu about it right away and just the sweet vibes between them in their reunion scene, aww. Looking forward to seeing whatever happens there.

In particular, Zheng crushing on Olu was so cute and like, who can blame her?? History's greatest pirate: she's just like us! Omg, what an enemy for them to have now.

Also, Jim doing the voices for Fang FOREVER!!!!! Such a sweet moment! And Jim's speech about how sweet life on The Revenge used to be and how happy they all were together absolutely tore my heart out. Because yeah!!! I feel like we the audience members were part of that crew too!!! WE HAVE TO GO BACK, KATE!!!

I had vowed to hate Izzy forever, I held steadfast to my vow for all those hiatus months, and then these three episodes were like, "Ha ha, yeah right!" Magnificently played, ya bastards!!! You got me! I especially loved when he said to Stede that the two of them made Ed into what he became; that was so interesting and I'm really curious to see how Stede and Izzy's dynamic grows. Iz, I am so sorry about your many toes and then your leg. Wishing you the coolest peg leg.

Random sidenote: when Auntie was like, "Buttons is a sea witch contained in the body of a mortal man," I was 100% like ... That makes so much sense, actually??? I, for one, am a believer. Is this why you can speak seagull, sir/sea witch?

The whole sequence with Ed and Dream Hornigold in episode 3 was so good, aughhhhh! And THE RETURN OF JEFF. I love how on some level Ed just wants to work in the hospitality industry. Let! Him! And! Stede! Retire! And! Open! Their! Inn! Slash! Snakery! Snackery!

I am so excited that we have post-credits episode tags now. As if this show could get any more exquisite. IT DID. Now there's always just a lil' nibble more!

I love how, just like in season one, we got our Ed/Stede-less time out of the way quick by having the first three eps all air together. And now, let us sail perilously further into feelings land!

I have so much more to say but I'm so tired and I need black tea. I'm sure I'll be back later today with a zillion more belated thoughts! PEACE! 🧜‍♂️

Also, just a few Cinematic New Zealand Beach Vibes notes -- the opening dream sequence had me like, "Xena and Gabrielle at the end of 'The Bitter Suite'!"* and Ed waking up in beach purgatory had me like, "THE PIANO!" I just had to share. Idk why. Have I mentioned how happy I am that season two gets to be in New Zealand??

*Idk if this is in any way deliberate, but I firmly maintain that Ed/Stede has a lotta roots in Xena/Gabrielle. Like, if you ever feel like the universe simply can't give you enough Ed/Stede (understandable), then you should watch Xena for a lot of similar shippy emotional thrills. OFMD had better give us a nicer ending, tho. (Today I learned from a D. Jenks interview that Blackbeard historically got beheaded!!)

Okay, time to go stare at a million gifsets.

[glamaphonic]

OFMD Ask Game

Did Ed really plan to murder Stede when he told Izzy the plan?

Absolutely, imo! I frankly never even considered otherwise until after my mumblemumble rewatch when I came on Tumblr and saw discussion of it. I got the sense that some of the question arises from the idea of Ed and Stede’s whole (canonical wtf!) Love At First Sight thing. But that doesn’t preclude that Ed’s plan started out real. (Also, 'falling for the mark' just! hits! different!)

Like, Ed and Stede are very clearly, very instantly into each other. And Ed’s fascination with Stede, his being charmed by him, his being drawn to him, that’s all absolutely genuine. 

In fact, Ed is even more aware of what’s going on between them since he’s more experienced than Stede. Not in terms of being in love, neither of them has ever experienced that before, but in that Ed a) knows and is to some degree comfortable with the fact that he’s gay (I almost typed “Ed is a practicing gay” lol), and b) understands and has acted upon desire for men. So even beyond the visceral BEFORE YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE I MISSED YOU SO BAD, I also think Ed is fully AWARE that he has, at the very least, a crush on Stede.

BUT Ed’s a pirate and Stede is, nominally, a pirate. And pirates are all just in various stages of fucking each other over!

I think that when Ed goes and catches Izzy and tells him, hey I have a plan that’s going to solve things for both of us, stick around to run this con with me and you’ll get to be a captain and I’ll get to retire, he absolutely means it. He wouldn’t have been able to be so easily convinced into attempting it in The Art of Fuckery or been so guilty about it if he’d never intended to do it! He’s not lying about his intentions. He has no real compelling reason TO lie about his intentions in that moment.

I think the only lie is that at no point is he as CAVALIER about doing it as he presents to Izzy. Thus the whole smug Yes I Know I Still Got It grin and bow and then immediate MY HEART IS EMPTY MY SOUL IS EMPTY when he turns away.

Ed PLANS to do it, but he doesn’t especially WANT to do it. Not only because he knows that he does really like this fancy man Stede character already, but because he’s just tired of this shit! But he also, at that point, doesn’t see another option. He thinks that this is his only way out of the empty, depressing, lonely cage of boredom his life has become.

The point where he begins to more actively mislead both his crew and, imo HIMSELF, about the plan is after “You wear fine things well.” Which is when Ed realizes, Oh, I don’t just think this guy is cute and fun to be around and want to bone him. I’m catching real ass feelings for him.

And then he just spends weeks, imo, stalling and deliberately NOT thinking about it! Because it’s moved beyond something he doesn’t really want to do but feels is necessary to something that is actively awful for him to consider doing and is a betrayal of a relationship that he’s come to value! And even more, the entire reason for doing it has become murkier because he’s already enjoying life so much more with Stede. Why does he even need to retire and run away when he’s actually alive and having fun again, possibly more than he ever has in his life, right here, right now, on this ship, being a pirate with this insane, weird, wonderful man?

That’s why after Fang and Ivan and Izzy confront him, he refers to it as “his mess” that he’ll deal with. Because they’ve brought him back to reality (at least, their understanding of it) and he’s forced to confront the fact that he’s in way too deep and he’s fucked up the plan because of it.

It’s not until Ed finds he can’t do it and admits it to Stede and Stede instantly forgives him that the plan genuinely dies its final death. Which is, of course, what he articulates when Izzy forces the issue.

When he tells Izzy, “We’re not doing this,” it’s not something he was holding back or or always thinking. He would’ve had no real reason not to admit that before, especially when directly confronted. The fact that he’s not going to do this, that he’s never going to intentionally hurt Stede, his friend, is something he’s just realized and accepted for himself.