#but i passed everything and can start working now since i have my academic transcripts and all that so yay !

[teethclawsmonsterjaws]

So I got covid. Aside from feeling like utter hell for a few days I seem to be fine though ! Safe to say this year has been horrible in many ways, but in some good news lately..

I have finally finished my time at University and am (basically) graduating for good !!

[pinoyrella]

“A Love So Beautiful” Chapter 6

Chapter 6: “It’s Not A Big Deal”

FT: Tsukishima Kei, Yamaguchi Tadashi, Hinata Shoyo, Kageyama Tobio, Yachi Hitoka, Ono-Sensei, Y/N’s Parents + Manami Aoki.

TW: Mild Language

Genre: Fluff, Comedy, Angst, Coming of Age + Slow Burn

- This chapter contains mostly drama, and fluff thanks to Kageyama.

- This chapter is also slight Kageyama x Y/N

WORD COUNT: 4,800+

“A LOVE SO BEAUTIFUL” Masterlist 🌸

A/N: BA BOOM! Hi everyone, I hope I didn’t leave you guys hanging too long with that cliff hanger??? Anyways, I hope you enjoy! Thank you so much for the endless support, LUB YOU ALL!!💖

The sound of an alarm brings you to consciousness. Keeping yourself under your covers, you turn to glance at the clock, ‘07:00a.m’. It’s been two days since Karasuno had defeated Shiratorizawa. It’s been two days since you’ve gone outside. It’s been two days since you last saw him.

Groaning as you slip the warmth weight of your blanket off, you step out of bed feeling the cold tile of your bedroom floor chill you. Making your way to the bathroom, you stop by the sink, staring at your reflection.

Throughout the weekend, you have cried yourself to bed. For the past three nights in a row, waking up tired, red and sore eyes every morning. You have barely left anywhere but your room, only making occasional trips to the bathroom, and to the kitchen.

Being stuck in your room left you with no motivation to do anything at all. You were already behind in all of your studies, but you couldn’t find it in you to move from your bed.

You’ve barely talked to anyone at all, not your friends, not your parents, you’ve isolated yourself to everyone and everything. Is this what heartbreak is like? Is this even considered heart break? What is this?

You barely notice the presence that passes by the bathroom, your dad about to question why you’re just standing in front of the mirror, before his wife pulls him away into the kitchen down the hall.

“Wh- Hun?” “Whatever you’re thinking of doing, don’t do it” “What?” Your dad questions your mom as she lets out a sigh. “Am I not allowed to ask our daughter why she’s been in such a depressing mood for the past weekend?” 

Your mom gives your dad a sincere look of worry, looking towards your direction before back at him. “She’s a growing teenager, she’s going through adolescents. I’m sure she’s fine.” She reassures, your dad giving a sigh of frustration. “You don’t know that, what if somethings wrong? She only came out of her room to grab snacks and use the restroom.”

 “Akiteru-kun called me the other night.” “What?” “He told me Kei-kun and Y/n got into some sort of fight-” “WHAT?!” Your dad is about to storm out to teach the younger Tsukishima a lesson for hurting his precious baby, before his wife stops him yet again. “She’s going to be alright, this is her aftermath from their argument. She fought with one of her best friends, this is a normal reaction. She needs time to herself, you need to be patient until she’s back to normal.” Your mom explains, your dad pausing as he processes the information.

The sound of footsteps approaching the kitchen causes the two to turn their heads to you, as you make your way to the fridge to grab a carton of strawberry milk, not even making eye contact with them before strutting out, getting ready to exit the house for school.

Your parents share a look with each other before letting out another sigh.

“I’m heading off” You say out loud as you slip your shoes on.

You poke the straw into the milk carton as you make your way out your front gate, looking up to realize Tsukishima parked out front on his bike, waiting for you.

Your eyes widen in shock, looking both ways before booking it down the opposite side of the street. The sound of your shoes hitting the ground causes Tsukishima to turn, watching as you run off the opposite way to school.

He lets out a sigh, memories of the past Friday flashing back. He feels the same awful and heavy guilt that’s deep in the pit of his stomach, deciding its best to leave you alone for now, giving you the space you needed, before riding off to school.

You barely make it to class in time, the moment you step in through the door frame, the bell ringing exactly, as the class turns to look at you.

You quickly take a seat, pulling out your notebook and pencils as Ono-sensei makes her way in.

“Good morning class!” She says as the class greets back. “Before we start of the day, let’s take the time to congratulate the four boys in our class, for helping their team make it to Nationals last Friday.”

The class erupts enthusiastically, turning to congratulate the four boys on the volleyball team once again.

You sink your head down, the cheerful attitude making it feel like you were suffocating.

Kageyama’s the first to notice, about to lean forward to tap your shoulder before Ono-sensei resumes her announcement.

“Now that’s over with” She reveals a stack of documents from her podium, dropping it harshly. “I’m sure you are all aware, midterms are approaching.” The class groans in anguish before she continues. “I know, I know. This is the last exam before your finals, the finals that will determine your placement next year.” She glances around the class, her eyes falling on you. “I need you all to start taking this seriously.”

You gulp in your seat as she calls for Manami to pass out the study packets.

“I have assigned you all into study groups of three, you are to complete this packet by the end of next week with your group. Afterwards, we are to take the midterm, understood?”

“Yes” The class replies in sync as she begins reading off her list of groups.

Your brain is spiraling, hoping you’re not placed in the same group as you know who, hoping at least she will spare you from having to work with that stingy bean pole, or at least have one of your close friends with you, for comfort purposes.

“Yachi-chan, Hinata-kun and Kageyama-kun.” You sink as she had just announced that 3 out of the 4 friends you were hoping to be paired up with are called. You are praying to every deity out there, that you will be in a group with Yamaguchi. Better yet, you rather be paired with that she-devil Manami Aoki than Tsukishima.

Just as you thought your prayers were answered- “Y/n-chan, Yamaguchi-kun-” ‘YES!’ You thank the Gods, your mind feeling the content it had deserved all weekend. “and Tsukishima-kun.”

You drop your head to your desk, causing the attention of the class to be drawn to you.

-

You groan into your arms as Yachi tries to help you emotionally. “Y/n?” “Hey” You look up to make eye contact with Manami. “Ono-sensei is calling for you” She says before taking her seat.

You wave to Yachi before making your way out to her office.

“Ono-sensei?” You peak your head in, and she notices you by the door. Getting up from her seat, she greets you, offering for you to sit on the sofa just across her desk. “Y/n-chan, please come in!” You make your way to sit before she shuts the door.

“Manami-chan said you c-called?” You nervously ask, wondering why you were called up into your homeroom teacher’s office.

“Y/n” Her voice, stern as ever. “Your grades, what’s going on?” She questions as she looks directly into your soul.

You gulp yet again as she slips a paper over the desk from her side to yours. You lean closer, seeing the paper adorned with D’s and F’s, scores below 30, and ‘FAIL’ written on the page.

You look up to her, shaken and she’s aware of it. She sighs before her demeanor softens. “You know I didn’t bring you in here just to interrogate you, but I’m concerned. Your grades have been slipping since the beginning of the semester, you used to be in the average zone, now look.” She points to a bar at the end of the transcript. “You are very below average, you are in a very dangerous zone. If you don’t pass this midterm, you won’t qualify to even take the finals. You will have to repeat this semester.” She explains.

You look up to her, eyes watering trying to explain something. She gives you the look of remorse before taking the transcript back to her end, looking at it before looking back to you. “I know this is a very stressful and difficult situation, but you need to know that as your homeroom teacher, I’m here to help and assist you in every way.” 

You whimper a quiet “thank you” before she smiles, then continuing. “I am aware of your close relations to Yamaguchi-kun and Tsukishima-kun.” The names of your two closest friends causes you to glance up to her. “That’s why I paired you up with them for the study group. They’re two of the top students in our class.” She explains as you nod to her.

“They’re also your friend, I can trust them to help you.” You sigh, “Will you be telling my parents?” She adjusts her seating position before gazing back to you. “I already have.” She says before you give her an understanding nod. 

“I know at your age, it’s very stressful with so many events going on. You’re growing and understanding more about yourself, but you also need to grow and understand more of your academics.” You give her another quiet nod, before she lets out a final sigh.

“That’s all I wanted to inform you” She stands from her seat, making her way to the door opening it, before making her way to you, kneeling and placing a hand to your shoulder. “I believe you can do it.” You give her a hug and your thanks before heading out.

Walking down the hall, you wipe your eyes with the sleeve of your cardigan before bumping into someone. “S-sorry!” You squeak before looking up.

“Boss?” Kageyama looks down and notices the red swelling in your eyes. “What happened?” He asks, taking a step closer, using his blazer to wipe off your tear stained cheeks. You sniff before looking up to him and smiling. “It’s not a big deal, come on let's get back to the class!” You grab his wrist, dragging him with you.

As you sit, you watch as Yamaguchi notices you, giving a sweet smile before making his way over. “When do you want to start studying?” He asks you. “I’m alright whenever” You reply. “Tsukki- Um, we’re going to head to my house after school to study, will you be coming?” Your mind takes you back to what Ono-sensei had warned you, this midterm is very important. “Yes, I’ll be there Yams!” He gives your head a pat before going back to his seat.

-

Just as school ends, you make your way home first, informing Yamaguchi you were going to change into something more comfortable, and pick up some of the notebooks you left.

-

Back at home, you make your way in until your parents call out to you. ‘Shit, I forgot Ono-sensei told them about my grades.’ You curse to yourself before making your way to the dining table, sitting as your parents turn to you.

“Y/n” You watch your mom slap your dad’s shoulder. “Baby, we’re not mad” She starts. ‘No, but dad is’ You turn up to glance at your dad, he looks insane trying to conceal the fume burning through his ears. “But-” And so you were scolded by your parents for the next half hour, before finally changing, retrieving your notebooks and heading to Yamaguchi’s.

-

“Y/n!” The cheerful greeting coming from the freckled boy as he lets you in. You walk with him side by side to his room, as you walk in you make eye contact with the boy you were hoping to not see for the next 10 years of your existence. You sit down opposite to him on Yamaguchi’s kotatsu, before preparing your notebook. 

“We’re going to go over what Ono-sensei taught during math” Yamaguchi says, and you give a nod, still avoiding the blonde in front of you.

The tension in the room is absolutely crazy, Yamaguchi thinks of grabbing some snacks for the three of you, but doesn’t think of leaving you two alone in the same room. He stills with his head down to his notebook, thinking of how he can help with the tension in the room.

The sound of scribbling against the poor notebook paper, and the amount of eraser marks left around causes Tsukishima to glance up to your paper, watching as you were way off path from solving the problem.

Just as Yamaguchi had thought of an idea, Tsukishima speaks up.

“The auxiliary line’s wrong.” He states bluntly before bringing his hand closer to grab your notebook. You snap back immediately, pulling your notebook away from his grasp. “There’s answers in the back. I can read it.” You state before taking the math textbook from Yamaguchi, flipping it to the end, finding the question. 

You scan the page, finally finding the question before seeing that it doesn’t give you an exact answer. Tsukishima is aware of that, he knows the textbook like the back of his hand. He watches as you struggle and stare at the page before speaking up again. “Let me show you” he lightly grabs the end of your notebook, bringing it closer to him before you quickly snatch it back, not making eye contact with him. “I’ll do it myself.” You bark.

Yamaguchi sits in the middle, his soul already gone from his earthly body, watching the situation unfold. He has no idea what the fuck to do.

“You only know the word ‘answer’, everything in your notebook is wrong.” “But that’s what I wrote myself. It’s none of your business.” Yamaguchi glances over to Tsukishima, oh no.

“I don’t want to help you at all, but I have to because it’s required in case your grade humiliates the whole class.”

You freeze, the word ‘humiliate’ that left his mouth taking you back to last Friday in the infirmary.

Yamaguchi notices your triggered state before turning to Tsukishima, pissed. “Tsukki, don’t say that-” The sound of your notebook shutting aggressively startles the two as it cuts Yamaguchi off. You begin to shove your belongings into your backpack before looking up at Tsukishima, the first time all day. “Since our good boy Tsukishima Kei says so, I won’t put shame on your great class 4.” You turn to Yamaguchi, before turning back to Tsukishima. “I’m leaving” As you head towards Yamaguchi’s bedroom door, you hear Tsukishima scoff. “Leave? Whatever you like.” “FINE!” You yell before storming out.

-

It’s been another four days since that incident at Yamaguchi’s, you’ve been ignoring both boys. A bit guilty for Yamaguchi, but you didn’t want to drag him down with your ‘humiliating’ grades, you thought to leave him alone so he can focus on his priorities, studying.

You sat at the desk in your room. Your notebooks, stationary, textbooks and study guide sprawled out, but yet you still can’t concentrate. Even worse; your desk faces right outside your bedroom window, with a perfect view to Tsukishima’s. You look up to notice as Tsukishima’s bedroom door opens, watching him walk in before you immediately jump to shut your blinds.

You huff as you sit and stare at the blank page of your notebook for what felt like another hour, before grabbing your hoodie, making your way downstairs and out the front door.

You thought, if you can’t concentrate, you ought to take a stroll to maybe help clear your mind. You feel your throat become hoarse, dried out from the walking before you notice a vending machine. You make your way over, about to purchase a carton of strawberry milk before you realize, you hadn’t brought your wallet with you. Just as you began walking to continue your stroll, you nearly bump into someone.

Immediately apologizing, cursing your mind for being elsewhere rather than the road, you look up to meet the shock expression of a familiar blueberry eyed boy. “Y/n?”

-

And this is where you found yourself, sat outside of Ukai’s shop, besides Kageyama as you play with the straw that is poking out from the milk carton. Kageyama notices your behavior, thus asking why you were walking around almost past the sunset. 

You explain to him how you couldn’t concentrate on studying for the past week, before asking him why he was out.

“I’m just on my daily jog.” He says before looking back out into the sky.

The two of you sat in silence before the growl of your stomach caught the boy’s attention. You blush in embarrassment before he gets up, going back into Ukai’s, only to come out with two kare pans in hand. He takes your hand, pulling you up before handing it to you. The two of you walk, before stopping by a nearby park.

Taking a seat on the swing, you thank Kageyama again before biting into the kare pan.

There is this comfortable silence before your whimpers causes his head to turn to you.

You sit, swaying on the swing as you continue to eat the kare pan in hand. Kageyama, having no idea what to do, reaches out to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear. “What’s wrong?” He asks worried. You look to him as tears continue to stream down your face.

You drop your hand holding the kare pan to your lap, before bringing the sleeve of your hoodie to wipe your eyes.

“Ono-sensei says, if I fail this midterm, I would have to repeat the semester.” Kageyama nods as you continue, listening to the pent up emotions you kept to yourself this past week. “It’s just, it’s not that. It would be pretty stupid to cry over something so small, it’s not a big deal anyways” You admit before he states. “Don’t say that!” You look to him, giving a soft smile before continuing.

“In all honesty, I have no idea what I’m doing.” Your gaze falling back down. “I feel silly to chase after something I know I have no chance with, that I’m not good enough for, better yet, it’s not something meant for me.” You play with the wrapper of the kare pan as Kageyama listens. “Maybe this outcome was inevitable, I mean, I guess it was never meant to be. I’m just not it.” You admit, another tear streaming down. “I had my priorities all wrong.”

Kageyama gives you a look of confusion as he processes your thoughts, then coming with an idea of what you were talking about.

He watches as you bring the kare pan back to your mouth, taking a bite, your  cheerful mood returning after expressing your emotions.

Kageyama can’t help but stare and smile as your face turns into a look of delicious satisfaction from the tasty treat in your hands. You feel his gaze, turning to look back to him, he immediately turns his to the sunset from afar.

“Boss, look” He points as you watch the sun begin to set.

As the sunset catches your eyes, you catch Kageyama’s.

How beautiful the golden hour glow cascades onto your facial features, the way your eyes reflect onto the warm sun, and the smile slowly creeping across your face.

You couldn’t think of anything else but how beautiful the sunset looked, and Kageyama, he couldn’t think of anything else but how beautiful you looked.

The sun finally sets, and you two finish the kare pans in hand. You, actually finishing Kageyama’s too, before the two of you head off.

“I don’t want to go home yet” Kageyama turns his head to you, as you walk slowly.

“Can I show you something?”

-

“Are you sure it’s okay for me to be here? I don’t want to intrude, Tobio!” You whisper to him as he holds the door to his house open for you.

You see as he rolls his eyes with a smile, before grabbing your hand and bringing you in.

He shuts the door behind you and asks for you to follow him, taking you to his backyard.

“Whoa-” You take a step out, as he shuts the sliding door behind you.

“Your backyard is huge! Is that an entire volleyball court?” You point to the volleyball net that spreads across his yard. “Did you invite me over just to show off your big backyard? I’ll have you know, my backyard may not be as big but-” You joke before he butts in. “No, come on I want to show you something.”

He walks closer to the volleyball net, you follow after him.

You bring your hand up to the net, grazing your touch over, feeling how worn out and used it has been. You turn to notice Kageyama bending over to pick up an object from the ground before turning to you.

You look and notice a volleyball, just as worn out and old as the net.

Your face contorts into one of confusion as he leans against the net, spinning the ball in hand.

“I used to practice with my grandfather everyday here.” He begins. “He was the one who had introduced me to volleyball, he had taught me everything I needed to know” You hear him sigh, standing from the net, looking up into the sky. “Both in volleyball, and in life.” Your eyes water, as your friend opens up to you. His gaze turns to you, “before he passed, he told me something” he walks closer to you, staring into your eyes, before lightly handing the old volleyball into your palms, his hands cupping the bottom of yours as you held the ball together. “If you get really good... I promise you... somebody who's even better will come along and find you.”

He lets go of your hands, leaving you with the ball as he looks back up to the sky.

“Though, I’m sure he was referring to volleyball with that.” He turns back to you. “I think, you can apply that saying to real life”

You bring a hand up to your mouth, trying to cancel the sob trying to escape. Kageyama immediately notices and comes to your aid. “I-I’m sorry- I’m not really good with this kind of stuff but-” He gets cut off with your sudden hug, as you sob into his chest.

“Thank you Tobio” You mumble, before pulling away. “I really needed that.” He gives you a sincere smile before the sound of the sliding door opens.

“Tobi- Oh? Is this the infamous Y/n-chan?” “Nee-san.” Kageyama calls out before she makes her way to you two.

“I’m Miwa, this loser’s older sister. Also known as, The Superior Kageyama.” She ruffles the top of Kageyama’s head before holding a hand for you to shake. You accept it, and introduce yourself.

“Wow, she’s even cuter in real life-” “Nee-san.” Kageyama gives his sister a glare before she laughs. “Are you guys hungry? I made pork curry.” You and Kageyama share a look of excitement, before the three of you making it back inside from the cold night weather. 

-

“Thank you so much for having me, Miwa-san” You bow as Kageyama holds the door open, waiting for you. “You are welcome anytime Y/n-chan” She waves as the two of you make your way out.

You two walk in silence as the cold breeze tickles your ears.

You make it just outside before you turn to thank Kageyama for walking you home, and for the sentimental night.

“Thank you for keeping me company tonight Tobio” You ruffle the top of his head, copying his older sister’s actions. “I hope I was able to help, you m-mean... a lot to me, I hate to see you upset” You turn to open your gate, missing the second half of his confession. “Yeah, you did.” You look to him. “I really needed that Tobio, thank you so much again!” You wave before heading in, he watches as you make it inside safely before making his way home.

“Y/n? Where have you been it’s late!” Your mom runs to you, worried for your safety. You explain to her and your dad that you needed to take a stroll to clear your mind off things. Your much cheerful behavior startling them, before you make your way up to your room to focus back on your work.

-

The following Monday, Tsukishima had gone to school without waiting outside your gate. He feels as this week has gone by so slowly, it feels so weird not having you around like usual. And now he has two things to be sorry for.

As his mind is in another place, he is startled by a voice calling to him. “Tsukishima-san” He looks up only to meet eyes with you, taken back by your formality, not used to you calling him that.

‘Can you please help me with this problem?” You ask, he nods before replying. “Library later?” You nod, giving a smile before heading back to your seat.

-

You two find yourselves alone in the library after school. Yamaguchi not being able to attend this study session, having to deal with volleyball stuff with Ennoshita and Daichi.

Tsukishima stares, watching as you seem very focused onto your studies, thinking of what happened, wondering how you are able to talk to him all of a sudden. Have you had enough space? Were the two of you okay now? Can he apologize?

“Y/n” He calls to you. “Yes?” You answer, bringing your attention back up to him. The two of you share a brief moment of gazing into each others eyes, before he breaks away, looking down to your notebook. “You got the answer wrong, let me help.” You agree, sliding the notebook over.

He takes the notebook, and begins erasing. You watch him until he asks suddenly, “What made you want to talk to me again?” “What?” He turns the notebook facing you, explaining the problem and what you got wrong. You nod, understanding before taking your notebook, and solving it again. There’s another moment of silence, before you slide the notebook back to Tsukishima for him to check the answer.

“I guess you can say, I have come to realize my priorities” “Priorities? What do you mean?” He asks, his eyes still on your notebook as he checks your answers. “I want to be in the top 15 students.” He brings his gaze up to that statement, looking at the burning determination in your eyes, until you blink, leaning on your arm. “Then I’ll find time to be mad at you.” You give a cheeky smile, missing the one he gives you due to your smart comment.

You take your notebook back after he informs you that it is indeed correct. You feel excitement bubble in you, “Can you help me with this problem too?” The two of you continue to study, each passing day as the week goes by. Meeting everyday after school, reviewing each term, and every lesson.

Before you realized, it was the day of the exam.

Just as you were about to grab a pencil from your case, you open it to find a letter stuck inside.

“Good luck pipsqueak” it reads. You smile, closing your case as you take a deep breath. ‘Let’s do this!’

-

A month has passed and the exam results are out.

You rush your way past the students crowding the scoreboard, finally managing to squeeze your way to the front, you immediately went on a search for your name. Your eyes scan the board, before you find your name, placed right next to the number 13. You have reached #13 in the top of your class.

In excitement, you turn around, hoping to find Tsukishima to tell him the good news. You turn only to find him in the crowd, looking towards you with a smile before walking away.

You smile back as you watch his figure walk off into the hall.

-

After school, the six of you find yourselves outside of Coach Ukai’s shop.

Hinata walking out of the store with Kageyama, a plastic bag filled with a pack of strawberry milk.

Your group finds their way to the nearby park, sitting before Hinata starts ripping the plastic from the pack, before handing each individual a carton.

“Today, we celebrate Y/n’s entry into the top 15! We will have strawberry milk instead of champagne! Cheers!” You laugh as you bring your milk carton up towards your friends, as the six of you clink the milk boxes together.

Just as you bring the straw to your lip, you catch the gaze of Tsukishima giving a sly smile, immediately turning away when your eyes meet his.

-

You split ways with your friends, making your way home with Tsukishima.

“Let’s go, quickly.” He says before he begins walking off. “If you want to go home so quickly, then carry me.” You bite back jokingly. “No” “Why not?” He takes a moment to think, letting out an audible hum. “Too tired.” You roll your eyes before catching up to him.

Staying quiet, the silence throughout the walk in much more calming than the existing tension before. But, it’s still not the same as it used to be.

As you see your houses approaching, Tsukishima calls out to you.

“Y/n.”

You turn, only to find him leaned down as he eyes you. You blink confused, before he stands back up. 

“Good job.” He gives you a genuine smile. “I’m proud of you.” What? You try fighting the blush running along your face. “Come again?” “No.” Just as he was about to turn into his house, you grab onto the ends of his shirt. It’s been a while since you last did that, and he missed it so much.

“Thanks Tsukki” You look up to him, giving him that smile he missed so much.

He brings his hand from his pocket up to your head, before ruffling your hair.

“Yeah, whatever.” You let go, waving to him before making your way inside your house.

He watches as you enter, letting out a soft smile.

-

Running up to your room, you strip your school uniform before hopping into your pajamas, immediately flying into your bed, clutching a pillow close to your chest as you look out your window, staring into his before turning to your back.

 Your eyes glued to the ceiling before you drift off to sleep, the last thing on your mind;

“I think I still like you.”

TAGLIST: @cvlliesstuff , @strawberries-en-cream , @beanst0ck , @kimiiiiiiiiii, @lucyheartfilias-wife , @lanatheawesome , @owlnymph​ 

PLEASE LEMME KNOW IN THE COMMENTS (OR IN ASKS) IF YOU’D LIKE TO BE ADDED TO THE TAGLIST!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! 🌸

A/N 2: I really do wanna thank you all so much for reading! You guys are all so sweet and kind and I just ksdhjncsdjk it makes me happy knowing someone is reading my, very cliche, sappy, bad english writing. Thank you to the ends of the Earth and back! You are just so, so incredible, so very incredible 💖

“A LOVE SO BEAUTIFUL” Masterlist 🌸

[nerdified]

Procedural Notes: Patient #3 (FKA Hugo Jensen)

NOTE: [At the time of this audio recording, Mr. Hugo Jensen (NKA Norville Nerdlinger) has just begun the process, and is restrained. The identity of the speaker is unknown. This transcript is reproduced here in order to assist with identification of this man, who has since disappeared, absconding with an undisclosed amount of the process agonist. Efforts to locate him have, to date, been fruitless. If anyone knows anything about this man or his whereabouts, please report the information to Central Command.]

[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]

Quiet, now. It’s no use struggling.

I’m not going to hurt you. Quite the opposite.

I see that look in your eyes, like you don’t think I could hurt you. You’re probably right. I’m not much of a fighter. But I know what you think of me, and other guys like me. I’ve been listening to you on the phone, you know. Hacked your telecommunications. What was it that you called me, on that call with the client yesterday?

Oh, yes, I remember. A walking pocket protector. I’ll admit, that was a new one for me. I’ve had “pencil-neck” and “four-eyes” and the good old-fashioned “nerd” lobbed at me before, but “walking pocket-protector”… Heck, it’s got a little poetry to it!

Shh. I know, it feels strange. It’s a little unsettling, at first, I’ll agree. But you’ll get used to it. It’ll go easier for you if you just relax and quit fighting it. In time, you’ll even begin to like it.

I’m sorry about the gag. Unfortunately, it’s just the beginning of the process, so I have to leave it in for…twenty-three more minutes, at least, if my calculations are correct.

Ha! Who am I kidding – my calculations are always correct.

I can see from your eyes that you hate my guts right now. That, too, will change.

You see, what’s about to happen to you isn’t out of the ordinary, or even very noteworthy. As far as I can tell, it happens to a lot of guys, especially those that zip through their twenties and then hit that speed bump called thirty, bank accounts empty and career opportunities shot. Those of us who didn’t win the genetic lottery couldn’t get by just on our looks and our charisma, like you did.

I remember how it felt when I was in high school, and guys like you were all A+ students and perfect jocks, too… gosh, it’s enough to make me swear.

But no. You couldn’t leave well enough alone. You couldn’t just be a jock, be good at sports, and leave the academics to the rest of us. We didn’t ask for much, you know. We just wanted to be left alone in our science labs, and in our tutorials, in our lives.

There's no escaping guys like you. You’re everywhere, and you’re spreading. For a time, we ignored it. Figured it was some kind of anomaly. But it wasn’t – it was a trend. And despite the fact that we didn’t see it coming, we are now prepared for its end.

Like I mentioned – it won’t surprise most people to see you change. Maybe a few of your close friends will worry about you. Express some concern. But by that point, you’ll already have accepted your new self. You’ll be able to say “This is just who I am,” and it’ll be their choice how to proceed. That’s a side benefit, by the way, of the process. You get to find out who your real friends are – and, spoiler alert: they’re not exactly big football fans.

You have to be prepared for some major shake-up in your life, though. The good thing about the process is that it won’t faze you in the slightest. Everything will be gee-whiz gosh-darn super-duper spiffy keen neat-o, if anyone asks, and for you, it will be.

Now, I know those terms are a little outdated. We’ve had to make a bit of an adjustment to the process in your case. The earlier version wasn’t quite strong enough for you, so we’ve had to over-compensate in a few directions. You won’t just be a little bit nerdy, you know, a couple of odd quirks, some new hobbies. For example, Derek – well, that’s his dead name, he goes by Derwood now – Derwood can sometimes get by in normal society. He even kept a few of his old friends. He’s just more into things like superhero movies, and he’s left behind all knowledge or passion for sports. I think I even saw him reading a comic book the other day, come to think of it.

But that’s not going to be you. Oh, sure, you might develop a taste for superhero movies, but if you do, it won’t just be a passing interest. You’ll become a rabid fan. I believe…obsessive…is the operative word, in fact. Yes, you see, that earlier version of the process would have worn off, and you’d have been back to your old self in no time, which would wreak havoc on your psyche, not to mention put our entire operation in jeopardy. We can’t have that.

It looks like some time has passed, but not quite enough for me to remove the gag yet. Do you feel your perfect white teeth shifting around in your gums, almost impatiently? Nod once for yes.

You don’t have to nod at all, not if you don’t want to. I don’t need you to confirm for me what I can already see happening in your eyes. Speaking of your eyes – how’s your vision? I can see you starting to squint every now and then. Trying to see past that blur? Don’t worry. I’ve already got your glasses, right here, for when it gets too bad for you to see. Talk about your Coke-bottle lenses - my calculations again predict that you’ll settle somewhere around…hm…negative six diopters, which is even worse than mine.

To put it simply: you won’t even be able to read the big E on the eye chart without your glasses on.

I know, you’ve never been to the optometrist in your life. You never needed to. And don’t think about getting contact lenses, either. I mean, go ahead and try, if you really want to embarrass yourself.

Oh, I can see it now: timid, nerdy little guy like you, shuffling into the doctor’s office – you say you want to get contact lenses, and they get you in the back for a fitting. They show you how to do it, you know, hold your eyelids apart and then just plop the lens on there. But you have to do it three times before they’ll let you leave with them, and you won’t even be able to get one in, because you’ll keep blinking it out. I wish I could be there to see it, honestly – you, all frustrated, trying to swear, but only able to say things like “Fudge!” and “Gosh darn it!”

It’ll be so beautiful. I’m getting teary just thinking about it.

I’m glad you’re starting to settle down a bit. Let me know when you need your glasses. Maybe while we wait, I’ll get started on your hair. That trendy fade has got to go, and so does that scruff on your face. At the start, you’ll have to shave a lot, but as the process continues, you’ll start producing more of a 5-alpha reductase enzyme. This will convert your testosterone into dihydrotestosterone, or DHT, which will actually miniaturize your follicles. Kind of like using a shrink ray on them! Oh, and there will be no taking of inhibitors, like finasteride or anything like that – our process contains a potent agonist, with an affinity of 0.25 to 0.5 nM for the human androgen receptor.

It’s all very scientific, I assure you. And with the miniaturization of your follicles, your sebaceous glands will begin to over-produce sebum, which results in – you guessed it! Acne. Pimples. Zits. I know you’ve never had to deal with that before, so I’m just preparing you for it now. Pizza-face, I think the popular nickname is. Get ready for a lot of that.

Let’s see…what else can I tell you.... Gosh, this is kind of like the orientation for a new job, isn’t it? Ah, yes. I know. Speaking of jobs...

Yeah, this is the tough part. It’s all very natural, I assure you. Just like with your friends, your co-workers will come to see you in a different way. I know you have quite a few cutthroat underlings who would eat one another alive to get your corner office, and the moment they sense you’re not as much of a threat as you used to be, they’ll swarm.

I give it two weeks, tops, until you’re gone. If you choose that road. Or you could make it much easier on yourself and resign. You won’t be financially ruined – not with all that new information surging through your brain – you’ll be an asset to the right company, the right department. Maybe IT will take you. Or accounting. Maybe you won’t work corporate. Maybe you’ll work retail.

God, that’s cruel even for me. I wouldn’t wish retail on anyone, even a jerk like you. But there’s no telling what could happen. For all I know, once the process has completed, you could end up one of those Geek Squad guys at Best Buy! Have you seen the uniform they have to wear? It’s company-mandated dress code. You’ve seen them, haven’t you? White, short-sleeve, button-down shirt. Black polyester clip-on necktie; black, pleated trousers; black lace-up shoes…and white socks. Yes, white socks, kept completely spotless and bright. All this is enforced, too, with routine inspections, to make sure you’re being compliant!

You see, there’s really an infinity of possibilities for you. If anything, this is a new chance for you – a fresh start. I know it feels scary, all this change. But change is the only constant. Everything is always in flux. Heck, every seven years, your entire body regenerates – every cell is new and different, so why shouldn’t your personality and identity change, too?

It’s logical, isn’t it? Nod once for yes.

Good! You’re starting to come around, aren’t you? Like I said, it won’t be so bad if you just accept it. If you don’t fight it. That sudden urge to position your tongue up behind your teeth when you say ess. Eth. Eth. How your voice keeps breaking, and in the most unfortunate ways, and at the most unfortunate times – all of this is being etched into your muscle memory as I speak to you.

There isn’t much longer now until I can remove your gag, and I can see that the physical alterations are beginning. Too bad all that hard work at the gym all these years is so easily eroded by our process, but then, those muscles were mostly for show, weren’t they? Well, no longer. It isn’t exactly sarcopenia, but it’s close. You’ll be at least one and a half, possibly two, standard deviations below the relevant population mean, and no amount of exercise will restore your former abilities.

Yes, the ropes are looser now, because you’re much smaller. Rapid onset muscle deterioration. You could struggle out of them. Maybe you could even escape. You could try. But there’s no way you’d make it very far without your glasses. Who would believe you, anyway? What would you even say?

Like I said, you might as well give in. It’s not so bad, once you get used to it. And you’ll have me. I’ll be with you for the whole beginning process, so you can acclimate to your newly nerdy life. You won’t be able to continue living in that luxe apartment you’ve got – no, you’ll be moving into a nice little basement apartment I’ve got fixed up for you, in the suburbs outside the city. The landlords have just got it refurbished, with some nice wood paneling, and there’s a spare twin bed that should be just your size! There’s also tons of room on the walls to put up all your posters. You won’t need much room for anything else, really. You definitely won’t be needing that enormous closet of tailored, fitted button-down shirts, or all those sneakers, definitely not those expensive Under Armour boxer-briefs. What a waste. No, the new you is way more frugal with his money, seeing as he’s paid so little of it. The new you doesn’t even think that much about clothes, or fashion.

This must be a lot to handle. Maybe I should have a little mercy on you.

Tell you what. I’ll let you choose your underwear. How’s that, pal? That make you feel any better? Nod once for yes.

See, I’m not that bad. That’s right. So, here. You can choose…Hanes, or Fruit of the Loom?

Oh, I see. You thought I meant what kind of underwear. Haha, no. You’ll be wearing tighty-whities from now on. Sorry, them’s the rules. Besides, you won’t need much support…down there, if you catch my drift!

Don’t look so horrified. You won’t even notice that it’s gone. Mostly. You’ll still have some length, just, you know, not a lot. You won’t be able to call it a “cock” or a “dick” ever again, either. Oh, look how cute – you’re blushing just hearing me say it! You might call it something else, like your ding-a-ling, or your wiener.

Okay, okay, I can tell you’re getting embarrassed, you’ve gone all red and blotchy in your cheeks. We don’t have to talk about the … “no-no place” anymore, little buddy.

All right. Here’s your glasses. I’ll just set them on your nose, for you…there. Wow, they sure do make your eyes look tiny!

I can tell you’re getting near to the end of the process, and I’m curious to see how big your two front teeth have gotten. From that bump in your upper lip…gosh, it looks like you might be giving Bugs Bunny a run for his money!

You’ve really been behaving better, so I’ll bring you a mirror, okay? So you can see for yourself. I must say, it’s already quite the improvement. I wasn’t expecting your hair to turn so red, or get so curly. Maybe if you can’t get a job at Best Buy, you could run away and join the circus as a clown!

I’m just horsing around with you, pal. Don’t pass out on me. You promise not to scream? I hate it when they scream. Nod once for yes.

You’re a little excited, aren’t you? It’s okay. You can tell me. I bet you get a little more excitable than you used to. Maybe you even get a little clumsy, with the loss of all that hand-eye coordination. Trip over your own two feet and go sprawling.

But who knows. There’s so much potential.

And you’re just the beginning, too. Let’s just say that my proposal for introducing you to the process wasn’t well-received by Central. What do they know? They have this power, and they don’t use it. Well, you snooze, you lose, by golly! If you have a gift, you use it, otherwise it goes to waste.

Anyway. Enough of the supervillain speech. You don’t need to know anything more. It’ll probably be wiped out in the massive crush of nerdy trivia about Star Trek and Star Wars that’s going to download into your brain soon, anyway.

So, this is it. Are you ready to see? Nod once for yes, and I’ll pull the cloth off this mirror here.

Alrighty, dweeb, you asked for it. Here goes.

Say salutations to the new you!

[END TRANSCRIPT]

[mistikfir]

Hugh Dancy  - Photo by Michel Comte for L'Uomo Vogue, February 2004

Translation and transcription by Madnutz (hughdancyonline).

Precise language, upper class accent, an extremely precise use of the word. Hugh Dancy confuses you due to his innocent malice: as you canīt be able to define and affirm with true bases the color of his eyes, theyīre in between gray and blue, thing you know tells a lot of lies. Heīs talkative, friendly, easy, but this availability seems to correspond symmetrically to much discrete intelligence. He was born on Stoke-on-Trent, Staffordshire, England, in 1975. Heīs the eldest of three brothers. His mother Sarah is a Publisher, and his father, Jonathan Dancy, a writer and a philosophy teacher at Reading University: "His job pleases him very much, what he does impassions him, and thatīs a life lesson. But, for the rest, the fact that my father is an academic is not a relevant thing for me. Iīve been at Oxford University where I studied literature, but since I was 13 year old Iīve known that I was interested in acting. I started by chance, and it seemed immediately that was the most natural thing. It was what corresponded me, that made sense as for someone who finds passion for football (soccer) and passes from amateur to professional, simply."

His look is slovenly right to the point, light trousers, a striped shirt with an antique ironing memory, but whatīs his relationship with fashion and beauty? Showing his violet-blue shoes: "They express my spirit and my relationship with fashion" heīs ironic "Iīm part of those people that, simply by paying attention to the way in which they dress themselves, make an effort in which everything look natural and casual. The effort is in not showing the effort. Iīd like to say I donīt worry about how I look, but I think that what you wear is an affirmation, and then I donīt care much if i wear a tacky thing, is enough to be a choice. "

A theatre actor, he has done a lot of television and you can see him in "Dangerfield", in "Trial & Retribution II" and in one episode of "The New Adventures of Robin Hood". He loves cinema and has worked with Ridley Scott in "Black Hawk Down". Now he is in the upcoming "King Arthur", the Antoine Fuqua film, that has keeping him busy for a long time between Dublin and the Irish country.

Hugh Dancy loves to change location and to undertake in more distant roles, to offer the audience multiples aspects of his professional talent. Discussing the satisfaction from theatre, acting all night for an audience that breathes and shares your own space. But the strength on his answer opens to a doubt, and immediately adds: "This last summer Iīve worked a lot in theatre, with "The Green Fields Beyond", and at the end I wanted cinema. But I remain with the idea that you still learn from doing theatre, it's also true that what you learn in theatre will serve you in cinema, and vice versa." Also, in Italy the theatre scene is not lively, London is the opposite, is brilliant. Hugh Dancy tells about the young friends that cares about you, in particular one of his friends a 27 years old musical director "When I started, everybody tells you that you should imagine an alternative career, because this one of acting is too difficult. But I donīt waste my energy on that concern. And nevertheless, if I have to, I could be an editor, enlist myself into the army or become a springboard artist. But for now things are going well" Regrets? Dancy, easy going and funny, opens himself into an fit of laughter: "If there has been really a regret or lament I won’t tell it to you…" Then he turns serious: "But there are a lot of things that embarrassed me, I wonīt tell the names, not much for me but for the other person. True Iīve done some jobs I regret a little bit: Iīve insisted acting with a French accent amongst the hideouts in an American series, but it was for the money. It was part of the personal and professional growth. Iīve uncovered in several occasions that it can happen also that you do something that at first it seems ridiculous, from what not only you are not convinced, but you do not succeed alone. Then, however, you relax while the work is finished, have fun and everything can turn into a very useful experience. It is necessary to let go, without worries.

It is my desire too big? To work for the next 20 years. Simple. It is to have a certain control over my career, the rest is that what every actor wants, use this control to work with different genres of people and different roles." Well educated, prepared and sensible, loves Primo Levi, and when he's is busy in a production, he reads two or three books simultaneously to not get too involved and to not get distracted from the character that heīs portraying, whilst on his spare time he allows himself to get abandoned on how much he is reading. Heīs not much interested in music as with cinema: heīs in love with the "Gattopardo II" which he has seen in London on itsoriginal version. He likes the authorīs film, but "as everybody, I end up watching the most important "American" films, than those blockbuster." His favourite director, with whom heīd love to work with, is Woody Allen, on those productions from ī75 ītill ī85.

Demanding and fatalist, determinated, Dancy seems us to portray effectively his own generation, which is the british, and above all, however without joining the cliché a little bit sick and decadent that marks them a lot. Thatīs in fact a healthy and hedonistic stroke in Hugh Dancy, at least in how much he let us realize. We asked him if itīs true that he loves The Simpsons, as we have read in some place. "As everybody," he answers "Itīs possible that Iīve have said that. I tell lies continuously, also now! Anyway, as far as Iīm concerned The Simpsons makes you feel at home. Is like to drink a glass of good wine."

By the way, we have read that youīd like to cultivate vine. " Is that what Iīve said? Thatīs a true thing. Perhaps! My parents own a house on the south of France, under Tolosa, where the landscape is still mountainous. I grew up drinking good rosso wine since I was young. I like the lifestyle of the farmer, is attractive if itīs seen from outside. In reality it must be very hard. As everything it suffers the fascination of whom lives in the country. It fits the dream.I But you like it? "In a few ways yes. I think it needs to have a very real region to not please it. Is like you donīt have the desire to spend much energy at the moment, youīll say yes yeah." Hugh Dancy is bright, quick, affirmative. Howīs his relationship with reality? "Slight…" Answers with a deep sigh and a long pause. "My job doesnīt have much to do with reality, but it regards a lot with reality. The majority of my friends are not actors, theyīre people I've known for a long time. And I donīt know how to imagine another way of living: I keep a foot on reality….thanks to these friends, I have a clear idea of whatīs important: my job is flattering and persuasive, but is not the priority. Iīm trying to be very diplomatic -laughs- of giving you a wise and intelligent image…. balanced." Going along with him on the seesaw game between reality and fiction, we tell him what thing heīd like to see written about this meeting. Answer "That I speak fluent Italian." Renata Molho

[xbaepsae]

private tutor | part one

“You fall to your knees, hands clasped together, ‘Please, Namjoon; I’m willing to do anything.’ The last word causes him to look away from his book and down at you, taking in your rather pathetic self. A smirk stretches across his lips, ‘Anything?’”

[tutor!namjoon x reader]

genre: college!au, humor

word count: 3.8k

a/n: sooo, another reupload! originally, i only posted 2/3 parts because i never got around to finishing the final part aksjkajksd. but i’m working on that lol. in the meantime, i edited this part and part two will be up soon. enjoy! xoxo

part one / part two / part three

Well, this is awkward.

You had always considered yourself to be a rather good student. You made decently good grades in all of your classes and tried to attend them on a daily basis, but what you had not anticipated was this: a failing grade in chemistry. A big, fat red F marked the top of your grade report, and you had to do a double take to make sure you were seeing things right.

Not once in your life have you ever made anything below a C. This had to be the devil’s work, you were sure of it. Was it even possible to make an F? You put in effort into this class—it wasn’t like you weren’t trying.

“Y/n, you’re failing my class.”

Looking up at your professor, you can only manage a sheepish smile. “I can see that…”

“Care to explain?”

Biting your lip, you don’t really know what to say. Well, what could you really say? You thought that you were doing well in the class, but apparently you were assuming wrong. “I don’t really know.”

Your professor sighs, “Is it the concepts we’re learning in class? Are you not understanding them?”

“No, no,” you shake your head, “I understand the basics, but I guess when you ask us to apply everything together…I’m not really seeing the big picture.”

If you were to be honest with yourself, you absolutely hated chemistry. The basics—like the elements on the periodic table and electrons—were easy enough; but once different concepts got combined, your brain became a jumbled mess. A lot of math was involved and you hated that too. You really didn’t know why you had to take this class anyway because you for sure did not want to pursue a degree or future job in this field.

“The end of the grading period is coming up,” your professor says. “It’s going to be quite difficult to bring up that grade.”

You look at her desperately, “There has to be something. Please help me!”

There was no way you were going to have an F on your transcripts. It was only your first year of college and getting a failing grade definitely would not be a great way to start. Even though you don’t like this class, you don’t want it to ruin the rest of your college career.

“I would love to help you, but I can’t with finals coming up.” You frown at her words, feeling dejected.

“Do you have tutors?” you ask.

She nods, “Yes, but I’m sure that they’re all booked for the rest of the semester already.”

This cannot be happening right now. “Please professor; I can’t fail your class.”

It’s embarrassing how desperate you are right now. You’re practically begging the woman for something that was completely your fault. You can’t help but think back to every mistake you made on the tests and wonder why you didn’t study harder. For a second, you also contemplate the pros and cons of dropping out. It wouldn’t be that bad, right?

“Well, there might be something,” she says and suddenly all thoughts of dropping out fade away. You look at her almost too eagerly and ask what that certain something is. “I have this student who isn’t a tutor of mine, per se, but he did ace my class.”

Your optimism dims a little, “He isn’t a chem tutor?”

“No, he’s actually a philosophy major,” your professor says and you start thinking about dropping out again, “but he is very intelligent and does well in all subjects, y/n. I’m nearly positive he will offer to help you before this final.”

Great. Your only hope was someone who wasn’t even a chemistry major. “Who is he?”

Your professors smiles before telling you his name.

***

Kim Namjoon. You practice saying his name a few times out loud.

According to your chemistry professor, he is a third-year student, set to graduate a semester early or something, and a philosophy major. He had apparently made a perfect A+ in her class and was some kind of genius. However, that was the extent of the knowledge you possessed about him. In your short few months here, you have never run into anyone named Kim Namjoon—you didn’t even know what he looks like.

Your professor just told you who he was and where you might find him, which could literally be anywhere on campus. And, in all honesty, you felt kind of hopeless. Finals were less than a month away and you still don’t know how you're going to pass. As you left your professor’s office and walk back to your dorm room, you feel more confused than ever.

Where are you supposed to find Namjoon?

“How’d your meeting go?” your roommate, Ara, asks.

You shut the door behind you, “Horrible.”

“It can’t be that bad,” she smiles. “What, are you failing or something?”

When you fall onto your bed and turn to give her a look, she curses and you can’t help but agree. “I’m completely done for.”

“And it’s only the first semester—if you’re struggling now, imagine how it’ll be the next three years…”

You groan into your pillows, “Imdroppingout.”

Ara sighs, “You’re being too hard on yourself. All you need is a C to pass. You know what they say—C’s gets degrees.”

“Howaisuppdtogtac?” you ask, but Ara can’t understand a word you say so you raise your head and repeat: how am I supposed to get a C?

“Did you ask for extra credit or help?”

You sit up and lean your back against the wall. “No one fucking gives extra credit anymore; this is college, not grade school where you can bring your teacher an apple and get five points added to your test.”

“Truth,” your roommate nods, “these college professors are savage.”

“But I did ask for help,” you say. “She’s apparently too busy to help me though.”

Ara sighs and gives you a look of sympathy. “Worst case scenario will be that you have to retake chem...”

The thought of having to take that class again makes death seem much more appealing. There was no way you were about to step foot into that lecture hall again or sit in another lab. You just wanted to put chemistry behind you already. Life was way too short to be worrying so much about one damn class.

“My professor actually recommended me a tutor,” you tell your roommate and her ears perk up immediately.

“Then what the fuck are you waiting for?” she looks at you like you’re an idiot, which you evidently are.

“He’s not a chem major,” you try to explain.

Ara just nods, “Okay, so like biology? Bio majors take chemistry too.”

You just shake your head, “He’s actually…a philosophy major.”

Silence engulfs the room for a moment, Ara looking at you with the wildest expression. It's like she is trying to understand the situation, and somehow make philosophy equal chemistry, but nothing is adding up. Her mouth opens and closes multiple times. You don’t blame her or her reaction because you felt the exact same way.

“Exactly,” you tell her. “That is why I’m fucked.”

“I am so sorry, y/n,” she places a hand over her heart, “should I begin preparing your funeral arrangements now?”

You throw one of the pillows on your bed at her, but Ara just catches it with laughter. “Why the hell are you laughing?”

“I think that you will be fine,” she tries to appease you. “Find this philosophy dude and try to get him to become your tutor. At this point, he seems to be your only saving grace.”

“Even if I wanted to be tutored by some smartass philosophy major,” you begin, still not entirely sure if you want to meet up with him, “I don’t know where the hell to find him.”

Your roommate says something along the lines of going to see the head of student relations, and that’s when a light bulb goes off in your head—you have a friend who works in the administration building. If anyone can help you locate this Namjoon dude, it will be that person. And as soon as this idea fills your mind, you decide that you better not waste any time and jump off the bed, rushing to the door.

“Where are you going? You don’t have another class today,” Ara questions as you grab your student ID.

“I’ll be back!” you say a little too excitedly and practically run to the other side of the campus.

By the time you get to the academic building, you’re sweating up a storm. It was the beginning of November already, which meant cooler autumn days. But today, Mother Nature paid a particularly warm visit and the bi-polar weather was something you hated. You walk up the pretty white steps and open the double doors into a space of cool air-conditioned goodness. You take a moment to bask in the contrast from outside before walking up to the secretary.

“Hi,” you greet the woman dressed in all red. “Is Min Yoongi in today?”

Even though you have become well acquainted with the boy over the last few months, you have no idea what his set schedule is. You two had one class together—a history course you both struggled to stay awake in; besides that, you never saw him around much. All you knew was that Yoongi was always busy with his multiple jobs around campus, which was weird since the last time you saw him, he was asleep in the library. He probably passed out from exhaustion.

“Yes, he is.” You breathe a sigh of relief. Thank the heavens. “He is currently right up the stairs; second door to the left.”

You thank the secretary and follow her directions until you reach the second door on the left. The door was slightly cracked open. Peeping in, you see Yoongi tapping away on a keyboard and you lightly tap three times on the wood. He types a few more times before saying to come in.

Pushing the door open, he looks over at you and nearly does a double-take. “Y/n?”

He seems surprised to see you, especially since you’ve never come by before.

You fall into an empty seat. “Hey, Yoongi.”

“Should I be…worried?” he questions, turning back to his computer.

“Depends,” you tell him.

“On what?”

“Do you know someone named Kim Namjoon?”

Yoongi stops, hovering his hands over the keyboard. You notice that his mouth presses into a thin line, eyebrows scrunching. He swivels his chair to face you and blinks twice. “Maybe.”

“Can you help me find him?” you ask.

“Why?” he crosses his arms over his chest.

You sigh, “Because my dumbass self is failing chemistry and I need help.”

“Don’t you have any friends you can ask to help?” Yoongi asks. “I mean, like me for instance.”

His comment makes you roll your eyes. The corner of his lips morph into a half-smile, and you know that he’s just teasing. You also know how busy he is; there is no way you are going to ask him for anything. Besides, Yoongi is probably just as terrible at chemistry. You have never seen him step anywhere near the science building.

You express these sentiments to him and he nods, while you ask, “Aren’t you a communications major anyway?”

“Isn’t this Namjoon guy in philosophy?”

“So you do know him, Yoongi.”

“I said maybe—I never said yes or no,” he clarifies, and you suppress your need to roll your eyes again. “But I guess I can help you find him.”

You nearly jump for joy at his words and watch as he begins to type away at his keyboard again. After a few minutes, Yoongi has pulled up an entire profile, along with a few articles, on Namjoon. All the information is cool, but you question your friend about its legality. But Yoongi merely brushes your concerns away and says it’s his job description. Whatever that means.

Your eyes scan down the profile—which is rather impressive with all of the multiple awards and perfect 4.0 GPA plastered on the screen in bold letters—and come to the conclusion that Kim Namjoon is, in fact, a genius and that you need his help. Immediately. Screw the fact that he isn’t a chemistry major. You just need anything you can get at this point. You want—no, need to pass. As you stare at his photo, showcasing an individual with dark hair and thick-framed glasses, you make it your mission to find him. Now, it's just the question of where to start looking.

“I’ve seen him a few times in the library,” Yoongi suddenly says, like he was reading your mind. “So, if I were you, I would start there.”

You thank Yoongi, crushing your friend in a hug and then bolt for the library.

***

After a few fruitless days in the library, you have nearly lost all hopes of getting a passing grade.

You have already started preparing yourself to take chemistry again in the spring, talking to your advisor about the schedule change. You really don’t want to take the devil’s class again, but an F would be detrimental to your GPA; and according to your university’s handbook, if you retook a class, the lower grade would be dropped. Also, Ara managed to convince you that suffering another semester in chemistry would be better than dying. And you had to agree with that.

It just seemed like it was impossible to find this Namjoon guy. You spent all of your spare time on a couch right by the library door. So if anyone left or came in, specifically him, you would see it. But every person who passed is not who you are looking for and you are starting to question Yoongi’s advice, or maybe Namjoon just lives in the library and is never going to come out.

You hope, hour after hour, that he will just walk through the doors, but it's already your fourth day in the library and you are sure the librarians are starting to get tired of seeing your face, with desperation written all over it, every day. Hell, you are tired of yourself. This is exhausting, and you are drained. Four days of waiting is absolute torture.

Ara has stopped by a few times today to drop off a bag of chips and an apple for you, which you're thankful for but wish she brought more. Aside from her, you’ve been alone. No one has stopped to talk to you, thank goodness, but a few people have given you the stink eye for hogging up the entire couch.

But having all this time alone in the library has given you the chance to think about your time-ticking situation. Even though you’ve accepted chemistry continuing to be a part of your life next semester, you still have a sliver of hope in running into Namjoon. You look at every person who walks in, checking for dark hair and glasses. Some do fit the description, but for some reason you know they’re not Kim Namjoon.

After god knows how long you’ve been in the library, you begin to pack your things up when you notice a tall blonde walk into the library. The blond hair is an immediate red x, so you focus back on the task at hand and begin walking to the doors. But just as you’re about to walk outside into the setting sun, you overhear the conversation between the blonde and the librarian.

“…you’ve read nearly everything in this library, Mr. Kim.”

He laughs, “Not everything.”

“Well, I know you’ve read much beyond your major.”

“I like to be well-rounded, ma’am.” She laughs.

“Did you still need that room?” You don’t hear him say anything to her. “Okay, mister Kim Namjoon, quiet room D is all yours.”

At that moment you freeze, not even sure if you heard anything correctly. Turning around, you notice the librarian hand the guy a key with a smile. He thanks her and walks off. You run up to the desk and slam your hand on the counter. “Was that Kim Namjoon?”

The librarian is startled, “Excuse me?”

“Was he Kim Namjoon or not?!” You’re hysteric. The person you’ve just spent days looking for is possibly steps away from you, and you are now nearing a nervous breakdown.

“Yes,” is all she says before you’re gone.

You run to the quiet rooms, which just so happened to be on the second floor, and straight to the door that had a bold letter D on it. The door is slightly cracked, so you exhale deeply before pushing it open. There you see the man himself, a book in hand, sitting in one of the two chairs in the room. He looks up at the sudden shift in the air, right at you. “Can I help you?”

Now that you’re closer to him, you realize how deep his voice is and how he just seems to command the space around him. Unlike that photo that you saw on his school profile, his once dark hair is now blonde with darker roots. The only way you can even tell it's the same person is the fact that Namjoon still wore glasses, albeit they are much more fashionable now.

“If you just came here to stare, I’d recommend that you leave. I’m currently in a very deep reading about Hobbes and the human condition.”

His comment snaps you out of your daze. “What? Hobbes? No—no I didn’t come here just to look at you, not that I came here at all to do that.” You sound stupid.

“Yes, Hobbes—did you know that he described the human condition to be one of war? That men are selfish and only wish to benefit themselves?” You have zero idea about what he is talking about. “If you don’t care about that…goodbye.” Namjoon looks back down at his book, ignoring your existence.

“I came here because I need you to tutor me,” you tell him, hoping he’ll at least look at you.

“Like I haven’t heard that before,” he flips a page.

You fist both your hands, “I’m failing chemistry, like really badly, and I can’t afford to have that grade on my transcripts.”

He doesn’t say anything, just flipping the pages in his damn book. You walk closer, until you’re right in front of him, but he still doesn’t give you the time of day. At this point, you feel angry and just done with everything. You’ve been waiting for this guy for the last four days and now he didn’t even care.

“Please,” you tell him. “Tutor me.”

“I don’t know you.”

You sigh, “My name is y/n.”

“Do you know who I am?”

“You’re Kim Namjoon.”

“Yes, well if you do know me…y/n…you must also know that I can’t just tutor you for free,” Namjoon says with a finger pushing the frame of his glasses up, eyes not wavering from the book in his other hand. “My time is precious.”

“You have to!” you practically beg. “I need to pass chem.”

He sighs, “I’m not even a chem major.”

“But you’re brilliant…or so they say,” you whisper the last bit to yourself, but Namjoon’s sharp ears don’t miss it.

“I am brilliant, thank you very much. But if you don’t have a form of payment, I’m afraid I will have to decline your proposal.”

You fall to your knees, hands clasped together, “Please, Namjoon; I’m willing to do anything.”

The last word causes him to look away from his book and down at you, taking in your rather pathetic self. A smirk stretches across his lips, “Anything?”

You just nod, hating yourself so much right now; but you're desperate, and desperate times called for even more desperate measures. As you look at Namjoon’s face, the careless gaze in his eyes begins to morph into something else. His eyes darken to obsidian and you can only imagine what is running through his head. Maybe you shouldn’t have been so willing to do anything for a passing grade. Unfortunately, you don’t have any more chances to take back what you said.

“You do look awfully pretty right now, on your knees and all.”

He brings a finger to your face, outlining the curve of your jaw to the swell of your lips. Heat rushes to your face and for a moment you don’t know what to say. You aren’t naïve to sex or anything of that sort, but you have never met someone so forward about it.

“Unless, you don’t want to pass chem,” he drops the finger. He must’ve noticed the shocked look on your face, but you quickly push your reasonable thoughts aside and shake your head.

“I want to.”

Namjoon smiles, revealing a dimple, “Perfect. We’ll start tomorrow.”

He gets up from the chair and grabs his book—which you now realize is an anthology of philosophical essays from some guy named Hobbes—walking to the door.

“You’re leaving?” you ask, still not registering what is actually going down.

“Meet me in front of the library tomorrow, and then we’ll go to my place.”

Shutting the door behind him, you collapse onto the floor with the release of a breath you’d been holding in. Your mind runs wild, heart beating erratically.

Holy shit.

***

“You what?”

Ara stares at you with wide eyes as you recall your encounter with Namjoon.

The moment you left quiet room D, after you somehow collected the strength back in your legs, you walked back to your dorm room to find your roommate sprawled on her bed. She expected to see you back earlier and was a bit concerned as to why you were later than usual today.

So, you spilled the beans. Everything.

Your roommate is the closest friend you have at school and you really needed to tell someone about the situation you were placed in. Ara was excited when you mentioned how you managed to meet Namjoon in the library and talked to him. Her expression began to change once you mentioned how disinterested he was until you offered a form of payment.

“I told him I’d do anything,” you repeat, lightly tapping your head against the wall.

“Why the hell did you say that?”

“I was desperate, Ara,” you say with a sigh. “Like, really desperate—you should’ve seen me.”

The both of you cringe at the image of you begging Namjoon to tutor you. You still can’t believe you became that girl. This chemistry class is really fucking you up.

“You’re an idiot, y/n,” she tells you.

“Oh my god, I know.”

It was pretty idiotic of you to offer up such a bold promise. You have never been one to be so risky and wage two very important things—your chemistry grade and yourself. Is it even worth it? You are beginning to have second thoughts and that's a terrible thing.

“When are you two meeting up?” Ara asks.

“Tomorrow.”

[studentparamedicsaus]

Student-Graduate Paramedic Transition

This piece was written by the awesome @freshontheambo, who’s taken the time to provide some insight into the process of applying for jobs and beginning on road. 

“Hey, I’m a recent paramedic graduate who has just embarked on my GPIP period with the QAS.  The application process can certainly be a difficult thing to navigate and wrap your head around, so I’d love to help clear the air a little for those of you who maybe want to hear about it from the perspective of someone freshly through the process.

First of all is the online application process.  This only opens once a year, so keep an eye out on their website as well as their Facebook.  Remember, you can apply even if you haven’t yet completed your degree, though you must be in your final year of study. This online application can take a bit of time to do, and when I was doing it, there was no closing it and coming back to it, you had to restart it if you couldn’t get it done in one hit.  There are important things you’ll need on hand to attach to the application file, all of which can be found in the applicant information pack QAS provide.  Off the top of my head I believe this includes:

Certified copy of birth certificate

Certified copy of driver’s license

Certified copy of academic transcript or graduation certificate, whichever is relevant (NOTE: the certified copy of academic transcript must be of the original, not a copy you can get online.  You’ll probably have to pay to get this unfortunately).

A clinical reference (i.e the most recent mentor)

A professional reference which needs to be no more than 2 years recent (if not available, a volunteering reference is also accepted)

Certified copies need to be done by a Justice of the Peace.  Basically, you make a photocopy of the original document, then take the copy as well as the original along to a Justice of the Peace who will certify it (this will be free don’t worry).  You will then need to scan and save this certified copy onto your computer so it can be attached to the application form online.  It’s definitely a good idea to get these all done before you do the online application form because, as I said, if you complete a section and then find out you need to submit one of the above files, you have to stop and re-start it all over again once you’ve got it.

As part of this online application, you also select where you would like to work.  You can either select the specific LASNs (Local Area Service Network which the state is divided up into) in the order you would prefer, or you can select a box which says that you are willing to work anywhere.  You will no doubt hear that this box is the best idea to select as you are more likely to get a job.  I can’t really tell you how much truth is in that, but I will say that of the people I know who listed Metro areas as their preference are mostly still waiting to hear from QAS, or were told they weren’t successful and should apply again.  It seemed that many of those who selected regional areas got jobs quite quickly, and those who selected the box (myself included) either got jobs straight up or a little later.  Again, this is based just on the small pool of people I know.  At the end of the day, you of course need to select whatever option is viable for you with your circumstances at the time.

Once you submit the application, the waiting game begins!  Most people will end up getting asked to attend a QAS assessment day.  For my application round, this ended up happening about a month or maybe two after the applications were all submitted.  From what I understand, the vast majority of people will get to this stage, very few end up getting rejected based off the online process alone. 

The assessment day is a pretty big day and is obviously very crucial.  One thing to remember for this day is that YOU ARE WATCHED 100% OF THE TIME.  The facility has cameras and microphones everywhere, and they will watch how you conduct yourself between the various assessments, as well as during them.  Use this opportunity to make a point of putting yourself out there, to show that you can work other people whom you don’t know.  Make a point to go and talk to other applicants you don’t know.  As for what you’ll do on the assessment day, it’s split into 3 main parts:

English and Numeracy test

This comprises of online multiple choice questions which are based on your ability to handle grammar and data interpretation.  The best advice I can give for this is to go online and Google ‘maths and English aptitude practice test’ because the maths in particular was maths that I hadn’t done since Grade 8

Psychometric test:

There is no way you can actually prepare for this.  It’s your personality based on answers you give to specific questions, and it takes a LONG time to complete as there are about 200 questions.  The only advice for this one is to answer truthfully.  Don’t just answer what you think QAS wants you to answer with, the test actually flags for answers that are ‘too perfect’.  You’ll be told this again on the day, but still, it’s good to know to just answer truthfully.

Various teamwork scenarios:

These are not clinical scenarios. Indeed throughout the whole assessment day, there is no clinical knowledge required, most likely because those applying are not exclusively from Queensland universities, and as such are not familiar with QAS protocol. There’s no equipment.  It really is more about how you conduct yourself in team-work, problem solving situations.  Again, it’s important to remember that you need to make an effort to show to them that you can work seamlessly as part of a team.  It’s also important here that while you need to try and stick out, they also don’t like to see you dominate above others.

Once the assessment day happens, that’s pretty much the last you’ll hear until you know your fate.  Some may get contacted later for a further psych assessment, but not everyone will.  I didn’t and I still got a job, so don’t stress.  Once the offers start coming out, they come out in rounds with about 45 people usually per intake.  These come out every 6 weeks or so typically, and if you didn’t get selected in a particular round, they’ll let you know and they’ll either say ‘You’re still being considered for further rounds’ or ‘You’ve been deemed not suitable’.  There isn’t one mass round of rejections, they seem to do it in stages as well.

You’ll know you’re in when you get an email, asking you to complete a medical assessment.  This is basically the exact same assessment that you’ve got to do when you go on prac, so don’t stress.  Before attending, though, you’ll need serology reports and vaccination records, as well as an optometrist report if you wear glasses. 

Provided the medical assessment goes well, they’ll go on to do a criminal history report and ask you to give them a driving history report which you can get emailed from the transport and main roads website for about $20 from memory.  Once that’s all done, you’ll get your contract and be told the dates of your 6 week induction program at Whyte Island (which is also where the assessment day is held), as well as the station you’ll be at for your GPIP period and then the permanent station after you have finished your GPIP period (NOTE: the station you will be permanently in will very likely be different to where you spend your GPIP).

That’s really it for the application process.  The worst part is obviously the waiting.  Be prepared to wait and to see a very large disparity between the people who are chosen and those who are not or who are left waiting a long time.  QAS’ selection process is very difficult to understand, even clinical educators who ran our 6 week induction didn’t fully understand it.  It seems QAS care more about your ability to work in a team than they do your actual ability as a paramedic.  I have seen people whom I knew to be very competent throughout uni and their pracs to be left waiting or even rejected, and I have seen people whom made their way through with bare minimum passes throughout uni get jobs straight up.  It can be a long process and a long waiting period for many people, so my best advice is to keep yourself busy with a job of some kind in the mean time, and to keep yourself touching up on clinical things every now and then so you don’t forget everything.  The 6 week induction program is an excellent refresher and you really learn a lot of clinical things, but keeping yourself up to date with a bit of study here and there prior to commencing is definitely a good idea.

As for being a GPIP itself, out on road, it is quite a lot different from when you did clinical placements, and will definitely take some getting used to.  You find yourself having to think about things you didn’t have to before, such as where are you going to put the stretcher, even just manoeuvring the stretcher with a patient onboard.  Obviously you also have driving to consider, which is a lot of fun but again, something new to throw on to what is already a very overwhelming event.  Don’t worry, though.  People are supportive of you and your partner will help you navigate these strange waters because, of course, this is a very teamwork-based career where mistakes and errors are shared.

Good luck with your applications and I hope this helped some of you at least get some kind of an understanding of what this process entails, rather than just leaving you even more confused.

As for being a GPIP itself, out on road, it is quite a lot different from when you did clinical placements, and will definitely take some getting used to. You find yourself having to think about things you didn’t have to before, such as where are you going to put the stretcher, even just manoeuvring the stretcher with a patient onboard. Obviously you also have driving to consider, which is a lot of fun but again, something new to throw on to what is already a very overwhelming event. I’m still finding it strange to get myself out of the headspace of not being a student anymore, of actually making clinical decisions and having to look confident on those decisions, not just feeling like you’re making suggestions that your mentors will choose to either act on or not. On one hand, it’s an amazing feeling of freedom, and on the other hand, it’s a little daunting because you feel a little like you’re doing a trapeze act without a net. There’s no longer the safety of having 2 mentors who ultimately make the decisions, it’s you. You’ve got your partner, sure, but it really is on you and in doing your paperwork, again, it’s got your name and signature on it, not your mentor’s. It’s daunting but you do start to get used to it. And don’t worry about how you’ll be treated by other staff. People are supportive of you and your partner will help you navigate these strange waters because, of course, this is a very teamwork-based career where mistakes and errors are shared. Paramedics will ultimately see that you have the same uniform on as them, not that you don’t have 2 stripes under your caduceus. You may not be a “full paramedic” yet, but you’ll get treated as one of the gang. No more having to give up your seats in write up rooms or at station! They’re your seats as much as their’s now!”

[sportsgeekonomics]

My notes/loose transcription of the NCAA v. Alston Supreme Court hearing, March 31, 2021

I am going to try to keep my SCOTUS commentary in this thread and try to be factual (albeit sarcastic, when warranted). Stay tuned. 

And we're up with Roberts introducing the case and asking Seth Waxman to start. Bang... we're off.

Waxman begins with a myth, that college sports have always been amateur. he says 2 errors: lower courts redefined amateurs too narrowly. Then allowed cash payments. This would make college sports professional, he says. He argues the NCAA rules are so clearly good that subjecting them to a full rule of reason is a nightmare. Roberts asks: SO you want Quick Look? Waxman, yes, but we also realize it's a little weird to say we lost at trial but we were so clean there's no way we should have been asked to defend ourselves. Roberts says we've never used Quick Look to dismiss a case. Waxman agrees in a "look over here" way by pivoting to other cases outside of SCOTUS. Roberts interrupts. Asks "pay for play" question WHICH I DID NOT EXPECT. A factual question about amateurism. This bodes well for athletes, I think Thomas up -- says he is curious why coaches aren't also paid less than pro coaches. Waxman explains Law v. NCAA prevents them from doing this. Claims that Law says Amateurism is good but capping coaches pay is wage fixing. Will be interesting what Thomas responds Thomas says it's odd to him coaches pay has ballooned. Now he turns to Board of Regents. Thomas asks if SCOTUS did a quick look re: amateurism in BoR. Waxman has to explain BoR was unrelated to amateurism, but rather TV. He explains the TV restraint was explored under FULL rule of reason. Then he tries to explain the way you get from that to the Quick Look, and cites American Needle "twinkling of an eye"/ Breyer is up. Breyer asks "what are you complaining about?" The injunction? Breyer than says "that could be VERY expensive" (sounds like Breyer is pro-Amateurism, sadly) is that what you are attacking? Waxman says antitrust courts lack the ability to judge amateurism. Breyer is like "what is the line in the injunction that allows the [dreamed of craziness]" Waxman lists some "pay for play" things in the injunction Waxman focuses on the schools' ability to essentially label as educational thing that are not "necessary or reasonably limited" to education Waxman says -- look at college coaches salaries -- they went through the roof. Alito up. Alito lists some of the amici who explain how everything other than college athlete spay is outrageously professional. 

Waxman embraces the State Law NIL stuff -- look this will allow them to be paid, so they will ignore academics and focus on money. List the 35 hour rule (is it 35?) Says only 24-25 schools make money. We have an Everybody's Broke moment! 

Alito is going on on the statistical shenanigans of NCAa grad rates., Asks what the P5 FB grad rate is -- Alito understand those #s are padded with crew and fencing teams. Surprising! omg, Alito paraphrases Schwarz saying Athletes are already paid. Scholarships are a form of pay. Waxman says "not under our definition of pay" Will Alito come back with the idea that the definition game is circular logic? [SPOILER ALERT -- Kavanaugh did just this later!]

Alito says his time is up. Sotomayor up. Why aren't the conferences, which remain allowed to enforce amateurism, still able to to enforce? Waxman claims its a prisoner's dilemma, but the prisoner's dilemma was rejected in this case record. Ken Elzinga explicitly claimed Prisoner's dilemma. Roger Noll demolished the argument. Elzinga dropped it at trial. Waxman answers Sotomayor with slippery slopes, OMG to much judicial supervision. It will be a parade of law suits, with people who were harmed asking for justice. (why is that bad?) 

Elena Kagan brings the FIRE: Isn't amateurism just a price fixing cartel? Why not think of this as competitors getting together with total market power and fixing prices? 

Waxman says the product is not a new thing ( think he's implying this is not a sham). Kagan interrupts. Things have change since 100 years ago. Says she's unmoved. Says "competitors as to labor combining to fix prices" I'm thinking I may propose to J. Kagan. Kagan continues, "Why does there need to be coordination on the cost of labor?" Waxman says "b/c we define the product" by price-fixing. Kagan says that might work except isn't the court's evidence that "lack of pay to play" was not what drives demand. Waxman disputes. Says 10% of people would watch less if $10K grants were given. Then he says this is about product differentiation. She thanks him. Gorsuch up. 

Gorsuch gives a long preamble on how he loves loose JV rules. But then Gorsuch says the same thing as Kagan: Here we have Monopsony control over labor price. That's not the usual JV situation. Why isn't Monopsony control over labor, at least, enough to get to a full rule of reason 

<OMG FREUDIAN SLIP>Waxman says the NCAA is defined as the reduction of COMPETITION. Then corrects himself to Compensation.

He says as long as you accept the NCAA is defined by capped pay, then all you need is abbreviated review. Points to pro-NCAA cases in other circuits. Gorsuch says Waxman did not answer his question. 

Gorsuch asks "does the monopsony status matter for level of rule of reason scrutiny?" Waxman: What level of inquiry rests in step 3. (But I think that admits Rule of Reason, no?)

 Kavanaugh turns to the baseball exemption, as having not been replicated. Suggests Board of reasons is dicta (first "dicta" quote I think). Kavanaugh says it seems "schools are conspiring ... to pay no salaries"  He calls NCAA's logic circular Kavanaugh comes close to asking the Schwarz question  (the Schwarz question is: if school all hate "pay for play," why do you need a rule against it? Who's going to pay?)

Waxman say the NCAA is the most successful product in the history of America. Or he said something close to that. wow. I'd go with the automobile, maybe. 

Waxman says EVEN IF CONSUMERS WERE TOTALLY FINE WITH PAID COLLEGE ATHLETES, we still should be allowed to price fix.

Kavanaugh says if consumers are ok what's wrong with $6K? (btw, I think focusing on the amount is the wrong approach, but the fact that Kavanaugh is doing that strikes me a good sign for athletes). 

Coney Barrett up. She asks "why does the NCAA get to define what pay is?"  She suggests a lot of people play college sports explicitly for the compensation -- getting to go to college. 

Waxman says "well producers get to define their products" So we get to define what we think not-pay is, and so we can say "you aren't being paid" C-B asks "is it procompetitive to say people like to watch unpaid people playing sports?" Very unexpected from her! 

Coney Barrett asks about the effect if NCAA loses. If we rule against you, what's the impact on Title IX. Waxman admits that schools still have to follow Title IX. (which is correct) 

Then Waxman claims evidence in the case shows that schools would cut other sports, men and women. (I believe that is a false statement of the evidence in this case. The only evidence I know shows the money would come from coaches and facilities.)

Waxman summarizing his argument again. Dogs and Cats will live together.  Focuses hard on Our Product is Wage-Fixed Sports. 

Jeffrey Kessler up. He must be nervous b/c I think he said "lawful" when he meant "unlawful"

He is focused on the quick look vs. full rule of reason as his opening statement. Kessler list off all the past times the NCAA has claimed if they had to relax their cartel rules, college sports would die. Each time, the Courts struck the rule down, college sports did not die. "this is more of the same" Roberts interrupts. Roberts asks a question about whether it was wrong to look at a single rule or if the rules should be viewed in their totality. Likens it to Jenga, suggesting there might be a rule-by-rule approach that eventually leads to it all tumbling down. Kessler says the court didn't do that -- rather it started with ALL rules and then looked at the individual rules after. Roberts passes to Thomas. Thomas asks "what if consumers are shown to be fine with $20K, are we back in Court?" Kessler points to the "Patently and Inexplicably" language (in O’Bannon) and says incrementalism of that sort won't happen. Kessler explain that it was the NCAA that said the $5,980. Thomas asks a very knowledgeable sports question: "won't schools cherry pick athletes from the portal" Kessler explains the NCAA did not assert competitive balance b/c that argument was demolished prior to trial. he explains the Patriot league is not competing with the SEC.   [This is true, the NCAA lost their competitive balance argument at summary judgment, meaning it was so weak it didn’t even earn the right to be trotted out at trial] Breyer up. Breyer says it is tough for him. he says it's only partly economic. he sounds VERY much to be in the White dissent camp. He lays out that it could be that the way of viewing the case aren’t really economics. Kessler explains the Society of Engineers case says antitrust is about economics. if you want to go outside of economics, that's Congress, not the court. He then pushes back to Breyer that this would change the sport. Alito tosses Kessler a softball: what is the distinction b/w P5 sports and pro sports. Kessler: The differentiation is that they are students. The educational payments.= may even help that Alito asks whether the NCAA can set *any* educational limits. Kessler says the injunction already does. Quotes Emmert saying it was a good thing. Alito: Is this case the outer limit, or do antitrust laws allow athletes to bargain for things like guaranteed scholarships? Kessler says if they have a restriction that prevents guaranteed scholarships, that might lose. But he emphasizes it would NOT mandate guarantees -- it's about market competition. 

Sotomayor offers Kessler a chance to ask for a better injunction. He declines (I would have taken it, but maybe that's why I am tweeting and he's arguing in Court) Sotomayor asks: isn't the $5,980 just judicial price setting? Kessler answers the Court didn't pick that number. the NCAA did. Kagan up. Kagan offers Kessler the same chance to ask for more again. Kessler takes it this time, says We advocated for Conference competition. Essentially asks for the clean injunction. Kagan focuses on the amount. Kessler explains survey showing $10K was ok. Mentions $50K insurance Kagan follows up, asking whether $5,980 is too arbitrary. Kessler focused on the words of the injunction. 

Gorsuch now comes back to his love of JV law. Mentions the "new product that otherwise would not exist" standard. He asks, about law (not facts). What makes a searching inquiry into the JV appropriate? 

Kessler says, the easier standard IS the Rule of Reason. 

Gorsuch begs Kessler to say the Monopsony power of the NCAA makes JV scrutiny important.

Kessler takes the bait, explains that unlike other JVs, there's no market test of whether the JV is picking a pro-comp. Points to FN7 of AmNeedle. Kavanaugh asks whether Kessler agrees athletes must be enrolled student in good standing.  Then says we need to ask what the NEXT case would be. What is the end game for athlete litigation? Kavanaugh echoes Breyer saying he is concerned. Kessler focuses on antitrust. Says the end game is the NCAA to be subject to rule of reason. Says facts would have to change in the future but today they are no different than yesterday. 

Coney Barrett up, suggests both courts were concerned about doing too much. She thinks the lower Courts were being tepid (my word). Given all of that, how is the injunction is a substantially less restrictive? Kessler says these are life-changing benefits, hence substantial. 

Kessler summarizing now: He turns to the rule of reason issue again -- they failed to show their rules were reasonable under rule of reason and rule of reasonable provides ample latitude (using NCAA's favorite). Mentions there will be no parade of horribles, and other pro-Defendant rules 

Now the gov't is up. 

Elizabeth Prelogar is acting Solicitor General.

She is arguing about the Monopsony Power & Rule of reasons things Roberts says the rules changes may be moderate but the legal concepts were not. Should Courts micromanage joint ventures. Prelogar says the Rule of Reason is the proper deference for JVs. She also says step 3 of RoR is not for marginal changes. Thomas up. Thomas says -- won't any NCAA rule be a litigation-palooza? Prelogar leans into the PCJ the NCAA advances. I am not feeling the love for Solicitor Prelogar for being so into amateurism. However, she redeems herself in my book by explaining that Amateurism is not an antitrust good in an of itself. Rather, it needs to be tied to consumer demand. Thomas asks about the $10K... $20K.. etc. if the facts change, Prelogar says, then yes, we should re-examine. She explains if NCAA continues to restraint trade, it SHOULD be subject to more litigation.  [THIS IS THE RIGHT ANSWER --- if you want people to stop suing you for price fixing, stop fixing prices!] Breyer up. Asks, don't some JVs have non-economic goals? Prelogar explains that SCOTUS has said many times that Socially beneficial goals is not "cognizable" (allowed as a reason) under antitrust laws. Unless Congress carves out NCAA, the Court needs to think about economics. 

Alito asks what is the NCAA's differentiation. Prelogar says Bona Fide Students but then adds And Not Paid beyond Education. Obviously I don't love the second half. 

Alito asks: Let's say fans don't like highly paid PRO athletes either... these are not pro-NCAA questions. 

Sotomayor asks "how can we be sure we won't destroy college sports?"

Instead of going Andy Schwarz an explaining how labor markets set pay vis-a-vis consumer demand, Prelogar just says the injunction was very narrow. Sotomayor asks about the $5,980. Prelogar focuses on how the amount was based on the athletic awards that don't ruin college sports, so academic rules are ok. 

Kagan asks whether the $5,980 is arbitrary. Prelogar says it's not a requirement to give this amount. it's an allowance not requirement. She also focuses on how the NCAA can define restriction to make it bona fide. Kagan: Could the court have gone further? Prelogar: yes, 

Gorsuch on "light look" for JV's that create new products again. he says "that assumes a competitive market."  But here NCAA has Monoposny, and that justifies stricter look. Gorsuch channels Rascher & Schwarz (2000) saying that if conference set rules, this would be different.

 Prelogar also goes all Rascher & Schwarz (2000) saying that no one conference had market power. Gorsuch says the same. This is like they read our paper!  Gorsuch even says fans could root for more amateur teams if that what they want. 

Kavanaugh asks Prelogar whether these are just sham payments.

She explains the injunction allows NCAA prevention of scams. 

I am still reveling that Gorsuch and Prelogar essentially parrotted the paper @daniel_rascher and I wrote back in 1999 and published in 2000. 

Coney Barrett is up. She is asking about whether cross-market balancing is good or bad. Prelogar says this is a bad case to consider that major issue b/c no one briefed it. She is like Don't GO Here. 

Prelogar summarizes that the NCAA is wrong to say their rules must be immune from analysis b/c it is amateur. Instead they must show that amateurism itself is procompetitive. (more Rascher & Schwarz language). Waxman up on rebuttal. Waxman: Monopony power does NOT change the NCAA's right to define their product and receive deference for that definition. Waxman directly addresses Breyer, who was clearly the most pro-NCAA in his rhetoric. "Net consumer demand IS NOT the test." (wow) The test is whether a business can define its product definition. [I think if this is true, "Unpaid-Labor Produced Sneakers" would be legal] "once it is determined that 'no-pay amateurism'" differentiates the NCAA, that basically means they can't be questioned on those rules.] Then he whines about lots of litigation. 

---end of hearing---

Ok, well that was NOT at all what I expected. I think Waxman should be glad for Justice Breyer. I was pleasantly surprised by the Kagan-Gorsuch-Coney Barrett axis focusing on the Rascher-Schwarz hypothesis. here's the paper I was referencing: Rascher and Schwarz Neither Reasonable nor Necessary.pdf 

If you'd asked me beforehand what the odds are of it being a hourlong /barf session of paeans to Amateurism, I would said even odds or higher. So I am still a little in shock at how differently it went.

[dailyaudiobible]

03/27/2021 DAB Transcript

Deuteronomy 7:1-8:20, Luke 7:36-8:3, Psalms 69:1-18, Proverbs 12:1

Today is the 27th day of March welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I'm Brian it is great to be here with you as we close another week and…and we’ll release it and it will become a part of our history and it will be in the past. But right now, it's the present and we’re here to take the next step forward in the Scriptures. We’ve been reading from the English Standard Version this week and we’ve been moving into the book of Deuteronomy and we’re well underway during this week and will continue that journey. We find ourselves situated in the second of three discourses that make up the book of Deuteronomy, Moses last sayings. And, so, we’ll pick up where we left off yesterday. Deuteronomy chapters 7 and 8.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word. We thank You for all that…all that has transpired in the Scriptures since we began this journey nearly 3 months ago now. And we thank You for where we are in the gospel of Luke. We thank You for where we are in the book of Deuteronomy as we’re just listening to Moses impassioned pleas to Your people about their future and we hear those pleas, and we look at our own lives and we see that so often we have been guilty of straying into and onto pathways that only lead to death and destruction. And we are grateful for the counsel of Your word. We are grateful for the counsel of wisdom. We are grateful for the leading of Your Holy Spirit to continually remind us there is clean, there is unclean, there is a way things work, there is a path that leads to life, a path that we will never be able to walk without Your guidance. But Your word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our pat. And, so, Come Holy Spirit, plant the words of this week deep into the soul so that they might yield fruit, the fruit of the Spirit in our lives in the time of harvest. Come Jesus we pray in Your mighty name. Amen.

Announcements:

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So, the Community section, this where the Prayer Wall is, this is where we are praying for one another on a continual basis. So, be familiar with that. It’s always on, never off. You can always find people to pray for. You can always ask for prayer at the Prayer Wall. And in the Community section there’s also links to the different social media channels that we are on. So, definitely be familiar with that as well.

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And as always if you have a prayer request or encouragement you can hit the Hotline button in the app or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hello, DABbers this is David calling from California. I have been listening to the DAB since last year and I am just so very thankful for Brian and Jill every day. I listen to them every single day. I even skip ahead if I can sometimes. And I'm just, like I said, so very thankful for Brian and Jill and the Daily Audio Bible family. Right now though DABbers I'm just asking for prayers right now for myself. I feel like I'm going through this spiritual battle right now to where I'm…the…the enemies coming in and I'm…and my doubts and my fears are taking over and I'm not having trust and faith in the Lord as I should and then it's just causing me to have so much stress and anxiety to the point where it's just basically manifesting in my body where like I feel like I'm about to have a heart attack. Every day it just hurts my chest and everything and my whole body and everything and DABbers I just I ask for your prayers right now that…that I can drive the enemy out and just have…get closer to God and just have a better relationship with Him and have more faith and more trust in Him every day and that I can just not feel this pain like I do and that I can be healed and be healthy and be a better person for my family and everything as I'm going through such this difficult time right now. It's just so stressful...

Hello DAB I am…this is my first-time calling in. This is Mister Sun Walk Around the Blues and I'd like to ask for a prayer request. My cousin who is 16 years old, he is a high schooler and he and his girlfriend have been together for about two years and she's 15 and we just found out about a week ago that she's pregnant. And, so, they're obviously going through a really tough time at the moment as is most of our family, you know, their parents. And I'd like to ask for you guys to join me in prayer for wisdom both for my cousin and his girlfriend and for from my family going through this. Not everybody sees eye to eye on how this should proceed. And, so, being such a volatile situation and something that could go wrong really quickly I think that I just wanted to ask the Lord to step into that and to enter into the huge mess that it is and that He would be glorified and that my cousin and His girlfriend would be honored and the baby as well. So, I'm just trying to give up to the Lord and let Him do his thing with that. So, yeah, thank you.

Hi DAB friends this is Rob Still Worship dude in Nashville TN and I have a big prayer request but first man I just gotta say it is such a blessing to hear all the testimonies and as well as like the prayer requests and the words of encouragement people call in as well as their intercessions. So, like somehow man I just think you guys who stay on here and listen and pray and call in, I think that this is a work of the Kingdom of God and it's really important somehow in God's economy. So, as far as my prayer request you guys can help me bear a couple burdens. First, I put on the Facebook page for DAB my father passed away on March 12th and it's a time of, you know, mourning for me and my family and but we don't grieve as those who have no hope like Paul says in first Thessalonians, you know. My dad he was a good man, and he loved the Lord, but he had a long-term illness, and God in His infinite mercy and wisdom knew it was his time. So, anyway I appreciate your prayers for my family as we kind of had this time of mourning and we really need the wisdom of the Holy Spirit how to do this in a healthy way. The second thing though and this is my big ask, man I feel like I almost need a miracle to fulfill my responsibilities for my independent contracting work and especially I'm in the middle of a big academic project. I'm working on my doctorate and I'm so far behind and I really really need to get this done during this term. And, so, if you guys could just pray the Lord would help me, send his Angels man to get this project done with excellence. I would really appreciate it. The Lord be with you. Thank you.

Good morning DAB. Good morning. Good morning to you. Good day. Good day to you. I just want to start the day off taking a deep breath to being still and knowing that God is God. May that just soak in this moment. Be still and know that I am God. Be still and know that God is God. I just would like to celebrate some prayer requests that I've heard on March 23rd. One was from a military person…sorry about that…and she was talking about true North and I was…and she was like talking about conviction for it and I just wanted to say that you gave me conviction. You gave me conviction for it. And I just want to say thank you and bless you and may we have that self-awareness, that self-control to really understand that it's God and not just us, that God is our true North and that's my prayer today. Also celebrating someone's name, the Burning Bush which will not be Devoured for Our Lord. That's just a beautiful name, a very encouraging name. And now this time I just thank you all for listening to this podcast and may God bless you today and may you have that self-awareness knowing that God is true north and remaining in silence knowing that God is God. I love you brothers and sisters.

[go-redgirl]

Forget Bribery, Now It’s Abuse Of Power Rush Limbaugh.com ^ | December 4, 2019 | Rush Limbaugh

RUSH: I’m holding here in my formerly nicotine-stained fingers a piece today at Breitbart by Joel B. Pollak, and the headline is: “Adam Schiff’s Report Cites No ‘Bribery’ or ‘High Crimes;’ Only Tweets.” Now, I wonder why this is. If you recall, let’s go back to early days of the Schiff committee hearings. You remember what they were preceded by? Pelosi out there saying the president had committed “bribery.” Bribery! They had never alluded to bribery at all, and then all of a sudden before the Schiff hearings get going, it’s bribery.

You know why? ‘Cause bribery is one of the things mentioned in the Constitution’s impeachment clause: High crimes, misdemeanors, bribery. Yet Schiff’s report doesn’t mention bribery. These witnesses today, they haven’t talked much about bribery at all. You know what they’ve been talking about? Abuse of power. That’s what all their messages have been about. So, once again, the Democrats struck out. They went out and they focus grouped the terms they were using.

Remember “quid pro quo” didn’t work but “bribery” did. So they shifted to bribery. Then they had their hearings, and guess what? The audiences plummeted during those two weeks. So bribery didn’t even come close. So now it’s time to change the strategy. Well, wait a minute. Why do you have to change the strategy if there are real impeachable offenses here? Just lay ’em out. Whatever the president’s done that is a high crime and misdemeanor, tell us about it. But they haven’t because there isn’t anything.

Instead, we are getting focus group-directed strategies by the Democrats. So now obviously… Bribery’s not in the Schiff report. All those witnesses, Yovanovitch, Fiona Hill, Bill Taylor, George Kent — O Say Can You See Vindman, all of them, were focused and oriented on the bribery aspects, that Trump was bribing the president of Ukraine with aid if he didn’t get the investigation of Biden. So they got Wile E. Coyoted. Now, they’re on to something new here. So what we are witnessing is an actual strategic maneuver that isn’t based on anything impeachable.

The Democrats are running political opposition research. They are creating a campaign issue to create a black mark on Trump’s resume for the 2020 presidential campaign, and now they have settled on “abuse of power,” and what is this abuse of power? Well, according to the programmed and scripted question-and-answer testimony today, the abuse of power is Trump “colluding with a foreign government to investigate a political opponent.” Trump colluding with… They’re heading back to Russia, folks.

Well, they never really left it. But they’re trying to tie what they think into it. They have created this belief, this phantom belief in the minds of millions Americans that the Russians tampered with the election and Trump helped ’em and colluded. “Russian meddling” means frustrations messed around with voting machines. That’s what they mean by it. That’s what they want people to believe, and so now Trump has all of a sudden… “Forget bribery. Nope! I guess there’s no bribery.

“Uh, high crimes and misdemeanors? Well, we don’t know what those are. The academics are trying to tell us what, uh, high crimes and misdemeanors are. High crimes and misdemeanor is now putting a picture of Mar-a-Lago on the State Department website. A high crime and misdemeanor calling the press ‘the enemy of the people’ and ‘fake news.’ He’s abusing his power. He’s calling us names. He’s calling liberal Democrats names. He’s insulting us.”

So now they moved on to presidential abuse of power. It’s patently obvious to me. Now, is presidential abuse of power easy to understand than bribery? Is it easier to prove, is it easier to illustrate to mind-numbed robots on the Democrat side watching this? Because that’s been the sole focus. Every one of these three hacks acting as scholarly lawyers has focused on abuse of power and how it threatens the Constitution and how George Washington warned everybody about it, and about how James Madison warned everybody about it — and even the king of England was worried about.

All these people were worried about abuse of presidential abuse of power.

(chuckles) How many presidents don’t? As they’re defining it today, how many presidents do not abuse power? The whole nature of the establishment of our government is a fight for power. The three branches are constantly fighting for more and more power. The legislative wants to get power from the executive. The executive wants to deny them and get more power for himself. Abuse of power? The way they’re setting this up, there isn’t a president in the future safe from impeachment. They don’t care. But all of this — bribery and then abandoning it, and whatever else — now settling on abuse of power, it still adds up to one thing.

They’ve got nothing.

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

Rush: Proving my point that they’ve moved on from bribery, the Democrats now have a coordinated effort to accuse Trump of abuse of power. A New York Times headline a little over an hour ago: “Impeachment Hearing Update: Scholars Testify Trump’s Actions Are An Impeachable Abuse of Power.”

I’m telling you, folks, the media has convened the Democrats, they’ve come up with a new coordinated strategy. Gone is bribery. Gone is extortion. Hello abuse of power. I know these people like I know anything else well, folks.

_________________________________________________________________

OPINION: The Democrats are the ones that’s been abusing their power every since Donald J. Trump was elected President Of The United State by The People In This Country.

In fact, they started even before President Trump was sworn into office.  That along shows everyone in this country how devious and corrupt the Democrats in Congress are and they’ve been doing everything to bring this President down. 

They’ve also shown during this ‘so-called’ impeachment hearings how evil, on-sided, hateful, conniving, under-handed, devious this group of politicians we have in Congress.  If they do something as pertinacious as trying to impeach the President based on anything that they can come up with while putting our country on hold for the many, many legislations that that should be worked on and passed for the need of this country, these people would do anything to get what they want, and the heck with the American Citizens.  

In other words, its all about the Democrats and absolutely nothing about the American People.

Term limits needed in Congress more so than ever.  The Democrats have made sure that the American people come last or not at all in their political bubble.  No politician should ever hold a life time position in Congress ever.

If a President can hold only two terms then either that should increase to three terms or Congress set term limits for our Congressional Staff for no more than ten years!  

Because something got to give in this country.  Our two political party system in Congress have gotten out of hand.  In other words, the Democrats believe that they control this country.  And that a scary thought in many minds in this country.  They put up ‘smoke-screens’ to take the focus off of their obstructionist acts and underhand schemes to in rich themselves.

Enough is enough!

[teimywimey]

My first fic posted to AO3 (or anywhere)!

Summary:

Every person is born with their soulmate's name written somewhere on their body. Symmetra’s used to be on her left wrist.

Or

Sombra has no real connections. The person she used to be did, but it’s better this way. Soulmates complicate things.

Chapter under the cut

As hard as Satya tries, she can’t forget the strange golden letters that had once glinted on her left wrist. No one in her family had been able to read the foreign alphabet. She had hoped, when Vishkar had plucked her from her home and enrolled her in their academy, that someone would have been able to read her soulmate’s name for her. But they had told her to put it out of her mind and focus on her studies. Then the gleam was gone, replaced by flat white and a soft, glowing blue.

---

A dingy gay bar somewhere on Route 66 isn’t where Sombra expects to meet a world-famous pop star, especially on Christmas Eve, but here she is. Even more convenient was the overlap between this and another job she had been given. The place is a comfortable kind of quiet. Most of the patrons seem to know each other, even though all but a few sit alone. Some curiously eye Sombra - a couple women with obvious desire in their expressions.

Sombra loves the attention, of course, but there are more important matters at hand. She sends a last flirtatious look to the woman in the corner with full sleeves and turns back to the young man who has just sat down across from her.

“Lúcio Correia dos Santos,” she says, grinning. “A pleasure to finally meet you.”

He smiles back at her. “It’s about time, isn’t it?”

“I suppose it is. So, what have you got for me? And why did you want to meet in person?”

Lúcio shrugs. “This place is on the way from Vegas to Phoenix, and I figured I may as well have some fun before the next show.”

“So you snuck out to go to a gay bar,” Sombra teases.

“Hey now, this can’t be the first time either of us have done this.” They laugh, then Lúcio sobers. “To answer your other question, stuff has been up in Rio. We haven’t seen the architechs in months. The security forces are still around, of course.” His expression hardens at the thought of the private police force Vishkar employs to keep the citizens of his city ‘in order.’ “I’ve heard they’re talking to Lumérico about redeveloping Dorado.”

Sombra nods, hiding the concern that sweeps through her. “They are. It’s been in the cards for a while. You gotta give me more than that, man.”

“ I know.” Lúcio sighs. “Listen, about the architechs? I dug into their backgrounds when you gave me the info on Vishkar, and there’s some stuff that just doesn’t make sense.”

“How do you mean?”

He digs into his pocket and pulls out a data cache. “Take a look.”

Sombra takes the cache - one she had given Lúcio over a year ago when they had first started working together - and connects to it, her enhancements glowing slightly brighter for a moment in the dim light of the bar. There is information from the last forty years, mostly from India: birth and death records, news articles, school transcripts, police reports, bank statements, and on and on and on. The data seems almost mundane until Sombra pauses to consider it more carefully. Transcripts that end with a note that the student withdrew or transferred are followed by missing persons reports. Others are followed by bank transfers out of the blue - many to previously empty accounts. The few police reports that any progress had been made on are followed by articles about unidentifiable bodies being pulled out of rivers. Her eyebrows raise as she notes that many of the records have been marked as deleted in the databases they originated from. She looks at the profiles of the architechs. Names, approximate ages, and even academic records all seem to match up. It takes her less than a minute to analyze all of it, and when she finishes, she looks back to Lúcio.

“So Vishkar has been kidnapping kids and/or coercing parents into giving their children up for decades.” She runs her hand through her hair and lets out a long, slow breath. “That’s low, even for them.”

Lúcio nods grimly. “And some of my people have come to me - teachers talking about missing students, kids who haven’t seen their siblings in days, parents who can’t find their children - Vishkar is doing the exact same thing in Rio, I know they are.”

“Most of this data is from India.”

“Which is where Vishkar was founded, forty-three years ago. It’s also where their academy is. But there are similar reports from everywhere they’ve expanded since then.” Lúcio takes a breath. “I was gonna pursue this myself, but I’m not as good at this stuff as you. You get the information, I empower the people. I’m way out of my league here.”

Sombra nods. “Alright, then. I’ll look into it and keep you updated.” She extracts the information from the data cache and replaces it with new files. “Here’s what I’ve got for you.”

He accepts it immediately and looks through the first few documents. “Helix owns Vishkar’s security force?”

“They contracted them through a shell company.”

“I see,” he says, frowning. “It’s good to finally meet you, Sombra. I should get going. I’ll keep you posted if I find out anything else.”

“Likewise. Have a good show in Phoenix, man.”

“Thanks,” he smiles and slips out of the booth, then leaves the bar.

Sombra leans back into the cushions for a moment, then stands and goes to the bar for a drink. The vodka tastes cheap and disgusting. She looks at it dubiously for a moment, trying to figure out if it has been poisoned or is just that bad. The bartender shoots her a dirty look.

She checks her Talon communicator. There was only one message, from Gabe: ‘Status report.’

‘The cowboy is fine,’ Sombra responds, looking down the bar to the strangely dressed man Gabe had asked her to tail over the holidays. ‘Drunk, but fine.’

The little check mark appears at the bottom of the screen. Sombra waits for a few moments, then sends off another message.

‘You know, you can text people back.’ The check mark appears again.

Rustling cloth and a warm body settling on a stool beside her distract Sombra from Gabe’s poor texting etiquette. The tattooed woman looks her up and down before tapping on the counter. As the bartender pulls a bottle down from the shelf behind him, she speaks.

“Haven’t seen you around here before. New in town?”

“Just passing through.” Sombra rests her elbow on the bar and looks over the woman’s arms, watching the muscles flex as she reaches out to take the drink the bartender sets in front of her.

The woman nods and takes a sip of her drink. She notices the way Sombra looks at her muscles, so she grins and flexes. Sombra holds up a hand and looks at the woman, asking for permission through eye contact. The woman nods again. Sombra pointedly retracts her nails, making the woman snicker, and squeezes her bicep. The muscle is thick and hard, but Sombra feels something even more intriguing under her palm - the slightly raised lines of the woman’s soul mark.

“You covered it up?” Sombra asks, curious, and not at all invested in losing or maintaining the woman’s interest in her.

The woman rolls her eyes. “Don’t tell me you actually believe in that shit. You waiting for your ‘one and only’ or something?” She snarks.

Sombra knows what the woman wants to hear. “No way. I make my own choices.”

The woman gives her a wry smile. “To free will,” she says, holding up her drink.

“To free will,” Sombra responds, clinking their glasses together.

---

Hours later, Sombra sits in her hotel room, going over the reports Lúcio had given her. The tattooed woman had been entertaining for a while, but Sombra had left as soon as she had fallen asleep. She had never been particularly concerned with finding her soulmate, though she knew that the woman was out there. Just because we’re soulmates it doesn’t mean everything is going to magically be perfect.

When she has compiled the data in a way she likes, she turns her attention to Vishkar itself. Their firewalls are easy enough to surpass, the advanced security simple to override. It would almost be fun if it wasn’t so easy. She picks out files pertaining to the architech academy. The intense academic rigor and draconian rules make her roll her eyes. Control freaks. Curious, she looks through the top students in each year from the past few decades, and finds one name consistently at the top.

Satya Vaswani.

Sombra pauses for a moment, then shakes her head. Satya is a common name, isn’t it? But she can’t help herself. She goes to the woman’s file and starts meticulously digging.

She isn’t quite sure what she’s looking for, why she feels a strange need to understand the person represented by the data on her holoscreens. She discovers Satya’s codename is Symmetra, that she had been ‘discovered’ in Hyderabad twenty-two years ago, and that she is probably the best architech on Vishkar’s payroll. Recent notes indicate that someone called ‘SK’ - presumably Satya’s boss or handler - is concerned about the architech’s dedication to Vishkar. ‘Response to events in while on assignment in Rio’ are cited as SK’s reason for doubt. Sombra narrows her eyes and remembers to look over the events surrounding Vishkar’s contract with the Brazilian government again soon. Satya’s academic records testify to her incredible skill with hard-light. Intrigued, she watches recordings of practical exams. Unlike her fellow students, Satya manipulates her tech with a fluid grace, reminding Sombra of a dancer. Her non-traditional method had been the subject of debate among the higher-ups of Vishkar, but they had ultimately agreed that the minor rule-breaking could be tolerated due to its effectiveness. Sombra scoffs. Of course.

As she looks through the architech’s medical files, she finds another video that piques her interest. She selects it. Based on the date displayed in the top right corner, it would have been filmed about a year and a half after Vishkar had ‘found’ Satya.

It is a psychological evaluation.

Sombra watches curiously as the doctors put ten-year-old Satya through a series of tests. She does quite well on the intellectual challenges, but is frequently stumped by emotional tasks. At one point, something overwhelms her, and she claps her hands over her ears to deafen herself. It is then that Sombra sees the flash of gold on Satya’s left wrist.

She pauses and rewinds the video, trying to get a closer look. The letters seem eerily familiar in their pattern of lines and angles, but the camera is too far away to make them out clearly. Sombra exits out of the video and flicks through all the other images of Satya like a woman possessed. Eventually she finds one where the mark is clear, and she has to compare it to a current photo, because this cannot be happening, there is no way, no, it can’t be. But the girl in the photo and the video had unmistakably grown up into the woman that was Vishkar’s top architech. It can’t be her. It’s not true.

But it is.

Sombra sits back, letting out a shaky breath. She looks down at the mark on her wrist, which she had been subconsciously rubbing with her thumb - the flowing golden script in a strange alphabet, which her processors now automatically translate for her.

Satya.

[drennalynspast]

[ repetitive explanations ]

Sunday, Jan. 11, 2009

oh gawd, does she have to keep crying about it >.> .  The fact is that I basically told several things [not details like zomg I failed chemistry - am literally getting a damned w/f on my transcript now (due to unsympathetic professor) ].   a big mistake was that I probably should -not- have told her I got another conditional acceptance.  I told her how I sent a letter that I declined it.  and she is all "wtf!" 

I told as much as I could. It’s just -their- fucking problem about  how they can't simply comprehend the situation at hand.  even if I have to recite my explanation over again to a letter "t" - she still is going to be confused as hell.  

I basically told dad and mom:  "I am not doing pharmacy anymore."  "I have little interest in the classes and as a result, I am doing poorly in them."   "oh hay, but I’m gonna do health science instead *thinking: "so don't flip your shit about me doing something else (aka liberal arts) sporadically"*"

dad/mom: "what program are you going to do in health science?"

me: I don't know yet.

mom: physical therapists make a lot of money too blah blah blah

me: *getting angry* don't tell me what major/ what I should do now. 

dad:  I’m okay with whatever you choose. it's fine. 

 to mom: don't tell her what she needs to choose mom:  [insert woe story about her concern for us]

on that day, I was also talking to dad about how I’ve been seeing the counselor a couple of times in the past - talking to her.  "and she ..and I think that maybe I need to start taking antidepressants..."

And then, he changed the conversation or said something unrelated to that.  Seriously, I was speaking.  It's not like you couldn't hear me.  I mean, how can you not hear me and dismiss that?  Anyway, I just assume that he ignored it or didn’t' want to get involved in that sort of discussion.  Jacob and I were talking about how the Asian culture (like this old generation) may not be accepting or convinced of struggles due to emotional weakness from some sort of biological/chemical factor.  

And the fucking fact about how they don't give a shit about my personal feelings  - it's all about the concrete result that we give out (like grades, success, money and acceptance) that gets recognition.   I’m -fucking- through with even trying to say my personal feelings to them.  I have already scheduled an appointment to dr. __ and talk to her to diagnose/prescribe me anti-depressants.   dad called me today.  He asked, "did you make an appointment to see dr. ___ Tuesday?".  (The clinic calls home to remind the appointment).   I said, "Yes".  He said, "Okay, bye".    I don't know if he knows or what they are thinking...but he did not ask.  I’m relieved though.

I try to talk to them.  I know my limits on what to say at times because I know it will just make it harder and more difficult.  it's not like I am withholding everything from them.  It’s just simply that -they do not understand-.   I know myself more than anyone else.  I know my strengths and weaknesses.  I know how I did throughout my courses.  I took a look back at my grades, my habits.  I reflected and pondered upon them.  I know my low interest had an effect on my low motivation to study for the material as much as I could.   even if I tried studying - another individual who has studied the same amount of time like I have may still perform better than me.

of course, of course, there's the whole:  "ohhhh if I just try really hard.  I can do anything!!!!!!".    Well, you know what?  Sometimes, that just does not cut it.   it works for some people, yes.  but it does not work for me.  I fucking gave it a shot in the first place.  you know how I was never fond of chemistry or math.  But, I took the approach at attempting to do chemistry to see if I can get successful in it.   I tried.  meh.

Can I make it through college now?  I was baww'ing at my other academic counselor (the health sciences one). I asked him will an 'f' on my transcript hurt prevent me from getting accepted to whatever shit or succeeding in life.  he said, "no, since you are a junior, you have 60+ more hours that outweigh that 3 credit hour 'f' ".  

 I still feel sad/shattered/broken about the scar on my transcript.  buuut...I'm not going to let it bring me down.  I’m not going to let that tell me I am a failure as an individual over. no -_-.

You won't believe the talks I’ve had with other people [my friends] about all this.  

I understand the Asian culture and their concern for their offspring.   after their struggles, attempts  to do things for their children - you think their sob stories will inspire you to put much effort in your own work to make the proud and you become successful as well.  it works for some kids.   it did not work for me.  it's not like I don't fucking know what the hell is going on.  it's not like I am unwire of my laziness/unmotivation is hurting myself.   I am aware.  oh yes.  you can give me 97497498 motivational speeches about the value of life, success, hard work, money, family values,  how to make yourself motivated and become undepressed if you exercise/sleep/go out more/eat healthy and raise your serotonin/endorphinshit - it's just going to pass right through me.

cleeearly something is missing.  Something is wrong.  Maybe I am just sick of school and discouraged at this point.  maybe I am just fucked up in the head and I need some happy pills.  Maybe a change of major is what I need to do.   I need to just reevaluate who I am - what are my interests, what does linda want.  No - it's not about what the family wants.

And you know what?  I don't need anymore bullshit about how I should approach in making my decisions in choosing my major.  this time, I’m going to research the courses that correlate to the field.  if I enjoy the courses as well as the field description, maybe I will become more motivated.

Well yeah,  it's not like I don't like pharmacy..  but...obviously chemistry has such a strong connection with pharmacy. and that has become my weakness.  Apparently the money/job background of pharmacy was not enough for me to make me want to try hard[er] in chemistry.  y'see - that's the thing.   Sometimes you reach a roadblock in life and the attempts to try to overcome it will just cause a more stress and waste time.  if you simply take an alternate route, things may get easier and you know what? maybe I will do my job better and be more happier in the health science profession.  omfg!!!! did anyone ever think of that?

of course I feel sad and disappointed. but, right now - I don't need to face judgmental people at the moment.  I don't need fucking pity.  I don't need suggestions that only accommodate your selfish needs.  I don't need to be looked down as an inferior/lesser individual who has failed from just doing a rerouting of life. Everyone deals with this all the time. Outside bashing opinions just makes me feel worse as it is.   Right now,  all I just want is for people to accept it and deal with it.  if they can accept it without any form of anger or sadness and a calmer understanding, then I will feel less pressured any maybe feel like people truly support me for once. 

[zipgrowth]

How an Alternative School Helped One Student Find His Way From Suspension to Graduation

“When I come to school I got hella things on my mind. Sometimes I don’t even sleep at night. I go hungry on purpose, cause I lose my appetite. I get to school and make myself angry. I was raised to live a lie. My older brother raised me, but he was doing drugs. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to talk it out. I hit myself. I may hit my best friend. It’s very confusing. Gang violence, drug violence, drug dealing. When my parents would fight, I wouldn’t eat. I started stealing and selling drugs. I felt none of them cared about me. Then I OD’d and was on the verge of death and they finally started caring. Then I started trying to OD more to get them to keep caring.”

That's Ray, an 11th grade student at Marietta Alternative Placement (MAPs), an alternative program for students in Marietta City Schools in Atlanta. The student population at MAPs is mostly comprised of learners who have been placed on long-term suspension and are banned from their home schools, usually (though not always) pending some type of criminal charge. The program is designed to meet students where they are, help them grow academically, emotionally and socially, but most of all, it exists to support them in overcoming often significant out-of-school challenges and build their way out of their complicated circumstances.

MAPs wasn’t always designed this way. The program was previously run through a third-party company unsuccessfully for several years. I have been working in alternative education for my entire career, and in my experience, alternative education programs too often become a dumping ground. Districts seem to be more interested in sequestering students rather than helping them grow. According to the superintendent, Grant Rivera, that’s what had happened to MAPs. It had become a place to “send kids.” It looked like a computer lab with a babysitter.

A Rocky Start

Ray came to the MAPs program from Texas in September 2018. He had no transcript—only his class schedule from his prior school, which included advanced placement (AP) classes. He was assigned to MAPs because he transferred while on long-term suspension, and in line with common practice, my district upheld his suspension. From his records, I knew he had a history of drug abuse and drug-related crimes, but most of the information I had was non-specific. He was very well-spoken and his schedule appeared to include challenging academic classes—something wasn’t adding up. Once we got to talking and he started opening up, I knew he was in trouble.

“Everyone in Texas treated me like a criminal, but I was a straight-A student. I was feeling stupid depressed. I OD’d on some prescription medications during state testing. I was throwing up in the trash can and then I passed out. The teacher just thought I fell asleep. The whole day I couldn’t walk straight. My friend had to help me get to class. No one said a word to me. No teacher asked if I was OK. I was pale, stumbling, sweaty and my lips were hella red because I was throwing up blood.” —Ray

I said we’d get his transcripts from Texas and see if we could help him get the high school credits he had already earned so he wouldn’t be set back any further. Noticing the AP classes on his current schedule, I suggested that if he passed his diagnostic exams, he would have the freedom to accelerate through the curriculum at his own pace on his own schedule.I had just joined MAPs a few months earlier, and I didn’t know what to say to Ray. But I knew I needed to do right by this kid. No one else had.

Ray rolled his eyes; he didn’t believe me. He said I’d try to get his transcripts, get blocked by his old school and then give up. Immediately, I thought of Coach Flowers. If anyone could help Ray, it was him.

Flowers, who had taught AP classes for over a decade and now worked alongside me at MAPs, had a gift. He knew how to find the right balance of challenge and support, and how to help students believe they could rise to a challenge they were faced with. There was no one I trusted more to approach this work with humanity and give these kids the respect they deserved and needed to succeed. I spoke with Flowers about working with our new student, Ray.

Flowers’ first move was to push as hard as he could for those transcripts. In his most earnest voice, laden with a Southern accent, Flowers made some difficult phone calls. A few faxes and emails later, we had the entirety of Ray’s transcripts from Texas, which was a remarkable feat for a mid-semester out-of-state transfer student. His grades were impressive. He had taken quite a few AP classes and had received A’s and B’s.

Confident that Ray could pass the state test, I asked if he was up for taking it in the next few weeks. I explained that we would collaborate to develop some meaningful, project-based assignments so he could complete his coursework in a relatively short amount of time, and that if he finished his coursework and passed the state test, he could finish two semesters of literature in three weeks. With a stunned look on his face, Ray said he was in.

For the next few weeks, we worked together toward this goal, and in November he passed his 11th grade state ELA End of Course test with an 82 percent. For kids who have fallen through the cracks and are marginalized and ignored, busywork doesn’t hold any meaning. However, goals with tangible rewards like this matter a lot. For Ray, moving forward was everything.

The Road to Graduation

Once he experienced a bit of success, he took charge in a bigger way. He asked for access to all of the classes he needed to complete to graduate and began moving through them more independently. I talk to him, encourage him and in some cases, provide choices that he may not have considered. Generally, though, I try to stay away from the cliched “make good choices” speech. Ray has the most success when we work together, not when he is being told what to do.

When he first came to MAPs five months ago, Ray was defeated by life and didn’t trust anyone. Now, he has completed the coursework and tests for his junior and senior years in just a few months. He has finished all of his credits and we’re currently processing his paperwork so he can graduate in March.

The academic support has been critical, but it wasn’t the only thing that helped Ray move forward. With support from our social worker, we got him a bus pass, which immediately improved his attendance. We recognized that we needed to support Ray’s mental health, too. Since he arrived, we have had a few different counselors speak with him, including a drug and alcohol counselor, but none of them really stuck. He either lost interest, or wanted to spend his time getting his work done so he could graduate. We know counseling is critical for Ray, so we’re still working on finding the right match for him.

Though Ray is back on track academically, he still has a lot of problems. His relationship with family and his drug addiction have presented huge obstacles for him. From his perspective, his parents have rejected him. Neither of them wants to take responsibility for his upbringing because of his past drug use. Ray says his mother told him he couldn’t live with her, and when he spends time with his father, he’s constantly told that he is “never going to amount to anything” and that he has “proven himself a failure.” Ray is trying desperately to leave his past as an addict behind him and live his life in the present as an independent young man. But Ray was never taught how to be independent.

We set up a meeting with a college and career coach, and I’m arranging a community volunteer to come in to talk to him about what his post-graduation plans are, but there are limitations to what we can do since we don’t have much time left together. For now, he plans to work in an IT mobile business with his brother.

In my experience, stories like Ray’s, don’t have a guaranteed feel-good ending like that movie, “The Blind Side.” I’d like to think that maybe the love he got here was enough, but I’m not sure if that’s true.

I hope the way our staff rallied together to help Ray earn his high school diploma was enough to light a spark to get him to take care of himself. I hope he works things out with his family so he has a place to live for a few years until he gets established on his own.

One good sign is that Ray is feeling more optimistic about his next steps.

It’s impossible to give Ray all the opportunities he didn’t have growing up, but we try really hard to help him move forward. Programs like MAPs have an important place in the school system. At-risk students deserve more than being farmed out to a tech lab monitored by babysitters. They need someone like Flowers, who will fight and make uncomfortable phone calls and say, “Hey, kid, you are worth something and we are going to take care of you.”

How an Alternative School Helped One Student Find His Way From Suspension to Graduation published first on https://medium.com/@GetNewDLBusiness

[pinksfuckers]

Here's What People Are Saying About SEO 2019

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Take time to review your SEO keyword strategy every single few months to make certain it's still relevant and attaining the outcomes you want. Stories are a easy method to do marketing, you simply need to include some custom made images or text in purchase to let people know they will could swipe to click plus see where you can obtain a skirt, grill, buy SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION, or anything else you're attempting to pitch to the people. Jana Granko, PR (public relations) head with SEMrush - one of the particular top marketing tools of the particular world - believe that within 2019 AI (artificial intelligence) might change the way people research for keywords. In fact, SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION is simply one part associated with every successful digital marketing technique, but possibly the most essential part. These are called SEO standing factors. SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION is the art and technology of driving the most skilled visitors to your website simply by attaining high search engine outcomes. From Digital SEO Land, Rintu Biswas a professional SEO expert within Kolkata will assist you for you to build quality backlinks to your site. This ‘what is SEO‘ guide (and this whole website) is not about churn and burn type of Search engines SEO (called webspam to Google) as that is too dangerous to deploy on a true business website in 2018. For blog websites the greatest SEO practice would be in order to set the title of your own post in a heading1 label. Search engines is the gatekeeper to substantial amounts of traffic and prospects - search engine optimization (SEO) opens the doors. Mainly because long as they are gained naturally, inbound links are possibly the most dependable authority contractors in the world of SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION. We all call this new methodology AdaptiveSEO so that as its title suggests, it is made in order to adapt to the evolving plus sometimes unexpected changes in lookup algorithms. Several get confused in this region of SEO article writing suggestions for either they in place too little or maybe the particular wrong kind of keywords, or even they mention the keyword method too much which is occasionally called keyword over stuffing. Social SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION isn't a separate branch associated with SEO and it won't quickly be replacing traditional SEO, yet social signals are becoming more and more incorporated into search engine methods. Perhaps the particular most important aspect of research engine optimization is how a person can actually leverage SEO in order to assist drive more relevant visitors, leads, and sales for your own business. Just browse through the various types of our SEO blog site to find those important on-page ranking factors. According to him, key phrases have already lost their significance and in 2019 this tendency would only get stronger. Seo (SEO) is definitely the most efficient way in order to drive traffic to your site. User-generated content racks up serious SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION points by providing sites along with fresh content, bundles of inbound links, and sources for organically framing natural attributes. You'll find it right here Also really worth checking away is Moz's Beginner's Explained SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION, ” which you'll find right here, and the SEO Success Pyramid from Small Business Search Marketing and advertising. Off-page SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION strategy refers to the impact of a change in additional websites in your search rank. Bruce Clay-based set the standard for honest internet marketing by authoring the particular " SEO Code of Integrity, " now translated into eighteen languages, and it has already been a respected leader within the particular ever-changing research engine marketing industry since mil novecentos e noventa e seis. Website SEARCH ENGINE MARKETING (including, content optimisation, meta optimization, the significance of links). A good SEO Specialist is someone which is an expert on the particular topic of search engine marketing. Just mainly because a proper On-page and Off-page SEO optimization work will provide a better Ranking to your own website in Search Engine Outcome Page (SERP). The largest SEO change and tendency I realize already happening within 2018 is Google's switch in order to a mobile-first index, so when a site is not however mobile-friendly and optimized for this, it's critical to prioritize this particular as it is now essential for its SEO success. With good on-page SEO, lookup engines can easily index your own web pages, understand what your own site is about, and effortlessly navigate the structure and articles of your website, thus rating your site accordingly.