#but anyways thank god (what i think will be) my last art post for 2023 is not sae haha.

[jenoutof10]

reo doodles from @popponn 's reo blurb

* i forgot he wore a coat but by the time i reread it i was too far gone 😭 (creative liberties, they say)

[goron-king-darunia]

Eggtober 14th 2023

"Sticky": Tiger Skin Egg with Sauce.

(Clip Studio Paint, Gouache Brush, Gouache Blender, Airbrush tool. 10 colors, 45 minutes.)

Cripes, I almost forgot to post this one. Been a busy bee the last few days.

The first time I made this dish it was all going perfectly until it came time to caramelize the sauce. It goes from runny and thin to thick in what feels like 30 minutes and then from thick to CHARRED AND AWFUL in 0.5 seconds. I'm not a stranger to syrups and sugary sauces! Maybe it's the soy sauce that's dangerous because the color can't indicate early signs of caramelization that I can see? But I make brown sugar glazes for fruit all the time. And my standard stir fry sauce has soy, brown sugar, and gochujang in it, which are all dark, and I've never burnt those things. Anyway, first time I made these was a disaster. The eggs were overcooked because the sauce took too long to thicken and then I burnt it so it tasted terribly perfumey. But I remade the sauce by itself much more carefully later and it really is tasty! I just had an awful first attempt. Speaking of which, I need to do a proper study of craggly, crackly fried things. I can get away with a lot here because the rendering is a bit stylized and it's a shiny sauced egg, but trying to replicate that almost-breaded looking fried exterior from my reference was hard. I think we've established I'm fairly effective at drawing smooth things with all my shiny eggies of late but I need to learn how to draw coarser, rougher textures. Maybe more pencil tool next time.

Anyway, here's the speedpaint and the shoutouts. @lady-quen, Another gravity defying eggy for you to draw your precious brebbugs on. Take your time of course. The breadbugs need time to eat all the eggs they stole already!

Thanks as always to @quezify for all the inspiring fried eggy art.

Despite the unfamiliar textures being a challenge, it was fun. And of course I got to make it deliciously shiny. The speedpaint makes it all look so competent and deliberate and my ass is sitting here like "Past me has the competence of a god, or at least seems like it, but I know that bitch personally and I know for a fact there was internal screaming for part of it. "It's bumpy in the reference! There's texture there! But how do I do that? AUGH!" And then it turned out fine anyway, despite faffing around. Gotta get better at trusting my process and actually treating these as LEARNING experiences like last year. Self mantra of "It doesn't need to be perfect. It needs to be an egg. If it's hard, that mean's you're learning." Actively squash that little voice in my brain that doubts. Making art is about the making. The art is just a coincidence. It can be a product later if I decide so, but that's not the objective. The objective is to turn 1s and 0s and funny little lights on a funny little screen into things that look like eggs and manifest something that didn't exist anywhere before except my brain. No doubts, no stress. Only eggy. Plus at the end I can stare at past me making egg very fast like magic. I do like that part. Bless CSP for having a native timelapse capture feature. I just get to click a button and share with you all my magical process.

[onlyswan]

Hi art! ♡♡♡

I wanted to stop by to wish you a happy new year 🎆 and thank you for existing and for writing so many powerful stories. the small (but not that small hehe) community you've gathered on your blog feels very safe and loving and i like to think that's a product of the person who runs it.

you've given me hope that a type of love exists beyond the prominent common negative situations relationships can have that is prevalent today, and that maintaining a healthy and respectful relationship is attainable. (and never to settle. :D)

you are obviously a very beautiful person and i truly wish you find everything you hope for this coming year, and that love encompasses all aspects of your life because you deserve it. even if every day might not be a good day, hopefully, you will have peace and fun and the good will heavily outweigh the bad.

you're lovely and i feel lucky to have stumbled upon you and your blog this last year. i tend to stray away from having interactions with people online, but i feel like you're the type of person that everyone wants to know more about and be friends with so it was hard not to want to write to you hehe. (because i don't usually jump at the idea of online interactions and i've never written to an author before, i get a little scared sometimes that i sound crazy when i praise you so please tell me if i ever go overboard T^T)

i really appreciated your small new year's post and that you wrote it's ok to bring the past with you into the new year. i struggled a little this year, and i feel like in past years i always said i'd forget about it all. but this year i feel content holding all of 2023 with me and using the experience to grow and heal over the course of 2024. life is fragile but can also feel very intense, so having your writing after a long day and the rest of the good things i've been lucky enough to have, helped me to feel like it's all a little more worth it.

i've also just enjoyed reading all the interactions you've done with the asks and everything, so thank you for that and replying to me as well! i can't tell you how excited i was when i opened your master list and saw my little moon emoji right there ❀⸜(˶´ ˘ `˶)⸝❀

overall, thank you for everything this year, and wishing you the best for what's to come! also sorry i always write so much :') i'm definitely not the best at writing and wording things but i hope i'm at least able to get the idea across

i love you and all the sweet people who have written on this blog because oh my god it's so cute seeing all the anon emojis !!!

feels great to be a part of something so sweet (also highly enjoying watching the fight for oc right now, rooting for all the anons but also jk? i feel so bad, i might have to side with him 🤭)

anyway, that's it! happy 2024 and best wishes for this year~ ♡

-🌙

my lovely, lovely moon anonie 🥺 being greeted by the most heartwarming message after a long day is so comforting. thank you so much for the kind wishes; for recognizing the messages i try to send through my writings; and most importantly, for seeing me as a person through it all <3 i’m honored that despite not normally interacting online, you’re here with me in my little corner of the internet and you’ve taken the time to write this message 🥺 please don’t worry about going overboard at all bcs i appreciate you so much and i feel your sincerity <3 i hope you have the most wonderful year and you receive all your heart desires 🩵 i love you too!

also highly enjoying watching the fight for oc right now, rooting for all the anons but also jk? i feel so bad, i might have to side with him 🤭

lmaooo it’s been entertaining like this wasn’t in my bingo card at all 😭 omg jungkook we finally found you an ally !!!!!

[sleepsong]

i was tagged by @aleatoryw to post the top 10 songs from my on repeat! i’m gonna play a bit fast and loose with this prompt because i “don’t have spotify” but i DO have last fm so i will do my best. also i’m for the most part an albums listener so i will simply ignore the repeated album tracks and just pick the song i played most from whatever given album . ANYWAY

1. they’re cheap (i’m free) - skating polly. i’m for real obsessed with this song also this whole album. the narrator of this song is soo… pathetic maybe not quite the right word but yes girl scream at your husband to sleep with you instead of with prostitutes that is so slay

2. cops and robbers - underscores. there’s something addicting about this song i couldn’t tell you what. if you like weird pop punk about bank robberies give this one a spin

3. agnes martin - screaming females. the guitars on this song (and this whole album) are so so sick

4. bull believer - wednesday. YES my album of the year (so far). my dad’s review of the album: “very fun except for when she just screams sometimes”. well dad i think that part is fun too. he was definitely referring to this song in particular. but anyway if you like loud guitars, americana/country influences, and evocative lyrics check out the album rat saw god (2023) by wednesday

5. wetland walk - foyer red. a fun little weird whimsical song. who wants to go to the swamp with me (whole album is good quirky art rock/indie rock also)

6. the system only dreams in total darkness - the national. oh the national we’re really in it now

7. pawnshop - kara jackson. GREAT indie folk song. (great indie folk album!) i love the lyrics on this one which i guess shouldn’t be surprising bc fun fact kara jackson was the national youth poet laureate in 2019-2020!

8. identity - x-ray spex. when you see yourself does it make you scream!!! absolute travesty i didn’t start listening to x-ray spex until this year bc well! they are a classic for a reason!! this song and also this whole album rips i love punk music by women so much

9. i stole your jumper - eaves wilder. fun little indie pop song i enjoy it yes girl burn your ex’s sweater (will not say jumper because i am not british)

10. date with the night - yeah yeah yeahs. been getting into the yeah yeah yeahs back catalogue lately. shit slaps

thanks so much for tagging me !! i will tag @capyclub @possum-tooth @xgothiec @a-place-to-burn if you wanna. 👍

[violetlumin]

11/30/23

Hi all. This is just a little prologue for my last poem of November. It's a long one.

First, thank y'all for all the likes and follows. I honestly wasn't expecting any of this to be seen. I appreciate y'all joining me in this poem writing journey.

Today is the last day of November, and the last day of my challenge. Although I may not write a poem everyday anymore, I'll still try to write one when I feel inspired. Maybe every other day. Maybe every week. Not sure yet. However, I will be keeping this account active.

I also want to use this Tumblr to post some of my art. I've had a Wacom tablet collecting dust for years now, and I'd like to use it to finally make the stories I've cooked up in my head come to life.

Please enjoy my last poem. To be honest..... I'm not even sure if this counts as one? It's quite long, and actually the first one I wrote. I'd like to make edits, but figured I'd post it as is. I wrote it at around 2am. Bear with me.

Poem 30

Nov. 30, 2023

I grieve for people I have not yet lost

For tragedies that have not yet passed

For stories that have not yet closed

For pain that has yet to be realized

Hellbent on hurting myself before the universe has the opportunity

Maybe it's to soften the blow?

I’m simply grieving the inevitable, no?

If my fantasies are indeed more tragic that my realities

The latter cannot hurt me

If my mind can be more cruel than fate

I have nothing to fear

Night after night I dream of the worst scenarios

Obsess over what could go wrong

Fight peace

Sleep with ghosts

Weighed down by the things I’m too weak to tell you

Death looms over me

An adversary of my own construction

I’ve looked into death’s eyes

And saw nothing

Absolutely devoid of meaning

Of emotion

No love

No malice

Not as though it could distinguish the two, anyway

The thought itself is suffocating

I miss you but you’re still here

I loathe the thought of the world spinning in my absence

I may choke on my own thoughts

I’d hate to make you worry over nothing

But what if it’s not nothing this time?

What if it’s NOT nothing this time?

Your reassurance does nothing to quell my fears

It’s not rational

I know it’s not

Something awoke inside me that day

That simply cannot be put back to rest

So I lie with it

Night after night

Even our happy times are now tinged with sadness

I am consumed by the realization that this cannot last forever

That one night will be the last night you’ll rest beside me

That, try as I might, I can’t hold onto this forever

Is it selfish to ask you to stay here?

To stay chained to me forever?

To follow me for eternity?

To drown with me?

I desperately want you to make promises to me that you can’t keep

The small voice in the back of my head has become loud and incessant

I want you to have the peace I can’t seem to find

Truth is

I will never be satisfied

No matter the amount of time I cherish with you

I’ll be bitter over the time missed

Ten days

Ten years

Ten decades

It makes no difference to me

Anything less than an eternity is a slight

So I soak in my bitterness

Night after night

I ache thinking of what you’d do

If I left this realm before you

How your feeling for me may fade

How one day you’ll seldom think of me

How the void I left may one day be filled

How you may one day forget how I made you complete

How many true loves can you have in one lifetime?

For my own sake

I hope to God

It’s only one

May no one else ever pour into your well

I admit

I hope you suffer in my absence

I hope my memory consumes you

I hope my ghost haunts you

That our paths end at the same point

That you may never quite reach the peaks you did with me

That you can be content, but never truly happy again

That you carry me with you forever

That you act as if I’m still there

That you still love me

That you can never escape me

I don’t want you to love anyone else

The way you love me

How deranged, right?

Your love inspires me to be incredibly selfish

To want the worst for you

Because it works best for me

So I revel in my hateful thoughts

Night after night

Praying to none

That you never recognize

The darkness sat beside you

[raincoonparade]

Welcome!

First of all, let me introduce myself. Here's a list of basics you should know about me (cause, idk, don't want to add so much text):

Call me Rain, Scooter, Patch or Zuleyka... Miss Disfortune is also ok

I'm a graphic designer, illustrator and aspiring writer

She/they, 25yo, mexican

All my socials: missdisfortune.carrd

My commissions are ALWAYS OPEN

So are my asks here!

10 things to know me better

10 things to know me better (PT.2)

I know, it's like the fourth time I re-do my pinned post but, hopefully, this will be the last time... I'll add my OC list here so...

I'll edit this post constantly whenever I have new art, delete or add OCs

OCS & Fandoms full list! (April 2023):

Amphibia - Opal

Animaniacs - Zane

Art sona - Miss Disfortune

Ben 10: Omniverse - Skylar

Big Hero 6 - Oaklynn

Boku no Hero Academia - Aki, Flora, Ha-eun, Hoshiko, Itsuki, Journey, Serena, Tomomi, Toshiko, Ume, Yuna

Brand New Animal - Cassie, Robin

Cannon Busters - Yazmin

Carole & Tuesday - Kora

Coraline - Zarina

Craig of The Creek - Anayance, Barbara, Melisa, Quetzali, Scooter, Tara, Ula

CSI series - A.J

Dr. Stone - Chie

DuckTales 2017 - Alana, Cambri, Lafayette, Luoana, Taumny, Umbra, Xanthi

Encanto - Esmeralda

Fantasy/Ghibli OCs - Zephyrine & Minuette

Fairy Tail - Erandi, Luna

Food Wars (Shokugeki no soma) - Ginko

Free! Iwatobi Swim Club - Violet

Galatea (my personal project) - Aisha, Allastor, Allister, Arturo, Beetlepache, Chenzira, Cherry, Kalem, Nisha, Nitzia, Raymundo, Pandora

Gargoyles - Altea

Ghostbusters – Jackie

God of War – Adelphos, Amicia, Selene, Zeltzin

Goofysona - Blair, Oceana

Kaleido Star - Mirana

Kotaro lives alone - Vanna

Las leyendas Saga (Ánima Studios) - Iztli

Loonatics Unleashed – Hadley, Kit

Marvel - Donaji, H

Mexopolis media - Karina

Monster High - Jericho, Scooter, Winter

Monsters Inc. / University - Vesper

Music sona – Chia

My Little Pony - Fawn Spellbound, Mind Dusk, Pumpkin Moon, Sugar Sprinkles

No Straight Roads - Zohnette

One Piece - Ginger, Senki, Xaria, Preya, Yue

Over The Garden Wall & Infinity Train - Ollie

Rain (hard to explain where she from)

Percy Jackson and the Olympians – Nicte

Pokemon - Juliet, Patch

Puppetsonas - Ully, Ozzie

Radiant - Nahia

Ranma 1/2 - Gumi

Shaman King - Xia, Zaire

Shinbi: The Haunted House - Gumiho

Sing (Illumination movies) - Bia, Dawn

Sona - Scooter

Spiderman 2017 - Echo

Splatoon - Frizzy

Stardew Valley - Rain

Steven Universe - Moonstone, Yellow Amber

Tales of Arcadia – Metztli

Teen Titans - Aura, Calliope

Teen Wolf - Jack

The Amazing World of Gumball - Pumpela

The Legend of Hei/Spirit sona - Qiu

The Muppets - Nehru

The Umbrella Academy - Quetzal

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - 3n1d, Crystal, Draq, Frankie, Scooter, Tommy, Vivienne

Undertale - Willow

Victor y Valentino - Whisper (Jun)

Vocaloid - Dalia, Isabela

Young Justice - Liv, Razz

Yeah, I know... I have to redraw that... Anyway, just like you noticed, I have a LOT of OCs and, as surprising as it sounds, I DO USE THEM ALL! I doubt I'll ever take offers, though they're still in the works, I have all of them built and active (otherwise I wouldn't keep them) and I'm trying to work on their Toyhouse profiles as well...

Despite that, I actually have adoptables available! They can be found on Instagram too! If you're not interested on them but still want/can support me I also have a Ko-fi or you can donate directly to my PayPal! I know what you're thinking... Donate? As in for free? Well, if you want to, yes, but if you don't...

Like I said, my commissions are ALWAYS open! I only update the prices every now and then, sometimes do special discounts... You know how it is... For now, this ones will stay so... If you're interested:

"Don't want so much text" she says as she does a super long post... If you read all that... Thank you so much!

Also thanks for checking out my profile! I know I don't have much but random blabbering but I'm looking forward to change that soon enough, if you decide to stay... Here, have a cookie 🍪

Enjoy your stay! (if you do)

🎃 𝓝𝓸𝓬𝓽𝓾 𝓞𝓻𝓯𝓮𝓲 𝓐𝓾𝓭𝓮 𝓕𝓻𝓪𝓮𝓽𝓸𝓻 🎃

(Strive for your ideal place)

[janiklandre-blog]

Saturday, March 18, 2017

9:35 a.m.  cloudy, 34 or 35 - lonely computer room - though I am glad the loud Chinese are not here - I now only see Chinese - they are not lonely - once upon a time a woman by the name of Miriam Friedlander was the council woman for this area - rumors had it she had been a communist once upon a time - it was held against her that she kept an apartment on East 6th street - across the street from where I lived, that she had stopped using and lived on the upper East Side - many communists in their later yeasrs do like luxury and achieve luxury - still - I believe it is thanks to her that I have this here housing, at first = opened 1983 - filled with her buddies - a generation older than I - one of the 100 year old women on my floor did come here then and tells me the house was overrun by rats - well, it's in much better shape now. When I arrived in 2000 there still was Jane, a Friedlander left over? - who did have the power of assigning apartments - but - she was as they say, "on the take". I knew that and greatly regret among the many things they did not teach at Columbia was how to bribe - an art - I never learned. I told her the day I moved in I wanted a quiet apartment to the back - and had I only known how to grease her palm - she was relieved and the power taken from the manager to assign apartments - given to Donald Manning - who answered my earlier requests by "you are not eligible" - my last request he didn't even bother to answer.

I still know that Friedlander was replaced by Pagan whom everyone - or almost everyone - hated - after 20000 and the fire I stopped voting (now I reregistered)) - since then we had many managers here, can't even keep up with their names anymore, like the present one because she is casual - there now is a Chinese assitant - and, we have a Chinese council woman - and since, so I am told there are no old age faxcilities in China town -- they have taken over this house here. I've learned about the difference of Mandarin and Cantonese - Mandarin were the higher classes - Cantonese the lower I believe from Southern China - alas, they are very loud.

It is pitiful how little I know about China and Chinese history - alas cannot learn from my house mates, who talk to me in Chinese that I am much too old to learn. On the roof in the summer they form a large, loud circle and once there was a younger one - their children and grandchildren do visit them and come in fancy cars - I asked one of them: What are they talking about - without a moment's hesitation he said: Food.

I smile at them, they smile back, on warm mornings at 7 a.m. one of them teaches beautiful Tai Chi - it is wonderful exercise and they all will live to 100 or more - they also cook for each other and eat healthy food, in company - alas I did not have quite the patience for Tai Chi, also cannot do the moves - like standing on one leg, holding the other - besides I liked my Mocha routine - so while they exercise I sit in a cafffee and drink coffeee - of course they will outlive me - and as my friends say - God bless them.

Still, Miriam Friedlander had meant this house for people getting old in this here neighborhood - now harrassed to death by Trump's son in law among others - I already observed in the late 60's when I had the $92 floor through on the corner of 90th Street and 3rd Avenue (Christine Fiedler had scored two apartments - the landlord was emptying the house but correctly assumed we were young enough not to stay long) - then houses there were being emptied wholesale - many of the old were Irish, they had built the city - and many actually died when uprooted at an old age. This is New York.

I am not the only chronicler - and while other than eating in Chinese restaurants, using Chinese laundries - but wait: when I began substitute teaching at Stuyvesant high school, a public elite school that Robert Goldscheider attended once upon a time - graduating in 1945 - and witnessing countless tenements taken down to cxreat Stuuyvesant town and the development next to it - also massive evictions - anyway, thanks to a woman I tutored in German, Patricia, I had at long last gotten a TPD - temporary per diem licence, from the Board of education - she alerted me to the fact that things change - I had tried earlier to no avail - anyway, this licence enabled me to substitute teach  - also at that time a person at the schjool could call the substitute - I lived 10 blocks from the scjhool, got paid $100 a day for a few hours - alwaysa assigned to advanced placement science classes, the law required a licenced body in the classroom - and there already I met up with Chiinese - bright, eager kids, they studied and studied, totally ignored me - this sad old body in a corner. None of them ever tal;ked to me.

Then if course there were those times when the radicals idealized Mao Tse Tung - from the few Chinese who ever talked to me - usually in very poor English - I've heard only stories of sorrow about Mao Tse Tung. Also since I do little but read - I haver read some about China

And about my Chinese here I do find out tidbits when a younger one comes around - in good English - their parents owned a house, sold it, gave all their money in safe keeping to the bright young people, their social security is mostly minimal - just  as mine srtarted at $400 in 1994 - only based on my board of Education earnings - all my other jobs had been for non-profits not paying into social security, I never paid any attention - and so these Chines come here with "only income" - a low social security check -pay next to no rent and take advantasge of every last benefit there is - also I have watched them at any distribution of anything free - they take everything and then try to sell it. They are smart. Our social worker here has a Chinese and Puerto Rican parent - is fluid in three languages - the Chonese love herr - and she organizes "yard sales" - utterly amazing at what these "poor" people have to sell - all I can do is marvel at it all - yet, alas I do feel a bit lonely surrounded by people who are friendly, but talk to me in a language in which I do not understand one single word.

I've avoided traveling to countries where I did not understand the language - in Spain I understood little, but still, picking up a newspaper I could make out some - in Scandinavia I also understood very little - but a word here and there - and mostly I've stuck to .Germany, Austria, Czech Republic - on my trips to Europe - every five years in the 90's, 2000's - when I'd get a cheap flight, could get cheap coupons for the railroad that allowed me unlimited travel in a 24 hour period - and I only stayed with friends, Aachen, Bonn, Heidelberg, Zurich, Munich, Vienna, Ostrava, Prague, Nuernberg, sometimes Essen, sometimes Lausanne - it was a wonderful round trip, a bit exhausting, in most places I stayed only a few nights and after a while was not quite sure where I was waking up - and also - hard to remember all the names of children and grandchildren of my friends - I would make long notes in my address book - my last trip to Europe only a week with my grandson in 2012 to Berlin and Prague - and now I've grown too old and most of my friends have grown too old - and often I do think - I have an American passport valid until 2023, two credit cards, with I think an 18.000 dollar credit line - never used - never owed credit cards one cent - a driver's licence to be renewed in June - in theory I could hop into a taxi, say Kennedy airport and get on the next flight of my choice - and I do see young people doing just that - but I am too old.

I am sitting alone with the 14 computers - lamenting - dreaming still of that house and my community in that house - that will not include Chinese - not because I don't like Chinese - they now also have their boxes on the roof where they grow vegetables ansd insist on giving me some, and I doi like their smile - but while we do like in cities with diversity - while I have enjoyed friendships with people of very different backgrounds, and still do - there is this affinity - that Goethe talks of in his novel by the translated title: Elective affinities - Wahlverwandtschaften in German - relatives by choice - and where he postulates that humans are like chemical molecules that attract each other - and we speak of affinity groups - the Chinese stick together, they are an affinity group.

Goethe's novel speaks of how we like to live with people to whom we have affinity, sociologists study it (often I wish I had stasyed with sociology - I had a lot more affinity to it than the obscure German literature) - sociologists, and Goethe did too (German literature) - study relationships - as do psychologists - I've read a lot of psychology - and yes, a friend just called - it's so long that I have not cooked a dinner - because shared food tastes also create affinity.

Also, the computer is strongly suggesting I would do so much better writing this in word - if only I could overcome my inner resistance to learning things that so many call so simple - I am so grateful to Molly for posting this here - and when I wrote my 1000 page unedited memoir Ken had set up a computer for me where I wrote in word - I do feel like an old nincompoop  - well it's past 11 - I know I've written a hodge podge and probably make little sense - something just poopped up that said end process - so to yesterday - interesting session with Molly - reading, not enough moving - the Chinese never sit, always exeercise - few calls, some texting, eating too much sweet stuff to console myself - this morning back to the bean, talking to Dinah - and now - send - why this inner resistance to reading what I wrote and make corrections - thank you, thank you, thank you to the probably few of you - any? - who read this far   adios  Marianne