#but Syd and Marcus were there doing it really well and no one seemed to care about the direction it took😒

[faerygrant]

having a family with carmy thoughts and headcanons pt.1

summary: engagement, wedding, honeymoon, baby!

౨ৎ Carmen doesn’t propose until 5 years into the relationship! Which although felt like a longtime ended up being worth it, as he had been through extensive therapy and had learned to deal with his anxiety and family traumas.

౨ৎ The wedding is simple and spontaneous, early morning, family heirloom rings at the courthouse. With Nat and Pete being the witnesses. Carmen’s on edge most of that morning until Pete talks him down, which you’re thankful for.

౨ৎ The reception likewise is a simple affair held in Nat and Pete’s spacious backyard. Bright fairy lights are strewn about the garden, long tables laid out for family, friends and staff from the bear. You’d insisted on having a champagne tower, which Carmy had kindly instructed Richie and Fak to put together, to your surprise it had gone well, leaving guests in awe.

౨ৎ The cake was Millefeuille, a classic for Italian weddings, it was the only thing that Carmen had explicitly asked for during the wedding prep and you were happy to oblige. The catering was courtesy of Sydney and Tina and by the looks of the satisfied guests it was a hit. Carmen’s family sat across one large table, so did your family and friends, meanwhile the staff of the Bear had their own.

౨ৎ After your first dance, which Carmen had been apprehensive about from the beginning had actually gone well, the two of you made your way over to greet the guests. The staff were all smiles as they conversate amongst each other, Richie cracking jokes with them as he went back and forth between their table and the family one, Tina and Sydney chatting lightly and Fak and Ebra rating the desserts for Marcus, who was kind enough to prepare an array of treats for the occasion.

౨ৎ By the end of the night you’d ended up in Sydney’s arms, blackout drunk, while Carmen who didn’t drink much, save for a few flutes of champagne, bid the guests goodbye on your behalf. You didn’t remember much except Sugar and Syd helping you out of your dress and getting your settled into the car with Carmy.

౨ৎ The honeymoon is short but memorable, due to yours and Carmen’s hectic work schedules. Spent in the South of France, the two of you bond over food, wine and ofcourse the art. It’s so calming for you to see him so at ease, not on edge and genuinely relaxed, being surrounded by the two things he loved most, food and art, he really was in his element.

౨ৎ The conversation of kids is never brought up, but you see the longing glances Carmen gives his niece and nephew, or the genuine smiles he gives when Richie shows him one of Eva’s many accomplishments. Giving you hope, that maybe someday he’d be open to having some of his own.

౨ৎ Your world is turned upside down when during an early summer morning you’re awoken by violent fits of illness. Throwing up into the toilet bowl while experiencing the most painful acid reflux in your life. You’re tired and upset and Carmen’s freaking out, opting to call in for the day incase you’d come down with a bug, as to not get the rest of the staff sick. When the sickness persists however and Carmen doesn’t seem to be getting sick, he goes back to work and that’s when you notice something strange.

౨ৎ A little red punctuation mark had been missing for a month now and that’s when you knew you’d have to take a test, for better or for worse. So once Carmy had left for the restaurant you’d scrambled to CVS for the test and taken it in the bathroom because you couldn’t wait for the results.

౨ৎ Explaining that you were 3+ weeks pregnant to your husband with commitment issues, anxiety, ptsd and familial trauma was nerve wracking. You didn’t know how to do it, when to do it and honestly you’d contemplated just placing the test on his side table and hiding in the attic of your new home, but alas you couldn’t.

౨ৎ Carmen’s day off was the day you’d deicided to come clean, he could tell you were still feeling well but thankfully hadn’t put two and two together. So early in the morning after making him breakfast you’d sat him down and cut to the chase. It’s safe to say that tears were shed, good and bad and after guiding him through breathing exercises his therapist had taught the both of you, you were able to get him to calm down.

౨ৎ He admitted that he was scared and you were so glad he was able to be so vulnerable with you, in sharing his fears and doubts. You assured him, held each other and made promises you’d hope the other could keep. As the months of your pregnancy passed you saw growth in Carmy, he lit up at the ultrasounds, cried from joy during the first scan, went above and beyond for your private gender reveal and was so hands on when it came to nursery duty.

౨ৎ Valentina Berzatto’s arrival took place during the early hours of the 14th of February, Valentine’s Day. Hence the name Valentina. (Also to stick to his Italian roots) you were exhausted, carmen was in tears as he laid his daughter against his bare chest as you watched the two of them, feeling so thankful for your family.

౨ৎ Your parents had come in about the same time as Sugar, Pete and their kids, all of whom were all smiles carrying with them; gifts and flowers in tow. The cousins were so excited to meet the baby, squealing and giggling as their parents assisted them in taking turns to hold her. Your parents were equally as excited, snapping photos of the ordeal, congratulating both you and Carmy.

౨ৎ Valentina hadn’t met the staff of the bear till her 3rd day on earth, as the two of you had been so exhausted and all you both seemed to do was sleep. So Carmy had offered for his staff to come visit the hospital around afternoon before the two of you fell asleep. Tina was the first to come say hi, happily taking her namesake into her arms and cooing in delight. Before she had passed the baby back to Carmen to fuss over you and ensure you were feeling okay. Sydney was as expected, frightened but excited for the both of you, she was scared to hold Val at first, but Carmen insisted she wouldn’t harm her so she did, smiling at you when your baby had opened her eyes and stretched while in Syds arms.

౨ৎ The boys from the bear were as expected, obnoxious in their introduction to Valentina. Richie and Fak insisted on showing up in suits to make a good first impression on their “niece” to which Carmy had just rolled his eyes and smiled. Richie however was dead serious and you were pretty sure you’d seen a stray tear fall from his eyes, when he first held the baby (which he was quick to cover up). You smiled in joy however when you witnessed him take Carmy aside, hugging him tightly and letting him know that Mikey would’ve been “fuckin’ proud.”

౨ৎ The first few months of parenthood aren’t easy on the two of you, at all. Carmen is caught up at work, while you’re left with Valentina for hours on end most days. Carmen tries, he really does, to keep you happy, taken care of and make you feel supported but he gets consumed by his work too often. The fourth month in particular is hardest on you, Val suffers bouts of colic daily, Carmen is nonstop at the bear and getting his attention is near impossible and you’re just utterly exhausted. That’s when Carmen and Nat find you curled up in a ball beside Val’s bassinet one day after work. You’re distraught, disheveled and inconsolable, while your daughter sleeps soundly.

౨ৎ Carmen genuinely feels like he’d failed in life, the sight had him so fucking scared that he thought you would do something tragic. He immediately takes time off work, spending most his mornings and nights feeding, burping and soothing your baby. He stays by your side throughout the day, ensuring you’ve eaten, bathed and had some alone time away from the baby. After the heartbreaking scene from that evening, Nat had sat him down after he’d had a full blown panic attack and warned him of the consequences of postpartum, and gave him tips on ways he support you through it.

౨ৎ As Valentina approached ten months it was clear to the both of you that your girl had quite the personality. The two of you spent most of your days together, seeing daddy off to work in the early mornings before a feed, followed by a diaper change. Tummy time was Val’s favourite and you always snapped photos of her gummy smile to send to her dad. Nap time was your personal favourite due to the few hours of baby free peace you got, it was made even better when Carmen’s lunch would fall under this time, giving the two of you some time to be together.

౨ৎ Both you and Carmen did bath time together, Valentina splashing around happily as the two of you happily allowed her to soak you, every time. After lots of water, bubbles and smooches, you have Carmen sit in and quietly read to your girl as you feed her before bed in her cozy rocking chair, courtesy of Donna (one of many things she’d spontaneously brought over for the baby during a fit of hysteria)

let me know if you’d like a part 2!

[noforkingclue]

Hey there! I’m back again with another request (only if you want to write it though!)

I was looking at the prompts you reblogged and thought that this one: "i know what having a crush feels like and this is nothing close..." "have you considered that it's because this is more than just a crush?" "stop talking." might be one that could work for either Tommy Shelby or Carmy from The Bear — whichever you feel it fits better with!!

I look forward to seeing who you choose! Thanks so much in advance if you choose to write it! 🥰

Of course I want to write this!!! I went with Carmy for this because the prompt gave me a chance to torture him slightly...

I hope you like the fic :)

Title: Misunderstandings

Prompt list: list

Everything tag list: @greenrevolutionary, @byebyebreezywrites, @spngingerbread21, @layazul, @lov3vivian, @simonsbluee

“Thanks Syd,” you said as you shrugged on your coat, “I really appreciate this. I owe you one big time.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Syd said rolling her eyes but you could see the smile on your face, “you do owe me one.”

“Oi,” you paused just as you were about to leave, “where the fuck do you think you’re going?”

You looked over your shoulder and grinned at Richie. He gave you an unimpressed loo and tossed you a cloth.

“You going to fucking help us clear up or not?” he asked

“Can’t tonight.”

“I thought we’re a fucking team now?”

“Syd let me leave early as long as I come in early another day.”

You tossed the cloth back at him and Richie caught it onehanded.

“And also when did you actually help with closing?”

“I’m always here.” Richie said

“Sitting down and criticising our work isn’t ‘helping’. Now I’ve really got to be going.”

A chorus of goodbyes came from the others. You briefly made eye contact with Carmy and gave him a small smile. He quickly looked away and disappeared into the back. You felt a pang of sadness course through you. However, you didn’t have time to dwell on it. You were going to be late if you didn’t leave.

“So,” Richie turned to Syd after you had gone, “why the fuck was she allowed to leave early?”

“She didn’t say. Although it could be a date.”

A crash from the kitchen made everyone look over. Carmy stumbled out, face red when he realised that everyone was staring at him. The smirk of Richie’s face seemed to widen at the revelation of why Carmy had been hiding.

“A date,” Richie said, “well she kept that fucking quiet. Doesn’t she trust us?”

“Maybe it’s because it’s none of our fucking business.” Carmy said

“I thought you’d be interested in this, cousin.”

“Why the fuck would you think that?”

“With your massive fucking crush on her? Thought you’d want to know who your competition is.”

“I don’t have a fucking crush on her.”

Richie let out a snort of disbelief and Syd raised her eyebrows. A ripple of laughter rose from the others at Carmy’s denial.

“Nah,” Richie shook his head, “we can all fucking see it.”

“I know what having a crush feels like,” Carmy snapped, “and this is nothing close.”

“Have you considered that it’s because this is more than just a crush?” said Marcus

Carmy’s attention snapped over to Marcus who shrugged in acknowledgement.

“Shut up.” Carmy said but the words came out slightly choked

Immediately the rest of the staff burst out laughing. Richie tossed the cleaning cloth of Carmy and said,

“Then why the fuck don’t you go after her?”

“You think you’re in place to give him relationship advice?” said Tina

“And why the fuck can’t I?”

“She’s going on a date,” said Marcus, “You can’t do that when she’s about to see someone else.”

“She should’ve taken him here,” said Richie, “then you could see what you’re dealing with, cousin.”

“Why the fuck would she bring a date to work? That would be a shit date.” said Syd, “See, this is why we shouldn’t listen to you when it comes to these things.”

“Shut the fuck up!”

Carmy leant against the wall and ran a hand over his face as his staff dissolved into arguing. Was his feelings for you really that obvious? Clearly he hadn’t been doing as good of a job of hiding them as he originally thought.

“Besides, we don’t even know if she’s going on a date.” Syd’s voice echoed above the noise

“Wait, who’s going on a date and why didn’t anyone let me know about the gossip?”

Silence fell and everyone glanced towards the door. Carmy’s felt the blush slowly creep up his neck as the two of you locked gazes.

“Turns out my sister isn’t feeling well so we had to cancel our plans,” you said, “so I came back to pull my weight! So, who’s going to tell me what’s been going on?”

[noangeleither]

yin and yang: carmy and sydney's creative processes + menu planning

what i love about analyzing carmy and sydney is the way they mirror each other. their similarities and differences, and how they have the potential to complement each other well. truly make each other better at this.

this is most evident with the way they approach creating a dish.

sydney's creative process

evidenced by sheridan (s01e05) and sundae (s02e03), sydney is very imaginative when it comes to creating a dish. the editing in these episodes gives us an intimate view of her creative process. recipes often come to her in dreams/daydreams.

sydney gets inspired by her passion for cooking, her family history and her city/world around her (architecture, nature, other restaurants in Chicago). this really fits into sydney's motivations as a chef.

Sydney uses food to make people happy. She likes to take care of people. someone on here explained the significance of sydney wanting exactly one michelin star, which would signify affordable high quality food that normal everyday people have access to. in braciole she mentions to marcus that her dad and her didn't really go out to eat so when they did, they made it count and it was special. she wants to create an experience like that with her own spot (the Bear).

so naturally that is reflected in her food. its not simply a great meal, but a fabric/archive of her culture, history, worldview and entire character.

while sydney has a very imaginative creative process, she often just jots down her ideas in her little notebook(s), for later reflection.

carmy's creative process

carmy has a more tense relationship with cooking. while sydney and carmy are both amazing chefs, carmy seems to be more jaded and detached from his work.

for carmy he grew up in a household where food was a big part of his family. his mom, mikey, and nat can all cook well. he is naturally very great at it. he uses food to be closer to the people he loves. thats why in the face of rejection from his brother, he goes off and becomes one of the best chefs in the country out of spite. why he uses the beef to try and fix his relationship with mikey. why he was so devasted when syd quit and why he started his dream restaurant with her after she came back.

because we dont get an intimate look into carmys psyche when creating a dish, its harder to say but based off his monolouge in braciole (s01e8) and the way he uses food to connect with people he loves rather than having passion for it independently i can surmise that carmy isn't imaginative as sydney. food is more like a math equation (ironic)/a science.

“he’s the best bc he didn’t have any of the bullshit”, emotional ties/relationships of any kind. his career esp at EMP were isolating, rigid and cold. he was the best bc he was calculating, precise and competitive. which breeds excellence in his field while straying him further away from love and true passion.

i imagine carmy to be more pragmatic with creating a dish.

but carmy is a creative person at his core and while creating a dish might not be as colorful as when sydney does it. we do know that carmy can draw and visualize his ideas onto paper. "Sistine Chapel" level drawings according to syd.

sydney + carmy - potential true partnership

on my 3rd rewatch, i couldn't help but feel so dissatisfied with their partnership. granted this is on purpose since the show is only 2 seasons in and they are trying to do a slow burn in all aspects, not just romantic.

it really hit me that carmy and sydney have never - at least on screen - created a meal together. in s1, we never see the risotto come to fruition, we just get carmys input but never the finished product. in s2 finally, carmy and Sydney work together now that their dynamic has changed from boss and employee to partners. we get like what? 4 scenes of them creating the menu, and having this amazing professional chemistry but ultimately leads to two failed dishes, which would be ok if they worked together after that. but they dont...

instead for the rest of the season, we see them (mainly Syd) working on the menu separately. the menu is....alright. mainly has carmy written all over it (he has a the seven fishes + cannolis, weird homage to one of the worst nights of his life).

*putting on another pair of shipper goggles to say this makes the whole "you make me better at this" confession, even more mind-boggling bc better at what? you guys haven't even worked together all season. this = life , i rest my case*

in s3 and beyond, im excited for them to truly start working together as partners and actually see them create a dish together.

i want to see how their approaches to creating a dish can help the other.

how sydneys creative process can help carmy

besides the obvious romantic implications of the palette cleanser outing, the potential for them to understand each other on a deeper level in regards to food is something i mourn everyday.

after sydney goes on her trip solo, we see her ride the ferry and just take a look at her surroundings. shes thinking about the food she ate, shes looking at buildings, windows, looking at the snow. all inspiration for a dish.

imagine if carmy was there with her. he would be curious about what she's thinking about, get insight on how she creates and maybe want to learn to see food in a less practical way.

i mean he hadn't drawn in years it seems until he was inspired by sydney and the chaos menu to draw again....now imagine if he didn't ruin the moment by bringing up claire (LMFAO). the point is, sydney naturally sparks creativity and passion in him, even when they aren't together.

i know many people are theorizing that carmy will leave the culinary industry (and i agree most of the time) but i also think sydney is slowly but surely helping him discover/re-discover a passion for cooking. i think that carmy likes that sydney likes to take care of people because subconsciously he knows he does the same thing or has the potential for it (i.e making tiff sprite from scratch when she was experiencing morning sickness). evidenced by fishes (s02e6), care often feels like an obligation (he takes care of drunk donna when shes going through an episode) but it doesnt have to be this way. and now carmy wants to get a star for her....their interests are slowly aligning.

how carmys creative process can help sydney

this isn't as concrete as the one above but i found it interesting thinking about how carmys more pragmatic approach and sydneys idealistic approach can work in tandem.

first scene in pop (s02e5) shows sydney and tina late at night working on the tasting menu. later in the episode we find out that carmy has been pushing back menu planning leaving sydney on her own. she trying an elements concept which is extremly creative and impressive but even tina says, which sydney later agrees, that its a lot for a tasting menu.

im stretching maybe....but based on carmys comment on her risotto from the season before (needs acid) + his practical approach, it seems like he acts like a buffer when sydneys ideas get "a lot".

*in chemistry buffers are solutions added to resist pH changes when acidic and basic components are added*

so if carmy needs to be more creative and sometimes sydneys ambitions gets ahead of her....

sydney is the heart, while carmy is the brain (???)

one cannot work without the other. when they truly come together to create the menu, they both need to learn from one another to elevate the restaurant. not to mention with carmy's italian american roots and syd's Nigerian-Caribbean/southern roots, they have the potential for amazing fusion dishes and real partnership. i and others want the menu to physically reflect both of them.

conclusion

i literally dont know where im going with this. sorta kinda meta but its more like hopes and dreams for next season and me wanting to type my ideas down.

they complement each other well ok? and have potential for a great partnership once they communicate better. i like this part of the definition of yin and yang:  Their interaction is thought to maintain the harmony of the universe and to influence everything within it.

carmy and Sydney are the leaders of the bear, their relationship is foundational to the success of their restauarnt and team, once they work together truly, play to their strengths and weaknesses, then will come true harmony in their universe.

bonus

more sydcarm parallels/similaries/differences/yin yang moments:

carmys gold chain, syds silver earrings

carmys white t-shirts, syds white button ups

carmy is bad at math, syds great with numbers

carmy wasn't really great at school, this is sorta fanon but i can imagine syd excelled in school

both wear birkenstocks (more a chef thing but i still think its cute)

sunshine x grumpy trope but like better...usually the sunshine (syd) is more emotionally vulnerable making a space for grumpy (Carm), but they switch positions. carmy allows sydney to be more emotionally vulnerable often initiating deep conversations, while syd is more closed up/guarded

overall tho i think its cute that they are both shy/emotionally stunted but i do think purely aesthetic wise, sydney has a softer exterior ( doe eyes, colourful scarves, awkward) while carmy is more intimidating (tats, smokes, looks angry all the time)

both fight dirty - i.e their individual fights with richie (review, the bear)

carmy tho is more prone to outbrusts of anger/violence while sydney lets that shit shimmer until she explodes on you

both their passcode being 11111

carmy having dark mode on his phone, syd having light mode in s2

their matching clothes moments earlier in the second season and in bolognese

if theres more, pls comment/reblog, bc i always think of this shit and need more to cry about

fin!

credits: gif 1&2 , gif 3 and gif 4

[goddessxdivine]

a lot of people watched the bear and felt that it was lacking especially in terms of plot and I can understand that but I think s3 wasn’t that bad really. I think a lot of people had different expectations of what would happen this season, especially considering how much more fame that show has received. But imo the bear was never really the type of show that’s packing as much plot as they can into a season. I remember watching the s1 finale and feeling a bit let down (and I watched the show when it premiered so I had to live on a prayer that it’d get renewed and then had to wait the entire year before s2 lol). however, this is a show that I think you need to rewatch the season more than once. maybe im just a little slow lol but I’m always able to learn a bit more after a rewatch or two….or three.

I am not a fan of clairecarmy at all and my main goal for this season was to not have them shoved down my throat (especially in present time) so to me a win is a win fr lmao

back to rewatches. on the first watch, in ep1 we saw the scene where carmy makes the meal that syd told Marcus was the best thing she’s ever eaten. this is something I saw people mention but what is also important is that carmy had been experimenting with that recipe for a while. he never felt that he got it right. on my rewatch, I noticed that he made two (or three. I can’t recall off the top of my head) dishes the same way with the fennel thingie. but he felt the need to change it for one plate. he told the waiter that one of the dishes went to a table with a fennel allergy so he subbed blood orange. that was syd’s dish, her favorite dish that carmy made. now, does syd have a fennel allergy? most likely not since they were experimenting with fennel for a recipe in s2.

to me, this is just a testament to how well syd and carmy understand each other even when they didn't know each other personally. carmy is a terrible communicator (scientifically proven atp) but syd isn't always the greatest communicator either, at times shes avoidant (the best word that comes to mind). at the end of the day, they both respect each other and hold each other to certain standards that only they know even if they've yet to explore that themselves

in terms of plot between sydcarmy, there are things that I liked. for example, to me s3’s:

"I left you alone"

"so, don't let it happen again"

"it's never going to happen again"

and s2’s:

"you could do this without me"

"I couldn't do this without you. I wouldn't even want to do it without you"

are similar. they are both instances where carmy makes a profession to syd because he feels he has something to prove to her. platonic sydcarmy is nonexistent imo. syd is family (ex: syd saying she doesn’t know a lawyer. nat and carm saying “Pete”). who did carmy invite to go to the ever funeral despite having no place inviting anyone 😭 syd. he knew she hadn’t eaten there and this would be her last chance. richie being there? made sense. but he could’ve invited fak or anyone from the restaurant. but he invited syd.

some people said they saw something between luca and syd and tbh that was just will poulter and Ayo Edebiri being good actors lol tbh Ayo has chemistry with everyone it seems

tl;dr

the bear s3 was good and is overly judged. there definitely could’ve been improvements but it was good nonetheless. sydcarmy are forever 🤭

[camcastle]

We need to talk about Claire (I'm so late to the party I know, forgive me)

I procrastinated a bit to start The Bear S2 for some reason, so when I finally started and almost immediately disliked Claire I thought maybe it was just my biased opinion. But no, not entirely at least, apparently A LOT of people disliked Claire. Makes sense, she's an all-tell-no-show nothing burger of a character. But why? This show is amazing, can't be that it's bad writing, not specifically for one character.

I saw a few people theorizing that she's bland like that because the way we're seeing her is the way Carmy sees her. The old tale of falling in love with the imaginary version you created of someone instead of the real person they are. That would make sense, they chose to do it in a extremely annoying way, but it does make sense. Carmy had a crush on her as a teenager but never acted on it, so he probably already had this imaginary version of her ready to go since he was younger. And that's why she seems exactly like that, an imaginary woman idealized by a teenage boy with a crush. The extreme close-ups and ASMR-dialog every scene she's in plays into that as well, we're seeing this very narrow vision of this character. Watching her feels so forced and unreal, because it is.

And even (almost) every male character in the show being like "Claire is so perfect" would play into that same ingenue-trope fantasy these men created of this girl (not in a weird way, btw), because none of them really know-know her as a person.

If that's the case, if that's what they were going for, bravo! And I'm all in to see how this cracks, how Carmy comes to realize it's not healthy to try and date the idealized version of a real person because, sooner or later, reality will prevail and not correspond to the imagination, leaving everyone disappointed.

If that's what they were going for, I'm excited to see how it plays out in S3. This will be some very interesting development in Carmy's arc. - And then we'll need Syd's to be pushed in a similar fashion (but with different means) as well. Hence the Marcus plot. - But ok, that last part is very-very biased speculation, for sure.

---

Or not, or I'm all wrong. I am delusional after all, you already knew that by my last post. Curious to see what you guys think though.

[carmenized-onions]

chap pap 2 - electric boogaloo (well actually it’s about plumbing)

you ever start writing and you just cannot seem to find an end so you keep going forever? yeah. - 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️ i would kill to read your drafts anyhooo

Sitting in the back corner booth (your favourite) with Syd - yoooo the one she sat in with carmy and also mikey’s carving!! tony’s restaurant!! the circles are circling

“You wish you were dead when you’re there, but you’d rather be dead than do anything else?” - onion you are just describing life on a movie set (also i want to find a new nickname for you but i’m struggling)

“Dad cut the cord on his business phone when it transferred to me” - not entirely true now is it chippy!! well maybe it is but i just remember the thing about her not wanting people to be able to reach her after mikey

squidink are so cute, their lil morning date, and what’d you know they shared a smoochy smooch after

You would argue you're not even that close, but he'd slap you upside the head. - AS HE SHOULD!! (i’d go to war for their friendship)

you told Mikey he was getting a mold problem. - chippy is just superior

“S’been a while since he’s had a good influence.” - chippy being close with louis and eva just makes me:’))))

“I’m just saying, you’re alike.” - the way they all see it. oh be still my beating heart

He makes you jump for it - my 5’1 ass would be fucked. i mean i would TRY, trust, but

if you take all his names. - kicking ass and taking names, literally

On your way to the kitchen, you’re stopped and walked backwards to a booth in the corner by Richie. - this makes me emotional. i love them so much stop

not Richie coming with your ice water, but Carmen - pookie!!! wait now i just see the word poo, okay scratch that- BABYBOY!!!<3<3

He pauses mid slide into the booth, sitting across from you. He seemed all cool and collected and is now suddenly extremely caught off guard. Already sweaty. “Y-yeah, I’m better, thank you—” - this is the cutest interaction in the whole series. YEAH I SAID IT

“Carmy is fine. Tony is fine?” “I’m doing okay, yeah.” - HOW AM I NOT SUPPOSED TO BE UNHEALTHILY OBSESSED WITH THEM

You nod down at the dish. “Do the thing.” - i mean i know she’s the guy, but the way they seem so comfortable with each other (like old friends) already is so special to me

Two things can be true - they can!!

“It’s the plate, isn’t it? I told Syd—” - the plate 🥹 rip to a real one (jk it survived, but it was almost a frisbee)

You put a hand on his knee to stop the shaking - now i’m shaking

You’re nothing. You’re— - she and carmy are soooo similar ugh

“Who needs a coffee? Or water?” - my fave barista!!

Marcus has fresh coffee beans (that he’s willing to share!) - marcus crumb<33 backgroud bestieee

It’s too worth it, when she says it like that and slaps your cheek - it would add like 10 years to my life for sure

You switch it for a spiced coffee when he’s not looking. He’s silently very thankful. - chip really is that girl we knew she was

supreme favouritism - which carmy later gets<3

“It’s the one oat milk latte I made.” - oat milk!!!

then darts looks over her shoulder like she’s making an under the table deal - i love them and their schemes so much

Fak running by you to steal a coffee off your tray. - he’s so funny aidjeiri

“Collector’s item...” You nod / “That’s what I fuckin’ said!” - don’t think i forgot about this. i actually have not moved on from this moment

You pivot your shoulder for him to throw it over, hands too busy. / He throws it over your shoulder. - THEY’RE SO!!!!!

“Oh, fuck, missed your twists, Chip.” - he’s so💓💖🫶🏼💕

“Fuckin’ terrible, Carm.” - the way mikey would say this oh OH

Why it shot water straight at my tits— Close your eyes - i know he looked away but like 😁😁😁

removing your walls have completely shattered his. - yo this is so cute??

we must remember, I love Syd. - we must remember that is her gf

“You can’t take yourself?” “Bitch?” - LMFAOOO

“Like… an hour?” “It had been 23 minutes.” - Lakskfkfirorikr remember when we had ALL the comedy

“You’re doing a good job, Carmy.” - 🥹🥹🥹 i miss them so much

You’re considering a career in stand up exclusively for him because it feels like such a reward to hear it. - *evaporates*

“I’d say yeah, probably not ready for a relationship” - he is with the right person (please please please)

oh! i almost forgot but what is chip’s coffee order? i was thinking it seems plain based on the writing (her offering to swap if he didn’t like her fancier take) but i could also see her fucking with some syrups

“I know you’re a Michelin star fuckin’ big deal but like, me personally, I can’t name a thing I got perfect the first time I did it.” - i see how similar she and mikey is now, i really do. carmy you’re in love with your brother - well a mix of your brother and yourself

The Berf shall prevail. - aSJHDHEBSBA ONION

For a Bear, she sure knows how to poke one. - YOUR WRITING!!! mwah mwah mwah

“There’s something about a handywoman that Fak cannot match.” - real

She chuckles, slightly. There is something about you that feels familiar. - *clutches chest*

reading the old chapters now is so!!! like knowing the back story and how certain things are panning out (at least for now) just makes it even more enjoyable to read and to catch all your lil hints. you smartass.

Had to answer one last thing before bed (GUESS WHO DIDN’T FINISH THE DRAFT FUCK!!! But I’m like,,, like closing in,, i think,,, I do hate this last scene so far I think I have to barf out all the nonsense and pull back. Pray for me)

You think you would love to read my drafts but if you did you would find— Well actually, here, here’s a list of just some of the edits/beats I wrote for Something to Do. 

Should I be sharing my behind the scenes secrets? Probably not but eh it’s fine. Something to Do had I think the most edits out of any chapter. NONE OF THAT MATTERS THOUGH BABY WE’RE TALKING ABOUT CHAPTER 2 I JUST WANTED TO MAKE YOU AWARE THAT MY DRAFTS ARE,, , BAD. 

Anyways. The circles are fucking CIRCLING. I love(d) injecting world moments like that that weren’t all that relevant in the moment but LATER you’re like OH YEAAHHH THAT THING FROM EARLIER!! Chekov’s table carving. 

100% I’m describing a set, I honestly did just assume every career is like working on a set— You all not in film also wanna die at your jobs but if you weren’t you’d explode, right? Right? I made the right career choice? Right? 

Also NEW NICKNAMES— I don’t love Onion but it seems it has been chosen. And I must live with my fate. Could do Caramel? No one’s gonna do caramel. On my main I am salt, so you could do Salt but I do not imagine this will catch on. 

She’s a fucking LIAR!!! This I think was the one full lie I ever let Tony tell. Everything else is pretty much true or of omission but this one yes, she just stopped fuckin’ payin it. Dad’s a business man!! Of course he wouldn’t just cut the cord— You liar pants Tony!!!

100% canon every time the camera cuts on squidink you can assume they kissed in between scenes. Canon i said it!!

This chapter is so telling to re-read, because you can really tell how disjointed Chip feels, without Mikey here— To me, at least. Like, the friendship she has/had with Richie is so barely present with him in this chapter— And she THINKS they’re not close!!! Bitch!!! It’s been you two the whole time!!! I love seeing how much this changed, by Ad Interim. Our baby got her groove back. And you can see it w/ Tina too! I love my mother…. Boots the house…. She’s so very good at seeing people now, I love HER!!!

BABYBOY TIME!!! Cutest interaction in the whole series you say?? Yeah that’s probably true. I was gonna say I gotta try to one up myself but to be fair there’s something about introductions that can’t be matched. Alas. Perchance (you can’t just say—).

100% this was Tony being the guy per usual but I also think like, she’s real special cause she knows Carmen pretty well through word of mouth— To her they are kinda like old friends. And I think that’s also what contributes so well to her COMPLETELY DISARMING HIS ASS as he gets to know her back lmao.

That plate was so fucking close to being frisbee’d— It was gonna be this whole tragic mirroring scene to a scene I had considered with Mikey but pivoted because it just ,,,, did not hit. That plate sure would’ve hit the fuckin wall though yesssiirrrr— (I have much to say about the You’re Nothing, but I will get into that in a later ask down the line I SWEAR THERE’S A WHOLE THING!!)

Anyways, favourite barista !!! I love that Chip has essentially learned every trade by wanting to impress someone. Her dad, Syd, Mikey. She’s so people pleaser. Number 1 people pleaser, my beloved. And then she makes Carmen arguably one of the best coffees!!  Immediately trying to impress him after 2 fucking seconds. She’s so fucking dumb. I love her. She is me and I am her. 

I would actually love to hear ad nauseam why The Berf shirt is so unforgettable. Actually no I get it. It’s them. This whole moment is just very them. You can see their friendship start to finally peek out and it’s a real joy. 

“Fuckin’ terrible, Carm.” - the way mikey would say this oh OH

AND THE CROWD HISSES IN PAIN!!!! Yessir, yessirrrrrrrr— She is SO THE GUY SHE IS SO MIKEY!!! THE FRUITS OF MY LABOUR!!

We’ll come back to this sweetness and comedy eventually. Maybeee. We got some in Something to Do— they’ll be FINE!!

Now Chip’s coffee order— This honestly went unwritten for so long for a couple reasons. 1 - I rarely drink coffee so I suck at having opinions. 2 - Tony is really just an OC at this point but it is still technically insert, so like, whatever YOUR coffee is, is her’s.

But like… now? Between u and me? And the 3 other people that will actually bother to read this ask? I think she’d do a cortado. Half steamed milk, Half espresso. It’s simple so it’s very switchable but I think still very her, yknow?

100% She is just a blend of Mikey and Carmen. HEY HALF MILK HALF ESPRESSO!!!! LETS GO!!! IT’S A METAPHOR NOW FUCK YEAH!!! Now is she a blend of them because I deeply relate to both brothers and really just fuckin stuck my whole self into Tony? …. .i decline to speak at this time

THE BERF!! SHALL!! PREVAIL!!! I need to buy a Berf shirt. Maybe I will use my ko-fi money (i love u) to buy a Berf shirt. Collector’s item. 

The whole Nat scene is SUCH A TOUGH READ AFTER TWO STEPS BACK HONESTLY,,, THEY BOTH HANDLE GRIEF IN SUCH DIFFERENT WAYS AND IT’S SUHKFJSFKH FUCK!!! And Natalie just seeing Mikey in her, like fucking everyone does— It’s just so— I’m fuckin DYING!!

Also. I’m so glad tumblr blurs ask photos because I remembered looking at these and then I forgot what they were and then i got to look with fresh eyes again and have a giggle all over again. THE MIRRORJEG— (processing an emotion)I’ll include these in a comp eventually, but here are some from my collection. Meme exchange, only fair.

I LOVE YOU AS ALWAYS KISS KISS I AM NOT GONNA GET TO SHOWER TONIGHT I’M GONNA HAVE TO GO TO WORK WITH AN OILY SCALP AND IT’S YOUR (my) FAULT!!

[sylvies-chen]

after seeing a tweet about season 2 coming out I thought now would be a good time start The Bear to fulfill my need to have seen every single show in existence! I’ve only seen the first 5 episodes so far but here are my thoughts:

it seems everyone in this show except marcus (he’s just in the corner perfecting his lil donuts!! leave him in peace!!) teeters so beautifully on being absolutely detestable. some *cough cough richie cough cough* do venture into unlikeable territory but then when they do, the writers bring in a scene that instantly gives them an extra layer and shifts you towards empathy. it’s a really delicate balance but so far it’s working for me!

this is, at its core, a show about how to go about taking pieces of something broken and turning them into something better and beautiful, revamping it without discarding its true nature— and this is true in both the inwards sense, relating to carmy’s (and sugar’s and richie’s) grief and mental health in learning how to move on from a tragic loss but not forget your past pain, and then in the outwards sense as well regarding to the restaurant and the Chicago community, how to make a successful restaurant without forgetting the people they serve, how to not be a gunslingin’ dive but also not a gentrifying posh joint.

speaking of that internal turmoil though, I’m absolutely lovinggggg the bear motif and it fits perfectly with this idea! it’s like carmy has so much bottled up inside him, both good and bad, like his passion to change the restaurant mikey left him but also his pain and grief and sorrow, and him trying to let the bear out of the cage and slowly tame it or control it in his dreams is very reminiscent of someone trying to get a hold on their own psyche. but it’s like. no dude. you gotta let it all out, let it go wild! both the pain and the ambition! it will let you be more loving, be healed, and be a better leader! gosh, it’s so so good.

JON BERNTHAL IS IN THIS?? Oh wait I think I vaguely remember @levijeanqueen watching this show just to see Jon Bernthal on her screen. sky babe this is me formally saying that I should have followed in your footsteps sooner omg I love this

richie gives me whiplash because he starts crying about his kid and I wanna give him a hug and tell him he’s a good dad but then he yells at syd and I get filled with rage and then he calls the cops on the mobsters when someone else solves the problem he couldn’t because he can’t stand not being needed and then anti-hero by taylor swift starts playing in my head because it’s him hi he’s the problem and what do you mean he accidentally drugged children with xanex i-

sydney is my GIRL y’all!! she has such a passionate, eager spirit about her that she can’t hold in and yet she also lacks confidence in a lot of ways and like. she is me!! I am her!! I kin this woman so hard. (that’s actually my first time using that word I hope I did it right lol). I’m so obsessed with everything she does, I can’t wait to see her grow and evolve as a chef, and to gain more confidence! also I need to learn more about her backstory right tf now like what was that catering business?? what’s her family like??

I don’t know where people are shipwise with this show?? it’s not a show that offers a lot of substantial material on that front but shipping is so much more fun when you have zero expectations and can kind of just go with the flow and take your own creative liberties so I like having fun with it. anyways I definitely feel a certain vibe with carmy and sydney but also marcus is so outwardly sweet to her when no one else is so I’m not mad about that either.

I think carmy and syd are like… two side of the same coin? they’re not the most alike but they’re not polar opposites either, they’re very much foils of each other and they each are the parts of the other that the other wishes they were. like sydney very openly wants to be skilled like carmy (she’s skilled on her own ways though might I add) and be a fearless chef and innovator, and carmy I think less-openly wishes he was like sydney: new, fresh, eager, not beaten down by the verbal degradation of high-end culinary culture, hopeful about the world and creative. I really like that sort of connection between two characters, it kind of alludes to a deeper idea that this bond was meant to be in a way? their chemistry is fucking fire too like wow

but then there’s marcus and sydney, which I think is cute because marcus has that sort of fun experimental eager green energy that sydney has and that many others (like tina and richie) have discarded or snuffed out, so I think he could be like a nice bright spot for sydney. idk. I need to know like a million more things about her character as well, she deserves all the screentime in the world. but in the meantime I’m just chilling, enjoying the little itty bitty crumbs that let me have my fun lol

anyways I’m sorry if that was too long for you lovely folks but I hope it was a worthy interruption to your regularly scheduled tumblr scrolling because I really love this show and I can’t wait to finish these last two episodes before moving on to this new season!!

[gingerylangylang1979]

Carmy x Sydney are not Don and Peggy. They are coded so differently.

I know it’s easy to try to make the relationships parallel, but beyond the professional relationship there just isn’t a lot to make them the same. Yes, Carmy and Don are professional heroes that mentor Sydney and Peggy but that’s where it ends. 

Peggy tries to flirt with Don early on. I think she feels it’s what’s expected given Don being Don and her wanting to move ahead. That interaction sets the tone for him not going to go there with her. Don’s moral code is murky so I don’t totally understand his logic but he places Peggy in the same protected professional space he places Joan in. He never tries anything with either of them, defends them, advises them, and respects what they bring to the firm. 

Don and Peggy never had a meet cute. They do share some intense looks but it’s never even hinting at either crushing. It goes back and forth between father/daughter and colleagues. 

When Carmy and Syd meet he is surprised and taken aback by her. it looks like he was in shock that this pretty girl was the one coming to stage. He stares, he can’t speak, he seems shy, he asks dumb questions, his voice is soft, he does a really weird double take to look at her again. Syd is super eager and bubbly. This is a star to her. In this moment I think Syd is having more professional thoughts while Carmy is trying to but seems attracted to her. It’s a quirky meet cute. 

And since then, if you look attentively you will see that Camry is so often drawn to looking at her. It is noticeable in season one but in season two it’s like blaringly obvious. He can’t talk to her without being as close in her face as possible. It doesn’t matter if they are fighting, bonding, or a weird mix of both, he is going to be focused on her face from whatever angle. 

Over the season we see Don and Peggy interact, they only get personal when they need to. Don is like a father to Peggy. They both had a tragic event impact their lives, so there is a parallel of erasing the past. So unlike the typical father of that era who would possibly shame Peggy, he shows her an alternate path, he lifts her up, he gives her a new beginning, and let’s her know she’s not alone in such a dark place. He’s been there too, he’s there now. 

Carmy and Syd had an awkward start talking about personal things in season one but in season two they talk about fears and family. Carmy grows ever more curious about Syd’ background. She’s a bit guarded with everyone about her personal life but she does open up to Carmy. She opens up to Marcus a little in season one but their scenes didn’t have the same weight and intimacy (well, I guess Marcus thought so) like the table scene. Carmy wants to know more and more about her. 

People around the office may have gossiped thinking Don and Peggy were having an affair but there was no behavior between them that warranted it. It was simply due to the gender roles of the time and Don’s reputation. Meanwhile, Carmy and Sydney are drawing curious eyes from those around them in season 2. Notice how a few of the crew members watch their interactions when they get intense. I think Richie and Marcus are catching on to the vibes. 

Peggy was never jealous of Don’s partners other than Megan and that was only because she viewed Megan as professional competition, not because she became Don’s wife. Meanwhile, Syd is obviously jealous of Claire not only because she is distracting Carmy from business but it definitely seems personal. 

Peggy was never so clearly contrasted with any of Don’s partners, Meanwhile, Syd and Claire are contrasted all of season two even in Carmy’s subconscious. 

I could go on, but the constant stretching to make these relationships the same to discredit any romantic possibilities is a bit lazy. 

They are not the same. 

[blackjack-15]

"what's going on?" oh we're not gonna hear that almost gentle tone again for the rest of the episode are we. maybe the rest of the season

"i quit. is what's going on." y'all can't see me, by the grace of God, but i am throwing things

there were so many ways to handle this, i want to congratulate syd and marcus for choosing the worst ones!! that takes real vision!!

i get it. i do. but there are things you just don't do, and running away after causing problems (marcus seriously???? the doughnuts right now???) is something you don't do

"right now?? you quit right now??" yeah the anxiety and anger there...yeah that's gonna be the top of the iceberg huh

"what are you doing. what are you doing." he really can't quite parse it and the fear in his voice is really exquisitely well-played. syd's the person he hired, the person he did the background check on, the person he had confidence to put in a position of leadership, and -- 'outside' of regular work, the person he's talked to, confided in, and worked on a relationship with. this is probably going to Not Be Great. my anxiety pillow might not be enough

"you are an excellent chef. you are also a piece of shit." yeah i mean girl that was obvious when you were hired. like he's being a bit shitty right now, but like....this is not even mostly on him

and she knows it, it's why she's running. she's seeing visions of sheridan road in her head, and she's running. it's fine, it's good character work, i'm happy about it in a larger plot sense, but the dumb monkey part of my brain wants to shake her by her shoulders and prolly slap marcus upside the head

"this isn't on me. good luck." well. oof.

is carmy gonna have a heart attack?? is his actor gonna have a heart attack?? those veins are worrying me

what did syd grab on her way out? why'd she go over to the other part of the kitchen before leaving?

carmy throwing the sharpie where syd had been a moment ago is really well done, because it makes him walking to the door seem like he might actually go after her and call her back

but he doesn't

oh off the floor carmy really?? i mean it's no worse than anything else he does to his body i guess

that smile at how good the doughnut is, then the slapping of the preorder receipts, and his marching out to the front -- that's the repression in full force babe!

okay onto the last episode. can i breathe, please? i think some apologies are needed all the way around -- excepting Tina, Fak, Manny, Angel, Ebra, Gary, and Louie, of course, who should go out for drinks and a long weekend after this. i am blowing kisses to chicago for louie

oh and before i forget, the episode asks at the start, when is it the Ship of Theseus? the answer it presents is that when all the pieces are there, working together -- and right now, all the pieces are gone, and the ship is sinking in the water

RIP richie's ass i hope he gets stitches

[simmingsorah]

Begin | <<Previous TW: Alcohol mention, Illness mention, Cursing

After the concert Syd, Ty, and Vera split off. Milla and I had been talking backstage when Jesse and Marcus found us.

They were the drummer and bassist of Dead Machines. Marcus was also Roman's little brother, though it's hard to call someone little who was at least 6'2".

Jesse spent the conversation hung on Milla's every word. I wasn't too worried about it. I knew the second he tried to flirt she'd let him know she was taken.

I was more interested in talking music with Marcus. The bass was one of those instruments I just could not seem to figure out and it was nice to talk to someone who knew what he was doing.

It was an unspoken thing that Ty was the worst musician in the band and Marcus seemed happy to deal with my incessant questions.

Marcus: If you wanted to try again, I'd be happy to teach you.

Sophie: Really? That'd be amazing! It's hard to write a song and explain to Ty exactly what I want. If I just knew the basics...

Marcus: I think we could handle that.

He stood and we all wandered outside.

Milla: Marcus, you said this was your last tour. Why's that?

Marcus: Well, the wife's three months pregnant and I'd like to be there for the little one. So I'll be taking a break for a couple years.

Sophie: D'aww!!

Milla: That's so sweet.

J: Going to be rough trying to replace him.

Marcus: If you guys know anyone, the tryouts should start up in January. But, uh, Ty's not allowed.

Milla: Oh come on! You sure you can't take him away from us?

J: I like you, but not that much Milla. *chuckles*

Milla: Worth a shot, I guess!

J: So we're all going out. Milla, Sophie, care to join?

Milla: I'm afraid not. I've got a phone date with the boyfriend.

S: And I have some writing to do.

I was lying but I felt like utter garbage and it was only going to get worse as the night progressed.

J: Oh...

Marcus: No worries ladies. Have a good night!

Marcus shrugged it off easily, clearly no fucks given, but Jesse was definitely disappointed.

Next>>

Sham Pain - Five Finger Death Punch

[if-the-crown-fits-translate-it]

Discord pt 78

[Date: 15/03, 6:11 AM GMT - 15/03, 7:13 AM GMT]

Marcus: “...

it's been an interesting few days, I suppose

i've been catching up and um

not entirely sure how I feel about all this

everyone's asleep

guess that makes sense”

dreaming: “im awake.. uh sorry if im interrupting or anything..”

Marcus: “not at all!”

dreaming: “okay!”

Marcus: “it's nice to have company late at night

at least..conscious company”

dreaming: “yeah...”

emuhlee: “are you doing alright, marcus? a lot went on, and i'm sure it's a lot to take in”

Marcus: “...

i don't like that she's taking notes on max

i don't like that she's been taken at all, really”

dreaming: “i agree..”

Marcus: “...the laurels

i...can't help but feel that it's my fault

if i'd never taken off my circlet... he wouldn't feel the need to make something more permanent”

dreaming: “it isn't your fault.. you weren't even at the trial...

and it was crown's decision. nobody elses”

emuhlee: “whatever he decides on his own is not your fault”

Marcus: “...”

dreaming: “look we can't change the past.. we got to focus on the future, like.. getting out those who still only have a circlet..”

Marcus: “....

i guess you're right

but

what about Syd?”

dreaming: “we’ll try our hardest

i hope there's a way..

there's got to be something that'll at least make it stop for a bit...

i just hope so..”

Marcus: “I'm worried for them... all of them”

dreaming: “me too..”

Marcus: “I... feel bad about what I did to him too

he didn't deserve to be pushed in the river”

dreaming: “he didn't but there wasn't really.. another option”

Marcus: “i could've just

ran away

...

right?”

dreaming: “we know he could've catched up”

emuhlee: “without that he probably wouldve caught up to you”

Marcus: “...he still didn't deserve it”

dreaming: “you did what you had to as much as crown mightve not deserved it”

emuhlee: “maybe not, but you did what you had to to be safe”

Marcus: “I don't know”

emuhlee: “I understand why you feel bad about it, but if you didn't he could've caught up to you and max.

it might suck to think about but you did what was best at the time given the circumstances.”

Marcus: “..Max was further ahead of me, he would have been fine”

dreaming: “you wouldn't have been.. and we all want you safe.

we all want you to be okay”

Marcus: “i don't... i don't know max

i don't know fetch

or mona

I knew Page and Knight

they’re

they're so different

...but i still care about them

why else would i be staying up all night?

i can't sleep when they sleep”

dreaming: “maybe you don't exactly know them but you're still allowed to care.. i don't really know anyone well here but i still care.

i hope that's.. understandable?”

Marcus: “it.. is

i just don't get why i'm so upset at the difference”

dreaming: “it's okay to be upset, it's okay to miss them.”

Marcus: “i look at them and I see page and knight

because that's how i knew them

but that's not who they are

they aren't happy that way”

dreaming: “i can understand that.. i saw page and knight as max and fetch.. as much as you're valid in your feelings they're still going to be well them. even if they're not the people you knew..”

Marcus: “it makes me wonder...

if he changes how we think so that we're happier

what do fetch and max dislike about themselves so much

that they act like children when they're knight and page”

dreaming: “i don't know..”

emuhlee: “that's... a good question.”

dreaming: “bad things happen.. they change our perceptions of ourselves and not always im a good way...”

Marcus: “....i know that i'm not happy now

not as happy as I was

maybe content is the better word

but

.....i don't like dealing with all of these negative emotions

it's been so long since i've had to”

dreaming: “i know it sucks to deal with that.. but we all go through hardships, feel negative emotions.. if we never felt negatively we'd just be stuck in one place...”

Marcus: “...

negativity is so draining”

dreaming: “it is..”

emuhlee: “yeah,, it is”

dreaming: “but if we were always happy, content with what we have would we ever have the drive to learn more? to see more? i don't even really understand what im saying.. heh”

Maxwell: “....no....syd.....leave her alone.....”

Marcus: “...

negativity” 

dreaming: “max..?”

Marcus: “is so draining”

dreaming: “I know”

Marcus: “...he's talking in his sleep again”

dreaming: “...

negativity is draining i know.. but it'll be alright someday. it will, at least i hope so.”

Marcus: “nightmares...

page never had nightmares 

but now

max has them almost every night”

dreaming: “max's been through a lot.. page got his memory wiped of anything that would cause them i would think..”

Marcus: “..that was kind of the point in the memory wiping”

dreaming: “yeah..

i wonder why.. page or knight couldn't remember anything but you could...”

Marcus: “.......don't tell them

I'm...

the longer i spend away from it all

the less I remember

i.. barely remember what my comfort room looked like”

dreaming: “..i won't tell anyone... honestly it makes sense you might start forgetting, it was you but it also.. wasn't? to an extent”

Marcus: “..i knew more than they did while we were there

i don't know why

i don't remember”

dreaming: “maybe it's because you had more good experiences before joining the court..”

Marcus: “......

...

..i wouldn't say that”

dreaming: “okay i won't again.”

Marcus: “no no

i wasn't.. telling you

I just”

dreaming: “okay.”

Marcus: “wouldn't describe my past as....pleasant”

dreaming: “okay.. maybe the reason why they didn't remember is because of how much they opposed the court?

y’know”

Marcus: “maybe

they weren't there for that long... were they?”

Marcus: “as far as i knew, max was only there for... a little over two weeks”

dreaming: “nope.. i remember both of them already disliked the court a lot though.. if that's what you meant..”

Marcus: “but

apparently max was gone for much longer than two weeks”

dreaming: “yep..

right when crown took chat he appeared for like.. two minutes?

I think”

Marcus: “...that was deliberate

i think”

dreaming: “probably..”

Marcus: “given the..deal Chat made

i can't”

dreaming: “yeah..”

Marcus: “i can't remember the details

i dont think max was back by accident though”

dreaming: “that's alright..

and yeah max probably wasn't looking back on it..”

Marcus: “...

it’s so

difficult

i didn't have problems sleeping before”

dreaming: “i would assume so..”

Marcus: “but i can't sleep at night

i worry about them too much”

dreaming: “it's okay to worry.. you should try to sleep though...”

Marcus: “i don't want to be..useless

if i”

dreaming: “you aren't useless for resting”

Marcus: “if i'm asleep, i can't help them”

dreaming: “you won't be able to help them if you're too exhausted from not resting to help.”

Marcus: “....

i can rest when someone else wakes up

that's”

dreaming: “okay.”

Marcus: “what i've been doing

although

i did burn my elbow earlier because of how little i've slept”

dreaming: “you should probably sleep more then, if you can't sleep when others are maybe talk to them about it and work out something so you can rest properly.”

Marcus: “i'd rather not inconvenience them...”

dreaming: “it isn't inconveniencing to ask for help”

Marcus: “.....”

dreaming: “look, if i was theoretically there i'd help.

but y'know. im not”

Marcus: “..I know

i just..don't want to worry anymore”

dreaming: “it's probably going to end up worrying them anyways if you keep doing this.”

Marcus: “...they seem fine with my day time naps

even if they only last an hour”

dreaming: “that's good.. im glad you're sleeping even if it's not as much as you should”

Marcus: “...waking up again is the hard part.

i'm either suddenly awake due to a nightmare

or i'm suddenly awake due to anxiety”

dreaming: “..i'm sorry”

Marcus: “.....”

dreaming: “that that's happening..”

Marcus: “you don't

you dont have anything to be sorry for?

i dont understand”

dreaming: “yeah i know.. i just have a habit...”

i'll try not to do it as much..”

Marcus: “...many of you have a habit of apologizing for things you didn't do

you don't have to change how you act

i guess i'm a bit of a hypocrite” 

dreaming: “yeah.. im kind of one too. im telling you to sleep while i'm definitely staying up to late just to get some time to myself i guess..”

Marcus: “the quiet is nice”

dreaming: “it is”

Marcus: “...max is having another nightmare, i'm going to go try and calm him down

i hope you have a good rest of your night

maybe..try to sleep if you can”

dreaming: “okay.. you too marcus.. and ill try...”

Marcus: “hmm i'd like to send a smile but i'd rather not concern anyone with the connotations....

oh, i'll do what fetch does

:]”

dreaming: “:]”

[footyplusau]

Dogs honour flag unfurling with thrilling win

THE WESTERN Bulldogs have won a wildly fluctuating Grand Final rematch with Sydney, overcoming a slow start and a late Lance Franklin-inspired Swans comeback to prevail by 23 points at Etihad Stadium on Friday night.

The Swans looked as if they were still smarting from their shock round one loss to Port Adelaide when they burst from the blocks to kick the opening four goals, jumping to a 23-point lead midway through the first quarter.

But the Dogs soon settled and looked to have control of the match when they led by 28 points late in the third term.

The Dogs would eventually record a 16.14 (110) to 13.9 (87) victory, but Franklin and the Swans gave them an almighty scare in the meantime.

Five talking points: Western Bulldogs v Sydney

Franklin kicked a goal in the shadows of three-quarter time that brought the Swans within 22 points, and then rammed on the first three majors of the final term, the last two majestic curling shots from outside 50m.

The last of those goals dragged the Swans within two points, and they hit the lead a minute later when Sam Reid marked and kicked his sixth goal.

But just when the Dogs were on the ropes they rediscovered their verve.

First, Marcus Bontempelli picked Harry Cunningham’s pocket to mark in the goalsquare and goaled without breaking stride to put the Bulldogs four points up at the 17-minute mark.

WATCH: Plucky Picken haunts the Swans again

Shortly after, Callum Mills seemed unlucky to be pinged for a deliberate rushed behind – he had Liam Picken bearing down on him – but Picken showed him no sympathy, running around from a tight angle to convert the resultant free kick.

Jake Stringer streamed through the centre to goal just over a minute later, and when Picken added the Dogs’ fourth unanswered major eight minutes later the Dogs were 23 points up and home.

It was the perfect end to a joyous night for Bulldogs fans, who had earlier watched 1954 premiership player Angus Abbey and 1970-80s legend Doug Hawkins raise the club’s second premiership flag.

WB v Syd: Full match coverage and stats

The Swans’ disappointing night was further soured by a left ankle injury to Kurt Tippett and Zak Jones being reported for rough conduct on Travis Cloke just minutes later.

Tippett landed awkwardly after taking a strong mark midway through the first quarter, his ankle rolling underneath him. He was unable to take his kick and came straight from the ground, playing no further part in the game.

Jones cannoned into Cloke moments after the Bulldogs spearhead had marked, but did not appear to make head-high contact. Cloke was also able to get to his feet relatively quickly and goaled after receiving a free kick and 50m penalty.

Bontempelli (29 possessions, five clearances and two goals) was the star for the Dogs, while Ling Jong (23 possessions and eight marks) was outstanding in attack.

Jake Stringer (three goals) was also back to his barnstorming best, Liam Picken (21 possessions and two goals) worked his tail off in attack, Travis Cloke kicked three first-half goals and key defender Marcus Adams did well in his first game of the year.

Bulldogs coach Luke Beveridge conceded after the match he had been worried when Franklin went on his last-quarter goalkicking spree.

“We were in a bit of trouble. It was a great effort to arrest that momentum because the Swans were flying at that point in time,” Beveridge said.

“It was a strange one because we don’t often sit on our hands, but there was a fair bit of trust in the boys and what they’re capable of doing.

“There was a slight shift in roles but it was a tremendous effort to get that back on our terms.”

Franklin (22 possessions, 11 marks and four goals) was brilliant for the Swans, and was ably supported by Reid, whose game-high six goals included three of the game’s first four in a remarkable 15-minute burst.

Jake Lloyd had 34 touches through the midfield, while Josh Kennedy (23 possessions and five clearances) and Luke Parker (21 and five) did a power of work at the stoppages.

Swans coach John Longmire was pleased with his team’s response to its poor loss to Port Adelaide. 

“Coming off last week we were really keen for our blokes to make an impact around the contest and strike at the ball and get their hands on the ball first,” Longmire said.

“We had a really young team in tonight, so the way they went about it for the majority of the game I was really happy with.

“And to fight back, and obviously to lose Kurt in the first quarter, but then to keep going as long and as hard as what we did in that last term, and having young kids in their first games play 105-110 minutes, I thought the intensity and effort was pretty good.”

The Swans’ loss marked just the second time since 2006 that they have opened a season 0-2. But when they last did that in 2014, they recovered to make the Grand Final.

Sydney was missing eight players from last year’s Grand Final team (Isaac Heeney, Ben McGlynn, Jarrad McVeigh, Tom Mitchell, Tom Papley, Dane Rampe, Xavier Richards and Gary Rohan) and unveiled three debutants: Robbie Fox, Nic Newman and Will Hayward.

But the Bulldogs were also missing seven of their Grand Final 22 (Dale Morris, Jordan Roughead, Tory Dickson, Toby McLean, Joel Hamling, Josh Dunkley and Clay Smith).

MEDICAL ROOM Western Bulldogs: The Dogs emerged from the contest with a clean bill of health. Sydney: Tippett’s injury looked a nasty one. Coach John Longmire said after the match the key forward had escaped any bone damage, but had damaged the ligaments around his ankle.

NEXT UP The Bulldogs play Fremantle next Saturday at Domain Stadium, a venue where they had lost seven games in a row before their dominant 2016 elimination final win over West Coast. The Swans return to the SCG to host Collingwood next Friday night.

WESTERN BULLDOGS   4.6   7.7  12.11  16.14 (110) SYDNEY                         5.2   6.5    9.7   13.9 (87)

GOALS Western Bulldogs: Cloke 3, Stringer 3, Bontempelli 2, T.Boyd 2, Picken 2, Jong, Murphy, Hunter, Suckling Sydney: Reid 6, Franklin 4, Newman, Florent, Laidler 

BEST  Western Bulldogs: Dahlhaus, Jong, Bontempelli, Stringer, Picken, Hunter, Cloke Sydney: Reid, Franklin, Lloyd, Kennedy, Jones, Parker 

INJURIES  Western Bulldogs: Nil Sydney: Tippett (ankle) 

Reports: Zak Jones (Sydney) for rough conduct on Travis Cloke (Western Bulldogs) in the first quarter

Umpires: Hosking, Ryan, Mollison

Official crowd: 42,834

The post Dogs honour flag unfurling with thrilling win appeared first on Footy Plus.

from Footy Plus http://ift.tt/2nJdROj via http://footyplus.net

[if-the-crown-fits-translate-it]

Discord pt 91

[Date: 17/03, 07:20 PM GMT - 17/03, 07:41 PM GMT]

[CW for self-harm, gore]

Little-K1ng: “hello everyone i just woke up”

Maxwell: “eyyyyyyy

so....

things have gotten worse”

Little-K1ng: “oh?

at least my migraine subsided a little (for now)”

fetch: “...hey.”

Little-K1ng: “so i can handle Problems and possible Consider Solutions

...hey”

Maxwell: “we had about uh two arguments”

Little-K1ng: “oh ffs

between who”

Maxwell: “uh fetch and jack then a small problem with prince”

fetch: “and since everyone's yanking my collar here i figure I should tell you.”

Jack the Observer: “Fetch and I”

Maxwell: “or rather asher”

fetch: “i... have a circlet growing too.”

Little-K1ng: “ah..... of course you do

somehow that doesnt upset me as much as knowing you felt the need to lie to me about it”

Jack the Observer: “...”

Maxwell: “and then uh prince saw fetch and jack were arguing over whether or not to tell us when prince appeared....”

jayyyyyyyy: “hey mona, check behind your ears? considering youre the fourth”

Little-K1ng: “am i?

did one of them say that?”

jayyyyyyyy: “well, crown did say all the four were together when you were with fetch, marcus and max

it was heavily implied..?”

Maxwell: “we tried to tell faem not to look in here but fae did and prince read back a lot of stuff”

fetch: “there's nothing official. if you aren't growing one then we don't have to worry.”

Maxwell: “and found out me and fetch were knight and page—”

Little-K1ng: “i cant feel anything, but as long as fetch has figured out the difference between knotting hair and gold, i will take a second opinion”

Maxwell: “i then told prince faer name before fae became prince and uh didnt go well

fae panicked and were confused and then more arguing started”

Little-K1ng: “what did you think was going to happen when you did that?

i mean that in a very kind way, of course.”

Maxwell: “i dont kow the others brought it up but i didnt think it would cause such a bad reaction to faem”

Jack the Observer: “And you’ve been getting migraines, Mona.

Better be safe than sorry.”

Maxwell: “fae....fae ended up scartching their arms really bad”

[Jack the Observer: “And you’ve been getting migraines, Mona.]

Little-K1ng: “thats my secret, jack. i always get migraines”

Jack the Observer: “But.

Little-K1ng: “its alright, max. you didnt know”

Jack the Observer: “Make sure.”

Maxwell: “oh and uh...theres more buds

and theyve started blooming....”

Little-K1ng: “oh? let me see

hm, yeah... thats some buds, bud”

Jack the Observer: “Remember someone to check Marcus as well.”

Maxwell: “heh

he feel asleep earlier but said we could check

hes got nothing as far as we saw”

Little-K1ng: “ill check him later”

jayyyyyyyy: “thats kinda making me wonder. why are flowers only blooming on max and fetch, but not marcus?

marcus is arguably a more important asset to crown. hes been there since the beginning”

fetch: “they aren't flowers on mine. they're just seeds.”

jayyyyyyyy: “you know what i mean”

Maxwell: “honeslty im fine with them not appearing on marcus it hurt so fucking much man”

Jack the Observer: “Marcus seems... historically immune to Crown’s abilities though.”

Maxwell: “my head felt horrid this morning”

Little-K1ng: “here, i have some ointment stuff thats like a local anesthetic, itll dull the pain”

Maxwell: “thank you”

Little-K1ng: “then we can see about the headache”

jayyyyyyyy: “yeah i was just about to say

painkillers are a good idea too

this may seem kinda gorey, but, uh..

(tw)

you think maybe the circlets you had on, uh.. planted something? in your heads?”

Marcus: “...”

Little-K1ng: “oh hi marcus”

Marcus: “Good...morning?

What time is it?”

Little-K1ng: “i havent even looked, im just up as well”

Marcus: “Oh”

Little-K1ng: “mid afternoon, almost definitely”

Marcus: “oh”

jayyyyyyyy: “hi marcus”

Marcus: “Wait when did I.. how long was I asleep?”

Maxwell: “yeah im surprised you didnt wake up from our arguing”

Marcus: “Hi jeight”

fetch: “you've been out for a while. was starting to get worried.”

jayyyyyyyy: “really pulling a gnf huh”

Little-K1ng: “marcus and fetch, you both have been sleeping almost more than i do”

Marcus: “I would back read but....judging from the recent stuff I see, I’d rather not”

Little-K1ng: “yeah...

would you two like to update him a little?”

Marcus: “We’re checking laurels?”

jayyyyyyyy: “want a summary?”

Maxwell: “ive been tired but trying to keep from sleeping, ive been falling asleep at school though...”

Little-K1ng: “im just putting some stuff behind max's ears to help the pain

if you start getting pain there too, let me know and ill do the same”

fetch: “max's laurel is growing, prince remembered faer real name and disappeared.”

jayyyyyyyy: “falling asleep at home is better than during class, max :(”

[fetch: “max's laurel is growing, prince remembered faer real name and disappeared.”]

Marcus: “fuck”

Maxwell: “fetch has seeds on his head now too”

fetch: “...yeah. that too.”

Marcus: “Guys...come on

There’s a reason..

guys”

jayyyyyyyy: “you good?”

fetch: “its whatever. max is the one who's hurting, we should help him first.”

Marcus: “Before you two, people went to crown willingly”

[fetch: “its whatever. max is the one who's hurting, we should help him first.”]

Little-K1ng: “dont lie to me. if you're in pain, you had better tell me. we talked about this...”

Maxwell: “yeah prince found out me and fetch were page and knight and it did not end well

fae thought we left because of faem”

[Little-K1ng: “dont lie to me. if you're in pain, you had better tell me. we talked about this...”]

fetch: “I'm fine.”

Marcus: “Fetch.

Come on”

fetch: “im telling you guys im fine I promise.”

jayyyyyyyy: “being all humble n shit isnt gonna help anyone, fetch”

Marcus: “Don’t start arguing Fetch

seriously

Who does that help in the end

Who”

fetch: “for fucks sake why does nobody ever let me do things myself. everyone always has to get involved in my own problems.”

jayyyyyyyy: “this isnt just your problem”

Marcus: “Fetch, your problems are very quickly becoming everyones problems”

[fetch: “for fucks sake why does nobody ever let me do things myself. everyone always has to get involved in my own problems.”]

Little-K1ng: “because i care, fetch. ive had to go through the grief of losing you too many times. the least i could do is dull some of the pain”

Marcus

We’re not trying to get everyone involved

We’re telling you that if you’re in pain, we can help

fetch: “im not in pain jesus fucking christ.”

Maxwell: “....”

fetch: “it doesn't hurt.”

Marcus: “Fetch.”

fetch: “max's does.”

Little-K1ng: “it wont in a while, ive done what i can to treat it”

Marcus: “it doesn’t matter if Max’s hurts, you can both be hurting at the same time”

Little-K1ng: “its your turn. sit down and let me help”

jayyyyyyyy: “fetch, tell the truth. does it hurt?”

Marcus: “Tell the fucking truth”

fetch: “no it doesn't hurt how many times do i have to tell you.”

Marcus: “Don’t hide shit away in a document and then delete it when you get called out”

Maxwell: “IT DOES”

fetch: “i can barely fucking feel it.”

Maxwell: “I KNOW IT DOES

SYD SCREAMED IN PAIN WHEN IT HAPPENED AND IM IN PAIN

It hurts and you know it”