#but i have to say i love reading Nandor's

[thegeekyartist]

Saw someone do this for another fandom and now I'm curious.

[beansprean]

Idk what happened but I woke up last Monday wanting to draw a 10th kingdom au for no discernible reason and SUDDENLY LIKE 2 OTHER WWDITS FOLK HAD THE SAME IDEA?? Sometimes a hive mind is TOO strong

(ID in alt and under cut)

ID: Sketch dump in red of Nandor and Guillermo as Wolf and Virginia, respectively, from the 2000s NBC miniseries "The 10th Kingdom". 1. Guillermo dressed in his trenchcoat over a zip up hoodie over a dark collared shirt, laying on his back on a narrow box bed with his eyes closed. Nandor, wearing a long coat with a ruffled collar and sleeves over a loose linen top and with his hair half up and tucked behind his ears, is crouched beside him with both arms propped up on the edge of the box, smiling down at him with hooded eyes. Nandor says, "and then a really cool, handsome prince comes by and he says "wow, what a rascal!" Guillermo snorts, tamping down a smile as he tries to continue to look asleep. 2. Close up of Nandor taking Guillermo by the shoulders and bringing him close with a wide, besotted smile. He says, "Guillermo, you make me all hard and soft at the same time!" Guillermo is staring at him, wide-eyed and confused, blushing. 3. Knees-up of Guillermo and Nandor sitting side by side, Guillermo sans trenchcoat and Nandor with his hair down and a visible wolf's tail curled up between them. Guillermo is looking down at the tail with some interest, petting it with one hand. Nandor has both hands clasped in his lap and his shoulders up by his ears, looking away with a silly wobbly smile and flushed cheeks. 4a. Knees up of Nandor striking a princely pose, one hand pressing fingertips to his chest and the other extended upward, palm up, as he shouts with a grin, "Rapunzel, let down your lustrous locks!" 4b. Repeat, a thick wave of shiny dark hair flops down on him from above. 5. Hips up of Nandor from behind as he braces both hands on a wooden post, shoulders hunched. His nails have formed long claws that are gouging into the wood, and the full moon is visible beyond. He looks over his shoulder, hair loose and wild, eyes glowing as his face contorts into something feral and hungry. 6. Full body of Nandor, sans jacket, skipping happily along with his chin and blouse stained with blood, flowers dancing around his head and tail bobbing along behind him. 7. Chest up of Guillermo trapped in a medieval style chair, sans trenchcoat. Nandor is standing behind him, one arm draped along the back of the chair and the other propping him up as he leans, palm out placatingly as he asks with a grin, "Don't you trust me?" Guillermo looks over his shoulder and leans away as much as possible, nervous, baffled, and angry all at once. He spits back, "No!! You tried to eat my grandmother!" At this angle we can see Nandor has a hoop in his right ear. 8. Knees up of Nandor and Guillermo standing side by side, showing off some closer details of their outfits. Nandor is smiling with a fang poking out between his lips, hands twiddling together at his waistline as he peeks over at Guillermo from the corner of his eye. Guillermo glances back at him, wary and flushed, pulling his arm up towards his chest to avoid Nandor's tail, which is wagging hard and thumping against Guillermo's side. Text nearby points to Nandor and says "wolf", and points to Guillermo and says "virgin". 9. Nandor and Guillermo sitting side by side in the back of a wagon, reading self-help books. Nandor aims an excited glance at Guillermo, biting back a silly grin. His book is titled "How To Fall In Love Without Acting Like a Freak About It." Guillermo is hunched over, eyes on his book with a kind of weary and hopeless expression. His book is titled "Become UnGovernable without compromising your morals" /end ID

[contact-guy]

go to sleep!!!

Never read them or knew much about them besides the basics. then eight months ago my spouse was like 'have you ever seen the Guy Ritchie Sherlock Holmes films? feel like you would like them', knowing my propensity for dynamics involving unhealthy devotion (see: frodo and sam; gideon and harrow; guillermo and nandor). At one point during the second film I lay down on the floor. at another point I had to pause it to do several laps of our house. needless to say I haven't been the same since. does my spouse regret this? impossible to say.

1 - loved LOVED drawing the moor in hound of the baskervilles! so moody. so much atmosphere. such a lack of straight lines.

2 - people are pretty great at noticing things but...Holmes is still kind of afraid to touch watson here c:

3 - I was making a list of canon scenes I wanted to draw and realized that like.....nearly every story had something. but I wasn't committed until I found myself drawing a conversation between Watson and Colonel Hayter in the Reigate Squires and was like 'oh no I've gone and given myself a narrative'

[cottoncandysprite]

Guys holy shit ok i just had a fun moment of overanalyzing a background prop. So this is on one of Laszlo's plan posters in Local News:

Transcript: "During my absence I should leave my friends unconscious of the existence of their enemy and unprotected from his attacks, exasperated as he might be by my departure. But he had promised to follow me wherever I might go, and would he not accompany me to England? This imagination was dreadful in itself, but soothing inasmuch as it supposed the safety of my friends. I was agonized with the idea of the possibility that the reverse of this might happen."

It's a quote from Frankenstein (which to be clear I have not read past the first chapter yet, but I have seen summaries and listened to plenty of infodumping about it from @goddamnlethamlet, who also helped me with this theory despite not watching wwdits), from when Victor leaves behind his family and fiancee to go build a monster bride for his creature, specifically him choosing to bring his best friend/boyfriend Clerval (yknow, instead of his fiancee. Just guys being dudes). It's also right before the creature kills both Henry and eventually Victor's fiancee on their wedding night, so that's..... worrying.

With it being associated with Laszlo by being on his plans, as well as him fitting into a scientist role this season, i think its safe to say any foreshadowing would put him in Victor's shoes. And with laszlo as the scientist, Guillermo would be his experiment, the Creature. Obviously Nadja is the fiancee and I believe Sean would fit into the best friend slot. As for Nandor, remember how I said victor planned to make the creature a bride? Well, the reason the creature lashes out and kills everyone is bc victor has a moral crisis over the bride and scraps her.

So I think in the finale, Guillermo lashes out, maybe even goes full monster mode, and somehow hurts (or god forbid kills) Nadja and/or Sean before running off, all bc Laszlo told Guillermo he would smooth things over with Nandor after his turning gets revealed but for some reason Laszlo fails or just straight up lies and doesn't do it.

Another alternate take is that this quote in particular refers to the fact that Laszlo is willingly hiding the dangerous creature (vampire guillermo) from the others as to not concern them, but in doing so is also putting them in danger because they have no warning and no defense prepared against him. Hmm.

Anyway I for one love classic lit parallels and would kill for any of this to be actual foreshadowing bc i spent way too long typing that for me to be wrong

TL;DR If they made that Frankenstein reference on purpose we are FUCKED

[barren-heart]

The Hidden Love Story of What We Do in the Shadows: How The Internet Fell in Love with Harvey Guillen’s Guillermo de la Cruz

I think it’s fair to call this show what it is: a comedy.

The actors have said it’s themselves: the show is 50% improv, 50% script. A lot of what we see is a brilliant collaboration of talent, writing, and the actors saying the funniest thing they can say about something in that moment.

According to Harvey Guillen, some scenes would last 30 minutes each if they didn’t cut it down. That improv is what makes the show what is it: the funniest show on television.

What’s interesting about this little Shit and Fart show (affectionate), is the heart of it all: Guillermo.

Originally the show was looking for an older man to play Nandor’s familiar. The character had worked for his master for 20 years, not 10 as we see in the pilot episode.

Harvey got an audition randomly. At a wine and cheese night of a friend’s, he was invited to audition for the part. It was random, but also, it was fate.

Let me explain.

Harvey Guillen auditioning for the role of Guillermo

(I actually have the full audition tape of Harvey’s if anyone’s interested.) Link below!

Harvey didn’t “fit the part” (Harvey’s words) whatsoever of this character and decided to dress himself to look older, putting on what he calls his Harry Potter glasses and parted his hair down the middle.

The Guillermo we see in the pilot was all Harvey’s idea of what that character should be and the costuming department just ran with it. It’s also fun to point out that to those who don’t know, Harvey created Guillermo’s last name even before he knew he’d play the show’s Vampire Slayer.

I mention this because I don’t think they (showrunner, producers,etc) expected Guillermo to become such a fan favorite. Which kinda explains why his character is the punching bag of season one and why it somewhat changes as seasons go by.

I mean, we don’t even see Guillermo in this season one poster (we don’t see Colin Robinson, either. But I feel like I could write an entirely other post about that character and why I think he’s genuinely the best and most consistently written character on the show. But I won’t right now).

I think they expected Guillermo to be a one-note side kick, which is fine. Many of Harvey’s previous roles were nearly background characters (think Benedict Pickwick in The Magicians).

But, Harvey’s take on the character coupled with his talent at being both comedic and dramatic really shined through. And I think that’s where you start to see that maybe they could do more with him than just being the funny guy in the background.

I also think that’s why you start to see some threading of a more serious plot when it comes to Guillermo’s storyline because of Harvey’s range.

Who would’ve known a funny bit like being a Van Helsing descent in a house full of vampires would get you compelling scenes like the familiar fight The Night Market, Nouveau Théâtre des Vampires, and the Nandor and Guillermo fight in The Portrait?

Harvey mentioned having to train for these and wanted to do his own stunts! And he does them well!

Did they imagine Guillermo being such a badass in the pilot? Probably not. But he is and people took to it. The serious fight scenes (even with bits of comedy filtered in) really stand out in their own as excellent action scenes.

Along with badass scenes, Harvey delivered compelling emotional scenes like Guillermo’s coming out (which Harvey actually cried in as well as other cast and crew, and they had to edit it to not make it too serious), the scene he left Nandor for Celeste, and many scenes in S5’s Exit Interview.

I also think they didn’t anticipate his chemistry with Kayvan Novak. It’s brought up a lot in interviews with them and everyone can tell that they genuinely are really good friends in real life, which makes acting together on screen that much better.

(Funny enough, he was supposed to do a chemistry read with Kayvan before shooting and wasn’t able to meet him until they were on set for the pilot. )

I think in some ways, even though the show wanted it to be a funny Gaston and Lefou type relationship, Kayvan and Harvey had undeniable chemistry you couldn’t deny.

And I think that began to grow with their character’s evolving relationship. From master and servant to friends to sometimes the show and network alluding to them being in a romance (Guillermo’s drunk love confession, Marwa liking what Nandor likes, the Network making videos about shipping Nandermo).

And even Paul Simms (the one who is being grilled for That’s His Boss quote), also said “Guillermo and Nandor is the greatest love story in modern television.”

So yeah, I think originally they started the show with the intention that it was supposed to be similar to the movie that shares its name. The Nandor/Guillermo drama of Shadows the TV show would be so out of place in the movie. The whole Guillermo vampire arc, if it was movie inspired, would not be as dramatic as they have made it in the show.

Looking back to the pilot, I can see that they really tried to make it as close to the source material as possible. But I think it took off in a direction that even the creators didn’t imagine it would go. Just a silly little comedy show about silly little vampires. And don’t get me wrong, it still definitely is.

But the show has evolved. And for better or worse, Nandor and Guillermo’s relationship will be one of the most compelling things about the show and I’m curious where they are going to take it now.

I guess this turned into a bit of an Harvey Guillen appreciation post and honestly, why not? Look at that adorable face.

[cyberstrm]

my pleasure

nandor the relentless x gn!vampire!reader

cws: none!

a/n: i met kayvan novak on saturday at mcm and he was so sweet,,, so,,, nandor brainrot heehee

you weren't really sure what nandor, your husband, spent his waking hours doing. the time of darkness he occupied lasted usually 8-ish hours, and that felt like a lot of time for someone who didn't have a job or any real responsibilities.

despite his presumably empty night, you hadn't seen much of him, and was craving some well deserved attention.

you looked in every room, and eventually concluded he was in the fancy room. you creaked the door open and smiled when you saw him laying on the sofa, reading an ancient looking book. he looked up, and his fangs showed as he grinned.

"hello, my love!" he beamed, closing his book and sitting up.

"heya." you replied, entering the room fully and sitting next to him on the sofa. he took your hands and kissed your palms softly, savouring your presence.

"did you need something, my little dove?" he asked, his expression soft and inquisitive.

"i just missed you, this house is so big, it feels so empty..." as you said this, you went red, realising how childish it sounded.

"aww." he cooed, cupping a hand to your cheek and stroking it gently with his thumb. "what can i do to make you feel less alone?" he posed this less as a question and more of tease.

you looked away, and he chuckled. he enjoyed flustering you.

"say it, little dove."

"can you kiss me?"

he didn't need to be asked twice. he leant forward and kissed you gently, a hand reaching into your hair. you could feel his fangs against your lips, but he wielded them proficiently as to not hurt you by accident.

he pulled away, a slightly dazed expression on his face.

"you are very nice to kiss." he commented, making you giggle. "can i kiss you again?"

[lord-of-the-ducks]

Ok, I'm not sure how to isolate clips from the episode, so bear with me while I verbally describe what I'm talking about, but I was rewatching s5e8 for the third time and noticed Yet Another thing that is making me go feral

So we have the scene directly after Guillermo accidentally sets the Baron on fire again, we cut back to Nadja, Nandor, Colin, and Dolly all on the couch. My brain is already broken from Nandor clinging on to that damn sweater, but that's not what I'm talking about.

Nadja is talking about the Baron hunting down Guillermo, and she very specifically avoids saying the word dead, before Colin spoils this by finishing her sentence for her.

And what I didn't notice until now was that Dolly immediately whispers at Colin to shut up, because Nandor is sitting right next to them craddling his sweater and insisting that Guillermo will be fine.

And yeah it's a really small thing, probably not worth making an entire post about it, but god, they all care about each other so much, and even though Colin can't seem to read the room, Nadja and Dolly know how upsetting this is for Nandor. I actually don't know if Dolly has really gotten the opportunity to show her affection for other members of the household besides maybe the beginning of s3e7 where she's reflecting on her time with the vampires before she runs away. But that was a specific montage, I don't think she's had a lot of small moments where she demonstrates that she also cares about her housemates

I dunno, I just didn't see anyone talking about this, which is fair because there was a LOT of stuff in this episode to digest, but I just fucking love these tiny little things that get peppered in

[stephpotterart]

I had a thought about Nandor and the perceived himbo dumbass nature of him, and now I'm thinking and I have to write it out.. It's kind of stream-of-consciousness, so please bear with me 😅

Yes, I love the occasional dumb-as-a-post nature of him, it makes him a big, less than scary (you know, to a point) teddy bat of a Vampire. But... it's also not accurate for his history?

Like, absolutely you can be highly educated and still dumb-as-a-post, but I don't think that's what's going on with Nandor.

Let's just... look at his overall behaviour for a moment. Nandor gets into periodic, strong, obsessions that come on like a wildfire, then burn out. We can see the evidence of this with his sudden desire to join Jan's cult with extremely little evidence and knowledge of what he's getting himself into. Yes, the brainwashing came once he was there, but it was mild, fairly transparent, manipulation that got him thinking about it. He latched onto it and pinned his entire persona and future upon the cult at the drop of a pin. There's also the same behaviours circling with his relationship with Gail. When he is with Gail, she is everything, and nothing else matters much - not how his friends feel, not how much Gail has continually hurt him in the past, his focus is purely on her and almost worshipping her.

There's nothing necessarily wrong with this behaviour, other than the fact that it has continually caused Nandor to break his own heart.

I'd argue that these examples, and other behaviours shown by him throughout the current five seasons, point to a prevalence for hyperfixations, and undiagnosed neurodivergence of some form. Which form that neurodivergence takes, well that's up to interpretation. Which, means that once a hyperfixation ends or is ended for him, that interest just dies off. It can come back, but it's not the all-consuming interest that it had been.

So with this in mind, lets look at his human history, with the neurodivergence in mind, for context about his intelligence and his education.

Nandor was born in the 13th century, in an Islamic nation, and likely to a family of renown or nobility. If he was not, then he himself earned that ranking, renown, and nobility for his family. But, lets just say that he was already born into a family of some privilege.

Whether it's through his family's ranking, or his show of military prowess, Nandor ends up ruling his country... at the age of seventeen. This is not placement for a man of little-to-no education. Whether it was from a very young age, or not, Nandor would have been surrounded by tutors from the reaches of both his Kingdom and the rest of the world, in order to best prepare him for what his life would be. Whether it was from a tender age, or once he was already designated as future Supreme Viceroy, Nandor would have been in classes whenever he was not training on the field of battle.

Nandor would have been educated in multiple languages, beyond his own native Farsi. He would have been taught Latin, and Greek for certain. He would have been educated and well read in the Classics, in order to learn statecraft and political strategizing. He would have been incredibly well-read (I would argue that much of the library in the Vampire Residence, other than the outright pornography which is likely thanks to Laszlo, is Nandor's centuries long collection), and able to analyze those works in order to show comprehension of what does and does not work as a ruler. And he must have been successful, as he clearly ruled from the age of 17 until at least his turning at the age of 41. Even without years as a Vampiric Viceroy (debatable if he was ruling as a Vampire, or if he joined the Ottoman forces once he was Vampire and had been exiled from his homeland), that's 24 successful years on his throne.

Back to the languages for a moment; even though the show canonically ignores that Nandor was born during the Mongol rule of Persia, he would have likely been taught Mongolian as well. Along with the exposure to Mongol culture, and the opening of Mongolian empire, comes tutors from further lands. Nandor would have likely been taught Medieval French, Italian, and it's not out of the question to suppose that he was also taught Middle English. It is the knowledge of Middle English which may explain his troubles with modern English. Not because much of Middle English was retained by Modern English, but... imagine you already learned a language, and now you're expected to learn it again just because the people decided in the late 1400s that they were changing the way they speak in that place. That would personally make me give up on learning it perfectly, which I rather suspect Nandor, who would be highly capable of multiple languages at that point, did as well. He can speak just fine, he just didn't care to put the level of effort into the acquisition of those skills the same way as he had previously. If he drops words here and there, it doesn't matter - you can still understand him just fine, and well, that's how it works in all these other languages!

Nandor would have been educated in more than just languages and the Classics. He would have been taught world history (as it was known at that point), he would have been taught arithmetic, astronomy, and other 'sciences' as they existed at that time.

There is no reason that Nandor's education would have slipped through the cracks. it simply would not have been allowed, especially not for the Supreme Viceroy.

So, Nandor is a highly educated man, who happens to be neurodivergent as all get out. He must have had his interests. His hyperfixations. Hell, it's right in his epithet: The Relentless.

Let's pause for a moment and look to Laszlo Cravensworth as our main point of comparison with knowledge of 'the sciences'.

Laszlo is from the 17th century at earliest, and 18th century most likely. He was a noble of some standing, hence why it was unthinkable that he marry a "common, peasant, girl with no family name". He, too, would have been highly educated to the standards of his time. All of that said, it's rather clear that Laszlo's general knowledge of the sciences does not exceed passed the mid-19th century (arguments can be made that it peters out around the 1930s if we factor in psychology and include the advancement of cinema from the 1890s on).

This means that Laszlo didn't keep up with the advancements in the sciences after a certain point, right around the time it was advancing faster and faster, and the ability to keep up became more and more difficult, given the inability to attend classes during daylight hours, etc. Let's also not forget that Laszlo dabbles in the sciences, viewing his knowledge as more of a novelty than anything necessary. He absolutely knows how to use his knowledge, but it's all good fun!

Nandor wouldn't have had the luxury to view his education as a novelty or as fun. It was essential to his title, his rank, and his continued rule.

Leap of faith here, but I'm going to assume that for a good deal of time, Nandor continued to view his education in this way. Especially with an eternity in front of him, he'd have to keep up with the times and keep learning, as best to blend in, and as best to rule should he ever rise up and crush the world under his boot once more.

I suspect that he only started to loose interest in keeping up sometime around the mid-18th century. Perhaps even as Laszlo was coming onto the scene. Not because of Laszlo, but because he was already settled more into his existence. He didn't really expect to rule again, even if he still boasts and brags, it doesn't appear to be in Nandor's nature now to even want that level of responsibility, not really, if he ever did. He likely had it thrust upon him and was just expected to continue.

If he simply burned out, it would be completely understandable that he'd no longer keep up-to-date with how knowledge changes and things advance. But, maybe something happened that made him want to abandon all that work and effort to keep his education as finely tuned as it had been?

It was mentioned that a joke was cut from Season 1 that Nandor had been in a threesome/throuple with both George Washington and Benjamin Franklin. We're not positive of the years, but we can assume it was at least during the Revolution, and a bit after (he does canonically mention Washington as America's First Gay President).

But, lets go out on a limb and assume he was with them, or at least Benjamin Franklin, earlier than that. Maybe he was around during Franklin's experiments with electricity.

Maybe Nandor was present for Benjamin's kite experiment in 1752.

Nandor, at this point, would have had at least 470 years of knowledge regarding the natural world, history, languages, sciences, and religion. Introduce the power of electricity and the behaviour of lightning, and now he has dots connecting in his mind, he has context for some of the things he did not understand when he was learning originally. His interest is piqued, his mind engaged, and now he's finding another hyperfixation.

And he has questions.

Perhaps Nandor starts asking multitudes of questions, excited by eletricity, electrical fire, and all the historical and religious (as much as he can voice without saying certain words that make his tongue burn just as painfully as 'sky fire') implications of this discovery.

He askes so many questions, and no one can answer them because the research doesn't exist yet. His excitement and curiosity, without the ability to learn why annoys him and makes his obsession a flaw to those around him. They think him obtuse - he can't think of anything else, and when he's frustrated he breaks things. He doesn't mean to, but between his Vampiric strength, large hands, and a temper... sometimes small instruments break. Eventually this becomes detrimental, and not as sweet or naive as his interests were once viewed. Benjamin starts to see Nandor as the volatile Warlord from history, and not as the innocent and curious man he had met originally. He starts to see his curiosities as burdensome and annoying.

Without meaning to, Nandor's curiosity and hyperfixation has caused everyone around him to withdraw, as they look at him with derision.

Annoyed, the people around him start to tell him to find something new to pass his time with. Viewing him now as more volatile and violent than they had, they start making comments about him being better at fighting and warfare than with books. He's obviously the Brawn and not the Brain.

It hurts Nandor. His interests are disregarded, his questions met with disdain. He's treated as a hapless child and not the well educated and knowledgeable man that he is.

He's seen as only the beast with too many questions for his own good, for his mind to contend with.

He's seen as uneducated, without ever thinking of his human history and how that is simply not possible. He's seen as better for the battlefield than for the classroom, no matter that he is now more at home in a library than he is with a sword in his hand.

He's accused of simply having "random, fleeting, interests", that won't last long enough for him to actually learn anything that he'll retain. It's easier to insult him than admit his questions were worth asking, but that they have no answers for him. It's easier to turn him away than admit to him that they too don't know. Easier to blame him for a crime he hasn't even committed, than ask if he'd like to help or lend a thought given his years of experience.

So, relegated to the only the soldier and not the diplomat, or the scholar, Nandor stops asking questions. He stops allowing himself his interests and his hyperfixations, at least when it comes to furthering his education, so that does not upset those around him.

He stops furthering his education, beyond what he manages to glean and absorb from his daily life as an immortal being. He makes himself smaller because he's been told he's not smart enough to be asking those sort of questions. He's been told he's too much, even in that aspect of his life, as he's been told time and time again by the people around him that don't view him as anything other than a luxury to be used and abused, and ultimately abandoned when he no longer serves their purposes.

Even if Nandor abandoned all further learning, beyond what he acquires organically and accidentally, in approximately 1760, that's still a scholarly history of nearly 500 years.

Nandor is not stupid. He's not dumb. His reference materially is simply out of date, or in out of date languages. He hasn't been given a reason to want to continue his education after 500 years of learning.

I bet if you asked him any medieval knowledge question about, say, botany… he'd have an answer that is accurate. It might take him a few minutes because 762 years of knowledge and memories in that neurodivergent filing cabinet of a mind (that's how i refer to my own brain), but he has the answer.

Nandor is not stupid, or uneducated. He's not simply the Brawn without the Brain. He's just out-of-date, and neurodivergent. He might be dumb-as-a-post when it comes to social cues and modern slang, but it has nothing to do with his intelligence or his extensive education. He just needs someone to listen and care enough to nurture his curiosities, rather than dismiss them.

He just needs the right questions to be asked, he has the answers.

Just... don't give him very valuable and breakable instruments if you're not able or willing to replace them when he accidentally damages them.

Sorry for that wholeass essay, I just... I have feels for Nandor's depiction.

[lottieslesbiancurtains]

how the staten island pod would use social media!

- nadja

always in arguments on twitter w gross me . ALWAYS (never w the girlies. shes a girls girl)

pinterest boards GALORE.

has a pinterest board for every occasion

so she has amassed a bunch of followers and it’s lowkey quite proud (will never out right say it tho bc she used to think social media was stupid)

tbh i don’t see her having a tiktok, insta etc. she doesn’t use social media to post herself, just argue with men and make pretty boards! (real af)

- laszlo

discovered that twitter has porn and never looked back 😭 (no one tell him about reddit.)

tiktok brainrot (especially if it’s around the time of baby colin)

chik fil a girl was on his mind for WEEKS. always doing the face whenever someone said something dumb af

found out what onika burgers was and infuriated nadja w it (she knew what it was a year before tiktok found out)

IS ON TAVERN TIKTOK. loves the trisha paytas ‘hello traveler’ videos.

asmr lover.

- nandor

religiously only uses facebook bc he doesn’t understand anything else.

“what is tik-tok? like a clock guillermo?”

BUTTT he did find out what ao3 was and now reads fanfic.

he doesn’t know it but he only reads marauders fanfic but think ‘marauders’ is a fanfic type or smth

- guillermo

he stalks everyones social media to see if anyone says anything about him

all he found was nadjas tweets about how annoyed she was with him for not cleaning properly

watches mukbangs on youtube while he eats

used to have a youtube account with a couple thousand subscribers (b4 he was a familiar) when he’d play video games with his friends

loves tiktok and tries to explain things to nandor

nandor will not budge and says facebook is better

[nandorelentlessdelacruz]

What Nandor needs is someone to teach him to prioritize identifying what he's feeling, as opposed to what he's thinking. He fails to communicate because his mind is such a mess. Thoughts are dangerous if there is no active awareness of the emotion, they can lead you to mistake.

Nandor was in panic "Where is Guillermo? Has he arrived yet?" because he expected to be rescued. Guillermo is not only his friend, he's also the bridge that connects him with humanity today. "This is all Guillermo's fault".

At some point, this crossed Nandor's mind: "He left me, but I can do this without him (again?)" referring to the end of S3, nothing more than a self-comfort thought, because let's face it: Nandor couldn't even pick out a suitable bag without Laszlo.

If Nandor had been conscious of his own feelings when Guillermo arrived, he might have said something like:

I needed you and you weren't here;

I felt abandoned all over again;

I was scare and I missed you being here to tell me what to do;

I feel in the dark. You don't tell me anything lately, left the house without letting me know and I didn't know how to find you;

I feel worthless. You've exclude me lately and I'm not sure if I can still count on you.

All these things would have informed Guillermo and given him the opportunity to do better. Guillermo was late, but he was there! Nandor, on the contrary, decided to say things he thinks.

It's a euphemism for "I don't need you. I don't want you". A counterproductive and false message to say the least. A manipulative tactic with intent to hurt Guillermo because he wanted him to suffer, to beg to stay, so that Nandor would feel better, valued again. Insted of being honest, Nandor punish Guillermo and still expects Guillermo to fight for him. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Guillermo is tired, he doesn't read minds. He will tire of making sacrifices and merely being tolerated by the vampires.

I love how my witch-skin-asshole-hat kind of joke TV show makes me laugh for 20 minutes, then later reflecting several days about it. We can learn a lot from Nandor's childishness; As kids we're often told to "shut up and swallow our tears" instead be taught to identify and deal with our feelings.

We need therapy too, many of us is Nandor in a smaller scale.

[deliciousnecks]

i have read a few posts regarding this, about guillermo finally putting his foot down and not helping the vampires, about nandor telling him that they don't really need him, and all have valid points, but this whole thing is about guillermo opening his eyes to what he's going to leave behind now that he's a vampire(?), he says it at the end. it's about how these vampires can actually solve a problem without him, regardless of how stupid they are, because at the end of the day, it's a problem that can be solved one way or the other, unlike losing those that you love, something that at the end is inevitable.

all this time he had been talking about protecting the vampires from being found out, because he believes that's their main concern, but this episode let us know that that is not actually the case. It's a concern of theirs, yes, but not one at the top of their list. Just like guillermo has to leave his family now, they were forced to leave theirs and everyone they loved at some point, and now he can understand this and in the process, also understand them and see these vampires in a different light. they lost their loved ones, their family, even their homes. and this is another one, they were scared because they were going to lose the place they called home, not so much because they were going to be found out as vampires. they wanted to protect the place that for centuries has been their safe place, where they built this broken family. just like guillermo is losing his family, they could have lost theirs that night too.

and i know, some people say that the vampires were just being dramatic and all that, but i think this fear and their panic was very valid. i'm sure that all those times that they were kicked out from whatever place they decided to make their home was a bit of a traumatic experience.

i don't know if i'm making sense. i'm mostly rambling tbh.

[beansprean]

"...and whenever I use my new big dick, I will think of you and all you've done for me."

I just think a physical manifestation of Guillermo negging Nandor every time he touches his dick would have been sooooo funny. (I drew this right after ep 3 aired and the fact that it's canon Nandor has been basically avoiding Marwa ever since is...certainly something lmao)

(Click for quality! ID in alt and under cut)

[ID: 1a. Dark interior of a coffin. Close up Nandor's face laying over Marwa, her knees pulled up around his waist, grinning smugly into her shoulder. We can only see the back of Marwa's perfect head. He says, "What do you think, my sweet Marwa? Isn't it magnificent?" 1b. Reverse shot over Nandor's shoulder. Nandor pulls back to look at his wife and his eyes bug out of his head to see a naked Guillermo laying there instead, in the same position Marwa was in, smirking cooly up at him. Guillermo responds "Yep. You're welcome for that, by the way."

2. The scene brightens with candlelight as Nandor suddenly launches himself backwards out of the coffin and plasters himself to the ceiling, eyes the size of dinner plates and surrounded by question marks. Birds-eye view over his shoulder at Marwa, laying naked in the coffin as she has been the entire time. She sits up and reaches out to him in concern, saying "Nandor? Husband? Are you alright?"

3. Nandor, nude but for a blanket around his waist, launches himself down the stairs into his secret room at vampiric speed. He shouts, "Djinn! What have you done!!" Standing in the foreground, his back to Nandor, the djinn smirks to himself as he reads a book titled "1001 Nights of Passion".

4a. A different night. Nandor stands alone somewhere in the house, taking a moment to adjust himself in his pants - perhaps he does need new clothes for his new penis. 4b. Nandor jumps in shock as a vision of Guillermo suddenly appears at his shoulder with a mean smile, saying, "Remember when I saved your old penis from witches?" Nandor instinctively wraps his cape around himself as he exclaims "Fuck! Ing! Guy!"

5a. A different night. Shot from behind of Nandor peeking nervously around the corner toward the main entry of the house, where Marwa, wearing a green peasant dress from Target, is passing by calling out "Nandor, my love, where are you?" with a worried expression.

5b. Now that she has passed by, Nandor turns around to face the viewer and leans back against the wall with a sigh of relief. 5c. Repeat of 5b; Nandor opens his eyes and glances suspiciously to the side as his hand creeps beneath his tunic and into his trousers.

5d. Close up of Nandor in profile, looking nervous or maybe anticipatory, looking down towards his crotch offscreen. His lips are pursed cautiously as he undoes his pants with an audible zip. 5e. Repeat of 5d; a vision of Guillermo appears in the foreground, peering judgmentally over Nandor's shoulder toward his occupied penis. He says, "Don't mess up your pants - I dry clean them for you every week, you know." Nandor's expression crumples into an anxious pout, whining as he realizes the djinns consequences have prevailed. /end ID]

[mulderscully]

been seeing a lot of people say nadja is "mean" and like to each their own but that is kind of the opposite of how i read her character?

yes, she is rude and harsh and loud etc but something i really love about nadja is how her backstory of being unloved and bullied etc really shines through in moments where someone is really struggling.

she makes fun of nandor and gives him shit all the time, but when gail shows up she's SO protective of him and when nandor is depressed and says he's going to take a super slumber she is distraught about it! she cried and wrote him a letter.

she doesn't show affection toward guillermo, but she admits to HAVE it when they're discussing killing him because he is a slayer.

when they find out colin robinson is dying her entire demeanor changes, she gets soft and tender and she cuddles with him as he dies. she loves that boring man.

and ofc with laszlo she supports him when he "wins his case" and she's so happy when he gets home from his jackie daytona ordeal and runs into his arms.

she immediately accepts baby colin as her son, she cuddles with the racoons, she realizes she hasn't been paying enough attention to dolly nadja and actively changes her behavior as we see by their little matching outfits this season.

nadja is a very tender hearted person, but she has had to fight to survive and has learned to fend for herself. but i do not think she is this mean mega asshole people seem to think she is?

[cookinguptales]

I was reading your latest meta and it got me thinking, mostly the part about how Guillermo's trigger is being undervalued and I agree but also I think he takes Nandor's shit because he knows Nandor actually values him. Like in seasons 1 and 2 there are times when he thinks about killing him, but all starts to change when Nandor saves him from Topher and then Guillermo's like now I know my master cares for me. I think Nandor was very loving by vampire standards from the start, he's just a little better at showing it now, but the big change is not his behaviour, it's that Guillermo is aware that Nandor cares. The bit in 5x01 about the cute montage or even his smile at the cinema proves it. Like we're supposed to think haha he's delusional how funny, but he's not actually, he knows Nandor loves him even when he laughs at him or is being rude. And while Guillermo has gotten more and more secure in the knowledge of how Nandor truly feels, Nandor doesn't have that... at all. If anything each season gives him more reasons to fear abandonmet, there was always the risk of Guillermo leaving and now there's this new fear of him staying and still not being there for him emotionally. The turning is just the icing on the cake. I think to fix things and to make it work between them eventually Guillermo will need to prove to Nandor that he lives him for him and that he doesn't want to leave him ever. I'm not saying marrying Guillermo will fix Nandor, but I'm not not saying it lol

*looks at her entire body of work on ao3* yes, these are subjects I also think about a lot. lmao

No, you're right, these are things I really love about the show. Like I was saying in that meta post, you really do have to look at Nandor's actions through the lens of vampiric norms. Nandor absolutely does not treat Guillermo well by human standards, but by vampire standards... he's downright eccentric, how into his familiar he is. That comes up a lot, actually. Other vampires are weirded out by how devoted Nandor is to Guillermo.

I mean, just look at how we've seen other vampires treat their familiars, including even other vampires in the same house. They're completely disposable. They have them fight like pokemon. They put them down when they get a hangnail. They keep them in dog cages. They've completely dehumanized familiars because they are glorified food.

Like... maybe even worse than food? Like maybe tainted food. Vampires regularly fall for (and turn) humans, but there's such a distaste for familiars. At least other humans are free, y'know? They don't debase themselves the way familiars do. I think that's what disgusts the vampires far more than familiars' intrinsic humanity. It's the servility. The willingness to sacrifice their own. (Vampire shall not kill vampire, etc.) The fact that they take orders, something that most vampires clearly chafe against.

(Side note: it's so interesting that Guillermo, who clearly wants to be a vampire so he is no longer constrained by social norms, has willingly taken on a role that's even more constrained and submissive for years. That's a whole meta post in and of itself, though.)

But despite the blatant disrespect that vampires have for familiars, the open manipulation they use to keep them in line, the total dehumanization they engage in... Nandor doesn't. He protects his familiar. He plays one-on-one games with his familiar. He confides in his familiar. He does what his familiar says, partially to make him happy and partially because he is willing to acknowledge that his familiar is often right. These are all totally foreign behaviors to most other vampires.

Guillermo does come off as delusional at the beginning of the series, but we quickly realize that he's not wrong. Nandor was willing to sacrifice his life (and the lives of the other vampires) to save Guillermo at the Council. He did apologize to Guillermo and try to make it up to him after letting him down at the club. He did save Guillermo from Topher, even if he wasn't emotionally capable of admitting why. Guillermo was right.

Guillermo, we come to realize, actually knows these vampires better than literally anyone. And that's part of why he's been rewarded with a very strange relationship, for a familiar. It's also why he can see through Nandor's surface shittiness to what lies beneath. (Which is occasionally more shittiness, but is often something much softer.) You're right, his smile at the movies really did speak volumes. He knew why he was there, even if Nandor was being a crab at him.

The only thing he doesn't seem to get about Nandor is how easily he can hurt him. I think he's finally, finally starting to understand how much power Nandor has given him. Like... I remember when Nandor went off to join the cult and Guillermo was like "I guess now I know how it feels." He genuinely had not considered up until that moment how badly it had hurt Nandor when he'd left him. He hadn't considered that he had that power over him.

But I think Guillermo gets it now more fully than he ever has in the past, and I think he'll only get it even more by the end of this season. He knows that Nandor has abandonment issues, but he's never seen the way those issues are attached to him specifically. Nandor always plays it off like he didn't miss Guillermo when he was gone, and Guillermo used to believe him. But he's finally seeing how fucking weird Nandor gets when he's worried about Guillermo leaving him. He started to see it in s4, with the wedding stuff, but he's really seeing it now.

Nandor is upset. He's upset purely and only because he thinks Guillermo doesn't want to be with him anymore. And Guillermo really can't ignore that anymore -- and isn't, for that matter. It's really killing him, I think, to finally realize just how much he means to Nandor right after doing something that will damage their relationship, perhaps irreparably. He's finally putting all the pieces together and realizing that even he didn't see how much he means to Nandor.

Nadja and Laszlo, however, know just how fucking weird Nandor's behavior towards Guillermo is and always has been. They know exactly what Guillermo means to him, though they're a little fuzzier on why. (Though thankfully, they are also starting to see the light.) So they understood immediately what the consequences of all this would be.

I do think that Nandor mostly just needs irrefutable proof that Guillermo wants to be with him. He has been damaged by all the times that people have left him in the past, and he's been even more damaged by all the times Guillermo has left him in the past. I do think a large part of why he won't turn Guillermo is because he's afraid that he'll leave once he no longer needs anything from him. I do think that's why he has such weird, unhinged, possessive behavior towards Guillermo's attention. I do think that's why he concocted an entire fucking wedding.

I don't know that marrying Guillermo would completely assuage his fears, especially considering the way that all of Nandor's past marriages have ended, but it sure wouldn't hurt. lmao. I think Nandor probably wants to be the wife this time, too.

I think he just needs something real and tangible that will make him believe fully that Guillermo will never, ever leave him. And hell, who knows? Maybe that'll be Guillermo being turned, knowing that Nandor might kill him for it, and still sticking around.

[ineffably-human]

I can't get too mad about the Marwa thing. I can understand why it freaks people out, I understand the implications it could have and why instead of being something darkly absurdist, that hits some buttons for people they can't ignore. I can see where it failed, though frankly I haven't seen a single suggestion of an alternative that actually satisfies what this storyline is meant to do. And this storyline is very much meant to do something.

Maybe I was already ready to come out swinging about this because people have just flat out made things up about this character and this situation the whole season. I chew a little more drywall every time I hear a new statement that just never actually happened.

This has gotten very VERY long, please have a cut.

Let's look at pre-the Wedding Wish first:

Nandor did not 'slowly chip away' at Marwa's personality, he made one wish that altered it after she very barely had one to start with.

If this show is good at anything, it's giving us a very strong sense of who a character is over very little time. We can map out a history of Jan just from the photos on her wall. We get a sense of Shanice from her reading of a bottle of medicine and one small monologue about her Mosquito Collector motives. Gail, Meg, Charmaine, The Contessa, Coco, Nandor's wife answering questions by the gazebo with the name I forget, most of these female characters have fewer appearances than Marwa and varying degrees of plot importance but we have at least a half-decent sense of who they are.

But Marwa was the last wife standing after Nandor ruled out everything even slightly objectionable about the others because of how self-destructively insecure and selfish he is. She is never portrayed like a complete person with an inner life to begin with, all the better for him to project this obsession with a perfect past love that almost certainly didn't exist. (Or at least not how Nandor remembers them.) From a Doylist perspective, she could never have shown off more than a hint of who she was/used to be, by design.

The first thing we learn about Marwa is not her scientific space discoveries. The first thing we learn is that while she is first saying her name, Nandor cuts her off and she lets him do it without even blinking. She recites the one fact about her life like she's saying a bio in a playbill. She says she's grateful she found such an intelligent man, for some reason, so she doesn't really understand who she's marrying even if they've been together before. I've heard people observe in later episodes she stands like a Sim - but to me she seemed very flat and robotic in her first appearance.

You guys, learning about this plot I was ready for a person with a personality, I was ready for either wacky poly shenanigans or a whole-ass emotional affair, believe me. Do you know how many songs from Aida I had queued up? And I remember wondering why Marwa didn't feel 'real' to me, not even over-the-top real the way the vampires do. The people saying she was there to be an obstacle to Nandor and Guillermo baffle me, because the moment we meet her, the one thing that's clear to us is Nandor didn't find his great past love. He found a random person. One who is just off the radar enough that she was the last one left. The Baron flat-out refers to her as "the beautiful and charming what's-her-name."

Until the girls' night (which is post-wish), Marwa never exists outside the room Nandor is in. After her brief introduction, she never says anything in that first half of the season that's not about Nandor. There is almost zero difference between that and Go Flip Yourself's litany of "I agree with my husband." Meanwhile Nandor is constantly snapping at her, ignoring her existence, leaving her behind. So she's either a terrible judge of character or will allow fucking anything from this man from the start.

Why yes that is horrible! Pack your bags and escape, etc! But it's not a full, vibrant character who Nandor later whittles down to nothing. Nandor whittled the wives down to Marwa. Because this plot is about his inability to think about other people or have the maturity to be in a true relationship.

The wedding wish, the only one that explicitly makes a long-term change to Marwa's mind, Nandor makes because she voices the first preferences/desires we've heard from her the whole time. At the very least this is new behavior. But Nandor's trying to micromanage flower arrangements on a week of no sleep, not tame a willful person into a submissive doll.

He's a self-obsessed moron so his takeaway when she finally voices her doubts at the wedding is something like "oh shit, she didn't even really want to be with me" - but he's a coward and hey now she does! She even said so! At this big huge wedding he invited everyone to, and that no one believes in! So he doubles down. He has been convincing himself he's in love this whole time, now he's convincing himself it's going awesome with this person he feels basically stuck with.

---

Now, as far as post-Wedding Wish is concerned:

"Like all the same things I like," going by the exact phrasing, doesn't have to get rid of what she likes that Nandor is neutral on. It doesn't have to change anything else about her personality or behavior. It doesn't even mean she has to want all the same things he wants, it certainly doesn't mean she has to do the things he does or to robotically repeat that she agrees with him. I was ready for Marwa to take up sword fighting and bossing Guillermo around and teach Nandor how completely fucking insufferable he can be sometimes, but that isn't what happened either. She feels half there because she was always half there.

Yeah, there's a consent issue, and I feel like the show goes out of its way to show there's nothing sexual going on. The one time they talk about having sex, the Dick Wish screws it up. Nandor walks away in disgust from some very half-hearted dancing about their wedding night. Marwa sleeps in a separate bunk bed in the attic. Between the choice of a bedroom for the two of them and a place where he can be away from her completely (and get fucked by guys and watch Guillermo use the bathroom), Nandor chooses the man cave.

We have two episodes with Marwa after the wish and before 'Freddie'. Ironically, they are the most personality and agency she has had the entire time, they are the events people most often cite about how we "got to know her". (What exactly did we get to know?) And she doesn't seem to hate Nandor even secretly, they just are extremely awkward and bored together. She seems genuinely hopeful that Nandor likes the man cave but since she likes privacy just as much now, and she's not liking a marriage he isn't liking, she tricks him and makes it into her own space.

And the specific Freddie wish is that he wants to turn her into "an exact copy" of Freddie in terms of "looks, personality, everything." Freddie then proceeds to introduce himself to Nandor as if he never met him, and treats Guillermo as if he's a stranger. We could speculate Marwa is in there screaming to get out, sure, but...why would we? We are in a Ship of Theseus situation, where every part of her was replaced. There is no reason that she'd still be there. And there wasn't much of her there to start with.

The 'real' Marwa lived hundreds of years ago, we have no idea what she wanted or how she felt about her life, we have no idea how long her life went on before she died. (Or if she's even dead! She could be one of those vampires in Nandor's village at this point!) But she had her life. It already happened. Anything that happened from the moment Nandor resurrected her (which is already kind of a horrifying act, it just wasn't played as one) was already, as AV Club brilliantly put it, an extension of his own selfish desires.

I could say the djinn's version of Marwa was sort of a doll reduced to her most basic traits. I could say as someone resurrected to be nothing more than the object of 'someone's wife', she was freaking delighted to have Nandor's preferences filling up an empty space for her to use as she liked. I could say she's a fake wife the djinn invented as a decoy. Or that she stops existing whenever she leaves the room. Or that the wish just basically re-deaded her and she'd have been fine with that.

Any of those things would have just as much evidence as what people are speculating instead.

--- I get why you can fill in the worst possible thing in the blanks. There's so much to fill in about exactly who Marwa was, exactly what got changed about her, and whether any aspect of her is left. I think they may have left so much ambiguous to make it less uncomfortable, and instead left everyone thinking about the worst possible version of events.

There also aren't a lot of female characters on this show, and no regular female characters of color, and that is absolutely a deficit the show needs to make up for. Because I truly believe they write great female characters when they're actually trying to write them. Having those other examples would have made a plot like this so much less uncomfortable to watch. But Marwa could have never been that representation, because of what this plot is meant to be about. This plot isn't about Nandermo, or even about Nandor's search for romance at all. This is about all of Nandor's worst tendencies, how he's his own worst enemy.

Because this is probably what Nandor has done his entire life. As a human being Nandor was more of a monster than he is as a literal monster. Like I keep saying, he pillaged, he violently took what he wanted and left the rest to burn. We're told in this last episode that he disemboweled tons of civilians for a tapestry. (A tapestry that, in a cut line from the leaked audition script, he didn't even really like much. If that isn't a metaphor for his shiny object syndrome...)

Even if every single marriage he had was someone in love with him who wanted to be with him, he probably did some version of this: was drawn in very suddenly by the parts he liked (or invented in his head), had a very selfish, empty version of a love affair, got annoyed when things were inconvenient or difficult, and then moved on to the next shiny object.

Freddie is Wife 38 with extra steps, compounded by the djinn lamp being a magic pleasure machine - the exact worst thing to give to a warlord used to taking what he wants (and then being praised for it by everyone around him). His feelings about both Marwa and Freddie are very shallow, and also very real to Nandor in the moment and take up a lot of emotional energy. The 'love' for Freddie would have faded and left him feeling just as hollow.

We just saw the vicious cycle of his life in fast motion, in a way that ends in disaster for everyone involved. (Do you think we'd have gotten Guillermo's horrified 'what the hell is wrong with you' if we weren't supposed to be thinking that right there with him?) The difference here is that we see Nandor made a change. He understands something about love, he thinks outside himself. He does what he believes would make Marwa, 'his' Freddie, and Guillermo happiest. This season is about change.

(I want to point out, also: there's no reason Nandor getting physically beaten up would teach him anything. As a warrior, if anything he'd double down. Guillermo's genuine pain and heartbreak in the midst of what he's done is the only thing that would have gotten through to him. And it did. The hard zoom in on "what I did was...wrong" is because we almost never see him admit those things or apologize in the first place, it's meant to both say 'no shit' and emphasize that this is pretty huge for him.)

Again, I'm not saying this is okay. None of this is okay. It's not supposed to be. It's played for absurdity but it isn't played as meaningless, when the show has been playing much more horrible things for laughs for years.

I'm just saying that a lot of what people are bothered by doesn't really support the facts. It takes everything to its worst conclusion and then acts like that's both supposed to be our takeaway, and we're supposed to find it just great. Of course we aren't. If we were, Nandor would have packed Marwa's bags and made a Freddie clone. He and Guillermo would have gotten into a competition about who could date Freddie the best that would be about their own sexual tension or something. There are many many ways to turn this into something feel-good, and they chose not to.

(Not least because any of those ideas would have left out a lot of what this episode says about narcissism, codependency, Guillermo's own concealing of his identity, the way love means seeing a complete person who exists outside yourself...)

And many, many different staff writers wrote this storyline across the entire season. A number of which were women, several of which were women of color. One of those women of color is Middle Eastern and another is the co-showrunner. Of course women can write misogyny and people of color can write racism, but that also means there's no monolith of identity where the right people with the right identity will feel the right way about something at any given time, and there's only one response to have. The fuckup here, however large or small you believe it to be, did not happen because of two white guys writing this one script secretively in the dead of night.

So, I don't know. That's me. Please consider what was actually being written here, and what we actually saw, and not your headcanons or your subverted expectations. Or the things that built up in your head during the months of leaked material. And if it still makes you too uncomfortable to keep watching, then don't! But I don't think it was thoughtless or pointless, at all. Plus, literally any character can come back in this show, and they often do. So who knows what we'll see as a result of this.

[mothguillotine]

Hey Siri, Can Vampires Get Cucked?

"So it didn't go as well as I had hoped it would," you tell the camera thinking about the fact that Oscar ran away from you a week ago, "I was really hoping that I would be able to get Oscar to understand but now I'm realizing that it's possible that hypnosis was probably a better option and that knocking him out and kidnapping him was aggressive."

"The one good thing about the whole situation is that Nandor has finally started to warm up to me," you say, "he has actually spoken to me everyday. Actually I wouldn't say warming up to me is the correct term. I honestly have no idea what changed after Oscar left the other day." When you finish up your interview with the crew you return to your bedroom to do some reading.

Down stairs though Nadja is sat in front of the camera. She looks exasperated and when she speaks its present in her voice as well.

"I have been trying to get Nandor to grow some balls and ask her out but I have yet to have any success," she tells the camera, "I have watched Nandor follow her around for the last two weeks like a lost little puppy. I am sick of it."

"So I have devised a plan to get him to admit that he wants her," she says deviously, "Both of them have yet to truly talk and this will fix that. Of course Laszlo has a different approach."

"My idea is to shove them both in a room until something is either sucked, fucked, or cucked." Laszlo says as he sits down next to his wife.

"Cucked?" Nadja asks, "Why would this end up in cuck?"

"I mean you never know what could happen in there." Laszlo says looking suggestively into the camera while Nadja makes a face behind him.

"Well, we decided to mix our ideas together," Nadja says, moving the conversation forward, "We will lock them in a room together until Nandor confesses."

"Yes, and if it results in someone getting sucked, fucked, or cuck-" Laszlo starts to say until Nadja cuts him off.

"Laszlo!" Nadja yells at her husband, "This is about Nandor and his feelings. Not about you."

"Yes, I'm sorry my love," Laszlo apologizes to her but when they go to leave he turns back to the camera when Nadja is out of earshot and says, "If it results in anything sexual I will be a most willing participant."

_________________________________________

A little while later while you are reading you hear your name being called by Nadja.

"Nadja?" you call out.

"In here!" she yells. When you find her she is in Nandor's bedroom.

"Hey, what's up?" you ask her, " and why are we in Nandor's room?"

"One second sweetie," she says to you, "I will be right back."

You sit down on the chair in front of Nandor's coffin and for about ten minutes you wait until you hear someone in the hall outside the door. The door is quickly opened and Nandor is shoved in. As fast as the door opens its closed the next second and when Nandor rushes to open the door it doesn't budge.

"Laszlo!" he yells, "Open this door right now!"

When he doesn't get a response he starts yelling for Guillermo. You can hear nothing through the door though.

"Nandor?" you ask, "What's going on?"

Nandor turns around to look at you and immediately starts banging on the door again yelling for Laszlo to let him out.

"Just get it over with then I will let you out!" Laszlo yells through the door.

Nandor knew exactly what he was talking about. A few days ago Nandor had confided in Laszlo about how he found you beautiful and how badly he wanted you. In all honesty it reminded Laszlo of himself falling in love with Nadja. That's why he had forced this confrontation.

You on the other hand had no idea about what any of this meant. While you definitely didn't mind being trapped in Nandor's room with him you were confused. A few days ago Nadja had confronted you about what you felt towards Nandor and in all honesty since he started talking to you, you have developed a bit of a crush on him.

Nadja had pressed and pressed until you had admitted it to her and you made her swear not to tell anyone, which, to your knowledge she had kept. What you and Nandor don't know is that they had been conspiring to get their friends together.

"So, uh what was that all about?" you ask Nandor.

"You know Laszlo, he is my best friend but he is not the smartest." he says and laughs awkwardly.

"Nandor, what did he mean to get it over with?" you ask, you are honestly a bit worried that Nadja had told Laszlo and in turn he had told Nandor that you like him.

"Nothing," Nandor says, "He meant absolutely nothing."

"Nandor, whatever it is you can tell me." you tell him, Nandor turns from the door and faces you.

"I- its nothing." he tells you.

"Well it's obviously something or else we wouldn't be locked in here." you tell him.

"It's nothing," Nandor insists, "stop doing that."

"Stop doing what?" you ask him.

"Looking at me like that," he says frustratedly, "I can't deal with it."

"Okay, I am very lost." you tell him, "How am I looking at you?"

"You- nevermind," Nandor says, returning to banging on the door.

"Nandor!" you yell at him and when he doesn't turn to face you, you march forward and turn him around to face you, "Tell me."

You both stand still, this is the closest to him you've been since the first time you met. He looks down at you and a split second later he is kissing you. It surprises you for a second but once you get into it you are kissing him back, the kiss is sweet and short. When you both finally break apart you can't help but smile.

"Is that it?" you ask him.

"What?" Nandor asks, still a bit out of it.

"You just wanted to kiss me?" you ask, "That's it?"

"Well I wouldn't say I just wanted to kiss you but yes." Nandor says looking down at you.

"Do you wanna do it again?" you ask him and before you know it you are kissing again, this time though more passionately than before. His hands find your waist and you bring one of your hands up to his face. You both break away for a moment then resume your activities. One of Nandor's hands is making their way up the back of your shirt.

"Do you wanna-" You start to ask Nandor.

"Yes," He tells you.

"You don't even know what I was going to say?" you tell him smiling.

"Whatever it is. I want to do it." he tells you.

"Really?" you ask him, "Just like that?"

"Just like what?" he asks you confused.

"Nevermind, I was just gonna ask if-" You start to say but are interrupted by Laszlo.

"Nadja is starting to get what the humans refer to as 'hangry'," Laszlo says through the door, "We must leave now or she will become violent."

"Okay, Laszlo we will be right there." Nandor says, "I shall talk with you later, my sunshine."

_________________________________________

You are currently sitting down in front of the camera and honestly you have no idea what to say. Oscar hasn't returned any of your texts or calls and the whole situation with Nandor you still haven't talked about with him yet.

"The last week has been pretty crazy," you finally started, "I mean I don't even honestly know where to start but I'm starting to get the hang of the vampire thing. I hypnotized for the first time yesterday night, some security guard stumbled across us while we fed."

After you and Nandor had been freed from his room you had both been unable to speak with each other about what happened. As soon as you had left Nadja stole you to make sure you looked fabulous for your first official hunt. For the last two weeks Guillermo had brought you humans to feed on and now you were actually going to attempt to get one for yourself.

"We decided to go out by the bars and get any drunks who we stumbled upon," you tell the camera, "I wasn't told though that if you drink the blood of someone who is intoxicated that you also feel the effects. When I was still alive I was notorious at being a lightweight. Unfortunately, that carried over to my vampire life. If I was still able to be bruised my legs would definitely be covered in them."

You could honestly barely remember the night prior after you had all drank two humans. The security guard had happened early enough where you could remember it but a lot is missing.

Nadja and Laszlo had yet to leave their room and you haven't seen Nandor either. You were anxious that you may have come on too strong but you also knew that he did feel the same way. So it just honestly confused you. When you are dismissed by the crew you head to your bedroom.

Down the hall Nandor had tried on most of his clothes and still had not found the perfect outfit. Guillermo had been helping him try on and rate different outfits but after Nandor had tried on the same shirt and 3 slightly different pairs of pants he resigned himself to waiting till his master was ready.

"I honestly have no idea what is going on with him." Guillermo whispers into the camera.

"Ta-Da!" Nador says and Guillermo turns to look at him, "What do you think?"

"Wonderful Master," Guillermo says as Nandor spins to give him a 360° of the outfit, Guillermo turns to face the camera again and with a straight face says, "that is the very first outfit he tried on."

_________________________________________

You, apparently in your drunkness, had repeatedly texted Oscar apologizing over and over. It definitely wasn't the most embarrassing thing you have ever done while intoxicated, but it is definitely up there. For a while you lay on your bed staring up at the ceiling until you hear a knock at your door.

Nandor is standing there when you open the door with a bouquet of flowers. If you weren't confused before you are definitely confused now.

"What is this for?" you ask him and take the flowers from his hands.

"Well I read that bringing flowers to a potential mate is a good gift so I made Guillermo get you some," he tells you, "I hope you like them."

"Oh, Nandor, this is very sweet," you tell him, "Thank you."

"Oh it's nothing," he tells you, "I hope you like them."

"You asked me that already." you tell him smiling.

"Oh, well, bye." Nandor says quickly and leaves. You watch him walk down the hall and look back at the crew, confused, who is filming from the other way.

_________________________________________

"I have put a plan into motion," Nandor says to the camera, "mostly to get Laszlo off my back about my 'feelings' but I believe I have finally found the vampire I want to spend my life with."

You have been getting gifts from Nandor everyday for the past two weeks. At first it started off with simple gifts that anyone could find at a store but then it became more outrageous.

Three days ago he presented you with a gorgeous necklace and the next day he gave you a pair of earrings. Both days you had told him that you didn't need gifts from him but he had insisted.

In all honesty it was uncomfortable to accept the gifts he gave you, mostly because you had no way of getting him anything of the same standard. You loved that he apparently wanted to buy you presents but at some point it had to stop.

Today, as you expected, was no different. Except this time he brought you a bigger box than you had ever gotten before. It was about the same size as a small trunk and when you opened it you found a gorgeous dress, not too dissimilar from one of Nadjas.

"What is this?" you ask him while picking up the dress gently.

"I bought you a dress," he tells you, "I had Guillermo set it all up. He made sure the dress was the right size."

"Nandor, I don't know what to say," you tell him, "Thank you but I don't think I can expect this."

"Why not?" he asks you, "Do you not like the color?"

"No it's gorgeous but I-," you stop and think, "Nandor I really love all the gifts but you can't keep spending money on me."

"Why not?" Nandor asks and he looks kind of offended.

"Because you can't keep spending money on me." you tell him, "Honestly I really do love the gifts but you don't have to do that to impress me."

"I just like giving you things," he says, "seeing you happy makes me happy."

"If you want me to be happy then why don't we spend more time together?" you ask him.

"What would we do?" Nador asks you.

"Whatever we want. We could watch a movie or we could go read or something else. I don't know, whatever you want to do." you tell him.

"Can I kiss you?" he asks and you smile.

"If you want to," you tell him and he goes for it.

His hands find your face right away and you sink even deeper into the kiss. Your hand finds its way into his hair. When you both pull away you realize that you are still standing in your doorway.

"Do you want to come in?" you ask him.

"Yes." Nandor says simply.

When you drag him in the room you slam the door in the faces of the camera crew. As soon as he's in your room you resume kissing again.

This time though it's different, you both know what's coming. His hands start at your waist but slowly make their way up and under your shirt.

"Do you want me to take it off?" you ask him and instead of answering you he just rips it off. As soon as your bra is on full display he gets distracted by kissing your newly accessible skin.

"Nandor?" you ask him, "Do you want me?"

"More than anything, my sunshine." he answers you and the way he looks at you makes you want to melt.

You return to kissing each other and he picks you up to bring you over to your bed. When he sets you down you realize how much more clothing he is wearing compared to you.

"You are wearing too many clothes," you tell him and watch as he takes off the intricate top. When he is done you pull him down on the bed and kiss him again. Nandor goes straight to your bra hooks and takes it off. He pulls away to pay attention to your breasts.

"You are beautiful," he tells you and then kisses down your neck and chest til he gets to your tits. He pushes you down against your bed and starts sucking on your nipple.

"You are really good at this," you tell him and when he switches to the other side, "fuck."

"I have been a vampire since long before this country was found," he tells you.

"So what you are saying is that you have been around the block?" you tease him.

"The block?" he asks you, "I have flown around it."

"It means- you know what nevermind," you tell him, "more important things at hand than this."

You grab the back of his head and bring him down to kiss you. One of his hands starts playing with the hem of your pants while the other cups your left tit. You get the hint and lift yourself up to take off your pants, but before you can move to get them off Nandor does. He takes not just your jeans off but your underwear as well.

Then he dives in and licks along your folds. The shock of him on you has you pulling away until he wraps his arms around your legs and pulls you impossibly closer. Your hands find his hair and you wrap your fingers in it and when you look down at Nandor he starts to suck on your clit.

"fuck," you moan, "don't stop."

Nandor looks at you with his eyes and removes one of his arms from your legs. You suddenly feel two of Nandor's fingers pressing into you. You throw your head back against the bed and moan loudly. When he speeds up his actions you know it's only a matter of time until you come.

"fuck, Nan-nandor, I'm gonna-," you tell him until you feel a third finger inside you and you know it's over.

A wave of spasms run over you and you feel yourself grow wetter than before. Nandor continues to ravish you through your orgasm which makes it really hard to stop a second one from building.

"Nandor," you beg, "fuck me please."

He removes himself from you for a second and says "One more." then he continues to work you towards your second orgasm. This one comes quicker than the one before but it is just as intense. Nandor removes his fingers from you and lips them clean.

When he kisses you you can taste yourself on his tongue. You start trying to pull off his pants and when he stands up off the bed to do so you are greeted with his erect dick.

Around the house you had of course heard all about how he had a massive penis but it still surprised you to know that he was even bigger than you thought. You move to lick the pre-cum of the tip but when you do he moves away.

"Later," he tells you, "I want to fuck you first." He drags your hips to the edge of your bed and looks at you.

You nod and pull him in to kiss you. When your lips meet he starts into you. While he pushes into you the reason he wanted to have you ready becomes obvious, he is massive. Once he is fully seated inside of you he waits a moment. When he pulls away from your lips and starts moving. Slowly.

For a bit you appreciate that he is trying to make sure that you are comfortable but you want him to move.

"Nandor, faster," you tell him, "please."

"Whatever you want my sunshine." he tells you and starts to move faster than before.

You can't help but let out a moan especially when he starts to go even faster. When let out an especially loud one he groans. You start to feel an orgasm approach when Nandors fingers find your clit. He continues to pound into you and move his fingers over the sensitive bundle of nerves.

"Nandor!" you yell when you hit your breaking point and dig your nails into his biceps.

Nandors thirsts become more and more sloppy and you know he is close. You can feel yourself pulsing around him and soon enough he spills into you. When he is done he collapses atop you.

You both lay like this for a minute until you feel Nandor go to move out of you. When he does you feel the mess gather between your legs. He goes to grab a tissue from your nightstand and cleans you up.

After he throws it away he picks you up and moves you to lay on the bed properly. It surprises you for a second but let him do it. He moves to the other side of the bed and joins you in laying down.

His arm snakes around you and pulls you closer to him. You melt into him and feel yourself start to drift off.

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