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#but i need to take mav out
delphi-dreamin · 2 years
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Ugh...gotta love being sick (not).
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Hangman says weird shit when he gets nervous
As in, he overshares when he gets nervous and isn’t sure what to say, sometimes it’s just trauma dumping and sometimes it’s sexual and sometimes it’s just… idk weird
He usually has it under control, the pressure of his job is not the thing that gets him, it’s the stress of his life outside of work
Example 1:
Ice: nice to meet you, Jake
Hangman: pleasure’s all mine sir, you have a beautiful house, you know, I used to live in a house just like this before my dad kicked me out and disowned me
Ice:
Hangman: sorry
Example 2:
Coyote: so?
Hangman: so what?
Coyote: did you tell him?
Hangman: I told him that I can’t stand him and that I want to **** his **** and then have him **** me until I can’t breath and hopefully until he can’t speak
Coyote:
Coyote: instead of… I love you?
Hangman: I got nervous ._.
Example 3:
Rooster: are you sure you’re ok?
Hangman: of course, it’s just a funeral, haven’t even seen the man in more than a decade
Rooster: yeah but he’s still your dad, you’re allowed to be upset
Hangman: hmm
Hangman: hey, did you know that like 1% of people get buried alive?
Rooster: I didn’t know that
Rooster: ready to go?
Hangman, taking his hand: hopefully he won’t wake up mid ceremony
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simpforrooster · 10 months
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actually, it’s captain.
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Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x f!reader
summary: request for @kpopgirlbtssvt. rooster’s girl is hit on by Top Gun students.
t/w: touch her, you d i e trope. cursing. mentions of alcohol.
Rooster leans against the bar, laughing at something Penny tells him. His jeans hang low on his hips, and he’s wearing the Hawaiian shirt you bought him for his birthday.
Rooster’s hand slaps the bar as he continues to howl. Penny and Mav exchange a look. Maverick murmurs something to Penny. Your guess would be “it wasn’t that funny.”
You throw back the rest of your drink. As your glass returns to the table, a group of men circle you, all clad in khaki. Must be new Top Gun recruits.
“What’s a pretty little gal like you sittin’ here alone for?” one of them asks you, his accent very similar to Hangman’s.
“Mind if we join ya?” the second asks. Before you can reply, two of the slide in across from you, while the one who spoke first sits next to you. His burly arm comes up around your shoulder. You stiffen under him, feeling small.
And not in the way you feel with Rooster. He makes you feel small, protected, but also empowered. This guy has a hold on you like he’s claiming you. Telling every other guy in the bar he plans on taking you home.
“This here’s Crane and Sorry,” he points to the two in front of you. “And you can call me Pleasure. As in, it’s a pleasure to meet you. As in, the way all ladies feel after a night with me.” He winks. He actually winks.
Your brain is so shocked, you can’t form words. You should take this guy’s arm and bend it behind your back, the way your dad taught you. You should give him on of your grade-a verbal lashings.
But you don’t. The sheer audacity of this man has you frozen.
You try to make eye contact with Rooster, but Pleasure’s frame blocks your view.
“Get your hands off my girlfriend, asshole.” Rooster’s voice makes a relieved breath come from your mouth. His tone of voice would make anyone run for the hills, but it leaves you full of wanting.
Pleasure chuckles, meeting Rooster’s gaze. “Actually, it’s Lieutenant.”
Crane and Sorry exchange an amused look. Rooster’s face is set in a hard line. He reaches for Pleasure’s bicep, ripping him from the booth.
“I said to get your hands off my girlfriend, asshole.” Rooster is a whole head taller than the aviator that just had himself draped on you.
“Shouldn’t leave your girl all alone, dick.” Pleasure tells him, bowing up. Rooster’s mouth pulls up on the left, giving him one of his infamous cocky smirks. Second only to Hangman’s.
“Actually, it’s Captain. And I hope to God you’re in one of my classes. Lieutenant.”
At this, you see Pleasure audibly gulp, knowing he’s fucked up. Rooster still has a death grip on his arm.
“Come on, man. Make my day,” the words come out laced with venom.
Before things can get out of hand, you hop out of the booth and high tail it to Penny. Quickly giving her a synopsis, she rings the bell, signaling these guys need to be thrown out. Hangman, Omaha, and Coyote each grab one of the guys and drag them to the exit.
Rooster joins you at the bar, taking your face in his hands. Those brown eyes roam over you, searching.
Your hands come up to cradle his face, “Roos, I’m fine.”
“When I saw him draped over you, I saw red. Nobody touches my girl.” He leans down to place a kiss against your temple. Rooster’s words have your toes curling in your shoes. You’ve never seen this side of him.
You lower your hands to his shoulders, threading one of them in his curly hair that’s definitely longer than Military regulation.
“You’re the only one I want touching me,” you murmur in his ear, your face flushing.
“Yeah?” he murmurs back.
Not trusting your voice to not come out completely needy, you nod.
“Come on, guys. Quit being disgusting,” Maverick says to the two of you, feigning gagging.
Penny pops his hand over the bar, eliciting a laugh from him.
Rooster ignores him, placing a deep kiss onto your mouth.
“Take me home, baby,” you say, taking in those brown eyes.
“I don’t know, pretty girl, I don’t think I can get further than the Bronco,” he winks.
masterlist.
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bo0tleg · 5 months
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One thing I like about Top Gun (1986) is how believable the development with Ice and Mav's dynamic is.
I've seen a lot of the "Rivals suddenly become buddies after traumatic event together" in media, but I don't think I've seen it done better than in Top Gun. Mostly, I attribute it to how much build up it has.
Most of the time, the 'Rivals' hate each others guts throughout the entire movie/series and then they go through an extremely traumatic event that binds them for life and shifts their entire concept of each other. Ice and Mav never once changed how they saw each other, it just changed their understanding of it.
Ice saw Maverick as dangerous and Mav saw Iceman as stuck-up and commanding. And they weren't wrong, by any means.
From the beginning, they have tension between them because of how different they are. And it ends up in the audience seeing Ice as the 'Antagonist' because that's how Mav sees it, and we're seeing it from his perspective as the protagonist. But Ice was never inherently wrong, in fact he was right.
Other than his first scene, Iceman always has a point in what he's saying. He's criticizing Mav, not insulting him. Sure, he does it in a brash way because masculinity, but he's not trying to insult him, he's trying to knock him down a peg and wake him up to reality. All Ice wants is that he starts to act as a team player, start caring about everybody's safety AND his own, rather than being reckless for the sake of being reckless. But Mav sees it as an insult because he can't process criticism in a healthy way (due to how he grew up). The same thing happened with Charlie, for the record.
And so the strife between the two begins. What I like about it is how it bleeds out of them over time, becoming more settled as the movie goes on. In the locker room "You're dangerous" scene, the tension is palpable. It's obvious they're agitated by each other, and feel the need to prove they're the correct one.
If you pay attention, this whole... demand for superiority goes away as time progresses. They're fine with each other's presence, it's not like they're constantly at each others throat all the time. In the shower scene, Ice dropped all of the aggression and competitiveness from his tone and is instead just laying out what he thinks. He's not undermining Maverick, he's not lecturing him like a child. Iceman is just telling Maverick exactly how he sees the situation in hopes that it would make him realize what the fuck he's doing, but with little hope that it'll actually work.
That doesn't mean Ice is always correct either, he doesn't understand why Mav acts the way he does, thus fails to take into consideration the emotional trauma behind it. Which only causes even more strife.
The entire time, Iceman isn't being a dick for the sake of it, he just wants Mav to stop being stupid (by his standards). And Maverick doesn't understand it because all he gets from what Ice says is insults.
Maverick isn't good at understanding what people mean to say if it's implied, you need to say it to his face. This is the reason he stayed quiet in the shower scene, because Ice finally laid everything out in simple words that he can understand without making it sound like a dick-measuring contest.
Thing is, the tension mellows out. At the beginning, you could see the tension and cut it with a knife. By the middle you can see them getting used to each other without jumping to constantly trade jabs (namely: the volleyball scene, it's just a bunch of guys being dudes, and the scene where Charlie says that Mav flew recklessly in front of the whole class, Ice doesn't comment on it in any way). Over time, they've settled down into their tension without needing to address it all the time.
Then Goose dies.
And the tension between them is still there.
Just because Goose isn't there anymore, doesn't mean their whole dynamic vanishes all of a sudden. You can see their hesitation towards each other (especially Ice), and that's great! It demonstrates that Goose dying doesn't magically resolve their problems with each other in solidarity.
Ice tried to give his consolations to Mav, and is awfully awkward about it. You can see on his face that he wants to say more, but doesn't because he knows it's not his place given their history. And not much is said, but a lot it communicated. (Val Kilmer is a killer actor for this, OH MY FUCKING GOD BLESS THAT MAN)
Even in the graduation scene you can see how out of their depts they really are with each other. A stilted congratulations, that was it. But they're trying, and that's what matters.
A scene I think gets overlooked a lot is the scene right before the Layton, where Ice expressed his worries about Mav to Stinger, and Mav heard him. Because I feel like that was a shift that was more drastic than the Layton itself for them.
What Ice was doing in that scene wasn't doubting Maverick's flying abilities, it was his mental health. Sure, he passed the psych eval, but that means next to jack shit when in a real combat situation so close after his backseater dying. And Ice might be worried that he's gonna be left hanging, but with the way he was speaking I'm more inclined to believe he was more worried about Maverick's wellbeing than himself. Ice almost looked resigned. He knew it was gonna get dismissed because that's the military for you, but he still wanted to try to vouch for Mav to stay groundside, if only to keep his mind at bay.
But Maverick heard him, and as usual, he read it as an insult. He wasn't wrong to assume Ice didn't believe him capable of flying the mission, which wouldn't be a lie, but failed to realize that he had more than one reason to want Maverick on the ground rather than in the air. And for the first time, Maverick believes him.
Up until this point, Mav dismissed all of Ice's so called 'insults' because he was certain in and of himself. But now he isn't anymore.
And it affects his performance in the air. I'm not saying he was as shitty as he was at the start of that combat because of what he overheard, but I am saying that it certainly didn't help matters in the slightest.
So their weird 'stepping-on-eggshells' situation is all over the place by that point. Because they started to care about each other despite not being what one would call proper friends yet. It's establishing a potential friendship by implying that 1. Ice cares about Mav's wellbeing and 2. Mav cares about what Ice thinks.
On the ground, they have the wingman exchange, and their suddenly buddy buddy. Thing is, it wasn't sudden at all.
They've been setting this up the entire fucking movie.
Going back to what I said at the beginning: Ice thinks Mav is dangerous and Mav thinks Ice is stuck-up and controlling. After the Layton, they still think those things because they weren't wrong to begin with. What changed was that instead of seeing it as something that pitted them against each other, it was seen as something that simply was about the other, and that there was no changing it. It could be good.
Mav being dangerous could be good and Ice being stuck-up and controlling could be good, because those were just traits of who they were. By the end of the movie they didn't change how they saw each other, just how they interpreted each other.
And it was built up during the entire fucking movie.
There was a reason to why they acted the way they did with each other because of the stilted interpretation they had of each other. From rivalry to friendship (and perhaps more later down the line), it's glaringly obvious throughout that it wasn't a sudden shift, it was exponential.
That's why I think it was so well developed, because you could see it coming.
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torchflies · 2 months
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Hi TG Fandom!
Time for some more sad Jake!
Hangman is the asshole archetype and while I love that for him, I want him to have a subset of people who see him as the opposite. 
So, I raise you — a Hangman who is raising his siblings. 
I’m talking about Fiona Gallagher from Shameless levels of raising — just with a little more success and in the swamps of the Texas-Louisiana border. 
I'm talking about a Jake who had a terrible childhood and knew how bad they were starting off in the world, so he planted his feet and shoved those kids in front of him to get them farther down the line of success than him.
A Jake who was raising two one-year-olds, a ten-year-old, an eight-year-old and a five-year-old alone at fifteen because the system failed them. 
He eventually joins the Navy to feed them because he's out of options. 
But he does the thing — he gets one into art school, one into nursing, one into professional ball and finishes up with two teenagers who never ever doubt if they have someone in their corner. Because the youngest two, the twins and only girls, had their Jake to teach them to shave and use menstrual products and put on makeup when they were ready and if they wanted.
He taught all of them how to love and be loved with none of the experience himself. 
I need a Jake who broke it off with Bradley because the kids came first and he was scared that Bradley would reject them and the prospect of an “instant family”. 
I just… I need it. 
I need a Jake who takes off to save Mav and Bradley even when he has everything to lose. 
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kyber-crystal · 9 months
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i will follow you into the dark || bradley "rooster" bradshaw
summary: your first instinct has always been to push people away when they get too close, but for some reason, you have trouble letting one pilot go. but little did you know that he had settled into your heart from the start and has no intention of leaving. (in which you have Bradley Bradshaw wrapped around your finger, and you don’t even notice—5 occasions that solidify your love for him, and 1 time you realize it)
words: ~3.3k
warnings: angst (BUT A HAPPY ENDING, I PROMISE), near-death experiences, brief mentions of violence, also my writing LMAO
a/n: hi guys i haven't posted a full-length fic in a LONG time but here we go :) this fic won the vote so it's going up first! hope you enjoy :)
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I. meet me in the middle
“Mav!”
You and Maverick turned around at the same time. “Which one?”
“The pretty one,” Rooster stated. 
“Be more specific.”
“I am being specific, Captain.”
“No, you aren’t.”
“Fine, I need your daughter.”
“You always need her for something.”
“Sorry, pops,” you grinned and clasped Maverick’s shoulder, and walked over to Bradley. “Come to kidnap me again, Bradshaw?”
“Actually, I’m hungry.”
“Then…go eat? I don’t see what any of that has to do with me.”
“I’m going to dinner, and I want you to come along,” he explained. “So, let’s go.”
“Is that why Cyclone was grumbling about someone spilling coffee all over him earlier? I knew it had to be you that put him in that mood.”
“Doesn’t matter. Come on.”
You looked back at your father, who simply laughed and motioned for you to go. The test flight would have to wait. 
It was 5:30 when you got there, but the usually-crowded cantina had only one other person inside. Rooster didn’t hesitate as he set down his car keys and slid into the booth right next to you.
“There’s a seat right there,” you pointed out. 
“And?”
“You can sit over there.”
“I don’t want to, though.”
“Alright, then.” 
You weren’t even done for the day and already, felt tired and worn out beyond belief. The one thing that had been keeping you going was Maverick’s promise to take you on a Mach 7 test flight. (With the Admiral’s permission, of course. But you wouldn’t be surprised if he had never asked.)
Rooster tells the waitress your order without blinking, and you give him a tired smile as a thank you. 
There’s no animated conversation, no loud comments or jokes or anything of the sort as the food comes out, but neither of you mind. Sometimes, all you needed to cool down from a long week was each other’s company and a steaming plate of fajitas. 
The little routine you’ve established falls into place so easily you don’t even have to think. Impromptu dinners, blasting 80’s music as the sun goes down, taking the offbeat path down to the coast with salt in your windswept hair.  Little to no words spoken, and somehow the silence speaks volumes.
But you don’t understand why he’d choose you to do this with, out of everyone. You’d expect him to drift towards someone less damaged. Someone who could keep up to his free and daring spirit and push him to his limits. Someone who had less baggage and didn’t flinch at every little touch. 
But despite all that he doesn’t leave. Even when everyone else around you seemed to, he was always there, assuring you he’d wait no matter what.
“Don’t worry about it.” He places a gentle hand over yours as he hands his card over to pay later that evening. “Let me treat you tonight.”
“Thanks…” 
He holds the door open for you as you walk out and keeps a ghost of a hand against your back the whole way to the car. You’re trying to burrow into yourself, but he doesn’t stop looking at you. The feeling of his eyes on you sends shivers running down your spine and you nervously shift in your seat. 
“You okay?” Rooster places his hand on the headrest as he reverses out of the parking lot. “You seem quiet tonight.”
“Yeah.”
“Okay.” He doesn’t press any further, assuming that you’re tired and that’s why you’re unwilling to say much. He knows. He understands. “If you ever need to talk, though, I’m one call and a 15 minute walk away. Or 7, if I sprint.”
This makes you laugh a bit. “If you say so.”
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II. waiting on you
As soon as you hop out of your plane, he’s the first one there to greet you and pulls you in for a hug. You have no time to react to it because he’s so quick to sweep you up into his arms. You can smell a mix of sweat and coffee and a little bit of raspberries on him, and it helps bring you back down to reality. 
“You saw me a few hours ago, Roos…please let me go…” you mumbled into his shoulder. His grip on you only tightens further. “What’s with the excitement?”
“Nothing. I’m just happy to see you.”
Not knowing what else to do, your hands awkwardly reach up to pat him on the back. “It’s good to see you, too.”
Though you don’t say it out loud, you’re also just as happy to see him—it’s comforting to know he’ll be waiting whenever you return from something. And that, you think, is more than enough. 
Rooster carries your things for you without asking, and you’re grateful because your shoulders feel like they’re going to fall out of their sockets. Once again, he’s standing close by as you go to your quarters, ever the watchman. If he doesn’t have a hand on you, then his eyes will stay glued to you for as long as they can be. 
“Is that my shirt?” he asks as you step out of the bathroom wearing an oversized vintage T-shirt and a pair of jeans. 
“No.”
“It looks better on you, anyway.” He smirks; you fail to notice the way his gaze lingers on you a bit longer than normal. “You ready to go? They’re waiting for us at the Hard Deck. Hangman’s complaining about a rematch or somethin’.”
You lean into his side and smile, and he puts an arm across your shoulders. It feels so natural that you almost don’t notice. “Yeah. Let’s go.”
His eyes never leave you, even when he’s in the thick of the game. It’s impossible to ignore the heat pooling in your stomach every time his gaze flickers over to yours. 
Coyote notices your dazed look and nudges Payback in the side. “How is it that everyone knows that Bradshaw and Y/N love each other except Bradshaw and Y/N?”
“Because they’re stupid,” Payback whispered back.
“Ah. Makes sense.”
“So, we need to do something about it.”
“Hm…I’d say we wait it out. They’re going in the right direction.” A small smile graced Coyote’s face as Rooster pumped a fist up in victory before rushing over to embrace you. “A room full of people, yet all he sees is her.”
“You’re so right, man.”
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III. rose-tinted glasses
“What are you looking for out there?” Rooster called out.
“Something pretty,” you replied as you stood by the ocean’s edge, the wind fanning your hair around your shoulders. He’s sure that he’s never seen a more mesmerizing sight. 
“I beat you to it, because I already found one,” he stated with confidence, eyes never leaving you.
“Where?”
“I’m looking right at her.”
“That’s not what I meant, silly. Do I look like a seashell to you?”
“No, you’re even better.”
You laugh once again and resume your search. Right then, a glowing scallop catches your eye, and sand dusts your clothes as you bend down to pick it up. It’s smooth and seems to glow in rose gold amidst the early evening light. 
“Would you look at that,” you breathed out, palm extended to show him what you’ve found. “It’s perfect.”
Rooster encloses his hand around yours, and you can feel the heat radiating from his skin. It’s cold out but you’re not freezing at all because he’s so close. He’s so close. Your heart skips a beat. 
“Wow…it sure is.”
He kneels down with you, and you spend the next few hours making it a competition to see who can find the most unique set of stones. A strange feeling washed over you as you watched his brows furrow in concentration. Never had you imagined to be spending Thursday night with Bradley Bradshaw by the seashore, and yet, it feels like you’ve done this thousands of times before. 
Everything seems to fall into place. 
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IV. for you, i’d cross the line 
“Y/N, hey.”
“Are you drunk?”
“Doesn’t matter. Move over.”
You shifted on the bench to make room for him and he sat down next to you. This was probably his tenth time playing his rendition of ‘Great Balls of Fire’ but that didn’t matter; the man knew how to sing. You found yourself leaning into him and listening to his heartbeat, and the sensation lulled you into a peaceful trance. 
You took one good look at your best friend. Sweat lined his forehead and his face was bright red from both the alcohol and heat, but still, you were 100% sure that you’d never seen a more beautiful sight in your life. 
The way he seemed to gaze at you made your heartbeat pick up speed. It didn’t matter that he had too one too many drinks in the moments leading up to this, nor did it matter that he was always one to be rather affectionate with you. It didn’t make you love him any less—if anything, it made him all the more endearing. 
“You’re looking at me very…intensely,” you mumbled. “It’s making me nervous.”
“Sorry, sweetheart,” he murmured. “A man can’t help it when he’s in love.”
“Was that tipsy you or sober you?”
“Sober me is saying I love you.” He continues playing, unfazed, and the sound of the piano in your ears fades away into nothingness. 
It’s drunk Rooster telling you he means what he says, the confidence boost making him do things he normally wouldn’t. It’s drunk Rooster attempting to serenade you as his warm, alcohol-riddled breath falls against your neck. It’s drunk Rooster talking…but there’s a sober truth hidden behind his words that sends a shiver down your spine. 
You’re nose-to-nose as he starts to sing, and you lose yourself in a sea of gold and blue as his warm thumb grazes over your cheek. As if there’s an invisible string drawing you together, you move closer and closer towards each other. Drunk or not, he was utterly enchanting and you couldn’t turn away.
Once again…you ignore the stirring feeling in your chest at the feeling of his body being so close to yours. 
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V. saving grace
You find yourself opening the door to Rooster, who has a bouquet of your favorite flowers and some large Tupperware in hand. Butterflies flutter in your stomach as you accept them and step aside to let him in. “What is this for…?”
“Thought you’d want something nice to add to the kitchen. You and Mav need to work on decorations,” he said. “Why? Do you not like them?”
“No…I’m…how’d you know these were my favorite, anyway?”
“I heard you talking on the phone to Phoenix about them six months ago,” Rooster explained, taking his jacket off and hanging it over the couch. “I pride myself on being observant like that. Also…I woke up early to cook you that pasta you always go nuts over when we drive to LA.”
“Oh.” Your heart twinged as you glanced over—that damn pasta was your favorite thing on the entire planet. You claimed that nobody could make it as well as the diner in Newport did, except Bradley himself. (He didn’t tell you how many times it took to get it just right, though. He didn’t want you freaking out over that. And besides, Maverick’s pots and pans that he borrowed had already paid the price.)
He paused for a moment after setting the container down on the counter. “I noticed you went home early today. Are you sure you’re alright?”
“I’m fine,” you lied as you put the flowers in a vase. But that was no use; he could see right through your monotone response. “Didn’t sleep enough last night.”
Bradley sees your hands tremble slightly. “Sweetheart.”
That’s all he needs to say before you step forward and lean your head against his chest. One arm finds its way around your waist to pull you close, while his free hand smoothes your hair out. A cracked sob escapes your lips and you squeeze your eyes shut in the hopes that if you kept them closed long enough and prayed hard enough, a guardian angel would swoop in and save you. 
“I’m here, it’s okay, you’ll be okay,” he murmurs. “You’ll be okay.”
“Please don’t go, Bradshaw,” you begged, voice hoarse. “Don’t leave me.”
“I’m right here, don’t worry,” he reminds you, his hand moving down to rub your back. “I’ll be here whenever you need me, I promise.” 
You reach your pinky out a bit, and the two of you link your fingers together. 
You’re never letting go, and neither is he. 
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epilogue—soul ties 
“I’m trying to shake them off. They won’t let up—shit, I’m hit—”
His panicked voice cuts through the buzz of static and you can feel your whole body go numb. What if he doesn’t make it back… The thought alone is too much to bear. 
He curses under his breath and you hear something like that of a whispered prayer and several mentions of Please let me come home to her. Your heart clenches in your chest and you feel like you’re going to puke. Noticing your sudden uneasiness, Maverick grips your hand to keep you steady. 
“Bradshaw, what the hell is going on there?” Coyote nervously rubs at his forehead as he looks up at the screen. “If you die, we’re all going to kill you.”
“Left engine’s completely blown out. I have two bogeys on my tail.”
You bite the inside of your cheek until the tangy, metallic taste of blood fills your mouth. This couldn’t be happening. There already was a ghost amongst the skies, and Rooster could not afford to become the second…
“Shit. Shit, shit, shit, I’m going down, guys—” Rooster curses again, and the earsplitting sound of a large blast interrupts him before he can say much else. 
“Bradley!” you shrieked as you watched his radar signal slowly fade off the screen. “No—”
Silence punctures the air and you finally lose balance, succumbing to the black void of nothingness. 
10 hours later, you sit outside the hospital room in the cold hallway, a thin, tear-stained blanket wrapped around your shoulders. Hangman and Phoenix had long since given up on getting you to move, so they took turns sitting with you. 
“You should try eating. There’s In-N-Out nearby, I’ll get something for you if you want,” Jake offered. 
You shake your head. 
“Come on. It’s been all day.”
“No.”
“You’re really that worried about him, aren’t you.”
“No,” you muttered bitterly. 
“You claim to not care, yet you’ve been sitting here for the past ten hours.” 
“I don’t care. This is me looking out for him in the same way any colleague or teammate of his would. This is what I’m supposed to do. What we’re all supposed to do.” 
“Y/N.” Jake sounds a bit more serious this time, and this makes you stop trying to bury yourself within your thoughts. “Listen to me.”
“What,” you exhaled.
"The fact of the matter here is,” he cleared this throat, “Bradshaw cares about you…a lot. Not in a simple and innocent ‘friendly’ way. And if you keep pushing him away like you always do, all 'cause you're scared, you're gonna lose him for good. Losing a good man out of fear is never worth the cost."
Your heart stops.
Every hug, every word and cheesy pickup line, every lingering glance and touch and intertwined set of fingers—he'd fallen first long ago, and pulled you down with him. But you let him, and you'll walk to the ends of the earth if it means he'll hold your hand along the way. And that's when everything hits all at once—the realization comes crashing down like a waterfall. 
You were hopelessly in love with him, the man who brings you flowers every Friday night. In love with the man who holds the door open for you, gives you his favorite jackets, and stays up late or wakes up early to learn your favorite comfort meal (even if it means failing 17 times in the process and ruining Maverick's kitchen), the man who serenades you to classic rock ballads with the taste of rum on his lips. 
This was Rooster Bradshaw, and he was your soulmate.
“But I already lost him,” your voice falters as you struggle to find the right words to say, “I can’t.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. That man is going to stay waiting for you until the day his body is buried six feet underground. Deny it all you want, but he’ll keep waiting long after he takes his last breath.”
You let out a long sigh and stood up. “Okay.”
You’re hesitant as you step inside the small hospital room. He’s asleep, but he must’ve sensed your presence and his eyes flutter open. 
“Sweetheart…”
“Bradley.” He moves over a bit for you, and you sit down next to him. “You’re alive.”
“Sorry for not dying. That must’ve disappointed you,” he jokes. If he’s in any sort of pain, he manages to mask it behind a soft smile. “I’m really glad you’re here.”
“I waited ten hours.”
“You should’ve gone home and slept.”
Closing your eyes, you rest your head against his chest. “I wouldn’t be able to sleep knowing that you weren’t okay.”
He hums some tune against the crook of your neck; lips brushing over your skin. “But I came back, like I promised. I’m okay, because you are.”
Helovesmehelovesmehelovesme.
As if he could read your mind, he leans in just that bit closer. You look up at him and your heart somersaults in your chest. 
When your lips meet, everything clicks into place and it’s like you finally found the missing puzzle piece you’d been searching for. He was here all along; it made so much sense. Everything else fades away into the background as you get lost in the feeling of him and him alone. You knew from the moment he stuck out his hand and told you with a million-dollar smile “I’m Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw, and I can make a mean lasagna or anything else you want,” that choosing him would be the single best thing you ever could’ve done. 
And you were most certainly right about that now. 
“I kept it, you know.” he murmurs as you eventually break away, “I didn’t think it would last as long as it did, but here it is.”
“What…what are you talking about?”
He fingers dip below the scoop of his T-shirt and he brings out the glittering charm, laying it in his hand. “You gave it to me ages ago. It was a while ago but I still remember the exact time and place. August 5th, 2010, 2:26 a.m. We were both on the verge of falling asleep.”
Your heart grows warmer. “Roos…”
Rooster opens the locket, and inside is a picture of you beaming as you wrapped your arms around him from behind. So young and so in love, but not yet knowing how you felt about each other. 
“I think this is what kept me alive up there. I was in the air long enough to think about and reflect on the fact that I was dying, but I knew I had to come home to you. I was dying, Y/N, but you saved me. If you didn’t come into my life right when you did then I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t be telling you that I love you.”
He has you at a loss for words yet again. It didn’t matter that you’d known each other for years because he would always find a way to steal your breath. The once-tiny caterpillars crawling in your stomach had morphed into giant butterflies that never stopped fluttering when he came too close.
He leans in and he’s kissing you again; this time it’s like you’re his sole source of oxygen and he’s in desperate need of fresh air. Your grip on his hand tightens as he deepens the kiss, and you pray to God that your heart won’t explode into a million pieces like it did when you thought you wouldn’t see him again. 
I’ve died and come back to life twice now, Rooster tells himself. 
And both of those times, you’re the angel that magically appears to save him from a certain, unfortunate fate. 
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tags, including people who may be interested (sorry if this list seems off, it hasn't been updated in a while hahah): @sarcastic-sourwolf @totomoshi @sebastianstangirl01 @purelyfiction @lunamoonbby @hazelgirl355 @multifandom-fangirl4 @paintballkid711 @buckysbeloved @lyn-lc @spawn0fsatan @milestomaverick @teacactusworld @cherry-waved @ellabellabus07 @vitanileon @lam-ila @criminalyetminimal @whatlovegattado @queenbbarnes @yeehawnana @t-stark35 @thesunsetphantoms @danirose-0420 @callalily2000 @the-untamed-soul @shizzybarnaclee @bananaa @luvfurdogs @shalaniela @unordinare @and-claudia @lgg5989 @katiemcrae @elenavampire21 @joyfullyswimmingface @nyx2021 @cosm1cfae @ellabellabus07 @vane28282 @bittergomez @littlebadariell @tallrock35 @whotfatemywaffles @hoedameronsworld @aerangi @julia-marshal @uwiuwi
(also if you filled out the general taglist form/top gun taglist form and you're not on here, that means i couldn't tag you for some reason)
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roosterforme · 7 months
Text
The Younger Kind Part 53 | Rooster x Reader
Summary: Bradley is surprised by what Maverick has to tell him, and he's not sure how to convey his mixed feelings to you. The urge to keep everything inside is strong, but you catch on right away and shut it down. In the end, he's not sure he has made the right decision.
Warnings: Swearing, angst, fluff, pregnancy topics, and age gap (18+)
Length: 4500 words
Pairing: Single dad!Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x babysitter!female reader
Check out my masterlist for more! The Younger Kind masterlist.
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There was something a bit ominous about the way Maverick said, "Rooster. We need to talk." 
Bradley followed him toward the tower immediately, getting more annoyed by the second. This was supposed to be an exciting day. You and Bradley had started telling people you were engaged. It was a shame that Casey was among the first to find out, but Bradley had expected Maverick of all people to remember his plans for the weekend. 
But Bradley didn't say a word until they were inside the tower in private. "She said yes, by the way," he told his godfather blandly. "I proposed after the air show."
Maverick grinned and pulled him in for a tight hug that Bradley barely returned. "That's wonderful. I was just about to ask, but I knew she would say yes." He slapped him on the back before releasing him. "So it's safe to tell Penny now?"
Bradley rolled his eyes and couldn't help but smile. "Yeah. It's safe. She can't ruin anything at this point."
Then Maverick's smile started to fade, and Bradley remembered exactly why he had followed him here to begin with. "We really do need to talk, Bradley, and I'm not sure you're going to want to hear this right now."
Bradley braced his hand on the wall next to him and asked, "Are you deploying me?"
"Not exactly," he replied as if he was trying to choose his words very carefully. 
But Bradley was so used to being spoiled right now, he didn't have the patience for this. He had you and Noah and now a baby and a wedding, too. "Just spit it out, Mav. Please."
He glanced around and cleared his throat, and Bradley's nerves just got worse when he finally spoke. "Your name came up behind closed doors. The admirals have you listed as a top selection for a training mission."
"What kind of training?" Bradley asked, wishing he would just get on with it.
Maverick's voice dropped lower as he said, "Sixth-generation fighters. Nothing that's available in the U.S. You'd be one of the first to fly them for tactical testing."
"You're joking," Bradley rasped, his body frozen as Maverick shook his head. 
"It's no joke. It's also optional. Not your traditional deployment. Nobody is going to force you to go this time. I can't supply you with many more details unless you give your verbal and written agreement to participate, but I can say that this would go a long way toward career advancement."
"Shit." 
You were pregnant. This was not the best time to leave for optional training. But six-generation technology was something he might never get to experience during his career unless he partook in this. It would be years, maybe even a decade, before Naval aviators were flying these jets off of carriers for real missions. He knew exactly what this meant. He could be among the very first to take them up in the air, and his flight details could help shape the way these jets were eventually distributed to the United States and used by the military. "Jesus, Mav."
He nodded in response. "I know the timing isn't ideal for you and your family, but it's something you should seriously consider. Go home and talk to your fiancée about it, and if you decide you want to be included in the meeting on Thursday, let me know."
"Right," Bradley muttered. "Am I dismissed?"
"Yeah. Head home. I'll see you tomorrow."
Bradley should have gone directly home and waited for you and Noah to arrive, but instead he took his time in the locker room. He tried to imagine what it would be like to leave you for a few weeks or months while you were pregnant, but it made him feel too uncomfortable. He could turn the opportunity down without even mentioning it to you. That actually sounded like a pretty good plan. 
While he showered and got changed, he felt guilty in a different way. He didn't want to hide this from you even though all he wanted to do was protect you. And part of him really wanted to fly these prototype jets. If he did, he could leave a lasting impression on the future of Naval aviation even after he was done spending time in the cockpit.
"Fuck," he muttered as he packed all of his things up for the day and headed outside to his Bronco. It was actually pretty late now, and there was no doubt you were at home with Noah, probably making dinner. But Bradley took a detour to the coffee shop first, and then he stood there like an idiot for a few seconds, because he wasn't sure if you were still supposed to have caffeine or not. 
He ended up ordering the decaf version of your favorite drink. Then he asked the barista to borrow a sharpie, and he wrote something new on the cup this time. He stuffed a few dollars into the tip jar and headed home, still completely undecided about what he wanted to do.
---------------------------
Noah was his usual adorable self, and you wanted to be having a good day, but you were exhausted from work and Casey. Dinner was in the oven, and you were taking the time to carefully cut apples into peanut butter snails for Noah to have as his dessert, but Bradley wasn't even home yet. 
You were looking forward to getting changed out of your wrinkled scrubs and taking a long shower, which would be much easier to do if he were here. Everything was easier with him around. You started planning a trip to Disneyland on your phone while dinner cooked, but you wanted to run it past him before you booked anything. You smiled softly, knowing Bradley would tell you to put it on your princess card before thanking you for planning the next family vacation. But you had your first doctor's appointment coming up and thought it was better to go to Disneyland after that. But October was looking promising.
When you heard the front door open, and Skittles scampered into the living room, you felt your body sag against the counter in relief. "Daddy's home," you told Noah, and he pushed his new dinosaur coloring book aside and followed after Skittles. You brought up the rear, but that just meant that you'd get the longest hug from Bradley when it was your turn. 
"Come here, Mrs. Bradshaw," he rasped after he set Noah and Skittles down, and you were tucked in his embrace with your nose buried against him immediately. It was obvious that he was tired and hungry, but he didn't rush anything. He just held you like his life depended on it. Soft kisses teased along your forehead and temple as he whispered, "I brought you some coffee."
Then you noticed the cup he had set down on the TV stand, and you rubbed your cheek against his chest as you read it. "That's adorable, Daddy." He had scrawled Princess +1 on the cup this time, and it made your face feel warm. "But I think I need to cut back on my caffeine consumption."
"It's decaf, Princess" he whispered, his lips and mustache brushing the shell of your ear. 
The soft moan that left your lips had him chuckling as you said, "The baby and I thank you." Then you ditched his arms in favor of the coffee cup. When the kitchen timer went off, you kept your eyes on Bradley as you walked backwards away from him. "After Noah goes to bed, I want to talk about something important. It rhymes with Tisneyland. I thought we could go next month. After I talk to my doctor, of course."
He winced for a split second, but it would have been impossible to miss. Okay. You thought he made it clear he wanted to go on another family trip. Maybe he changed his mind. "Shit," he whispered, swallowing hard. "We can... we can go. No problem. Whenever you want."
The timer was still buzzing, otherwise you would have pressed the issue. Without another word you turned toward the kitchen and grabbed the oven mitts so you could get dinner on the table. But Bradley was acting strange. He even seemed more subdued with Noah which had you worried. 
"What happened at work?" you asked, sliding a plate of dinner in front of him. 
He shrugged. "Just a regular day. But I did tell Nat we're engaged." At least he smiled when he said that, and then he reached for you, looking up at you as you stood next to him. "Hey, I can't wait to go to Tisneyland with you."
You couldn't help but laugh, but you said, "We don't have to go in October. We can go next year or never. I just thought it was something you wanted to do."
"Book it," he said, squeezing your hip before dropping his hand. "I'll request a day off as soon as you book it after your appointment. We can take a long weekend."
Something was wrong, and you couldn't place it. But his eyes were clouded with doubt and your stomach soured so much, you could barely eat your own dinner. This didn't feel like the sweet man who agreed to go to daycare drop off with you this morning simply because you didn't want to go alone. When you offered to get Noah ready for bed, he agreed without really paying any attention to your words. 
"Come here, Sweet Noah," you whispered after Bradley kissed him goodnight, clearly distracted. You got him into his pajamas and got his teeth brushed, and like usual, he was yawning before his head even hit the pillow. You started to read him the book about farm animals that you picked out a few months ago with Bradley, and even though he was sound asleep by page two, you finished reading it just to have a few extra minutes with him. 
Eventually you found Bradley sitting on the couch with Skittles on his lap. When you leaned against the doorway, he held his hand out to coax you forward. "You didn't tell me about your day," he said softly. 
"I tried to during dinner, but it's like you weren't even there," you bit back, not moving an inch. "What's wrong? You change your mind about getting married?" you asked, holding up your left hand and spinning the ring loose with your fingers. "Or about the baby?"
Now he was up off the couch in an instant, Skittles looking rather alarmed by his sudden movement. "Hey," Bradley snarled, pulling you against him with his left hand and using his right fingers to push your ring back into place. "Don't say that. It's never going to happen."
"Then what's wrong?" you asked, giving him no room to continue to be vague and weird with you. "Just tell me."
"You gonna keep that ring on?" he asked, and you saw a flash of everything you loved so much about him in his eyes.
You pressed up onto your toes and kissed him. "Yes," you whispered before kissing him again and again. "I'll keep it on. Just tell me what's wrong."
He pulled you toward the couch, and after he sat, you straddled his lap while Skittles curled up on the cushion next to you. "Nothing's wrong," he whispered, his big hands sliding down your hips to your thighs, stroking you through the thin fabric of your pants. He was staring at your name where it was embroidered on your scrub shirt instead of meeting your eyes. "Earlier today, Maverick told me about something... interesting."
"Go on," you whispered, raking your fingers through his soft hair. "I already know something's bothering you, so just say it, Daddy."
He nodded slightly and kissed your forearm before he finally met your gaze. "It sounds like there's a brand new fleet of aircrafts with technology updates that have never been flown by American pilots before. I'm on a short list of aviators who have been invited to train on these jets overseas, most likely in the hopes that the Navy will adopt these planes in the future."
You nibbled on your lip and considered his words. "So, it's kind of like a deployment?" you asked, still dragging your fingers through his hair as you scooted a little closer. 
"Sort of," he said softly. "But it's optional. And I'm going to tell Mav I don't want to go. I'll be here, okay? We can go to Disneyland next month."
You studied his handsome face, and while he looked more relaxed now that he told you what Maverick said, you knew that wasn't the end of it. You pieced it together in your mind and leaned the rest of the way to his lips. He accepted your kiss as he rubbed his hands slowly along your thighs. You hummed and let your forehead rest against his. 
Your voice was calm as you asked, "But you do want to go, don't you?"
He remained quiet, but he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you so your body was flush against his and your cheek was resting on his shoulder. You relaxed against the steady rise and fall of his chest and the soothing beating of his heart. 
When he finally spoke, his voice was gravelly and deep, and it made you shiver. "The last thing I want is to be away from you and Noah and the baby. I don't want you under the impression that those thoughts are on my mind, okay? That's not what this is."
"I believe you, Bradley," you whispered against his neck. "But this sounds like a big deal. You made the list? Over so many other people? They chose you to try something brand new?"
His voice was a little more forceful as he said, "I do not want to leave you alone right now. It wouldn't be fair."
You kissed your way up his neck until your lips found his earlobe, and you kissed him there, too. You inhaled the smell of his shampoo as you said, "I love you, and I want to support you as much as you support me. If you want to do this, then I think you should."
There was no denying that you felt safer and more loved when you were with Bradley than you ever had before. But this was his career, and it sounded like he had a chance to be part of something huge. 
"You're right, Baby. I do want to go."
You nodded as he held you. "Do you have any other details?"
"No. There's a meeting on Thursday that I can sit in on if I let Mav know I'm interested, but I doubt I'll get a ton of information short of a departure date and maybe a location unless I sign on for this thing."
You kissed his cheek and pulled away so you could look at his face. "Next time, just tell me what's on your mind instead of trying to make an important decision without me."
"I'm sorry," he whispered, reaching for your left hand and kissing your palm and the spot where the band of your engagement ring wrapped around your finger. "But next time, don't even pretend like you're taking this thing off."
"I won't."
--------------------------
Somehow Bradley made it all the way to the meeting on Thursday, his curiosity piqued. When he found out where the meeting was being held, he was even more surprised. 
"Come to Admiral Simpson's office promptly at one o'clock," Maverick told him, and Bradley silently thanked you for clearing things up with Cyclone the way you had. There was no way his name would have made it onto any list if you didn't send the man a glass of bourbon at Warlock's retirement party. 
"I'll be there," he promised. And if he was surprised by the location, he was even more surprised when he showed up to find Cyclone and Maverick waiting for him and him alone. 
"Sir?" Bradley asked, standing until he was given permission to sit. He knew better than to ask a single question about the training before he had some information to work with, but his brain was swirling nonstop. You and he stayed up last night making a list of things he needed to know before making a decision. For example, Bradley desperately wanted to fly these sixth-gen fighters, but he wasn't willing to be gone for months on end. Hell, you still hadn't seen your doctor yet. That appointment wasn't happening until Monday.
"Lieutenant Bradshaw," Cyclone said, pushing a folder toward Bradley as he sat down behind his desk. "We chose you for this training protocol. Only you. If you are unwilling, then we will regroup and try to select someone else. However, time is tight and details are going to be scarce unless you agree to participate. Do you understand?"
"I understand, Sir," he replied, and then Cyclone tapped his fingers on the folder before releasing it to Bradley. 
Maverick was standing near the window, and Bradley got the feeling that his godfather was proud of him. He still wasn't sure why he was the only one here, but as he opened the folder and skimmed the pages, many of his immediate questions were answered.
As soon as he saw it, he shook his head. "You want me to fly to Japan on Monday morning? Because if that's a hard set date, then my immediate answer is no." 
He closed the folder and started to hand it back to Cyclone who was sharing a look with Maverick. "And if we could push it to Tuesday?" he asked without taking the folder.
"I'm listening," Bradley replied, honestly wondering what he had that the other pilots didn't.
Maverick stepped away from the window. "Bradl- Lieutenant Bradshaw," he corrected right away. Bradley realized it was hard for both of them to separate their professional relationship from the personal one they shared, especially when they did things like take family vacations together. "This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. You were chosen for your skill set and the way you prioritize communication. We don't want to have to select someone else, especially when we believe you'd be the best pilot available."
Cyclone cleared his throat and added, "Consider Tuesday morning your new departure time. Do you have an answer?"
Bradley blinked at him a few times, glanced down at the information in the folder, and then looked up again. "You need me to give you an answer right now? Sir?"
He nodded once and folded his hands. "Before you leave my office."
---------------------------
You were too tired to do anything after work except pick Noah up from preschool. Seriously, if Casey even tried to talk to you, it was going to be her funeral. But for once, luck was on your side, because she wasn't even there. You signed Noah out without incident and headed home to talk about this special training mission.  
Bradley must have learned his lesson from earlier this week. You couldn't believe he was about to make a decision without you like that, just to try to save you the stress. You could handle it. After your appointment on Monday, you could handle anything that came your way. 
When he got home shortly after you did, he told you immediately that he needed to talk to you. He kissed Noah on the top of his head and pulled you to the kitchen doorway, a frantic look on his face as he stroked your cheek with his fingers. "I'm going."
Your heart plummeted. He really did decide without talking to you about the details. You wanted him to go, but you also wanted to talk about the pros and cons with him first. But in the end, you really had no say here at all. "You are? I thought we were going to talk it through."
"We were," he whispered. "That was my intention, Princess. But they made me decide before I could leave Cyclone's office."
You made a concerned face. "Cyclone's office? How did everyone fit in there?"
Bradley shook his head, his cheeks a little ruddy from frustration or embarrassment, you weren't sure which. "They didn't, Princess. It was just me. I was the whole list of people."
"Oh," you gasped. It was hard for you to understand at times that he was at the top of his career, because he was just as devoted to his life at home. With you and Noah. "Where are you going? And when do you leave?"
"Japan," he rasped, his face full of guilt now. "And I leave on Tuesday morning."
The pounding of your heart was making you feel nauseous. "Tuesday?"
He nodded. "They originally wanted me to leave on Monday, and if that was the case, I was ready to turn it down, no further questions asked."
"You were?"
His eyes went wide. "I'm not missing the first appointment for something optional."
You nodded slowly, because that brought up your next question. You sensed he might be missing subsequent appointments. "When will you be back?"
He wrapped his hands around your hips and pulled you closer to him. "I have no idea."
Then you started to cry, and you felt like such an idiot. You wanted him to go.  You wanted him to have this experience and impact new pilots in the future, but you also thought you'd have a little more time before he left. "Just come back safely," you whispered while he let you cry in his arms.
--------------------------
Bradley noticed right away that you were a little distant. Maybe you needed a day or two to process everything, but in another day or two, he'd be packing and leaving. He thought he was doing what you wanted him to, but you cried yourself to sleep on Thursday. You were obviously exhausted and frankly kind of moody, and now he was kicking himself for agreeing to a training mission that had no disclosed ending date. 
"Fuck," he grunted on Saturday afternoon when he took Noah to the park so you could have some time to yourself. Pretty soon, you'd be on single, pregnant parent duty around the clock for probably weeks on end. Bradley's guilt was really prevalent now.
"Daddy?" Noah asked as he was being pushed on the swing. 
"Yeah, Bub?"
"Can I have a Halloween costume?"
"Of course," Bradley groaned, cradling his forehead in his hand. Halloween was still six weeks away, but he could already imagine the tears in his son's eyes if he wasn't home in time for trick-or-treating. Hell, he hadn't even explained to Noah that he was going away again yet. "You can pick something out with Mommy," he added, his voice harsh now.
Noah looked back at him over his shoulder and started to slow himself down. When he jumped out of the swing, he ran to Bradley who scooped him up. "Can we go home?" he asked. He wrapped his arms around Bradley's neck like he could tell he needed a hug. "I miss Mommy and Skittles."
Bradley kissed his son's cheek. "You know what? I miss them, too. Let's go home." He buckled Noah in and drove slowly. He should probably start packing tonight, but he was just dying to spend some time alone with you. The last thing he wanted was to return to a quiet house and a quiet fiancée right now. You and he were going to need to have another conversation about this, and he already felt like a jerk for wanting to have everything. 
When he pulled into the driveway as the sun was starting to set, you were in the front yard with Skittles on her leash. You were wearing one of your little floral dresses, and Bradley almost ran into your car as he looked at you. God, he was stupid for voluntarily agreeing to leave you. Once he was parked, you opened the back door and started unbuckling Noah and lifting him out like the most devoted mom in the world, and Bradley was about to lose his mind if he couldn't sort this out tonight.
"Hey, Daddy," you said softly as you turned, holding a very sleepy looking Noah against your shoulder. "Should we feed him dinner and get him in bed?"
"I think so," Bradley replied, eyeing you up and down, his gaze catching on your glossy lips. "You look gorgeous. Why are you all dressed up?"
You shrugged like it was nothing. "I just wanted to look cute for you."
His eyebrows shot up in response. "Don't you always?"
A soft smile found your lips as you started to head for the front door with Noah. Bradley followed you inside, and once Noah was eating leftovers, he pulled you into the hallway where he pushed you back against the wall. 
"Does this mean we can talk about some things tonight?" he asked, stroking your bottom lip before kissing you softly. 
You moaned gently into his mouth as his weight pressed against you. "Yes," you whispered. "Of course. We can talk about anything you want."
"You told me you wanted me to fly this mission," he said, and you nodded before you kissed the tip of his nose.
"I know. And I do. I just needed to process everything. The timeline just threw me off a little bit. And if I'm being honest, it's never not going to be scary when you leave."
"I'm coming back," he promised, knowing full well he only had so much control over that. "I'm coming back to my family as soon as I can."
This time when you nodded, you threw your arms around his neck and kissed him hard on the lips. "I know, Daddy," you whimpered between filthy kisses, rubbing yourself against him. He rutted you back into the wall, and you moaned his name as he cupped your ass. And that's when he felt it, firm against his fingertips compared to the softness of your body.
"Fuck," he grunted, easing your dress up inch by inch until he was touching the silicone. 
"Do you want me to put my crown on to match?" you asked sweetly as he spread you open wider with his hands. "I can be your going away present."
Bradley leaned closer until his lips were pressed to your ear. "I want you in bed with your crown on as soon as Noah's asleep. Then I'm going to fuck the absolutely shit out of you. And then after that, I'm going to make love to you until you're satisfied. And then we're going to talk about everything that's going to happen while I'm in Japan until we're both comfortable with all of it. And then we're going to start planning our wedding."
"Yes," you agreed. "That's exactly how I want to spend our evening."
----------------------------
Just a few more chapters left. Do you think he made a good decision? Leaving Princess right now? Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls
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vivwritesfics · 4 months
Note
Wait will you eventually write about what happened when Maverick caught Jake and Bug?
Just really love Bug and her Hangman ❣️
I'M GLAD SOMEONE ELSE THINKS ABOUT THEM AS MUCH AS I DO.
Jake and Bug
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What could Bug do other than invite her father inside? "I'm just gonna get dressed," she said as Jake shut the door behind Maverick.
Maverick, who's daughter he had just been inside of. Maverick, who's daughter had just been calling Jake Daddy!
It was kind of scary how silent Maverick was as he walked towards the kitchen. Jake was lost, and a bit terrified. Maverick was loud when he was angry, not like this.
Jake took one step towards the bedroom.
"Don't you fucking dare."
Like a dog with it's tail tucked between it's legs, Jake followed Maverick to the kitchen. "Sit down," Maverick said as he pulled out a chair.
Jake sat.
Maverick didn't sit right away. It was the only time he was ever standing above Jake, taller than him. The way Jake wouldn't meet his eyes was, well, hilarious. But Maverick wasn't laughing.
Bug walked into the kitchen and froze. There was her... what was he? He wasn't exactly her boyfriend (not yet, anyway). But he was clearly terrified of her dad.
"Sit down," Maverick said again as he pulled out the seat opposite Jake. She didn't need to be told twice as she sat down, and Maverick stood at the head of the table. "I can't believe this," he said.
She looked at her hands folded in her lap, somewhat guilty as her dad berated her. She just sat there, taking it as her dad expressed his anger, disgust and disappointment.
And Jake? Well, he was getting angry. It would have been so much better if Maverick was shouting at him, he could have taken it. But Bug looked ready to cry.
Jake reached his hand across the table. "C'mere, Bug," he said, interrupting Maverick.
When she placed her hand in his, he squeezed and turned his attention to Maverick. "I get that she's your daughter, Mav, I really do," he said, jaw set. "But she's a grown woman. She can make her own choices and she chose to love me." He could feel her staring at him, but he didn't meet her gaze. "And I love her."
Maverick shook his head. "She's ten years younger than you, Hangman! She's..." She's my little girl.
Suddenly, Bug faced her father. "He's right, dad. I'm an adult, and it was my decision to... be with Jake." Maverick's head dropped at that. "I-I think you should go," she said to her father as she stood up.
Maverick didn't push back, didn't argue. He followed his daughter to the front door. What did he think? That she was going to beg for his forgiveness like when she was a little girl! Of course not. What Jake had said was right, she was a woman now.
"I'll speak too you soon," she said quietly as she pulled open the door. No 'goodbye', nothing. Maverick walked out of the apartment, and she shut the door in his face.
As soon as the door was shut, she was running through her apartment, back to Jake. He pushed his chair back and she crawled into his lap. "I'm sorry, Bug," he whispered against her hair. Soft Jake was a rarity, unless he was with her.
She blinked up him, looking so pretty in his lap. That was when Jake noticed she was still wearing one of his shirts. "Did you mean what you said? That you love me?"
There was a moment, one that had her heart racing, where Jake said nothing. It was awful. But then he nodded. "I wanted to take you on a proper date before I said anything, but yeah, Bug. I love you."
Throwing her arms around his neck, Bug planted a kiss on his lips. One that had Jake cradling the back of her head. "I love you too, Jakey." She kissed all over his face and down his neck. "Now, about that date..."
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thewulf · 8 months
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It Matters || Jake "Hangman" Seresin
Summary: Request - I was thinking of a jake x reader fic, were the reader believes her opinion doesn't matter because thats all she heard her entire childhood and once jake realizes that or she tells him he starts asking for her opinion, encouraging her to talk more and goes out his way to ask her stuff he already knows.
A/N: Shorty but a goodie. Thank you for the request!
Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader
Word Count: 1,400k +
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Jake stopped pushing the cart in front of him looking over the options the store had provided. When he couldn’t decide he turned to you who stood behind him waiting, “What do you think darlin’?” He asked hoping to bring you out of your thoughts you seemed to be stuck in.
You shook your head, “I don’t mind. You can pick what you want.” You gave him a reassuring smile as he looked over the boxed macaroni and cheese choices. He’d noticed it quickly but never said much about your aversion to deciding. It’s not that you couldn’t it’s that you were almost afraid to make the decision. Were you worried about making the wrong one? Were you afraid he’d be upset? Whatever it was he decided he needed to help. He didn’t want to press you but he wanted to see if he could try. So, if you couldn’t make a big decision he’d help you make smaller ones.
You watched as he grabbed two boxes before walking over to you, “I can’t decide. What do you think darlin’? White or sharp cheddar?” He held them up for you to take a look.
You shrugged, “I really don’t mind Jake.”
He smiled a touch, “But you have a preference, I know you do.”
“So do you.” You raised your eyebrows as if to challenge him. One of the things he’d quickly fallen for about you. As much as he loved how damn stubborn you were he didn’t enjoy when he was on the receiving end.
He shook his head, “Afraid I don’t sweetheart. Going to need you to decide. My brain’s fried. Mav’s got us doing all kinds of crazy shit in training.”
Your eyes lowered at him, “If I must. Let’s do the white cheddar.”
He smiled really big at that, “Now that wasn’t so hard was it darlin’?” His smirk that drove you mad, in a good way of course, came out.
“No.” You rolled your eyes before meeting his stride. Jake decided not to push any further at the store casually trying to get your opinion on things when he saw an opening. He adored everything about you and only wanted the best.
When it came time to settle in for the night you joined Jake on the couch. He scrolled through the endless catalogue of Netflix shows that seemed to going and going. He pulled you to his side right as you sat down on the couch wanting you by his side.
“Any show you want to start?” He asked without much thought. When you tensed up in his arms he knew there was something so much more than what you were letting on. Maybe it wasn’t his place to push but he truly just wanted to help.
You shook your head quickly, “Oh no, you can put on whatever you’d like.” You were watching the television and not him, so you didn’t notice the saddened look he was giving you. When the channel didn’t change for a moment to long you looked up to him.
“Why do you do that?” He asked with that same look.
Genuinely confused you just looked at him, “Do what?”
He gave you a tight squeeze knowing what he was about to do, pry into a part of your life you kept hidden for one reason or another, “You always deflect darlin’.” Short and sweet and to the point.
You creased your eyebrows in wonder, did you? You thought back on the last three months of dating him and you did exactly that. Had you always done that? You sat there in bemusement of your own account before you felt Jake’s gentle squeeze on your shoulder.
“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or press you sweetheart. I just want to make sure you are alright?” It came out more of a question.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I just… I guess I never really realized.” You bit down on your cheek processing his words. It dawned on you just how often you did this with everybody and everything. You were passive. Allowed people to walk all over you. It’s not like you had an awful childhood either, no, not in the slightest. You were just one of six children. Fourth in line and the third daughter. You were a joy but nothing more, nothing less. You weren’t special. You didn’t stand out from any of your brothers or sisters. You got average grades and did well in a few sports you ended up dropping out of. You were just kind of there. A secondary character in everybody’s lives.
It happened over time. You never had you opinion be known. You learned from an early age it was best to just sit down and shut the hell up. That way your mother wouldn’t tell you to shush, and your father wouldn’t throw an angry glare in your direction. It wasn’t just you they did this too. No, your entire family felt the ire of your parents desire. They wanted you to look the part of the happy little perfect family for all the pretentious faces of your city to see. That’s why you didn’t think anything of it. Your brothers and sisters were treated the same way. You weren’t really allowed to have an opinion on things. The concept felt eerily foreign to you.
To make matters worse you followed your father’s footsteps right into the military. The second you turned eighteen you enlisted in the Navy. You weren’t really allowed to have an opinion in this line of work too. It was best to do as you did before, sit down and shut up. Take the orders, do the job, and move on. That’s what you were good at. It’s like your father had trained you from a young age to act a certain way. But the curse turned to a blessing once you met Jake in flight school. You’d been fast friends for a long two years before he decided to make a move on you after the mission at Top Gun. He realized life was short and took the leap. And you were sure glad he did. You’d loved him from the moment you met him. You’d take him as friend or a lover. And you were rather thankful it was the former.
“Really?” He asked pressing his luck just a little further.
You nodded, “My father is military too. We were raised a certain way… very strict. We weren’t exactly allowed to voice our thoughts.” Not elaborating any further you tore your eyes away feeling a flush of embarrassment rip right on through you.
“You know that’s not right? It’s okay to have an opinion. I want you to have opinions! I want to make you happy.” You felt him wrap his arm around you waist giving it a gentle squeeze for some form of comfort.
“I just didn’t think it mattered. My voice never mattered.” You whispered feeling awfully vulnerable as his eyes bore into your side.
He answered quickly, “It matters. Darlin’ your voice matters so much, okay?”
“Okay.” You nodded, “I can’t… I can’t guarantee I’ll be perfect though Jake. I’ve never had a say. It’s always been told to me. I’m so sorry.”
He grabbed your chin and gently lifted it to look at him. It was agonizing to watch the inner turmoil from your head play out in front of him, “Please don’t apologize. I understand. And if I don’t I’ll try too. I want you to know how much I love you darlin’. I care about what you think. I want to get and do things that make you happy too.”
Your eyes went wide just as his did, “You love me?” He’d never said it out loud before, but he’d loved you for a long time, long before you’d been dating.
“I do.” He nodded knowing he wasn’t going to back out of it. He’d refrained from saying it so he wouldn’t scare you away really. He would’ve told you the night of your first date had he known you wouldn’t have run away. But he knew you. Knew how timid you could be about relationships and feelings. He’d watch you from afar as you tiptoed around these kinds of things in the past.
“That’s good.” You nodded not letting your eyes break from his.
You felt a rumble from his chest and heard a laugh bubble up, “Is that so?”
“Yeah.” You grinned.
“And why’s that?” He pressed as his lips inched closer to yours.
“Because I love you too.” It was almost silent as closed the distance between the two of you. The kiss was different. A little more passionate. Filled with a touch more understanding. He smiled when he pulled back studying your sweet face. He’d successfully knocked another block down from the wall that was slowly crumbling down at his efforts.
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Jake Seresin/Top Gun: Permanent Taglist (Message me or comment below if you want to be added!): @loving-and-dreaming @kmc1989 @memeorydotcom @matisse556 @buckylov3r @taygrls @ah-blossom @hardballoonlove @rosiahills22 @djs8891 @mamachasesmayhem
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tip-top-cloud-surfer · 8 months
Text
The Danger Zone (Part 20) - Hangman
Pairing: Hangman / Fem!Bradshaw!Reader | OC
Word Count: 3.8k
This work, all my works, and my entire blog are 18+ ONLY.
Warnings: Unplanned Pregnancy; Military Inaccuracies; Medical Inaccuracies; Crying; Angst; Family Drama; Deployments; Use of "You," No Use of Y/N, No Set Physical Description
Summary: You go into labor.
Series Master List
Master List
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“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Penny cooed, grabbing your hand and giving it a squeeze. Wiping your tears, she gently touched your shoulder so that you would look at her. “It’s going to be okay. I know it’s scary, but your daughter is coming, and you'll finally get to meet her.”
“But she’s early. She’s not supposed to come yet. She’s still got at least another week,” you whimpered, clutching your bump protectively as more tears streamed down your cheeks. “And Jake’s not here yet.”
“I know, he's not," Penny replied softly, trying to calm you.
"And I can't do it without him!"
"Honey, we need to go to the hospital right now." Penny was still soft with her voice, but there was an edge of force there too. "Your water broke. So, we have to go. Okay?" And though you were still crying, you didn't fight Penny as she led you back to your bedroom. "Come on, let's get you into some clean clothes and then we'll go."
Penny gave Maverick a look before closing the door behind her. He moved to grab a mop and clean up the fluid. Hastily pulling out his phone, Maverick pressed on Bradley's name before balancing his phone between his ear and shoulder.
“Hey, Mav, what’s up?” Rooster asked, picking up on the third ring.
“Has Jake landed at base yet?”
“No, I think he’s still a few hours out. Why?”
“Her water just broke.”
“Are you shitting me?” Rooster questioned quietly. 
“No, I’m not. And she’s already upset and crying. Penny’s getting her ready for the hospital."
"Has she mentioned him?"
"She said that she can't do it without him."
"Jesus Christ."
"Check with Cyclone about Jake.”
“I’ll go now and call you back.”
“Alright, I’m going to be driving them to the hospital.” Maverick glanced at your bedroom before turning back to his conversation with Rooster. “Penny's taking care of her."
"I'll try my best to get him there as soon as possible."
Maverick hung up the call and turned to see Penny leading you out of your bedroom. He jogged over and grabbed the hospital bag before standing on your other side. You were still silently crying but didn’t fight them as they pulled you out to the car. 
“I’ll move the car seat to the back for now," Maverick stated, pulling it out and putting it in the trunk.
Penny got you situated in the backseat before climbing into the back on the other side. Maverick closed the trunk and ran around to start the car. You leaned back in your seat and closed your eyes as tears streamed down your cheeks. Penny rubbed your back as Maverick pulled out of the driveway and headed for the hospital.
"You're going to be okay," Penny assured you, giving your hand a squeeze. "Just focus on your breathing."
“Traffic is horrible,” Maverick cursed, taking a right down a side road. 
“They’re doing all of that construction,” Penny sighed, turning to you as you let out a whimper. Timing your contraction, Penny held your hand. “We’ll get you there soon.”
"Why couldn't she wait?" you whimpered, staring down at your bump. "Why does she have to come now? When he's not here."
"Babies come when they're ready, not when it's convenient," Penny replied softly, rubbing your arm.
Maverick glanced back in the mirror at you and his heart broke at how defeated you looked. All he could do was hope that the baby wasn’t in a rush and that Jake would land soon. 
“I need Jake,” you cried, causing Penny to hug you tighter into her side. "I need him. I can't do it, Penny."
“You can do it, Honey. It's going to be alright. Jake will be home soon, and he'll be right at your side as soon as he can."
“It’s not fair,” you sobbed, causing Maverick’s jaw to lock into place. “It’s not fair.”
~~~~~
Rooster strode through the halls of NAS North Island with a determined look. He shared a short conversation with Cyclone’s secretary before hurriedly knocking on the door. Cyclone called for him to enter and Rooster stepped inside. Giving Cyclone a half-assed greeting, Rooster didn’t pause until he was standing in front of Cyclone’s desk. 
“What’s wrong, Rooster?”
“How far away is Hangman?”
“About two hours as a guess. Why?” Cyclone asked, leaning forward.
“My sister’s water broke. She’s on her way to the hospital right now,” Rooster explained quietly, tension radiating off of him. “And I’m trying to figure out if her husband’s going to be there for her or not.”
Cyclone nodded and turned to his computer. Typing in some quick commands, he turned back to Rooster. 
“His ETA is a little less than three hours.”
“Three hours?” Rooster repeated dejectedly. It was clearly not the answer that he was hoping for. 
“Is she progressing quickly?”
“I don’t know. I’m still waiting for Maverick to call me.”
“Unfortunately, there’s nothing else we can do to get him here earlier. But you have clearance to be there waiting for him. I’ll have him dismissed immediately, given the circumstances.”
“Thank you, sir.”
~~~~~
You were led to a wheelchair and slowly sat down. Maverick quickly pushed you into the hospital. Penny ran alongside the two of you and held the door open. You were immediately admitted, and Maverick and Penny waited out in the hall while you were assessed.
“Rooster says that Jake is three hours out,” Maverick sighed, causing Penny to nod slowly. “Cyclone’s dismissing him as soon as he arrives. Rooster is going to bring him here. I just hope that the traffic isn’t too bad, and this kid isn't in a rush.”
"I'm worried about her, Pete," Penny stated quietly, resting her hand on her chest. "She hasn't been herself for weeks."
"I know," Maverick sighed, rubbing his face. "I don't know what to do. If we tell her that he's coming, she might get better, but if she has to deliver the baby sooner, she's going to fight it. And if we don't tell her, and Jake gets here after the baby's born, I'll feel like I betrayed her."
"Let's not jump to decisions right now," Penny replied, causing Maverick to nod. "Let's just wait and talk to the doctor and see how she's doing."
When the doctor stepped out of the room, Penny and Maverick quickly turned to her. She walked over and greeted them before getting straight to business.
"She's about five centimeters dilated now. Her blood pressure is a little high, but we're monitoring it. The baby is healthy. After talking with her, it sounds like she was in early labor since yesterday evening." Penny and Maverick shared a look before turning back to the doctor. "I'm assuming that she didn't tell you?"
"No, she didn't," Maverick stated, resting his hands on his hips.
"Has she expressed any fear of labor to you or anyone else?"
"Not exactly."
"Her husband is deployed," Penny explained quietly. "She hasn't really been herself since he left and we're worried that she's going to try and fight labor because he's not here."
"I see," the doctor replied, nodding slowly.
"He's coming home today, but we didn't tell her before her water broke. We're worried about telling her now."
"How far away is he?"
"A little more than two hours probably," Maverick stated, causing the doctor to pause for a moment.
"How fast is she progressing?"
"She'll deliver in a few hours, if she keeps going as she is now."
"A few hours?"
"Somewhere between three to five, I would guess."
"Shit," Maverick sighed, rubbing his face again.
"Can I check on her?" Penny asked, causing the doctor to nod and walk off. Turning to Maverick, she squeezed his shoulder, knowing that he was going to run off and try and get Jake here sooner. "Get him here, Pete."
"Just keep her as calm as you can. And if the baby has to come, the baby has to come."
They shared a quick kiss before heading to their separate missions. You were laying on your hospital bed on your side, clutching something to your chest. There were several monitors hooked up to you and Penny walked around the bed.
"How're you doing?" Penny asked softly, brushing her hand down your back.
She paused when she looked down and saw that you were clutching one of Jake's shirts. Your nose was buried in the fabric, and you were clearly trying to soothe yourself with it.
"She's coming," you replied quietly.
"She is," Penny agreed, nodding slowly. "It'll be alright."
You didn't respond and simply closed your eyes and held Jake's shirt to your chest as you tried to regulate your breathing.
~~~~~
Jake stared out at the wide blue sky in front of him. Trying to not get antsy and pull a Hangman, as Rooster would have said, Jake took a breath. Glancing at the photo of the two of you as you held up a picture of your ultrasound, Jake nodded to himself before turning forward once again. 
“I’m coming home, Honey. Just a little longer.”
~~~~~
You stared at the ceiling as the nurse walked off. It seemed that your daughter would be arriving in a few short hours. Resting your hands on your bump, you simply sat there, staring blankly ahead. 
“We haven’t even picked a name yet,” you told Penny softly. “We couldn’t decide on one.”
“What about a middle name?”
“Caroline. For my mom.”
"Of course," Penny stated, watching your expression worriedly. "But don't worry about her name right now. It's a big decision. And there's nothing wrong with thinking carefully about it."
“How did you decide on Amelia?” 
“Amelia Earhart,” Penny stated, causing you to raise an eyebrow. 
“I thought your ex was a sailor?”
“He is, yeah.”
The two of you shared a small smile and laugh. But as the humor faded and you were left with the realization that Jake wouldn't be there to name your daughter with you, you worked yourself up all over again.
“I don’t want to have to name her without him,” you whispered, your voice breaking again. 
Penny got up and pulled you in for a hug, whispering soft words as you let more tears fall. You took in a shaky breath and curled against her chest, already emotionally drained. 
“He should be here. He should get to be here. He wanted to be here.”
Penny rocked you gently and stared out the window, hoping that she would see the Bronco driving down the road towards the hospital. Giving you another squeeze, she held you by your shoulders and offered you a reassuring motherly smile. 
“He loves you. And he loves your baby. And I know that he’s going to come home to you as soon as he can.”
~~~~~
Rooster paced anxiously as Hondo stood behind him, keeping an ear to the radios. Jake’s plane was due soon and Rooster wasn’t able to sit still with the knowledge that your labor was progressing quickly. Holding his hand to his chin, Rooster kept his gaze to the ground and his feet constantly moving to occupy himself. 
“They’re starting the landing sequences now,” Hondo told Rooster. 
He turned and stared at the approaching planes. Holding himself back until he knew that it was safe to approach, Rooster strode forward with the ground crew. And then he started running when he spotted Hangman climbing out of his plane. 
“Hangman!” he yelled, causing Jake to pick his head up sharply. “Let’s go!”
Jake jumped down the ladder, hearing the urgency in Bradley’s voice, and hurried over.
“What’s wrong?” Jake yelled, reaching Bradley quickly.
“Her water broke. She’s in labor,” Rooster told him as they both ran, causing Jake to freeze for a second. 
“She’s not due for another week and half!”
“Take it up with your daughter! And get your ass in gear!”
~~~~~
“Fuck, it hurts,” you sobbed, rocking your hips as you buried your face in your arms. 
You were bent over the hospital bed as your contractions grew more intense. You felt like you could barely stand when your contractions hit now, which only meant that your daughter was even closer to being born. Letting out another whine of pain, your grip tightened on the bed.
“Breathe. You’re doing so well,” Penny coached you, helping you rock your hips. “You're doing amazing."
Penny helped you straighten up as the contraction ended. You took a moment to steady yourself and let the pain subside. Penny pulled out her phone when she felt it buzz and saw Maverick’s text. She read through it quickly before moving to help you again.
She didn’t speak, knowing that you were trying to focus. But Jake was coming. He was on his way. He was coming to be here for the birth of your daughter. 
~~~~~
“This is your definition of a short cut!?” Jake complained loudly.
With the heavy traffic built up in front of them, Jake held his hands to his face and let out a groan of frustration. With the highway a disaster due to construction, they decided to take back roads. But so did everyone else. They had been stuck at this same light for two full rotations and Jake felt like he was going to scream. Actually, he was already screaming.
“I told you that you should have taken a left!”
“It was impossible!” Bradley snapped back, focused forward. 
“Then let me drive!”
“So that you can get us into an accident!? No!”
Jake tugged at his hair, trying to keep calm. But he was rapidly failing. You were only a few miles away, in labor with your daughter, and he came all of this way, and he was still going to miss it. Because of stupid traffic. 
“Move!” Jake and Bradley yelled as soon as the light turned green. 
~~~~~
Closing your eyes, you breathed in and out as you listened to soothing music, trying to prepare yourself for the next part. 
“Everything looks good,” your nurse told Penny, who smiled and nodded in thanks. 
Penny walked around to the side of the bed that you were facing, and her expression softened when she saw that you were cuddling one of Jake’s shirts again, trying to soothe yourself with the lingering scent. Looking out the window, she sighed. 
“Get here quickly, Seresin.”
~~~~~
“Should I just run at this point!?” Jake yelled, sitting up in his seat. 
“It’s five miles!”
“I’ve run further!”
“This is still faster,” Bradley countered, causing Jake to huff and hold his head in his hands. 
“I can’t just sit here like a useless asshole while she has our baby!”
“I’m not asking you to just sit there! Just calm down!"
“Would you be calm if our positions were reversed!?”
“On the outside, yes.”
“Bullshit!”
“It’s not bullshit!”
While Jake and Bradley continued to bicker, a Kawasaki pulled up alongside them. Maverick looked into the Bronco and frowned when he saw Bradley and Jake arguing, completely ignoring him. He revved the engine, but it didn’t seem to get their attention. 
“Jake!” 
“We should have just stayed on the highway!” Jake argued loudly. 
“Bradley!”
“I’m trying the best that I can! Why don’t you try navigating for once!?” Bradley yelled back. 
“Hello!?”
Getting off of his bike, Maverick stalked forward and banged his fist on the glass, causing Jake and Bradley to finally turn to him. Bradley lowered the window down as Maverick shot them both a look. 
“Are you two finished?”
Jake hopped out of the Bronco got onto the back of the Kawasaki without another word. Maverick sped down the street, weaving in and out of traffic, and heading straight for the hospital. 
~~~~~
Penny squeezed your hand when she noticed how terrified you were. Your daughter was coming into the world shortly whether you were ready for her or not. 
“I can't do this,” you whispered shakily. “She can’t be coming now. I’m not ready. I can’t do it.”
“Of course, you can do it.”
“No, I can’t! I can’t do it!” you sobbed, looking absolutely stricken with fear. “I want to go home, Penny! I can’t do this!”
“Yes, you can,” Penny replied more firmly. “Hey, you’ve been preparing for this moment your whole pregnancy. You took the class, read the books, and you made a plan. You’re ready to do this. You can do this. You’re stronger than you think.”
“She can come another day.”
“No, she can’t. She’s coming today. And I know that’s scary. Believe me, I was terrified when I was in your position. But then Amelia was born, and all of that fear and pain disappeared. Because I had my beautiful daughter in my arms. And you’ll get that moment too. And I’ll be here with you for it, okay?”
“She better not have his big fat head," you cried out.
~~~~~
Jake jumped off the Kawasaki and ran into the hospital. Maverick had informed the front desk people about the situation, and they quickly got him checked into the ward.
Rushing down the hall, Jake weaved in between nurses, patients, and family members, searching for your room number. Penny stepped out of your room and waved for him.
Jake hurried the rest of the way down the hall. You sat up on your head, confused at why Penny rushed to the door. But when your husband appeared out of seemingly nowhere, still in his flight suit, you couldn't help but burst into tears.
"Jake!"
He rushed to your side and pulled you in for a hug. You latched onto your husband, sobbing tears of relief and joy as he pressed a series of kisses to your head. Turning his head, Jake gave you a soft and loving kiss before pulling back and resting his head against your own.
"You're here," you breathed out, cupping his cheeks with your hands. Like you weren't convinced that he was real.
"I'm here," he assured you. "I thought that I would surprise you. But it looks like Baby Girl surprised us first."
"She is your daughter, after all."
Penny smiled at the interaction and looked down the hall to see Maverick walking over with a bag for Jake. He stood beside Penny as you and Jake talked softly, sharing a kiss every few seconds.
"I think I'll just leave this on the chair," Maverick joked, causing Penny to smack him lightly on the chest.
"He made it?" the nurse asked, looking into your room.
"He made it."
Jake reluctantly left your side for a moment to change out of his flight suit and take a quick shower to get the smell of jet fuel and sweat off of him before returning to your side. Maverick and Penny said their goodbyes before you and Jake were left alone.
Your contractions were growing more intense and closer together and not even fifteen minutes after Jake arrived, your nurse assessed you one last time.
"I'm going to get the doctor. You're fully dilated."
Jake squeezed your hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it as the nurse hurried off. More people started to walk into the room to get you prepped for delivery, but your eyes never left Jake. He leaned over a pressed a kiss to your forehead.  
"She's coming," you breathed out, holding tightly to your husband.
"She is," Jake agreed, trying to keep his voice level. "And I'm here for you through the whole thing, alright? You let me know what you need me to do and I'll be there."
"I know, Jake," you replied, smiling nervously. "I love you."
"I love you too," Jake stated, pressing a kiss to your wedding band. "Let's meet our daughter."
~~~~~
In the waiting area, your family sat around anxiously for news about you and the baby. They were all lounging around, guessing about your status, when the nursery tune played overhead. 
“You think that was them?” Maverick asked Penny.
“It could be. We'll have to wait a little longer to find out.”
~~~~~
"She's here!"
You let out a choked sob, leaning back against the hospital bed as the doctor lifted your daughter up so that you could see her. Jake stood, frozen, as the doctor placed your daughter down on your chest for some skin to skin.
Cuddling your daughter, who was still screaming at the top of her lungs, you laughed incredulously, tears blurring your vision. You held her little head to your cheek, turning to Jake with the most lovestruck expression he had ever seen.
Jake, breaking out of his frozen state, slowly straightened up and pressed a kiss to your lips. You smiled up at him before turning back to your daughter.
“She’s here,” you croaked out, laughing incredulously. “Holy shit, she’s actually here.”
“You did amazing,” Jake praised you, staring down at your daughter with a sense of awe. “She’s . . . she’s so beautiful.” Pressing another shaky kiss to your head, he added, "She’s perfect.”
The next few minutes was a bit of a haze, but soon enough, you were cuddling your daughter to your chest again. Resting your hand on her back and keeping her secure, you smiled to yourself and took in the moment. You looked up at Jake, and smiled, almost feeling like you were on cloud nine.
"Do you want to hold her?" you asked softly.
"Of course, I want to hold her. But did you want more time with her?"
"Just hold your daughter, Jake."
Jake sat down in a chair and a nurse brought your daughter over to him. He took off his shirt and accepted your daughter into his arms. The nurse gave him some quick instructions before stepping back to give the two of them their first moment together. You smiled as you watched them from your bed.
"Hi, sweetheart," he breathed out softly, not wanting to startle her. Gently running his finger through her short hair, Jake sniffled as he felt her move against him. "I can't believe you're finally here." Pressing a kiss to the top of her head, he held his head there for a moment. "I love you so much, sweetheart. And I promise you that I'll tell you that every day that I have."
Your daughter stuck her tongue out at him, causing Jake to smile to himself, before turning back to you. 
“I guess it’s not just the two of us anymore,” he stated softly.
“No,” you agreed, looking down at your daughter. “I wouldn’t want it any other way.”
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654 notes · View notes
Text
Alright hear me out
Beautiful boy by John Lennon is Ice and Bradley’s song
Slipping through my fingers by ABBA is Mav and Bradley’s song
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0mg-bird · 2 months
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How To Breathe ~ B. Bradshaw x Fem!Reader
Summary: Bradley would drop everything to help you, his girl, get through hard things.
Warnings: Anxiety, panic attack! Talks of mental disorder.
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For the longest time, you’ve felt like a burden when it comes to these episodes. No one understood what to say when you suddenly couldn’t breathe and the feeling of the world got too heavy. No one could comfort you until Bradley came along.
He never judged, in fact, when you told him about these panic attacks that strike you, he told you he was no stranger to anxiety. He felt the overwhelming feeling too sometimes, but he quickly learned the difference between the two of you, the first time you broke down around him.
Over the years, you’ve learned ways to subside these episodes, you determined triggers, you sought out medication to try and keep these things at bay.
Sometimes though, all the steps you take of prevention, just don’t work.
It was a beautiful night, you were dressed to the nines, along with many other women who accompanied their Navy men to this ceremony. Your hair was pinned up, showing off your shoulders, the neckline of your dress was tasteful in showing your delicate collarbones and the soft tops of your breasts. It was a deep midnight color that Bradley adored. In fact, it was hard for him to keep his hands off of you and act professional all night.
He had disappeared with some of the boys and you stood in the corner of the room with women you were introduced to by Bob’s wife. They were kind enough, though a few were more passive aggressive. They talked about nonsense really, they unfaithfulness they’ve had to deal with in the early parts of their marriage, all their questions about when you’ll have kids, why you don’t have kids and why you aren’t married. You felt the itch start, the one that made you feel a little dizzy and made it hard to swallow. You took a deep breath and pushed through, then one of the older women insisted on dragging you through the crowd and introducing you to many other wives who threw silent judgement your way.
The music that played was loud, you constantly bumped into people which made you constantly apologize. Your stomach flipped, your chest started to hurt, you looked around for a familiar face and they were all gone. You were in a sea of people all looking at you like you shouldn’t be there.
Here it came, the crash of panic.
Your breath quickened, you gulped for air and spun around, trying to find your way back to the people you knew. You pushed past people, a hand splayed over your chest.
“You made it back alive.” Bob’s wife, Lindsey, had joked before she took in your appearance. She sees the look of your blown eyes and drained face. “What’s wrong?”
You couldn’t speak, your head shook. “I need air.” You managed to croak.
Immediately, she rushes you from the event halls ballroom and quickly pulled you through the corridors. You pass Maverick and Jake who were in a discussion with other Captains, once they seen you blow by, there concern grew too.
“What’s wrong? What’s happening?” Jake had asked, him and Mav following after the two of you. He pulled open the big doors that led to the back steps.
You were overwhelmingly embarrassed that more people had to see you like this, looking frail, tears clouding your vision as you heaved in and out.
You tried to hide this part of you from everyone, but because of the closeness Mav and Bradley had, Mav knew what this was.
“Where’s Rooster?” He questioned.
“Bob will know.” Lindsey said, moving her grip away and letting you lean on Jake- who is still wildly confused. “Follow me, Mav.” She rushes back inside, the manhunt for the pilot was on.
“Okay, you’re fine.” Jake panicked, looking around for a solution. He placed a firm hand on your arm, but you were so dazed with your thoughts blaring at you, you didn’t know what was happening. You leaned your weight against him, your frame still shaking.
Bradley had been in another room, catching up with pilots he hadn’t seen in a while. Utterly relaxed with a glass in his hand, he didn’t expect the way the door bursted open.
“Rooster, you need to come quick.” Lindsey rushed out, confusing the room.
“What’s wrong?” He asked, standing from his leaned position against a table.
Mav looked at him knowingly. “You’re needed outside immediately.”
Rooster put the pieces together, then he was off without another word. His dress shoes clacked against the flooring as he rushed to the open door to the back gardens. He could see your frame and the way Jake held you, his mind raced because even though he and Jake were good now, he wanted to shove his hands off of his perfect girl.
“Rooster I don’t know what’s wrong with her-” Jake began to explain, but Bradley only gave him a look to shut it. “It’s fine Hangman, she’s okay.”
“She’s hyperventilating!” Jake gently nudged you away from him.
“Don’t yell.” Bradley said in a low warning voice as the loud tone made you quake. He pulls you from Jake, then looks to the others in the doorway. “She’s fine, go back inside.”
They weren’t going to question Bradley, not when it came to you.
As they leave, he gains a more softer persona. “Hey, honey. It’s alright.” He coos, holding your face in his hands. Your makeup smeared from your hot tears, your lips wobble. “I…can’t…breathe.” It comes out broken, he just nods.
“Yes you can, breathe with me.”
“No!” You snap, squirming. “This dress- it’s too tight- I can’t breathe.”
Immediately, Bradley reaches behind you and yanks at the zipper, the force of it rips the material of the dress in some parts. It loosens the tight bodice of the dress and immediately you sob with relief.
“There we go, it’s all okay. This will be over soon, don’t let those thoughts tell you otherwise wise.” He reaches for your fisted hand. He spreads your fingers out, then pulls at the buttons of his dress uniform until he can slide your hand over his chest, pressing it against his ironed shirt so you can feel his steady heartbeat.
“You remember your breathing?” His voice is soft and a lulling comfort. “Come on, breathe in through your nose and hold it, then out through your mouth.”
“I can’t.” You shake your head, but he persists, on hand holding yours to his chest, his other holding the side of your neck. “Yes you can, you’re my brave girl, I know you can.”
Together, you breathe. He feels the pulse in your neck start slow and he wants to sigh with relief.
“Good job, baby. That’s my girl, keep breathing for me. Good girl.”
Your vision clears, you gaze up at him with reddened eyes. The storm is passing and here he was at the end of it.
“I’m sorry.” Are the first calm words from your mouth.
“No, don’t ever be sorry.” He smooths the top of your hair.
It sniffle. “I hate how I’m like this, always raining on parades.”
Bradley shake his head. “You never ruin anything, things like this just happen, my girl.”
You lean your body into him, arms heavy to fully wrap around him so you just grasp the sides of his coat. His strong arms are warm as they wrap around you, like a security blanket, instantly soothing you.
“You want to go home?” He asks and you don’t lift your head to nod, he just feels the movement on his chest.
Bradley only pulls back to slip his coat off and wrap it around you instead, trying to hide the back of your ripped dress. Your hands wrap around his arm as the two of you walk back inside. He stops to say goodbye to Maverick, explaining everything was fine but he was going to take you home.
You were quiet the whole ride, much like your two bedroom home when you arrive.
“Are you hungry?” Bradley asks.
“No.” You answer, laying the coat over the back of the couch and kick your heels off. He kisses the top of your head. “Why don’t you take a hot shower? That’ll help with the headache.”
You loved the way he always knew you, always knew the symptoms that come afterwards, always knew how to help.
You nod, making your way to the shared master bedroom. Your clothes fall into a pile on the floor, you walk into the bathroom and wrap a robe around yourself. In front of the mirror, you struggle to pull all the pins that hold your thick hair up.
“Brad!” You call out, sighing with defeat.
After a second, he’s coming in behind you. You look up at him through the reflection. “I can’t get my hair down.” You explain.
Without a complaint, he starts dropping your hair pins onto the counter. Soon, your curls are falling down softly.
The warm water falls down like rainfall as you enter the shower, you let your head fall forward as the tension in your body leaves. You rub at your face, wiping clean of any salty tears and makeup.
Bradley joins you after a moment, leaving a kiss on your wet shoulder. You turn to face him, a small smile on your lips.
“Ah, there’s my girl.” He grins, which in return makes you grin.
You stare up at him, determining that he was the love of your life and nothing was going to change that.
“What are you thinking about?” He asks, seeing your deep look.
You shrug. “I’m just thinking that you’d be the best husband a girl could ask for and yet you won’t ask me to be your wife.”
Bradley laughs then pulls you into him, his hands holding the sides of your face. “You want to be tied to me forever?” He asks in sarcasm, as if you’re supposed to say no.
You nod instead. “I want to be the other half of you, I want you to be the better half of me forever.”
His eyebrows knit together like they always do when he’s feeling some sort of raw emotion. He leans his forehead down to rest against yours. “I’d be lying if I said marrying you wasn’t on my mind all the time.” He says.
Your fingers run through his wet hair. “But it’s soon.”
“A year is long enough for me if it’s long enough for you.”
You laugh, it’s a sweet melody he loves to hear, especially after an evening like the one you had. You lean up on your toes slightly to kiss him, warm water rushes around the two of you but it’s not an inconvenience. Bradley’s grip tightens ever so slightly, his lips pressed against yours in a sort of hunger, like you’re the only thing that can fill him. You pull away slowly, eyes still shut as you chew your bottom lip, thinking.
Your bright eyes open once you’ve found your words. “People get married sooner, all the time.” You declare, giving him your answer.
He fights a boyish vandal grin. “This is not a proposal.” He claims. “But it’s a promise of one, soon.”
Your mind might be a war zone, you might believe you’re damaged at this point, but here stood the strongest man you knew, and he’s washing your hair for you. His rough hands are utterly gentle as they help wash your skin, they’re wrapping a towel around you and leading you out of the shower. He’s pushing all those lies away, the only thing inside you now was a fuzzy burn of utter admiration and love. He falls asleep first, facing you, an arm snug around your waist and you’re left to trace the features of his face with your eyes. In this soft moment, wrapped in bedsheets, you determine that you might drown your entire life.
But he’ll teach you how to breathe.
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simpforrooster · 1 year
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heard it all.
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Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x f!Reader
summary: reader vents to mav and penny about her feelings for a certain mustached fighter pilot. a/n: my take on a request from @kpopgirlbtssvt. i latched on to one part of the request and took off. i hope you still like it!
"What's going on in that head of yours?" the low voice of Maverick pulls you from your thoughts.
"Hmm, I don't know what you're talking about," you reply, continuing on without another thought.
"You've been wiping down that same spot of the bar for ten minutes."
Maverick and Penny, your boss, exchange a knowing glance. You look at the rag in the hand as if seeing it for the first time.
"I think it's plenty clean, y/n," Penny comments, winking at Mav.
Placing a hand on your hip, you stare the two of them down. "What are you two silently saying to one another?"
Penny shrugs a shoulder. "Oh nothing." You can see it in her eyes though. She knows exactly what has your brain all a-mush.
More like who.
Bradley Bradshaw.
The Hawaiian shirt wearing aviator.
The hot Hawaiian shirt wearing aviator.
He captured your heart the first day you met him. Sure, his looks were what drew you to him initially. But he was so nice. Like green flags all around.
You shake your head at the two people who have become a pseudo family to you. Tossing the rag onto the counter, a sigh escapes your mouth.
"Y'all just give it up. We're just friends." Your voice breaks on the word friends, and your eyes squeeze shut to hide your embarrassment.
"Come on," Penny starts.
Holding up a hand, you stop her. "Penny, please. It already hurts enough. He's the nicest, sweetest guy I've ever met."
Your chest heaves as you breath through your emotions.
"I have never met another man like him. He makes me feel seen. He makes me feel beautiful."
Maverick makes a move like he is going to say something, but Penny lays a hand on his arm, stopping him.
"And as if the silly little age difference isn't enough, he only sees me like a sister." A tear falls along your cheek, surprising you. Of course, you've grieved the non-relationship before. It isn't out of the norm to sob into your wine glass with Phoenix.
It's the first time you've ever cried in front of Penny and Mav.
The sound of a clearing throat has your spinning around.
Rooster looks at you, his brows knit together. You can't read the look on his face, but it can't be good. It tells you everything you need to know.
He heard it all.
And he doesn't feel the same.
Reaching up to sloppily wipe your tears, you tried to step around him, mumbling something so incoherent you can't decipher the words.
Rooster's strong arms reach out and stop you in your tracks.
"I can promise you I do not see you as a sister," he says, his voice low.
Not that you try, but words refuse to come out your mouth. How could they? The way he's staring at you has your heart beating in overdrive.
"Did you really mean all that?" he asks. His eyes roam over your face, searching for something. It takes you a second to realize he looks a little scared.
Scared of being rejected.
Bradley doesn't like you back. There's no way. He's had plenty of opportunities to make a move and hasn't.
He takes one step closer to you, the soles of your shoes meeting.
"Of course, Bradley." The sentence comes out barely a whisper, but he heard it. His hand snakes around your neck and settles into your hair. "Why wouldn't I be madly in love with you?"
A delicious groan escapes from his mouth before he closes the space between you. His lips meet yours and suddenly the Earth moves beneath your feet as the planets snap into alignment.
Bradley's lips are finally on yours, and it feels every bit as right as you imagined.
He pulls back so his mouth is feather light against yours. "Sweetheart, I am wildly in love with you." The words fall on your ears in soft whispers. Your eyes fall closed to relish in the way all this feels.
Bradley brings his mouth back to yours, pulling you tight against him. Your height difference has never been more apparant that right this second.
"Okay, okay, get a room," Maverick calls, followed by a, "Oof," as Penny's arm comes into contact with his solid stomach.
masterlist.
a/n: i hope y'all enjoy this one! i've been struggling with a little bit of writer's block.
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harvestleaves · 1 year
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Beach Day (HangmanxF!Reader)
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Summary: F!reader’s asthma is flaring up at the beach and Jake is being a worried mother-hen.
A/N: I was working on this before I received the prompt: Hangman takes care of the person of your choice.  But this fits that prompt perfectly!  Let me know if I should also post this on Ao3!
Rating: G
Word Count: 1,254
Sitting on a towel in the sand next to Maverick, you watched as your boyfriend Jake ran around on the beach playing football and let your eyes shamelessly roam over his shirtless body, glad you had sunglasses on so no one could tell.  Jake had originally asked you to the beach with his team to play football with them, but when you woke up with your asthma flaring up, he decided it was probably just best for you to sit and watch.
“Why aren’t you out there playing with Hangman?  You don’t normally pass up an opportunity to run around with him,” Maverick asked curiously as he pulled two bottles of water out of the cooler he brought and held one out to you.
“I woke up wheezing this morning.  Jake wanted me to sit out,” you explained as you took the offered water, cracking it open to take a swig.
“Your asthma?  Does it normally bother you?” Maverick asked, turning his head to look over where you were sitting, making a mental note of how raspy your breathing was, despite the salty ocean breeze.
Jake knew that normally the sea air opened your tight lungs, which is why he suggested you still come even if it was just to sit on the beach.  Today however, you had a feeling when you got back to Jake’s place you were going to be curled up to your boyfriend with a breathing treatment going.
“It doesn’t usually, but the heat the last few days has been making me wheeze more than usual,” you shrugged as you took another drink of water before coughing a little.
Reaching into the beach bag you brought, you grabbed your inhaler from where it had fallen to the bottom.  Shaking the device, you let out a wheezy sigh before taking as deep of a breath of medicine as you could manage.  You let your eyes drift shut behind your sunglasses, focusing on the medicine settling in your lungs before you shakily exhale, your next breaths coming a little easier than before.
Because your eyes were closed though, you didn’t see Jake jogging towards you and Maverick, him having noticed you taking a dose of your medicine, making his worry from earlier come back full force.
Jake crouched down in front of you and gently reached a hand out to brush a piece of hair behind your ear, frowning at the sound of your breathing.
“Hey pretty girl, how’s your breathing doing?  You still don’t sound too good,” Jake said softly, no sign of his usual cocky confidence as he ran his thumb over your cheek, causing you to open your eyes even though he couldn’t see them.
“Hi Jake, I’m okay.  My chest is still just a little tight,” you admitted with a wheeze, taking another drink of water when Jake guided it up to your lips again.
“I can hear it darling.  I’m worried about you.  Maybe we should head back to my place and get you into the AC.  Mav, I’m sorry about this.  I know we just got here not too long ago, but I think we should head out, her breathing isn’t getting better,” Jake said as he turned his head to look at the older pilot, hoping he would have some sort of advice.
Frowning, Maverick nodded at Jake’s words and gave you a once over himself, making a mental note of how your cheeks were flushed from your wheezy breathing and not just the sunshine.
“If it’s the AC she needs, do you wanna try taking her inside for a little bit first?  I’m sure Penny wouldn’t mind,” Maverick said as he glanced back to the Hard Deck and where Penny was sitting at one of the tables outside.
“Can we try going inside first?  I don’t want to ruin the beach day,” you wheezed, your shoulders starting to rise and fall a little faster as Jake reached out to move your sunglasses to the top of your hair, wanting to study every part of your face.
Frowning, Jake didn’t like the idea of waiting out the flare up any more than necessary and tilted your chin up so you were looking at his his eyes.  “Are you sure the AC is all you need?  We’ll try your medicine again once your inside.  But if it doesn’t work, I’m taking you home.”  Jake’s tone of voice was commanding, and if you hadn’t already been having trouble breathing, your breath would have caught in your chest from arousal, loving when he took charge.
You nodded at Maverick’s suggestion though and held out your hands for Jake to help you up.  “Let’s try inside first.  Please?”  Your wheezy voice was hopeful as Jake stood from his crouched position, pulling you against his chest before he dropped a kiss to your forehead.
“You get half an hour,” Jake stated as he grabbed your beach bag and looped an arm around your shoulders to steer you up the sand to the bar.
“Hey Penny, sorry to bother you, but can I take this one inside for a bit?  Her shitty lungs need some cool air.”
“Yeah, of course!  Does she need some water?” Penny asked as she moved to her feet to let the two of you inside, noticing that your water from Maverick was almost empty.
“Yes please, if it’s no trouble,” Jake smiled as he led you to the chairs at the bar, rubbing his hand over your upper back as you sat down in a chair.  “Thanks,” he said absentmindedly as Penny set the glass of cool water in front of you, all of his attention back on you as he stood behind you, rubbing the knots out of your tight shoulders.
“Inhaler again,” Jake said bluntly with a nod to the device, watching as you shook it again before taking another puff of the medication.
Normally you would be embarrassed at the amount of attention that was directed at you for your asthma, but there was a small part of you that loved how protective Jake was over you and how in control of the situation he was.
Letting the medicine settle in your lungs again, you exhaled with a few coughs trailing it, the exhaustion from your breathing and the sunshine finally washing over you as you shivered from the AC.
Taking a slightly deeper breath, you winced before turning in the barstool to settle your cheek against Jake’s warm chest, fighting back a few tears now that the two of you were alone and you didn’t need to have your guard up.
“Whoa, what’s with the tears sweetheart?  You’re okay,” Jake whispered in confusion as he hugged you close, confused as to where your sudden emotion was coming from.
“I d-don’t feel good.  My chest is sore, and my inhaler isn’t doing much good.  Can we go back to your place?” you finally wheezed out as a few hot tears fell down your cheeks.
“Sure, we can head out.  I’m sorry you don’t feel well darling.  We’ll get you a breathing treatment and a cold shower, then watch a movie.  Are you okay to walk to my car?  Or do you want me to carry you?” Jake asked, just wanting to hold you close and get you feeling better.
“Carry me please?” you whispered softly, letting him scoop you into his arms as he brought you out to his car and buckled you in, ready to head back and smother you with love.
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k9effect · 1 year
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"He's got a soft spot for you, Kazansky."
"I know, Sir."
Some injured!Mav doodles which were all gonna be posted separately but go quite well together actually ahah
I don't know if people notice, but i sometimes draw Mav with an eyebrow slit. It's not because he thinks its fashionable or anything, its from an accident he was in where he got a nasty deep cut across his brow. Some debris tried to take his eye out but just missed its mark. The cut scarred over and the hair never grew back.
The first drawing is of that accident (the world needs more bloodied Mav). The second is when Ice first got to him in hospital. And the third is when they got home and Ice managed to actually get Mav to rest instead of bouncing off the walls like he usually would.
[Click for better quality, reblogs and tags appreciated]
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sarahsmi13s · 9 months
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Rocks Are Allowed to Crack, Stars Are Allowed to Dim
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pairing: jake 'hangman' seresin x fem!pilot!reader
characters: jake seresin, y/n nivans, the daggers, pete mitchell, penny benjamin, diego and benny harding (oc father and son)
warnings: 18+ MDNI, angst, language, ptsd, description of accident, panic attack, injuries, descriptions of scars, flashbacks, fear of death, familial death (mentioned), crying, bottling up feelings, please please let me know if i missed any
word count: ~8.0k
a/n: this has been sitting in my docs and on my wheel for at least a year (please forgive the awkward moments). so i figured i'd take a sliver of the wheel and make him a little lighter! i've also been in a funk lately, so i thought getting something out there might help!
quick summary: everyone deserves someone to comfort them in their time of need, even the ones that always lend their shoulder
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Ah, yes, dogfight football. Maverick’s way of creating a team. You play offense and defense at the same time. Tackling each other into the sand, sometimes into the water. It may be chaotic, but it’s fun and a great team building exercise.
Which is why you hated that you were running a little behind.
You sighed as you got out of your car and walked over to where Penny was sitting at the table. 
You placed your aviators on your head, “I’m not late am I?” Penny chuckled and shook her head, “Just in time. Want a beer before you go?” You shook your head, “Nah, I’m okay right now. Care to watch my stuff?” 
The brunette gestured to the items in front of her, chuckling, “I’m watchin’ everyone else's. I don’t see why not.” You chuckled and sat your wallet, phone, and keys down, as well as your sunglasses. You slipped off your shorts, folding them and laying them down.
“Nivans!” 
You turned at the call of your last name, brows raised in curiosity. 
 It was Maverick. 
“Hurry up and get down here!”
You turned to Penny, “This is gonna be fun.” You both laughed before you jogged across the sand to meet everyone by the water. 
“Sorry I’m late, Mav.” 
Maverick shook his head, “You’re not late, Rockstar. Can’t be late for fun.” 
“Not gonna take your t-shirt off?” Phoenix asked when you stood beside her. You shook your head, “Nah, I’m good.” 
Hangman sighed, “That’s a shame.” 
You chuckled at him and bent down to throw a handful of sand at him. 
“Watch it, Rockstar,” Hangman said, his voice light as he glared at you playfully.
“Or what, Hangman?” You challenged, eyes narrowed but a smile pulled at your lips.
Now, you and Hangman joked like this all the time. You considered each other best friends, which confused everyone else on base. 
Jake Seresin was an asshole. He was cocky and arrogant. You, Y/N Nivans, were not an asshole. Quite the opposite, actually. 
You were humble while still knowing your worth, but also showing anybody up if they proposed a challenge, and not being sour when you lost. 
Jake went out looking for competition, you let it come to you. 
You were also probably the sweetest thing to walk the planet. Most certainly the sweetest to walk the airstrip. 
You were nice to everyone, always giving someone the benefit of the doubt until they truly proved they were an asshole. 
You also took care of your team, they were your family. You always had the door open if someone needed to talk. Your arms were wide open when they showed up in the middle of the night because they had a nightmare and couldn’t shake it. You were their rock.
So, when you walked into the Hard Deck that first day of the Uranium Mission and hugged Hangman, everyone was confused — except Coyote who knew you from a year prior. But they didn’t verbally question you, choosing instead to ponder in private.
Hangman sighed, “Come on, Rocky. You're giving your enemy the advantage.” He tugged at your shirt and pulled you into his arms. 
You laughed and pushed him away by his chest, “You’re gonna have to catch me first.” Hangman cocked his head to the side, “Oooh, that’s how it is?” You nodded, a smirk playing on your lips, “That’s how it is.” 
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You panted as you used your shirt to wipe the sweat from your face. 
When you let go of your shirt you raised your arms, calling for the ball. They threw it to you and you took off for your endzone. 
You felt the sand shift and you knew Hangman was behind you. You had to get rid of the ball, so you called out to your teammate, “Phoenix!” She ran ahead of you and you threw her the ball.
As soon as the ball was out of your hand, Hangman tackled you to the ground. 
You laughed as you laid on your stomach, arms out in front of you. 
“What was that about ‘catching you’?” Jake grunted from above you.
You didn’t have to look at him to know he was smirking. “Haha, very funny Hangman. Now get off, you’re heavy.” 
“First, ouch. Second, nah, you’re comfy.” You laughed and shook your head, attempting to push off the ground and basically buck him off. 
But, Hangman wouldn’t let you, laughing as he moved and made you fall back down.
In this new position, Hangman was putting pressure on a certain part of your back and panic shot through you. 
“Seriously, dude, get up,” you tried to say with a laugh, not wanting to sound rude or like you were mad at him. He just smiled and rested his chin on his hands. 
You closed your eyes and tried to control your breathing, but the waves hitting you pushed you over the edge. 
“Jake, get the fuck off me.” You didn’t mean to sound harsh but you were panicking.
Jake was surprised by your tone, along with the use of his first name. He immediately got up and held out a hand for you to take but you just got up and ran to the table. 
“Rockstar, where you going?” Maverick asked. You called out while still running, “I need a break for a minute.” 
You got to the table, “Is it unlocked?” Penny nodded, “Yeah, why?” “Bathroom break.” Penny just nodded again and watched you take your sunglasses with you as you jogged inside.
Rooster ran over and hit Jake’s arm, “What did you do, Hangman?” Jake shook his head, “I’m not sure.” He put his hands on his hips and watched you disappear into the bar. 
He felt bad, he wanted to chase after you and apologize but he didn’t know what he did. 
“Well, you seemed to piss her off,” Phoenix said, shoving the ball into his chest. 
Maverick looked at Penny but she just shrugged, meaning you didn’t say much.
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You ran into the bathroom, throwing yourself into a stall.  
You leaned over the toilet and waited to throw up. Tears had started running down your face the minute you stepped in the bar. You coughed and sobbed lightly as you tried to control your breathing. 
After a few minutes of that, the nausea subsided and you slowly stood to go to the sink. 
You turned the cold water on and splashed your face. 
“Shit…” 
You closed your eyes as the tight feeling in your chest loosened. You let out a shaky breath and looked in the mirror, cringing at the puffiness around your eyes. You grabbed your sunglasses and slipped them on before leaving the bathroom.
When you stepped outside you saw Maverick and Penny talking, and when you sat down they stopped talking and looked at you concerned. 
“You alright? Gave Hangman quite the scare for a second,” Mav asked, squaring his shoulders to you. You nodded, resting your forearms on the table. “Yeah, I’m fine.” You rubbed your forehead, “Hey Pen-” 
Before you could finish your sentence, a beer was sat in front of you, causing you to giggle, “Read my mind.”
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As he continued to play, Jake still couldn’t get over the fact that you called him ‘Jake’ during a day out. 
It wasn’t that you never did, but it was rare that you called anyone by their first name. 
But it wasn’t just that, it was the way you said that really made him worry. He had never heard your voice sound like that before.
He looked at you from his spot on the beach, noticing you didn’t come back to join in the fun. 
Hangman walked up to Phoenix, worried that he had really upset you and wanted help from the girl you were closest to. “You don’t really think I pissed her off, do you?” 
She sighed, “I don’t know, Hangman. Even if you did, I doubt she could stay mad at you for long. She can't be mad at anyone for very long.”
Jake nodded and watched you stand up from your spot at the table.
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You finished your beer and stood up, “I’m gonna head out.” 
Maverick frowned, “You sure you’re okay, Y/N?” 
“Yeah, I’m okay. I just really need to shower. I’ve got sand in places sand shouldn’t be,” you said with a light laugh. 
“Okay, drive safe. I’ll see you in the morning.” 
“Yes, sir.” You collected your stuff and headed to your car.
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Jake noticed you leaving and tilted his head, “Hey…” He patted Coyote on the shoulder. “I’ll be right back.” 
He jogged up to the table to ask Maverick if he knew anything.
“Is she okay?” Hangman asked as soon as he came to a stop. Maverick shrugged, not looking up at the pilot, “She seemed okay. Said she needed to shower.” 
Jake let out a breath, “So she isn’t mad at me?” 
“I didn’t say that. But as far as I can tell, she’s just tired.” 
Jake licked the sweat off his upper lip, putting his hands on his hips as he looked down. 
“Hangman, honey, just go talk to her. If she’s upset with you, she’ll be honest about it,” Penny encouraged, giving Jake a small smile. He nodded and jogged to go find you before you left. 
You were standing by your car, the door opened as you moved to get in when he approached. 
“Hey, Y/N,” Jake called as he walked over to you. You smiled, “Hey, Hangman.” 
Jake swallowed, “Look, I’m sorry about earlier. I was just messing around. I did-” 
You held your hand up, cutting him off, “Jake, I’m not mad at you. I know you were just playing. But your tackle jump started my bladder and I wasn’t kidding when I said you were heavy.” You giggled a bit to show him you were teasing.
Hangman visibly relaxed at the sound, “Okay, good. I know I like to get under everyone’s skin. Sometimes I don’t know when to knock it off. I–” 
You held up your hand, cutting him off. “Jake, I can handle your teasing. Yeah, you can get a little mean. But I know it’s all a big show. Come here,” you opened your arms and made grabby hands at Jake. 
He just shook his head and chuckled, pulling you in by your outstretched hands and letting them find their place around his built torso. 
He rubbed his hand on your back, nearly missing the slight tensing right beneath your shoulder blades before they relaxed. His brow furrowed but he didn’t mention it, thinking that maybe it was you tightening your arms around him. 
He kissed the top of your head before you pulled away. 
“Geez, Jake, you’re sweaty.” 
“You’re not too dry yourself, Rockstar.” You laughed and playfully shoved him away. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N.” You smiled and slid into your car, “I’ll kick your ass tomorrow Hangman.” 
He scoffed leaning on the roof of your car and the open door. “Since when did you get so cocky?” 
You smirked and placed your glasses on your head, forgetting that your eyes could still be red and puffy from earlier. “It’s not cocky if it’s the truth.” 
Jake shook his head and looked back to the shore. “Uh-huh. We’ll see.” He leaned back and patted the top of your car. “Drive safe.” You nodded, and he closed your door. 
He watched you start it up before driving away.
Jake shook his head and made his way back to the group.
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Speaking of the group, they had all noticed the change in Jake when you showed up at the Hard Deck a few months ago. 
While he was still his cocky self, having no shame in bragging and trash talking, he seemed to tone it down when you were around.
They also noticed how he always made sure to find you in the crowd, keeping an eye on you. Coyote joked that you had Hangman wrapped around your finger, that he would be at your side with a simple look. 
Jake was painfully aware of the effect you had on him. 
When he met you a year ago, he was starstruck by your dazzling smile. 
So, naturally, in true Hangman fashion, he flirted with you. 
With a toothpick between his perfect white teeth and his bright green eyes shining under the yellow lights of the bar, he walked up to you. 
“I sure hope no one left you alone.” 
When you turned, eyeing him up and down to take in the uniform, beer bottle popping as it left your mouth, his breath was ripped from his lungs. 
“Well, you’re here now. I’m not alone.” 
Seeing your smile up close caused Hangman to blush, and leaving him thankful that his tan could somewhat hide it. 
“Well, ain’t I special.” 
You nodded, giggling while looking down at the bar, “That you are. But, before this can go any further, I’m gonna be honest, I’m more dedicated to my work than anything else at the moment. And I have to be up by 5, so I’d hate to lead you on.” 
Jake shook his head, but you continued, gesturing around the bar, “I’m sure there are plenty of girls here that would love to get attention from you and give you attention.” 
Jake smiled –not smirked, smiled– while leaning on the bar, “Well, the only one I want attention from is you. Plus, I can’t stay out too late either. Gotta be at work early too, so I guess we’re both clocking in early.” 
None of the feelings that day had been one sided. You also had been starstruck by Hangman. 
He was broad shoulder, tall, tan, and had a voice that could make a girl swoon in a second. But you knew he was a pilot, his uniform gave it away, and you knew how they acted. Except, you liked Jake’s company and decided to talk all night with him. 
Ironically, what you both did for work never came up.
So, imagine the look on Jake’s face when he saw you the next day in your flight suit. 
“You didn’t tell me you were a pilot.” 
You smirked, “You didn’t ask.” 
He shook his head, biting his lower lip to hide his smile but failed. 
You nodded to him, “What do they call you?” 
“Hangman. What about you?” You smiled, “Rockstar.” 
You were able to peg why he earned his callsign very early on but he couldn’t seem to figure yours out. 
Until he had a close call and couldn’t shake it.
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The last day of training had just ended, tomorrow you might not come home, and to say you were nervous was a major understatement. 
As you changed to get ready to go out with the squad, you couldn’t stop shaking. You knew you needed a drink… okay a couple drinks.
While you changed, Hangman was walking around, looking for you. 
When he walked past the locker room, he caught a glimpse of you reaching to pick something up.
He turned to walk in, but stopped when he saw that you only had your pants on. But, before he could stop himself, his eyes trailed up your back; starting from above your waistline on your pants and going up. 
Then he stopped, his eyes widening when he saw the large scar that looked fairly new – maybe a year or so old. It spanned from the middle of your left shoulder blade to nearly below your ribcage and was positioned diagonally across your back. 
Jake quickly looked away, realizing that you must have not wanted anyone to see it if you hadn’t told him. 
His brow furrowed as questions ran through his mind. Was that why you freaked out during dogfight football, the other day? Why you always tense up when you get an unexpected touch there? 
Shit… He thought, feeling like a horrible friend for never noticing and never asking. 
Jake took a deep breath and walked away, choosing to approach the locker room differently and pretend he never saw you. 
He put on a smile and walked back towards the locker room, “Hey, Rockstar! You almost ready?” He stopped just short of the door, leaning his back against the wall. 
Your head jerked up as you pulled your t-shirt down. “Uh, yeah, Hangman. I’ll be ready in a second.” 
You finished getting ready and walked out, jumping slightly when he pushed off the wall. 
“Geez Hang, don’t do that!” You punched his arm. 
“Gosh, I forgot how hard you punch.” He chuckled and rubbed the spot on his arm as you both walked to the parking lot.
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You all sat in the Hard Deck, drinking and playing pool.
“Dude, she’s kicking your ass!” Payback laughed as he clapped Hangman on the shoulder. 
You were, in fact, kicking Jake’s ass in pool. You couldn’t help the giggle that escaped as the blond narrowed his eyes at Payback. 
“Yeah, you feelin’ okay? You’ve been off your game tonight Bagman,” Rooster commented, smirking as he drank his alcohol. 
Instead of clapping back at the jab, Jake just rolled his eyes and lined up his shot. 
That made you frown, Hangman always had a comeback. Always had sarcastic quips to embarrass the other person. But he was silent. 
You made eye contact when he stood, silently asking if he was okay. He just nodded and moved to sink another pool ball. 
You didn’t want to drop it, but you did for the sake of having fun before facing the chance of death tomorrow.
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Sometime later, after a few rounds of pool and drinks, you all stood around and just talked.
“Hey, did you guys hear about that one pilot that saved her WSO’s life when they got shot down?” Bob asked, looking around the group. 
You clenched your jaw slightly, but not enough for anyone to notice. 
“Bob, that happens all the time. It’s kinda what we do,” Phoenix said, squeezing his shoulder. 
Rooster stood up and sat his beer down. “No, not the way this pilot did. Bob, I know who you’re talking about. I read the mission file, the only thing that was classified was the pilot and WSO’s names.” 
You swirled the beer in your glass, not looking up from the amber liquid. “Did the pilot survive?” 
When you finished asking, you looked up, trying to ignore the watchful eyes of Hangman as you met Rooster’s eyes. 
The latter nodded, “Uh, yeah. Yeah, she did. But she had a pretty serious injury. I’m not sure if she was ever clear to fly again.” 
You nodded and looked back down at your glass. 
“And the WSO?” Jake asked, eyeing you as you downed the rest of your drink before looking at Rooster and Bob. 
“He survived. But I don’t know if he still flies,” Bob answered. 
“Well, that’s good that they both survived,” you said, your smile returning to your face. 
Rooster shook his head a bit, “Yeah, but that pilot pulled a risky move. Saving some like that…” 
Your smile dropped a bit, “People have their reasons.” You raised your glass, “I’m gonna go get another drink.”
Hangman watched you leave as the conversation changed into something more light hearted. 
Jake took a step to go after you but Coyote caught his arm. “Hey, come on. Play me in a round of pool. Let’s see if you still got your game.” Jake looked from his friend back to you and saw you laughing with Penny and Maverick at the bar. That allowed him to relax a little bit. 
“Oh, I still got my game. Let’s see if you found yours,” he smirked. “There he is!” Coyote laughed and clapped Jake on the back.
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As Jake played pool with Coyote, you talked with Penny and Maverick. 
“Are you serious?” 
You nodded, laughing at Penny’s reaction to you telling her how you and Jake met. 
“Pen, why are you surprised? Hangman flirts with every girl,” Maverick said, using his hand to point the direction of the mentioned pilot. You and Penny both nodded your agreement. 
“Sounds familiar,” Penny says, a playful grin on her face making Maverick roll his eyes.
You had become so invested in your conversation with Penny and Mav, that you missed Rooster coming up behind you.
He placed his hand on your back, right on your scar, making you tense and jump in surprise.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare ya’ Rocky,” he took his hand off and leaned on the bar. 
“You doin’ okay? You seemed a bit…” He glanced back at the group, thinking of the right word. “...tense a minute ago.” 
You bit the inside of your lip, had you really been that obvious? 
Still, you nodded and gave him your best smile. 
But to him, he could see that it didn’t reach your eyes. He may not have been your best friend, but he had seen plenty of your genuine smiles and this one did not make your eyes shine like the others. 
Bradley decided not to press, “Okay…” He turned to Penny, “Penny, could we get another round?” The bartender nodded, “Of course, but you’re reaching your cut off.” 
Penny had set a cut off for drinks for the pilots not wanting them to go into this mission hungover. You chuckled and glanced back at the group, all of them messing around and having fun. “Yes ma’am.” 
You turned to Rooster and then back down to your empty glass. Penny hadn’t refilled it yet, having started a conversation with you as soon as you came over. 
You glanced at your watch, seeing that you had been there for a couple hours. 
Penny sat a tray down, placing the full glasses on top. “There you are, Rooster. Who’s tab?”
Rooster opened his mouth to tell her to put it on his, but you beat him to it, “Put it on mine Pen.” 
“You got the last round, Rockstar,” Rooster argued. You shrugged, “I don’t mind. Plus, I’m closing my tab for tonight.” 
“What? You’re heading out already?” You nodded, sliding Penny your card, “I’m hitting my limit, Roos.” 
Bradley searched your eyes for a moment, looking for any indication that something was wrong.
You were usually the one that made sure everyone was okay to go home and if they needed rides; so leaving early rung bells in Rooster’s head. 
Penny gave you your card and receipt, “Thank you.” “Thanks Pen,” you gave her a smile before turning back to Rooster. 
“Tell ‘em I’m heading out. I know if I do it I won’t be able to leave.” You gave him a one armed hug and turned to Maverick, “See you in the morning, Captain.” 
“See you in the morning, Rockstar.” 
Penny gently squeezed your hand, giving you a small smile as you slid off the bar stool and walked out. 
Rooster, Maverick, and Penny watched you leave the building before turning to each other, concern written all over their faces. 
“Is she okay? She’s been acting a little off ever since dogfight football the other day,” Penny asked the two pilots. 
They both shrugged, Bradley looking up at her. “I was about to ask you the same thing.” 
“I’ve noticed, but I thought it was just because Harvard and Yale had to eject the other day,” Mav admitted. “We were all a little shaken up by that…” 
It was silent for a minute. 
“You know… if one person knows anything, it’d probably be Seresin,” Penny said, pointing over to the pilot, who was very invested in the game he was winning, and basically suggesting that they talk to him. 
Bradley sighed, knowing that Penny was right and if anyone knew you the best, it would be him. He grabbed the tray, thanking Penny and walking over to the group.
They all cheered when he sat the tray down, taking a glass for themselves. 
Jake noticed that there was an extra and he frowned in confusion before he realized it was for you. 
He looked up, eyes searching for you in the crowd, panicking a little when he couldn’t see you, “Where’s Rockstar?” 
Rooster sighed, “She closed her tab and left. Said she reached her limit.” 
Fanboy frowned a little bit, “Why didn’t she just tell us herself?” 
Rooster shrugged, “Said if she did it would take longer for her to leave.” 
“Does she seem different to you guys?” Coyote asked, finally voicing his concern that had buit up over the last few days. 
The group shared a look before making small noises of agreement. 
“I mean, she’s still the same Y/N. Still lighting up a room and being there for us like she always has been… I just… I don’t know.” 
Rooster looked at Jake, “Hangman, you’re like her best friend, do you know anything?” 
Jake shrugged and shook his head, “All I know is she’s nervous for tomorrow and the accident the other day shook her up a bit, but she hasn’t said anything else.” 
He took a large gulp from his beer, hoping to swallow the confession of seeing your scar that he wanted to bring to light.  You trusted Jake and he wasn’t about to ruin that by telling the squad what he saw when he wasn’t even supposed to know it was there.
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Meanwhile, you walked the beach, taking in the fresh and salty air. You just needed the quiet time before you went home.
You sighed and pulled out your phone, seeing a text from Hangman and laughing slightly at the message.
Hangboy: Hey, I get that I kicked your ass those last few rounds of pool, but you could have told me you were leaving. I would have walked you out. Text me when you get home. 
Also, there was an extra beer. I assume it was meant for you, but you left so I drank it. Don’t worry though, I can handle it.
You shook your head and opened your phone, but not to text Jake.
You went to your contacts and pressed the caller ID, putting the phone to your ear as it rang. 
“Hey, Rockstar, what's up? It’s been awhile.” 
You smiled, sighing, “Sure has been, Tundra. How are you? How’s the little one?” “I’m good. Ben is great, he wants to know when you’ll be by again to visit.” 
You giggled at the fact the 6 year old wanted to see you. “Soon… hopefully.” “Y/N, I know that voice. Is it happening again?” You shook your head, despite the fact that Tundra couldn’t see you. 
“No, no. Well, sorta, but this is different Diego.” You heard him shift, presumably crossing his arms. “What do you mean?” 
You sighed, remembering that you couldn’t share all that much about the mission, even if he was former Navy. 
“I don’t know how much I can tell you. But I got called back to TopGun, and I could be flying out on a mission tomorrow. A dangerous one.” 
“Y/N, do they know?” 
You shook your head again, this time to fight tears. “No, but I’m scared that mid air, I’m gonna freeze. I don’t wanna freeze, Diego. I haven’t frozen since our incident. But I don’t know what’s been wrong these past couple of weeks. I can’t seem to shake off this dread… this-this fear. I do-don’t-” 
He cut you off, “Have you talked to anyone recently?” 
You were silent and he took that as a no. “Y/N, you have to talk about it if you ever want to move past it.”  “I did though. I had mandated therapy for my entire time in recovery.” “And have you been since you recovered?”
You threw a hand up, frustrated, “I thought I was past it! I hadn’t had an attack in a year, not until we were playing football. I-I thought it was just a one time thing, and then something happened during training and I just-” 
You were cut off by a small, tired voice. 
“Is that Aunt Y/N?” 
“It is. Do you want to talk to her? I think she needs to talk to you.” “Yes, please!” You smiled as you heard the phone go to speaker and then be passed to the little boy. 
“Hey, Aunt Y/N!” 
You smiled, tears finally falling, “Benarino, hey buddy.” “I miss you. When are you coming to visit?” You wiped at your eyes with a shaking hand. “Soon, buddy. Really soon,” you sniffled. 
“Aunt Y/N, why are you crying?” 
You laughed, coughing a little at the end, “I just really miss you Benny. I can’t wait to see you.” 
You looked back at the Hard Deck, seeing your fellow pilots laugh and sing. 
“I’m gonna bring a friend too. If that’s okay with your mom and dad?” “That’s alright with me, Rockstar. I’m sure Lila won’t mind.” 
“Who is it?” 
You brought playfulness into your voice, “You remember the pilot I told you about? The one that thought he could fly better than your Aunt Rocky?” 
The little boy giggled, “Yeah!” “Well, I think it’s about time you brought home the boy that stole your heart.” 
“Diego,” you hissed. “We are just friends.” “Mhmm, sure.” You scoffed, rolling your eyes, “You should probably get Ben to bed before Lila wakes up.” 
You heard Diego grunt as he picked up his son, “Goodnight Benny Boy.” “G’night Aunt Y/N.” 
“Call me when you make it back.” You nodded, hand sliding into your back pocket, “Yeah, of course. Night Tundra.” “Night Rockstar.” 
The call ended and you slid your phone into your unoccupied back pocket.
You took in a deep breath, trying to relax again. In through the nose, out through the mouth. In, out. 
On an inhale, the scent of smoke filled your nostrils and it made you hold your breath.
Quickly looking around, you spotted a bonfire a couple yards away. Realizing it was harmless, you let out the breath and tried to relax your shoulders.
But, despite knowing it was completely harmless, your body went into a state of panic. Your chest tightened, limbs went numb, pain spread through your back, and tears filled your eyes. 
You held a hand to your chest, the air stopping just before it made it to your lungs, and stumbled to your car as fast as you could, hoping you weren’t seen by your friends inside the bar.
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Jake looked at his phone as he left the bar. You hadn’t texted him, and by now you definitely should have been back to your on base bungalow. 
Hangman wasn’t going to panic, he knew you well enough that you would have texted or called him if something bad happened. Of course he felt anxious, who wouldn’t, but he was going to remain calm. 
The reason you hadn’t texted him when you got home was because the moment you fumbled yourself into your place, you booked it for the bathroom. 
Your knees smacked into the tile and you threw up whatever alcohol you had consumed before the strangled sob ripped itself from your throat. You crumbled to the tile as your chest refused to let air in. 
Your skin felt hot and sticky, sweat coating it as you laid on your bathroom floor. It wasn’t helping you, your damp, hot skin sending you back to one of the worst days of your life.
So, in a frenzy, you ripped off your shirt and kicked off your shoes and socks before yanking your pants off, not even loosening your belt. 
You crawled over the tub wall, too dizzy to properly stand, before fumbling with the knob to turn the water on. 
Once you got it turned on, you jostled the faucet switch, a desperate sob escaping as it kept falling down before it finally stuck, turning the shower on and drenching you in water.
And that was how Jake found you.
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Jake decided to stop by your place and check on you, that being his only option to get his anxiety to go away. 
When he pulled up to your place and saw your car there, he let out a breath of relief. 
He parked his truck behind your car and ran to your door, his chest lighter than before.
But his chest became heavy again when he made it to your door only to find it unlocked. You rarely left your door unlocked, if ever.
He cautiously pushed it open, looking around to see if anything was out of place. 
Your keys were on the floor, your phone and wallet not too far from them. 
Jake walked further in, making sure to close and lock the door behind him. 
He held his breath as he looked for you. But his search was cut short when he heard the shower running. 
He exhaled and had to take a minute to calm the drumming in his chest. 
He cautiously walked to the bathroom, making sure to knock before walking in. He kept his head down so he didn’t see anything he wasn’t supposed to… again. 
“Hey I was-” 
The door stopped, hitting something on the floor. 
Hangman squinted his eyes in confusion. It was your shoe. He kicked it out of the way and pushed the door open enough for him to just step in and close it. 
He stopped with his hand on the door, realizing that the room didn’t feel like a sauna. There was no fog covering the mirrors and steam wasn’t filling the small space. You always showered hot, and right now the bathroom was freezing. 
Jake finally looked up and saw you curled in the shower, the water cascading from the faucet and hitting your back. It was obvious you had been there for a while because you were shivering. 
Jake sat on the edge of the tub cautiously, not wanting to startle you.
His heart broke at the sound of your quiet crying and the puffy redness of your eyes was a sight Jake never wanted to see again.
The eyes that usually held the brightness of the stars and a kindness that was unmatched, were now red, distant, and constantly filled with tears that fell over and mixed with the water drenching you. 
He hated it.
Jake held his hand under the water and recoiled at how cold it was. 
“Shit,” he cursed as he quickly turned it off. 
When you didn’t react, he knew you truly weren’t in this reality. 
“Y/N,” he spoke gently and touched your arm. He sharply inhaled when he discovered how cold you were. “Y/N, darlin’, we need to dry you off and get you in some warm clothes. You’ll get sick.” 
Jake wasn’t sure if you heard him because you just stared ahead, biting on your nail. He sighed and pulled your hand away from your mouth. 
He moved to pull his hand back but you grabbed it, your freezing cold hand latching onto his warm one. “Please don’t… Jake, please don’t leave.” 
Your voice was quiet and broken, raw with fear. And he was sure that sent a shiver up his back.
Jake quickly shifted to kneel beside the tub, his thumb rubbing back and forth on your hand. “I’d never leave you hangin’.” 
He looked you over, “Can I pick you up?” You nodded, letting his hand slip from your grip and feel it wrap under your legs.
He awkwardly shifted to lean over and pick you up, grunting a little as stood up. He was too pressed about his clothes getting wet, he’s sure he’s got pants somewhere around here.
Jake managed to open the bathroom door and walked to your bedroom. 
He sat you on the bed and quickly grabbed the towel on the back of your desk chair. 
Wrapping it around you, Jake kissed the top of your head. “You’re okay. You’re safe,” he spoke gently against your hair.
He pulled back and watched you bite your lip to keep your tears hidden.
You avoided his eyes, looking at your shaking hands. 
“I’m gonna get you some clothes, okay?” You slowly nodded, lip trembling before you bit down on it again.
Your eyes didn’t follow him as he walked around your room, but your ears were very aware of Jake’s noises; everything from his footsteps to his mumbling. 
In under five minutes, neatly folded clothes were placed beside you and Jake kneeled in front of you, his large hands resting on your biceps gently. 
“Do you want me to stay while you change?” 
It took you a second to register what he had asked, but he was patient and rubbed reassuring circles on your arms with his thumbs. 
You inhaled, the familiar scent of his cologne calming you down a bit. 
You were tempted to say yes, you didn’t want to be alone but you also didn’t want Jake to see you any more vulnerable than he already has. 
You shook your head, unconsciously pulling the towel tighter around you. 
Jake noticed it and nodded, “Okay, I’ll go tidy up your bathroom and throw some blankets in the dryer to fluff them up and get ‘em warm.” He gave you a small smile and stood, leaving the room and the door open just a crack.
You managed to peel off the wet bra and underwear, drying off before changing. 
That simple task was exhausting. It felt like your bones had turned to rocks and your muscles no longer existed. But eventually, you did it.
You haphazardly dried your hair, basically just dry enough to where it wasn’t dripping, and walked into the small living room. 
You sat on the couch, deciding to occupy your hands with your oversized shirt while you waited for Jake. 
Minutes later he was on the couch beside you, wrapping you in the fresh-out-of-the-dryer blanket. 
“Thank you…” Your voice had a rawness to it that made Jake shiver, something was really wrong and he didn’t know how to help.
He nodded and rubbed your upper back, “Of course.”
He sat there for a moment, just listening to your sniffles and weeping exhales, before finally turning to face you. 
“What’s going on? ‘Cause this-” He gestured to you and your current state. “-is way more than just nerves for tomorrow.” 
“I’ll be-” 
“If you say ‘fine’, I swear,” he sighed to control his volume. “Y/N, you are not fine.” 
“Jake…”
The blond pilot took a deep breath, looking at the sliver of couch cushion between you. “I saw it…” 
If you weren’t going to be honest, then he needed to be. Maybe what he saw is connected to what was shaking you to your core all of a sudden.
He finally looked up at you and watched your breathing halt as fear filled your eyes. 
Jake continued, making sure to keep his tone even, “I didn’t mean to. I was just looking for you in the locker room today and I-” He stopped talking when you choked out a small cry. 
He immediately pulled you into his lap, one hand going to the back of your head and the other arm wrapped around your lower back. “I got you… I got you.”
Jake closed his eyes and rocked you a little as his mind went back to the day these roles were reversed.
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Jake had sat in the locker room, flight suit half off and tied around his waist. His knee bouncing as his eyes went in and out of focus. 
“Hangman!” You called as you ran down the hall. But he couldn’t hear you with the blood still rushing in his ears. 
“Hangman! Hang- There you are!” You jogged to him and saw that his emerald eyes were blank, not the playful or confident eyes you normally saw. “Hey, Hang- Jake what’s wrong?” You knelt in front of him, putting a hand on his bouncing knee to stop it.
Jake looked at you, the concern swimming in your eyes breaking whatever resolve he had left. 
The tears he tried so hard to hold in finally spilled down his cheeks. 
You instantly cupped his face in your hands, wiping them away, “What’s got you so shaken up? I’ve never seen you like this.” 
He shook his head, pushing your hands away as he sat up and leaned against the locker. “You’re not supposed to.” 
You sighed and leaned back on your heels, “What happened up there?” 
Jake wiped the still flowing tears, shaking his head, “I don’t know. I guess- Fuck I don’t know, Rockstar.” 
You stood, “Talk to me, Jake. Please, I’m your friend and I want to help.” 
Your tone was desperate and worried. This was a new version of Jake that you would have never seen if you hadn’t followed him off the tarmac.
Hangman finally got the guts to grab your hand and squeeze it. He took a deep breath as he tried to collect himself. 
“I almost lost you up there. You’re one of my closest friends, we’ve only known each other for a few months and I feel like we’ve known each other forever. I never let myself be that close to anyone, but you made it so easy.” 
His voice was raw and shaky. He was scared, but you couldn’t blame him. What just happened to you both was really intense and it was scary. But you were both okay.
You squeezed his hand back, giving him a soft but encouraging smile. 
“Can we just- Shit this is gonna sound so weird…” 
You knew where he was going, so you straddled his legs and wrapped him in a hug. “I got you Jake, I got you.”
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That was when Jake realized the backstory to your call sign. You were everyone’s rock. You kept everyone sane, even at the expense of yourself.
Which is why you were currently shaking and sobbing in his arms. You never sought out comfort for your problems, a bad habit you picked up in high school. You always put everyone first, and you had it in your head that you couldn’t be vulnerable. 
You pulled away from him, not meeting his eyes, “I’m sorry…” 
“Why the fuck are you apologizing?” 
“Because I-” 
“Because you’re being vulnerable in front of someone?” You nodded, unconsciously playing with your fingers. “Look at me, please.” You did, biting your lip to hold your tears in. 
“You are allowed to be vulnerable. You are allowed to cry. You are allowed to be scared. You shouldn’t have to hide your feelings from your friends. I’m sorry if we ever made you feel like you couldn’t talk to us.” 
You nodded, staying silent, focusing on how Jake had moved his hand from the back of your head to your cheek to rub his thumb back and forth on your cheekbone. 
Your silence broke his heart a little bit, making him think you didn’t trust him. But he knew he had to be patient with you. 
He goes to move his hand away but you hold it there. “I thought I was over it…” 
“Over what, Sweetheart?” 
“The accident…” 
Jake pushed some hair behind your ear, “What accident?” 
You took a deep breath, closing your eyes as a few tears rolled down your cheeks. He wiped them away as he spoke softly, “Take your time…” You nodded, swallowing as you tried to catch your bearings. 
“A year before I was stationed with you, I was flying a mission. It was dangerous, but still fairly routine. On my way out, I got hit. It completely destroyed my weapons system. Before I could get back up, I was hit again. This time it took out my engine.” You took another deep breath, looking up at the ceiling. 
“We were dropping altitude fast and my WSO and I had to eject. We landed on a beach, we unbuckled so fast,” you chuckled, remembering the relief you and Diego felt before the shit hit the fan.
Jake smiled a little bit at the sound, but dropped it when you started talking again.
“However the jet had also crashed onto the beach too. The fuel had leaked and caused an explosion. I covered my WSO, and a piece of scrap metal lodged itself into my back.” 
Jake’s eyes widened, more dots connecting in his mind, “You’re the pilot the squad was talking about at the bar…” 
You nodded, wiping your eyes, “Jake, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. It’s just… when I was in recovery, if I wanted to fly again, I had to go through therapy. And I haven’t had an attack in a year…” You got choked up again, hot tears rolling down your face, “Hang, I’m so sorry.” 
He shook his head, using both of his hands to wipe your face, “Hey, don’t be sorry. Do I wish you would have told me sooner? Hell yeah, but I understand why you didn’t.” You just nodded and relaxed into his hands.
“What happens when you have an attack?” 
You took a sharp inhale through your nose before sighing it out, “It depends. I sometimes get flashbacks of the beach, everytime I close my eyes I just see fire and it’s fucking terrifying. Other times, when it gets really bad, I can feel pain in my back, but that’s rare.” 
You bit your lip a little as you looked away, and Jake knew, “That happened tonight didn’t it?” You nodded, coughing a little bit, “Yeah, uh, yeah it did.” 
“Was it because we talked about-” 
“No," you said quickly. "W-well, I mean kinda… yeah. But there was a bonfire happening on the beach, and just the two things… my brain went into panic mode. Before you ask, I don’t really know what triggers it. But during dogfight football-” 
Jake’s eyes widened and he dropped his hands, “Fuck, Y/N, I’m so sorry. I had no idea.” 
“Exactly, Jake, you had no idea. It’s not your fault. It was just the pressure on my scar made me panic, and I was back on that damned beach. But I’m not mad or upset with you because you had no idea. So don’t beat yourself up, please.” 
Jake nodded, bringing you into a hug again, being mindful of the scar. “Jake, you can touch it. I know I’m safe.” He said nothing and brought a hand to run over the covered scar before tightening his hug. 
“Can you tell me about him? Your WSO?” 
You nodded, “Diego Harding, call sign Tundra. He has a wife and a son.”
“That’s why you-” 
“Yeah, that’s why I covered him. He had a family to go back to.” 
“What about you?” 
You sighed again, using Jake’s shoulders to sit up, “Most of my family served. My dad was killed in action when I was young. My mom died when I was a teenager, leaving Piers to raise me for a little bit. Then Piers goes and sacrifices himself… so I didn’t have anyone to come home too.” 
You shrugged and got off his lap, but snuggled into his side.
He rubbed lazy circles on your bicep. “Well now you do.” You looked up at him confused, “What?” 
“You’ve got me to come home to, and I’ve got you.” He placed a chaste kiss on your forehead. “Don’t get sappy on me, Seresin.” He just chuckled.
It was silent for a moment. 
“Promise me that you’ll do your best to fly back to me,” he asked in a hushed whisper as if he were telling you a secret.
“Only if you do,” you whispered back.
He held out his pinky, “I promise.” You nodded, interlocking your pinky with his, “I promise too.” 
“Can’t break that now, you know,” he chuckled, squeezing your pinky a little. You giggled a little before yawning, “I know, cowboy.”
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