#but i just think the goblin stuff is too silly and off the mark for anything knuckles or his parent who dies would dress as

[chaosspear]

I'm so happy you all like mach spider so much.... I promise I'm still working and thinking about that au, I actually have the lines of knuckles' outfit done:

he gonna be kind of like a harry osborn to sonic's peter (a.k.a the tragic best friend. everything will be okay. eventually).

[clubtuan]

Sorry, I couldn’t get to you

Pairing: Do Kyungsoo x female reader

Genre: The chilling adventure of Sabrina!au /witch!au /ansgt a lot of it/ mention of Swing Kids/ fluff / suggestive

Prompt : « I make my own happiness, and I hope you can too » - Sabrina Morningstar

A/N: I finish CAOS and I miss Kyungsoo. And I have Roh Kisoo feelings so yeah this happened, my first scenarios with EXO. And I totally wrote this listening to ‘’Say Something’’ by A Great Big World 90% of the time.

Word count : 5k

Rain was heavily falling that night, and your familiar, a black cat sitting next to you purring. Life as 24 year old witch in Seoul, but still a single 24 year old, life wasn’t that boring it was just that people were always asking you to introduce them to your boyfriend.. Hell who needs a boyfriend when their cousin is the king of Hell, or when your family is the known as the most powerful witches in this damn country ?

The smoke of your tea was long gone as the liquid turned cold, but a burnt smell came to your nostrils .. Park Chanyeol, the king of the under and your cousin.

‘’Hello cousin.

For the love of Satan, Chanyeol!’’ He laughed and take the place right next to you, taking off his crown. ‘’Hell is hella boring without you’’ he sighed.

The only thing you wanted to answer him was how earth was also a boring playground without him, and how Junmyeon wasn’t helping cause he probably was busy running the Academy of Unseen Arts.

You sighed, humans weren’t funny, working wasn’t funny, and plus your feet hurt, from working in Minseok’s small cafe. ‘’You’re a real drama queen Y/N’’ Said Chanyeol before readjusting his black oversized opened dress shirt. ‘’Go to a club, find a cute or bad boy looking guy and have some fun’’ He said picking up his bloody crown.

You couldn’t believe it, even your cousin was asking you to get .. well for the moment a one night stand, but still asking you to find a ‘someone’ ..

‘’Uh and before I forget honey, you may be a witch but black isn’t our only option here’ He disappeared before you could kill him or throw a pillow to his face.’’ -Unbelievable, was all you said after his exit.

You scanned your shelves full of spell books, ‘dark magic : a witchy way with demons’, other books about demons and others creatures you had to deal with, a big brown book caught your eyes and you smirk taking it in your hands. ‘’Boyfriend, here we meet’’ your cat meow looking at you ‘’I know buddy, but everyone says I should have someone so ..’’

To be real witches and wizards are known to have sex demons, and huge sexual orgies from time to time .. seriously what is the problem with witches and sex ?

Oh yeah Lilith was !

You find yourself in the bathroom that night, sculpting your future boyfriend in the wax of a few red candles. abs ? Check ! Cute looking butt ? Check ! Good look ? Check. Nice ?Also check !

‘’Let the doll sit in hot water for one to two days and your lover will be yours’’ you read out of the book.

The bathtub was full and ready, and your were casting the spell asking yourself the hell you were doing.

You clearly fell asleep, waiting to your full tub to see if anything would change .. but nope nothing really changed except the size of the wax doll, which was now a lot larger and not much looking like wax. Work was starting for another few hours but someone was ringing at your door at 9am. And the same someone didn’t wait for you to entered your apartment.

‘’Y/N? We know you’re here, the cat told us.’’ Aunties !

You exited your bathroom closing your door, they didn’t need to see your future love spell laying in hot water with rose petals !

‘’Aunties hi!’’ They both looked at you as if you were insane, well you totally looked like at the moment, your oversized black shirt, and dried mascara under your eyes !

‘’What are you doing ?’’

I’m creating my own boyfriend, cause people I work with, or I’m friend with ask me about my love life 24/7 .. nah you shouldn’t say that to your aunts or else they’ll kill you ..

‘’Nothing Aunt Zee ! I just need coffee cause I .. I .. Yeah coffee !’’

Both of your aunts looked at each other, but not in the suspicious way you tried to avoid, thanks Dark Lord ! ‘’Your cousin, ..’’ Aunt H started but you clearly were not listening to them. Looking at you bathroom door asking yourself a lot of question, does he has a name or you had to give him one ?

‘’Aunties, if you create someone out of .. never mind’’ you stopped yourself, they didn’t need to suspect you and your future « man »?

And the fact you wanted them out of here .. fast ! No need for them to see a stranger getting out of one of your rooms probably naked and confused !

You were bored to wait for anything to happen, and plus you received a text.

JUNMYEON:

You small witch, don’t forget about the Coven party in 2 days.

If you’re not here, I’ll kill u under the full moon babe xox

What a best friend ! You once again totally forgot about this little Coven thing at Minseok cafe he was hosting with Baekhyun.

Witches parties were always too much, even more if Byun Baekhyun was the one throwing the said party. Going back to the 50s (like literally), ghosts ..

To be honest you wanted your Saturday night to be a rerun of « Sabrina, the teenage witch » under a plaid on your couch with pizza, beer and tteokbokki, not a extravagant party with all your Coven.

BAEKHYUNIE:

Get ready for the night of your witchy spicy life, cause your god fairy mother (me!!)

got some friend who are single & ready to mingle !

YOU:

Baek, no more weird goblin or any magical creatures !

Plus you are late I’ve a date !

His only response was a few shocked emojis, and a few seconds later another text : I’m behind your door with food !

But Baekhyun, being Baekhyun he didn’t ring the bell and come into your home with a huge goofy smile on his lips.

‘’Don’t look at me like that, I’ve got your fav’’

Why everybody was coming to visit you today ? Normally your apartment was cozy and calm .. but not today ! For Satan’s love !

Baekhyun was one of your closest friend, but also a dark fairy and Chanyeol’s right arm.

And fairies loves to party way too much, it was in their personality ! But the cutest thing was his pointy ears.

‘’ So, my lil friend got herself a date ?’’

And fairy were all about gossips! You simply smiled and nodded at your friend. No need to say too much !

‘’Sooo ..’’ You tried to start another conversation ‘’ How is hell today ?’’

He lifted one of his eyebrow ‘’ Yeol was here last night, don’t try to escape my questions woman’’

Maybe you should have stuff your mouth with rice and onions !

Your fairy friend talked and talked, asking you a few questions about your date for the party. You nodded and made a few ‘’oh!’’ ‘’mhmm’’ but must importantly you were eating and trying to avoid his questions.

Until that one moment when Baekhyun suddenly stopped talking, and was looking behind you his mouth wide open.

‘’Sorry babe, I was a bit long’’

Babe ? You turned in your sit and your eyes dropped to a towel, one of your black towel hanging low on some hips, well defined hips to say, and as your eyes were going up to see who that was, you followed a happy trail, your mouth watered at the sight, happy trail being one of your weakness in a man. After his define stomach and sun kissed glowing skin. His heart shaped lips looked so kissable and full, his dark eyes hided behind tick black frame of glasses. God he was beautiful, more than that to be honest, his voice sounded like honey to your ears, his cute hand slowly scratching the back of his head. You watched a few drop of water running on his chest.

Next you saw a lot of beauty marks on his naked skin, a galaxy of beauty marks. The man got you hypnotized with one sentence, this spell was something !

‘’Hey, you must be Baekhyun ! Y/N told me about you’’ you were drinking his every words just like Baekhyun was. ‘’I’m Do Kyungsoo’’

Dark lord even his name sounded so heavenly (damn for a dark lord follower, you think a lot about heaven right now), after his introduction he excused himself to get dress.

‘’Is this your date ?’’ Murmured Baekhyun with too much excitement ‘’Damn girl you just hit the lotto !’’

Your first few days with Kyungsoo was surprisingly good, he already known a lot about you. Because to created him you dropped some drops of blood in the potion.

You asked silly questions to Kyungsoo, just to get to know him better: ‘’Bubble tea or Iced coffee ?’’ sure he was your creation but he still has his own personality. Your afternoon been filled with laughs, his hand in your hair, under your shirt, and finally you naked on top of him. His hands on your hips left some marks just like his plump lips and teeth drew love bites on your collarbone and others behind your ear. Your long black nails left marks on his back from the pleasure .. hell this man gonna be the end of your sanity !

‘’I’m glad you bring me to life’’ his arm was wrapped around your waist, and his lips continued their way in the back on your neck. You never expect anything with this incantation, you never expect the perfect man to came to life in your bathtub but here you were laying under your sheet naked, with Kyungsoo showing his love to you. Drawing abstract shapes on your skin, following your own moles creating a galaxy with his fingers.

Your friends and family were totally shocked to see him next to you, the Saturday night at the Coven party.

Even your aunt fell under his spell, and Chanyeol almost gave him his throne. Kyungsoo always had an answer to every questions about your relationship, his hand never left your side that night, or you find his lips on your cheek every other times.

Do Kyungsoo might be the result of your spell, but you totally were under his.

Days with Kyungsoo were sweet, full of adventures and funny. Sex was insanely good, (yes might be a witch thing but thanks Lilith) the feeling of his hand tracing your body, or even his lips on your skin. Or just his eyes on you were making you feel like the most wanted woman on the earth, Kyungsoo has his ways.

His moles were your favorite thing to kiss after his pillowy lips, but the must was the little mole on his top lip. And for Kyungsoo his lips found their home right under your breast, on ink saying ‘Witch’ he always said your tattoo was full of sarcasm.

Were you suppose to fall to your own creation ?

Your cat was laying on your bed, his head in Kyungsoo’s hand as his was caressing him. You watched him laying underneath your sheet, his chest on full display as your bedding was on his hips hiding a bit of his nakedness. ‘’You know I think he quite like you’’ you said to him ‘’Yeah he is purring, and I like him too .. he is like a part of you’’

You smiled looking at them, the sun was hitting Kyungsoo’s skin in all the right place making you craving him again, on the spot. His skin against yours, his finger interlaced with yours, his low groans .. he was hotter than hell.

Your black familiar exited the room as soon as you found a place on your mattress. ‘’You look cute with my shirt on’’ his hands traveled under the cotton of the shirt, tracing the shape of your chest. He smelled so nice just like lavender and woodland (a/n: if you ever smelled ‘autumn night’ by yankee candle this is the smell I’m talking about), everything about him was comforting, cozy and making you feel somehow safe. His lips right underneath your left ear, his right hand playing with the side of your black laced panty.

He was addicting just like a drug, now he was in your life you couldn’t imagine not having him anymore. Kyungsoo became a part of you, like a missing piece of puzzle and thanks to magic you finally completed the puzzle.

The way he made you feel was crazy, almost too crazy to be real. His breath hitting your neck made you moan even more than his hands running your body, and his length hitting every spots.

Days were brighter than before, spring was almost there cherry blossom were about to bloom, just like you now. And the night getting warmer but for once your bed felt empty and kind of cold without the raven haired boy sleeping next to you.

‘’Y/N ! ARE YOU ISANE ????’’

You woke up to Chanyeol screaming and tearing off his black hair. ‘’Yeol it’s 3 am, the fuck you want now ?’’ You asked, ready to kill him.

‘’Do Kyungsoo ? Huh ?? More like Roh Kisoo ! I can’t believe you invoke a freaking ghost to pretend to be your fucking fuck buddy’’

What ? A ghost ? Fuck buddy ? You were lost, totally lost and you cousin still panicked in front of your bed. ‘’ A ghost, what ? Who’s a ghost ?’’ He sighed loudly. ‘’Cousin, the aunties will legit kill you’’

Your only question was ‘who the fuck is Roh Kisoo ?’ He sighed once again before showing a beige folder (there’s folder in hell ? Anyway that is not the question)

‘’Cousin, he is dead, Do Kyungsoo isn’t real his name was Roh Kisoo, North Korean soldier. He used to tap dance, he was killed because he was about to kill an American soldier on stage’’

You couldn’t believe what Chanyeol was telling you .. you did not invoke a dead soldier, you created him out of wax. ‘’Chanyeol .. I created him. I do not fuck with dead’’

He stopped all his talking to look at you, dead in the eyes (no joke here). Your knees were against your chest as you sit on your mattress, ‘’He lied to me’’ you said softly. Your eyes filled with tears, you couldn’t believe you fell in love with your creation but he seemed so human, probably too human you were now thinking .. cause he been alive once.

Chanyeol wrapped his arms around you, even the king of hell could not bear to see his cousin and best friend crying. ‘’Love, do-does his heart beat ?’’ You looked up at him not really understanding why would it change if his heart was beating or not ? ‘’ If his heart beat, it means two things .. one he has feeling for you and second h-he .. he would become human, 100% human once again and believe his past life is just a dream .. Well his memories of the war and all being a dream’’

‘’And y/n..’’ He started again ‘’ you were in his past life .. his lover actually even if he never confessed or anything to you he loved you as Roh Kisoo .. that’s why he came to you as you created him’’

He put his hands on your eyes, and suddenly flashes of images, of him with shaved hair, kaki clothes, tap dancing, working on things, him stealing a kiss, stealing one of your kiss I the board of daylight, your death with two others persons you didn’t know and finally his own death.

The perk of being the king of hell was having ‘infos’ about people’s previous lives, and Chanyeol was shoving you Kyungsoo past life.

After your cousin exit, you didn’t sleep that night. You felt so small at the time watching the night lights by your window, thinking about everything that happened for the last two months of your life.. getting him, feeling happy and in love (a thing you never felt or lived before), how were you supposed to say all these things to Kyungsoo ?

Were you supposed to giving him up ? Send him back (yeah but were ?) ? Make him human ?

That morning Junmyeon made fun of you ‘looking like a panda’.

‘’ Y/N ?’’ He been calling your name for the last five minutes but your mind was anywhere but in Minseok’s cafe, jumping from memories to memories you created for the last 2 months.

The light was hitting your living room, a cup of coffee in your hand as you sit on your couch right next to Kyungsoo who was reading one your book. At the time everything felt right, as you were looking at him forgetting your cup in your hands, trying to find a single thing on him that was wrong .. but nothing was wrong.

‘’You know, I’ll not disappear love’’ you chuckled at his words, fearing that yes someday he’ll be gone.

His hand find it place on your knee, and his lips on your temple was comforting you and made you blush as a teenager.

At the time everything was simpler, you needed help .. but from who ?

You couldn’t bear to see Kyungsoo, not knowing how you’ll react in front of him, what to tell him, would you kiss him ? Let him make love to you ? Slap him ? Fall apart ? Break his heart ? (you didn’t know if his heart was beating .. if he was human or just the memory of his past life in wax)

YOU:

We need to talk aunties.

You were adult and you needed to face your mistakes, and you were finally doing it. The drive to your aunt’s was the longest it ever was and you felt heavy.

You spent a long time sitting in your car before entering the house, feeling a lot of shame, heartbroken, facing your mistake was harder than expected.

The second you saw your aunts you couldn’t keep your feelings together and start crying.

‘’ Chanyeol told us Y/N and even if your aunt wanted to scold you .. it’s not right to do now’’ started one of your aunt.

Aunt Zee was smoking but not saying anything, you knew she was disappointed. You felt totally out of place if you teleport yourself in a volcano you would to it right away.

‘’ I suppose Chanyeol explain you, the two options you have ?’’ Was Aunt Zee first worlds, you nodded.

‘’ If his heart beat or not, I could send him back or I can make him human.. ’’ your were stop by Aunt H ‘’ If you make him human, you know he’ll not remember you and what you both lived’’

Hearing that broke your heart even more, he couldn’t forget you if wasn’t right.

‘’ But he will kind of stay connected to you, as he has a part of you being your magic. So he is and will be a wizard.’’ Said your second aunt.

All you needed was time, a thing you didn’t have. One last time with him before choosing send him back or making him human and forget everything about you.

‘’But most important if his heart is beating, your trace will forever haunt him. Without him know why and who you are, love’’ said Aunt H, caressing your arm as comfort.

‘’ I can’t kill him’’

Yours aunties listened to you, telling them why and how to ‘created’ him, how happy he was making you, how human he seemed and now you knew why .. you told them everything, even wishing you had a last night with him.

Aunt Zee granted your wish, but tomorrow morning you had to say goodbye to love.

You never expected finding him dressed in his favorite black jumper and his ripped bleu jeans cooking in your kitchen with a glass full of white wine waiting for you next to his.

Your eyes filled with tears when his scent hit you, your head on his chest. ‘’ Let’s stay like this for a moment, please’’ you didn’t want him to see you like that.

The smile dancing on his lips broke you inside one more time, he looked so innocent in front of you, not knowing, almost like a child.

‘’You know babe, tonight there’s a shower of shooting stars let’s watch it’’ Yixing told him, even if he never met the Chinese wizard in real like they met on FaceTime, your friend was crazy when Baekhyun, once mentioned you had someone.

You simply nodded, even of shooting stars couldn’t help you this time.

The time moved so fast as if it was teasing you, your eyes never left Kyungsoo, too afraid to forgot him or to miss a beauty mark or the way his eyes were when he was smiling, looking at you.

Looking at him was the hardest thing you had ever done that night, you were giving up on him and you couldn’t say anything.

The view from the balcony of your appartement was incredible but the only thing you watched was him not the stars traveling the dark sky.

Even the moon seems ridiculous next to him, his glasses sat on his nose and his hair was a bit longer, his fringe hitting the frame of the glasses softly.

He turned his head to look at you, his hand caressed your cheek and his lips collided on yours, his kiss was full of passion, slow. Time stopped when his lips met yours, and you felt his heart pounded underneath your hand.

His heart was beating ..

‘’ .. I love you’’ His eyes were still closed and his lips still so closed to yours, and his thumb caressing your face.

Once again his lips crashed on yours, more intense this time. Yours hands holding the material of his jumper. ‘’Don’t ever forget about me’’ you whisper. His fingers slipped under the coton of your shirt, he pulled you even closer to him, as if no one else in the world existed. ‘’Never’’ you knew his answer was a lie but you needed it.

The time actually stopped at that moment the last time he made love to you, the stars and clouds were not moving and no sounds were heard, a spell to stop time was dangerous and only a powerful witch could to do but at the time it was your last priority.

It was the softest Kyungsoo ever showed you the way he loved you, he was taking his time with you that night as if he knew it was surely the last time. Looking at you his eyes were full of stars and his hands felt like velvet on your skin.

That night you refused to fall asleep, your head stayed on his chest listening to his heartbeat, his words playing over and over in your head, the way he confessed on that night was the hardest to accepted to you.

CHANYEOL:

I’m sorry cousin,

I tried to give a little bit more with him.

He make you happy I know.

You left your bed after reading the text to finally cried yourself to sleep in your bathroom, your hand on your mouth trying to muffled the sound.

The floor was freezing when you woke up, everything felt freezing in your house, in your body. Once you remembered, tears were running your cheeks and this time you didn’t shut yourself and screamed in agony.

He was gone.

He was gone and you were alone.

The first week was the hardest, you didn’t left your room and the last piece of him that was the shirt you wore that night.

The tissue did not smelled like him anymore.

Every day, every hour you were waiting for him to open your door arms full of bags from the grocery store ready to cook you something.

Chanyeol, yours aunts, Yixing, everyone tried to contact you, but you never answered them.

Every night Chanyeol wait for you to sleep and came, he was feeling guilty and you were his best friend. Every night he did the same, he tucked you and stroked your hair. Hoping one day you would be able to find peace with yourself, but that wasn’t the only thing on his plan !

You sat at your kitchen bar, you computer in front of you but all you did was staring at your window, your chin resting in your left hand.

You didn’t even watch Chanyeol sitting right in front of you searching something in one of his books. ‘’Cousin, aren’t you suppose to do mails stuff ?’’

‘’Chanyeol, aren’t you suppose to do king of hell stuffs?’’ Your sarcasm did in fact burn like hell !

‘’You know I became the king of underworld, so you selfishly could stay on earth and do selfish human things as the bratty witch you are’’

Why was Chanyeol even here at this point ? He wasn’t wrong, to be honest. All you did for the last few days was crying, sleeping, and being a brat to everyone who tried to help you what so ever.

‘’Cousin, life have so much to offer’’

‘’Fake, life sucks and I feel so done with it’’ He sighed loudly, feeling done with you.

Ignoring yours friends, cousin, aunts was purely selfish and you knew it but at this point you clearly didn’t give a damn .. but at the same time it was your fault and only your fault, if you didn’t use this spell, just to shut people and their needs to talk about your life.

It’s been 3 weeks, the first been the miserable one, the two second mark the start of the ‘new you’.

You were purely self-destructive at this point, losing Kyungsoo hurt you but what you did to yourself was worst. Invoking sex demons, trying spell to not feel anything, everything was good to ‘make you forget’.

‘’You know Sehun, fuck Satan and all that witchy shit’’

You were clearly drunk, and Sehun knew he shouldn’t give you anymore drinks but his pub had the best reputation with the witch population of Seoul, you lost the count of drinks you already drank.

‘’ You probably should go at home and sleep Y/N, I dont need the king of Hell to come and kill me’’

‘’Chanyeol ? He can kiss my ass ! Y’all can kiss my ass’’ your drunk behavior wasn’t a pretty sight.

After that Sehun didn’t understand a word you said, you were half crying, half mumbling. Poor bartender did not has the choice but to call Chanyeol to have an explanation and to get you back at your apartment.

‘’ Y/N you can’t live your life off ‘not feeling anything’ spells’’

Cold water woke you up, you stood in you shower fully clothed and your cousin holding the shower head.

‘’Why the hell are you doin’ that ?’’

‘’You asshole, needed a wake up call’’

Chanyeol was tired of seeing you being a danger to yourself, and decided enough was enough.

The heavy weight on your shoulders dropped suddenly and you body followed dropping in your cousin’s arms. ‘’ I just miss him so much Yeol’’

He watched tears rolling on your cheeks, not saying anything but his hand caressing your back.

Even if lives are connected Chanyeol couldn’t guarantee Kyungsoo’s comeback, your two souls might be connected since the beginning but the way they forced Kyungsoo into his human form couldn’t guarantee anything about their futur or life together. But he couldn’t tell you all that, like he couldn’t say he was following the man everyday.

And that you left your mark on him, he was now a wizard.

‘’ I’m here Y/N you can sleep’’

He laid you down on your bed, caressing your hair and projecting dreams in your head to give you a break, Chanyeol was the king of Hell, but he was hurt seeing his best friend and cousin living like that, he was ready to fight anyone so you could be happy again and to see you eyes full of stars just like when you were looking at Kyungsoo.

Chanyeol always knew that Kyungsoo’s heart was beating he felt it the first time he met him. And right after that he started his search about the man.

After that night you practically lived in the academy, teaching younger witches just like your aunts wanted. Reading books to perfect your magic. ‘’You know since you came to the academy everything seems simpler’’ Said your colleague Jongdae ‘’ Kids seems to like having one of the most powerful witch of the century teaching them stuffs’’ You nodded.

‘’Sorry Jongdae but I’m taking my cousin out for lunch’’

Chanyeol took you to Chinatown, celebrating one of his friend opening his own restaurant .. who were you to say no to free food ?

Lunch was nice, a private room for the two of you and all the best food on the menu. ‘’So the academy ?’’

‘’It’s good, kids are funny .. Yeol did you .. like killed someone for this guy ?’’

He laughed a bit too much ‘’ Not, it’s a guy a met not long ago and we became friends .. he is like us ‘magic’ he’ll come to see us’’

You nodded, finishing you plate and drinking a bit of the Chinese whisky that was left in your cup.

Chanyeol left you to go the to toilet, what type of cousin is he ? He need to go to the toilet when his friend was supposed to met the two of you ? Asshole !

The door opened and your phone vibrated at the same time a text from you cousin, why was he sending you a text when coming back in the private room ?

CHANYEOL:

I find him for you ..

Who did he find for you ?

‘’Chanyeol ?’’ You knew the voice, you once again felt the time stop when you turned around finding .. Do Kyungsoo in a chef attire.

Do Kyungsoo was the friend of Chanyeol, the one he wanted you to meet ..

‘’You are ?’’ Right he forgot about you. ‘’Oh yeah you’re Y/N .. Chanyeol told me a lot about you and you’re like the most powerful in our coven’’

A single tear rolled onto your cheek, you find him .. he was in front of you.

You finally find him, thanks to Chanyeol.

[nodesiretogrowup]

alrighty, let’s recap this bitch!

LAUNCHPAD! I’VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH! PLEASE COME BACK!

I looked up when National S’mores Day is (because I’m a nerd) and it is August 10. So either the photo later was mislabeled or, more likely, Launchpad got the wrong info

Huey with the little baby scouts is TOO CUTE!!

I wonder if Violet’s there. Probably not because she would have been hanging out with Huey if she was. Or this episode was meant to come before Challenge

It’s a baby beagle boy! I wonder if he’s there of his own will or if it is part of some plan

He scared away most of the kids! Now they won’t get to enjoy s’more-y goodness

His s’more sounds DOPE AF, though it probably would give you INSTANT DIABETES

“Aw, not even a modern robot.” MY SWEET SON!

I know it was the bully saying it, but Huey should chill a bit when it comes to doing things EXACTLY and PERFECTLY. It’s just gonna cause stress

 BOYD IS BABY AND I LOVE HIM

“Would you like to be friends?” “Sure. Wow, that was easy.” If only it was always that easy

I don’t know if Huey has the JWG as memorized as he thinks, going by Challenge and Quack Pack

“We’re just kids.” “Definitely!” *uses laser eyes to light fire*

This episode does a good job showing what a trigger word/phrase is like, though I’m not sure if that was the intention

I like that a squirrel with a burnt tail scurries out of one of the trees. It’s the attention to detail that helps elevate this show

Instead of jumping out of the way or hiding Huey jumps straight onto Boyd to try and help him. Huey already sees Boyd as someone worth protecting

The kid that just runs across the screen while his hat is on fire is great

Not sure why they took the time to change before going to Gyro but whatever

BOYD IS ADORABLE AND I LOVE HIM

“I’m more than an intern, I’m a scientist.” I feel like this might be hinting at Fenton’s arc for the season, possibly wanting to be seen more as a scientist than a superhero

I’m gonna pretend that using sunglasses on someone who is shooting lasers out of their eyes is a Cyclops reference. And they look pretty dope too

At least Fenton knows when he is in over his head...this time

Gyro trying to climb up on the table to avoid Boyd was kind of funny. And then him protecting himself with Lil Bulb

“Which one?” Manny is DONE with this shit

“Boyd? What idiot called it that?” Even when he’s not there, Gyro can still burn Mark lol

I figured 2-BO was a reference to something but wasn’t sure what. Apparently it’s a bit of a play on the name of Astro Boy’s in-universe creator’s son. Neat

 Huey stays in between Gyro and Boyd to protect Boyd

Fenton’s face cracks me up. There are NO THOUGHTS in this man’s head lol

“You were an intern like me?” “Nothing like you.” Damn Gyro, why so salty?

I don’t know why Fenton is so surprised that Gyro was an intern. I feel like that’s a pretty standard thing

LOVE IS STORED IN THE BOYD

It make me sad when Gyro mentions how many times Boyd’s core programing was altered. Poor baby doesn’t really get a say in what happens to him

“ROAD TRIP!” Huey, you do these kinds of things ALL THE TIME. I feel like he should be used to this by now

“YOU’RE not going. GIZMODUCK is.” Does Gyro see Fenton and Gizmoduck as separate entities or is this just a no, but yes type of joke?

Huey standing up for Boyd is so sweet. They barely know each other but Huey trusts him

When the episode doesn’t have the theme song you KNOW shit’s ‘bout to go down

I wonder who’s flying the plane. My guess is Launchpad because Della would have been cooing over Huey making a new friend and go into embarrassing mom mode. He probably went of on his own adventure or did tourist things like buying collectables. Or maybe Gyro flew them there. Who knows

As many people have said, the art direction and animation for this episode are BEAUTIFUL. I love the pink tint the lighting has in most of the episode

SAILOR MOON CONFIRMED CANON

I bet Mark Beaks is a Sailor Moon fan

I like that the in-universe Sailor Moon is a bunny because Usagi is Japanese for rabbit

I love that going incognito nowadays means you wear a hat, a hoodie, and sunglasses. Boyd looks good in red (though red is my favorite color so I might be biased)

Gyro-takes one step and the fuzz shows up. NOICE

I like detective lady. She has a cool design

Huey and Fenton are awful at acting casual

“Crimes?” Oh my sweet Hubert. I’m pretty sure most if not all of Scrooge’s employees have had run ins w/ The Law

Gyro is like, move I’m gay

“I’m here on a very important...field trip.” ALL THE KIDS NEED A GYRO FIELD TRIP LIKE HOW THE GAANG GOT ZUKO FIELD TRIPS

Lil Bulb said FUCK THE POLICE

I wonder what it actually says

Fenton just watches as the inspector chases Lil Bulb

Seriously though, Fenton does a bunch of silly stuff in the background and this episode warrants a rewatch SOLELY for him

How did Lil Bulb know where to find them? And how did he shake off the inspector? I want to see his little adventure

FOR SCIENCE!

“Blah!” *arm armor attaches* I want this joke to come back

Fenton and Huey INSTANTLY nerd out. I love them

Fenton being a Gyro fanboy is ADORABLE

“AH, DUST IN MY EYE! The dust of GENIUS!” What a dweeb lol

I like that Fenton keeps the arm on for the whole scene

Poor Boyd, he looks so scared

Huey going into protective big brother mode

Doofus continues to be equal parts hilarious and disturbing

Where are their parents? Like, someone should be looking after these kids! ESPECIALLY DOOFUS!

“Do you need a hug?” I SURE FUCKING DO

Mark is such a prick lol

“NO WAY, A ROBOT BOY! DREAMS DO COME TRUE!” YOU DON’T DESERVE THAT DREAM YOU COCKWAFFLE

SOMEONE HUG THIS CHILD! BECAUSE I CANNOT!

“Seems like the little guy’s had it tough.” MY POOR BABY

Lil Bulb gets SO PISSED he blew a fuse

You really shouldn’t have left them alone, Gyro

Why does Fenton automatically jump to superhero for Boyd? I mean the theme of the episode is letting Boyd choose who he wants to be so of course Fenton would have his own idea of what Boyd should be, but why go straight to superhero? Do you want superbros, Fenton?

Huey already realises this might be a bad idea, because he’s more concerned about Boyd as a person rather than Boyd as a machine

“IN RETROSPECT WE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE USED THE FIRST HOLE” Fenton, you dumbass genius

Dr. Akita’s setup made me laugh. I DIED when he “enhanced” the image

I recognized the character on the chips though I don’t know their name. I’m more of a western animation fan, so many of the references probably flew pass me

BOOP

I also have a key on my laptop that flies off (it’s the u key)

I LOVE BABY GYRO! It’s so cool they went with his og look (minus the red hair) to show him younger

I LOVE THE OUTLAW COUPLE! SO COOL! SO HOT!

Huey is so DONE with Fenton

I love the stupid G pose he does. PLEASE HAVE HIM DO IT AGAIN. PREFERABLY WHEN DW IS NEARBY

Such a polite boy

“My bones are metal!” This line and Boyd’s catchphrase of “Hi, I’m Boyd/2-BO, a definitely real boy!” reminded me of Olaf. The end of the episode gives Boyd even MORE Olaf parallels

Gizmoduck sliding by those boxes was cool

How did Gizmoduck get himself unstuck from that alley?

I loved the double take the female outlaw does

Huey is TRAUMATIZED

I legit thought Boyd was gonna light the oil on fire the first time I watched and I was like that won’t help

“So, what do we do now?” “I...don’t know.” This is why you don’t leave babies alone to fight criminals

Boyd reminded me of Calculester from Monster Prom when he asked the lady to return the money

STOP LEAVING THE CHILDREN ALONE! THEY ARE BABIES! THEY AREN’T EVEN TEENS!

“Why do we always fight when we’re on vacation?” Because this is Ducktales and there is no such thing as a normal vacation

Lil Bulb just kicking his lil feet

The “lab” safety poster made me chuckle. Then I remembered Akita is also a dog and I laughed more

LITTLE BABY GYRO GRADUATING! My guess is his professor/dean/principal influenced him on a personal level and is partially the reason Boyd is a parrot

Lil Helper blueprints. Nice reference to the og series

Has anyone talked about the poster with the cogs and the dogman in old-timey clothes that says GIZMOS on it? I think it’s a Dr. Who reference

IDEALISTIC GYRO AND BOYD IS TOO CUTE!

How did he NOT notice the second hole in the wall?

That is a surplus of handcuffs. Do you think she uses them for...fun times?

“I’m just a guy! With very bruisable skin!”

Poor misunderstood Gyro inventions

Boyd just politely waves at everyone

Huey is WAY calmer than I would be if I got lost in an unfamiliar city

Boyd says FUCK WORK

 I love Huey stimming. Really hope Disney will let them confirm in words that Huey is autistic

Is it more common for two kids to wonder around by themselves in Tokyo? Because as an American I find it super stressful and would want to find their parents so they could be safer

THE BUNNY! AND THEN THE KITTIES!

Do cats just take buses on their own in Tokyo?

CHERRY BLOSSOM TIME BITCHES

“And I know what you’re thinking, what about ninjas?” I am ALWAYS wondering about ninjas

I like that Huey finally has a friend who shares the same interests and doesn’t mind info dumps

“Boyd, I don’t think you’re a killer robot. You’re just a kid.” “Aw, that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.” T_T

I CAN SHOW YOU THE WORLD

I like Boyd’s motief

Akita is us after the quarantine

When he complained about being stiff I was like mood

I like his Green Goblin disc thingy

The other people don’t give a shit about Boyd just FLYING DOWN WITH HIS ROCKET FEET!

Gyro shows up *dramatic wind*

His tablet has a duckie on it. I wounder if they have a Mac/PC thing going on with Waddle and what brand the duckie represents

When the adults argue and Boyd gets all sad and scared I FELT THAT

Huey doing his best to keep Boyd calm and defend him SO PURE

OH GOD HELP THIS POOR CHILD!

HUEY IS A GOOD BOY AND A GOOD FRIEND

“Because of you I’ve become an outcast.” I feel like you did that to yourself

ANIME HAIR POOF

ngl, that shit was TERRIFYING

“You don’t have to do what Akita tells you. Do what I tell you.” So close

“INTERN! FIGHT BETTER!”

Huey must weigh NOTHING if Gyro can pick him up

Akita’s tail looks like a cinnamon roll

Huey always finding that hidden info

The gibberish Gyro says is great

BOYD SAYS IT BECAUSE GYRO TOLD HIM THAT!

THAT HUG!!!

HOW DARE AKITA HURT BABY GYRO AND SWEET BABY BOYD?!

PROTECTIVE PAPA GYRO

NEEEEERRRRRRRD FIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT

“You’ll never invent anything worthwhile.” LIL BULB HAS ENTERED THE FIGHT

Are doggos recyclable?

HUUUUUUUUUUUUUGS

Blue eyes=good robot

ANOTHER HUG

Be Only Yourself, Dude

I like that basically Gyro admitted that he was like Fenton if Fenton hadn’t had support

“That’s not technically how doctorites work, BUT I DON’T CARE!” Do you think Gyro doesn’t have his doctorate or do you think he assumed Fenton already had one?

“The hugging is a ‘just for today’ thing.” YOU CANNOT STOP THE HUG TRAIN!

“Leave. Now.”

Are they gonna go to the plane?

This season has been consistently knocking it out of the park! I’m a SLUT for backstory episodes, so I enjoyed this one a lot. I loved seeing Gyro when he had hope and faith in the world. It SUCKS that Akita took that away from him. Hopefully Gyro will see things slightly less cynical now. Fenton was a dweeb the whole episode and I love him for it. Boyd is SO SWEET AND PRECIOUS and in NO WAY deserved the treatment he got. I have a feeling there is more to Boyd’s creation/Dr.Akita that we’ll get later on. Huey was ADORABLE this episode. It’s really sweet to see him hangout with someone who gets him. Everyone deserves to have at least one friend like that. The fight scene was GORGEOUS! SO FLUID! I really loved this one and I hope we get more Team Science episodes because these characters play really well off each other. 

[b-icetea]

prompt n. 71 pls??

Silly relationship

nonsense :)

71. “You are the single best thing that has ever happened to me.”

David hates this fucking website.

He really does. Especially now that it’s time to upload his portfolio but the site is apparently not equipped to handle the high resolution of David’s work. The files were too big before, so he’s done his best to make them smaller, but he absolutely refuses to make them smaller yet again.

He’s got his standards, damnit.  

The page keeps crashing. Four times now, he has tried to upload the pictures. David is pretty sure he is going to dream of the error notifications tonight.

Now, though, finally, the page isn’t crashing, wonder of wonders. Instead, the little round thing next to the mouse icon is circling. Mocking David. Around and around it goes and the longer it happens, the more David can feel his shoulders tense. They’re somewhere near his ears right now.

Growling, David stares at it. Clicks out of the tab and onto another one where he has Netflix open, only to switch right back again, because a trailer for one of the site’s movies immediately, obnoxiously, starts playing and he doesn’t care about Wine Country or whatever the hell it is this time.

The website is still loading. David hits refresh. He’s pretty sure that made it worse, because this time the browser just gives up and shows him the error message again.

For the first time, he understands Matteo’s impulse to slide off of any furniture he sits on whenever life gets to be too much. Melting into a puddle of goo onto the floor sounds really awesome right about now. Goo puddles probably don’t get fucked over by university websites.

Since melting isn’t an option, because, sadly, he isn’t that flexible, David just crumples into a heap onto the desk. His head ends up buried in his arms. It’s really uncomfortable, because the position puts a lot of strain on his back and there has been a kink somewhere in his spine all day anyway. He can feel exactly where it is, directly between his shoulder blades.

It reminds him of that stupid mouse with that stupid circle. While he’s in the middle of contorting himself, trying to get the knot out of his spine and probably looking like a deranged cobra, he hears Matteo snort from where he’s sitting on the bed.

“You’re small”, he says, casually and basically out of nowhere.

David stops his contortions and looks back at him. He is propped up against the wall, headphones around his neck and plugged into his laptop. Judging by the way his fingers are moving across the keyboard, he’s probably playing something. His gaze is glued to the screen.

“No, you’re small”, David says, after a beat.

They’ve had this conversation before – if you can call it that, really – and he knows the script by heart.

“You’re smaller, though,” Matteo retorts instantly, eyes shooting David a quick look, before going back to whatever is happening on the screen.

“Wrong. I’m big.” David can feel a smile starting to tug on the corners of his lips.

He doesn’t really know when they started saying stuff like this. It’s super ridiculous – they just talk about the most inane stuff they can come up with until they can’t breathe because of all the laughing. That’s the purpose, of the whole thing, actually. Making the other one giggle and just marveling at the fact that you have someone you talk to about the literally dumbest things and they will not only love you anyways, they will talk right back at you, matching you word for word.

It means something, that. There’s intimacy in being stupid together, because it means you are so sure about the other person, you aren’t afraid of scaring them off with your dopiest self.

Matteo makes a skeptical noise in his throat and quirks his lips into something that looks like a downwards, frowny pout sort of thing. “I don’t see it. How big are you exactly?”

David throws out his arms out almost as far as they will go. “At least this big.”

His boyfriend looks at him and shakes his head a little. “I don’t know. That sounds like a lie.” He’s starting to grin as well, lopsided and dear.

“Are you calling me a liar, Mr. Florenzi?”, David says and lets his eyes go big in mock outrage.

“It’s because you’re lying.” Matteo presses his lips together and nods repeatedly.

“I’m not, though.”

“You’re small and soft and squishy, I don’t know what else to tell you, man.”

“I’ll show you squishy, you ass”, David half shouts and jumps out of his seat. Matteo instantly presses a button on his laptop, before hurriedly closing it and shoving it away.

It’s a good thing too, because David is already on him, fingers wiggling under Matteo’s white shirt and trying to find all the spots that make his boyfriend shriek with laughter. It’s one of the few times where Matteo is actually really loud.

Getting tickled is something he can’t endure quietly. He gasps and curls away from David, face bright and silly. Pressing his arms against his sides, he tries to make it impossible for David to get to his ribs, but David knows all of his weak spots, so he goes for his neck and after Matteo does his best impression of a turtle, he attacks the backs of his knees.

It goes back and forth a bit, Matteo feebly trying to give as good as he gets, but David won’t let him, because he’s ticklish everywhere, okay, so he can’t give Matteo even a little bit of leeway. It isn’t until long that they’re both out of breath and thank god it isn’t night this time, because last time they woke up Hans, who had the bad taste to tell them to keep their weird kinks to themselves.

David’s sides are hurting and his face feels hot, cheeks probably all red again, as they are all the damn time, anyway.

Matteo proves that perception right when he swipes his hand towards David’s head and drolly says “blushy, blushy” in a goblin voice. David catches his wrist instantly and bites him there, which makes Matteo snort.

They both sort of crumple into a heap then, David on top of Matteo, the two of them heaving for breath and letting out little giggles now and again while they calm down.

“I’m still stronger than you are”, David says once his heartbeat is back to normal. He feels like that needs to be known in case Matteo hasn’t learned his lesson.

“I’m still stronger than you are”, Matteo just says back in that stupid nasal voice he does for David sometimes.

In retaliation, David bites him again, this time on the jaw, because it’s the only place he can conveniently reach without moving too much.

“What kind of vampire are you, missing the neck and everything?”, Matteo grumbles, wiping the now slightly damp spot on David’s hair.

“You try to bite me all the time.”

“Yeah, but do I actually do it? I’m just playing. You’re the one that always makes things escalate.”

Indignant, David raises his head and looks into Matteo’s smug face. He looks like a gremlin. David has stopped questioning why he likes that so much.  

“Are you for real right now?”

“First things first, I’m the—”

“Do not”, David interrupts him, putting Matteo in a headlock and pressing his face against David’s neck so that the rest of his sentence gets muffled by his skin and all he can hear is Matteo’s snickering.

After a bit, Matteo stops and only presses his lips against David’s pulse point. Everyonce in a while, he can feel them move a little. It’s like his mouth is fidgeting and that mental image is so purely Matteo that David can’t help but smile and let the headlock he still got Matteo in soften into an embrace.

“You smell good,” Matteo tells him and David can feel every word against his neck.

“Your hair is soft”, David says back while rubbing his cheek against the dirty blond strands gently.

“You’ve got the nicest eyes,” Matteo answers, untucking his head from David’s neck to look at him, touching the skin beneath David’s right eye with the pad of his thumb and then just leaving his palm to rest against David’s cheek. David turns his head a little and presses a kiss right into the middle of it.

“Your ears are cute.”

“I like you so much,” Matteo murmurs and maybe that wouldn’t mean so much to some people, but in David’s head, you can, of course, like a person very much and not love them, but what often seems to be forgotten, is the fact that you can also love a person and not like them all that much.

David and Matteo are together, sure.

But they’re also best friends and while he’s young and this is his first real relationship, he’s pretty sure that’s what makes all the difference.

“I love you,” he says anyway, because Matteo needs to hear that and David likes saying it.

“You’re the single best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

The breath in his lungs seems to get lost somewhere halfway out of his body when he hears that.

Matteo looks a bit shy, but not nervous. He means it and he wants David to know.

It’s become a bit of a game, a competition. Telling each other all the things they like about each other. Stupid things, like how David loves that one mole behind Matteo’s ear and insists the mole marks that ear as the good one of the two. Things like Matteo being completely preoccupied by how soft David’s eyebrows are and how he’ll sometimes stroke a finger over each of them, smiling. But they also tell each other stuff that’s less silly and a bit harder to get out.

How breathing is easier when the other one is around. How David makes Matteo feel like he’s less of a fuck up. How Matteo gives David the courage to stop running.

But neither of them has ever said those exact words. David doesn’t think he has ever been the best anything for anyone. The mere idea that Matteo actually said that, because he sees these words as true enough to let them out into the world …

David knows he’ll hold onto these words. He can already feel them, inside of himself, where his heart is, somewhere around where he feels overfull in the best way, making a nest and settling down there for good.

He pulls Matteo against himself more securely and cradles his head in his palm like the precious thing he is. He won’t ever let this boy go. Not ever. Because that thing Matteo said?

David feels that, too.

They can be each other’s best thing forever. He thinks that’s what being together should always mean anyway.

[smash-chu]

All of the fantasy asks!!

Fairy- What is something that you get excited about?

A lot of things, it’d be hard to list everything but i get excited about things in games i like, seeing people i care for being excited, and whatnot! I also get excited about drawing something really well and also knowing it will be liked

Mermaid- What are you looking forward to?

Uhhhh, that thingy with you whenever that happens :3 And i guess seeing where life takes me, as well as looking forward to more summers, i love summer

Elf- What are you proud of?

That i decided to keep on drawing! 

Dragon- Sexuality?

Ace, probably, haven’t really bothered to figure that stuff out

Griffin- Gender?

I’ve gone with female for as long as i have known, so i s’pose that

Unicorn- Who do you look up to?

My friends! I don’t have any particular people that i look up to per say, some artists can be inspiring though sometimes

Spirit- Have you ever been in love?

No idea :b Maybe? I honestly don’t know for sure

Ghost- Favorite song?

Hard to pick!! I love plenty of songs, i’ve been listening to this a lot tho recently because it’s nostalgic and makes me happy

Poltergeist- Favorite song lyric?

This entire song, it’s so pretty it sometimes makes me cry, it’s an innocent, sweet song that just overwhelms my soul with a feeling of hearth

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGCOWadWE2Q

Ghoul- Who is someone that makes you laugh easily/who’s company you enjoy most of, if not all of, the time?

You, you goof :b As in the person sending this ask

Goblin- What makes you happy?  

Seeing people i like being happy

Dwarf- Favorite tv show?

Hah! I don’t watch tv! Nor shows these days! Luckily i can just say the moomins cause reasons~ Oh and Pokemon, but i stopped watching that after the gen 5 season came out cause that was also when it took a major halt in being released in Sweden :b

Vampire- Are you currently reading any books? If so, what book(s)?

I don’t read many books, mostly cause i know little to no good books and spend so much time drawing and doing other things! I do read a webcomic atm :3c Which i should keep on reading..

Werewolf- Who is your family? Who do you live with?  

My family is my straight parents n my three younger siblings, they are a silly bunch! I currently live with no one but there are plans for that to change :3

Siren- Favorite color?

This beautiful thing! I love a lot of colors tho

Hobgoblin- Do you like anyone?

:3

Wraith- Any scars?

Yeah i have scars on one of my eye lids from a big lump i had growing on it when i was young, it went away but it left it’s mark! Fun fact, it happened on both, but only one left a scar. There’s also a very faint and barely visible scar from when i hit my chin against a rock when i was younger. I also have stretch marks, but i dunno if those count.

Specter- Have you ever been in love?

Bitch this is the same question as the one earlier, the fuck

Chimera- Will you/do you want to get married?

Oh i wonder what the answer to that is UwU 

Changeling- Do you want children?

No idea, based on the fact that i’m scared of pregnancy and already hate my uterus to oblivion i will never bear a child myself that’s for sure, but if given the time, resources and motivation, i would maybe consider adoption later in life

Oracle- Do you like children?

Yes and no, they can be incredibly annoying, but also funny and carefree. I do respect them though and won’t be a jerk to a child, but i in general avoid having anything to do with them if i can.

King- Describe your ideal day.

My ideal day is one where everything is chill, there’s no chore that needs to be done, i have no commissions or schoolwork, literally anything is within my reach and i can hang with my best friend.

Queen- Age?

20!

Princess- What is your relationship with your parents like?

Chill, they owe me stuff and i tend to help them out a lot more than they would like, but hey good on them raising a child who saves up a shit ton of money when given the chance :b I like them but they also feel hard to talk to, too, there’s still that thing in me that doesn’t like facing them despite me being an adult and they treating me as such.

Prince- Birthday?

The 17th of February!

Necromancer- If you could spend a week with anyone, alive or dead, who would it be?

My best friend, the sender of this ask :3

Castle- What is something that not a lot of people know about you?

I work towards goals other people would not expect nor think would be a thing, oh and i also like never ever brush my hair because i’ve given up on trying to tame my wild mane of curls - i am at it’s mercy

Tower- What is (at least one thing) something that you’re afraid of?

Talking to my parents about stuff that involve saying no to something they want. Falling down my stupid stairs on accident. Hurting people i love on accident. I also have a strange fear of construction machines which i can’t explain.

Magic- Describe your crush without saying their name.

The fuck is a crush lmao, i can give my info on things like appearance vise! Tall, long hair, freckles, glasses, chubby and friendly looking! Both of my best friends i’ve had over the years had those features, so that might be why i like those things

Enchanted Forest- Height?

4′11″ i’m always the shortest in any squad i am in and i contribute by making people feel tall for once, never expect me to successfully get anything off a high shelf unless you wish to see me go on a dangerous climbing quest

Magic Healer- Any pets? If so, what are they?

Don’t got no pets of my own, but my family owns a lil doggo named Zigge! Unless one counts the spiders in my house, in which case i have a big cellar spider named Sanic (cause she fast) and a occasionally visiting jumping Spider named Stripey.

Potions- Relationship status?

Single, duh

Potion Making- Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

I don’t even remember who i last gave a kiss to in the flesh, so i dunno

Divination- What do you think about yourself?

I’m certainly a person! I love my own sense of humor cause i often amuse myself and like how creative i am, it makes life so much more enjoyable. As much fun as it is making fun of my smallness and being a grump about it, i like that too honestly. I wish i had freckles though. And also was better at comforting people. I kinda suck at that a lot

Visions- Do you miss anyone?

Hmmmmmmmmmmm, i dunno maybe my bestie

Curses- How do you show affection?

I throw gifts towards a person, often art, and i also do it via constantly wanting to listen to what they say and want to hear whatever they are up to. I also tend to pick up the interests of people i like so i can relate and talk to them about it, it also makes me understand, and i value that a lot. Catering and trying to make either a fun or comfy atmosphere for the person is also something. Physical affection i am less certain about, mostly cause i don’t have anyone nearby to do that with yet :’3 Hugs are wonderful tho!

Charms- Are you religious?

Never have, never will. It doesn’t interest me, i love myths and stuff like that, but dedicating myself to a religion? Nah

Hexes- What’s your favorite smell?

Baking bread, sitting in the oven.... ahh.. 

Jinxes- If you could be anywhere, where would you want to be?

I like being in my home :3 I personally would not be anywhere else, but if i could bring another person here the obvious pick would be my bestie, of course ;3 And if i have to pick?? I guess at their place, though that’s far away and i don’t like America cause it kinda sucks and is scary for a little swede like me who has at most traveled to Germany and Denmark which are like right around the corner

[fiddler-unroofed]

{four instances of a favor}

(quick author notes: the timeline skips a lot & I used greek for halfling because why not)

warnings for lowkey suicidal thoughts but generally just trying to convince yourself you’re okay with dying, and some mentioned but not very descriptive wounds 

Prompt from @idonottlikethishellsite: from the list of shit i hope never actually happens-- been thinking a lot about how reincarnate is the lowest lvl spell that could change nott into something other than a goblin but would require her to die first. the thought of nott purposely wanting to use that spell and trying to talk caleb into it keeps me up nights.

***

"Would you ever let me die?"

The question is asked innocently enough, but it still gives Caleb pause. He turns to look at Nott, but she doesn't meet his glance. Her feet dangle over the tavern table she's sitting on. At her side, her flask lies, their cause for visit.

Caleb nods. "Ja," he says flatly. "Over my dead body."

(Not that it's worth much.)

Nott smiles at him, but it's strained. Her lips are clamped over her teeth like she's holding a secret. "That's very sweet."

"Yes. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, no reason." Her fingers twist into each other, and she fiddles with them aimlessly. Her feet have started to swing under the table. "Just one of those silly thoughts I get sometimes, Caleb, you know me."

"Mm." He does know her, and that's what worries him. It's only been a few weeks, and already he knows her like the back of his hand, like the color of the sky. He'd know her blind or deaf. Which, by the way, he'd have to be in order to believe such an obvious lie.

He lets it drop anyway. “Long day tomorrow," he says instead, and carefully watches for her reaction. “Lots of shopping.”

It worries him more when she gives him none. "Yeah," she says. Absently. Like she's still turning something over in her mind, molding it into shape. Caleb knows what's it like to overthink things, (he knows it far too well) and he knows it's not what's happening here-- but for the life of him he can't figure out what is.

"Yeah," he echoes in her voice. And then, returning to his own: "I was thinking we could stop by a book shop I found on the way here. It sold many things-- mostly books-- but I think you would like it." He tries for a smile. It falls short. They always do. "Lots of trinkets. For your collection."

Nott's expression remains blank, but by the way her ears droop Caleb knows his approach backfired. Shit.

"My collection," she agrees, fake cheerfully. It sounds as far from sincere as he's ever heard her. "I do love trinkets."

Caleb drops the pretense. "Look," he says hesitantly, "I know I am not the best person to talk to about... things. Or stuff. Or anything, really. But if there is something troubling your mind, something that I am able to help with--"

"No, no," Nott interrupts him. She jumps off the table and dusts herself off briskly. "I'm fine. I swear it. Just drank a drop too much, and well..." She gestures to herself sheepishly. "I'm not always a happy drunk, I guess. I'll be right as rain in the morning."

"Ah," Caleb says. He wants to believe her. He wants it more than anything else right now. "That is all?"

"That's all," Nott promises. She leans up, on tiptoes, and beckons for him to bend down. Caleb does, and before he knows it a sudden warmth tinges his forehead and Nott's pulling away with a look that he can only describe as familiar. He blinks at her owlishly, and she smiles. Still through clamped lips.

"Night, Caleb," she says, turning on her heel and already making her way across the tavern to where they've scoured up enough coin to book a room for the night.

 "Good night," he says. He doesn't think she heard him.

Slowly, he reaches up and presses his fingers (the fingers of a murderer) against his forehead. The warmth has already left it.

"Good night," he repeats to no one in particular. It is a good night. No, maybe good is not that right word. It is a strange night, is what it is. Only on strange nights do your little goblin friends ask you odd questions and don't tell you what's wrong and kiss you on the forehead (it's so familiar, like his own mother's when she'd tuck him in at night) before going to sleep at 10 pm.

But then again, he reasons, she gave you her excuse. Who are you not to trust her? She says she drank too much, and this is another side to her you have yet to see. Just because you know her a few weeks does not actually mean you know her a lifetime. Who are you to claim that she's lying?

He stands up, a little more satisfied with his choice, and goes to head after where Nott left. The flask shines forlornly as he passes it, and he takes it by habit, shaking his head a bit at his little friend's forgetfulness.

Then he stops.

The flask is still full.

***

“D'you think you'd be upset?”

They've been on the road a while now, and Caleb is getting antsy. Only a while ago did they encounter a pack of vicious hyena-like creatures (he thinks they're called gnolls) and only a while ago did he have to watch as his little friend nearly got slashed in two. He tried to patch her up, tried to look past the amounts of crimson pouring out of her and do his best, but he's no cleric. Just a wizard.

(Just nothing.)

Nott trails after him now, her eyes drooping and with the faint tinge of iron to her scent. As she asks the question, she sways a bit, and Caleb instantly slows down.

“Upset?” he asks. “Over what?”

Nott shrugs. “Me. I dunno. If I died.”

Caleb stares at her, but she's resolute in not meeting his gaze. Something about the whole scene rings familiar in his mind, and he strains, trying to remember where they might have had this conversation before. A tavern? No matter.

“Ja,” he says, slowly. “I think I would be very upset.”

“Oh.” She rubs at her eyes. “Well, er… how upset? Like on a one to ten scale, maybe? Can I get an approx--”

“Nott,” Caleb says, and gods help him he's already starting to get upset thinking about it, “Are you planning something?”

Nott has the nerve to look offended. “What? No!”

“Then what are you asking me for?”

“It just doesn't make sense to me, that's all.” Nott shrugs, and her footsteps quicken a bit. Caleb picks up the pace as well. “I mean, you could always just revive me, right? You're a wizard. You're magic--” (and oh, how beautiful the word sounds on her lips, like glitter and awe and everything magic was, once, everything magic should be) “--and you're powerful. I don’t think I’d be gone for long.”

(Too powerful, some might say.)

Caleb swallows, and tastes bile at the back of his throat. “Yes, that is true. But I'm no cleric, Nott. And the idea of me reviving you does not cancel out how horrifying you dying would be.”

A pause.

“Do you. Want to die?”

No response. Not even a whisper. Caleb's heart sinks, and for a second, flames flicker in his eyes. He thinks about Nott, jumping in front of him to confront the gnolls. Nott, completely fine with the idea of being torn apart if it meant he would get away safe. 

He grabs her arm. She freezes, and Caleb instantly adjusts his grip so it's not hurting her.

“I do not know what you're hiding,” he says softly. “But please. You know you can talk to me, ja? You know that I am here for you? I would do everything in my power for you. You know that, don't you?”

She looks up at him, just two golden eyes blinking in the dark. The mask hides her lower face, and he hates it. Hates not knowing what she's thinking. Hates only being able to read half of her.

“Yes,” she finally says, and relaxes in his grip. “I know. Thank you, Caleb.”

He lets go. That's not the answer he wanted, but he's never been one to push the matter. And Nott seems tired as it is right now.

“Let's camp out here for the night.”

“Okay.”

She helps him light the fire.

For once, his parents are the last thing on his mind.

***

“Caleb!”

Caleb looks up reluctantly from where he's poured over the newest book he's bought. It's a fascinating text all about transmutation and history, and it's wrapped up in the kind of red leather case that makes his heart skip a beat. Being broken out of the trance that comes with it is beyond infuriating.

He opens his mouth to snap out a ‘go away i'm reading’, but stops when he sees Nott's face. It's flushed and excited, pupils round and smile stretching from ear to ear. Something good must have happened. And he always has time for a shred of good news.

He slowly puts the book down and beckons her inside. She looks like she might explode.

“You seem... happy,” he says.

She nods, head bobbing as if on a spring. “As a matter of fact, I am!” she says giddily. “Read this.”

She shoves a bright blue book in his hands (where did she even get that) and waits, bouncing on the balls of her feet impatiently as Caleb examines it. It's a fairly old book, nothing like the red one Caleb was just reading but still in its decades. He squints at the letters before identifying them as Halfling.

He doesn't read Halfling.

Where on earth did Nott get this book?

He hands it back to her in confusion. “I appreciate the literary enthusiasm,” he says slowly, “But Halfling is a tongue I do not speak.”

“No, I know that,” Nott says in a voice that implies she did not, in fact, know that. “But it's a really easy passage, just go to page 117 and you'll see, I've taught you all the words you need to know!”

Caleb sighs and obliges her. Page 117 is in the middle of the book, and based on the scribbled in pencil marks and circled words, he has a feeling it's also the most read part.

He starts to read.

Reincarnation

Casting Time: 1 ώρα

Έκταση: Touch

Components: Σπάνια oils and αλλά πράγματα αξίας at least 1,000 gold και τα λοιπά, δεντρολίβανο

Duration: Instantaneous

Εσύ touch a dead humanoid ή ενα piece of a dead humanoid. Εξαρτιόταν ότι the creature has been dead no longer than 10 days, the spell forms a new ηλικιωμένο body for it and then καλεί την soul to enter το body. If the target’s soul isn’t free or willing να το κάνει, the spell fails and

He closes the book.

“Nott,” he says, and the dread coiling around his heart is all too familiar to him, all too cold and heavy, “what is this?”

Nott grins. “It's a spell, Caleb! A spell that can change people! Isn't it wonderful?”

“Yes,” Caleb says, and pinches the bridge of his nose. His parents’ form flickers in front of him when he closes his eyes. After a second, Nott's joins them.

He hands her back the book and stands up. His foot has fallen asleep, and he tries to shake it awake again but it's too late, now his other foot is asleep too and he's numb all over, numb and cold and confused.

“Why did you show me this?” he asks.

Nott looks at him like it should be obvious. “For me,” she says simply. “I didn't think it was real at first. I don't know much about magic and spells and things, so I thought maybe it wasn't. But then I looked more carefully, searched a few bookstores, nicked a few tomes and-- here it is. The spell that can change me. Reincarnation!”

She does a giddy little jump. Caleb can only stare. He knows how Nott feels about herself. He knows her hopes and dreams, even if they'd never crossed her lips to him. He knows more than she thinks. He always does.

But in this moment, he feels like he doesn't even know who he's talking to.

“Nott,” he says. “This spell requires way too many things than we can afford.”

Her ears droop, but she's still smiling, undeterred. “Like what?”

“Oils. 1000 gold. More things I cannot read.”

Nott laughs, and it's all wrong, this whole conversation is wrong and Caleb wants to go back to reading his red book and acting like this never happened. “Oh, don't worry, I have quite a bit of coin saved on the side. Just a few more months and I'll probably have even more than that book asks for!”

“And the oils?”

“I'll nick them. I dunno. I'll find a way.” She grins. “Oils, Caleb, really, is that what you think is gonna throw me off after all this time?”

“No,” Caleb says, and he hears a faint ringing in his ears, “But I thought the fact that your corpse is required might.”

For the first time, Nott looks a little disturbed. Not a lot. It's barely noticeable, just a quick flit across her big yellow eyes, but it's enough to make Caleb feel better, if only for a moment.

Then the doubt is broken, Nott is clearing her throat, and the ringing in Caleb’s ears has returned.

“Well,” she says simply, “you thought wrong.”

And Caleb leaves the room.

***

“I'll do it without you if I have to.”

Caleb doesn't even turn his head. It's way past midnight where they're staying, and both of them should be sleeping-- but of course, neither of them are.

Neither of them have for what seems like months.

There's a moment before Nott speaks again, her raspy voice slicing through the silence like a knife. “I don't want to. But I will.”

“How will you do that,” Caleb says flatly.

A muffled huff from Nott informs him that his friend isn't sure either. “I don't know yet,” she finally admits. “But I'll find a way. I always do.”

“It's a powerful spell.”

“I have powerful friends.”

“It's difficult.”

“It's worth it for me.”

Caleb nearly pinches his nose on instinct, but stops just in time. He can't bear to close his eyes anymore. They've started playing tricks on him again. They'll show him Nott burned into the insides of his eyelids, Nott bleeding out on the ground and Nott with her little limbs all twisted up and Nott with fire consuming her from the inside out--

He realizes his mouth has gone dry. He swallows.

“You want to die,” he says. It's not a question.

He can almost hear Nott’s shrug, almost hear the flicker of doubt smothered under fierceness. “No. No, I don't want it. But I'm willing to.” A small laugh. “I've always been willing to. For Jester, and Beau, and Fjord, and you--” her voice catches a bit, but she plows on “--and Molly… why can't I do it for myself for once?”

Caleb doesn't answer her. He doesn't know what he'd say.

There's another beat of silence before Nott speaks again.

“I was so happy when I heard about it,” she confesses quietly. “I didn’t even know about the coming back as me part. I thought that when I died, I’d come back as someone brand new. And I was fine with that, I really was, but then I thought of you and I didn’t tell you about it and I dropped my research because I knew you'd get cross, and I knew you'd get sad, but then you said you'd do everything in your power for me, that one night we fought the gnolls together, don't you remember, and I started to look into it more actively, and I thought--” A sigh. “I don't know what I thought.”

She rolls over from where she's curled at the bottom of the bed like a cat, and even through the dark Caleb can feel her eyes, two golden pinpricks almost like lanterns trained on him.

“Please, Caleb,” she whispers. “I need this. I've always needed this.”

“But I need you,” he says. It’s such a selfish thing to say, such a selfish reason, 

(but he’s always been a pretty selfish man, hasn’t he?)

“I’ll still be here,” she says. “You’d bring me back as me. It’d still be me.”

“My hands were built for destroying,” he says. The words burn as he speaks them but he knows they need to be said. “Not for creating. And any creation built from destruction is a creation I want no part in.”

His breath rattles in his chest as he says his next sentence, all in one go, not letting it burn anymore than it has to: “I can't do this for you, Nott. I'm sorry.”

Silence. It stretches on for so long that Caleb half thinks Nott's fallen asleep, and a part of him hopes she has, hopes so desperately that she'll let this conversation be nothing but a bad dream in the morning.

But hope's done nothing but fail him so far, and tonight does not intend to prove an exception.

“Well,” Nott says, and it's the emptiest Caleb's ever heard her, “Then I guess I’ll have to find someone that can.”

They don’t speak again.

[tisfan]

Tricks and Treats with Venom

A/n - No one actually requested this prompt, but I wanted to write some symbrock and I wanted to do something festive. So, here’s my first stab at Eddie/Venom. It’s cute, seasonal, and no one gets eaten.

The problem, Eddie Brock decided, with wearing a hoodie all the time was that he didn’t always notice the seasons changing. Sometimes he was too warm, sometimes he wasn’t warm enough, but most of the time, he was too busy thinking (or talking to himself, or talking to Venom) to really notice that the seasons were changing.

Besides, it was San Francisco. If he wanted to wear shorts most of the year, he could do that. In fact, he knew a great many people who did do that. They looked silly in their sweaters and shorts, but that was okay.

Most of which simply meant that Eddie was plodding along, talking outloud to Venom and pretending that he was writing another article if anyone looked at him funny -- which they did, sometimes, but again, San Francisco. He’d have to go much further east to start standing out as being crazy, even as a host to an alien parasite -- when suddenly Venom drew them to a halt.

Eddie, what is that, Eddie?

Since that could be anything from a new kind of dog Venom hadn’t seen before (unlike humans, symbiote didn’t seem to have much in the way of a generalization code for things. Humans tended to quantify things very quickly, if it was green and tall, it was a tree, if it was green and short, it was a bush. Handy for avoiding lions and stuff. Dogs were all friend shaped. Like that. Venom didn’t do it. At all. Which was really exhausting sometimes.) Eddie had to actually stop and look around.

And since his brain was always going on eight tracks at once, he bumped into a half dozen people -- and one telephone pole -- before he actually managed to stop walking, look around, and attempt to figure out what that Venom was hung up on this time.

“That? What that?”

THAT.

That, apparently, was a cluster of children traipsing down a residential sidewalk, decked out in their finest K-mart shopper cheap maybe-it’ll-hold-together-for-one-night costumes, being led by a teenage slutty witch who was glaring at everything like she’d rather be anywhere else but here.

“Uh, trick-or-treaters,” Eddie said. It was enough of a word, maybe he’d get a block or so before Venom finished examining the word and asking for explanations.

Treat?

(more below the cut)

Trust Venom to get stuck on that part. “Yeah, they, uh, it’s a little kid thing, you know.” Eddie chewed his lip, trying to figure out how to explain it. “They, uh, dress up as monsters and goblins and heroes and stuff, pretend to be something they’re not. And they go around to houses and trick-or-treat.”

What kind of treats?

Eddie wiped his mouth with the cuff of his sweatshirt. “Um, candy, mostly. Sometimes people give out raisins, or stickers.”

We don’t like raisins.

“I know, Vee,” Eddie said. He’d spent one morning sweeping up after he’d bought a box of raisin bran and Venom picked every single raisin out of the bowl and threw them on the floor in the kitchen. He liked the flakes. Right up until Venom figured out what extra fiber did to their diet.

Can we go?

“Go where?” Eddie wondered, having walked at least another block in the meanwhile, but then he couldn’t remember where he was actually going -- was he going home, or was he planning to walk by Anne’s apartment a dozen times, wave to her cat, and pretend to just be casually going on his way to… wherever he was going. He didn’t know why he did that, it was weird and stalkery, and much as he hated to admit it, he actually liked Dan, he was happy that Anne was happy.

But sometimes he felt the need to check on her, anyway, just to make sure.

Of what, he wasn’t sure.

Besides, it wasn’t like he had any other friends, these days.

We’re friends, Eddie.

“We’re somethin’, all right,” Eddie said, and he smiled, because that was true. Sort of. If you played fast and loose with how you defined friend. And Venom liked Anne, too, so sometimes, Eddie thought that he did the Anne-stalk-by routine because Venom liked to see Anne.

You didn’t answer our question, Eddie. Can we go?

“I thought I did answer that.”

Answering a question with another question is a bad habit, Eddie. Go trick-or-treating.

“You’re still hung up on that, that was like, what, two blocks ago, gotta keep up, Vee,” Eddie said. “We’re not trick-or-treating, you’re too old for that.”

How old do we have to be to be too old?

“Uh, I dunno, do I look like I have kids? I shouldn’t be anyone’s father, Jesus. Twelve? I think? Thirteen, maybe. Kids. It’s a little kid thing.”

Twelve or thirteen whats?

“Years,” Eddie said. He made a turn, randomly, since he’d forgotten what he’d gone out for. Maybe it was a side effect of living as a symbiote host.

No, you always had a bad memory, Eddie. We want to go. We are barely six months on this planet. We are not too old.

“I don’t think you got born when you hit the earth.” Pretty sure it didn’t work that way.

No. We were born when we joined with you. We became something new. We are still growing and learning.

Sometimes, Eddie knew that he was going to win an argument with Venom.

And sometimes he knew when to just give up. He probably should have come to the conclusion earlier, because Venom and chocolate were one of those things that he just really… couldn’t win. One of these days, he promised himself, he would teach Venom about vegetables.

But today was not that day.

“All right.” Eddie walked over to the nearest trash can and pulled out a discarded bag from… oh, look, fancy. Bath and Bodyworks. It was even orange. Seasonal. Festive.

“Pretend to be a kid,” Eddie told him.

How do we do that?

“Like, when you feel the need to show off how bad your dental care is. Just, put feet on the ground, make a face, and hold my hand. And the bag. You have to hold the bag, too.”

Like this?

Okay, okay, Eddie had to give Venom full marks. That was the creepiest damn kid Eddie had ever seen. But in the half light, as the sun was setting, with a hundred other kids walking around screaming Trick-or-Treat at people, maybe no one would notice.

“This way,” Eddie pulled Venom along behind one of the groups of kids. “Hold out your bag and say trick-or-treat when they open the door.”

They actually got through a half-dozen houses (the candy didn’t last past the end of the sidewalk for any of the houses, but Eddie was expecting that) before Venom asked--

Eddie, what kind of tricks?

[garden-ghoul]

the bloggit, part 2

“sorry I had to do the converse. now taking hobbit blog name suggestions.”

ROAST MUTTON

Let me tell you, gentle reader. I had no idea what mutton was when I first read this book. I have never liked meat, but I think I assumed in this chapter that mutton was something really good so I like, imagined a meat that would be tolerable. Does mutton even appear in this?

Bilbo gets up and goes to the kitchen, where “the washing-up was so dismally real that Bilbo was forced to believe the party of the night before had not been part of his bad dreams.” I have a problem where sometimes I stop reading halfway through a sentence if I think it’s funnier that way, so I just read “the washing-up was so real” and was like “yeah same. isn’t it funny how Tolkien already mastered modern slang? just like he predicted texting. amazing, that.” Bilbo is both pleased and disappointed to realize that all the dwerrows have gone, but he decides it’s for the best. No sooner has he started whistling about it than Gandalf turns up to tell him off for not dusting the fucking mantelpiece instead of doing the massive pile of dishes he’s got. If you had DUSTED THE MANTELPIECE like any REASONABLE HOMEOWNER does EVERY MORNING, you would have found the note they left you!!

The note begins: 

Thorin and Company to Burglar Bilbo greeting!

Holy shit. I love this. It’s less pronounced in the rest of the letter, but I’m so jazzed about this weird syntax obviously a word-for-word translation from Khuzdul. The rest of it is a snide assurance that Bilbo will get precisely what he deserves, in the form of an outline of terms and services. Also get your ass over to the Green Dragon in ten minutes. Bilbo does so only because Gandalf is there breathing down his neck; I imagine that otherwise he would have stared at the letter and dithered until it was too late and the dwerrows had left.

We have the honour to remain Yours deeply Thorin & Co.

Yours deeply. More Khuzdul formalities. The good stuff. Please Tolkien, I beg you, tell me what precisely ‘yours deeply’ means! Does it have to do with sincerity? Is deepness correlated to politeness or status? WHAT?

Bilbo makes it to the Green Dragon at precisely the stroke of 11... but he has forgot his pocket handkerchief. His pockerchief. Guys It’s A Metaphor.

"Don't be precise," said Dwalin, "and don't worry! You will have to manage without pocket-handkerchiefs, and a good many other things, before you get to the journey's end. As for a hat, I have got a spare hood and cloak in my luggage."

Time to travel like a dwerrow! Anyway that’s very gracious of Dwalin, I feel. Seems like a nice guy. Wait Gandalf turns up after they’ve been riding for like 10 minutes and totally ruins the metaphor by bringing a bunch of spare pockerchiefs and Bilbo’s pipe. Bilbo thinks the adventure is really going all right so far! Staying at inns and whatnot. It stands in stark contrast to the beginning of Frodo’s journey, which aside from being dangerous, mysterious, and nerve-wracking was also given a great deal more narrative weight. I think The Hobbit is told in a much more episodic format than Lord of the Rings, kind of like “here is a series of adventures that happened to Bilbo on the way, one per chapter.”

The adventure grows less pleasant once they’re away from inns and it starts raining. That’s spring, dudes. Everyone is grumpy and tired and it’s wet and they can’t make a fire; Gandalf is missing; one of the ponies gets scared of nothing (or something??) and runs into the river and gets washed away along with a bunch of the food. Out of boredom and desperation the dwerrows decide to sneak up on what they think is a fire; they send Bilbo, since he as a hobbit is much much quieter than them. It’s trolls! They’re eating mutton and drinking alcoholic beverages, and and they have names like William and Bert. Why are they so relentlessly English.

Bilbo, the dumbass, tries to pick one of their pockets because he really wants to be that kind of guy. He is immediately caught. But it’s fine! The trolls start fighting over, uh, well, something, and Bilbo makes his escape. Unfortunately dwerrows are quite visible; Balin comes to try and rescue Bilbo, and the trolls see him. Into sacks with them! Thorin comes last, and tries to be intimidating, which I’m sure would work a lot better if he weren’t one tenth the trolls’ size. He gets caught too, but at least he fought. That’s our Oakenshield!

It says here that Gandalf is back, but he’s just watching. Bilbo isn’t a fighter and he’s terrified--what’s your excuse? Or maybe he’s the one doing troll voice imitations and inflaming their argument about how to eat the dwerrows. Ohhh Gandalf was stalling for time since it was nearly dawn. All right I can accept that that would be much easier on him.

The party goes to find the trolls’ cave and finds a bunch of good stuff inside: extra food and some swords and gold (which is buried with lots of spells. hey! tell me about dwerrow spells!). And we hear that the reason Gandalf came back from his scouting expedition is that he met some Rivendell elves who told him there were trolls about. And so!

A SHORT REST

One morning they forded a river at a wide shallow place full of the noise of stones and foam.

Hey I love this. The noise of stones, and foam. Also:

Hidden somewhere ahead of us is the fair valley of Rivendell where Elrond lives in the Last Homely House.

The Last Homely House. Tolkien’s mythology sounds really good here. Wonder who named it that, though! Is it sort of... the last dwelling of elves that is both homely and a house? I would expect it’s a name applied by travellers, though: the last sanctuary before wherever you happen to be going, since there’s nothing anywhere near it, really. There’s also a track marked with white stones around the edges, which is really good. More excellent landscape description that didn’t make it into Fellowship because of how desperate our heroes were at this point in their journey. I just realized that since Frodo entered Rivendell unconscious we never got a description of what it looked like, either.

It’s a valley largely full of trees and murmuring water, but a light can be seen, at twilight, on the other side. Bilbo thinks it smells like elves. And then it’s time for one of the most iconic songs Tolkien has ever written: a distant “tra-la-la-lally!” echoes to our heroes’ ears. As we know, dwerrows don’t get along with elves (elves make fun of them a lot, and generally do silly bullshit most of the time) but Thorin is as polite as he can be. Bilbo wants to stay and listen to the elves singing, but supper is more important for everyone else, so onward to Rivendell! They stay for two weeks, and nothing much happens except they gradually get less stressed and replenish their fat reserves. Elrond is mentioned as an ‘elf-friend,’ which is kind of a weird thing to say about him considering that half his family are elves, and he’s immortal?

Elrond tells them that the swords they looted from trollhaus were made in Gondolin! (for the goblin wars, which, idk, that probably describes most of the first age) And the swords have names, because of course they do. This is the source of Glamdring and Orcrist, now we know! Also Elrond looks at the map and identifies some Moons Runes  that say a special thing will show up on the mountain on Durin’s Day, which is an astronomical phenomenon the dwerrows haven’t been keeping careful track of, I guess? I can’t tell whether the fact that Durin’s Day is the start of the year actually has anything to do with the astronomical thing.

“We still call it Durin's Day when the last moon of Autumn and the sun are in the sky together. But this will not help us much, I fear, for it passes our skill in these days to guess when such a time will come again."

This seems pretty straightforward actually. The moon and the sun are in the sky together like, half the time the sun is up. All you need to know is when autumn ends and what the phase of the moon will be. Y’all have really let your calendar-keeping go.

[askkrenko]

Let’s talk about White Aligned Races

Art by Matt Stewart

Mark Rosewater recently said that the dwarven experiment in Kaladesh was not a big success. This comes from a long line of Wizards trying and failing to find a White characteristic race. Now, it’s certainly possible that Wizards of the Coast just happens to be repeatedly finding races that people don’t particularly resonate with, but I honestly think they’re missing an important part of what makes the other characteristic races characteristic races. If you’ll bear with me, I’d like to explain why goblins, merfolk, elves, and zombies are great, and why kor, kithkin, leonin, dwarves, and aven fail to get sufficient love.

Art by Jason Rainville

What Even Is a Kor Anyway?

One of the prime reasons Wizards tried Dwarves again is because people are familiar with Dwarves as a race. Like Merfolk, Zombies, Elves, and Goblins, they represent a frequently occurring fantasy race that needs no introduction. Contrariwise, Kor, Leonin, Aven, and Kithkin all represent major unknowns.  While Leonin are pretty clearly lion people and Aven are bird people, it’s not clear at all what a Kor or Kithkin is. Further, ‘lion people’ doesn’t really tell us anything. It shows us physiological differences, but not only do we not know how far that goes, (Are Leonin strict carnivores? Do they clean themselves with their tongues?) we don’t know anything about the culture except for what the cards show us. This means a player cannot look at a card and instantly understand a Leonin in the way that matters to them. Kor are even worse. I would bet you that the significant majority of players does not know the difference between a Kor and a Human outside of the Kor having white skin.

Wizards seems to believe this is one of the major problems with getting a characteristic race to be popular, and they thought that using Dwarves instead would solve this problem. This is an understandable theory, but it fails to understand why the characteristic races that already exist are so popular. Having Dwarves makes someone more willing to engage, I will agree, but it’s then a question of what one does with the Dwarves that matter. Kaladesh failed to use its Dwarves in the same way that Wizards has consistently been failing to use Kor and Leonin.

Art by Thomas M. Baxa

You Keep Using That Word. I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means.

Zombies, Elves, and Goblins are the commonly used characteristic races of their associated colors. In this sense, they are called Characteristic because those creature types are common Characteristics of cards of that color. I believe this to be backwards. I instead believe Zombies, Elves and Goblins are characteristic races because they have characteristics that show off their color, something the white races continually fail at.

Did you know that Goblins have one of the highest ratios of creatures with Haste among all creature types, even surpassing dragons? A better question would be, are you surprised? Haste is the most red ability in the game, so of course the red race is going to have a larger than average percentage of it. Similarly, a significant portion of Elves grant mana, and a full third of all Zombie cards reference the graveyard. The ratio itself isn’t wholly important, but what is important is that these races have traits that people associate with them and also associate with playing a deck of their color. If I was to tell you that the future set “Kamigawa Cross” had the makings of a Goblin deck, you would not need to ask any further questions to know that I meant an aggressive red deck involving a lot of cheap and fast creatures. If I told you that “Zendikar: We promise this one’s better” had an elf deck, you’d expect creatures that rapidly accelerate your mana, followed by some sort of reward for going wide.

Where do the white races stand on this? They have a few false starts, most of which made worse by the fact that there’s so many white races. Certainly, Leonin and Kor both have a larger percentage of cards referencing Equipment than anyone else, Leonin are rather high on the life gain, and all Aven fly, but until Wizards provides the tools to make a deck using that creature type and their strategy, it’s not going to work. I’m not claiming this deck has to be good. That’d be silly. I’m merely saying they need to have some sort of consistent strategy. This isn’t an unreasonable request. While Dwarves were split between two mechanics intrinsically tied to the plane, another race showed up and made it clear what they were about.

Art by Luis Lasahido

They’re Elementals, Damnit! Elementals!

In sixteen cards, the Aetherborn have three dies triggers, two revolt triggers, and four sacrifice outlets, plus Weaponcraft Enthusiast to feed them. It’s very clear that the purpose of Aetherborn is to lose your stuff all the time. It’s unique, it’s inherently black, and it’s communicated clearly through just a small number of cards. Even better, Aetherborn manage to be uniquely black in a way that black’s preexisting characteristic races aren’t. While zombies regularly return from the dead, Aetherborn instead reward you for killing them. Vampires, meanwhile, are getting +1/+1 counters and gaining life. While Aetherborn use +1/+1 counters, only the Aetherborn Vampire does so in a way consistent with other vampires. Certainly, this doesn’t apply to every last Aetherborn, but looking at the entire sampling of Aetherborn makes it clear not just what they do as a strategy but also how they differ from the other black races.

None of the attempts at white races have been afforded this. Leonin and Kor have both had equipment focuses, but so have other white creatures in the same set. While five of Mirrodin’s thirteen Leonin cared about equipment, so did four white Humans and one Loxodon. Kaladesh had four Dwarf Pilots, but also four Human Pilots.

People seem to like Aetherborn, and while that’s certainly in no small part thanks to the writings of Alison Luhrs, it certainly doesn’t hurt that they’ve got a clear enough mechanical identity that people want to build Aetherborn decks. Few have ever built Leonin or Kor decks, and those who want to build dwarf decks, in standard at least, have to rely on vehicles or revolt. Dwarves focusing on vehicles isn’t inherently a bad thing in a vacuum, but it does make them less interesting in Kaladesh. Dwarves focusing on getting bonuses for your other Dwarves dying is a much weirder issue. It honestly makes no sense and would be an odd choice for Dwarves going forward. Of course, vehicles can’t be a choice for Dwarves going forward at all if they’re not made evergreen.

Art by Chris Rahn

Lost In Your Element

Wizards decided that due to the focus on artificing, Kaladesh would be a great world to bring back Dwarves. My personal belief is that due to the focus on artificing, Kaladesh was one of the worst possible worlds to bring back dwarves. Even if every dwarf in Kaladesh had somehow referenced artifacts, so does basically everything in Kaladesh. Dwarves are lost in the crowd. Contrariwise, imagine a few Dwarves on Tarkir. The Dwarves in question might give artifact creatures +1/+1 or pump out 1/1 artifact creatures. Either way, they’d suddenly be interesting. Further, on a more diverse world like Tarkir, the dwarves would be able to dress and style themselves differently than the humans, allowing them to be visually distinct. Consider this: If one were to have a group of birds that also included a bat, it would be a weird hairy thing. If one were to have a group of small mammals that also included a bat, it would be the thing that flies. On Kaladesh, Dwarves are just weird and hairy. On any other plane, they could be the artificers.

Similarly, any White characteristic race that wants to make its mark needs to do so by showing how it’s different from the humans around it. Leonin have never done this. Kor have never done this. Dwarves certainly didn’t do this. Aven are alright. Good job, Aven. A shame the fact that all Aven fly mean that they make a poor characteristic race.

Art by Svetlin Velinov

Carving a Niche

Ultimately, for a characteristic race to be interesting, it needs to carve out its own niche. It may be very difficult to do this going forward with pre-existing races, but assigning each of the white races to a certain playstyle would go a long way. Further, this would allow multiple races of the same color to appear on the same world while acting differently, much in the way that vampires and zombies have done for years. This would mean deciding what race went on a future world would be as much a question of what’s mechanically desirable as what’s aesthetically desirable, but as much as my fellow Vorthoses will object, Magic’s worldbuilding needs to be subservient to making a good game. What follows is a simple thought experiment.

Dwarves, traditionally, are miners and artificers. Dwarf cards could, at a rate of about 1:4, care about artifact cards, including vehicles and equipment. Some might make artifact creature tokens, some might search for equipment, some might reward crewing vehicles. Further, they could have a higher than average rate of Vigilance and tend toward higher toughness than power.

Kor are nimble and fast, and their designs should reward this. The Kor cards in the past have cared about equipment, and they could have a sharper focus on this then dwarves (who’d care about all artifacts.) First Strike could be their primary keyword, and their ropes and hooks could be used to tap down enemy creatures. Kor could be aggressive and fast, with various forms of evasion (can’t be blocked by colorless creatures, flying until end of turn, etc.) Unlike dwarves, they could often have higher power than toughness (though not so high as to get into red territory. 3/1s are fine. 5/2 is too much.)

Leonin seem big and scary, but they’re basically all nice people. Leonin could have a focus on defensive powers (not just high toughness like dwarves) and life gain. They might have slow growth like Ajani’s Pridemate or merely try and prevent your opponent from doing things like Leonin Arbiter.

Obviously, this is not a fully explored idea, but the goal is simple: define the races. Only by defining races will people be able to properly care about them. After all, there is no love without understanding, so none can love the Dwarves without understanding what these Dwarves are. After all, it’s not the word Dwarf that fans desire, but the specifics of what a Dwarf is and, most importantly, what makes them unique.

In summation: a white characteristic race will never catch on until it has a clear mechanical identity that makes a creature being that type more interesting, or at least differently interesting, than having the creature type ‘human.’

[gokinjeespot]

Monday, January 16, 2017

 We had a beautiful sunny weekend here in Ottawa and the Rideau Canal Skateway opened for the first time this winter. I went for a walk in the sun and then finished up the first volume of the two volume Strangers in Paradise Omnibus by Terry Moore which my partner Chris let me borrow. I read the story as floppies but it was very nice to re-read the story about the volcanic relationship between Francine and Katchoo again. I highly recommend any comic book that Terry does.

 Scarlet Witch #14 - James Robinson (writer) Shawn Crystal (art) Chris Brunner (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). Wanda's journey along the Witch's Road finally comes to an end with the expected result of witchcraft being cured. It's neat that Shawn's art pays homage to Steve Ditko's Doctor Strange dimensional vistas but why is Agatha Harkness young looking now?

 Unworthy Thor #3 - Jason Aaron (writer) Kim Jacinto & Olivier Coipel (art) Matthew Wilson (colours) VC's Joe Sabino (letters). The Collector's hammer is being sought by many. The Odinson wants it and so does Thanos. My money is on U-Thor and his companions getting their hands on it in the end.

 Amazing Spider-Man Renew Your Vows #3 - Gerry Conway (writer) Ryan Stegman (art) Sonia Oback (colours) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). This issue features Anna May Parker in and out of costume. Gerry must watch a lot of Nickelodeon to make his kids sound so authentic. Annie is young, foolish and hot-headed which makes for some interesting situations. This is a fun book that I think more fans should be reading.

 Justice League/Power Rangers #1 - Tom Taylor (writer) Stephen Byrne (art & colours) Deron Bennett (letters). I don't read either of these teams' comic books but I like Tom's writing so I picked this up to see what he could do with these characters. I have no clue what the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers are about but they seem like a decent bunch. The story is pretty basic with an accidental interdimensional hop including a super villain. If you like the Batman and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle team up you'll enjoy this too.

 Moonshine #4 - Brian Azzarello (writer) Eduardo Risso (art & colours) Jared H. Fletcher (letters). If the creature doesn't make you howl then Tempest will by the time you get to the end of this issue. I did not see that coming.

 Daredevil #15 - Charles Soule (writer) Goran Sudzuka (art) Matt Milla (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). Here's something else I did not see coming. We have the return of one of Daredevil's arch enemies back from the dead. At least I think they died. It's hard to keep track.

 Action Comics #971 - Dan Jurgens (writer) Stephen Segovia (pencils) Art Thibert (inks) Arif Prianto (colours) Rob Leigh (letters). The trial of Lex Luthor takes a surprising turn and he and Superman are still not home free. Meanwhile back home, Lois and Jon are caught in a place where they shouldn't be by Clark Kent. It's going to be fun to see how mom and son explain their trespass.

 Groo: Fray of the Gods #4 - Sergio Aragones & Mark Evanier (writers) Sergio Aragones (art) Tom Luth (colours) Stan Sakai (letters). It's always distracting whenever the Minstrel appears in a Groo comic book because of the ever changing end of his instrument. This mini ends with much dining and fraying for Groo but the gods don't actually fight throughout this story. Oh well, what do you expect from a Groo comic?

 Uncanny Avengers #19 - Gerry Duggan (writer) Pepe Larraz with Rodrigo Zayas (art) Dono Sanchez Almara (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). Looks like the Red Skull has this team in his complete control but there is one hero left to come to the rescue. It's Gerry's homeboy Deadpool. Wade can't do it all alone so it's team up time. I like who he rustles up to help save the day.

 Wonder Woman #14 - Greg Rucka (writer) Nicola Scott (art) Romulo Fajardo Jr. (colours) Jodi Wynne (letters). This issue concludes "Year One" with a battle between Diana and Ares the God of War. One must suspend belief that Diana can fly all around the world carry Steve Trevor to stop the poison gas from being deployed. Maybe she got help from Santa Claus. I felt a little let down by Greg with that miracle move, but otherwise this story has been pretty good. Good enough for me to keep reading now that the first two storylines have ended.

 Red Sonja #1 - Amy Chu (writer) Carlos Gomez (art) Mohan (colours) Simon Bowland (letters). I hope you read the twenty-five cent #0 or you will be wondering how Sonja ends up in modern Manhattan. Amy solves the problem of Sonja speaking ancient Hyrkanian by introducing a handsome young police officer who sort of understands the language. This is quite similar to the Rebirth Wonder Woman book but different enough that a long time fan  like me still finds it worth reading.

 Occupy Avengers #3 - David F. Walker (writer) Carlos Pacheco (pencils) Rafael Fonteriz (inks) Sonia Oback with Wil Quintana (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). I'm not a fan of the title. I think comic book buyers have Avengers fatigue and would be more likely to buy this book if it was called Marvel Team-Up starring Hawkeye. I am enjoying it so far and would recommend it. Here we have Hawkeye and Red Wolf getting help from Nighthawk and his sidekick Deadly Nightshade to track down some shady cybernetics in Chicago. There are some surprise appearances at the end of this issue but they do make sense when you consider the evidence that Hawkeye brings to the search. Next issue should have some wahoo fun.

 Detective Comics #948 - James Tynion IV & Marguerite Bennett (writers) Ben Oliver (art) Marilyn Patrizio (letters). Batwoman Begins part one. This is a good primer to read before Kate's own book hits the racks next month. I hope DC doesn't screw it up again.

 Dr. Strange/The Punisher: Magic Bullets #2 - John Barber (writer) Jason Muhr (storyboards) Andrea Broccardo & Dominike "Domo" Stanton (art) Andres Mossa (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). I like Stephen and Frank and thought that the two of them teaming up would be fun but this story is turning into an unbelievable magical mystery tour with bad art. Shoot me now.

 Hal Jordan and the Green Lantern Corps #12 - Robert Venditti (writer) Ethan Van Sciver (art) Jason Wright (colours) Dave Sharpe (letters). Green and Yellow Lantern Corps combine to crush the Orange Corp. Larfleeze even helps. Ethan draws the best aliens.

 Jessica Jones #4 - Brian Michael Bendis (writer) Michael Gaydos (art) Matt Hollingsworth (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). The meeting with Captain Marvel explains a lot and made me decide to stick with this. I really hope Luke and Jessica's marriage doesn't suffer from what Jess has to do.

 Totally Awesome Hulk #14 - Greg Pak (writer) German Peralta (art) Jay David Ramos & Dono Sanchez Almara (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). The two part team up with Jeremy Lin ends, thank Thor. This one is great for the kiddies but I found it to be a bit silly.

 Ms. Marvel #14 - G. Willow Wilson (writer) Takeshi Miyazawa (art) Ian Herring (colours) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). The World of Battlecraft fight to start off this issue was fun. Now that Bruno's gone (I miss him), Kamala has to figure out stuff on her own. Someone is stalking her but we don't know if he's good or evil. I'm guessing evil since he looks like the Green Goblin.

 Spider-Man/Deadpool #13 - Joe Kelly (writer) Ed McGuinness (pencils) Mark Morales, John Dell & Ed McGuinness (inks) Jason Keith (colours) VC's Joe Sabino (letters). It's an adventure in Weirdworld as the two heroes recover from their fight with Itsy Bitsy. I really like Joe's version of Wade with the soupcon of humanity.

 Guardians of the Galaxy #16 - Brian Michael Bendis (writer) Valerio Schiti (art) Richard Isanove (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). This issue is one long poem featuring everyone's favourite sentient one phrase tree. He is Groot. Some of the verses made my brain cringe however. I hope this isn't the last issue that Brian writes because I would hate to see his run end on a dissatisfying note.

 Justice League vs. Suicide Squad #4 - Joshua Williamson (writer) Fernando Pasarin (pencils) Matt Ryan (inks) Alex Sinclair with Jeremiah Skipper (colours) Rob Leigh (letters). Max Lord and his team of super villains break into Belle Reve Penitentiary to get the thing that he needs to take over the world. We haven't seen this artefact since that special cover from 1992. I wish I can remember how they beat that bad guy 25 years ago then I wouldn't have to read the last 2 issues of this mini.

 Inhumans vs. X-Men 2 - Jeff Lemire & Charles Soule (writers) Leinil Francis Yu (pencils) Gerry Alanguilan (inks) David Curiel (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). This war of the genetically enhanced seems to be contrived given what the Mutants' objective is in attacking Attilan, the home of the Inhumans. They couldn't just ask? I'm reading this because I love Leinil's art and it's still pretty exciting. Plus you never know what shocking "deaths" will claim the life of  some characters.

 Mighty Thor #15 - Jason Aaron (writer) Russell Dauterman (art) Matthew Wilson (colours) VC's Joe Sabino (letters). The Asgard/Shi'Ar War starts here. Don't know why the Shi'Ar are all up in arms but I'm sure we'll find out. Russell is back drawing the whole issue and that makes me very happy. Judging from the cover the Unworthy Thor could be involved and that makes me excited.

 Spider-Man #12 - Brian Michael Bendis (writer) Sara Pichelli (art) Gaetano Carlucci (inking assist) Justin Ponsor (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). It's interdimensional adventure time. Miles goes to another dimension to rescue his dad. There he meets Spider-Gwen as depicted on the cover. The kissy face must come later because this issue is all set up. This story crosses over with Spider-Gwen #16 and I like Miles so much that I will actually read that issue to see what happens next.

 All-New Wolverine #16 - Tom Taylor (writer) Nik Virella (art) Michael Garland (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). Laura's current predicament in Madripoor seems simple and boring until you get to the last page and BOOM, someone comes out of left field. Things just got less boring.