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writing-fool · 4 years

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Hey, real stressed out right now, if you're not too busy can I get the Mlqc boys with a stressed out s/o? I'm in some need of some serotonin, love your work x

mlqc | so will i

Hi hun, I’m very sorry to hear that. I hope you’ll feel better soon. If this doesn’t end up giving you enough serotonin, I have something a little similar up on my blog: here

That said, I think I’m becoming a comfort writer, and I can’t really complain about that. So, here’s a couple of quick and loving headcanons for each boy.

Much love,

Victor

Victor isn’t actually all that cold as a husband anyways (and we ALL know author Ré likes their moody boys just a little gooey)

but when you’re stressed? oh boy this gentleman is ready to do anything in his power to make you feel better

he was deadass about to buy a whole spa before you stopped him and told him you just need him to hold you

“Oh. I...guess I can do that.” be careful, this man will not let you go until you feel better

as an excellent chef, he’s also The Person to ask when you need comfort food

mac & cheese? you got it. congee? already done. chicken noodle soup? yes yes.

the way to a person’s heart is through their stomach and mine is currently growling

on occasion, he’ll be the cause of your stress, and while he doesn’t want to favour you over his other employees necessarily, he does understand that sometimes you need a break

for once, he’ll be the one pulling you from your work

how does he notice you’re stressed? your reports become dangerously subpar. sorry hun, it’s the truth

if you don’t listen to him and keep working yourself to near death, he’ll just have to use drastic measures

did he swing you over his shoulder? yup.

did you low-key enjoy it because his ass is Immaculate? also yup.

he knows you like it when he pampers you, so when you’re stressed out, he’ll run you a nice bath with expensive oils and soaps

he’ll wash your back for you, digging his large fingers into those knots at the nape of your neck

afterwards, Vic will brush your hair for you, making sure you’re all cozy in your fluffy robe

he doesn’t like to admit it, but seeing you relax warms his heart and makes up for all the mediocre reports you write

Lucien

our favourite perceptive professor notices right away

i mean, everyone has tells when they start getting stressed out, and Lucien knows yours like the back of his hand

sometimes, he even notices before you do. how does that even happen?

prepare for the endless amounts of chamomile tea he’ll make you drink

Lucien’s very supportive of what you do, but he also reminds you that you need to rest like a filthy hypocrite~

so he’ll jot down cheeky notes in your agenda

14:00 / come have a relaxing walk in the park with me. ~L

7:30 early morning online meeting 8:00 have a lie-in with your favourite scientist. for research purposes, of course

you confront him about it and he’s just staring at you with this innocent look that’s absolutely illegal because you’re not innocent Lucien, not in the slightest i won’t believe it i’m not going to fall for it—damnit i fell for it

“Am I not allowed to take care of my little flower?”

is really good at clearing your schedule

like, suspiciously good

he’ll probably help you with anything you’ve got going on regarding paperwork, and instead of having to do research for a production, a whole stack of highlighted and marked articles will already be on your desk, waiting for you to quickly sift through everything

on a more serious note, he does know a lot about destressing and ways to relax

so he’ll suggest practicing mindfulness together, or something similar

from experience, these things may sound silly, but breathing exercises or meditation can really just refocus your brain on the tasks at hand to lessen stress. obviously though, this is all very personal

but he knows he can’t love your negative emotions away, so most importantly, he’s always there for you

whether it is to listen to you rant, to give advice or even just to soothingly rub his thumb over your shoulder

Lucien’s always right next to you, and that’s one less thing to worry about

Gavin

Birdcop! lately i’ve been associating him with bnha’s Hawks/Keigo, and i don’t know how to feel about that. but i digress

Gavin’s not the quickest to pick up on your emotions

like, he knows there’s something going on because his mind is filled with you all day, but he can’t really decipher what’s wrong

will just straight up ask you what’s going on, how you’re feeling, etc

i always turn Gavin into this really understanding and communicative, healthy relationship poster boy, but y’all deserve it

“Babe? Are you feeling alright?”

if the answer is no, this man just clears his schedule for a week, or a month, or a whole year Gavin you can’t ignore your responsibilities don’t—

not really, but he does go out of his way to spend more time with you

clocks out earlier, only does missions that require him,...

flies to you the moment he’s got time to spare

does so recklessly. gets caught by some people who, fortunately, are convinced it’s just some very weird humanoid bird. gets reprimanded by STF. does not care.

at home he doesn’t really do more than give you space when you need it, offer a listening ear when you need that. he’s really not doing anything grand, because that’s not really Gavin, but he lets you know that he cares, and that’s good enough.

Gavin will force Minor to look out for you at work, and will stage a freakin’ intervention if you’re getting overworked

“MC, you’re getting kidnapped.” wraps you into a blanket like a burrito and flies home with you in his arms

actually flying seems like a relaxing thing to do, especially at night

when the stars are twinkling, the moon is glowing, and you’re high above the city, all your problems seem just a little smaller

Kiro

the chances of him not knowing you’re feeling bad aren’t very small

he’s obviously very busy, and if he’s overseas...

being concerned that you’re going to be lonely without him like he is without you does make him call you as often as he possibly can

he’s a clingy pupper, what can i say

he picks up the stressed out tone in your voice though, even when you try to hide it

“Oh, Miss/Mr. Chips, you can’t fool me, The Best Actor Of All Time. Now, tell me...are you alright?” imagine him saying that last bit in like a hushed, slightly worried tone. i wouldn’t even be able to lie

he’ll let you complain as long as you want on the phone, even when Savin’s been calling him

he’ll just hide in the closet so he doesn’t get found

when he goes back home, the first thing he does is trap you in a big hug

he refuses to let you go, pouting about how worried he was, and how much better he’ll make you feel

“Because I’m your brightest star after all!”

if he’s free while you’re feeling stressed, for example, when you’re at home together, he’ll do something silly to cheer you up

like dance on the coffee table

yup. that’s why it broke.

i don’t think he’d be too focused on your problems, as in, he doesn’t need to know 100% of what’s going on

Kiro just kind of zooms in on the fact that you’re feeling sad, overwhelmed, stressed out, and he’ll do anything in his power to relieve that feeling

and that’s one of his qualities, to be fair

you’re not going to do stuff like have long chats about your feelings, but he is going to propose doing face masks together to calm down

maybe you’ll play a couple of video games together

at the end of the day, how could you worry when your sun is right next to you?

Shaw

look, i don’t know if you’re of legal drinking age...but Shaw’s coping mechanism is drinking and going out

so the moment you say you feel bad, he’s whipping out the wine, hun

lowkey wants to drag you to the club to make you forget about your problems...but even he realises how inappropriate that type of behaviour is

he’s actually a lot cuter when he’s a little tipsy

“Hm, beautiful.” “What?” “Nothing.”

Shaw’s also a huge diva, which is canon now you guys can’t stop me from making it canon

so you guys will have matching head bands on, face masks, glasses of wine, bottles of nail polish, talking about how horrible life is

you’re venting to him, and he vents back, and you just both come to the conclusion that life sUCKS, work sUCKS and Shaw...doesn’t suck at all

the next morning, you wake up slightly disheveled and a bit disoriented

but you feel significantly lighter

well, not physically, since there’s literally an arm slung around your waist

he doesn’t really change much about his behaviour...but you notice he’s a tad more affectionate

and a lot less mean

like, forehead poking suddenly turned into teasing hair ruffling.

tickling turns into soft kisses in the crook of your neck while you’re cooking

his rough hands intertwine with yours

“Don’t just overwork yourself, stupid.”

ahh, his words don’t match his actions at all

I had very little inspiration for Shaw...but I wanted to get this out ASAP. Feel free to send in any requests!

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outrunningthedark · 4 years

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What's your favourite thing about dele and eric being together? Mine is that despite everything, dele is so fiercely proud of eric no matter what and that sometimes whether it's conscious or not it just pours out of him. I'm trying to get some positivity going because Tumblrs been a sad place for a while now with all the hate and fighting. I don't have an issue with people saying their opinions but some dele and eric positivity can't hurt!

Oh, nonnie. This is probably a topic better suited for off-blog because I could talk endlessly about all the things our boys do that make me want to s c r e a m 🤭 Dele - Ever since the power couple pulled back from social media and public interactions, my kiddo was the one fans assumed became ‘uncomfortable’ with the attention/gossip. In reality, he handed over his twitter and insta accounts to his brother. Our Del got his insta “back” at the start of lockdown and...what did he do? Reminded everyone just how close he and Eric are. Still. That Dele/Dier dinner never happened. If anyone thinks Dele was the person to step in the way of that...stop. Right now. He did not mention it more than once just to act like it was never a ~thing~. But I digress! The point I’m getting at is... yes, I can acknowledge that Dele is the “quieter” of the two, usually, but when he knows Eric needs his support, when he gets in these “rebellious” moods...boy, does he really not give a fuck. It’s beautiful. Some examples: His very obvious concern over Eric’s injury last March, going right up to him for a head scratch just so Eric knew he was there; letting Eric hump him ON THE PITCH after Ajax (people will twist themselves into pretzels trying to make that moment “not gay”); the insta live after the match when he acknowledged Eric for the first time in what felt like eons; COOKING VIDEO. I WILL NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT IT. Nor will I shut up about the fact that Dele dropped that bomb mere days after Eric’s “I see you” on insta (Spurs took three months to release the damn video. Imagine that). OLYMPIAKOS. Eric’s framed jersey!! In his living room!! Since around September (bet y’all didn’t know that, huh), and it was moved to an unknown location only after the robbery - can’t blame him there. That’s a prized possession. *Liking* Eric’s post after the incident in the stands, the first since MARCH OF 2019. THE SIGNIFICANCE. Nonnie, I could keep going because there’s just SO MUCH he’s done in a time of “secrecy”. It blows my mind. Eric - This man. From day one he understood Dele didn’t have a ton of good influence in his life and vowed to fix that. Dele became part of his family, his friend group. He defended him when necessary. Not just because he was playing the part of spokesman for the team. He *knows* Dele. Knows his heart and soul. Knows how to distinguish the Dele he spends time with versus the Dele the media (and Harry) want us to see. Unlike a lot of fans across all forms of social media, Eric has ALWAYS accepted Dele for who he is and where he came from. He does not look at their “differences” in a negative light, but instead opts to agree that opposite do indeed attract - they’re proof. When he spoke about football bringing people from all different worlds together? He had just been speaking about Dele. Eric is highly aware that were it not for their *one* common interest, *one* common goal, they may have never found each other. The beautiful thing about Eric (ha) is that he can be separated from Dele in public, he can be denied the opportunity to talk about him, defend him, etc. But he’s still gonna find a way to show just how much of a role Dele plays in his life. “Separation anxiety @dele” was January 2019. A month after Eric’s emergency appendectomy - a time when, other than the picture of them on Spurs insta the first day Eric was cleared weeks prior (the same day Dele mentioned him on insta live, mhmm), those two may as well have been living on different planets. What “separation anxiety”? When were they hanging out? Unless... 👀😉 I could do this for hours, but let me stop before I *really* say too much. This is only the start.

#anonymous

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faersflower · 5 years

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not tryna be a bitch but im just wondering, what the *point* is, of reblogging/replying to s5 content, or whatever, with your emotions? i mean obviously i get being angry and im still angry too and i dont agree with the people who r upset that we r still angry. but i just do my best to ignore the people who r excited. i dont reblog their content or anything. i just interact with my circle of tm friends i still follow who still make stuff. and share posts with them to rant at in private. idk

hi last anon here sorry im kinda regretting sending that last one cause i feel like it came off different than i was intending but i just saw your post and ive been trying to figure out how i feel about the whole thing for a while cause im always hyperaware that people who make posts can see my reactions. ur post is just the one that i happened to see when i was thinking about this (1/2)

cuz i saw other conversations about people reacting and stuff in the tag and its just that im a little confused and lost at this point how to best interact in fandom after something like this. im sorry if i came across as rude and i kinda feel like i did by accident but im just trying to understand cause even tho a lot of people are being bitchy about it some people are also making some points and i dont know how to feel about it. sorry again for dumping this on you (2/2)

Okay! This is A Lot ™ but I am kinda the most Middle Lane person I guess. So *cracks knuckles*

To open I will also kind of explain myself a little bit. I myself am a fan content creator for The Magicians. I make edits, fanart, cosplay, and write fanfic for The Magicians! Also really niche and specific text posts where I go off for 45 minutes about a single Eliot outfit but that is just me being a weirdo that is Very Into Costume Design.

About your Ask;

As for avoiding the people that are excited about it I myself sort of do that? I still follow a lot of the content creators mostly because they are friends of mine. There are a couple that I definitely do not follow though because they are a little bit too enthusiastic so I myself do avoid them!

Most of my rants are in private group chats with people that are like-minded with what happened in The Magicians. So I'm not sure what you're getting at with going at me with that particular comment. The post that I made is not about The Magicians in general it's more about the fandom because there are a lot of people that are angry at people who are upset and angry still. And it was more about that and sort of an ableism sort of situation from a while ago. This is an old post that I reblogged today it's not a post that I made for today.

Not to be my stereotypical self I guess (I'm sort of like the flower child of the fandom if you will ⁠— I talk about flowers a lot as well, anyway.)

But we are all just humans. We all went through the same event. We all handled it differently. Some of us are handling it better than others yes that is correct. But those of us that are still upset are allowed to still be upset. Those of us that are excited or allowed to be excited. Do what you want be how you want Express Yourself how you want!

I mean from what I'm aware of and I was a part of Tumblr back in 2011 until 2014 before I took a break until March of last year? But especially with personal blogs that just have like an undertone of magicians to them a lot of people use personal blogs kind of like an online diary so they just kind of post how they feel? Idk posting emotions is just like "why do you write music?" "Why do you create art?" "Why do you write?"

Which can all roughly be answered with The Mortifying Ordeal of Sharing Pieces of Ourselves. We're just sharing how we feel/think/process/what we find interesting/etc into the void that is the universe and hoping for a connection out there. We're just trying our best.

That's really all I'm saying here!!

Really the whole argument that others are having (not really me, but i digress) is about tagging. And it's a bunch of people wanting to dictate how people tags things. Which I understand if it's under an umbrella tag like "The Magicians" or "Eliot Waugh" everybody that is following those tags is going to see it. So if you are tagging it with umbrella tags be prepared for people to notice it that you might not expect to.

I tag my s5/anger posts as "the magaykins" like do what you want! Do what makes you feel best about what you are putting out into the universe! But it is going out into the universe and other people will see it.

Again, I am fairly neutral as far as all of this goes. I'm really middle of the lane like I'm still upset about what happened and everything and I am not excited for season 5 but I'm still contemplating watching season 5. But I'm not like Always Making Angry Posts, either. In fact I am mostly just posting generic Magicians content lmao. I mean right now I'm working on a painting that's a scene from season 1. And then I have another painting planned but it's not from a season, it's technically from the books.

I'm just doing my own Weird Little thing here. I'm not particularly angry I just have 2 Frustrated At the Fandom posts.

Because I am! I'm just frustrated with people trying to dictate how people should feel and project on Tumblr about this particular fandom! We're all in different head spaces! We are all entirely different and separate people and we can all processes in our own ways and we're allowed to do whatever we want it's just frustrating to see people try to control others in the fandom.

That's my particular frustration.

Also just the fact that there is such a huge divide in the fandom between being excited for season 5 and pretending that season five doesn't exist. But I understand ⁠— and I get it, and there's nothing that I can really do to change that, but I also hate that we are so divided by this. But that's a Whole Other Thing. And I can't change that one, sadly.

Also I think that the people that are excited about season 5 feel like the people that aren't are like mad at them for being excited??? We aren't.

We just want to be sure that any triggering content related to the events from 4x13 are Tagged so the people that get triggered by the imagery from that scene are taken care of.

That's all ⁠— from what I am aware of from my perspective. I don't know about others this is just me.

Your local flower child, Eliot costume obsessive weirdo, that goes by Key.

#key post #the magicians #themagicians #i feel obligated to main tag here rip #sorry lol #personal nonsense

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ib-suffering · 5 years

Text

Update #3

Sooo this is a continuation of my other two updates that I posted recently. If you haven't read those and are interested in reading my thoughts on my exams, the results, and the advice I may have on any of the courses I took; they're not too far down on my blog, so they shouldn't be too hard to find (and I'm not just saying this bc I couldn't get the urls to hyperlink them on mobile 😅). But I did promise that I would finish my updates with information on my first year of college and what I've been up to recently.

Alrighty, so I spent my first year of college at Boise State University (I'll probably shorten it to BSU for most of this post).

For those of you who have never heard of Boise State, let me give you the highlights. Smack dab in the middle of downtown Boise, Idaho lies Idaho's top research institution. Which is promotional talk for: "We're a college football giant that also happens to have some sciences and liberal arts." BSU is obsessed with their football team, the players admired like celebrities, and game days turning most of the small city into a ghost town, the exception being the the small campus. That being said, BSU is very much a party school, even though it is technically a dry campus (a mistake, if you ask me, given the thousands of dollars they could make serving alcohol at games, but I digress). Boise itself is a beautiful city, and the convenience of campus being downtown and the beautiful weather from April-October makes it a treat to live in. Campus is beautiful, being right on the Boise River (which became a place I frequented when I needed a minute to myself). And Idaho itself is a beautiful state, though most of it is empty hills/farm land. This was a hard transition for me. Though my family is from Iowa (a state very similar to Idaho in many respects), I have spent most of my life in Vegas, a city that has been dubbed "the city that never sleeps" for a reason. Boise is much quieter. Most places close around 8, the rest at 10. And for someone who would take a break from homework to go grab a drink from the convenience store at 1 am, this was a shock for me. And I was very much still in that 11pm to 3 am grind from high school. Aside from that, I had mostly great professors. I am a bio major. And am planning on adding on anthropology as a second major. I bonded fast with my bio professors. I was very friendly with my comm prof, my profs, and my anthro profs. I had an on-going friendly hockey rivalry with one of my bio profs and the student teacher for my anthro class (Go Knights Go!). One of my anthro profs even offered me the opportunity to work further with him on a project I had for his classes. He was impressed with my work and I adored him as a teacher and was excited to work one-on-one with him, especially since he has a reputation for being a harsh grader. If I could impress someone like that, then I was excited to do so over and over again.

So here's the tough part to admit. I'm not at BSU right now. I'm in Vegas (which, for those that do not know, is home for me). And not in school. And know that this is difficult for me. I went from the constant grind of the IB program to sitting at home trying to get my life together. And it's been hard to accept this. Especially, especially because of the amazing opportunity I was offered. I was so proud to have been offered this as a freshman. But, I know that I have made the right choice. And my professor was very understanding, for which I am grateful, and I hope you will be too. And more than anything, I want you to take something from this story that I am about to tell. I know this has been a long post so far, and if you're still here, thank you. But stay buckled, because we're at the beginning of a saga. There will be some highs and some lows, a lot of drama with some comedic relief, and a story of friendship, how it may bitterly end or triumph over all other things. Enjoy.

Allow me to introduce you to our cast (Names will be shortened to a letter or two to keep things relatively anonymous. Shit does go down and there will be secret sharing in the hope that I can give valid advice in its wake):

L- a roommate of mine

M- another roommate

A- another roommate

C- yet another roommate, but she joins the cast a bit later

J- a great friend, met at BSU but he also happens to be from Vegas

R- an unlikely friend

T- M's friend

AG- a small group of army guys that join in later

K-potential love-interest

And I think that'll do. Now, onto the story!

I lived in a suite-style dorm. Four of us lived there, each of with individual rooms. The basic layout was two bedrooms and a bathroom on each side of the dorm with a living room, laundry unit, and kitchen in the middle. M and I shared one side while A and L shared the other. All of us were relatively shy and were placed together randomly as we hadn't used the roommate-selection app the school used. But we didn't have much issue at the beginning. I first bonded with A, introducing her to another friend early on. M and I bonded quickly as well seeing as we shared our own hall. L is fairly shy, so it took awhile longer, but it turned out that her and I just naturally click and still have a fantastic friendship to this day (Read: the same cannot be said for others in this story). L, M, and I easily worked around each other, with each other. A spent most time in her room or at work, but things still seemed pleasant with her. However, she didn't seem like she wanted to hang out with us whenever we did things as a group, so we stopped knocking on her door to ask.

Over the next many weeks, things grew more tense. It was gradual, so none of us were fully aware at the time, but looking back, it was obvious. M invited me to go with her to T's apartment one night. Her and I were interested in drinking (side note: it's up to you imo if you wish to drink in college, but I will insist: always have someone sober around. They will make sure you are safe the the location you are at, get home safe, and will be there for you to help you through your lowest moments and to recount them with you in the morning). T had alcohol. We partaked a little, and I got to get to know T and his roommate, K. It was a good night.

The next night, however, was the breaking point. M and I went over to T and K's again, but this time they took us to a party a floor below their's. We definitely had more to drink that night. I discovered my bartending skills that night, M found her limit and blacked out, and K and I got to hang out a bit more. K had a sober friend that drove us back to the dorm that night. They also helped us upstairs (remember, sober friend). M and I were definitely loud and giggling, and A came out her room to yell at us about not being able to sleep because of our behavior and our upstairs neighbors partying (a nightly occurrence). She went back to her room, slamming the door behind her. L also came out of her room, but instead of yelling at us, she help us through the drunkenness and eventual vomiting, staying up the whole night to do so.

The favour was repaid when M and I picked her up from her first party and walked her home. We stayed by the bathroom all night to make sure she was okay. And it was good to be able to repay the favour.

A felt alienated. And as I said before, that night was the breaking point. The next day, M, L, and I woke up to a letter on our kitchen table outlining her grievances. She didn't feel like our friend. We didn't invite her out anymore, we weren't there for her when she needed us, and she felt like it had to do with our drinking and her not wanting to.

The three of us sat on my side of the dorm, with the hall door closed. And we read the letter and talked it through. We felt bad that she felt that way, but we knew that we never intended that. And that we couldn't be blamed for it all. And that a letter shouldn't have been left for us. That if we were going to resolve this, we would do it in person. This is lesson number two. Resolve things face to face. Children fight through notes/texts/letters. As adults, we knew that we had to sit down together and talk it through. It's hard. You will be nervous. But it made that conversation better. We invited her out and it was awkward. But we went down the list. We made compromises, we learned more about each other. And though things were still tense afterwards, no one felt uncomfortable in their own home. And that's what mattered.

Fast forward to the end of the semester. A moved out. It wasn't because of us, she also had family problems and she wanted to move in with her boyfriend in Texas. We understood and left things on amicable terms. They're engaged now. I'm happy for them.

January. New semester. M, L, and I are living well. T comes over occasionally. K does too, he's also our alc plug. Him and I are still talking, but not much is happening there. I haven't mentioned C yet, but we met her the previous semester, but start hanging out more this semester. She knows that A moved out and is interested in moving in with us. We originally agreed, but after talking about it amongst the three of us, we weren't sure about it. Nevertheless, she moves in.

And it seems to be going well, and we made friends with J through a friend of her's. We host people often, and I play bartender. One of these nights, we run into K and invite him and a neighbor over to play cards. K and I flirt a little, but I was also busy hosting. C and K meet for the first time here.

They start hanging out a bit, and I don't think much of it. Then, she starts gushing over him, talking about his eyes and what their kids would look like. It felt obvious that she was far more into him than I was. So I was nice about it, and let it be.

She ended up just sleeping with him and dropping him only to trash talk him to M, L, and I. This is not the only time she had done this to the guys we had met and become friends with, including T and J, who we met through a guy she did this to. T and J were pretty much her only fails. I bring this up because it had an affect on the rest of us. I'm all for doing whatever you want as long as everyone consents, but this was not just affecting her and it was toxic.

It was difficult to make friends. It stirred up drama. And it lead to the next breaking point. In February, (for context, this is just a few weeks after she moved in), the AG drove out to stay with us for a weekend. C was interested in one of them. So was M. He was interested in M. C is getting upset over this, and decides to demand that M leave for the rest of the weekend. I didn't want her to, but C was already talking shit about me to other people and I didn't want to stir up more drama. Neither did L. I guess we hadn't learned our lesson.

M moved out. And this time it was completely our fault. And I felt awful. I tried to apologize. L did too. But the damage was done. And the bond that I had formed with M was instantaneously gone. I understood it was for the better and M left us with one request: do something about C.

L and I left that night. She wanted to go home for the night, feeling sick about the whole thing. I asked to go along. I didn't have classes the next day. We spent almost the whole night driving around talking it through. M was right, but we didn't know where to start with C. So we sat there, exploring the city, sober as could be (literally and metaphorically), and made a pact that we wouldn't let the same happen to either one of us.

We couldn't be direct about it. A talk wouldn't help. Actions speak louder than words. Because not only were L and I more strict. Not allowing ourselves give in to her whims, but we also had J. He especially didn't given in. And that frustrated her. L spent more time on her own, talking to me when she could. That frustrated her. I spent more time on my own, getting more work done. Shutting myself into my hall and letting the guilt sink in. I even invited over M and T to chat and collect her forgotten things while she was away. I wasn't going to be there to allow her to use us for her habits. And that frustrated her. She wanted the attention and she got none. And lo-and-behold, she started shit talking me again. To L. And everyone she met. It did nothing.

Here comes in R. He was the next one in a string of guys that she was using and cheating on. We didn't expect for him to be around long. None of them were, but C headed home for a weekend and suggested we invite him to hang out. Okay. I did. And both times he came over were great, he easily slipped into a friendship with L, J, and I.

He asked L and I to be honest with him. He felt insecure about the relationship he had with C. Though we were hesitant to say anything, he insisted that he would rather have the truth.

Okay. Have it.

And we knew he'd be better for it. And he was. And so was our friendship. And C was pissed. But she didn't know it was us who said anything. But she decided that he left her for L. And accused her of it.

Nope. He just needed us to be good friends. And he stuck around. And that infuriated her. And we found it easier to stand up against her fits because of it. Don't want him around? Sorry, he's our friend. And maybe you think we're horrible people for that, but we had put up with enough. And it was about time we fulfilled our promise to M.

And soon enough, C moved out. Not because of us, but other reasons. And R kinda moved in (not that our RA knew). R, J, L, and I were happy amongst ourselves for what was the last month of the school year.

Now, that was a lot. I know, I'm sorry. But I hope it was at least an interesting read. It wasn't everything that happened. And I purposely left some stuff out. Though I made an effort to keep things anon, some secrets are not mine to tell. Even if you'll never know these individuals, but especially because you don't know them.

While all of this was happening, I made poor decisions otherwise in regards to drinking. My friends back home were worried. My mental health was going down fast. Previously discussed events may have contributed, but I did push aside self-care in high school in favour of doing school work. And with a less-occupied mind in college, the symptoms only grew worse and perhaps that lead to more drinking. I'm not sure, but I do know that I wasn't doing well at all by the time spring break rolled around. And I worried those closest to me. And they made that clear this summer.

On top of that, BSU is out-of-state for me. And those problems from home didn't go away. And my experience was made worse by that, the events described here and many more, and my financials. I know most in America struggle to pay for school, but it was such a burden on me. It made it difficult to sleep at night, the focus on work, and loomed over every experience I had.

So, the lesson to be learned here is this: take care of yourself. Know your limits. I know it's easier said than done, but it's the only thing that will get you through college. I needed out of an environment that was causing me grief and guilt. I needed to address the problems I had been putting off. And I needed to be realistic about the types of stress I can handle. School, though stressful at times, is an easier stress to handle because the solution is relatively easy to achieve. Financial stressors are difficult to handle because they're long term and can affect how I live the rest of my life (not to say school doesn't, but you can go back to school at 40 but most of us will still be paying for the schooling we got at 18 when we're 40). I still owe BSU money, but not much. And I'm working on paying it off. And then I want to transfer in-state. Get the cheap tuition. My scholarship. And more stability.

BSU wasn't all bad, but it wasn't good for me either. And there's no shame in taking a break and transferring elsewhere. And I had to convince myself of that. And it's still hard to cope with the idea some days. But I'm happier overall. And I've maintained my friendships with L, R, and J. And they all understand.

Again, I'm sorry this was such a long read. But I hope you've gained something from this. If anybody actually read this far... In fact, if you had, could you do me a solid and leave a reply or drop something in my inbox? It'll be nice to know if someone actually read all of this. And thank you so much if you had. I really appreciate it.

#ib suffering #ib #ib problems #international baccalaureate #college #sorry this is long #i think i lied about the comedy #oops #sorry #usually my sadness is disguised by jokes #but this was long enough ig

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retphienix · 7 years

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Game Recommendations

It's my birthday today and I thought I'd make something of the day and share some games I think some of you might like to give a shot.

Most of these are games I've played on the blog.

Without wasting more time on 'my special day' here's some games I love or like a heck of a lot and think more people should check out.

Final Fantasy Tactics

Yeah, I'm sorry.

I know plenty of you have heard me gush enough, from my character analysis, to one of my first playthroughs on this blog that was done in a terrible quality, to my more recent dive into FFTA in which I constantly complained and referenced FFT.

But I couldn't honestly make a recommendation list without it.

FFT is the best, bar none, tactical/strategy RPG I've ever played.

The job system lets you do so much that it has lead me to be disappointed with so many other games that claim they offer the same plethora of options because frankly, they rarely do.

Seeing as I've gushed plenty on this title already, I'll just say my piece.

If you like RPGs, or job systems, or the Fire Emblem series, or Final Fantasy, or just think it sounds fun to experiment with different party makeups while playing through the best FF story (full stop), this game is worth picking up in any way you can.

I've always been partial to the original version on PS which you can pick up in a couple forms digitally, but I have to say my taste between the original and remake flips back and forth all the time because holy cow that remake is good.

The original has a translation job that I enjoy more and a few key moments in the story are presented much more intensely in the original due to that translation, the remake adds two new job classes, a new more uniform translation, a few new unique characters, and AWESOME AS CAN BE CUTSCENES.

The remake originally came out on the PSP and can be picked up on iOS as well.

Dragon Ball Xenoverse 2

I've been posting a lot of little things about this game lately and I figure it's about time I explain why. I also feel like I should because I’ve honestly annoyed the heck out of my cousin trying to drag him into the title for weeks now.

I heard about the Xenoverse games through ProJared's videos and figured I'd pick up the newest since I'm a ridiculously huge DB fan and I haven't really enjoyed the games too much since almost all of them are fighting games.

(A genre I wish I had the patience for but every time I try I just find myself bored knowing how much research I need on each character or annoyed at how precise some of the controls can be when I haven't even decided the game was worth the dedication needed to learn those controls, but I digress)

The only DB game I've enjoyed before this was one of the Legacy of Goku titles for GBA, though I always thought the Budokai games looked really cool I just never owned them.

BUT THIS GAME.

Holy cow this game.

I got it for Christmas nearly eight months ago and told myself I'd play it once I had some free time. Eight months later I finally throw it in the console for more than 30 minutes (I had made a few characters when I got the game but didn't do a single thing) and I honestly struggled to stop playing.

It's the kind of game I wish DB went for more often. It's fighting, yeah, but it's freeform with simple controls and combos that feel more like Dynasty Warriors in simplicity while giving you SO MANY OPTIONS.

Sure you have basic combos, but you can interrupt them at any point and those combos chain into each other for unique elongated combos AND THAT'S BEFORE CONSIDERING ALL YOUR SUPERS AND ULTRAS.

Every possible move from the dragon ball series seems to be included and you can pepper them in however you please.

A video or two would do better than this truncated description, but this is the game that fulfilled years of wanting to play a good dragon ball game for me.

I can hop online and knock around all my favorite villains and heroes with my custom character utilizing all the coolest moves whenever I want, and it's awesome.

If you like DB or think creating a character with tons of potential move combinations in this style of gameplay sounds fun, GO FOR IT. (I’m playing on PS4 if you want to play together :D, it’s my birthday so I’m going to use smilies so take that attempts at uniform post quality!)

Suikoden

Thankfully, after having to stop myself from gushing for a few pages about DB Xenoverse 2, I don't have to say much about this title as I did a full playthrough on this blog already.

This is a quality RPG with fast paced combat, fun quirks to said combat to keep it interesting, oh, and ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHT recruitable characters.

I love this game, and I recommend this one over it's sequel (which was unbelievably good and the starting point I had for the series) purely because what this title lacks compared to the second, it makes up for with MUCH better intermission sequences.

If you have an RPG itch and like games with unique characters in your party then there is no question as to whether you should or shouldn't play this.

Pick it up in any way you possibly can.

Faxanadu

I was short in my post about this game but, honestly, I don't have much to say about it other than it's really fun and interesting.

A great NES rpg-ish game that you can (especially if you're garbage like me and use save states for boss fights in the late game, yes I did that, yes I should be ashamed) beat in a single day on the weekend.

Oh, and it’s wonderfully somber with great monster design and all of this comes on the NES.

Star Wars Republic Commando

Since I went and recommended four games that have already been on this blog before, here's one that hasn't been beaten to death here.

Republic Commando goes down as my favorite star wars game, even higher on the list than KOTOR.

It's the only SW game that focuses entirely on those in the universe that aren't god-level force wielding Jedi/Sith or top level smugglers/bounty hunters.

You're the leader of a commando squad for the Republic. A "key" role in some respects, but overall you're just another pair of boots on the ground.

The missions are all believable military practices you'd expect the Republic to be undertaking, primarily sabotaging the droid menace whenever possible.

This game excels everywhere I didn't expect it to. Extremely enjoyable characters (who are CLONES written to fall into ARCHTYPE CLICHES and yet they are LIKABLE AS HECK), interesting squad controls that are simple yet expertly crafted, Foley that got me interested in Foley in the first place, a story that’s interests because it’s the backroom of what matters in the movies or other games (ground war).

I don't know what to say aside from pointing out that this is a fantastic shooter with an amazing take on the star wars universe, primarily because it focuses on the gritty war going on rather than the glitz and glamour of the high tier force powered individuals.

Oh, and the squad controls are really fun.

There are plenty of games I wish would come back from their graves, and Republic Commando goes right on that shelf next to Chromehounds as franchises left to rot for not fitting the stereotypes well enough.

Chrome is a slow mech game and RC is a star wars game without lightsabers.

You're apparently just not allowed to do those things.

There's five for the day.

I hope you all have a good day, I'm going to try and sleep right through the rest of mine. ~R

#Final Fantasy Tactics #Suikoden #Star Wars Republic Commando #Faxanadu #Dragon Ball Xenoverse 2 #Retphienix

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jamfingers · 7 years

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Some Background on That One Super Famous Cluster B Personality Disorder and Some Brief Meta Tying It to Kai Parker’s Problematic (but Fine AF) Ass Because I Said I Would Do This

Okay, this isn’t a research paper, so I’m not going to put ref points throughout the post, but I’ll write down the full names of the texts and articles I used at the bottom in case you’re interested in checking them out yourself. Some info/pics come from old annotated notes, but I likely will only use those for examples provided by previous professors. NONE of these visuals are mine, they’re copyrighted and I’m posting them for educational purposes. I’m making no profit off of this. Obviously. This is a damn fan blog.

First off, lets talk behavior and psychopathology, then I’ll get into like...the barest bit of some of the complex anatomy and physiology behind them. Then I’ll talk Kai Parker a little and how he fits this. This post is gonna be hellaciously long, since it’s an academic reference/meta, so read more under the cut:

Personality is something pervasive, long term, and generally not mutable in a person. And individual’s personality will develop in childhood and are measured by rating the general patterns of disordered conduct/socializing of traits known as the big 5: neuroticism, extraversion, openness to experience, agreeableness, and conscientiousness. These traits, like anything dealing with the mind, are measured on a spectrum and patterns of extremely high pervasiveness of traits in some areas and extremely low pervasiveness in others that results in a diminished or troubled quality of life is what results in a personality disorder.

Personality disorders are sorted into 3 groups called clusters:

Kai falls into cluster B - he has antisocial personality disorder (ASPD from here on, can also be noted as APD), historically called “sociopathy”. ASPD is more commonly diagnosed in men than in women, (although this might be in part due to societal/gender biases of both the patient and the clinician, but I digress), with a prevalence in the clinical population of 3.9-5.9% and in the general population of 1.0%-1.8%. It’s rare, but not the rarest personality disorder by any means. No unicorns here.

I personally denote ASPDers as the biggest con-artist assholes you’ll ever have the displeasure of meeting, but that’s not very academic, so I’ll copy my one of my textbook’s format and break this up into a few categories. More information can be found in references.

Clinical Description And Criteria:

“I am entitled to break rules.”

That right there is the sun with which ASPD revolves around. The disorder is characterized by extreme selfishness and disregard for others, highly impulsive and risky behavior (like drug use, reckless stunts, fighting), and unusual emotional responses and fits of rage, but no deficits in reasoning ability. People with ASPD know what they’re doing, understand the social norms/ rules behind them and don’t care. In regards to the Big 5 personality traits this is what they look like (L is low, H is high):

And diagnostic criteria for ASPD on the DSM-5 looks like this:

YOU HAVE TO HAVE DISPLAYED CONDUCT DISORDER AS A CHILD TO BE DIAGNOSED WITH ASPD AFTER 18. Remember an individual’s personality develops in childhood and is long-lasting. Conduct disorder in children is diagnosed with this criteria:

ASPD has a pretty high heritabilty (about 40-50%) and it’s fostered in hostile environments characterized by lack of warmth, exposure to violence, high negativity, parental inconsistency or parental ASPD, and/or poverty.

While ASPD is associated with poor impulse control, there is still no deficit in reasoning ability. ASPDers with a high intelligence quotient (IQ) are less likely to get caught or engage in illegal or destructive behavior because they know the game. They’d rather be free to fuck people over than in a system and can be quite adept at hiding their traits. This leads me to psychopathy. There’s still some debate about whether psychopathy should be considered different from ASPD, but most clinicians these days agree that psychopathy as a subset of symptoms that fall under ASPD. So just like all squares are rectangles, but not all rectangles are squares, all psychopaths (at this point) are ASPDers, but not all ASPDers are psychopaths.

Psychopathy:

Defining characteristics of psychopathy include:

If you’re having a hard time reading this, the red and blue branches indicate what aspects of psychopathy are influenced by what bit of anatomy dysregulation. AMG - amygdala, PCC - posterior cingulate cortex, MPFC - medial prefrontal cortex. The coronal slices (red, bottom blue) are as if you’re looking at a person face to face - your left is their right. Top blue is scanned from the right side (See that scrunchy round thing behind the straight part? Below the “PCC”? That’s the cerebellum behind the brain stem. It’s in the back of your head, to help with orientation.) Middle blue is as if you and the person are facing the same direction, but you’re taller and looking straight down on their head. Hope that helps you out!

In general, with regards to criminal behavior, high IQ psychopaths are called “subclinical” psychopaths and are not generally studied bc...well, they blend in. They find other, legal or discreet ways to fulfill thrill seeking behavior.

Psychopathy has some actual distinct differences in the brain that can be physiologically measured. It’s typically shown by differences in the the right amygdala and the anterior rostral prefrontal cortex (arPFC from here on), especially on the right side. (The right hemisphere of the brain is responsible for emotional recognition and expression, while the amygdala controls fear responses/recognition and the PFC in general controls different aspects of higher cognition. In this case, it’s likely the conversion of emotionality to morality, since emotions play a large part in fostering sympathy and from there moral judgement.) See?

Integrative Biopsychosocial Model of APD:

Bio (Genetics and neurobiology): Twin and adoption studies show that ASPD is highly heritable, but it’s the gene-environment interaction that is integral for ASPD development. ASPD is an endophenotype - the underlying aspects of disorder are genetic (low levels serotonin and dopamine (the chemical neurotransmitters), or in the case of psychopaths, low levels of serotonergic or dopaminergic axons (the anatomy that receives the NT)) and provide the unique emotional aspects of ASPD, but the social behavior presentation is guided by the environment (early childhood stress, lack of social guidance, etc). The arousal theory, if you’re interested, is based of the endophenotypes and can explain how certain behaviors arise from them (i.e. ASPDers, esp. psychopaths, are stimulation seeking bc of low response in reward systems (serotonergic/dopaminergic)). *I add on dopamine bc it’s an important chemical in the brain’s reward system, but serotonin is the key one.

Psychosocial (mental and environmental): Inconsistent parental punishments, lack of punishment for aggressive/antagonist behavior, environments that propagate violence, high risk-reward and fearless psychology all lend themselves to the development of the disorder.

The disorder is like a measuring cup and each influence is water filling it until the water level reaches the mark where the disorder presents itself.

When it comes to ASPD, prevention, not treatment is preferred. Redirecting behavior patterns in kids with conduct disorder is your best bet compared to trying to get a fully formed, highly aggressive ASPD adult to behave.

Here’s a case study from my abnormal psych textbook depicting what the you’d most likely see in clinical ASPD case (i.e. in “the system” , like prison or a hospital):

(See why I said con-artists asshole? Ryan’s a fucking dick.)

References:

“Abnormal Psychology: An Integrative Approach” 7th Edition, David H. Barlow & V. Mark Durand {This is the book I used in my psychopathology class, which is for...understanding pathologies of the mind lol.}

“Neuroscience” 5th Edition, Dale Purves {Great book for detailed anatomy and physiology of neural circuits, and I didn’t get into like I could, but the emotion chapter is dense and that’s a lot of info to slam you with.}

“The Foundations of Behavioral Neuroscience” 9th Edition, Neil R. Carlson {Easy to read and a great general capstone text}

Okay, so now that we got the science, on to Kai Parker:

Right, so I think it’s safe to say that, canonically, Kai mostly fits the criteria for ASPD, but you’re def free to go back over all that up there and do your own comparison. We all know how Kai is an admitted “sociopath”. Considering Joshua Parker’s behavior, we can probably take a gander on the genetic component and considering the entire Gemini premise, plus the way Kai in particular was raised as the outsider in his family, we have an idea of the hostile and warmth-lacking environment that fostered it.

Because it’s TVD, I do think Kai was written to cater that whole “handsome, suburban white boy gone wrong” schtick, but I also think he’s one of the most subtly well-fleshed characters that show ever produced. There’s this one article I read for a neuro lit course (“Loneliness and associated violent antisocial behavior: analysis of the case reports of Jeffrey Dahmer and Dennis Nilsen.” authored by W.H. Martens and G.B. Palmero) that really stuck to me in a pervasive way and it’s about how chronically festering feelings of neglect and loneliness, of feeling like an unaccepted outsider, drove Dahmer and Nilsen to take their victim’s lives in a misguided way to dissuade the loneliness.

Having read that makes me wonder how Kai, the fictional serial killer, reflects his real life counterparts. The drive for merging and becoming coven leader is something that would force others to acknowledge him, which ties into his “black sheep” speech, his “I was never hugged as a child and my siblings were kept away” complaint (There are a lot of inconsistencies in his dialogued back story that bother me, but it makes me wonder if he ever lied about his past: “my favorite memory is when I finally beat him to death” and the preceding story about Mario Kart with the bby bro seems like something he might have just made up to fuck with Elena), and other vocalizations he’s made about his past which point to him being the misfit and desiring a sense of belonging. While we know Kai’s ASPD is a part of his characterization, this to me seems out of the norm for this disorder, simply because it indicates an understanding of sympathy that is unwittingly emotional.

Of course, Kai could also just want to be able to lord the world’s biggest “FU!” over his abusers.

Either way, anti or not, when using the ASPD/sociopath argument to defend or dismantle Kai as a character, I think it’s a good idea to keep in mind that Kai was written inconsistently. He shows very little impulsivity or recklessness in 1994, one trait which is almost a given with ASPD, nor was he flightly/irresponsible. He always had some end-goal or plan in mind. This was pre-merge. But he was also manipulative and showed no regret about the people he hurt. Obviously, each case of the disorder is unique because they exist on a spectrum, but the pattern and criteria are there due to broad commonalities in each case. The way the media tends to portray ASPD is not all consistent with the way the disorder presents irl.

#Kai parker #ASPD info #antisocial personality disorder #kai parker meta #tvd meta #bonkai #which I mean...i guess

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loveinthebones · 7 years

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u r so pathetic undertale is lame and the fact that u ship a fucking goat and a SKELETON says so much about u. and ur a phangirl of course. because we need more teenie boppers like that polluting this site. THEY ARE JUST FRIENDS GET A LIFE AND STOP WRITING SLASH U NASTY FUCK

*Deep breath*

I cannot– Anon, sit down and zip that lip. This is going to be a wild post because just–no.

If you think Undertale is lame, then why bother staying on my blog which is (currently) mainly UT themed? It even says in my heading (the little description of the blog) that I am Undertale Trash so WHY? ARE? YOU? HERE?

But, I digress. I’m not offended that you don’t like UT as everyone has their own tastes and opinions. I like UT and you do not. We can agree to disagree and leave it at that or have a discussion about why we feel differently. There is no need for drama. But why bring ship preferences into this if you don’t like UT?

Soriel is a ship of mine, yes but so are many others. I enjoy the aspects of mashing up characters and seeing how their relationships can develop based on what background and occurrences we know. It’s the reason I say that I ship all the ships because for me-taking different lives and meshing them-is interesting and believable when it is well done.

Or perhaps it is the fact that Toriel is a goat and Sans a skeleton that is the issue? In which case, I can’t help you. Those are the character designs and monsters can fall in love with a monster of a different species. Or a human. Or whatever else. (Not only that but there is such a thing as a furry. It’s a kink that people can have.)

OR Is it my fanfiction writing that bothers you? I haven’t just written slash. I’ve written male/female and female/female as well. Have you read my work because it seems perhaps phan maybe your real issue with me in which case-

I HAVE NOT WRITTEN A SINGLE PHANFIC.

And even if I HAD- it isn’t an issue unless someone is sending it to Dan and Phil over and over and being, “LOOK AT THIS.” without them requesting that. Some people write fanfiction and ship people and that’s okay as long as the real persons are respected and their privacy is not invaded. I have said for a while *I* wouldn’t do it because real people have their REAL experiences and speculating on that is a bit uncomfortable to me because I could be totally wrong. It’s a thing. I don’t know.

What are these words spewed by other people doing to you? Nothing. You can choose to exit or blacklist tags.

But I enjoy reading them as I enjoy creative writing and the storylines/what-ifs people can come up with. It’s beautiful and awe-inspiring what people can do with the spark of imagination Dan and Phil bring to them. They are creating and bringing something to the world to share with others who share their interests and seek them out.

Another thing- writing takes time to develop so if a young teen (which I am not) decides to write a thing…it’s bound to have mistakes as they are young or just haven’t found their flow. Constructive criticism can help improve their skills but bashing them for the SUBJECT of the fic does not. Don’t like, don’t read was a mantra at FF.Net for a reason.

And I DO NOT CARE IF DAN AND PHIL ARE DATING. I ENJOY THEM AS PEOPLE AND CONTENT CREATORS AND THEIR DYNAMIC WHETHER IT IS PLATONIC OR NOT.

I HAVE POSTED LITERALLY 4 DAN AND PHIL POSTS. ONLY MY PERSONAL ENTRY ABOUT READING PHANFIC FOR THE FIRST TIME WAS SHIPPY SO KINDLY BACK OFF. THERE IS OTHER YOUTUBERS ON THIS BLOG TOO.

And if you do watch Dan and Phil (which I suspect you might and are a non-shipper), I HIGHLY doubt either of them would be happy with this sort of interaction and not only THAT but you sent this insinuating that (What you believed was) a younger member of their audience is trash because they are a fangirl. DAN WAS/IS A FANBOY OF PHIL’S(Phil Trash number one? No?) AND IS INVOLVED IN OTHER FANDOMS. I’M SURE HE GETS IT. AND PHIL DOES TOO I’M SURE.

Yes, there is bad writing and cringe inducing things but that comes along with fandom territory and makes it more enjoyable. There are bad things and cringy situations too in real life.

In other words: Leave my blog and take your negativity with you. You don’t have to like what I like or ship what I ship but treating another human being as trash because of their interests is horrible and makes you a fuck waffle.

I am going to go and enjoy this book I’ve been wanting to read. Good day.

#Kat answers the lovelies #OR NOT IN THIS CASE LIKE DAMN #Nonnies nonnies nonnies #Fandom wank #Phan #Undertale #Delete Later

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aridara · 4 years

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So back in September I exchanged some messages with a complete imbecile called “lala-slave-labor”; then they made a post where they published the conversation, framing it as “crazy person tried to convert me”. Even though all I did was pointing out that their idea of “free speech” was completely impossible, because...

They initially claimed that limiting the speech of bigots is not “freedom”.

However, I pointed out that, when bigots are left free to spread hate speech, this INEVITABLY results in bigots limiting the speech of their victims.

Therefore, Lala’s solution was that bigots and marginalized people should “compromise”.

...Which is against Lala’s definition of “freedom” (see point 1).

Anyway, Lala deactivated, but SYABM was one of the few people who reblogged it, uncritically siding with Lala (because of COURSE he is). Anyway, post under the cut.

For easier reading, Lala’s messages are bolded, while mine are not.

lala-slave-labor + aridara

lala-slave-labor I have seen your posts. Do you honestly believe everything you post? Do you honestly believe everyone else that is sane is with you on this?

09/03/2020 aridara Be more vague.

09/03/2020 lala-slave-labor The shit you post a lot about

09/03/2020 aridara MORE.

lala-slave-labor Shit you were postin’ yesterday, you dense mother fucker.

aridara M O R E

lala-slave-labor Do you fight for racial justice? since you’re a daft cunt

aridara Yes.

lala-slave-labor ACAB?

aridara The system is completely fucked up, from how management completely fails to make cops take responsibility for pretty much anything, to how cops are trained. So more like “tear down everything and start over”.

lala-slave-labor Everything?

aridara Yep.

lala-slave-labor Even how America does elections?

aridara What does the USA electoral system have to do with the USA police system?

lala-slave-labor the politicians set how the cops do their job

aridara Hold on, you mean the USA presidential elections or… pretty much every other political election in the USA? Given that they use two very different systems?

lala-slave-labor The politicians make the policies.

Are you even American?

aridara No.

lala-slave-labor Yet America is a racist country?

aridara Maybe you should ask non-white people in America.

lala-slave-labor I am not-white

aridara With all due respect, you are one and they are legion.

lala-slave-labor non-whites are a hive mind? A collective? We all believe the same things?

aridara No.

lala-slave-labor “you’re the only one and they are legion” you so sure?

aridara It’s similar to your body: every cell has a different opinion, and yet you aren’t dissolving in a pile of molten flesh just because half your body wants to go in one direction and half in another.

lala-slave-labor Do all or 90+% black people hate cops? Are cops killing blacks because they’re black?

aridara 1) I don’t know. Probably.

2) They are much more harsh towards black people for no reason* other that they’re black. (*: Reasons that are directly contradicted by their actions are ignored.)

lala-slave-labor I haven’t been shot or arrested because I’m not white. None of the other non-whites here haven’t been shot. Where are you getting your information?

aridara ……Are you claiming that non-white Americans do NOT get shot? Because that’s wizardry.

lala-slave-labor Mostly by non-white people… Have you been to American big cities?

aridara Fun fact: most crimes involving white criminals affect white people. And yet, white people have literally never cared about white-on-white crime. To your question: no.

lala-slave-labor Because, at least where I live (a 90+% white state, with a sub-10% crime rate), no one gets shot or arrested. It’s big news when it happens, and that’s because it happens…ohhhh, maybe once a year, if not rarer.

lala-slave-labor Where are you getting your information?

09/03/2020 aridara God.

lala-slave-labor What? Straight up… Gee Oh Dee God?

aridara Also lots of people, for They are Her creation, and They are the Many to Her One.

lala-slave-labor How do you feel about gay people? Trans people?

aridara They face a lot of discrimination and should get the same rights as everyone else. Also, I don’t get why transphobes are literally obsessed with genitals - especially those of children. It’s super creepy.

lala-slave-labor God does not approve. And God is just and good. Soooooo

aridara Different God.

lala-slave-labor There’s only 1 God. But which God is this?

aridara In pretty much all monotheistic religions, the name of the god is literally the word for “god”.

lala-slave-labor “they’re all the same”

aridara No, they are not. Christianity is a lot different than Islam, for instance.

lala-slave-labor Islam always kills the gays based religion

aridara Nope. There’s tons of Islam currents that are pro-LGBT.

lala-slave-labor That’s a vast minority.

aridara Fun fact: there were quite a few major currents in the Middle Ages where forcibily converting other people into Islam was punished with exile at best, death penalty at worst. Also, “vast minority” is pretty inaccurate.

lala-slave-labor Have you spoken to many muslims?

aridara Yes.

lala-slave-labor More than 1000

aridara They treat people like ISIS in the same way I would treat, say, Mussolini. And yes. Have YOU?

lala-slave-labor You won’t believe me.

aridara I believe a lot of things.

lala-slave-labor like Social Justice?

aridara But, admittedly, not EVERYTHING. For example… Do you know someone in real life well enough that you know their tumblr username, and yet you have no idea what their name is?

lala-slave-labor No

aridara Exactly.

lala-slave-labor Nice deflection.

aridara I got someone claiming that ten people do that: they know me in real life well enough to know what’s my Tumblr blog, but not my name.

It’s whack.

lala-slave-labor Do you believe in that social justice?

aridara But enough venting.

Yes, I DO believe in Social Justice.

lala-slave-labor Yikes you have a lot of mental illnesses, don’t you?

aridara No. But I have scoliosis.

aridara …You’re searching “scoliosis” on Wikipedia, aren’t you.

lala-slave-labor Crooked spine no I know a chick with that condition But I digress, do people who don’t believe in social justice have mental illnesses?

aridara No?!? That’s like saying that people who prefer Star Trek to Star Wars have mental illnesses. It’s nonsense.

lala-slave-labor Didn’t you recently post “Trump supporters are racist”?

aridara I’m pretty sure that I did. And I stand by it.

That, or they’re ACCIDENTALLY racist.

And honestly, I don’t know which is worse.

lala-slave-labor I guess I, a non-white, is racist somehow

aridara By supporting a massive racist, which fucks over non-white people in general you included? Yes.

lala-slave-labor And an immigrant

aridara Look, if you voted for a guy so racist that frikkin NIXON told him to cut it off, maybe you should pause and think about what you’re doing.

lala-slave-labor He’s better than Biden, by miles.

aridara In terms of bigotry or in terms of competence?

lala-slave-labor Both

aridara Because we’re talking about the guy who managed to bankrupt a casino. Multiple times. How the FUCK do you manage to bankrupt a casino.

lala-slave-labor That’s retarded, bro

aridara I guess if you get bombed, or if there’s some kind of natural disaster… But neither of these applies to Trumpadilladilladome, house of the Drumpatilladimmsdimmatrumbadillampadome. ™

lala-slave-labor “he ain’t competent, he let a business go bankrupt hurr hurr” My people, my neighbors matter. The rest of world can burn for all I care.

aridara MULTIPLE businesses go bankrupt. Including ones that, if you start up with some capital (like him), they’re pretty much impossible to bankrupt. Hold on, let me Google it.

lala-slave-labor Trump has been good for my community. We also don’t have many dead by cop black people here

aridara Six bankruptcies (is that the plural for “bankruptcy”?) between hotels and casinos.

lala-slave-labor Outta how many?

aridara I don’t know about the hotels, but casinos have a 100% bankruptcy rate.

lala-slave-labor Yet our economy, pre-covid, was amazing.

aridara 5 casinos. Until he decided to intervene personally, instead of changing the directives of Obama and Bush. Trump Steaks evaporated.

lala-slave-labor I support racism, bro. Nothin’ wrong with that.

aridara As for Trump University [pre-registered laughter] Racism is pseudoscience.

lala-slave-labor “we’re all the same”

aridara In big numbers? Yes.

lala-slave-labor If racism is fake pseudoscience, how come we gotta end racism? It ain’t real.

aridara Because a lot of people still believe that it’s not only true, but a valid science.

lala-slave-labor Where are you getting these sources?

aridara “Oh, look, I proved that black people have a much lower IQ than white ones! I compared poor black people that couldn’t finish school because they had to work to support their own families, and white college students that studied how to solve IQ tests for years!” That was from Stormfront, by the way. Not an exact quote - obviously - but the sentiment was there.

lala-slave-labor And yet I put in less work but got better grades than my white peers. It benefit me, so not a problem.

aridara With all the due respect, you have a Spider Georg situation.

lala-slave-labor what?

lala-slave-labor Is it because I’m not white?!

lala-slave-labor But I don’t eat spiders.

lala-slave-labor Why are you commenting in American politics?

aridara Spite. Also, America influences the rest of the world, for better or for worse. For example, Trump’s election significantly increased the amount of right-winf extremists in my country, followed by a sharp increase in the suicide rate of said extremists.

lala-slave-labor Sorry you live in a country that is so weak that other nations can mess with it. I don’t go around saying “hey, guys and gals from (your country), don’t vote for that guy”. You don’t have that PRIVILEGE.

lala-slave-labor Your country affects America, too. But I don’t go around tellin’ your people who to vote for.

lala-slave-labor Why are you so spiteful? What’d Trump (and/or America) do to you?

aridara Do I have to list all the waya Trump messed up with international politics and encouraged the rise of right-wing extremists in pretty much all of Europe? Not to mention the fact that he is Putin’s ally, to the point of repeatedly breaking the law for free just to save hostile Russian agents?

lala-slave-labor Right-wing bad, huh? You’re the good guys, on the right side of history, yeah?

lala-slave-labor Freedom is absolute. Everyone can say what they want, and it’s not a crime. Someone said a slur? So what, they have that damn freedom.

lala-slave-labor From what my aunt and grand mother said, in Germany, Merkle invited them in herself. Did it to themselves.

lala-slave-labor They orchestrated the fall of the EU. No one liked the EU. There was never any good reason to stick with that fascist hell state.

lala-slave-labor humans yearn, nay DEMAND freedom!

aridara Funny, because hate crimes - including murder - significantly increased. By the way: absolute free speech is impossible. You either limit bigotry, or you end up with bigotry’s victims being silenced.

lala-slave-labor And we have a moral mandate to stop discrimination and hate speech?

aridara I mean, if you don’t want people like us advocating in favor of sending people like you + your families + your friends death and rape threats every single day for the rest of your life. Especially the children.

lala-slave-labor What’re you proposing we do to ensure all is safe and welcome? We can’t just let everyone do as they please, right? I mean, words kill, right?

09/04/2020 lala-slave-labor What do you think of…Yuri Besmenov?

09/04/2020 aridara The idea is pretty simple: if you advocate in favor of discriminating against, deporting and/or harming entire groups of people for no reason other that said groups exist, you go fuck yourself, and people have the right to take you at face value. And I never heard of Besmenov.

lala-slave-labor Freedom is absolute. He called this social justice stuff back in the 80’s, to a T but everyone is pissed at him because he made them (rightly) look like inhuman monsters who hate freedom.

lala-slave-labor Do you want to ban freedom or let people be discriminated against?

09/04/2020 aridara Do you want to ban the freedom of bigots, or the freedom of the bigots’ victims?

lala-slave-labor why do we have to ban either?

aridara Because here’s the thing: every single time “advocating in favor of discriminating / deporting / harming an entire groups of people for no reason other that said groups exist” was freely allowed, EVERY single time it got worse to the point that said groups of people were threatened and harmed into silence.

So, we can’t have both. It’s one or the other. So, what do you pick? The bigota? Or their victims?

lala-slave-labor For no good reason, huh? Is it really because racism?

aridara In absence of any other reason*, yes. (*: Claiming that your reason is X doesn’t count if it is demonstrated that your reason is NOT X.)

lala-slave-labor So what the native populace wants isn’t a valid reason? We should just try to accommodate everyone from all cultures in the same neighborhood?

aridara Did you actually read what I wrote?

lala-slave-labor Yes. Different cultures cannot coexist.

aridara They have. Throughout history. I mean, random example: the UNITED States of America.

lala-slave-labor It’s mostly white, Christians

aridara So are Italy, Spain and Germany, and yet they’re very different cultures. Like the USA. The USA are 50 different cultures in a trench coat.

lala-slave-labor Most of America is white people. Most of America is Judeo-Christian.

aridara So are Italy, Spain and Germany. And yet they are extremely different cultures.

lala-slave-labor They don’t have freedom. Freedom or bust

aridara You don’t know that “culture” means more than race and religion, do you?

lala-slave-labor Do you, as an Non-American, know what freedom is?

aridara Do you? Is it “I can do whatever the fuck I want, and fuck everyone else”?

lala-slave-labor I can cause offense without having the government all up on my ass.

lala-slave-labor I can legally own guns.

lala-slave-labor As long as it’s not a threat or you’ve been asked to leave, you can generally do what you want. Wanna spray slurs on the road? GO FOR IT wanna call entire groups of people names? GO FOR IT The government literally can’t stop you unless you start affecting other people. and no, calling say, gays, mean things isn’t “government gonna stop you” worthy. Can you do ANY OF THAT where you come from? without getting arrested or “given a talking to by the local cops”

lala-slave-labor all you’re saying is “I don’t like x, if you do x, you’re a shit person and I’m better” and “You’re X. I don’t care if I’m wrong, you’re X.”

lala-slave-labor That basically shuts down all conversation. It’s proving you’ve got nothing of value to say. It’s why you and others like you with your points pull that.

lala-slave-labor There is a third option to your question. Don’t get the government involved, and let the people themselves solve the issue. Don’t want foreigners around? Kicked out. And they aren’t wrong for it. Foreigners might radically change the neighborhood to something the locals find offensive and obscene.

lala-slave-labor Unless you can grasp that “let people solve their problems” by taking a third option to your query, stay the fuck out of American politics.

lala-slave-labor Last point: the victim can use freedom of speech to get the bigot thrown in jail. They aren’t helpless…usually. Though, that usually is just the mentally ill ones.

aridara Nope. As I said, either you defend bigotry; or you defend the victims of bigotry. Can’t defend both.

For example, in your scenario, bigots are allowed to call for the deportation of gay and “foreign” (read: anyone of the “wrong” race) people, for absolutely no reason besides “those people dare to exist”. This inevitably escalates into harassment, threats and crimes, until gay and foreign people are silenced and kicked out. Voilà: total freedom of speech is lost, because entire groups of people are now unjustly silenced. We saw this happen literally every time bigotry was freely allowed. Every. Single. Time. But it’s clear that you would pick the bigots. “Don’t want foreigners around? Kick them out.”

09/04/2020 lala-slave-labor Fine, you fucking retard. Yes, I’ll defend the bigots. Now fuck off with that “they might silence people” moralistic bullshit. Yes, it is as you say, people will get treated like shit because they aren’t locals. You’re so fuckin’ hung up on it. “b-but the victims they bsbdoifjweoij” “you can’t defend both” why not? Because I HAVE TO PICK A SIDE Is that how this works?

lala-slave-labor I don’t have to pick a side. People are dying daily in America, but guess fucking what, I don’t have to give a fuck, you European cunt. You’re basically saying “we should protect everyone”. You realize what happens when we strip away freedom right?

lala-slave-labor No one in America genuinely likes you Europeans. We all openly mock you.

lala-slave-labor “but they might kill themselves” yeah and? That’s not my problem. They’re free to do that. So long as they aren’t taking other people with them, far be it from me or anyone else to stop them.

lala-slave-labor If you place the safety of the people above all else, you get tyranny. And if I see any tyranny, it’s my duty as a patriotic American to kill it.

lala-slave-labor Freedom is absolute. It allows people to be harmed by assholes, but if it goes away, everyone will have 0 rights, not just those stupid foreigners you so love to “care” for. But hey, I’m not a tyrant-in-the-making, like some people. Because, newsflash, asshole, everyone is equal in America. It’s literally illegal to be treated like shit by government and jobs because of what or who you are, within reason.

lala-slave-labor You are going to have to restrict someone’s rights. Who, then, will be on the receiving end? The bigots? That rapes their rights. The victims? Again, rapes their rights. Not only that, but it kills the rights.

lala-slave-labor You’re being a moral guardian-type busy body. No sane, rational American liked you assholes in the 90’s with that Satanic Panic bullshit, and we sure as shit don’t fucking like it now with this puritan, social justice bullshit. So yes, I’m gonna defend the bigots. But I’m also gonna defend the victims you say you care for. Because it’s my duty to protect the rights of all within my country. Sure, people might kill themselves, but the alternative is a dystopian “utopia”.

lala-slave-labor So, until you, a collectivist prick, gets it through your thick fucking skull that you don’t have to side with either bigots or their victims, that you can defend both, stay the fuck out American politics.

lala-slave-labor I am not taking your shit. Speak plainly, you wanna make a world where all are safe from being emotionally harmed.

09/04/2020 aridara Are you done? The fact is that you cannot defend the speech of both bigots and their victims. Is one or the other.

aridara Literally every single time I asked people to find me ONE place where 1) “Advocating in favor of discriminating/deporting/harming entire groups of people for no reason other that said groups exist” was freely allowed; AND 2) Where that decision did NOT result into the bigotry becoming way wider-spread and worse, and the bigotry’s victims getting silenced,

- nobody answwred. Because it’s utterly impossible. You can’t defend both. You defend bigotry, you give up the rights of the victims of bigotry. You are not American.

aridara You said it yourself: unless you defend EVERYONE’s rights, you aren’t American.

09/04/2020 lala-slave-labor I don’t have to live by people from Syria, Nigeria, Algeria, Greece, Japan, China, Peru, Mexico, let alone anyone else. You won’t be honest about what you’re trying to say. If they immigrate LEGALLY, they won’t get deported. I’ve been here for 28 years. I came in legally. I don’t fear deportation. Comes with citizenship.

lala-slave-labor If you’re a citizen, you won’t be treated like shit by the government.

lala-slave-labor My father’s family has been here for 200 or so years, if not longer. But we have to share HIS LAND with people who weren’t even born here, that no one has ever met?

lala-slave-labor His side of my family has spent the first 200 years I know of booting foreigners. They don’t have a right to our land. They aren’t OUR people.

lala-slave-labor I’m not gonna stop the bigot from calling blacks niggers, calling trans people trannies, and all other manners of slurs. But I’m also not gonna stop the victim from contacting the proper authorities to deal with it. The issues doesn’t involve us. It’s between the two engaged. But hey, I’m debating a retard online what can’t even be honest about what he’s activisting about. I’m not about to rob the victim, as you keep pointing out, of their agency. They don’t NEED any help. But what can I say? I’m not on the right side of history, am I? Out with your intentions. Lying is a sin. You market your beliefs, removing the negative parts. Have you not thought of the consequences to these ideas? Or do you just not care?

aridara Not what you said. You said that, if the people don’t want to stay around “foreigners” (read: people of the wrong race), then they have the right to remove them from the country.

lala-slave-labor It’s not a race thing, you doofus.

aridara Also, again: there is NO space where freely allowing hate speech did NOT end up with the victims of bigotry being silenced. None. Zero. Nada. Nothing. Which means: you either defend hate speech, or you defend the victims of bigotry. Can’t defend both. In either case, according to you, you are against freedom.

Sucks to be you.

lala-slave-labor RIGHT… As if the victim can’t use their freedom of speech to bring the bigot to fucking justice. Or just fucking walk away! You’re assuming everyone is as weak as you! Insulting. That is not “silencing” you are FREE to make your fucking comments YOU ARE NOT ENTILTED FOR PEOPLE TO LISTEN TO THEM OR TAKE THEM SERIOUSLY it’s not SILENCE SILENCE IS TO STRIP YOUR RIGHT TO TALK them not wanting you to talk, is not silence Maybe them not wanting you to talk for a very good fucking reason It’s not silence, you retard. You know naught of freedom!

aridara Nope - they cannot. Again: if it was possible, then there should be at least ONE space where hate speech was freely allowed, but where the victims of bigots were still allowed to speak.

But there is not. No amount of religious fundamentalism will change that.

lala-slave-labor Then I should be dead. I face those bigots daily.

aridara Give it some time.

lala-slave-labor Give it time?

aridara Hate speech becomes harassment, which becomes discrimination, which becomes violence.

lala-slave-labor What, I’m so weak, I’ll kill myself?

aridara No. It means that the bigots escalate until they straight-up kill you. See for example what happened in America in recent years.

lala-slave-labor What do you speak of? The George Floyd thing?

aridara No, that was just one of the last steps. I’m talking about the progressive worsening of police racism, coupled with “law and order” politics that heavily disadvantaged black people and immigrants, coupled with multiple economic crises and an epidemic, coupled with one of the most patethic presidencies in USA history. Coupled with a president who blatantly aligns himself with white supremacists. Good job: you now are on the brink of a civil war. And your Dear Leader is doing PRECISELY what he shouldn’t be doing in this kind of situation - which ensures that the situation WILL escalate. Enjoy your next six years.

lala-slave-labor Then what is Antifa to you? And BLM? hell, what does Brexit mean to you, while we’re at it.

lala-slave-labor How has Trump allied with white supremacist

lala-slave-labor Where are you getting all this information?

lala-slave-labor ‘tis not the illusion of freedom, that which America prospers under. ‘twould appear as so you are jealous, to be frank.

09/05/2020 aridara Antifa and BLM are a decentralized movement without an actual leadership. Brexit is the result of extreme nationalism, which is notoriously short-sighted.

aridara Among other things, Trump repeatedly employs nationalist policies, and heavily prioritizes attacking non-white immigrants over attacking illegal immigrants.

aridara I get my information from various sources. But my knowledge of how the USA is going towards civil war? That comes rfrom FM 3-24.

lala-slave-labor What’s wrong with nationalism? Are borders bad, or something?

lala-slave-labor Plus, like, everyone who is in a place, regardless of if they’ve been allowed in said place, should just be allowed to like, do as they please, with the full rights of people who have lived there their entire lives, right?

lala-slave-labor So, tell me somethin’, will ya? What’s more important? Freedom or feelings? Because you refuse to answer simple questions, I must spell it out for you.

lala-slave-labor Are you just? Are you on the right side of history? I think I know the answer, but it’s best to get it straight from the horses mouth, as they say.

09/05/2020 aridara Extreme nationalism (like white nationalism - which must not be confused with nationalism in mostly-white nations, they’re different things) is actively harmful, as demonstrated throughout history. No, I don’t think there should be borders. Again: your feelings on the matter are completely irrelevant. You either defend the speech of bigots, or you defend the speech of the victims of bigotry - there is no magic third option. And yes, I do think that I am on the right side of history.

lala-slave-labor Because people get killed, I have to pick a side?! Are you fucking crazy?!

aridara Yep. You either pick the side where bigotry escalates until people get killed; or you pick the side where you limit bigoted speech.

lala-slave-labor ahahahaha no You’re gonna have to kill me.

aridara Again: there’s no third option.

Literally every single time I’ve asked me to bring ONE example where they defended both bigotry and the victims, they failed. Whine all you want, die all you want; these are the facts. If that makes you die, then you are doomed to perish no matter what I or you do.

lala-slave-labor The just thing to do is to strip rights away from assholes you don’t like?

aridara Stripping the rights of others is not a right. Bigotry, unless opposed, inevitably strips others of their rights. Do the math.

aridara Let me put it this way: if someone unjustly attacks you, and the only way out is to kill them, you have the right to kill in self-defense, right?

lala-slave-labor Every psychopath in history thinks they’re in the right. That’s what having twisted principles will do to you.

aridara But if you are the one unjustly attacking someone with deadly force, and they have no other option except to kill you to survive… do you still have the right to kill in self-defense? After all, they ARE attacking you with deadly force…

lala-slave-labor yep You think this is proving your point?

lala-slave-labor We must be intolerant of intolerance, yeah? Even though we’re the tolerant ones, right? what if I think your words are harmful or bigoted? Do I get to just kill you? Why do you get to decide that? What gives you the right? crap, autocorrect I and me, not you and you. what if I think your words are harmful or bigoted? Do I get to just kill you? Why do I get to decide that? What gives me the right? there, better.

aridara So, basically, what you’re saying is that we should allow the victim to kill the murderer AND allow the murderer to kill the victim, right? You don’t see any problem with this?

lala-slave-labor You see a problem with that? Do you hate fascism? Is everyone on Trumps side a fascist by virtue of being on Trumps side?

aridara You have a problem.

lala-slave-labor yes I’m a retard lol

lala-slave-labor Now answer the question.

09/05/2020 aridara Yes and yes.

09/05/2020 lala-slave-labor Thank you for taking the time to out yourself.

lala-slave-labor If you respond, I’ll have to do something drastic.

09/05/2020 aridara You literally had two world wars where you decided that fascism was bad.

09/05/2020 lala-slave-labor You’re a good little idiot. They will kill you if you don’t keep up, if you aren’t useful to them.

lala-slave-labor And don’t go thinkin’ “I won’t be killed over this by my own party”. Hate to see it, but it happens. A lot. You don’t think BTLM? FUCKING FASCIST!

and then you’re getting death threats. Then they’re attacking you in the streets. You never said Black Trans Lives Mattered or not. But you never said they didn’t.

lala-slave-labor You’ll one day become a fascist to them. All because they keep changing the rules. Eventually, it gets to a point where…enough is enough.

lala-slave-labor You cannot accommodate every identity. Some identities want the rest dead. I’m not the judgemental, tyrannical fascist here. YOU ARE.

lala-slave-labor You have become the thing you hate. Because eventually, you will be branded a heretic.

aridara No, I won’t. Antifas haven’t killed anyone in the USA in the last 25 years. Meanwhile, Trumpers alone have killed multiple people. Same goes for BLM and white supremacists.

lala-slave-labor Is antifa not an organization? They have chapters like you would the Free Masons.

aridara You know how I’m 100% sure I won’t get branded as a fascist? Because I’m not a fascist.

And don’t give me any of that “Antifa calls EVERY innocent who disagrees with them 'Nazi’!” bullshit. It didn’t work with the neo-Nazis at the Unite The Right rally, it won’t work now.

lala-slave-labor Where are the neo-nazis?

aridara And yes, we CAN accommodate every identity. What we can’t accommodate is bigots. Can I replace your eyes? Because they clearly aren’t working.

lala-slave-labor So how do we get rid of bigots?

aridara We need to replace your ears, too. In fact, I think this is a “just throw away the whole suitcase” situation. Anyway, step one is to find a wall.

lala-slave-labor If you don’t accommodate bigots, are you really accommodating everyone? Find a wall? And what, pray tell, will happen once we find said wall?

aridara Get closer to it until your nose almost touches it.

lala-slave-labor And then?

aridara Then you stare at it for the next 30 years, without distracting yourself. Every 6 months, make some kind of noise so that we can know that you’re still alive.

It’s very easy. While you are at it, think about ONE single space where bigotry was freely allowed and you could accommodate for both bigots AND their victims.

lala-slave-labor Is that what you’re calling execution?

aridara No.

lala-slave-labor That’s the part where you shoot them in the head for being a bigot. I’ve seen videos of that happening. Hundreds.

aridara Nope.

lala-slave-labor Let me guess: fake news meant to make the good guys look bad.

aridara No, it means that’s not what I am doing. Of course, there’s always The Alternative. But you won’t like that.

lala-slave-labor The Alternative?

aridara Yep, The Alternative.

lala-slave-labor And that is?

aridara Are you sure that you want to know it?

lala-slave-labor I wanna be on the right side of history.

aridara Because it would require to sacrifice a fundamental part of what makes you “you”.

lala-slave-labor And that is?

aridara Your concept of “freedom”. Not freedom itself; just the way you are currently interpreting it.

lala-slave-labor Just toss it? Why? What’s wrong with it? Victims killing themselves?

aridara You can discover it only by taking The Alternative.

lala-slave-labor And do what, make America more like Europe?

aridara No. More like how America was supposed to be.

lala-slave-labor And how was that? A place where everyone is/was supposed to be safe from anything they dislike or were uncomfortable with?

aridara No. But you’ll have to take The Alternative to find out.

Are you sure that you want to know what it is?

lala-slave-labor You keep dancing around it. Just out with it.

aridara It’s pretty simple:

Just admit that you cannot accomodate both bigots and the victims of bigotry.

lala-slave-labor And then what? How do we solve that?

aridara The first step is to accept it. You still haven’t.

lala-slave-labor Why? Because it isn’t allowed where you live?

aridara Your concept of “freedom” requires you to find a way to accommodate them both. Your concept of “freedom” is based on the assumption that such a thing is possible.

lala-slave-labor Yes. It is. It happens here.

aridara This is what I meant by “you must throw away your concept of freedom”.

Because you must accept that it’s impossible.

lala-slave-labor Then what’s the correct definition of freedom then?

aridara You have black people killed for no reason other that they’re black. Gay and trans people tortured until they go insane and kill themselves. People being arrested for no charges. You don’t have freedom.

lala-slave-labor Right, that guy I nearly killed was for no fucking reason.

aridara And you sure as hell you aren’t accommodating both the bigots and their victims at the same time. Only the former.

lala-slave-labor Prick deserves a fate worse than death. Why can’t we be allowed to have bigots?

aridara You must accept that your concept of “freedom” is impossible. Only then you can heal. Until then, you are trapped in your delusions. Why you can’t have bigots?

lala-slave-labor Yeah. Why can’t we?

aridara Because if you have them, then their victims lose their rights. And that goes against your concept of “freedom”. So, you must stop bigots.

lala-slave-labor Why do they lose rights? Because some prick is bein’ mean to them? They can’t fight back?

aridara But if you stop the bigots, then they lise their right to be bigots. And that goes against your concept of “freedom”. So you must allow bigotry. But if you allow bigotry, then the victims of bigotry end up losing their rights. And that goes against your concept of “freedom”.

So, you must stop bigots.

lala-slave-labor Good. As intended.

aridara But if you stop the bigots, then they lose their right to be bigots. And that goes against your concept of “freedom”.

So you must allow bigotry. But if you allow bigotry, then the victims of bigotry end up losing their rights. And that goes against your concept of “freedom”.

So, you must stop bigots. But if you stop the bigots, then they lose their right to be bigots. And that goes against your concept of “freedom”.

So you must allow bigotry. But if you allow bigotry, then the victims of bigotry end up losing their rights. And that goes against your concept of “freedom”.

So, you must stop bigots.

lala-slave-labor No I don’t.

aridara But if you stop the bigots, then they lose their right to be bigots. And that goes against your concept of “freedom”.

So you must allow bigotry. But if you allow bigotry, then the victims of bigotry end up losing their rights. And that goes against your concept of “freedom”.

So, you must stop bigots. But if you stop the bigots, then they lose their right to be bigots. And that goes against your concept of “freedom”.

So you must allow bigotry.

lala-slave-labor I don’t have to stop the bigots, nor do I have to save the victims.

aridara Yes, you do. Your concept of “freedom” requires it.

lala-slave-labor Your concept of freedom is shit. It’s no wonder why both World Wars started in that shithole of a continent.

aridara No, it’s YOUR concept. You want to accommodate everyone’s rights: both those of bigots, and those of their victims So, if you limit bigotry, you are anti-freedom.

lala-slave-labor Why do we have to limit rights?

aridara And if you allow bigots to take away their victims’ rights, you’re also anti-freedom.

lala-slave-labor No.

aridara Yes. You said so. You wanted to accommodate both of them.

lala-slave-labor I don’t have to, nor am I compelled by emotion, save either.

aridara Well, go ahead. Do it. Or perish trying. And if you don’t want to do it…

…why do you hate freedom?

lala-slave-labor Do you even have freedom?

aridara Do you? I’m sure that you don’t.

lala-slave-labor I do.

aridara You either defend bigots, which means that their victims lose their rights, and freedom is lost…

lala-slave-labor I can go around screaming “nigger tranny faggot get the hose” and shit and nothing happens.

aridara …Or you stop bigots, which means that THEY lose their rights, and freedom is lost.

lala-slave-labor I can do that all day.

aridara You are encouraging bigotry to spread. And the more it spreads, the worse it gets. Until bigots kill people.

lala-slave-labor And?!

aridara Which is against freedom.

lala-slave-labor big fuckin’ whoop

aridara Why do you hate freedom?

lala-slave-labor that is what it means to be free.

aridara Hating freedom means being free? Not having freedom means being free? Preserving the freedom of some, but not others, is “protecting freedom”? Is that why they hated you?

lala-slave-labor Right, the victim of bigotry has no rights. The cops will totes just side with the bigot. Is that how this works?

aridara When bigotry spreads enough, yes.

lala-slave-labor Or are you projecting how your not-free hellhole handled shit?

aridara Because then the bigots enter in the police system.

Which is precisely what happened in the USA. It’s not random that 40% of cops are domestic abusers.

lala-slave-labor You’re right, not 40%. It’s not even 10%.

aridara Because they are bigots. And they have spread to the point that they have invaded the police system.

lala-slave-labor And I’m not about to rewrite the system over less than 10% of the cops being shit people.

aridara And nope, it’s 40%. At MINIMUM.

lala-slave-labor No cop where I live is like that. Everyone respects them.

aridara And that’s without going the open white supremacy of many cops. We’re talking “I want an ethnic cleansing” amount of bigotry.

lala-slave-labor It’s only like that in the big cities, which is a small minority of the nation. Good on them. They’re free to do it.

aridara Keep telling yourself that.

lala-slave-labor You can’t save everyone.

aridara Are you feeling this safe because you know that your cops are as bigoted as you?

lala-slave-labor Better the fascist than you subhuman communists!

aridara So it was never about freedom at all, eh? It was only about YOUR freedom - at the expense of everyone else. It was about POWER.

lala-slave-labor Americans first. Foreign scum never.

aridara I find it hilarious that you disbelieved my “40% of cops are domestic abusers, minimum”. You know, considering that you have the exact same mindset as an abuser.

lala-slave-labor Freedom is absolute. If I restrict the rights of one, freedom isn’t absolute. That means bigots get to stick around. But what’s so bad about bigotry?

aridara But by doing so, you are restricting the rights of the victims.

lala-slave-labor You seem hellbent on getting rid of it.

aridara Which means that freedom isn’t absolute. So are you.

lala-slave-labor Oh, it is. I don’t have to pick sides.

aridara Nope. You ARE picking a side, whether you want it or not.

lala-slave-labor “bigot is bein’ mean” okay have fun. “this foreign scum is musclin’ in on my turf” okay have fun.

aridara Letting bigotry spread is one side - one that harms the victims of bigotry and leads towards their rights being denied.

That isn’t “having fun”. That isn’t freedom. That’s AGAINST fredom. So, you must stop bigots.

But if you stop the bigots, then they lose their right to be bigots. And that goes against your concept of “freedom”.

So you must allow bigotry.

But if you allow bigotry, then the victims of bigotry end up losing their rights. And that goes against your concept of “freedom”. An infinite paradox, one that has only two solutions.

lala-slave-labor The victim needs to grow up. Compromise. As does the bigot.

aridara Nope. Compromise is not freedom, according to you.

lala-slave-labor I have no right to interfere in the affairs of others. Not like some godless heathen like you’d know about that.

aridara And letting bigotry spread directly leads to bigotry interfering with the affair of its victims. Not like some godless heathen like you would know about that. You only have two solutions. One is to give up your flawed ideal of “freedom”.

lala-slave-labor So what’s your real answer? Kill the bigots? They won’t stop being bigots. aridara Don’t change the argument.

lala-slave-labor That’d infringe on their right to life.

aridara Don’t change the argument. You only have two solutions. One is to give up your flawed ideal of “freedom”.

lala-slave-labor I don’t bend to the will of a terrorist.

aridara The other is to give up this existence.

lala-slave-labor Every coin has an edge. There’s a third path!

aridara It is not my will, nor the terrorist’s will. It simlpy IS. There is not.

lala-slave-labor If you loved freedom enough to even consider dyin’ for freedom, you’d know that!

aridara And yet, despite the fact that you loved freedom so much that you considered dying for it, not even you managed to find this “third path”. Because it doesn’t exist.

lala-slave-labor Because of a few assholes kill niggers? Or that trannies get bullied to death?

aridara Because letting bigotry spread leads to a LOT of assholes killing black people.

lala-slave-labor Life isn’t perfect. And it shouldn’t ever be.

aridara Then your idea of “freedom” is impossible.

lala-slave-labor The only solution that will please you is to genocide the bigots.

aridara No, it is not.

lala-slave-labor They won’t stop being bigots.

aridara And?

lala-slave-labor Bigots have no place in this world, right? Hell, not even in this universe, no?

aridara That’s what YOU think.

lala-slave-labor It’s the logical conclusion to your extremist ideology.

aridara Nope.

lala-slave-labor Said it so yourself. Bigots must be removed.

aridara Nope again.

lala-slave-labor Putting people into a corner gonna change them?

aridara Who said anything about change?

lala-slave-labor That violates their right to speech, of free expression.

aridara And their bigotry violates their victims’ right to speech. Your point?

lala-slave-labor How?

aridara Just like your ideal of “freedom” cannot exist,

lala-slave-labor Why? Because of a few assholes?

aridara your idea of what MY beliefs are… doesn’t actually exist. You just delude yourself into rejecting reality.

lala-slave-labor What does Karl Marx mean to you?

aridara That is how you manage to claim that you are defending freedom for everyone, while simultaneously admitting that your beliefs cause entire groups of people to lose THEIR freedom.

lala-slave-labor Who says they’ve lost their freedom? Someone with 0?

aridara Because you delude yourself into ignoring reality and how it contradicts your beliefs. See, you aren’t even responding to my words anymore. You just rant about whatever you wanted to rant before.

lala-slave-labor No.

aridara Because you ignore anything that hurts your feelings.

lala-slave-labor I was in middle of something else that required my attention.

aridara This conversation is pointless. Farewell.

lala-slave-labor could not send It’s pointless? Because you can’t convince a wet paper bag?

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billydmacklin · 6 years

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Fall Checklist: DIY Spray Foam Insulation with Dow Froth-Pak!

This blog mini-series is a paid partnership with Lowe’s! Thank you for supporting my sponsors!

If you’ve read the title of this post and are thinking it’s already winter, then meteorologically yes, you’d be correct. BUT NOT ACCORDING TO ASTRONOMY, which places the first day of winter on December 21st this year, so take that! We’ll now move forward with the premise that it’s still fall and I’m right on schedule with wrapping up a semi-gargantuan to-do list of time-sensitive projects I really wanted to accomplish before this winter—at which point I will…uh…keep working, but on different stuff. Fun stuff. I’m excited for this winter stuff.

So. Having taken care of some overdue work like overseeding my grass, planting shrubs, pressure washing filthy siding, securing my garage/personal lumber yard, and wrapping up the major outstanding work on the side of the house, I’m turning my attention back toward the inside of the house. And there was a pretty major, glaring issue that I’m a little ashamed to admit. Behold:

It’s literally been YEARS since we’ve talked about it, but maybe you remember this room above my kitchen? It’s been through a lot…maybe this will jog your memory? Behold, again:

When I bought this house, it had been divided into two apartments and this room served as the upstairs apartment’s kitchen. I wrote about the preliminary demo work all the way back in 2013…and then evidently didn’t mention it again except in the context of the exterior work which involved removing the door and the window and replacing them with two little casement windows—an approximation of what I think that back wall originally looked like.

Anyway. At some point in there, I gutted the whole room. Part of one wall had been lost early on to a plumbing issue. Another wall because of the new window arrangement. The rest of the walls and ceiling were a material probably installed in the 1930s called Celotex, which is generally used as a rigid insulation board rather than a finished wall surface, but I digress. It all had to go—nothing original left anyway. Unlike the rest of the house, this section is 1 1/2 story—meaning there’s no attic above this room, and no reason the ceiling can’t be vaulted up to the ridge. Sweet!

Except…that was approximately 3 years ago. And aside from becoming a dumping ground for random crap (what else do you do when your mom sends you boxes of stuff you thought had long since been disposed of from your childhood bedroom?), it’s just sat that way. A shell full of potential, but not even approaching the top of any priority list.

Do you spot a problem here? I’ll give you a big hint that’s literally in the title of the post: NO INSULATION. I LIVE IN UPSTATE NEW YORK, PEOPLE. HEAT IS EXPENSIVE AND IT GETS COLD COLD COLD. WHAT A BAD CHOICE.

Seeing as this uninsulated room also became an unheated room as a result of other work, and therefore basically a barn atop my kitchen, this has meant a frigid kitchen below and the necessity of a space heater up here in the winter to prevent the pipes from freezing, as my bathroom is on the other side of one of the walls. Lest you feel like that’s overkill, I initiated this program only after the pipes had already frozen.

Twice.

Now, I’m no energy efficiency expert (SURPRISE!), but this much I know. Hot air rises. Insulation keeps it from rising up and out of the house. I chose not to insulate between floors in my house (a subject of some debate in the renovation world), meaning that any heat from my kitchen/first floor rises up into this room, and then promptly out the walls/roof and away into the sky. You know that emoji of the flying stack of money? That’s kind of what I’ve come to picture emerging from my roofline around this time of year.

If you’ve worked on an old house, you’ve likely encountered the issue of insulation at one point or another. There are many options out there, each with their own pros and cons, but one that’s been gaining major traction for the last couple decades is closed-cell spray foam insulation. There are a lot of great things about it—it’s efficient, fairly quick to install, provides a vapor barrier, and even improves the structural rigidity of a building. That last aspect dovetails nicely with the fact that it fills irregular gaps and areas in an existing structure that might be difficult to access/fill with more traditional products like fiberglass bat. Old houses tend to have both weird areas like that and structural components that may not necessarily be a problem but also wouldn’t meet modern building standards, so the added structural strength—while it shouldn’t be relied upon to resolve an actual structural issue—is a nice bonus. To my knowledge, closed-cell spray foam application has always been the purview of professional installers, but now there’s an option for the ambitious homeowner or budding professional too! That’s me!

We are talking specifically about the Dow Froth-Pak system, available at Lowe’s! Right off the bat I want to make clear that this stuff is SERIOUS BUSINESS—while this post is intended to help others and share my experience, you absolutely must read the manual that comes with the kit, take all necessary precautions, and research anything you feel uneasy about before trying this at home. Don’t be stupid, basically. Let’s dive in.

When I first saw this product, I didn’t totally know what to make of it. Is it closed cell or open cell? Can someone like me even use it? Is it just a big version of those cans of Great Stuff? Can I do a whole room? A whole house? What is a board foot??! I will try to address all of these things, because there isn’t a ton of information online about it in one place.

EVALUATE YOUR PROJECT

So you’re thinking of using Dow Froth-Pak to meet an insulation need. There are a few things to consider.

How much area are you trying to cover? My room is about 13′ x 16′, with a vaulted ceiling about 10′ at the peak. Two of those walls are exterior walls that need to be insulated, as well as the whole ceiling. I haven’t excluded windows in that calculation, which is my lazy way to round up when figuring out what I need plus accounting for some waste. I think this product is good for a situation like mine—where you need to do ONE room or ONE ceiling or something like that, or you want to seal up areas like where floor joists meet the rim joist over a foundation in an entire basement. If the project is bigger than that, I’d definitely recommend at least quoting the job with a professional spray foam installer—it may actually be less expensive than buying the amount of kits you’d have to buy, and obviously save you some serious, potentially hazardous work.

Is there a product better suited to your needs? There are several compelling reasons to choose spray-foam insulation—but fiberglass bat, blown-in cellulose, or a number of other products may help bring costs down. In my case, I have irregularly spaced studs, meaning variably sized stud cavities, as well as a lot of weird shapes and angles (due to post-and-beam construction and the vaulted ceiling) that would make installation of other products difficult. Obviously insulation works best when it achieves good coverage, and all of the irregularities with my framing would leave opportunities for lots of gaps and cracks with a product that can’t easily adapt to the shape of its space.

Are you up for it? If you’re not one for following directions or reading warning labels, avoid this. It’s not technically difficult but it can be somewhat physically demanding and messy. You also need to be at the proper stage of your project—which is AFTER framing work (including adding nailers or furring!), rough electric and rough plumbing are done. If you aren’t ready to put up drywall, you aren’t ready for spray foam insulation.

CALCULATE THE AMOUNT OF PRODUCT YOU NEED

Dow Froth-Pak is closed-cell insulation, created by combining the contents of two tanks. One difference between closed-cell and open-cell spray foam is the thickness you want to spray. Open-cell spray foam is less dense, so you can fill a stud cavity and cut away the excess before installing your finished walls. Closed-cell is denser (with a higher R-value) and ideally should be a bit recessed in the stud bay—it can be cut back, but it’s more difficult. The amount of product you need will depend on the thickness you want to achieve. Each inch of thickness creates about R-6. So two inches = R-12, three inches = R-18, and so on. Local building code may require a minimal R-value depending on where you’re installing—always check.

Calculate your BOARD FEET. The Froth-Paks come in different sizes—to make it simple, let’s look at the Froth-Pak 210. The “210” refers to the number of board feet—which is a measure of volume, NOT surface area, but all you need to know to calculate it is the square footage of the areas you need to cover. It’s a simple calculation:

Length in inches x Width in inches x Preferred depth of the spray foam in inches. Divide the result by 144.

So for example, an 8′ x 8′ wall with 3″ of foam would be:

96″ x 96″ x 3″ = 27,648 / 144 = 192 Board Feet

In other words, one Dow Froth-Pak 210 will provide about 3.25″ thickness of foam over an 8’x8′ wall.

AND THAT IS AS MUCH MATH AS I EVER WANT TO DO IN BLOG FORMAT. This is not a math blog. I’m sure those exist and I’m also sure I’m not interested.

I was hoping to get about 3 inches of spray foam on all exterior walls/ceilings, and my total board feet was about 1,350. Ideally I would have bought two Froth-Pak 650s and one Froth-Pak 210, but the 650 was out of stock so I bought all 210s instead. The product is the same, it’s just the amount in each kit that changes.

The total cost of that, by the way? A little over $1,800 clams. Add in various other supplies (we’ll get to that!) and it’s about $2,000 to insulate this room. To be honest I was excited to try the product and didn’t try to quote it out to a professional, so I can’t tell you how they compare cost-wise, but local labor prices can be all over the map so I’m not sure how helpful that would be anyway.

INSTALLING THE DOW FROTH-PAK FOAM INSULATION KIT

SO. With framing, furring (mostly just to compensate for old, uneven framing), and electric complete, it’s time to get down to it! Again—I AM NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR THE MANUAL. I’m just a guy with a dream of a warm house in January.

Step 1: Check the temperature of your tank contents—this threw me for a loop so I’m making it item 1. There is a small temperature gauge on the side of the tanks, and a cut-out on the front of the box so you can read it without even unpacking everything. The interior contents of the tanks need to be between 75-85 degrees for optimal performance/mixing. This is a two-part system, so dispensing the proper mix is essential, and the temperature affects that. 75-85 degrees is WARM! Just sitting in my house, the tanks were reading much too cold so I placed the whole box on top of my cast iron hot water radiators (which are toasty to the touch but nowhere near enough to burn you), making sure to check them every 20 minutes or so as the contents slowly warmed up. NOTE: Dow recommends use of a particular heat tape or heat blanket for this purpose. I didn’t have them. Again, don’t be stupid—this had the contents heating at a pace of about 5 degrees per hour, so it took a few hours. Heating too rapidly/aggressively could cause an explosion, you crazy thing!

Step 2: Prep! If you don’t want it to get covered in spray foam, mask it off—ideally with something you don’t mind throwing away at the end. I had some already used 6-mil plastic in the garage that I used to mask off the chimney, the baseboards, and the door to the room. If I had more I’d have used it on the floor, too, but I just had this tarp. You also want to seal off the work space from the rest of the house as well as you can, and ventilate it (I opened all the windows and had a good cross-breeze, but the manual goes into good detail). I used my Bostitch pneumatic staple gun (currently on sale for $40!!) to keep my masking in place—it was a bit easier to put it up when working alone, and more secure than tape. Contractor bags worked nicely for wrapping the collar ties, which will probably be cleaned up a little and left exposed.

Step 3: Put on your costume! Like I said—this is serious business. Spray foam is both extremely sticky when wet and all kinds of toxic, so this is not a place you want to skimp. That means a disposable full-body suit, full protective eyewear, chemical resistant gloves, and a full-face or half-mask air-purifying respirator—I used this 3M one from Lowe’s, fitted with these cartridges. Small tip I wish I had: cover the face of your goggles with clear packing tape that you can remove and replace as needed. Dried spray foam can be removed from glass with a razor blade, but goggles are plastic and overspray may accumulate and make it difficult to see, and the spray foam will not come off without scratching them up too much to be usable. A headlamp may be helpful for darker spaces—I love this rechargeable LED Craftsman one (also on sale!).

Step 4: Unbox your Froth-Pak kit, ensuring the temperature gauge is between 75-85 degrees. The room and surfaces to be sprayed don’t have to be that warm, just the interior contents of the tanks. Shake both tanks for 30-60 seconds. You can shake them individually or use the carrying handle to hold them above the ground and rock them back and forth.

Step 5: Open the top valves on both tanks COMPLETELY. It’s very important that both valves are entirely open to ensure a proper mix. You should see the chemicals move through the hoses as the valves are opened—one is clear and one is brown-ish.

Step 6: Using the packet provided, apply some petroleum jelly to the inside face of the dispenser. This is primarily if you plan to use the Froth-Pak over multiple sessions and need to keep the dispenser free of dried foam between uses.

Step 7: Insert the nozzle into the dispenser gun. The Froth-Pak comes with two nozzle shapes—a blue “fan” nozzle and a clear “cone” nozzle. For a situation like mine, the fan nozzle proved the most helpful in terms of creating an even spray across a large surface. Dow gives you lots of spare nozzles that you may or may not use—but after you’ve started with one, it has to be changed any time there’s more than 30 seconds between sprays because the product cures so quickly and any blockage could screw up the ratio of the two parts. When the nozzle is fully inserted, you should hear a click and the yellow nozzle ejector will be clamped down.

Step 8: Pointing the dispenser into a container like a trash can (I used the box it all came in), purge the lines for 5-10 seconds. Foam should dispense pretty quickly.

Step 9: Practice! TAKE THIS PART SERIOUSLY. It definitely takes some getting used to. Using whatever you have available (I had a scrap piece of sheetrock), practice applying the foam as you will on your surface. You want to stay perpendicular to the surface, at an even distance (6″-24″ away), moving at an even pace in a side to side stroke. ALSO. VERY IMPORTANT. The foam only cures properly (and safely) if the layer of expanded foam is 2 inches or less. It will expand 3-4 times its thickness, so you want an even 1/4″-1/2″ coverage while you spray. Inconsistencies in your pace, distance, or angle will result in an uneven application—and it’s harder than it looks, I promise. Especially with all that gear on and the pace you kind of need to keep up.

Step 10: Check your practice area. About 1 minute after spraying, it should have fully expanded and dried to the touch. It’s fully cured in 5 minutes—which is kind of bonkers.

Step 11: Start spraying! At this point you’ll probably want to change your nozzle. Using all the knowledge in your brains and safety equipment on your body, get to work. Perpendicular to your surface. Even distance. Even pace. Side to side. 1/4″-1/2″ thickness. Don’t panic. Because the foam cures so quickly, you can apply additional layers within minutes to build up to your final thickness—it’s better to do several thin applications than a too-thick application . To ensure you don’t run out of nozzles, you want to work fairly quickly. Avoid applying foam over foam that was just sprayed and is in the process of curing, and avoid build-up of foam beyond the depth of the wall, as this will need to be removed later on. Each Froth-Pak 210 took me about 20-30 minutes to mix, get set up, and use. By the way, the foam will stick to a lot of things including rigid foam boards—which you can see were already installed on parts of the back wall, and I just sprayed right over them since there was plenty of space in the cavity. Those foam boards should be R-10 on their own.

Step 12: The tanks will become increasingly lightweight as the contents are dispensed, which makes them more likely to tip over as you move. I’d highly recommend having a helper for this job (also in full protective equipment) who can help ensure the tanks stay upright, move them while you work around the room, and help identify areas that need more applied. As the tanks are nearing empty, you will notice the pressure change (kind of a quick sputtering) and the foam may look slightly different (darker, more viscous). STOP IMMEDIATELY. This foam is the wrong ratio and will not expand/cure properly—don’t think you can squeeze just a little more out, because those tanks are DONE. RETIRED. NO MORE FOAM 4 U. The tanks should feel empty, although there might be a little more liquid in there you can hear. That’s OK. It’s still done. I promise.

Step 13: Do not. Think that. You can just. Throw these things away. I said it all dramatic like that so you read past the word “done” (see item 12.). The manual explains a whole easy-peasy but super duper important disposal protocol, which is in place so you don’t inadvertently cause an explosion. I have nothing new to add to that so just please make sure you read it and do it, ok?

SO. IT HAS COME TO PASS. The whole insulation process took about 4-5 hours start to finish (including the masking and prep, but the tanks had to heat up for longer beforehand), and I think the coverage was basically as advertised so I didn’t need additional tanks. I found the technique of getting an even coating fairly challenging (you can see areas that look good and areas that look…not so good)—I do feel like I improved throughout the process, but since my first coat wasn’t especially smooth I didn’t give myself the best foundation. Like with painting, small lumps become bigger and bigger lumps with each new coat.

I was a bit nervous about fumes, but I left the windows open for about 12 hours after finishing up and I really don’t notice a smell when I go in there! Like…at all? Maybe something faint that could also be my imagination? I can tell you the difference is like night and day, heat-wise. It hasn’t been there long enough to know how it affects my bills/consumption (and those two casement windows are still drafty as hell—another thing on the ole to-do), but the kitchen below feels warmer and suddenly this room is OK to be in! It’s 30 degrees out! The street noise is also much quieter, and the whole room is immediately so much BRIGHTER—which doesn’t really matter because it’ll all be covered, but it makes it so much easier to work in especially in the evening hours which is when I’m the most likely to tackle stuff.

SO MUCH EASIER, IN FACT, that now I’m like…am I finishing this room now? To be totally honest I’ve forced myself to kind of stay away from it for a long time now just because there are so many more pressing things (I SEE YOU, KITCHEN. I JUST CAN’T AFFORD YOU. I’M WORKING ON IT.)…but now that it’s to this point, and I feel like I know what I want to do, it’s pretty much just a bunch of carpentry I could chip away at? Little by little? With supplies I mostly already have? And then? I could? Have guests? Like a person? Who owns a rather large house? And lives? Alone?

Dare to dream.

Fall Checklist: DIY Spray Foam Insulation with Dow Froth-Pak! published first on https://carpetgurus.tumblr.com/

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carygarman980 · 6 years

Text

Fall Checklist: DIY Spray Foam Insulation with Dow Froth-Pak!

This blog mini-series is a paid partnership with Lowe’s! Thank you for supporting my sponsors!

It’s literally been YEARS since we’ve talked about it, but maybe you remember this room above my kitchen? It’s been through a lot…maybe this will jog your memory? Behold, again:

Twice.

EVALUATE YOUR PROJECT

So you’re thinking of using Dow Froth-Pak to meet an insulation need. There are a few things to consider.

CALCULATE THE AMOUNT OF PRODUCT YOU NEED

Length in inches x Width in inches x Preferred depth of the spray foam in inches. Divide the result by 144.

So for example, an 8′ x 8′ wall with 3″ of foam would be:

96″ x 96″ x 3″ = 27,648 / 144 = 192 Board Feet

In other words, one Dow Froth-Pak 210 will provide about 3.25″ thickness of foam over an 8’x8′ wall.

AND THAT IS AS MUCH MATH AS I EVER WANT TO DO IN BLOG FORMAT. This is not a math blog. I’m sure those exist and I’m also sure I’m not interested.

INSTALLING THE DOW FROTH-PAK FOAM INSULATION KIT

Step 8: Pointing the dispenser into a container like a trash can (I used the box it all came in), purge the lines for 5-10 seconds. Foam should dispense pretty quickly.

Step 10: Check your practice area. About 1 minute after spraying, it should have fully expanded and dried to the touch. It’s fully cured in 5 minutes—which is kind of bonkers.

Dare to dream.

0 notes