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moldy-flowers · 3 months ago

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Izuna x Tobirama au in which Izuna or Tobirama is kidnapped by the others clan and held captive but Tobirama slowly comes to the horrifying realisation that izuna is a yapper

(RELATED TO THIS POST IN WHICH I TALK ABOUT AN HC THAT ALL UCHIHAS ARE SECRETLY YAPPERS BUT ONLY TO LIKE, ONE PERSON)

See, now Tobirama doesn't know about the whole "there's only one person they'll be comfortable yapping to" and he thinks that this may be some weird tactic to get information out of him.

Like Tobirama, kidnapped in enemy territory. He's thinking through every situation possible. He could get out. Except someone with equal power to him just walked through the door, he closes his eyes and looks away, as long as he's looking away they can't get him. He knows who he is just by the way he walks, the way he breathes and the way his heart beats.

Ba-bum, Ba-dum.

He stops approximately a metre away from him.

Ba-bum, Ba-dum.

He crouches down, getting eye-level with Tobirama.

Ba-bum, Ba-dum.

Tobirama would not submit. No matter the torture he be put through by the Uchiha before him. He had danced with swords in the midst of the evanescent flames with Izuna, he felt the burn of the fire and the cool sweat dripping down his temple. He knew all of that Bastards tricks, how to counter them and how to block them.

Ba-dum, Badum.

Izuna opened his mouth to speak, pausing for a short moment to collect his thoughts. 'I will not yield, I will not yield,' Tobirama chanted to himself silently, mind racing he of every angle he could go at this. He knew Izuna well enough to know what his counter would be. But he knew Izuna would be thinking of ways to counter his counter attack.

"Do you know the breed of dog that's native to the mountains in the East? The small ones with the fluffy coat."

Ba-dum Ba-dum Ba-dum Ba-dum Ba-dum Ba-dum.

"...What?"

Oops went on a bit of a writing spree whoopsie daisy's!!!!

But ANYWAYS you get the jist. Tobirama sits there really really confused while Izuna talks his ear off. Like Izuna cannot physically control himself from the yaps. Like their convos are 25% Izuna angrily insulting Tobirama for some sort of information and 25% is him Snarkily yapping about anything that interests him and 50% willing him to open his eyes in silence, like way to close to Tobirama's face. (It's a scare tactic, obviously!!)

Tobirama is originally upset confused and pissed off till Izuna brings up Madara. Tobirama is like "This is my chance im gonna learn all their weaknesses" Izuna complains about how Madara idk is way too strict with routines or something and Izuna was just a little tiny itsy bitsy bit late and he got chewed out. Its not like Izuna did it on purpose‼️ Usually he's very punctual (kind of) but a bunch of suitors kept bothering him‼️ oh uhmm btw bc he's like 19-20 (he was like 24 when he died i think) now and bunch of people of the clan want to get married to him bc Madara has made it clear he won't be taking any wives and threw them all on Izuna, anyways isn't it so rude for Madara to be mad at that like its his fault anyways that Izunas late and omg you'll never guess what he said during training too.

So Tobirama has technically picked up some good information but not really like what he was expecting? He knew that he'd have to read between the lines to try and actually get any actual info that would help him but he just really doesnt know what to do with what he was told. Like he didn't want to know that Madara keeps getting into arguments with the lady that trades fruits in the North East East centre of the Uchiha district over how 1 watermelon should not cost 26 apples. But uhh... its nice to know??

At some point Izuna storms into the room and yells at Tobirama cause Izuna assumes that Tobirama has used that weird idiot fucked up brain of his to make a jutsu that forces Izuna to yap. Like, Izuna can be a little yappy sometimes but it's never this bad and NEVER to a prisoner what did that bastard do to him‼️‼️

This whole time Tobirama actually assumed that it was some stupid tactic to make him talk, but apparently Izuna is under as much stress as he is. Well, not really but he's in an amount of stress that is not insubstantial

I cant think of anything else for this one someone do it for me!!!!

OR if we go the Senju kidnapped Izuna route it could just be Tobirama trying to get information from Izuna and all Izuna will talk about is random bullshit that's kind of relevant and maybe a little helpful but like only really specifically. Like the Senju are totally prepared to fight that one Uchiha with the three ponytails who snores, not loud, but really squeaky like.

They think Izuna is just immune to intimidating tactics but in all reality they're working, but working in a way that he's like "If I'm being interrogated cruely here then what's happening to the Uchiha what if they're all dead omg oh no omg" he just misses his home and he doesn't know if Madara or the clan is okay without him there he is literally in the worst state of his life and when hes anxious he starts to yap and its especially bad when he's with Tobirama. Like the words are just flowing out neither he nor Tobirama can stop it. Like at some point Tobirama isn't even trying to use scare tactics anymore he just sits there and listens to Izuna anxiously waffle about literally everything. Like just when Tobirama thinks he has spoken about literally everything that can be spoken about but somehow Izuna just keeps talking.

And like at some point Izunas throat is a little raw bc he has been speaking non stop for like two weeks and he's trying desperately to keep quiet, he's like spaced out multiple times and not realised what he's been saying for all he knows he's told Tobirama all of his clans secrets and hes getting more and more anxious and just when Izuna manages to stop his 1 hour rant about the bird that used to follow him around and shit on his food there's just like a minute of silence that Izuna desperately wants to fill with the rest of the story about the bird (He still has yet to tell Tobirama about the bird somehow projectile shitting onto lamb he had yet to trade, but bc of the crap on the meat nobody would take it and he swears he heard that bird laughing he KNOWS it!!!!) And he's tweaking trying to keep quiet, till suddenly Tobirama starts talking!! He's lowered his guards!!

Ofc Tobirama isn't going to like tell Izuna all of the clan secrets, but he tells a short tale about Hashirama gambling his shoes away to a six year old child and having to walk home shamefully while Tobirama stared on in silence. Izuna, who has only seen Hashirama in the most serious of circumstances, almost crys from laughter (his vocal cords are DYING) Izuna, after getting a drink of water then tells a story about Madara getting a squirrel tangled in his hair, and not noticing the crying critter for about 5 hours. After this event there was then a game among clansmen, "How many things can we put in Madaras hair before he notices" Tobirama thinks this is hilarious of course, and the both of them bond over their brothers being absolute fucking idiots.

And in like a meeting where everyone wants to know what information Tobirama is getting, and he, who is still on a high after sharing a good laugh with his prisoner, tells everyone about the game. Now- they have word that there will be a battle in the land of ice quite soon, (why? I don't know why are you asking me) and Hashirama feels all left out,,, he wants to stuff random crap into Madaras hair too!!!!

Madara, of course, is so not happy about this WHERE the hell is his brother he is tweaking the fuck out and this battle will be the one where Hashirama dies. The clan has literally been in the worst panic ever since ever and nobody is okay. Even the mean fruit lady looked upset!! They have seventeen different invasion plans and all of them are gory and very sort of glass half empty situation. Like everyone genuinely believes Izuna is either dead or dying and has been traumatized on every level.

Hashirama however has different plans (apart from the plans to put feathers in Madaras hair) see he's a smart lad and he's noticed that Tobirama is a lot more chipper than he used to be. And being the good brother is, he spies on them both. And it was heartwarming!! I mean it was a little mortifying hearing his beloved brother and Izuna laugh at the time Hashirama tried to cut his own bangs and absolutely tear him to shreds but after he got over that he was absolutely giddy!! They're just like Him and Madara were back then frfr!! This could be their chance for peace!!! I mean, out of all of them Izuna was the one who was the most against a peace treaty!!! He doesnt seem too against it now seeing as he's comfortable enough to have general banter with Tobirama!!! Oh well they're quiet now, wait no they're not, holy shit are they making out wait what no maybe its not like him and Madara uh oh maybe he should leave this feels a little private um. Uh..

I don't really want to think of the details on how Izuna actually gets out cause that sounds boring so like Hashirama probably assured Madara all is well or whatever and said some talk-no-jutsu shit to calm Madara down and bring him to some peace grounds or something and get Tobirama to get Izuna back. Which Tobirama doesn't want to do but despite Tobirama being funny and interesting and so cool Izuna really really wants to see his brother and clan mates again and he will chew through Tobirama if it means getting home.

Anyway I'm thinking the war ends with like Izuna getting sent from the Uchiha to marry Tobirama as like a peace offering or smth. The Uchiha are like really sympathetic towards Izuna like "Oh we're so sorry it had to be you this must be so hard for you I saw how you were like totally interested in the women of the clan" and Izunas like "Ikrrr its so terrible I'm sooo totally sorry i couldn't marry any of the girls of the clan boooo :("

Happy ending, TobiIzu are together, Izuna can yap freely, bc of the newly opened trade paths the price of watermelons has lowered to 14 apples, Madara has multiple caterpillars in his hair and almost all of both of the clans have lost respect for Madara and Hashirama and now treat them as those silly guys and not powerful political figures.