#but like after seeing that clip of him saying he doesnt want a baby anymore n how weird it made him feel i just

[correct-bangtannies]

Namjoon: Peoeple keep asking if I have a baby, but to be honest I don't have any urgency to be a dad.

Seokjin: You already are...?

Namjoon: For the last time… the maknae line are not my children

[later]

Jungkook, writing: Dear diary, today marks the day we got disowned by our father-

[merscylilith]

Someone To Stay | " i will "

MIKEY SANO

Bonten!Mikey Sano x f!reader

Fluff, comfort, slight curse at the end.

" The day he met her, he is not hopeless anymore but, despise every crime for her "

Summary : Got a beautiful fate in unlucky number day' ? Surrender. Not to the police, of course to your only hope.

masterlist ^^

Manjiro Sano, the name that always combined with anything but mercy. He does not born evil but the time determined it. Could say the people around him too. Was an angel before the evil.

The chair was swirling side to side while the man with the invisible crown on his head read all the documents that his executive has been provided, more likely a report from his commission.

Platinum-haired man move with his expenisive leather chair, dragging his seat forward to get more comfortable before praising the hard works, " I always impressed with all the works you have done, Kaku. All cleaned and according to the planned. I have no more jobs for you ", Kaku just smiled at his boss's last word because he want to mock the trio, that he got free time ahead first from the boss, " BUT i want you follow me somewhere first "

The man with Kaku' name just being a speechless stunt when he saw his boss was surrounded by the flowers that have been decorated by the girl, y/n. There are no one in the shop as Mikey command you to put the closed sign, said that he want to spend time with you alone, what about Kakucho ? Well, to ensure Mikey's safety, in case.

Mikey was laughing with whatever you said, he doesnt know what's the funny thing that had been spit out from your mouth, it just seems so funny whenever he ooking at your happy face, " Mikey-san, if you were in the theatre at the time, you will non-stop laughing too ", oh, she talked about how you and your friend watching a horror movies in theatre, the movie havent start yet but you both shocked at the loud advertisement as you both unaware, which cost your friend almost sit down on your face when you helped friend held her phone, and it cause your glasses slipped out from the frame.

Now, when Mikey realised what's the funny thing, he laughed, so hard even Kaku looks at him in weird head tilted, he never saw his boss in that state. Good for him.

He realised that his boss keep staring at your head.

" y/n , can you give that butterfly clip on your hair, it s'pretty ", Mikey eyes really adore the clip, such a doe eyes he has, much to his bad tempted , " hm, i dont want give you this, this is so special to me ", yeah, the cliphair so much special to you, it was gift from your late mom, but after saw the disappointment in Mikey's droppy face, you had an idea,

" Welcome to Poppy Shop "

This shop which specifically for accessoriess is a heaven for you when still in high school. Not to mention, every items in this shop was make you miss your mom, yes, your mom always dragged your ass to this shop because, " we are not rich people, y/n, but items in this shop can make us feels like rich people, for example, you sad, buy a pretty thing, dont have much money for birthday gift ? Buy any accessoriess, make a collection, then, give it your friend ", her words really inspiring you to dress nicely.

" Look Mikey ! We can have this bracelet too, lets have this skull bracelet ", you shoved a skull black bracelet towards Mikey. Kaku didnt expect you will go to this "kind" of shop when Mikey offered to buy anything you want for your "idea". Thought, you would brought them to a luxury shop. "But, i want the hairclip same as you ", Miley's voice change to baby tone, it's like he being to..clingy with you ? Kaku just shake his head, tried not to bother the moment you both have.

" Kaku, choose anything you want. It's on me ", Kaku was freeze on his feet, did he saw it right ? His boss just smiled at him, like, it was a taboo for Bonten to see their boss being happy or even just a slight smile. Huh, i dont know why should i pick any of these, he looked around and most the items are just for a girl, he doesnt know any girl ? Oh, nevermind, he knew exactly these stuff for, whom.

The bickering voices from the hat accessoriess corner distrubed most of customers in the shop, all eyes on them, " Kaku, tell me my hat fashion sense are far way better him, right ?! Tell him , Kaku ?! Tell him ", your eyes were determined and fierce, " Hah, no one will wear the hat you chose, all bad and plain ", the poor man Kaku was fed up with all the drama that you and Mikey brought since the first step in this shop.

If he was being honest, Mikey was right. The hat you chose were, plain and bored. But he cant hurt the woman's feeling and also, disagree with his boss, can put him in risks. So,

" Guys, please, calm down. Dont make a scene, this will put us in danger ", hell yeah, you all dressed up with long sleeve and covered with face mask, it much more dangerous for Mikey and Kaku for spotted in public, they are the most wanted criminal after all. Kaku doesnt understand his boss, for why agreed with showed up in public. Kaku now all shivering, never been in his life being this nervous, more way nervous than carried the most important mission.

None of you listen to Kaku's words which left him with nothing but, hold your both wrist, and dragging you two out from that mall, doesnt care the curses word that have been threw to him from you both, i will deal with Mikey's punishment later, how brave Kaku dragged the boss harshly, it is humilliated for the scariest leader, Mikey doesnt really care after all. As you all already in car, silence.

After a minuste pass, Mikey command Kaku to take y/n home and he will sleepover at her house, that make Kaku in deep thought. What make you so special to Mikey ? Yes, sure he knew that Mikey a quiet mysteriou man but he jsut gained realization that Mikey more happier for the last few months, not know that you are the reason.

Now, he regretted that he finished his job earlier, become a dog assistant to his boss, and for this moment, it has been 15 minutes pass, " why this girl have to live this far " he whispered to himself as those two at the back just filled with silenced. Had he wondered, Kaku took a little peek from rear-viewed mirror, ah, sleep, he saw y/n leaned to Mikey's chest and he hugged y/n's warmly. Never asked Kaku, he feel almost tear up at the scene. He has been with his boss almost 10 years, this was his first time Mikey looks so warm with people, and that people , not a random one but you. His reasons.

At last, they arrived at the destination, he very thankful that those two were slept all long journey, because that would be a disaster as if none of them still get over the hats' bickering.

Living in a normal apartment, huh. Could says that Kaku kinda impressed that Mikey chose to stick with normal girl. Wokes you both up such a challenging to Kaku, need a good 3 minutes for each. Nothing compared to joy that Kaku had as Mikey dimissed him and wont be in work tomorrow.

" oh my, im so tired ", y/n yawn as she dropped all her stuff on the coffee table in living room. Mikey just plopped himself into the couch, his favourite couch, well, everything about you actually. " Y/n, you take a bath ? ", his gaze was on you who already almost pass out on the couch and barely listen to his muttering, " no ", " ew, you are digusting ", even in sleep y/n still can rolled her eyes, " acted like you will ", Mikey chuckled, basically, you were right, he also so lazy to shower at this late, " yeah, i wanna cuddle ", the man lift himself, lie and cuddled your right side. You just let him be, as you tired deal with anything in your sleepy state.

He is comfortable, really comfortable, he afraid that this just a dream. He cant sleep, he admire your peaceful face. Insatiable. The first phrase that came out from his mind when first met you. Unforgettable moment, when you threw a rock at his bodyguards for hovering a small man in the center, as you thought them try to get violent towards a small platinum guy, it catch his attention, people in the area are afraid of him as they knew who he is, but you, seems like not aware of who he is or his picture on the tv that you always seen in news drowned inside your brain.

He caress your hair, down to your forehead, soft point finger to your nose, swift your soft lips with his thumb. Close his eyes and move forward, kiss your lips gently, pure kiss. Hoping that he could stuck in the time just like this. Suddenly, you opened your eyes. Suprise ! You cant sleep as you feel tickled on your face.

He took a backwards movement, shocked at your sudden wide eyes. " kiss without consent now, dont we ? ", you didnt mind if he kiss you in your sleep or without consent because you always gonna love it. Your tease smirked make him want to smack down those smirk out of your face. " awww, dont be shy lover boy , now kiss me more ", you nozzle your lip and hold his shoulder so that he cant avoided it.

It such a fun to tease him. He swing his arms to avoid you, or even worse, pushed you down, off from the couch, now he getting more rougher on you. You suprise with his acts, so, you get up and hit him with pillow, the night turns to pillow fight.

Believe me, no one will cleaned it up. You both collapses after the fight.

It supposed to be good morning but, all body are cracked, Mikey already wake up and prepared a simple breakfast for you both, what makes you so lucky are , waking up with good breakfast and your boyfriend in white tee shirt and apron on, what a sight. A material of househusband.

" Good morning, babe ", you sneak your arms around his waist, "morning, babe, have a some breakfast first, we gotta go somwhere ", awww, arent he sweet ?

After the breakfast, you get into the bathroom real quick, wonder what kind of suprise he had for you.

The private amusent park. He had you in blindfolded, " it's suprised, so, no eyes, darling ", that's what he said before tie your eyes harshly as he hold a grudge to you as he lose the pillow fight with you last night.

After you both arrived at the private amusent park, he loose the blindfold, and that was the moment, you try hard not to sniff a tears, he will tease you later about this, no crying. But you can hold it, you hugged him, " i love you, manjiro ", he is the most happiest when you feel happy, " i love you the most baby ", he held your chin and tilted your face, hold a eye contact, there are hope and love reflection in his eyes, " stay with me forever "

You knew Mikey, mentally, physically and emotionally, what he has been through, A FATE, you both story are the same but different in terms of pain. You are really respecting him for everything he did, put aside the crimes just for having a moment with you.

" Dont lose from me, babe ",

" i am yours, why would i ".

Ah, your smile really warmed him up.

Ah, today is their 6 months anniversary, 6 is their lucky number, you both meet on 06062016.

At least, he have you, who will stay with him for the rest of his life.

+

" Kaku, where is Mikey ? ", the older akashi asked Kaku as they knew that Kaku became a one-day assistant to Mikey yesterday, they were in discussion for the mission that havent settled yet in Osaka.

He cleared his dry throat before answering the questions because after he come home, he stay up all night, well, he had some business to do, " he have a personal business , so, he wont come to work today and ", he not sure if he should tell or ask them, " Mikey with girl ", all the rest of bonten members just look at him in confusion, " you mean y/n ? ", on that make Kaku more confused how the pink-haired man knew your name. " Yes , why Mikey suddenly hanging out with y/n , like how ? ", Kaku's clueless expressions male them wamt to laugh so hard , " Kaku-chan, everyone already knew that Mikey have a girlfriend ", the giggle from Rindou make him feels so irritated somehow, " Kaku , kaku kaku , you are extremly concentrate with your works , you should be more enjoyable with your surrounding ", Ran rose from the seat and put the documents that he supposed to submit to Mikey but since he was not there, so, Sanzu it is.

Sanzu ? He seems so feel alike a boss today, with boss's absent, he became the one who control every movement. In addition, he in great mood, with strawberry milkshake in his gripped," y/n is pretty and nice, she also a florist. Might want to buy all her flower and send it all back to her house ", as usual with his manic laughed and his little pranks as he also close to you, he get to see you more when Mikey asked him to watch over you since the first day of Mikey want your informations.

Tch. Kaku so irritated with his co-workers for not telling him anything about it,a it's not important, but he doesnt want left out from the news about Bonten's personal life, " where do you go, baby ? ", Ran winked at him, as he ready to get out, he didnt response anything to those but,

" Ah, Haitani and Sanzu, you all might wanna see a little gift from Mikey as he want all Bonten' hardworks are appreciated"

The Haitani and Sanzu wont waste any second, they jumped from their seat and , went directly to their office room, excited as their lovely boss provided them a gift. Takeomi, and Mochi just only can shake their head at the attitude, Koko wasnt there , have a business to deal at overseas. But he might love the gift from Mikey as he get back.

" KAKUCHOOOOOOOO !!!! ",

The screams of Kakucho' name was vibrate through all up and down of the Bonten's Luxury buildings.

The Haitani and Sanzu's wasnt exactly received a gift but a rag dog with fake bloods and their printed faced was stick up to the doll's face.

All Kaku could do was, enjoy the music that he had put through his earbuds.

masterlist ^^

I dont know why i wrote this such in a rush state, so this wont be perfect. I also have prepared 2 stories with long series for the first time. The story will be a major different from my other story, (hinted), the first story about "hacker and the betrayer" and the 2nd, about "the obession with illegal games ", with dark content.

[miutonium]

Omg guys I really need to talk briefly about the PPG Movie. I actually never watched it as a kid because this movie didn't get release in my country and I actually didn't know they even have a movie until recently last year. I remember when I was a kid they kinda promoted the movie on CN by showing clips of the girls being interviewed seperately on a red couch and lmao my 6 yro brain thought it was cool and I didn't understand a thing at the same time because girly doesnt understand English so I actually didn't know it was for their movie.

Anyway, holy fuck this movie is everything to me because who would've thought a cute series about 3 little girls with superpowers has the saddest backstory ever???? I'm not going to talk about the plot in details, I rarher you guys watch it and understand the grief and pain I went through.

I honestly bawled my fucking eyes out after it ends because bITTCHHHH HOW DARE THE WHOLE TOWN TREATS MY LITTLE GIRLS LIKE THAT?????? 😭😭😭😭

I like how they build the girl's character here, when they were uh...born, all three of them look like a doll, you can't really tell their personality early on until the Professor assigned them their names. And I find it funny that Buttercup won't be as grumpy and tough as she is in the show if Utonium gives more thought into naming her lol. Also i won't shut the fuck up ever about this but I just love how Utonium just made them because he wants kids, he wants to be a parent and just raise them to be good kids. And him being new to the parenting thing (like legit he just thought of wow I want to be a dad because this town fuckin sucks and hours later procured a triplets in his lab) and he being very extremely freshly new to the parenting thing was like "oh shit it's their birthday I should get gifts!" When it clicked on him that it was their birthday and just ran out of the house to get them a car load of gifts while talking to gimself about how excited he is to be a dad (and also reminding himself not to leave the kids home alone anymore so after the incident he only leaves the kids with babysitters at home if he needs to go out at night)

It's so heartbreaking to see the whole town turning their backs on these innocent girls. They totally didn't know how the world works, they're literally 1 day old and poor Professor totally didn't know how to take care of them. They don't understand why people hate them and flew out and cry on meteors trying to process why everyone hates them. Idk seeing all three of them up there had me fuckin bawling like a dumb baby I am. I think I saw people say the Professor is bad at this time too because he didn't believe them and abandoned them and like honestly, no???? I don't accept Utonium slander in this house. He didn't hate them at all, it was just too much for him to handle in one day and he looks more like he is disappointed than he hates them and wants to get rid of them. If you ever notice, at the near end of the movie he ran back to the town with Antidote X and frantically looked for the girls to tell them he has ways to defeat Mojo. He didn't give up on them at all, he immediately ran home and quickly whipped out the Antidote from his lab and drove back downtown just to save the city instead of leaving it in chaos despite how much the people terrorised him and painted him as a villain. He still loves his native town very much and even though he is human, he wanted to give a helping hand to stop the rampaging monkey from destroying the city more. I wont shut the fuck up about Utonium in this movie ever ughhh 😩😩😩💕💕

I don't hate this movie at all despite the ill treatment on them in the middle of the movie. I really appreciate how their backstory has more meaning and also I don't blame on Townsville at all, I would be freaked out by them too. They have rampaging crimes and monsters visiting them by weekly. That's already a threat to them and then suddenly 3 little girls are rampaging the city while playing tag and this time they know who made them and you can arrest that person? I would be knocking on Utonium's door with picket fence and sporks and screams angrily at him too lol.

Anyway, 10/10 will terrorize my moots to watch this and made them cry too 🤧

[caxsthetic]

The Dumb One

Type: Short Clip (Blurt Drabble)

Cast: Miya Atsumu

Storyline: He currently away in another country for training and he whine to you about being late today. You call him dumb—but maybe, maybe you are the dumb one here.

Genre: Romantic Comedy

🎟️ ENJOY ANOTHER ENTERTAINMENT 🎟️

"You are what now?" You put the spoon in your hand to the bowl, worry linger on your voice as you heard him whine on the other line.

"I am late! And fuck I will not hear the end of this." Somehow even when the two of you are not catching eye to eye, you can see how his lips pursed into a frown.

Your boyfriend and some of his teammates from Black Jackals are invited to this joined training drill in the USA. He jumps ups and down like a child when he came home that day, immediately tackled you to the ground without warning.

"You wouldn't believe this!" He finally stopped pampering your face with kisses, hands cupping on either side of your cheek instead.

"Oh, yeah? Try me, you big baby." You giggled from his enthusiasm, booping his nose softly, eliciting a small chuckle to roll down from his lips.

"Ehem," He cleared his throat before pulling you to his embrace, one hand was now dramatically put on his chest, "I, Miya Atsumu, invited to a joined training camp with some other professional volleyball player in Ame—"

Before he could finish the words though, you were now the one who tackled him. He yelped a little from your sudden action, now confused as you circled both arms around his neck, nuzzling at his broad chest.

He parted his lips to ask about your sudden affection. Yet you beat his words in a second,

"I am so proud of you."

And he swore it was the best thing that he ever heard—because it came from you.

"Earth to 'Tsumu!" You raise your voice, and there is some crackling noise on the other line, "Goodness, please don't tell me he drops his phone."

"Sorry, sorry, I just dropped my phone." He answers truthfully, making you roll your eyes in annoyance (though your lips tugged into a smile, a total contrast indeed).

"Why are you late, though? You usually call me maybe around half an hour ago." You are now fixing your composure and continue to shove the cereal to your mouth as you listen to him.

"Bokkun being bokkun, decided to eat something extra spicy for BREAKFAST!" By just that information only, you can see where is this going to lead, "He is inside the bathroom for forty minutes! And dear god that smell after that— I need to borrow Omi's spray before I dive in."

You try to hold back your laugh, shaking your head as you can picture the chaos in the hotel room. It is his nightmare indeed to be on the same room with the rowdy wing spiker. And the fact they almost have the same energy makes everything worse.

"Are you still taking a bus, 'Tsumu?"

"Of course. Why?"

"Why...? You really ask me why?" You blinks, doesnt understand how his mind works, "You are late! Bet the others already arrive at the gymnasium now. They are using the metro, right?"

"Uhuh, they all prefer to see the walls and the tunnels."

"You are dumb." You blurt it out, of course doesn't mean it— okay maybe a little, but not really, "You are already late, and you choose to use bus instead?"

You expect him to whine and maybe blurt out some words. Or even maybe calling you dumb too without reason. Yet you are only answered with silence, "'Tsu—"

"The signal is bad." His voice is not playful anymore, "When we arrive at the metro three days ago, I realised that the signal is bad." You can catch the exhausted sigh on the other line.

"And...? Why do you need the signal so bad?"

He groans at your question, making your forehead scrunches up due to confusion.

"I told you that I am going to call you before and after practice, didn't I?" Oh, "And how I can fulfil that promise if I don't have signal?" I am such an idiot.

"Oh my god, I am the dumb one here." You mutter under your breath, and you know that he heard it by the soft chuckle at the other line. You want to apologize by saying that he was dumb by taking the bus.

Because you are the reason behind it. You are the reason why he had to take the bus even though it's not beneficial to him.

But Atsumu knows you, you are not the only dumb one in this relationship, he knows that so well.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*     ༶• ┈┈ ⛧ ┈ ♛ ♛ ┈ ⛧ ┈┈ •༶     *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

"Nah, it's fine. We both dumb anyway." He sighs, but now it sounds so gentle compared to before, "We just happen to be dumb for each other and that is something that I love from us."

At least you are his dumb, and he will never ask for another lover.

@muffins-puffins @vlovers-world @blacckdiamondposts @atsunflower @miyatsunami @iwaixiumi @hihiq @the-fandom-ness ​@quirksandbreaths @murasakibaraa @verbluehte @simp4tsukkii @ladyalicevii @evermorehaikyuu @clowninfortodoroki @koutaroulovebot @fitriiaw @mistypoison @aquariarose @greenleaf-fantasy @t-amajiki @kuraomi @haikyuuwithadashofart @starbybokuto @shiningstar-byulxx @nerdyphantomlady @raequii @akasuns @sunaschupet @macaronnv @spicyfoodboi

[pigstepmp3-moved]

the writers really did buck dirty in s01e02

its the post you’ve all been waiting for—my Aggravated Analysis Of Everything That Makes Me Mad about the Therapy Scene tm, now featuring some things that show just how emotionally and mentally fucked buck is. now, i know we All hate that scene with all of our hearts (buck deserves to have a Good experience w therapy for once, but thats just my opinion), but i wanna go into detail about what exactly makes me SEETHE about that scene, complete w gifs and screenshots so i can better explain myself. im putting it all under the cut bc its kind of A Lot, so click that “read more” if you wanna read my angry complaining

alright, lets set the scene (i know we’re all aware of the situation behind this scene, but i think its important to remind you all of it). season one episode two. bucks still very much a Huge horn dog. buck has also very recently suffered his First loss on the job and its taking a huge toll on him. i think what’s most important to talk about before we get to the therapy scene itself is the scene where abby’s watching him on the news with carla.

(not the greatest quality, but that doesnt matter). he very clearly looks uncomfortable just talking about what happened in such a Casual, No Pressure setting. he says, “i was just doing my job. i’m happy we were able to help the people we helped and i’m really sorry about those we couldn’t save.” he stutters a few times as he says it, looks and sounds very uneasy, which seems very out of character for him. he’s usually super confident and chill, but as he’s asked to talk about this (most likely) traumatic thing, he kinda clams up, yknow? theres also something in his voice that reminds me very heavily of the way My voice sounds when Im trying to force back tears, but that might just be The Way He Talks

another thing that he says that really stands out to me (i dont know if this is necessarily important to the topic at hand, but i wanna talk about it so whatever) is, “. . . um, i’m sure they’re just turned on by the uniform. you know, i don’t know if they would feel that way if they saw me out of it.” ignoring the more sexual connotations to what he’s saying there, let’s talk about what he most likely meant by that particular statement. he still sounds a little nervous as he says it and kind of avoids the reporters eyes. it sounds to me like this is a rare moment of buck’s insecurities being let loose. “i don’t know if they would feel that way if they saw me out of it.” this implies, i think, some insecurities about like.. every part of himself. it almost seems like, in this moment, he thinks his only redeeming quality is the uniform. which might actually be what he’s thinking right then, ‘cause he’s still trying to figure out how to cope with his first loss. i think theres some part of him, somewhere behind that overly confident persona, that has a lot more insecurities than he shows, but thats a conversation for another day.

now, let’s move on a little from that. what i think is very important and notable about that scene is some of the things abby says after watching buck on the news. first thing she says that stands out to me is, “i’ve been thinking i might want to call him to see how he is.” she’s worried about him. i think she’s probably been worried about him since the first time he was on the news, earlier that episode. and for good reasons, i think, because later on, she says, “. . . he needs help, you know? i mean, he’s got so much pain in his face. everybody’s treating him like a hero. he doesn’t feel like a hero. as far as he’s concerned, the guy that he was trying to save fell.” like, wow, just tear my heart out and stomp on it a bunch, why dont you? its such a wonderful and apt summary of what buck’s going through. to put it rather simply, he’s fucking distraught, and for good reasons. plus, that quote is one of the Big things that influenced my headcanon of buck having depression, and i could probably analyze every single scene bucks in in this episode that have added onto that head canon of mind bc there are at least a couple different things i could blather on about, but that’s some analysis for another post (if you’re interested in me talking about that tho, definitely feel free to let me know)

now, let’s move on a little further to the Dreaded Scene (i’d totally go into the scene that immediately follows the last one i talked about, where buck and abby are speaking on the phone, but i think i’ve emphasized my point of buck going through some shit in this episode to the point where that isn’t strictly necessary). for the rest of this post, i’m gonna kind of analyze every single little thing that buck does and says in the therapy scene bc pretty much all of it contributes to my burning hatred of that therapist.

like, yeah, no SHIT, honey!! as far as we, the audience, are concerned, this is the First time he’s EVER been to therapy. in my own personal experiences, my first time going to therapy was SO uncomfortable. and just looking at buck right here makes me feel uncomfortable, too—he’s fidgeting with his hands, looks to the side, looks down, looks up at her for a moment before looking away again. this boy looks nervous as hell, and for good reasons. he confirms that he is in fact uncomfortable, and then the therapist says, “well, that’s not unusual. you’ve been through a trauma. that’s why you’re here—to deal with those feelings.” remember that, because i’m not gonna go into the importance of that quote just yet.

the next thing buck says is, “uh, yeah, i’m, uh, i’m not really into feelings.” he kind of avoids looking at the therapist as he says this, though not as much as he did in that last gif. but his voice is like... uncharacteristically quiet as he says it.

more!! avoidance!! he keeps averting his eyes, looking anywhere that ISNT his therapist. and at the end of what he says here, he clenches his jaw a little. a nervous tick, maybe? i don’t know. as he talks here, though, his voice is, yet again, very quiet. he sounds just about broken right here, and it makes my heart ache so bad for him

after a brief break to check out what athena and michael are talking about, his therapist says, "i treat a lot of first responders—people who run toward danger—but maybe there's something you're running from as well? what is it about discussing your feelings that scares you?" the answer buck gives her? a very defensive, “i’m not scared.” if youre not scared, then why are you avoiding talking about your damn feelings like the fucking black plague? and when i say that he says it defensively, i mean, like, way too defensive to Not be suspicious

we don’t get to hear anymore about that particular question because next, we’re checking up on athena and michael again, and then we’re talking about something else. the therapist says, "you lost somebody. that's hard."

as he says this, he sounds fucking SAD. he sounds completely and utterly BROKEN. throughout this whole clip, he sounds entirely broken. the therapist asks if this was his first time. he responds with, "i mean, i've had calls where it was... too late, but, uh, but i've only been doing this not even six months. now, i... i just can't shake the feeling that this one didn't need to go down the way that it did." again, he sounds like he’s hurting really badly. this loss is really taking a huge toll on him and that is Very clear. she then asks him if he thinks there was something he could have differently. he doesnt respond, just looks up at her like this:

his eyes are a little red, and it looks like there are some tears in his eyes. like wow, you could murder me and it would hurt less than seeing buck like this

now, the next snippet is about where everything Starts Going To Shit (this is also the part where i start sobbing like a dumb baby, but thats neither here nor there). 

you see that shit right there?? if you listen hard enough, you can hear my heart breaking into a million pieces. from this point on, buck is CRYING. honest to god fucking CRYING. he looks like he’s hurting so badly, especially at the end of that gif, when he furrows his eyebrows. it looks kind of like he’s trying to keep himself from straight up Sobbing. i’m sure it seems almost like i’m dwelling on this for a little longer than necessary, but i think emphasizing how emotional he is in this part is very important to understand just how much the end of this scene makes me fucking SEETHE. this next little bit is where i start to transition from Sadness to absolute Rage

you see that? this is the start of my slow deterioration into madness. up until this point, everything about this therapy session was completely and entirely professional. but home girl decides, hey, yknow whats a good idea? waltzing my happy ass across the room, sitting down directly in front of my PATIENT, and resting my hand on said PATIENT’s arm. i dunno about you guys, but this seems terrible on so many levels that it isnt funny.

now, yknow what happens next? some classic avoidance from our boy. she calls him mr buckley, so he says, "it's, um... it's actually just buck." (after VERY AUDIBLY SNIFFLING by the way, but i digress). he then deflects even FURTHER by asking her if she friended him on facebook. 

“i thought you looked familiar,” he says. he’s no longer actively crying at this point, but there are most certainly still some tears in his eyes.

now, do you know what happens next, after a brief break to check up on athena and michael? the worst thing that could happen happens! i know it, you know it, little miss unprofessional sleeps with buck! and yknow what she says Immediately afterwards? “i can’t believe i just did that. i am so sorry.” like.... no! saying “sorry” doesnt change the fact that you TOOK ADVANTAGE of someone who is CLEARLY not in the right frame of mind to consent to something like that. yknow what he was doing the last time we saw him? crying. bc hes in a very vulnerable place in this episode. and yeah, sure, i guess you could make the argument that he was seducing her a little, but that doesnt change the fact that this is fucked up. now, side note about me, i’m only in high school and i’ve never had any job before, so i dont quite know the ins and outs of the professional world. but i do know a thing or two about common sense, so its pretty easy for me to assume that shit like this is awful on like a million different levels. i think the power imbalance is super clear to anyone who has any number of brain cells.

now, buck being as emotionally stunted as he is, says that she made him feel better (probably just for a few minutes, but thats neither here nor there). and yknow what she says? “you should go.” remember that quote from earlier? the one that i said was important and that i was going to go into later? “well, that’s not unusual. you’ve been through a trauma. that’s why you’re here—to deal with those feelings.” yknow what buck Didnt do? deal with those feelings. he talked about his feelings for maybe ten minutes, and that’s assuming that, during the cuts to athena and michael, the session was continuing and that it wasnt a matter of like, oh, this stuff is happening At The Same Time.

and all that is just During the session. we dont ever see the aftermath of it, we dont ever see buck talking about that session or anything along those lines. and we most certainly dont see him trying to go talk to a different therapist. the rest of what im going to be talking about this post is purely speculation, but i think its highly probable that this could all be canon. like i just mentioned, as far as we know, buck hasnt gone to another therapist after that shit show. additionally, we can also assume that buck really hasnt talked to like....... anyone about the shit he’s gone through, both past shit and shit that was brought up from this first loss of his. so as far as we’re concerned, he’s never properly worked through it all. he’s also probably never gotten any proper coping mechanisms to deal with any further losses. it seems a little too morbid to think that bucks just gotten used to the feeling that comes with losing someone, so i think its pretty safe to assume that, after every single loss he suffers, he gets like..... super fucked up, purely because he never talked about (a), the reason why hes scared to talk about feelings, or (b), how to deal with said feelings, especially when they’re bad. and thats not fair to him!! that loss clearly took a huge toll on buck, Most of the description of that episode is talking about the roller coaster and bucks feelings, but he never got to heal from it. if buck doesnt get something akin to a redemption arc, where he gets to see a therapist to properly work through all of his issues, i’m going to riot

anyway. thats all i have to say on the matter. i’ve been working on this for most of the day because i have so many thoughts and feelings about the way buck was treated during this episode. i will die mad about it. but i think i’ve said pretty much all i have to say on the topic now, so i hope my frustrated rambling was interesting or whatever to read. so, thanks for reading! ♥

[tumblunni]

Bunni’s Rune Factory 4 Headcanons Even More So

okay MISC CHARACTER HEADCANONS AND THINGS

* first and most important one: arthur and dylas consider porcoline their adopted father just like margaret does, and they all see each other as siblings. Its never actually stated in canon but IT HAS TO BE TRUE OKAY * I wish Illuminata, Bado and Pico could have been marriages in dlc or something. Thats not really a headcanon but I wanted to mention it. * ALL THE GAY JOKES ARE NOW NOT JOKES BUT CANON. That is my headcanon. Stop teasing me with ‘lol isnt it somehow funny that they seem to be gay but arent’, and give me more actual being the what they are. Pico has a crush on Dolce, Doug and Dylas have a crush, Margaret is totally crushing on Forte, imagine a universe where all of that gets to be canon and not just a ‘joke’! And imagine if these characters that’re implied to be gay or bisexual could get to be gay or bisexual with regards to the protagonist too! If dylas, doug, margaret and forte could be marriageable no matter which gender you picked! Maybe if you could have some options that’re exclusively gay too? Perhaps pico is the lesbian marriage and I dunno.. bado could be gay because he’s kinda bara? XD Tho I think it’d be neat if frey could marry him too, i just wish he had a route in general. * Also i wish we could have been able to help Arthur track down his mother again and reconcile with her. It was mega heartwarming that you could help him discover that his mother loved him all along and only left because of outside cricumstances involving the controversy of arthur being the product of his father’s affair with a commoner, but still we dont know where she is now and whether she’s happy. I like to hope maybe she’s out there still alive somewhere, and maybe she collects newspaper clippings hearing about her son’s adventures as super businessman prince! And thus someday she hears that he moved to selphia and married frey the commoner, and maybe this leads to her deciding to come back and confess why she really left. And also maybe the marriage to the protagonist could help society get over the whole predjudice and stuff and arthur’s mum could regain a better reputation in the eyes of the nobles. or maybe she never does and she just ends up moving into selphia and never being able to return to her home city, but still its all ok cos at least she can hug her son and meet her new grandkid. * My thoughts for the guardians who didnt get much said about their past lives! For Amber the game says she ‘wanted to fly with ventuswill’ and thats at least more than we know for Dylas, but still its very undeveloped. My headcanon is that maybe she was a pilot? or like.. lived in an era before airships were actually invented, and was someone who dreamed of finding a way to make it possible. And her notes were discovered after she vanished, and ended up inspiring the person who ended up inventing the first flying machine! And even though now she can fly on her own wings, it could be heartwarming for her to find out about this and have a bit of conclusion to her life. I also headcanon that Amber’s relationship with Ventuswill was maybe more like an adoptive mother-daughter thing? I think it would fit with how strange and monster-like Amber thinks sometimes, even though she must have been human to begin with. I mean maybe thats just how the magic works and if you’re a weirdo who loves eating raw potatos and climbing trees to steal honey from beehives you become a butterfly?? But I think it could work if maybe she was an orphan who was raised by the native dragon and ended up a little ditzy because she hadn’t interacted with humans much until nowadays. like, maybe this was a period when ventuswill was mourning the first person who became a guardian (what order did it happen, actually...?) and she became more solitary instead of having this personal presence in the town. She flew off to watch over selphia from within the forest cave instead, and found an abandoned child by chance. And then once Amber had grown up she was always trying to drop her off at the town and make her live with her own kind, but amber would always find her way back. And ventuswill was like ‘aww shit no i ended up loving someone again’ and couldnt stop amber from finding out about the guardian ritual and doing it too. And like... the only reason ventuswill went back to the town was because now corrupted-amber is the boss of the forest area and ventuswill cant break through her magic to get back in. So amber’s sacrifice also helped convince venti to open up to other people again. *eternal sobbing* * And my headcanons for Dylas’s past are less developed, but I was considering maybe the idea that he was the last one to be guardianized? And by this point it had become seen as a tradition by the people of selphia, and they would like.. look for a human sacrifice, rather than it being someone who willingly did it. It was a very dark time in the town’s history. It was nearly the end of the town not because it was in danger, but because if they’d gone through with such a horrible plan it just wouldnt be selphia anymore. Those people wouldnt be worth protecting, it probably would have caused ventuswill to leave and never return. So anyway I was thinking maybe Dylas was some sort of weird loner fisherman on the edge of town that everyone hated, so they considered him the one who should be sacrificed. And he was so lonely and suicidal that he wanted to agree to it, just because he wanted to die and didnt care how. But then ventuswill put a stop to the angry mob and rescued him, and he regained his faith in people and found his first and greatest friend as he got to know her. So in the end he performed the ritual out of his own free will, after realizing she was the one who would be saved by his sacrifice. And she was haunted by the guilt that by saving him she’d inadvertantly caused him to go down the same path anyway, just for different reasons. And then Dylas is just way more happy nowadays because whatever reason the town hated him is now gone, and he’s seeing how kind and wonderful its become, and he’s never had so many friends before!! And he can still go fishing and hang out with venti, and even meet three other people who also loved venti enough to die, and bond over their super sadness together. Oh! An idea! Maybe Dylas was part of a different race of nomadic humans who travel in caravans, and the town treated him so shittily because they were racist fucks? I was just thinking how that could maybe be a reason why his monster form was a horse, if maybe horses were a highly respected animal in his home culture, and he’s all estranged from it and stuck living in a foreign land with a bunch of intolerant bastards. And it could be extra heartwarming cos nowadays he’s living in the future version of this town that is even more foreign to him, but nowadays that racial tension is less common and he’s actually been welcomed as one of them. And maybe he could have extra quests added to his rather short romance route, cos he could be trying to learn whether his clan actually survived and still exists nowadays. And then have a heartwarming reunion with the grandchild of one of his siblings maybe? look, everyone else in the batchelors got a big sad questline, why cant perfect tsundere horseman join them?? IT WOULD BE THE SADDEST OF ALL THE SADS * also it would be really cool if when you married the guardian characters your child could inherit monster powers! I’m still gonna forever headcanon that they do, even if they dont get any of the appearance traits. It would be so cute if noel/luna could poof into a tiny baby unicorn and dylas is just sobbing with pride :3 * also headcanon: I wish Leon’s fox statue guardians could move into the city after you marry him, and be like loving uncle babysitters to your child! the excuse would be like ‘we need to protect the next in the proud dragon priest lineage’. And maybe once they leave the temple they could be stuck in de-powered tiny pet forms of cute? * Oh and a possible headcanon that the name Leon is passed down from father to son in Leon’s family. That’d explain why that temple is called Leon Karnak. Unless it was renamed into a memorial to him after he sacrificed himself? But it could be cute if your kid with him was Leon Jr/Leona and had adorkable fox statue pets and was a prodigy champion in the buddy battle festival and made their parents proud. I HAVE MANY HEADCANONS! * Gahhhh I really dont know who I should marry! Arthur was the first one I dated and I really like him though I wish you could have a friend route with him where you still help him with his backstory problems, I dont feel like I like the ship as much. And then Leon’s backstory was so sad I feel guilty not marrying him, but Dylas’s marriage route was so BAD that I feel guilty not marrying him! He didnt get as many scenes as leon, so I wanna marry him instead so i can fly off headcanoning more scenes!! But gahhh leon!! I think I ship leon with female protagonist and dylas with the male one :P I might make two saves to try both. And a third save just to see what arthur’s route is like, though i still like him and female protagonist better as a brotp, yknow? Or maybe amicable exes. Or just people who dated once casually but didnt end up together. Or any way i could get the happy ending to his backstory stuff without having to date him, seriously why does everyone be backstory sad unless I date them?? Except dylas who DOESNT GET ANY SCREENTIME INSTEAD *pout* *....im gonna go back to the game and marry dylas aaaa * and everyone else * aaaaaaa * i just care so much about these characters * i think dylas might win cos marrying him also means my fave character porcoline becomes my father in law * i wonder if he’s at the wedding? that’d kinda confirm my headcanon dylas and arthur are like margaret’s adopted brothers. * I WANT EVERY FAM TO BE HAPPY AAA

[myentirelifeismeaningless-blog]

CHAPTER ONE When do you know that you are broken? I mean literally at a point where nothing anyone could do would fix things, would fix... You. I dont know why I am the way I am exactly but I know I have lived a far from normal life. I lost both my parents by the time I was 13. Thats where my story starts. Not because I want to emphasize the impact it had on me emotionally, mentally, or physically but because I honestly dont remember a lot before that time. Have you ever watched a movie while you were half asleep and fell asleep and the next day you remember bits and pieces but cant make sense of it? Well, that was my childhood. I guess I subconsciously blocked out a lot. Anyway... It was February 11th, 3 days before valentines day... I didnt come from a wealthy family so we couldnt always afford to do the fun stuff when it came down to school events and whatever.... This time was different. My mom was a diehard romantic, the kind that read those cheezy novels from the grocery store and the kind that would waltz around the living room with me and tell me how one day I would make someone the luckiest girl in the world. (You get an A for effort mom, not exactly the most accurate statement but it was a nice gesture.) Well, my heart fueled mother convinced my dad to let us get me a tux for the Valentines Day dance. I was excited. That actually doesnt do it justice, I was ecstatic. I had only been to one other dance at that point in my life and it was "5th quarter" some lame ass dance they did every friday after the football games. This one was different. I was in 6th grade, this was the biggest dance of the year for that grade, and Nikki (my first crush) was going, and she didnt have a date! (later she broke my heart by hooking up with one of my friends, moreless right in front of me. But that story is for another time...) Nikki was cute, extremely cute. She had straight blonde hair, was very petite, and was kinda shy. Ive always had a thing for shy girls, the intimacy that comes with them opening up about anything always made me feel sorta important I guess or loved or like I mattered, it made me feel something when I had gotten so used to nothing, ever. I had first period with her though, I wasnt popular or athletic or anything so I was entirely too nervous to say anything to her but I was going to make a move at the dance. I dont remember much about school that day but I remember waving at her in the hall and she gave me an amazing grin and blushed. I was restless with anticipation the rest of the day. My dad was out of town at the time. He drove a truck long distances to support two sisters, my mother, and myself and would been gone for over a week at times. My mom ("Mommy", yea I was a mommys boy) picked me up from school that day. We went home and spoke to my sister Lynsey briefly and then left for preperations, she was 3 years older than me and my family was pretty cool with the amount of trust they put into us so she had the house to her self until we were back. She didnt want to go because it wasnt important to her, I dont remember what she said but it broke my heart that she didnt care about the only real thing I had ever been genuinely interested in on top of the fact that it moreless downplayed my first romantic experience into something undesirable... I am truly grateful that my "little" big sister stayed home. We lived right off the only major higway that ran smack through the middle of the 4 cities in the area, just behind the local radio station, the tux rental shop was about 15 minutes away. My mom had already made arrangements for me to try on several of the more popular styles. (She was almost as excited as me... I may have told her about Nikki) She really was amazing, I was her only son and my Nana had told me about how my mother had wanted a little boy since she was playing with dolls as a girl. (I was her miracle and she dedicated her life to me, ... maybe a bit much as my sisters constantly accused me of being the favorite.) She was very chatty about the night on the ride there, motherly advice with girls and such... I was a bit embarrassed but I actually listened even though I was pretendinding to ignore her the whole time. I had to maintain what little sense of pride I had in at least being cooler than my parents... (Even though they were OG hippies and how TF did I compete with people that were so confident that they could smoke weed and fuck in the middle of a crowd...) She told me to be a gentleman and be nice to all girls but to make the obe I was interested in the center of my focus but not be so focused that I make her feel as if she was being watched. She explained that it was a difficult thing to master but she had confidence I was capable. She gave me a lot of other tips but my mind wandered as I stared out the window, my ruse was phasing to reality because adrenaline was kicking in more and more as the time passed. I eventually wasnt listening. This is the first time I have ever told anyone about this specific memory, it was kinda a personal keepsake but whats the point anymore... The last words I ever heard my mother actually speak in person were "Are you excited baby boy? I love seeing you like this!". Baby Boy was my mothers secret nickname for me. I didn't like being called a baby because I was the youngest and I was often excluded from things due to my age. She told me in confidence that being the youngest was a blessing because it meant that everyone else was there to teach me how to make things better than it was for them and that I would always be her baby boy. I still got mad when anyone else even mentioned the word baby in reference to me. It happened fast. It actually took me years to remember bits and pieces... Loud crunching noises. Grass. Mud. Bright lights and screeching. A large patch of grey leather. Red. A lot of red. Black. A man? Angel? Demon? "You're gonne be ok, we are going on a little ride. Have you ever flown before?" I couldnt speak. I could barely breathe. More black. I was unconscious for almost 2 months. We had been in an accident and as you have likely gathered my mom didnt make it. Someone had pulled out in front of us and in an attempt to avoid the accident she swerved to the left lane but there was another driver at the back left corner of our vehicle in her blind spot. She clipped them and it caused us to drive directly into the median. It was a large ditch. My beautiful, amazing, nothing to give but love mother died instantly on impact and I was crushed and mangled into a pile of broken bones and flesh. They told me I was "lucky". I did not feel lucky. I never have. It was another month after I woke up from the coma before they even told me anything. I was in intensive care, on more drugs than should ever be given to an 11 year old child, concussed, and had just been in a coma for weeks but I vividly remembering asking "Wheres Mommy?" when I woke up. My Dad had to leave the room and I didnt understand why at the time. I thought he didnt want to see me because I was damaged. I think this was the first time I ever actually felt lonely. The next week was a lot of laying in bed constantly being told not to move much and being fed morphine intravenously on the hour. Sometimes it would make me sleep, sometimes it would numb me a little but I still hurt a lot but my Dad stayed by my bed the entire time day and night and the "man" in me kept quiet to show him how tough I was. I hadnt been able to spend this much time with my dad in years. I loved it as much as I hated it. It was nearly a month before they told me about my Mom, after I was moved out of the ICU. I remember when my dad told me. He had someone stand outside and not let anyone in under any circumstance. I thought his instructions were odd but I still didnt understand. I screamed. It was a mixture of crying and screaming and sobbing. When my dad let me know about the accident and my mothers fate I thought I would literally die from the emotional pain. I had never had an emptiness like this before and it was devastating. My balance was thrown off. I actually felt like I was falling. My dad had to call in a nurse because I went into a panic attack, I suppose this is why they had kept it from me for so long. I didnt care what their reason was. I had been betrayed and lied to every day, every time I asked, every time I begged to see my mommy... This was the first time I remember feeling resentment, and it was towards the people I loved. Let me be clear, I understand their reasoning but look at things from the perspective of an 11 year old boy that had almost no friends except his mom. I was hurt by the ones closest to me. How do you live with that as one of your earliest memories? My new temporary home, Huntsville Childrens Hospital. The most polite hell one could ever ask for. Nearly a full year of pretending to be happy to see someone every time they came to remind me that I would never see my best friend, my mother again. A year of getting cut on, turned into a cyborg(I mean technically they screwed metal onto my body, so yeah... ), and various types of physical therapy before getting to go "home" (Im not sure if I can ever be at home again, not then not ever...). For real, I had to learn to walk again, more on that later though. In an instant and the few short months that followed my life was changed forever and I was thrown into experiences and emotions that no person should ever have to face. But I faced them, I had determination that was picked up off the old man but I had something else that few will understand. For those that do I am truly sorry, for whatever tragedy has befallen you it altered the very base foundation of your structure or so to speak it changed you completely and the person you were before is gone. Im talking about that trapped feeling like you are being held hostage by the world. You wake up, participate, dredge through life with no purpose, and prepare yourself to do the same again the next day. Because you have to. This feeling controls you and turns you into its slave. Everything loses meaning including relationships. I survived by dying. To be continued...