#but ive been needing to explain that for months
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happy solvermas
#cause t. no actually if christ is the son of god and the solver is god then it'd be like uzimas#quick sketch i pulled out of my ass yesterday to see if i could get myself out of art block/burnout/whatever ive got going on#v was added after cause i had no idea how to work her into the scene#implied nuziv or something look man im just desperate about this ship#and i dont know how to draw fluff or whatever#im so bad at romance i dont know how to express it#but i've been desperately trying to draw nuziv for the past months#i think this is actually like some of my best linework yet im really satisfied with everything right now#been a long time since i've felt that#turns out the “stop overthinking every pixel of the expressions and just draw the approximation the audience will get the jist” approach wo#ks#something something n is the star of their life. tree light chrismtas#it is taking. All of my restraint right now#to not be So Mean to all of you#You Don't Even Know#I Could Do Something. I Might Still.#art#murder drones#murder drones uzi#uzi doorman#murder drones n#serial designation n#murder drones v#serial designation v#murder drones cyn#i need liam to explain whether cyn and the solver are the same person already so i can tag them appropriately its driving me nuts#oh yeah cyn got a plush core to chew on by the way#the idea of giving her a chew toy was rolling around in my head and i think its a very funny visual so here we are
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you remember this in blood of olympus right
#yeah they’re talking about bryce lawrence#happy belated birthday nico#ive been working on this for like a month#i hope you all enjoy#this is so stupid#idk if this is a bad joke but it made me laugh so maybe I am terrible#it just needed to end w octavian getting his ass flung into the sky#i cant explain it#it was my artistic choice#the audio is from dimension 20#misfits and magic#evan kelmp#he is my favorite#very nico coded#pjo#nico di angelo#hoo#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson#heroes of olympus#animatic#pjo series#reyna avila ramirez arellano#coach hedge#octavian
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Okay hear me out (other people have basically already said this but hold on this is my post)


We're getting very clear messages that indicate something might be... wrong with Clancy. During the US leg via the FPE letters we heard a lot about how Clancy was inspiring the masses, and now it kind of seems to be the opposite. Torch explicitly saying we destroyed them so we didn't become them.
Plus Tyler now wearing black shirts, with imagery that seems to relate to Blurryface songs. The occasions last tour where his "Clancy" shirt was black text instead of red. The Blurryface account tweeting again this tour. The bishops taking over the Judge that one time, trying to hijack a moment that celebrates the clique (irl banditos). Paladin Strait, which apparently is not supposed to sound like an ending, which concludes with Clancy being named explicitly by Nico, and which shows a version of Tyler in the mv literally sitting above it all & seemingly mirroring people's movements from other shots.
I see your "Clancy becomes a bishop" theories (I love bishop!clancy to be clear I think it's awesome) but I think that might be too esoteric to end up being the explicit canon (I could also be wrong and it will be, but functionally the rest of the point here is the same). The thing is, Clancy is pretty simply intended to be a version of Tyler that extracts and represents certain traits, just like Blurryface. We know Blurryface to be insecurity. Clancy has never been said explicitly afaik but I think it's clear he represents Tyler's drive to create things that inspire people (despite crushing obstacles like mental illness - Dema and the bishops, and especially with the help and inspiration of others - Torchbearers and the banditos (us)). Which we know can be incredible, but can also become self-destructive. We were introduced to Clancy at first cryptically through his personal writings, and only explicitly after a long time (and after being told he'd "died" by the characters that represent Tyler's mental health struggles, which, depressed creatives iykyk) because I think owning your creativity and ability to inspire others is a much more arduous journey than being controlled by your insecurity. But Clancy was never intended to be a different type of character despite all that. He is a version of Tyler.
And just like Blurryface he gets his own namesake album. A lot of people have pointed out how the Clancy and Blurryface tracklists can actually be read to mirror each other. As the lore progressed Blurryface became Nico (and the other 8 bishops) battling against Clancy, but they're all abstractions from Tyler's mind. Both literally, in the sense that he is literally the one coming up with the story, but we're also reminded of this on both Bandito and Overcompensate with the "created this world" bridge. I believe this is also what we're seeing represented in those shots in the Paladin Strait mv. There's also the fact that the Clancy era is extremely extremely red - this in lore represents Clancy's process of reclamation as well as his (violent) uprising, but in tøp's wider context it is kinda just The Blurryface Color along with black.
Blurryface turns 10 immediately after the Clancy tour ends. We know the Clancy tour to be the reflection of "someone's life flashing before their eyes" and that this album was supposedly meant to wrap up the Dema storyline. I do not think this means Clancy dies. Because he is Tyler, and he cannot die, because for that to happen I think Tyler would have to never write or make anything again. And we also know this to be a cycle. I think what's happening is what's always been kind of obvious, and inevitable. I think Clancy is going to become Blurryface. I think he's already been Blurryface this entire time. They're the same person at different parts of the cycle, and I think we're going back to the start of it.
#(and all of this is potentially leading up to an anniversary re-release of blurryface which may in fact be clancy ultimate chapter 25#based on the doubt demo coming out -ik that was also because of tiktok but i don't care about her and let me have this-#+ tyler randomly posting jon bellion and yungblud. idk im just sayinggg)#twenty one pilots#tyler joseph#josh dun#blurryface#clancy#all of this seems like im also just stating the obvious but i think that's because i only talk about the lore with ppl who agree with me 😭#i know there's still a legion of ppl who think clancy is legit dead which is like. i think u fell for someone elses depression propaganda#anyway we must always understand tøp as metafiction. yes i am pretentious#also that reality layer chart steele made that i can't find rn it's also that#i went back thru my own posts because i have goldfish memory and wasn't sure what id already assumed and posted about#and i did have some flopiana moments but it looks like ive been on this train (clancy becomes bf) since like last june. go me#if anyone remembers the bit where i was freaking out abt the jumpsuit mv. i think i had some valid points but also pretend u did not see it#i was too deep in the literalism and the Implications i needed to pull back#(ok fine i still think we've seen multiple clancys as the cycle has repeated. which explains the jumpsuit mv it's a different instance#i deleted my theory posts about this like months and months bc i worded them badly but i was right)
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Life is beautiful (bought tiramisu again)
#yap yap rsenak#i cannot explain vur ive been having such an unnatural obsession with it for the past month#maybe i need to find a recipe and just make it myself. when i have the time
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everything happens so much
#just. just gonna list out all the stuff currently stressing me out. in no particular order#need to do my taxes#brother and brother's gf are staying with us for the next few days#i dont have a good planner notebook rn and i need to order one#i need to back up my tumblr#canadian election currently ongoing#i need to sort out a thing with my bank account#need to call the pharmacy. goddamn it i forgot again#need to call my doctor's office also#plants need watering#extra +1 stress from the planner thing. idk when anything is and it's stressing me theeee fuck out#my boss is now asking me to do something that essentially amounts to 'get results' and idfk how to do that#and my OTHER boss wants me to prepare A Report on how math can be relevant to the company#and idfk about that either. dont know enough about our operations! i havent even been here 2 months!#i can make vague suggestions maybe but i dont know enough about anything to know how feasible anything i suggest is#she had me in for a meeting like first thing this morning like 'sooo.... tell me about your skills'#completely on the spot. i did not explain very well. i just rambled at her lol#pls. i need minimum 15 mins prep time to communicate somethibg like that effectively#didnt even think to mention my writing skills! ive got writing skills!#anyway that was terrifying#she did at least get the picture that i know a little about a lot of things#jack of all trades type skill tree#so. that is something.#personal
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Mancini describing how Edward IV "contrived many performances of actors amidst royal splendour, so as to mitigate or disguise [his] sorrow" ... historical coping mechanism unlocked 👀
#him being a sad party guy explains so much lol#unfortunately it also makes the task of understanding his inner thoughts/motivations much more difficult :(#edward iv#my post#lol this needs to be filed under 'posts I don't remember writing but have apparently been saved in my drafts for months' 🤷🏻♀️#english history#ig#15th century
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Hi is anyone else completely and holistically obsessed with the terrifyingly unsettling aura of the towns in the Appalachian Mountains or is it just me
I'm so drawn to them and I visit them as often as I can and I just... there's something that gets under your skin when your there it doesn't leave even after you do
#im getting the writers brain buzz about them#im so full of vibes and ideas that i cant even explain them#i made this collage to best describe what im getting at#i need to write a fic#ive been hording these pictures on pinterest for a month and they literally eat away at me#anyway#destiel fanfic#alex.note#supernatural#guys help its midnight and im literally vibrating#why does my brain only do this to me at inconvenient hours#horrornatural
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i haven't written anything for me in so long that i'm genuinely starting to feel like my soul is leaching out of my fucking body
#like no fanfic no oc stuff no nothing JUST SCHOOL. EMPTIES GUN IN THE AIR#like it genuinely makes me feel a little sick i cannot explain this. i feel like a little part of me is shrivelling up with every passing#month i havent really indulged in any real hobby outside of vidya games in a while#and even then.......... its not much#and its not like im at this massive loss u know its for good reason. im all as and bs in school#my new years resolution was to say yes to every plan and everything ive been invited to. im a very busy bee!#ive gone to more like parties and events and shit in the past four months than i did last year as a whole. i dont regret it#but like .............. its sad not to create#like idk i do hae this underlying sadness and yeah it can be attributed to ptsd or whatever but idk. this is different#this is sadness from not creating. I NEED TO FIX IT! BUT I HAVE NO TIME!
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Hello I followed you for the cr stuff but you mentioned seeing Angela in thousanaires and now I'm curious where you knew her from first? Like I originally knew her from starkid but then she dragged me to smosh lol
Also the great thing about candela is you don't have to catch up! The liveshow is completely stand alone, the only reason to watch one of the others first is if you want some more knowledge of the system/setting but that's totally not required
This started as a CR blog and should stay that way but I've definitely decided I can at least do Dropout stuff on here too 😅 I knew her through Starkid first! Got into them around when Black Friday came out (had heard of them for the classics like AVPM, but wasn't following them closely), more or less followed them through pandemic, watched NMT, NPMD, etc. And then in the last half year or so, I also followed the Angela Starkid -> Angela Smosh Pipeline courtesy of youtube compilations. Going from Lex Foster to Smosh Angela was. well. you know. An Experience. But yep, that pipeline got me too. So that's been happening. And that's why when Amanda and Shayne appear on Dropout I'm ALSO going to be insufferable 🫡🫡🫡🫡 sorry in advance. 🫡🫡🫡🫡 but not sorry enough to not do it 🫡
And that is GREAT news, I might just do that 👀👀👀👀. I did watch the first candela round, albeit kind of piecemeal, and it was delightful. And I've been vaguely following the other circles throufh my dash and been fascinated (the one with Brennan, and the one with. Old Liam. looked VERY interesting. 👀). So maybe I'll just jump right in with this one..... thank you for the heads up! :D
#i love cr a lot. but my lifestyle and attention span and brain chemicals recently have not been kind about consistently watching 4 hour eps#once a month though? theoretically more doable....#spar speaks#ask away!#angela giarratana#i absolutely didnt mean to but ive accidentally wound up watching pit/games/cast pretty regularly 😅😅😅#and i never know how to explain it to people because i need them to retrace my steps from starkid -> compilations -> angela compilations ->#angela smosh compilations -> other smosh compilations (probably the arasha one) -> oh theyve got your ass now#ANYWAY. thank you for the heads up about candela!! i might just watch it. ... not tonight. but. hmmm.#not cr#ish#dropout#thousandaires#i never really know how to /recommend/ other people starkid or smosh but i might get a bit more shameless about making references to it#this blog should stay cr/dropout though. if only for my own sanity
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this week has been an emotional roller coaster
#it started off with me being in the trenches and feeling like dogshit#ok so semester ended and I CHANGED LUNCH PERIODS SO IM NOT WITH MY FRIENDS (sad ik)#bc started swimming#luckily 2 of my old classmates are in my period#<- LIFE saving#and theres this dude that i somehow became friends with in 1 day#like you guys dont understand like this is wild i know ppl for months and are like just ok with them#i instantly clicked with this mf like#i’m surprised#anyways i’m not stuck with a qp crush on this dude#after 2 days (its been 4 by now)#god i’m such a boyfailure#and im also panicking now bc how tf would i explain qprs if ever needed like#its friendship+ but not really like iykyk type of deal#ITS SO WEIRD TO ME BC HE GOES OUT OF HIS WAY TO TALK TO ME AND I DO AS WELL#LIKE DAMN BRO IVE NEVER MADE A FRIEND FASTER SINCE 6TH GRADE
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so much for the self-imposed midnight deadline
#i dont think i ever properly explained what ive been cooking up but essentially the diploma program thingy im working towards requires#us to write a 4k word research essay on a topic of our choice#most of my projects and stuff tend towards stem because. hello . physics. so i was like “let me switch it up”#so im writing my extended essay as an english..thing?#essentially i gotta analyse a literary work#since im insufferable as fuck i picked nurture by protein ribosome <- not tryna clog up the tag with my ee ramblings#since it counts as a literary work if ur analysing the lyrics#its a huge like 18month project but they shifted up all the deadlines so i only really got a year since it ws announced#and...4 months since we were allowed to start working on it#the complete rough draft (4000 shitty words) is due this friday at 5pm for us and erm. im at 3k right now. and i deleted a bunch of stuff#i got a busy weekend and need to prep for that so i said id get the essay done by tonight and then be nice and fresh and happy tomorrow but#that is NOT working out because of BOOPING!!!!!!#anyways im cooked and i dont even like music anymore like im starting to lose my passion for it BECAUSE OF THIS DAMN ESSAY GODDDDDDDDDDD
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i feel like my weird unexplained health issues are getting to the point where scientists should be paying me to research me

red monkey magic on the turtle tank 👆
#anyways thats where ive been the last uh 2ish months *weakly holds a thumbs up*#i have like 5% energy i used to which was already minimal compared to most ppl... waiting on that cardiologist lolz#want to expand my art horizons but struggle with what i know so i think i need to just get decent at my furry art again#so i can open comms since idk if i can get a real job again at least for a while#since its just like overwhelming pain whenever i move... i feel fine for like 2 or 3 days at a time at the most#but even then. idk hownto explain further without giving out too much personal medical info lol#you know when goku had his heart disease? thats me rn
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anyway yeah relevant to that post abt being deaf/hoh and ppl excluding u from conversation bc of it (even unintentionally), that's smth that's been really deeply bothering me lately bc there are a few ppl I routinely have to deal with who do it a lot and it Pisses Me The Fuck Off I've lost all patience w them. giving up and calling it ableism and walking out idc anymore 🚶♂️
#theres a guy at work whos incredibly annoying for it but tbh hes bad at his job in general anyway n everyones annoyed at him all the time#so at least i get some solidarity from my other coworkers (who are generally rly accommodating of my deafness)#i dunno how he hasnt got the memo ive explained im deaf so he needs to face me n make sure he has my attention n enunciate multiple times#but nope still not getting thru to him! so half the time if he starts mumbling i just pointedly ignore him until he either speaks more#clearly or goes away lmao#and same with a friend of a friend im sure hes a nice guy and everyone else seems to like him n hes in our main discord server so i cant#avoid him as easily and ive been so tolerant of it but hes worn thru my patience entirely and idc abt trying to be nice anymore#if he comes on call and starts mumbling and sidelining me from the conversation i just put him on mute im not dealing with that anymore#i dont fucking care if its petty and rude to do that. im tired of trying to understand him and dealing with how left out he makes me feel#i hope he picks up on the hostility n feels unwanted so maybe then he'll understand what its like for me and fix his behaviour 👍#bc i have no other way of communicating that with him anymore. since I CANT FUCKING HEAR HIM!!!!!#he also has a lot of other annoying behaviour which is fine but this is my limit its so disrespectful and outside of my control#make space for my disability or go away forever#not sure if we could even be friends if he did change now bc hes soured my impression of him so much by this point.#sad! well theres other guys#im glad everyone ive met at climbing so far has been pretty good abt it. really not that hard to do!#anyway rant over lol. at least the guy at work is only on a temp contract so only have to deal w him for a few more months#unfortunately since the rest of that group is friends w this other guy he'll prolly be around longer. but oh well lmao#just crossing my fingers he'll drift away n never open discord again so ill never have to deal w his shitty crackly mic mumbling#or maybe he'll stop fucking calling from whatever wind tunnel hes in and properly join in on our movie nights instead!!!!!#it is sad bc i think he has similar music taste to me. there are def some things we have in common that could form a basis for friendship#but hes gone n ruined it innit#aaaanyway oops started complaining again... the bitch grind never ends#im gonna shower n go back to elden ringing it.... fare thee well#.diaries
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Nothing in this world is designed for me to live in it
#i want to kill myselffffffffff#ive been sick for 4 weeks i cant breathe i see a neurologist whos like you need vestibular therapy because you cant fucking walk#without falling over that aint right ok heres a referral. to where?? lord only knows. call everyone. try nyu rusk#ok. first number this office is permanently closed. second number this guy and i spend 10 minutes trying to get him to understand how to#spell my name. none of those doctors accept my insurance despite me being told to try nyu because they should accept my insurance#he suggests i get new insurance. i dont have the energy to explain i cannot afford 800 dollars a month for new insurance JUST for the#insurance coverage on top of paying co pays for the vestibular therapy. he gives me a number to call that can tell me if any of their#locations accept my current shitty insurance that doctors hate. 3rd number i call she yells at me says i need to FAX MY REFERRAL#im like uh does it have to be faxed she says I JUST SAID YOU COULD FAX OR EMAIL IT i say ok can you give me the email she says THE FAX#NUMBER IS- and i say please just the email i dont have access to a fax machine its 2025. and now its over an hour later im right back where#i started i have no further information and im waiting for someone to call me to tell me to go fuck myself
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today has been the first day in like days i havent gone to sleep in the afternoon then continuously force myself to sleep throughout the night
#okay well its technically *tomorrow* today since its 12 am but when i wrote this post it was 11 50 pm. anyways#i hope that today is the day i break this cycle that has been going on for like a week and a few days#i cant even tell if ive been even more depressed/having a depressive episode anymore#ive been slacking when it comes to taking care of my body and keeping my room not a mess#but then again its already hard to do those things to begin with but its even more noticable since i keep ... just sleeping#bc “i dont have much to do/i dont know how to spend my time”#which well i guess thats kind of true since my social life isnt that good. i have no friends to talk too. but like also i need to start#doing my essays....... keeping up with my homework has just recently been harder bc most of it has been recently assigned writing stuff#i guess me having a depressive episode could be possible. especially since ive been more active on reddit now#okay that sounds ridiculous for me to say but i swear theres context. except not really bc i cant explain this#and i rlly hate that website and have been off that place for years but i always come back for a few months when i get#even more insecure about the lack of people i talk too...lol#tags are getting long.... i should have my own journal by technically tumblr is kind of like my journal#but nobody wants to hear this and i know that but i dont even know why i continue to say shit like this lol#and writing in an actual journal is . hard. to commit too for whatever reason#im not even sure if i even dare try journaling because it might just make me feel even more isolated? and lonely? idk.#okay bye... goodnight everyone. ill probably still be online but im doing. Things i guess#Its okay if anyone doesnt read this though but. Thanks if did read this.#sunny.txt
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i swear to fucking god the hardest part of writing is trying to figure out where to start the damn story. like, chronologically, i know when things happen, but which part do i tell first. fuck
#ive been stuck on this story for like two months bc i dont know the best place to start.#there are a lot of ocs in here and i need anyone who tries to read this to actually care about them bc they are the main characters ffs#but i want to start with explaining their backstories so badly#enchanted dumbassery
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