#but i want to share my gay little brainworms!!

[sol-flo]

it's not good enough yet but i'm tempted to post a chunk of the tnk analysis as a weekend treat to myself

[denimshortsdean]

wip tag game

Rules: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPs

I'm pretending @castielafflicted tagged me because I think this sounds fun as fuck hee hee. All titles are written as verbatim in my docs/notes lmao

what if Real Steel was Real Destiel (is this anything)

Japannatural

princess and the frog au obviously

top jimmy

maid on the shore sea shanty AU

regency brainworms

something something motorcycles

gay bootleg A Knight's Tale HELL YEAH

country singer cas and his gay little songs

bayou Uncle Tom's Cabin murder mystery

tam lin but it's GAY

tagging @realmandolin @forkinthegarbagedisposal @letterlimerence @electric-loser @riverwithoutbanks @destielyurii and anyone else who wants to share their wips!! I will gladly be your excuse to share

[running-tweezers]

Ok since I’m posting my 80’s AU fic about my OCs, I figured I might as well give a little bit of info about them. Don’t want to give away TOO much tho.

If you’re interested 👀

Zephyr Nguyen

- light of my life, my beautiful child, my number one blorbo

- 19 in canon (22 in the 80’s AU), they/them, gay, Vietnamese, 5’6”, weird androgynous goth icon.

- STORYTIME: They were NOT AT ALL supposed to mean this much to me. They were created as a stock NPC for my original table top role playing game. I wanted to give my players someone to go to if they needed something they couldn’t get from a normal shop, an underground black market dealer type NPC. At first I wanted to make a character who was dark and mysterious and didn’t reveal too much about themself.

Then I thought, you know what’s so much better than that?? Someone who thinks they’re dark and mysterious and is trying not to reveal too much about themself. But in reality is just really bad at it.

So I made a character that I only referred to as “Zee”, made them a try hard goth kid selling black market stuff out of their grandma’s basement, and sent my players to them. Those were truly the only details of the character I had going in.

Unfortunately for me, my players FELL IN LOVE WITH THEM INSTANTLY. They all became so invested in this weird kid and were like “ok so we’re adopting them, right?”

So I realized they were gonna come back and see “Zee” as often as they could get away with, so I had to scramble to build an actual character around them. That’s when they got their full name, age, a solid appearance, and a full backstory. From there I slowly got more and more invested in them until they became My Favorite OC.

Nate Grey

- 20 in canon (23 in 80’s AU), he/him, bisexual, White, 5’10”, chill asthmatic plant-loving sunshine boy

- I actually share custody of this oc with my bestie. He belongs to both of us.

In the fic, I mention Nate’s sister Mick. Mick is my friend’s player character in my game. Nate was an NPC created by them for Mick’s backstory and motivation.

This particular friend ( @phantasmechanical I’m calling you tf out) was the ringleader of the “let’s adopt this basement goth” movement. They LOVE this little weirdo.

So one day they come to me on discord and offer an idea that permanently altered my brain chemistry. “Mick’s brother and Zephyr are around the same age, What if they met?? What if we smooshed their faces together and made them kiss???”

I was not the same after that. Brainworms took root and have not let go. Now I’m here 3 years later with a Google drive full of fics of them.

That’s all for now. Again. Don’t want to give TOO much away.

[coiled-dragon]

2023 Character Wrapped

Share your Top 10 Characters of this year! Tagged by @fandomsmeantheworldtome

I thought this would be hard and it was a *tiny* bit only because obviously, my brain has been swallowed whole for MOST of the year by ONE MOVIE but for everyones sake I wont take up half the list with that cast of characters dfgsfhdgf

Renfield (Renfield 2023)

OBVIOUSLY pookie was gonna be the number one for this year. I have over 30 fics of this brainworm of a human being, this wet cat kicked puppy submissive-like-a-guard-dog-is-submissive looking ass. EATS HIM WHOLE

2. Dracula (All Iterations)

The king of vampires comes in tandem with his subservient little worm, though he might be upset that he's second in my list. Between listening to the Audiobook of Dracula, listening to Re: Dracula, watching Renfield (2023), Dracula (1931), Count Dracula (1977), Van Helsing (2004), Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992), The Last Voyage of the Demeter (2023).... I'm just so overwhelmingly in love with the character in all iterations, and have learned a lot about the man he was based on, too

3. Art the Clown (Terrifier)

He was the end of 2022's obsession that carried into 2023, and I still love this stupid fucking clown SO so much still

4. Jonathan Sims (The Magnus Archives)

The podcast that grabbed me by the throat and commanded all of my attention for a few good months, its hard not to have grown attached to the Archivist himself ♥

5. Daisy Tonner (The Magnus Archives)

WEREWOLF LESBIAN WEREWOLF LESBIAN WEREWOLF LESBIAN WEREWOLF LESBIAN

6. Chris Walker (Outlast)

PEOPLE DONT LOVE THIS FUCKING BRICK HOUSE OF A MAN BUT I SURE FUCKING DO. I need him to destroy me in as many ways as physically possible...................

7. Swiss (The Band Ghost)

BARK BARK BARK BARK I love Swiss so much hnngrngngrg

8. The Janitor (Willy's Wonderland)

Still one of my most favorite Nic Cage characters, we stan a mute austistic man who beats the fuck out of some animatronics in this fantastic FNAF knockoff

9. Buggy (OPLA)

LOOK IM SORRY AT MY HEART IM A CLOWN FUCKER AND THIS FUCKING CLOWN IS SO IMPOSSIBLY MY TYPE....

10. Karlach (Baldurs Gate 3)

Im so so so very gay for my on fire wife,,,

Tagging: @captainx-camino @sweetbreads @freakptarmigan @neophytepagan @robinsnest2111 and anyone else who wants to do this! Dont feel pressured if youre not up for it tho <3

[thatswhatsushesaid]

I see you have songyao on your bio blurb, which isn’t something around on The Untamed I’ve followed so far.

Would you mind please laying the fandom brain worms on that for a newbie? Their early timeline interactions are very cute, but I suppose I hadn’t considered it from a shipping perspective

hello anon! I assume you mean 'sangyao' rather than 'songyao,' because I, um. ...while I am sure that there is someone out there who has written some flavour of jin guangyao/song lan and ships it for whatever reason, I am not that person lol. the other ship I enjoy sailing in this weird, fucked up little novel about gay sword wizards is jin guangyao/nie huaisang, and I enjoy it because it is so satisfyingly crunchy.

I'll preface this by saying a couple of things which may seem a little weird, but they bear mentioning anyway because I think my way of enjoying non-xiyao ships with jgy is not the norm lol. so:

I don't consider sangyao to be a 'canon' ship in the same way that I do xiyao (I'll die and kill on that hill, esp wrt how it's portrayed in the untamed/cql, but that's neither here nor there), which means I don't think there's a defendable argument to be made based on what we're given in the text alone to state that jgy and nhs have reciprocal romantic feelings for each other. however--

what they do have in spades, especially in cql, is fantastic on-screen (or in-text) chemistry, and pathos, and a shared victimization by nmj, and Tragedy™️, and in the magical land of transformative fiction, I fuck with that shit heavily. 👀 god what wouldn't I give for a post-canon soliloquy by nhs just going full-hamlet on the audience about killing his ophelia, if ophelia in this context also was the one who murdered his father. (and.. married his... mother..??? nevermind it's not going to transpose perfectly but you get what I'm saying.) if anyone has the chops for it in-character, you know it's nhs.

imo, jgy's love and devotion to lxc is something so integral to his character across all adaptations of mdzs that even when I ship jgy with other characters (e.g., nhs, su she, or even jiang cheng), I still write him as being in love with lxc at the same time. ('write,' she says, as if she has actually gotten any mdzs fic to a state where it is fit to be shared with the internet. lol) this last point is one that I don't believe is commonly shared amongst other people who enjoy shipping jgy with nhs or other characters, and that's fine obviously. I'm just mentioning it to emphasize that maybe my particular brand of sangyao brainworms are not the same species of sangyao brainworms commonly found in other corners of the fandom. but this isn't a bug for me with sangyao, this is a feature--because think of all the ways you can lean into this to create beautiful, painful romantic friction between jgy and nhs in this context? "why won't san-ge give up doing shitty things for his shitty father and just come back to qinghe with me?" well, a-sang, if he wouldn't do that even for lan xichen, why would he do it for you? just... just twist that knife, just a little.

I've written in a couple other places specifically about why I enjoy this ship: here (along with why I also enjoy suyao and... do not enjoy nie//yao, at all), as well as here, where I dig down into the stuff that throws me right out of the immersion of the story vis-a-vis jgy's characterization. (tl;dr, jgy doesn't want to be a nie, and he does not want to hurt nhs, at all, period, before the guanyin temple confrontation).

also, all the late canon sangyao vibes contained in all their beautiful, terrible multitudes inside artworks like these.

I hope these are adequate sangyao brainworms for you, anon!

[yuzuspace]

neppa.

SUMMARY:

The feelings will fade away within the heat, right?

Relationship(s): Hinata Akira/Sakisaka Muku

Prompt: Neppa by Tephe, which you can see the shot is named after :> and also will stetson's cover of neppa is so (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ) yana neppa indeed!!

Notes: neppa brainworms. i was going to give this to tenkai but i figured that the gays need their first win :>

--

Akira isn't one to curse like his cousin who has a particularly colorful selection of words to use but goddamn, this fucking heat. He sighed as he felt sweat running down his back. He doesn't know if being in a small town makes it better or worse, he was searching for the nearest store that sold ice cream or anything cold.

This fucking heat, he swears. It has him running dry and maybe seeing things. His vision was either clouded by the haze of the heat or sweat accidentally getting into his eye. Summers are truly the worst, a sentiment he shares with a good amount of the population. Save for the fun festivals and trips to the beach and great festival food—everything is great! Except for the dreaded heat.

He ran his fingers through his thick black hair, sweat sticking badly. He hissed and fished out a clip from his pocket to keep his bangs from touching his forehead. Itaru would be proud of his hairstyle, taking up in his footsteps—a thing he would probably say if he was here. The taruchi hair, as his cousin would call it.

Speaking of Taruchi, he chews on his lip as he remembers how Itaru and Kai had initially planned out the Summer Training camp of Mankai Company to be held and their inn—the inn belonging to the Hinata family and how his cousin had essentially set up the biggest cliche in shoujo manga history: the Summer Festival event flag.

(He had walked in on one of their planning calls, which was met with a shriek from Kai but eventually pulled him along since they were family and if anyone knows the town like the back of his hand, it would be Akira. Planning was fun.)

His cousin playing cupid for her friends, a fun little scenario that runs through his head as he knows that she probably has a binder full of information and had planned five steps ahead but he soon started to wonder. Did she also have plans for him?

It was impossible, after all, she didn't know. She doesn't know. She couldn't know. Besides, he hasn't told her...yet.

"Aki," In his heat-induced vision, he sees a bright pink. A voice that matches the face, sweet like cotton candy, and a soft smile that could make someone's day. Was the heat so bad that he started seeing Muku? "There you are! Kai-chan is looking for you."

"Sakisaka-san." he gasped, laughing. He isn't real and it isn't like you've been getting dreams of this guy for the past three nights about falling in love with him. "This is another dream, isn't it?"

He could only smile back at him. "It's not a dream, I think." Muku pokes Akira's forehead with a giggle. Akira turns red, fucking red.

"M-Muku?!" He comes to his senses, the haze clears and he sees Muku's vibrant blue eyes. "I-I'm so—I'm so sorry, oh my gosh. It must've been the heat talking...!" he nervously explained.

"It's fine," the pink-haired boy offers him a smile for his worries. "The heat is really bad this year too."

"Want to get a drink?" Muku looks at him owlishly at Akira's offer. "F-For the heat. It's pretty hot, right?"

"Yeah, yeah—a drink sounds nice!" Akira sighed in relief and they walked to a vending machine, let's say—a quick walk of thirty seconds.

Goddamn, this fucking heat. Really. If Akira didn't have the restraint, he would be grumbling curses at the heat. Muku pants, hiding beside the vending machine in hopes of a shade. Akira blinked away the sweat in his eyes and gasped in relief as he feels the cold, cold sensation of ice-cold canned cola in his hands. He gets two (one for him and one for Muku) and an extra one, he has a feeling he'll need it.

He approaches Muku, who was squatting beside the vending machine. The princely actor sighed, somehow not noticing Akira towering over him and zoning out.

"Muku?" he called out. Once. He seemed to be in deep thought. Akira watched as sweat dripped down Muku's chin. He was mumbling something.

He tries again, this time waving his hand over his face. "Muku?"

Still not noticed. Akira sighed, squatting down with him. He pulls out the soda can and pressed it to Muku's cheek, earning him a yelp of surprise. He watches Muku's cheeks turn pink from the cold and the surprise.

"I lost you to the heat, huh?" Akira mumbled and grinned cheekily. They quietly stare at each other—Akira studies Muku's bewildered expression. Bright blue eyes under the light and blush from the cold sensation of the can on his cheek. He could see him shiver from the sudden cold, especially how close they are, noses nearly touching—

By god, he is adorable like this.

Muku comes to his senses and nearly turns as pink as his hair, suddenly jerks and stumbles back and falls to the ground—bottom first.

"Awawaa—S-Sorry!" Akira helps him up, dusting off his pants as Muku looked around. "Sorry, I kinda zoned out. Were you calling for me?"

Akira hummed, handing him the canned soda. "Yeah, kinda got worried there. Soda good?" The can's spirit is strong, and the crack of the metal and carbonate fizz is music to both of their dehydrated bodies.

"Are you okay though?" Akira asked, sipping on his soda. "That was...a fall." Muku blushes with embarrassment, hurriedly drinking his soda to avoid talking about it.

"Mhm, yeah! J-Just a little surprised."

Akira curses the heat. It's too hot to try and even worry about his tiny panic episode there. It's too hot to give himself a damn and think about his developing feelings but he gives himself this:

These feelings are fleeting like fireworks. That much he can accept. There's a high chance that Muku doesn't feel the same way, that he's just being nice. As he looked at Muku as they walked back, he thinks to himself, the feelings will fade within the heat, right?

Oh, how wrong he was.

[danthropologie]

idk who to send this so please im loosing my shit over this post . This is max with one of daniel’s well worn merch sweatshirt in their old Monaco apartment building or post race rbr circa 2018 polo (remember when they had that long motor home they had to share) .

first of all, obsessed??? second of all, maybe it's just the daniel brainworms speaking, but i kind of feel like it could go both ways re: maxiel?

(adding a cut because i kind of rambled on 😭)

like on one hand, as you said, it could be this idea of max still in the process of discovering himself. he doesn't really register that his feelings about daniel as a 'friend' are Different than just friendship until that experience happens. then, as any feral karting kid turned more-than-slightly repressed young adult would, he turns to the internet for help. but for him, it would be less about What It Means for him personally and more just about not wanting to compromise the friendship? like, daniel's so cool and fun and interesting, the first ever teammate he could call a friend, so of course the last thing he wants to do is make things weird or alienate him with these strange Feelings he's feeling!! he doesn't really even understand WHY it happened, but he's not really interested in the why either? he just wants to get it off his chest more than anything.

on the other hand, it also SCREAMS repressed bisexual daniel to me??? the clinging to straightness and reaffirming attraction to women despite this Not Very Straight thing happening. the downplaying and rationalizing of feelings toward the friend. the total avoidance of What This Means, while clearly having a bit of an internal meltdown about it.

like just imagine a scenario where it's like...it's 2019, daniel's left rbr, he's at renault now, and they're about halfway through the season. it's the end of another race weekend, and he's going back to monaco on air verstappen with max. it's a little chilly on the plane (max prefers it that way) and he forgot a sweatshirt, but max has an extra one he can borrow. when they land in monaco, daniel goes to take off the sweatshirt and give back, but max tells him not to worry about it, he can give it back to him later. so daniel takes it home with him.

later, daniel's in bed, trying to sleep, but between the jetlag and his racing mind, it's not happening. then he notices max's sweatshirt on the end of the bed. somewhere in the process of getting home and settling in it must have ended up there, and seeing it there now, he can't help but be drawn to it. so he picks it up, and at first he's just looking at it. examining it. tracing the cracked rbr logo on the back of it with his finger. he starts thinking about the team and how much a part of him still misses them. still misses max. nico is fine as a teammate of course, but he's definitely no max. he doesn't laugh at his jokes like max did, doesn't fool around with him in marketing videos and between meetings (and sometimes during the meetings) like max did, doesn't straddle the precarious line between friend and rival with relative ease like max did. but in a lot of ways, things between them are better now that they’re not teammates anymore. max is just his friend. there's no 'but' in the sentence. no caveat to the friendship. when they're together—like they were earlier that night on the plane—they're just max and daniel, exactly like it's always been.

and as the thinks more about max and how great he is and how cool it is that he gets call him a friend, something just comes over him?? all these thoughts and the lingering smell of him on the sweatshirt that's invading daniel's senses... next thing he knows, he's having post nut clarity and lowkey freaking the fuck out cause this is weird!! max his friend, and more importantly, he's straight!! so like any good raised-on-the-internet millennial would, he turns to anonymous internet forums for reassurance that this is Totally Normal and Definitely Not Weird (or gay)

[calamity-bean]

Stede Bonnet: A F*cking Pirate Musical (a review, of sorts)

Recently, I — like many of y'all — kinda sorta lost my mind over a new TV comedy inspired by a certain 18th century pirate.

While Stede Bonnet was not the most obscure marauder in history, I gotta say, I don't think I'd ever heard of him before Our Flag Means Death came along, and I certainly don't recall encountering him in any media before that. So imagine my surprise when, shortly after I binged the gay pirate show, fully in the throes of fresh brainworms, I caught wind of a new stage musical based on that very same pirate that just happened to be making its premiere right after OFMD! What a coincidence, right? And naturally, having just become enthralled with one fictionalized take on the Gentleman Pirate, my curiosity could not help but be piqued!

All this is to say: there is a musical about Stede Bonnet, and I watched it, and I had a pretty good time. So I wanted to tell y'all about it and share some of my thoughts on its themes, its music, how it adapts Stede Bonnet's story, and its take on him as a character.

Stede Bonnet: A F*cking Pirate Musical runs through Sunday, May 1, with digital performances on April 30 and May 1 for those interested in watching online.

First, a bit of a disclaimer. Although I talk about OFMD in my introduction to this post in order to explain why I was interested in seeing this play in the first place, I did not go into the theatre with any intention of pitting the two against each other, nor do I intend to do so now. These shows may be based on the same historical figures and events, but each is its own independent creative work, and moreover, both are over-the-top comedies that are... not exactly preoccupied with historical accuracy. Like, at all. The Stede in SB:AFPM is not OFMD Stede, and both are quite far removed from the Stede of history. So although I'm posting this in large part because I think this musical might be of interest to people who, like me, first became aware of Stede Bonnet through OFMD... Don't expect this to be OFMD, and don't judge it on that basis.

The Story, Characters, and Themes

This is a fun, energetic, occasionally poignant show, and I'm glad I got to see it. The performances were delightful, with a lot of absurdity, physical comedy, and talented singing; the audience was laughing aloud throughout. I really liked the set design: it's simple but effective, performed in the round, centered around a main platform bearing a ship's mast (complete with a ladder and sail). The floor is dappled in blues and greens to look like ocean water, there are ropes for actors to swing on and more ropes dangling ship's lanterns, a cannon up in one corner and a lot of humorous little touches in the props. The overall effect is quite charming and pretty.

The story opens just before Stede impulsively sets to sea and covers through the end of his pirating career, focusing mainly on his "collaboration" with Blackbeard. Stede and Blackbeard are two of the principal roles, along with Israel Hands and Elsie, a barmaid on a quest for revenge. Three other actors play all the supporting roles — primarily the pirate crew and assorted birds (signified by wearing colored beanies with eyes and beaks), who act as a sort of Greek chorus.

(Israel and Stede. Photo credit: Jeffrey Schmidt / CultureMap)

Although Stede — bedecked in florid aristocratic fashion, his hair in buoyant ringlets, his face powdered and cheeks brightly rouged — provides a huge amount of the show's comedy through his eccentricity and incompetence, his character arc is fundamentally about... depression. And grief. He starts out the play not merely discontent with his life, but suicidal and numb. It's clear that he has never recovered from the death of his young son and feels, himself, dead inside. He loves his wife and children, he has everything he needs... but still he feels empty.

Grief is also one of the major themes of the storyline that runs parallel to Stede's: that of Elsie the barmaid. I'm still not sure how I feel about how she fits into the structure of the narrative. She is very much the hero of her own story: she's got her own agenda that just so happens to intersect with Stede's, and ultimately, her storyline ends up driving a fair amount of the action. She gets at least as many arias as Stede does and, honestly, felt more like the emotional heart of the story than Stede.

Israel Hands is heavily involved in both Stede's and Elsie's narrative arcs, and he's a nuanced, sympathetic character who likewise does a lot of the heavy lifting in the show's more emotional moments. Blackbeard (played by a woman) is the primary antagonist, a theatrical, ruthless, and cheerfully manipulative charmer who is using Stede for his own ends.

Props to all of the actors in the main roles for their performances, and a special shout-out to the supporting cast, who were versatile and memorable in all their various roles. I kinda want a beanie with a bird beak on it, they were pretty cute.

The Music

The musical styles in this show range from piratey shanties, to your classic musical theatre "I Want"/"I Am"–type song, to what I can only describe as "80s movie training montage power ballad." While the singing itself was lovely throughout, I definitely enjoyed some songs much more than others. Those who know my preferences won't be surprised to hear that I mostly favored the ones on the folksier, more shanty-esque end of the spectrum. Some particular standouts:

The Act II opener ("Brothers of the Brine") is a stirring, very nautical piece that features a stomping part and a fiddle solo that the whole audience went wild for.

Blackbeard's villain song ("Blackbeard") is in a sort of dark cabaret style, complete with Blackbeard doing sexy splay-legged poses upside down on his throne — while wearing a massive fake beard.

"The Ballad of Davy Jones" has Blackbeard striking fear in Stede's heart through the tale of Davy Jones's narwhal-related demise, with a lot of theatrical bombast and fun.

(Blackbeard! Photo credit: BroadwayWorld)

Admittedly, there were some songs that fell flat for me. So it goes in any show. I really liked Israel's first feature song ("Israel's Rambling Backstory") but less so his later ones, and Elsie's solos were well-sung but felt a little out of place for me, in much the same way that her arc feels a little out of place, maybe? I swear I'm not just, like, against the concept of inserting an original female character into the story on principle — I actually enjoyed her as a character, and I certainly enjoyed her actress's performance. I'm just not sure how I feel about her role in the overall narrative structure.

Maybe the issue is simply that I felt like her character arc, though it shares themes with Stede's, diverted time that could have been spent better developing the title character, who to me was driven by the more interesting motivation.

What Is This Show's Take on Stede Bonnet?

The historical Stede Bonnet did bad shit, before and after he became a pirate. That should really go without saying. This musical's Stede is not entirely beholden to the original — historical facts about his life are omitted or substantially altered, his characterization is exaggeration and invention, and he really is, as I have said, best viewed as an entity very separate from the real-life figure that inspired him. But the musical still grapples with core features of what I think make the concept of the Gentleman Pirate intriguing: the idea that someone who had so much privilege would abandon his life and family in favor of a short, violent, and ultimately doomed adventure in criminality for which he was very ill equipped. In dealing with these facts, the narrative ultimately kind of has to at least imply some kind of judgement on his actions.

To start with: Why?

It's not a mere longing for adventure. It's not "discomfort in a married state." In this version, Stede loves his wife, loves his children. He says as much at the end of the play, at the trial that will lead to his execution. So if he loves them, why would he leave them? He struggles to articulate the answer, just like I'm struggling to articulate my point now.

Though this show's Stede is largely a comic character, frequently over-the-top and ridiculous, there's a sorrowful undercurrent to him that comes out in the too-brief moments where his character is allowed to be more serious and subdued. His songs express a desire to "rewrite his story," but what it really comes down to, as I said before, is the numbness and emptiness that too many of us who have dealt with depression know all too well. He's grieving his son, who died years before the story opens, and moreover just does no longer feel anything about life: he finds no happiness in all the things that used to make him happy, he desperately wants to change but cannot seem to do so, he seems mired in the past and without hope for the future. He tries to hang himself in the first few minutes of the play — a foreshadowing of his eventual fate. He's stopped only by a chance meeting with Israel, which inspires the impulsive decision to become a pirate, which leads, at the end of the first act, to the moment where he joyously declares that he FINALLY feels ALIVE again...!

...Because he's just shot someone dead. Killing a person — some random sailor whose ship Stede's ship has attacked — is the big moment of triumph where the numbness breaks and Stede feels brilliantly, exhilaratingly, unrepentantly alive.

(Photo credit: Jeffrey Schmidt)

And personally, I find this a more interesting motivation and arc to explore than Elsie's, whose story is a pretty familiar quest for rescue and revenge. Her arc's themes are loss, grief, acceptance, and forgiveness. Those are rich themes, but her story follows a familiar arc and she gets pretty solid closure on all fronts. There is no moral ambiguity in her motivation or in her character. (Though there is in the role Israel plays in that story arc.) She is solidly justified, solidly Good.

Stede is much more morally ambiguous, and his story is not nearly so easy to tie up in a tidy little bow. In his final song, "Eulogy," as he reflects on his brief life of crime, he says that he cannot justify the ends OR the means... and yet he has no regrets about his choice. He rewrote his story. His decisions may have been bad, but they were his decisions, and they made him feel alive again and reclaim a sense of agency over his life.

And fuck, I mean — being in your late twenties and depressed and feeling desperately lost and dead inside and just wanting to make a sudden, drastic change? Wanting to stop going to work, leave town, throw your entire past away and wipe the slate clean and run off to do something fucking ridiculous with your life? In hopes that somehow that'll fix you, that somehow that'll make you feel the way you're supposed to feel?? Relatable!! It's fucking relatable!!!

And I think this is ultimately where the musical comes down on its version of Stede Bonnet. He made bad decisions. His decisions were harmful and ill-fated and arguably stupid, and we're not going to try to justify what he did or where it led him. But why he did it? That we can sure as hell sympathize with. There's something very compelling about watching someone, however flawed, have the audacity to make such bold choices about the course of their life.

In Closing

To those of you who read this far: Holy shit, you're still here? Thanks! This got a LOT longer than I meant for it to! I had originally planned just to kind of summarize the general vibe of the show and then list some of the details I particularly liked, but, well, I'm not known for my brevity. I might make that list a separate, much shorter post and link it here.

Overall, as I said: I had a real fun time at this show. I'm glad I heard about it and that my interest in Stede Bonnet's story had so recently been piqued. It's not a polished big-budget Broadway show by any means, but I could tell that there was a lot of love put into every aspect of it by the creators, cast, and crew, and I can safely say that the whole audience seemed to be having a great time. Plus, it's always interesting to look at how different storytellers adapt the same historical inspiration into such different stories with different focuses and themes.

At this post's time of writing, Stede Bonnet: A F*cking Pirate Musical is running for about another week, with digital performances available online on its final weekend, April 30 and May 1. I am extremely impressed that you read all the way to the end of this rambling pseudo-review; cheers. <3

[helisol]

dude im not sure you will get it after reading this either, but you Can read it now

okay so first of all do not expect me to adhere to rules of grammar or Proper capitalisation, I am writing from the heart

so it’s been said before by other people but if Quark and Odo didnt look like the aliens that they are but instead like two regular prettybois the fandom would do cartwheels over their dynamic and Not call them a crack ship. because really, their dynamic fucking SLAPS and I’m here to tell you Why.

their surface-level dynamic is “Respected and Talented Security Chief and Cunning Immoral Businessman who are in Love but pretend not to be” and that's just an off-brand version of enemies to lovers! which is excellent and for some people that’s all you really need to get invested in a ship.

but some people look at it and go “Hm, no, that’s not enough. I mean, they work as friends but it doesn’t really have to be romantic.” and to that I say you are Absolutely Valid, not everything has to be romantic.

it just so happens that these two fuckers have one of the most compelling romance stories ever, and it’d be a shame not to explore it.

so before I dive into the internalised homophobia and repression, I’d like to take a moment to talk about Quark as a character.

because if you have brainworms like me you can kind of see that its an honest to god greek tragedy.

this guy comes from a race of people where being kind, ethical and fair is considered Abnormal and Horrifying. and I’m not gonna call Quark out of all people kind, ethical or fair but,,, 

you ever notice how he’s A Much Better Person Than Pretty Much All Other Ferengi?

dont get me wrong, Quark is still a bastard, but every once in a while his True Character shines through. and I say True Character because guys,,, the way he behaves around other people is an Act. he’s pretending to be something he’s not.

he has to try so hard to be a good ferengi it’s honestly painful to watch at times. because he is a SHIT ferengi! 

he loves his friends- because that's what the ds9 crew are. they’re his friends! and it makes him miserable because that's not! normal! for a ferengi!

let’s compare Quark and Rom for a second. 

Quark reeks of self loathing because a lot of the time he just Doesn’t act like a ferengi is supposed to, and this drives a lot of conflict in the show. he knows how a ferengi should act, it’s just that he can’t!! fucking!! do it!! but he still tries and tries to fit into that mold, which straight up ruins his life on multiple occasions.

Rom is also not a Model Ferengi, but he lives without hating himself. and it’s mostly because he doesn’t care about how a ferengi Should act, he’s loved and cared for even when everybody knows that he’s a shit ferengi! because his non-ferengi-ness works to his benefit. it encourages and highlights his abilities as an engineer. the success and love he finds make it easy for him to be content with his true self. Unlike Quark, who doesn’t get unconditional love from anyone.

its so!! tragic!! because you can see what Quark is really like!! his true self!! he’s a nice guy who cares for people!

its right there all the time and it's so blatantly obvious. especially in episodes like “Body Parts”, “Bar Association”, “The Way Of The Warrior” and “Ferengi Love Songs”

his own wiki page literally calls him “a compassionate and generous man by ferengi standards” which pretty much translates to “not really a good ferengi”.

anyway so Quark is a tragic figure or whatever but we’re actually here for the REPRESSED! HOMOSEXUAL! TENDENCIES! that he and Odo both exhibit.

with characters like garak you don’t really need to have brainrot to pick up on those tendencies, because that was something andrew robinson chose to do, on purpose. 

and to be fair, Quark wasn’t intended to be Any kind of representation, not even by the actor. I’m just pointing out that he Does look and act and talk like a little gayman.

I will admit that he is Painfully Straight in the text of the show, but on a meta level he’s just. a dude who has a serious case of repressing his real personality. and taking it a step further- he also represses his feelings towards another man.

and that man is Odo.

a few things on him:

Odo is literally desperate to be a person. unlike Quark, who at least has the comfort of belonging to a society of people with a set of rules and expectations, Odo has never met anyone or anything like him in all his years of life.

like, we all know Odo basically grew up in a lab, right? 

with people who didn’t know anything about him. who he was so unalike that they literally called him “Nothing”

but he still learned to look and talk and act like them (because if he didn’t he’d feel *pain* which is very fucked up by the way?)

so we know for a fact that Odo wants to be recognised as a person- which is why he tries really hard to conform to the ideals of the society that raised him. instead of exploring his nature as a shape shifter he maintains a humanoid form, picks up a job and creates an entire personality around what he wants to be seen as. but not what he really is.

and that's the thing that causes all the conflict between Quark and Odo. the type of person odo wants to be seen as is the polar opposite of whatever the fuck quark wants to be seen as.

In the same way that Quark acts like a Normal Ferengi, Odo acts like a Normal Security Officer.  and in a cruel twist of fate, the Ferengi happens to be the antithesis of the Security Officer.

If you only look at them as the things they act like, and not the things they are, you might say they’re way too different to like each other, right? 

but,,, if you think about the fact that they’re both putting on this act,,, this performance of idealised versions of themselves,,, you can see that they are The Same. They Are Both Gay Repressed Loser Aliens Who Try To Act Like Things That They Aren’t!

Imagine you’re Odo. 

Imagine that you’re Nothing, because you’re not like anything anyone has ever seen- and because you are Nothing you don’t fall in love with anyone for years and years. since who could love something that isn’t like them at all?

But then one day this Thing shows up in your path and you just hate it. Because it’s not like anything *you* have ever seen. It’s disorderly and looks grotesque and it’s criminal to boot.

It’s all the things you learned would make a “Bad Person” It’s everything you aspire not to be, because if you were any of those things you would BE PUNISHED.

But the trouble is, eventually he’s not an “it” anymore, he’s “Quark” and you see him every day of your miserable little life because you live on the same damn station in space and it’s hard to avoid each other.

He also happens to be one of the only things in your life that are constant. He will never leave because he is stubborn and greedy and you just *hate him so much* that you’re convinced he must be doing all of it to spite you. And yet you also can’t seem to leave him alone.

So Odo Must Hate Quark. everything else is a non sequitur for him. he can’t not hate Quark.

because Quark is, and i’m sincerely sorry to apply christian fucking imagery to this, The Forbidden Fruit.

If he liked quark he’d admit some kind of moral failing. it would be the end of his act. but on the other hand...it might be a good thing, because at least he could have quark.

but Odo can never go through with biting into this apple because the consequences are horrifying to him. he could never have quark because, according to his performance, he would Never like quark to begin with.

and here’s a take for you: Odo's Brand Of Internalised Homophobia Doesn't Stem From Heteronormativity. It Stems From The Fact That He Was Kind Of Assigned Asexual At Birth.

and the show sort of alludes to this, for real! not just subtext! canon! except the writers used the wrong person. 

because instead of Odo having these Forbidden Feelings for Quark he has them for,,, Kira.

but since this is My Quodo Manifesto you’ll understand that i am 100% willing to just toss that part of canon out the airlock.

so Odo does canonically have that mindset of “no one could ever love me”  for decades he repressed any and all feelings of love to avoid getting hurt. in the show he breaks this cycle of repression when he takes a chance and enters a relationship with Kira. yay?

but we all know that aint it chief. and part of the reason why That Ship Ain’t It is the fact that Quark is Right There. and he is simply the more interesting choice for odo.

he and Odo literally share the same problem and have weird intertwined character arcs! they are both dreadfully afraid of not conforming to the ideal versions of themselves, so they reject everything that could challenge their Performance!

on some fucked up level they hate each other *and* themselves individually. and this hatred makes them reject parts of their real identities for the sake of protecting their image. which. yknow. in gay people. is internalised homophobia!

so you can see that they’re both repressing A Lot even if you view them as Friends, but the most important thing in this kind of romantic dynamic is usually,,, when the characters *stop* repressing.

and the thing is. the thing that Kills Me with these two. They Never Get That Moment. Thats Why You Need The Brainrot To See Them As Romantic.

The Ascent gives us an example of what happens when they both take their act too far. I mean, who could forget “Fascist!” and “Fraud!” That is what odo thinks of quark’s performance and vice versa, but we don’t really hear them adress the fact that they *are* playing these roles to a ridiculous extent.

We also never get an example of what would happen if they dropped their act instead of over-performing it. or rather we don’t get to see both of them drop it.

And the reason why we never get that moment is because there’s this one key difference between Quark and Odo. 

Quark knows that he’s constantly repressing his true nature and his feelings for odo. We pretty much hear him say so in the iconic root beer scene in Way Of The Warrior. he knows that he’s not a good ferengi but he keeps up his act.

So quark is aware enough to feel that sweet sweet self loathing. But Odo isnt self loathing as much as he is just self sabotaging.

and this subtle difference between them is why, at the very end of the show, we get “That man loves me, can’t you see? It was written all over his back!”

this moment is quark dropping his act and asking odo to do the same. he wants to hear a genuine Goodbye from him because they have known each other for Decades and they are Friends. but odo is so unable to express the feelings he’s been repressing all these years. that he self sabotages again and just walks away.

even though this is like. very anticlimactic. considering I just spent 2000 words talking about how Odo and Quark are Most Certainly Gay For Each Other.

The fact that their ending is so Weird is the reason why quodo is so engaging and appealing to me? especially post-canon quodo.

like, the amount of “what if’s” this ship has are Astounding.

What if either of them had dropped their act a little sooner? What if they both did, for just a moment, and it was the straw that breaks the camels back?

What if Odo comes back after a few years? What if Quark comes to get him?

What if, in that moment in the finale where Quark drops his act, Odo had returned the gesture? What if Gag-Reel Quodo Kiss.gif Real?

with the depth that I read into their relationship, those what ifs are really fun to think about.

anyway its 1 am and i’m not an english major so literary analysis is not like, my strong suit. plus most of this was written in a late night screaming session with a friend who has the exact same opinions as me. i just think aliens hot and in love. thats all.