#but i do think this concept has potential. maybe they are genuinely on holiday together and then get dragged into a murder mystery. yknow

[boylikeanangel]

hmm. if and when we get phillip featuring more heavily in a future knives out movie I really hope there's a fully realised version of the moment in glass onion where a woman is coming onto blanc and he's doing the whole trying to be a gentleman about this, ohh I'm flattered but.... and then phillip "get straight to the point" nolastname steps in and says something like "I'm afraid he's otherwise engaged", and then blanc introduces phillip as his Partner and THEN they have to do the whole runaround where everyone thinks "engaged" means too busy with work and "partner" means investigative partner but what they actually mean is gay partner and engaged as in Engaged to be Married. the perfect reversal of the many generations of people mistaking platonic partnerships as gay couples For Funnies in this kind of genre. the anti-bbc sherlock, if you will

[tellmewhatyouc]

any combo of Law/Cora/Doffy for both/either ship asks

ship ask memes: 1 | 2

gonna throw all this under a cut bc 1. spoilers and 2. people who do not vibe with these can just scroll on by easily

first off yes i ship all combinations oh my god

What made you ship it?

as soon as i knew there was some Fuckery going on between law and mingo, i was 👀 because i just. love whump esp law whump and god that dynamic is full of it

doflacora for similar reasons, like. it’s just plain fucked up and i knew i was gonna be into it before i even met roci. regardless of the label on their relationship, their whole dynamic is just So Terrible and Tragic and i am here for it. we love angst in this house

i had a feeling i’d ship coralaw before i even met roci, a couple of my friends were like “UR GONNA LOVE CORALAW” before i’d even read the flashbacks and they were CORRECT

and all three of them started JUST A TAD BIT out of spite bc people being like “this is Bad” or complaining about a ship just makes me curious (tho i actually really genuinely enjoy them aside from the spite and am trying to channel it into positive things instead of just getting upset over people being mean)

What are your favorite things about the ship?

doflaw: the HISTORY they have, it makes for such an interesting and fucky dynamic and i feel like a lot can be done with that

doflacora: just the terrible mess of mingo being this irredeemable villain yet his little brother still believes he can change and still cares about him and then he just fuckign kills him in cold blood and goD

coralaw: LAW GETTING THE HAPPINESS HE DESERVES

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

that they are all good and valid ships and i love them dearly <3

i’m gonna do the rest of the asks for coralaw bc that’s the only one that i could write in a remotely functional or healthy way here we goooo

PRE-RELATIONSHIP

How did they first meet?

oh there’s so many possibilities. i can Definitely fuck w an idea closer to canon where roci met law in the context of the family, maybe they left together and everything actually worked out okay, and once law got older they came to terms with their Feelings.

but i also like modern aus where they meet when law’s already an adult, like maybe roci works somewhere and law keeps coming back or he’s a teacher  or (like i enjoy with every law ship) they meet because roci is injured or smth and law has to do his Doctorly Duties

What was their first impression of each other?

god u know it was not great in canon

i like friends to lovers with them. or like. at least friendly acquaintances to lovers. they get along well (once law gets over,, maybe his initial impression that roci is just a clumsy dumbass) and the other Emotions come later

Did any of their friends or family want them to get together?

gjfkdg mingo is Not happy with the arrangement, though i’ve read a couple fics where the family dynamic is a little nicer and he encourages it and i’m into that too

Who felt romantic feelings first?

law definitely, maybe he didn’t realize what it was at first because he was just a little kid but it makes more sense as he grows up

Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

YES <3 i am so here for the “oh god i’m old enough to be this persons father i Cannot be attracted to them” trope and that has so much potential with this ship (tho their age gap isn’t actually that big??? what is it like 13 years idk roci can still suffer)

If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

i feel like law would be very >:( about the concept of soulmates and maybe roci would have a crisis but they’d work it out eventually

What would their lives be like if they had never met?

well uhhhh if u really think about it law would probably be dead and roci might be alive so. hm.

but i do think roci really like,,, Fixed law. like he showed him that there are in fact things worth living for, and even if they didn’t spend a Ton of time together, he still had a huge impact.

GENERAL

Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

i feel like law would have to do it bc roci would be too concerned about overstepping boundaries

Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

i don’t think it’s anything Official like they hang out anyway and then one day it just clicks

What was their first kiss like?

law initiating it in the heat of the moment

Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

oh i love the idea of roci being law’s first Everything

What’s their height difference? Age difference?

ROCI’S SO FUCKING TALL but even i a modern au i’d probably put him at like 6′5″ or taller

and i think they’re 13 years apart yeah

What’s their relationship with each other’s families?

sweats next question

Who takes the lead in social situations?

i think roci is def more friendly and extroverted so probably him

Who gets jealous easier?

i feel like both of them are pretty laid back?

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear?

law,,,he likes to egg him on

LOVE

Who said “I love you” first?

roci for sure

What are their primary love languages?

in most law ships i like the idea that law shows love thru gifts, i think roci is just very affectionate but maybe also does the same

Who uses cheesy pick-up lines?

roci and law HATES IT

How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

law isn’t big on pda but sometimes he tolerates it

Who initiates kisses?

roci mostly

Who’s the big and little spoon?

law is the little spoon but sometimes roci is too

What are their favorite things to do together?

fuckin they like to cuddle and watch movies :’)

Who’s better at comforting the other?

roci is better at comforting law naturally

Who’s more protective?

roci,

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

law’s more verbal, roci is more physical

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

heart-shaped hologram gives me A LOT OF FEELINGS

also. for some reason i’m feelin in the best case scenario we’d die at the same time

What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

not rlly a nickname but i like the idea that law is short for lawrence and roci calls him that sometimes and he HATES IT

also cora in itself is a nickname ig

Who remembers the little things?

hmmm i’d say they’re both pretty observant but maybe roci moreso

DOMESTIC LIFE

(taking out questions about marriage/kids bc i do not think so)

Do they have any pets?

i just wanna give everyone a cat

Who worries the most?

law probably, but roci worries about law so it all evens out

Who kills the bugs in the house?

law

How do they celebrate holidays?

mostly quiet celebrations at home

Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

law,

Who’s the better cook?

law, roci isn’t allowed in the kitchen after one too many burns and fires

Who likes to dance?

ROCI, law does not care for it

[ubourgeois]

Best Films of 2019: Honorable Mentions

Is Tumblr even the best platform for this anymore, in 2020? Not sure, but it’s habit now.

I’ve got my top 50 tallied up and you can find that here. In the meantime, here’s some films that didn’t make the final cut but that I figured deserved a shoutout regardless. Check it out:

Aquarela dir. Viktor Kossakovsky

Few films are so simple in concept but so overwhelming in execution. Aquarela sets out to be nothing more or less than a documentary about water, at its most dangerous and awe-inspiring: crashing waves, frozen lakes, and gigantic cliffs of ice are presented without commentary or artifice, letting the images speak for themselves with the occasional help of a harsh metal soundtrack. A kind of pure cinema experiment in gorgeously captured natural imagery (in 96 fps to boot!) that is reverent to the power of water almost to the point of fear. It might be said that the potential outstrips the product here - it’s slow, not totally audience friendly, and some sequences are more mundane than others - but when that combination of sound, image, and scale hits it really hits.

Buoyancy dir. Rodd Rathjen

A Cambodian boy, eager to find work, gets scammed into slave labor on a Thai fishing boat, under the leadership of a sadistic captain. Apparently meant as a sort of awareness-raising project on abusive labor practices in Thailand, this Australian production ends up more memorable as a taut and empathetic thriller. More than anything a triumph of casting - amateur actors Sarm Heng and Thanawut Kasro are captivating as the boy and his captain, and lend a great deal of credibility to the single-boat potboiler premise with their surprising chemistry. It’s a modestly-scaled affair and in some ways obviously a first feature, but the commitment to mood and setting make this worth seeking out (even if the humanitarian angle gets a bit lost in the shuffle).

Ford v Ferrari dir. James Mangold

Dad Movie material of the highest caliber. Commits the sin of dragging itself out over the more mundane parts of the story (the will-he-or-won’t-he between Miles and Shelby is almost entirely not worth the time), but wins you back with engagingly muscular racing sequences that dominate much of its second half. Bale and Damon are their reliable selves as the lead duo, and there’s some charming support work from Tracy Letts, Josh Lucas, and Ray McKinnon that lets the setup go down smoothly. A well-executed but bloated film, essentially, but at least one that delivers where it counts. It’s good enough that the idea of a just slightly better version is especially tantalizing. Perhaps with a different director... Michael Mann, say?

Kumbalangi Nights dir. Madhu C. Narayanan

Hands down the best-looking Indian film I saw this year, and probably one of the best soundtracks from anywhere. Ultimately a very sweet family drama about four brothers navigating a non-traditional family unit, full of sweet moments and charming performances. The most memorable element of the film, however, is Fahadh Faasil’s turn as the bushy-mustached antagonist, the overbearing brother-in-law who manages to be both cartoonish and genuinely menacing. Faasil ends up providing the film with a weird energy throughout, and facilitates one of the most breakneck genre switch-ups I’ve ever seen in the last half hour(!) of the film, which I still can’t decide is genius or simply derailing. A very curious movie that I’m still not sure what to do with months later.

The Lighthouse dir. Robert Eggers

More stylistically ambitious than The Witch, but trades in that film’s relative narrative and thematic clarity for something a little harder to grasp. Mostly a good trade, I think - as this moved along I was really swept up in the shadows, the sounds, and Willem Dafoe’s facial expressions, and the film kept ramping up the weirdness in a satisfying way. Appropriately, the film does feel a bit like a bender - you end up losing track of much of the big-picture plot as it goes on, but you’re occasionally pulled into these moments of sharp sensory clarity (the Hark! speech being the most memorable example) that seem to block out everything else. You get a bit blindsided with an ending that doesn’t seem to follow from the rest of the film, but in the meantime it’s an incredible showcase of atmosphere.

Long Day’s Journey Into Night dir. Bi Gan

I give this film a lot of credit for two things: the hour-long, seemingly impossible unbroken take that everyone loves to talk about, and the fact that it raked in money as a holiday release in China despite the fact that obviously most people would not actually enjoy this (the proto Uncut Gems). As with Kaili Blues, the story here is vague and dreamy - something about a funeral, a lost love, some criminal interests - and not especially concerned with legibility. Plus, the first stage of the film drags on so long that the long take that makes up the second half almost feels like a different movie altogether. Still, Long Day ends up being such a showstopper that it makes me feel bad that I’m not on Bi’s wavelength. Or maybe he’s tricking me too, just like all those Chinese cinema goers?

The Moneychanger dir. Federico Veiroj

A rather nuts-and-bolts historical drama set among financial criminals in 70s Montevideo, a kind of deadpan, low-rent South American cousin to The Wolf of Wall Street. Lives and dies by Daniel Hendler’s performance as the titular cambista, a man so cowardly and resigned to moral compromise he makes Jordan Belfort seem like a man of principle, as well as that of Dolores Fonzi, who plays his coldly practical wife. Some interesting historical commentary here, focusing on Uruguay’s position between Brazil and Argentina making it ideal as a shady dealing site, and the effects of seemingly mundane corruption among the financial class that spill out into the general population. Perhaps a bit too committed to its even, clinical tone, but a funny and enlightening film regardless.

Promare dir. Hiroyuki Imaishi

It took me a while to warm up to this one. Definitely feels like it’s taking too many pages out of other Imaishi/Nakashima creations (Gurren Lagann and Kill La Kill are all over this), and I’m still not convinced the environmental and immigration undercurrents are actually executed effectively. However, it does showcase a lot of Imaishi’s usual strengths: extravagant, energetic action sequences, breathless pacing, great music choices, and vibrant character designs. In many ways it’s pure candy, and I guess that’s appropriate for Studio Trigger’s feature film debut. Unquestionably worth checking out for the Trigger faithful - and if you want some almost-there gay representation in your smash-bang mecha fare, maybe this will scratch that itch too?

Queen & Slim dir. Melina Matsoukas

As impressed as I am that anyone got a major studio to put out a film literally just about cop killers, I can’t help but think that this film should have been better, and could have been with just a few tweaks. On the plus side: one of the most gorgeous films of the year (Matsoukas puts her music video sensibilities to fine use on the big screen), great turns from Kaluuya, Turner-Smith, and Bokeem Woodbine, and one of the most impressively raunchy sex scenes in American multiplex fare in many years. The narrative it presents is still essentially worthwhile, and it brushes up against the radical more than accidentally, but it pulls itself down with clumsy Both Sides equivocating and allowing the title characters to slip too cleanly into martyrdom. Want to see what comes next.

Triple Frontier dir. J.C. Chandor

A thoroughly pulpy concept - a bunch of ex-special forces buddies get together to rob a drug lord - brought to life beyond expectations by a talented cast and crew. Ben Affleck, Oscar Isaac, and Pedro Pascal are especially good here (especially Affleck, in his best showing in years), and Chandor and Mark Boal’s detail-oriented approach to the material pays off in a deliberately paced but always tense thriller. Surprisingly in-the-reeds procedural obstacles - how do we get to this house? how do we move this large pile of cash? - set up for the film’s best set pieces, and the ensemble has a great macho rapport that carries over even into the film’s bleaker second half. Perhaps benefiting from low expectations, but this is one of the key overlooked Netflix finds of the year.

[meirmakesstuff]

Chanukah 5780

First night: tiny lights in deep darkness.

On the first night, we had friends over, ate latkes, joked and laughed, and felt the warmth of community. I took the picture once everyone had gone, once the candles had burned down and only the oil lights were still lit.

Description: a large silver menorah is guttering in a darkened room. The shamash is broken, so it sits on the foil beside the menorah. In front of it, a smaller pewter menorah has already burnt out. It has a decorative oil jug hanging from the front. The two lights--the one light for the first night and the shamash--are reflected in the window. 

Second night: family.

It was our first Chanukah as a family of three, officially: although he’s been part of our lives for two years, the adoption was only finalized this December. In practical terms, it doesn’t change our daily lives in any way, but it’s both legally and emotionally significant. In name now as well as in practice, we are his parents and he is our son.

Description: The large silver menorah with the broken shamash and the shorter pewter menorah with the decorative jug are lit for the second night of Chanukah. Beside them, a white stone menorah decorated with the wax drips of previous years is also lit. The silver menorah is lit with multicolored oil vials, the pewter menorah is lit with metallic red candles and a metallic red shamash, and the stone menorah is lit with multicolored Tzfat-style candles. The room is well lit and cheerful, and the lights are reflected in the window and in the foil underneath.

Third night: Christmas Eve

Somehow the Christmas leadup was just too much this year. Maybe it’s because the Jewish holidays were late this year, so there was less time for the irritation at those who refuse to look at a Jewish calendar to wear off before they demand that we dedicate two months to acknowledging their calendar. Maybe it’s just the sense of rising danger in being visibly other in America, which has increased again this year as it has every year of the past decade. Maybe it’s the fact that Chanukah fell during break this year, so there wasn’t the usual amount of school festivities.

Description: The silver menorah with the broken shamash and the pewter menorah with the oil jug are lit for the third night, the silver one with multicolored vials of oil and the pewter one with red-and-purple patterned Tzfat-style candles. The picture is taken from an angle that doesn't’ show the reflections of the candles in the window; instead it shows a comfortable plaid living room chair with a big blue cushion.

Fourth night: exhaustion.

We went out with friends for whom getting Chinese food on Christmas is a meaningful tradition. Food and company were great, but on the one day of the week I didn’t have to work at the mall...we got Chinese food at a restaurant in the mall. Eventually we declined to continue back with them to watch Die Hard, went home, lit one menorah without much fanfare, and conked out.

Description: close up on the small pewter menorah lit for the fourth night with alternating pink and blue candles. The silver menorah behind it picks up the gleam, standing out against the dark window.

Fifth night: the radical in the mundane.

I don’t want to write about anti-semitism; my news feed right now is filled up with it, is choking on it. But this week it’s been impossible to talk about being Jewish without mentioning it. I’ve spent so much of my life aware that my identity--first just my Jewish identity but then all the intersectional layers that have piled on throughout my life--is always going to be a mixture of danger and joy. I was always aware that one of the most defiant acts there is is to continue to live authentically, not just in defiance of danger but from simple, genuine love of doing what we do. The famous photo of the menorah in the window through which one sees Nazi flags is important, but so I think is this one, an unremarkable, mediocre-quality picture of a family and their pets in the home we choose to fill with love, not fear.

Description: a poorly-focused picture shows the silver and pewter menorahs lit for the fifth night with oil and candles in a rainbow of colors. The comfy plaid chair is in focus, and Cooper, a large orange and white tabby cat, is standing on the chair looking at the camera. His eyes are opened wide, his ears and whiskers are perked forward, and his tail is raised in greeting. He is more interested in potential human interaction than the candles on the table next to him. In one pane of the window, the reflection of the candles is multiplied, and in the other my wife can be seen sitting on the couch.

Seventh night: motzei shabbat.

The night I didn’t take a picture was Shabbat Chanukah, when we lit the shabbat candles immediately after the Chanukah candles. I wish I could have shown a picture of that: my grandmother’s silver candlesticks are nearly as tall as the silver menorah that towers over our other chanukiot and is sized for larger candles or vials of oil. This year I brought them to school for my students to compare with the more modern examples of shabbat candlesticks available at the synagogue gift shop. The candlesticks weren’t the only meaningful piece my family brought from Germany to America, but I asked the students to imagine why these candlesticks would be among the items someone might choose to bring. Their answers circled around the idea that the candlesticks’ value wasn’t just as items of silver but as emblems of identity. Of course, fourth graders didn’t express it in those words, but the concepts are present for them, as they are for me.

Description: a bright and cheery photo of the silver and pewter menorahs, almost fully lit. The silver menorah with the broken shamash is full of multicolored vials of oil; the pewter menorah is loaded with red and purple candles with a yellow and orange shamash that seems to be leaning to one side.

Eighth night: mazal tov

On the last night of Chanukah we drove to Boston to attend my cousin’s wedding. Getting there was a flurry of preparation: the hotel where the group rate was booked couldn’t provide an accessible room that could accommodate a family of three, so we ended up booking elsewhere; our son didn’t own any formalwear, so we bought him a suit, shirt, and tie, and I had the joyful experience of teaching him to tie it (he wanted a simple knot, but the tie turned out to be too long for a four-in-hand and he came back for lessons in a half-Windsor). We failed to find him matching shoes in time, so he wore the shoes I bought to get married in. They were as uncomfortable for him as they had been for me, but they gave him the motivation to stay at the reception: “If I have to wear these shoes, I’m getting dessert out of it.” The spectacular dessert buffet did not disappoint him. The wedding was both a loving celebration of my cousin and his bride, and a joyful get-together of branches of families that live far apart, lead busy lives, meet rarely (I chatted with people I hadn’t seen in a decade, and in three decades), and are still part of each other’s story.

Description: a fully-lit menorah sits at the center of a small table piled with flowers, set for a bride and groom. The table glows in the foreground; behind it the room is washed in low, orange light; wedding guests are dancing on a crowded dance floor in the background.

[politics-arabiccountries-blog1]

What is an Autoresponder and do I require one for My business? The second Do I require to think about Email Marketing?

Having a targeted e-mail list and using efficient email marketing is like owning a individual bank maker ... however only as long as you do it. Many people don't. It  is very important to keep in mind, that I've run e-mail projects that have actually generated thousands in commissions, and I've sent out e-mails that failed to produce a single penny. While it's not always foreseeable, there are things I  have actually found out throughout the years that can produce more consistency between the two. Now assuming you've done the groundwork and matched your deal to the list, there specify techniques you can do to increase your sales from each e-mail. It's naturally impossible to speak with each individual separately. While they get the e-mail directly to their inbox and read it as if you sent it to one individual, you actually may be speaking to 10s and even hundreds of thousands of people simultaneously. The trick here is that we all have fundamental attributes that you must be "speaking" to. Use these and watch your results skyrocket. A while back I surveyed among my lists and the following are concepts I've pulled from the precise words utilized by genuine paying consumers. Conserve Time: Most of us get a lot of e-mail, and it's safe to assume we have very hectic lives. The technique here is that we all MAKE time for the important things we desire. (like maybe your advertising deal!). Here's how to use this sentiment. Before sending your next promo, ask yourself ... Does the deal conserves your client valuable time? If so you ought to definitely discuss how it does. " Do you squander hours, on x, y, and z? Would you rather hang out on (list more interesting things). Here's an offer that saves you time by doing this, and letting you do (the more fascinating things).". Resolve a Issue:. Frustration is a huge motivator! Knowing your audiences biggest problems, and disappointments is the crucial to increasing your sales. It's an easy sale if you can legally use a option to assist them resolve a big issue. Your only job then is to plainly describe and let them know how it does that. Combine it with the time trick above you have serious sales firepower. " Are you squandering your time attempting to fix this big and discouraging problem? If that issue was gone, imagine how much easier your day would be. The terrific feature of this (insert product) is the hours of time it saves and how it fixes xyz problem by doing this this and this. Here's where you get can it now ...". Entertain:. How many people sit down each night and view TV for at least an hour? Believe of all the various ways, and billions of dollars invested on home entertainment. It needs to be obvious that we like a little excitement and variety in life. Make certain your emails not only discuss the product, but they are amusing and interesting at the very same time. Inform stories, and paint photos. If you can conserve time, resolve a issue, and be entertaining or amusing at the same time. Well golly gee you're going to be popular and wealthy at the same time! " Bahhh, Bahhh ... The animals shuffled in line, one by one. What a discouraging zoo this day has been. Today I was standing in line at the coffee store. I felt rather silly just waiting there, and began to fantasize. When I suddenly imagined everybody bleating out loud like sheep. I almost lost it chuckling in the middle of Starbucks. Can you picture me, the insane man in line simply busting out laughing. Maybe I actually was crazy. Who wants to loaf like sheep wasting important time, for an overpriced cup of joe. Back at house on the computer system, and rightfully sulking I got to thinking. There's got to be a better method. After one creative Facebook post about the encounter and hours of feline videos later ... Bingo ... I stumbled onto this ... (affiliate link). This remarkable maker makes real Starbucks coffee right there on your countertop. Get this ... it does it in ten seconds at the push of a button. What a relief. I went to the store and purchased it on the spot. Guess which line I WON'T be in tomorrow. If you do not want to pay excessive, and lose time in line for a easy coffee than I highly suggest this super incredible instant coffee maker. You do not even have to leave the house to purchase it. You can get it right here online ... ( link). Now you  have actually got more time for feline videos like me! Bahhh bye for now!". Got it? Funny, story, amusing, conserve time, solve issue ... instantaneous sale! Speak To Emotions:. Okay, I snuck this one in there on the previous example. Unless you're a cyborg or something, you most likely have experienced more than your share of emotions in a lifetime. Think what? They work terrific in story informing, and sales. In the above story, I felt annoyed, silly, and laugh aloud delighted, and lastly relief. Oftentimes ours issues occur with very particular emotions. Anger, frustration, sadness, etc. With those problems resolved, we experience the opposite. Delighted, relieved, satisfied. When you feel these things, take note. Include them into your marketing. Enjoy when you earn money from all your e-mail sales. Develop Exclusivity:. Someplace deep within us is a 5 years of age kidding sticking out their tongue and stating "na na I got this and you donnnnn' t". It's some kind of tough coded feeling that we desire to be special unique flowers of exclusivity. Envision you see an incredible item of clothes at the store, purchase it, and enjoy. Then the next day you are standing in line for coffee (see what I did there hahaha) ... and literally EACH AND EVERY SINGLE person in line was using the very same thing. Well gosh you might feel a bit dissatisfied. It's also the reason so many iDevices are sold on the very first day, due to the fact that there's a restricted supply and you'll be one of the choose few that has it. So let's see how we may make this work. As an affiliate you have actually limited result on the exclusivity of the product you're promoting. BUT you can develop your own. You can include benefit, value, or service to the offer that IS in limited exclusive supply. No one else will get this valuable benefit deal however you, my valued customer. Geminii Review:. Geminii has been created to supply HUGE worth on the front end and will give any newbie access to the 3 crucial tools that EVERYONE needs when they begin their online organisation. These 3 important tools are likewise included in the ONE TIME ONLY rate that would otherwise cost you private regular monthly fees. The apps consist of:. - Simple cloud based autoresponder to allow users to get begun with the extremely lucrative email marketing service model. Features include the capability to publish their customer lists via.csv, send out endless e-mail newsletters. - The Geminii email marketing tool box; Increase your click rates utilizing Timers, Shortage Bars and Buy Buttons " Within" your emails. - Squeeze page developer with 2 personalized templates totally hosted by us with the choice to download all leads created. - Training by zeeshan will reveal you how each specific app works and Jono will reveal you how all of the apps fit together and how to begin driving traffic to your pages utilizing Bing ads. - Premium List Structure Revenue Tools WITHOUT Month-to-month Costs - Save $1000s annually. - Maximize Your Email Profits & Conversions - Without any copywriting skills. - Your Own On-Demand Traffic Source - For endless revenue potential. - Effortlessly Start & Grow Lists In Any Niche From Scratch - 100% newbie friendly. - Automate & Scale Your Income - The very best passive earnings method on earth. - Produce Potentially Life-Changing Earnings In Minutes Per Day - Just by sending out an e-mail.

https://holidayshores.tumblr.com/post/619742168779767808 https://juntomentor-at-176.tumblr.com/post/619742230934061056 https://patrickporterart.tumblr.com/post/619742294618357760 https://forestnortherninternational.tumblr.com/post/619742357693284353 https://francescarizzato.tumblr.com/post/619831313060577281 https://designdamage.tumblr.com/post/619831566749810688 https://rochii-de-seara-ocazie.tumblr.com/post/619831629987381248 https://mmorrow.tumblr.com/post/619831754278191104 https://laugh-smilemore.tumblr.com/post/619832385196998656 https://shitliberalzionistssay.tumblr.com/post/619832448162873344 https://cosfail.tumblr.com/post/619832508123627520 https://paradox-holiday-countdown.tumblr.com/post/619832572900409344 https://homeless-in-seattle.tumblr.com/post/619832636944302080 https://fiscaisdefiofo.tumblr.com/post/619832699084013568 https://patternaday2012.tumblr.com/post/619832761557090304 https://box1824.tumblr.com/post/619832825594642432 https://quinkyart.tumblr.com/post/619832886083911680 https://wblut.tumblr.com/post/619832948512980992 https://theprepheritage.tumblr.com/post/619833013689286656 https://radiatorheaven.tumblr.com/post/619922415338799104

[grimoiresontape]

Reading Room: Demetrius Lacroix

This week I am delighted to be joined by my dear friend and godbrother-twice-over Demetrius Lacroix, to talk about good divination practices, client care, and combining community-minded charity and spirituality. Demetrius is a Tarot Reader, an Oungan Asogwe in Haitain Vodou and the co-owner of Botanica Macumba, an up-and-coming spiritual supplies store and community space down in the New Orleans.

Al: Laroye! Thanks for having this conversation with me. You are a great reader in many different styles and systems of divination. How do you help a client decide which kind of divination is best for them? When do you recommend, say, tarot over palmistry?

Demetrius: I try to guide all my clients to the information that will help them the most: Tarot and Palmistry are two of the prime examples that people have come to expect and ask for. Many of them are not aware of the ways these two divination systems work. Tarot for me is highly detailed, and lays out a very wide story and can tell the story with depth. Palmistry lays out many details as well, but they pertain more directly to the client themselves, their likes and dislikes, and the general things they can expect throughout their lifetime. The time-line of the information is much broader, much longer, and therefore not always totally helpful. Many of my clients are looking to know what is happening in the right now, this coming week, their relationship today, and I find that for me Tarot answers this more clearly than palmistry.

A: That makes a lot of sense, palmistry being more concerned with the individual’s whole life. If I have a case that needs concrete specificity cartomancy is usually my go-to. I am very much a fan of Professor Porterfield’s cartomancy as taught in his A Deck of Spells book - very historically-grounded Hoodoo style of reading playing cards to answer questions and remediate problems. 

Geomancy is also good at delivering perspective on particular plans and projects, but is still a little less well known unfortunately. So, hey, what’s the weirdest form of divination you’ve ever heard of or seen?

D: My Mambo in Haitian Vodou reads with people’s left shoes, I’m not sure how that works but she can do it!  And while not necessarily being weird, it reading of molten tin or lead, when it is poured into water. The results are determined much like in Ceromancy, divination through candle wax.

I sometimes wish I could sit in a cave with lots of fumes of various burning organic matter and scry into a mirror or darkness, giving messages of fortune, for now I'll stick to my reading room in Botanica Macumba.

A: What do you find to be the the subtlest or trickiest kinds of questions or clients?

 D: I find that questions about love tend to be the most overtly tricky – I always try to divine on relationships from the perspective of both individuals, so I can try to read with balanced perspective. I feel like some people try to use divination as a way to get someone to validate or confirm plots and decisions that may not be given approval by their friends or other associates.  I have found that in readings, the client may not be willing to tell the full truth about a situation, and that they may be reactionary when you tell them news that is contrary to what they want to hear. Even though I have a tendency to be direct and straightforward where someone may feel like my message is an insult to them or what they value, it’s rarely my goal to.offend, it is my goal to interpret the information to you as is being presented. I believe the client wants a genuine reading, not just a cheerleader for bad habits and decisions.

 A: I like this technique of divining on the relationship from both perspectives. That’s really neat. So much helping people navigate their current relationships is about identifying unspoken projections and expectations, and the bridges and gaps and overlaps between two people, not some simple pronouncement on The Relationship as an abstract concept. 

D: It takes two to tango: I can’t place a value of helpful/not helpful good/bad without seeing both dancers moves across the floor.

 Also, I find that some people become obsessed with mysterious life questions like "when will I die?"

 A: That’s a puzzling one isn’t it? I’ve only ever been asked that by troublesome “clients” to be honest; specifically ones not taking the reading seriously. On the other hand, I’ve also heard answering that question described as The Worstest Immoral Thing a diviner can do. Personally, I think there are more unethical practices than that. Historically, it was a common question, and especially the particular variant “Will my spouse or I die first?” It was considered a pragmatic question; a matter of making informed decisions and making life plans. That said, I also accept it’s a pretty morbid and potentially saddening thing to know, of course.

D: It’s not that I don't think it should not be done, or entertained as an idea; just that usually the people asking won't profit from that kind of information, nor do I believe that tarot is going to draw that out clearly.

A: How much ritual do you do around your reading? Do you light a lot of candles, invoke anything particular, or just flip cards straight off?

D: I have very subtle rituals, I read both in stores, private homes and outdoors. I usually have a candle and water, maybe use some incense to clear the air, and to make a space somewhat suitable to the Spirits, and Ancestors. I also use cloth that I have done value spiritual work on top of. Also a lot of the seemingly random items I bring with me generally serve some purpose for me during before or after the reading.

A: What are your go-to sorceries and tricks to keep your divining muscles fit and active?

D: first thing is to make sure you are taking care of your self, and your Ancestors and Spirits. There are a lot of baths and observances you can do. I have a regiment of baths, special cleanings, ways I treat my cards, and the maintenance of amulets and rituals. For people who read like you or I, I also recommend downtime, I like to take long walks, have peacefully silence or music something that allows me to collect myself so I can be in peace and centered with my own spirit so I can continue giving quality readings. 

A: You co-run Botanica Macumba down in New Orleans - a magic shop everyone should go check out! - and have an upcoming event combining charity work for local underprivileged kids and celebrating the Lwa. Could you tell our readers a little more about that?

D: Vodou, along side many of the West African Diaspora Traditions talk a lot about community which is seen in action in their places of origin like Haiti, Cuba, Brazil etc, where people are coming together to make a difference in their own lives and the lives of others. It’s important to me, and my business partners that we do the same. In these traditions, the spiritual work is not always an elaborate ceremony, sometimes it’s the work that lets us connect people with blessings, that helps feed a person who has nothing, or in the case of our next event, the prayer service to the Marassa, it allows us to help children. The Marassa are the Divine twins, and are the spiritual representatives of the potential power of children. Children during the holiday season all over will be given gifts, and it's a sad day when a child doesn’t have a gift to open on a day when all their peers across the country will open presents and be surprised. To give a moment of joy to a child is an act of service to the Marassa and the many other lwa. Mindless religious observation - while not taking into account the living world, and considerations made for humans, or the world around us - is often the norm, but we're proud to not be normal.

Toys for Blessings: A Service for the Marassa, The Divine Twins Botanica Macumba, in conjunction with Crescent City Conjure and Alombrados Oasis O.T.O., will be hosting a charity toy drive, prayer service, celebration, and blessing for the community on Sunday 8 December at 7:00pm. The service will include a ritual blessing from the Marassa and a celebratory feast in their honor after the service. Entrance is free for everyone who brings a new unwrapped toy for donation to help children who would otherwise go without. Alternately a $20 donation for toys is also welcome. This is traditionally known as an Action de Grace ( an action of grace). We offer this act of charity in exchange to receive blessings from the Marassa for ourselves and for the community. The Marassa are the Divine Twins and are the Spiritual force of children. They are seen as givers of blessings, they multiply blessings, and duplicate and continue to replicate the way they are interacted with; just like the way we treat children will reflect in how they will develop. To help children experience joy and happiness is the ultimate service to the Marassa and this joy is multiplied by them. It is our hope to elevate the children of today to a station beyond even what is attainable for us. Please bring a new unwrapped gift, or cash donation. Botanica Macumba is located at 3154 St. Claude across the street from the Family Dollar.

[geldris]

Merry Christmas, @velvetcovered-brick! I hope you had an amazing holiday! I was your @yoisecretsanta18 Santa, and I wrote you this fic (trying to pander to your post-canon, coaching, Viktuuri interests. And maybe a bit of Plinami? Who knows!) I hope you enjoy it! 

Fic under the cut or check it out on archive! 

With You or Against You

“Wow! Look at you go!” Yuuri genuinely encouraged, cheering on the small skater as he made his way across the ice: wobbly and imperfect, sure, but definitely more progress. The small seven year old beamed at him brightly, chubby cheeked and beaded with sweat. He’d only been practicing for a few months, but Yuuri fondly was reminded of his times as a child skater.

Now, he leaned against the walls of the rink, propping his leg against a colorful advertisement. The student, who he affectionately nicknamed Aki, was his last of the young, amateur students of the day. Yuuri noted his mother smiling affectionately at her son from the entrance of the ring and decided to make his way over.

“Aki, why don’t you get some water. I think we’re finished for the day!” He gave the young boy a gentle push on the lower back.

His student's mother grinned as they both made their way off the ice. “What an honor it is to get my child trained by such a local celebrity,” she gushed; thankfully, she didn’t dare be flirtatious. She only looked as if she wanted to pinch his cheeks and maybe ask for an autograph. Throughout all these years, Yuuri still wasn’t immune to blushing at any sort of compliments from strangers, and did so now, his cheeks melting into a light pink.

“W-well, I wouldn’t say celebrity. Only people who keep up with the Olympics really--”

“Oh shush! We are all so proud to have you here, Yuuri. And coaching of all things… usually those professional skaters live a life in the spotlight after retiring. How nice it is to have you remaining so local!” she continued her tirade, not letting Yuuri get a word in, “And Viktor, too!” she tacked on, a bit more passion in her voice as she released his name into the air. Though Viktor was happily married, women still couldn't help admiring him from afar.

Yuuri couldn't help but admire Viktor from afar either. Until he remembered that he was the one married to him. Even so, it seemed some things never changed.

They said their goodbyes, Yuuri taking a quick drink before he made his way back onto the ice, now alone.

Viktor had taken to coaching as well, but only one student: Yurio. Japan was crowded between the three of them and their personalities (the two Russians, in particular), but they managed to all live in relative peace. Meanwhile, Yuuri spent his time surrounded by child skaters, only taking on one professional, who was now skating very eagerly onto the ice.

“Yuuri~!” he shouted excitedly, making his way across the ice at rapid speeds, waving both hands all-too-eager. Instantly, the young boy began a ramble that turned to buzzing in Yuuri’s ears, though he tried to smile and nod.

Yuuri had taken on Minami as a student due mostly to the latter’s incessant asking. After retiring, he was content to relax in Japan with his now-husband, not travel the world to coach someone else’s grand prix. And yet.. Minami admired him so much. The concept of rejecting him nearly broke both their hearts.

Reflecting further, Yuuri found himself dazing off more and more, Minami needing little more than his eyes on him to vent loudly to himself. It had been a long day; he was, admittedly, a bit tired. The noise began to blur together more, further drooping him into a bit of a daydream.

“Yuuri,” a voice behind him whispered into his ear, “I know you didn’t forget it was Yurio and I who scheduled for the ice at this time, no?”

Yuuri couldn’t help but loudly gasp, falling backwards. He’d have made a fool of himself if he didn’t fall directly into someone’s chest. He turned, adjusting his now lopsided glasses as he faced Viktor, who had one hand propped on his hip in some type of mock shame.

Minami was quick to skate to his side. “Yurio is practicing with us?!” it came out as part shocked gasp, and part squeal.

Yurio snorted as he stretched one leg naturally onto the barricade, not yet entering the ice. “No way. I don’t share the ice.”

“Come on! We can practice together! It’ll be so fun!” Minami persisted.

Yurio’s eyes nearly made Yuuri feel fear with how cold they shone, even though he knew being nervous around Yurio was a bit of a joke at this point. Minami, however, was completely unaffected.

A few more seconds of glaring later and Yurio refocused on his stretching. “No way, kid.”

“I’m older than you!”

“Not in skating years.”

“Skating years?!”

Yuuri managed to zone out again as their bickering increased, refocusing on his husband who was still looking at him with faux-shame. “Minami and I always practice this time on Thursdays.” Yuuri pouted.

Two fingers poked against his forehead teasingly, and lingered there, brushing his bangs aside. “You practice with all types of students every day. But competitions are right around the corner. It’s time to share,” he raised his voice a bit “Or Yurio may not even qualify for the Grand Prix!”

Minami guffawed loudly, both the younger men breaking out of their bickering as Yurio threw the closest nearby skate (easily-dodgable) at Viktor’s head. “I heard that, idiot!”

Viktor merely smirked as he turned back to Yuuri. “I’m sure he’ll qualify just fine,” Yuuri smiled, “he just won’t win.” Both the Russians went wide-eyed at that, but Yuuri only gave them a wink.

“The future champion and I will be practicing. But you’re free to share the ice, Coach Viktor.” And Yuuri gave him the smuggest smirk of his own, gliding away towards his student who was practically rolling on the ice with laughter.

He didn’t have to look behind him to know Viktor watched him with a smile. But he did hear a stream of loud Russian threats from a very offended blonde.

~ - ~ -

The next Thursday, Yuuri finished once again conversing with Aki’s mother, walking her outside the rink to say goodbye and talk about her son’s progress.

“Yuuri!” Minami interrupted, waving as he hopped to the door. “Ready for more practice today?!” The young boy was always full of energy, and though the upbeatness at times exhausted Yuuri, it was nice having a student who had the same endurance and stamina that he had during his competition days.

“Of course, why don’t you start stretching inside and I’ll be there in a minute?”

Minami nodded, giving his coach a salute as he skipped towards the building.

Minutes later, Yuuri walked Aki and his mother to the car, and was surprised to turn around and see Minami waiting for him by the door.

“Why aren’t you stretching?”

“Uh… I figured you’d like to see.”

Yuuri pursed his lips at that, blinking in genuine curiosity. “See…?” he muttered, walking with a quicker pace as Minami trailed behind him.

He pushed open the doors, looking out onto the ice. His senses were suddenly flooded with the loud echoing of piano and skates against the ice.

He blinked, absorbing the scene before him. Viktor stood on the sides of the ice, a finger against his chin as Yurio did a run through of his free skate.

“Viktor? What are you--”

“Yuuri, my love!” he shouted happily, “Good to see you. Yurio and I began, but as you said last week, feel free to share!”

“Or feel free to leave!” Yurio shouted in the middle of his spin.

“Yuuri,” Minami whispered, “I guess we are sharing the ice from now on?”

Yuuri, however, was all eyes on his husband. His Viktor, who had already turned away from him and was correcting Yurio’s technique. He was flooded with the memories of when Viktor was coaching him, the passion in his eyes as he sculpted those who he deemed to have potential into the perfect skater.

Yes, it was that look in his eyes that had made Yuuri want to coach in the first place.

~ - ~ - ~

Viktor and Yuuri both stood outside the ice, eyes on their respective students as they practiced. Neither had exchanged more than a few statements with the other, meters between them. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, just one filled with a serious, busy focus.

Viktor chose to break that quiet first.

“Your student is rather good, Yuuri. He’s improved such a long way from years ago, when you were up against him.”

“Yes, he has,” Yuuri smiled proudly.

He walked over to his husband and laced their fingers together. Their careers aside, they rarely went a long period of time without some physical contact if they were in the same room. Plus, practice was almost over: soon, they’d be returning to their home, and all the domestic normalcy that came with it.

“It’s a shame, really.” Viktor muttered after a minute, his sigh a bit too theatrical.

“What’s that?” Yuuri asked, warning on his lips.

“That he has to lose to Yurio.” Viktor smirked, turning towards him.

Yuuri’s eyes narrowed, but not for long. He quickly put on his most mysterious smile, turning to his husband and putting both arms around his neck. Any suspicion Viktor had evaporated with the contact, as he distracted himself with reaching a hand to Yuuri’s neck, playing with the ends of his hair.

“I love watching you as a coach. It reminds me of when you were my coach. You were the only coach for me, Viktor,” he muttered against his husband’s ear. “Do you want to know my favorite memory?” he asked, innocent.

Viktor merely hummed in acknowledgement, too focused on brushing strands of Yuuri’s growing hair behind his ear.

Yuuri continued nonetheless. “It was when I had defeated your record at the Grand Prix final. The way you looked at me when you said I had made you so proud as a coach, and yet so excited to compete again.”

Viktors fingers stopped their teasing. “Yuuri…?”

“I’m just so excited, Viktor,” Yuuri leaned closer to his husband, meeting his wide eyes as he whispered against his lips “I just can’t wait to defeat you as a coach, too.”

Viktor blinked, cheeks pink and eyes wide, as Yuuri pecked him and skated away.

Yuuri laughed on the ice as Viktor was still at a loss for words, mouth agape.

He loved his husband dearly, as his best friend, his longtime crush, his lifelong hero. Then as a coach, a rinkmate, a lover.

But more than anything, he loved the spark in Viktor’s eyes as he saw him as an equal. A competitor. Someone that could match his genius, reflect it, and keep him going.

“Come on, Coach Viktor,” Yuuri laughed, “Don’t let me defeat you again!”

[elysianinsignia]

IDENTITY PAPER

                                      by: Mary Angelyn D. Villa

Life. One word but lies a thousand meanings and countless experiences. The life I hold is a journey to self-discovery. A trip for me to have a complete understanding of who I am and what I am. Who am I? Am I because of me? or am I me because of how the world molded me? Through the discovery of self, I can identify my purpose and actualize my potential. On the other hand, failure to embark on a pilgrimage of self-discovery will cheat on the opportunity to understand who I am and what I want out of my life.

For years, I never really understood myself. I never had the chance to have a full grasp on myself being a whole. For years, I never felt having a complete sense of self-identity, whose interest is concrete. For years, I was lost in my own realm with no concrete mastership, stability, and control. Growing up, I spent in confusion, with portions of who I am seemingly floating in the mist, my palms reaching out to grasp a piece of myself. Parts of me that I cannot fully latch onto for it ultimately slips through my fingers like warm water. 

 In my 18 years of existence, I have gone through a lot of roads. Tested me, shaped me, and let me realize a lot of things. My journey started on the year 2002 of December 8th, Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception; it all began when the curtain of night fell upon the province, a province chained together by credence, conviction, customs, and certainty. It was raining cats and dogs at that time. Cold air pierced one's skin, cars were complaining due to heavy traffic, but amidst it all was a woman, a woman drowning in tears because of the unbearable pain she was enduring like she was being torn apart. It was the day I was pushed out of my mother's womb to witness how harsh, hard, and harrowing the world could be. But before I could see the world itself, my father was put in a situation that almost took his sanity. A situation which he needs to decide, his wife;the love of his life  or his second-born daughter or else both will die. Instead of choosing, my father fled to the nearest chapel and prayed like there was no tomorrow. Cried rivers and knelt desperately. The moment I was pushed out, my grandmother immediately decided to name me Mary Angelyn. 'Mary' was included for I was born during the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception, the day for Mother Mary, and 'Angelyn' is a combination of "Angel" and my mother's name, Evelyn, it was combined with the word 'Angel' for the reason that my grandmother believed that all the angels of heaven and the Divine God sent an angel, I, to protect and guide my family.  

Since time immemorial, my family and my relatives had been religious and avid followers of the Almighty. Maybe it is because our forefathers are Spaniards, who were the ones who introduced Catholicism to the family, or maybe because of all the hardships, challenges, and misfortunes my family had experienced back then that led them to be closer than they ever were to the Almighty. On the other hand, I am a product of love from two individuals from two different localities. My mother was born, raised, and blossomed independently in the tropical paradise of the southern tip of the Philippines, where nature trippers find refuge in the clean, peaceful, pleasant sands of Sarangani. Despite the lack of financial support, she rose from the ashes and strived hard to have a brighter future. My mother did not disappoint herself; she graduated with flying colors. Contrarily, my father, 7 years older than my mother, was born and raised in one of the leading corn producers in the province. A municipality works under the slogan "Cooperative Efforts towards Peace and Progress." The difference between them is that my father had his full support, financially and mentally, from my great grandparents and his parents. He may have his family's full support; this does not change the fact that he needs to strive hard, more complex than he ever did before, to provide a bright future for his own future family. He succeeded. Graduated with flying colors.

The heartwarming affection of the two lovebirds that both have been showering upon me and my older sibling had put us in a pedestrian where we felt safe and protected from the monsters lurking in the dark, waiting for an opportunity. Both had opened our eyes and let us witness how big, and scary the world would be. How one's life can quickly be taken without any caution. This is the reason why on every holiday, free time, or even just a random day, our family would come together, have a simple buffet to catch up on each and every one. Since then, feasting and having yakiniku on a simple day has become a custom in the family. But one must take note that because our clan had a mixture of Spanish, Filipino and Japanese traditions, a simple day and buffet may often be complicated for a new guest. Since day one, as a daughter of a man who was born with parents that was introduced to different countries customs and traditions, we were taught Spanish rule such as to always keep your hands visible when eating; keep wrists resting on the edge of the table, one should not expect dinner any time before 9pm, and when invited to a home for a meal, it has become customary to give the host or hostess a gift: a good bottle of wine, dinner, sweets and/or a dessert. As for the Japanese, we have applied 'bowing' in our daily life. Bow in times of greeting someone or apologizing, asking a favor, or making a request. We also say "let's eat" instead of "itadaki-masu" before a meal. But, growing up in the Philippines, I have learned to be resilient, flexible, adaptive and put my family at the center of everything. Culture is likely compared to an onion; it has many layers, taken from different roots but puts the spice in our life. 

The influence of my family guided me in my journey with God as my sole compass. Although I may not realize it at the time, they made a difference and changed my life in a way I never could imagine. To think that they have a profound effect on my life forever is truly a blessing. It is because I've learned some of life's best lessons and often even learn a bit of myself.

In another way, in my journey, I have come to terms and wholly believed that everything that happens in one's life all happens for a reason, and sometimes that means we must face heartaches to experience joy. I may have been filled with comfort and care from my family, yet I still do experience difficulties, especially becoming a woman where I need to depend more on myself rather than on my loved ones; it has been a chaotic phase for me, where friendships run amok, setbacks are commonplace, and even I, who is one of the fortunate children out here still wanders through the woods for own self-discovery. However, at the age of 17, where the world has become unsafe due to the pandemic, it has become more difficult for me to navigate through the tides of my own everyday life. Eventually characterized by circumstances that ultimately shattered the notion of having a complete grasp on my self-identity, where instead of spending my time finding out who I am, I struggled with survival, always fleeing at the sight of danger. Yet, with everything that is happening- the pandemic, rallies, government negligence, and so on have let me exercise my power as a citizen, as a youth, and as an individual. Yes, I am young, but I know what is right from wrong. I'm not stupid. Speaking up against something that I know is inhumane and shouldn't be tolerated by anyone is beyond scary. This is why activism is never for the weak because fighting for what you believe is right takes courage, a lot of that. Frightening and life threatening. But I did it anyway. My parents did not raise a coward. I respect others as we all have different opinions on everything. Mine is way different from others, and others differ from mine. I am allowed to voice out mine as much as you are allowed to voice out yours. If you choose to close your mind and eyes, shut your ears and mouth, it's okay. If I decide to speak out, it's okay, too. All of us are encouraged to speak out, but we're never forced. It's a matter of choice. And this is what I will choose. Always.

I am not halfway through my journey. I am still blossoming.  But throughout my whole life, my entire journey, I've established my self-identity solely from the influences of those people and circumstances around me, adapting pieces of passers-by that arouse my interest until their significance vanishes into the wind, and my brain prepares itself for another gust of inspiration. In each road, I take, with its bumps and thorns that often strips my innate understanding of who I am by replacing images with ideas of how I should be, what I should look like, and how I should live out my life had let me discern that only by walking through its bumps and enduring the thorns when I can genuinely reveal the innermost workings of my most natural self and adapt on my whole persona, instead of allowing the road itself change and dictate how I should be. 

Nonetheless, I choose a life that will be an endless journey of self-discovery, an infinite collecting of portions of myself hanging in the mist just waiting for my palms to reach onto the pieces. Perhaps someday, I will have a full grasp of my identity as a person and find my niche and establish a foundation upon which to cement my self-identity. Yet, until that day arrives, I will persist with my self-discovery through the fog of danger, threats and challenges, and maybe I will emerge from the shadows with a triumph in my hands. My submersion into this journey has only just begun, and I will not relinquish hope in the face of defeat.

[webgeekist]

Holiday Karma Pie

I paid for someone’s groceries today.

I didn’t do it for the karma. I didn’t even do it for the charity. I did it because the lady in front of me was having technical issues, and the less-than-$30 bill was worth sparing my sanity and getting out of that line. I played it off as a Christmas thing, asked the lady to pay it forward, and assured her that, yes, I was serious when I said it was no big deal. It wasn’t. I was happy to pay to get out of there.

I have a habit of picking the worst grocery lines. I thought, for a while, it was just this new place I’m in, but then I went home for Thanksgiving and went through 20 minutes of hell waiting for the family in front of me to finish arguing with the cashier about the $20 in savings they weren’t getting because their coupons weren’t scanning, or whatever other nonsense was preventing them from scanning an entire conveyor belt full of items, $200 and two carts into the bill. We moved to another line, finally, when one seemed available nearby. When we left with our own hefty bill in the cart, they were still there, slowly scanning the rest of their items.

I am also the person who will pick up the one item out of 100 without a bar code, and take three of them to the checkout lane.

It’s funny, this idea that you can buy karma with good deeds, as if your motivations don’t count. I’ve seen The Good Place. I know better than that. My motivation today was entirely self-serving, as is most charity in this country. We overwhelmingly donate our time or our money because it makes us feel better about ourselves, not because we genuinely care about giving. We’re scared into doing the “right thing” by a book that has been mistranslated and misinterpreted for centuries, and somehow have this warped idea that doing the right thing will buy us grace. Good Karma. A spot in heaven. Optimal reincarnation. At the end, there’s always something in it for us.

I’m no better than others in that regard. I do good deeds infrequently, and when I do, it’s almost always born of convenience. “Would you like to pay an extra 63 cents to round up your bill and donate to the Children’s hospital?” Sure. “Would you like to donate a dollar to aid in wildfire relief for Sonoma County?” Whatever. “Give a dollar to homeless pets?” Okay. “Save free information!” Click.

The result is positive for the recipient. That doesn’t make the motive for donation genuine.

And it doesn’t make the universe less likely to balance out your good luck with misfortune.

I think about that a lot. I’m always grateful for the positive experiences in my life, but I’m hyper aware of the fact that they often come at a premium. There’s a trade owed the universe, and you will pay it in painful ways. Maybe it’s a hard lesson you need to learn after you land your dream job. Maybe it’s illness, recovery, and loss after you find a few years of companionship. Maybe it’s your family turning their back on you a month before your wedding to the love of your life. And oh, by the way, she’s a girl and you are, too.

I’ve enjoyed two years with my fiancée. I marry her in 23 days. How many of my family will actually show up? At this point, I’m not sure.

I took a job in the Bay Area in July. It wasn’t so sudden that my fiancée didn’t have input. She absolutely did, and though we didn’t expect to be able to afford Northern California, we’re happy we could make this work. Or, at least, that we will make this work after June, which is when her teacher’s contract runs out in Texas. I’ve raked up so many frequent flyer miles, going back and forth every spare moment, and in the airspace between SFO and DAL, I’ve uncovered an anxiety I never expected to have: a fear of flying.

I have flown a Cessna. I have logged hours in a genuine full-scale 737-700 simulator. My dad was a professional pilot at one point in his life, my uncle still is, and all his kids can fly. My grandfather flew for the Thunderbirds. My brother is on his way to being a commercial pilot. I am not afraid of planes.

I started crying and choking before walking through security. I panicked when I booked tickets. If not for some of them being booked immediately after I got the job, I would not have gotten on a plane after September, but I’ve been on five trips since, fifteen total, and for most of them the what-ifs and potential loss has consumed me to the point of paralysis. Every bump and adjustment on takeoff freaks me the fuck out. The changing sounds of the engines at different altitudes and powers freaks me the fuck out. It’s taken every moment of every one of those harrowing trips to learn how to manage the anxiety, to rationalize the noises I hear from the engines, to normalize the dips and turns out of each Bay Area airport, but come Thanksgiving, when I climbed on a plane for the first long break I’d gotten at the new company, when I was so over the project I was working on that I was relieved to be standing at another fucking gate and boarding another fucking plane, all the stress management techniques I’d gathered in my anxiety did nothing to stop me from experiencing sheer terror flying out of SJC, meeting some bumpy air, banking to head south down the coast to catch a connecting flight out of LAX and bouncing around in the turn. I landed at SAT five hours later, cried in relief when the plane touched down (I always do, and I thank the plane for getting me there. That plane’s name was Tank. I gave it that name.), and stumbled into the terminal as fast as my eighth row seat would allow.

And then, I went to my family’s Thanksgiving.

I should precede this with the statement that the nine days my fiancée and I spent at my mom’s house started fairly early on with some culture shock. My fiancée is in grad school, and one of her class assignments was a “cultural plunge.” That’s a hilarious concept, because her entire life is a cultural plunge. She was born in Houston, but raised completely in India, went to college in Singapore, and came back to the states after. Living here has been one awkward learning experience after another, and with her brown skin, it’s also often been an experience of racism, of profiling, of assumptions made by ignorant people. She can’t go through an airport without getting her bag inspected and a pat-down (that happened once with my mother, and after we told her that no, my brown fiancée really does get profiled, and my mom damn near got herself arrested chewing the TSA agents out because how dare you treat her daughter like that. Yes, my mom is privileged. But, go Mom). Her background in science has often made living in Texas not unlike living on an alien world where logic and reason are outlawed. And oh, she’s a lesbian too. Discrimination trifecta.

Anyway, she submitted the idea of going to a Catholic Church on Sunday and staying for a mass as a cultural plunge, because unlike her white middle-class native Texan classmates, this was something she’d never done before.

I mean, what are the odds that they’d pick a gospel that would somehow relate to one of the many hot-button issues that any church in a red state could pick? The Pope is fairly liberal for a Catholic, and neither my mother nor I really remembered the sermons being terribly political.

Clearly, it’s been a while since we attended church.

My mother was horrified. Here was an opportunity for her to show her daughter-in-law a bit of her culture, and her upbringing, and therefore a bit of where my own morals and morality comes from. Here’s a chance for her to prove to me that the church of her childhood might have had these tenants but the sermons didn’t get into specifics, and people mostly just tried to Love Thy Neighbor.

I was pissed. I glared hard at the deacon as he climbed off the dais and walked back to his seat, and I’m certain he saw me. I’m certain he paused for a half-step because he saw my face, which I’ve been told can be really menacing when I’m angry. I don’t keep my emotions to myself very often. I don’t have a poker face like my fiancée.

She couldn’t muster that face. She was openly crying and trying not to show it. This church – this remarkably diverse church where she didn’t stick out like a sore thumb, which had epistles in three languages, which was holding a bake sale as we walked in had on its staff a white conservative deacon who took an unrelated Gospel and warped it into a hateful political rant that didn’t hit one button. Oh no. That sermon was an IED array and it hit every single freaking target on the list.

We left during the Eucharist, and we didn’t buy a pie on the way out.

Five days after this experience that left us all in a drinking mood, and which after several bottles of wine was still a little painful, we went to the Thanksgiving party with my dad’s side of the family.

A lot of my aunts, uncles, and cousins seemed genuinely excited about the wedding. There was a bit of a shadow over one of my aunts because her father is really, really ill. Dad and my stepmother told a story about my grandmother, the escape artist, who is probably a lot more together than they think but who was put in an old folk’s home for people with memory problems about two months ago. I dread going to see her because the last time I saw her in a rehab facility, after she knocked her head and suffered the brain trauma that probably drove a lot of the symptoms she still has, it was a little difficult. It’s not going to be easy to see her in a home that isn’t actually her house. She apparently agrees, because she treats visitors to a tour of the place and asks a lot of pointed questions, like how many nurses are at the front station and whether or not you think someone can get to the parking lot from any given set of doors. She’s an inmate in a place she doesn’t feel comfortable staying, and she’s already made it to her car with an overnight bag once. But they have the keys locked up. I think she’s trying to figure out where they are.

She recognizes me. Remembers my name. Knows the wedding is soon. Asks about California. Hugs my future wife. And maybe goes through a few names before she gets some of my cousins’ and uncles’ names right, but she’s been doing that since I was four. We’re a big family. She always gets it right in under six tries.

My aunt looks hesitant to talk about her father, but she does. Both of us listen as she expresses her fears about being away, even for a day or two, because the doctors haven’t been very precise in telling the family to “spend time with him while you can.” It could be days, or maybe months, but probably not through winter because winter seems to be when so many people go, like the warmth-starved land sucks them dry. Which is weird, because we’re all from South Texas, and winter there is like 80 degrees.

We sympathize, and a pang of something I have only been able to define recently shoots through me. It feels like mortality, and reminds me of my fear of flying. It reminds me that I have this thing, this person, this state of being that I found and eventually will lose, that the loss won’t come when I’m ready for it (because that is never. I will never be ready for it). My heart hurts for her and my cousins, because the man is in his 80s like my two surviving grandparents, and that is a long and accomplished life, but it is still too soon for all of them. We have fought for my grandmother often enough and recent enough that I understand that position, too.

Hours later, before the annual turkey bowl, that aunt and my uncle, plus their oldest son come find my fiancée and I in the upstairs game room where most of the cousins retreat after lunch and before football. They ask us both to come out onto the balcony with them for a few minutes. Their younger son, recently married, follows shortly after with his new bride.

And my cousin starts….with a prayer.

“Heavenly Father, please guide our conversation today in your wisdom and light.”

I have my fiancée’s hand in my own. I hold it tighter. I know where this is about to go.

My cousin is a stalwart, honest guy. He’s the eldest son of two people who have always given where they could. They drop what they’re doing to help people, simply because they need help. They give within their means, which are better means than most. Their big and open hearts were passed to two of their three sons, both of whom were standing on that balcony with them. But they are sinners, my cousin says, all of them. And he is no better than anyone. He cannot cast judgment upon sinners as one of them, as someone who has been addicted to pornography, and has crossed lines with women. He loves us both, they all do, but surely we’ve read what the Bible says and it’s wrong, wrong, wrong.

My uncle says to us, we love you. We will not change how we treat you…but we’ve prayed about this for a while, and we can’t go to the wedding.

“We can’t celebrate the sin,” my cousin says.

And I know they love us, the best way they know how. I told them that I understood their perspective, though I disagreed, and respected their decision. We hugged, my aunt called me big-hearted, someone mentioned chocolate (it might have been me), and they started filing off the balcony.

I stayed behind and broke down in my fiancee’s arms.

See, my family had been outwardly accepting until that moment, when something finally broke enough for the first people to say something about it. And my fiancée – my tall, brown, “foreign” fiancée who has tried so hard to get my family to like her – felt instantly like all that effort had been for absolutely nothing. And I? I felt guilty for putting her in that position, for forcing us into a position where my family may never truly be okay with any of this, where a lifetime of loving and supporting each other so demonstratively may yet be lost on so many people I love, because somehow our relationship all boils down to sex to some people. Theirs is about love, but ours is about sex, and lust, and sin, and how the context of the Bible may be all about polyamorous lustful activities but a committed, loving, monogamous relationship between two women is just the same as sexually abusing guests and having orgies in front of idols and a really vague Greek word which in context probably means “men who sleep with boy prostitutes” but magically includes all people who engage in the act of sodomy and well never mind that you’re not actually doing that you’re just the same as the literal “man bed” who will not inherit the kingdom of heaven.

Maybe karma can keep that paradise, because I don’t want to spend eternity in a place where loving companionship is the same as assault. I get enough of that in the news.

It took me a while to come out of the bathroom I found to hide in, because there was no amount of water that could bring the redness down, and eventually my fiancée brought my closest cousin to find me. She saw us walk out, she counted the time, and she knew something had gone wrong. We told her what had happened.

This is the brewing rift. There are some people in our family who sit in Catholic services every Sunday and are not only going to the wedding but are genuinely excited for it. And there are some who might yet show up, but will be at the bar a lot.

Those excited for it will probably not enjoy learning why so many of us are absent. What happens then is probably not high drama, but probably won’t be business as usual either. Said my closest cousin, “I don’t know what to do with them now. You have a bigger heart than me for walking out of that situation without coming downstairs and telling everyone about it immediately.”

Twice in one day, in different contexts, two people I care about made reference to my perfectly normal sized, potentially smaller than average heart. Karma revealed the consequences of my good fortune that night, and they continue to unfold by the minute. For the first time in my life, I may miss Christmas with that side of the family this year. I suspect it won’t be the last thing we miss.

I climbed on the plane to come back to California two days later, and cried over the root of the problem with all these flights: the separation has been torture, and after the emotional week we had, it was going to be hard for us to heal apart. I put on my noice-canceling earphones and turned on Radiolab just before takeoff. It was a podcast about a girl without an identity, whose family kept her sheltered and off the grid, who didn’t have any kind of paper trail because her parents didn’t believe in social security numbers, and so never let her have one. I flew over Kerrville, where she had lived most of her life, while listening to the story. Takeoff was smooth. So was most of the trip back to SJC. And except for a really rough patch of air over New Mexico on the way to Dallas on Friday, my flights this weekend were just as painless.

I landed at SFO on Sunday and thanked the plane, as usual.

My eyes were dry.

[regular-lord-reckoner]

so i made it back from the conference and all that junk 

traffic was actually pretty decent in spite of this being a holiday weekend (which i decided fuck it, i want to take monday off with pto so...yeah, long weekend for me!) 

but like...i really appreciate that conference??? 

i honestly had zero expectations going in to it, honestly i was thinking about the mileage check and actually having something to do besides sit in my cold ass office dicking around all day 

but it’s all about integrating social-emotional learning into schools and places where we work with kids and just...goddamn, dude 

i’ve done so much fucking mindfulness training in the past two days (which is weird because right before i came i actually downloaded headspace on my phone) and it’s just been really nice 

obviously i’m still a depressed, anxious bitch at my core, at the center of my fucking being but just...stepping back from that for a second and not banishing that, not trying to get rid of it, but just...looking at it and going, “huh, okay. what can i do with this?” instead of just...drowning in it has been really nice 

i did a whole work shop about how stress, if you can retrain your brain, might actually be good for you??? obviously that’s waaaaaay easier said than done, so i’m not trying to be ~neurotypical as fuck about it, but if instead of letting that borderline panic attack response take a negative toll on your body if you change how you think about it and instead think, “i’m sweating and shaking and my heart’s pounding because i’ve got energy and adrenaline running through my body, i’m going to fucking CRUSH it” you can sort of turn that shit around and make it work for you. 

i dunno, there’s a whole video about it and some research that not-so-sleepy me will have to find, but it’s really interesting and reassuring in a way because cool, maybe stress doesn’t have to eat the body alive, maybe you can still have it because you can never fully control that, but you can figure out how to make it work for you instead of against you and it definitely takes some doing, again it’s not just as easy as going, “mmm, i’m gonna feel differently about this” you basically have to reprogram yourself but if you can it’s apparently pretty worthwhile 

but so there’s that and then again like...i took classes today on how to make the classroom a safer place for lgbtqa kids, how to make them feel included and to be respectful and like...getting to talk about how gender is on a spectrum and all the different types of pronouns and how gender identity and sexual orientation can interact together and what gender expression is verses identity and just...all that kind of shit in a room where no one’s huffing or rolling their eyes, but genuinely just trying to understand and get a handle on this inclusivity business, knowing that these people are going back into the world and helping kids like...it’s amazing 

same goes with that last class i took which was about how to teach kids about social justice issues 

again...this isn’t shit tumblr made up to make you feel bad for liking problematic media, it’s a concept and a movement that’s been researched and discussed for a long ass time now and actual educators are teaching other educators how to talk about these concepts with children 

there was no agenda-pushing, there was no bashing, there was no “so fuck this group of people, amirite???” it was just...hey, these are some things research has shown so how do we avoid doing the same and instead treat kids equally but also make them aware that these biases and microaggressions exist and that they may encounter them? 

our whole opening key note speaker presentation for the morning was about microaggressions and biases and trying to get us to be more aware of them

and hearing so many people speak up and say, “you know, this exercise made me really uncomfortable, but that’s a good thing because i should be thinking about this, i should be aware of this” like...MY GOD, YOU GUYS 

i know it’s so easy to get bogged the fuck down day in and day out with all the bad shit that’s happening and all the negative interactions we have or that we see, but i guess i just want to pass along that like...somewhere in this fucked up world change is trying to happen in the place where it has the potential to make the biggest impact and that’s with a new generation, with these kids who have the opportunity to do a little better than those who came before them. 

i’m not saying automatically someone who’s younger is going to be better, but that there’s so much potential there and right now this conference has pretty much just been in the nashville area and there were some people who traveled from other states to attend, but that next year they’re going national and having even more people come in from all over the country so like...idk

just know that educators who gave up two days of their summer down time are willing and empathetic enough to sit in classes all day long to try to understand how they can reach their students on a level beyond just teaching them curriculum and that even if they don’t completely understand some of these concepts or just weren’t aware that they exist and how important they are that learning is taking place and so many people were walking away from this with a greater understanding of these concepts 

i’m sure not everyone, that’s inevitable, some people were likely just there to socialize or shit like that, but like...i met so many wonderful people and even in the shortest of encounters when i asked people, “how’s the conference going for you?” all i heard was positive and about how much each person had learned and like...same, dude. 

i’m already familiar with all these concepts and i still feel like i got something really valuable out of this so just...don’t give up hope, i guess is what i’m saying. because even if change doesn’t seem like it’s happening or it’s not happening fast enough i’ve now seen and experienced first hand hundreds of people (i think there were almost 800 of us?) at least trying. and it shouldn’t have to be this way, change shouldn’t even be necessary because things should just....be good, i know, but they’re not and it’s horrible and people are still going to suffer no matter what but just...know that even if it seems like it, something, somewhere, in some way is being done even if it’s just a drop in the ocean 

[augustwinsome-blog]

Vacation Outtakes

On Wednesday morning, I have a very vivid, drawn out dream on that my laboratory is exposed to some intelligence group after an explosion occurs in one of the wings, and that I’m arrested at work and the whole thing is televised and I’m led out of the building with my jacket over my head. 

They put me on trial for treason, I’m found guilty, and I watch myself in court from a television in an NYPD police station. When I wake up, I immediately grab my phone to check the news. Nothing has actually happened - no explosions to speak of - but the anxiety of it keeps me in bed for some time, seized by what feels like a minor panic attack, paralyzed. At this point, it is still dark out.

That same afternoon, I am supposed to spend an hour or so alone at a friend of my mother’s house. I told her - my mother - that if she wanted me to, I would be more than happy to visit this woman, but by the time the date arrives I’m so reluctant to go that I spend an extra 10 minutes at the breakfast table, seated just one seat from Garth (ostensibly, because I want to be, but in reality because there was a concerted conspiracy to take up every other seat so that I truly had no other choice), mulling over whether or not I’m going to do this before determining that I have to, getting up to get dressed in a haze while Garth nudges their leg out from under the table in a covert attempt at tripping me that I notice and evade with a graceful hopping step. I end up leaving an hour early, and not because I am just that eager to meet this woman - who claims to have known me since childhood, but whom I hardly recall even in the backdrop of any of my more important memories from that time - but because we live in such a secluded area that driving anywhere - especially to someone else’s equally secluded home - is an ordeal that can take half an hour or more with good road conditions and little traffic. I haven’t slept for more than  consecutive hours in the last 24, which is probably why it takes me some time to get there (though I’m still not late), driving very, very carefully, mostly because obstacles keep arising that I can’t determine the realness of but would rather be safe than sorry about.

The woman - Elise, I think - greets me with a warm smile and I return it with all the subtle curves and infinitesimal details that make a smile ‘warm.’ She hugs me lightly and I do the same - but even more lightly, I tell her how refreshing it is to see her again, how lovely her home is. We are floating together through her large colonial, and I am replying graciously to her chatter, trying to ignore the shadows in the corner of my eyes. The sky is perfectly gray, rendering the whole white home also blue-grey and shadowless, like a flat plane without a single deviation. The flowers on the living room table around which she has me sit are bathed in a thin sheet of dust, which is what tips me off to their being fake - and they’re also overlaid in a blue-grey.

“And how is your mother?” She asks perfunctorily. “She’s doing quite well, very well.” I say with a smile, no idea what it is that just came out of my mouth, admiring a large vase on her living room mantle.

“I’m glad to hear that. And have you been enjoying the holiday?”

“Very much.”

“This weather has been lovely, hasn’t it? Perfectly mild.” She says. Why did she invite me here, I wonder. I find myself imagining her lying face down on the carpet, skull wedged open by a large porcelain shard of the vase, gray aberrations all over her arms, still twitching. I can’t help it. I clear my throat and try to clear the image but it won’t go away.   

“It’s been…. Very nice. Far less harsh than New York, it seems.” I say good-naturedly, and then covertly pinch my hand. The image goes away once she turns and I have the opportunity to blink a few times and cross my eyes, focus myself.

“Say nothing.” She smiles.

“Pardon?” ask.

“That’s lovely.” she enunciates again. I touch my watch carefully, running my finger over the row of buttons on the bottom panel of it as she starts off on a mild tangent about her daughter in New York, who’s finishing her final year at Barnard very soon. Barnard is my mother’s alma mater, so I guess that this would be relevant to me. She’s talking up the girl’s accounting credentials, which leads me to believe that she’s trying to secure her a job of some kind. We don’t hire recent graduates at my company - I am the only full-time employee under the age of 28 - but I don’t say anything.

“She’s so hardworking,” she admits. “Sometimes I worry about her. She’s so young.”

“It’s difficult to maintain that… balance these days. A work-life balance.” I say, nodding empathetically.

“How do you manage it?” She asks, seeming genuinely interested. I like it when people ask me for advice, so for a moment I find myself really, actually invested.

“Well… I find that it’s very important not to lose sight of the importance of hard work, devotion to that work. I think that the most important part of work life balance is… understanding that your work and life are not separate from one another.” I pause thoughtfully, she leans closer. “They are irrevocably connected. Work is… I apologize, did you say something?”

“Oh, no. No, no.” She rushes through it. “Please, go on.”

“Work is what keeps life from becoming monotonous. So, really, a balance between work and life doesn’t have to be even. I would consider it a… more of a ratio. A work life ratio.”

She nods silently, obviously confused, not willing to ask a question because she knows that I’m more intelligent than she is and - if she it doesn’t understand - It’s more than likely her fault. “Many people believe that a balance entails a net-zero difference, and that’s not necessarily true,” I warn. “This is why many are never fully able to achieve their potential: because they’re so concerned with reaching someone else’s arbitrary concept of ‘balance’, rather than their own.”

“Fascinating…” she breathes. “How fascinating.”

“There was an interview in Business Insider in… November I believe? Where I discussed this. You might send it to her if you think that it would be useful.”

We talk for 45 minutes, during which my vision is continually blurring at the image and I’m experiencing lapses during which I keep thinking that I should get up and grab that large gilt vase and smash it over her head just to see if it would be possible, something I have no control over - but I’ve become so adept at functioning on this level regularly that it doesn’t effect the conversation or even startle me. I look like I’m paying rapt attention, though partway through the discussion when I suddenly snap like a rubber band into the moment, I realize that I’ve not idea how it is that we’ve reached the subject we’re discussing. I feel slightly sorry for it because I hadn’t actually meant to lose track, but not too sorry - given that she apparently is none the wiser.

-

On Thursday morning at 3:30 or 4:30 in the morning, I can’t sleep at all. Everything in the house lies still except me, and maybe the cat. Even Romeo is still sleeping, which really says something because they hardly ever go to bed before I do - neither of us being particularly regular sleepers. But at the moment, they’re dead to the world - and I don’t want to violate that, so I untangle myself from them as gently as I possibly can.

When I get out of bed I’m very careful not to wake them or anybody else up with my movement, dazed and searching. This isn’t so difficult because of the thickness of our walls and doors, and the familiarity that I have with my childhood home and every creaking floorboard. I shuffle very quietly into my night shoes, positioned at the edge of the bed, and don’t bother to dress any further. I have a niggling feeling that it will get in the way of something - that I won’t have enough time to get dressed - which makes no logical sense, but I still find myself standing at the head of the room in nothing more than a fleece set of nightclothes and moccasin houseshoes.  When I leave, I shut the bedroom door behind me very quietly - sorry to leave Romeo alone, but feeling that I have no other choice -  and then I go in a haze all the way downstairs. At night, the vast space that one finds themselves at the bottom of the main stairs looks like an alien landscape. The moonlight carves ridges into the hardwood, all the white furniture gleams silver and blue. Lorraine is a small blob of a shadow in the center of the plain, blotting out a hole in the scene. I examine her thoughtfully, focused on this animal. I make eye contact with her for a weird minute or two from the bottom of the stairs before she becomes bored or senses something I suppose and begins in the opposite direction. I think about going after her, but I don’t.

I leave the house through the solarium door - which is the way I’ve always gone. If you look very, very closely at the knob of the solarium door, you may well see my fingerprints permanently driven into it. I prefer it because it opens to the garden, and isn’t as heavy as the other doors in the house so you can’t hear it so clearly when it opens or shuts.

It is exceptionally cold outside, but I didn’t expect anything else. The sky is a powerful black, the moon carving a large hole out of it so that it appears almost like one is standing at the bottom of a manhole or a well with the cover removed. The moonlight, however, seems to have been obstructed by something before it was able to reach the ground - except for the stony pond in the center of the garden a step from the patio of the solarium, where it floats contentedly in the square middle. This sight soothes me for no particular reason, I guess maybe because it’s familiar. Forest surrounds the property on two sides, with the other two sides opening to a clear swatch of land that - at night - is indistinguishable between land and sky, with both being so clear and so black, but for a silver sliver that runs between the two like a string of gilt thread. There are no lights outside except for the sconce on the patio, whose rays don’t quite reach me.

I start on the edge of the garden, skirting the outer hedges where the facade of the house is almost entirely flat, and make my way from the northeast most corner of the properly, and then the west, and then the south through the dark thick of the woods, out again and in again. I’m not thinking much at all, besides that Rhode Island would not have been good for me in the long run, that there are too many people spread too far apart there, that if I planned to return here after college - I was going to have a very rude awakening, that the lack of white noise in these rural parts is probably why I can’t sleep, stop, Lorraine got out somehow and is in that tree over there, that I should probably go back to the city soon, that the scenario of a laboratory explosion was still a distinct possibility and that every moment I spend away is another moment I leave open to some sort of freak accident that could be prevented if only I were around to preempt it, maybe if I keep going for long enough I’ll get there or a solution will come to me, go back, stock prices go down when I’m not within city limits, if I go too far out of the bounds of the property something bad will also happen, I should go into Garth’s room and light their sheets on fire, go back, a reservation at Jeanette’s is difficult to get, turn left and then stop or you’ll step on something that you’d rather not step on, I hope that my father doesn’t find out my mother is seeing someone, disaster reels, bergamot oranges, Lorraine is on the patio, two moons, and plastic grass.

I come back inside when the sun is only beginning to rise, and the string division between the sky and ground starts to widen. When I get back into bed - Lorraine shut out of the bedroom for trying to follow me from downstairs, maybe catching the smell of ozone on my clothes -  Romeo sleepily flinches away from me, pitching a muttering complaint about me being cold, but it isn’t long before he’s taking my hand and blowing warm air against it, not fully awake but still thoughtful - maybe not cognizant of the fact that logically, there is no reason for me to be this cold unless I had been outside for quite some time but not questioning it. I don’t end up falling asleep again, but I am also not fully functioning and awake again until 10 o’clock in the morning, spending the hours between my return and then in something like a catatonic stupor.

-

On Friday morning my mother wants private time with me - she wants to “regroup” - so we go to Tiffany’s together for brunch, alone; me in a very handsome ensemble that includes a sweater I was bought for Christmas and a her carrying a lovely black Birkin bag that I bought her for Christmas. I expect to pay for everything, but I don’t care. She wears round sunglasses that I also bought her as a Christmas gift on the car ride there, a trip on which my mother provides the directions. I say that I can use my GPS to navigate, but she insists that they’ve moved recently, too recently for GPS. When I’m not in the city, I drive a Tesla Model S. When I’m not in the city, I drive a Tesla Model S. My mother likes it far more than my Rolls Royce, and she makes her preference known each year: she calls the Rolls “a monster.” She describes it as “an obstacle.”

At the restaurant, we’re seated by a tall bay window in some secluded corner. It throws large rectangles of white over my mother and me, rendering her auburn hair a pale blond and my hands featureless. The whole restaurant is broken up by slats of white from the shaded windows, tables are bisected by blue swaths of shadow. Every plain tablecloth within reach of the light looks silver, flowers on top - soft and the vases - indistinguishable. It seems like it should be warm, springtime weather outside but of course it’s not. All of the faces are made gleaming and amorphous, until the only two that still stand out starkly are those of mother and me, even though most of hers is obscured by her round sunglasses and a hand rested on her cheek. I blame my stress and lack of good sleep for everything sounding filtered through a sheet of water. It takes an inhuman amount of concentration to look fully engaged, and it’s not that I don’t want to be or that I find her boring - I simply am not.

“You look very chipper.” She says suddenly. “Very bright.”

“I am,” I reply, not detecting sarcasm. “I am quite… chipper. I slept well.”

“Did you?”

“I did. You’ve kept the bedroom as inviting as ever.” I say, smiling. “That’s good.. Very good. I’m glad to hear that. I do know how finicky you can be with sleeping arrangements…” She says, sounding almost timid. Finicky is code for “prone to sleep disturbances,” which I do have a regular basis - but I’m sure that that’s not what she wanted to hear. “I hear… well, pacing - it sounds like. Sometimes I go down the hall to get a glass of water or use the restroom or… and I hear footsteps coming from your room.“

"Ah, well: that’s not me. That’s the white noise track I’ve been using. I’ve been sleeping well."She looks momentarily alarmed: I can see the divot above her eyebrow where she’s quirked it behind her shades. 

"Is it? Is that…What you listen to for white noise?”

“It’s just a… ritual of mine. It’s very soothing. I do it regularly at home, it’s only that I’ve become used to it." 

"That’s lovely.” She breathes.  "I’m delighted to hear that.“ She smiles cautiously, but I can tell that she’s still mulling over my lie and cannot make sense of it. 

She lowers her shades slowly. "Oh sweetheart,” she sighs “It’s so lovely to spend these little moments with you.” She looks at me, raises her eyebrows emphasitorily, and then looks away again. “It’s so important that we spend time with one another… These days, you know.”

The statement has no logical connection with anything else she’s said thus far, so I’m unclear as to where it’s come from.  I think that maybe I’ve missed something."I want you to know,” she continues. “That nobody will ever come between you and me.”

“I know that,” I say finally, maybe even cutting her off slightly - but not meaning to. It’s only that I’d rather not discuss it here, now. “I’ve never doubted it.”

She gestures vaguely. She rubs her eyes, pinches and rolls her fingers, and then the sunglasses go back on. “Well, I felt that I should reinforce. There are certain things that can never be said too many times.”

A waiter materializes seemingly out of nowhere and takes our orders: grapefruit juice - actually, cranberry - a halved grapefruit, one Americano, one iced tea with mint and lemon, the milk and sugar on a platter. I’m still pondering what route he could have possibly taken to arrive so quickly at our table without my noticing. She begins speaking again once the waiters disappeared into another hot pane of light, tells me that I’ve  not been secretive about my disapproval of what she’s doing - dating - but that she’d “like [my] support.” She hesitantly wants to know… something, I don’t know. I’m momentarily distracted by the thought of the waiter. I only look at her for a moment, not to indicate anything, but because I simply did not quite hear her and am now trying to posthumously process the words she said - dead on my ears - in conjunction with the movement of her lips, but she seems to become unsure of the question when confronted with my momentary silence, and sighs uselessly “Well, it is so difficult to tell with you.”

“Is it?” I recoup. 

“Oh, you’ve hardly told me anything.” She whines, and picks up the crystal glass with the cranberry juice.

“Haven’t I?" 

"Stop it, Claudius." 

She purses her mouth. 

"I’m sorry. Did I say something?”

“You know just what you’re doing.” She closes a straw between her lips. I glance down and suddenly there’s a small mound of sugar in a silver bowl. The grapefruit halves fleshy part points skyward, stiffly sparkling. “You’re being… sarcastic. You’re not being serious.”

“My apologies.”

“It’s only that you’ve been so distant recently, and now - well… You’ve always been sensitive to change. And with everything that’s gone on.. I can hardly imagine how you’ve been faring in the city..” She pauses thoughtfully. “Sensitive. You’ve always been quite sensitive.”

“I’ve developed a thicker skin.” I smile reassuringly and then glance back down at my saucer. “But have you, really?”

“Now you’re being sarcastic.” I reply, still looking down. When I look up again, I’m not looking her directly in the eyes - but over her head. It looks like I’m looking at her directly, but I’m not.  I’m distracted by a pair sitting at the table to our left. The steams from the food of the pair seated at the table to our right overtake the citrus smell that permeates our small sphere. I’m distracted by their conversation, of which I catch very little besides some benign talk about winter coats. “People do pay attention,” one of the two - a woman, presumably - says to the other “to the way that you button your coat. I’m telling you, they do.”

“…And, oh, Claudius. I’m concerned.” I’ve lost track of her again.

“Alison’s son. He works on Wallstreet, you know. You do know, don’t you?” She asks. I nod my agreement. Alison’s son is hardly a speck in my eye, but I have seen him before - sometimes if I’m on the exchange. “He commutes an hour from work each day - back and forth - but he says that it’s worth it, the added security is very much worth it.” “I’m sure, but he and I are not in even similar lines of work.” I reply. She considers my statement, and her relentence to the fact that I do have a point is in her shrugging body language. She asks me in defeat if I’m going to eat my grapefruit that - for some time - I hardly recall ordering, let alone having it brought to me. I pick up a knife and right the grapefruit onto its bottom, sawing with a butter knife until the half has been halved, and then placing the second half onto a small saucer, which she accepts curtly. “I’m afraid that we have absolutely nothing in common,” I continue. “Alison’s son.. [voice, lowered] is not the kind of individual I aspire to be. I will put it that way. I do not want to be Alison’s son. I will do everything within my power not to be Alison’s son…”

She frowns. “Now, what’s so wrong with Alison’s son?”

“You know very well what’s wrong with Alison’s son.”

“Oh, stop.” She says without force.

Her hand - dimly freckled like my own, and suddenly I find myself realizing how small and fragile looking it really is - plays as if it’s going to stretch to mine, but retreats. My hand does too, perhaps as a reflex. First, they were laid flat on the table, now they’ve pulled back into a politely covered fist.

“I understand your concerns, but I can assure you that I’m perfectly alright. I’m doing well.” I say.

“I’ve told I don’t want you to be…hurt…” Pause. “Physically. And I don’t want you to become unhappy." 

"You shouldn’t worry yourself about my happiness. I’m very happy.” I assure her, not lying.

“But sweetheart, I am.” She considers her grammar. “I.. do.”

“Then… I’m not sure. I’m sorry then.” I say. Silence. I’m looking out of the window, thinking that I see somebody standing on the lawn. The sky freezes into a painting, the grass looks markedly fake - like plastic, the sun beats brutally onto the lawn, the cranberry juice in the glass looks like blood.

[aftermyshahada-blog]

My Online Dating Experience

Ah! This is the much anticipated post about my experience dating online as a Muslim woman! This is the post that everyone has been waiting for since I mentioned it yesterday (click here-please read yesterday’s post first!), so here I go. Am I having success? Or has it been an awful, overwhelming experience? Well, keep reading to find out!

BACKGROUND

I was born and raised in Wisconsin (USA) and I will be 27 in a few months (August 2017). On June 3, 2017 I will be moving to California (USA) because I accepted a teaching position at a private school that will begin June 12th. In less than 25 days, I will be embarking on an exciting, new adventure. The only think that is currently missing from my life is love and romance.

I'm an energetic, spunky, fearless, educated Muslim, which sometimes is a surprise to people because I am also I'm a romantic at heart. I'm an idealist and a strong believer in the power of love and I hope and pray one day that I will find true love and a life-long companion. I love the idea of love and I enjoy every novel ever written by Nicholas Sparks. The whole idea of loving and being loved by someone is intoxicating! The concept of soul mates is beautiful: two people who are fated to be together and will always find a way to one another no matter what the circumstances are. I radiate positive energy and I love cheesy holidays like Valentine's Day. No matter how many bad experiences I have had and no matter how many times my heart has been broken, I desperately believe that love exists and I will find it one day.

Yes, I have a lot on my plate right now: completely relocating to a different state, establishing my life in a new place, starting a new job, and on top of all that, Ramadan is fast-approaching (my first Ramadan as an actual Muslim). With that being said, I still want to find true love, which is why I signed up for online dating. With everything that I have on my plate currently, I figured that I am not likely to meet someone or fall in love any time soon, so I might as well just dip my toes in the water and use online dating as something to pass the time with the hopes of meeting someone eventually.

DATING IS HALAL

Many Muslims tell me that dating is forbidden in Islam, which irritates me. I am a firm believer than dating can be halal (click here to read why I think Muslims should date.) Many Muslims also tell me that Allah guides us and only He will reveal a match to us when we are ready. That statement also irritates me. Yes, I agree that Allah has a plan for our lives, but I also believe that we must also play a very pro-active role in our own lives in order to achieve our goals, dreams, and desires. Online dating is my way of being pro-active even though I have a lot of new changes and responsibilities on my plate right now. I have very high expectations and standards. I have had enough relationships and interactions with people to realize that I don't want to settle for anything mediocre. Like I said previously: I am a romantic at heart and I want to find true love and a life-long companion.

WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR

I admire integrity, honesty, and respect. I believe that trust is the foundation of any good relationship. I like people who are intelligent, sincere, and genuine. I need someone who is responsible and reliable while also being fun, exciting, and adventurous. I want to be with someone that I can make memories with. I value hard work, passion, and determination. I am warm, affectionate, understanding, and thoughtful, and I want to be with someone who is the same way. I want a partner who can make me smile and laugh. I want someone who will see me as an equal; I need someone I can build a life with. I am a modern, progressive/liberal Muslim and I need a partner who shares my values.

Is there anyone in this universe that might possibly match that description? Would there be someone out there as modern, progressive, and liberal as myself? When I signed up for Muslima.com, I was doubtful.

ONLINE DATING IS LIKE BUYING A NEW CAR

Online dating is definitely interesting. It's a little bit like shopping for a car. You have an idea of the basic make and model that you desire. And you probably have a list of specifications and options that you would like to have, but you also understand that finding the perfect car for you will be a challenge. So, you are going into the process with the idea that you will probably have to settle on the best car that you can get. You accept this reality and you begin your search. You look at a million pictures, read lots of details, make comparison, and hopefully you will find something that sparks your interest.

Online dating is trying to find a partner after sifting through a sea of selfies and self-advertisements before landing on one that you think might satisfy you most. You "favorite" each other in the same way that you add items to your Amazon Wish List of Pin recipes you want to try later, then you schedule an in-person interview during which you'll have all manners of “nonversation” while in your head furiously trying to calculate whether or not this person should advance to the second round.

The process of online dating I described sounds like the opposite of romantic, doesn't it?

OVERWHELMING

Within minutes of posting my profile, I had over 300 messages from men interested in chatting with me and getting to know me; I wondered how many of them actually read my profile instead of just looking at my picture and deciding I was attractive. I eliminated all messages from men not living in the United States. This left me with about 100 messages. I sifted through those messages and narrowed them down to people living in California, the state in which I would be moving to in less than a month. This left me with about 30 messages. I narrowed it down further to men that lived within a 50-100 mile radius of Walnut Creek, the town I am moving to. This left me with about 15 messages. I read through the profiles and deleted almost all the messages except 5.

After one or two messages exchanges between me and these five individuals, I was shocked. I was asked how wide my hips were, if I had any disabilities, if I would be willing to meet their family soon, and I nearly unplugged my computer. These men clearly did not share my interests or values. And they clearly did not view the concept of dating in the same way that I did. I deleted all those messages, but a few hours later, my message box was flooded with about 800 more messages. It was overwhelming.

MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN?

But there was one profile that caught my eye: an attractive, Egyptian-American, laid-back, well-educated, liberal Muslim man only a few years older than me. For sake of anonymity, I will call him J. So, J messaged me asking to get to know me more. When he asked for my phone number, I froze. Danger alarms rang in my head. But then, he clarified and said that texting would be easier than emailing messages back and forth on Muslima.com. I agreed with him, so we began communicating via WhatsApp.

THE BASICS

Almost immediately on WhatsApp, we got the big things out of the way: we established that we both love dogs, which is important to me. And then more seriously, we established that we are both looking for friendship and dating with the potential opportunity for a relationship, and maybe, just maybe, marriage in the future. J very clearly stated that he isn’t interested in rushing into things. This comforted me.

We talked about what we were looking for and what is important to us. He said he is looking for a kind, smart, funny, simple, family-oriented girl who would will become his best friend. He wants someone who is romantic, educated, and ambitious. He said that he needs a woman who is enlightened and open-minded; someone who is religiously disciplined but also progressive/liberal. J needs a Muslim woman who carries herself equally between the Islamic world and the American/Western world.

That describes me almost perfectly. With much excitement, we continued getting to know each other.

We messaged back and forth about our daily lives, careers, and education. And we discussed family, politics, and our childhoods. We discussed hobbies and life goals. We also talked about our views regarding children, careers, sex, and marriage. Almost immediately, I was able to decide that I was interested in getting to know him and talking further. I saw him and I as being very compatible; he felt the same way.

However...

MY BIGGEST CONCERN

From the very beginning, before we even started talking via WhatsApp, I saw that his profile said he lived in California, but not in the same city that I would be living in. That didn't really bother me and I didn't feel like that was a concern. Later, after talking more and feeling a connection with the interest of pursuing one another, I started thinking logically about how big the state of California actually was. This prompted me to look up what the actual distance between us would be: 403.5 miles.

Immediately, my heart sank.

I haven't even moved to California yet and there is about 2,000 miles of distance (a 31-hour drive) between us. And when I finally do move in less than a month, there will still be about 400 miles between us?

How is this even going to work?!

THE END OF THINGS?

I messaged J and I brought up my concerns about him potentially living 403.5 miles from Walnut Creek, which is (according to Google Maps) about 6 or 7 hours away driving, 10 hours away via Transit, or a 1.5-hour flight. 

To be honest, if I were on another dating site, and I was living in Manitowoc, Wisconsin, and someone from Indianapolis, Indiana sent me a message about wanting to get to know me, I would probably check out their location, see that they live about 6 hours away, and delete their message because I don't see potential in building something with someone who lives that far away. 6 hours is quite the distance. 

This is why I am concerned about J living so far away, especially because when I first move to California, I am not going to have my own vehicle at least for the first 5 months, perhaps longer. My condo is within walking distance of where I will work, and I plan to bike or take public transportation everywhere.

I was sure that this might be the end of things.

I was surprised when he wasn't concerned at all. He told me that the distance was still 100% driveable and regardless whether we spent time in my city or his city, it would be memorable and we would probably have many really amazing weekends. 

His response pleased me greatly, but hasn't eliminated that concern from my mind completely.

MOVING FORWARD: Me and J

So, after about a week spent messaging on WhatsApp, I decided decided that it was safe to give him my cellphone number and add him on Facebook. 

I also checked the Muslima.com website. After not checking it for a week, I had over 1,500 messages from various men. None of them were as appealing as J. Staring at all those messages was also extremely overwhelming, so I decided to officially delete my profile on Muslima.com.

Don't freak out, let me explain.

I'm not rushing into things and I didn't delete my dating profile because I am 100% convinced that I have found my soulmate. I only deleted it because J is the only person I am interested in right now and beyond that, the website wasn't meeting my expectations. So, now I can just focus on myself, relocating to California in 24 days, beginning a new job in less than 35 days, and I can focus on getting to know J more.

WHERE WE ARE AT NOW

It's crazy to think that he and I began talking almost a month ago and things seem to be going extremely well. I think that the distance between us (me being in Wisconsin at the moment and him being in California) is helping to create a solid foundation on which to possibly build a friendship or potential dating relationship. We text back and forth just about every day and we talk on the phone about once a week now. I am hoping to Skype with him at least once before we meet in person, but if that doesn't happen I suppose I won't be too devastated. We are planning to meet in person a week or so after I move to California and I can't wait!

INCREDIBLE GUY

J is incredibly intelligent, responsible, patient, understanding, and handsome. He's truthful and straight-forward with me and I'm attracted to his love for adventure. I like that he is open-minded. I am also attracted to the classy simplicity of who he is and his lifestyle. He works hard, but he also plays hard and is interested in bettering himself. He has wonderful goals and dreams for the future and he is very affectionate. He is always making me laugh and the sweet texts he sends to me make me to smile.

It seems that he is just as enthralled with me as I am with him, which is a good thing.

Because I am such a romantic at heart, I desperately want things to be as amazing in-person as they are right now through texts, emails, and talking on the phone. He seems like an amazing guy. 

However, I can't help but worry.

UP NEXT: MY FEARS & INSECURITIES

Be on the look out for my next post tomorrow or later this week, which will talk more about my dating/love life concerns, my worries, my insecurities, and my fears. I will also talk about my flaws and some of the little things that might make me appear to be just a tad bit neurotic! Haha

LINKS TO SOME OF MY OTHER ARTICLES

Curious about what I look like? Click here. 

Interested in the story of how I became Muslim? Read about it here. 

If you want to learn more about my views on Islamic dating, click here.

I am a scientist and a Muslim. How is that possible? Click here and find out! 

I don't wear hijab every day, click here to read about my preference. 

Click here to read about me relocating to California. And click here to donate to my GoFundMe to help me with the costs of relocating for my job. 

Read about my struggles with weightloss here. 

What was my family's reaction when I told them I converted to Islam? Find out here. 

Click here to read a funny story about how I injured myself while praying. 

Click here to read about how much I love my doggy. 

Click here to read my thoughts on Liberal Islam. 

Want to understand what Sharia Law REALLY is? Here is the article I wrote. 

Click here to read about my struggles with learning Arabic. 

I think women should pray while on their period. Click here to read why. 

My thoughts about science and religion can be found here. My ex-boyfriend and I used to argue about this topic a lot. 

Click here to read my first article about the Muslim Ban and click here to read my second article about the Muslim Ban. 

Click here for a list and links to the first 50 articles that I wrote on Tumblr. 

Wanna know my views about LGBTQIA+ people? Click here. 

[5hit-i-l00k-at]

2019 Aston Martin DBX Concept And Price

New Post has been published on http://www.latestcarprice.com/2017/05/2019-aston-martin-dbx-concept-and-price.html

2019 Aston Martin DBX Concept And Price

2019 Aston Martin DBX Concept And Price – Through March of 2015, the Gaydon reported that Aston Martin these days considerably more issues in the exterior when compared with almost every other costly GT collectively together with the first take into account the eighty-fifth GENEVA Globally ENGINE display from a substantial DBX designs. Designed to defy regular thinking about the most notable study course GT section, the particular DBX Principle enlarges the appeal through the well-known The the English language words and phrases pricey brand name as well as in truth gets to in a far more diverse all over the world business than properly before. The DBX Principle is without question more than a regarded amateur for anyone like us then for the personal clients, even so. Most of we are usually in predicted training instruction program, get straight into a car into any new DBX area. Because of this I am just considerably in search of in the direction of monitoring decrease how this concept is positively attained not simply suitable at pre-existing, and in addition to our word related to right now committed shoppers and thru these prospective customers regarding the planet which have, in the diploma, but to think about a particular from the cars.

Redesign

Introducing that will concept, Aston Martin Crucial professional recognized Physician. Andy Palmer pointed out: “The DBX Idea will likely be difficult for the current standing up up-right quo within the increased high-quality GT industry. It envisages the city, maybe an environment, not very a significant extended distance out, when high-quality GT traveling is not merely stylish and splendid and also a great deal more useful, far more family and friends-pleasant and much more ecologically sensible. “I essential my crew in Aston Martin cultivate their thinking about time and time again occasions, to discover just the thing the potential of top quality GT driving would are in yrs forward, as well as the DBX Method you can see effectively just before being the actual result.” Doctor Palmer more: “This is, plainly, not just a manufacturing completely ready sporting activities GT car. However, it is an aspect of new, beautiful considering of the things that Aston Martin GT customers near all over the world could ask for folks within your impending.

It will give you ample holiday luggage capacity with the proven fact that it’s back again end trunk area area place area and frontward bodyweight bay can, in the same way, think about passengers’ resources. Opulence and groundbreaking trend go palm-in-palms throughout the DBX Standard concept many thanks for a exceptional combination of higher-summary and trendy approaches. These traits, allied for the smart usage of superb resources and area surface finishes inside and out, are calculated to help increase the charm of Aston Martin. All the concept’s exterior beautiful manage the particular brand’s method of creating use associated with genuine factors and includes machined billet lightweight aluminum with noticeable milling series in a modest amount of outstanding skillfulness supposed to have already been considered like the car’s cherished jewellery. This DBX Concept’s specific very clear, relaxing color finish – Darker tone Pearl Chromium – is becoming especially created to vainness looking glass the appear to be of the genuine dark shade color pearl, and has a small very good handling of stainless to provide an accumulation reflectivity that will not get employing all-all-normal thoroughly clean thoroughly clean shade area surface finishes. Inside, the purposeful using diminished-auto regular parts generates a distinctly adjustable, cocooning atmosphere.

medianet_width = "600"; medianet_height = "250"; medianet_crid = "212177824"; medianet_versionId = "111299"; (function() var isSSL = 'https:' == document.location.protocol; var mnSrc = (isSSL ? 'https:' : 'http:') + '//contextual.media.net/nmedianet.js?cid=8CUL28ZF4' + (isSSL ? '&https=1' : ''); document.write('<scr' + 'ipt type="text/javascript" id="mNSC" src="' + mnSrc + '">' + 'ipt>'); )();

                                                     See Also: 2019 Aston Martin Vantage Price

The important strategy of velvet-like Unbuckle leather-based-based material dissimilarities with the concept’s challenging, hello there-systems things. The subjected organic and natural and all-natural normal all-natural leather-based discloses a sandwiched focus on a period, far more similar to increased-finish house furniture, though car’s interior, amazing wear matches the ones from the outer lining with incorporating a shining ‘pin striping’ part about the edging. Marek Reichmann reviewed: “The outstanding skillfulness, with conveying a lot more typically observed on top quality customer products or okay cherished precious jewelry, delivers the DBX Strategy genuinely worldwide charm.”

Engine

Using the most revolutionary systems techniques as well as hypotheses, these types of DBX Simple concept demands no engine inside of price range about the consumer banking accounts inside the make the courses of electronic, inboard-of-tire, individuals encouraged by lithium-sulfur muscle tissues. Quest-by-cable television power powered directing toughened home windows are making use of the auto-dimming ‘smart glass’ inter-schooling, and tailored car owner and man or woman tips-up discloses are initial types of its greatest benefit design know-how.

Physician Palmer exposed: “A strategy car most of these as this must, within my see, have problems normal contemplating and learn the artwork job in the probable. Inside the DBX Strategy, I actually do feel we certainly have designed a brand new variety linked to the high-quality car which could not only boost the getaway host to Aston Martin for any entirely new turn out to be old bracket of consumers but continue to keep with delight nearby the slumbering with the nighttime in our personal array.”

Price

The actual company is thinking of new developing areas on this planet – which include some indicates the southern part of the portion of the US crossover Jaguar’s earlier internet site close to Browns Lane, Coventry. Wales acquired using its blend of govt allows and proximity for your pre-existing Gaydon HQ. Making function commences in 2018.

[levaduraa]

2019 Aston Martin DBX Concept And Price

New Post has been published on http://www.latestcarprice.com/2017/05/2019-aston-martin-dbx-concept-and-price.html

2019 Aston Martin DBX Concept And Price

2019 Aston Martin DBX Concept And Price – Through March of 2015, the Gaydon reported that Aston Martin these days considerably more issues in the exterior when compared with almost every other costly GT collectively together with the first take into account the eighty-fifth GENEVA Globally ENGINE display from a substantial DBX designs. Designed to defy regular thinking about the most notable study course GT section, the particular DBX Principle enlarges the appeal through the well-known The the English language words and phrases pricey brand name as well as in truth gets to in a far more diverse all over the world business than properly before. The DBX Principle is without question more than a regarded amateur for anyone like us then for the personal clients, even so. Most of we are usually in predicted training instruction program, get straight into a car into any new DBX area. Because of this I am just considerably in search of in the direction of monitoring decrease how this concept is positively attained not simply suitable at pre-existing, and in addition to our word related to right now committed shoppers and thru these prospective customers regarding the planet which have, in the diploma, but to think about a particular from the cars.

Redesign

Introducing that will concept, Aston Martin Crucial professional recognized Physician. Andy Palmer pointed out: “The DBX Idea will likely be difficult for the current standing up up-right quo within the increased high-quality GT industry. It envisages the city, maybe an environment, not very a significant extended distance out, when high-quality GT traveling is not merely stylish and splendid and also a great deal more useful, far more family and friends-pleasant and much more ecologically sensible. “I essential my crew in Aston Martin cultivate their thinking about time and time again occasions, to discover just the thing the potential of top quality GT driving would are in yrs forward, as well as the DBX Method you can see effectively just before being the actual result.” Doctor Palmer more: “This is, plainly, not just a manufacturing completely ready sporting activities GT car. However, it is an aspect of new, beautiful considering of the things that Aston Martin GT customers near all over the world could ask for folks within your impending.

It will give you ample holiday luggage capacity with the proven fact that it’s back again end trunk area area place area and frontward bodyweight bay can, in the same way, think about passengers’ resources. Opulence and groundbreaking trend go palm-in-palms throughout the DBX Standard concept many thanks for a exceptional combination of higher-summary and trendy approaches. These traits, allied for the smart usage of superb resources and area surface finishes inside and out, are calculated to help increase the charm of Aston Martin. All the concept’s exterior beautiful manage the particular brand’s method of creating use associated with genuine factors and includes machined billet lightweight aluminum with noticeable milling series in a modest amount of outstanding skillfulness supposed to have already been considered like the car’s cherished jewellery. This DBX Concept’s specific very clear, relaxing color finish – Darker tone Pearl Chromium – is becoming especially created to vainness looking glass the appear to be of the genuine dark shade color pearl, and has a small very good handling of stainless to provide an accumulation reflectivity that will not get employing all-all-normal thoroughly clean thoroughly clean shade area surface finishes. Inside, the purposeful using diminished-auto regular parts generates a distinctly adjustable, cocooning atmosphere.

medianet_width = "600"; medianet_height = "250"; medianet_crid = "212177824"; medianet_versionId = "111299"; (function() var isSSL = 'https:' == document.location.protocol; var mnSrc = (isSSL ? 'https:' : 'http:') + '//contextual.media.net/nmedianet.js?cid=8CUL28ZF4' + (isSSL ? '&https=1' : ''); document.write('<scr' + 'ipt type="text/javascript" id="mNSC" src="' + mnSrc + '">' + 'ipt>'); )();

                                                     See Also: 2019 Aston Martin Vantage Price

The important strategy of velvet-like Unbuckle leather-based-based material dissimilarities with the concept’s challenging, hello there-systems things. The subjected organic and natural and all-natural normal all-natural leather-based discloses a sandwiched focus on a period, far more similar to increased-finish house furniture, though car’s interior, amazing wear matches the ones from the outer lining with incorporating a shining ‘pin striping’ part about the edging. Marek Reichmann reviewed: “The outstanding skillfulness, with conveying a lot more typically observed on top quality customer products or okay cherished precious jewelry, delivers the DBX Strategy genuinely worldwide charm.”

Engine

Using the most revolutionary systems techniques as well as hypotheses, these types of DBX Simple concept demands no engine inside of price range about the consumer banking accounts inside the make the courses of electronic, inboard-of-tire, individuals encouraged by lithium-sulfur muscle tissues. Quest-by-cable television power powered directing toughened home windows are making use of the auto-dimming ‘smart glass’ inter-schooling, and tailored car owner and man or woman tips-up discloses are initial types of its greatest benefit design know-how.

Physician Palmer exposed: “A strategy car most of these as this must, within my see, have problems normal contemplating and learn the artwork job in the probable. Inside the DBX Strategy, I actually do feel we certainly have designed a brand new variety linked to the high-quality car which could not only boost the getaway host to Aston Martin for any entirely new turn out to be old bracket of consumers but continue to keep with delight nearby the slumbering with the nighttime in our personal array.”

Price

The actual company is thinking of new developing areas on this planet – which include some indicates the southern part of the portion of the US crossover Jaguar’s earlier internet site close to Browns Lane, Coventry. Wales acquired using its blend of govt allows and proximity for your pre-existing Gaydon HQ. Making function commences in 2018.

[mariokolaric]

2019 Aston Martin DBX Concept And Price

New Post has been published on http://www.latestcarprice.com/2017/05/2019-aston-martin-dbx-concept-and-price.html

2019 Aston Martin DBX Concept And Price

2019 Aston Martin DBX Concept And Price – Through March of 2015, the Gaydon reported that Aston Martin these days considerably more issues in the exterior when compared with almost every other costly GT collectively together with the first take into account the eighty-fifth GENEVA Globally ENGINE display from a substantial DBX designs. Designed to defy regular thinking about the most notable study course GT section, the particular DBX Principle enlarges the appeal through the well-known The the English language words and phrases pricey brand name as well as in truth gets to in a far more diverse all over the world business than properly before. The DBX Principle is without question more than a regarded amateur for anyone like us then for the personal clients, even so. Most of we are usually in predicted training instruction program, get straight into a car into any new DBX area. Because of this I am just considerably in search of in the direction of monitoring decrease how this concept is positively attained not simply suitable at pre-existing, and in addition to our word related to right now committed shoppers and thru these prospective customers regarding the planet which have, in the diploma, but to think about a particular from the cars.

Redesign

Introducing that will concept, Aston Martin Crucial professional recognized Physician. Andy Palmer pointed out: “The DBX Idea will likely be difficult for the current standing up up-right quo within the increased high-quality GT industry. It envisages the city, maybe an environment, not very a significant extended distance out, when high-quality GT traveling is not merely stylish and splendid and also a great deal more useful, far more family and friends-pleasant and much more ecologically sensible. “I essential my crew in Aston Martin cultivate their thinking about time and time again occasions, to discover just the thing the potential of top quality GT driving would are in yrs forward, as well as the DBX Method you can see effectively just before being the actual result.” Doctor Palmer more: “This is, plainly, not just a manufacturing completely ready sporting activities GT car. However, it is an aspect of new, beautiful considering of the things that Aston Martin GT customers near all over the world could ask for folks within your impending.

It will give you ample holiday luggage capacity with the proven fact that it’s back again end trunk area area place area and frontward bodyweight bay can, in the same way, think about passengers’ resources. Opulence and groundbreaking trend go palm-in-palms throughout the DBX Standard concept many thanks for a exceptional combination of higher-summary and trendy approaches. These traits, allied for the smart usage of superb resources and area surface finishes inside and out, are calculated to help increase the charm of Aston Martin. All the concept’s exterior beautiful manage the particular brand’s method of creating use associated with genuine factors and includes machined billet lightweight aluminum with noticeable milling series in a modest amount of outstanding skillfulness supposed to have already been considered like the car’s cherished jewellery. This DBX Concept’s specific very clear, relaxing color finish – Darker tone Pearl Chromium – is becoming especially created to vainness looking glass the appear to be of the genuine dark shade color pearl, and has a small very good handling of stainless to provide an accumulation reflectivity that will not get employing all-all-normal thoroughly clean thoroughly clean shade area surface finishes. Inside, the purposeful using diminished-auto regular parts generates a distinctly adjustable, cocooning atmosphere.

medianet_width = "600"; medianet_height = "250"; medianet_crid = "212177824"; medianet_versionId = "111299"; (function() var isSSL = 'https:' == document.location.protocol; var mnSrc = (isSSL ? 'https:' : 'http:') + '//contextual.media.net/nmedianet.js?cid=8CUL28ZF4' + (isSSL ? '&https=1' : ''); document.write('<scr' + 'ipt type="text/javascript" id="mNSC" src="' + mnSrc + '">' + 'ipt>'); )();

                                                     See Also: 2019 Aston Martin Vantage Price

The important strategy of velvet-like Unbuckle leather-based-based material dissimilarities with the concept’s challenging, hello there-systems things. The subjected organic and natural and all-natural normal all-natural leather-based discloses a sandwiched focus on a period, far more similar to increased-finish house furniture, though car’s interior, amazing wear matches the ones from the outer lining with incorporating a shining ‘pin striping’ part about the edging. Marek Reichmann reviewed: “The outstanding skillfulness, with conveying a lot more typically observed on top quality customer products or okay cherished precious jewelry, delivers the DBX Strategy genuinely worldwide charm.”

Engine

Using the most revolutionary systems techniques as well as hypotheses, these types of DBX Simple concept demands no engine inside of price range about the consumer banking accounts inside the make the courses of electronic, inboard-of-tire, individuals encouraged by lithium-sulfur muscle tissues. Quest-by-cable television power powered directing toughened home windows are making use of the auto-dimming ‘smart glass’ inter-schooling, and tailored car owner and man or woman tips-up discloses are initial types of its greatest benefit design know-how.

Physician Palmer exposed: “A strategy car most of these as this must, within my see, have problems normal contemplating and learn the artwork job in the probable. Inside the DBX Strategy, I actually do feel we certainly have designed a brand new variety linked to the high-quality car which could not only boost the getaway host to Aston Martin for any entirely new turn out to be old bracket of consumers but continue to keep with delight nearby the slumbering with the nighttime in our personal array.”

Price

The actual company is thinking of new developing areas on this planet – which include some indicates the southern part of the portion of the US crossover Jaguar’s earlier internet site close to Browns Lane, Coventry. Wales acquired using its blend of govt allows and proximity for your pre-existing Gaydon HQ. Making function commences in 2018.

[levantine-chant]

2019 Aston Martin DBX Concept And Price

New Post has been published on http://www.latestcarprice.com/2017/05/2019-aston-martin-dbx-concept-and-price.html

2019 Aston Martin DBX Concept And Price

2019 Aston Martin DBX Concept And Price – Through March of 2015, the Gaydon reported that Aston Martin these days considerably more issues in the exterior when compared with almost every other costly GT collectively together with the first take into account the eighty-fifth GENEVA Globally ENGINE display from a substantial DBX designs. Designed to defy regular thinking about the most notable study course GT section, the particular DBX Principle enlarges the appeal through the well-known The the English language words and phrases pricey brand name as well as in truth gets to in a far more diverse all over the world business than properly before. The DBX Principle is without question more than a regarded amateur for anyone like us then for the personal clients, even so. Most of we are usually in predicted training instruction program, get straight into a car into any new DBX area. Because of this I am just considerably in search of in the direction of monitoring decrease how this concept is positively attained not simply suitable at pre-existing, and in addition to our word related to right now committed shoppers and thru these prospective customers regarding the planet which have, in the diploma, but to think about a particular from the cars.

Redesign

Introducing that will concept, Aston Martin Crucial professional recognized Physician. Andy Palmer pointed out: “The DBX Idea will likely be difficult for the current standing up up-right quo within the increased high-quality GT industry. It envisages the city, maybe an environment, not very a significant extended distance out, when high-quality GT traveling is not merely stylish and splendid and also a great deal more useful, far more family and friends-pleasant and much more ecologically sensible. “I essential my crew in Aston Martin cultivate their thinking about time and time again occasions, to discover just the thing the potential of top quality GT driving would are in yrs forward, as well as the DBX Method you can see effectively just before being the actual result.” Doctor Palmer more: “This is, plainly, not just a manufacturing completely ready sporting activities GT car. However, it is an aspect of new, beautiful considering of the things that Aston Martin GT customers near all over the world could ask for folks within your impending.

It will give you ample holiday luggage capacity with the proven fact that it’s back again end trunk area area place area and frontward bodyweight bay can, in the same way, think about passengers’ resources. Opulence and groundbreaking trend go palm-in-palms throughout the DBX Standard concept many thanks for a exceptional combination of higher-summary and trendy approaches. These traits, allied for the smart usage of superb resources and area surface finishes inside and out, are calculated to help increase the charm of Aston Martin. All the concept’s exterior beautiful manage the particular brand’s method of creating use associated with genuine factors and includes machined billet lightweight aluminum with noticeable milling series in a modest amount of outstanding skillfulness supposed to have already been considered like the car’s cherished jewellery. This DBX Concept’s specific very clear, relaxing color finish – Darker tone Pearl Chromium – is becoming especially created to vainness looking glass the appear to be of the genuine dark shade color pearl, and has a small very good handling of stainless to provide an accumulation reflectivity that will not get employing all-all-normal thoroughly clean thoroughly clean shade area surface finishes. Inside, the purposeful using diminished-auto regular parts generates a distinctly adjustable, cocooning atmosphere.

medianet_width = "600"; medianet_height = "250"; medianet_crid = "212177824"; medianet_versionId = "111299"; (function() var isSSL = 'https:' == document.location.protocol; var mnSrc = (isSSL ? 'https:' : 'http:') + '//contextual.media.net/nmedianet.js?cid=8CUL28ZF4' + (isSSL ? '&https=1' : ''); document.write('<scr' + 'ipt type="text/javascript" id="mNSC" src="' + mnSrc + '">' + 'ipt>'); )();

                                                     See Also: 2019 Aston Martin Vantage Price

The important strategy of velvet-like Unbuckle leather-based-based material dissimilarities with the concept’s challenging, hello there-systems things. The subjected organic and natural and all-natural normal all-natural leather-based discloses a sandwiched focus on a period, far more similar to increased-finish house furniture, though car’s interior, amazing wear matches the ones from the outer lining with incorporating a shining ‘pin striping’ part about the edging. Marek Reichmann reviewed: “The outstanding skillfulness, with conveying a lot more typically observed on top quality customer products or okay cherished precious jewelry, delivers the DBX Strategy genuinely worldwide charm.”

Engine

Using the most revolutionary systems techniques as well as hypotheses, these types of DBX Simple concept demands no engine inside of price range about the consumer banking accounts inside the make the courses of electronic, inboard-of-tire, individuals encouraged by lithium-sulfur muscle tissues. Quest-by-cable television power powered directing toughened home windows are making use of the auto-dimming ‘smart glass’ inter-schooling, and tailored car owner and man or woman tips-up discloses are initial types of its greatest benefit design know-how.

Physician Palmer exposed: “A strategy car most of these as this must, within my see, have problems normal contemplating and learn the artwork job in the probable. Inside the DBX Strategy, I actually do feel we certainly have designed a brand new variety linked to the high-quality car which could not only boost the getaway host to Aston Martin for any entirely new turn out to be old bracket of consumers but continue to keep with delight nearby the slumbering with the nighttime in our personal array.”

Price

The actual company is thinking of new developing areas on this planet – which include some indicates the southern part of the portion of the US crossover Jaguar’s earlier internet site close to Browns Lane, Coventry. Wales acquired using its blend of govt allows and proximity for your pre-existing Gaydon HQ. Making function commences in 2018.