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ryttu3k · 5 months

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More Dark Urge questions by @daemon-in-my-head ! Previously - set 1 (post also links to previous question sets), sets 2-3.

Here, we have set 4, set 5, set 6, and set 7, because I procrastinated on these for so long that every time I got near the end, another post would appear!!

Content warning for all canon-typical Durge stuff, plus incestuous sexual harassment and mention of pregnancy in set 4, question 6.

Set 4

1. The song that describes you Durge best from your own perspective?

I Want To Live is more Astarion-coded than anything else, but honestly, it works great for a resist!Durge too (and it's a duet, and he's romancing Astarion so it can work for both of them simultaneously!) "There's more to do if we can only live"…

2. OK and now the song that your Durge would actually sing along to because they like it?

Probably something upbeat and bouncy? Pre-tadpole, it'd be the kind of… 'extreme violence set to cheerful/energetic music' vibe. Post-tadpole, it's a lot more genuine and optimistic, haha.

3. What was your Durge's dream before everything happened? What did they want to become? Did they want to stay with their family or did they strive to go adventuring?

Tavias is a people pleaser, deeply insecure, and needs to be needed and wanted, and Father Comes Before All, so his dream was honestly 'do whatever Bhaal wants of me'. It was the impetus for him originally pushing away his fairly justifiable horror at the Temple and cult, knowing that if he did well enough, maybe his true father would return and like him, and it continued to motivate him up until Orin's attack. His dream would have been to carry out Bhaal's plan of omnicide, although he did have a secret quiet desire that Gortash would be by his side the whole time, and that Gortash would be the very last life he took before his own.

If we're talking before he killed his foster parents, honestly, his main desire was to find somewhere where he belonged.

4. Did your Durge ever fulfill that dream or did the temple and cult get in the way? Did they simply discard it? Why?

I mean. In a way XD He assumed he had fulfilled his dream by finding the Temple, his ~true~ family. He actually does end up finding a place where he belongs post-tadpole, though - with Astarion, with Halsin, with Jaheira. With people who love him for himself, not his heritage ;_;

5. What does Durge think of family? Describe it with one word.

Messy.

6. Sarevok, what was his relationship with your Durge like? Did they like each other? Was it complicated?

They goddamn loathed each other. From Sarevok's perspective, when Tavias first comes to the Temple in 1472, there are only a few remaining Bhaalspawn - himself and Orin, Abdel, who famously disavowed Bhaal, and Veikang, who's been keeping quiet for all these years. Sarevok sees himself as the head of the Cult of Bhaal, and Orin as his heir (having already pit her against Helena two years earlier, and Orin being the survivor). Now there's this child, an outsider who knows nothing of the cult's ways, who's being positioned as the new leader - and worse, he's far more 'pure' than even Sarevok is, than even Orin, his bespoke Bhaalspawn grand/daughter, is. It was instant resentment.

On Tavias' part, he initially did want Sarevok to like him. Sarevok was kin. His older half-brother. He had always wanted older siblings, and now here was one who knew all about the strange place he had found himself in, only for Sarevok to dislike him? Very crushing. His disgust and dislike started growing as Sarevok made no secret (behind closed doors, of course, had to present themselves as a happy family to the cult!) of his own dislike, and definitely amped up as he learned about Orin's parentage - and Sarevok's plans to create an even more pure Bhaalspawn. Tavias was, at least, treated as a boy from the moment he arrived, but Sarevok was well aware that Tavias had the right anatomy to get pregnant, and pretty much… would try to convince him that the two of them would create the Ultimate Bhaalspawn.

Tavias was 16-17 at this point, more or less leading the cult on a daily basis after his successful murder spree, and, uh, had got very well-accustomed to using violence to solve all his problems. He told Sarevok that if he ever laid a hand on him (or the then-14-15-year-old Orin), Tavias would get revenge so violent and gory that even Bhaal would go, "Hmm, that may be a bit much", and more or less banished Sarevok just to running the Tribunal instead of the entire cult. By 1492, he thinks Sarevok is both washed-up and a disgusting old pervert who would be better off dead, and frankly, he's all too happy to kill his big brother when he finally returns.

7. Does your Durge know of Sarevok's past? What do they think about it?

He learns the 'official' version pretty early on, and all the messy details a few years in. It doesn't do much to improve his view on him, just reinforces the fact that he failed. In 1482, after Abdel and Veikang die and Bhaal returns, Tavias uses the fact that Sarevok's death wasn't required as evidence that his earlier resurrection around the time of the Crisis removed any essence of Bhaal from him; he was no longer relevant. It was just Tavias, and, less importantly, Orin (being only part Bhaalspawn), who would represent Bhaal in the future. Tavias was pureblooded, Tavias was the Slayer, Tavias had the Urge, Tavias was Chosen. Sarevok? He was yesterday's news.

8. Education in the Temple, what did it look like? Did they enjoy it?

Yeah, more or less! He had essentially four streams of education - a general education that any kid in Baldur's Gate would get, because Bhaal's heir would not be an uneducated hick. He was given Bhaal-specific education, about the history of the cult, of Bhaal, of the earlier crisis, and of other things relating to the gods. Technically, should Tavias had wished, he could have 100% qualified as a Cleric of Bhaal instead of a sorcerer. As it was, though, he was a sorcerer, and so learning to use his arcane abilities was the third stream; finally, he (and everyone else in the Temple) was given combat training, with a special focus on assassination and, uh, vivisection. He enjoyed it for the most part, although he's still not a fan of literature studies.

9. Did your Durge ever attend a gathering of High Society with Gortash? Did they fit in, did they charm their way into the upper echelon's heart or were they despised?

Oh yes, and he loved it. Tavias knew how to turn up the charm, even if he came across as… kind of disconcerting; on the other hand, the upper echelon was fairly used to 'disconcerting'. Lots of dirty secrets going around! But yes, he did take a lot of enjoyment in dressing up as the most beautiful person in the room and charming the pants off everyone. And if the occasional back-room murder happened, even better! :D

10. Ketheric Thorm's dream, reviving the dead. What did Durge think of it? Did they consider it a sacrilege as Ketheric wanted to reverse the death Durge so loved to sow, or could they understand the desire of wanting to reclaim a loved one?

He could vaguely understand it in abstract terms, but did not relate. By the time he met Ketheric, he had well and truly pushed aside any sentimentality, had been drinking the Bhaalist Kool-Aid for nearly two decades, and there was no one he thought would be better off alive than dead. His goal at this point was to murder the world, after all, and he genuinely believed the world would be better that way. The timeline is a little unclear on whether Isobel was resurrected before Tavias was attacked or not, but he definitely knew that the desire to bring her back was why Ketheric had turned to Myrkul, and also thought it was a stupid idea and a sign that Ketheric was a weak link in their plans.

Set 5

1. The Gate has more than just one cult dedicated to an evil aligned Deity. What does your Durge think about the Sharran Outpost establishing itself within their turf? Were there any sort of run-ins that escalated?

Honestly he just kind of takes it as a given that there are other cults and the like around the city, and the Sharrans aren't too close to the Temple. He doesn't like Sharrans - removing someone's memories when they could, say, be twisted and put towards murder instead seems like such a waste! - but he tolerates their presence (and, of course, they'll stay out of the Undercity if they know what's good for them :) ). For run-ins, I feel they would probably try to stay out of each other's ways, for the most part.

2. How did your Durge feel seeing the bodies of their brethren being ogled by the general populous in the Hall of Wonders? Disgust, pride, nothing?

A bit of disgust, if only because they're not being presented right, dammit. Museums set up a narrative with their exhibitions, whether intentionally or otherwise. Oh, some definitely try to be impartial, but every museum is going to go, okay, what story are we telling here? And they tell a story of Bhaalists as losers, Bhaalists as failures, Bhaalists as irrelevant, and - no. Bhaalists are very much on the rise again, thank you very much, and those bodies and relics should be displayed with care and pride, not as, "Look at this sad figure!"

3. Nine Fingers has dedicated herself to keeping peace between the warring underworld factions no matter the cost. What price did the Bhaalists require under Durge's leadership?

More or less the same as the Sharrans - try to stay out of each other's way. The Cult are more powerful and are backed by an actual deity (well, quasi-deity), but the Guild are far more numerous, and have their fingers - pun unintended - in far more pies. In a one-on-one conflict, a Bhaalist would win, but en masse, the Guild and their allies could probably do a fair bit of damage to the Temple. So they try and keep things… more or less chill. There's probably a bit of collaboration - if a Bhaalist needs some pressure put on someone in a more 'diplomatic' way than Bhaal would approve of, or if a Guild member needs someone disposed of but without the Guild itself being implicated, they could scratch each other's backs.

4. Speaking of Nine Fingers, what was your Durge's relationship with her like? Was it amicable or did they regularly come for each other's throat?

Yeah, amicable. Keene is a bit older than Tavias, and was a little surprised when he started openly leading the Cult when he was only in his teens, but hell, she was already doing Crimes at his age. So long as he's competent, no issue there.

5. The Zhent may follow Bane, but what did the Bhaalist leader think of them and their operations?

Useful at times. Pretty widespread, good contacts for smuggling in particular. He would let them use cult safehouses as drop spaces at times in exchange for a cut.

6. Mercenaries are a valued resource even for death cults and almost any significant operation in Faerûn. Did Durge ever hire any, and if so, what for?

Oh yeah, and similar to the kind of collaborations done with the Guild or Zhentarim. Sometimes, they'd identify a promising new member, send them on a test mission, and if they passed, they received an offer to join the cult. ('No' was not actually accepted. You become a cult member, or you become a murder victim.)

7. Did Durge have a last name? Why or why not and if they had any, where did they get it from? Was it self made or inherited?

Nope. In his childhood, he'd just use whatever his current foster family used, and after going to the Temple, it kind of… wasn't necessary. "Tavias who?" "…Tavias the HEIR OF MURDER??"

8. Does your Durge have a symbol of their own? What is it?

Ooh man haven't thought about it before but the Bhaal skull with added in dragon horns would be cool as hell.

9. Did your Durge have any familiars? Why or why not, and if yes, what were they?

Not unless Sceleritas counts!

10. Does a portrait of your Durge exist somewhere in Faerûn? How did it come to be?

Oh yes. Sarevok most likely had at least a few commissioned of the kids as they were growing up, and Tavias himself definitely had one commissioned in full regalia after Bhaal's return and being officially named Chosen.

Set 6

1. Durge flayed themselves at least once, why?

Sex, probably. Maybe as a pentinence thing? I feel he was quite willing to try Abdirak's methods because he was used to pain for pentinence and it just sort of… resonated. Alternatively, another way of communing with Bhaal? Taking himself to the brink of death or something.

2. What did they think when they wrote the Prayer down? Why was it so important for them to have a physical copy of it?

Kind of… a desperate attempt to get all his thoughts about Gortash out of his head, he'll do what he's told, he's a good boy, he really is. (It was a massive bit of downplay, saying he 'admired' Gortash. Tavias was in love with him, and if Gortash had asked if they could scrap their plans and leave their masters and make their own story, he would have been tempted.) He never ended up 'officially'. Uh. Submitting it? Praying it? Whatever, he wrote it down intended for Bhaal but had second thoughts and hid it in his room. It shows up in the colony solely because Orin found it there post-stabbing and brought it to Moonrise to taunt Gortash with, and left it in that room in the colony out of a moment of carelessness.

Gortash never ended up seeing it before Tavias found it again, recognised his own handwriting, and promptly had a panic attack at the implications.

3. Balthazar is an infamous necromancer and has extended his 'life' far beyond what should've been. What did Durge think of him?

The man has a sense of style, no doubt there, but Tavias doesn't like him at all personally. Necromancy certainly has its uses, but when it's used to prevent or even reverse death? Yeah that shit's not okay with Bhaal. He also got the impression that Balthazar personally thought little of him, and given how patronising Balth is about Tavias in his notes about Kressa's preoccupation with Tavias, he entirely correct.

4. The Warden hates Durge. Why? What did they do?

Swanned in like he owned the place. Mentioned offhandedly that if she wanted a professional to take care of the prisoners, he would be willing to give her a few pointers. Stared a little too intently at her.

5. The Worgs in Gortash's warehouse, what's the story behind them?

Just security, I think! I don't think Tavias was super involved in all of Gortash's plans, so he may not have even realised they were there.

6. Minsc is quite infamous, did Durge have a hand in the disappearance of his statue? Was it originally their plan or did Orin do something successfully by herself for once? How would your past life Durge react to it?

It was his idea, yeah. Minsc was a known enemy to Bhaalspawn, and he wanted to make sure he could get control of at least one possible obstacle by tadpoling him. If he had been able to find Jaheira, he would have done the same to her. Of course, Jaheira ends up adopting him and Minsc ends up his uncle, so… works out in the end!

7. If your pre-lobotomy Durge could say anything to your post-lobotomy Durge, what would it be?

I think he would be incredulous, but there's enough of the previously sweet kid there that there may also be a bit of envy. He'd openly be angry that post-lobotomy Tavias is rejecting his heritage and his gifts, but there'd be this underlay of, "Why can you do it, and I can't? Do I have to lose myself to be free?"

8. What was Durge's greatest nightmare?

Being cast aside by Bhaal, being told he was irrelevant and useless and unwanted.

9. What do they think of other deities? Especially those of their race or good aligned ones?

Ooh, answered this in an earlier post, will copypaste! "He thinks very little of Bane and Myrkul, considering them the weaker parts of the Dead Three. He has some passing interest in Mystra, although that becomes disgust and loathing after he befriends Gale, is a bit frightened of Lathander, doesn’t have a lot of consideration for Shar other than, “Well, she exists”, although he also ends up pretty disgusted by her after everything with Shadowheart, and is pretty sure Selûne would hate him on instinct but has no negative feelings towards her in return, and is really quite gratified when he’s able to help Aylin." Pre-lobotomy, it's pretty universally a combination of (somewhat performative) disgust and dismissal, and a bit of wariness / fear of those specifically opposed to Bhaal, especially Lathander, Tyr, and Helm.

10. Drizzt is quite famous in Faerûn. Did your Durge have an opinion on the man who betrayed his origins and rose to become a hero?

Drizzt is… a story figure, mostly. Like he knows he exists, but eh, so do a lot of people. Post-lobotomy, I think he'd be a bit more fascinated by him, I can just see him and Astarion starting a mini-bookclub, haha.

11. What would past Durge think of their new companions? Would they like, love, dislike or despise them?

Ooh, don't think he'd like them much XD;; He'd have some passing admiration for Lae'zel's willingness to FIGHT EVERYTHING, but Shadowheart is Suspicious(tm) as a cleric of a different god, Wyll and Karlach both seem too nice and good, and ditto Halsin but with added wariness, since Halsin is an Archdruid and over three hundred years older than him and not to be messed with (whereas he's pretty sure he'd be able to take Wyll and Karlach). He'd be more interested in Gale as a fellow Chosen, but see him more as a cautionary tale on why not to displease your deity or you'll be personally fucked over. I think he'd still find Astarion attractive, but more in a, "I think it would be hot to fuck someone who looks and feels like a corpse" kind of way XD;;

12. What does their handwriting look like?

Generally neat if he's taking time and effort, but when he's stressed, he writes too quickly and often blends letters together. It looks like that on the Prayer.

13. If they could have one modern thing in Faerûn, somehow through magical means or something, what would it be? Luxury toilet paper, a smartphone (no, charger or internet is not included), a history book for research perhaps?

Anxiolytic medication. :)

14. Shoes on or off in the temple? After all it is their home, so what’s their rule? Did they enforce it on others too?

Generally 'on' is advisable for most, given that it's… kind of gory underfoot. Heh. He does occasionally slip off his boots just to, er, enjoy the experience!

15. If they could rewind time to any moment of their choosing once, would they do it? And which moment would it be?

Ooh man rewinding is always a bitch. I feel he'd want to redo his first meeting with Bhaal and compose himself a bit better instead of getting a bit panicky and overwhelmed XD;; Post-lobotomy, obviously, he'd go back and make sure he never killed his foster parents…

Set 7

1. What is the worth of a single mortal life from the perspective of their former self?

"Only the value which snuffing it out gives to Father."

2. How does Durge actually view death? Is it a mercy, a gift, or perhaps just nature's course?

Bhaal's mandate. Something that people should embrace and welcome (be grateful when he murders you, dangit!), because the world is a shitshow and it'd be better off if everyone was dead, him included. Probably… probably fair to say that his views on death are a bit warped XD;;

3. What languages does Durge speak?

Mostly just the Baldurian dialect of Common, little bits of ritualistic Infernal, and a bit of Draconic. He can read and write in Espruar, although his pronunciation of Elvish is woeful (post-adventure, Astarion and Halsin help him out with it, and much to his delight, Halsin is also teaching him Wild Elvish).

4. How old are they when the game begins? Did their age affect them or how they view the other Chosen in any way?

31, although he looks more like early 20s due to his half-elven background. He's definitely the youngest of the Chosen - while Gortash is a reasonable 10-15 years older than him, he sees Ketheric as well and truly over the hill and an old relic who's no longer relevant.

5. What was their greatest display of self-control?

All the times over the last twenty years he hasn't killed Sarevok.

Seriously, if Bhaal had ever given him permission, Sarevok would have been a smear on the ground.

6. Did they ever lose control and what happened when they did?

Aside from one very specific time where he lost control and it ended up with him being eleven years old, holding a kitchen knife, and covered in his foster family's blood? XD;; Oooh yeah, several times. It usually ended with, well, a lot of smears on the ground. He more or less tried to 'ride the wave' and let Bhaal take the wheel, although he didn't absolutely love losing control. It was mostly a begrudging acceptance of, "Well, might as well happen."

7. Being divine and all that might have it side effects. Which one did your Durge have to endure? Did their immunity to poisons perhaps also meant they couldn't use potions or did they have a certain effect on people?

Pluses, +4 charisma modifier. Downsides, -1 strength modifier. Also if he had stayed Bhaal's Chosen he would have been functionally immortal.

8. If they could critique one thing about their father and get away scot-free, what would it be?

He has a few things to say about the downstairs anatomy he had been born with!! Also tbh he isn't entirely sure everything has to end in blood and murder. Like. Like can he maybe keep enough of a supply chain going for cinnamon rolls? Can he just kill, like, 99% of the world? Can he keep Enver alive?

9. Did Durge use utensils to eat or did they decide to embrace the old fashioned way Bhaal intended?

He has perfectly good manners when necessary! As a general rule, he only prefers being covered in the blood and viscera of his enemies, not, like, grease and crumbs from his dinner, y'know?

10. Speaking off, what's their diet like? Do they actually exclusively do the cannibalism bit or can they be convinced to eat normal food?

lmao definitely not exclusively cannibalism. He generally does eat like a normal person! Just that you have to ask pretty delicately just what meat is being served XD;; Has a definite sweet tooth. His favourite drink is Amnian dessert wine, his favourite foods are cinnamon rolls, and he loves fresh fruit, especially grapes. If you're having dessert with him, you're probably good to go!

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 spoilers #the dark urge #oc: tavias

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