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the-insomniac-emporium · 4 years ago

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RE8 Ladies + S/o with chronic pain HCs

Type/cause of chronic pain is kept ambiguous, but some of the hcs might seem geared towards migraines, since that's the main thing that I personally struggle with (and these are very definitely comfort hcs). Features Alcina, Bela, Cassandra, Daniela, Donna, Mother Miranda, and as a 'lil bonus Ava. Not particularly long, but the combined length of every character is enough to be put under a read-more (About 2,500 words in total).

Alcina:

It’s difficult for her to know that you are suffering, but be unable to deal directly with the source of the problem. Chasing off unwanted nuisances or hunting down threats to the castle was one thing, trying to solve complicated medical issues was another thing entirely. If only she could tear your condition asunder without tearing you asunder.

That being said, she’ll still support you endlessly, however she can. It doesn’t matter how expensive or hard-to-access possible treatments are. If there’s something you haven’t tried, and are interested in trying, she’ll find a way for you to get it.

The biggest, and arguably most helpful, thing that she does is set up a space for you within her office. She spends quite a lot of time there for her family’s business, but doesn’t want to leave you alone on bad days. So this was her idea of a nice compromise.

There’s a very comfortable sofa that folds out, a cabinet filled with the softest blankets, and several pillows of a few different sizes. Servants are instructed not to interrupt Alcina’s work without good reason, but she has a couple who ensure your snack cabinet is always well stocked.

If there are certain environmental factors to your condition, such as sensitivity to light and sound, she does her best to reduce their effects. Lights remain dimmed (or she’ll rely on candlelight), her music will be kept quiet enough to be soothing, and she’ll refrain from taking any calls while you are with her.

Bela:

To think that Daniela once tried to claim that Bela would “never need to know any of that (medical) stuff”! Sure, there haven’t been many people who have needed (and received) treatment from her, but that didn’t mean the skill was useless. Admittedly, she doesn’t know enough to replace one of your doctors, or try to create her own version of a cure, though no one really expected that much from her.

Still, she knows enough to help soothe your pain. Obviously there are different techniques for different kinds of pain, and she does research before trying anything specific. Bela’s also aware that you’ve been dealing with this for far longer than she has, meaning that you probably wouldn’t be pleased if she came in, acted like an expert, or assumed that you hadn’t really thought about the most popular remedies. So she’s tactful with how she approaches things, always checking if you’re familiar with a subject before she tries to explain anything.

Bela ends up surprising you with a lesser-known skill of hers: Massage. Studying anatomy has given her a decent idea of the body’s more sensitive spots, and the rest she’s figured out through her own, ahem, experiences. Regardless of where you’re in pain, your girlfriend can help reduce your suffering. Okay, well, if your pain is more internal than external, it’s a bit harder for her, but she can still help you relax.

One of her favorite things to do after giving you a massage is to just pull you in close for some cuddling. Preferably you’ll be in her lap, with her arms around your waist, her chin tucked on top of your shoulder. Then she’ll do her best to whisper you praises, reminding you how strong you are, and that she’s incredibly proud of you.

Cassandra:

She’s, uh, not great at this. At least not at first. Maybe she’ll never be more than good at it, though. But she’s definitely trying! And learning! By Jove, that’s something, right?

First things first, she’s always ready to try to distract you, primarily through kisses and gentle touches. Fingers softly trailing over your skin, lips tickling your neck, featherlight in all the right places… It’s not inherently sexual (though it can quickly go that route if you ask), just intimate. It’s harder for your brain to process pain when you’re also processing pleasure, so there is some science behind Cassandra’s methods, even if she herself isn’t entirely aware of that.

While she’s not great with words, there are certain things that she manages to articulate well enough. For one, she makes sure you know that you aren’t a burden. Taking care of you- no, helping you take care of yourself- is a labor of love, if a labor at all. More than that, she knows full well that you probably don’t like feeling pitied, or coddled. That, over time, being sick ends up being beyond frustrating. She never wants you to feel like your condition defines you, or like it puts any strain on your relationship.

That said, she’ll avoid telling her family any specifics unless you do first, and ensures that the staff know how to accommodate you (without telling them why, because it’s none of their fucking business, and she’s their boss, and for fuck’s sake it’s their job to do what she tells them. Maybe she gets a lil bit overzealous with it). At no point will she ever complain about helping you, or otherwise indicate that your needs are “troublesome”.

At the end of the day, the best comfort she brings you is her presence, simply being near you, endlessly loyal, tireless in her affections. Especially considering she gets clingier the worse your symptoms get.

Daniela:

Hope you enjoy cuddling. Seriously. There’s nothing Daniela loves more than curling up with you, and that goes double for bad pain days. Some adjustments will be made position-wise if you need, but she’ll still hold you as close as possible, for as long as you need. Although she might eventually fall asleep (because damn are you comfy), she’ll play with your hair or run her fingers along your scalp until she eventually dozes off.

If you want a little more from her than light snoring, or if she feels like going above and beyond, or honestly just if she’s thinking about how much she loves you (so all the effing time), she’ll do something she’s always loved in movies/books: Reading to you! She’ll pick special books that neither of you have read before, so you can experience them together on your sick(er) days. Which does, of course, mean that it might take months to finish even a single one. Surprisingly, Daniela won’t even briefly consider reading any without you. Even if the plot is really good.

But, uh, if you wanted her to read to you on a day where you aren’t bedridden? Hell yes, my friend, she’s absolutely down for that!

On days where she’s too busy to spend hours upon hours in bed with you, or days where her ADHD is just particularly bad, she tries her best to leave you with a “substitute”. AKA a massive fucking teddy bear, in a reddish brown color, with a green bowtie. Custom ordered (The Duke did not dare tease her for it). There’s a heart stitched onto the stuffed animal’s chest, which features your first initial alongside a D for Daniela.

Additionally, she has a blanket she only brings out for you, which she periodically sprays with her favorite perfume. That way you can hold it close when she’s not around, as if you were cuddling her. For her sake, though, don’t hold the teddy bear or blanket too tightly when she is around. Homegirl here will get jealous of inanimate objects, even ones that she gave you.

Donna:

“I think I have a tea for this…” Damn right she has a tea for this. Donna has a massive garden, with dozens if not hundreds of different plants, including a variety of herbs/spices. At least one of them has to be a little helpful for you. Whether it relieves pain, helps you nap off some of your misery, or just distracts you by tasting bloody-well delicious! Besides, few things make you feel quite as loved as holding a cup of freshly brewed tea in your hands, knowing your lover made it just for you. Like a hug in a mug, it is!

Similarly to Alcina, Donna will also try to create a comfortable space for you, but isn’t likely to put it downstairs with her workshop. Instead she’ll let you take over one of the larger guest rooms, customizing it to suit your specific needs. There will be some easy to care for plants for decoration (ones that won’t mind potentially missing out on natural sunlight), a couple relaxing paintings, and a shelf near the bed with things to help you pass the time, mainly books.

Furthermore, she’ll do her best to keep you company as often as possible. She’s naturally a fairly quiet person, so you won’t have to worry about sound if that’s something you’re sensitive to. While she prefers using a sewing machine, she’ll do things by hand while you’re in pain, just to reduce the chances of you getting irritated by the sound.

Speaking of potentially irritating sounds… by god can Angie be difficult to be around when you’re ill. Thankfully, Donna is perfectly understanding of this, and, as the only person Angie ever listens to, makes sure to give the doll a stern talking to about your health. To your immense surprise, it actually works. You’re not exactly sure what was said, but Angie certainly becomes a lot more compensating afterwards. She’ll keep her antics to herself, and usually even on another side of the house from where you rest, but only for as long as you’re tucked away in your room. As soon as you set foot outside, her restraints are metaphorically removed. All hell breaks loose (as is her universe-given right as the physical embodiment of both Chaos and Entropy).

Mother Miranda:

If the two of you weren’t lovers, there’s a decent chance you would completely misinterpret her actions. She might come off as irritated, like she has bigger concerns than your health, you fragile little human. After all, she is a goddess (well, practically). But the truth is that she’s aching inside every time you have a bad pain day, knowing that (for once) she cannot cure your ailment. Maybe if she had infinite subjects with the same condition as you…

But, at the end of the day, that’s the problem. There’s only one of you. One of her beloved, her little human darling, so dangerously fragile in comparison to the scale she works on. Even with all the time in the world, which she most certainly has, she cannot cure you without taking incredible risks. With your life at stake… It is a gamble she refuses to take. You are hers, and while she hates to see you suffer, the truth is that she’ll always be selfish enough to let you endure on your own.

That doesn’t mean she doesn’t help, though, just that she doesn't do a full-out experiment on you. Instead, she keeps notes. She’ll track your activities, bedtimes/when you get up, dietary habits, when you have pain, what you do to treat said pain, how effective the treatments are, etc, etc. All of this can be very useful in establishing patterns (a skill she’s gotten very good at, in her many decades of being a scientist), which can in turn lead to less pain days.

(For example, many people with migraines find that certain foods seem to trigger a migraine, or at least increase the chances of getting one. Though admittedly they don’t always end up cutting the food out of their diet. I mean, come on, you want me to give up chocolate? You want me to drink normal milk, like an adult? Kidding, kidding, I don’t have any food triggers. Nor do I particularly enjoy chocolate milk, nor do I dislike it.)

Moving on! While her work seemingly takes precedence over your condition, Miranda is not heartless, and she does do some things to lend you more direct comfort. Specifically, she tries to work in the same room as you when she can, normally while making electronic copies of physical documents, or while looking over the details of a finished experiment. She’s not always one for cuddling, so she won’t often get in bed with you during the daytime. But at night? Yes, fine, she will wrap her arms around you, maybe one of her wings too if you like how soft they are.

Just don’t think that she secretly loves every second. It’s not like she’ll spend half an hour whispering about how sweet and adorable you are as soon as you fall asleep, or anything like that. It’s twenty minutes at the most.

Bonus!Avaskian Caldwell:

“Oh, fuckin’ mood!” Followed by a solid thirty seconds of pure regret. Seriously, though, Ava has spent xer entire life (starting at age 10) dealing with chronic migraines. For a while xe also dealt with POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome), which meant lots of chest pain, but that (thankfully) faded as xe grew into an adult, as is fairly common with the condition. If anyone in Castle Dimitrescu understands unrelenting, unexplainable pain, it’s xer.

That being said… Ava never really managed xer chronic pain, at least not when xe was at xer worst. Xe had to drop out of school because of it. Hell, xe didn’t have a “real” job until xe was almost 23! Didn’t have a chance until things just calmed down for xer. So xe gets anxious whenever you talk about your health, worried that things are (or will at some point be) as bad for you as they were for xer. Other than that, though, you might initially think that xe doesn’t care, or didn’t understand the conversation.

Truth is, xe knows how absolutely fucking ANNOYING it can be to have to explain your health to every new person you meet (like the dozen different doctors you’ve met over the years, possibly every nurse who takes your pulse and thinks it’s a little bit high). So xe did a shit ton of research on your condition, in order to reduce how much you need to explain. Sure, xe will still have questions, and there are always aspects that only you can tell xer, but it’s a nice gesture.

As for helping you destress, xe’s pretty much a mix of Bela and Miranda. You’ll get plenty of massages (because Ava has learned from personal experience what sort of touches help with which sorts of pain), but also some scientific insight on any noticeable patterns. Lots of holding you close and telling you that you’re the coolest person in the world, and that Ava feels beyond lucky to have you.

#alcina dimitrescu x reader #bela dimitrescu x reader #cassandra dimitrescu x reader #daniela dimitrescu x reader #donna beneviento x reader #mother miranda x reader #oc x reader #avaskian caldwell #j has ocs #re8 village #resident evil: village #hcs

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nsfsprince · 4 years ago

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An a/b/o idea thats taken over the brain that I wish to write:

Intruxietlogical A/B/O au that's set in a manor or smth?

Theres Alpha!Logan(cismale), head of the manor and a very rich yet young and respectable individual of the city. Hes like 6'4 and handsome as hell, and secretly knows it(due to Remus's persistent courting) but sees no point in personally flaunting it, letting Remus take the lead in that.

Then theres his eccentric Omega spouse, Remus(nonbinary leaning with he/him pronouns), the (in)famous artist of the city. Hes unusually tall for an Omega at 5'10, crude and unworried about fitting the 'normal' societal omega expectation despite also being born to a rich family. He courted Logan, persistantly, as he loved the fact that Logan treated him with the same respect as he would anyone else and never judged Remus for who he was, and the more Logan accepted the courting the more they fell in love before marrying and bonding at like. 23-25?

Well, Virgil is a 5'1 omega(transman with he/him pronouns), age 24. Hes a feisty little thing thats been surviving the streets for too long, he's parentless and, his high anxiety keeps him safer than most omegas on their own but no ones perfect- he ends up almost getting abducted by a sketchy Alpha when a Beta named Patton storms in and saves him.

That's how Patton, Logan's brother, takes him in to treat the sprained wrist he got from the encounter, and for Remus to set eyes on Virgil and immediately decide he wants to keep and court him, too.

I could ramble alot about the months it takes for remus to flirt and fluster and break Virgil out of his shy terrified shell(because hes gone from interacting with fellow street raccoons to very weathy and very Pretty nobility and its. A Lot.

I could ramble about the way both Remus and Logan coax Virgil into staying in their home for more and more ludicrously simple reasons, just to keep courting him, and how Virgil catches on, and flusteredly does nothing to stop it bc he's slowly falling in love too

But what I Really wanna ramble about, is their bedroom dynamics.

Content warning for under the cut: a/b/o dynamics, talk/descriptions of knotting, polyamourus relationships, kinks. Lots of kinks: oralfixation, dom/sub/switch dynamics, praise kink, overstim(lots of overstim), talk of double penatration, p in v sex, ect. Let me know if i missed anything!

MINORS DNI or you will be fully blocked from this blog and my main one.

Logan is a soft but firm dom, always in control and ready to take control. He has a bit of an oral fixation and loves sucking off his loves as often as he can, happy to sate his loves while getting them to soak themselves in fresh slick. He's easily comanding when needed but also enjoys that Remus is more than willing to take control on occasion(see: regularly). He just really really likes taking care of his loves however he can, and aftercare is super important especially after some of their more intense scenes

Remus is a bossy switch, who Loves riding Logan's cock till hes stuck on his knot, or getting fucked up against a wall till his mind turns to jelly. Really likes a bit of primal play, loves riling Logan up with praising how good Logan could breed him(even tho theyre all on birth control so it really is just for the scenes) if he just pins him down and takes. On the flip side, Re also loves pinning Virgil down and driving him crazy, too.

Virgil is a near complete submissive, he's eagar to give and take as ordered and melts at any praise given. Starting out he'd been touch straved beyond belief(which has since been remedied thoroughly) and thus ended up developing a habit of dropping into subspace the moment Logan and/or Remus cradle his neck with both hands. Hes a very affectionate sub who puts so much of his trust and control into Logan and Remus's hands, and both cherish it as Virgil literally never lets his guard down around anyone else.

So, my favorite thing about their dynamic is that Remus still has a decent sized cock despite being an omega, like is actually rather big for Virgil to take, the draw back is just that Remus cant, at least naturally, Knot Virgil like Logan can. (However, its like one of Remus's biggest fantasies to Knot Virgil, and Virgil is totally in the same boat and would be Very on board with it)

This lack of natural knot doesnt stop Remus of course, infact its encouraging because he has a nearly non-existant refractory period so, literally imagine:

Virgil on his back, Virgil's head and shoulders are cradled lovingly in Logan's lap as the alpha occassionally trades kisses with both of his gorgeous omegas. Virgil's legs spread and cunt gently held nice and open by Logan's gentle but firm hands as Remus repeatedly sinks his cock nice and deep into Virgil. Slick soaks Virge and Remus's thighs, his cunt, and Remus's cock.

Every thrust has Virgil whimpering and his legs twitching with the relentless feeling of the head of Remus's cock just barley rutting against his cervix on every other pass. Just the hot way Remus has Virgil pinned into a mating press and obviously working hard to make that position live up to its name, babbling at how good Virgil feels taking his cock like a good little omega, at how easy it is to breed Virgil over and over and over again.

Then Logan enacts this little idea hes been holding onto the moment Remus starts to get close(hes trained Remus well, having helped him train to stall his orgasms for longer and longer because Remus LOVES overstimmulation). He has Remus slow down for just a moment, causing both omegas to whine, before coating two fingers in plenty of slick and slowly pressing them in alongside Remus's cock.

Virgil is slowly losing his mind(as they find out in later sessions that he absolutely has a size kink, and would happily take both their cocks at once any time hes given the chance) at the width, his eyes rolling. Then Remus is told to start thrusting again until he comes, and to ignore Logan's two fingers outside of being careful.

Virgil and Remus are so keyed up that it only takes another minute or so for Remus to start cumming, following Logan's order of pressing all the way inside as deep as he can get, at which point is Logan's cue to start curling his fingers firmly deep inside of Virgils walls.

Immediately, Virgil starts whimpering loudly as he cums, his body reacting the way it would if he were being knotted by an alpha, cunt clenching tight and sucking Remus's cock deeper as his eyes squeeze closed and his jaw fall lax, overwhelmed as his body draws out his orgasm for as long as hes knotted.

Remus is put in a mind-melting world of pleasurable overstimmulation as hes just climaxed and Virgils cunt is milking it for all hes got and he cant even move or pull out now because hes 'locked' inside. His hips and legs are trembling and he's moaning loudly because it's so hot that hes basically getting to Knot Virgil and it feels so good.

Virgil's cunt won't let him go and wont stop pulsing around the head his oversensitive cock and he really cant be faulted for the way he loses control and just keeps orgasming, his lack of refractory period as a keyed up omega just letting him squirt more and more cum and slick deep into the omega under him.

Logan's gentle and soothing, cooing reassurances to his two loves as he helps them lose their minds & fulfil their fantasies. He even uses his free hand to stroke Virgils little cock slowly, drawing out shaking whines from both of them as it makes Virgil clench harder in intervals. Remus ends up hunched over Virgil, his face tucked into his fellow omega's neck to muffle his overstimulated whimpers.

Logan draws it out for a minute or two, just until pleasured and overwhelmed tears picks at their eyes and their soft begging whimpers and mewls fill the room before slowly releasing the hold, letting the string of tension snap and watching them unravel and relax, finishing their peaks.

Remus cant help the way he struggles to pull out, so oversensitive that his hips keep hitching back in place with the way Virgils body tries to keep him there, needing Logan to pull their hips apart to fully end the scene.

Logan strokes and comforts both exhausted omegas, now fully in his element, cooing soft reassurances to both, getting up to start a bath and carefully guiding them both in and cleaning them up. The sheets are changed and both are put in soft clothing and given juice and cuddles.

Remus would probably make a comment on asking drowsily just how Logan deals with being knotted to him for in upwards of 30 minutes if it feels like /That/ the whole time. Logan would probably just smile sweetly and press a sweet kiss to his lips and say "with experience of course, perhaps we can work on that too, if the both of you would be so inclined?"

Virgil shutters and whines, too tired to get worked up again, Remus in a similar boat but nodding drowsily anyway. Remus probably wakes up sore and gets worked up all over again at the memory of why his cock of all things is sore and sensetive.

Perhaps they do work on it, perhaps Remus is trained to a take it little longer each time, no where near half an hour for the longest time, but he gets pretty close and much better at holding from losing his mind.

Maybe then they explore what it feels like for Remus to be stuck on Logan's knot, while Virgil is stuck on Remus's 'knot' with the help of a toy. Maybe then they also explore working Virgil up to take both of their cocks, and see what happens what Logan's fingers curl just right to trigger that knotted feeling to have Virgil lose his goddamn mind impaled on both their cocks as they slowly thrust in and out despite his body thinking he's already been knotted and reacting as such.

Maybe they even explore working Virgil's other hole open, just enough to take Logan's knot, and give Remus free reign to fuck Virgil's soaking trembling cunt until they can coax Virgil's cunt into taking Remus's 'knot' as well

Idk man. Just. This whole dynamic has so many hot possibilities. 💕💕💕

#not safe for sanders #nsfs virgil #nsfs logan #nsfs remus #nsfs analomus #lodukexiety #whats their ship name??#prince writes #abo au #ask to tag #edit to add the content warning bc i hadnt had time earlier to remember it let alone put it in

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sepublic · 5 years ago

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Eda and Loss

Even if Young Blood, Old Souls helped remedy the pain from Agony of a Witch… It also really added to it too, in a lot of other ways! Specifically, how Eda still insists on being selfless, but is also just sort of resigned to her fate… Because so many terrible things happen to her that to Eda, she figures it must just be her inevitable fate, the way things are. That bad stuff happens to her and that’s just how it is, and all Eda can do is ensure that others like Luz or King don’t have to suffer like her…

Like, Eda barely survives petrification, and realizes she’s lost all of her magic- And her only reaction is a tired, used-to-this, acknowledgement of what happened before immediately moving on! It really saddens me how Eda is just used to this, to suffering and loss… She can’t even take the time to wallow in self-pity and misery, because she’s always got something else to deal with, or this is a step up from what she was resigned to; Even if it’s still a step down from what she once had! And obviously it’s so Eda doesn’t fall into despair, obviously she developed this coping tactic after years of bitter loneliness and ostracization after being cursed, no doubt an intense period of depression- But still.

Eda deserves to feel bad for herself, and to have people comfort her and agree on this- And now she does, she has Luz and King and even Lilith! Eda has the right to scream and vent about the injustice that she regularly goes through, I just want to see a one-shot or even a canon scene where she finally just loses it and breaks down, as it all catches up to her the realization of the unfairness of it all… I want Eda to cathartically soak in those feelings of bitterness and anger and despair, as she just lets it out and admits that she is NOT okay, that this is terrible and she doesn’t deserve this, she deserves better and yet others way worse than Eda get good things in life… And she HATES it!

Eda’s played the bigger person for so long, but you know what? She’s tired of that, what has being mature reallygotten her in the end, things just keep getting worse for her as Eda keeps losing things so what’s even the point, may as well only care about herself, HUH!? Just like Lilith…! And then Luz and King… They comfort and reassure Eda quietly, supporting her righteous anger and self-advocacy. And they tell Eda that she DID get something for all of her efforts, she got the two of them. She got the defense of all those people back in the Conformatorium, and obviously it’s not right that Eda has to actively work for that kind of dignity from others when that’s something she’s naturally due and owed as a person who never did anything wrong… But at least she has it, and Eda DID succeed in getting it. She got that for herself, Eda DOES accomplish things and she doesn’t have to worry about losing them- Luz and King aren’t going anywhere, anytime soon… They’ll always come back for her!

Maybe that played a big role in Eda’s rage when Lilith kidnapped Luz- Eda had been resigned to loss, but then she gained Luz… And when Luz was threatened, Eda decided this was the ONE thing she could not take standing, the one loss she couldn’t bear nor allow- This was the one person she’d hold onto no matter what, she doesn’t care what others say, she doesn’t care if this is the divine order of the Titan or anyone else; Especially since Luz is a PERSON, not a thing! Eda already lost Lilith, she is… She is NOT losing Luz, not if she can help it!

She’s sick of losing people and Eda has gotten enough self-love from Luz to recognize that she at least deserves to have this kid in her life… And then of course the truth of Lilith cursing her shatters Eda’s self-confidence, because her sister already took this happiness and magic from her, Lilith took herself from Eda, and now she’s taking Luz too?! And Eda becomes resigned to her fate, and is just glad that at least Luz is safe… When really Luz insists to Eda that she should ask for Luz’s safety AND presence alongside Eda.

And Lilith, I think the tension between her and Eda would really spike in such a cathartic moment of release, when Eda is allowed to vent about her frustrations in life. But Lilith would AGREE with Eda’s sentiments that she deserves better, and cite how she spent most of her life trying to cure the curse because she thought Eda shouldn’t have to deal with it, shouldn’t have to suffer and hurt. Lilith messed up in many ways, but she DID do a lot of terrible things because she thought they’d be the best course of action for Eda… Lilith, as misguided as she was, was motivated by the belief that Eda was better than her, deserved better than her, or at least deserved better than this- Because Eda is the world to her.

Lilith, who hurt her more than anyone else, agrees that Eda doesn’t deserve this, and… it must be so validating, that this enigmatic curser, their unknown reasons, which must’ve haunted Eda as she wondered why she did this, if there was a justification for her suffering the way Luz or Amity wondered the same… It WASN’T valid, Eda’s reaction and hatred for the curse was 100% right and basically the world is agreeing with her considering that entire crowd and her own curser agree! And it’s scary to consider the idea that there isn’t some divine reason for your pain, that it was all meaningless and unnecessary… But once you get the worst out of the way –and Eda is USED to that- it can really open the avenue for some self-love, and accepting good things for yourself and working for them, too! Demanding those good things, being rightfully entitled to them, and reclaiming your dignity!

So Eda has to admit, get it off her chest this one positive thing, because she’s already unloading these negative feelings… She has to confess to Lilith that her sister’s return to her side means everything to her, that it’s one thing she lost and DID get back, and then the sisters just cry and sob into each other’s shoulders because they’ve messed up, they’ve lost so much and only had each other, and they almost lost that too… But now that bond is back, and if the sisters got their friendship back, maybe they can get MORE back from this world that they’ve lost… And if not, then what they’ve taken back and even received is just fine as it is, because having each other is all they ever needed as kids; Lilith never needed the Emperor’s Coven and she realizes this. And not only that, but they have Luz and King with them, too!

Maybe this sensation of loss plays a role into why Eda collects human trash; She’s materialistically hoarding stuff, not just as a reflection of her Owl nature… But maybe it’s also a way to cope with the losses of the intangible things in life that TRULY mattered to Eda, by making up for it with random trinkets and treasures from another world- Giving herself a kind of compensation to make up for the one she was owed but never given by others. Of course, Eda would never substitute her treasures and trinkets for actual interaction with people, and she maintains her connections with King and Luz well… But it also helps to have that AND her stuff, you know?

So it’s only all the more tragic that Eda ends up losing her human-trash business, because she loses the portal as well; But at least she got back her sister Lilith, and that’s a sacrifice she’s glad to make. Besides, it’s no different than being resigned to being dead, and NOT having anything in life because there is no life to begin with! However, Luz had to lose her way back home, and thus her mother Camila… and I think that’s something that could bother Eda later down the line, as she feels like she failed her kid and couldn’t protect Luz from the loss Eda’s always accustomed to. Eda got back Lilith, but would she have jeopardized Luz and Camila’s connection to do so?

But I think Luz can reassure Eda that not only is she putting too much blame onto herself for something Belos was responsible for –and that’s a recurring theme of abusers making victims feel wholly responsible for things beyond their control- but Luz doesn’t HAVE to lose Camila… It’s not hopeless. Eda thought she lost Lilith, and now she has her back… And it hasn’t even been an entire year yet, Camila and Luz don’t have nearly as huge of an emotional rift between them because of another’s mistakes… Their separation is physical, but it’s not hopeless. If Eda can get back Lilith, and gain Luz and King, Owlbert and Hooty… Then Luz could get back Camila, too- And maybe Eda could get to meet Luz’s mom, too!

Just… Eda deserves to be petty and immature and self-serving after everything life has thrown at her and she knows it… But she doesn’t take this one thing she’s at least due, because Eda’s so focused on giving to others. Eda doesn’t make her resentment Luz’s problem, she doesn’t let her grudge against the system prevent Luz from enrolling in Hexside… And Eda knows that the girl needs guidance and maturity, and so for Luz’s sake, Eda will steel herself and be the mentor she needs! Eda doesn’t want anyone to suffer and lose like she did, she’ll focus on giving things, even at the cost of herself, to others who arguably have it better than her, because they could get even more than what they have, and deserve to! She’s so selfless and strong, and Eda has invested so much into others even at her own sacrifice… So for once she deserves to go feral as a treat, to unapologetically beat up someone who makes a cruel remark about her curse.

Eda has been so resigned, so used to loss that she just focuses more on minimizing her losses than actually keeping what she has, or even getting things back and earning new things along the way… And it’s until Luz comes along that Eda begins to change her stance, that Eda tries to hold onto Luz, even if this doesn’t last and that night ends with Eda sacrificing herself. Eda thinks loss is such an inherent inevitability of her, such a written-in-stone fate, that she basically tries to claim this on her own terms, by deliberately sacrificing things she knows she’ll lose anyway, by giving them to those who actually deserve it- Instead of letting those lost things fade away into oblivion meaninglessly.

Eda is resigned to losing magic, so she figures she may as well lose it by protecting Luz, VS having it just dwindle away meaninglessly. She’s resigned to being petrified, so Eda figures she may as well throw herself into the beam to protect King and Lilith in the process. Eda is resigned to losing Luz moments before her execution, so she gives Luz the portal so Luz can at least go home. It’s like Eda knows it’s better to accept this than to fight it, so then she can take control and initiative of what she CAN change… If Eda accepts loss then maybe she can have a say in how it happens, and how it can also give to others as well. If she thinks that she loses everything and is given only pain in return, then Eda uses that pain to motivate herself to protect others from it.

Maybe that played into why Eda chose to give Luz the Witch’s Wool cloak, initially meant to protect her! Perhaps Eda was resigned to eventually becoming an Owl Beast, to dying or being captured, and having that cloak taken from her… So why not give it to someone else who needs it more than her, a kid who has an actual chance at avoiding misfortune? Give it to Luz, who can make the most of this cloak and her own potential, and has been doing so; Unlike Eda, who had so much magical potential, but never got to properly explore it thanks to the Coven System and the curse.

The worst part is that Eda WAS right- By reserving the cloak for Luz, it wasn’t confiscated with her when she was captured… And with the cloak’s protective abilities, Luz was able to succeed in rescuing Eda! So Eda’s kindness and investment in others does come around, and pay off… And the best part is that she never expects it to, she’s just being unconditionally kind! It’s always a pleasant surprise… Albeit because Eda’s expectations are always lowered, if not outright non-existent thanks to her horrific trauma.

It plays into her cynicism, anticipating/assuming the worst and preparing for it… Such as thinking Luz will ditch her after finding Hexside as an alternate teacher, or after learning about the curse; So Eda tries to avoid getting too attached to this kid. Or when she’s afraid that Hexside will only traumatize Luz, so initially she tries to discourage her… While also giving Luz an out with that Quitter Badge on her first day, no judgment! Eda expects the worst for herself and so tries to protect others from it by offering a support network, a safety net to recover from mistakes and learn from them… So it really means so much more to her when good things happen.

And Luz is such an excellent foil to this mindset… She’s positive, she’s still young and fresh, she righteously demands good things for herself and others and gets them, and Eda does everything to support this! Eda WANTS Luz to know that she deserves to get better things in life, she neither has to accept losses, nor minimize them… Nor just hold onto what she already has, Luz can make things better for herself! And Eda WANTS her to!

Even when Luz lost the portal and her mother, she managed to hold onto Eda and her friends when she could’ve lost them as well- She got back Eda’s regular form, and got the help and companionship of Lilith as well. Luz even got people to protest against the Emperor’s Coven, on Eda’s behalf! Eda and Luz both make the most of a situation, sometimes even expand upon that- Luz is just a lot more hopeful and optimistic in that regard, and she’s got good support from Eda.

It’s ironic that Luz’s name sounds phonetically similar to ‘Lose’, yet she’s gained so much for herself and others… And like Luz herself said; If she has to lose, she can make Belos lose a couple of things himself! Make the losses mutual, to deter them from anyone else who’d want to keep causing them, because they may not be as willing nor mature about handling sacrifice for such a selfish goal. Eda doesn’t have to lose anything, to give, and Luz wants to make her know this; That giving to others can, as corny as it sounds, be fulfilling in its own way, it can lead to one gaining a different kind of thing in life!

Eda gave something as unconditional, as endless as her love and appreciation towards Luz, and Luz returned that tenfold… It’s sweet that Eda is resigned to loss and turning it into sacrifice for others, but Luz is here to remind Eda that she doesn’t have to just accept losing things anymore, just as Eda encourages Luz not to accept the status quo. If Luz can do it for herself and others, among them Eda… Eda can do the same for herself, after doing that for Luz and so forth!

Like I said before- Luz is someone who asks why can’t she and others have it all, instead of just settling for the best option, and/or one of them… And she really learned that from Eda, who was normally resigned to loss, because she doubted her ability to get better things in life for herself, and thought she could only pass this opportunity on to others. Eda has always believed in the question of why can’t people have it all, she just began to see herself as the one exception… But no, why can’t EDA get in on this, too!? That’s something Luz can ask Eda to consider, and override any answer/justification she’s given, because Eda shouldn’t take no for an answer.

She’s always questioning of authority, and been forging her own path, making her own things from seemingly nothing, finding value even in human garbage and creating her own meaning from them beyond whatever they were intended for… Just as Eda encourages others to make their own paths and identities beyond whatever anyone else, be it a Coven System or a Titan’s alleged will, ordains! You’re more than what others make/intend for you to be… Kind of like how the Blight kids could’ve been brought into this world by Odalia and Alador to continue the Blight legacy of ‘greatness and strength’, but the kids can choose to redefine themselves and make their own purpose in life, or how Luz shouldn’t settle for any ‘destiny’ and just make the one she wants for herself.

Eda deliberately looks for and finds meaning in things, and if it’s not there she’ll make it herself; Like Luz’s own skills as a witch apprentice! Eda finds the inherent beauty in nature, and it’s an appreciation passed onto Luz, a philosophy to really pay attention and look, that leads to the discovery and reclaiming of lost glyphs! Eda finds something in rejection, in stuff and people considered outcast and detrimental, and it leads to her belief that fellow weirdoes really need to stick together, because they can find solidarity and happiness there, or create it anyway. People like Eda lost the approval of society, lost family members who rejected them… But from that rejection, they can learn and make a home for others to gain in return, as at least some compensation for their losses- A found family that could even more than make up for the blood family that had been lost! And if you can get back those lost familial bonds; The more, the merrier!

Eda’s such a productive and efficient, headstrong person in regards to handling tragedy… But at the same time, just for once, PLEASE let her be unapologetically selfish! That’s something Eda was always due and owed, and yet she had to earn it… And Eda’s more than earned it multiple times over. I’m sure Luz and the others would be glad to provide, but just once I’d love to see some universal acknowledgement of how much Eda is owed, and actually give her something for once, without Eda having to fight and work tooth and nail for it. Eda doesn’t want others to suffer and fight for good things like she had to, it influences her kindness to Luz… Let her kindness come around to her! Eda is a GODDESS and deserves to be worshipped as such, she shouldn’t take “No” for an answer- Eda should take what she wants and is owed anyway!

#the owl house #toh #the owl house eda #edalyn clawthorne #toh eda #eda the owl lady #the owl house lilith #lilith clawthorne #the owl house luz #luz noceda #meta #speculation

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jenonctcity · 6 years ago

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Charia Kingdom - Masterlist

An NCT Dream Fantasy Series.

Charia Kingdom - A place that has equal amounts of sunshine and rain, hot and cold, rich and poor, and, humans and creatures that couldn’t be identified as that of human status. Ruled by the Lee family with a king whose cutthroat and unforgiving nature is feared by many. The poor not cared for by people who have everything, where disease takes the lives of those unfortunate enough to not have the funds to purchase medicine. A place where humans live among creatures many would find terrifying. It’s no secret that Vampires, Werewolves, Wizards, etc live amongst them like normal people. Unless you murder someone, you’re considered normal. Everyone lives their own lives, whether it be a happy life, or a sorrowful life...

Mark Lee - Born into a family of renowned witches and wizards, there came a time for Mark to fly the nest. The nest being their comfortable home in the middle of the bustling kingdom. After the death of the castle’s witch, 17 year old Mark was brought in to take her place. He lives up to his family’s name and has impressed the royal family with his natural talents. Now 20 years old with the trust of the royal family and kingdom, shy, quiet Mark is given a new obstacle when a new maid is brought to work alongside him in the castle. Granted she’s mostly there to clean up his mess, but he finds she plays a much bigger role in his life than just that. With the new light in his life, Mark faces a new task at hand. Keeping her safe from the horrors of the castle.

Perils Brewing - [S], [A], [F]

Huang Renjun - Being chased from the royal family’s castle at the age of 16 was never something Renjun hoped for when he was growing up. Having lived in the castle since his birth, his mother, the castles witch, raised him alone. After finding out a huge secret and confronting the king, the king has Renjun’s mother killed, leading Renjun to use the dark powers he never knew he had to curse the Prince of the kingdom. After a bounty is put on his head for his crimes, he lives his life on the run, burrowing away in a cabin far out in the depths of the dangerous forest. A place where many lethal creatures live. Now 19, Renjun has lived in solitude for 3 years, and never expected a girl to break into his home in the dead of night. The girl he encounters is on the run herself, but refuses to tell him why. The stubborn, mentally strong, and brave girl persaudes him to let her stay with him. Can he live alongside another being when he’s still got dark magic flowing through his veins and a huge secret heavy in his heart?

Running From The Dark - [S], [A], [F]

Lee Jeno - Being the crown prince of Charia Kingdom was never something that worried Jeno. He was raised by his mother to smile when talked to, and to have a kind heart so that he would rule the kingdom differently to how his father had. At 16, he’s unexpectedly hit by a powerful curse after hearing a ruckus going on in the echoing halls of the castle. It flips his life around, his new status as a werewolf being a challenge he hates with all his heart. It turned the kingdoms sweetheart into an angry, brooding boy. Now 19, Jeno has learned how to control when he phases with the help of the remedies Mark brews for him. The only thing he can’t control is bursting into a gigantic wolf every time a negative emotion takes over his mind. No one apart from the workers of the castle know that he’s a wolf, it being kept a secret from the public. He runs in the forest in his wolf form calm him down, until he comes face to face with a rogue wolf who threatens his life with her piercing glare. After imprinting on each other, Jeno has to learn how to balance his new love, his duties as prince, his burning rage, and a secret that is revealed to him that changes his life once again.

Stepping Into The Moonlight - [S], [A], [F]

Lee Donghyuck - Donghyuck the cheeky, charismatic boy who wasn't born a demon. As a human Donghyuck was known for his greed and crimes. So when he died at the age of 19, Satan offered him an eternal life in exchange for completing tasks. At the age of 79 he was banished from hell for failing to take the life of someone he decided upon himself didn't deserve to die. For his sin, as punishment he was sent to live on earth forever. Being immortal and watching people you make connections with die from illness, old age, or suicide was a far bigger punishment than dying. Currently 128 years old, he’s seen many of his peers around him die in many ways, and every time it happens it chips away at his sanity and positive attitude. He swore never to fall in love, but upon meeting the princess of Charia, he can’t keep away from her. After falling in love with her, it’s becoming more likely that she will be ripped away from him sooner rather than later. With his emotions flipping completely, can he manage to stop himself from sinning to save the woman he loves?

Coming Soon...

Na Jaemin - At the age of 19, Jaemin was brutally beaten by a knight of the royal family and left for dead. He was found by a creature of the night and turned into a blood craving vampire. Many years later, he’s now 210 years old and lives life one day at a time. He’s rather peaceful for a murderous creature, only being considered dangerous when he’s starved of the only thing he needs; blood. Before his death, he was an orphan, abandoned with only a pile of letters telling him of his true heritage. Something that’s always planted in the back of his mind. After hunting one night, he hears screams coming from the kingdoms small hospital. There he finds a nurse being attacked by a patient. After defusing the attack, he has no other choice but to help the wounded nurse, not being able to leave her there half dead as he was once before. The addicting scent of her makes him keep her around despite the danger that he poses to her by having her in his home. He finds himself doing something he never would have dreamed of doing to keep her around. After finding out about his true heritage, she changes, for the good or bad? Will this be a love story, or a tragedy?

Coming Soon...

Zhong Chenle - Born as an angel in heaven, Chenle had always been obsessed over how humans lived on earth. But forbidden to step foot on earth he had to always watch from above. Turning 18 he decided to take a risk. A risk that lead him to be ripped from his family, forced to live his life on earth like a mortal human. He has his halo taken from him, but is plagued by the wings that have a heavier feeling on his back than what they used to in heaven. Living the life he always wanted, he’s a happy soul, rarely being sad even if he can’t leave the house as much as he would like. His wings are hard to conceal, and with fallen angel’s being a more than rare thing, he’s scared he will be killed for his wings. You’d think if he was killed he would go to back heaven right? Wrong. After being thrown to earth, he had no means of survival other than stealing to stay alive. One night he meets the hyperactive, bubbly girl who works in the local bookstore. A friendship immediately occurs between the two. He soon finds himself falling for the girl and has hopes of living the normal life he always wanted. As he gets used to living as a human does, will life pan out the way sweet Chenle wants?

Coming Soon...

Park Jisung - In human form, Jisung looks like the worlds softest boy. His shy, slightly awkward persona often tricks people into thinking that he couldn’t even fight off a new-born baby. So why has the royal family put this lanky, slender 17 year old boy in front of the castles main gate as its protector when the rumours are that a terrifying dragon is the guarder of the castle. Well, something not many people know about the boy is that he’s a dragon hybrid. And can turn into an overwhelmingly huge dragon that has even the bravest of knights quivering in their chain mail. So far no one has ever gotten past the boy, and he intends on keeping it that way. So when a girl who looks around the same age as him slips past him and is found stealing from the castle, he’s not too impressed. She’s locked away in the dungeon, and the curious boy has to meet the only person to ever get past him. She’s sentenced to death but after pleading with his friend Prince Jeno, her crimes are pardoned, but only if Jisung keeps her with him as his assistant. He encourages her to change her thieving ways, but will he ever be able to change the hard-headed girl he argues with daily? What if you add strange feelings of love into the mix and a promise that one of them doesn't intend on keeping?

Coming Soon...

(A/N: Hi! I’m so excited to for this series I hope you enjoyed the teasers! whose are you most looking forward to? I worked really, really hard on these so please let me know your thoughts and give it loads of love! Also as all of this series hasn't been written yet, things may change in the plots and summaries but it shouldn't be anything too drastic. Also this series will contain smut, angst and fluff. Obviously no smut for Chenle and Jisung, and each story will get warnings and categories marked on them when they’re published.)

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elmidol · 4 years ago

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Error: Program Not Found-Twenty

Summary: You are in charge of programming the droids that work most closely with both General Hux and Kylo Ren. Unbeknownst to you, each of these two men have it in their heads that your relationship extends beyond the workplace. This causes things to escalate quickly when your two apparently secret boyfriends compare notes on their respective partner who is far too similar for their liking.

Read on AO3

Side Notes: Contains all three routes, divided by breaks

Error: Program Not Found

“Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.” - Helen Keller

Twenty: Workday

[Kylo Route]

Construction on the droids had hit a snag, albeit one that set things back a single cycle. It had been deemed fit to alter the bodies of the anti-procrastination droids so that they were smaller. The more compact versions would be plenty capable of ensuring personnel resumed work with minimal distractions along with reducing the costs of construction. The one downside was a shortage in one of the components, which thankfully was simple enough to obtain. Aelin devoted his time to building the other portions of the beta unit while in the presence of your team.

This placed you, Eddard, Aelin, two mechanics, and one other programmer in a single room together with TeeArr. The droid communicated with the other two droids in the room; one was a test unit for the assassination droid program and the other for the physical therapy droids. The assassination droid possessed no weaponry. What was being tested at current was the ability to blend in. You hoped that it would mimic the physical therapy droid, however if this did not occur you had several lies on hand for the members of your team without proper clearance.

Eddard stood next to one of the mechanics near the physical therapy droid. On the other side of the room, the other mechanic worked alongside Aelin. You, meanwhile, remained by the assassination droid and TeeArr with the other programmer.

“I am a little surprised the officers didn’t order you to have the droids use cattle prods to get people moving,” the programmer said under her breath. You snorted, clenching your jaw to fight off a smile. Your gaze flickered over to the door. She acted similarly and, when she spoke again, kept her voice low. “A small companion droid would be nice for the long nights. Well, them and a cup of caf.”

What she described sounded a lot like what you preferred; it emphasized, for you, one of the reasons you enjoyed TeeArr’s company even when the droid was in a more obstinate mood. That companionship and the fact that he helped to keep you on task. His personality did, you had to admit, cause some distractions. That was nothing you planned to remedy.

“I have been enjoying teas as well as caf,” you stated, tilting your head partway to one side. “They can be more soothing, I think.”

“Hmm. I’ll have to try some,” she replied. You considered her, the way her badge possessed her family name and first initial—Kerti O.—and tried to remember just how old she was. You knew that she was at least two years your junior. Though this was not the first assignment you had worked with her on, it was the first time you had personally requested her presence. Kerti ducked her head in a wince as the physical therapy droid toppled over. “Oh.”

You cringed a bit a well, having seen the act firsthand. The droid had tangled its limbs in an attempt to execute one of its functions to assist a patient in stretching. “I am so glad that we have been given time to run these tests.”

While Kerti hit the switch on the droid, you pulled up the programming on your device and entered a few quick commands to bring up the section requiring review. The droid would need to better understand its own balance and limitations, lest it injure or potentially kill the patient. For the most part this had already been ensured, however it seemed that certain scenarios had been overlooked. Kerti returned to your side to read through the edits you made. Having a second pair of eyes was pertinent; the accidental deletion of other lines was always a possibility. That had happened with the physical therapy droid on its first test, which had then come to an abrupt end and delayed progress for two cycles.

The door to the room opened as you worked on the code, and though you did not look up to see who had arrived, you identified the individual by the sounds of their footsteps. Kerti shifted to your other side as a means of creating distance between herself and Kylo. Thus your peripheral view was unobstructed and allowed you to notice Kylo carried a cylindrical droid. You rightly assumed it was one of the newer training droids that had been completed for him specifically.

“Fix this.” Those two words, that command, spoken in a slightly softer tone than he would have used with anyone else had you holding back a snort.

You passed the datapad that you had been working on to Kerti then held out your hands for the droid. Kylo placed it in your possession as you asked, “What is the issue you are having with it?” Rather than respond, he simply stared at you. Now you were tasked with holding back a grin. There was nothing wrong with the droid that you held. Kylo had brought it as a means of having a proper excuse to see you if anyone reporting to Supreme Leader Snoke should question his presence.

To keep up the pretense of working on the droid, you lifted up a second datapad that you kept with you. This contained the programs for several training droids that you had worked with since coming to the First Order. There were numerous things you wanted to say to Kylo Ren, however your current audience prevented that. Instead you asked him a more generic question; how were the other training droids holding up?

“They are satisfactory.” You hummed in acknowledgment to his words whilst scrolling through the names of the various folders containing the programs.

Eddard walked up just then, diverting your attention. “There are a few limitations on the anti procrastination droids due to their altered physical form.” You chewed on your bottom lip. “Without larger hands, it cannot remove many distracting items from its assignment.”

“A small tractor beam.” Both you and Eddard looked quickly in Kylo Ren’s direction, equally surprised that he had offered input. More than that, it was a wise addition. Kylo’s visor lifted from the droid in your hands to your face. You could not help but wonder what expression he was making in that moment. Shy? Smug? A combination? You imagined that he began to scowl the longer you said nothing and stared at him.

Thus, as a means of lessening any discomfort you might have caused, you nodded sharply. “It would not alter the budget all that much if we do it correctly. Although this means that we will have to speak with the board for approval.” You wrinkled your nose at that. Politics, as always, were far from your favorite thing. Eddard, too, scrunched his face at the prospect of being present for such a meeting.

You looked to Aelin, who occasionally glanced up from his work to consider the group you were a part of. Walking over to him, you relayed what Kylo had suggested. Aelin paused in his current task and drew the plans he had previously scrawled nearer to himself. To finish the entire body of the droid now would be foolish; that would only succeed in increasing his workload when he had to disassemble components that blocked where the tractor beam would be installed. Aelin drummed his fingers on the table upon which the droid parts were sprawled.

TeeArr wandered over to you, the assassination droid following along. It was reminiscent of a baby bird with its mother. A deadly baby bird. Clearing your throat, you asked what TeeArr wanted. He prodded one of the droid parts while questioning the reason behind Kylo’s presence. His optics fell to the training droid still in your possession.

“It has not been damaged by a lightsaber.” A statement of the obvious, one that drew a chuckle from Aelin. You spared him a glance as you readjusted how you held the training droid. “A weapon of that nature would be a potential threat.”

The cleverly stated suggestion instilled in you a sense of pride with how TeeArr’s programming allowed him to better adapt to situations in which you found yourself. You sought Kylo with your gaze, and found that he had been watching you. Kylo Ren stepped forward, crossing the room until he stood nearer to the assassination droid. Its lack of weaponry did not mean that it would pose zero threat if it was triggered to act in a violent manner. All this meant was that it would be easier to subdue as well as any damage it was capable of inflicting would be minimal. Minimal was not zero, no matter how people would wish to sugarcoat it. Kylo’s presence, meanwhile, offered you more peace of mind. He could stop the droid instantly with the Force.

Kylo reached for the lightsaber hilt, removing it from his belt and holding it perpendicular to his body. His thumb skimmed the switch without activating the blade. Nevertheless, Aelin jumped, his limbs jerking in preparation for the hiss of the plasma blade’s emergence. TeeArr had no reaction despite the fact that he had been maimed by the blade before. The assassination droid likewise did not react.

Kerti slipped closer to one of the walls away from Kylo and the droids. She did not know about the assassination droid’s true function, yet that did not make her ignorant to what a lightsaber could do. The reactions of the others in the room varied. Some altered how or where they stood. Others remained in place. Everyone did jump in place the moment Kylo Ren activated his blade, which screamed to life then hummed, crackling.

The assassination droid stuttered in its movements, drawing the eyes of everyone off of the red lightsaber and onto it. It lurched towards the weapon rather than away from it, its limbs darting to seize the blade. You winced upon witnessing the droid maim itself on the plasma, which cut through its right arm. The lightsaber would have damaged the droid further had Kylo Ren not had the presence of mind to deactivate his blade.

Even once the threat of the weapon had disappeared, the assassination droid moved in pursuit. TeeArr stepped to the droid and closed his servos around the other’s remaining arm. The assassination droid whirled around, slamming its skull against TeeArr’s. Metal on metal released an echoing clash that had others covering their ears.

“Kriff,” you swore while reaching for loose components that you did not wish to have damaged if the squabble between the droids hit the table. Kylo stepped forward with his free hand outstretched. The groaning of metal grated on your ears, and here you did cover them as Kylo forced the assassination droid to still.

“The safety protocols on your droid are a nuisance.” You breathed a sigh of relief, nodding in response to his words. They had offered a proper enough lie that the others in the room not privy to the droid’s true purpose were put at ease. You moved over to the droid, which was held in place by both Kylo and TeeArr, and flipped the switch to force it to shut down. “The training droid can wait.”

That was well and good, considering you had dropped it when the assassination droid had attacked TeeArr. It was likely undamaged, however you wanted to ensure that you had not jarred anything loose. This was known to happen with them, a design flaw that Aelin worked to eliminate when he was not preoccupied with other projects. There was a high chance that he would be passing off that assignment to one of his peers now that he was bogged down with a similar workload to yours.

The chance to see Kylo lightened your mood, giving you more energy to focus on the work you had planned to accomplish that cycle. You knew that your spike in mirth was noticeable to those around you, and it gave you not an ounce of embarrassment. Your mood seemed to be contagious as well; the others in the room finished their tasks early, and thus everyone was granted an opportunity to get a headstart on the next day’s work. Even with this, you found yourself with little to do before clocking out and heading for your quarters to get some rest.

~~~~~~~

[Hux Route]

“I have been enjoying teas as well as caf,” you stated, tilting your head partway to one side. “They can be more soothing, I think.”

You collaborated with Aelin as well as the others in the room, working to ensure that no one was tipped off to the assassination droid’s true function. It mimicked TeeArr, following along as a child does a parent. You pursed your lips after a time, debating how best to screen for errors in the droid’s programming. You were particularly concerned with safety. What would make the droid go beserk? This question was one you would pose to your other team later.

In the meanwhile, you discussed potential upgrades to the anti-procrastination droid with Aelin so that he could implement them prior to finishing the droid’s body. Afterwards you returned to the physical therapy droid, checking on Kerti’s progress.

Time felt as though it flew by given how busy you were, and when you noticed that your shift had ended, you nearly hesitated to leave. You likely would have spent another hour there had Eddard and TeeArr not practically shoved you out the door. The latter followed you through the halls as you made your way towards Armitage’s quarters. He did not comment on the fact that you had brought along one of your datapads and presently had it powered on, flicking through notes that you had made. Nothing sensitive was displayed where curious eyes could see; you were not an idiot. Despite this, you instinctively drew the device nearer to you any time you passed another human.

This time when you arrived at Armitage’s quarters, you discovered that he was already there. You smiled, glad to see that he was less bogged down with work than you had feared he would be. The desire to see him was nearly always present. You would not be spending the night cycle with him, which made his presence more important.

“What are those for?” you asked, gesturing to the notation cards sprawled across his caf table. It was not common to see handwritten notes; most people utilized their datapads for just about everything.

Millicent sat atop the table, her paw on one of the stray cards that appeared to have scribbles taking up the majority of its surface. No doubt this was an indication that whatever had been on the card before that had been useless to its creator. The object would be burned or shredded later. That much you were certain of, as Armitage had never struck you as someone who would allow his work to fall into the hands of anyone not meant to possess it.

Said man hummed distractedly whilst tapping his fingers against a different card. He offered no other response, and rather than be annoyed by this you found it rather endearing to see just how absorbed he was in the task. That did not eliminate your curiosity, and so you stepped nearer to the table and crossed your arms behind your back whilst leaning down to read a section of what remained written. There were several terms only vaguely familiar to you; projects that he had mentioned in passing or that you had overheard through other conversations. This was not a proposal for those projects nor an update per se despite their mentions. You furrowed your brow, concentrating harder and reading another note card since Armitage had not waved you away.

As it dawned on you just what you were reading, your mouth formed around a silent oh. Warmth traveled throughout your body, your heart hammering in your chest. It was cute, you had to admit. Armitage not only practiced his speeches, he wrote them down and edited them. The pride that he placed in his work filled you with joy. Through it there was once more that sense of camaraderie, the knowledge that the pair of you shared similar views on how one should conduct themselves.

“Is there anything I can help with?” you asked, reaching to the side and stroking Millicent’s head. You lifted your eyes, meeting Armitage’s gaze. He blinked, his cheeks reddening a little. You cleared your throat. “Sorry.”

“There is no need to apologize,” he said, his voice catching. Armitage shifted on the blue couch and made room for you to come join him. You walked around the table and seated yourself next to him, your hip touching his. “One of the officers involved in each of these projects is being transferred so that he can begin work on a different one. The focus is meant to be on what he had to offer rather than the projects themselves.”

“I see.” You tapped your chin, keeping your hands up for a bit as Millicent walked across the table to climb into your lap. You curled your limbs around her, feeling the rumbling of her purrs. “A means of encouraging others not to screw things up while thanking him. Giving a proper send off. That kind of thing?”

Armitage nodded. “Precisely that.” His lips pursed forward and he sat back, his hands on his knees. You rested your head on his shoulder. “He does not want so much attention, nothing that feels forced.” You blinked then, quietly, asked him if he was disappointed the officer was being transferred. “Yes. He is one of the First Order’s better workers.”

This caused you to smile in understanding. Some of the other officers, namely those that had served the Emperor when he had been alive, remained caught up in old ways. They were more conniving than the younger officers, more stubborn and resistant to changes that could benefit the First Order as well as the galaxy. Certain transfers were not due to requests from more successful officers. At times it was for political reasons that, you believed, was meant to create a more hostile workplace. To bring more tension. It reminded you how Snoke appeared to play Armitage and Kylo off one another.

Your smile began to fade, and you calmed yourself by petting Millicent and rereading one of the visible cards. “I think it will mean a lot, the words coming from you.” Armitage grunted. You rolled your eyes at him. “Think of what you would want to hear.”

As he hummed this time, Armitage grabbed up the pen he had previously placed on the table and drew one of the cards closer. He began scrawling, his handwriting legible yet messier than it had appeared on other cards. You offered him some privacy, pulling Millicent up to where you were able to rest your forehead against hers. Her purring increased, and you kissed her nose then returned her to your lap, where she again curled up.

Though you could not read the entirety of the notecard, you did catch sight of proof that the flaws of the Empire can be overcome and exceptional in his field, inspiring newer recruits. Your eyebrows rose. Mentor. That final word revealed so much, and perhaps that was why Armitage quickly scribbled it out, the light flush of his cheeks transforming into a deeper blush. He huffed.

“There are ways to highlight his ability to mentor others without making it too obvious that you are referring to how he inspired you.” You held out your hand, palm up, and accepted the pen he then placed into it. He passed you a new note card next. You immediately began to scrawl various lines, some paraphrased and others promptly scribbled out. “It will go along with your mention of inspiring newer recruits.”

“I appreciate your assistance.”

You nodded. “No problem at all. I do hope you know, you will be reading these aloud for me to hear.” A mischievous grin twisted your lips upwards. Armitage quirked a brow. “I am completely serious.”

“I know you are.” Armitage began to gather up the other notecards into two stacks, which turned into three. The third consisted of cards that were useless due to how much was scribbled. You were not entirely certain how he had divided the other two, but that did not matter. You were still occupied with writing. You chewed on your bottom lip, your hand pausing. Finding the correct balance to ensure the officer in question did not become flustered and so that others did not tease him for anything overtly sentimental, that was rather tricky.

“TeeArr?” Your droid, who had gone to a corner in the room to recharge, turned his optics to you. “Person or unit?”

“Context?” You read the line. “Unit.” It was just as you had thought; it made the line less personal, more direct. Dispassionate in a way.

Armitage grunted, nodding in approval as he read the sentence. “Droids can be rather clever.” You released an mmhmm, beaming with pride not unlike how a mother would feel towards a child that had been given a similar compliment. “I should have the pair of you come over more often to help me edit speeches.”

“You should,” you agreed, toes curling as more joy swirled inside of your chest. “Especially with more personal speeches.”

~~~~~~

[Poly Route]

“I have been enjoying teas as well as caf,” you stated, tilting your head partway to one side. “They can be more soothing, I think.”

“Fix this.” Those two words, that command, spoken in a slightly softer tone than he would have used with anyone else had you holding back a snort.

“They are satisfactory.” You hummed in acknowledgment to his words whilst scrolling through the names of the various folders containing the programs.

Kylo considered the assassination droid and TeeArr before returning his gaze to you. “The training droid can wait.” You appreciated his method, the way it prevented others from questioning things that were beyond their clearance levels. Kylo gave an almost imperceptible nod in your direction then took his leave. You offered a smile at his retreating form. It meant a lot that he made the time to come see you, no matter how brief the meeting had been. It was sentimental in more ways than he would ever admit to.

The remainder of your work day felt as though it flew by given how busy you were, and when you noticed that your shift had ended, you nearly hesitated to leave. You likely would have spent another hour there had Eddard and TeeArr not practically shoved you out the door. The latter followed you through the halls as you made your way towards Armitage’s quarters. He did not comment on the fact that you had brought along one of your datapads and presently had it powered on, flicking through notes that you had made. Nothing sensitive was displayed where curious eyes could see; you were not an idiot. Despite this, you instinctively drew the device nearer to you any time you passed another human.

This time when you arrived at Armitage’s quarters, he was already there. You smiled, glad to see that he was less bogged down with work than you had feared he would be. The desire to see him was nearly always present. You would not be spending the night cycle with him, which made his presence more important.

“Is there anything I can help with?” you asked, reaching to the side and stroking Millicent’s head.

Armitage shifted on the blue couch and made room for you to come join him. You walked around the table and seated yourself next to him, your hip touching his. “One of the officers involved in each of these projects is being transferred so that he can begin work on a different one. The focus is meant to be on what he had to offer rather than the projects themselves.”

Certain transfers were not due to requests from more successful officers. At times it was for political reasons that, you believed, was meant to create a more hostile workplace. To bring more tension. It reminded you how Snoke appeared to play Armitage and Kylo off one another. It had to make these speeches more awkward to deliver.

You pet Millicent and reread one of the visible cards. “I think it will mean a lot, the words coming from you.” Armitage grunted. You rolled your eyes at him. “Think of what you would want to hear.”

#errorpnf #kylo ren x reader #general hux x reader #kylo x reader #hux x reader #kylo ren imagine #general hux imagine

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livingcorner · 4 years ago

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How to Create Your Own Herbal Tea Garden

For these uncertain times, a step-by-step guide to growing brew-friendly plants at home, and using them to make infusions that soothe and restore.

Here, tea ingredients of rose, chamomile and lemon verbena are shown in their natural, harvested and dried states.Credit…Fujio Emura

Oct. 22, 2020

You're reading: How to Create Your Own Herbal Tea Garden

The tea garden — a typically modest plot dedicated to the growing of herbs and flowers for steeping — has its roots in ancient herbalist traditions and helped lay the foundation for modern botany. According to “The Gardener’s Companion to Medicinal Plants,” a 2016 guide to home remedies, the study of herbal medicine can be traced back 5,000 years, to the Sumerians of southern Mesopotamia, who listed the names of hundreds of plants — including fennel, mint, thyme, sage, myrtle and marjoram — on clay tablets that were later rediscovered in what is now Iraq. Modern scholars believe that the Sumerians used what they grew in medicinal preparations such as tea infusions that were intended to treat ailments from toothache to inflammation. And in England, says Timothy d’Offay, a tea importer and the founder of Postcard Teas in London, tea gardens have their origins in the work of 17th-century apothecaries such as Nicholas Culpeper, a botanist and physician whose encyclopedia of herbs, “The English Physician,” has remained in print since it was first published in 1653. “The apothecaries’ focus was on the use of herbs in healing,” explains d’Offay. “It was really the beginnings of modern medicine. We often think that drinking anything without caffeine is innocuous, but herbal tea has power.”

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In Deborah Needleman’s tea garden in New York’s Hudson Valley, rows of lemon verbena, lavender, calendula, basil, thyme and bush bean fill a rectangular bed flanked by boxwoods.Credit…Fujio Emura

Now, in this time of uncertainty, as we cleave to small, controllable comforts, the idea of the medicinal tea garden is taking root once again. Easy to cultivate on a windowsill or balcony, or in any garden bed, and yielding ingredients more potent than typical store-bought equivalents (specimens cultivated in artificial terrains tend to produce less flavor), these plots of herbs and edible flowers offer a chance to reconnect with nature, and a soothing balm for our collective anxieties. “Herbalists have long talked about the value of growing your own plants,” says Karen Rose of Sacred Vibes Apothecary in Brooklyn, “and with a tea garden you can propagate plants that will actively improve your health.” Since the pandemic hit the U.S. in March, she has seen a dramatic rise in homegrown plants, such as lemon balm, mint and chamomile, which are thought to relieve stress and help regulate disrupted sleep patterns.

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Needleman’s tea garden is attached to the 18th-century barn she uses as a drying and processing room. In the foreground, lemon verbena and calendula grow in a bed of dahlias.Credit…Fujio Emura

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Bronze fennel, whose burnished yellow florets are often used fresh in tea infusions, proliferates in Needleman’s garden.Credit…Fujio Emura

For the writer and editor Deborah Needleman, formerly of T, the joy of the tea garden is at once horticultural and aromatic. “Growing and blending teas extends the gardening season in that it allows me to be with my plants all through the year,” says Needleman, who nurtures herbs in her garden in New York’s Hudson Valley. “And the smells are so wonderful. Opening a jar of dried lavender during winter is heavenly.” Last year, she developed her first small-batch dried blend, Summer Tea, and this fall, her loose Garden Tea mix of mint, lemon verbena, rose and other fragrant herbs will be available at the florist and soap-maker Sarah Ryhanen’s World’s End farm and online store, Saipua. Here, Needleman shares her tips for establishing and harvesting your own tea garden — and she, Rose and a few other growers and herbalists share their ideas for putting your bounty to use.

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In a scrubland field beneath a walnut tree, Needleman has planted mint and lemon verbena. “They’ll just keep going until they form a carpet,” she says, “so if you have a space that needs ground cover, they’re a great, low-maintenance option.”Credit…Fujio Emura

How to Plant

While it is possible to grow your own black tea (camellia sinensis) in northern climates, without the warmth and abundant sunlight the plant needs to thrive, the effort is unlikely to be worth the negligible yield. A herbal tea garden, by comparison, is far more resilient and manageable, especially if you’re in a city apartment. “Use whatever space you have,” says Rose, who suggests starting with individual pots of lemon balm, lavender and chamomile — ingredients you can blend for a relaxing bedtime infusion. “Just a few sprigs can create an effective blend that you can use all winter.”

Where you position your plants is crucial, though. “Many herbs are Mediterranean, and so they need at least six hours of sunlight a day and they want to be dry,” says Needleman. If you’re planting in pots, make sure they have drainage holes or stones at the base and, if they’re outdoors, she advises moving them to a sunny windowsill inside during the colder months. For those planting directly into the ground, she suggests using a corner of a vegetable plot. And approach the planting, or placing of pots, much like you would a floral display, juxtaposing the various colors, shapes and textures of different species. Low-lying plants such as lemon thyme look nice along a border, while the chartreuse tones of lemon verbena create a vivid contrast against dark leaves.

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Bunches of bronze fennel, lemon balm, sage and Thai basil bound with twine for drying.Credit…Fujio Emura

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Read more: Shed Organization: 8 Easy and Inexpensive DIY Garden Tool Storage Ideas – Gardening @ From House To Home

A damask rose sits alongside dried rose petals. “All rose petals are edible,” Needleman says. “But for tea blends it’s nice to use a fragrant variety like a damask.”Credit…Fujio Emura

How to Harvest

“The more you cut, the more they grow,” says Needleman, who recommends investing in a pair of sharp scissors for trimming (she likes Joyce Chen’s Original Unlimited Scissors). Aim to harvest leafy varieties (mint, lemon verbena, lemon balm, thyme) before they flower: “once a plant blooms, the leaves lose freshness and become bitter.” By contrast, gather the floral herbs you’d like to dry (rose, lavender or chamomile) as soon as they start to bloom and before the blossom starts to decline. The time of day can play a part, too: “It’s good to harvest in the mornings, after the dew has dried, but before the plants get stressed by the sun — that’s when they’re at their most fragrant,” Needleman says. The rule of thumb is to collect around 5 percent of a plant’s total volume each time you trim and, she advises, “you want to make a clean cut for the health of the plant, cutting down to the next set of leaves and removing any damaged ones.” Wash your harvest under the tap carefully and then gently dry the herbs and flowers with paper towels, otherwise you risk bruising them and leaching out their essential oils.

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Inside Needleman’s barn, sage hangs to dry on a ladder beside bunches of the willow sticks she uses for basket weaving.Credit…Fujio Emura

How to Dry

In the spring and summer you can snip plants from your garden and put them straight into your teapot, but as the colder nights draw in, it’s worth shoring up supplies by drying what you collect. To dry, store your crop in a cool place with good air circulation and away from sunlight. Needleman likes to gather her herbs into small bunches and hang them upside down. To preserve flower heads such as chamomile, she spreads them out in wicker trays or baskets. “You have to rustle them up a bit to get the air into them,” she says of the dehydration process, which can take up to a few weeks. “When it’s really crumbly, it’s ready.” Once your ingredients are completely dry, the meditative process of destemming can begin: Strip the leaves or flowers from their stalks before storing them in airtight glass jars. It’s a task that Needleman likes to carry out at the kitchen table after supper. “It’s just so mindless and relaxing,” she says.

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Needleman’s infusion of fresh chamomile, lemon verbena, mint, lemon thyme and damask rose.Credit…Fujio Emura

What to Make

Now that you know how to plant, harvest and dry your herbs, here are a few recipes — and a couple of less expected uses — to try. Unless otherwise specified, each of the drinkable blends makes one pot and can be made with either dry or fresh ingredients (loose or enclosed in a bag) in ratios according to taste. Use hot rather than boiling water to best preserve the potency of the plants and keep your pot covered during steeping.

Deborah Needleman’s Uplifting Aromatic Blend

“The chamomile in this tea is crisp and bright like a fresh apple,” says Needleman of her custom infusion, “while the mint and lemon balm are earthy and grounding, and the lemon verbena brightens everything up. It’s a balance between sharp and earthier tastes and scents.”

Ingredients (in equal parts):

Chamomile

Rose

Lemon verbena

Mint

Lemon thyme

Preparation:

Steep for 4-6 minutes.

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The herbalist Karen Rose prescribes a healing blend of, from top, echinacea blossom, lemon verbena and calendula blossom.Credit…Fujio Emura

Karen Rose’s Immune-Boosting Garden Blend

“I love this blend because it’s so accessible,” says Rose. “Echinacea blossoms are believed to have antimicrobial and immune-stimulating properties, lemon verbena is an antibacterial known for its nervous system and gut support and calendula blossoms can also help enhance the immune system. The fact that we can all grow these plants means that wherever we are we can have access to a form of medicine that has the potential to help keep us well through the cold and flu season.”

Ingredients (per cup):

A couple of echinacea blossoms

A few calendula blossoms

1 teaspoon lemon verbena

Preparation:

Read more: Harvesting Watermelons – When is Watermelon Ready to Pick? (Updated)

Steep for 20 minutes.

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Heidi Johannsen Stewart’s Le Hammeau blend combines, clockwise from top left, lavender, rose, chamomile and lemongrass.Credit…Fujio Emura

Heidi Johannsen Stewart’s Le Hammeau Blend

“Herbal tea is such a cathartic companion,” says Bellocq tea atelier’s Heidi Johannsen Stewart, whose own Park Slope, Brooklyn, tea garden features lemon balm, rosemary, mint and sage. “This hydrating blend — one of the first I ever infused from my garden — provides an overwhelming sense of well-being. Although the flavor profile is complex, the effect is both calming and uplifting, and it particularly supports the digestive and nervous systems.”

Ingredients:

1 tablespoon lavender

1 tablespoon rose petals

1 tablespoon chamomile

1 tablespoon lemongrass

Preparation:

Steep for 6-10 minutes.

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Deborah Hanekamp recommends a blend for the bath featuring, from top, lavender, calendula blossom, pink tea rose and sea salt.Credit…Fujio Emura

Deborah Hanekamp’s Bath-Time Soak

For Deborah Hanekamp, the founder of the wellness company Mama Medicine and author of the book “Ritual Baths” (2020), the windowsill tea garden in her Brooklyn apartment provides plants for both brewing and bathing. To create her soothing tea-inspired bath soak, steep a quarter of a cup each of dried lavender and calendula, along with a small handful of dried rose buds, in a teapot for a minimum of 20 minutes — or, for a more potent blend, up to 8 hours — before pouring the brew into a warm bath together with a handful of sea salt, a spoonful of honey and a few drops of organic cold-pressed olive or almond oil. Light some candles and enjoy. “It can be beautiful to have a few flowers in the water, too,” she suggests. “Let some roses float on the surface; it’s soothing for the skin and a healing visual meditation.”

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An arrangement by the floral artist Joshua Werber featuring rugosa roses, mint and hyssop — plants often used in herbal teas.Credit…Fujio Emura

Joshua Werber’s Edible Flower and Herbal Tea Ensemble

Herbs and edible flowers can be as pleasing to the eye as they are therapeutic for the body, and overgrowth and surplus cuttings can provide material for dramatic table decorations. “Homegrown herbs have these really beautiful, wispy shapes,” says the Brooklyn-based floral artist Joshua Werber, who fashioned the sculptural arrangement above out of rugosa roses, orange and hyssop, as well as mint harvested from his own city garden — all ingredients selected in homage to his grandmother’s blend of choice: Celestial Seasonings’s Raspberry Zinger Herbal Tea.

To recreate his arrangement, take a favorite teapot (Werber used one by the English studio potter Seth Cardew) and start with a base of rose-hip branches, which will give the piece its structure. Next, introduce a few of the rugosa rose flowers, making sure you remove any foliage that obscures the blooms and position them in a way that allows the deep fuchsia petals to play off the bright orange of the rose hips. Then, tuck in a few sprigs of mint to create flow and movement, and accent with a couple of flowering hyssop tips. For a final touch of whimsy, take a citrus zester and peel off strips of orange rind before wrapping them around a chopstick and placing them in the freezer; after 20 minutes, uncoil and drape them throughout the arrangement. “I wanted to show the cycles and the processes behind the plant materials used in herbal teas,” says Werber of the piece. “Even though they can be shared, making these infusions is often a personal ritual. There’s an intimacy to them.”

Source: https://livingcorner.com.au Category: Garden

source https://livingcorner.com.au/how-to-create-your-own-herbal-tea-garden/

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serararku · 4 years ago

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The Writhing Prize

This was the first time Mizuna had to actively work alongside a blind woman, which brought its own host of unique challenges.

Truth be told, Dawn probably wasn’t the easiest woman to work with before she lost her sight. Even in the best of moods she was easily agitated and quick to anger, and it wouldn’t take much to get on her bad side. She could walk around the clinic without the use of her outstretched hands just after a few weeks, memorizing how many steps she needed to take to get around easily enough, but all it took was Mizuna forgetting to push in a chair or rearrange a table near the wall to upset the blonde she-devil. After the third or fourth time she stubbed her toe on the leg of furniture, Mizuna felt she had no other choice but to buy soft covers to prevent Dawn from hurting herself. It was also impossible to tell if she was sleeping or awake, and more often than not Mizuna suspected Dawn would pretend to rest so she could listen in on her conversations during her many checkups.

Every tincture, remedy, elixir, potion, cupboard and drawer had two labels each- one in Doman prepared by Mizuna, and the other in Braille by Dawn. The fear of Dawn using the wrong medicine for the job and seriously injuring or even killing a patient compelled the Auri to learn the language of the blind in order to ensure she could double-check the Braille to make sure they remained accurate. On the other hand, if Mizuna needed something fetched- and she hadn’t left it where it wasn’t supposed to be- Dawn always knew exactly where to go to find it. Losing her sight seemed to sharpen her other senses as well, giving her an uncanny sense of smell, touch, taste, and hearing; she could smell an infected wound minutes before Mizuna did, applied stitches just as good as the best of them, and could rattle off the ingredients of a potion with a simple taste of a single droplet. Mizuna also theorized Dawn could listen in on conversations going on beyond the clinic’s walls- why else would she zone out so often?

Despite Dawn’s volatile temper and spiteful nature- at least from Mizuna’s perspective, she couldn’t help but watch and study her associate as she went about her duties. It had only been a few moons since her grievous injury but she had long discarded the few habits just about everyone else would easily overlook; when she read from her braille book, she no longer tilted her head to point her glazed eyes down at the pages, because she no longer needed to. Instead Mizuna would watch her silently mouth the words as if she was reading out loud, her delicate hand brushing across the dotted parchment a dozen times before she would turn to the next page. She wouldn’t even turn her head toward the person she was speaking to- unless she was angry. Mizuna would often deliberately wear different types of shoes to see if hearing her approach would throw her off, but she always knew it was her.

“Mizuna? We need to have a talk.” dreadful words escaped the woman’s lips. Words no one ever wants to hear and inspires anxiety even in the most aloof personalities. Mizuna stiffened in her seat, her attention yanked away from a particularly raunchy romance novel she had borrowed from one of Lord Isenhart’s students.

She braced herself for the topic at play, silently praying to Azim the Dawn Father that she wasn’t going to bring up her untimely outburst in Ul’dah again. “Yes? I’m listening.”

“Mn? Well, it’s Osric.” she held up a vial full of black goo that Mizuna swore was writhing and squirming in her grasp. “I managed to extract this from him, from what I can gather it’s parasitic and while not immediately toxic, it’s not doing him any favors. I sense something sinister from this, like… like the thing that took my sight.”

The more everyone brought up that encounter up north in the Coerthas Highlands, the happier Mizuna was for missing out. “Disgusting.” She blurted out, pursing her lips and furrowing her brow at the vial. “Whatever it is, I don’t think it’s natural. But if that’s what was causing Osric so many problems, it seems you already took care of it, yes…?”

“From what I can tell, I managed to forcibly extract half of it. I have a plan for a procedure but I wanted a second opinion. Seeing as this is using him as some kind of host, I figured making him inhospitable might be enough to make it want to leave- but not only just that, we should have bait for it to want to leave on top of that.”

Mizuna slowly nodded, doing her best to keep pace with this wild conversation. ��We don’t know what this thing is. It could be a parasite, or a curse. Or maybe some voidsent illness that could react poorly if we tamper with it further.” She leaned back in her chair and folded her arms; whatever Dawn was planning, she didn’t like it. Fumbling around in the dark is Dawn’s specialty, after all. “Let’s hear the rest of it.”

Dawn continued to explain her plan, “I managed to mix in some essence of nightshade and belladonna into a concoction that is just below lethal levels of toxicity, it should render him into a near-death state. Slowed heart rate, lowered body temperature, by all means it would appear that he was dead, even to his little guest. Then I can use some dark-aspected aether to draw it out, the same type of aether that the monstrosity had when we fought it- assuming the infectious thing came from that monster.”

“No.” Mizuna’s face hardened into a scowl. “Even if you managed to figure out Osric’s tolerance to nightshade, even if this thing behaves like you assume, and even with you casually mentioning dark aether, it’s still a far cry from a reliable plan. Nothing ever goes according to plan… and if our gamble deviates even a little bit, Osric will die. There has to be another way…”

Dawn knitted her brow, “And while we’re grasping at hopes and dreams this is the closest thing to a reliable plan. Measured and weighed. I have experience extracting this thing before. I’m glad you’re all for criticism but I’m not sure you trivializing things makes anything any better- did you have a better plan? Time is against us.”

The Raen seemed taken aback, seemingly ignoring her question entirely. “Dawn… you can control dark aether…?”

Seemed entirely annoyed by Mizuna’s question. “If I couldn’t manage the plan, do you think I would’ve proposed it?” she brought out a necklace from her shirt, a small crystal glistened. “I’m borrowing this from a friend.” With her other hand she sparked a brilliant purple hue of aether, small specks gently floating to the floor like dark snowflakes.

Mizuna once thought she understood this woman. She believed her ability to use her own life force to empower her aether was the darkest secret she kept, but this was something else entirely. Swallowing dryly, her eyes darted from the crystal in one hand, and the umbral aether in the other; her stomach twisted into a knot, and she suddenly felt lightheaded. “Alright…” She muttered out before quickly clearing her throat. “If you’re absolutely sure you can control this… then we should consult with Osric to get his consent for this procedure.” Mizuna nervously ran her hand through her hair while shifting in her seat. “What do we plan to do with this creature once we’ve successfully removed it from his body?”

“Collect it in a vial for further research. I know how it affects him in the short term, we don’t know what lasting damage it could leave. Even if the dark aspected aether doesn’t work, we have the other half and might use it to attract what’s left…. Are you okay, you’re moving around more than usual. I know this isn’t normal but desperate times call for desperate measures, Mizuna.”

“I’m just surprised, is all…” Once again she forgot about that razor-sharp hearing. “I’ve only known Black Magi and Necromancers with the ability to manipulate dark-aether. It’s… not something anyone can just pick up.” Mizuna pursed her lips and straightened in her seat. “Alright then… shall we ring him up right now? Or should we wait to do this on the morrow?”

Dawn sighed, “Or Dark Knights. Anyway, that’s why I asked for a second opinion. I know you’re skeptical but I wanted to know if you felt it was doable… I feel confident but… I’d feel better if I knew you checked the dosage and saw some sort of sense in my plan. But if you don’t… maybe it’s better that we just scrap this idea altogether…”

She scraped her nails along the scales on her wrists as she sat on her thoughts for a moment. She didn’t know how to answer this without bruising Dawn’s confidence in her plan, but lying hasn’t exactly helped their relationship in the past. Begrudgingly, she ultimately went with honesty.

“I’m terrified of dark aether.” Mizuna paused just long enough to gauge Dawn’s reaction. “I’ve never once heard or seen it used as a form of healing. It’s out of my expertise, unfortunately, so I honestly don't know what to think of this plan. But…” She leaned forward and rested her chin on her palms to keep her hands busy without making needless noise. “If you’re confident this will work, I will follow your lead. I know you have Osric’s best interests in mind, so… I’ll trust you to lead this operation. Just tell me what to do and keep me in the loop, okay?”

“The aether is a lure. Aside from that, we’ll be using typical conjury and good old fashioned medical knowledge.” she tried to assure Mizuna. “I think we should do this as soon as possible. If you think it’s manageable. If my plan doesn’t work, we’ll need to be quick on our feet and think of another method. Otherwise we’re back at square one and tearing him open again for no reason.” Mizuna’s brow cocked at that veiled insult; that foreign object she pulled from the Dragoon’s chest was dangerously close to his heart, and she still felt justified in removing it. Instead of inciting another argument, she decided to let this one slide.

After sharply inhaling, Mizuna reached up and pressed her thumb against her temple, activating her linkpearl. “This is Mizuna Kusakari, requesting two volunteers to bring Sir Osric Slater to the operation room immediately. Requesting two volunteers to bring Sir Osric Slater to the operation room. If he isn’t in the downstairs bar, he will be in his apartment, over.”

Another nap on another couch - Osric groaned as he sat up, the message waking him from one of the rare moments of quality sleep that he’d been able to have in recent weeks. With a tired sigh he pushed himself up off the couch, taking a moment to steady himself before making his way towards the clinic - still barely half awake.

“No need for an escort...I was right downstairs.” Osric declared, taking a moment to rub the sleep from his eyes. “Message said I was needed in the operation room?”

Mizuna gave him a gentle smile while she pushed her chair out and rose to her feet. “Yes… Dawn-... we have a plan to cure you once and for all, but it’s… a tad unorthodox. We wanted to explain it to you before we began, is that okay with you?”

“I… explained the gist of it to him earlier today… But I wanted to delay until I got a second opinion. Can you double check the tincture?” Dawn added. “I’m confident… like I said, but I’d rather not let my certainty risk Osric’s well-being.” Potions made with the essence of nightshade aren’t something one should underestimate; a single drop too much could be the difference between a deep slumber... and a permanent one. Mizuna had to reach way back in her memory to recall her experience with alchemy for this one. She poured just enough of the contents into her hand and rubbed it between her now stained fingers, checking both the quality and consistency of this nightshade tincture.

The man in question looked between the two women, loosely crossing his arms over his chest. “She did explain a majority of what she wanted to do - if you’re both in agreement then I’m fine with it. Mira had the right of it earlier - well, mostly right. I can tolerate the pain, but the sleep issues are going to lead to more issues down the road. If the two of you can remove this thing, I trust you both to remove it.” He gave a tired sigh. “I get the sense that either it’s addressed, or it gets significantly worse - and I’d prefer not to find out what that looks like.”

“Then we don’t have much time to sit around.” Mizuna pushed the cork back down onto Dawn’s nightshade tincture. “I’m going to prepare the operating room… it shouldn’t take more than a few minutes.” And with that, the Raen woman stepped out of the lobby, and disappeared behind the thick curtain on the other side of the room.

“Well, best case scenario you wake up and we’ll have been successful; worst case, and it’s suddenly not your problem anymore.” Dawn said in a grim tone. “It’s going to start taking a toll. I’m sure it already has. Take a seat until the room is ready…”

Osric reached up and rubbed the center of his chest, exhaling sharply before sitting down as directed. Anxiety wasn’t something that he typically struggled with, but the idea of being in a ‘near-death’ state was a bit nerve wracking. He laced his hands together - primarily to stop the shaking while he tried to think of something else… anything else - but his attention was drawn to the sound of movement behind the curtain.

That unaccustomed anxiety crept in as time itself seemed to dilate - the moment prolonging and speeding up at the same time. A reassuring hand rested on Osric’s shoulder which grounded him in the moment. He wasn’t sure whether seconds or minutes had passed, as it was difficult to keep his mind away from this imminent procedure; but when he looked up at Dawn’s soft lips and sloped jawline, he found the strength he needed to steal his nerves and keep his worries in check.

“Alright, we’re ready to proceed.” Mizuna gently called out, causing Osric’s stomach to drop into his lap.

“Let’s go inside.” a wispy tone drifted from Dawn as she softly yet firmly pulled at his shirt sleeve.

“R-right.” Shaking hands ran over his face as he stood, stumbling forward as a sharp pain rocked through his chest - as if the damn thing knew what was about to happen. Another moment to breathe through the discomfort, and he was able to turn his attention back to Dawn. “After you…”

The room was dimly lit- not exactly what he expected to see in the heart of the Ashen Wolves’ clinic. Only a handful of candles sat on empty shelves and on top of vacant cupboards, with the large rectangular table beckoning him closer, pastel white as everything else. Mizuna was flicking the tip of a syringe and squeezing out any potential air bubbles when Dawn and Osric pulled aside the curtain to join her.

“Take your shirt off.” commanded the blind woman, before exchanging a few utterances with Mizuna. The Dragoon swallowed dryly but complied, gripping the bottom of his shirt with both hands to pull it over his head in one single motion. The same reassuring touch from earlier found his shoulder when he lowered himself onto the edge of the table. Dawn peered blankly in his direction while pulling his hand up by the wrist, “Here…” she handed him a vial, smiling warmly. “You’ll be sleepy, and it’ll be over before you know it. You’ll be dreaming and everything will be fine.” Osric wanted to be relieved by her kind words, but he was no fool; he may not feel any pain with this medicine coursing through his system, true, but he would definitely know what was happening. Manipulating a living person’s aether was never a comfortable endeavor. A furtive glance went to her as Osric inspected the vial. It was now or never, and he already said he trusted them. It was now a matter of following through. He was getting cold feet despite what he told them- going under and leaving everything to them was easier said than done. After removing the cork, a shaking hand guided the contents to his lips.

It tasted far worse than he expected.

“Lay down.” Mizuna moved to help Dawn rest the Dragoon’s body against the table, almost letting him slam down when she lost her grip due to his waning consciousness. The potion was quick, and effective, but so were the effects’ longevity; now the race against time began. A finger ran along the scar on his chest that she created the first time to partly remove the affliction; “Mizuna,” Dawn spoke, “Can you make an incision here over the same area, I’d rather not create another scar unless necessary…”

“Just breathe, Ric. Close your eyes and count to ten.” Mizuna reached over to hold his head steady. Osric looked up at her face, seeing the colors bleed and tear like a dripping painting, and before he knew it, his sight was gone.

Tha-thump! Tha-thump…! Tha… thump….! … tha… thump...

“Fifteen minutes until we pull him back. Let me know if we start losing him.” Mizuna ordered, flicking her wrist to unroll the sterilized surgical tools. She took a piece of antiseptic dressing and rubbed his chest clean, before tracing her fingernail along the thin scar and holding the skin down. “Okay… here we go.”

Dawn kept a hand along his neck, feeling for a faintest of pulses. His core temperature seemed to be dropping as well, just as planned. His slowing circulation would also slow and stem the loss of blood, especially if they managed to avoid nicking any arteries. Mizuna ran her knife down the scar and cut through his chest like it was the first stroke of a painting. Just as she expected, the slowed heart rate kept blood from making a huge mess; a cut this deep would have sprayed the woman’s face in almost any other situation. While she worked her magic figuratively, Dawn went at it literally; she removed her necklace and wrapped the chain of it around her hand, holding the soul crystal tightly within her palm. She drew from its deeply embedded and fathomless aether, her eyes glowing a bright blue as she examined Osric’s form; now she could see Osric- the real Osric, his silhouette shimmering and brimming with life against the backdrop of absolute darkness. Her plan was to use the stone’s aether to convert to her own life force, and then use it as fuel to see the aether around her. Beneath the myriad of dancing colors and twinkling lights she saw it- a black parasite slithering about in liquid form through his chest cavity. A burst of purple aether fought to escape her fist, exuding dark aether as she held it above his incision.

“Come on…” Dawn goaded the infestation, “Come get it…” she continued.

The infection didn’t seem to move, but instead embedded itself deeper into his chest and around his heart as if to preserve itself as best it could.

“It’s… it’s not taking the bait…” Dawn said with a tone riddled of reserved distress.

Mizuna shot Dawn a glare, and in between bated breaths she said, “Describe what it’s doing.”

“It’s… wrapping itself around his heart, as if it’s… trying to keep itself warm or… tie itself to his vital functions. Either it’s trying to preserve itself through basic biology or it’s trying to keep us from extracting it- both are dangerous implications…” she reached for another vial she kept on her person, the other half of the parasite squirming within. Her hand trembled as she stared at the object in her grasp, bright blue eyes slowly shifted to regard Mizuna. “I think I have a plan…”

“Spit it out, we��re running out of time.”

“Self-preservation… that’s what’s motivating it. I have half of it right here, and if we give it a more suitable host than it has right now…” her eyes darted back to the thing around Osric’s heart. She brought the vial up to her lips and smirked.

Mizuna hissed at the woman, her scowl twisting into a grimace. “Stop! What are you doing?!” She almost leapt across the table and grabbed Dawn’s hand. “Your aether is fading enough already- and you’re the only one who can remove it!”

Her thumbnail pressed against the cork, ready to pop the top off any second. “If you don’t have a better idea here in the next few seconds, this is the only thing I can imagine might work. My internal aether manipulation is clearly better than Osric’s, and if I bring this thing into myself, it will attract the other half out of pure survival instinct. A healthy host, making itself whole again- Do you have a better plan?”

“The greatest surgeon in the world can’t operate on themself. If this thing latches onto you, it won’t ever let go until you’re killed.”

“Then you’ll have to remove it for me. Or I live with it and control it better than Osric can, we don’t have many options here and the clock is ticking.”

Mizuna swallowed hard before speaking. “Give me the vial. I’ll be the host.”

“You have ten seconds to explain to me why that’s a better idea and why you’d be a better host.” Dawn shot at her.

The woman shot Osric a worried glance- his eyelids were flickering and his fingers were twitching; this parasite was wrapped around his heart and hindering it from beating. “Because I’m healthier. My aether is perfectly normal- which means we buy everyone more time if I take it. You will be unhindered to remove it from me, and Osric can recover enough to help us. You’ve shaved epochs from your life already- this one last sacrifice may use up what’s left.”

“... Why waste a full life when you have a fraction of one right here?... Bottoms up.” she popped off the top and drank the contents. She heaved and retched a couple times, her free hand grasping at her throat. She gasped for air but found no purchase as she struggled to swallow down the ichor. After pounding at her chest and forcibly swallowing, she found herself grounded enough to focus and do what needed to be done. She took the soul crystal in her left and used it as a rudimentary blade to carve into her other hand, creating an open wound. She brought the hand onto Osric’s laceration and watched- the infestation kept still on his heart for the longest moment before twitching and loosening its grip. It now swam across his chest to reunite with its other half.

Her associate watched helplessly from the other side of the table, her face deadpanned as she seethed. It was too late to do anything about it now, so she was forced to go along with it.

“Ugh… Hng… Nng!” she sounded out as she felt the infestation slide through her wound. The other half seemed to be aware of what had transpired and directly tied itself to Dawn’s heart as well. This answered her question as to whether there was true intelligence or purely an instinct for survival driving the infection. The two were simply halves of a whole disconnected.

Mizuna muttered in the native language of her tribe. “You stupid little girl. Blind, and deaf, and stupid.” WIth nothing left to do, and Osric officially free from his affliction, she lifted the syringe she had been preparing and jammed it into his chest. With hardly any blood flow, injecting the antidote directly into his heart was the only option she had left.

Tha… thump… tha…. thump…! Tha-thump…! Tha-thump! Tha-thump! Tha-thump!

“... Don’t you dare say a word of this to anyone…” Dawn stared at Mizuna. For a blind person, she looked piercingly straight into her eyes. The Raen woman clasped her hands over Osric’s ears, ensuring he wouldn’t catch the tail-end of her comment when he started coming to.

“If you’re so eager to kill yourself, there are better ways to go about it.” Mizuna hissed, shaking her head. “I hope you have another genius scheme up your sleeve to get rid of that thing. I won’t be helping you throw your life away next time.”

Dawn felt an irritation overcome her; hate welled in her heart from perhaps the stone or the discomfort within her chest now- regardless, her dislike for Mizuna seemed to amplify itself exponentially. “You’ll help me if I tell you to, and you’ll keep my secrets if I tell you to. Or I’ll tell everyone how you lied about your application, how you don’t have a residence, and sleep in the sewers. I can smell it on you, no matter how many times you bathe yourself, the stench still sickens me. Every. Day. How are you going to get a job if I let everyone know about the unclean healer who’s lost everything and has nothing to give or lose anymore? Nothing to live for… nothing to offer.” her voice hatefully rasped out.

"Lied?" Mizuna repeated, grimacing. "You read my application, did you? What makes you think the Isenharts don't already know? Because they didn't tell you?"

The woman slowly blinked, biting back what she really wanted to tell Dawn; two outbursts would only make this clinic unmanageable, even if their relationship was already torn to pieces. "Tell who you like, Ms. Aethwyn. If you think insults and blackmail will make me do your bidding, then you've greatly overestimated the control you have over me." Sharply she inhaled, realizing she was squeezing Osric's head between her hands. "And for the record… I still have plenty to live for… like Osric- a man who deserves better than a hateful woman like you."

Dawn’s eyes widened, her hands moved to cover her mouth. What did she just say to Mizuna? She just knew she felt so angry. But she was cruel in her words and her mild distaste for the other healer had festered inside exponentially until it burst; it wasn’t Mizuna’s fault but she couldn’t stop feeling so overwhelmed by an emotion she wasn’t used to being bombarded with. She couldn’t see Mizuna’s scornful expression but she could almost picture it. Dawn shook her head to try and regain some bearing; she wanted to apologize but she had neither the words or time. It was too late to take back any words spoken. Quickly, she uttered a small incantation under her breath to heal her hand before Osric regained control over his mental faculties.

The Dragoon groaned, eyes shifting and moving under his eyelids as the antidote did its work. Slowly it brought him back to consciousness, and his gentle stirring caused Mizuna to release her death grip on his ears. His head turned from side to side, fingers wiggling as he started to wake, eyes slowly opening.

"You're awake." Mizuna beamed, folding her trembling hands behind her back. "How are you feeling, Ric…? Better?"

“A...a bit.Still out of sorts…” He blinked, trying to focus on the two forms near the bed - his vision still foggy. He attempted to lift his arms, finding the limbs still too heavy to shift, and settling for turning his head to try to look around the darkened room. “...Where is it? The...thing? I know you pulled at least some of it out before and I’d...like to know what’s caused me such grief the last few months.”

Dawn was turned away, her hands shaking as she was trying to catch her breath. She wrung her hands and kept them close to her chest. She turned her head in Mizuna’s direction, and she didn’t know what to say- she was quickly drained of her concentration and strength, and all she could muster was a bit of a stressed, apologetic, and pleading look, with guilt and tension seasoned in nicely to top it all off. She just needed time to burn the thing inside out with holy magic, at least, in theory she thought she could. But if Mizuna caused a scene she worried it wouldn’t help anyone. Alas, she was still at a loss for words- she could make up a story like she planned but Mizuna was right there to contradict her on the spot. She also had no right to ask that of Mizuna- to go along with a story, not after the way she spoke to her- she was sensible enough to know that. She decided to choose her words carefully.

“We… have it stored, in a container for now. We might be able to get more information from it now without it hurting you anymore… and I can start working on destroying it.”

“You need to worry about recovering.” Mizuna plucked the needle and thread from her toolbag and pinched the cut on Osric’s chest closed. “I’m going to give you some medicine to help you sleep. Hmn…. perhaps a bottle of brandy would be more appropriate? You can finally rest easy now, and soon you’ll be back on your feet, Ric. Speaking of which…” The woman pierced his skin and began threading the needle again and again. “Once I know you’re fully recovered… how about I grant you permission to leave the Goblet? I’m sure you’re dying to stretch your legs.”

“Bourbon might be the better choice...but I wouldn’t turn away decent brandy.” He offered Mizuna a tired smile before his gaze shifted over to Dawn, despite the woman being turned away. “I...feel different - so I know it’s not there…” He paused, taking a moment to flex his hands, the heavy feeling finally lifting. “But I’d still sleep better having seen it - is that not a possibility?”

“You can’t see into the container. And we don’t want to let it out, unless you wanted it right back where it started. Rest.” Dawn looked over her shoulder and gave a smile. “I’ll leave you in Mizuna’s capable hands. I need to give Hadriel back something important I borrowed for the operation...” she moved fluidly from the situation. Mizuna clenched her jaw shut as she watched the woman slip out behind the curtain. Her face was still flushed green and her tail lashed back and forth behind her, but she held her tongue and her temper for Osric’s sake.

The last thing he needed was to get roped into their feuding, and she certainly didn’t want him to take a side.

“Drink.” Mizuna insisted, pressing a vial into his flexing hand. “Let’s get you to a warm bed… we’ll talk all about this ordeal in the morning.”

Osric’s gaze followed the blonde woman as she disappeared from the room before turning back to Mizuna once again. With a wince, and with significant effort, he managed to sit up before drinking from the vial as he’d been instructed to do and handing the empty container back to Mizuna. “...As you say - you two are the professionals. Which way to the beds? I feel like I could sleep for another few hours…” He trailed off, glancing back towards the curtain again. His chest felt lighter and he certainly felt better, but he could shake the nagging feeling that something still wasn’t just quite right…

His focused attention didn’t go unnoticed by Mizuna. She furtively watched him in silence from the corner of her vision, as her stomach churned and twisted. “How can he love someone who treats him so poorly? Do they have a history? Or is it something more… simple?” Thinking about it only made her headache worse, and she wasn’t eager to dwell on it for much longer. “Ric…” She started, unfolding a collapsible wheelchair and setting it near the side of the table. “I’ll take you there. Come.”

With a nod the Dragoon shifted from the bed to the wheelchair, exhaling as he relaxed against the back of the chair. “...Thank you, Mizuna.”

---

Collaborated with @dawn-aethwyn @osric-slater-ffxiv

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lisarichardsonbylines · 4 years ago

Text

How to Tell Your Husband You’re a Witch

Witches we need you. Now more than ever. In the time of COVID-19 we can find respite in place-based reverence, plant magic and the divine feminine. So writes Lisa Richardson, who came to witchiness with nothing but white hetero straight-lacedness and a crush on a yoga teacher.

Lisa Richardson | Longreads | April 2020 | 15 minutes (4,084 words)

On a Friday afternoon, pre-COVID-19, my husband dropped some ice-cubes into glasses, ready to make us screwdrivers and cheers to surviving another week of working/parenting/wondering where the hell the years were going, only, the vodka bottle was empty.

“Oh yeah,” I said, my eyes sliding sideways, trying to not cause a fuss, “I used it for medicine.” The previous week, the kitchen counter had been cluttered with a giant mason jar full of oily plant matter. “Balm of Gilead!” I explained, brightly, as he wiped away the breakfast crumbs around it.

“But what is it?”

“Cottonwood tips in oil.”

His eyes had flicked, then, over to the brand-new bottle of extra virgin olive oil that was now nearly empty, as I enumerated the medicinal benefits of this old herbal remedy (and all this from a tree in our backyard!). Twenty-four years together means I could hear the abacus in his brain clicking, as he wordlessly calculated the cost per milliliter of a gallon jar of plant matter masticating in top-shelf olive oil, against the cost per unit of a bottle of generic aspirin tables, overlaid with the probability of me losing interest in this project.

First the olive oil. Now the vodka for dozens of little jars of tinctures — garden herbs and weeds soaking in now-undrinkable booze. My midlife quest to attune more deeply to the rhythms of the natural world was starting to incur unexpected, but real, costs.

He was quiet, as he opened the fridge and pulled out a beer instead.

* * *

In my defense, I could have pointed my finger at Natalie Rousseau, a yoga teacher living in my 5,000 person village, who I’d first encountered leading a solstice yoga class billed as a way to survive the madness of the holidays (in slightly more gracious language). Thanks to her offerings of insight I did survive the commercial horror of the “festive” season, and a few months later, as the new moon entered Aries (whatever that actually means), I plonked down $200 to subscribe to her online 13 Moons course — my foray into “slowing down and being more present,” as I pitched it to my husband when he inquired about the strange entry on the credit card statement.

But I did not deflect the simmering tension between us by naming Natalie as the instigator of these “kitchen witch” experiments. Even though I am not a member of any kind of coven or cult, (I don’t think book club counts), I know deep in my bones to never throw another woman onto the fire for helping you. That has been done too many times.

But there it is. The word. Witch. The wound.

* * *

Every day, after COVID-19 entered our world, Natalie Rousseau has responded with an offering, a teaching — a meditation, an ancient mantra of protection, a yoga practice for managing anxiety, a how-to video on harvesting poplar medicine. It’s as if she’s been resourcing herself for this moment to develop the richest arsenal imaginable, to navigate, not the public health crisis, but the billion personal crises each of us is forced to confront as life as we know it slams into pandemic mode. It’s not what I thought a witch would do, if I ever thought about them at all.

Natalie doesn’t look like a witch either — not in the way I conceived it for last year’s Halloween costume, with my long black skirt, dollar-store pointy hat, and heavy black eyeliner, walking alongside my 6-year-old vampire-werewolf. Natalie is petite, just a few inches over five feet, her long blond hair still evoking the decade she spent living in a west coast surf town, her chest and lean muscled arms bright with full sleeve flowery tattoos and Mary Oliver quotes. She moves like a dancer, demonstrating yoga poses as if she’s transcending gravity. As a teacher, she speaks exactly, even in Sanskrit, and guides movement precisely, padding gently and soundlessly through the room, making an adjustment here, offering an instruction there.

So, I was surprised when she used the word “witch” to launch her new online offering, The Witches Wheel. The lure was irresistible. Natalie was claiming the word “witch” without flinching, without anger, without provocation, not as a way to reclaim feminine power and stick it to the men, warranted as that may be: It was essentially an invitation to observe the cycle of the seasons.

A threshold beckoned.

* * *

Natalie, a recent empty-nester, lives with her husband Paul and two dogs in a modest townhome, with a creek and a dozen rogue gardens installed by various residents running behind it. The garage is full of motorbikes. The porch is swept clean on the day I visit, six months into the 13 Moons program, wanting to talk with her about this radical word and why, in a world still unsure what to do with powerful women, she’s not afraid that she’s exposing herself to pitchforks and fires, haters, and trolls.

Even though I am not a member of any kind of coven or cult, (I don’t think book club counts), I know deep in my bones to never throw another woman onto the fire for helping you. That has been done too many times.

A tea blend of her own mixing — vanilla chaga chai — is brewing on the stove in an open saucepan. She tends to it, as I settle in, sneaking glimpses around the room, looking for evidence of witchcraft — pentagrams, cloaks, bottled frogs. Nothing. The space is uncluttered, a throw-rug on the armchair, a couple of stark white deer skulls are mounted, European-style, on a wall against a reclaimed barn board — definitely more Soho chic than occult-goth. Her husband returns from town, where he has picked up fresh croissants for us. He’s tall and strong, with a tightly cropped red beard — he looks like a guy you’d run into at the gym, at the surf break, at the hardware store.

“So, what’s it like living with a witch?” I ask him as Natalie attends to our tea, a light-hearted question sprouting out of the great compost of fears I am thinking. Is it impossibly hard to be with a woman who comfortably claims her own power, magic, cycles, voice? What kind of a man can love and honor a witch? And lurking deep beneath it all: Will my husband be one of them?

Paul rolls his eyes, overly-dramatically, pointing up to the light fixture in the kitchen — light bulbs housed in mason jars of all sizes, evoking summer cabins and fireflies and Kinfolk magazine dinner party lanterns. “I made this for her because everything ends up in jars. Have you seen inside these cupboards?” He walks around the house, in faux-exasperation, opening doors to reveal neat stacks of jars, full of dried petals, leaves, syrups, tonics, salves, salts. “And there’s more upstairs!” If it hadn’t been for the dinner party they’d hosted the previous night, most of their apartment’s horizontal surfaces would be covered in jars, he tells me, and the front porch would have housed a dead raven and a dead Cooper’s hawk.

“She’s always sending me out in search of dead things,” he jokes. He picks up roadkill in case she can salvage feathers or skulls.

“When he first met me, I was already a skull collector, and now he goes and finds them for me and brings them back,” says Natalie. “He’s gotten really good at living with witchy stuff.”

The two of them are remarkably self-sufficient — an animal lover (“he loves animals more than people”), Paul realized veganism left him tired and undernourished, so took up hunting to procure his own meat humanely; one of the deer skulls mounted on the wall was harvested this fall, its meat now fills their freezer. They grow a garden, wildcraft, eat well. There is an ease between them — a tidal push and pull as they navigate their modest shared space and the morning routine, without evidence of fake niceness, of power trips or struggles.

Witchcraft, in Natalie Rousseau’s mind, is too non-dogmatic and non-hierarchical to submit to a single all-encompassing definition. “As a practice, it’s so highly individual,” she says, “but across the board, it is very place-based, land-based and body-based. For me, it’s about cultivating a relationship with your own body, your own mind, your emotions, and subtle sensing faculties. It’s learning how to trust your intuition. It’s about reclaiming your own instincts, but also being able to feel: this is what stress feels like in my body, this is what relaxation feels like, this is what it feels like to say yes to something out of a sense of obligation or pressure, this is what it feels like to have a boundary. This is what it feels like when I’m safe. These cues come to us from our bodies. It has to be, for it to work well, otherwise, you’re always reaching outside yourself for another authority.”

This is what she wants to help women, particularly, to reclaim: their sense that they are the first authority on themselves, that they can trust their bodies’ wisdom.

“The biggest thing I want to share with people,” says Natalie of her teaching and online courses, “is how to trust themselves. Everyone can very easily make the medicines that their household would need for common household complaints — colds and flus and chest colds and menstrual cramps — so many basic things that anyone can make very simply, quite affordably. I’m not anti-pharmaceutical. There are many medications people have to take daily to live. And if I have a serious infection, I’m going to take antibiotics; if I am seriously ill, I am going to go to the doctor; if I have any kind of trauma, I’m going to be so grateful for that form of medicine. But I believe the role kitchen medicine has is in the maintenance and prevention of illness.”

One of her biggest laments, though, as she makes videos and handouts and shares them with her online community, is that even people who have paid to do her course don’t feel that they have the time to take it into their kitchens. “Making a tincture is literally pouring vodka over plant materials and leaving it on your counter for four weeks!” she says. But it is easier for most people to just buy one online and have it delivered to their doorstep. “I am saddened by how easily women give their power over. This is the biggest thing I’ve noticed as a teacher in the past couple of years — how quickly women will say, ‘but how do you do this? I don’t know how to do this! I’m afraid to try this because I might not be good at it, I might be doing it wrong. I’m an imposter.’ I really struggle with this. Where is it coming from?”

But she knows. We have relinquished our power, over a thousand years or more, of wounding, of witch-burnings, of patriarchy either convincing us we have none or forcibly stripping it away, (hello Harvey Weinstein), until all we feel empowered to do, now, in 2020, is consume. And we’ve been doing that with all our might.

We override the listening, we ignore the nudges, we push through, like good soldiers. “Most people are running so hard,” observes Natalie. “Our culture is so focussed on productivity. We are so overly heroic — it’s all or nothing. I can’t do something unless I’m an expert. I don’t want to try. But this is a craft. It’s a path of education.”

Natalie’s invitation is gentle, and she’s crafted her online course to serve that: Start with one plant and learn its taste, its smell. Spend five minutes a day on meditation or in conscious ritual and begin to notice what’s going on in your nervous system, in your mind, in your body.

“When he first met me, I was already a skull collector, and now he goes and finds them for me and brings them back,” says Natalie. “He’s gotten really good at living with witchy stuff.”

Don’t get so distracted by the word witch, that you fail to notice that it is connected to craft. Witchcraft, for Natalie, is a path of learning “how to trust and problem solve, from within, knowing that we are in a system of power that, for better, for worse, will strip us of any ability to trust ourselves and to always feel empty so we have to keep buying more stuff.”

When she says this, a deep thrill of recognition hums in me, accompanied by a shiver of fear. Those are revolutionary things to say out loud, to cast into the open air. I recognize it viscerally as the kind of talk that gets people in trouble.

* * *

Last summer, before I met Natalie, I had stepped from my backyard patio stones onto freshly cut grass and spied the sinuous form of a wandering garter snake. I leaned in quickly, excitedly, about to call my 6-year-old over to glimpse the garden visitor before it shimmied away. But it was eerily still. Ugly slash wounds marked its body. It was dead. Innocent victim to the ride-on lawnmower. Obliterated by our oblivion.

“Oh no,” I muttered. “I’m so sorry!”

I had already begun to wake up to the natural world, it’s rhythms, it’s offerings of medicine, it’s otherness, but it had come with a shadow side, a growing despair at what we were doing to the world. Even without a malicious intention, I was causing death and destruction — just mowing the lawn, drinking my coffee, wiping my ass: My actions, all our human activity, had compounding impacts that were destroying the snakes, the ocean, the atmosphere, the forests, the icecaps — beyond repair.

I wanted my garden to be a habitat. I wanted the bees to waggle-dance directions to my sunflowers to their hive-mates, I wanted the wandering garter snakes to nest in their hibernacula through the winter and bask in the long grass in the summer, I wanted to lie on my back and watch butterflies dance through the flowers and the hummingbirds zoom in and out, I wanted to inhabit innocence again.

I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry. My penitence froze me in place, scared to make a move for fear of ruining something else. Then, regret overriding my squeamishness, I fetched the flat-bladed shovel and edged it under the dead snake. I carried her body over to the vegetable patch, and in a space between the beds, where the mower never goes, I laid her down. I picked marigolds and calendula from around the garden, where they’d been planted to keep the snails away, and lay the bright orange blossoms in a circle around her.

Grandmother snake, I whispered, hoping that some force that exists beyond the definitively dead snake at my feet, might spread the word among the entire species, “I’m sorry. We didn’t mean it. I will try to be more careful.”

It was a made-up ritual, the kind that a kid might perform deep in her dream world at the bottom of the garden, and it made my 44 year-old-self feel a little bit better. At least I’d made a gesture of repair, had expressed my desire to return into balance with the living world around me. If it had any effect, I’d never know. I went back inside, said nothing.

A few days later, out in the garden, my husband tripped over the skeleton of a decomposing snake, ringed by wilted flowers, half consumed by ants.

“That was spooky,” he confronted me. “What’s going on? Are you some kind of witch?”

* * *

Natalie has always been comfortable with the word. Now she’s having fun inviting people to consider the archetype, circle it, unpack it, stumble upon some kind of recognition: Wait a second! Maybe I am a witch!

“It’s cool how people in the western world can take a description that has been used mostly as a slur, and turn it around to use as something empowering,” she says.

For thousands of years, witch was a term used to incite violence against women. By the most conservative estimates, half a million people, mostly women, were executed in the European witch craze between 1300 and 1650. Accusations of witchcraft were used against women, says Rousseau, “in ways that were extremely dangerous and terrifying. It was really about getting power from them, and getting land back. So, to use a word like that in an empowered way, even today, you have to know you’re safe to do it. And it’s important to realize that in many places in the world, it’s still not safe for women to say that. But if we can, in safe places, take that word and turn it around, that, to me, is extremely powerful.”

I wanted the bees to waggle-dance directions to my sunflowers to their hive-mates, I wanted the wandering garter snakes to nest in their hibernacula through the winter and bask in the long grass in the summer, I wanted to lie on my back and watch butterflies dance through the flowers and the hummingbirds zoom in and out, I wanted to inhabit innocence again.

Natalie herself embodies empowerment. Not in the traditional way I have come to recognize power — as someone standing over, dominating someone else, her source of power comes from within.

She doesn’t need to take any from her partner.

“Do you find this relationship at all emasculating?” I joke to Natalie’s husband.

“I don’t. Not at all. No,” he replies.

“We’ve always given each other space to be ourselves.”

But that’s not always a guarantee of safety.

If it is dangerous to be an empowered woman in the world, then it’s dangerous, too, for the men who love them.

Lyla June Johnston is an author and activist of Diné and European heritage. Her inquiry into her disowned European heritage led to a realization: The millions of women burned alive, drowned alive, dismembered alive, beaten, raped and otherwise tortured as so-called, “witches,” were not witches at all. They were the medicine people of old Europe. Her lens, as a contemporary indigenous woman, and as a survivor of sexual violence, helped her identify that those were the women who understood the herbal medicines, the ones who prayed with stones, the ones who passed on sacred chants. And the all-out warfare of the witch burnings didn’t just harm the women. It had a profound effect on the men who loved them, their husbands, sons, brothers. She recognizes the echo of this in the story of her own time, of her own people. “Nothing makes a man go mad like watching the women of his family get burned alive. If the men respond to this hatred with hatred, the hatred is passed on. And who can blame them? While peace and love are the correct response to hatred, it is not an easy response by any means.”

How many men have kept their women down, tried to keep them at home, have become the handcuffs that the women fought against because they were answering to their own unarticulated primal instinct to keep them safe?

Natalie Rousseau speculates, “I am sure historically you had lots of husbands telling their wives to tone it down, not because they didn’t respect their power, but because they were genuinely afraid. I’d apply that to any women described as uppity — getting involved politically, or getting involved in local stuff that’s happening, fighting for the environment: Stop getting noticed so much. This could be dangerous.”

Some dangers are too great to be able to protect each other from. And so we turn the fight on each other — little domestic power-trips that distract us from the fact that we’ve relinquished all our power any way to the Great Machine.

* * *

My tentative inquiries into witchcraft, becoming fluent in my own moods and emotions, and paying attention to the seasons, barely prepared me for the abrupt slow-the-fuck-down order that came when COVID-19 landed in British Columbia, in my village, as school broke for spring break. The emergency handbrake was pulled. Everything came to a squealing stop — all my plans, canceled; all the stores, closing; the whole damn world, under house arrest and in a panic. The whiplash from the stunning speed of that shift has left my whole being hypersensitive to any sudden movement, to being jerked around. But the first things I have staked my trust in, in that space of uncertainty, were Natalie’s teachings: First, trust your body. Pause. Listen.

In self-imposed isolation with my husband and just-turned-7-year-old, I dance with anxiety and curiosity and disconnection and too-much-information. The well-trodden pathways we have all been racing along, flexing our power and exercising our entitlements as consumers, are suddenly bordered up with emergency tape. This invitation that Natalie has been dripping out, month after month, takes root. There is far more potency available to us, than shopping, driving, holidaying, consuming, endlessly moving around the planet.

There is potency in all the feelings that have been showing up at my door. Oh, good morning frustration. Ah grief, yes, I suppose you’d like a cup of tea. Hello there, existential terror, I wondered when you’d pop by. There is potency in sitting with my back against a huge cedar tree and listening, in slowing down so much that I can give my 7-year-old my full attention. There is potency even in my words, when I soothe him down from a tantrum by saying, “you know, this is a really hard time for everyone in the whole world right now because no one knows what’s going to happen and no one can play with their friends. I’m really proud of you.” And I can feel his body relax into this space of being acknowledged in his struggles and his efforts.

I don’t know if there are any medicinal properties in the tincture of St John’s Wort and valerian that I drop into water and hand my husband, to gentle his nervous system. Or in the jar of immune-boosting oxymel, that I brewed up with grated ginger and turmeric and orange peel, and shake every day. But even if it’s a placebo, there’s a relief for me in feeling I can do something, can offer my people some kind of healing intention in a little glass, that I can acknowledge that this is hard for my husband too, and that acknowledgment isn’t a concession that takes away from my own sense of struggle.

For decades, we’ve bought into the illusion that our power is as consumers. Now that stores are closing and the shelves are emptying and we have to stay home and not immediately indulge every whim that arises, we all feel powerless. But that was never our truest source of power. There’s another source that we can all plug back into, our deep relationship and interbeing with the life force. Maybe, this is our threshold moment. Maybe, this is a chance to craft a few little spells, to speak the words of the world we long to inhabit — a place where the currency of kindness and wonder flow, where humans return to a deep memory of belonging among the plants and creatures, and to brew up a cup of tea, light a candle, and dream it into existence. Maybe it’s an invitation to say, “I’m sorry, we didn’t mean to, I will try and be more careful,” and to build a little altar, even if you feel kind of cray cray doing it. Let your nervous system settle as you invent some small ritual, (just ask your inner 5-year-old for guidance, she probably remembers exactly what to do), and make a gesture of repair.

“I can’t think of anyone I’d rather have on my Apocalypse team,” I tell my husband, the night the global virus countertops 400,000. He’s been chopping wood, auditing the pantry, getting our kid across the finish line of the LEGO project that has absorbed him for four days. My husband was a farm kid. He’s always been practical, my polar opposite. Even when we have battled each other, (am I giving up too much of my power to him? If I acknowledge his pain and his needs, will that cancel mine out?) I’ve always known he would do anything to keep me safe. “Not that I can request an upgrade now,” I joke. “But I bet you’re glad to be stuck with me. One always wants a daydreamer at your side in a pinch.”

“Oh yeah,” he spoofs me: “’ The stock market is collapsing, let me just go check my Tarot cards.’”

We laugh. And hold each other. We can’t buy our way out of this. None of us. Our entire species, our global community, is being vividly reminded that we are all in this together, inextricably connected, epidemiologically entwined, in our vulnerability and our sweet potential. We didn’t need Amazon and airlines and online shopping to know what the witches have been telling us all this time. All the power we need is right here — between us, around us, within us. We just have to remember it.

* * *

Lisa Richarson

is a senior contributor to Coast Mountain Culture magazine and a columnist for Pique newsmagazine and edits the hyperlocal websites,

TheWellnessAlmanac.com

and

TracedElements.com.

She’s deep into a decade-long mission to slow the fuck down, but still optimize life for happiness and productivity. Born and raised in Australia, she has lived as a guest on the unceded territory of the Líl̓wat Nation since a ski vacation went rogue 20-odd years ago.

Editor: Carolyn Wells

Posted by

Lisa Richardson

April 8, 2020

https://longreads.com/2020/04/08/how-to-tell-your-husband-youre-a-witch/

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denmaar01 · 4 years ago

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Communicate Much better With Your Mental-Well being Treatment Prescriber

A person of the most common communications gaps is involving doctors and consumers. Quite a few clientele build "white-coat brain lock" when it comes to inquiring queries in the course of appointments. Some sense inferior and are intimidated by what they believe to be the doctor's remarkable skills. Even now some others, when leaving the business office, question what alien language the doctor was speaking. How well do your purchasers connect with their psychological-health and fitness medication prescribers? Irrespective of whether that is their major-care medical professional, psychiatrist, nurse practitioner or physician assistant, the far more open a client's communications, the much better the odds at getting optimal treatment. Clinicians can help. Here are 10 ideas to share with your shoppers to support them with communicating additional effectively with prescribers all through office environment visits. one. Prepare for the appointment: Doctor's offices these times are a flurry of activity. So except they're having an original analysis, visits are likely to be as temporary as 20 to thirty minutes. Listed here are some typical recommendations for clients: Arrive early. Each individual doctor's business office will check with you to fill out forms. Arriving early will support make certain that you've received all the things in buy in advance of you meet with your medical doctor. Convey a record of your indications. The extra unique the descriptions, the higher the chance your health care provider will be in a position to zero in on your difficulty. If you have any inquiries regarding where and how you can make use of behavioral health codes for billing, you can call us at our own web-site. For case in point, these are very clear, useful descriptions: "I have been feeling unhappy recently, and I have no strength." "I have missing my hunger in excess of the earlier several days, and I am sleeping badly." "I have not long ago began emotion enthusiastic and agitated, but I cannot seem to calm down." Bring a checklist of all medications you now take. Be positive to include things like all in excess of-the-counter medicines -- including natural vitamins, herbals and other health supplements. These are remedies, much too. Carry all your insurance info and any health care directives. Acquire a spiral notebook and title it just "My Mental Health and fitness." Use it to jot down particular inquiries you have for the health practitioner, and to take notes as your questions are answered. two. Keep it Uncomplicated: The consumer ought to inquire: "What do you believe is improper with me? Then request these a few comply with-up questions: What lead you to that conclusion? What may well be triggering this to come about? What else could it be? 3. Question About Tests: The prescriber may perhaps advise that certain psychological assessments are warranted to better make clear the client's trouble. If so, suggest they ask these inquiries: What do these exams entail? How should I get ready for these assessments, if at all? Will you perform the tests? Or will I be referred to yet another psychological-health skilled? four. Remedy Solutions: Queries to request: Is there much more than one treatment for my problem? If so, what are the execs and downsides of each and every procedure? 5. Prescription Medicine: This can be a thorny situation, as prescriptions are often created at the close of a check out. At a minimum amount, your shopper will want to know the pursuing: What kind of medicine is becoming prescribed for me? For what length of time will I be taking it? What can I realistically expect from this medicine? What are the medication's standard side results? Can I beat these side results, and if so, how? Do these aspect results diminish above time? six. Other referrals. A dilemma for your consumer to request: Physician, do you believe that a referral to a expert - these as a psychiatrist - could possibly be in purchase? 7. You should not hold thy tongue: Your consumer is the purchaser! Suggest that they not go away the business without having getting their issues answered and being familiar with anything the prescriber has informed them in language they can comprehend. eight. Will not Withhold Data: Medical professionals usually are not brain-audience. If your shopper isn't really sharing data because they think it is too delicate or irrelevant to their pay a visit to, question them to severely reconsider. 9. Bring a Buddy: Doctor's visits are substantially additional tolerable if shoppers provide alongside a buddy, family members member or colleague for guidance. ten. Generally Stick to Up: There's an aged declaring in present business enterprise: "Really don't simply call us, we are going to get in touch with you." But when it will come to a client's relationship with their prescriber, the reverse is real. In modern frenetic planet of drugs, next up has come to be the client's obligation. Instruct your purchasers to inquire about stick to-up visits. More than probably, they will be ready to program their subsequent appointment in advance of leaving the office. Also, building a trusting and gratifying partnership with a prescriber takes time. When it comes to no matter whether the connection is a good suit, purchasers must have faith in their instincts. If the relationship is not a appropriate healthy, then consumers really should admit that it is probably in their very best desire to transfer their care to an individual else.

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catfoodblogs-blog · 4 years ago

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cat food wet

he time does fly. It seems only Cat Food a short time ago that I was sitting at the same desk writing an article for the 50th anniversary issue of this magazine. Now the 60th anniversary has arrived. Ten years ago, I presented an overview of 50 years of the magazine. Although a lot has happened with the magazine over the past 10 years, it felt best to take a different tack this time around. So to this end, I am presenting a combination of two of my favorite topics: catfishes and their aquarium feeding.

The feeding of aquarium catfishes, or all fishes for that matter, has in many ways changed immensely since this magazine first debuted in late 1952. Commercial fish food formulas have gone through a lot of improvement, and these have benefited both keeper and pet. But what goes around also comes around, and many hobbyists are rediscovering some of the good parts of fish feeding from the 1950s and forward (more live foods, custom-blended homemade fish foods, etc.). This is not to say that many, if not most, of the—how shall I put this—more mature fishkeepers ever stopped their "older" ways. They continued along with these and have adopted (and adapted to) some of the newer aspects of the feeding of their charges.

Plecos and Other Veggie-Eating Catfish

For quite a few years, loricariids have been at the zenith of their popularity, and it only seems to keep peaking. For many years (decades, actually), they were basically the clean-up crew and were seemingly tolerated because of their algae-eating habits. Their detritus-eating character (utilizing for food much of that gunk [mulm] that can accumulate on the bottom of a tank that receives less than favorable maintenance) was also appreciated. But there was always a small group of aquarists who appreciated them more for what they were than for what they did.

Times have changed; loricariids are now one of the hottest groups of catfishes going and are appreciated by both dedicated catfish fans and general aquarists alike. Gee, do you think that the zebra pleco (Hypancistrus zebra) and the constantly growing list of similarly beautiful catfishes have had something to do with this?

A Varied Palate

First it must be noted that not all loricariids are primarily vegetal-feeding catfishes. The aforementioned H. zebra has shown itself, in the wild and captivity, to have a predilection for meatier foods. Although algae and detritus are eaten in the wild, this species also feeds on bryozoans (moss animals), non-shrimp crustaceans, and insect larvae (bloodworms).

Other loricariids also show a more carnivorous diet: Scobinancistrus spp., at least in the minimal literature available, are apparently totally carnivorous, although their main prey (bivalve mollusks and possibly snails) would provide some green material that they had ingested to the nutritional profile of these species.

Loricaria spp. Diet

Other loricariids, such as some Loricaria spp. and some other genera will, at least seasonally (or based on food in the environment), also feed heavily on meaty foods, such as various insect larvae, mollusks, and sponges. This situation needs to be kept in mind and researched when you might be considering picking up a new species from this large family of catfishes.

Commercial Diets

Loricariids adapt very well to commercial captive diets overall, and generally these should consist of foods with a higher percentage of vegetal material. Such foods also provide animal-based material to round out the nutritional profile. Most commercial foods tend to utilize Spirulina as their primary vegetal base. This is actually a cyanobacteria, but that is a tale for another time. Nonetheless, it is a wonderfully healthy food source for both fish and man. Although the name Spirulina is generally used, the most commonly farmed species belong to the genus Arthrospira. But the name Spirulina persists in general use and will probably do so for some time to come. There is also some increased use of Chlorella algae (a single-celled microalgae), which is a promising development.

Additionally, some formulas are utilizing various vegetables that you might expect to find at your dinner table. At least a couple of such foods are noted to contain (in addition to Spirulina) the following ingredients: carrots, celery, beets, parsley, lettuce, and spinach. Wow! Sounds like my supper. Of course, these foods have many additional elements, including vitamins and minerals, to round out their nutritional profile. Many of these commercial foods will be found in various formats—flakes, discs, sticks—so you can choose whichever fits the needs of your particular catfishes.

Algae

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But, in using the above items, don't overlook the use of the real things. The first to be considered is algae. As noted above, algae is a major food item for many loricariids. Providing living algae for these catfishes is a goal to strive for; it gives the fish a more natural experience in that they can graze the food as they would normally do in the wild. But as anyone who has kept even a single bushy nose pleco(Ancistrus spp.) can attest, these fishes are very determined. Little natural algae growing in the tank will remain.

The Feeding Platform Method

The best way to remedy this is to grow algae elsewhere and move it into the tank containing target species. This can be done by the feeding platform method. You take a suitable platform (a rock, piece of driftwood, flowerpot, etc.) and, in the absence of any fishes that will feed on algae, let it develop some nice green growth. This platform can then be moved to a tank containing your loricariid(s), and they will be supplied with a living green treat. Such platforms can be moved from other aquaria that might be growing algae. Such a tank could even be set up for this specific purpose, with numerous platforms that can be used on a rotating basis. But be sure that there are no health problems with any contained fishes that might potentially be transported along with them.

Outdoor Algae Growth

This can also be done outside (at least for warmer times of the year in more northern latitudes). I use Styrofoam fish boxes filled with multiple platforms making sure that they get full sun. Although algae will just grow there, I usually inoculate such containers with an initial algae dose from a tank, or tanks, in the fishroom. Such a set up of two or three boxes can provide a large amount of living algae as food. I will note my wife, Aline, was less than amused with such use of our patio, but she finally warmed up to it. Should you want to be specific with your algae type (e.g., Chlorella), you can purchase starter culture units, although these will end up having to compete with Mother Nature's choice of greens.

Vegetables

The feeding of real vegetables, as noted in some commercial foods above, is a tried-and-true method of providing green food to loricariids, and many other catfishes for that matter. There are numerous veggies that make an excellent and appreciated food source. This is an area wherein you can experiment to find your catfishes’ tastes.

Zucchini

A good place to start is with zucchini (or other squashes). These can be washed and then sliced (long- or cross-way, your choice) and offered to the fish. There are varying opinions as to whether such food should be served raw or lightly cooked (for about a minute or so in boiling water). I prefer the cooked method. First, such produce sinks easily and doesn't have to be tied down. Second, research has shown that lightly cooking zucchini makes more nutrients available by starting the breakdown of cellular walls. Note: With zucchini, make sure that your catfishes eat the skin—this is where the majority of the vitamin A is located. Sometimes this takes a bit of training because the softer middle will often be eaten and then the fish moves on. If you leave the skins in the tank and hold off on other foods a bit, they will take to it. Also, if you use across-cut rounds, slice the skin in one place so that you are not left with a skin ring. These can be a problem, and I have seen loricariids become entangled in them and die.

Other Veggies

From zucchini, let your imagination run wild and try a variety of veggies. The FDA publishes nutritional charts for vegetables, and these can be a good guide to help you choose a good mix. Among others, I really like canned (or frozen) green beans. I most often have used French-cut style as a constantly present food for baby loricariids. The French style is good in that it exposes large areas of the softer pulp on which the young fishes initially feed.

Whichever way you go with veggies, and if you do your own light cooking, you can take the end product, freeze it on cookie sheets, and then store it in the freezer in air-tight containers. Then you just take out what you need and add to the tank(s).

Meaty Supplements

As a last thought, it should be noted that even the most algae eating of grazing loricariids do regularly ingest smaller quantities of meaty foods as part of the process. This may include insect larvae, small crustaceans, etc. So in addition to regular commercial-style foods, algae, and vegetables, do, in small quantities, regularly add foods such as frozen or freeze-dried brine shrimp, bloodworms, small krill, etc. for that extra flavor and nutritional punch. You can offer it right alongside the other foods or as a separate treat.

Other Herbivorous Cats

Three genera of the African catfish family Mochokidae (Atopochilus, Euchilichthys, and Atopodontis—the latter has never been imported, as far as I know) mentioned are basically ecological equivalents of many of the loricariids and enjoy a similar diet. Even visually there is at least enough of a resemblance that sometimes they have been sold as "African plecos," a name that I distinctly dislike, but that is another story for another time.

Predatory Catfishes

There are many aquarium-popular catfishes that are generally considered as a fish-eating group, but it can be taken beyond this in general principle. This diet grouping is not necessarily correct, as other foods such as shrimp, crabs, mollusks, etc. may also be eaten depending on the environment and/or time of the year. Many such predatory catfishes are also known to eat various fruits, again depending on the seasonal availability. The South American redtail catfish (Phractocephalus hemioliopterus) is such an animal, and its diet of such items has been well documented. Such work has also shown them to pass the seeds of such fruits, which then germinate and grow under proper conditions.

Vegetal Material

Even catfishes that may not specifically eat fruits do often ingest vegetal material in other ways. One way is that when prey items are digested, the contents of their gut then become food for the fish that ate them. At least some of the various prey fishes for a wide variety of predators are known to be vegetarians or detritus eaters. Detritus is broken-down vegetal material, generally with a good complement of micro and macro invertebrates. It has also been noted that predatory fishes may secondarily ingest some vegetal material when they are chasing and capturing their prey. This is no doubt true, but in some cases there may be more to the situation.

Meat

A case in point to the last situation is one of my favorite smaller (max size around 10 inches TL) predatory catfish, the auchenipterid Ageneiosus magoi. Two diet studies on this species do show it to be primarily a meat eater with fishes, frogs (in breeding season), shrimp, and insect larvae making up the bulk of its diet. But these two studies did show vegetal material (plants and detritus) present at respective values of 1) approximately 1.4 percent by weight and 2) 8.6 percent by occurrence. These figures don't, and really couldn't, show the additional vegetal percent comprised by the gut contents of their prey.

In any case, I was walking around the fish room one day, passing out small pieces of lightly boiled zucchini to a variety of tanks. As I went by the Ageneiosus tank, which contained six individuals around 5 to 6 inches long, I said “what the heck” and tossed in a couple of pieces. These were gobbled up as fast as something more meaty (bloodworms, guppies) would have been. More was added, more was eaten—and I know that the fish were not nutritionally deprived. The vegetal food then became, in small amounts, a regular part of their diet. Does this one example prove something? I think that it does, and it makes a point worth pondering and worthy of more experimentation with other catfishes.

Feeding Your Predatory Catfish

So for any predatory catfishes that you might keep, do work on getting some vegetal material into their diet. Direct feeding of vegetables or fruits is ideal if possible, but if not, do feed them prepared foods (at least in part) with a good algal/vegetable formula. If you are a live-fish feeder, do use healthy fish and make sure to gutload them with a similar food before introducing them to the predator's tank.

Omnivores

Another group of predatory catfishes to be considered are the insectivore/mixed carnivore type. Actually, many of these might be more properly classified, for aquarium feeding purposes, as omnivores. This basically means that they take good amounts of meaty and vegetal foods. This includes many smaller and medium-sized catfishes that make their living by feeding primarily on insect larvae and pupae. Such a diet may also include terrestrial insects that unluckily fall into the water and other small meaty foods such as crustaceans, mollusks, etc.

Looking for Food

Many of such catfishes may be deemed speculators in that they swim around “looking” for (by vision and tactile methods) and selectively take in promising foods. Such catfishes include many smaller pimelodids, doradids, and Corydoras and Synodontis species. This, as with the larger catfishes noted above, is often accompanied with the ingestion of some plant material (higher plants and/or detritus). This can often, at least seasonally, make up a pretty good part of the diet.

Variety

And their prey items are often life forms that make their living feeding on vegetation-sourced foods. Again, this is another good, and necessary, reason to make sure that this group of catfishes gets some green foods added to their diet. Many of these will take small amounts of regular vegetables but will do equally well on some of the available prepared foods (flakes, discs, sticks) that have a decent vegetal content. Just remember, pleco foods aren't just for plecos! They are an excellent addition to the diet of any catfish that will eat them—and that includes just about all of them.

These catfishes also appreciate live foods as part of their diet, and these can often be gutloaded with a number of vegetal-based foods. An outstanding guide to managing this feeding situation is the book Culturing Live Foods by Michael R. Hellweg (T.F.H. Publications, 2008). All aquarists should seriously consider having this book in their aquatic library.

Additional Considerations

As a final note, there are some topics that must be passed on, such as an initially planned discussion on the growing use of duckweed as an important fish food. But that’s for another time, and we will take it from there. Think green, feed green, and eat green.

See the full article on TFH Digital http://www.tfhdigital.com/tfh/201209#pg63

Zebra Pleco (Hypancistrus zebra) Species | Tropical Fish Hobbyist Magazine

Giant Pleco Care | Tropical Fish Hobbyist Magazine

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fuwafuwagem · 5 years ago

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I’m With You

Chapters: 1/1 Rating: General Audiences Relationships: Kirishima Eijirou & Reader Characters: Kirishima Eijirou, Reader Additional Tags: Seasonal Affective Disorder, depressed reader, Cute, Comfort

You sat curled up on the couch staring blankly ahead. You had half-opened the curtains earlier, but it was so grey outside you weren’t sure why you’d bothered to make the effort. Barely any light leaked into your room. It was as dark as dusk. Rolling onto your side, you stared at the blank screen of the TV, wondering if you should turn it on; but still, you didn’t make a move. You felt so worn out. Everything took so much effort. You closed your eyes. It would be better just to sleep.

You were roused from your light snooze by a gentle knock at your door. The whole of Class 1-A was housed in the dorms, but you hadn’t actually seen any of them in a few days. You could barely work up the energy to leave your room. They’d probably be grossed out if they saw you. It had been five days since you’d even found the will to shower.

Sighing, you figured that whoever it was would go away once they worked out that you weren’t going to answer, and you let your eyes drift closed again, but another knock, this time significantly louder, made them snap wide open.

“Heeey~ You in there?”

Your brow furrowed at the sound of Kirishima’s voice. Why was he here? Sighing again deeply, you still couldn’t source the strength you needed to rise up from your foetal position. You felt bad for ignoring him, but Kirishima would just have to accept that you couldn’t … Couldn’t what?

Exist?

Everything felt like too much. It was as though the dreary darkness of the outdoors had infected you like poison. A tear slipped down your cheek. You just wanted the day to be over. Maybe tomorrow would be better.

The doorknob rattled slightly, and you heard Kirishima gasp as the door actually opened. Of course you hadn’t locked it. Even getting up to do that was too much for you right now.

“Umm, sorry for barging in.” Red spikes of hair entered before the concerned wide eyes of your friend. “It’s just, nobody has seen you in a few days, and I was getting pretty worried.”

Eijiro Kirishima glanced around your room with a frown. There were empty noodle pots, bottles, cans, and snack wrappers strewn around the floor, but it was when his eyes fell upon you that you turned your blurry gaze away from him in embarrassment. You knew you looked a mess. Your hair hadn’t met a brush in days, you’d been eating nothing but whatever crap was easiest to grab, and your sleep had been so disturbed that you could feel the bags beneath your eyes. There was no doubt you looked awful. Kirishima didn’t mention it though. Instead, he smiled brightly and started to clean up without any further comment.

Before long, all the trash you’d accumulated was inside a garbage bag outside your door. Your room already looked so much better. You shivered at the disbelief that you’d let it get so messy. You were supposed to be a top student of the prestigious UA High, but you’d turned into a complete disaster. You felt so pathetic. As Kirishima gave a satisfied stretch at a job well done, you started to cry.

“I’m … sorry.” It was all you could think to say. You didn’t even know what you were apologising for, specifically. Maybe everything. Your apology made the smile drop off Kirishima’s face like melting snow from a roof.

“Woah! You don’t need to apologise for anything,” he cried out. “It’s obvious that you’re going through a tough time, and it wouldn’t be very manly of me to just come in and do nothing. So let me help out a bit.” He glanced out of the window and released a small sigh. “You don’t get a lot of sun in this room, huh? Maybe we can talk to Mr Aizawa about you switching rooms.”

As a temporary remedy, he switched on the light, and the room brightened up significantly. It wasn’t the same as the natural sunlight you were missing so much, but it was better than the gloom you’d previously been sitting in. You pushed yourself upright, and Kirishima took advantage of the extra space, sitting down on the couch beside you.

“So, do you wanna talk about it?” he asked.

Your body tensed as you held back more tears that desperately wanted to spill forth. When was the last time someone had asked how you were? You felt like you were being such a bother. Crying any more right now would only make Kirishima uncomfortable. In a desperate effort to hold yourself together, you silently shook your head.

Kirishima glanced at you. “That’s fine. You don’t have to tell me what’s wrong.” He rolled his shoulders and straightened his back as if he were squaring up for a fight. “But, y’know, no matter what it is, you don’t have to fight alone. I … can’t fight whatever it is for you, but I can fight with you. You’re never gonna have to go through anything alone. That’s a promise.”

You chewed on your lower lip as you clenched your hands together in your lap. “K-Kiri–” You wanted to say something, anything, to let him know how grateful you were to him, but your voice cracked as the promise of fresh tears drew ever closer.

Kirishima flashed his sharp-toothed grin. “And if fighting alongside you means hanging out, watching dumb movies, and eating pizza, that’s fine by me!” He reached out and grabbed your hands, holding them firmly in his rough, calloused grip. “I’m with you. You don’t have to go through anything by yourself. I couldn’t call myself a man if I abandoned you when you needed me the most, right?”

Finally, a raw, painful sob tore from your throat, and Kirishima’s arms were around you. He held you against his chest as you cried your heart out. All it took was knowing that someone was there for you. Kirishima would never let you down. You felt that fact as he hugged you tightly, making quiet sounds of comfort, but ultimately just letting you cry yourself out.

“I … should get a shower,” you croaked eventually.

Kirishima grinned, his smiling eyes meeting your puffy red ones. “I mean, I didn’t want to be the one to say it but …” He laughed, and it was such a joyful sound that you couldn’t help but smile too. “Go now,” he continued, “and I’ll clear up some more and make us something to eat. Take it one step at a time.” He helped you up from the couch, but even once you were standing, he still held onto your hands. “And remember,” he said. “I’m with you. No matter what. Whether you’re happy or sad, it doesn’t matter. I’ll always be here for you.”

You felt the tears burning anew in the backs of your eyes once again at his words, so you quickly grabbed a towel and went to get a shower. Kirishima’s compassion had truly touched you. Just knowing that he was willing to stay with you despite your depressed mood made you feel so much less alone. You truly believed that he meant it when he said he was with you.

And maybe, for today, that’s all you needed.

#my hero academia #boku no hero academia #mha #bnha #bnha kirishima #eijiro kirishima #reader

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