#but heyyy... if you're curious on where I've been...

[vampyyrism]

clawing at the walls of my expense

falling into one of those funks again

losing schedules and physical presence

apologies in advance for not being the most publicly present :(

[shinkomiii]

i will find you in the next life, again and again, until we get it right.

and i will wait for you. every time.

---

heyyy! rising from the dead to start posting my art here in tumblr as well. i've been very into siuan sanche and siuanraine (from the wheel of time) lately... so have this one! if you're curious where else to find me and my art, visit my twitter or instagram! that's where i'm most 'active,' at least more active compared to tumblr LOL. art prints of this and my other siuanraine art are available in my inprnt shop <3

[mintedwitcher]

Heyyy! I’ve been reading some of your asks and you always give really well thought out responses so I thought I’d ask a question that I’ve been attacked for asking elsewhere!

I think you’re a fan of Tommy (?) I’m just curious what it is about him you like? Everytime I ask Tommy fans they get really defensive (which I get, as there are a lot of people who hate him and attack his fans) but I genuinely have no opinion on him.

I do have to say I’m definitely more partial to buddie when it comes to shipping (although I honestly am indifferent to whether or not they end up together) but this isn’t really a question related to buddie vs bucktommy.

I genuinely just don’t understand why people are so in love with Tommy’s character by himself when he has like 10 minutes of screen time, are people just fans of the ship? Does the actor have a big following idk about? Is a lot of it people who don’t like buddie, and just like Tommy out of spite?

I’d like to say I come from an indifferent perspective as I’m not actually active in the 9-1-1 fandom (I didn’t know it had a fandom until the network switch lol!) and am more of just a weekly watcher. So I was super surprised when he had such a huge following! To me personally he just felt like a good plot device to do stuff no one in the main cast was able (fly a helicopter and kiss buck lol).

I hope none of this sounds rude I honestly mean no hate to any fans of Tommy or Bucktommy!!!

I've been putting off answering this all day, I'm sorry.

First things first, let me be very clear. The reason Tommy fans get defensive when you ask why we like him is because you're using the same phrases as the people who have sent us death threats, CSA fics, and suicide bait for over a year. We have listened to those people endlessly claim that Tommy is "just a plot device" or that "he only has ten minutes of screen time" or that "people only like him because they hate Eddie". Just as you've done in this ask.

Now, I'm not saying you're one of those people, but you should be able to understand why we get so defensive after spending a year having to defend ourselves from the very worst of fandom.

With that out of the way, let me also add that I do not speak for anyone but myself in the rest of this post. So here's why I like him:

Tommy is funny. He has that dry, snarky sense of humour that appeals to me, as someone with the same type. His sarcasm and dry wit is enjoyable, and it's a good counterbalance to Buck's optimism. He's not a cynic, though. He's realistic, having lived a full life and learned that every action has its consequences.

Tommy is smart. He knows his own expectations and boundaries, and knows when and how to enforce them. He's intuitive. He's thoughtful. He chooses to take care of the people he loves, and gives his all to the task every time. He's resourceful, with a range of knowledge and the skills to back it up. He's not boastful, but confident in himself and his abilities. He's respectful and respected, both professionally and personally.

Tommy is kind. He, like Buck, is a fixer. He's mature enough to know, however, when there's something he can't fix; he sticks around all the same, though. He understands the importance of a support network, because he didn't have one. He wants for others something better than what he had, even though he might be envious or jealous of them having it when he couldn't. He's patient, knowing that discovering oneself is a long process, and one that can't be rushed without sacrificing safety, security, or happiness. He's willing to let himself be hurt in order to prevent others from feeling it.

Tommy is strong. Not just physically, but emotionally. He understands himself on a level that speaks to years of dedicated introspection and work. He's careful, not just with his words but with his actions. He's grounded, with a stable sense of self and an understanding of where he fits in the world. He's flawed, but he's learned from his mistakes and done everything in his power to atone for them. He's guarded, understanding his own weak spots and how to protect them.

Tommy is gentle. His size, stature, age, and blatant masculinity are all carefully considered when he engages with others. He knows when and how to soften his voice, to lower his shoulders, to make himself less intimidating, because he knows there are people who will make a snap decision about him based on how he presents. He knows exactly the image he projects, and he knows when it's safe to change that perception. He's thoughtful, again, of other people's comfort.

Tommy is selfish. He'll break his own heart now to spare himself the pain later. He's scared, because the life he's lived has taught him never to expect good things without the bad. He's a bitch, letting his face speak volumes even when he's completely silent. He's afraid of commitment. He desperately wants commitment. He's jealous. He's petty. He's lonely. He's alone, and doesn't want to be.

Tommy is so many things. He has experienced a hard life, but he hasn't let that life harden him. He puts his heart into everything he does, even though he guards it far more readily than Buck does. He values friendship, loyalty, and trust. He'll go to hell and back again, gladly, if it means protecting someone he cares about. He'll break the rules, the law, if it means someone he cares about can be saved.

He is a complicated, flawed, and deeply intriguing character. He is a study in contradiction. He is proof that anyone can change, if they just want to.

And none of this even touches on why I like him with Buck in particular, but that'll be another post, I think.

You might read all of this and ask yourself, where am I getting all of this? How can a character with only "ten minutes of screen time" provide this much? And to that, I would have to say, you haven't paid attention. He is a plot device, just as all characters are in a work of fiction, but his story is more than just his lines on screen. We met him first in the Begins episodes, where we watched as he evolved in the background. Sure, most people didn't pay attention then, either, but with his reintroduction, that evolution was cemented into canon.

What you need to understand, nonnie, is that a show like this is never going to hold your hand and tell you all of the character notes. They're shown to you, through character interactions and context clues. We know from Chimney Begins that Tommy and Chim became friends. We know from Hen Begins that Hen inspired Tommy. We know from Bobby Begins Again that Tommy made amends with both of them, and were friendly enough that they often went out drinking together after work. We know from Capsized that Tommy is still close enough with them both that Chimney still has Tommy's personal number, and that Hen still trusts him enough not to fight him even though he could blow the lid on her entire stealth attempt. We know from the rest of season seven and early season eight that Tommy desperately wants a family.

Everything that I've mentioned above is extrapolated from canon. Every character interaction, every line, every microexpression, every hint of body language, all of it. I analyse media for fun, and Tommy is by far one of my favourite characters to analyse.

That's why I like him. He's Tommy. It's really that simple.

[charmingly-helpless]

let's go home

A/N: heyyy... it's been a while (two years) since i've written something. life just got busy, but i hope you're all doing well. anyway, i've been rewatching criminal minds and got inspired to write this. i hope you like it!

pairing: season 6 Emily Prentiss x fem!Y/N

warnings: angst, toxic relationship, control issues, trust issues, canon character death, grief, (but everything is okay in the end)

word count: 2517

Read on AO3

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

"Where have you been?"

You dropped your bag to the floor and shrugged off your jacket, hanging it up.

"Out. How was work?"

Emily ignored your question, crossing her arms as she leaned against the wall, watching you with curious eyes.

"Out with who?"

"No one, Em. Am I not allowed to leave this apartment?" You sighed.

"You never just leave without telling me where you're going or who you're with, don't give me an attitude."

You roll your eyes, heading to the bedroom. Emily stopped you.

"You're not going to bed without telling me where you've been."

"Why does it matter? You've been at work. I just wanted to get some fresh air," you threw your hands up in slight frustration. "You leave every morning, and I don't question you. Why can't I do the same?"

"Because I don't trust you!" Emily raised her voice. She blocked off your path, glaring at you.

You narrowed your eyes, steeling your composure to not show that her words had hurt you.

"Why not? I'm your girlfriend."

"And that means I should trust you just because we are dating? You've given me plenty of reasons not to trust you."

"Like what?"

Emily placed her hands on her hips, standing up straighter. "You've been secretive, you're too friendly with other women, you're always on your phone, you hide things from me."

Rage bubbled inside your chest. "Do you think you're a saint, Emily? You are no different from me. How many times have I tried to ask you about your day, just for you to shut down? How many times have I been tossed aside while you prioritize your work? How many hours have I spent waiting for you to come home, worrying that you were shot dead when you'd really just fallen asleep at your desk?"

Emily flinched, surprised by seeing you so angry, and how true your words were.

"Y/N, that's different. i'm just... busy all the time, or have classified information..."

You felt tears sting in your eyes.

"I can't do this anymore," you whisper.

Emily froze in place at your words, watching you grab a duffle bag from the hallway closet.

"What?"

You swiftly moved to the bedroom, feeling Emily follow behind you. You started packing a few essentials, deciding that you would come back later for more things.

"You know what."

"You're leaving?"

"I don't think you're ready to be in a serious relationship, Em. I saw the signs from the start, but I overlooked them because I liked you. But I can't put up with all the secrets, the lying, and the distrust anymore. I'm your girlfriend; I trust you more than I trust anyone in the whole world, and it hurts that you don't feel the same about me."

You wiped your tears.

Emily took a step forward, feeling a surge of panic.

"Sweetheart, listen, it's not like that... I..." she faltered, unable to think of anything that would fix this situation.

You waited for Emily to continue, but her silence was enough of an answer. You zipped up your bag and walked over to Emily, giving her a soft kiss on her forehead.

"I love you, Em. But I can't stay here."

Emily's face briefly softened at your kiss, but her heart dropped as your departure started becoming very real.

"I-" Emily's voice cracked. "Can I talk to you? Please?"

You stopped by the door, considering your next words very carefully.

"I've given you so many chances to talk to me. If all it takes is for me to leave, then it's probably too late."

A wave of hurt crashed over Emily, even though she knew there was a truth to your words.

"I promise I'm ready to talk now."

You made the grave mistake to turn back, and one look at her sad brown eyes was convincing enough. Wordlessly, the two of you walked to the couch and sat down.

Emily took your hand, breathing a sigh of relief when you didn't pull away.

"I know I haven't been the best girlfriend over the past couple months, okay? I-I admit, I've been keeping some things from you, but you have to understand..."

"Understand what?" You voice was soft, but your tone harsh.

"Understand why I was keeping them from you, I just..." Emily sighed. "I was scared. Scared to tell you certain things."

You looked into her eyes. "Is something happening at work? Or is it something in our relationship?"

There was a moment of hesitation before Emily spoke.

"I-it's work-related, yes... and it's the reason I've been so... on edge."

"Does it have something to do with Ian Doyle?" You pieced together.

Emily froze, the name she never wanted you to know of coming out of your mouth.

"Where did you hear that?"

You sensed the anxiousness in her voice, and you knew you were treading on dangerous waters.

"I came home early one night, and I overheard you talking on the phone to someone. You sounded stressed out, I figured it had something to do with work."

Emily nodded slowly.

"I... H-how much of that did you hear?"

You shook your head, "Not much. Just a few names and details. 'Interpol', 'undercover', 'Lauren Reynolds.'"

Just hearing those words alone made Emily anxious.

"I need you to keep what you heard a secret, okay? Don't tell anyone, not even the team. Can you promise me that?"

"Yes, of course."

A wave of silence washed over the two of you. Emily fiddled with her fingers, but never took her eyes off yours.

"Emily, I don't have to worry about losing you, do I?"

Emily managed a small smile, holding your gaze for the longest time.

"No, you don't have to worry about that. I'm not going to let anything keep me away from you, Y/N. I promise."

It was like the storm clouds had finally parted, revealing a glimpse of blue skies above. For the first time in your year-long relationship, Emily had finally opened up to you about something.

You slowly moved in for a hug, giving Emily the chance to opt out if she wanted to. But she leaned into your embrace, hugging you with such intensity, as if you'd vanish if she let go of you. Emily had never been so scared to lose someone before, and she knew that she could never risk losing you ever again.

You were the first to break the silence.

"This can't happen again, Em. I need you to be honest and trust me. I value your feelings, and I don't want to lose you."

Emily nodded as you voiced her thoughts exactly.

"I know. I promise... There's, uh... one other thing I need to tell you about."

"What is it?" You pull away to look at her.

"I need to go somewhere tomorrow to deal with an issue from my Interpol days. I'm not sure how long I'll be gone..."

Emily stood up, walking over to the window and knelt down. She flipped up a floorboard, taking out a padded envelope.

"If I'm not back within a week, I want you to open this."

You took the envelope.

"What are you planning to do, Em?" your voice shook.

"It's just a precaution," Emily lied in order to not worry you. "There's a risk that comes with every mission I go on. I just want you to keep this for the future."

When you didn't reply, Emily took your hands into hers.

"I'm going to be fine."

You nodded, touching your forehead to Emily's.

"Will you stay? Come to bed with me?"

Emily's soft and vulnerable words sent an ache to your heart.

"Yeah."

The two of you settled into bed. You laid on your side, face to face with Emily. She leaned in to plant a kiss on your forehead, wrapping her arms protectively around you.

"I love you, Y/N.”

"I love you, too."

Long after you dozed off, Emily remained awake. She wanted to remember how your body molded perfectly against hers, the smell of your shampoo and how your hair tickled her nose, and how her heart beat differently when she was around you. She worried about how you would hold up if something happened to her. She tried to stay as still as possible to not disturb your sleep. After what felt like hours, she let sleep overcome her as well.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

The next day, you woke up to an empty bed. Emily had already left as she usually did, but this time it came with a heavy, lingering feeling. Of what, you weren't sure yet.

You sat up in bed and glanced at the alarm clock on Emily's bedside table, which told you that it was almost 12pm. You felt something on your forehead and you reached up to find it was a bright pink sticky note. You laughed, remembering how Emily used to leave notes stuck on your forehead if she woke up and left before you.

“Be home soon. I love you,” the note read in Emily’s cursive handwriting. You stuck it to the wall above your nightstand.

You had the day off from work, so you started your day of relaxation. A few hours later, a knock on the door jolted you out of your focus on a TV show you were binging. Your limbs protested as you stood up from the position you’ve been sitting in all day.

A familiar face stood behind the door.

“Andersen?”

Agent Andersen had a solemn expression on his face.

“Y/N, I regret to inform you that Agent Prentiss has been injured in the field. I’ve been sent by Agent Hotchner to bring you to the hospital.”

The world went silent as his words sunk in. This wasn’t the first time during your relationship that Emily had gotten injured, but it wasn’t the kind of thing that got easier every time.

The journey to the hospital was a blur. Before you knew it, you were in the waiting room. A heavy silence occupied the room as you and the team waited for an update.

Finally, the doors opened and you stood up, almost falling over until Rossi took your arm. With one look at JJ’s face, you knew your worst fears had come true.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

It’s been seven months since Emily died. Seven months since you attended her funeral. Seven months since you quit your job, packed your bags, and left town without telling anyone.

You’ve been living in a permanent state of anxiety and grief ever since Emily’s passing. You could barely register anything happening around you, not with the words “she never made it off the table” echoing in your mind constantly. You currently resided in New York with your friend, who was in their first year of residency and basically lived at the hospital, so you had the apartment to yourself a majority of the time.

You became vaguely aware of your phone ringing as you pulled yourself out of your daze. You were surprised and confused when the caller ID read Hotch’s name. The first month after your very sudden departure, your phone was bombarded with calls from each member of the BAU. As time passed and their calls kept going unanswered, they ceased their contact. Occasionally, you would get a few voicemails from Penelope who would update you on things happening in her life and to tell you that she missed you.

“Hi.”

“Y/N,” Hotch’s voice lifted in surprise. “I wasn’t sure if you would answer.”

You sighed.

“Well, here I am.”

“I’m…” Hotch trailed off for a second. “I’m calling because I need you to come back to Quantico.”

“Not interested.”

“I wouldn’t be asking if this wasn’t important, Y/N,” Hotch spoke quickly before you could hang up.

You thought about it for a moment.

“I’ve already sent the jet your way. JJ will meet you at the airport.”

You chuckle.

“I haven’t agreed yet.”

“I think you’ll want to be back here. Just trust me.”

The thought of reuniting with JJ and the rest of the team was tempting. You hadn’t realized how much you missed them all these months.

“Okay.”

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

JJ met up with you at the airport runway, pulling you into a tight embrace that you reciprocated. The two of you caught up with each other as the jet got ready for takeoff.

JJ sat up straight, her face becoming serious but still warm.

“Y/N, there’s something I need to tell you before we land.”

You held her gaze, sensing a hint of anxiety in her voice.

“What is it?”

Just like seven months ago in that waiting room, the world stopped spinning when you heard JJ’s words. You sat like a statue as she recounted the events, from Emily’s transfer to Paris to the team taking down Doyle at last.

When you were unresponsive for too long, JJ gently touched your hand.

“Emily is alive?” you ask for confirmation, not believing what you heard.

“Yes.”

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

Your steps from the runway into the office were quick and frantic, even JJ had to try to keep up with you. Through the glass doors of the office, you made eye contact with Hotch.

“Emily’s alive? Where is she? Is she here?”

Hotch didn’t answer your rapid-fire questions, but he swiftly led you into his office. Your heart was beating out of your chest and you could hear each pump of blood.

The figure in the room turned around and you gasped when your eyes met brown ones that you thought you would never see again. The Emily that stood before you had small changes in her appearance, but she was still your beloved Emily.

Emily approached you slowly, as one might approach a scared puppy.

“Y/N.”

You let out a sob, diving forward and pulling Emily into your embrace. She held you, tenderly stroking your hair as you cried into her neck. Tears sprang into Emily’s eyes as she felt her heart begin to mend having you in her arms.

“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry…” Emily repeated softly. “I had to keep us safe until Doyle was captured. I’m so sorry I had to leave you, and that I had to lie to you.”

You shook your head, pulling away slightly to see her face.

“You had no choice, I understand. I’m just glad you’re here. I thought I lost you for good.”

“You’ll never lose me again,” Emily wiped a tear from your cheek. “These past seven months have been hell without you. All I could think about was how rocky our relationship had been in the months before I left. I promise you that I won’t let us go back to that. It’s not going to be easy, and I have a lot of issues to work through, but I’m going to put in the work. I trust you wholeheartedly, Y/N.”

You smile at her words, feeling that things will be different this time around.

“That means a lot to me, Em.”

Emily tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, cradling your chin in her hand.

“Let’s go home, okay?”

“Let’s go home.”

[devnmon]

dating sadie adler, kisser of women hcs ♡

obviously i had to do this for my bbg sadie. she deserves MORE appreciation and if nobody will write for her I WILL!!!! i gladly will. i love her, so enjoy these! luv u all!

[also just pretend this is historically accurate bye!]

Sadie is a very intelligent woman... she knows how to hunt, how to use a gun, who knows what else is in that brain of hers. She must have so many hidden talents and skills, and you intend to find out what.

Though her addition to the group was somewhat abrupt, you and Abigail do your best to make her feel welcome. You aren't sure if Sadie feels the comfort that you hope your words provide to her at first. Once the group moves to Clemens Point, you find she's coming out of her shell little by little. You see it in her pristine new outfit when she returns from a run with Arthur, and the way she holds herself is much different than before.

This new version of Sadie Adler was fiery, confident and stickin' it to the man– you quickly found out not to get on her bad side. Though you think you'd let her do anything to you if it were the right situation.

The minute Sadie realizes what she's feeling for you is more than platonic... it takes her back a step. She never thought she'd find someone other than Jake to want in that way– but here you are. You're always at her side, perfect to her, and she will protect you like her life depends on it. When she silently swallows her feelings and pretends she doesn't care, you notice.

You all but have to drag her out of camp in the middle of the night to get a minute alone with her; otherwise there's prying eyes and others whose attention you really didn't wish to grab.

Once the two of you are alone you'll go off on how she's been avoiding you at every turn, rambling on and on like you'd done something wrong. "What happened to you?" you'd ask. She sighs and goes "You happened to me."

"I've been a fool. Do you hate me? What have I done?" statements flow from her when she notices you're silent, staring while she stutters over confessing her feelings. It's at that point you shut her up by kissing her and you can almost hear the sparks flying from the two of you. There's a big ass smile on her face afterwards and she kisses you in between her smiles. Sadie Adler is a smitten fool for you.

She's observant, patient and good with her hands. That is: she teaches you how to shoot a rifle, since you're more comfortable to ask her. She gladly shows you, and when you think you've got it, her arms surround you from behind to adjust your aim– and you're blushing. After she takes her hands away, you're flustered by the loss and silently begging for her to put them back.

Will match outfits with you nonchalantly as a statement to your relationship with her. Like say you're wearing an outfit with blue or white, she'll wear a blue scarf and her white shirt to match you. She'll even give you a piece of her jewelry to wear in that instance, or get you a piece of your own to match hers. Sadie's sentimental & cute like that!!!

Sadie will also leave you notes secretly, to which you fawn over every time. She also definitely gushes over the ones you leave her, when you compare her to the sweet flowers you pick for her. [Arthur noticed how hard she was blushing one time and got curious, she's had to read your notes in private ever since!]

Definitely gets veryyy touchy and affectionate when she's had a few drinks. She's slurring out "Heyyy pretty girlll I know where you can find a nice place to stay for the night..." in your ear and you have to excuse yourselves in *attempt* to get her to sleep.

Sadie is definitely the type to say "i owe you a hundred kisses" if you had a bet with her about something. Usually it was silly, harmless contests that either of you could compete against each other in playfully.

Sadie also introduced you to pranks, which she loves to pull on the other guys. One time the two of you messed with Arthur, sending him silly letters from someone named "Hugh Janus". The two of you tried to hold in your laughs when he got frustrated and yelled out "WHO THE HELL IS HUGH JANUS??" in camp unprompted.

Sadie is a huge cuddler at night, intertwining her whole body with yours to keep warm, especially when it gets chilly at night. There's not a smidge of space to have for yourself, it's shared with her always. Other examples of this are her linking her pinkie finger with yours when you're standing around the group. She loves physical touch so much that she'll do anything to have her skin on yours no matter what; if it's riding on the back of the same horse, or pouring her a drink, she's making some sort of contact. It's her way to say "I'm here & I love you". She's such a sweetheart to you.

NSFW

Yeah Sadie is a top this Sadie is a top that... may I suggest... she's a switch. On rare occasions, Sadie Loves being on her knees for you. She's a real freak like that. She'll beg and beg and beg until you cave and give her what she wants: you.

“Please, stop teasin’ me, just give me what I want. You know I’ll return the favor, sweet girl.” Her raspy voice, her gentle commands, her pretty thighs spread for you..

But when she's in control? Oh it's absoluuutely over for you. She'll praise you constantly cause she knows it's what you want to hear. “Doin’ so good for me, pretty girl. C’mon, let me hear you, use your words. I know you can.. Such a good girl.”

Her soft little whimpers & pleas as she climbs higher & higher. she’s so desperate for release & your touch, she’s basically sobbing for it. her eyes never leave you once she hears the same needy whine come from your side of the room, wanting to watch you come undone from the sight of her spread out for you.

You can't tell me she doesn't get off on you pulling her hair when it's in a messy braid. You love to run your fingers through it and grip, but it's too hot out for that. Plus she thinks it's easier for her braid to be pulled, and fucking loves it.

Her skilled hands could make you a whimpering mess, easily. She knows her way around, and boy if she isn't good at what she does.

"There you go, you got it, takin me so well..." in that accent of hers.. You'll fold every time. “Oh, look at you, pretty girl. Fallin’ apart for me so easily. D'ya know how whipped you got me?" Yeah, she's a lady who knows how to drive you crazy.

Then again... she's a goddamn tease. Especially if you've been bratty? Oh it's over for you. She feels your body up and down, making you work for any other sensual touches by begging. It's music to her ears. She lovesss to make you work for it.

She'll take her time for however long edging you with her fingers, then her tongue, and once you've had about two orgasms from just that, she sticks her strap inside you and gets another.

For aftercare, she'll ask you if you're feeling alright and lay with you after she cleans you up. Usually the both of you fall asleep afterwards, or take a bath or a shower before you do. Her brown eyes shine in the light while she tucks a strand of hair behind your ear and kisses your cheeks while you lie together.

[forallnumbersosc]

HEYYY!!!! I've been wanting to ask you a question about Donut since he had the Factor of Four and all. Does he act or look different from the other contestants?? Like does he have some things on his appearence or have habits that the algebralian also have???

Sorry If this question isn't really the type of thing you answer, Im just really curious about what you think abt this!!!!!!

OOOH anonymous I am SO glad you asked that because I finally get an excuse to introduce the wild world ooooof...

Algebralien Mathematical Operations!!

[this is another long one, so if you're just looking for Donut's dilemma, it'll be at the bottom of this ramble!]

So it is a bit of common knowledge that algebraliens, namely numerical-based ones have the ability to be added, subtracted, and all other manners of mathematical operations!

For simplicity's sake, I will leave variable and geometrical subspecies of algebraliens for a different discussion, since their ability to combine is pretty nuanced...

But essentially, the process of factorization (such as what happened to Donut) and other operations boil down to the reactionary ability for algebraliens forms to combine with anything that resembles a number and is within a threshold of a similar size to them, while also in the presence of anything that resembles a mathematical operator.

Biologically, the most we know about the process is that it boils down to the malleability of algebralien physical forms, where the 'bralien(s) subject to the operation reduce to a liquid-esque form and combine with whatever they are paired with.

It's a process that is completely innate to us, and will always occur when the right conditions are met, regardless of whether or not the algebralien(s) present are intending to let it happen or not!

Something unique about this process comes with anything that utilizes the number zero and mathematically results in a zero, such as dividing zero by a number, multiplying any number by zero, etc. will cause the non-zero algebralien to become trapped deeply within the zero. They are essentially immobilized, and it takes them quite a while for them to escape on their own, and it may even be impossible without assistance!

Because of this property, algebraliens with a value of zero often are given the role of those who keep peace and justice in algebralien societies... It doesn't happen often that an algebralien causes enough issues to warrant being sealed away within a zero, but I did record an interview on a relatively recent case where a rambunctious algebralien was dead set on causing pretty serious harm and was dealt with by being sealed in a zero...

In Donut's case, his situation was pretty unique... since he vaguely resembled a zero, it was just enough to complete the equation and combine him with Four, but it led to some... strange side effects...

I can't go back in time to investigate further, and we aren't at the point where we feel safe to test any other factorizations with number-shaped objects, but I have a theory that Four's liquid form caused some sort of bond with Donut's body, (specifically the cardiovascular, nervous, and limbic systems) and changed both his appearance and his attitude a bit, as well as giving him a few abilities typical of Algebraliens such as gravity manipulation and spatial distortion...

When I interviewed Donut about his experience, he says his memory is a bit fuzzy, but he remembers feeling strangely mischevious and VERY confident... Perhaps Four's personality blended a little with his own alongside the abilities he acquired...

[rasp-passion-two]

A small (big) update/catch-up post for anyone curious on where I've been and where I'll be:

*rides in on a skateboard with sunglasses and a mocktail in hand* yo

The past couple of years, I've been pretty M.I.A. I'd feel bad if I'd have any remaining folks who cared about me are left in the dark (as much as that anxious part of me will try to convince myself otherwise, I did build genuine connections on here 🥰). There also just might happen to be old inactive friends of mine who might randomly wonder where that random raspberry girl on tumblr ended up only to come back to see that she might've disappeared,,, or been sold on the dark web 🧐. There could also be any eventual new people to our small community to wonder that. So y’know what 🤔 I'll keep a little post up top so people can know (also, it'd be nice to give a speech once more to my imaginary audience c:)

With that said, I'll ramble about sum up under the cut:

So, where ya been, Rasp?

Well, to start things off, I'm doing really good :D looking back, I might've given people the vibe I was majorly depressed and that might've woried some people 🥲 it was never anything major, but I was still dealing with some teenage girl stuff, and this blog and ship and the fanbase I joined because of it became my mini safe spot. Simply put, I didn't have any sources to be able to properly word that to. I have that now and feel much more grounded and capable, and that's all I could've wanted years ago :)

You might've already guessed, but I've been busy lately, with adult stuff specifically. Yup, the fandoms resident little sister is grown now. She's working!! And she's in college!!! Wow!!1! I HAVE BASICALLY NO MORE FREE TIME!!!!!!!11! :DDD That, and a bunch of other reasons have made it harder to focus on one thing at a time, which is why I've been pretty scarce on this app, and online on general.

Soooo how ya been then, Rasp?

Uhhh... good question. Fine, I suppose 😗 kinda just existing right now. I have a feeling a lot of that has to do with me being unmediacted at the moment, so I haven't been able to do a lot of the things I love the past few years. Sooo... if you're wondering why I never posted those fics I teased in the past, that's why 🥲 I have a feeling I will one day, though. Just a matter of time. Speaking of, let's go into my last point:

Does that mean you're abandoning this account, Rasp?? ☹️

Mmm not quite. I've been popping in every couple of months, and I might keep doing that. But I definitely won't be as active as I used to. Couple reasons:

I mentioned a lot of reasons why, but I've been. Very busy 🥲 being online hasn't been at the forefront of my mind lately, so I've decided to not stress about it right now. Like I mentioned before, I'd like to come back to all this one day, but that's not now. Speaking of:

As much as I feel bad saying this, once the show ended, the ship and its fandom got really quiet. For me that makes it harder to participate in things if there's not a large community. I've joined other fandoms cuz of that, but not like this one... this fandom was special...... *looks off into the distance*

Bonus reason that ties into the last one: a lot of my friends are inactive with me not having any way to reach out, and that makes meeee very sadddd 😔 So if anyone I've met happens to see this:

...heyyy 🤪 I hope you got something out of this post,,,, like I said before, I'm unmedicated and have been very scatterbrained recently, but I tried to make this as cohesive as possible 😭 guess to end this off I'll link some other socials:

My side blog: rasp-passion-two

(Also pretty inactive on there, but if you wanna see what I've been into lately, that's the spot (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ I'm pretty sure I never ended up sharing it fsr lol)

My discord: rasp-passion tea#5877

(I'm not active in servers anymore cuz I think I grew out of using discord, but if you wanna chat? Let's chat (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ we could also do it on here but vsiwjsisvqisgwu)

...that's it lol. I think I'm kind of an enigma on here now, but thats alright. Uhhhh not sure how to "close" this off, so I guess I'll just say: if you read this whole thing?

🤍🖤🩶

^me rn

I'll see you all when I see you, but I'll always be here!!

~Tayah, AKA Rasp (and yes, it's pronounced "Razz" 😤👋🏽)

[targwh0re]

Thoughts on Teen Wolf the Movie while watching it pt.5

PeTeR wAiT" why she say it like that😭

Peter's line would've made way more sense if the Nogitsune was actually giving him illusions (maybe one's about the fire, or being trapped in a coma again, or hell maybe stuff about the desert wolf bc I mega curious about their relationship)

He's playing lacrosse 🥍

Sir should've just dove out the way, he basically told u it had wolfbane on it

"Wolfsbane" reminds me of gerards "Mountain ashhhh!" Lmao I make myself laugh

How'd she knock him out so quick with just an elbow to the face, he's a werewolf

New plot idea, nogi could've made him hallucinate the fire and make him see Kate everywhere so when he sees Allison (as Kate) he's fed up with the illusions bc it's fucking him up. I'm a genius, Jeff Davis hire me 😎

um just cause it looks like her doesn't meanit us her...doppelganger's anyone? (Yes I know different show bit still) or she could be possessed

ur a zombie chica 🧟‍♀️ 😁👍

Not Peter being big baby and having Melissa take care of him in the back😭

Chris what's ur gun gonna do against black smoke, u know it ain't the oni bc the sun's still out

"I've killed oni before" yeah and then they killed you ma'am

Malia "I don't do speeches" Tate, proceeds to give a speech 😂

🎶If we go down then we go down together🎶

Lydia:🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊 Allison:👏📸💏☺😍🥰😂🧍‍♀️👭👫😭💋🏃‍♀️🤣😊🏹😘

Don't think I didn't notice you left out Stiles and Isaac in them flashbacks😑

Oop it's night night time now 🌃

um they belong to themselves, you know free will and all, c'mon it's 2026 in ur universe so get eith the program honestly so canceled 🥱

Also if you were gonna have him say they belong to me know you could've had them possessed by the flies again like in 3b and made him fight his own friends. It'd be good emotionally and for the plot bc we wouldn't know if he'd be forced to kill them or not

oooo and if Stiles was here Nogi takes over his body again and let's Allison go bc he's sacrificing himself for them, there rising another issue but Stiles has full faith that Scott will bring him back

"I'm still standing, I'm still the Alpha!" Sounded a whole lot better in the trailer

also would've been cool if Derek was forced to be on Nogi's side bc he has Eli hostage

"Please don't make me watch my friends and my family die - I can't do that again" is what should've been the line💔

Um that was 3 arrows not 1, thought you were supposed to be a perfect shot, you letting out some pent up rage on my boy Scott? 😶

When did Eli get tied back up? Would've been cool to see it happen telekinetically

I love hikari but it just would've made more sense for Kira to save him. She would've been more powerful by now, she'd have complete control bc of the skinwalkers, and there's the emotional connection that's established between them

Or at the very least if it had to be Hikari they could've done my earlier suggestion and made that little girl and her dog a flashback of Scott saving Hikari bc then it would've been like you saved me once and now I've saved you 👍

Looked cool af thou 🔥

Damn, headshot 🎯

Hold up, now wait a minute, you're suddenly a perfect shot again?😂

Hold up Parrish where your clothes at and what underwear you buying bc all ur other clothes burn up but ur undies are fireproof?!😭

Heyyy, I love whoever idea it was to give mama McCall a crossbow 😎👌

Not Peter now using the wolfsbane ring dagger that just poisoned him🤦‍♀️is he good by the way lol did Melissa have a lighter on her or something

Yeah, you motherfucker *copies Peter's dramatic hair flip*💅

Stab stab flip flip

Yeah Jackson and Lydia takedown we deserve

Stiles taught her how to use a gun and he'd be so proud of his wife right now😁

Would've been cool if it was, like I said earlier, Stiles being the one at gunpoint and Jackson comes to save them (Stiles would be so annoyed😂)

oh he wasn't tied up, he was just hiding again

Eli you little liar you already done the glowing eyes and the fangs

Awwww yes! Eli and Derek are my favorite part of this movie, I could watch a whole series about them🥺

Love how they roared together, like Derek was giving him strength and encouragement in that roar

Love the wolfie faces, though I do think the shows looked a little bit scarier, the eyes are really good in this one thou🐺

Baby Eli and Daddy Derek to the rescue

Now we all got our guns back that ig Parrish was hiding in his underpants 🙈😭

pow pow mf

I thought it was impossible to be both a fox and a wolf🤔

This supports my theory that this is just another illusion and none of it's real. It looks real and feels real but it's not

Ugh you was ugly ass mf wolf-fox🤢

Why his eyes glowing green? shouldn't it be a more yellowish green for a firefly 🤨

He looks like a mole deadass💀

🎶we're all in this together🎶

Why aren't Peter, Malia, Liam, Hikari, and Parrish going with them...

Eli honey, I love you but...why you running like that, you look like ur about to fall🤭

I like how the lighting in each room reflects their eyes

Well obviously its not real

You know my dumbass would just be in their yelling "echo" bc it'd be funny to me😭

Well that was very rude of you Nogi

What was Harris's goal, I'm still confused 😕

Should called him a pup instead of a child, it just would've been more pleasing to me bc it's a funny tease to say to a werewolf idk why

"Start with me" Nogi said okay say less 👍

Now you see me, now you don't

Scott this is kind of embarrassing for you bc Duke taught you how to fight using all your other senses when your sight won't help you...

you can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man 🤪

So what did everyone else see? Did they just see them all on the nemeton looking ridiculous or did they do a disappearing act snd magically appear out of nowhere

Also why didn't nogi mess with them at the same time, seems a waste if you ask me to just leave them to come up with a plan, then ur just asking you get defeated but oh well🤷‍♀️

Oop well Eli's out the game again but Parrish is putting himslef back in, there's a good man (there's a nice demon😂)

Nogi's laugh made me laugh 🤣

Hell no, don't you dare. I know that look Derek Hale, don't you fucking do it. Bad werewolf, very bad werewolf! not infront of ur son! NO, HE IS NOT APART OF SCOTT'S PACK NOW IDGAF THAT HE'S THE ALPHA

PARRISH DON'T LIGHT THAT FUCKER UP

DEREKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!

So much for only a true alpha only every few hundred years, BUT IT WAS FUCKING EARNED DAMN IT😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

The way Eli said dad😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Okay let me be serious, I don't think Derek's dead. This was was all on layer of the illusion, it looks real, it feels real, but it's not real!

Idk where Derek or the Nogitsune are but neither are dead, bc you can't even kill a Nogitsune so where is the fly like at the end of S3 hmmm🤨

He's not dead no, nope, i refuse

Poor Peter, Derek and him were really close, even though they had their differences they were still all they had left 😢

Eli😔

Ew Scott shouldn't be giving the speech it should be Peter or Eli

Where's Isaac (his first beta), Cora (his sister), and Stiles? You can't tell me they wouldn't be there for his funeral

Actually the first the first thing he said to you was "What are you doing here? This is private property"

AWWW Papa Stilinski coming in clutch🥺

DEREKKKK😭😭😭

This is where Lydia answers Stiles would renew their vows

NO UR NOT ALLOWED TO ADOPT ELI YOU ARGENT AND FAILWOLF (no offense)

Um isn't she still technically 17🤨

[sundancetarot]

“Red Lights and a Suit” Kirishima x ENBY Reader // SFW COMFORT FIC

Hey Guys!! This is my first fic- I quite literally wrote it for my partner but if you want some of that comfort Kiri love, THEN COME GET YA’LL JUICE LMAOO

Description: After recieving news at school pertaining to a school dance, Kiri helps lift your spirits.

Pairing: Non-Binary reader x Eijiro Kirishima

Word Count: 2279

Includes: Loving relationship, affection, pet names, hugs, and appreciation.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Grab my hand and keep your eyes closed tight, I don't want the surprised spoiled!".

Hesitantly, you grab a shaken Eiji as he steers your blind eye somewhere you've never experienced but, it feels familiar... somehow, but how? Two steps turned into four, four into six, six into nine, and so on.

"Okay- one more step... watch out for the step.. another... a third- OKAY! Open.".

You want to see wants behind these hands but your brain is having trouble communicating with your bones. You're not nervous but... envious, in ways. Finally, after your self-to-self speech, your hands lower to come in contact with a foggy image of-

{BEEEEEP}

"SHIT-" That was all that could leave your lips... well, there was also FUCK, DAMN, ASS, and your personal "I've been awakened into a frightened state" favorite- CUNT!

You turn over to your phone to finally shut off the constant ringing of your most recent anime binge watch's opening credits song- not your favorite- your most recent.

After, the all too familiar urge of procrastination, you finally manage to shut off the CORRECT alarm this time. Even so, shutting off an alarm has never had many benefits besides reducing the antagonizing screech of above the volume music... however, until now, you have never been greeted by a sleeping Kirishima on your screen behind the alarm window.

That's right... we fell asleep on Facetime together.

You're not surprised that eventually, you'd have these moments- you find the idea of him next to you somewhat comforting.

His blood red-like hair falling onto his pillow has always been a pretty sight to you. His pointed teeth exposed to you, no one knows what he dreams, as he tends to forget but- the way he smiles, even in sleep... No, especially in his sleep, is behind adorable.

You could see from the angle of the phone he had his red LED lights on the highest setting, (typical, was your immediate thought), he has self-drawn art of him in his Red Riot costume with "MANLY" written in comically large lettering under, above, or to the sides of each portrait, this is too cute.

Eiji mentioned last night that he sleeps without a shirt on, he decided to give you this information the moment you started to dose off. Fortunately, waking up before him grants you the pleasure of finally witnessing his rock-hard exterior (I'm so sorry.).

{BEEEEEEEEEP}

"CUNT-" told you. Once again you mistake snooze for the off option. You pick your phone up off the carpet, after launching it several feet in the air. Luckily, your side of the facetime's audio is off and Eiji didn't hear the exaggerated explosion of sounds.

Picking your phone up off the ground which was disconnected from your charger immediately, makes your gut sink deep into your ass, your brain catches up to what you're seeing and pushes your body to practically fly into the bathroom seeing as you only have 40 minutes to get ready now.

That seems like plenty of time if you would have actually showered the night before. Rushing back into your room for your towel, you place Kiri on the sink's counter.

Starting up the shower was a difficult task when you're removing your clothes at the same time, you eventually set it to the right temperature and successfully remove your oversized hoodie with boxer briefs underneath with ease.

After washing your body, you manage to carefully launch yourself back into your room to moisturize and get dressed- you place Kiri on your dresser with a view of you after putting on your underwear.

"Well- aren't you glowing Bubbles?". That humbled cockiness in a person's tone can only come from one person and only this person can make you jump out of your skin in excitement. You turn to face him putting on his shirt because, unlike you, he takes a shower the night before to avoid a rush.

"fuc- don't scare me like that Red!". You definitely miscalculated the emotion there because that was NOT fear, it was a sentiment of emotions on how what he said made you feel inside. Nearly dropping to your knees you tighten up your composure and continue with your routine.

"Sorry babes, you do look unbelievable this morning though." Blushing was definitely out of the question, ain't nothing burning through that melanin babes. Instead, your stomach burns in butterflies as you muster up the words...

"You missed a button on your shirt, Red.". Cool, that was cool.

No, it wasn't.

You can see he wants to make another remark but you notice the new arrangement of numbers on your clock.

[7:27 AM]

Eiji notices your expressions and the faster tempo in your steps as you go from rushing to being quicker than the speed of light. As you reach the door you hear Kiri clear his throat in a way to tell you about the one thing you forgot... HIM! Nearly, slipping under your bed you grab your phone in one swift motion and bolt downstairs.

You don't have time to eat the breakfast your parents teamed up to make so you grab toast and a Capri Sun, hug your parents, pet Rubble; your St. Benard, and bolt for the door.

You hear Kiri's radio in his car blare indistinctive lyrics from his favorite genre "Rock-N-Roll" (I'm so sorry.). You finally start to make your way to school where you pass the place you and Kiri had your first date.

As you ponder the thought of the first time you ever saw him cry, the moment you saw him smile, and the day he said he's his happiest with you casts an unbreakable spell around you. A spell you would never want an antidote for.

After a handful of minutes, you pull into the parking lot across the street from the UA entrance and began the new day. You walk past your classmates greeted with the usual "Hey, Y/N!". From Shoji, "HEY KISSES!". From the always bubbly Uraraka, "Alright boo, heyyy- AH, mwah!" from your favorite person in this school (besides Red of course) Mina.

Speaking of favorite people...

"Guess who?" A pair of hands appear over your eyes and an obviously forced high pitched voice lets you know exactly who it is.

"Hmm... Koda!"

"YE- wait, huh?" Kiri stands there confused arms unraveled from you. You turn with a gigantic smirk plastered across your face, eyes slanted, with defined smile lines signifying your humorous poke at him.

"Oh- haha, laugh out loud- super manly of you." You can hear his sarcasm bursting through his lips. You quickly place your arms around his waist giving him the tightest squeeze letting him know without words how much you miss him. Almost as if without any effort, he grabs you and lifts you into the air, wrapping your legs around him you give him an even tighter hug.

This day, like most, was pretty uneventful so, you zone out... as usual. When you finally come to, you find yourself wrapped around Ojiro's tail, who doesn't mind the immense affection. After your third class period, you meet up with your friends in the cafeteria.

Like any other day, you offer to pay for Uraraka who happily accepts; even when she has enough for a meal you still insist. I mean- why not? Kiri always has your bill.

[2:38 PM]

We finally reach last period and the class president Tenya, announces the school's annual Sadie Hawkins dance. [Brief Sadie Hawkins dance explanation: A dance in a tradition where the girl asks the boy out.]

"Well- what are Y/N and Eijiro going to do?" huh.

"How is Y/N going to ask out Eijiro- they're not a girl therefore how will they find a date to go?" Stupidity graced this one early but, embarrassment graced you immediately.

You couldn't form your words properly to explain or defend, you could only leave. Eiji tries to come after you but you signal him to stay there.

"You're such a douche you know that, right?" Kiri says dropping his almost permanent grin.

"LANGUAGE!" Iida screeches while flapping his limbs completely missing his faults.

[8:13 PM]

You sit in your room foolishly stumped by Iida's uncalled for questions. It doesn't make sense, honestly, you would never let Iida's "no thoughts, just speak" way of speech get to you.

You pause your binge of "Criminal Minds" to go down to the kitchen for a quick snack when you see a bright flare of red pass by your kitchen window wrapping around to the front of your house.

Your immediate thought is that this must be a police car making its way to a crime scene- being a hero in training gave you the instinct of potential bad around every corner. So, this was not a threat nor surprise to you.

{My Red Riot❤️ one (1) new message}

You were wondering where he's been all day. You haven't spoken to him all day, you even tried texting him, and you were left on read by red (I'm sorry once again.) with no response. You are curious as to what he has to say though.

{My Red Riot❤️ : Come outside.}

I won't say I'm nervous but I am definitely confused. I make my way to the front door and take a deep breath while turning the knob...

"Hey, Bubbles." standing there in a grey suit with a red tie, red handkerchief in the left chest pocket, maroon shoes accompanied by burgundy calf socks, and a rose pinned to his suit to top it all off next to his Jeep Wrangler with modified red headlights was your Red Riot.

"We don't need a school dance to strengthen our relationship when we have each other to look at and each other to embrace- I promise to never have this become a rocky relationship..."

You chuckle at the very thought-provoking joke. "... I love you Bubbles." How could anyone be so lucky? You can feel the tears forming already as he walks towards you.

Lifting your chin up to face him he asks you one question...

"Can I kiss you?". You meet his eyes, you feel equal.

"Yes- Of course, you can Red...". He lifts your face up higher and your lips meet he has just confirmed that you are equal- more than partners, but lovers.

You don't know where to put your arms, what to think, or what to feel but it doesn't matter. You feel safe, you feel protected, you are loved.

You pull apart from each other for a moment before getting another quick peck before a grin paints his face, it resembles The Cheshire Cat's smug grin. You don't know whether to be comforted or genuinely terrified by the devilish stare.

"Well- aren't ya gonna get dressed?"

"For?". What has he planned?

"For our Sadie Hawkins- Bubbles, DUH!"

"Oh- I mean, um, YES; of course! Our Sadie Hawkins!". You don't know what he's talking about but, You trust what he does. You rush back inside to my room... time to do the damn thing.

After a while of searching for combinations, You walked out the front door in a black turtleneck, burgundy blazer with black buttons and lining, matching dress pants, and black Doc Martens for footwear to a stunned Kiri.

"Wow- you look... stunning, Y/N." You haven't heard him say my name since we started dating, it's such a genuine feeling. Kiri pauses and rushes back to the car, in a hurry he returns with a small box... this isn't a- right?

Kiri falls to his knee and lifts up the box to a petunia corsage that he slides onto your wrist, completing your look. He picks you up and carries you towards the car door where he reaches out his right arm to open it and places you inside with his left.

The car ride is smooth, no bums in the road and if there were you didn't notice- you could only pay attention to Kiri's presence. You feel a breeze sweep your hand and look down to Red's hand comfortably resting on yours.

He's warm and his hand is incredibly soft definitely the opposite of his Unbreakable form. Being with him in this car feels almost sheltering to you, like a second home of love.

While you were off daydreaming, the car stopped in front of Kiri's house. Your door opens to fully red Kirishima, clearly embarrassed by his blush, you don't react to it much. A sharp feeling strikes your brain as soon as his hand gently grasps yours... you've lived this before.

"Grab my hand and keep your eyes closed tight, I don't want the surprised spoiled!".

Right- your quirk of future vision. It feels dreamlike but as soon as it's put into motion you can pinpoint everything that'll occur after the first stage, it helps with catching villains in the act of their crimes.

"Okay- one more step... watch out for the step.. another... a third- OKAY! Open.".

You let down our hands to a bundle of streamers, lights, and a painted canvas of you and Kiri with a message written on the bottom of it "RED RIOT'S REASON TO RIOT". You don't even give yourself time to process before leaping into his arms with a kiss, you both fall back onto his lawn where you spontaneously combust into laughter.

This night has been the greatest you've ever had- he knew your favorite movies to watch, shows to binge, and music to dance to the entire night. He knows you.

"I love you, Red."

"I love you, Bubbles."

⬇️PLAYLIST BASED ON FIC⬇️

[exoczn]

VERTIGO || CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER ONE • CHAPTER TWO • CHAPTER THREE • CHAPTER FOUR

m.list

Pairing: Mark Lee x Reader x Yuta

Genre: Angst, Fluff

warnings: none for this chapter

Plot: what happens when you feel like a failure yet again like always and you’re not enough in a new city and accidentally meet a stranger who is broken himself but changes your life along with his own by a short encounter near the Vancouver river

————————————————

   You woke around afternoon because you slept at 3:30 am and spent the last night listening to soft alternative music, drinking cheap wine and looking at the sky; it wasn’t starry in particular but you always liked nights like this.

   You get up to make coffee for yourself and your phone buzzes. 

Yuta: Heyyy 

Yuta: The party thing is still on, right??

 You suddenly realise that it's Saturday and start panicking. You go to your closet and start finding something to wear but you’re too confused and you feel nothing looks that good according to you. So you call Yuta immediately.

he picks up after 3 rings 

 "hello?? y/n, what's up? don’t say you can’t make it and break my heart.” he chuckles.

 “Hey no! I won't do something like that yEt but well anyway that's not why I called you. I called you because I’m confused as to what should i wear and i wanted to ask you, uhhh 

what would you be wearing?”

 “well it's just a bunch of rich kids renting an airbnb and throwing a party, nothing fancy?  He sighs and continues  “I’m literally so excited to see you again idk why but can’t wait”

You try for it to not affect you that much and stop yourself from smiling that much and continue “Yes me too”

  “anyway y/n I’ll pick you up around 10:30?”

“sure”

��—————————————————————

 You started getting ready around 9 after having some leftovers from last night. You were wondering about how things in your life were going pretty smoothly and how Yuta was everything you wanted in a guy. It really had been a week since met him and he texted you the night you met him in the coffee shop. 

  You both talked about music, anime, how you felt about the city, he talked about japan and his old neighborhood where he grew up and realized you both were going to the same university and Mark too. 

   You looked yourself in the mirror. You were wearing your 560 levi’s and a black cropped tank with your chelsea boots. You wore silver hoops and a small lock necklace. You were about to finish your look with a clear lipgloss when you heard your doorbell ring and figured who it might be. 

 You finished applying your gloss quickly and rushed to open the door and saw him standing there with a smug smile on his face and his pretty eyes. His eyes were almost too pretty. He was wearing a black shirt with a pair of light washed jeans as well.

 “Oh my goodness you’re looking almost as pretty as me” he said, widening his eyes with an open mouth smile showing his perfect teeth.

Why is he so pretty? What's happening to you y/n?

 You rolled your eyes while laughing and said “ha ha ha right” sarcastically. 

  “And look! We’re matching! No wait… you copied me”

 “We’re matching, yes. I copied you, it's not even possibly possible einstein.” 

 “But anyway y/n, you look- “

  “Amaaazing, i know.” you both laughed.

  “Now, shall we?” He held out his hand and you took it.

-----

  You enter the place and see a tall guy with brown hair walking up to the two of you with a huge smile and hugs Yuta.

  “y/n this is Johnny, johnny this is y/n.”

    “Dude wow! She pretty pretty- “

  “TOLD YA” Yuta says while shrugging 

  “Hi Johnny and thanks” you shake his hand and smile.

 “Hey John, where's Mark?” 

 “You know he hates parties, he's probably in the balcony or somewhere drinking his beer.”

 You weren't much fond of parties yourself but you came anyway as you already had no social life here and didn't know anyone else other than Sehun who lived in front of you and Kaitlyn your college friend.  

  You played a round of beer pong with Yuta, Johnny, Taeyong (his other ‘bro’) and some other people. At this point you were somewhat tipsy and wanted to have some water. So you went to the kitchen to get some water for yourself and for some reason the kitchen was somewhat dark but illuminated by the light coming from outside so you didn't bother to switch on the lights. 

You walk inside, you hear somebody “Y/n?” You jump

  “MARK???!!” 

 “Yes its me, calm down.”

 “MY HEART WAS GONNA COME OUT OF MY CHEST, YOU DUMBASS!” you almost screamed

 “I'm sorry I must've startled you” he chuckles.

 “No shit sherlock”  you roll your eyes and he starts laughing, it's almost like he's squeaking. It's cute. 

 After he stops, there's awkward silence between the two of you. You gulp down the water in your glass.

  “So how are things going between you and Yuta?” he finally asks. 

  “Good” you nod your head “great, I mean. He’s a nice guy and he's funny but very cocky. I think that's why I like him that much.”

 He chuckles again “I know he can get very cocky but it is indeed funny. He might look like an asshole to people or intimidation but he's a good guy.”

  “What’s up with your ex thing btw? Do you still miss her or-” you try to make conversation and also you were genuinely curious about how he is coping up with it because the first time you saw him, he looked pathetic.

  “Oh no no i don't anymore, i don't care about her anymore and i've realized that the whole dating shit is not for me i guess. Plus i like being alone now, it's comforting and i don't have to worry about ‘how to tell her that i hate being around her friends’ thing.” 

 “Right” 

 “Also did i tell you that you look good with that haircut.”

 “Thanks” you smile. “My brother thinks i look like a 7th grader.”

 “No wayyyy. It suits you” he gives a genuine smile”

 You thank him and then you remember “Oh Yuta, Johnny and your other friends were looking for you!”

  You leave the kitchen with Mark and you see Yuta, Taeyong and Johnny near the staircase.

You walk to them and Yuta says “Oh markkk where were you? I’ve been looking for you since I walked in.” 

  “I was uh-”

  “y/n where’d you find him and where were you ???” yuta asks you this time.

  “I went to get water in the kitchen and i saw him there.”

   Yuta got asked, “Oh.. are you fine??!!” 

  You noticed him completely ignoring the other three’s existence which made you feel special but guilty for some reason. 

You shook your thoughts away and replied

  “Uhm yes i don't know, i'm good, just a little exhausted.”

  “Should i take you home?”  

  “No, it's fine, I can take the train and go back on my own.” 

  “It's not safe at this hour, I'll drop you.”

   With that you both take off after saying goodbyes to johnny, mark and taeyong. 

 ---------------------

MARKS POV/

 After y/n and Yuta left,, Taeyong went to get smirnoff and 

 Johnny asked,”Hey Mark! Uhm why do you like y/n by any chance too?” 

  He caught me off guard by asking that and there were sirens ringing in my head and i didn’t know how to respond to it but i knew that lying wouldn't be a sensible option because he would easily catch me in seconds but i still tried to act as if i didn't know what he was talking about and said

 “W-what makes you think that?” I fake laughed.

 “Listen bro idk how others didn't notice but you know you were being quite obvious. Like when he rushed next to her to ask if she's okay, your face screamed that you were sooo jealous, i don't know what you plan on doing next but i really suggest you talk to her about it bro.”

 “man, i thought of it kinda and tried asking her about what's up with the whole situation and honestly, she seemed to really like him and well i don't wanna get into whatever they have for each other by confessing it to her and like i don't even know her so it's just plain weird for me to think of anything.” I tried to justify what I was doing to him and it felt more like trying to justify myself. 

  I went ahead and told johnny about how we actually met and how back then i was a coward and not smart enough to say anything but i realized i didn't really get a chance to say something to her and started wondering about what johnny said. 

Was it that obvious? What am i trying to do? Am I a bad friend? 

 ------------------------------------

  You reached your building around 1ish and Yuta tried to ask you out on another date but this time he said it'd be a proper just you-and-him-alone-date and you thought it'd be cool because so far things were going too well and you liked him too.  

 It was weird for you to process how vocal he was about his feelings for you and you realized that's probably the most attractive thing about him, he wasn't playing games with your feelings like you're used to otherwise and it was nice for a change. 

    You would have your mind wondering about mark once a while but you’d force yourself to tap back into reality.  

[hardfeelingsmp3]

hey would you mind telling us a bit about how you two met, your friendship and what led you to being in love with her??? sorry if you don't want to, it's just i've been following the story and i swear it's like a good best friends to lovers come true. again, sorry if this bothers you, it's just i'm a curious person and i thought maybe you're the type who likes to talk about stuff like this, so it's be a win-win lol. hope everything works out for you!!

heyyy lmao how do you know i really like talking about stuff like this……… i’ll give you the long story since you asked

so. i was friends with a girl that my best friend used to date and also a couple more friends in common. this girl used to tell me a bunch of shit about her (almost all lies) but i hadn’t met her until another friend brought her to a party we went to. she was drunk as hell and she was hitting on me which i did not realize, only later i found out she did actually want to hook up with me that night and then it became a joke in our newly formed friend circle that i had rejected her. (it’s been 2 years and she still jokes about that.) soon after the day we met, she met another friend of mine, and long story short is they fell in love. she and i were instant friends though, we just clicked and i loved hanging out with her. because we are a lot more similar than me and that friend of mine, i became closer to her even though we’d just met. the two of them had a very complicated relationship, though. for several months they broke up and got back together a bunch of times and it was painful for the two of them, but when they broke up for good, the girl i was friends with before was very unfair and horrible to my best friend. it’s been like 7 months now and i don’t even talk to her anymore because of all the things she said and how much she made my best friend suffer more than necessary with the already painful breakup. this is a really short version of what was a long and deeply traumatic process but the part that matters to you is i became closer to my best friend as she was going through a very hard time and i realized just how much i care about her.

another thing that happened in the meantime is i met a girl and we started dating. she was a total outsider to the whole situation and she was wonderful and we were together for a few good months and i’m not gonna get into this in detail cause it really is a totally separate story but basically i broke up with her and it was as amicable as a breakup could be.

so now we get to the part where i unbelievably fall in love with my best friend. after i broke up and she was also single, we became even closer because we’d hang out more often and also talk all the time. we always had this thing where we’d hit on each other as a joke even when we were dating our respective ex girlfriends because it was 100% just a joke… and then it wasn’t anymore. all the playfully hitting on each other intensified and things got progressively weirder between us until i acknowledged that we’d hook up eventually it was just a matter of time. still, it happened faster than i thought. when i was in new york she sent me drunken texts one night saying she really wanted me but she knew it’d end badly, and that all our jokes couldn’t be just jokes. so some weeks later it happened and tbh our first kiss was serious fanfic material i’ll tell you. at that point everyone thought we were gonna hook up so sometimes we’d take pictures at parties pretending we were kissing just to freak out our friends. except this time we really kissed! as soon as the kiss was over i was pissed i didn’t remember it cause we were like “holy shit” and laughed nonstop for several minutes and my fucking knees were wobbling i swear to god. and thennnnn we kissed again a bunch of times so that was one hell of a night

now it’s been very complicated since then and a lot of stuff has happened and it’s still going on so idk maybe some other time i’ll get into this part but for now it’s in the form of my posts venting about it. the latest development is we unexpectedly hooked up twice this past week and then decided we should stop and be rational so let’s see how long it takes for that to fail

stay tuned for scenes from our next chapter !