#but it may have been in autumn 2021

[unendingphantasm]

i know mikudayo is an entire joke on it but man. all of the early miku nendoroids look really off

[simgerale]

it’s a beautiful fall morning

[spockandawe]

And finally, the big conclusion! When I was planning to not really binderary, getting copies of these books was my big goal. And then when I did binderary after all, I, uh, ended up with two sets of two books. And let's not even talk about how late these are in the grand scheme of things, these have been in my plans for literal years, and I originally intended to get them done well before official translations started releasing (I'm doing great!!). But here they are! Thousand Autumns and Peerless! TWICE!!!!

Okay. Okay. So here's the thing. These books are long. Thousand Autumns is something like 450k, and Peerless is closer to 550k. I hate splitting cnovels. I didn't want to sand instead of trimming. I wanted to keep these books as pairs (because Peerless has my favorite danmei ship of all time, but doesn't hit as hard without the Thousand Autumns context, and EVERYTHING hits less hard without knowing that yan wushi is out there. existing.)

These goals are not terribly well aligned with the facts! The facts are that those are awfully big books to fit into a single volume, if I want to use my guillotine! This is another driving force behind my small text theme of the month. It made the typesets a goddamn nightmare, and my initial copies of the books were done on half-legal paper, which I've never done before and may never do again. I finished those, and those are... big, heavy books. Not super portable. Time to see if my eyes are good for four point georgia, and spoilers, they ARE.

Set one, the large set, I wanted to use more of my snake leather. I had this GORGEOUS purple and green and black iridescent hide that i was determined to use, and fortunately I had just enough of the perfect fabric to pair with it.

But.... meanwhile, I've been buying peacock fabrics since 2021 for the sake of Feng Xiao. I had to use at least ONE of them! Fortunately, I've hoarded enough fabric that I was able to find a nice harmonious floral fabric to cover thousand autumns, and then had a nice duo bookcloth to make spines for them both! These books are quarter-legal, and the font is genuinely SO small, but still, pleasantly readable for me, my favorite customer 😂

These books were SO MUCH work to typeset snd bind, but I'm still so excited about how both sets came out! Because of my own impatience with repeating myself like, literally two days later, i redid a number of decorative elements in the typeset as well as the binding. Different chapter headers, different dividers, totally different vibes for the endpapers! This was a big project to ask from myself in such short order, especially when I was starting to flirt with burnout, but I genuinely couldn't be happier with the results :D

[margareth-lv]

Sam and Caitriona have one child. ONE. Please stop.

Has there been a revolution on the Dark Side of Power? Has Anti-Land overthrown its former masters? Why the sudden change of story? According to the official version so far, wasn't the father of the child born in August 2021 by chance PA aka 🧛🏻‍♂️?

Anyway, great! I'm happy about the change.

Unfortunately, I can't admit that you're right, Anonymous, about the number of Sam and Caitríona's children. I don't know how many they have. They have not invited me to visit them. I have not had the opportunity to see for myself the exact number of little Hoohans.

But a bit of material stored in my dark vaults suggests that there may be more than one child.

See for yourself.

Season 1 vs season 3. How do you interpret this change of body?

🍼

*** *** ***

Season 4. What has happened here? Bloating? Indigestion?

🤰🏻

*** *** ***

Why did the belly grow instead of shrinking after birth (autumn 2021)?

👩🏻‍🍼

*** *** ***

Finally, who is the little boy on the right?

❓

PS. I promise not to stop, no matter what you mean by "please stop". Yours sincerely,

margareth. 🩷 [December 5, 2023]

[nejis-desk]

Jack Jeanne Complete Collection - Interview with Ishida Sui and Towada Shin Translation

This interview is from the Jack Jeanne Complete Collection art book, it’s available on CDJapan and Amazon jp. You can also purchase a digital only version on bookwalker jp. I encourage anyone reading to purchase the game (if you haven't already) or the art book itself to support Ishida and Towada directly. 💕

This is a VERY long interview so I apologise for any typos or errors I may have missed.

~ ~ ~

An interview with Ishida Sui and Towada Shin, who both worked on writing the story of Jack Jeanne. In this interview they reveal what went on behind the scenes during production, rejected story ideas and much more. This interview was conducted remotely on the 9th of February 2021.

Interviewer: Yui Kashima

How did Ishida Sui end up making an otome game?

—How did the production of Jack Jeanne begin?

Ishida: It was sometime around Autumn 2015 I think… On an old personal site that I used to run, I received an email from the company Broccoli to an email address that I no longer use. It was a commission request for character designs.

—In 2015 Tokyo Ghoul was still being serialised wasn’t it?

Ishida: Yes. Usually job offers like that go through Shueisha first, so I contacted my editor asking why this one was sent to my private email…  At the time, in addition to working on Tokyo Ghoul, I was also drawing illustrations for a tear-off calendar and very busy with various other things, so when my editorial department heard about the offer they seemed very shocked like "What!?".

—Why did you decide to accept the offer even though you were so busy?

Ishida: I would often receive offers asking for me to draw manga or illustrations, so I figured that this one was a similar case. However, some words in the email caught my eye. Like ‘Gender Swap’, ‘Takarazuka’ and ‘All Boys Opera'. When I saw these concept ideas, a dream began to swell in my chest and I felt like giving it a try.

I think if it had just been a normal character design job, I would have turned it down. However just from reading the short brief in the email my interest was piqued. While in discussions with the Young Jump editorial department, I also casually mentioned the kind of offer I’d received to Towada-san.

Towada: Yeah, Ishida-san asked me for some advice. I was also drawn to the ‘Gender Swap’ and ‘Opera’ concepts. I could easily visualise the setting of the story. Additionally, it seemed like it would be a story that included many different themes such as gender. When I thought about that, I figured that Ishida-san would be a good fit, since I knew he would be able to draw something that went beyond all genders.

Ishida: I’ve been drawing androgynous characters for a long time, so Towada-san and I talked and wondered if that's what they must be looking for. After that, I created my own proposal and submitted it to Broccoli.

—You created your own proposal, Ishida-san?

Ishida: When I looked at the original proposal that Broccoli had sent me, a lot of it differed from my personal tastes. It was a very upbeat and dazzling story. It would’ve been hard for me to match my art style to that, so in my proposal I noted things like ‘if it were me, I’d do something more like this’. I was interested in this unpolished gem of a story, so I thought it would be a waste to turn it down altogether. I wanted to at least try throwing my own ideas into the ring, so I spent a week creating the six main characters and sent them in.

—At that time, I heard that the game wasn’t titled ‘Jack Jeanne’ yet, but was instead called ‘Jiemarie’.

Ishida: At first, I wanted to try creating a word that doesn’t exist. So using French as a base, I came up with ‘Jiemarie’ as the game's provisional title. But then a month later when I was reconsidering the title, I looked at it again and thought, damn this looks lame. So I hurriedly called Towada-san on Skype and we entered a discussion that lasted about ten hours over what the title should be.

That’s when we decided on ‘Jack Jeanne’. The male roles take the name from the knight, or the ‘Jack’ in a deck of playing cards. And the female roles ‘Jeanne’ take from the word parisienne and Jeanne d’Arc. When these two terms are put together, I feel like you can comprehend what the game is about with a bit of nuance. Plus you can shorten it to ‘JJ’… That’s also the title of a magazine though (lol).

—Taking on another job whilst your manga was being serialised sounds like it would be tough on you both physically and mentally.

Ishida: I think I must’ve been a bit unwell (lol). My body was fine, but being able to work on something other than a serialised manga was a lot easier on me mentally. I may have seen it as a way to escape, so I didn’t feel that working on two projects at the same time was difficult. When it comes to game development, I can only create what I’m capable of, and there was no set release date yet. Of course, I would work on and submit things whenever I could though.

—What kind of things would you submit?

Ishida: I would sketch character designs, discuss and create story elements with Towada-san and try to put Univeils history into chronological order. Then I would share the progress with Broccoli and have meetings and such with them. In the beginning, rather than having to draw anything yet, it was mostly just brainstorming and planning. That’s why I think I was able to do it all concurrently with the serialisation of my manga. 

~ ~ ~

How Ishida Sui and Towada Shin know each other

—Do you chat with Towada-san often?

Ishida: Well yeah, she is my older sister after all.

Towada: We talk a lot. When we both have the time we chat over Skype.

Ishida: Once we start the conversation can last up to five or six hours. We mostly talk about things that happened throughout our day. When I’m talking to someone I often bring up something that’s happened to me and ask their opinion on it. She became someone that I could chat with whilst working on my manga. Ever since my student days we’d talk until early morning, I usually told her about storyboards I’d drawn.

—At the Ishida Sui exhibition it was revealed that Towada-san had even given you advice on some of your earliest works.

Ishida: Yeah that’s right. It was a work I’d prepared for a 'bring your own work along' induction course in Tokyo that I attended back in my student days. It was a manga about two characters who eventually became the prototypes for Tsukiyama and Hori Chie in Tokyo Ghoul. It was only about 30 pages long, however when I showed it to Towada-san the day before the presentation, she told me that she thought my linework was too thin.

Towada: Yeah, the overall linework of the manga was thinly drawn. Once I told Ishida-san this thought, he began tracing over his linework and making it thicker. And then when he looked at it again, he said “Yep, I need to redraw the whole thing”.

The linework being too thin was only my personal opinion and the presentation was in Tokyo the next day, so in horror, I began hastily telling him, “You won’t make it in time, stop, stop!”

Ishida: All I could think about was that the lines really were too thin, so I wanted to redraw it. All of the screentones had already been affixed to the panels, but I didn’t want to bring something along with me whilst knowing it wasn’t the best that it could be.

Towada: Ishida-san handled the linework and I helped with redoing the screentones. We worked throughout the night and finished redrawing the whole manuscript. Once it was done, it wasn’t even comparable to the previous version, the lines were powerful and the characters' expressions conveyed a lot. I was seriously worried though (lol), I didn’t know if we’d complete it in time.

Ishida: I couldn’t think about anything other than the lines being too thin, so I wasn’t even worried about whether I had enough time or not.

Towada: I fell asleep halfway through, but you continued and boarded that Tokyo bound flight without having slept a wink, didn’t you?

Ishida: Yeah. I let Towada-san sleep and continued applying the screentones myself right up until the very last minute. I was still applying them whilst on the plane and also after my arrival in Tokyo. I used screentone number 10 a lot, so I remember the scenery around me gradually began to look grainy like the screentone. It felt as though I was hallucinating.

—Sounds like it was a tough manuscript to complete. Towada-san was also the author for the Tokyo Ghoul novels, has your relationship always been one akin to work partners?

Ishida: When it was decided that Tokyo Ghoul would be getting a novelisation, I was given other authors' works to look at. However, none of their styles really clicked with me, and they didn’t seem right for the series. I knew that Towada-san wrote, so I tried reaching out to her.

Although back in the days of Tokyo Ghoul’s serialisation, Towada-san and I didn’t talk as much as we do now. If I had any concerns I would just try and sort them out by myself. We’d always gotten along as brother and sister, however we didn’t really start to have a ‘work partners’ kind of relationship until we started working on Jack Jeanne together.

Towada: That’s true. Back then, we only occasionally conversed regarding the novelisation of Tokyo Ghoul. Before :re we only spoke once every few months over Skype. As Ishida-san said, it wasn’t until I started working on Jack Jeanne that we really started properly talking to one another.

—How often would you contact each other?

Towada: Depending on what stage we were at, we would bounce ideas off each other once every three or so days. Ishida-san would make a request like “I’d be happy if this part of the script was done within the next two weeks.” And then I’d present what I’d written and we’d discuss it and then I’d return to writing again. This process was repeated until Jack Jeanne reached its completion.

—Was Ishida-san the one that reached out to Towada-san to write the script of Jack Janne?

Towada: He didn’t ask me specifically to write the script, early in development he’d ask me to help with some research like “I’d like you to look up some information on this, could you help me?”. I’ve always liked ikusei games and within that genre I also enjoy romance and otome games. So I think that’s why it was easy for Ishida-san to consult me about it. We’ve had a common interest in games ever since we were kids.

Ishida: Back then I played games like ‘Pinnochia no Miru Yume’ and ‘Angelique’. I wanted to try and conquer Marcel in Angelique but it was one difficult game, so it was a tough task. Before I could even raise any flags with him, the training aspect of the game was so hard that no matter how many times I played I never got any good at it.

Towada: I’m the type that loves playing games, so after talking with Ishida-san, I went on to play every popular otome game that had been released around 2015, as well as every Broccoli published otoge. I completed every single character route in those games. I began analysing otome game trends and Broccoli’s brand identity and relayed my findings to Ishida-san. After that, I went along with the Jack Jeanne production team and Makasano Chuuji-san from Shueisha, who was the scriptwriter of the Tokyo Ghoul anime. We all visited the city of Takarazuka for research.

Ishida: I was also supposed to be there for the Takarazuka trip but since I had my manga to worry about, I had Towada-san go and take in the atmosphere in my place.

Towada: I did have to gather material but I think I visited Takarazuka a total of five or six times. From morning I would watch the Takarazuka theatre from afar and simply watch the guests move about, soaking in the atmosphere of the city.

Along with the Takarazuka plays, I also watched student plays, in total I probably went and watched one hundred shows. Theatre shows that are performed by professionals are fully realised and flawless. So getting to see the contrast to student plays, where they progress and improve until the show is complete was a very helpful reference.

I’ve always enjoyed watching plays, so everything I had to research overlapped with my own hobbies. I still shared my own input with Ishida-san though.

Ishida: I’d never formally been asked to write a script before… I felt like a fraud (lol). I think it’s because I’m not very good at being considerate of other people. I don’t think I’d be able to work with anyone other than Towada-san on something.

—Why is that?

Ishida: Well, for one I don’t want to talk to anyone for long periods of time (lol). Because Towada-san understands what aspects of a story are important to me, she’s also able to comprehend what I mean when I talk in abstract concepts. We could save time by not needing to have any pointless discussions.

Towada: Back then Ishida-san was still very busy publishing his manga, so bringing in all sorts of new people to work on the project probably would’ve put quite the burden on him. That’s why I wanted to help him out in some way.

After researching all sorts of things, I ended up participating in a production meeting for Jack Jeanne, but I was not expecting that I myself would end up being in charge of writing the script. Rather, I was more just looking forward to getting to play a game made by Ishida-san. As things progressed though, I was asked to try plotting things out, or to write part of the script to be used temporarily. Eventually I came to think, why don’t I just write the scenario myself?

I’d never written the script for a game before though, so that’s what had been holding me back. Unlike novels, it’s commonplace to not have to write descriptively. Novels are made up of dialogue and descriptions, like describing the setting and characters' expressions or emotions. So I had to spend a lot of time working out how to write to properly convey a story through dialogue alone.

When I first started getting the hang of it, I tried writing a script that still included descriptions but I quickly stopped. Jack Jeanne is about theatre, so I figured that it would be easier to convey the presence and narrative of the story through conversation. I usually write novels, so I was uncertain, but since Jack Jeanne has sprites of the characters on screen, I thought that I could do it. I suppose it’s closer to writing for a manga rather than a novel.

~ ~ ~

The rejected character routes

—Before Tokyo Ghoul was completed, what kind of things did you work on?

Ishida: The first two years were mostly spent creating the game’s world and mechanics. Like deciding how many performances there would be, how the plays would be presented. Would it be a dialogue drama? Would there be mini games? Things like that. We also had to decide whether summer break would be included or not, how raising affection would work and how the choices would be presented. Those are the sort of things that were talked about first.

—You got to watch over the entire game’s development then.

Ishida: At first, I got carried away and envisioned a stage play game full of skill mechanics that I personally enjoyed. A busy game full of specs you can raise and improve in mini games, however when I explained these details to a friend of mine, they were like “You’re just imagining a game that you would like, right?”.

They asked me if that’s what the eventual players of Jack Jeanne would be looking for. That same friend said that since it’s a story that deals with the theme of theatre, it would be better if the player could witness the performances themselves. So I took that advice and the prototype of the current Jack Jeanne was created. I told all of this to Towada-san and had her handle the script.

Towada: You can’t write a script without knowing how the game’s system works after all.

Ishida: Now that I think about it, before Tokyo Ghoul was finished, rather than build the game's foundation, all I was really doing was scattering the sand to prepare for said foundation.

When Tokyo Ghoul entered its endgame especially, I really had to concentrate on it, so I took a six month break from Jack Jeanne. Ending a story requires a lot of energy and attention, so I left the practical work of Jack Jeanne to Towada-san and only supervised the music production and attended any important meetings.

—So during serialisation you were making preparations to jump right into it afterwards?

Ishida: Yes exactly. I wasn’t able to do much practical work, so I had Towada-san prepare the script in advance for me. And for the time being, create one character route.

—Which character was it?

Towada: It was Shirota. I wrote about the equivalent length of a short book and it was more or less complete. In the end, we scrapped the entire thing though… Because the atmosphere in the beginning was quite dark.

Ishida: It was dark because I was too used to Tokyo Ghoul. It included issues like a troubled household and severe bullying. Reading something like that wouldn’t put the player in a happy mood.

Despite it being a story about the theatre, my attention drifted to other topics which didn’t fit. And it was me who had asked Towada-san to write something like that… A couple months after the Shirota route had been completed, I read over what Towada-san had written for me once again and realised that it was a bit too gloomy. I’d forgotten what prompt I’d even given to her in the first place (lol).

The first character portraits and CGs that I created were for Shirota too. The reason being that Shirota is the only second year student and he was already a complete individual, so he was easy to create for. As for the third year students, there’s three of them, Fumi, Kai and Neji. Along with Kisa, Suzu and Yonoga are also first years, so continuity and character relationships need to be taken into account in order to create them, so they were a little more complex.

—How did the other characters come to be?

Ishida: At the proposal stage, the first character that I created was Kai. It’s a game where characters will be falling in love and confessing to one another, so first off I wanted a character that was handsome. Then I made Fumi who would be Kai’s partner. After that, I think Shirota was next.

Towada: At first you created the characters by basing them on plays didn’t you?

Ishida: I’m a fan of Yamamoto Shugoro’s work ‘Kikuchiyosho’ so Shirota was created using that as a base. In Shirota's case the genders are swapped, but Kikuchiyosho is a story about a girl who is born into a samurai family and raised as a boy. It has an element of androgyny and portrays the confusion and anger concerning gender quite well.

—How did you select the plays to base the characters on?

Ishida: I chose plays that lots of people are familiar with and would be easy to assign characters to. Kai is ‘The Phantom of the Opera’, Fumi is ‘Salome’, Neji is ‘Faust’ and Yonoga is ‘Shintokumaru’. Kisa and her classmate Ootori are ‘Don Quixote’. Ootori ended up becoming a side character though.

—So Ootori was originally meant to be a main character?

Ishida: Yeah. If I were to compare it to Tokyo Ghoul, Ootori is in the same position as Tsukiyama. I wanted a pompous character like that in Quartz. However I may have made him a little too unique (lol).

I received feedback from Broccoli that they want the main six characters to be an elite group, so a more easy to approach character would be better. So I moved the bright and cheerful character that I had originally made as Onyx’s Jack Ace over. That character was Suzu.

Making the characters personifications of plays started to become difficult to stick with though, so I abandoned the idea entirely halfway through.

—Despite appearing glamorous, the characters are all dealing with their own issues, like certain complexes and family troubles. I think that they’re all conflicts that are easy to sympathise with, how did you decide what the backbone of each character's conflict would be?

Ishida: First I created the character's appearance and then decided what personality would match them. Like with Fumi, when I began to think about making his story about the unique struggles that come with being born into a respected family, if becoming a successor was going to come into question, then he needed to have a brother.

In this way, I worked backwards from the vibe of his appearance and created his home life. I did the same with the other characters too, thinking things like ‘to have a personality like this they must not have parents, or they must struggle with expressing themselves’.

I think that if you let your characters do human-like things, then aspects of them that are easy to sympathise with will be born.

Jealousy, setbacks due to failure, inferiority complexes… Each and every character naturally ended up having some form of theme attached to them.

—I feel as though Kisa had a different sort of personality than that of a typical heroine.

Ishida: To put it simply, I want my protagonists to be fighting something. If they’re not giving it their all, then it’s no good. If they’re just standing around, then you can’t empathise with them.

—There’s times where she draws others towards her or supports those around her. She also has some masculine aspects to her.

Ishida: I think that I’m moved by characters who make me think “This kid’s really admirable”. That’s why I made Kisa a girl who works hard no matter the difficult situation that she’s in. I like Kisa and I’m sure Towada-san feels the same way.

Towada: She’s the result of both of our preferences. While due to the game’s setting, she of course has struggles related to being a girl, but I was careful to write the main thread of her story in a way that transcended gender and instead simply showed her charm as a human being.

—Regarding gender, I was impressed by how neutrally it was portrayed.

Ishida: Yes. Originally, I was going to make Shirota a character with a feminine personality, but I ended up scrapping the idea. In the end, he ended up having more of a masculine mentality. The premise of Jack Jeanne is that boys also play the female roles on stage, but it’s not a metaphor for anything and I didn’t want it to raise any questions. I simply wanted to give it my all creating plays with that setting and create something new and refreshing.

I don’t struggle with any gender related issues myself, so it’s not like I can fully understand what it’s like, but in general I’ve never considered gender to be a very big deal. If someone born male were to tell me “I have the heart of a woman” then I’d just think ‘ok cool’.

To me it feels strange to place so much weight on such an issue. I don't see why others need to be bothered by someone else's gender, I'm not since I myself am not able to speak for such experiences.

Towada: At first, it was possible to take that direction with Shirota but as I continued to write, I came to realise that there was no need to exaggerate any emphasis on his gender identity.

To those looking from an outside perspective, it may seem like a unique identity such as that is a person's defining trait, when in reality it's only just a portion of their whole self. If you consider it to be all they are, then you end up denying the other aspects of that person.

Whilst considering the individually of each character, I kept in mind to write them in a way that seemed natural for them.

—The side character, Tanakamigi Chui of Amber, had a very striking presence. How did you go about creating him?

Ishida: I wanted someone that’s easily understood to be the antagonist, so I went ahead and tried to draw someone who looked like an unstoppable genius. Despite being a second year, it’s as if he controls the school. I wanted an enigmatic and intriguing character like that. Once I named him Tanakamigi Chui I felt as though he was complete and his inclusion in the story was quickly decided on.

—On the flip side, were there any characters that you had a hard time creating?

Ishida: I had to think a little harder about the other members of Amber. They needed to have the aura of the enemy but since they’re only villains in the context of the stage, they’re not actually bad people. So it was hard to find that balance between them.

Visually they’re edgy and have a talented vibe, but they also have their own individual quirks, they’re not all homogeneous. I struggled with Kamiya Utsuri especially, I wanted him to visually look like he could be a Jeanne while also still looking like a boy, so it was difficult to get him right. I didn’t have to do many redesigns though and all the other characters came to be without much trouble.

What I actually had more trouble with, was the fact I made the cast too large. I initially created almost double the amount of first year characters, but when I looked back over the script that Towada-san created, I told her “There’s way too many characters, please cut some of them out.” To which Towada-san replied, “Ishida-san, you’re the one who created them in the first place.” (lol).

Towada: That’s because the cut characters had already appeared in the script (lol).

Ishida: I feel that when there’s too many characters a lot of them get wasted, so just like that I end up creating and scrapping a lot of my characters. I think even Broccoli were surprised by the amount of times I’d suddenly tell them “Oh that character doesn’t exist anymore.”

—Apart from characters, were there any other aspects of the game that were abruptly discarded?

Ishida: The performances I suppose… Originally I had wanted there to be a larger variety of shows, but if you were to put all of them in the script it probably would’ve ended up being three million characters long.

In the beginning of development, I had originally planned for each character's route to have a different final performance. There’s six main characters, and including Kisa’s route, that would total to seven unique shows.

Before that there’s the newcomers, summer, autumn and winter performances, so I arranged to have a script written for each. Basically I wanted to include more shows and increase the amount of sub stories, but that would be confusing to play through and development would never end. The game engine has its limits too, so I decided to keep it simple.

Towada: It would’ve been difficult to play through all that as well (lol). For the final performance, we settled on it being one show and letting the player enjoy it from each character’s perspective instead. And even then, there’s still over 20 different endings to the game, so it still took a long time until everything was fully complete.

—Newcomers, summer, autumn, winter and the final performance, were these five show’s scripts all original?

Towada: Yes. However at first, like the characters, we had planned to base them on famous productions. Like Shakespeare or fairy tales. We figured that players would find it easy to get immersed in plays that they were already familiar with.

Ishida: For the newcomers' performance, I thought we could have a show called ‘House of Biscuits and Candy’ based on Hansel and Gretel. I had also originally planned to use each character's motif to base the plays on.

Towada: Like Shintokumaru, right?

Ishida: Yeah yeah. I even went as far as getting permission to use it, but if the show were to be following a story that already exists, then the script would be bound to it. Once I understood that it would make it difficult to relate the stories to Univeil, we decided to create the plays ourselves.

Since I acquired the permission to adapt Shintokumaru though, maybe I’ll have to make a manga about it someday…

By the way, the one who was saying “Let’s do this” and then changing it to “Nevermind let’s not” was all me. I’ll start on something wholeheartedly thinking that it’s the right choice before realising halfway through that I can’t actually take it anywhere and stop. Jack Jeanne’s development was full of trial and error.

Whenever I’m about to start something, Towada-san will express her concerns with my ideas but I always end up pushing on with them only to ultimately scrap it.

I probably have at least ten books worth of scrapped drafts alone. I had no real knowledge of how to properly craft a story. I hadn’t drawn anything other than Tokyo Ghoul, so even though I had no idea what the fundamentals of storytelling were, I misunderstood that I could write other kinds of stories too. This time around I studied and revised each time… I really learnt a lot.

Towada: You learn things by doing them, so I think I just got used to it (lol). Also, you don’t commonly see stories presented within stories, I thought that it was a rare case for a game especially.

~ ~ ~

The story behind ‘Lyrics: Ishida Sui’

—You also wrote the lyrics for each of the songs used in the performances didn’t you, Ishida-san?

Ishida: Yes, that’s how things ended up. It goes without saying, but no one, including myself, thought that I’d be the one writing the lyrics.

Originally Broccoli brought in several professional lyricists and had me look over what they’d written. However I couldn’t help but feel that they were lyrics I’d heard somewhere before, or they at least didn’t leave a unique impression on me. I did feel the finesse of a professional, and they were beautiful lyrics that fit the story in one way or another… But the words used didn’t touch on the core of the story. 

The songs in Jack Jeanne are stage songs that Neji wrote for the members of Quartz. So unless you’re familiar with the setting and understand how the characters are feeling, then you won’t be able to write lyrics that perfectly fit the scenario.

While I knew that my lyric writing technique would be far from that of a professionals, I thought that no one understands and loves these characters more than me, so I approached Broccoli about it. I’d poured my heart into not only the character designs, but also the story and system of the game, so I didn’t want to compromise on the lyrics and have them pale in comparison.

So, to the best of my ability, I wanted to at least try my hand at writing them. I had Broccoli check whether or not what I’d written was viable and asked them “If there are no problems, then please let me write the lyrics.”

—Did you sing the temporary vocals for the songs too?

Ishida: When I submitted the lyrics to Broccoli, I got the normal response of “Thank you, we’ll leave the temporary vocals to you.” Along with this message they also wrote “You can hire a professional vocalist if you’d like, or you could record the temporary vocals yourself.”

Because of this I started thinking that maybe I should record them myself. Similar to how one wouldn’t be able to write lyrics for the songs without a deep understanding of the story, if you weren’t the one who wrote the lyrics, you wouldn’t know how they’re supposed to be sung either.

So, after deciding that I had to be the one to do it, I made preparations to acquire some audio recording equipment and downloaded some editing software. I divided up the parts and harmonised with myself and over the course of three days, I finished recording the temporary vocals. That’s more or less how I did it.

—When recording yourself singing, being self conscious about it can interfere, can’t it?

Ishida: I don’t think I was possessed by him or anything, but… When I tried to go all out, as expected I felt a bit hesitant, so I began recording whilst imagining I was Neji.

In the game, Neji is the one who writes the scripts, so surely he would also write the lyrics and subdivide the song and do everything himself. So I got through it thinking like that. In that pumped up mental state, I sent in the temporarily recorded songs but all Broccoli said back was “Alright, let us know your upcoming schedule”, I got so carried away that I was somewhat bewildered by the cold response (lol).

~ ~ ~

Recruiting via DM, gathering specifically selected creators

—It appears the creators you gathered to handle things such as the concept art and music are all people whose work you enjoy.

Ishida: Yes. Almost everyone was sent a targeted offer. For example, I’ve always loved the concept artist Lownine-san’s work ever since I was a student. I suppose you could say I was jealous of how high quality their artwork is… They’re someone who I thought I'd never be able to beat in my entire life. Lownine-san is an amazing artist who is especially good at blending characters into their backgrounds.

When we were creating Jack Jeanne, I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to pull something like that off, so I definitely wanted to recruit Lownine-san for the job. After getting permission from Broccoli, I reached out to Lownine-san myself through Twitter DM’s. I had only appreciated Lownine-san’s work from afar, and we’d never actually interacted before, but we did both follow each other. I received a reply that Lownine-san was fully on board to accept the job.

Towards the end of Jack Jeanne’s development, I got the chance to speak with Lownine-san, so I asked them “Could you teach me how to draw?” They gladly accepted this request and taught me how to draw whilst screen sharing over Skype. However, in about 10 minutes, they’d already drawn such an amazing piece that I felt I should just put my pen down (lol).

Towada: You were a little down after that, weren’t you?

—Had you been a fan of Kosemura-san, who was in charge of music, since you were a student as well?

Ishida: Yes, I’ve listened to Kosemura-san’s music a lot since I was a student. When I was brainstorming what kind of music would fit Jack Jeanne, Kosemura-san’s ‘Light Dance’ immediately came to mind, since it fit perfectly. Because I didn’t have any personal connections to Kosemura-san however, I didn’t know how to get in contact with him, so I made the request through Broccoli. I only found out about this recently, but apparently Kosemura-san almost turned the offer down*, I was quite shocked to hear that (lol).

*When the initial request was sent, it was under wraps that the game was being made by Ishida Sui, and since Kosemura-san didn’t have much experience in writing game music, he wasn’t optimistic about the offer. However, later, when he learned that it was a game being made by Ishida Sui, he readily accepted the offer.

—How did Seishiro-san, who was in charge of the choreography, get chosen for the job?

Ishida: A very long time ago I saw the group Tokyo Gegegay appear on a program called DANCE @ HERO JAPAN and I remember thinking ‘this group is crazy good’ and I was immediately charmed by them. After that, whilst I was looking through more videos of Tokyo Gegegay on YouTube, I happened upon a studio workshop video and discovered Seishiro-san.

—What about him caught your eye?

Ishida: Whilst first and foremost his dancing was super sexy, it also had a certain strength to it. I remember thinking that he danced in a way that embraced the best elements of both masculinity and femininity. And that had stayed in my memory ever since. When Seishiro-san was recording motion capture for the game, he allowed me to interrupt and even taught me some of the choreography.

(note: you can watch Seishiro dance here, he is also the choreographer behind this RADWIMPS music video!)

—I hear you’ve known Gyudon-san, who was in charge of making the movies, since your Tokyo Ghoul days. 

Ishida: Yes. Around the time volume 13 of Tokyo Ghoul was set to be released, we held a still image MAD (Music Anime Douga) contest. The grand prize winner of said contest was Gyudon-san, who at the time was still only a student. The way they made a video by manipulating the manga panels to move so fluidly was really cool and stood out from the rest. 

Around when Tokyo Ghoul had ended and :re was about to start, I had Gyudon-san make a minute long video for me. After that, Gyudon-san grew in popularity and became someone whose work is in high demand, so they seemed very busy.

However when Jack Jeanne was announced, we were able to have them create a promotional video for us. Since I’ve known them since Tokyo Ghoul, I figured I couldn’t go wrong entrusting the job to Gyudon-san. They didn’t just deliver their finished work without a word either, Gyudon-san also made a variety of suggestions and worked on the project with a positive attitude. For the videos used in the performances, I was asked to provide materials and became very involved in the process. I think it took about two weeks… Despite the really tight deadline, Gyudon-san allowed me to catch up and was super helpful.

I was also the one who reached out to Touyama Maki-san, who was in charge of creating the in-game chibi characters and the 4koma manga used for promotional purposes. During Tokyo Ghoul’s publication, Touyama-san would draw short comics for the series as a hobby, I thought they were a nice person for doing so. Their art was great too and I was very thankful. So when it was decided that we’d be displaying chibi characters during the game’s lesson segments, I wanted to leave it to Touyama-san and sent them the offer.

(note: this is the MAD that gyudon won the contest with, they now regularly make moving manga CM's for jump titles, they make the Choujin X ones too!)

~ ~ ~

The winter performance moves into Quartz’s ending, and the divergence in the story since the beginning of the year drastically branches off

—The performances, packed full of each of the character’s skills, continue for a year and pass by in the blink of an eye. Once the new year breaks, it feels as though the atmosphere of the game drastically changes. What were your intentions behind this?

Towada: That’s when the character route specific endings begin. So we packed all the needed material to set them up into the winter performance.

Ishida: The winter performance is like an ending for Quartz as a whole, so we packed it full of good lines and scenes without holding back. I may have used up all of my cards but by using them all without compromise, we were able to make the story reach a nice peak. After that, the story switches to focusing on each character's individual ending.

Towada: We used a lot of great material in the winter performance, which meant the final performance would have to be even better still. In a good way, it gave us a higher hurdle that we now needed to overcome.

—So you needed to create even more anticipation heading into March?

Towada: From January to March, each character’s route is completely different. From the new year onwards I needed to create seven different scripts, so it was very challenging. The amount of text for the last three months of the game alone just about eclipses the amount of text from up until the winter performance. There was so much to write that I began to fear I wouldn’t even be able to finish it.

Ishida: Having more choices that drastically change the ending of the game makes the player feel more involved. So, despite it making things tougher on ourselves, around the time we were working on the autumn performance is when we began thinking about how the game’s big branches should work. Along with the main routes, we also planned for there to be the option to deepen your bonds with the side characters.

—How did you go about creating the confession scenes?

Towada: Before the winter performance, to some extent each character has already grown closer to Kisa, so I kept in mind not to disrupt that flow. Since if I didn’t make it a confession that respected both Kisa and her suitor’s feelings, then I felt it would spoil the fun.

—Is that how you approached the ‘realising Kisa’s a girl’ scenes as well?

Towada: Yes, I suppose so. As I was writing the script, I knew that a point was going to come where Kisa would have no choice but to acknowledge the fact that she’s a girl. There’s characters that realise her true gender once their bond deepens and on the flip side, there are some who don’t realise it at all. There’s also the case of Yonaga, who knew Kisa’s situation from the beginning. I guess you could say each reveal followed one of these three patterns. Those who came to realise it, those who didn’t notice anything and those who knew from the start. I think they ended up being nice variations and I put careful consideration into writing them to make sure none of the realisations felt forced.

Also, the beginning half of the story is akin to that of a sports drama about teenagers putting on shows together, so the room for romance to be added is limited. That’s why, when I first started adding romantic elements to the character routes, it felt strange to me, so I discussed it with Ishida-san. I wasn’t able to effortlessly soak the story in romance. I think I had to rewrite Shirota’s ending at least three times…

Ishida: Shirota was who you tried writing an ending for first after all.

Towada: Shirota and Kisa aren’t the sort of people who’d be all flirty, and Shirota’s initial route was already muddy, so it was difficult to pull everything together. However, once I stopped trying to write in a way that forced romance on them and instead wrote them becoming closer as partners, things went more smoothly.

It may not be a stereotypical sort of love, but it was a human love. I thought that the natural way these two would be drawn together wouldn’t be through whispering sweet nothings to one another, but instead by coming to understand one another without having to exchange words at all. Once I’d completed Shirota’s route, to some extent, I continued writing the other routes in a similar way.

Ishida: While it’s true Shirota acts like that, the other characters all act differently. To the point some aren’t even comparable. In contrast to Shirota, Suzu’s route ended up being more of your stereotypical kind of romance. I thought that it would be nice for each character to have their own unique form of love.

Towada-san’s strong suit is writing a love story with your more classic otome guys like Suzu and Kai. I have no idea about that kind of thing, so I left Towada-san to pour her own ideas into their routes. On the flip side, characters like Fumi and Neji were dyed more with my own ideas. Neji’s way of flirting especially were mostly lines that I requested.

Towada: He’d say “Make him say something like ‘Try seduce me!’ Because I want this CG to appear.” (lol).

Neji especially plays with his words a lot, so unless Ishida-san told me what wordplay to write, I wouldn’t have been able to expand on it. Ishida-san has a very unique way of phrasing things, so I asked him for advice a lot to make sure I was making Neji speak in a Neji-like way. I then arranged the lines and created events in order to reach the intended goal. I constructed the route in a way that wouldn’t disrupt the flow of the story. As for Fumi, Ishida-san wrote his route himself.

Ishida: Yes, I wrote it all myself.

—Well isn’t this quite the exciting plot twist?

Ishida: I turned into quite the young maiden myself (lol). Even though I’m clumsy at it… I began wondering why I ended up loving writing it so much. I added some lines that have more of an adult and deeper meaning to them, so when I played the route myself I was like “Woah!”.

Towada: It’s more interesting if at least one character is that way. From the early days of production, I’d quietly wanted Ishida-san to write a character himself, so I was happy. I was unsure how to deal with Fumi too, so it was a big help that Ishida-san took him on. His route ended up being a lot sweeter than I’d been expecting though, it got my heart racing (lol).

Ishida: I was also the main writer for Kisa’s solo route. There’s no romance in it, but it’s an ending where long lasting friendships are born and it ended up being the kind of story you’d see in an uplifting shoujo manga.

Towada: It’s full of Ishida-san’s flair, I loved it.

Ishida: If love is a lie, then how do you face that lie? That’s the sort of thing I thought about. Kisa is lying about her gender and pretending to be a boy, but Neji, Suzu, Fumi, Yonaga and so on, are also hiding lies within themselves.

The fact they’re all hiding their true motives is something that they have in common with Kisa. Whilst hiding, the two grow closer. I think that a confession is a scene where all these lies intersect and burst open. Everyone is lying, and I thought that was like a play, without realising it I think that slowly became the theme of the work. 

As people, we meet others whilst lacking something and some people end up becoming a necessary part for someone else. I wanted to see a drama like that. Despite it being a game with confession scenes, I wanted it to be a story that both women and men alike are able to identify with.

~ ~ ~

From thorns to rounded edges, how the style of work transformed 

—If there was a small novels worth of rejected material, then how many books worth of words made it into the final game?

Towada: In terms of paperback books, probably about twenty volumes worth.

—Because as well as the main scenario, there’s also the sub scenarios and the stage plays?

Ishida: As much as time allowed, I put my all into creating the game. However there was a deadline for things like the voiceline recordings, so I was working both day and night to get things done in time.

Towada: I was only getting around three hours of sleep. I feel like at one point Ishida-san didn’t sleep for four days.

Ishida: I was in a serious pinch so I don’t remember it well, but when I was writing the script I would hole myself up in a manga cafe for around thirty hours at a time. Multiple times a month. Once I felt as though I’d written to a good point, I’d go home only to return to the manga cafe again. Why? Because I was sleeping in the manga cafe. I mays well have been living there…

Towada: Once Ishida-san had finished writing his part of the script, he’d have me check it. So at the same time, I’d have Ishida-san check what I’d written.

Ishida: For a period of time it seemed like Towada-san was always awake. Whenever I would send a check request she always responded right away regardless of the time, so I figured she must not be sleeping.

So that my productivity wouldn’t be affected, I made sure to sleep at a regular time, however I’d be awake for like 30~40 hours at a time and then sleep for 10 and then be awake again for another 40. My sleeping patterns would repeat in this cycle. During Tokyo Ghoul’s serialisation my sleeping patterns were similar, so to some extent I might’ve gotten used to it.

—That’s just like Neji-senpai, isn’t it?

Ishida: Yeah yeah, I worked in a similar way to him. However in Neji’s case, he can complete a script just one day after coming up with the idea for it, so he works way faster than us. It took us around two months to write parts of the script, so Neji really is a genius isn’t he? I was writing whilst wishing I could be like Neji.

After experiencing writing a script, I’ve come to have a lot of respect for authors. Writing is completely different from drawing. When writing I need to really concentrate on it, I can’t multi-task or think about anything else. Whereas with drawing, there are some things that can be done as long as you can move your hand, so I can talk to someone whilst drawing or watch a movie in the background or work whilst thinking about other things. I can’t do that when I’m writing though, I was starting to wonder if I really had to think so deeply about everything I wrote.

—During the production of Jack Jeanne, as you worked on the script or the lyrics etc, did you notice any changes in how you worked?

Ishida: For Tokyo Ghoul, I was always consciously adding things, meaning I would draw everything that I came up with. I thought that it was fine to only put 20% of my output into the characters and dialogue. However, when I was working on Jack Jeanne, I began to think that my method of just adding things was incorrect and that I should also consciously remove things. It’s ok to just be left with what’s necessary. My way of thinking ended up being the exact opposite to before.

—What brought about this change in thinking?

Ishida: It was early in production, when I had asked Towada-san to write Shirota’s route for me, I got concerned about the ‘sharpness’ of the story. As I mentioned earlier, I ordered Towada-san to add this and that and sent her walking on a long journey. Except, what lay completed at the end of that road was such a painful story that even I myself was shocked by it. When I looked down at the world I had created it was as if I’d received a psychological shock. I think I even smelt the faint scent of blood.

—From thorns to rounded edges. I still remember the comment you made during a press conference saying, “I was careful to not kill off any characters”.

Ishida: Stories where characters die are usually fast paced with high stakes, however, the kids at univeil are living a different kind of story. I had to consider the best way to create drama in that kind of setting. I thought about it a lot and it may have only ended up being possible because of the fact it was a game.

—Why is that?

Ishida: Because of the flow of the dialogue, backed by Kosemura-san’s music while it's being read out by all of the voice actors. It all comes together as one… That’s what I think at least. Writing and illustrating are Towada-san and I’s main domain of expertise, but I think that it was thanks to all of the other various creators involved that we were able to create something new.

—Do you think anything about yourself changed, Towada-san?

Towada: It came down to the fact I wanted to create something for Ishida-san whilst there were also things that I wanted to add myself. This dilemma caused me trouble at times, however when I started to consider what components I should add, or which ones I should remove, I began to discover what elements I liked and what my own skillset was. 

The way that Ishida-san and I go about creating stories is different. I came to understand that Ishida-san’s strong point is creating impactful scenes, whilst mine is plotting and world building. Ishida-san being in charge of the pivotal scenes would make things more exciting, so I concentrated on writing everything else whilst keeping the balance in mind. Through working on Jack Jeanne, I’ve become able to say that my strong suit is being able to create a story that flows well.

It may be true that by working with other people, you come to understand more about yourself. Starting with Ishida-san, I also looked at what the other creators were doing and thought ‘so this is how they interpret the story.’ Seeing what they came up with made me notice different approaches that I hadn’t thought of.

I’d write whilst listening to Kosemura-san’s music and decide which way to take a scene. Or I’d watch Seishiro-san dance and think about how I could make the performances more exciting. We were all connected in some way. Novels are usually written alone by one person, so I came to learn the thrill of working on something in a team.

—The way you all came together as gears to create a single work sounds similar to the story of Univeil.

Towada: True. I never thought I’d experience something straight out of my youth again at this age. Being helped by other team members or being supported by them, being motivated by simple phrases like “It was great” or “I like this idea”.

For example, when I was working on the final phases of the story, I was just writing and writing with no end in sight, I couldn’t take it anymore and my pen just stopped moving. During this dire moment so close to the end, my proofreader messaged me saying, “You’re almost done.” And with that simple message alone, it was as if a burst of light appeared before my eyes. Everything had gone pitch black, but they lit everything back up again. Ishida-san also wrote some of the script, so I didn’t feel as alone.

Ishida: At that time I left all my drawings alone and decided to solely focus on the scenario.

Towada: Yeah, because I hit a point where I wasn’t able to write it on my own anymore… When Ishida-san sent me the script he’d written, it was interesting and I let out a breath of relief. I felt the joy of being able to see someone else's work. I was the same as the Univeil students who find joy in performing with others. I definitely wouldn’t have been able to do it if I was alone.

Ishida: You’ve got that right. I think that if anyone was missing from the team, it wouldn’t have worked out. Not to mention that in my case, everyone’s contributions were directed to me, and they were all people that I’d personally gathered.

With manga, even if it comes to the worst case scenario, at the very least it would all just fall on me. However this game isn’t just something I made on my own, I need to contribute as much as I can or the efforts of everyone around me will go to waste as well. There was a moment where I felt afraid of having such a heavy responsibility placed on me. However, if I had tried to do it all on my own, I think I would have given up.

By listening to wonderful music, reading interesting scripts and moving forward together with everyone, I was inspired. Coming together with fellow creators to make one work came with a lot of challenges, but it was fun. It was refreshing being in an environment working alongside other people, and because of it I was able to experience something new.

—Has working alongside other people changed the way you work at all?

Ishida: Right now I’m still in the state immediately after being swept away by the raging waves of a storm, so I’m not sure how I really feel yet. I’m in the phase of just watching what becomes of Jack Jeanne as the waves subside.

Even though the script and illustrations were done, like bonus stages lots and lots of new tasks kept popping up. So I was still busy with work up until the beginning of October last year. When I looked at some of the thoughts people had on the demo version of the game, it felt as though what we’d all been working so hard on had finally taken shape, and I was relieved.

Working on this project I’ve come to learn both the hardships and the fulfilment that comes with creating something with others. So, I suppose I’ve started considering working on something by myself again… I’m not trying to say that it’s in my nature to want to work alone, I think I’m just experiencing some kind of aftershock. I think the waves are returning.

Towada: I’m still working overtime and supervising Jack Jeanne (lol). Like checking content that will be posted on social media, as well as the 4koma manga. Content is still being released and there have been bug reports from some people who played the demo… Meaning that my journey is still not over yet. I think that things should calm down once the game has been released for a while.

Ishida: Yeah, probably after around five months (lol).

—After their final performance, the members of Quartz all threw a party to celebrate. Did you and the rest of the creators do the same upon the game's completion?

Towada: I celebrated with Ishida-san as siblings. And then afterwards we got swamped with work again (lol).

Ishida: Yeah, we didn’t end up meeting with the other developers or the voice cast. Big project after parties aren’t as common these days, but I do want to hear everyone’s stories of any struggles they had.

Towada: There were way too many people involved in total for me to be able to speak with them all, but I’d still love to convey my impressions to them. Like letting them know what I thought was good, or letting them know that a certain thing really helped me out.

Ishida: Ideally I would like to gather everyone and really have it feel that ‘this is the team of people that created Jack Jeanne’ and I’d like to express my gratitude to them all in person. I hope that an opportunity like that will come one day.

~ ~ ~

[april-is]

April 24, 2024: How Can Black People Write About Flowers at a Time Like This, Hanif Abdurraqib

How Can Black People Write About Flowers at a Time Like This Hanif Abdurraqib

dear reader, with our heels digging into the good mud at a swamp’s edge, you might tell me something about the dandelion & how it is not a flower itself but a plant made up of several small flowers at its crown & lord knows I have been called by what I look like more than I have been called by what I actually am & I wish to return the favor for the purpose of this exercise. which, too, is an attempt at fashioning something pretty out of seeds refusing to make anything worthwhile of their burial. size me up & skip whatever semantics arrive to the tongue first. say: that boy he look like a hollowed-out grandfather clock. he look like a million-dollar god with a two-cent heaven. like all it takes is one kiss & before morning, you could scatter his whole mind across a field.

--

From the poet:

“I was at a reading shortly after the [2016] election, and the poet (who was black) was reading gorgeous poems, which had some consistent and exciting flower imagery. A woman (who was white) behind me—who thought she was whispering to her neighbor—said ‘How can black people write about flowers at a time like this?’ I thought it was so absurd in a way that didn’t make me angry but made me curious. What is the black poet to be writing about ‘at a time like this’ if not to dissect the attractiveness of a flower—that which can arrive beautiful and then slowly die right before our eyes? I thought flowers were the exact thing to write about at a time like this, so I began this series of poems, all with the same title. I thought it was much better to grasp a handful of different flowers, put them in a glass box, and see how many angles I could find in our shared eventual demise.” —Hanif Abdurraqib

Today in:

2023: Lit, Andrea Cohen 2022: Meditations in an Emergency, Cameron Awkward-Rich 2021: How the Trees on Summer Nights Turn into a Dark River, Barbara Crooker 2020: Ash, Tracy K. Smith 2019: Under Stars, Dorianne Laux 2018: Afterlife, Natalie Eilbert 2017: There Are Birds Here, Jamaal May 2016: Poetry, Richard Kenney 2015: Dreaming at the Ballet, Jack Gilbert 2014: Vocation, Sandra Beasley 2013: Near the Race Track, Brigit Pegeen Kelly 2012: from Ask Him, Raymond Carver 2011: Sweet Star Chisel, Dearest Flaming Crumbs in Your Beard Lord, John Rybicki 2010: Rain Travel, W.S. Merwin 2009: Goodnight, Li-Young Lee 2008: Bearhug, Michael Ondaatje 2007: Meditation at Lagunitas, Robert Hass 2006: Autumn, Rainer Maria Rilke 2005: On Turning Ten, Billy Collins

[moondustpugh]

Written in the Stars

Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

Summary: You are a believer in fate but after getting your heart broken, you had stopped believing it. Until you met Joe. Suddenly, it got you questioning if fate is real or not.

Author's Note: Okay, this was published in my old blog before and I'm going to be re-publishing it again here per requested from some of you. :) This is actually one of my fave series I wrote.

Wordcount: 4.9K

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five - part six - part seven - part eight - part nine - part ten - epilogue

“According to an ancient Chinese myth, a red string of fate connects those who are destined to meet regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but will never break.” - Chinese Proverb

AUTUMN 2021.

Joe was ready. He had been preparing this for about a year, and he was so ready to do this. He had everything prepared that he even had his best friend help him out to make sure everything was perfect. He got up early in the morning and immediately showered and got ready. He stared in the mirror for a moment before nodding his head and telling himself that everything was going to turn out perfect tonight. Exiting the apartment half an hour later, he was greeted by the Autumn New York air. He walked down the sidewalk, stepping on the crunchy leaves that were falling from the trees as he made his way towards the subway station.

“Hey.” Joe answered as soon as he saw his best friend’s caller ID.

“Are you ready, mate?”

“Yes, everything is going to turn out great tonight. I could feel it.” Joe smiled, exhaling a sharp breath.

“Okay, well, let me know how it goes. You still got filming today, don’t you?”

“Yes, I’m heading there right now.” Joe replied, entering the subway car. “I’ll be done early today though. She already knew what time and where to meet me, so it will just be perfect timing.”

“Okay, well, good luck, mate! It’ll be great.”

“Thank you. I’m a tad bit nervous but that’s normal, innit?”

“Absolutely! Just take a few deep breaths, everything will be fine. She’s mental if she doesn’t say yes.”

Joe couldn’t help but chuckle at his best friend’s comment. “Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Hanging up the phone, Joe smiled to himself, repeating what he was going to say tonight over and over again in his head. He wanted all of this to be perfect. He wanted to do this right. So, as he walked out of the subway, he made his way down the street and into the movie set. For now, he needed to focus his mind on the movie script. He shouldn’t have to worry so much about tonight, especially when he knew that everything was ready and prepared. 

You were awakened by the sound of your alarm. You stretched on your bed before swinging your legs over and letting your feet touch the cold wooden floors of your apartment. Pulling the strings to open your curtains, you were greeted by the view of the city. The skyscrapers stood tall in front of you, and you could see the leaves on the trees turning yellow and orange. The sky was a bit gloomy today, but Autumn was one of your favorite seasons, and you always thought it was beautiful because it was like a sign of a new beginning. The old and the past leaving and a new beginning was starting. It was almost like your life at the moment. You could feel that something new is starting, and it could be tonight. 

“Good morning.” You smiled brightly at your roommate, Sara, as you poured yourself a cup of coffee.

“Someone is chirpy today.” Sara smiled, taking a sip of her tea. 

Sara had been your best friend since you two met in college. She was an exchange student from Germany. Ever since you two met, you both had been inseparable that you both immediately decided to be roommates as soon as you both graduated college. You always believed that meeting Sara was fate. You both got along so well. The both of you were almost the same person. You never had such a healthy friendship before until you met her and that says a lot because even if you had friends then, it was never the same with what you have with Sara. 

“Well, that’s because today might be the day.” You wiggled your eyebrows.

“Really?” Sara’s eyes widened. “How do you know?”

“Maybe. Who knows.” You shrugged. “He had been giving hints, and he was the one who specifically asked me to meet him tonight, which is weird because usually, we don’t meet up ‘til Friday nights unless it’s something important.”

“Well, tell him that I’m a little upset that he didn’t even ask your best friend to help him out or even tell me about it.” Sara teased. 

“I will, but I’m sure he didn’t say anything because he wanted to do it himself.” You shoved a piece of toast in your mouth. 

“Right...” Sara elongated her words. “Just like how he only shows up in your life during the weekends and until now, never even tried to get along with your friends?”

“Sara,” You tilted your head and gave her a look. “He’s just… busy. You know how he is.”

Work was always an excuse that you managed to tell her because you knew she was telling you the truth, but you were too stubborn to admit it. Too blind because you were too in love.

Sara took a sip of her tea and didn’t say anything else. 

“He said that it’s fate.” You added. 

“Really?” Sara raised her brow. “Fate is when you meet someone and then a few years later, you see each other again. Someone that you just know is meant for you no matter what the circumstance is. Even if you don’t see each other after however many years, the universe always brings you two together. Not someone that you meet in a bar and become friends with and decide to hook up one night and then be together after that.”

You knew how Sara was against this relationship in the first place because of how you two got together and even then, you always tried to make sure that your best friend and your boyfriend got along. However, for Sara, he never tried to make an extra effort for you or even try to actually be nice to her. Sometimes, she would even tell you that you weren’t his priority. 

“Just… Just be happy for me, okay? I think that he really is the one.” You sighed.

Sara shook her head. “I am happy for you, but I’ll be happier if he actually treats you right.”

Your eyes caught the sight of the clock across from you and said, “I gotta go. I’ll see you later!” You drank the rest of your coffee before grabbing your things. 

Sara scoffed, shaking her head as she watched you walk out the door before muttering, “Have fun.”

The day couldn’t go any faster as you sat in your office doing some paperwork, staring at the clock from time to time to see if it was almost time to leave. You just couldn’t wait to get out but no matter how hard you tried to make yourself busy, time was just going by slowly. When the clock finally hits 5pm, you immediately packed your things and grabbed your coat and walked out the office building. You pulled your coat closer to your chest, trying to fix your hair from the cold night air that was blowing. You hailed yourself a cab and as you made your way to the restaurant, your leg shook nervously.

Arriving at the restaurant, the place was packed with people, and you immediately got a table for the both of you as you waited for him. You tapped your nails nervously on the table and asked the waiter for a dirty martini to calm yourself down. 

“Hey babe.” 

You looked over your shoulder and gazed up at him. His blue eyes sparkling along with his smile that always made you melt on the inside. 

“Sorry, traffic.” He gave you a kiss on the cheek, which surprised you because he would usually kiss you on the lips. Ignoring the unusual move, you smiled as he sat across from you.

“It’s okay. How are you, babe?” You asked, taking a sip of your drink. “You said you wanted to talk?”

He let out a sigh and hung his head low for a moment. “Yeah, listen… I just…” He stuttered for a moment as you waited for him to finish his sentence. “We had such an amazing adventure together, you know? We have gone through so much.”

“Yeah, I know. Six years. Time went by so fast. It feels like it was just yesterday that we met.”

“Yeah…” He played with his fingers nervously and let out another sigh. “But… I just feel like this isn’t working out.”

You felt your heart shattered into a million pieces the moment those words came out of his lips. Was he breaking up with you? Six years of having this relationship for nothing? Why? Your body froze, and you felt like you were going to scream, but you forgot how to find your words nor even move your body. You were just paralyzed.

“W…What?” Your words stuttered the moment you finally found your voice.

“Listen, I know we have been together for a while, but I just feel like it’s not working out anymore. We both like different things, and I just feel like I’m in the stage of my life where I just don’t want to be in a serious relationship right now.” He explained, trying to reach for your hands. 

You scoffed as you shook your head, immediately pulling your hands away from him. You couldn’t believe the words that you were hearing right now. Was he fucking serious? 

“Six years, Carter!” You exclaimed in frustration. “We were together for six years and you’re gonna tell me you don’t want to be in a serious relationship? What’s the real reason?”

You watched Carter look around the restaurant when you raised your voice at him. You grabbed your purse and coat, ready to leave. You couldn't even look at him anymore. You were furious and angry and heartbroken. You couldn’t even explain all the mixed emotions that you were feeling at the moment. 

“I’m trying not to be a dick here, but I’m just not happy anymore.”

“You said we were fate.” You argued, holding back your tears.

Carter opened his mouth for a moment with no words coming out before finally saying, “I only said that because I knew you were a believer of those things.”

You scoffed as you got up from your chair. You were so angry. You hated every fiber of his being right now, and you needed to leave because you didn’t want to hear what else he was going to say. 

“Don’t act like this.” Carter got up from his chair also. “Did you really think we were going to last long?”

“You’re such a fucking ass!” You exclaimed. “We were together for six years! Of course, I did!” You shook your head and started walking away from him.

“Wait!” Carter held you by your forearm, stopping you from leaving. “Please don’t make this hard. We could still be friends.”

Tears were welling up in your eyes as you let out another scoff. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing right now. Friends, really? After acting like an ass? After all the shit that he just said?! Was he fucking insane?

“You’re such a fucking dick, Carter!” You exclaimed again, pulling your arm away from his grip. He looked around the restaurant again as some of the guests were now looking at the both of you.

But you didn’t care. He deserved to be humiliated from the way he was acting towards you. 

“Please don’t make a scene.” Carter muttered.

“I’m not making a scene.” You argued back. “This is making a scene!”

You grabbed the glass of the dirty martini that was sitting on the table and splashed him with it before scoffing and turning away from him, walking out of the restaurant.

“Well, that was embarrassing.” 

Joe watched you from across the place as you walked out of the restaurant before turning to Rue, who was sitting across from him. Her little comment over the situation made Joe feel a bit uncomfortable since he thought that was a dick move for a man to do something like that to a woman. Though, his mind needed to be somewhere else because this night was important. 

“So, babe. What were you saying?” Rue asked, reaching for Joe’s hands. 

“Um…” Joe cleared his throat and played with the small box inside his coat pocket. “Rue, we have been together for a while, and you have made me a better person. You make me so happy, and I want to make you happy and be there for you for the rest of our lives. You are amazing and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” Joe got up from his chair and went down on one knee. “Will you marry me?”

Rue sat there, a small gasp escaped her lips. Her eyes fell to the ring that was sparkling inside the box before she looked around the restaurant for a moment. Some people were staring at them, and she couldn’t help but feel the blood rush to her cheeks before helping Joe up to his feet.

“Oh, honey.” Rue pouted. “This is the sweetest thing ever, but I’m sorry. I’m just not ready for all of this. I mean… marriage? I have my whole career before me. I don’t want to start a family yet. You know how it is.”

Joe swallowed every bit of his feelings as Rue continued to reject his proposal. He didn’t expect this. He thought their relationship was going really well. He thought they were both ready. Joe stood there in front of her, feeling a bit embarrassed and at the same time, feeling a bit confused. 

“I… I thought we both wanted this.” Joe muttered. “We always have talked about it, and I’m ready, Rue. I want to be with you.”

“I’m so sorry.” Rue gave him a sympathetic look before grabbing her coat. “Yeah, we always talked about it, but I didn’t think that you were going to propose to me now. This is not what I want right now.”

“So, when is the right time to propose then?” Joe asked. 

“I feel like we’ll know when we are on the same page but right now, this isn’t what I want.” Rue leaned in to give Joe a kiss. “I’m sorry.” 

Joe exhaled sharply as he watched Rue walk out of the restaurant. 

What the fuck just happened? 

Joe stood there frozen as the server came by with the champagne and all Joe did was shake his head at the server. He needed to go fight for this. He had to go and find Rue and have a serious conversation about this because this was all a surprise to Joe. It made his heart shatter, hearing the fact that his long term girlfriend had just told him that she didn’t want to marry him. 

You weren’t the only one getting your heart broken tonight.

“Fucking bullshit.” You cursed to yourself outside the restaurant, leaning your back against the brick wall.

God, you were such an idiot. 

You cried to yourself, wiping the tears that were rolling down your cheeks. You were still trying to process all of Carter’s excuses as to why he didn’t want to be with you anymore. You kicked the brick wall with your foot and ran your fingers through your hair. 

You were such a mess.

Your attention was caught when you heard the restaurant door opened and saw Joe running out of the restaurant. He looked around for a moment until he caught your eyes. Feeling embarrassed, you turned away from him and wiped your tears as you sniffed. 

“Have you seen—”

“A strawberry blonde woman? Yeah, she took a cab and went that way.” You murmured, pointing at the direction where the cab went. 

Joe let out a sigh and tilted his head as he walked towards you and asked, “Are you alright?”

“Does it look like I’m okay?!” You exclaimed, watching Joe in front of you take a step back.

Joe knew why you were crying. He saw that whole thing go down inside the restaurant. He knew why you were so angry, so he didn’t say anything else. He understood what you were feeling at the moment because unfortunately, he was also having a shitty night. Not trying to anger you even more, he took out a handkerchief from his coat pocket and handed it to you. For a second there, you paused and just stared at it. 

Why was this stranger being nice after you just yelled at him? 

Though, you accepted it anyway, thinking about how you probably looked ridiculous in front of him with your mascara running and your eyes all red and puffy.

“Thanks.” You muttered, your voice almost a whisper.

Joe watched you wipe your tears and then unfold the handkerchief to blow your nose. He couldn’t help but pursed his lips, holding in his smile as he watched you. Then, his mind directed back to Rue and the reason why he was running out of the restaurant in the first place. He still wanted to talk to her about everything that happened because he loves her, and he wanted this to work out. Maybe she was right? Maybe he did this too soon.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you.” You interrupted Joe’s thoughts. “Why are you running after that woman anyway?” 

“She’s my girlfriend.” Joe replied. “Or… ex. I don’t know right now. I just proposed to her, and she rejected it and ran off.”

You couldn't believe what you were hearing. Here you were thinking that Carter was going to propose to you tonight and instead, he broke it off with you. Meanwhile, the man in front of you proposed to his girlfriend, and she had the audacity to reject it? How could someone reject that, especially if they loved each other? Looking at Joe in front of you, you surely could see it in his eyes how much he loves her. Who would still run after a person after they rejected their proposal? This man in front of you surely would. 

How lucky she was.

“I’m sorry.” You told him.

“It’s okay.” Joe hailed a cab and turned to look at you. “Are you gonna be alright?”

“Yeah, thank you.” You nodded and watched him give you a small smile.

“Here, take this cab. I’ll get the next one.” Joe opened the door for you as you muttered another thank you before getting inside. 

“If it makes you feel any better, you dodged a bullet.” Joe said before closing the door. 

You couldn’t help but think about that comment on the way back home to your apartment.

Maybe he was right. 

Maybe you did dodged a bullet, and Sara was right. 

Carter was an asshole. 

You tried your best to hold back your tears at the back of the cab but it just wouldn’t stop falling. You could see the cab driver’s eyes looking at you through his rearview mirror, and you couldn’t help but think about how many times you were going to embarrass yourself in front of strangers tonight. You were just glad that the cab driver didn’t say anything to you. The moment he stopped in front of your apartment building, you paid the man and quickly exited out of the vehicle. 

The apartment was dark and quiet when you entered. You figured maybe Sara was still out on her date. So, you headed to the bathroom and slid your clothes off. Entering the shower, you sat on the bathroom floor, hugging your knees and just cried your eyes out. The hot water ran down your skin as you sat there and sobbed on your knees. You couldn’t even tell anymore if it was the hot water that was making your body numb, or it was just because you were just done with everything. 

When you slid under your bed covers that night, your eyes were all red and puffy, and you could barely breathe from your stuffy nose. Your skin was all pruney because you had spent probably an hour in the shower and letting the hot water just run down your body. You stared at the ceiling for a moment as tears started rolling down your cheeks again. 

Your chest hurts. 

Everything hurts.

You didn’t stop yourself from crying anymore. You let everything out as you hugged your tear soaked pillow tightly until you were just so exhausted that you finally crashed. 

The sound of loud clattering woke you up the next morning. You fluttered your eyes open and stared at the ceiling for a moment. You felt numb. You didn’t even want to get up and go to work today. After all, it was a Friday. Maybe calling out sick was a good idea for today. You weakly got up from your bed and made your way out the door and saw Sara putting away the plates in the cupboard.

“I’m sorry. Did I wake you? I accidentally dropped one of the—” Sara paused as soon as she glanced up and saw your face. 

“Ohmygod.” She immediately set the plates on the counter and pulled you into an embrace. “What happened? What the fuck did he do?”

You buried your face on your best friend’s shoulder and sobbed as you hugged her tightly. Sara softly rubbed your back, and you both stayed like that for a few minutes. Sara didn’t say anything. She just let you cry in her arms. She didn’t want to push you until you were ready to talk. 

“He…He broke… it off.” Your words stuttered. “He said.. he didn’t want to be in a serious relationship at the moment.”

“That’s fucking bullshit.” Sara retorted. “Six years together and he says that shit?”

You nodded your head as Sara gave you a glass of water, while you wiped your tears with the back of your hand. 

You felt exhausted. 

“He’s such a fucking asshole.” Sara cursed under her breath. “I’m so sorry.” Sara rubbed your back softly again. “He doesn’t deserve you. Someone like that doesn’t deserve your love and you know it. He’s stupid and an idiot for letting you go.”

“It feels like… it was so easy for him.” Tears rolled down your face again. “It was as if the six years we had together was just nothing to him. Like it didn’t mean anything to him.”

“C’mere.” Sara whispered, pulling you into a hug again and embracing you tightly. “You don’t have to go to work today. You can hang at the bookstore with me.”

“It’s okay. I… I need to go. They need me there.” You sniffed. “Plus, I need a distraction after all of this.”

“Okay, but if you need me to rescue you, just give me a call.”

You let out a small smile. “Thank you.”

“Hey,” Sara softly set her hand on your forearm, “Don’t push yourself too hard today and please let me know if I could help you with anything.” 

“Thank you. I will.”

Drinking the rest of your water, you left the kitchen to get yourself ready for work. Sitting at the subway later that morning, all your mind could think of were the memories of Carter. The way how you both started off as friends and then started dating just because you two had hooked up one night. Carter had told you then that he had feelings for you all this time, and he didn’t want to say anything because he thought you didn’t like him back. You felt like maybe you were too over dramatic and that was why he broke up with you. It made you question every single thing that you did to really know the reason why he broke up with you. Sara was right. His excuse wasn’t genuine. The way he lied to you just so he could be with you? Just because you believed in fate? 

Now, you don’t even know if you even believed in that anymore. 

You spent your day trying to focus on your work and told yourself that you weren’t going to cry because why would you cry over some piece of a shit of a man? Why would you waste your tears on someone who couldn’t even commit to you even after six years? But you failed because by the time it was your first break, you had found yourself in the bathroom upstairs. You sat in the stall, your palms on your face, and you just sobbed quietly. Then, on your lunch break, you found yourself in the bathroom again, and you didn’t even eat your lunch because you spent the next half hour just sobbing in the bathroom. 

You were so tired of crying. You felt like there was nothing left inside of you anymore. 

By the end of the day, you had tried gathering yourself and decided to spend the afternoon in the mall to get your mind off of things. You needed a distraction, and it was a Friday. Carter would usually come and pick you up from the office, and you two would spend the night together at his place but this time, you were alone. There was no more Carter picking you up from your office, no Carter cooking dinner for you on a Friday night, and no more Carter who would hold you in his arms when you had a long day at work. Thinking about those memories pulled your heartstrings a little bit too hard, and it made your chest ache for him. Snapping out of your thoughts, you sighed as soon as the subway stopped and you exited and made your way to the mall.

The place was crowded, and it was all decorated ready for Halloween. You didn’t know exactly what you wanted to see or buy, but you just wanted to get your mind off of Carter. You bought yourself some coffee to give yourself a bit of energy and a piece of pretzel since you were hungry. After all, you didn’t eat your lunch today. You took a deep breath and walked down the mall when suddenly, everything happened so fast. You found your coffee spilled on your white button up and your pretzel that you were holding was now on the floor. 

Oh, just fucking great.

“Jesus.” Joe whispered as you stood there with your mouth open in shock, soaked with your drink. 

“This is just fucking great!” You exclaimed sarcastically. 

“I’m so sorry. Are you alright?” He asked, that English accent slipping through his voice. 

You glanced up and saw him. That British man that you saw last night outside of the restaurant. This was the second time you had yelled at him and this was the second time you two had bumped into each other. His chocolate button eyes staring into yours were full of guilt and worry, and you couldn’t help but study him from up and down. He definitely looked different from last night. His brown curls were all disheveled, and falling down perfectly on his forehead. He was just wearing a white shirt and jeans unlike last night with his button up and fancy trousers. 

You couldn’t blame him. 

His girlfriend—or ex— rejected his proposal. You couldn't help but think about how her decision was still ridiculous and stupid. But then again, you didn’t know the woman. Who were you to judge? You were just basing it off from your own experience and point of view. 

“Wait, I know you.” Joe said. 

You let out a sigh and said, “Yeah, I’m the one who yelled at you last night outside of the restaurant.”

Joe chuckled softly and nodded his head, all the pieces falling into place in his head.

“I’m sorry about that.” You said. “You just found me at my lowest point.”

Joe shrugged, “It’s alright, I understand. You weren’t the only one having a shitty night.”

“Right.” You pursed your lips. “I’m sorry about your proposal.”

“It’s alright. It’s life. We’re still trying to work things out though.”

You nodded your head and couldn’t help but think again how lucky that girl was because even if she rejected his proposal, he was still trying to make things work. Carter, on the other hand, just gave up on the both of you so easily. Threw away everything that you had like it was nothing. 

“Well, good luck.” You gave him a small smile before walking away. 

“Wait, are you sure you’re alright?” Joe asked. “I could get you a new shirt. You’re… soaked with your coffee and maybe a pretzel since I made you drop that one.” His eyes fell to the floor where your pretzel was now laying on. 

“It’s okay. I’ll manage. Thank you.” 

“Are you sure? I really don’t mind.”

“I’m sure. It’s nice to see you again.” You gave him a small wave as you walked away. 

Letting your feet drag you in the opposite direction of him, you let out a sigh and couldn’t help but look back at the man that you kept bumping into for the last 24 hours. He was walking away in the opposite direction and his back was turned to you. For a moment, you wished there was someone that could fight for you the way he does with his girlfriend. The way he didn’t give up even if she had rejected him. 

You just wished someone wouldn’t give up on you so easily. 

**********

Taglist:

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[who-is-page]

That person you and Rani were arguing with about phantom limbs apparently got called out a few days ago for having zootherians in their pack

I saw a post about this; namely, because the associated Therian Amino call-out used my Beware as a main citation for talking about the known bestialist LycanTheory.

I haven't reblogged or commented anything regarding it because, in all honesty, the evidence as I've seen so far has not been substantial enough for me to feel confident in commenting and saying anything one way or another. All I've seen is a single video on it (x) which was incredibly difficult to parse or understand with my audio processing disorder and the filter the therian chose to use: the video cited the Therian Amino post I mentioned earlier (x), which offered no proof to its claims regarding Thorn nor its claims regarding PinkDolphin, and a highlight reel on Instagram (x), which is also very nearly fucking impossible to navigate and once again has claims that are very difficult to prove on the basis of a single messily-edited screenshot that stay up on the screen for just a few seconds.

So... let me look into this more and give an informative summary for the people just now hearing about this before I give any sort of real, proper response.

I'll give you the TL;DR now: The accusations leveled at Thorn from Therian Territory regarding this claim seem to be false.

The claims that I'll be focusing on here are that Thorn is an active part of the Evergreen Unakite Pack (EUP), which also supposedly contains the founder of the BITE Discord, Dayn, and his partner, Autumn. The BITE Discord is a bestialist-friendly Discord which masquerades as a safe space for paraphiles; some of you may remember LycanTheory, the predator who sexually assaulted his pets and who has sexually interacted with minors via texts and videos, and his bestialist partner Jade who was a long-time member and moderator on the server.

Thorn of Therian Territory has made a response video (x). Thorn states that there is no association between themself and LycanTheory, pointing out that the original call-out also doesn't showcase any proof for that claim either; much the opposite, they've had some really nasty experiences with LycanTheory. Thorn claims to not have known that Autumn and Dayn were zoophiles, as they did not actively identify as zoophiles at the time of them being in a formal pack together and it fell apart soon after. When Jade entered the friend group, zoophilia more generally became a topic and things fell apart due to Thorn's discomfort. Thorn outright says they do not support zoophilia.

I went digging and looked into the EUP's first pack meetup (x). There is an Autumn at the meetup, who identifies as a black wolf and a zebra; the screenshot displayed of Autumn333333 from Twitter claims to be a zeta with a zebra and husky theriotype. There is no one at the meetup who identifies as an ANCD wolfdog, Dayn's theriotype as displayed in the screenshot of vilewolfxD from Twitter.

The Twitter account Autumn333333 joined Twitter in December 2021; the Twitter account vilewolfxD didn't join until October 2022. The EUP first howl meetup was posted on August 16th, 2021, and was likely taken earlier than that. This seems to support Thorn's claim that Autumn and Dayn were not public about being a part of the Zeta community until after the pack had already disbanded. Thorn also supplies a screenshot of what is supposedly the first time Autumn333333 liked a post on Twitter from someone in the Zeta community, dated April 16th, 2022. I'm not really dedicated enough to scroll all the way back and check myself, but if it's accurate then that also supports their claim. Autumn333333's Twitter is empty outside of likes, but searching for "Thorn" and "Therian Territory" and "Evergreen" on vilewolfxD didn't garner any results for my Twitter.

So, ultimately... these accusations of Thorn being a part of a pack with Zetas seem to be false, and based entirely on a single YouTuber, intentionally or accidentally, misrepresenting a timeline in order to make someone seem significantly worse than they actually are.

[copperbadge]

The new, improved, and already out of date timeline for the Shivadh novels (now with post-it note origami covering up a couple of spoilers).

It starts in 2021 with Fete up top in peach, then follows Infinite Jes (blue), Lady And The Tiger starting in 2022 (purple), Twelve Points (light grey), and Royals/Ramblers (back to peach) spanning 2022-2023, with a couple of relevant Jewish holidays in dark grey and the yet-unwritten Simon novel in green down near the bottom. A few minor events, mostly to do with Ioanna's adoption, have already been moved since printing; also since the football novel is about 2/3 written, I may bump Simon's novel to 2024 and put the football novel in to cover autumn 2023 through spring 2024. Which may work best anyway for other reasons.

Even with the changes it's useful as a high-level view of the timeline. Above and beyond plotting out the fairly intricate events of Royals/Ramblers, there are date inconsistencies in the football novel that this made evident to me.

[fatehbaz]

Even more Persian cheetah news:

January 2022: One of “the rarest cats in the world,” the Persian cheetah is near extinction. This species, Acinonyx jubatus venaticus, also known as the  “Asiatic cheetah,” is the only cheetah to survive in the wild in all of the Eurasian continent. In January 2022, the national deputy environment minister of Iran announces that there are only 12 remaining wild Persian cheetahs. However, responding directly to this announcement, the Iranian Cheetah Society, in a press release also from January 2022, clarifies that this statistic provides “the minimum adult population identified” and does not count 3 captive cheetahs, 4 newborn cubs recorded in 2021, 3 other cubs separated from their mother in 2021, or wild cheetahs observed in North Khorasan. Altogether, it is estimated that less than 50 remain alive.

April/May 2022: It is announced that three cubs have been born in captivity at Turan Wildlife Refuge in Iran. Never before has this happened. This the first time that Persian cheetahs have successfully given birth in captivity.

August 2022: By this time, 2 of the 3 cubs have died. Of the trio, Pirouz is the only remaining cub.

December 2022: Two more Persian cheetah cubs are discovered.

They are reported to be less than one month old. In this announcement, environmental managers say that, at Turan, cheetah birth usually occurs in spring, to allow cub growth over the summer. However, in this case, the cheetahs have been born late in autumn, putting them in danger due to cold weather conditions.

The news was publicly announced on 3 December 2022. And also I guess it’s appropriate:

---

Been an eventful year.

The saga over the past year or so:

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Some newly-detected wild cheetahs, in 2021, from Iranian Cheetah Society:

[jinstronaut]

tysm for the tags @cordiallyfuturedwight + @sevencoloredstar ♥

Who is your favourite kpop group?

bangtan sonyeondan do u kno

Which member sparked your interest first?

taehyung in that 2020 grammy's old town road performance video i wont LIE TO U i said who the FUCK is that man what is going ON

Who was your first bias?

seokjin uwu

Who is your current bias?

mf seokjin i am a LOYAL BITCH (also tae and yoongi tho)

What makes them your current bias?

idk what to tell u without waxing poetic for 18 years just know that i lov jin so so much he is just like me fr fr. he is so smart and talented and wise and funny and light hearted and dedicated. also his solo music rly speaks to me like.... the entire song he wrote dealing with his depression???? wow king me too. everything he does just makes me so happy and feel so at peace. he is truly the best human. i lov Jin.

Who is your bias wrecker?

jungkook i cant deny it any longer im gonna kick him

Which members are you currently obsessing over that aren't your bias/bias wrecker?

its pretty much always hobi like what the fuck is jung hoseok doing he got me acting UP

When did you first discover this group?

may 2021!!!!! i was in between jobs post covid and just trolling youtube one day and the bts carpool karaoke kept popping up and i was like okAY FINE ILL WATCH IT. and then it spiraled from there and i was so down bad within 24 hrs its insane. it was RIGHT before the release of butter too i was so happy ;o;

Have you ever been to one of their concerts?

i got to see boongi dday tour opening night!!!!!! the last time i was truly happy i s2g!!!!!!!!!!

What are some of your favorite songs by the group?

yall kno spring day. do u kno her. do u appreciate her. do u understand the cultural impact she had and is still having. no one loves her like i do that's a fact.

but also uh. save me, coffee, like, autumn leaves, magic shop, 00:00, UGH!, run bts, i wont lie all of dark and wild that album is >>>>>>>>>>. also dimple, and pied piper. yeah.

tagging: @jiniekook, @kimtaegis, @livelocks + anyone else who would like to!

[margareth-lv]

🕸️ Weaving stories. Spinning tales 🕸️

There is something magical about weaving a story together. I'm deeply convinced that a community is built from a story that many people add their pieces to. So in the good tradition of a shared storytelling I would like to continue in the direction that that @sgiandubh set out in her post last Saturday.

*** *** *** I have always been baffled by the bizarre version of reality that is imposed in CaitOnly World, in which Caitríona, her Shy 'Husband' and their «Blonde Bambino» supposedly live. In CaitOnly World Santa Caitríona da Monaghan plays her own version of the efficient housewife à rebours. It's as if she's been brought back to life from the 50s, from the days of «The Occupation: Housewife», with Mr McShy, of course, as the housewife who treats his 'wife' like a goddess (even though he doesn't) and looks after their «Blonde Bambino».

Side Note: Maybe it's because being CaitOnly is like believing. It is a statement of faith. It has nothing to do with reality or what we might know about Caitríon's life. With all sorts of caveats and disclaimers, of course.

*** *** ***

Now there's another 'scandal' about Sam's 'numerous travels' and an absolute inability to reconcile these travels with a family life (I've only been here a short time and I've seen the same 'shock' a few times already).

Meanwhile, all these defenders of Caitríona's ‘connubial bliss’ and those who shout loudly that Sam would be the worst dad in the world (fortunately he's not a dad in the CaitOnly World), travelling around the world as he does, so all these wise women of the CaitOnly World don't even bother to listen to Caitríona herself.

I, on the other hand, fortunately have notes, screen shots and the memory of an old female elephant. *** *** *** Remember the "nomadic life"?

Once upon a time, we had a nice fandom legend about Caitríona mentioning her husband a lot, but never saying his name (because she couldn't pronounce 'husband' and 'Tony' in the same sentence). And as what is written about in fandom is usually reflected in Caitríona's PR, the Wall Street Journal published this long-awaited gem on 16 November 2021, during the infamous 'Balfast' promotion, of course:

The article itself is behind a paywall, so you'll have to take my word for it. This is an actual screenshot.

But let's skip the 'husband'-comma-'Tony' sequence. Let's concentrate on the hippie 'nomadic life'.

Because a nomadic life with the Blonde Bambino is obviously nonsense to anyone who can count. The baby was supposedly born in August 2021. Outlander season 6 wrapped in May/June 2021. If the Blonde Bambino was travelling between Glasgow (where the series was filmed) and London (where he lives), it couldn't have been the Blonde Bambino born in August 2021. But who can do the maths these days?

*** *** *** Anyway, mentioning Caitríona Balfe's hippy 'nomadic life' sent the internet buzzing in Autumn 2021. Suddenly everyone was describing her travels with husband, child and possessions (how far away from the image of Caitríona in a 1950s-style kitchen apron). One small example - the article is not behind the paywall - published by the Daily Express.

Admittedly, this article, like most articles about our two lovebirds, is a strange mixture of fact and manipulation. But let's focus on the interesting content.

Beneath a screenshot of an IG photo of Sam and the blonde bambino`s hands lying on a striped sheet, the article read:

She wrote: "Today, my husband, Tony, and I and our son are slightly nomadic. "We split our time between Glasgow and London. “When I’m working on Outlander, we're in Glasgow."

Admittedly, it's impossible to know where Caitriona 'wrote' the above (as it's certainly not on her Instagram account, I'm guessing the author apparently had trouble quoting the Wall Street Journal directly, which is a shame). But let's not get hung up on irrelevant details. Surely the hippie dimension of the "nomadic life" was important to Caitríona's PR in some way (the message: I'm not a boring wife to a boring man, I travel the world, even with a newborn, I'm an artist, I'm a hippy!).

So much important, in fact, that an article in The Guardian on January 23, 2022, after the tour's composition had been corrected (by how logically the newborn had been omitted), added Los Angeles to the "nomadic existence" between London and Glasgow.

And Villa No Ego, I think.

*** *** ***

Bottom line: everyone, everyone listen:

Caitríona travels. With her husband. With a child (well, with children). With clothes, with blankets, with baby's cutlery. With toys. With a suitcase full of shoes. With warm clothes and a child's bicycle. She leads what she calls a "nomadic life". London, Glasgow, Los Angeles. New York. Et caetera.

This seems to fit in quite well with the kind of lifestyle that Sam lets the fandom know about from time to time, doesn't it? Doesn't it seem to make their lives consistent?

Quod erat demonstrandum. Which was to be proved.

Thank you for your attention. It was a long text.

😅

[February 8, 2024]

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

I think royal divorces can only happen after ten years of marriage and attempts at counselling - Peter & Autumn apparently had this, so did Diana & Charles and also David Linley & Serena

It's a good theory, but when you really dig into it, it doesn't hold much weight because it assumes that everyone divorced after only 10 years of marriage, which hasn't happened.

Margaret & Antony: Married 1960, separated 1976 and divorced in 1978 (16 years of marriage and 2 years of separation). They both had affairs but it was Margaret's affair with Roddy Llewellyn being published by News of the World and the scandal it caused in 1976 that forced the separation and ultimately divorce.

Anne & Mark: Married in 1973, separated in 1989, divorced in 1992 (16 years of marriage and 3 years of separation). They didn't intend to divorce (and announced said intentions) despite both being linked to other people (Anne with the man who became her second husband) but in 1991, it was confirmed Mark had fathered a child born in 1985 and there was a lawsuit for child support. Anne filed for divorce in April 1992.

Andrew & Sarah: Married in 1986, separated in 1992, and divorced in 1996 (6 years of marriage and 4 years of separation). They didn't intend to divorce either but Sarah had a series of embarrassing scandals that forced a divorce.

Charles & Diana: Married in 1981, separated in 1992, divorced in 1996 (11 years of marriage and 4 years of separation). By all intent and purpose, everyone was fine to let them remain married by separated but then escalating scandals over Diana's behavior (affairs, tit-for-tat with Charles in the media, culminating in Panorama) forced The Queen to require divorce.

David & Serena: Married in 1993, separated in 2020, and it's unclear when/if the divorce was finalized (26 years of marriage). There's been no reason given for the divorce but a lot of articles about the Snowdons' divorce announcement suggest it might be related to finance/business issues.

Peter & Autumn: Married in 2008, separated in 2019, divorced in 2021 (11 years of marriage and 2 years of separation). No reason given for the separation and divorce. It sounds like irreconciliable differences in the press coverage.

The only thing all of these divorces have in common is that there was a separation before the actual divorce; however, it is not legally required for a couple to separate before they divorce. The only requirement in England is that the couple be married for at least one year before divorcing. So there probably isn't a minimum requirement on a royal marriage - there may have been The Queen's preference, but I'm skeptical that was even a thing because if it was, she wouldn't have allowed Andrew and Sarah to separate after 6 years; she'd have required them to wait 4 more years. (But then one could also argue that Andrew was The Queen's favorite so of course he's different.)

There also isn't really evidence of a requirement for counselling. We know that Charles and Diana were in counselling because there's irrefutable evidence of it. We don't know that any of the other couples received counselling on their marriages. It's certainly plausible there was counselling for all of them because there isn't a whole lot we know about most of the marriages, but it's not something to use as a benchmark.

What we can use as benchmark is that 4 out of these 6 marriages ended because of extramarital affairs and infidelity that embarrassed The Queen and the monarchy. In other words, it's fine for there to be cheating or "being linked to other people" (as it was phrased for Anne and Mark) but it can't be front-page news and it can't be the married-in being "exposed" for breaking vows. That's really the only common thread here.

David's and Peter's divorces are different. Their separations and divorces played out behind closed doors, which prompts a few questions: Did no one care because they're so far down in the line of succession? Maybe. Did they learn to keep their private business quiet? No, because Peter still got busted for breaking COVID lockdown rules. Did they learn to clean up after them? Maybe. Because Peter getting busted for breaking COVID lockdown to see his girlfriend means that if there had been infidelity, the press would've sussed it out. In all likelihood, both of the 2020 divorces are not the result of infidelity or extramarital affairs.

So circling it back to the Sussexes. If we go by precedent, the only way the BRF may try to force a divorce is if Meghan embarrasses Harry with a very public affair. But even then it's not a really good predictor because of how much everything has changed. Harry and Meghan are private citizens now and we have King Charles in charge instead of Queen Elizabeth. And, well, King Charles doesn't quite have the same moral standard as Queen Elizabeth so he can't really make the same kind of demands without appearing hypocritical (and usually that's where Harry tends to get a lot of grace).

So the only thing we can really say about if or whether the Sussexes divorce is that an actual divorce will be preceded by some type of separation during which everyone will be negotiating terms of the divorce, including custody.

[romaine2424]

Daily Blog June 22, 2023

So that was fun yesterday in starting this blog. I seriously do hope that as time goes by that others will start doing the same. :) I do want to add that in my posts I will be adding some fandom history now and then. Today is one of those days. I may have been a bit self-indulgent. *blushes*

What I'm Reading:

I'm trying to savor the Ginny sorted into Slytherin story I mentioned yesterday. In my first read of it, I raced through it and know that I probably missed enjoying it in it's complete form. I'm on a few Discords and one of them being Harry Potter Fanfiction Club. They have a vote every month to choose what fics the members can read together and discuss. This month they chose for Drarry aideomai's Dwelling. I'd read this masterpiece before but decided to look for a shorter fic by this amazing author. I chose Nice Things. OMG all 22K of this fic is such a treat. If you ever need a warm, dreamylike fic, choose this one. It's an 8th year fic where only 7 of the classmates come back. Ron, Harry, and Hermione are in the mix. Draco is there along with Theo. They are assigned to live in a cottage on the grounds of Hogwarts. The progression of Harry and Draco's relationship is lovely. Read it now or Bookmark it for later when the need for this type of fic hits...as we all know there are times it's needed.

Tumblr Posts of Interest:

I only have one today and that's just because I have a bit to say about it as it holds a special place in my fandom heart.

HD Fan Fair (Career Fair) is open for prompts! They have openings for 250 prompts and so far have 153. Prompt closing is on June 30th. Claiming begins on July 1st.

First of all, I think we need to give a huge shout-out to Fan Fair mod @phoenixacid. This will be her 10th year of modding this fest. I do believe she worked on it even earlier. Anyone who's modded a fest before knows the dedication it takes to see it through. Her co-mod, @sassy-cissa has been involved since 2018.

Here's a little history about this Fest

This fest has been going on annually since 2009, with the exception of 2011. It was conceived by @marguerite26 and myself, with @vaysh11 and Jamie2109 soon joining in. I was unable to mod for personal reasons that first year and only partially the second...after that I pretty much left fandom. Back then, you really couldn't just start a fest when other established fests were already on the calendar. It was considered impolite and it would be posted on LJ about what an arse you were. LOL When hd_inspired closed shop, we jumped in and took their spot in Autumn. Fan Fair started with Career Fair and then moved on to Travel Fair. Since then, they've had Book (books mentioned in HP), Sex, Food, and Pottermore Fairs with repeats for Career, Travel and Food. Both Inspired and then Fan Fair were novel in being a prompt fest as opposed to an exchange fest like @hd-erised (back then it was hd_holidays). We felt it gave greater control to the authors to write to a prompt they liked as opposed to be assigned one, which from personal experience can cause angst and meltdowns. That is why it was called a Fair as opposed to a fest. A fest usually meant an Exchange Fest.

When I came back to fandom, I about cried seeing that @Phoenixacid had not only kept Fan Fair alive but it was thriving. I wrote for it that first year I came back in 2021, and I made a promise to read and comment on every fic and art piece posted for the Fairs. I only skipped one fic last year. It was brilliantly written but was beyond my comfort level for psychological horror. I don't listen to Podfics, I'm sorry to say. When I used to commute hours to and from work, I could but now I don't have the where-with-all to pay attention.

So go PROMPT!!!!! And give tons of love to the two mods!!!! Mods are the backbone of fandom.

For more history on Fan Fair and links to all the previous Fairs and their masterlists, here you go. Fan Fair on Fanlore.

Tumblr Drarry Fic/Art Resource:

Did you know the amazing @snowgall created and maintains a Drarry fanart archive at @snowingalway. She had noticed that fandom art of old was being lost and artists were leaving fandom. The pieces available for viewing are those that the artists have given her permission to archive. She personally contacted the artists to ask for such permission. I think when you visit the sight and view what she's saved, you too will be thrilled and indebted for what she's done for Drarry fandom. Please not she also posts and collect current works, too!

Last Tidbit:

I mentioned yesterday that I'd be reccing a fic today. I'm going to hold off on that until tomorrow. This is long enough. *blushes again*

[charlotte-of-wales]

lord here we go once more......

The Telegraph: Meghan wrote to the King over racism concerns

"The Duchess of Sussex expressed her concerns about unconscious bias in the Royal family in a letter to the King, The Telegraph can reveal. 

It is understood that the correspondence was sent in the wake of the March 2021 Oprah Winfrey interview, in which the Duchess alleged that a member of the Royal family had speculated about the colour of her unborn son’s skin. 

A source has said that the Duchess feels she has not received a satisfactory response to her concerns, and that is believed to be one factor in her decision not to attend the Coronation on May 6. 

It is understood that her letter was sent in reply to one from the King. He is believed to be the only senior member of the family to make contact with the Duchess after the interview. 

Then Prince of Wales, he is understood to have expressed sadness over the chasm that had emerged between the two sides of the Royal family. 

He is said to be disappointed that the Duke and Duchess felt the need to make such high-profile and damaging allegations. 

In the interview, the Duchess told Winfrey that there had been “concerns and conversations about how dark his [Archie’s] skin might be when he’s born”. 

A source claimed that the letters make clear the identity of the senior member of the family who made the comment. 

It is understood that both the King and the Duchess acknowledged that the individual’s remark was not made with malice. 

The Duchess is believed to have thanked the King for his words. The Duchess’s letter is also said to suggest that she had never intended to specifically accuse the individual involved of being a racist, but was raising concerns about unconscious bias. 

However, it is understood that she does still consider the comment to be racist. 

One royal source suggested that while the exchange was warm in tone, it had not eased the tension between the two sides. 

The Duchess is understood to feel that concerns she has raised, which crucially include the way in which bullying complaints against her were handled and the allegation that neglect by the institution led her to feel suicidal, have still not been resolved. 

It was confirmed earlier this month that the Duke would attend the King’s Coronation on May 6 alone, as the Duchess had opted to remain at home in California with their children. 

The desire to put her own family first by staying with Prince Archie on his fourth birthday, which falls on the same day, was said to have been the deciding factor. 

However, she also wanted to protect herself by side-stepping the inevitable criticism and attention that her appearance would have provoked. 

Royal sources indicated that they had never expected the Duchess to fly over for the occasion, aware that her private correspondence with the King had not been enough to prevent further mud-slinging from the Sussexes. 

While the issues raised during the racism row have never been resolved, the Duchess is said to have moved on and does not hold a grudge.

The royal race row involving Lady Susan Hussey, Elizabeth II’s longest-serving lady in waiting, last autumn has also not helped, although the Sussexes were said to acknowledge that the incident reflected outdated attitudes held by the older generation. 

Prince William was quick to convey his own disappointment in his godmother via a spokesman, who said he agreed with “the course of action”. 

The speed with which the Palace dealt with the furore appeared to prove that the Sussexes’ allegations had made their mark. 

The Palace is also aware of the Sussexes’ frustration that initial email correspondence about the Coronation made no reference to their children and their potential involvement. The omission only fuelled their feeling that their family plays second fiddle to the Waleses. 

Following the late Queen’s death, the Duke and Duchess confirmed that they would like their children, Archie, three, and Lilibet, one, to use the Prince and Princess titles they had automatically inherited. 

But the Palace’s delay in recognising the children’s elevated status caused frustration, not least as the Prince and Princess of Wales’s titles, and those of their children, were swiftly changed upon the late Queen’s death. 

The Duke of Sussex made clear in television interviews in January that he was holding out for an apology from his family, when he insisted he wanted to reconcile with the King and the Prince of Wales. 

Tensions with Charles were soothed when the King did eventually reach out to his son and the pair had a heart-to-heart, shortly before the Duke confirmed his attendance at the Coronation. 

But there were no such overtures to Meghan, with whom relations with the Prince and Princess of Wales remain at rock bottom. 

The King has long championed multicultural Britain and firmly believes it is his role to protect and celebrate such diversity. 

He has recently given his backing to a research project into the Royal family’s historical links to the slave trade, having previously expressed his “personal sorrow” over the suffering of transatlantic slaves. 

It has raised the prospect that the King might even be prepared to pay reparations, although the Palace has insisted it is too early to discuss it. "

[jonnysinsectcatalogue]

Dragonflies of Ontario - Order Odonata

In honor of the Lunar New Year - which this year is the Year of the Dragon - I have a compilation post showcasing some of the Dragonflies that call Ontario their home and hunting grounds! Just like the New Year's Post, the pictures found here haven't been uploaded to the blog before. Although similar in shape and form, these Odonates differ vastly across sizes, color and ferocity. Some even have patterned wings which can be different whether male or female and how old they are! Most of them in the wilderness, in close proximity to (un-pictured) water sources; it's far easier to photograph when they are close, rather than darting across a lake in pursuit of another insect. The specimens here consist of many familiar species across the many families within the Infraorder known as Anisoptera. Any guesses on the exact number of family classifications featured in this post? To answer that question: look closely at, no...behold these colorful, powerful and majestic Dragonflies:

Autumn Meadowhawk - Sympetrum vicinum (Sept 18, 2018)

Twelve-Spotted Skimmer - Libellula pulchella (June 30th, 2019)

Lancet Clubtail - Phanogomphus exilis (June 25th, 2022)

Common Whitetail (female) - Plathemis lydia (May 25th, 2021)

Common Whitetail (immature male) - Plathemis lydia (June 16th, 2021)

Common Whitetail (male) - Plathemis lydia (August 9th, 2023)

Green Darner - Anax junius (September 27th, 2019)

Ruby Meadowhawk - Sympetrum rubicundulum (August 29, 2019)

Blue Dasher ("tween" male) - Pachydiplax longipennis (July 30th, 2020)

Blue Dasher (female) - Pachydiplax longipennis (August 2nd, 2020)

Pictures taken prior to 2020 were made with a Samsung Galaxy S4, except for the Green Darner which was photographed with an iPhone 8 by a near and dear friend. Pictures taken during 2020 onward were captured with a Google Pixel 4.

Have a Happy Year of the Dragon and continue to enjoy an amazing 2024! Now, let's see what new Dragon-related insects will join the blog next! For all bug-hunters out there, take extra care not to confuse the Dragons in Pictures 2 and 4.