#but also SO SAD BC I HAVE TO SAY GOODBYE TO THEM AGAIN :((((

[expelliarmus]

[yohankang]

it's my last day of work tomorrow... i'm happy and relieved but also sad and terrified

[petalsandpurity]

school's out !!:D

[verstappen-cult]

I would LOVE a part two of the birthday drabble if ur open to that? maybe how max tries to ask for reader’s forgiveness? maybe asking Charles for help but he’s just like “no u gotta figure it out on ur own this time buddy” bc he’s mad at him too?

PART ONE. Max totally blanks on your birthday plans and it’s not pretty.

Max is pacing around the kitchen when you wake up the next morning. When his gaze snaps up to meet yours, you can see the bags under his eyes. You think about reaching for him when you remember what happened, so, you simply walk past him to make some coffee.

“Good morning, schat.” He whispers, looking down. You’re still very much hurt but seeing him like this breaks your heart. 

Maybe you’re being too mean, giving him the cold shoulder and not even meeting his eyes, but you also think about what your best friend said last night when you called her crying. He needs to sort out his priorities and give you what you deserve. And you also need to stand up for yourself, you’ve let Max get away with similar things in the past and it’s time for that to stop. 

“Good morning,” Charles says as he enters the kitchen. He looks at Max but doesn’t say anything when he sees his eyes filled with tears. You’re hurt but he’s angry. “Want me to drive to your appointment?” 

“Mmh.” You nod, taking your cup of coffee and going back to your room. 

Charles opens the fridge and tries to look busy waiting for Max to get the fuck out of the kitchen. But that doesn’t happen and he is forced to close the door and face his boyfriend. 

“Have you talked to her?” Max asks him, rubbing his hand over his face. 

“Yea’,” Charles simply answers, trying to choose between an apple or banana for breakfast. You or Max are the ones always cooking because Charles just can’t do it, but you’re not in the mood to make breakfast and he’s definitely not gonna ask Max. “I’m not the one who fucked everything up.” 

“I’m sorry, okay? I just—I didn’t forget, but there were—”

“I don’t fucking care, Max. It was her birthday! It was supposed to be special but instead of enjoying the one day—the only day she really asks for our attention, she cried all the way home.”  

Max feels like crying again. He feels awful but doesn’t know what to do to make things better. 

The Dutchman opens his mouth but before he can say anything, Charles holds his palm up, shutting him up. 

“I won’t tell you what to do, you need to figure that out by yourself.” 

Charles storms out of the kitchen, leaving a sad Max behind. 

You don’t say goodbye when you leave but Charles, at least, tells him that they should be home by eight, to not wait for them because they will be having lunch together. He doesn’t ask Max if he wants to join. 

Max doesn’t know what to do. 

You’ve never been this angry before. Charles is a different story, they’ve been racing their whole lives together, so, he has seen parts of Charles you don’t even know. 

Max thinks about calling his mom to ask her for advice, God, even calling his sister, but rejects the idea because he knows what they will say. 

It’s all his fault. Stupid Max, stupid SimRacing—

Max gets up from the couch, he doesn’t know how much has passed since you left, but the sun is already sitting down. 

When Max enters his streaming room he wants to cry again. And he does. 

He cries as he disconnects everything. He cries when he smashes the camera onto the floor. He cries while throwing a chair across the room, crashing against the wall. He cries looking at the mess he made, the mess he is.

Max falls to the floor and cries, and cries, and cries, until he feels two strong arms around him and soft words spoken into his ear. 

“Max, breathe with me, please,” Charles begs, caressing his back and lifting his chin up with his free hand. Max’s gaze focuses on his face as he imitates his boyfriend, inhaling and exhaling slowly. It takes some time, but Max eventually stops shaking. “Oh, Max. What did you do?” Charles sounds so broken and disappointed, Max doesn’t want him to feel like that. He’s done so much already. 

Max starts crying again. 

“Shh, it’s okay,” Charles wipes his tears and kisses his eyelids. 

Max doesn’t deserve this. 

“Hey, love.” Max turns his head around at the sound of your voice. You crouch down next to him, a soft smile dancing on your lips. “Would you drink this, please? For me?” He doesn’t need to be asked twice. You guide the glass to his lips and he drinks the water — with a little bit of sugar you always add when you’re not feeling okay. 

Max wants to talk, he wants to apologize again, he wants to scream at you and Charles for being so attentive with him when he doesn’t deserve it. But he feels so tired, all he can do is lean into your touch when you cradle his face with both your hands, palms comfortable against the stubble on his cheeks. 

“We’re gonna buy new things and me and Charles will help you set everything up, okay?”

Max wants to scream. Instead, he barely has the voice to say, “I don’t want any of this. I fucked up because of this stupid shit.”

“Max,” Charles calls his name, moving around so he’s sitting next to you. “You love it.”

“I love you more.” He simply says, looking between you and Charles. “I’m so sorry, I’m sorry…” He lets silent tears fall down his cheeks. 

“I know you’re sorry.” You lean to leave a kiss on his forehead, then, you look directly into his eyes. “I’m still hurt, Max. I won’t lie. We need to have a long conversation, the three of us, but I don’t want you to quit something that you love and enjoy so much. I just,” You notice you’re crying when Max wipes the tears with his thumb. “I want to be a priority in your life.”

“And you are!” He wants to smash his head onto the floor. “God you,” He takes your hand, lips quivering. “and you,” He takes Charles’s hand then. He guides them to his chest, just where his heart is. “are the most important people in my life. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

There’s still so much to say but, for right now, you just want to be as close as possible. You’ll have plenty of time to figure out how to go from here.

[tojisun]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C129xgdPN0D/?igsh=eWptZ2tnMHI0ODJ1

price and soap price and soap price and soap. i’m literally foaming at the mouth. i can’t take it

IM A PUDDLE IM A MESS OH MY GOD!!! THATS SO PRICE AND SOAP YEA IM LIKE SCALING THE WALLS

જ thinking about seeing price’s tummy first before his gains. thinking about price lifting his shirt up to wipe at his face, giving you a view of his belly and you freeze, going breathless because what the fuck that’s so hot.

john sees you gaping at him and he coughs awkwardly, apologizing about the indecency, and you’re quick to reassure him that “no, no oh my god you look good! sorry i just- i just didn’t expect that!”

clearly that doesn’t save you from further mortification so you stutter out a goodbye and hightail out of there. it’d be weeks later (the gap days full of you remembering john’s body… sometimes even dreaming about it. dreaming about being pressed against his softness and being cradled and being taken by him against the wall and-…!!) when john shows you his muscles—ripped in a way that you also didn’t expect from him but, you realize, of fucking course he’s ripped!

the daydreams just spiral even more after that :((

જ thinking about the opposite for soap—how you first saw his toned pecs before his tummy. thinking about seeing soap in that white cunty ripped-sleeves turtleneck as he fixes up something in his garage, sweat making his adonis-like muscles glisten and you honest to god whimper.

johnny looks up from where he’s got his head bowed to see something in his car and waves at you, shooting you that toothy smile that makes your breath hitch. the stretch of his arm makes his muscles flex and you could not stop the dreamy sigh that slithers out of your lips.

“hey neighbour!” johnny calls out, before his brows furrow in confusion as you, and you realize this in horror, proceed to just stare at him, all dopey and unblinkingly.

“oh!” you squeak. “bye!”

you’d try to ignore him as best as you could and you tell yourself that johnny’s sad puppy look isn’t getting to you but, well, you’re a liar and a weakling.

so, naturally, you see yourself knocking on his door a week later with a tupperware full of cookies. johnny swings the door open, wide smile only faltering a bit to make way for his confusion, but you bulldoze through whatever he must have wanted to say because you could honestly feel yourself getting faint—of course your handsome neighbour is even more handsome up close. of course.

“i, uh, got you cookies,” you say, cringing at the rasp of your voice. “well i say i ‘got’ you cookies but actually i baked them. for you. as apology. because i’m sorry.”

why, in god’s name, are you talking like that!?

“and you probably don’t wanna eat them because, duh, muscle man right here—” jesus christ, shut up! “so feel free to chuck ‘em out, i honestly wouldn’t feel offended and-”

johnny laughs, so bright and joyful that it makes him throw his head back. he even wipes his eyes because he’s laughing so hard, he teared up.

“easy there, chipmunk,” he says, mid-chuckles.

chipmunk?

“i’d love to eat these—” he takes the tupperware from you. “y’kiddin’?”

then he does the unthinkable—he lifts his shirt up to show you his, surprisingly, soft belly. you expected muscles and sculpted abs but this? god, this is better.

johnny pats his stomach. “this baby needs ‘em sweets.”

“uh huh,” you rasp out because what else can you say when adonis shows you his stomach?

“that’s great,” you add, your eyes still trained to his belly. “really, really great.”

“…you okay there?”

you fumble another ‘uh huh’ because, again, what else can you say?

yall need to stage a full intervention atp bc i cant stop rambling hhhshe!!! ne ways, this is me rn for realz 😭 and me! anotha me!! god i need emmmm

[lionheartedmusings]

bear with me bc this is gonna be a bit of a long one, but i've seen folks talking about how they're excited to get the horrors back on the qsmp and while i totally agree that i miss those blood-curdling, creepy, uncanny valley sort of scenes... i think the beauty of the overall storyline (as much as it's execution can be criticised ) is that we as the audience are seeing things in a vacuum.

the qsmp storyline is a living breathing player alongside our povs, and while we're aware of that, we're also not always engaging with it. we're getting swept up in the day-to-day of it all and getting lulled into a sense of security that ultimately makes us unable to truly comprehend the horror of the last few months until we take a step back and analyze it bit by bit.

children went missing in the night, leaving only their identifiers behind on empty beds. there were no leads. people looked and looked, and found nothing. parents were mad with concern and grief, and the all-seeing, all-powerful entity that rules their lives trapped in this hamster wheel of an island has no answers.

then, the items left behind on those beds vanish too.

then, there's mind-controlling, happiness inducing drugs being pumped into people against their will. still no news of the children. people are falling apart at the seams.

people are led to a maze where a wheel is spun and everything they have left of the children of this godforsaken island is gone. burned up. what does it mean? no one knows. they have to live on.

suddenly, a game is played. a clone of a dead child shows up, leading some of them into the same maze, forcing them to walk through a maze of doors and corridors, only to find a game of dice orchestrated by an unknown entity.

new people arrive, bearing witness to the hopeless, grim, sad reality of everyone who was already there. there's hope — there's always hope — but my god the pain is overwhelming.

there's clues, but there's not. the government keeping them trapped here against their will still has no answers, nothing to point them in the right direction.

faceless bears go missing.

faceless bodies show up on the streets. bloodied. dead. eaten.

suddenly, there's thunder and lightning and oh! oh, their children! of course they'll get on the train, that's where the children are!

but they're hijacked. stolen. once again, their autonomy is stripped entirely as another entity with power they cannot comprehend forces them to split into factions and compete for... something. their children's lives are on the line and they maim and kill those they call family because they fear they have no choice.

everyone went through hell — purgatory was a bad title for what they went through. it was hell, with no salvation in sight.

when all is said and done, when all the murder and backstabbing is over, they see their children through glass they cannot break. one escapes because chance said so, and the rest are left behind as the ceiling collapses on them.

the world is ending and their salvation is one singular boat a thousand blocks away. lovers can't say goodbye, friends run for their lives together, a father and a son dash desperately with no hope in sight. some stay behind, through choice or chance.

the government official that has made their life hell returns the children to them, and brings some new ones. those new children get carted off to new parents without option (again) and suddenly everything's supposed to be fine! nevermind your friends are gone! nothing to see here!

behind the scenes, the all-seeing all-knowing government is breaking apart, there's something far more horrifying and twisted at play in the background... but it's nothing the islanders can help with. nothing they can do. they have to live on and pretend their golden cage is fine and dandy bc at the end of the day, it's their only option.

one-eyed creatures show up demanding something "of theirs" back and bc humanity is strong, one islander refuses to hand someone kind and innocent off to them.

it dooms them, as their humanity has every single time.

now, they're under attack and they can barely defend themselves despite months of prep and having amazing gear — again, they try their hardest but everything is stacked against them. they fight, and fight, but their children are on the line and that's their main concern.

every fight? there's bodies littering the ground and panicked screams. explosions. chainsaws revving, and worry, and it's a war ten times a week.

a child loses a life, and now it's personal, but what can they do? no one listens to them, no one has ever listened to them.

and in the middle of all of this? their family is still gone, trapped in a wasteland, or missing, or... dead.

there was no funeral for q!maxo bc there's no stopping to smell the roses on quesadilla island, not really. where's slime? where's pol? where's the people who they haven't seen yet? gone, yes, but they don't have time to stop and worry about them. they don't have time to mourn losses and grieve their dead.

luffy, who came to try and help their friends, was stolen and hurt.

those eyeball workers? they were people once, maybe good people. maybe the best people we never got to meet, but they got shifted and changed into something monstrous and out of their control.

my point being: the story that the qsmp is telling is innately horrifying. it's not just creepy — it's twisted, and tragic, and absolutely terrifying. it's about loss of agency and running on an endless hamster wheel of someone else's making, and how you just sort of... live with it after a while.

and i think that's really fucking cool, because like these characters we too get used to the tragedy of life, little by little, and forget to see the whole thing from a bird's eye view (pun intended).

[milgram-tournament]

MILGRAM Best Song Tournament, Round 2, Match 5 I LOVE YOU vs. CAT

Propaganda for both options under the cut!

Propaganda for I LOVE YOU:

mappi’s spitting bars 🔥🔥🔥🗣️🗣️🗣️

ok but i, as the iloveyoucountdown person before it released, waited 89 days for ily and SHE DID NOT DISAPPOINT‼️‼️‼️🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥 go vote ily now bc its peak music

---

the acoustic section where it just feels so raw and emotional it's crazy also we love to see mappi/miho okasaki rapping again and good lord mahiru delivered hadauwd, like you think about it a lot? like "Ishokujuu plus ai Miss you Raishuu aemasuka no Cadence Yurusarenai ikigai mou iki mo dekinai" it's also so catchy just "Dai- dai- dai- datte suki suki! Dai- dai- dai- datte daisuki."

it's such a quick song but it delivers and it DELIVERS WELL there's so much in the instrumental you can also miss, like sirens and such! again guitar section it's crazy!! i didn't even touch on the visuals, like the visuals are absolutely amazing and really touch on the toxic cycle of mahiru's relationship for example, the carousel turning into a forest! and also they were still able to implement some of tihtbilwy in the beginning of the song! we got to see mahiru's boyfriend as well!! additionally, RATS AND CAKE. HOLY SHIT we all know the absolute shock that appeared on everyone's faces the second that cake turned into a rat (to be honest, I was absolutely sick with shock for the rest of the day) It's really amazing as a song and MV, plus it did help give some more information on Mahiru!

---

miho okasaki's vocals are so powerful. it sounds like mahiru is screaming because of not being forgiven and because of what happened to her boyfriend and because "she can't just do it right".

THE LYRICS ARE SO. "clothes food shelter + love and miss you"?? "my lethal weapon is how to be in love with you"?? "kiss goodbye to this feeling cuz it's too heavy"?? again, the "why can't i just do it right" line?? SO GOOD.

MAHIRU RAPPING. THIS SONG STARTS WITH HER RAPPING. LITERAL CHILLS

i've heard the i love you chorus once and now it's in my head forever. i wake up, i sing the i love you chorus. i go to sleep, i sing the i love you chorus.

the lyrics are so sad when you start thinking about them more. "saying i love you but doing what i did, i know i have no right, crossed and covered in sin"?? please, don't you want to give mappi a hug. please she deserves it. she needs it

the "DIE-suki" pun.

the mv is so. i can talk about it for hours. it literally starts with showing us what happened to her bf. i've watched it live, i knew about this part and i still was shocked. mahiru's boyfriend is dead. mahiru is also rapping. also, the lyrics. this scene is terrifying to me and i mean it in the best way possible.

the cake symbolism. mahiru refusing to accept her reality and the true nature of her relationship with her bf and still seeing everything around her as cute and soft and pink. her feeling guilty and not knowing how to express love properly and still choosing to continue to love in this way. i don't know, something about it is so.. it's so sad and so realistic and so heartbreaking

i love how we can say so much about her relationship with her boyfriend based on mv and the lyrics. this is more of a theory and i probably shouldn't talk about it but i like the fact that mappi and her bf's relationship wasn't just abusive or one-sided love or anything like that. it's like they loved each other, they just.. didn't know how to show it or express it in a healthy way (or maybe mahiru's bf did know, but he was okay with going through all of this for her). like this scene when they're both riding the carousel and looking happy at first and even when both of them look like a mess, mahiru's face expression is still pretty much the same while her boyfriend looks much more tired, but he's still smiling. something about that part breaks me.

the instrumental is so fun and chaotic and creepy please listen to it. all milgram instrumentals are great but ily instrumental is definitely one of my fav ones.

Propaganda for CAT:

"You like jazz? Jazz is chaos within order. Got to love the whole band. Vibraphone, saxophone, trumpet, flute, piano, guitar, drums, bass… Go, rhythm section, go! The song sounds tender at times and aggressive at others as different instruments pop up at different times. Sometimes they follow Kazui’s voice (“follow the king of the masquerade”). Sometimes they get to be the focus. You have the chill piano one moment and the screaming guitar in the next.

You’ve got a lovely “jingle” (“Lie until it gets better…”) which occurs at the beginning, middle, and end. It fits the “newspaper ad” style of the video really well. Also at the very end, there’s one more line that gives the jingle an upward contour, giving a sense of finality. “Until you can meet the king of the masquerade.” You’re there now.

The two verses start off differently before they take on a similar melody. It feels like Kazui is talking to a different person in each verse.

The chorus is a beautiful façade the first time and a sinister truth the second time.

The opening for solos shows that this jazz song means business. I love how the saxophone and trumpet especially get in your face. And with the tacet on vocals, the walking bass really shines if you lend it your ear.

And the smoke break! Silence is golden. Glass click. Lighter. Huff.

As always, Kazui’s voice is super deep. He hits even lower notes this time around. He’s a fifth lower than the next lowest singers (Haruka and Shidou)."

---

-Great instrumental choice. Kazui and jazz is *chefs kiss*

-Symbolism. THE SYMBOLISM. I can’t type out all my thoughts but ifykyk

-The almost comic like style of the MV is really appealing.

-Lyrics!! There is so much to unpack but it’s really cool.

-Kazui eating the dove… fricken iconic.

---

FIRST OF ALL the vocals????? BEAUTIFUL. His va put his whole pussy into this song and you can tell!! The way he sings the chorus is so damn addicting I'm so in love with him. His voice is more or less stable throughout the entire thing until the final chorus but you can hear the emotion peaking out which fits perfectly with Kazui keeping everything hidden. The way his voice turns into a sort of whisper during "all the things I wanna do that I can't say outloud"??? The way his voice starts trembling during "this feeling it's yearning to be satisfied"???? The way his voice turns into a sort of whisper AND starts trembling during "hey, if I said I liked-liked you, what would you?"?????? HEAVENLY! You can really feel how afraid Kazui is under his disguise and my heart breaks a little everytime I listen. Not to mention how absolutely powerful his voice gets at the climax!!!!!! It's insane!!!!!!! It's genius!!!!!! It makes me wild makes me crazy makes me eat my walls!!!!!!!!!!

THE SMOKE BREAK?????? What other song has something as powerful as that huh???? This isn't just a song produced by the milgram machine using his memories, this is HIS song and he is OWNING IT! The music builds up so much and gets so intense right before it, I can literally feel myself get tense and starting holding my breath right before he takes the break and everything relaxs… it's not just a break for him, but a break for the viewer. The song is spiralling out of control just like his life and his lies and he has no choice but to put it to a quick stop before its too much to handle.

THE IMAGERY IS WILD!!!!! He's a magician!!! Little magic guy!!!! Using tricks and lies to amaze and captivate the people around him! Trying desperately to magic his own feelings into something else! But it's all fake! It's all tricks and no matter how hard he tries he can never actually change himself into what he wants! But he's trying to convince himself the same way he's convinced his audience!! And when you're watching a magic act, are you there for the magician themself or are you there to watch the show?? The people in his life only cared for him when he performed for them, but they didn't give a drop of love to who he was a person! ALSO the transformation of the wedding ring to a cigarette to the dove at the end??? Makes me wild every single time! Right infront of his wife, he showed her that their marriage was something unhealthy for him that was slowly killing him from the inside. AND THEN he uses it to harm himself???? And then he turns that cigarette into a dove- a representation of love and literally TEARS INTO IT. He tears his marriage apart with his mouth!!! AKA HIS WORDS. makes me wild. Also fun fact Kazui says he started smoking because when he was younger it was "just natural for everyone to smoke" and that lines up with his reasons for marriage perfectly.

Kazui looks really hot in it. You should vote for Cat because Kazui is insanely attractive. What other reason do you need huh? Hot gay middle aged man.

[hotluncheddie]

New anon here... I've been thinking about the government shoving Eddie into witness protection without letting him say goodbye to the rest of the group, which is a real bummer Steddie-wise because they were definitely headed towards something. So Eddie is like, in the suburbs of Chicago or somewhere under the new name Nathan Edwards or something, gets a slave wage job at a Scoops Ahoy, and proceeds to eat his feelings.

A couple years later, Steve is passing through the area, sees the Scoops, and thinks what the hell, he's doing pretty well for himself these days at whatever "fuck you dad I can make it on my own" career he ended up choosing, he can go in and tip some fresh outta high school kid the way he'd always appreciated back in his Starcourt days. And wow, the guy behind the counter definitely isn't a teenager, but he does look familiar...

:0 anon!!!!!

i’m hoping by saying he eats his feeling in the ice cream shop that we’re on the same page here… (bc oof 🥴👹)

but ugh witness protection is so sad omg but big hurt/comfort possibilities maybe i think i think

they make them leave straight out of the hospital, him and wayne and one box of stuff each. they give them new names, a new place, set wayne up with a new job. but it’s not the same, nothing is, never will be. eddie has to cut his hair, thankfully not a buzz cut but he hasn’t had his curls sit above his ears in years. it’s the thing that makes his feel most strange, he thinks - not recognising himself in the mirror.

recovering physically took a long time, mentally, just as long. but eventually he needs to be around people again, needs money, a routine. the scoops job started as kind of a joke and then he realised it was the place he applied with the easiest commute and the owner was a really chill dude at the interview and then it really wasn’t a joke anymore. eddie worked a scoops ahoy. the pay is whatever but the work is fine and with wayne’s wage they more than get by and while it’s boring, it also kind of feels like breathing room, time to slow down and learn about himself again, after everything.

after a while eddie is actually kind of digging the sailor outfit, gives him an excuse to be kind of silly and get away with way more with customers that he should. like you can’t really get mad at him, not dressed like that, not when he still gets the orders right. it feels like a character, he’s the bard, the jester, and one day he’ll break free but for now - he enjoys the free icecream.

it started small, employees are allowed one item in break and he usually went for a soda, then that changed to a milkshake or a cone. and then one night he was closing and it was right by wayne’s birthday and there was a quarter of a tub set to be thrown out. and, well, eddie thought, why not take it home?

then the new monthly schedule comes out and since most of the part timers are younger and he has his (new) van it’s got him set to closing alone most shifts. fine by him, one hour of pay where he can blast his walkman while he cleans, best case scenario even.

he was also in charge of making sure the tubs were correctly filled ready for the openers and that meant throwing out the near empty ones. so near empty that that kid in eddie seems to rear up and remind him of all those times they couldn’t afford icecream, why let it go to waste? he always did have a sweet tooth.

so most nights his routine after work is to get home, have dinner with wayne, get high, watch some tv or read or listen to music and most notably polish off whatever ice cream and ‘only just out of date so still definitely good’ toppings he’s managed to squirrel home.

that last bit is notable because it’s been a year of working there, just under a year of this new routine, and eddie’s had to size up his once baggy uniform.

he’s kept definition in his legs and arms since his job is running around and scooping frozen shit. but now he’s padded with a layer of chub and his stomach is padded with a lot more than that, having bared the brunt. his cheeks have also rounded and his thighs and ass are honestly looking better than ever.

and with everything so new that’s been forced on him, this new at least feels like his. he knows how it happened, he’s not dumb, and yeah sometimes he ate just to wallow but he enjoyed every fucking bite of that ice-cream. and yeah he knows the red stripes that streak up his sides and push agains the waistband of his shorts aren’t everyone’s idea of desirable but, this is him now. everything else in his life is new, may as well have a new body to go with it. and to be honest he finally feels like he’s recognising himself in the mirror now. this new guy he’s had to become, there are ways that it’s still his.

but god does he miss everyone. not a day goes by he doesn’t think of home, his friends, his life, the people he almost died with. steve. so every night he gets high and eats ice cream and feels his belly swell that little bit more. sometimes he cries, sometimes he laughs but he’s alive and he has wayne and they’re safe. so every night he eats icecream.

-

steve moves to chicago with robin. he’s in school to be a physical therapist, robin studying italian. they moved just outside the city because it’s cheaper, a nice little neighbourhood. hes getting by, he works at a gym and helps with some of the classes, it’s decent pay and fun and he’s getting more and more days where that darkness feels far away, his rain cloud isn’t so thick. he’s doing it, surviving. living, even.

but, every day he misses eddie munson.

he’s out jogging when he spots it, taken a new route and made it to a strip of stores he didn’t know were there. with a scoops ahoy. just like summer of ‘83.

he laughs.

for old times sake and knowing robin will get a kick out of it he head in inside. thinks the 20 in his sock is more than enough to have spare for a tip that should brighten whatever kid is working the counter. surely they don’t still have the same unifo- nope, they do, and the guy at the counter looks much closer to steve’s age than the high schooler he expected. he’s cute. big eyes, nice hands.

-

eddie’s frozen. there’s a spectre in his store. steve’s staring at him. eddie’s stares at steve. eddie’s suddenly filled with anxious energy, unsure how to process what’s in front of him. tugs at his shirt out of habit, smooths the fabric down over the plush of his stomach, readjusts his hat that doesn’t need readjusting, bounces on his toes. what the fuck.

and eddie sees that steve doesn’t quite recognise him with his rounder features and shorter hair. he can’t wear his rings to work (they’re different, gold but still chunky) and, obviously steve’s never seen him dressed like this, also probably never imagined eddie would have a belly like that.

the second thing that registers in eddie, after the initial shock, is feeling his stomach drop out in fear. for wayne. for their place. for his job… for steve.

he doesn’t remember what the rules were about contact with his past. but he’s pretty sure there were rules on it.

but then something flickers across steve’s face, a flash of lightning, and he’s moving, leaning across the counter and enveloping eddie in a hug. ‘oh thank god.’ eddie hears steve breathe, strained and relieved and so full of emotion eddie feels his throat close and his eyes burn. steve’s here. eddie squeezes back and breaths deep, he smells like sweat and hairspray and home.

his steve is here.

and all eddie can do is cling back.

they’ll have to figure something out. he can’t let go of this again.

[girlfromthecrypt]

Sending another tumbler classic!!

What if someone is very actively flirting with RO, making heart eyes at them, complimenting, smiling sweetly, etc. The MC looks at them from afar. They don't like it, they are jealous and upset, but they can't say anything because they are too shy and not sure if RO likes such attention from this person or not. So, MC just sends sad glances in their direction. What would the Ro's do?

(crush stage)

Reem: ok her heart would break for MC. She's patient, and she probably realized there's something there at this point, so in the event she also wants to pursue MC, she's just quickly gonna say goodbye to whomever is doing the flirting and run back to MC for some quality time. Anything to remedy those puppy eyes.

Flo: a) does not realize he's being flirted with and b) does not realize MC is sad. But no worries, even if he did notice the flirting, he probably wouldn't be into it. He's wary of people who hit on him without establishing something of a bond first.

Basil: @ whomever is doing the flirting: "Yes, thanks, I know. Sweet of you to notice, though. I really appreciate it. Anyhow, I'm just gonna scoot..." And then he'll extricate himself to go cheer up MC, make them laugh again with his stupid jokes and also to demonstrate that he's very much available to MC. (*spreads arms* "Judging from that look, I'm guessing you missed me!")

Anita: she's kind of overwhelmed to receive attention like this, and while a part of her enjoys it, she's aware that it's not coming from the person who she actually wants it to come from (MC ofc). So she's gonna go like, "Thank you so much, it was lovely talking to you but I have somewhere to be." She'll return to MC and ask them if something's the matter, knowing full well what's wrong. Just like with Basil, it's more about showing MC that it's them she Really wants, even though she can't hide she was pleased at getting compliments.

Sawyer: is a dick about it. If MC hasn't spoken up about liking them yet, Sawyer will view that as MC refusing to make an effort and form a connection with them. So they will enjoy another person flirting with them simply bc MC is watching. They will also check multiple times if MC is still watching and be delighted when they are. They're like "See, I have other options, so you should really ask me out already". They don't have any interest in whomever is doing the flirting and will not make any further moves to encourage them.

Also this is so funny to me that I got this ask bc I just read @thelonelyshore-if 's answer to the exact same one.

[moocheesee]

Bucchigiri?! x Reader

Some silly hcs when you're his s/o

Part Two w Outa and Matakara<3

Reader is GN!

Shindo

✓ I actually imagine you were a freshman at the school when you met Shindo ✓ you only knew him from afar since back then he liked to keep to himself, always shy and quiet around everyone ✓ things changed when you joined Minato Kai ✓ you were training with the other members when Ken came around with a new member ✓ you instantly recognized Shindo ✓ making your move on getting to know him you two spend a lot of time together (you constantly pestered him) ✓ he slowly opened up to you and you helped him woth becoming stronger as well ✓ when the incident happened where he got banned from Minato Kai you two lost contact even though you tried to find him again ✓ a while later Shindo showed up before you one day, completely changed ✓ explained his plans to you bc you still have a special place in his heart ✓ you tried to warn Ken but it was already too late when the fight started ✓ after the fight (and Shindo getting his ahh handed to him) he surprisingly stuck around you ✓ but not in a nice way, that mf was everywhere you went (or you swore it was a curse and you were the one constantly running into him) ✓ you knew everything that was happening with Senya and Ichiya because Shindo doesn't keep his voice down while ranting about them every chance he gets ✓ from then on you two were a duo (unintentionally)

Arajin

✓ plssss the only way you'd (hopefully) ever fall for this guy is when you knew him before ✓ like you were chilling with Matakara and Arajin everyday when you were kids ✓ watched them train to become Honki people omg ✓ but that day young Matakara got beat up by this group of kids you weren't around because of a family emergency ✓ you only ever heard Matakaras side of story of why he suddendly moved without saying goodbyes ✓ you two missed him everyday from them on but you had quiet a lot on your hands with rebel Matakara anyways (can't blame ya) ✓ when Arajin moved back and joined your school you were actually ecstatic ✓ you finally had your childhood crush Back after all ✓ Arajins eyes lit up for a bit and you could see a blush on his cheeks when he saw you for the first time when you went to greet him ✓ his happiness quickly dropped tho and he was acting cold towards you, kinda like he's hella uncomfy in your presence (Zabu wanted to beat shrimps ahh everytime he saw you sad bc Arajin ignored you again ✓ and this is how it went ✓ with you (and Matakara) trying to talk to him but he blocked you both out help ✓ you never thought you'd actually be jealous of Mahoro out of all people srs ✓ "I need to find my darling husband. I'm so worried about him." "Honestly, what do you see in that guy?" "He makes me laugh." -Y'alls energy ✓ anyways, i believe you two come together after the whole ideal with Matakara and Ichiya is done. ✓ you were the first one there to hug him&taking care of him and the way he finally seemed to care about you and Matakara made you happy ✓ you have the old Arajin finally back ✓ he still tried to ask Mahoro out w the stone and she rejected (obv) you swooped in and offered him to go on a date. ✓ with no guilt haunting him he was able to see you as you and man was SMITTEN ✓ have fun with a sweaty and awkward diarrhea bomb crushing on you ✓ tbh prepare for him to stare and be interested in other women too (if you can't beat em join em and now you both look at women you find pretty but You're much more smooth with it) ✓ will gift you your personal carved stone with yours and his initials <3 ✓ wear his shirts plsssss he loves it sm ✓ he can COOK and this WELL! Definetly would spoil you with food ✓ he hates fighting but still will protect you (as much as he could) ✓ pls hit him when he tries those cringy romantic shit on you ✓ oh also his momma would absolutely ADORE YOU

KOMAO

✓ HES MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE ✓such a sweetheart omg ✓ BUT he'll tease the shit outta you if you give him the opportunity ✓ he's so clingy and touchy so expect him to randomly hug you or hold onto you ✓ PIGGY BACK RIDES!!! Both ways! Prefers if you carry him and he'll compliment you sm💞 ✓ prolly has really funny pet names for you too ✓ he straight up asked you out a few days after meeting you ✓ is not above pestering you until you say yes anyways ✓ absolutely loves it when you hold his face in your hands ✓ greeting him every morning means running towards each other and him spinning you (or you him, it can go both ways) ✓ lots of holding hands and hugging to the point Zabu groans loudly out of

[anothermansjeans]

idk how you feel about songfics but i’m obsessed w tswift’s dbatc rn and i’m just thinking about spencer reid having a secret relationship that he leaves bc he’s afraid his so will be killed by an unsub but his so is like a local singer and garcias a huge fan and is like omg this song is so beautiful and sad happy ending or angst ending doesn’t matter i just think that song encompasses how i would feel if i loved and lost reid sorry for rambling anywayyy

i am a woman on a mission and ik you just requested this but as soon as i saw it i got immediate inspo

i also have a hotch x reader fic called death by a thousand cuts BUT i had to do this one as well 🫶 also i’m so sorry if it’s shit i’m so tired lmaoooo

I Can’t Pretend It’s Okay When It’s Not

spencer reid x fem!reader

When Penelope gushed about a local musician she absolutely adores playing at the cafe she visits frequently and forced the entirety of the BAU team to tag along, she forgot to mention what Spencer would deem the most important piece of information— her name.

At first, when they walked into the coffee shop already a couple songs in due to the team's later arrival (much to Penelope’s dismay), Spencer wasn’t completely aware of the angelic voice completing beautiful melodies. His main focus being on getting coffee into his system asap, while he was up at the counter, he tuned it out almost completely— again, almost. The moment he heard her speak was a completely different story.

“Um, so this is a new song…” the woman on the small five inch high stage started, “I actually wrote it a couple weeks ago after a very… difficult time in my life… a time I’m still actually going through, but I hope you guys have it in your heart to give it a listen with open minds. This is Death by a Thousand Cuts.”

Spencer slowly walked back over to the team, eyes wide and fixed on the woman he believes is the love of his life. The only problem being he has no right to call her his anymore.

Soft strumming of the guitar began, with low my’s being sung, and he heard a soft gasp come from his left. “Oh, this is gonna hurt,” Penelope said, one hand placed on her chest while the other hugged around her body.

“Saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts

Flashbacks waking me up

I get drunk, but it's not enough

'Cause the morning comes and you're not my baby

I look through the windows of this love

Even though we boarded them up

Chandelier's still flickering here

'Cause I can't pretend it's ok when it's not

It's death by a thousand cuts”

Not even a minute in and Spencer feels as though he’s been stabbed through the heart. It’s difficult hearing it from her perspective. When he made the decision to end what they had, it was out of protection— it was so that she wouldn’t have to deal with the burdens of his job.

“I dress to kill my time

I take the long way home

I ask the traffic lights if it'll be all right

They say, "I don't know"

And what once was ours is no one's now

I see you everywhere

The only thing we share

Is this small town”

“You said it was a great love

One for the ages

But if the story's over

Why am I still writing pages?”

Spencer thinks back to their love story, back to when it began and the blissful moments, the rendezvous’, and the unasked questions about why they only ever had real dates inside and why no one on the team or anyone with any semblance of importance in Spencer’s life knew of them.

He thinks back to how happy she was, and how she was content with just being with him. How when her eyes lit up the first time he said he loved her, but also the dim the second he ended things.

He thinks about the nightmares he thought were over. How instead of Maeve being the victim it was now her. How if it wasn’t for those nightmares, the onslaught of “what-if’s” wouldn’t plague his mind. How if he had a less dangerous job, a job that didn’t take every ounce of life or happiness out of him, he would and could still be with her.

And as he thinks of these things, he suddenly becomes aware of the blazing eyes that had locked with his, and a tiny gasp is heard from the microphone before she starts playing with more vigor.

“My heart, my hips, my body, my love

Trying to find a part of me that you didn't touch

Gave up on me like I was a bad drug

Now I'm searching for signs in a haunted club

Our songs, our films, united we stand

Our country, guess it was a lawless land

Quiet my fears with the touch of your hand

Paper cut stings from our paper thin plans”

It hurt. So much. And it was clear it wasn’t only him because each word she sang was aimed to puncture him. The tears brimming in her eyes were also evident. To anyone else, her words are curated from past

memories from someone who hurt her, but to Spencer, it was a message. A message that every single part of their relationship was taken into account while writing this song. A message that everything they’ve ever said or done had been tainted with the memory of him leaving her with no explanation.

“My time, my wine, my spirit, my trust

Trying to find a part of me you didn't take up

Gave you too much but it wasn't enough

But I'll be all right, it's just a thousand cuts”

He watches as she screws her eyes shut, and the sharpness of her words becomes duller as she sings on. He knew he fucked up the moment he walked out of her apartment the night he ended it, but he has never regretted it more than now. He misses her. He misses smiles, the laughter, the unconditional love that radiates from her. He would do anything to get that back.

He doesn’t realize he’s standing there, staring at her in awe mixed with sadness until applause is heard throughout the cafe and Penelope lets out a small “so sad and and beautiful,” while wiping under her eyes. He also doesn’t realize that after she announces a small break that he was walking up to her in a daze, the entire team behind him eyes wide with shock.

He also doesn't realize the first words he speaks to her are what they both longed to hear between the two for weeks.

“I miss you so much.”

She’s shocked to say the least. She’s completely speechless to the point where he begins to speak again due to the lack of words on her side.

“I’m an idiot— I’m, I’m so stupid. You’d think with an IQ of 187 I would be able to not make decisions like leaving the one woman I love the most in the world. Y/N, I swear I thought I was keeping you safe because with me and my job, that’s not always a guarantee, but listening to you and what you’re going through, I can’t— I know it wasn’t the right thing to do—”

“Spencer,” she finally cut him off, placing her hand on his arm and shifting her eyes to the people behind him who had been standing with him. “Later, okay? You can tell me everything later when we aren’t surrounded by a bunch of people.” The look in her eyes was genuine, but there was still hurt swimming in them. He wanted to say something, anything to ease it, but before he could open his mouth she grabbed the acoustic guitar and gave him a small smile. “And I miss you too,” she said before walking back up on the small platform and adjusting her mic.

While introducing her next song, Spencer slowly made his way back to the group who were going to ask the inevitable questions, but that didn’t stop the small smile from making its way to his lips, and he thought that maybe, just maybe, they won’t have to pretend to be okay anymore.

[silverstonesainz-archive]

more

1k celebration

summary: pushing and pulling, always wanting more until one doesn't have anything left to give. pairing: daniel ricciardo x fem!oc word count: 11.7k warnings: not proofread, profanities, SMUT - MINORS DNI! This is an 18+ fic (unprotected sex, vaginal sex, fingering - f receiving, oral - m & f receiving), angsty af, daniel lowkey being very whiney and pathetic but its okay. i could also be so inaccurate in descriptions of monaco and other locations but pls it just works well with the story. note: i hope you love this, i had so much fun writing it. and before you ask, yes i will be writing a part two. but don't ask me when bc i have 2 wips left. s/o to @bigdiccricc for helping me when i was stuck, i literally love you forever.

songs i listened to while writing this:

lifeline - joshua bassett // sad songs in a hotel room - joshua bassett // bad omens - 5sos // bleach - 5sos // emotions - 5sos // the way you look tonight - tony bennett //

Daniel wanders the halls and rooms of the house, curtly smiles and nods to people who greeted him and wished him luck just before the season goes into full swing. The air is thick, filled with expectations of 2022 and what he could just pull off. Most of the people expected the most of him, expected him to whip miracles out of a car that simply wasn’t made for him. It made his stomach churn. 

The Aussie looks at his phone for the hundredth time tonight, heart deflating at the screen void of her name. Just more meaningless texts about work and more wishful words. Daniel felt pathetic. 

The Aussie looks at his phone for the hundredth time tonight, heart deflating at the screen void of her name. Just more meaningless texts about work and more wishful words. Daniel felt pathetic. 

He doesn’t stay at the party for much longer, bidding goodbye to his closest friends and promising to see them one more time before he leaves. No one wondered why the life of the party was so glum or seemed to care. Daniel had never left a party so quickly, never welcomed an empty home more in his life. He shuffles into bed, the soft sheets and plush pillows embracing him. That’s when his phone chimes, screen lighting up the dark room. He should’ve been ashamed of how quickly he reached for his cell, swiping up on his screen to read the gray bubbles under her name. 

I’m really sorry. Are you awake? I need you 

There it was. Three words that will always keep Daniel hooked. All Anahí had to do was say she needed him, and Daniel was there. Whatever, whenever, she just says or sends those three words and he would come running. I need you. Three words have never sounded so pretty rolling off her tongue. 

Wide awake angel.  Where are you?

Daniel is already rolling out of bed, slipping back the same joggers and sweatshirt he had on. Just as he rolls his socks onto his feet, his phone chimes again. 

Home.  I’m brewing tea. It’ll be ready when you get here

He had to chuckle at himself and acknowledge his predictability. Ana knew him all too well. 

Just fucking pathetic.

Anahí only lived twenty minutes from his home in Monaco, sometimes ten when he remembers what he does for a living. The drive is quiet, streets empty with exception of one or two cars. Most people were fast asleep, or just about to roll into bed. It’s what Daniel loves most about Monaco. The simplicity, the suburban feel of it. He loved Monaco in all its glory, loved everything it gave him. And that included her. 

He parks next to Ana’s gray Mercedes S-Class, feet taking him all the way to her front door. It isn’t the first time he finds himself walking to her door past midnight. Hell, it might be the earliest he’s ever shown up. He taps the door thrice, rocking back and forth from heel to toe as he waits for her to open the door. It’s only a couple of seconds before he hears the locks jiggle and click, and Anahí is yanking the door open. There is defeat in her eyes, the usual brightness in them gone. She doesn’t say anything, just steps aside to allow him to enter. It’s quiet, the air thick with the unknown. 

Just as she promised, there are two mugs sitting on the dining table with steam rising from the top. The kitchen is tidy, minus the silver kettle sitting on the stove and the opened box of tea bags on the counter. 

“I found this ‘happy tea’ at the grocery store. We can see if it works.” She finally says. 

Daniel turns his head, eyes following as she moves around him and to the seat in front of the white mug. He sits in front of her, fingers hooking around the navy blue handle to tug it towards him. Daniel can finally study her, really look and try to understand her at this moment. 

The name Anahí is of Spanish origin, meaning beautiful like the flower. Her name never rang more true, even in her dampened state. Her cheeks are rosy, lips a beautiful shade of red, and her lashes long and thick. Long dark hair waterfalls over her shoulder, a mess of effortless waves. Even in the warm kitchen light, unflattering as it is, Anahí looked like an angel. Her thin fingers wrap around the ceramic mug, hugging it between her palms as she brings it close to her lips. She blows softly, before sipping. For the briefest of moments, her eyes fall shut, inhaling deeply. Daniel is mesmerized by the short moment of serenity, the look of content before her eyes open and she sets the cup down on the table.

“Well?”

She looks up at Daniel, a small smile on her lips before she shrugs. “I’m just happy you came.”

He can’t fight the smile forming on the lips, or the small giggle bubbling from his throat. He can’t help the warmth brewing in his chest over such a simple sentence. She smiles back, sweeping her hair over her shoulder. They sit in a much more comfortable silence, just sipping tea and enjoying the presence of the other. Halfway down the cup, Daniel leans back and looks up at his best friend. 

“You look nice, did you have a date?”

She shakes her head, “No. Yes… but no. I got stood up. Which is fine, but it isn’t.” 

Daniel tilts his head, raising his brow in confusion. “Fine but it isn’t?”

“He eliminated himself.” Ana shrugs, eyes casted towards the dark liquid in her cup. “Now I don’t have to guess if he’s the one or not.”

“But…?” 

“But what’s so wrong with me? What is so wrong that I seem to deter men who want more than a one night stand?” 

The air gets caught in Daniel’s lungs, throat running dry. He needed to choose his words carefully, craft his response in a way that won’t totally give away his feelings for her. Was there a platonic way of saying that there wasn’t anything wrong with her, that in fact everything about her makes his heart swell? That he’s sitting right here, that he’s been here this entire time pining for her, waiting patiently for her to realize that he’s a man who wants more than a one night stand?

“I guess it’s my mistake for going on Tinder,” Anahí speaks up again, standing from her seat and going to pour the remnants of her tea down the sink. 

Daniel chuckles dryly, standing and following her to do the same. “Yeah. Maybe.” 

He washes her dishes while she moves around behind him. There is soft clinging and clanging, cabinet doors opening and closing. It’s almost domestic, down right perfect as he stands there in her space while she moves freely. Daniel places the mug on the drying rack, shaking his hands before drying them on the beige hand towel. He turns his body, leaning against the counter as he watches Ana walk around her kitchen. 

“Listen,” Daniel’s voice makes her turn in her place, looking up at him inquisitively, “For what it’s worth, it’s not you. It’s the way some men are wired. And I think that the world collectively is afraid of commitment.”  

Ana smiles, nodding. “Is it the way you’re wired?” 

He chuckles, “I’d like to think not.” 

“I don’t know Danny,” Ana teases, dragging out the o in ‘know’. “Thirty-two and no commitment?”

“Woah! Don’t pull out the age card,” Daniel laughs, poking her in the stomach. She giggles, tiny hands grabbing his wrists to stop him from poking her any further. 

“Maybe you should be on Tinder,” Ana laughs, jabbing her finger into his chest as he laughs loudly. 

“I’m more of a Hinge guy myself actually.” He jolts his hand forward, fingers reaching her skin and poking her stomach once more. 

Anahí’s laugh is loud. It’s the kind of laugh that will make your head turn, make you ponder over what kind of a woman would own a laugh like hers. Her smile is wild, ear to ear and tongue peeking between her pearly white teeth. It’s music, Daniel’s favorite song. 

Ana catches his wrists in her hands, finally stopping his friendly prodding. “Okay okay, stop! I surrender.”

Daniel nods, straightening his posture. The skin of his wrists tingles beneath her touch, like little jolts of electricity passing between the two. The moment lasted a couple of seconds, but to Daniel it felt much longer. He could stand in that moment forever, under her happy gaze. 

“Will you spend the night?” Anahí asks softly, releasing his wrists. “One more sleepover before you become too busy for me.” 

“Never too busy for you angel.” 

She rolls her eyes, “You know what I mean.”

Daniel contemplates his options. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s spent the night, innocently laying in bed by her. But he knows that it wouldn’t be smart. He knows that if anything, it will fuck him over for the n-th time. The night will turn into him watching her sleep, wishing on the stars that she’d wake up and have an epiphany. Maybe she’d wake up and see him by her side and realize he would never leave. Though, that’s not how life works. She would never magically read his mind, never be able to have that realization on her own. He knows what he has to do, what he needs to say. And in spite of that his fear of fucking up the only good thing in his life keeps his lips sealed. Sleeping in the same bed would only mean he gets his feelings hurt when he has to leave in the morning. It means his heart breaking as he watches her move in her space, perfectly comfortable with his presence and comfortable without it. 

Anahí looks up at him with her wide brown eyes, waiting for the answer she already knows. Daniel didn’t have the heart to say no. 

So they climb into bed, Anahí on the right and Daniel on the left. He’s stripped down to his boxers, the cotton duvet soft against his skin. Anahí is still sitting up, swiping away on her phone before lying comfortably on her side. Daniel props his head up on his hand, elbow resting on the pillow as he looks down at the girl next to him.

“What are you thinking about?” He whispers, reaching over to push a stray strand of hair off her face. 

She hums softly, savoring the delicate feel of his fingertips grazing her skin. There is a look of serenity on her face, the way her eyes shut for the briefest of seconds, and the slight flair in her nostrils as she breathes in.

“Thinking about how lonely I’ve been.” Anahí admits softly, “Thinking about all the failed dates and encounters. Of all the time I’ve wasted… sometimes I think that this life I’m leading is all that’s left. It’s hard to see an ‘up’ from where I’m standing.” 

Daniel lowers his head on the pillow, shifting his body around trying to get comfortable. “There’s always an up. This isn’t it for you angel, there’s still so much time left in the world to see the ups.” 

“Thank you for coming tonight,” She yawns, moving a little closer to him. “Thank you for always being a constant in my life. I can’t imagine this life without you Daniel.” 

He could kiss her. There is no stronger urge than the one he had now. He wants to weave his fingers through her hair and kiss her hard. He wanted his lips to show her how much he cares for her, show her that he will always be a constant even when she no longer needs him. He wants to hold her against him, to feel her warmth against his skin. 

He doesn’t kiss her. Instead he rests his hand on hers, squeezing softly. 

“Anything for you, Ana.”

It isn’t long before Ana falls into a deep slumber. Her lips are slightly parted hair standing disarray due to her small movements. The room was pitch black, with the exception of the small little nightlight in the corner of the room. The light is warm, making her skin look far more golden than it is. There Daniel lies, admiring her and making all those wishes that will never come true. 

The morning goes how it normally does. Daniel wakes before her, rolls out of bed to start up a pot of coffee to start their day. By the time Ana wakes up, Daniel is already walking in with her cup of coffee. She smiles, eyes still closed as she stretches her arms over her head. He holds out the cup for her to take, waiting patiently as she slowly sits up and reaches for it. She says a quiet thank you before sipping her coffee. They sit in comfortable silence until one has to say goodbye. Today it’s Daniel, chucking his early departure to conference calls and training. 

He walks out of her apartment feeling unfulfilled. He felt like he had fucked himself over as he drowns in the memory of her asleep by his side and how easy it was being with her. Daniel sits in his blue McLaren 540C, head resting on the steering wheel.

Daniel felt just fucking pathetic.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It must've been three days since Daniel last heard from Anahí. No texts or calls, absolutely no effort from either party to communicate. With him preparing to leave for Bahrain for pre-season testing and Anahí too busy with work, there hadn’t been much time to talk.

Daniel is set to leave in two days, and knowing how busy his last two days in Monaco are going to be, there wasn’t much thought into sending Ana a ‘wyd’ text. Three letters simply asking if she was available. Daniel sits at his desk trying his best to concentrate on reading the lengthy email on his computer screen. There were updates on the car plus a new agenda for his arrival in Bahrain, very important information he needed to comprehend and yet his mind is stuck on his cellphone and its black screen. If roles were reversed, he would be running. He’d have replied in an instant. It made him feel like shit, when it really shouldn’t. 

His phone finally chimes after ten minutes. 

Sorry, was driving.  Just got home, but might go out to take a walk. Join me?

Daniel grins, letting her know he’d meet her at hers in twenty minutes. He makes quick work of replying to the remainder of his emails, taking screenshots of his Bahrain schedule, and making sure that most of his work was squared away. He’d probably hear it from his manager, but it wasn’t anything his Aussie charm couldn’t handle. 

Anahí is waiting on the front steps of her building, tapping away on her phone and not noticing the curly haired boy jogging up to her. She finally looks up when his footsteps grow louder, greeting him with a smile and open arms for a hug. He scoops her up into his arms, burying his face into her neck for a brief moment before releasing her. She smells of fresh laundry and vanilla. Her hair is tied up high, away from her face and waves falling neatly to her mid-back. 

“We can just walk to the park from here, and we can stop by to get a smoothie too.” 

“Sounds like a plan angel.” Daniel smiles, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jacket. 

The walk from her building to the smoothie shop is only five minutes. And in those five minutes, Anahí rambles on and on about her work, filling him in on the last three days since they last saw each other. She’s always spoken so animatedly, Daniel notes. Her hands move flamboyantly, her voice rising and falling with each story she told. She speaks with such passion, such fire, it was hard for Daniel not to fall even more. 

He opens the door for her, like a gentleman does. He orders her mango smoothie and a green one for himself, and pays even with her protesting. And when they walk out of the shop, Daniel’s arm is slung over her shoulder with his hat sitting low. 

“Are you excited for the season to start?” She asks. 

“Yeah. I’m excited to see how the car has changed, and how I’m gonna kick ass this year.” 

Ana giggles softly, “Good to see that spirits are high. I’m excited for you.” 

Daniel removes his arm from her shoulder to switch hands holding his drink, trying to shake the cold off. “Gonna come out and see me?”

“Just a call away Danny. Say the word and I’ll be there.” 

She leans against his side, steps in sync with his. His heart swells at her words, each one planting seeds of hope in his heart. He smiles widely at her, pressing his cheek against the top of her head briefly. “How ‘bout Bahrain?” 

“Bahrain it is.” 

Daniel holds the drink in the other hand again, even if it still burns to hold, and slings his arm over her shoulder again. Ana leans into his embrace, sipping on her smoothie like it’s the most natural thing in the world. The quiet moments of the walk are comfortable, just the sound of sneakers hitting the pavement and cars whizzing by filling the space. Daniel savors the calmness of the moments, the feeling of moving with the world instead of hundreds of miles ahead. He commits the moment to memory, the feeling of peace and smell of vanilla all engraved in his brain. Everything felt perfect.

“Okay,” Ana plops onto a bench under a tree, sitting sideways to face the Australian, “One hope for the year that you’d like to see come true.” 

The question catches Daniel off guard. “Just one?” 

“Just one.” 

Daniel looks up at the greenery above him in contemplation. He had many hopes for the year, for the future in general. He had hopes for his career, hopes for the season, and hopes for his life out of the car. There was one nagging in the back of his head, threatening to bubble out of his mouth in gentle confessions. 

If he was going to be completely honest, one hope he had for the year was Ana. To be able to give all of himself to her, and for her to find comfort in giving all of herself to him. He wanted to be openly in love with her, to show how much he cares. He hoped for a day where his affections no longer had to be a secret, and that she would be accepting of it. 

But he couldn’t say that now. He didn’t want to run the risk of ruining such a perfect moment in their friendship. 

“In terms of my career, just being as productive as I can be on the team. I hope for wins and points, and just being the best I can possibly be in the car.” 

“But not in terms of your career?”

“Thought you said ‘just one,’ Ana.” Daniel teases, sipping the remainder of his drink.

“Don’t deflect.” 

He chuckles, “Kidding. My hope for life outside of work…” 

Daniel looks at Ana, smiling at her relaxed state. She looks up at him, wide eyed and patiently waiting for his answer. She looked at him like he held the world in his hands, filled with admiration and eagerness. It nearly tempted him to spill his guts out, lay it all out on the bench in the middle of the park. 

“I just hope that whatever I decide to do, however I manage to go about my life, that I’ll be happy by the end of it.” 

Ana’s smile is comforting, reassuring him that he said the right thing. “You are such a simple man. I love that about you.” 

Love. Daniel ignores the flutter in his gut, posing the same question for her. 

“One hope for your year?”

The girl plays with the ends of her ponytail, twirling the loose wave around her finger. She has her thinking face on. Bottom lip tucked between her teeth, cheeks tensed, and eyes focused on her free hand swirling her melted smoothie with the plastic straw. It’s only quiet for a couple of seconds before Ana’s head pops up, eyes meeting his own. 

“Same as you, honestly. I just want to be completely content with my life and the choices I make.”

“Simple woman. Love it.” 

Ana’s smile is wide, eyes crinkling, and nose scrunched up. They both laugh softly. The air is light, easy to breathe. Their knees are touching as they sit on the park bench facing each other, smiles on both their faces. Daniel didn’t want the moment to end. He never wanted to leave the feeling of belonging, the feeling of knowing that this is where he’s meant to be. Relationships and commitment and the whole nine yards had never appealed to him, until this moment. He revels in the simplicity sitting there, on a dirty park bench, and feeling completely at ease. 

He never wanted the smiles and sweet words to ever end. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

P6. It wasn’t bad, but it definitely wasn’t where Daniel wanted to finish at his home race. The whole weekend fell flat. It should’ve been his weekend. From the outside looking in, the days leading up to his home race were ever in his favor. He was home, it was his track. But fuck was it a messy weekend. Had he taken a shot for every colored flag called, every car spinning out, every retirement, he would’ve blacked out. Though he wasn’t entirely without fault. Truthfully, he wasn’t comfortable in his car. No matter what he did, what he tried to adjust, the damn thing was not working with him. Everyone came around to see him win, or at least the bottom step of the podium. He wanted to give home something to brag about, especially after two years of not racing at home. And all he had to deliver was P-fucking-six. He felt like he let people down, felt like a fucking failure.

And to sully the weekend even more, it has been radio silence from Ana. Their text thread is a string of blue desperation, just one text a day. Nothing happened— to Daniel’s knowledge— to elicit the lack of contact. 

Daniel didn’t sleep much on his flight back to Monte Carlo. He was drowning in his past race data and his anxieties over Ana kept his mind busy. Over the fifteen hours worth of traveling, the Aussie only got two hours of real peaceful sleep. He was absolutely dead when he touched down in Monte Carlo. Michael is grabbing his bags for him and loading them in his SUV, as he goes through his phone and clicking her text thread.

Could use some company. Not a great weekend.  Can I see you please?

“Home?” Michael asks. 

Daniel looks down at his phone, heartbeat picking up as he sees the three dots appear on his screen. But it goes as quickly as it comes and there is still no response. 

He sighs. “Home.” 

His apartment is stuffy, eerily quiet as he walks in and drops his duffle by the couch. The exhaustion of traveling is finally catching up to him. His legs feel heavy, eyes burning as sleep threatens to drape over him. Daniel lays in bed for all of two seconds before his text tone goes off. 

I’m on my way.

Daniel smiles tiredly, forcing himself up to lean on his headboard. He types a quick reply for her to let herself in and that he’s already in bed. He does his best to fight the sleep threatening to take him, determined to see his favorite person before slipping into a deep slumber. But his eyes burn and his body is heavy. It grows harder and harder to stay awake with each passing minute. Fifteen minutes feels like eternity. 

He barely registers the front door opening, or her soft footsteps padding closer and closer to his bedroom door. It’s as if his head is attached to a fifty pound weight as he lifts it to look up Ana. There is a soft, almost sympathetic smile on her face as she stands in the doorway.

“Oh Danny.”

He tries to smile, Ana can see the effort he puts in to curve his lips upward. His hair is a mess, eyes glossy with exhaustion, and yet he sits in bed trying to show her how happy he is to see her. 

“You came.”

“Of course I did. Now go to sleep, we can catch up in the morning.”

The tired boy pouts, eyes already shut. “Stay.”

Ana doesn’t think twice. She closes the bedroom door softly, and kicks off her shoes before climbing into bed with Daniel. He sinks back down to his pillow, arm lazily slung over her torso as he slips into a deep slumber. Ana curls into his embrace, fingers reaching out to twirl the frayed curls. Her hands wander, pressing gently against his scalp as the boy snores softly. She can’t help the smile on her face at the look of peace on his sleeping face. Daniel’s strong features are softened in the sweet moonlight. 

He looks beautiful, she thinks.

Daniel wakes up late the next day, head pounding and eyes trying to adjust to the sunlight pouring in through his bedroom window. He groans softly, burying his face in the plush pillow. He reaches over, his hand landing flat against his sheets. His head jolts up, eyes searching the room for dark brown locks and a pretty face. 

And as if the universe saw his disarray, it sends Ana strolling in with two mugs in hand. Daniel’s speeding heart slows, and he drops his head back on his pillow.

“Morning. How ya feeling?”

“Like I got hit by a truck.” His voice is muffled against the pillow. 

“Sleeping twelve hours will do that to ya,” Ana chuckles, sitting on the bed and placing her mug on the nightstand. “Get up, drink your coffee before it gets cold.”

Daniel groans softly before forcing himself up. He takes the cup from her outstretched hands, muttering a thanks before sipping. The bittersweet beverage slowly pulls him from his tired state, the taste comforting. He leans over, placing his mug next to her own.

“You stayed.”

“Of course I did. I want to hear all about Australia and the Grand Prix.” Anahí nibbles on her bottom lip, “And to apologize for disappearing on you during an important weekend. I was dealing with some work stuff and I… yeah I’m sorry.”

Daniel nods, “I get it. It was really nice to be home, but it wasn’t the race I was hoping it would be.” 

He dives into the nitty gritty of the weekend behind him. He reiterates the details, the feelings of Friday through Sunday. Ana listens intently, legs criss-cross and her chin resting in her right hand. She doesn’t say a word, just looking at him and giving him the undivided attention he so desperately craves and deserves. 

“But yeah…” Daniel sips his coffee before rolling onto his back. “Yeah I just want to forget the weekend happened the way it did. Put the whole thing behind me.” 

Ana sighs, straightening her posture. “Sounds fucking crazy. But I watched Sunday, you did amazing considering everything else. I might be a dud when it comes to the numbers and the technical stuff, but still. I’m proud of you. I know home is proud of you too. P6 is nothing to be so down about. It’s only up from here Danny.” She ruffles his curls and he smiles.

She uttered words that his entire team had been reiterating all weekend. He didn’t believe anyone when they said he did great, didn’t think that he did enough. But the words rolling off Ana’s tongue felt real, felt more comforting. If she says that he did great, that his efforts were enough, then it must be true.

“Thanks angel. Now, tell me about your weekend. Missed you in the garage.” Her smile doesn’t reach her eyes. Ana looks away, eyes trained on the gray duvet below her. “Everything alright?”

There is a beat of silence as Ana fiddles with the hem of her t-shirt. She can feel Daniel’s gaze on her, waiting for her answer. Truthfully, everything isn’t alright. Nothing has felt remotely alright for a while, but she isn’t sure if she had the courage to voice that. Ana finally looks up, looking straight at Daniel who stares at her quizzically. His hair is a mess, eyes soft, and head tilted in curiosity.

“Daniel, I’m moving to Montana.” 

His ears start ringing, the world around him seems to slow to a halt. Daniel sits up, hair standing in different directions and his honey eyes in a panic. 

“When?”

“Three months.” 

“But why?”

Ana looks at him, really looks at him. Her heart comes up her throat as she notes Dan’s furrowed brow and obvious frown. He looks like a lost boy, like she just took away his favorite toy. Moving away has always been in the back of her mind, it was the potential answer to all her troubles but also an answer she wasn’t always comfortable with. And sitting here, with Daniel waiting for her to explain, is exactly why she tried to avoid it all together. 

“I’ve done a lot of thinking lately, lots of reflection of my time here in Monaco. I feel like maybe it’s time for a change, that maybe it would be better for me out there to be in a much more quiet and simple place. Maybe… maybe I’ll be happier.” 

Daniel frowns even more, “You’re unhappy?”

Anahí shrugs, “Yeah kind of. I haven’t felt much like myself in a while Daniel. I feel sort of…” She trails off, throat closing up. Daniel can see her eyes glossing over with tears and can hear the strain in her stammering. “I just feel lost. I feel like I’m stuck in a bubble floating away watching as everyone moves on with their life.” 

Daniel isn’t someone you could walk away from, isn’t the kind of person you can simply say goodbye to without some serious contemplation. Saying goodbye to the only good thing in her life isn’t something she came to terms with easily. Daniel has always been there for her even if he’s far away. But it’s come to the point that their connection scares her. She fears she’s become too dependent on him, and that her happiness is determined by his availability. It isn’t fair to either of them. Daniel didn’t need to carry Ana’s baggage, and Ana couldn’t sit in Monaco and wait for him to be available to do so. She needed to make moves for herself, for her happiness.

Tears fall onto her cheeks even as she tries to smile through her sadness. It breaks Daniel’s heart. He reaches over, pulling her against him as she begins to cry softly. His hand rubs her back soothingly, lips pressing a kiss at the top of her head. “I’m sorry.”

He could’ve called more. He should’ve called more. He should’ve flown her out more. He should’ve he should’ve he fucking should’ve. 

“Don’t be.” She blubbers, “You couldn’t have known.” Ana pulls away from his embrace, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand in an attempt to look more composed. The bags under eyes are bright red, matching the tip of her nose. Daniel reaches over, hand cupping her face as his thumb swipes the streak of wet on her cheek. 

“But I should’ve Ana. What kind of best friend have I been?” 

“Oh Dan,” Her hand comes up to hold his. “You are a busy man Mr. Ricciardo. I don’t expect you to drive the car and keep track of me.” 

“I know but–” 

“But nothing, Danny. You’ve been great, the best. I think I would be a lot worse if it weren’t for you.” Anahí chuckles, patting his hand as he releases her.

They sit there, the thick air thinning out. Daniel looks her up and down, taking mental pictures of the moment. He memorizes the way her hair falls over her chest, her flushed cheeks, and wide eyes. He looks at the time. 3:47 pm. The sun was behind her, shining through his window and providing her with a glow. Like an angel. His angel. 

“I don’t want you to go.” Daniel confesses. “And that might be selfish of me… and it’s not me saying that you shouldn’t I just… I had to say it.”

Ana smiles that same old sad smile, almost as if she pitied him. “Daniel…”

“You’re not gonna be ten minutes down the road from me. No more spontaneous walks in the park or sleepovers. You’re gonna be half a world away.” 

Tears well up in Ana’s eyes. “I have three months left here.”

“Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt now.” 

It’s quiet again. The news of her departure looms above them, and they both wish she never said it. If she never said it out loud, then maybe it wouldn’t be real. Except that no matter how long she waited to tell him, it wouldn’t negate the fact that she would be moving away in due time. It won’t delay the inevitable goodbye and heartache. Parting ways is now in their cards, and Daniel couldn’t be sadder about it. 

Ana leaves not too long after, allowing Daniel to try and get his routine together. The sun coats the room orange when she walks out the door. Her hug goodbye is tight, warm, accompanied by the soft promises that they would hang out soon. As soon as the door shuts, this feeling of emptiness settles in his chest. He feels his heart is breaking, and there isn’t a damn thing either of them could do about it.

Selfish thoughts creep into his mind. He could’ve put up more of a fight. He could’ve convinced her otherwise, convinced her that being this close to him is the only solution. What if he poured his heart out, confessing things he only thinks about? What if he told her that she makes his heart soar, that he’s never felt more at home than with her? Daniel can’t help but regret not saying all the gentle and honest confessions, but he also knew that it would be fucked up. It would be him trapping her, because he can’t say goodbye. He was everywhere while she was here, and Daniel didn’t have the heart to beg her to stay. How could he? He traveled the world 9 months of the year. He quite literally moves a hundred miles an hour, how could he ask her to just stay put?

And to that, why would he? Who is he to pine and beg and demand that she stay? He isn’t her lover, they’re not dating, hell he isn’t even fucking her. That she be available to him while he’s in Monaco and to wait patiently while he’s away? He’s only her friend, her best friend, and he needs to be supportive. He needs to show her that he’s on her side. Because he is. She trusts him, and Daniel will be damned if he breaks that. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Two months seems to have flown past Daniel without him realizing it. Time is cruel, and he wishes he could just stop the clock so he can spend one moment longer with Ana. 

They saw each other every chance they got. Whether that means she would fly out to watch him race or they’d take another stroll in the park in Monaco, the two were practically attached at the hip. And in the nearly sixty days, Daniel has one hundred and ten percent fallen irrevocably in love with Anahí. If he didn’t know it then, he sure as hell knows it now. 

The last time he saw Ana was in between Baku and Canada. Daniel really should’ve been flying straight to Canada from Baku, but he wanted to stop at Monaco to see her. He spent 8 hours, touchdown to take off, sitting with her in her apartment as she packed her life away. He tried to help, much to her refusal. In the end, he moves boxes out of the way so that she still has space to move as she counts down the days before she leaves. They laid in the empty living room, the hardwood cool on their clammy skin.

“I have a question,” Daniel posed, turning his head to look over at her. Ana does the same, smiling at him.

“I might have an answer.”

Daniel remembers the feeling of his heart in his throat, the butterflies furiously fluttering in his gut. “A friend of mine is getting married, and I was wondering if you would be my date?”

The second between his question and her answer felt like an eternity. Daniel wanted to throw up. But then she smiles. The smile was wild, ear to ear with her tongue peeking between her pearly white teeth. 

“I’d be honored.”

And that’s how Daniel finds himself in a sleek black Porsche Cayenne, driving the both of them from the airport to their hotel. The wedding is in Valencia, Spain, both in fairly unfamiliar territory. The drive is quiet but short, and it isn’t long until they arrive at their hotel. Daniel hands Ana the paperwork for their room reservation as he lugs the luggage along. Their room is a standard one with two full size beds. It’s spacious, with a view of the resort pool and the coast line behind it. 

The first day is fairly mundane, neither of them choosing to get ready until just about an hour until the rehearsal dinner. Daniel chooses to wear gray trousers and a white long sleeve button up. He rolls the sleeves up to his elbows and undoes the top two buttons. 

“Hey Ana, you ready?” He calls out, tousling with his curls in the mirror.

“Yeah, just about. Just need help with my necklace.”

Daniel’s breath gets caught in his throat as he watches her walk out of the bathroom. She is in a rose colored dress, with a cowl neckline and the hem falling just below her knees. It hugged her every curve, and complimented her skin beautifully. Ana looks up at Daniel through the mirror, completely naive to the way he is looking at her. She holds up her necklace, and it snaps him out of his daydream of her. He chuckles, trying to play off that he was practically drooling over her. They switch places, Daniel standing behind her in front of the mirror as he lays the pearl necklace on her skin. His nimble fingers figure out the clasp quickly, and he can’t help but let them wander on the expanse of her back. He can hear her breath hitch, goosebumps rising on her skin. 

“You look beautiful, angel.” Daniel whispers, taking a step back as he admires her.

Ana’s cheeks tinge red, turning to face Daniel. “Thanks, you look pretty good yourself.” 

“C’mon, we’re gonna be late.” 

Rehearsal dinner is on the property, on the beach. There is a long banquet table, beautifully decorated with elaborate flower arrangements and fancy silverware. Daniel and Ana find their place on the table, smack dab in the middle right across from each other. Dinner was to die for, and the wine was impeccable. They didn’t talk as much, both too distracted socializing with the small group of people closest to them.

The sound of silverware tapping against the glass sends a wave of silence over the table. All eyes are cast on the groom, Adam, and the bride Rachel. They look stunning, standing at the head of the table. Adam looks down at the love of his life as she begins to speak, saying a round of thank yous. He looks at her the way Daniel feels about Anahí, and it makes him smile.

“Everything that Rachel said.” Adam chuckles as his wife-to-be encourages him to speak. “No um… It means a lot to celebrate this love with all of you. In less than twenty-four hours I get to say I do.” 

Daniel watches Ana’s reaction, the way she looks up at the couple with adoration and awe. Her eyes twinkle, smile wide, and Daniel seems to fall for her even more. 

“I’ll save all the sappy stuff for tomorrow,” The groom says, holding up his glass of white wine. “But a toast. A toast to my girl, a toast to forever, and a toast that you all will find a love as great as ours. Cheers!”

A chorus of cheers are loud, everyone raising their glass before clinking with others. Daniel reaches his glass over the table and Anahí meets him halfway. 

Clink. “To everything he said,” Daniel chuckles, winking her way.

“To everything he said.” She smiles. 

Everyone turns in early for the night. Daniel feels a slight buzz from the wine, his giggly and touchy state giving him away. The pair couldn’t return to their hotel room without laughter and Daniel poking her. To onlookers, they look like a couple completely and utterly smitten with the other. But the assumption couldn’t have been more incorrect. The reality is that a boy loves a girl, and the girl has no fucking clue. 

Ana sits on her bed, watching as Daniel kicks off his shoes and rolls onto his bed. His shirt is wrinkled, untucked, staying closed with the grace of two buttons. She can see his toned, tan chest peeking from under the white material. Her cheeks are suddenly warm, and she turns away. She silently retreats to the bathroom to get ready for bed and effectively from Daniel. When she returns, Daniel is fast asleep with his trousers and button up on the floor next to his bed. She picks up after him before getting into her own bed, folding the clothes messily and placing them on his luggage. She shuts off the light, the room engulfed in darkness. It takes a moment for her eyes to adjust, but it isn’t long until she is able to trace his strong features with his gaze. He snores softly across from her, curls messily sprawled on his forehead. Her heart seems to follow the cadence of his breathing as she sinks deeper and deeper into her thoughts. 

The idea of saying goodbye to this type of peace scares her, and she can’t help the tears already springing in her eyes. She misses him already. There is a tightness that grows in her chest, and soon she is crying softly in her bed. Not nearly as quiet as she thought, however. She isn’t sure when and how but Daniel tiredly rolls in right next to her, arms pulling her close to him as he shushes her gently. He doesn’t say anything, just allows her to cry softly until they both fall asleep. There were so many unspoken thoughts, both too afraid to admit to the obvious. 

The next morning, it’s as if it never happened. They wake up just after ten, wrapped up in the other, like it was the most natural thing in the world. But it wasn’t. Friends don’t hold each other the way they do, or look at the other as they are. Daniel pushes her hair away from her face, delicately as if she’d break. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” He asks, his thumb gently caressing her cheek as he holds her face.

She shakes her head. “No. I just wanna lay here for five more minutes if that's okay.”

He whispers okay, and she nuzzles her face into his bare chest. Daniel’s fingers weave their way through her hair, fingertips massaging her scalp tenderly. He’d give her all the time in the world, all she had to do was ask. 

True to her word, they only lay like that for five minutes before they’re both forced to get up and begin their day. The wedding isn’t for another couple of hours, but there is still a lot to do between now and then. They order a room service breakfast, Daniel throwing on a movie to pass the time as they eat. They watch the Parent Trap in full before they finally begin to get ready. 

Daniel slips on black trousers and an emerald green button up, making sure to button it all the way up. He slips on his white sneakers before tapping on the bathroom door. “Hey, sorry. I need my gel for my curls when you're done.” 

The door is pulled open, and once again Daniel is at a loss of words. Just as she did the day before, she knocks the wind out of his lungs. She is in a strapless, floor length dress in emerald green to match him. The top half is tight, hugging her body until it drops just at the top of her thigh. Her left thigh pokes out of the slit, taunting Daniel. She looks glorious, down right fucking gorgeous and Daniel didn’t know what to do with himself. 

“You look beautiful,” Daniel admits, smiling widely. 

“Thank you, you don’t look too bad yourself.” She winks, stepping aside. “I’m about done, just lipstick. But you can come in.” 

He nods, moving over to his side of the bathroom. Daniel makes quick work of his curls, twirling them around his index finger until they look more put together. Ana watches him through the mirror, admiring the way he concentrates on his hair. His tongue peeks out between his lips as his eyes concentrate on the curls framing his face. He shakes his head lightly, groaning softly. Without asking, Ana moves over to help. She steps between the counter and him, fingers splitting and tousling with his hair. He doesn’t look at her, instead choosing to watch his reflection. 

“Good?” She asks softly, hands retreating from his face. A smile grows on his face, nodding. “Good.” She confirms, smiling back. 

Daniel looks at his watch, “Alright, lipstick then we gotta go to the chapel.”

Anahí nods, holding up two tubes. “Pick.” Daniel taps one, and Ana opens the tube to reveal a striking red. The boy’s throat runs dry, watching as she paints her lip the vibrant color. “Alright,” she muses, “Ready.” 

Ana walks out of the bathroom, leaving Daniel behind as he stands there still mesmerized by her and the red lacquer painted on her lips. His imagination runs wild, and it isn’t until she is clearing her throat does Daniel finally move. He offers her his arm, which she gladly takes as they make their way down and to the car. The drive to the chapel is only ten minutes, and the parking lot is half full by the time they arrive. The chapel is buzzing with quiet conversation, all along the lines of how the day is finally here and how excited they all are. Daniel and Ana sit in the middle of the space, right by the aisle. 

Not a dry eye in the room. It’s how every wedding ceremony seems to go, and this is no exception. 

“Rachel,” Adam begins, “There were a million and one things that I wanted to say. A million and one things I wanted to write. But all one million and one things come back to the same conclusion, and it’s that I love you. That at the end of all this, when the sun sets, and the world goes to sleep, I will always love you. I promise that in all that I do, that it is in your best interest. That I will love you through all circumstances, love you as you grow with and beyond me. I can’t imagine my life without you in it, Rach. And I refuse to believe that there is a version of me without you. If there’s something I’m most sure of in this life, it’s that you were always meant to be in it. I love you Rachel. I can’t wait for the rest of forever with you.”

Daniel can feel Ana’s head resting on his shoulder and hear her soft sniffles as the priest carries on with the ceremony. Adam’s words settle in Daniel’s heart, making a home there with all his thoughts of the woman next to him. He looks down at the woman who rests on him, her eyes focused on the couple in front of them. The whole room seems to focus on the couple prevailing their love in front of the whole world, except Daniel. All Daniel can think of is her. If there’s something I’m most sure of in this life, it’s that you were always meant to be in it.

The same words play over and over in Anahí’s head. And as her head rests on his shoulder, she feels like she’s where she’s meant to be. Through all the heartache and tears, the late nights and strolls in the park, she finally feels like she belongs. There is a feeling of safety, of home. That very moment, with her head on his shoulder, felt more natural than anything in the world.

The room erupting in cheers tears the both of them away from their thoughts, and his eyes look up to see the couple securing forever with a kiss. Daniel jumps to his feet to join the rest of the room, cheering loudly for the newlyweds. Screams and applause are heard from every corner as the crowd watches the couple walk to the end of the aisle. The two look up at each other, smiles as wide as the Cheshire cat. 

The reception is as grand as the ceremony. Decorated with flowers and pompas, the lights are dim and romantic. The setting is just right to fall in love. Dinner is served, and not without alcohol. It isn’t long until both Daniel and Ana are elbow deep in cocktails, a laughing mess as they talk about what friends talk about. They’re surrounded by friends, by people who love the couple as much as they do, but they don’t seem to matter. In a room meant to be in adoration of newly weds, Daniel was only in awe of her. He’s captivated by her flushed cheeks, long lashes, and plump red lips. He’s smitten with the way her hand feels against him, how her touch seems to linger more than necessary. 

The lights dim even further, the room nearly pink from the lights. The emcee encourages the crowd to join the couple in a slow dance. 

“Anahí, will you do me the honor of dancing with me tonight?”

Daniel holds out his hand, a goofy grin on his face as he awaits her response. 

“I’d be delighted.”

Someday, when I'm awfully lowWhen the world is coldI will feel a glow just thinking of you And the way you look tonight

The Way You Look Tonight plays softly on the speaker as Daniel’s hands rest comfortably on the small of her back as hers are draped over his shoulders, fingers intertwined behind his neck. He sways her left and right, following the slow cadence of the song. Even in his tipsy stupor, he seems to move her just right, slow and sweet. 

Yes, you're lovely, with your smile so warm And your cheeks so soft There is nothing for me but to love you And the way you look tonight

The whole room dissolves. It’s just them and the soft music. No one mattered, not even the couple being celebrated. Daniel looks at Anahí, who looks up at him with such fondness and warmth. She looks up at him the way he feels about her. 

“What are you thinking of?” Daniel asks, hands squeezing her sides comfortingly.

With each word your tenderness grows Tearin' my fear apart

“I’m just so happy.” Ana admits, “I’m happy.” 

“The booze?” Daniel teases, but Ana shakes her head with a small laugh.

And that laugh wrinkles your nose Touches my foolish heart

“No, more than that. I’m just happy Dan, I really am. The happiest I’ve been.”

His hands slide from her hips to her hands, gently raising one of her arms to spin her around. Lovely, never, never change… keep that breathless charm. Daniel pulls her back against him, her hands pressed against his chest as he sways her again. 

Won't you please arrange it? 'Cause I love you. Daniel rests his forehead against hers, humming softly. Just the way you look tonight. 

“I’m happy too, angel.” 

The moment is too perfect to pass, and so Daniel does what he’s always dreamed of. There is a burst of confidence, and he doesn’t know if it’s the alcohol in his system or the fact that it simply felt right. So he kisses her. 

Her lips are slow, soft against his. His hands grip her tighter as his lips mold onto hers lovingly. His heart is beating hard against his ribs, he swears she can feel it. Ana’s fingers are at the back of his head, pulling him even closer. There is a bit of desperation between the two, the need to be close and to be completely wrapped up in the other. Daniel is the first to pull back, breathing deeply as he searches Ana’s eyes for any sign of regret. 

But she just stares back at him with fire in her eyes, and Daniel can feel the blood rushing to his groin. Ana cups his face, thumb swiping over her lips to remove the red residue. 

“Take me home.” 

Daniel didn’t need to be told twice as he practically drags the girl out of the crowd. They pile into the back of a taxi, hands unable to release the other as they kiss feverishly. This kiss is different from the first one. It’s needier, much more desperate, with teeth clashing and hands grabbing. She was halfway on top of him, with her leg slung over his lap and his hands gripping her ass. The driver taps on Daniel’s leg at the end of their drive, trying to signal them that they’ve arrived at their destination. Daniel hands him more than enough for the fare and tip, not bothering to take the change as the two stumble to the elevator. They’re laughing and stumbling, hands grasping for the other. And as the elevator door closes, her lips are back on his own. 

The elevator dings just three floors short of theirs, and Ana quickly steps away from the kiss. She stands next to him as another couple joins them. As natural as they tried to act, it was clearly obvious what the two were up to. Red lipstick is smeared on Daniel’s face and neck, and Anahí’s lip line is no longer crisp. But they didn’t care. Daniel grins over at Ana, who smiles in return. 

The elevator finally makes it to their floor, and the two are quick to make it to the room. Ana attaches her lips to Daniel as soon as he shuts the door, her fingers quickly undoing the buttons of his shirt. He guides her all the way to the bed, just stopping at the foot of it. Daniel cups her face, pulling away from the kiss. 

“Ana, are you sure?”

They both pant, staring deep into each other's eyes. Daniel looks again, searching for any sign of hesitation. He looked for a reason to stop. But Ana’s fingers never stopped undoing the buttons on his shirt, pulling it from the waistband of his pants before pushing it off his shoulders. She looks down at his toned torso, fingers tracing the dips and tops of his muscles. Her fingers move to hook around the belt loop of his pants, but Daniel grabs her wrist to stop her. 

“Ana,” Daniel strains, dipping his head to meet her eyes.

“Yes Daniel. I’m sure.” 

He doesn’t wait any longer, kissing her like his life depends on it. His fingers pull on the zipper of her dress, listening as the fabric drops to the floor. He lays her down gently, lips moving along her jaw and down her neck. Her soft moans and whimpers are music to Daniel’s ears, and he craves to hear them more. He looks up at her, admiring the way her eyes are closed and lips agape as she soaks in his touch. Slowly, he pulls her underwear down her soft legs, but not without leaving kisses in its path. 

Anahí savors the feeling of his soft lips on the innermost part of her thigh, the way his stubble pokes at her skin softly. Anticipation builds in the pit of her stomach as he kisses closer and closer. But then he stops. She lifts her head, looking as Daniel stares at her center with a small smirk. 

“Pretty fucking pussy.” 

She moans at his compliment, biting down on her bottom lip. Daniel runs his middle and ring finger through her folds, honey brown eyes meeting hers as he plunges them into her. Her breath hitches in her throat, head falling back onto the bed as he pumps his fingers slowly. He wants to tease her, to pull her closer and closer to the edge but never let her finish. He wants to see her melt in his hands. But that’s all in due time.

For now he wants to love her. To make her feel good. Tonight, it’s all about her.

His lips wrap around the bundle of nerves, sucking softly before allowing his tongue to trace figure-eights all along it. Ana’s moans grow louder and louder, her fingers finding their way to his curls. He groans softly at her soft grip, the gentle tugging as if to beg him for more. He obliges, eating her out like it was her last meal. The sound of his tongue against her and fingers fucking her sound obscene, but they make Ana yearn for more. 

There’s a bubble growing in the pit of her stomach, growing larger and larger as Daniel adds urgency to his movements. Her pussy clenches around his digits, letting him know she’s close. He pulls away briefly. 

“Look at me angel, keep your eyes on me.”

Her eyes pop open, watching as Daniel places his lips back on her core. Daniel’s free hand reaches up to grab her breast, massaging and playing with her. Her eyes focus on the rose, how pretty it looks against her. His tongue is back against her clit, lips sucking and nibbling softly. She pants as the bubble continues to grow, her release right there. There’s something attractive, something downright sinful, about the way Daniel looks between her legs. His hair in disarray thanks to her, with his eyes boring into hers as he pulls her closer to an orgasm. The sight alone is enough to have her dripping. 

He hums against her, “C’mon angel.” 

Between his tongue and fingers, she finally succumbs to it all. Her legs squeeze Daniel’s head as he laps up her release, milking her until she’s done and begging for him to stop. 

Daniel releases her, chin glistening with her slick as he climbs back up to kiss her. She moans softly against him, hands trailing down from her face to his chest, gently pushing her up. Daniel kneels above her, knees on either side of her. He looks angelic, hair standing and features soft as he looks down upon her. Ana sits up, her fingers undoing his belt and pants, pulling it just under his bum. She kisses his cock over his underwear before palming him softly. She watches as he throws his head back, enjoying the feeling of her gentle touches on the most sensitive part of his body. 

Ana doesn’t spend too much time teasing him. She pulls his boxers down his legs, watching as his cock springs up. She looks up at him through her lashes, fingers wrapping around his shaft to pump him softly. Daniel’s eyes meet hers, enamored by the innocence on her face contrasting her sinful movements. With doe eyes, she leans forward and takes him into her mouth. She never stops looking into his honey eyes as she bobs her head, taking more of him until he hits the back of her throat. Moans bubble up from his throat as she sucks him off, harder and harder. He cups her chin, pulling his cock out of her mouth. She looks up at him, confused. Her lips are glistening with spit, red lipstick smeared everywhere. 

He could’ve cum right then and there. 

Daniel climbs off her, pulling his pants and underwear down to his ankles before stepping out of them. He takes his place back between her legs, lips attaching to hers in desperation. He kisses her, hard. He pours his heart into the kiss. Every thought, every wish, every feeling he’s ever felt is poured into that one kiss. 

“Daniel,” She breathes, “Please.”

“Please what, angel?” Daniel mumbles, kissing her neck softly. 

“Fuck me.” Daniel moans against her skin, breathing hard, “Please Daniel.” 

He gives in to her begging, hands wrapping around her shaft as he rubs the head of his cock against her wet center before finally pushing into her. Ana’s moans are loud, high pitched, and needy. Daniel watches the pleasure washing over her face with every stroke, her chest rising and falling. He leans down to kiss her again, his hips never stopping. She feels every inch of him, the way it fills her up and sends pulses of pleasure through her body. 

“You were made for me.” He confesses, hips moving faster against her own. 

“All for you.” She confirms, fingers between his curls. 

He fucks her nice and sweet, pulling her all the way to her orgasm. He fucks her until she is shaking beneath him, his name rolling off her tongue in desperate cries. Her pussy pulsates around him, hugging him tightly until he releases into her. 

The moments after are soft, gentle. Daniel kisses her so softly, so lovingly. He holds her tenderly, looking down at her tired state. Her head is on his chest, arm slung over his torso. Daniel presses a kiss onto her forehead before finally falling asleep. 

Unbeknownst to him, Anahí is wide awake, the feeling of bliss and completeness beginning to wear off. Daniel is sound asleep beneath her, but his soft breathing isn’t enough to calm her down. It’s far too real now, everything between her and Dan. For the longest time they teetered on the line of friendship and something more and now it’s real. It sends her into a panic.

Just because it’s real, doesn’t mean that it changes anything. It doesn’t change that she leaves in a month. In less than thirty days, she has to say goodbye. She will no longer say goodbye to her best friend, but to someone more. She cries softly, removing herself from Daniel’s embrace. He doesn’t stir, not like the night before. He’s still asleep, dreaming of happier things. Happier than the things she was about to do. 

She pulls herself together, packing her things slowly and quietly as Daniel sleeps soundly. And when all is said and done, she looks down at the boy sleeping in her bed. She pushes the curls from his forehead, pressing one kiss on the skin before leaving and never looking back. 

Daniel wakes up that morning, memories of the night before slowly coming back to him. He smiles to himself. But the happiness leaves as soon as it comes. It doesn’t take long for him to notice that she’s gone. All her belongings, every piece of her is gone. It sends Daniel into a panic, fingers quick to tap her name and call her. But Anahí doesn’t answer.

Anahí never answered any of his calls. He called once every day, but he would always be greeted by her voicemail. Daniel scoured his memory for the moment it went wrong, for any mistake he might’ve made. The best weekend of his life turned out to be the worst. After flying back from Spain, he immediately went into work mode. He did everything in his power to distract himself from his aching heart, to hide how hurt he was by her disappearance. And it showed in his work. His results in Silverstone and Austria were poor, and he struggled to prove to the world that he was still worthy of the sport. 

Daniel arrives back in Monte Carlo after a shabby P9 in Austria. His apartment is empty, eerily quiet. He flops onto his couch, lowering his pride once more when he taps her name. He rings, waiting for her stupid voicemail to greet him. But it never comes.

“Hello?”

The sound of her voice has Daniel shooting up, throat running dry. There’s an uncomfortable silence on the line before the Australian finally musters up the courage to speak.

“H-hi.” 

“Hi.” 

Silence again. Daniel hated this. He hates the discomfort, the feeling of not being able to be open and honest with the one person that mattered. He’s walking on eggshells, trying to carefully craft his next word. 

The first couple of days after Anahí had left, he was angry. He was so upset with her for not saying goodbye, no half-ass excuse for why she left him. He was upset at himself, for potentially fucking up the only good thing that has happened to him in a while. And as time withered by, his anger turned to sadness and confusion. Daniel often pondered their final night together, replaying all the moments of completeness and intimacy, trying to find the second it all went wrong. He imagined her face beneath him, the way her lips felt against her own, just trying to remember if there was a change at all.

“Dan-”

“Why’d you do it? Why’d you leave?”

“Daniel, I don't want to talk about this over the phone.”

“Then I’ll come over… or meet you in the park.” There is a deafening silence at the end of the line. “Ana?”

“I can’t.”

“You can’t or you won’t?” Daniel snaps.

“I can’t.” Ana insists, “I’m… I’m in Montana.” 

There is a little pot of anger sitting at the base of his being, every word she says igniting the flame bigger and bigger. He feels himself beginning to boil over.

“You left?” 

Daniel leans back against the couch, chest heaving as he tries to contain his emotions. Everything he felt in the last three weeks swirls inside of him. It makes him sick. He can’t seem to focus on one thing, and can slowly feel himself slipping from his self-control.

“I… I needed to. Daniel, you knew this.”

“Yeah but you didn’t bother to say bye? No half ass text to let me know?”

“I don’t have to keep you updated on my every move.” Ana argues.

“No, but after the night we shared I would hope you would have the courtesy to anyway.” 

Daniel feels insane. He feels like every single emotion he’s feeling is misplaced. The world around him slows to a halt, and not in a good way. For a moment he is frozen in his despair, time and space keep him in a place of self-loathing and loneliness. For just a moment, the world keeps him miserable. 

“What did I do wrong?” Daniel whispers, “Just tell me how I can fix it.”

“There’s nothing to fix.” 

“Nothing?!” Daniel yells into the phone. “Nothing Anahí? Are you being fucking serious?”

“Daniel what’s done is done, and there isn’t anything you or I can do to change it. The damage has been done.”

“Damage?” Daniel scoffs, “That’s what that night was, damaging? Ruined you, did it?” The line is quiet at the other end and Daniel shakes his head. “That night was more than that to me Ana. It was more than nothing.” 

The Australian can’t see the tears streaming down Anahí’s face, the way her body shakes as she cries silently, unable to say the words Daniel longed to hear. Unable to give him everything he wanted.

“You know what I think it is Anahí?” Daniel begins again, “I think that you’re afraid. That you’re afraid to trust me, to open yourself up to me completely. I think that you’re afraid to admit that you like me, maybe even love me.” 

“Daniel-”

“Because I love you. I do. I tried to show you how much I do and yet… you walk out on me. You fed my ego because it benefited you. You kept me in, made me believe that I had a chance, that maybe you feel the same way I do. But then you get what you want and leave me to pick up the pieces. I’m in love with you Ana, you had to have known. You couldn’t have been so fucking naive and not have seen that.” 

Another deafening silence. There it is, out in the open. Three words slipped from Daniel’s lips in a fit of anger. His words are laced with spite, venomous as they travel from one end of the line to the other. 

“Daniel,” She chokes, “I’m so sorry.” 

“Yeah. Me too Ana.” He can hear her soft cries this time, each sniffle and sob picking apart at his heart. But the anger inside him consumes him. “I’m so sorry for wanting more. For expecting more. For wishing for more.” 

“Daniel I-”

“I have to go.” Daniel cuts her off. “I hope that Montana treats you well. And that… that maybe you’ll find someone worth sticking around for. Bye Ana.”

He hangs up before he can listen to any more of her pleas. He drops his phone next to him, hands returning to his face as he cries softly. His heart falls apart, shatters beneath his ribs. 

Pathetic. He feels downright, fucking pathetic.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

taglist: @sluts-inc @sidcrosbyspuck @coffeehurricanes @miniminescapist @amsofftrack @kodzubear @melancholyy-scorpio @strawberrypaul @starxqt @somanyfandomsbruh @allisonxf1 @buenadiabebeta @ohthemisssery @ellethewitchbitch @charlewiss

[eldrbraus]

TWISTED WONDERLAND BOOK 7 CHAPTER 2 SPOILERS. (summary, kinda. dont trust me a lot on literal translations its more of a general summary and i could be wrong with some things. also its kind of live reaction so. yeah. this shit is long btw. too much lore.)

no spoilers in tags, but beware that i will be spoiling the whole chapter for people who cant wait for the full translation/people who cant read it

we begin.

>lilia is asking malleus to use the dorm for a “im going away lol” party that apparently the whole dorm is organizing??? damn lilia way to make malleus sad lmao

>MALLEUS IS INVITED!!!!!!! HES INVITED HE GOT AN INVITATION AND EVERYTHING!!! SOBS. he even accepts it this is a glorious day for dragonchan

>uhhh something i dont fully understand but goes along the lines of malleus.. had gao gao kun.. FOR 17 YEARS??? AND WHEN SOMETHING HAPPENED TO THE TOY HE WOULD GO TO LILIAS HOUSE FOR HIM TO HELP HIM??? omg thats so fucking cute help

>basically more talk about how time goes away way too fast for malleus

>lilia comments how the more time you spend with someone the harder it is to say goodbye (bestie arent you going away like too easily then? sus.)

>lilia left and OOP. MORE MALLEUS BLOT. NOT GOOD. malmal is very confused??

>lilia goodbye party already??? wtf thats fast

>so apparently every single character is going to be here (almost...)

>hmh where the fuck is malleus? lol what

>trey says something along the lines of lilia having a hmmmmmm unique??? way of cooking LMAO. lilia thanks trey for his cooking advice (YOU DIDNT LISTEN EVEN ONCE WHAT THE FUCK LILIAAA)

>cater....... hes so sad about lilia leaving the music club :((( he thanks lilia for being friends and they take a pic together waaaaa ;;

>lmao leona appeared and lilia is teasing him so much bcs leona is glad to not see lilia again

>LEONA WANTS TO LEAVE BUT RUGGIE SAID “NO??? THIS IS FREE FOOD??? R U DUMB” HELP

>octavinelle time! lilia basically gives all of them advice (azul dont be too greedy or it will kill you wwwww)

>floyd says something like “why are you leaving actually” and lilia says something along the lines of “i dont want you to see the ?? me?” the what you i didnt understand that part what are you hiding little bitch

>KALIM BASICALLY SAID THAT IF LILIA GOES TO HIS COUNTRY HE WOULD HAVE VIP TREATMENT FROM HIS FAMILY HELLO? and jamil comments how kalim wanted to gift him an instrument but they needed a TRUCK TO MOVE IT???? tf were you giving him, an organ?

>now to pomefiore, vil comments how malleus restored his beauty at the end of book 6 and wonders if they can do a magic transfer (?) of the same type to lilia and he says nah

>BECAUSE HES JUST OLD

>pomefiore is like ? arent you the same age as us

>LORE BOMBSHELL, LILIA SAYS HES ALMOST 700 YEARS OLD??????? (way less than i expected?? lol)

>LMAO THEYRE SO SURPRISED. rook asked if malleus is as old as lilia and lilia said that malleus is younger??? or that hes as old as them??? i didnt get that very well but something along the lines of malleus being way younger than lilia basically

>lilias family members are supposed to reach 1000 years old but apparently lilia was to eager? well not that, like he fucked up by playing too many games and that somehow made him old very fast? what (i think this might be a misstranslation help because it doesnt make a lot of sense. but something along the lines of lilia being 700 or so and his family being much older usually but him not reaching that age)

>cant remember exactly where it was but lilia also coments about how the dragons usually live much longer and that 1000 years for them is like peak maturity, when they become adults

>IDIA IS CRYING BECAUSE HIS GAMER FRIEND IS RETIRING FROM GAMING BUT HE WONT FUCKING CONNECT THE DOTS AND REALIZE ITS LILIA LMAO

>HE FORGOT TO ASK HIM HIS CONTACTS HELPPPPP

>also apparently him and lilia were their own best and first friends in online games?

>oh malleus and silver time! theyre in the main road to the main building 

>malleus is throwing a mild tantrum (?) and he made snow??? apparently

>silver fucking crying because he wasnt able to do anything for his dad bruh malleus feels the same

>more malleus blot?? what the fuck thats fast

>UH OH MALLEUS HAS AN IDEA. that cant be good.

>back to the party, first years time

>basically all thank lilia for everything

>i think ortho knows about lilia and idia being gamer friends but wont tell them??? he just said that idia didnt want to come and hands lilia a list of everything idia is playing (and lilia is surpised because most of the games are the same BUT HE WONT REALIZE) so maybe they can play a match before he retires i guess???? theyre so close to finding out but they wont fucking do it im going insane

>idia didnt come to the aprty btw he is the only character that is not there because he was mourning his friend quitting the game lmao

>lilia thanks yuu once again for being friends with malleus?

>HUH? A DREAM???? BUT YUU IS NOT ASLEEP TF

>yuu asks lilia if they can do anything for him and lilia asks the first years to be friends with sebek because poor croc hasnt made a single friend rip

>lilia apologized for sebeks behaviour bcs ace i believe said that he was so rude and said to sebek to behave but sebek.... refuses? lol

>LILIA IS GOING ALREADY AND MALLEUS AND SILVER ARE NOT BACK YET STOP.

>apparently lilias card for nrc arrived 500 years ago but he didnt care back then? so when malleus received his much later he went along with him (and he thanks crowley for letting him enter the school 500 years later lol)

>LILIA IS GOING

>MALLEUS AND SILVER ARRIVED ON TIME!

>malleus is really happy everyone is there

>??? the party said that no gift was needed but malleus is brining lilia a gift anyways, a “blessing”. uhhhh. 

>m. malleus is like way too happy about this. hes saying something along the lines of “today we dont celebrate an end but a beginning” uh. not good.

>this bitch is way too happy tf

>BASICALLY MALLEUS PLAN IS THE MUGEN TSUKUYOMI HELP?

>ORTHO IMMEDIATELY DETECTED BLOT RISING

>crowley is fucking alarmed and he lets everyone use their magic 

>malleus regular battle HE HAS 300K HP AND REGENS 60K EVERY SINGLE TURN??????? BASICALLY AN IMPOSSIBLE BATTLE LIKE THE FIRST BATTLE IN THE GAME AGAINST THE CHIMERA

>you will lose this battle

>lilia tried to make magic to stop him but says something like “this body cant even do magic like that anymore?!” tf you mean “this body” do you have other bodies like dottore or what

>everyone is scared shitless HUH

>lilia is now insulting malleus calling him a dumbass or smth and saying that he doesnt know what hes doing and malleus screams that hes doing this to not lose him HELP

>sebek and silver are trying to calm things down, it obviously doesnt work

>malleus says something about grabbing his hand??? scary

>he gave his blessing! its a long ass spell btw. i think his “blessing” is his unique magic

>DAMN THAT LILIA SCREAM

>MALLEUS FUCKING OVERBLOTS. ALREADY???

>THE WHOLE SCHOOL WAS COVERED IN THORNS AND EVERYONE FALLS ASLEEP???

>malleus saying something about 1000 years will pass very quick wtf

>”you will become the heroes of the story”? malmal says something like that

>AND NOW

>AND FUCKING NOW

>WE RETURN TO THE TWISTED WONDERLAND LOGO. THE ONE FROM THE BEGINNING OF THE GAME. WHILE MALLEUS HUMMS ONCE UPON A DREAM.

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT.

THE TIME LOOP THEORY? HUH?

[babiebom]

HATE THE TIME LORDS WTF

I’m watching the end of time (SPOILERS)

THEY SEEM LIKE SUCH ASSHOLES

Like knowing what we know about the timeless child and everything they’re the WORST

Like sorry to the tenth doctor I would’ve actually shot the time lord president without hesitation the second he said “you are diseased…be it a disease of our own creation” to the master

Like yeah I know he doesn’t kill the master but the whole pointing the gun at him I’m like ABSOLUTELY NOT

Like they actually made me feel bad for him…for BOTH of them. Like what do the time lord council do other than BE ASSHOLES? Given I haven’t seen original who idk what they do there but I DISLIKE THEM SO MUCH actually all they do is use people

I know he’s killed people and been an absolute menace and a monster but like :( they did this to him

Also I think it would’ve been really funny if everyone had his face but their normal bodies. So it’s the masters face and like tiddies if he was a woman or something. Like it’s literally just his face in their bodies instead of turning into him completely. Idk why it would be funnier to me.

Also him giving his life to save wilf makes me CRY like I’ve never seen the specials before bc I could never find where to watch them. Also this whole tantrum he’s throwing is throwing me off like BROTHER he honestly just saved someone and you’re throwing this tantrum IN FRONT OF HIM my feelings would be hurt but at the same time I understand because I too would throw a tantrum if I had to die

But maybe it’s bc I don’t really like hurting peoples feelings that I just would be like DAMN guess I’m gone then bc I wouldn’t like to hurt Wilfs feelings like when he says “you’re unimportant” like I KNOW he is just upset but PLEASE MY FEELINGS SIR.

Also THIS IS HOW IM FINDING OUT THIS IS HOW HE REGENERATES INTO ELEVEN???????????the website I watch these on DOESNT have any of the specials so I’ve had to go searching for them and WOWOWOWOWW

also I hate Martha and Mickey together I preferred her with the Milligan man. Like yes they’re cute together but I would’ve like her to stay with dude MISSGIRLPAYATTENTION nvm

He’s saving people?but in a sad way?

He’s staring at Jack??? Oh he’s hooking him up with someone OH ALONSY ALONSO OH

oh it’s miss nurse from the family of blood. I hate those episodes. WaS sHe hApPy iN tHe EnD? FUCK OFF

CUTE I DIDNT KNOW WE GOT TO SEE DONNA GET MARRIED OMFG

who is Heffery? Is that Donna’s dad? Bc if it is THATS SO CUTE BUT SAD?????THEY HADA WEDDING IN A GRAVEYARD?

oh it’s a church with a graveyard

Kinda poetic but OOF ghosties scare me also SAD BYEBYE FOCTOR

oh god it’s rose again

BUT ITS THE ORIGINAL ROSE I LOVE HER

THIS IS WHERE THE ICONIC GIF COMES FROM??????????

I FORGOT IT WAS 2005 IM LITERALLY 4 WHEN ALL THATS HAPPENING? (The first series I mean)

like it’s weird to think about where you would be in time in the universe during doctor who

Like I would literally be a child in Texas who probably missed EVERYTHING because who would destroy TEXAS? California I get but unless they realize how big Texas is they’d go for like Washington or something

AN OOD?

their faces are icky but they’re also cute? I love them except for when they’re evil <3

I also always read the Police public call Box as “police the box” and idky my brain is like NAUR the LETTERS ARE TOO CLOSE TOGETHER AND SMALLER IT MUST SAY THE???????

Goodbye ten I can’t believe that this is the first time I’m seeing him regenerate. I literally went through the entirety of nuwho and haven’t seen the Specials omfg. OH NAUR HE DOESNT WANNA GO PLS.

Omfg you destroy the tardis every time so rude HELLO ELEVEN MY LOVE HIS VOICE IS SO SQUEAKY I LOVE HIM

[zeephyre]

CR3 EPISODE 64 SPOILERS

(im probably missing a bunch of shit since the episode just ended and im sort of rambling)

i did an oopsie and stayed up till 1 am tonight to watch the bells hells reunion and while i don't regret it, now that the party has been split again, im so sad. i understood they couldn't have stayed but it was still so hard.

deanna and frida especially just... fit too well, and i really really fucking hope nothing bad happens to either of them because mentally i couldn't handle it.

laudna and ashton vying for attention with prism was really funny and accurate because I'd argue that she had more a connection with them both. she still had very good chemistry with orym, so it was funny to see her claim him as a bestie.

i FUCKING LOVE AABRIA SO DAMN MUCH SHE'S PERFECTION. it sucks we don't get to see more of deanna and everybody else bc she has such a good spirit and her chemistry with every single person at that table is unmatched. gonna miss her and chetney as horny but beautifully intimate lovers, and im gonna miss her and fcg bickering, and im gonna miss her and fearne flirting, AND im gonna miss her and imogen's sweet dynamic of faith and understanding and comfort, AND im gonna miss seeing her and frida's unbreakable bond.

christian was a gift like no other, and i almost started bawling when fcg and frida had to actually come to terms with saying goodbye. i hope that frida stays safe, and that nothing happens to fcg, and i want them to be together for a long long long LONG time. it's what they deserve.

fearne and ashton had some...vibes this episode and i dig it because it's more fuel for my poly bells hells harem agenda

IMOGEN AND LAUDNA'S REUNION GOD I WISH THEY'D GOTTEN A MOMENT ALONE BUT THE CHAOS AT THE TABLE WAS TOO GOOD!!!! i am so happy that deanna picked up on the imaudna vibes and did her best to make it known that she SEES their bond. she's just like me fr. i love my witches. (also, i was watching laura the whole time laudna was fawning over prism and it's very funny how jealous imogen gets and poorly hides it behind smiles).

i would have liked to see ashton and Deanna become even closer but sadly we cant always get what we want but what we do have is CRUMBS which i will devour with no second thought.

KEYLETH IS ALIVE ‼️‼️‼️‼️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ injured but not dead, thank GOD. honestly i don't even wanna think abt vax rn 😭😭 all we need now is confirmation of beau and caleb's whereabouts..

‼️‼️I NEED THE NEXT EPISODE NEOOOOWWWWWWW MATT MERCER ‼️‼️

[milgram-tournament]

MILGRAM Best Song Tournament, Round 1, Match 8 TRIAGE vs. I LOVE YOU

Propaganda for both options under the cut!

Propaganda for TRIAGE:

1. THE VOCALS!!!! TRIAGE REALLY GAVE A CHANCE TO LET SHIDOU'S VA SHINE BECAUSE HOLY SHIT!!! THAT FINAL CHORUS??? SO GOOD!!

2. SPEAKING OF THE FINAL CHORUS, THAT SLOWED DOWN PART???? STUNNING

3. THE LYRICS OH MY GOD I'M CRYING!!! "If the voices crying out in pain, can be saved by me Allow it to be my charge and mission"??? "I want to be INNOCENT, I want to live"??? PURE GOLD!!

3.25. OH AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE "extract that fang" LINE. IT'S SO GOOD!!!!

3.5. THE WAY THE LYRICS PERFECTLY REPRESENT HIS INTERNAL CONFLICT AND HIS ARC??? SO GOOD!!!

4. THE MV??? CATCH ME CRYING

To conclude: Triage is in my top 3 Milgram songs, I love it so much!! It turned Shidou from a character I didn't care about to one of my favorites!!!!!

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-The scene with Shidou and his family… yeah don’t talk to me I’m so emo about it.

-The arc Shidou goes through during the song?? It starts with “why did you vote me innocent I don’t deserve it” to “I’m going to do my best with what you’ve given me.” Is really cool and I don’t think it’s talked about enough!!

-The final “I want to live!” Enough said. Shidou’s voice in general just fits this song really well.

-It gives a really good motive for Shidou, and helps you feel sorry for him. (Easiest inno vote of my life!)

Propaganda for I LOVE YOU:

mappi’s spitting bars 🔥🔥🔥🗣️🗣️🗣️

ok but i, as the iloveyoucountdown person before it released, waited 89 days for ily and SHE DID NOT DISAPPOINT‼️‼️‼️🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥 go vote ily now bc its peak music

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the acoustic section where it just feels so raw and emotional it's crazy also we love to see mappi/miho okasaki rapping again and good lord mahiru delivered hadauwd, like you think about it a lot? like "Ishokujuu plus ai Miss you Raishuu aemasuka no Cadence Yurusarenai ikigai mou iki mo dekinai" it's also so catchy just "Dai- dai- dai- datte suki suki! Dai- dai- dai- datte daisuki."

it's such a quick song but it delivers and it DELIVERS WELL there's so much in the instrumental you can also miss, like sirens and such! again guitar section it's crazy!! i didn't even touch on the visuals, like the visuals are absolutely amazing and really touch on the toxic cycle of mahiru's relationship for example, the carousel turning into a forest! and also they were still able to implement some of tihtbilwy in the beginning of the song! we got to see mahiru's boyfriend as well!! additionally, RATS AND CAKE. HOLY SHIT we all know the absolute shock that appeared on everyone's faces the second that cake turned into a rat (to be honest, I was absolutely sick with shock for the rest of the day) It's really amazing as a song and MV, plus it did help give some more information on Mahiru!

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miho okasaki's vocals are so powerful. it sounds like mahiru is screaming because of not being forgiven and because of what happened to her boyfriend and because "she can't just do it right".

THE LYRICS ARE SO. "clothes food shelter + love and miss you"?? "my lethal weapon is how to be in love with you"?? "kiss goodbye to this feeling cuz it's too heavy"?? again, the "why can't i just do it right" line?? SO GOOD.

MAHIRU RAPPING. THIS SONG STARTS WITH HER RAPPING. LITERAL CHILLS

i've heard the i love you chorus once and now it's in my head forever. i wake up, i sing the i love you chorus. i go to sleep, i sing the i love you chorus.

the lyrics are so sad when you start thinking about them more. "saying i love you but doing what i did, i know i have no right, crossed and covered in sin"?? please, don't you want to give mappi a hug. please she deserves it. she needs it

the "DIE-suki" pun.

the mv is so. i can talk about it for hours. it literally starts with showing us what happened to her bf. i've watched it live, i knew about this part and i still was shocked. mahiru's boyfriend is dead. mahiru is also rapping. also, the lyrics. this scene is terrifying to me and i mean it in the best way possible.

the cake symbolism. mahiru refusing to accept her reality and the true nature of her relationship with her bf and still seeing everything around her as cute and soft and pink. her feeling guilty and not knowing how to express love properly and still choosing to continue to love in this way. i don't know, something about it is so.. it's so sad and so realistic and so heartbreaking

i love how we can say so much about her relationship with her boyfriend based on mv and the lyrics. this is more of a theory and i probably shouldn't talk about it but i like the fact that mappi and her bf's relationship wasn't just abusive or one-sided love or anything like that. it's like they loved each other, they just.. didn't know how to show it or express it in a healthy way (or maybe mahiru's bf did know, but he was okay with going through all of this for her). like this scene when they're both riding the carousel and looking happy at first and even when both of them look like a mess, mahiru's face expression is still pretty much the same while her boyfriend looks much more tired, but he's still smiling. something about that part breaks me.

the instrumental is so fun and chaotic and creepy please listen to it. all milgram instrumentals are great but ily instrumental is definitely one of my fav ones.