#but like. seriously u guys don't think i'm in high school do u....

[rollercoasterwords]

What r u gonna major in in college rae

screaming do u. how old do u think i am....i graduated from college 2 years ago lmao i majored in international relations & history

[taasgirl]

say something pt 1.

summary: although playing for the same club, pedri and y/n cannot stand the thought of being around each other. enemies to lovers for all my girlies out there - i got u

a/n: not proofread and all in english + more installments coming soon!!

"I told you I can't go out." Salma hadn't stopped bothering me about some party with the men's team. I had so much school to catch up on.

"Come on don't be a party pooper. You study every night and train every day." I spun my chair to face my laptop. "Seriously Y/N, it's only one night." Rolling my eyes, I continued writing my paper.

I had been at university for the past year or so, while simultaneously playing football. For Barcelona. I know, pinch me moment. But I was so determined to graduate high school, and get a degree. I wasn't going to let anything stop me.

Even if it was my dream profession.

The coaches and staff at Barcelona were very understanding, however they weren't too happy when I had to leave training early for lectures.

But I guess I make up for it, I'm the league's top goal scorer, currently on 21 in 9 games. A feat slightly unbelievable to my lecturers and classmates - they think it's insane that someone 'famous' would even bother with university, but I love journalism. Something about writing is so me. Especially topics that I love.

"Don't be a bum Y/N." Truth is, I really wanted to go, but I had already agreed to help one of my classmates with some work.

"I'm supposed to be studying with Alex." Salma instantly spun me around. "The hot one?" I didn't respond.

Alex and I had our fair share of flirty kisses and almost intimate moments, with Salma being our first and only 'fan'. Seriously her words not mine.

"Well bring him then. You two should loosen up. Literally everyone will be bringing a plus one." Now that would actually be a good idea, but he seemed like he really needed my help, and lucky for me, he didn't want to bother me so it would all be through facetime. I could study in the comfort of my bed, in my pyjamas.

"Sorry Sal, you have fun but I'm staying back." She scoffed, this happened a lot, she'd invite me, I'd reject, and then say, "You look really hot though."

"Wait so what did you write about?" I would be lying if I said this wasn't awkward. We had hooked up a few times, and yet each time we spoke to each other it was just as awkward as the last. The term 'friends with benefits' was definitely not applicable to us.

"Umm, mine's just about some of my teammates. You know, sports injuries and that sort of stuff." He smiled when I spoke.

"It's so cool knowing you." Awkward silence soon followed. "Hey uh, I'd really like to take you out. To dinner maybe? You know, when you're not busy being a professional and all that." Well I can't really reject the guy who's made me orgasm multiple times.

"Yeah sure. I'm sure we could go out after class one day." Yeah I was not going to go out with him.

After a few hours of studying with Alex I got a call from Salma. "Hey Alex, I'm getting a call, I'll message you later." Hanging up our facetime, answered Salma's call.

"How's hot boy? Have you fucked yet." She was slurring her words. Definitely off her face drunk. "Hey is this Y/N?" I replied to the voice, one of a man's. "Listen we need you to come pick Salma up, she's drunk." The boy on the other side of the phone said it almost annoyed.

"Who is this?" Immediately he replied, "Pedri. Now can you hurry? I'm sending over the address." The notification popped up on my phone, she was at a club downtown.

"I can't." Pedri didn't speak. I knew him from our minimal media interactions, but other than that, he had a reputation as a dickhead fuck boy. "What do you mean you can't?" Because I was so preoccupied with school and work, I never had the time to get my license.

"I can't drive, I don't have a license." I could almost hear him roll his eyes.

"Are you serious? How do you expect her to get home?" He was clearly pissed off. "Maybe be a gentleman and drive her home?" He groaned, obviously unwilling to do so.

"Don't put her in a cab. Drive her home, here I'm sending you the address." As soon as he received my message through Sal's phone he hung up. What a dickhead.

After about fifteen minutes, I heard loud banging at my door. Rushing over, Salma practically fell in my arms. "Y/N you won't believe the night I had." She needed to sleep, we needed to be at training by 6 tomorrow for fitness testing. I have no idea why she'd pick tonight as the time to get wasted.

"Thank you Pedri, I'll see you tomorrow." As I went to shut the door, he stuck his foot in, pushing the door wide.

"So I leave a party with beautiful women to drop your lightweight friend off, and you don't even offer me a glass of water?" His tone was condescending, as he followed me through our apartment.

"Yeah well, sorry for ruining your night." As I helped Salma into her bed, he leaned on her doorframe. "You know usually when I take a girl home it doesn't end like this." He smiled, that kind of dickhead-fuckboy smile. I didn't respond, walking under his arm as I made my way to the front door. I opened my wallet and handed him €10. "For the petrol, now please leave." I pushed the money against his chest as he scoffed. "I don't need your money." He looked me up and down. "See you later Y/N."

Salma and I successfully made our way to the Barcelona grounds, a round of water and plenty of bread slowly sobered her up.

"So how was your date with sexy classmate." I smacked her lightly. "Awkward as fuck. You'd think that someone who's seen me naked plenty of times would know how to talk to me, but I guess not." We walked past the front desk. "Morning. And it wasn't a date, just a study session."

Making our way to the changerooms, I made eye contact with a certain somebody. That certain somebody came over to us. "What do you want?" He looked at me puzzled, in a dismissive way. "Oh I'm not here to talk to you." He diverted his gaze to Salma. "You were quite the partier last night." She smiled at him, I have no idea how.

"We gotta go. Bye Pedri." I pulled Salma away from him. "You're literally gay stop making eyes at him." She looked at me as we sped walked through the hallway. "Doesn't mean a girl can't look." I rolled my eyes. I can't take this girl seriously sometimes.

By the time we had made it out to the field, everyone could tell that Sal was hungover. She wasn't hitting anywhere near her top speed and was very slow at our reaction training games.

Jonatan pulled her aside, and soon enough, she was escorted inside by our assistant coach. "Bring it in girls." I stood next to Lucy as Jonatan began a speech.

"It has come to my attention that there was a party last night." The girls began looking around at each other. "And I understand that you are young and want to have fun, but when alcohol or even drugs are involved, it becomes a problem for the club." Lucy looked down at me.

"I need you to all be aware of what you're doing. You are professional footballers, and now is not the time to be partying let alone drinking." The girls started to whisper to each other.

"And I especially need you to look after the kids here. They're young and vulnerable. If you see them in a less than ideal situation, you need to help them out." Jonatan didn't raise his voice, one of the reasons why he has been my favourite coach. "Now get back out there."

Training was tense, and by the time we had arrived inside Salma was lying on one of the physio beds fast asleep. "Sal are you alright?" She groaned, covering her face. "Lucy said she'd drive you home, but I really need to get to class." I gave her a quick hug before I headed for the showers and prepared myself before class.

It's hard being a student-athlete, or an athlete-student depending on how you look at it. As I left the building I saw Gavi standing outside.

"Hey Pablo." He turned around, immediately hugging me. Gavi was my first friend here in Barca when I joined the academy, and although we haven't kept in contact as much, I still consider him one of my best friends.

"Looking good Y/N. You off to school?" I nodded, signalling to my laptop bag clutched in my hand. "You're seriously the hardest worker I know." After a short conversation a car pulled up to the kerb. A short honk alerted us.

"Get in Gavi. Y/N." Hey, at least he didn't dismiss me. "Can Y/N come, we just need to drop her off at the uni. It's down the road." Before I could reject Gavi's idea, Pedri spoke up. "Yeah no. Come Pablo." Gavi didn't get in the car.

"Seriously Pepi, let her come with us. It'll be a short trip." Soon enough, Pedri agreed, unlocking the back door for me.

Pedri didn't speak the entire ride, and even though it was short, I felt completely unwelcomed. By the time we had arrived on campus, Pedri drove right to the communications building. I thanked him, and stepped out of the car.

As I began to walk away from the car a familiar voice called out to me. "Y/N wait up!" Alex ran up to me, and immediately pulled me in for a hug. I could feel Pedri and Gavi's eyes on me, the car hadn't moved.

"Thanks for the help last night." We walked into the building together and found our seats.

After a boring three hour lecture, I quickly made my way down to the exit. "Y/N wait up." I spun around, facing Alex. "Is now an alright time to ask you to lunch?" I could help but blush. Now normally I would've politely declined, but I am so unbelievably hungry, so I agreed.

"As long as you're driving I'm up." He smiled and brought me to his car.

"I told you that class boy was your guy!" Sal yelled at me after being dropped home by Alex. "When you aren't preoccupied by the dick-"

"Yuck don't say that Sal!"

"It's true, see he's a good guy. Hot too."

I pushed a pillow to her face. She was really too much sometimes. We were sat on the couch, relaxing until it was time to sleep. She was telling me about this incredible girl from last night when I heard a knock on the door. I got up and answered it. To my surprise Pedri was standing there.

"Uh, um you left this in my car." He handed me over an unfamiliar plastic bag, but after a quick look inside, I could tell that it was my sports bra and socks from training.

"Oh yeah, um thanks." We stood there awkwardly in the frame of the door until Salma came up. "Left them in his car huh?"

Pedri immediately tried to speak but his mumbles were cut off by Salma. "Leaving your clothes in one guys car and then going out with a different guy the same day is truly boss energy." Pedri looked at me concerned.

"He and Gavi drove me to class ok, so let's get inside. Thank you Pedri, I really appre-" "Come in Pepi! Take a seat." Salma cut me off and ushered him in. Looking down at me, he made his way to my seat on the couch.

"You know what guys, I'm actually gonna head to bed." Salma pouted at me. "Come on, it's only for a few minutes." I shook my head and went into my room, grabbing my clothes so I could take a quick shower.

By the time I finished my shower, I could still hear Pedri and Salma talking. I wrapped a towel around myself and made my way to my room. That was of course, until I bumped into him.

"Maybe look where you're going next time." He said to me, a look of disgust plastered on his face. "Get the fuck out of my house." He laughed.

"Yeah cause this two room apartment is a house. You seriously need to get a life." I pushed past him, opening my door. "Oh and maybe you should try and be welcoming for once. God knows it'll do you a world of good." I slammed the door after hearing his comment. I have no idea why I even gave him the time of day.

He's such a piece of shit. I'm literally a university student who also happens to be a footballer - a women's one at that. I have no choice but to live in a shitty apartment with my teammate. I don't have the type of money he has.

pls let me know if you like this! i'll update as often as possible and pls give me some requests! i'll write about anyone (m+f)!! thank you!

part two!

[miumura]

LOVING YOU FROM A DISTANCE — HEE FIC.

“one day, i will stop falling in love with you…”

S ☆ — Heeseung has liked you for ages, too long for him to even recall how. Sure, he should be confessing now, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t, especially if you have a boyfriend. So how is he going to tell you his feelings in only a span of a year before he leaves?

2 LOVERS? — best-friend!heeseung x best-friend!fem!reader

GENRE — high school au, bsfs to lovers to ???, he fell first, she fell harder (+ sort of right person, wrong time), angst, fluff

WARNINGS — brief mentions of insecurities (abt looks, way they act, etc), some people may be shitty …

FEATURING — beomgyu from txt, sunghoon from enhypen

WORD COUNT — 18K+ (18379)

SOPH — giving angst another try 🙏 and with lyfad being the one with the most votes on that poll, this is the fic you guys chose! you let me know if you chose the correct one 😊 (sona don’t speak u dont count u lyfad HATER 🤬🤬🤬) . also i looped the playlist i linked when writing so you know the playlist really hit 😜 anyways i hope you enjoy <33 !

ONE.

You looked at him, your gaze filled with admiration for Heeseung’s abilities. He had remained seated, skillfully plucking the guitar strings and producing a soft chord. As he glanced up, he smiled upon seeing your awestruck expression. You couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride for having such a talented best friend.

Whether it was academics, sports, or any other endeavor he pursued, he seemed to effortlessly excel in everything he did. His dedication and determination were inspiring, as he never settled for mediocrity. Being around him sparked motivation within you, urging you to push your limits and strive for greatness.

"Dang, you're good. I never knew you could play!" you exclaimed as he finished playing the guitar.

Heeseung smiled and put the guitar down beside him. "You know me; I'm always good at everything, but I don't mean to boast," he said. “You really don't know your best friend, do you?"

"Seriously, you're good at everything. It's hard to keep up with you," you joked, thinking about all the skills he possessed. "I wish I could play like you."

"It's not that difficult to learn. You're a quick learner," he reassured.

Eagerly, you suggested, "Could you teach me?"

"Sure, why not?" he agreed with a smile.

Excited about the opportunity to learn from Heeseung, you both decided to take some time for a quick guitar lesson. You sat right beside him, preparing to learn a few tips.

"Alright, let's start with the basics," Heeseung said, holding the guitar and showing you how to hold it properly. He hands you his guitar, allowing you to copy what he does.

You watched attentively, eager to learn everything you could. "Like this?" you asked, mimicking his hand position.

“Exactly, just position that slightly a bit more towards this way,” he scoots closer to you, propping the item correctly in your hand. “You’re doing great!”

"Now, let's learn how to strum the strings." He demonstrated a gentle strumming motion. "Try it yourself." He hands you the pick, watching over you as you try it out.

You nervously held the guitar and attempted to replicate his strumming. The sound was a bit off, but you kept trying.

Heeseung smiled reassuringly. "You’re doing great! Perfect for a first timer."

He patiently taught you the chords, giving you the encouragement and guidance that you needed. Even if you fumbled a bit, you gradually started improving the sounds. "Wow, that sounds much better now!" you exclaimed, surprised by your progress.

Heeseung chuckled. "See? You're a fast learner. Just keep practicing, and you'll be playing like a pro in no time."

"I just have to teach you a few more basic chords before I can teach you a song," Heeseung said, reaching over to take the guitar from your hands. However, before he could proceed, the door swung open, revealing Beomgyu. He greeted you both with a warm smile.

"You know," Beomgyu chimed in cheerfully, "if you really wanted to learn guitar, you should've asked me." He plopped down beside you, extending a hand towards Heeseung. "Hand me that guitar, Hee."

You exchanged surprised glances, amazed by the unexpected turn of events. Handing the guitar over to Beomgyu, you watched as he effortlessly adjusted his posture and strummed a few chords.

"I've been playing for a while now," Beomgyu continued, "and I'd love to share what I've learned with you."

"You know how to play guitar too?" you asked Beomgyu in surprise.

"Of course I do. Your boyfriend knows a thing or two," Beomgyu replied cheesily, earning a giggle from you. As the playful banter continued, Heeseung couldn't help but feel a twinge of discomfort, sensing himself becoming the third wheel. However, it wasn't an entirely unfamiliar situation.

Gradually distancing himself from the two of you, Heeseung settled into a corner, observing your interaction. He wore a gentle smile, occasionally chuckling at your playful mistakes and Beomgyu's teasing scolds.

In that moment, Heeseung couldn't deny the bittersweet longing within him. He wished he could be more than just your best friend; he wished for something more.

In the corner, Heeseung's heart felt conflicted as he watched your interaction with Beomgyu. Part of him wished he could be the one making you laugh and sharing those playful moments together. He couldn't help but wonder what it would be like if he were the one holding the guitar, strumming strings that would make your heart skip a beat.

He tried shaking the thoughts away, just as he easily did when he first found out you and Beomgyu were dating. But it was getting more difficult to accept it, rather than easily moving on as he should. Even if he’s happy for you, deep down, there’s still that silent hope that one day the stars will align and you will see him in a different light. But until then, he continued to cherish every moment spent with you, treasuring the friendship that was the foundation of it all.

And so, with a mixture of emotions, Heeseung chose to stay in that corner, watching over you and Beomgyu, silently wishing for your happiness, even if it meant his own heart had to endure a subtle ache in the process.

What else could he possibly do?

All he knows is that he must finally share something he's been keeping inside for a while. He knows he has to do it soon, before it becomes too late, even if the odds aren't in his favor. And he needs to know when it is the right time to do so.

TWO.

"Man, can you believe it's our final year already?" You exclaim, intertwining your arm with Beomgyu's as Heeseung quietly trails behind.

"I know, right? We've made so many unforgettable memories here," Beomgyu replies, his hair tousled by the wind.

"Definitely. This school will always hold a special place in our hearts," you say, noticing Heeseung's lack of response. "Come on, Heeseung, don't lag behind like that." You pause, grabbing his arm and pulling him closer to you. Heeseung cracks a smile, now walking beside you as you keep your hand on his arm, ensuring he doesn't get left behind.

Heeseung can't help but notice that if you continue to act this way, it becomes increasingly difficult for him to let go of his feelings for you. Instead of feeling numb or unaffected, he experiences a strange, growing sensation in his gut that intensifies with each passing day. Every little gesture or interaction from you brings a blush to his cheeks, causing his face to turn pink. As much as he wishes and wants to keep feeling these things, he can’t enjoy them for too long. All because of your relationship with Beomgyu, his other best friend.

Trios often come with their own set of complications, and deep down, Heeseung silently disagrees with the idea of it working out for you three. Being in a trio, especially when two friends are in a romantic relationship, usually leaves the third person feeling like an outsider. However, you and Beomgyu are unaware of Heeseung's hidden feelings. Heeseung was adept at concealing his true feelings.

Heeseung can vividly recall the day when Beomgyu asked you out and witnessed the joy that lit up your face upon accepting. He saw the radiant smile you directed towards Beomgyu, and in that moment, Heeseung had no choice but to smile back, despite the confusion and mixed emotions swirling within him.

He wondered why he couldn't be the one to bring that smile to your face, just like Beomgyu did effortlessly. Ever since that day, Heeseung has been pretending to be genuinely happy for you and Beomgyu, even though it weighs heavily on his conscience.

Heeseung carries a sense of guilt for pretending to be a supportive friend. Deep down, he yearns for something more, but he also grapples with the realization that his desires may never be fulfilled.

As time went on, Heeseung couldn't shake the feeling that he and Beomgyu were growing apart, and he believed that you were the cause of their distance. In his eyes, you became a huge barrier, separating him from Beomgyu. The bond they once shared seemed to weaken, overshadowed by the presence of your relationship.

Heeseung was convinced that Beomgyu knew of his crush on you. He remembers Beomgyu's comments whenever he gets caught looking at you with adoring eyes or speaking more softly when you are around. However, Heeseung had consistently denied any romantic feelings to Beomgyu, perhaps leading Beomgyu to pursue a relationship with you. Heeseung couldn't help but wonder if things would have been different if he hadn't denied his true emotions.

Heeseung wondered if it was his fault for giving up his chance. Perhaps he had been too hesitant, fearing the potential consequences of confessing his feelings to a longtime best friend. Heeseung couldn't deny that, if it were you, he would gladly accept his confession in an instant. However, he remained uncertain about your response. The fear of rejection and the possibility of jeopardizing the bond you shared kept him hesitant and apprehensive.

It was definitely his fault—at least that’s what Heeseung thought.

"Bye, Gyu!" you called out before heading off to your first period. Thankfully, Heeseung shared most of his classes with you, which he was grateful for.

"Bye, cutie!" Beomgyu playfully messed up his hair and quickly darted away before you could yell at him. It made Heeseung feel a bit uncomfortable, as he found it gross, but if he were the one saying those words to you, it would be a different story.

Heeseung knew he should try to suppress these feelings, but it was easier said than done.

"Come on, Heeseung, let's grab seats near the window." You pulled him along by the sleeve, leading him into the classroom. He couldn't help but smile at your enthusiasm, allowing you to take the lead.

How could he simply stop falling for you?

"Why don't we sit there?" Heeseung suggested, pointing to the two desks at the back of the classroom. You glanced around, noticing they were the only available seats left.

"It's a bit far," you remarked, but nonetheless, you walked over to the desks with Heeseung.

"Don't worry; if we take any notes, you can always look at mine," Heeseung reassured you with a smile.

As you settled into your seats, Heeseung pulled out his notebook and pen, ready for the class to begin.

"I hope it's an interesting class today," you said, glancing around the room.

Heeseung chuckled softly. "Well, I can’t say the same. With you by my side, any class becomes more enjoyable."

You laughed at Heeseung’s remark, giving him a glance. "You always know how to make me smile, Heeseung."

Heeseung's heart skipped a beat, but he quickly composed himself. "I'm glad to hear that. It's important to make each other happy, right?"

You nodded, a small smile playing on your lips. You playfully teased Heeseung, "Definitely. Geez, where did you learn these words from? Beomgyu?"

What a way to ruin the mood.

The mention of Beomgyu's name brought a slight pang to Heeseung's heart. It seemed like no matter the conversation, Beomgyu's name would always find its way into the mix. He couldn't help but wonder why it couldn't just be the two of you, free from the presence of his best friend. Was it wrong for him to feel a sense of dread whenever Beomgyu's name was mentioned?

"Nope," Heeseung replied with a forced smile, hoping to mask the feelings swirling within him. He didn't want to burden you with his internal struggles, especially when you seemed to be oblivious to any underlying tension.

You took his response at face value, assuming that everything was fine. Unaware of the mixed emotions he was suppressing, you continued to talk with him, leaving Heeseung to grapple with his unspoken feelings.

Heeseung knew deep down that he would forever be seen as just a friend in your eyes. Despite this painful realization, he couldn't bring himself to reveal the truth and risk losing the precious bond you both shared.

Each passing day, he endured the ache in his heart, all while putting on a facade of unwavering support and friendship. It was the least he could do for you to see you happy with Beomgyu. He didn't want to disrupt the harmony that existed between you and risk causing any rifts.

Even though it pained him with each passing day.

Is it bad to always wish for more?

THREE.

"Class is so boring," you whispered to Heeseung, unable to hide your lack of interest in the lecture. The monotony of the school routine had already set in, and it felt like another uneventful week.

"I know, right?" Heeseung replied, resting his head on his hand. He couldn't afford to let himself get too bored, knowing that you would probably ask him for notes once you snapped out of your drowsiness. He slid his notebook closer to you, diligently jotting down everything the teacher was saying.

"Thank you, Hee," you whispered, grateful for his assistance as you gazed absentmindedly out the window. You couldn't have asked for a better seatmate.

Heeseung hummed in response, stealing a glance at you and breaking into a warm smile.

Heeseung continued writing, his focus momentarily interrupted by the sensation of a cold marker tracing along his resting arm. He glanced over to find you grinning mischievously and drawing random doodles on his skin.

A soft chuckle escaped his lips as he pointed at one of the drawings. "What the hell is that?" he teased, referring to the lopsided smiley face you had sketched. You joined in his laughter, defending your artistic skills.

"Hey, don't judge my smiley faces! You were moving too much, so it ended up like that!" You playfully protested, pretending to be offended by his critique.

"Sure, sure. I could definitely do better. Give me the marker," Heeseung teased, reaching out to take the marker from you.

"No way!" you exclaimed, pulling it away from his reach. "Oh, come on! Let me show you my superior doodling skills," he pleaded, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

You playfully shook your head, resisting his attempts to snatch the marker from your grasp. "Sorry, but I don't think the world is ready for your 'superior' doodling skills," you teased, a smirk dancing on your lips.

Heeseung feigned a hurt expression, dramatically clutching his chest. "Ouch, that hurts! My artistic abilities are being underestimated here," he replied, mock offense evident in his tone.

You laughed, enjoying the playful banter between the two of you. It was moments like these that made you appreciate Heeseung's presence even more. He always knew how to bring a smile to your face, even in the midst of a dull classroom.

"Here, let me give it a try," Heeseung insisted, determined to draw something special. You relented, finally surrendering the marker to his hands. He gently took hold of your wrist, bringing your arm closer to him, and focused on creating the perfect smiley face.

As he meticulously crafted the drawing, his brows furrowed in concentration. However, despite his efforts, the smiley face seemed to take on a similar drooped appearance to the one you had drawn on him earlier. Heeseung's disappointment was evident on his face.

"Look—" he began to say, but you quickly interjected with a laugh, not letting him finish. You found it amusing that the smiley face turned out nearly identical to yours.

"See! I told you, it's the same for everyone!" you exclaimed, chuckling at the matching doodle he had created on your arm.

"It might be the marker's fault," Heeseung suggested, trying to find an explanation.

"Fault or not, at least we have these adorable matching doodles now," you replied, a warm smile gracing your lips. You moved your arm closer to his, comparing the two smiley faces side by side.

“They’re actually pretty cute,” Heeseung said with a smile, his eyes reflecting genuine warmth. He couldn’t help but find the simplicity of the smiley-face drawings charming.

"They definitely are," you agreed, admiring the simple yet endearing drawings. For a brief moment, it felt like there was nothing else in the world except the two of you, sharing a genuine connection.

“Oh right—Beomgyu’s basketball game is next week; are you coming?” You asked as the question finally popped into your head.

There was a basketball game already. Heeseung frowned, quickly regaining composure, so you didn’t notice. He didn't want you to notice the twinge of disappointment he felt deep inside. In that instant, Heeseung couldn't help but be reminded of the unspoken truth between you.

No matter how much he cared for you, Beomgyu would always hold a special place in your heart as your boyfriend. Heeseung, on the other hand, would forever remain in the background, a loyal friend with unrequited feelings.

He had grown accustomed to being the one in the background, supporting you both silently. But in moments like these, the contrast between his hidden feelings and the reality of your relationship with Beomgyu became more apparent, casting a shadow over his heart. It was a reminder that no matter how much he wished for something more, he would always be the one left behind, watching from afar.

As much as he wanted to be happy for Beomgyu and support your relationship, it was hard not to feel a tinge of sadness and longing. But Heeseung knew he had to hide those emotions to preserve the friendship that meant so much to him.

With a sigh, Heeseung forced a smile and added, "I'm sure it'll be a great game. I'll be there to cheer Beomgyu on." Deep down, however, he couldn't help but wish for a different outcome, knowing it was a distant dream.

You nodded, sensing a shift in Heeseung's demeanor, but you didn't press any further. It seemed like your words passed through him, as if he were lost in his own thoughts. The sound of the bell ringing didn't even register for him, further emphasizing his distant state of mind.

Concern crossed your face as you gently touched his arm, trying to bring him back to the present. "Heeseung, are you okay? You seem a bit off today."

He blinked, refocusing his attention on you, and mustered a small smile. "Yeah, sorry about that. I just got lost in my thoughts. I'm fine, really."

Though his words reassured you, a lingering worry remained. It was unlike Heeseung to be so absent-minded. As you both gathered your belongings and prepared to leave the classroom, you couldn't shake the feeling that something was bothering him—something he wasn't willing to share just yet.

"Let's meet at our usual spot, alright? I'm sure Gyu's already waiting," you said, getting ready to leave the classroom while Heeseung was still packing up.

Of course he'd be waiting.

"Yeah, see you guys later," Heeseung replied, attempting to sound cheerful, which elicited a faint smile from you.

Putting away his pencil case, Heeseung glanced at the oddly drawn smiley face and the random doodles you had playfully sketched on him. It brought a genuine smile to his face. However, as he let out a heavy sigh, he gathered his belongings and exited the classroom, making his way towards the usual meeting spot.

In his heart, Heeseung held onto the hope that his sincere smiles and friendly gestures would be enough to conceal his true feelings, at least for the time being. As he walked towards the rendezvous point, a bittersweet smile lingered on his lips. He knew he could still bring a small measure of happiness to your life, even if it couldn't be in the way he longed for.

Yes, he could do that, he reassured himself, even though deep down he couldn't help but wonder how long he could keep up the facade.

He shouldn’t have any trouble doing so, right?

FOUR.

It was the day. The day for Beomgyu’s basketball game, the one you’ve been worried about. Heeseung doesn’t understand why your boyfriend was a good player anyway.

“You think I should make a sign?” you asked, seeking Heeseung’s opinion.

“Depends on how big it’s going to be,” he replied, maintaining his nonchalant demeanor.

“I don’t know, maybe just like a small banner that says, ‘BEOMGYU ACE!’ It has a nice ring to it, don’t you think so?” You said, already excitedly planning how you would like to decorate it.

Hearing you use the term “Ace” for others always felt a bit weird to him. He’d listen to it very often now when you went to compliment Beomgyu. He couldn’t help but reminisce about the times you’d called him that—a little joke between you two. But it seemed like things had changed, and he had to accept it.

Although the word “Ace” seems to suit him better. You should’ve just made a sign for him instead, but he couldn’t bring himself to voice that desire. How would he do that anyway?

You didn’t know the slight wince that crossed Heeseung’s face as his back was turned towards you. He forced a small smile when he turned around, focusing on being a supportive friend.

“Yeah, I think that would be nice,” Heeseung finally said, breaking the brief silence. “I’m sure he’d love it.”

Heeseung would’ve liked it. A lot.

So there he was, listening attentively and giving you suggestions on how to decorate it. After all, it was Beomgyu’s important day, and you two had to do something to support him.

When you two arrived, the excitement was noticeable in the air. Heeseung found himself amidst a sea of people, sitting on the bleachers with you.

“I’m already nervous,” You say to Heeseung, not being able to shake off the feeling. You weren’t playing; Beomgyu was, but you couldn’t help it.

“I’m sure Beomgyu will do great; he always has,” Heeseung reassures you, grabbing the water bottle next to him. “Here, this might help you a bit.”

You took the water, taking anxious sips. Heeseung was right; Beomgyu was, without a doubt, a fantastic player. His basketball skills were undeniably impressive, and it was one of the qualities that initially drew you closer to him.

As the game was about to begin, the atmosphere in the gymnasium became charged with excitement. The sound of enthusiastic cheers and rhythmic clapping of hands filled the air. Heeseung and you stood up, joining the crowd in cheering for Beomgyu’s team.

When Beomgyu’s team made their entrance, you couldn’t contain your excitement. The radiant energy exuded by the team was palpable, and you eagerly searched for Beomgyu among his teammates. Your face lit up when your eyes locked with his, and you couldn't help but let out a squeal of delight. "Beomgyu!" you called out, your voice filled with admiration and support. He noticed you in the crowd and grinned, waving back at you with a mixture of pride and determination.

As Beomgyu's gaze met Heeseung's, a moment of acknowledgment passed between them. Beomgyu raised his hand and waved at Heeseung, a genuine smile gracing his face. Heeseung reciprocates the gesture, waving back with equal warmth, momentarily pushing aside his internal struggles.

As the referee blew the whistle and the game began, Beomgyu's determination was apparent in his every move. You could tell that Beomgyu was motivated to perform well in the game, not just for himself but also for you. The desire to impress and make you proud shone in his eyes as he prepared to take the court. It was evident that he wanted to demonstrate his skills and prove himself as a capable athlete, all while knowing that your eyes would be on him throughout the game.

Beomgyu's basketball skills were undeniably impressive, and it was one of the qualities that initially drew you toward him. His agility, precision, and finesse on the court were captivating to watch. You admired his dedication and natural talent, which made him stand out among his peers. It was no wonder that you were attracted to him, as his basketball prowess added to his overall appeal.

Heeseung, although standing beside you, couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions. He masked his true feelings with a supportive smile, even though inside, it hurt him to witness the connection between you and Beomgyu growing stronger. He couldn't deny the talent and effort Beomgyu put into the game, but a part of him longed for your attention to shift toward him.

Every now and then, Heeseung's eyes would unconsciously drift to you. He watched as you cheered, your voice filled with genuine enthusiasm. Your laughter and smiles were contagious, spreading joy to those around you. He couldn't help but feel a mix of happiness and sadness, knowing that he wasn't the one who could evoke those reactions from you.

Seeing you smile and cheer for your boyfriend, Heeseung couldn't help but feel a pang of longing deep within his chest. What was so different between him and Beomgyu? Is it because Beomgyu was more good-looking? Did he have the features that could make anyone fall for him and not him?

His thoughts were slowly eating him alive, as if they were gnawing on his skin. He quickly pushed those thoughts aside, reminding himself to focus on supporting his friends.

As the game reached its climax, Beomgyu's team secured a victory, and the crowd erupted into cheers and applause. Heeseung clapped enthusiastically, sharing in the jubilant atmosphere. He couldn't deny the pride he felt for his friend's achievement.

After the game, filled with excitement, you and Heeseung approached Beomgyu. The elation on your faces was palpable, but unbeknownst to you, Heeseung was grappling with inner turmoil.

"You did amazing!" you exclaimed, extending your arms for a congratulatory hug from Beomgyu. He reciprocated with a wide smile, wrapping his arms around you and lifting you off the ground, twirling you in a moment of pure joy.

Your infectious laughter echoed through the air, enveloping the scene. It was as if Heeseung blended into the background, a side character of your happiness, while his own heartache intensified.

Heeseung mustered a smile, trying to suppress the gnawing emptiness he felt inside. Is it okay for him to feel this way?

“I saw your signs; they made me play even better today,” Beomgyu giggled. Heeseung smiled, glad it helped him, even if it did just a bit.

He congratulated Beomgyu once again, his words filled with genuine admiration despite the turmoil within him. Deep down, he wanted to be the one who could sweep you off your feet, revel in the joy of your laughter, and share those intimate moments with you.

"Let's eat out!" you suggested enthusiastically once Beomgyu put you down from the twirl.

"I would love to, but maybe next time? Coach told me there's going to be a team dinner, and I don't want to miss that," Beomgyu explained with a slight pout.

Weird. Heeseung found it weird. Beomgyu rarely attended team dinners, despite being the ace player. The coach would always have to persuade him to join. Nevertheless, Heeseung pushed the thought aside and chimed in, "Aw, well, next time then?"

Beomgyu nodded in agreement, causing your frown to fade as you understood his commitment. "Alright, Gyu, make sure you eat plenty, okay? I'll go home with Hee."

As you turned to leave, Heeseung caught a fleeting glimpse of an indiscernible expression on Beomgyu's face. It was a mix of emotions that left Heeseung questioning his own perception. Was he imagining things, or was there something more to Beomgyu's look?

Maybe he was too tired from that game.

FIVE.

As Beomgyu's schedule became increasingly packed with various commitments, Heeseung couldn't help but notice how you sought comfort and companionship from him. While he enjoyed being there for you, a twinge of insecurity crept into his thoughts; sometimes he wondered if he was just a backup when Beomgyu wasn't available. However, he considered you his priority, so he let go of those thoughts.

"You won't believe what Beomgyu did today!" you exclaimed, frustration evident in your voice. You plopped right next to him, making him take off his headphones.

Heeseung tilted his head, giving you his full attention. "What happened?"

"He completely forgot about our plans again," you sighed, exasperated. "We were supposed to go to the movies, but he got caught up with his friends and didn't even bother to let me know. I checked his story, and he’s having fun with them. It's like I'm not even a priority."

Heeseung frowned sympathetically. "I'm sorry to hear that. It must be really frustrating."

You nodded, grateful for his understanding. "Yeah, it is. I mean, I know he's busy, but it hurts when he constantly lets me down. Sometimes I feel like I'm just a second option."

And that’s what he feels whenever you hang out with Beomgyu. The feeling of being considered the second-best option for such a long time weighed heavily on him. He wondered if you could truly comprehend his perspective and the emotions he grappled with every day.

"I understand more than you know," he replied softly, his voice tinged with a hint of vulnerability. "Sometimes, it can be really tough feeling like you're not the first choice. But please remember, you're incredible, and anyone would be lucky to have you as their priority."

You’d definitely be lucky, but he wouldn’t be. He considered you his number one, but did you? Definitely not.

"You know, Heeseung, sometimes I just don't understand Beomgyu." You sighed, frustration evident in your voice. "He can be so oblivious to my needs and feelings. It's like he's always caught up in his own world."

Heeseung nodded sympathetically, his gaze fixed on you. "I get it. Relationships can be complicated, and it's normal to have ups and downs. But remember, communication is key. Have you talked to him about how you feel?"

You sighed again, running a hand through your hair. "I've tried, but sometimes it feels like he doesn't really listen or take my concerns seriously. It's frustrating."

Heeseung's expression softened, and he reached out to place a comforting hand on your shoulder. "I understand how important it is to feel heard and understood. If you ever need someone to talk to, you know I'm here for you, right? Your happiness matters to me."

A small smile formed on your face as you looked at Heeseung. "Thank you, Heeseung. I'm really grateful to have you as my friend. You always know how to make me feel better."

Heeseung smiled back, his eyes filled with a mix of fondness and longing. "That's what friends are for, right? I'll always be here for you, no matter what."

Just friends, nothing more.

Heeseung, wanting to alleviate your disappointment, mustered the courage to offer a solution. "Hey, if you don't want those movie tickets to go to waste, I could go with you instead. We can make it a fun outing, just the two of us." He tried his best to sound cheerful, hoping to turn the situation around and spend quality time with you, even if it meant setting aside his own feelings.

You looked at Heeseung, surprise evident in your eyes. "Really? You'd go with me?"

Heeseung nodded, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Of course. I wouldn't want those tickets to go to waste, and besides, it'll be fun. We can grab some snacks, enjoy the movie, and have a great time together."

A mixture of gratitude and excitement washed over you as you realized you wouldn't have to miss out on the movie after all. "Thank you, Heeseung. That means a lot to me. I'm really looking forward to it."

Heeseung's smile widened, but deep inside, he couldn't help but wish it was more than just a friendly outing. Nevertheless, he pushed those thoughts aside, determined to make the most of the time he would spend with you.

It was time. Heeseung stood outside the theater, waiting for you to join him. He couldn't help but feel a mix of nervousness and anticipation. It was just a movie outing with a friend, but it felt significant to him.

As you approached, Heeseung's heart skipped a beat. You looked stunning, a smile lighting up your face as you greeted him. "Hey, Heeseung! Sorry for keeping you waiting."

Heeseung shook his head, a warm smile on his lips. "No worries at all. I'm glad you made it. Shall we go in?"

You nodded eagerly, and together you entered the theater. "I'll grab our tickets, and you can take care of the snacks," you suggested, prompting a nod from Heeseung before he headed towards the snack counter. He contemplated whether to get two small bags of popcorn or opt for a large bucket. Eventually, he settled on the large one, partly for its convenience in carrying, but deep down, he couldn't help but hope for subtle moments when your hands would touch while reaching for the popcorn.

Returning to you with his arms full of snacks, Heeseung couldn't hide his satisfied grin. You looked at the amount of snacks in awe, surprised he had gotten so much. Heeseung chuckled, realizing he might have gone a little overboard with the snacks. "Yeah, I might have gotten carried away with the popcorn. But hey, we won't go hungry during the movie!"

You giggled and took a handful of gummy worms, popping one into your mouth. "I appreciate your enthusiasm for snacks. You know me too well, Heeseung."

Heeseung couldn't help but feel a surge of happiness at your words. He loved how easily you could share these simple moments together. As you settled into your seats, Heeseung couldn't help but steal glances at you. The dimmed lights added a certain glow to your features, and he found himself captivated by your presence.

As the lights dimmed and the film started, you settled into your seats, passing the snacks between you. During the movie, there were moments when your hands brushed against each other while reaching for the snacks, bringing a subtle thrill to Heeseung.

You both shared a lighthearted laugh, enjoying the anticipation of the movie ahead. Throughout the movie, Heeseung laughed at the funny scenes, sharing popcorn and exchanging comments with you. He enjoyed the easy conversation, the shared moments of laughter, and the shared snacks. It felt comfortable and familiar, yet a part of him longed for something more.

As the credits rolled and the lights came up, you turned to Heeseung with a satisfied smile. "That movie was amazing! Thanks for the snacks, Heeseung. You always know how to make things more enjoyable."

Heeseung smiled warmly at you, feeling a sense of contentment. "I'm glad you liked it. It was my pleasure, really."

Leaving the theater, you walked side by side, engaged in lively conversation about the movie. Heeseung couldn't help but think about how wonderful it would be if these outings were more than just friendly gestures. But for now, he cherished every moment spent with you, silently hoping that one day the line between friendship and something more would blur.

"My Uber is about to arrive," you announced, glancing at your phone to check for updates.

"Alright," Heeseung nodded briskly.

"I'll see you tomorrow, okay? Thank you so much for keeping me company today." You expressed your gratitude, a genuine smile lighting up your face as you waved goodbye.

Heeseung waved back, watching you as you walked away. The chilly air nipped at his cheeks, but a warmth spread through his being. It wasn't just the physical warmth he sought, but the warmth that came from being in your presence, even for a short while.

As he strolled along with his hands tucked in his pockets, he couldn't help but reflect on the day's events. The shared laughter, the moments of closeness, and the genuine connection he felt with you brought a sense of fulfillment that transcended the wintry weather. He couldn't deny the happiness that blossomed within him, fueling his hope for a future where he could be more than just a friend in your life.

With each step, Heeseung carried the flickering flame of his feelings, knowing that one day he would have to summon the courage to illuminate the truth and reveal the depths of his affection and desire. Until then, he treasured the memories made and the moments shared, cherishing the warmth that enveloped him as he embarked on his journey towards an uncertain but hopeful tomorrow.

All he could do was hope. And that hope was ignited just because of today.

SIX.

Five months into the school year, the weird nature of your relationship with Beomgyu continued. The on-again, off-again pattern left you feeling confused and hurt. Sometimes he would be present, acting as if nothing had happened, only to suddenly vanish without a warning. It was a rollercoaster of emotions that took its toll on your heart.

Throughout it all, Heeseung stood by your side, silently witnessing your pain. He despised seeing you upset, especially over someone who claimed to be your lover. He wanted to be the one who could bring you stability and happiness—the person you could rely on without fear of abandonment.

"I don't understand why he keeps doing this to you," Heeseung expressed with a mix of frustration and concern. "You deserve so much better—someone who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve."

You looked up at Heeseung, grateful for his unwavering support. "I don't know, Hee. I keep holding onto the hope that things will change and that he'll finally commit and be there for me. But it's exhausting."

Heeseung reached out, gently rubbing his hand on your back. “You know, it’s okay to reconsider your relationship with him.”

As tears welled up in your eyes and you buried your face in your knees, you confessed, "I know, Hee. Love doesn't just vanish easily. Despite everything, I still have feelings for him. You know, I still love him."

Heeseung's heart shattered, resonating with your pain, though you remained unaware of his own hidden emotions.

“Yeah…love doesn’t disappear easily, no matter the obstacle someone could face,” he replied, forcing a bitter smile, careful to conceal his own feelings that mirrored yours.

Heeseung's words caught you off guard, and you looked up at him, wiping away your tears. "What do you mean?"

Heeseung hesitated for a moment, choosing his words carefully. "I mean, sometimes we hold onto love even when it hurts us, even when we know deep down that it may not be the best thing for us. It's difficult to let go, especially when our hearts are involved."

You furrowed your brows, trying to understand his cryptic message. "Are you...talking about me and Beomgyu?"

Don’t slip up, Heeseung.

Heeseung sighed, his gaze filled with empathy. "I'm just saying that sometimes we need to prioritize our own happiness and well-being. Love should bring us joy and fulfillment, not constant pain and uncertainty."

Why was his love for you hurting him instead?

You nodded slowly, the weight of his words sinking in. "I guess you're right. It's just hard to let go of something that meant so much to me."

Whew, he escaped that easily.

Tears welled up in your eyes once again, but this time they were tears of gratitude. "Thank you, Heeseung. Thank you for being there for me and helping me see things more clearly."

Heeseung gave you a warm smile, his heartache masked by genuine concern. "Anytime, YN. I'll always be here for you, supporting you every step of the way. Just please talk to him.”

“I’ll try.” You see him offering a hug, which you gladly accept. You felt comfortable in his embrace, feeling the tension in your body disappear.

You felt better, while someone else watched you two in anger.

It was Beomgyu. Why? He doesn’t even know.

Beomgyu hurriedly approached, his hand reaching out to grab your arm.

"What the heck, Gyu?" you exclaimed, caught off guard by his sudden action.

"Let's have a conversation," he said urgently.

"Out of nowhere?" you questioned, puzzled by his timing.

"Isn't that what you've been asking for?" Beomgyu retorted, his voice tinged with frustration.

Yeah, but after five fucking months?” You scoffed, not believing the words coming out of his mouth.

“Now, I've been distant, and I apologize for that. I've been trying to figure things out, but it's not fair to you. I don't want to string you along if I'm not sure about us anymore."

A mix of frustration and sadness welled up within you. "So, what are you saying? Are you breaking up with me?"

Beomgyu sighed, his gaze falling to the ground. "I... I don't know. I’m not saying that. I need some time to think and to sort through my feelings. That’s why I keep telling you to talk to me." Frustration starts to get to him, still keeping his grip on your arm.

Heeseung, who had been standing nearby, watching the tense exchange, couldn't bear to see you in pain. He stepped forward, placing a comforting hand on your back. "Hey, it's going to be okay," he reassured softly, his voice filled with empathy.

"Hey, let's step away from this for a moment," he urged gently, trying to diffuse the situation.

Beomgyu's eyes narrowed, his anger turning towards Heeseung. "What's your problem? Stay out of this!" He snapped, his voice laced with frustration.

Heeseung stood his ground, his voice steady. "I care about her, and I can't stand by and watch her get hurt. We both want what's best for her, don't we?"

Beomgyu clenched his fists, his expression filled with defiance. "Don't act like you know what's best for her. She's my girlfriend, not yours!"

Heeseung's gaze hardened, his protective instincts kicking in. "What’s wrong with you? It's not about me or you. It's about her happiness, and right now, she's hurting. So, I'm going to make sure she's okay."

Beomgyu's face hardened, a stubborn determination replacing his previous uncertainty. He loosened his grip, gritting his teeth. "Fine, but this isn't over. We'll talk, just not now."

As Beomgyu walked away, leaving you and Heeseung behind, the weight of the situation settled heavily on you. But with Heeseung by your side, offering his unwavering support, you found a glimmer of strength amidst the pain.

With determination in his eyes, Heeseung gently tried to guide your mind away from the heated argument, leading you to a quieter and more peaceful space where he could offer you the comfort and support you needed.

“You okay?” Heeseung asked, looking at your not-okay state.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” You said, lying straight through your teeth. You were not fine; how could you be?

“It’s okay; just be honest with me,” Heeseung said, sitting beside you.

Be honest. It's ironic for him to be saying such a thing. Was he being honest with you? Definitely not, but he argues that it’s for the greater good.

“I don’t think me and Beomgyu are going to work out,” you sighed, running your hand through your hair. “I think it’s over.”

“Oh,” Heeseung says, the only word slipping out of his mouth.

Heeseung's heart ached with conflicting emotions. He questioned his own motives, wondering why he still felt compelled to pursue you despite knowing that you loved Beomgyu so deeply. The weight of seeing you sad and torn between two people crushed him, as he couldn't bear the thought of causing you any more pain.

"Why am I even doing this?" Heeseung thought to himself, doubt lingering in his mind. "What's the point of chasing someone who will soon be my best friend's ex and still has feelings for him?"

Yet, as he contemplated these questions, he couldn't ignore the fact that you were his best friend, someone he cared deeply about. The bond you shared was special, and he cherished every moment spent together. It was that connection that made him question if he should listen to his doubts or follow his heart.

Heeseung wrestled with his conflicting feelings, torn between his desire for your happiness and his own emotional well-being. The uncertainty gnawed at him, leaving him uncertain of the path he should take.

Would he rather be a supporting character or a second love interest that gets pushed away?

The answer was clear. Maybe it was time to question his doubts—his doubts about pursuing you.

Maybe.

SEVEN.

"You're telling me you two got back together again?" Heeseung asked, trying to hide his disappointed tone.

He had hoped that things would have changed, that you would have realized your worth and moved on from the tiring relationship with Beomgyu. But hearing that you had reconnected with him only deepened his disappointment.

Heeseung's heart sank as he braced himself for the answer, knowing that it would confirm his fears. Yet he couldn't help but hope for a different outcome—a chance for him to finally express his true feelings for you.

"Yeah, we worked things out," you replied, oblivious to the underlying emotions in Heeseung's voice. “He apologized and got me gifts.”

Heeseung forced a smile, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. "I'm glad to hear that," he said, his voice sounding a bit strained.

You looked at him, sensing something was off. "Hee, are you okay?"

Heeseung quickly composed himself and nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Just... surprised, I guess. But if you're happy, that's what matters."

You reached out and touched his arm, concern evident in your eyes. "Thanks, Hee. You're such a good best friend."

Best friend. The words echoed in Heeseung's mind, causing a wave of frustration and longing. He despised how effortlessly those two words rolled off your tongue, unaware of the impact they had on him. It felt like a constant reminder of the boundary he could never cross and the role he would forever play in your life.

Heeseung yearned for a time when he could fully embrace being your best friend without the conflicting emotions that accompanied it. He wished he could accept his title and find contentment in it, but his heart yearned for more. The desire to be more than just a friend consumed him, even as he fought against it.

Every time he heard those words, a mixture of hope and pain washed over him. He longed for a day when he could call you more than just a friend, when he could openly express his true feelings without fear of jeopardizing the precious bond you shared.

"Yeah, your best friend," Heeseung replied through gritted teeth, his tone laced with a mix of bitterness and resignation. He tried his best to mask his true feelings and make it seem like he was content with being just that. But inside, his heart ached with unspoken longing and unfulfilled desires.

He will just continue what he’s best at. So he played the part, pretending that being your best friend was enough, even when it tore him apart inside. He swallowed his own yearnings, hiding them beneath a facade of acceptance, all the while silently hoping that one day you would see him in a different light.

"You want to go to the party tonight?" You asked, attempting to shift the mood and bring a spark of excitement into the conversation.

"What party?" Heeseung inquired, his tone slightly disinterested.

"You know, Mark's party. I heard his parents left for work again," you explained, hoping to pique his interest.

Heeseung hesitated for a moment before responding, "I'll think about it."

"Come on, it's our final year! Let's loosen up a bit and have some fun," you urged, hoping to persuade him to join in on the festivities.

Heeseung looked at you with a mix of uncertainty and longing. He wanted to be there for you, to make you happy, but the idea of attending a party where he might have to witness you with someone else was a painful thought. Nevertheless, he couldn't bear to let you down.

"Alright, I'll go," he finally agreed, mustering a smile despite the conflicting emotions swirling within him. "Let's make it a memorable night."

"Hey Heeseung, are you ready—" Sunghoon's voice interrupted Heeseung's frantic search as he opened the door. Sunghoon's eyes widened at the sight of the chaotic scene in Heeseung's room. Clothes were strewn all over the place, making it nearly impossible to find a suitable outfit.

"Heeseung, what the hell?" Sunghoon exclaimed, bewildered by the mess.

Heeseung sighed, feeling a mix of frustration and self-doubt. "I don't know, Sunghoon. I just... I want to find the right outfit, you know? Something that makes me feel good and confident."

Sunghoon shook his head, a knowing smile playing on his lips. "You're overthinking it, Heeseung. Trust me, you always look great, no matter what you wear. Just pick something and let's go have some fun."

"Who are you trying to impress?" Sunghoon chuckled, enjoying the sight of his friend's newfound determination.

You. He was trying to impress you tonight. Heeseung hesitated for a moment, the truth lingering on the tip of his tongue. But he couldn't bring himself to admit it, not even to his closest friend. "No one," he replied, trying to play it off casually.

Sunghoon raised an eyebrow, seeing through Heeseung's response. "You're a big liar," he teased. "But fine, I'll help you out. Let's find you something that will turn heads."

As they sifted through the clothes together, Sunghoon offered suggestions and shared his fashion expertise. Heeseung appreciated his friend's support and the distraction it provided from his own conflicted feelings. Deep down, he knew that impressing you shouldn't be his main priority, but he couldn't help but want to stand out in your eyes.

After a few moments of searching, he pulled out a well-fitting black button-down shirt. Its sleek design and subtle pattern added a touch of sophistication.

He paired the shirt with dark black jeans that hugged his frame just right, emphasizing his slender figure. The jeans were slightly distressed, giving off a cool and effortless vibe. Heeseung knew they were one of your favorite pairs, and he hoped you would notice.

To complete the ensemble, he opted for a pair of black shoes that added a simple touch to the overall look. They were comfortable yet stylish, striking the perfect balance between casual and put-together.

As Heeseung looked at himself in the mirror, he couldn't help but feel a surge of confidence. The outfit accentuated his best features, highlighting his charm and charisma. He knew he looked good, and he hoped it would catch your attention.

As they finally settled on an outfit, Heeseung looked at himself in the mirror, feeling a newfound sense of confidence. Sunghoon grinned, giving him a thumbs up. "Looking good, Heeseung. Now let's go and make some memories tonight."

Heeseung nodded, appreciating Sunghoon's friendship more than ever. "Thanks, Sunghoon. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Sunghoon shrugged with a playful smirk on his face. "Hey, that's what best friends are for, right?” Sunghoon and Heeseung walk out, walking side by side, getting ready to go to Mark’s house.

And as expected, Heeseung stepped into the vibrant atmosphere of the party, immediately engulfed by the pulsating beats of the music and the contagious energy of the crowd. The room was filled with colorful lights, illuminating the main room, where people were already showing off their moves.

He glanced towards the backyard, where Mark's large swimming pool became the center of attention. Laughter and splashing sounds filled the air as people cannonballed into the water or lounged on inflatable floats, enjoying the refreshing respite from the heat.

The party was in full swing, with friends mingling, sharing laughter, and creating memories. Heeseung navigated through the lively crowd, feeling a mix of excitement and curiosity. He wondered if you were already there, enjoying the festivities and embracing the carefree spirit of the night. As they continued walking, they spotted Mark, who soon noticed their presence.

"Hey, look who decided to grace us with his presence!" Mark exclaimed, pulling Heeseung into a friendly hug. "I didn't expect you to show up, man."

Sunghoon chuckled, joining in the teasing. "Yeah, I thought Heeseung was allergic to parties or something."

Heeseung shrugged, feigning nonchalance. "Well, you know how it is. It's senior year; I've got to make some memories."

Deep down, he knew he was lying. The real reason he had decided to come was you. Only your presence could have convinced him to step out of his comfort zone and immerse himself in the party atmosphere. But he wasn't ready to share that truth just yet.

Sunghoon chuckled, nudging Heeseung playfully. "Yeah, right. We all know there's a secret motive behind your sudden interest in parties."

Heeseung shrugged, trying to play it cool. "Maybe I just wanted to let loose and have some fun."

Mark grinned, oblivious to the unspoken tension. "Well, you came to the right place! Let's make some unforgettable memories tonight!"

As the music thumped in the background and the laughter of partygoers filled the air, Heeseung's gaze scanned the crowd, hoping to catch a glimpse of you. He couldn't help but wonder how the night would unfold and if fate would bring them closer or keep them apart. But for now, he pushed those thoughts aside, determined to enjoy the moment and make the most of the night ahead.

As Heeseung scanned the room, his gaze landed on you, and time seemed to stand still. You were in the midst of a joyous conversation, your laughter filling the air. In that moment, it felt like the entire party faded into the background, and there was only you, illuminated by the soft glow of the lights. He couldn't help but be captivated by your beauty, his breath catching in his chest.

Your smile reached your eyes, and the sight of it sent warmth surging through Heeseung's veins. He felt a mix of emotions stirring within him—admiration, longing, and an unspoken desire. In that instant, he couldn't deny the strong pull he felt towards you and the way your presence had the power to brighten his world.

Heeseung's heart skipped a beat as he took a step closer, drawn to you like a magnet. However, he quickly reminded himself to maintain his composure. Tonight was about having fun, not revealing the depth of his feelings. With a subtle smile, he made his way towards you, ready to just see you up close. He left Sunghoon with his group of friends, walking towards you.

"Hey Hee," you replied, your smile growing wider as you took in his appearance. Something about him seemed different tonight, and you couldn't help but notice how attractive he looked. His hair fell casually over his forehead, giving him a slightly tousled yet effortlessly stylish look. The partially unbuttoned shirt revealed a glimpse of his collarbone, adding to his overall appeal. As he settled down beside you, you couldn't help but appreciate his presence, though a voice in your head scolded you for even thinking about your best friend in such terms.

You shook off the fleeting thought, reminding yourself of your friendship. It was only natural to notice when someone you cared about looked good, right?

"You look great," Heeseung complimented, his words barely audible over the blaring music.

"Hm?" you tried to respond, straining to hear him amidst the noise.

Seeing your confusion, Heeseung leaned closer, his lips almost brushing against your ear as he whispered, "You look pretty tonight."

His words sent an unexpected shiver down your spine, and you couldn't help but feel a rush of warmth spread through your body. This wasn't the usual Heeseung you knew. There was something different about him tonight—a newfound confidence that intrigued and captivated you.

Lost for words, you simply smiled in response, appreciating the unexpected compliment. “You too,” you whispered in his ear, gaining a grin from Heeseung. He’s glad he looks great tonight; nobody else’s opinion matters now but yours.

"Where's Beomgyu?" Heeseung couldn't help but inquire, his curiosity getting the better of him as he searched the crowded party for any sign of his friend.

"He's off with his own friends. We decided to go our separate ways for the night," you replied with a hint of disappointment in your voice.

"Why?" Heeseung pressed further, genuinely wanting to understand the dynamics between you and Beomgyu.

You shrugged, a mixture of frustration and resignation evident on your face. "I don't know. He's got some friends he wants to impress, I guess."

Heeseung's heart sank a little at your response, knowing that you deserved better than being left behind for others. At that moment, an idea crossed his mind, and he mustered up the courage to offer it.

"Well, if he's not around, I can keep you company for the night," he suggested, his voice laced with a mix of sincerity and a hint of nervousness. Deep down, he hoped that you would accept his offer and give him a chance to show you a different kind of friendship—one that was unwavering and genuine.

You looked at Heeseung, surprised by his offer. A part of you wanted to decline, fearing that it could complicate your friendship. But another part of you, one that craved his unwavering presence, couldn't help but consider the idea.

A smile played on your lips as you nodded. "I'd love that, Hee. It's always a good time with you."

Heeseung's face lit up with a mixture of relief and joy. He couldn't hide the happiness that swelled within him at your acceptance. For a moment, he forgot about his own unrequited feelings, focusing instead on making sure you had a memorable night.

As the night unfolded, you and Heeseung found yourselves engaged in lively conversations, laughter, and shared moments that reinforced the deep bond between you. Heeseung went out of his way to ensure you felt valued and appreciated, his unwavering support evident in every word and action.

You couldn't help but notice how different Heeseung was tonight—more confident, more present. And you found yourself seeing him in a new light, appreciating the depth of his friendship and the genuine care he had for you.

As the party continued, you found yourself losing track of time, completely immersed in the connection you shared with Heeseung. The music blared in the background, but it seemed distant compared to the warmth and comfort you found in each other's presence.

Eventually, the night began to wind down, and the party started to thin out. You and Heeseung found a quieter corner where you could talk without shouting over the music. The atmosphere became more intimate, and the energy between you grew palpable.

You and Heeseung found a tranquil spot outside, settling down on the grass and gazing up at the starry sky. The twinkling stars illuminated the darkness, creating a serene backdrop for your conversation.

A peaceful silence enveloped the two of you, offering a respite from the blaring music that still echoed from the party house. The ambiance felt both calm and tinged with a hint of melancholy, causing Heeseung's thoughts to revolve around you. Concern for your well-being mingled with his own personal worries, making him feel an unexpected surge of boldness.

Under the night sky, as the gentle breeze swept through, Heeseung found himself captivated by the moment. The weight of his emotions and the intensity of his connection with you compelled him to embrace the vulnerability of the present.

Heeseung's gaze shifted from the stars to your face, his eyes filled with a mix of tenderness and determination. It was as if the night had emboldened him to confront the unspoken feelings that had long resided within his heart.

"I love you," Heeseung confessed, his voice carrying a mix of apprehension and sincerity.

Your eyes widened in surprise, caught off guard by his sudden declaration. Initially, you brushed it off as his casual sentimentality, assuming he was merely in one of those cheesy yet cringe-worthy moods. After all, it was dark outside, and the night had a way of making people more introspective and sentimental.

For Heeseung, it was a rare opportunity to release the weight of his emotions. It was the only moment he could unburden himself, knowing that you wouldn't suspect anything beyond a platonic exchange. It was his chance to express his true feelings without you realizing the depth of his affection.

You smiled, patting him gently on the back and reciprocating his words with a lighthearted tone. "I love you too, Heeseung."

But within Heeseung, a bittersweet sensation lingered. Why did your response feel so effortless, devoid of any romantic intentions? Why did those words, which he had longed to hear, now taste somewhat bitter?

He had always imagined that such sweet words, exchanged between two people in love, would bring joy and contentment. But instead, they evoked a sense of unease within him—a mixture of guilt and confusion.

"Are you okay, Hee?" you asked, concern evident in your voice.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry," Heeseung replied, offering a small smile to conceal the turmoil he felt inside. It was another lie slipping effortlessly from his lips, mirroring the ease with which you had spoken those words to him.

At that moment, Heeseung realized that you both shared something in common. The ability to utter those words without fully grasping their weight or the impact they carried. And perhaps, in that shared understanding, he found solace, alleviating some of the guilt that had consumed him.

EIGHT.

"It's been six months. College application responses are starting to come back, and it's making this whole month nerve-wracking," you confessed to Heeseung, your voice filled with anxiety. Once again, Beomgyu wasn't present, despite his promises. At this point, you had learned not to get your hopes up anymore.

"I'm sure your dream school will accept you. Results come out today, right?" Heeseung reassured you, trying to offer you some comfort.

"Yeah, for some schools. But I'm nervous about us not being able to get into the same school," you admitted, your worry palpable.

Heeseung shared the same fear. The thought of being separated from you, especially during such a crucial time in your lives, weighed heavily on his mind. Yet he never wanted to sever ties with you. You had made a promise to always stick together, no matter what obstacles you faced.

"Well, we're all going to pursue different professions, aren't we?" Heeseung reasoned, hoping to ease your concerns.

"I guess... God, it's almost time," you muttered, feeling the tension build as the moment of truth approached.

"Do you want to check alone?" you asked, contemplating whether you should face the results on your own.

"We can check our emails together to see if we get a response back," Heeseung suggested, offering to share the moment with you.

"That sounds good. Let's sit outside," you agreed, seeking solace in the open air.

"Heeseung, it's telling me to check my portal. Oh my god!" you exclaimed, feeling a surge of panic as you settled down.

Heeseung, who hadn't received any notification, calmly replied, "Oh, I didn't get anything yet. Just go check."

Nervously, you took a deep breath, your palms sweaty and your legs trembling. This was your dream school, and the anticipation was almost unbearable.

"Okay, I'm logging in," you announced, mustering the courage to face the outcome.

You entered your login information, your heart pounding with each key pressed. Heeseung watched you intently, sharing your anxiety even though his own fate was yet to be revealed.

As the webpage loaded, time seemed to slow down. The anticipation was palpable as you navigated to the admissions section. Your eyes scanned the screen, searching for the decisive message that would determine your future.

And there it was—a notification in bold letters, your heart skipping a beat. You clicked on it, and a mixture of relief and joy washed over you as you read the words: "Congratulations! You have been accepted to your dream school."

Tears of happiness welled up in your eyes, and you turned to Heeseung, beaming with excitement. "Heeseung, I got in! I can't believe it!"

Heeseung's face lit up with a genuine smile as he watched you get all excited.

"That's amazing! I knew you would make it. Congratulations!" He exclaimed, pulling you into a tight hug.

"I can't believe it! I got in!" you exclaimed, your eyes gleaming with joy.

“That was all you, YN! I’m so proud of you!” Heeseung beamed, a proud smile spreading across his face.

You couldn't contain your excitement, and a wide grin adorned your face. "Thank you, Heeseung! I'm so grateful for your support throughout this journey."

As the realization of your achievement settled in, you couldn't wait to share the news with your parents. Their pride and joy would only amplify the happiness you were feeling at that moment.

Curiosity filled the air as you turned to Heeseung, eager to know the outcome of his own college application. "Have you received your results yet?"

Heeseung shook his head with a hint of anticipation. "Not yet, but I'm staying hopeful. Now, let's focus on celebrating your success. How about we grab a meal together? It's my treat for your incredible achievement."

Your heart swelled with gratitude, touched by Heeseung's gesture. "That sounds wonderful, Hee! Thank you for always being there for me. I couldn't have done it without you."

As you entered your favorite restaurant, a sense of comfort washed over you. The familiar surroundings and inviting aromas instantly put you at ease. You settled into a cozy booth, ready to indulge in a well-deserved celebration.

Heeseung's words resonated with warmth as he encouraged you: "Order whatever you want, YN. Today is your day, and I want to treat you."

A smile played on your lips, appreciating his generosity and thoughtfulness. "Thank you, Heeseung. You're too kind."

Glancing at the menu, your eyes danced over the delectable options. From savory dishes to mouthwatering desserts, it was a tantalizing array of choices. You couldn't resist the temptation of your all-time favorite dish: savory pasta with creamy sauce and succulent grilled chicken.

"I think I'll go with the pasta," you declared, excitement bubbling in your voice.

Heeseung nodded, his own eyes scanning the menu. "Great choice! I'll have the same.”

While you excused yourself to use the bathroom, Heeseung's attention was drawn to the familiar chime of his phone. He retrieved it from his pocket and glanced at the screen, his heart skipping a beat when he saw the email notification. Curiosity piqued, he opened the email, his eyes scanning the contents anxiously.

As he read the message, a mix of emotions washed over him. The update from one of his chosen schools had arrived, bringing a surge of anticipation and nervousness. He couldn't help but feel a knot forming in his stomach, wondering what awaited him in that email.

With bated breath, he absorbed the words on the screen, his eyes darting across the lines. Time seemed to stand still as he processed the information, his heart pounding in his chest. As the realization sank in, Heeseung's eyes widened with a mix of astonishment and elation. He had been accepted into his dream school, the very place he had yearned to be since he was young. It was an incredible achievement, the culmination of years of hard work and dedication.

However, alongside his joy, a tinge of bittersweetness crept into his heart. The realization hit him that the school he had been accepted to was located in a different country, far away from where you would be pursuing your studies. The paths that once seemed intertwined were now diverging, leading in separate directions.

Heeseung couldn't help but feel a sense of longing and a pang of sadness at the prospect of being physically apart from you. The thought of not sharing the same campus, the same classes, and the same experiences together weighed heavily on his mind.

His mind raced with conflicting thoughts and emotions. On one hand, he was ecstatic about his acceptance and the opportunities that awaited him at his dream school. On the other hand, he grappled with the uncertainty of maintaining your close bond and the fear of growing distant due to the physical distance between you.

Is he just going to have to love you from a distance? Taking a deep breath, Heeseung reminded himself that change was a natural part of life. Sometimes, pursuing one's dreams meant making difficult choices and embracing new chapters, even if it meant temporary separation from loved ones. He knew deep down that both of you had your own unique paths to follow and that growth and new experiences awaited each of you.

As you returned to the table, his eyes met yours, and he mustered a smile, although a hint of sadness lingered behind it. He wanted to cherish every moment and every shared memory and support you in your own journey, even if it meant being physically apart.

As Heeseung observed your radiant smile, he couldn't bring himself to dampen your spirits on such a momentous day. It was your special day, and he wanted nothing more than to see you happy and free from worries. The thought of tears staining your cheeks again, especially after the pain you had endured over Beomgyu, tore at his heart.

He wrestled with his own emotions, torn between the desire to be by your side and the yearning to pursue his own dreams. It was a difficult decision to make, as his departure was never his intention. He had never wanted to leave you or add another departure to the list of loved ones who had left your side. Yet he knew deep down that he couldn't simply give up on his dream.

The opportunity that awaited him at his dream school was something he had longed for and worked tirelessly to achieve. It was a chance to grow, to learn, and to become the best version of himself. Heeseung understood that sacrificing his dream would only breed resentment and regret in the long run.

However, that didn't mean he would abandon you or sever the bond you shared. He made a silent promise to himself that, despite the physical distance, he would always be there for you, supporting you in every way possible.

Now, every time Heeseung catches a glimpse of you smiling, his heart will be torn into pieces. It was a painful reminder that he would soon no longer see you give him that smile. If Beomgyu wasn’t such a piece of trash, he would have something less to worry about.

NINE.

As Heeseung crossed off each day on his calendar with a red marker, a wave of sadness washed over him. It was a constant ache in his heart, a reminder of the remaining days he was going to be able to see you in person.

Whenever you visited and asked about his college acceptances, he would conceal his true feelings and claim that he was simply counting down the days until graduation. The lies weighed heavily on him, but he had become accustomed to masking his emotions from you.

You, on the other hand, were genuinely thrilled for him, believing that he would attend a school near yours. Even if you ended up at different schools, you were confident that your friendship would remain intact, envisioning moments where you could still crash at his place and keep in touch.

If only you knew the truth. If only you knew that a significant amount of time would pass before you would see each other again. It would be a separation so prolonged that the risk of forgetting each other lurked in the shadows. Heeseung couldn't fathom the thought of you slipping from his memory, but he wondered if the same held true for you.

Heeseung grappled with the daunting task of how and when to tell you about his upcoming departure. The weight of his secret pressed heavily upon him, and he knew he couldn't keep it hidden forever. But finding the right moment and method to reveal the truth was a challenge he wrestled with daily.

Should he plan a heart-to-heart conversation, choosing a quiet and intimate setting where he could lay bare his feelings? Or perhaps he should seize a spontaneous moment when emotions were running high and honesty seemed more accessible? Heeseung contemplated the various scenarios, each with its own set of risks and uncertainties.

He wanted to find the perfect balance between timing and your emotional state, ensuring that his revelation wouldn't overshadow any important events or milestones in your life. Heeseung wished for a moment when you could both be fully present, where he could express himself openly without the fear of disrupting the joy and happiness you deserve.

But as days turned into weeks, Heeseung's inner turmoil grew. The weight of his secret intensified, and the fear of losing you became more tangible. He knew that he couldn't delay the inevitable forever, yet the right words eluded him.

It was hard. Harder than he had expected.

But that was okay; he still had more time.

But clearly not enough.

TEN.

"I'm nervous," you chuckled, sitting under the familiar shade of the tree with Heeseung. It has become a regular spot for your daily hangouts, despite already spending so much time together every day.

Heeseung grinned, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Why are you nervous? You've never been nervous around me before."

You shrugged, fidgeting with a blade of grass. "I guess it's just this weird mix of excitement and uncertainty. You know, once school ends, everyone is going to be going their own ways."

Heeseung leaned back against the tree trunk, observing you with a gentle gaze. “Yeah, that’s true. But you know, I've always got your back. Even if we get different professions.”

A faint smile crossed your lips as you appreciated his words of comfort. "Thank you, Heeseung. I'm really grateful to have you as my friend. I knew you would stick around."

"I don't know what I did to deserve you," you chuckled, feeling the breeze brush your hair away as you sat on the grass with Heeseung.

What did Heeseung do to deserve you? Heeseung couldn't help but smile at your words, a mix of gratitude and self-doubt swirling within him. He looked at you, the person who had been there for him through thick and thin, the one who had always believed in him and supported him unconditionally.

“I could say the same for you.” Heeseung smiled bitterly, knowing he would soon hurt you, probably more than Beomgyu did.

"Say YN, what if I suddenly left without a word?" Heeseung's voice was filled with a tinge of sadness as he contemplated the question. The weight of his thoughts hung in the air, causing a ripple of unease to pass through you.

"All of a sudden?" You turned to face him, looking into his eyes with genuine concern.

He hesitated, his gaze shifting to the ground. "Yeah. What if?"

"You wouldn't." You stared off into the sky, listening to the birds chirp, as silence enveloped you both.

His heart clenched, feeling the need to break into pieces. Of course he wouldn't, but he had to. He watched as the leaves on the tree above rustled and gently fell, their descent mirroring his swirling emotions. He let out a bitter smile, unable to hide the pain in his eyes.

"Yeah, I wouldn't," he replied, his voice filled with a mixture of resignation and longing.

Your heart skipped a beat, a sudden surge of concern and confusion washing over you. Why did his question and response affect you so deeply? You looked at him, studying his face as the wind tousled his hair, adding a touch of ethereal charm. Your eyes met, and you found yourself momentarily captivated, unable to tear your gaze away.

Heeseung let out a soft laugh, a familiar sound that never failed to warm your heart. You felt a faint blush creeping onto your cheeks, the realization of your own emotions catching you off guard. Could it be possible that you were starting to develop feelings for your best friend? The thought seemed both exhilarating and terrifying, leaving you grappling with a whirlwind of emotions.

But no, you quickly dismissed the idea. It couldn't be. You and Heeseung were best friends and nothing more. The bond you shared was precious, and you were afraid to jeopardize it with romantic complications. It was just a passing moment, a fleeting thought that you would tuck away and bury deep within your heart.

"If you had to, I wouldn't mind. It's not like I could do anything," you continued, your voice tinged with a hint of resignation. "But promise me, Heeseung, promise me that you'll tell me, even if it's just a hypothetical scenario."

Heeseung's heart ached at your words, feeling the weight of your trust and acceptance. How could he break it to you? How could he shatter the harmony of your friendship with the painful truth? He wrestled with his own emotions—a battle between love and self-sacrifice.

"Yeah, of course," he replied, his voice carrying a mixture of longing and sadness. He let out a small sigh, a silent release of the turmoil swirling within him. Heeseung's frustration gnawed at him as he reflected on his missed opportunity to tell you about his impending departure. He couldn't shake the feeling that he had let another chance slip away, leaving him questioning his own hesitation.

"Why is it so hard to tell her?" Heeseung muttered to himself, his voice filled with a mix of disappointment and self-doubt. He knew he had valid reasons for his silence, but the weight of his unspoken truth weighed heavily on his conscience.

As he replayed the scenarios in his mind, he realized that fear had played a significant role in his inability to open up to you. Fear of your reaction, fear of hurting you, and fear of losing the precious bond you shared. It was easier to keep his feelings hidden to spare both of you the pain of saying goodbye.

But now, in the wake of yet another missed opportunity, Heeseung couldn't deny the growing frustration that bubbled within him. He understood that time was slipping away, and with each passing day, the impending separation became more inevitable. The longer he remained silent, the harder it would be to find the right moment to reveal his truth.

He had to let you know.

ELEVEN.

“So you’re telling me that after breaking up with your ex, you started having feelings for your best friend?” Yoon exclaimed over the phone.

You broke up with Beomgyu a week ago, knowing things didn’t work out the way they used to. Since then, you both kept your distance, only seeing each other when you both went to see Heeseung. It was a pain in the ass to see him everywhere, pretending nothing had happened between you two.

“Ugh, don’t say it like that.” You winced, collapsing onto your bed. “As bad as it sounds, yes, I think I did. Ever since that party at Mark’s house.”

“No wonder why Mark’s parties are known to start love,” Yoon said bluntly, not judging you in the slightest. “People have always said that.”

"Please, just stop," you groaned, fully aware of the precarious position you found yourself in. It was undoubtedly a complicated situation.

Despite the awkwardness and confusion, you couldn't deny the undeniable chemistry and connection you shared with Heeseung. It felt like the lines between friendship and something more had blurred, and you were left grappling with newfound emotions and conflicting thoughts.

Yoon's voice softened, understanding the complexity of the situation. "I know it's messy, but sometimes love works in mysterious ways. You can't control who you develop feelings for. Just be honest with yourself and with Heeseung. It may lead to something beautiful."

You sighed, grateful for Yoon's support and advice. “Thanks Yoon, but I don’t want it to be seen like I only said I liked him because I just want to get over him.”

“What if he likes you, though?” Yoon was clearly invested in your love life.

“No way—him liking me? Impossible.” You denied. There was no way he liked you for all these years.

“I have seen the heart eyes he gives you. If you weren’t so smitten with your boyfriend, maybe you would’ve seen that.” Yoon chuckled, amused at how obvious you could be.

"I mean, if he likes you and you like him, shouldn't that be easy?" Yoon remarked, her voice laced with a touch of exasperation.

You let out a playful eye roll in response, fully aware of the complexities surrounding your situation. "Come on, Yoon, my ex was our best friend. It's not that simple."

Yoon pondered for a moment before offering her perspective. "Well, maybe you should just tell him. That way, if you ever do start showing interest, he won't feel like he's intruding or being a homewrecker."

A wave of disbelief washed over you. "Yoon, I'm not planning to hit on him! Besides, I'm pretty sure Heeseung already knows about the breakup. We've been avoiding each other lately."

Yoon raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. "And how sure are you about that?"

You paused, contemplating her question. "I'd say about 80 percent sure."

Yoon shook her head with a mischievous smile. "Not good enough, my friend. You need to be 100 percent certain."

An exasperated sigh escaped your lips as you playfully scolded her. "Oh, come on, Yoon. Can't you just trust me on this?"

Yoon grinned, refusing to back down. "Trust you? I trust you with a lot of things, but matters of the heart? Not so much."

You couldn't help but chuckle, appreciating Yoon's concern and her unwavering honesty. "Well, thanks for your vote of confidence, Yoon. But for now, let's just focus on our friendship drama, okay?"

Yoon nodded, a glint of mischief still evident in her eyes. "Fine, fine. But mark my words, you better figure out the Heeseung situation soon. Otherwise, I might just have to take matters into my own hands."

You playfully scolded Yoon over the phone, both of you laughing. Deep down, you knew Yoon had a point. The tangled web of emotions and unspoken desires between you and Heeseung couldn't be ignored forever. Just not right now.

It just might take a while for you to actually confess.

TWELVE.

Walking home together, you soon arrived at Heeseung's house. "Alright then, bye Hee! I can't stay over today; sorry about that."

Heeseung chuckled, finding your reaction amusing. "Don't worry about it. There's always a next time, right?"

Always a next time.

"Yeah, always," you replied with a smile, turning around to walk back home. As you made your way, your heart pounded in your chest, its rhythm matching the uncertainty and anticipation that filled your mind.

It was the seventh month of school, and the days seemed to be slipping away faster than either of you could have imagined. You were anxious about starting high school and stepping into a new chapter of your life, while Heeseung was burdened by the weight of when and how he should reveal his upcoming leave.

Heeseung fumbled with his keys, hastily unlocking the door to his house. As he stepped inside, he spotted Sunghoon lounging on the couch, munching on a bag of chips while engrossed in a TV show. “Hey, the least you could do is give me a heads-up when you crash at my place,” Heeseung quipped, his tone half-joking.

Sunghoon shrugged, his mouth full of chips. “Well, you always let YN pop up here almost every day. It seems like plain favoritism to me.”

Rolling his eyes, Heeseung tossed his bag next to the couch and made his way to the sink to wash his hands. “Just drop it, will you?”

Sunghoon continued munching, unfazed. “She’s not here today? I thought she was going to help you pack up. She always helps you out with that kind of stuff.”

Heeseung sighed, running the water over his hands. “No, she’s busy today. And well, I was packing, but I still have about two months left.”

Sunghoon chuckled with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Yeah, wait until graduation sneaks up on you and leaves you scrambling to get everything done in time. It’ll be quite the sight to see.”

Heeseung shot his friend a playful glare, water droplets falling from his hands onto the sink. "Thanks for the vote of confidence, Sunghoon. Really uplifting."

Sunghoon laughed, reaching for another handful of chips. "Hey, it's all part of the experience, my friend. But don't worry; I'm sure you'll manage. Be glad we are both going to the same college.”

Heeseung couldn't help but crack a smile, the banter with Sunghoon easing his worries, if only for a moment. "Yeah, yeah, I know.”

Heeseung settled down next to Sunghoon, helping himself to a handful of chips. "You know, I'm still worried," he admitted, his voice tinged with concern.

Sunghoon raised an eyebrow, his curiosity piqued. "Why? What's bothering you now?"

Heeseung sighed, his gaze fixed on the television screen. "I still haven't told YN."

Sunghoon's eyes widened in surprise. "What? You still haven't told her? Why not?"

Heeseung leaned back on the couch, feeling a weight on his shoulders. "I don't know; it just slipped my mind, I guess. I've been so caught up in my own thoughts and worries that I haven't found the right moment to bring it up. It's becoming a problem."

Sunghoon paused for a moment, contemplating his response. "Look, Heeseung, I understand that you want to focus on yourself and your relationship with YN, but keeping something like this from her is not fair to either of you. She deserves to know what's going on, especially if it's something that might impact your future together."

Heeseung nodded, realizing the truth in Sunghoon's words. "You're right. I need to find the right time and place to have that conversation with her. It's just... I'm afraid of how she'll react."

Sunghoon placed a comforting hand on Heeseung's shoulder. "I get it, Hee. It's not easy to have these kinds of conversations, but you owe it to both yourself and YN to be honest and open. Trust in your friendship and the bond you share. She'll understand."

"I'm afraid to tell her in person, though.” Heeseung contemplated Sunghoon's advice, weighing the options in his mind. "You think writing a letter would be better?" he asked, seeking confirmation.

Sunghoon nodded thoughtfully. "Sometimes, putting your thoughts and feelings down on paper can help you express yourself more clearly. It also gives the other person time to process the information without feeling put on the spot. If you feel more comfortable expressing yourself through a letter, then go for it. The most important thing is that you find a way to communicate with YN honestly and openly."

Heeseung sighed, relieved to have Sunghoon's support. "I think you're right. Writing a letter will give me the chance to carefully choose my words and convey everything I want to say. It will also give YN the space to absorb the information and react in her own time."

Sunghoon smiled, his eyes filled with understanding. "I'm here for you, Heeseung. If you ever need someone to talk to or help you through this, I'm just a phone call away."

Heeseung nodded gratefully, appreciating his friend's support. With a renewed sense of purpose, he knew it was time to gather his thoughts and pour his heart out onto paper, hoping that the letter would convey the depth of his emotions and the difficult decision he had to make.

He just hoped he had the time to write about everything he felt.

THIRTEEN.

The two months had swiftly passed, catching Heeseung by surprise. He found himself now adjusting his cap anxiously, eagerly awaiting your arrival. Graduation day had finally arrived, a day he had looked forward to with a mix of excitement and trepidation, knowing that it would mark the beginning of a painful farewell.

Heeseung stood among his classmates, excitement and nervousness buzzing in the air. The graduation ceremony was about to begin, and he couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions coursing through him. The cap on his head felt oddly heavy, as if carrying the weight of the impending farewell.

As he glanced around, his eyes searched for you in the crowd. He knew you would be there, a constant presence throughout his high school journey. But today, it held a bittersweet significance. It marked the beginning of a new chapter in both of your lives, one that would take you on separate paths.

The minutes ticked by, and anticipation grew with each passing second. Heeseung's mind wandered, replaying the memories of your time together. The laughter, the tears, the shared secrets, and the unspoken bond between you. He couldn't help but wonder how things would change after today.

Suddenly, he spotted you in the distance, making your way through the crowd. His heart skipped a beat as you drew closer, your smile lighting up the room. Heeseung's gaze never wavered from you, his emotions swirling within him.

As you approached Heeseung, you noticed the slight tension in his expression. You reached out and gently squeezed his hand, offering him a reassuring smile.

"Hey, Hee, are you ready for this?" You asked, trying to break the tension.

Heeseung looked at you, his gaze filled with a mix of emotions. "Yeah, I am. It's just... bittersweet, you know? Graduation marks the end of an era for us."

You nodded understandingly. "I know what you mean. It's hard to believe that after today, things will change. But hey, we've always managed to stick together through everything. I’m sure we will be able to do that again when we are in college.”

Heeseung's hand held onto yours, his grip growing tighter. He felt a lump form in his throat, and the urge to let his emotions spill over threatened to overcome him. He desperately wished he could make you a promise, but the weight of an impending goodbye weighed heavily on his heart. He turned away, blinking rapidly, hoping to conceal the tears welling up in his eyes.

But you saw right through his facade, your intuition picking up on the hidden emotions he tried to hide. Your heart ached at the sight of his struggle, realizing the depth of his fear and the significance of your connection. The thought of losing someone as dear to you as Heeseung was unfathomable. The bond you shared was precious and irreplaceable. Who would ever wish for that?

Before you could offer your comfort to Heeseung, the commencement speaker took the stage, commanding the attention of the hushed crowd. Your hand remained firmly in his, a simple gesture of support that spoke volumes. Both of you turned your focus towards the front, listening intently to the words being spoken.

The speaker's voice filled the air, carrying a sense of inspiration and reflection. They spoke about the accomplishments of the graduating class, the challenges faced, and the bright futures that lay ahead. It was a moment of celebration and reflection, marking the end of one chapter and the beginning of another.

As the speech continued, you stole a glance at Heeseung, taking in the mixture of emotions on his face. There was pride, tinged with sadness, as if he were already experiencing the weight of parting ways. You squeezed his hand gently, a silent reassurance that you were there beside him.

The speaker's words began to blur into the background as your mind wandered, reflecting on the journey you and Heeseung had taken together. From the countless memories shared to the unspoken understanding between you, your friendship has grown into something truly special.

As you sat there, surrounded by the buzz of graduation, your mind began to wander back to the memories you shared with Heeseung. The moments in class, the times you hung out, the events you attended together—they all flooded back, painting a vivid picture of your time together.

Each memory was intertwined with Heeseung's presence; his infectious smile and laughter were etched into every scene. The way his eyes crinkled into crescents when he laughed—that heavenly sound that never failed to bring warmth to your heart. It was in those moments that you realized something had shifted within you.

Fuck, you fell in deep. A surge of realization washed over you as you came to terms with your feelings. Maybe it wasn't just a passing fondness or friendship. Maybe, deep down, you have always liked Heeseung more than you realize. Perhaps it was hidden beneath the surface, waiting for the right time to reveal itself.

The thought of liking him, not just a little but a lot, was both exhilarating and terrifying. You couldn't deny the flutter of your heart whenever he was near, the way your smile widened when he was happy, or the pang of longing when you were apart. It all makes sense now.

How had you missed it before? Perhaps you had been too caught up in the comfort of your friendship, too afraid to acknowledge the possibility of something more. But now, as the truth unfolded before you, you couldn't ignore the depth of your feelings any longer.

As the ceremony continued, the realization settled within you, filling you with a mix of excitement and nervousness. Graduation marked not only the end of high school but also the beginning of a new chapter in your relationship with Heeseung. The question remained: would you have the courage to explore these newfound feelings and share them with him?

The answer was uncertain, but one thing was clear: the bond you shared with Heeseung was special, and it was worth exploring the possibility of something more. Graduation had become more than just a farewell; it had become a turning point, a chance to embrace the unknown and discover the depth of your connection with Heeseung.

With renewed determination and a sense of anticipation, you turned your attention back to the ceremony. As the crowd erupted into applause and the ceremony reached its climax, you couldn't help but steal a glance at Heeseung. His eyes met yours, and in that moment, you knew that whatever the future held, your feelings would guide you towards a path of truth and authenticity.

As the crowd erupted in cheers and applause, you joined your fellow graduates in turning your tassels, symbolizing the culmination of your high school journey. The air was filled with excitement and joy, and in that moment, everything seemed perfect.

But amidst the celebratory chaos, Heeseung's laughter pierced through the noise, drawing your attention. You turned, and there it was—the smile you adored, the one that never failed to make your heart skip a beat. His eyes met yours, and you couldn't help but feel a surge of emotion well up within you.

There was a tenderness in his gaze and a depth of affection that spoke volumes. It wasn't just your imagination playing tricks on you; he was looking at you with love in his eyes. The realization hit you like a wave, and a mixture of disbelief, hope, and overwhelming emotion washed over you.

Heeseung's tear-filled eyes mirrored your own, as if both of you were sharing an unspoken understanding. Heeseung's tears took you by surprise, and your heart ached at the sight of his distress. Concerned and wanting to offer solace, you closed the distance between you, gently placing a hand on his trembling shoulder.

"Don't cry, Hee," you whispered softly, your voice filled with genuine care. "Please, tell me why you're crying. What's wrong?"

Heeseung took a deep breath, trying to compose himself as he looked into your eyes. His voice quivered as he spoke: “It’s nothing, just us leaving high school.”

“Are you sure?” you asked worriedly, thinking there was more to it.

“I’m sure,” Heeseung whispered, his eyes slightly reddened. He reached out to retrieve something from his seat, clutching an envelope in his trembling hand.

"Promise me you'll wait a week before opening this, okay?" he pleaded.

"A whole week?" you questioned, a hint of impatience in your voice.

"I understand it feels like an eternity, but please trust me," he implored, his voice laced with sincerity.

Heeseung's request piqued your curiosity, and you nodded, agreeing to his peculiar condition. You took the envelope from his hand, holding it delicately between your fingers.

"I promise," you replied softly, your voice filled with a mix of anticipation and uncertainty. "I'll wait a week before opening it."

Heeseung offered you a faint smile, his eyes still glistening with unshed tears. "Thank you, YN. It means a lot to me."

Heeseung extended his arms, inviting you into a warm embrace that felt both comforting and bittersweet. He held you tightly, as if trying to etch the memory of this embrace deep into his being. You reciprocated, wrapping your arms around his waist and matching the rhythm of his heartbeat with your own. In that moment, your connection felt unbreakable, and the world around you faded away.

You two finally graduated from high school and are off to start your new journeys in life.

FOURTEEN.

As each day passed, the presence of the unopened letter weighed heavily on your mind. Despite being occupied with new hobbies and family time, curiosity about its contents lingered in the back of your mind. Heeseung's absence during this time only fueled your anticipation, as you wondered what could be so important that he asked you to wait for a week before opening it. With each passing day, the envelope seemed to stare at you, silently urging you to unravel its mysteries.

After an entire week of anticipation, the time had come to open the letter. Excitement surged through your veins as you hurriedly made your way to your room, a sense of eagerness driving you forward. You located the envelope you had carefully stowed away in your drawer and settled yourself into a seat.

With a mix of excitement and nervousness, you took a deep breath and gently tore open the envelope, savoring the moment of anticipation. The sound of the paper crinkling echoed in the room, and you carefully extracted the contents from within. Your hands trembled slightly as you unfolded the letter, your eyes scanning the words written on the page.

Hi YN ^^ !

This is Heeseung after a week! I hope you waited patiently, just as you always do. I know you keep your promises, so I had faith in you. If you did wait, as I believe you did, thank you so much. Now, let me get straight to the point, as I know you prefer it that way.

First and foremost, I want to apologize. Writing this letter is challenging, but expressing my feelings this way feels easier than doing it in person. You hold a special place in my heart, and I felt it was crucial to share this with you. I trust you would have appreciated that. So…

YN, I like you. More than just a little, it could even be considered love. I have loved you from the very beginning. However, Beomgyu was fortunate enough to be the one by your side, taking away any chance I had. It hurt, but seeing your happiness with him eased some of the pain. Please don't blame yourself, as you had no way of knowing.

All I ever wanted was for you to be happy, even if it meant I would remain in the background. So what if I was just your best friend? It didn't matter, as long as I could see you smile. When he hurt you, it made it even more difficult for me to confess my feelings.

I had intended to tell you earlier, ever since Mark's party. Did you notice the hints of 'I love you'? Because I do, I really do. It was my attempt to confess—it didn’t work out as you didn’t pick up on it.

If feelings weren't already complicated enough, my college situation adds to the frustration. I have been accepted to a different school than yours. I'm sure you're aware of that, but there are some things you don't know. I got into one of my dream schools, but it's located out of state. This means I won't be able to see you ever again. Not for now, at least.

I'm sorry for dropping this news on you suddenly and for not telling you sooner. I didn't know how to, and I despise seeing you sad. Losing Beomgyu made it even harder for me to bring it up. So I kept it to myself, which eventually backfired.

I find it frustrating that I have to express myself through this letter rather than in person. I know I may come to regret this decision, but it's too late to turn back now.

By the time you read this, I will already be at the airport, ready to depart. If you're lucky, you might catch a glimpse of me, although I doubt it. I anticipate being too busy to stay in touch through texts or calls, which only adds to the complexity of my situation. So, I must bid you farewell with these words. Goodbye, YN.

Please remember to keep yourself happy and never let that radiant smile disappear. It pains me to see you without it. And always remember: I will never forget you. That is a promise I will keep. Please don't forget me either, okay?

YN, I'm sorry that we couldn't fulfill our promises. I hope that our paths will cross again in a few years. If you decide to stay here, I will do my best to return to you.

Thank you for everything. Know that I love you, my YN.

— Heeseung, your loser.

As you read the final part of the letter, panic welled up inside you, and your eyes began to well up with tears. He was leaving you? Now?

You couldn't believe that he had shouldered all of this alone for so long. The thought of him suffering in silence while seeing you with your ex filled you with regret.

You berated yourself for not realizing his feelings sooner, but there was no time for self-blame now. Without wasting another second, you rushed downstairs, determined to reach the airport as quickly as possible.

You had to reach him before it was too late.

You had to say goodbye properly, at least.

FIFTEEN.

With a racing heart and a sense of urgency, you dashed out of your house and into the bustling streets. The minutes felt like hours as you navigated through the crowded sidewalks, desperately trying to reach the airport. Your mind was consumed with thoughts of finding Heeseung before it was too late.

The airport loomed in the distance, and you pushed yourself to run faster, your breath becoming ragged. Sweating and panting, you hurried through the entrance, scanning the bustling terminal for any sign of Heeseung. The sea of unfamiliar faces only heightened your anxiety.

Frantically, you approached airport personnel, trying to inquire about departing flights and destinations. Time seemed to slip away, with each passing second intensifying your fear of missing him. You searched for any information that could lead you to Heeseung's departure gate, hoping to catch a glimpse of him before it was too late.

Finally, a helpful staff member directed you to the correct gate. With renewed determination, you weaved through the crowd, your eyes scanning every face, hoping to spot him among the travelers. The sound of boarding announcements echoed through the air, adding to the urgency of your mission.

As you reached the gate, your heart sank as you realized the boarding process was already underway. You desperately looked around, searching for a familiar figure and praying that you hadn't missed him. Time seemed to slow down, and your breath caught in your throat.

And then, just as you were about to lose hope, you spotted him. Heeseung stood near the gate, his gaze fixed on the departure screen. Relief washed over you, and you called out his name, your voice filled with a mix of emotions.

"Heeseung!" you exclaimed, your voice trembling with both relief and urgency.

He turned, a mix of surprise and joy flickering across his face as he saw you. "YN? What are you doing here?" he asked, his voice laced with a mixture of disbelief and hope.

You rushed forward, breathless and overwhelmed. "I couldn't let you leave without saying goodbye," you said, your voice filled with determination. "I had to find you."

A flicker of emotion danced in Heeseung's eyes as he took a step closer. "But I thought... I thought you read my letter."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you shook your head. "I did, but I couldn't just let you go without trying. I can't bear the thought of losing you."

Heeseung's expression softened, and he looked at you, tearing up. “I’m sorry, YN,” he whispered, feeling himself getting closer to you. “I never wanted to leave, but I had to. You’ll find someone better.”

"There's no one else who compares to you. I can't believe it took me this long to realize it, but Heeseung, I like you too, a lot."

"But aren't you still with Beomgyu?"

"No, we actually broke up a while ago. It's just you and me now, Hee. I've had some time to reflect, and I've come to realize that my feelings for you have always been there. I truly mean it. Do you still feel the same way?"

Heeseung felt a surge of relief hearing your response. Part of him wanted to say yes immediately, but another part held him back. He didn't want to rush into anything and risk hurting you. He needed time for himself.

Your words hung in the air, and he looked into your eyes with a mix of emotions. "YN, I appreciate your honesty and the courage it took to tell me how you feel. I do care deeply about you, and that hasn't changed. But with everything going on right now—my college plans, the uncertainty of the future—I want to take some time for myself before committing to a relationship."

Confusion and disappointment clouded your expression. "So, you're saying you don't want to be with me?" You asked, your voice quivering with a tinge of sadness and hurt.

Heeseung reached out, gently cupping your face with his hand. "No, that's not what I'm saying, YN. Please understand that it's not about not wanting to be with you. I do love you very much, but I’m scared the long distance wouldn’t work out for us. I want both of us to be ready for this.”

Tears welled up in your eyes as you processed his words. "I understand, Heeseung. I don't want to push you into something you're not ready for. But please know that my feelings for you are genuine, and I hope that in the future, when the time is right, we can be together."

Heeseung tightened his grip on your hand, a soft smile playing on his lips. "Thank you for your understanding, YN. You mean the world to me.”

Heeseung's voice trembled slightly as he spoke, his eyes fixated on the sign of his imminent departure. "Could we share one last hug before I go?" His words were laced with a bittersweet longing, and you could hear the hint of pain in his voice.

The weight of his impending absence settled heavily upon you, and your heart ached with a mix of emotions. Tears welled up in your eyes as you nodded, and your own voice choked with emotion. "Yes, Hee... one last hug."

Closing the physical gap between you, you stepped forward and wrapped your arms around Heeseung. The embrace was a mixture of comfort and farewell, as if trying to capture the essence of your bond in a single moment.

As you held each other, the weight of impending separation hung in the air. You could feel Heeseung's arms tightening around you, as if he wanted to etch this embrace into his memory. The world around you seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you in that poignant embrace.

His voice cracked with emotion as he whispered, "Thank you for being here with me, even until the very end."

Tears welled up in your eyes, threatening to spill over, as you held onto him just a little tighter. The realization that he would soon be gone made each second feel precious and fleeting.

You found solace in the warmth of the hug and the silent understanding that flowed between you. It was a silent exchange of love, support, and the acknowledgment that distance could never diminish what you shared.

Reluctantly, you released each other, gazing into each other's eyes. The unspoken words and emotions lingered in the air, a testament to the depth of your connection.

As you watched him walk away, the weight of his departure settled on you. But amidst the ache, there was a glimmer of optimism, a belief that this temporary farewell was just a chapter in your story together.

As Heeseung walked away, his mind filled with a whirlwind of emotions, and he felt the need to distract himself from the ache in his heart. Seeking solace in the familiarity of his phone, he decided to clear his inbox before boarding the plane. As he scrolled through his unread emails, one message caught his eye, causing his heart to skip a beat.

His eyes widened in shock as he opened the email, revealing an acceptance letter from your dream school—the very same college that had been his second choice. A mixture of disbelief, astonishment, and a tinge of bitterness washed over him as he read the words on the screen.

Once again, he had a chance he would have taken but missed.

He was too late.

💭 — hey you’ve reached the end 😊

ENHA PERM TAGLIST — @flwoie @ixomiyu @yenavrse @shinsou-rii @bearseulgs @ilovewonyo @yenqa @dimplewonie @bubblytaetae @wtfhyuck @ineedaherosavemeenow @starcubes @starikizs @wonioml @chirokookie @xiaoderrrr @neozon3nha @en-chantedtomeetyou @millksea @enhaz1 @eundiarys @woon2u @ja4hyvn @judeduartewannabe @j-wyoung @thia-aep @vampcharxter @softpia @officiallyjaehyuns @itsactuallylina @hsheart @sweetjaemss @ahnneyong @hanienie @jwnghyuns @kpoplover718 @jiawji @rikizm @haknom @yeokii @wvnkoi @tnyhees @teddywonss @shinunoga-iie-wa @flwrshee @skzenhalove @chaewon-slays

LYFAD TAGLIST — @misoxhappy @vizstars @junzwrld @whippedforbeomgyu @rikisly

[brendaareiss]

Freaky caldre hc!

(like always, don't read if u don't fw it)

I

v

- Cal tears up or cries easily while doing it, he's actually kind of sensitive

- Cal is OBSESSED with Andre's back and with his happy trail. Send post.

- Andre LOVES making Cal submit to him and talking to him/giving him orders while doing it

- One of Cal's biggest turn ons is being called a "good boy" or "pretty" when he's getting absolutely destroyed.

- Cal being hypersexual has led the two of them into not passing a day without doing something sexual. Whether is a quick bj the high-school's bathroom, a hj in Andre's room while his parents are at home, grinding and dry humping in Andre's car or Cal getting absolutely ruined

- I honestly don't think they switch at all. Andre loves being in control in all situations, when he's not, the man truly starts tweaking. He gets stressed, angry because he can't do shit, and it isn't a relieve to him when someone has control, power over him. Cal is totally fine by that though, he's happy with satisfying Andre

(Andre would rather kill himself than having something inside of him. Yall can't make me change my mind with all the "bottomdre" bullshit.)

- They're the clingiest and cutest mf when they're done. You can hear Cal's giggles and Andre yapping about how perfect Cal is and looks when you walk past Andre's room.

- Andre has DEFINITELY left bruises on Cal's body. He's too rough, he can't control himself.

- While Cal is teasing as fuck, he's just resumed to a submissive mess, a bunch of "more, please, andre" and a begging mess when Andre finally touches him

- Following, Andre loves making Cal beg. Not only because it fuels his ego, but because he loves hearing Cal's whiny voice, being completely overwhelmed

- There is not a single time in the life span of Andre kriegman where he hadn't finished inside of Cal. Cal sometimes gets annoyed or pissed of, because they needed to be quick and not make a mess, or because now he has to clean himself up. But most of the time he loves it too.

- Cal LOVES being manhandled. He will never admit it out loud though (well, only if Andre forces him to admit it, even repeat it)

-Cal also loves giving bj's to Andre. Having his mouth and throat full of him, the feeling of being fully possessed and weakened by him...Cal is obsessed with it

- Andre loves pulling Cal's hair.

-Cal has made Andre fuck him in the morning to not go to class. He was met with a delicious breakfast afterwards. Andre claimed it was his reward.

-following, Andre always gives little rewards to Cal once they're done. They can be food, small gifts or being bear hugged and showering him with kisses. He does almost anything to make Cal feel loved and cared for afterwards.

- Andre has internalised homofobia, Cal was sa'd as a kid. So yeah, things can get pretty angsty sometimes.

- Andre's dirty talk it's the bittersweetest thing ever. He would say the meanest things but with the most caring and loving tone of his voice (almost making fun of Cal). But when he's angry though, he's just mean (Cal secretly loves it but you won't hear him saying that).

-Cal has had Andre's belt on his wrists and neck

- Andre always cleans the mess the two of them do. Normally when Cal's taking a shower

- They REALLY can't keep it their hands to themselves.

- Andre is rlly toxic. Sorry. (Cal is too, but Andre wins by a lot). It's mainly because Cal is really the only one that he has and loves.

- once they're done, go back to sleep and finally let Mel inside of the room, she always sleeps in between them or on top of them (mostly Andre, ofc)

I'm seriously considering to start making fanfics. Leave asks so I can make fics about whatever you guys want 🙏

[chansbabygirlsstuff]

hi hi !! ur writing is so cute!

Request here,

can you write something like best friend's popular brother hyunjin who secretly likes reader (she does as well but thinks she has no chance) and then one day he confesses being all shy and shes like WHAT

anything like this u can decide i love whatever you write !<3

Hey beautiful, thank you for requesting, your lovely comment made my day! ( I was having a difficult day) so with lots of love, I will do this for you!

Song recommendation: Popular by the weekend

Popular

Paring:hyunjin!x!reader!

Warning: fluff

Your POV

Mr. popular passes through the corridors, his scent leaving traces behind him, leaning against my locker my eyes follow him and walk all the way outside, his smile flashing to his friend talking about something only them will know.

"Hello? Are you listening to me?" my best friend catches my attention from him "Mhm? Yeah I am" My eyes draw to her now

"so are you gonna go?" she asked seriously "Where?" I asked confused

"I JUST TOLD YOU" Her frustration lands on me "Sorry I didn't pay attention" I truthfully say "To my house" She sighs "My stupid brother is going to bring Ashley over to the house and you know she annoys my ass like I can't stand watching her being so stupid with my brother like she is all over him and-" I cut her off before she explodes

"Hey, calm down girl it's ok, I will be there for you" I calm her down "Thanks, but you know... it's not because I'm jealous of my brother is just that she is such a pick me and every fucking girl is gushing over him and it's just so annoying" I understand her, I wouldn't like seeing my brother with some other girl in my house about every day

"do you know if they are dating?" my curious heart asks feeling a ting of jealousy "I don't know, I hope not"

We get to class and sit down, I look over at Hyunjin who is sitting in front of me, oh my poor little heart, when will you stop loving him?

4:40 pm

Yeji and I get ready to head to her house, we walk outside the school's door and feel the nice weather hitting our faces "Ain't it lovely Yeji" I smile loving this weather and wishing it would be like this everyday

"the weather is nice" she smiles and closes her sweater, "how about we watch the new movie that just came out 2 weeks ago?" she asks me "What movie?" I ask curiously "Well the tale of the nine-tailed fox" She answered my question "Oh, the one where Lee Dong-wook appears?" she nods as we get excited about thirsting over a 40-year-old man.

We get to her house open the door and leave my stuff in a chair "Let me get the popcorn ready" I say heading to the kitchen "ok girl ima put your stuff in my room and get everything ready" she shouts from the door already hearing her steps as she walks through the stairs

"hey y/n" Hyunjin smiles at me while making something to eat for himself "Hey Hyunjin" my heart drops as I didn't see him at first

It's normal for me to be at their house so he is accustomed to seeing me around here, we have known each other since I was 5 and he was 6, Yeji and I knew each other from kindergarten and we always used to play with her brother in my house or her house, so we become friends a long time ago, but I feel like it all changed since we entered high school since I was 15 we don't talk as much as before, just small talks, no more movie nights or baking time with him like we sorta got uncomfortable with each other, he also became Mr, popular at school so I believe he feels better than us now. Now I'm 17 and he is 18 and yeah we are in the same grade because his dumbass failed chemistry in 10th grade, obviously, he was so busy fucking his ex-girlfriend and doing her work for her than concentrating on himself that he was swept away 1 whole year because of it.

"How are you doing?" he asked me smiling at me and looking back down at his sandwich "I'm doing good and you?" I ask looking the popcorn to put it in the microwave. "I've been good, what are you guys doing today?" he asked me to make another of our famous small talks "We are going to watch a movie and maybe I'm staying over" I smiled and continued doing my work. "nice, lucky you, I have to do a project for history fro next week" "ah yeah the ones about the empires?" I ask "Yeah, I got put in with Ashley" he whispers and rolls his eyes at me showing his annoyance, and I laugh silently "It would've been better if I got chosen to be with you, you are pretty smart and organized, and we known each other for most of our life" he continues to finish his sandwich. "yeah right? I got chosen with Lia, so it was not bad at all, just her brother is a bit creepy" I say making a weird face remembering her brother and how immature he acts.

"oh yeah Daniel is awful" I nodded and put the popcorn in the microwave not forgetting what he said about me my tummy filled with butterflies, but again I reminded myself I couldn't let these feelings get the best of me, he barely talks to me and yeji would be so mad at me if I ever get to date him.

"But if you ever need me to him in his place please tell me and I will do it with pleasure" he smiles grabs his plate and rubs my head while passing by to the living room.

my cheeks got all red by his touch, I placed my hands over them to soothe them down the popcorn finishes and I get out of the kitchen

"oh Hyuinjin you so funny" I hear a girl exaggerating her laugh, ofc she is here, I feel a bit down and go to Yeji's room.

"everything is ready" I get to her bed and put the bowl in the middle of both of us she starts the movie and we are already melting by seeing Dong Wooks face.

something in me doesn't let me concentrate on the movie and a tinge of jealousy gets to me, it should've been me who was with Hyun-jin right now, not Ashley.

7:24pm

"May I join" Someone opens the door and looks at Yeji with pleading eyes "No go fuck yourself" She stretches and lays down in another position, so I move aside and pat the side of my bed to let Hyunjin join us "See she's nice, unlike you?" he says getting on the bed sticking his tongue out at her "no y/n why did you let him in!" she groans while saying it getting annoyed and moving to the side of the bed to give me more space, he lays on his stomach and hugs a small pillow and gets near me, his head touching my arm of how close he is to me.

Butterflies run through my stomach as I try to control my breathing so I do not blush.

15min later

"He's not that even good looking," He remarks making both of our heads look at him "Shut up you dickhead, he is the most handsome guy to ever exist" She throws a pillow at him, but he throws it back, sitting up and getting comfortable back in the sheets, now sitting like I've been doing this whole time, but our arms connect he looks down on me and smiles, I smile back and quickly look back at the movie, now I do feel my cheeks blush

"did you see how hot Lee Yeon's brother is?" yeji asked me "Yes Rang has that type of bad boy vibe right? but he is so gentle on the inside like he is so cute" I say as we comment on the series. But I feel Hyuinjins head on my shoulder hugging my arm trying to get comfortable on the bed, Yeji gives her back to me and I see her sleepy eyes trying to fight the urge to fall asleep, I pat her head gently making sure she gets some rest but I feel Hyun-jin caressing my arm with his thumb up and down. I feel his breath get more relaxed but I tense up feeling nervous about him.

I try to ignore it and continue watching the movie "Yeji look at the puppy" I pout looking at how cute he is "yeji?" I called her again but I heard no response from her "Did she fall asleep already?" he asked me

"mhm, I think she did" I try to shake her but she does not react, hating that she left me alone with her brother again.

"mmh ok, I'm going for something to eat wanna come?" I nod and get out of bed with him turning the TV and lights off for yeji to sleep as we walk out to the kitchen.

"what are you craving?" he asks me "What about some ramyeon?"

"Sure that sounds good" he started to boil the water while I took the packets out

"so... how did the project go? I asked curiously about the 2 of them

"it was... ok I guess, I kinda ended up doing it all by myself and she was very annoying btw," he said a bit disappointed.

"well I'm sorry to hear that," I said relieved to hear that it didn't go well between them, he got next to me to grab the cups of noodles, and our hands brushed each other, our eyes met and our bodies froze

He pecked my lips and stared into my eyes waiting for my reaction, my eyes widened and my mouth gaped looking at him in shock, but I didn't say anything staying in the same position.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't done that without asking you, I-I thought t-that maybe you wanted i-it"he stutters nervously looking everywhere but my eyes.

"W-why did you kiss me?" I asked in shock, his face in fear "I'm sorry y/n I couldn't stop myself I don't know what came over me, I-Ii just really like y-you and-"

"You WHAT?!"

"I like you y/n, I have since we were young" I stare at him in pure shock

"wait so wait what? so you like me? And you tell me until now?"

"what do you mean until now? I was scared you were going to reject me"

"I would never reject you Hyunjin, I've liked you since I was like 8," I said a bit angry that this didn't happen before

"YOU LIKE ME?!?!" he raises his voice in shock and joy

"yeah I do" I get a bit shy saying it out loud

he cups my cheeks and kisses me delicately his lips feeling soft, tasting him on my lips is kind of my new obsession.

when we separate ourselves in our eyes we see our future we just started.

and that is how I started to date Mr popular.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi loves enjoy

please comment, like, and give support!

The tag list is open

Please check out my other works too

[mylospookiebear]

could make headcanons and scenarios sfw and nsfw about a general Kai and Oogway from 500 years before, where reader is a princess and falls in love with Kai because he is different from all the other princes? (such things as sneaking out at night or kai staying in reader's room) ( ﾉ^ω^)ﾉ

This sounds really interesting! I'll only be doing headcannons though because I have other requests to do and I don't wanna take a long time, If I am free I will gladly be doing scenarios!

Sorry for this being so late, I had other requests to handle ^⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠^

Fluff💗+ Smut🔥

General Kai x Fem!Reader

(I'm only saying Fem!Reader because u said princess)

The NSFW one might be somewhat the same as my General Kai x GN!Reader another fella requested me

Also, the NSFW is really short because I didn't have anymore ideas for Kai with NSFW my apologies💗

SFW-💗

You saw him with Oogway, walking with him, You probably didn't believe in love at first sight until now

Feels like a high school teenager crush all over again 😭

You do follow him around at times, NOT IN A CREEPY WAY OBVIOUSLY.

One day he does finally catch you, You just giggled and blushed while he just decided to sit beside you and talk to you

The more he talked to you the more he started to like you A LOT.

You two would plan meetups and sometimes he'd surprise you by climbing through your window and staying there for like...4 hours, Might actually end up falling asleep next to you

Man will protect you with all his might, Since they said Oogway and Kai lead a great army, He'd probably get his army to protect you and your family

Too many compliments, Like, TOO MANY.

He calls you nicknames, Like, princess (obviously), Hon, Honey or just your name

Adores your touch, It feels like he's being touched by a literal cloud

He thinks you're really pretty, Not joking, He literally stares at you all the time and when you're talking you ask him if he's there like 6 times while he's just zoned out by your beauty, Eventually he snaps back and pretends he was listening

If you guys are in a relationship now, He'd probably want to marry you extremely badly

He'd probably wanna have at least 2-3 kids

NSFW-

Rough, Doesn't take things slow, Only if you ask for it, He doesn't want you to be in pain or just uncomfortable in this

Lasts a LONG time, This man never runs out of energy EVER.

Compliments you and sometimes teases you, Says your really pretty like he always does but this time it's more romantic and tender

Allows you to grip on his...Horns? Tusks? (I seriously forgot the name of it but use whatever one is there) when you're close

LOVES IT when you touch his hair or grip on it while he's just ramming into you

Thanks for reading!💗

[lov-eable]

L♡VETICON *•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ #02:ODIE

━━ you had liked chishiya throughout high school and your first year of college, but he always saw you as just a friend. as he gets an opportunity to study abroad for a year, you decide it's time to let this crush go. can you keep him out of your mind when he comes back?

masterlist ◌*ꕤ

A/N: hi!! sorry for the slow updates school is kicking my ass lol but i wrote this on class i hope u enjoy this!! sorry if its cheesy or something i think we all are a bit cheesy and corny sometimes!

you approached the already known car, kuina's car, and knocked the passenger's window, you saw how they got startled by it and jumped in their place, arisu opened the window revealing you, "hi," you said with a mischievous smile, "get in the back seat! we are late!" kuina yelled from her place as the driver.

you got in the car and arisu handed you an iced coffee and a chocolate croissant, "for you, miss late," he mocked you but you also mocked him back, "aw, you remembered my favorites, you are a cutie pie," he shrugged you off with a gesture and started playing music for the trip.

you arrived at the airport and you couldn't help but contemplate at the big shiny letters, 'tokyo international airport' it said. it was the first time you were there since chishiya's departure.

even if you tried to convince your friend's otherwise, you felt nervous about seeing him. you weren't hopelessly in love with him anymore so that was not the reason you were nervous, you liked and dated so many people since he left after all. it was just because you were seeing him a whole year after he went overseas.

kuina left arisu and you at the front gates, she said you should go ahead and search for chishiya's arrival gate as she searched for an empty spot to park her car.

you entered the airport with arisu side by side, looking for the gate 'g' as kuina told you. as you got deeper into the airport and got closer to your destiny, you started to feel more nervous and it was pretty obvious, of course arisu noticed it and bumped shoulders playfully with you.

"hey, yn, i know we have been teasing you a lot with this but, seriously, if you're anxious or something you could wait for us in the food court," he said, "it's okay, arisu, i'm okay, i don't like him anymore, i'm just... nostalgic and feeling a little bit weird, you know, we don't see each other since a long time ago..." you tried to make arisu believe you, but he did not seem convinced.

"you sure?" you nodded but you were aware a nod wouldn't convince him, "besides, i think i'm still into that guy i dated some months ago," "niragi?" you looked at him shocked and disgusted, "oh, god, don't say that ever again, i wouldn't go back to him not even in my dreams".

you both laughed, niragi was your worst ex so far, a serial asshole, but it did not really matter, "i meant banda," you kept giggling, "sorry, sorry, you date so many people i get lost," you punched him in the arm lightly, "hey!" you shouted. you were laughing until you saw the big letter g sign, "if you are sure you're okay, let's go," you nodded reassured.

when you got to the gate, you looked up at the flight board, chishiya's plane had landed two minutes ago, so you actually had to wait, kuina lied to you saying you were late to hurry you up, you thought.

after some minutes, someone tapped your shoulder, you turned to find kuina smiling, "chishiya said he should be here any minute now," you unconsciously fixed your hair making kuina grin, "what," you said furrowing your brows, "nothing".

"chishiya," all three of you screamed as a pretty familiar guy with dyed blonde hair walked towards you, "hi guys," you all hugged him for some seconds, "ok, enough," arisu looked at chishiya disappointed, "you do not seem surprised or excited to see us".

he slightly smiled, it was really smirk-like but after knowing him for so many years, you just knew he was genuinely smiling, "i knew kuina would tell you, so i skipped that awful job to inform everyone who knows me and i left it for her," his smile went away for some seconds and he faced kuina, "but you did not tell my dad, right?" kuina shook her head frantically, "i would never!" she crossed her arms jokingly upset.

"although, i'm surprised usagi is not here," chishiya eyed arisu expectantly as basically everyone would suppose he knew why, "she..." he dramatically stopped, "died," he fakely sobbed holding kuina arm, as she answered, "she was busy with a project".

he was laughing, not as much as maybe you or any of your friends normally would, but you had never seen him laugh like this, he seemed... different. happier, maybe. "i guess we should dye together our hair now," in fact, your hair was a shade of blue now fading away, "yeah," it was all you said, even stuttering a bit. how embarrasing.

the four of you began your path towards the food court, arisu was helping chishiya with one of chishiya's backpack. they were chatting but you remained silent, it wasn't really voluntarily as you longed to speak to him in person for a long time, of course as friends.

"you're quiet," chishiya said as he took a seat, arisu and kuina had arranged a mysterious plan to leave you both alone, or at least you assumed by how giggly they were when they suggested you should search for an empty table together as they went for the food.

he was right, you were quiet, extremely weird coming from you, "sorry, i'm tired," you had to create excuses because you were so unsure of what you were feeling, "i don't think i have seen you tired since those all-nighters you pulled during high school, odie".

the nickname made your brain stop for a moment, "oh god, you haven't called me that since, like, the ninth grade!" you said a tad bit embarrased byu that nickname.

you used to called him 'garfield' because of his personality as a way to tease, but it became just your special nickname for him, you even still had him added as that on your cellphone. as a way to tease you back, he started calling you 'odie' as the hyperactive dog who would annoy garfield.

you never used that nickname again for him in hopes he wouldn't call you odie anymore, but it did not happen then. he began mocking you even more but, when you started a new school year, the teasing ceased gradually.

"but it still fits you," he smirked. there he was, the chishiya you knew, a professional teaser and annoying but loyal friend, "won't you call me by my nickname? i miss it," you couldn't deny it, your heart skipped a beat when he said the word 'miss'. "leave me alone, mr. fucking garfield". he smiled. and you smiled too. you really had missed him.

tag list: @trinmadol @yeosangiehwa @hy0ukka @xiaosenthusiast @nijirosz @elysiasgf @luvhyukie @wolfvmin @imasimplol @damarislolop @luvvsnae 

[spicyvampire]

Hi, since GMM has many Thai BL series, just wondering, do you have favorites from them? If you do, do you have 10 you like most so far?

I do not have the best relationship with GeeMeeMee but over the years they have provided some tasty bls here and there, I'll try to give you a little top 10

1.Not Me (2021)

To me that's like the best GeeMeeMee show ever made, great activism story, all the storylines are compelling, it gets accidentally funny with the twins stuff and the fact that Yok the resident arsonist is tryna fuck that cop so bad, but with Yok's help Dan finished realizing that he was part of a system that was beyond fixing and it was better to get himself free of it than staying, honestly has one of the best storyline and character development ever written in a bl

2. 3 Will Be Free (2019)

A gay mafia son, a stripper and a gogo bar manager walk into a bar, shenanigans ensue. To this day, the only GeeMeeMee show to have given me an endgame throuple and frankly one of the only cannon throuples we have in bl

3. Moonlight Chicken (2023)

By god Wen fucked that old man in the chicken shop, but in all seriousness this bl probably has the best breakup storyline I've ever seen in any media ever, it's a truly masterpiece; also we saw the story of a deaf character who uses sign language and that's not something you see often in bl tbh, wish we had more Gaipa and Alan but you take what u can get

4. Cherry Magic Thailand (2023)

Honestly this one took me by surprise, I'm not a fan of remakes but they did a really good job adapting those japanese characters to a Thailand setting while keeping some of the japanese background there, and go a bit further and deeper than the original did with some of the characters

5. Wandee Goodday (2024)

This one was my obsession for the last few weeks, unfortunately I think the show lost some momentum around the middle of it, and it needed more balance on some stuff, like one of Dee's big trauma wasn't even resolved even if they showed it affecting him pretty severely at least twice, while we spend like almost the whole 2nd half of the show on Yak's, overall very silly and enjoyable and also nice asexuality representation which is not something you see often in bl

6. The Eclipse (2022)

I'm not really a high school boy bl type of person and I usually avoid them but they got me with this one, I think Akk's storyline ressemble Dan's a lot in the sense that he had to realize he was part of a system that is bad and is using him to maintain a bad status quo and then had to free himself from it even if that's all he's ever known, Ayan is of course of a great help with his flirtiness, shenanigans and overall fuck the rules attitude

7. Bad Buddy (2021)

Thai bl's Romeo and Juliet, what I loved the most about this one was the attention put on the dynamics of Pran and Pat and their respective families, and how even if they didn't succeed in changing their fighting parents minds, they stayed together and continued to love each other because at the end of the day, the love was between them and it had nothing to do with their parents

8. He's coming to me (2019)

I love me a ghost story like any other guy, so this was right up my lane, I gotta admit it's been like 4 years since I've seen this so I don't remember the storyline clearly, but it left a good impression on me, so much that years later I still think of it as good

9. Only Friends (2023)

Top 10 messiest friend group ever created, this could have been higher on the list if they didn't do Boston dirty in the very last goddamn episode of the show

10. Dark Blue Kiss (2019)

I honest to god remember nothing about the mains but this show has the best coffee shop au in the ql universe and it's from 2019, SunMork chemistry is just firing all over the place, definitely my favorite Gawin ost too

[attleboy]

Why do u draw?

oooooooo [rubs hands together] a fun one that probably isn't that deep but i'm going to take way too seriously!

so the short answer is fun, but i can never just say one sentence and be done with it soooo i elaborated and wrote a whole essay below. sorry not sorry

anyway if you didn't want my origin story no shame in that, it's not gonna be on the quiz, just keep scrolling :P

to cover all my bases let me start from the beginning and work my way forward...

i think pretty much all kids draw at least a little just because they can, but the thing that really inspired me to take art seriously was the great abundance of cat animations on youtube in the early 2010s... warrior cats amvs mostly, but also artists like bani the kitty and splashkittyartist! you can really see these inspirations in my early digital art hehehe (see below by attle b. age 8)

from then until about age 14 art was just... my thing? i did it pretty much everyday, probably couldn't have imagined life without it... i think back then my motivations were more inline with your typical social media artist motivations... get better, be seen, and maybe make a career out of it? never made it that far though because ehhhh life has different plans i guess

i fell into an art slump in the middle of high school for a variety of personal reasons i won't get into, and as such i had to give up my dreams of creating art as a job

as sad as that was in the moment, it forced me to change my outlook on the whole ordeal in a way that i think was ultimately healthier for me.

that brought me to where i am now! since i have no goals beyond keeping at it as a hobby, i do it simply because i enjoy the process, the product, and i feel like it lets me connect with my interests in a way i otherwise couldn't.

it's a fun way to express love for the things i care about, and while i still enjoy honing my skills i don't feel the same pressure to be perfect that i used to which is really freeing!!

so in that sense it's intrinsic motivation that makes me draw what i draw... however, the amount of art i put out and the polish i give it is definitely motivated by the eyes i have on me... while i'd still be drawing the same things if no one was watching, i would not be putting nearly as much effort into it, nor would i be doing it as regularly, so i do thank you guys for keeping me on track there <3

that's it i think? i could get into the philosophy of it, but i'll spare you that... okay thank you for letting me yap!!! ^-^

[chainsawctopus]

What do u think of yoshiden

Oh boy. If you're here on my account then you probably already know who I am and how absolutely insane I am for them, but I'm gonna ramble anyway LOL thanks for giving me the opportunity to show people on Tumblr how insane I am ‼✌😁 If people who don't know me from twitter find this, hi I'm TK! I may be a little deranged for Yoshiden, just a tiny bit y'know- Yoshiden means a lot to me for various reasons but I'll just put down all my insane ramblings down belowwww [CSM Spoilers if anime onlys/new readers find this post somehow] [Serious Section] -Denji's distrust/disliking for men/straight up internalized homophobia is most likely because of his past abusers being male (the mafia and his father), so if he starts to trust Yoshida throughout the course of part 2 and they end up forming an actual bond, whether it's romantic or platonic, it kind of helps Denji get over his distrust and help him cope with that trauma knowing that hey not all dudes are that bad actually, this guy's pretty nice. (You could say that Beam already did that and they had a good bond too but Beam is... y'know... *finger across neck* bleh... and Denji still emphasizes he wouldn't let a dude sit on him in 104 so...)

-Surprise surprise, I'm in on the bi Denji agenda because I'm bisexual and all my favs have to be bi 😁😁/hj But seriously, bi Denji is a pretty good concept cause aside from getting rid of his internalized homophobia, it also helps him get over/cope with his trauma as I said above. Part 1 was all about Denji learning about different kinds of love (familial love from the Hayakawa family, romantic love from Reze, and the mess that is sexual->maternal->abusive love from Makima, etc etc), so exploring his sexuality in part 2 could be a nice little addition to that. (Bonus points for the new kind of familial love he has for Nayuta now that he's her older brother/father figure; bonus BONUS points if Yoshida's the other dad LOL) [Delusional Absolutely Normal Section] -Yoshida's canonically a pretty boy as stated by another guy, so maybe if Denji stares at him long enough he'll realize guys can be as pretty as girls too and think it's fine to find guys attractive LMAO

-We all agree Yoshida's gay or at least mspec mlm leaning/preference right? Right. -Anyway, I'M A TOTAL SUCKER FOR ONE-SIDED LOVE STORIES LOL I'd like to think Yoshida has coworkers who could've taken the job of watching over Denji but he deliberately asked to do the job because he found him cute back in part 1, though realistically he probably only got chosen for the job cause he knew about Denji's identity already and he's also in high school, but we're not here for realism, we're here for gay people. (Gay people being Hirofumi Yoshida.) (Did you see him at the table with Angel while Denji and Power were talking about barf and stuff? Dude was smiling while listening to them talk about random shit, he probably became interested in Denji then and there; hell, even the goddamn onigiri scene where Denji still eats it after it fell to the ground probably made him go 'woah this guy is sick in the head I'm in love') Back to the one sided thing, the idea of Yoshida being willing to die while protecting Denji is???? insane??? and I love it because it really shows how devoted he is not only to his job but to Denji in general. He's never truly lost his temper at Denji, even when he used his bare hands on the cake, even when he let himself get sat on by girls, and even how he only wants to reveal himself as Chainsaw Man just to get a girlfriend. Sure, he called him hopeless in the recent chapter, but he never raised his voice or fought back. He's always trying to be patient with him even when he's being completely ridiculous. Copypasting what I've said on twitter here: If someone started scooping and eating the cake I bought with their bare hands, I wouldn't just sit there and go "Aaaaaah!", I'd definitely get pissed. Yoshida has FEELINGS for this boy, I swear. He said NOTHING about it. NOTHING. No "Why the hell'd you do that?" or "Dude that's gross" OR ANYTHING, he immediately just goes back to talking about trying to prevent Denji from revealing his identity. If someone I liked, however, would eat cake with their bare hands, I'd just be embarrassed but also find it cute so I'd let it slide. (Tested and proven ����)

If, miraculously, Yoshida canonically confesses to Denji, he'd probably still pine for him even if Denji turns him down, which he probably will. Yoshida realizes, after being his bodyguard for a while, that he really enjoys Denji and being around him; he'd get too attached to those feelings and still shower him with appreciation even if he knows it'll never be reciprocated. Just knowing that Denji's being given the love he deserves is enough for him, even if Denji doesn't want or care about that love. It's kinda selfish of Yoshida, but he doesn't care, all he cares about is that he likes Denji and he's willing to keep that up until he dies. -Anywayyyyy, even though they're both good in battle they're both absolute fucking losers LOL Yoshida getting thrown out the window is and will always be my favorite scene from him. Denji got called a loser by Asa, so maybe if Denji just turned his head 90 degrees after that rejection, he would've seen another loser and they could've been the most pathetic loser4loser couple in existence, it's great, c'mon Denji just accept you can like men already

-I kinda maybe kin Yoshida soooo- 💀 I mostly started kinning him for his appearance and how he's visibly deranged in part 1 LOL, but seeing his attitude towards Denji in part 2 really made me like wow he just like me fr‼ I'm sick in the head for this cute guy who is also kinda sick in the head‼ So yeah that really added to my appreciation for yoshiden LMAOSKJSDKF Ok that's all it's almost 6am and my brain is empty, maybe I'll add to this later, hopefully that answers your question anon 😁👍‼‼‼💥💥💥 I dunno if you expected an essay but BOOM, I hope I get a good score LOL

[starseneyes]

Chenford - Lucy Chen / Tim Bradford - The Rookie - Season 5 - Ep 11

"The Naked and the Dead" AKA "Chenford is SOOOO married"

SPOILER WARNING: I will spoil the entire episode, likely the entire show, and I am addicted to details. Please proceed with caution.

Everybody primed and ready to go? Let's dive in!

"Hey, let me do it."

Timelines are tricky on this show, so I really don't think this was after the "second" date, but later. We saw in the cold open that Nolan and Celina were on a case during the day, so I think Tim and Lucy have been sneaking in dates and we're MAYBE a few days or a week past the end of the last episode.

So, that cute little glance Lucy gives Tim before uttering "let me do it" made me squee. Yes, I squee like a little girl kicking in a too-tall chair. Let me flail. I'm good at it!

Tim steps back and lets his wife girlfriend get to work on the coffee machine.

We know he's into black coffee (and clearly she knows his order after all the years on the job together), and I bet if he has a machine at home, it's either a grind-and-brew to give him whole bean goodness in a more instant form, or it's that "one cup" model I gave my husband to keep at work. Insert coffee. Insert water. Brew.

"So, what'd you guys get up to last night." "Nothing!"

Tim. Oh, Tim. Remember last week when I said you should stop lying? Yeah... maybe time to take my advice because your "nothing" is louder than a lot of "somethings".

To be fair, Nolan did say, "You Guys", which might trigger Tim's Fight-or-Flight response. Fleeing the scene might have appeared less suspicious.

Lucy slips in with her well-practiced UC skills on full display. See, she's had time to prepare, this time, and she's not going to get caught in the early stages of her secret romance.

She rattles off her love of the new Chagall exhibit while Tim suddenly gets lost in the aroma of his coffee so he can't open his big mouth, again. He seriously can't even look at either of them.

Tim finds a spec of dust on the floor to admire, sips his coffee, and hopes nobody notices.

Also, can we talk about Lucy handing Tim his coffee!? I know she could have done it at any other time in their relationship. I mean, she was his Boot and then his Gofer. She's handed him MANY a cup of coffee over the years.

But there is something so bloody domestic about Lucy Chen handing her boyfriend a cup of coffee.

"Nothing? You had all morning to come up with a cover story and that's what you went with?"

First off, I love the tone change from Lucy sending Nolan off to confronting Tim.

Second, I love how Tim immediately has to right the wrong of him being perpendicular to her and set himself directly in front of her, feet pointing towards what he desires. (Any New Girl fans out there?)

"Woah, woah. He bought it, didn't he?" "Uhhh."

I love this teasing. Both Eric Winter and Melissa O'Neil excel at something I adore in actors... the Art of the HUM. It can be "uh" or "hm" or "mm".

I don't care which of the "H" "U" "M" s you use and in what combination, a great actor can use them to add layers to a scene and make it feel completely natural rather than written-in.

Chenford fans are blessed with both actors masterfully pulling it off. Think Matthew Goode in A Discovery of Witches. If there's a King of the HUM, it's him.

But these two are pretty high up there in terms of mastery.

"What if he had asked you a follow-up question about the exhibit?"

There's that competitive spirit coming out with these two. Tim wants to prove that his excuse is more fool-proof than hers.

And, Tim, while you may be the Master of Tests, Lucy is the Master of Cover Stories. Remember Dim and Juicy's meet-cute Lucy created that made you think naughty thoughts you tried to cover up with veiled barely-there compliments? Lucy's gonna school you, former TO.

"Let him. I read the catalogue to the exhibit cover to cover."

First off, how the hell does Melissa O'Neil make that line sound hot? The world may never know.

Secondly... BOOM, Tim Bradford! You've been schooled by the master! Lucy is the queen of preparation. For goodness sake, she read psych journals trying to prepare to break up with her ex-"Work In Progress".

Lucy has a pattern, and it's a good one when your SO becomes your SO and you don't want anyone to know... o.

"Mmhmm"

See? Master of the HUM.

"I hear you have Citizens Academy today." "I do. Do you have any tips?"

She trusts him completely, and I love that he immediately rattles off information to help her. At this point, he knows exactly what she needs to hear, and what will be useful to her.

Also, Tim's disdain for screenwriters is strong. Or someone in the writer's room is really tired of unsolicited screenplays in their inbox.

"So... um, what are you doing tonight." "Nothing... I hope."

Ooooh, Velvet Voiced Tim is back! Eric Winter puts this velvety quality into Tim's voice when he's in boyfriend-mode, and it's so bloody delicious.

I did VO for over 20 years, so I get SUPER excited about these little shifts in performance. Immediately, we know what he means. Yowza.

"Nothing sounds perfect."

Okay, I have to be upfront and honest, here. My original prediction was that they would not have sex for the first time off-screen and that they would not have sex this episode.

But when this scene dropped as a promo (and I love that they did widescreen with wings when it was too awkward for the crop), I second-guessed myself. Did they... do it off-screen!?

No. Now, I firmly believe, no. But this scene had me going for a minute!

Narratively, it makes more sense to drag it out. Yes, I know that in real life some people sleep with one another the moment they meet. But I believe for these characters in this moment... it makes sense to take their time.

But when I first heard they were doing "nothing" and they'd also done "nothing" the night before with only the morning to make up a cover story... I questioned my choices hard.

And now my mind's in the gutter.

Okay, readjusting. Let's get back to Tim's beautiful smirk as he watches his woman depart. "I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave", anyone? Our kitten is smitten.

Lucy On A Mission

Lucy works at the computer, lost in thought and using that big brain and compassionate heart of hers.

Aaron slides up, completely unaware of what's on her computer. He's ready to spill the tea, and the tea is standing right beside him.

"You'll never guess who's coaching Little League." "Nolan?" "No. Sergeant Friendly."

I love the glare Tim gives Aaron. Because it's his damn fault. But I also love Aaron poking fun at Tim. Their dynamic's been a lot of fun to watch this season.

"Whu- How did that happen? Can I watch?"

Ma'am. This is a PRECINCT. Please pick your panties up off the floor and resume normal operating function.

I mean, wow, Lucy! There was some heat in that question and Aaron is right there!

Lucy Materializes Out of Thin Air

I had to watch it twice to pinpoint where the hell she came from at the ball park. So, my initial surprise was akin to Tim's.

"Hey." Hi."

How. Is. This. HOT!? They're just saying "hi" and it's so charged with electricity the baseball field lights are about to turn themselves on. There is absolutely zero chill with these two since they started dating, let's be real.

"Um... who are you?" "What?" "I... the... a lot of heart? They're kind of a mess." "They're kids. It's supposed to be fun." "Yeah..."

I hear that edge in his voice on that line.

It's the same edge that gets into his voice anytime he discusses anything remotely connected to his father or childhood. So many of his choices are informed by the scars he still bears—physical and emotional.

Tim walks away, a little frustrated, because he can see Lucy doesn't get it. To be fair, he isn't explaining it. He's not communicating with her at all here.

But, also to be fair, he's never sought counseling or therapy for what he survived. There's a lot bottled up and it can be hard to pour it out in digestible bits if you've never learned how.

Genny fills in the gaps. That's all Lucy needs to process where Tim is and what he's going through.

I grew up with a lot of yelling, name-calling, and verbal and emotional abuse. Manipulation. Control.

One of my greatest joys is breaking those cycles with my own children—giving them a better childhood.

Tim watched the anger and the volatile nature of the last coaching situation here. He remembers his own father. He wants different for these kids, even if they aren't his own.

"He's trying not to be like him." "Yeah."

Lucy deflates a little, here. It was only silly puffery meant to tease, but now she gets it. Now she sees where this comes from, and she feels a little guilty. Of course, she didn't know, but now she does.

*Tim thumbs ups a kid dropping a ball* "Well, I mean, there is such a thing as over-correcting."

Here's where Lucy knowing Tim so well comes in. She doesn't try to talk to him about it. She doesn't try to tell him what to do.

Instead, she gets in there to help course-correct so Tim can keep being supportive, and she'll provide the structure so he doesn't have to have the anxiety of in any way resembling his father.

This is such a demonstration of love, to me. She knows he's not ready to deal with all of this. There will be a day—perhaps when his father dies—that he'll start to process through everything that happened. But, in the meantime, she'll help him through.

This is where Tim and Lucy live, now. It's a "we". It's an "us". It's something neither of them has ever had to this degree, before, even though Tim was married once-upon-a-time.

Lucy and Tim are a team, now, and this episode highlights why—they complement each other. They balance each other. They sharpen each other.

And in this way, Tim's very fortunate to be falling in love with someone with a pysch degree who can understand what's needed. She's the ideal partner to help with this because she knows him enough, now, not to push. But she also knows enough to provide a safe space for when he is ready to discuss.

"What are you doing?"

You never know what your girl is gonna do, do you, Tim?

To note, the last time he asked her this was when he was in the hospital recovering from spinal surgery. She was supporting him, then, too. She has a knack for it. (and I think the time before that was when he caught her putting boots in his locker... she also has a knack for pranks, of course)

"My name is Lucy. I am Coach Bradford's... friend."

Look. At. Tim's. FACE. Look at that bemused smile when she asserts she is his "friend". There was a time when he wouldn't even have accepted that moniker.

It wasn't until they were discussing her love life in the shop during the last 30 days of her training that she said, "we're friends" and instead of refuting it, he simply made a face.

And I love that she remains his friend even as they're transitioning into everything else. I often tell my children that my husband is my best friend—and I mean it. Nobody supports me like Matthew, lifts me up like Matthew, understands my trauma like Matthew, and makes me laugh like Matthew.

I love every layer of that man. And he loves every layer of me. And friendship goes a long way to getting to that point, I think.

Lucy rattles off instructions for how to throw a ball while Tim side-eye-fucks her and thinks of other things she can do with her hands as she's acting out the motions.

Come on, I'm not wrong here, people! Look at his face and tell me there aren't a few things happening in his mind that are not baseball-related but might involve running some bases.

Lucy disperses the kids, and Tim fires off a "You heard her" which is the Chenford Coaching Team equivalent of "Listen to your mother!"

He looks her up and down and smiles deliciously at Lucy, activating her praise kink in a delightful motion of her head.

Yes, Lucy Chen absolutely has a praise kink. And there's nothing wrong with that! But I love how Melissa O'Neil has been consistent with that little head swish Lucy does.

We've seen her do it throughout the years ("Maybe one day she'll be as good as you" comes to mind), and it never stopped. It only morphed.

Look at it at Lopez's wedding when he compliments her (in his way) and then asks her for a dance. Praise Kink Activated.

She does it at the end of 5x08 as we wait to fade to black, and there's a softer version of it when she's basking in Tim's adoration at the end of their first scene of 5x09 in the Watch Commander's office. Girl's got it bad for Tim Bradford.

He offers her the ball... but no he didn't. And I'm giggling like Lucy last episode because he's such a teenager around her, sometimes.

I've heard the expression all my life, "Love makes you young". I often think of Patrick Stewart wearing the Elf Song Hat while his wife recorded him (Google it... you'll die laughing).

With Tim, I feel like it resets him to before all the hurt and heartache in his love-life with Isabelle. He can be... free. Flirty. Fun.

But, seriously, Tim's the one who is going to get them found out for sure. Because, you know who had a front row seat to that eye-fuckery? Genny, that's who.

Y'ain't fooling anyone, Timothy.

"I think you two should co-coach. You were great together." "Oh, no, no. I'm ready to hand over the reins, entirely." "Not a chance."

I've thought about the layers in this little interaction quite a bit. Genny sees something here—whether it's the romance, the layered friendship, or the true partnership they've developed over the years.

But I feel like Tim's dealing with some self-doubt, here, and Lucy catches onto that.

I have a husband who deals with self-doubt. He's an incredible human, but I can tell when he's leaning into that and when I need to pull him back out and remind him how awesome he is.

I get that feeling here with Tim and Lucy. Maybe I'm projecting. But, I feel like he's saying, "She's better than me" and she's saying "No way, no how". Because he's not bad at this. Yes, he over-corrected a bit, but kids do need the support he offered. And Lucy brought the structure. They're better together.

I mean, just look at the way they're cleaning up together. Lucy's handing the bats to Tim and Tim's putting them away. They're doing it instinctively because helping one another and working together is completely natural, by now.

It's not something they have to discuss or consider—it's instinctual.

I've seen this in nature, before. A client of mine (yes, same client from last Meta) flew me out to Los Angeles a few times for work. I stayed with him and his wife, and I got to watch them work in the kitchen together.

After decades and decades of it being the two of them together, with no kids or anyone else in the way... it was like watching a dance.

That's Tim and Lucy. They move together rhythmically and naturally. May it be so in all aspects of their life—but I'm skipping to another episode that hasn't aired, yet, now!

"No, but seriously! I saw today why you work so well together."

And, Tim, poor, sweet Tim, opens his mouth. Tim can't get words out, and one look from his wife, and he knows to shut that mouth.

"We spend so much time together on, out on the job. It's so great that Tyler has been making friends so quickly after moving here."

Anyone else thinking Lucy's UC school was solely so she could cover up for her and her not-so-secretive secret boyfriend? Because, hello, it keeps coming in handy!

This is classic redirection. I use it with my children all the time. Just this morning my 5-year-old daughter was having an unusually hard time saying goodbye to go to school. Usually, she walks in without a glance back. Today, it was CLING city.

So, I went through the room until we finally finally found something to get her mind off of me so I could slip away.

Lucy's doing the same thing. She's pointing at something else in Genny's life to let that thought of "Tim and Lucy" slip away. It gives Genny something more personal to her to focus on, and shifts the conversation gently.

"We'll make sure he gets the best seat in the house."

Just thirty seconds ago, Tim was trying to get out of co-coaching, and they were both deflecting why they're great together, but now we're back to "we". Heck, we never left "we" for Tim and Lucy. They're a unit, now.

"What's wrong?" "There's something going on with my Domestic." "You want me to come? "No, it's okay. I got it."

Oh, how far we've come. In the past, if Tim said, "What's wrong?" to Lucy, it was surprising that he was taking interest. But, this is his girlfriend, and he knows her well. He looks to her phone for a clue as she approaches.

Then, he offers his help. This isn't TO Tim who wants to make sure his Boot doesn't mess things up. This isn't Sergeant Tim who is going to be backup for Officer Chen. This is Boyfriend Tim willing to be there for his woman, but asking what she wants because he knows she's more than capable of handling herself.

That's what hits me the hardest about this—he knows she's got it, but he's there if she wants him.

And I think that's why her "No" and the head-tilt comes off as intimately as it does... Lucy knows what Tim's offering and why. It's love he's demonstrating and she's sending a "message received" with that look.

And Tim's little "okay" downturn of his lip at the end of the clip even shows how he's not worried a bit. But he was going to offer. And I bloody love that.

Tim and Lucy and Wesley

I love this scene. It's so small and seemingly insignificant plot-wise, but it's the heart of the story, here. Okay, I'm tearing up a little.

PAUSE: TW Abuse CW Abuse

I don't want to give details, but I have people in my life who have been where these women are in the story. So, to me, I don't see the characters. I see my cousin. I see my friend. I see the girl when I was in college who was murdered by her boyfriend in the dorm.

In the case of the plot, this scene isn't necessary. But in terms of the context, it adds so bloody much. It's the message. It's the truth of what happens all too often. Gabby Petito is a recent case that made national headlines, but this happens all over, every day.

And what can we do? What options are there? How can we help? There is some heavy stuff in this episode. But, it's important for us to listen and learn.

END TW Abuse CW Abuse

I love that Tim has Lucy's back, here. She could have done this alone, but I bet she asked him along for his experience and for the weight of his strips in the discussion.

And I ADORE Shawn Ashmore (the sharp-eyed twin, as I've always thought of him), and there's something so irreverent about him sitting in that suit atop the desk that made me giggle a little the first time I saw it.

"Him and Bailey are just way too nice to be landlords." "Totally." *aggressive head-nodding Tim*

And like the Fool who took the stage immediately after the gruesome murder in the Royal Shakespeare Production of MacBeth (the Scottish play for my theatre siblings), there's the levity we need to help transition to what's next.

It's the rhythm of the scene and script where somehow this writer's room is tasked with heartache and hilarity in the same space. It takes skill to do well, and this scene does it well.

"Okay, hold on, you are a complete badass out on the streets-" *Tim question's wife's opinion aggressively* "Off hours, you're a little...." "Easy target."

Nolan's indignation combined with Celina's face make that moment. But it's all the rhythm of Tim and Lucy that gets us there. Tim and Lucy are still Tim and Lucy.

Lucy wants to try to find the compassionate angle, and Tim's going to tell it like it is.

Chenford Coach a Game

Tim and Lucy have me smiling ear-to-ear for so many reasons in this scene. Look at how sweet he is with the kids, making sure they have a good experience. Look how competitive she is. Miss "I like trophies" is coming out, and it's amazing.

"God, every time!" "Be encouraging." "Good. Good job. Good try." "We're gonna work on that."

Married. So married. Beyond married. This whole interaction is gold. And the matching hats and shirts!? Normally, I wouldn't think Prison Orange would be a good look on a cop, but these two pull it off!

Tim is coaching Lucy as much as he's coaching the kids. I see a little "teacher Tim" in that "Be encouraging", though far gentler than TO Tim. And his face right before he tells her, "We're gonna work on that" has me rolling. That little down-turned mouth cracks me up.

We're getting a sneak peek into their future with this one. And, as usual, Tim and Lucy are balancing one another out.

That's one of the things I really love about them. They're not the same person, like Lucy says his ex was. They're very different people who are on a parallel path and are willing to put in the work to make this work because they're worth it.

"I'm excited." "I know."

AHHHHHHH. I know it's a TINY, tiny thing, but the way that he so effortlessly leans into her, the way he cocks his head as he says, "I know." It's so married.

And I have to call out the camera work, here, and the directing. If we're paying attention, we see Nyla and Angela showing up as Blake goes to bat. From the other angle you might note Blake's father shooting to his feet as Blake's bat connects with the ball.

The director is allowing us to discover the story-line without dumping us in at that shot of Nyla and Angela surrounding Blake's father. And I bloody love it.

James Patterson (pre-ghost writers) took the same approach with his mystery books. If you were really paying attention, you always had the opportunity to discover the answer along with the detective. That was something the ghost writers just always missed.

It's fun to have the chance to be detectives yourself—and this director allowed us that chance.

And, I just looked it up. Robert Bella, again! That explains the composition of Tim and Lucy with the fence during the night scene at the ball-field—having Eric Winter take the two steps up so he'd be framed behind the fence instead of in the gap as Melissa O'Neil steps away for Lucy's call.

Anyway.... back to Blake's Criminal Dad...

I had hoped this was the way the story-line would go (with Blake's father being arrested at the end of the game), but I didn't call Nyla and Angela being involved.

So, that gives two more people front row seats to "Why the Hell are Tim and Lucy Coaching Together if They're Just Friends And Holy Crap Were They About to Kiss on the Sidelines?"

Also love the Genny is up there, and that she's positioned behind Blake's father. I don't know if she did it on purpose to help make him easier to find for Nyla and Angela, but that's my head-canon.

And LOOK at Tim and Lucy cheer Blake on! Married. So married.

Plus, that hi-five. I know we're all talking about what Tim has in his hand. Is it cash? We've seen him bet on things before (including that his Rookie would smoke everyone at firearm re-certification), but did Tim and Lucy bet on the game?

She definitely grabs on after the high five, and we see his fingers wiggling. Is he trying to get out of giving her the money? We might need Eric Winter and Melissa O'Neil to chime in on this one...

I have to say, I am loving domestic Chenford, and watching them find new layers to their relationship. I know a lot of people want snogging every week, but I am a huge fan of dolling it out in smaller dollops, much as the romantic aspects of this relationship have been leading up to "Do you want to go on a date?".

Yes, in real life, some people sleep together the moment they meet. Then, you have me and Matthew, who waited four years and until we were married. Lucy and Tim are somewhere between that, and I think they're doing what's right for these characters in this moment.

And I have to separate Chenford back into Tim and Lucy, for a moment, to acknowledge what might not be seen as "Chenford" to most, but totally is to me... Tim and Lucy had separate story-lines this episode.

Yes, Lucy came together on the baseball story-line. Yes, they converged at parts on the Domestic story-line. But, we got to also see them handle themselves without the other as backup. And I think that's so important for us to see as an audience—Tim and Lucy are still Tim and Lucy. They don't have to be together every second.

Tim was highly organized and communicative as a Sergeant in the shoot-out. We got to see his military-level calm and control on display.

For Lucy, we got to see her compassion, bad-assery, and conflict de-escalation without anyone having to back her up. She's a confident and competent cop.

Together, we love them. But I'm someone who also lovesTim and Lucy as Tim and Lucy—separate from Chenford.

I think it's important for the show to remind us who they are on their own so that we can appreciate them both, and not let "Chenford" become the only story-line for either. Both characters are rich and complex, and deserve the opportunity to shine separate from one another, not only when they share a scene.

PAUSE: CW Abuse TW Abuse

This story-line really broke my heart because I know those women. I've been the one in Lucy's position trying to help before one was nearly strangled to death by her husband. And she stayed... it was rough.

If you are in an unsafe situation, please reach out and get help. Here is the number for the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233

I like to keep these Metas light and frothy, but I'd be remiss if I didn't acknowledge this plot line that isn't a story for two many people in this country and in this world.

Yes, we watch television often for entertainment, but there can be some truth in the messages we receive.

END CW Abuse TW Abuse

As always, thank you for reading and joining me on this ride. I can't wait to see what's next for Tim, Lucy, and Chenford.st

[luvrodite]

the jason dad post 😵‍💫❤️‍🩹 you said that’s not nearly as many things as you want to say, i’m coming to you as an AVID dad!jason lover, please pretty please spill literally any and everything you have to say about that topic (if you’re up to it ofc) i’ve got the worst dad!jason brainrot he’s killing meeeeee

cw: pregnancy, children

thank u for indulging me and i am so sorry this is about to be soo incoherent because i'm so all over the place.

i think that if you have an overbearing family (who probably mean well but just don't understand that sometimes you need a bit of space) he is so your guy. he knows about families who are SO nosy like on a fucked up level. his brother probably has a whole profile on you. overbearing aunties are a breeze.

they throw you guys a baby shower and if you start crying in the car because you feel overwhelmed he's rounding the driveway to help you calm down. wipes your tears and asks you what you wanna do in his steadiest voice and you know he's going to back you up no matter what. has a hand on your back the entire time if you decide to go in and coordinates all communication with the seriousness of like his high level stakeouts.

uhhh uhhh i think jason and dick's relationship grows stronger as a result of this. like. that's his older brother. and he tells him because this is special and precious part of his life and he says it very solemnly and awkwardly when they meet up, and tries not to show how important it is to him that dick is part of it. tries not to show his brother that he feels this deeply about him being part of it. but he's still his younger brother and he's still gonna look up to him and want his approval. and dick is so. over the moon.

i think each of the family contribute in their own way but. i like to imagine damian, curious and a little awkward, helping to paint the nursery. he drops in randomly after school and the first time is a little sudden and you're not expecting him but you can't turn him away. he sits in silence for a little and then offers his own stiff little congratulations even though he'd already told you back when you and jason had announced it in front of the family.

it's so endearing and you ask him if he wants to see the nursery and he follows you through the house to the room where you and jason have planned to decorate for the baby. the entire time he doesn't take his eyes off you just in case, like he's got to take care of you in jason's absence. takes the role of soon to be uncle sooo seriously. you ask him if he would consider painting you something for the nursery and i think he takes it SO seriously.

jason goes out and buys a notebook once he's processed the news that you're going to be parents. it might be that day, it might be a week later. but i think he's the kind of dad who writes letters as your baby grows up. 'today we found out we were going to have you..' type thing and it's just so. heartfelt. and human. i don't think he even knows if the baby will ever see these, but he details how scared he feels and you can just read how much love he has already for you and the baby. he's a boy trying to do his best.

this is once again me projecting but. imagine the baby books. i love the idea of the nursery and picking out the books you're going to fill the shelf with. and as the baby grows you add more and more. fairytales and science and fiction and fantasy etc etc. jason reads to you when you can't sleep during the pregnancy

you fall asleep in the nursery one night, the both of you, and maybe a few years later, you unknowingly recreate it when the baby/small person has a nightmare and you and jason end up squished together on the bed with your world between the both of you. a tiny hand on your cheek and the other on their dad's shirt.

i was talking about this with keke (eurydizzy) beloved but i think the baby picks up on jason always calling you baby or a pet name and starts calling everyone that. they're tucked in his arms after a visit to uncle dick's and their little hand is smacking against their mouth in a clumsy blown kiss and you hear a tiny voice say 'bye baby!' to dick. (you guys end up staying another hour)

jason buys a camera and ends up documenting almost everything he can but. so do you. there are home videos on home videos on home videos. that's your world, why wouldn't you want to preserve it!!

another thing keke and i were talking about was the inner child wounds you guys would inadvertently heal. it makes me so emotional. you guys aren't perfect but. by god that baby is so loved. never once ignored, never dismissed. you treat them so seriously, and listen to everything they have to say.

anyway i am so emotional and have severe baby fever. i saw a mother and her baby on the bus the other day and almost started crying because they were so cute

[spookyserenades]

The way I already suspected when they were at the club… The way I already knew when you said there was gonna be angst… The way I definitely knew with him glued to his phone… And I still managed to have this face 👁️👄👁️ reading the ending. (I kinda want to punch him not gonna lie lmao) But seriously the way I screamed “Oh, COME ON!” *insert Jim Carrey gif with the water* at the end I sfhkgddhk. I honestly thought it was gonna be Hobi to have this storyline (if you say it’s ALSO gonna be him I’m gonna Geronimo out of my window🥲). I feel like Tae is gonna give her attitude on this and to be honest, my anger issues could never.

Amazing chapter as usual my dear! I was in a puddle with Joon in protective mode🥰 And between him, Jimin and Hobi i was like “wait is he gonna confess?!!??!! what’s going on asdfhjkkl” (especially with Jimin ‘cause I believe he’s gonna be the last one to get with the program, too fixated on being proper with her and whatnot) Loved y/n going all Bella Swan with the shields to protect her boys ✨u go girl✨ and the part with Jin 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 *ahem* yes. Yoongi being perfect as usual and deserving of the name Angel in every single way possible makes absolute sense.

also, to get distracted by nipple piercings no matter the situation is very real (it’s one of weaknesses) 🥵

All jokes aside, you are truly talented and I love the little community you created with your story ���� thank you for sharing this with us.

Kisses from Italy

Oh yeah there were definitely some breadcrumbs left to imply that Taehyung was "talking" to someone on his phone, especially after the club for Hoseok's birthday. Additionally, he hasn't been clinging to Y/N like glue :( NO JKDLAFJDS NOT THE JIM CAREY GIF THATS MY EXACT REACTION TOO 💀 I diddddd tease you all with the possibility of Hoseok and Alice being a thing. However, with Alice and her new workplace crush (AND the fact that she now knows Y/N loves Hoseok!!! GIRL CODE!!!) and the fact that Hoseok seems more interested in flirting rather than seriously pursuing a relationship, it was really just a distraction to surprise people later on with Tae...

AH but thank you so so much I'm thrilled you enjoyed it 🥺💕💕💕 plsss Protective Joon is everything to me, it's really fun to see how much he has opened up towards Y/N, and I think it has something to do with her resolute trust in him.

BELLA SWANNN what a queen!!! That's pretty much exactly what Y/N was doing, now that I think of it 💀 I have Twilight brain rot still even after all these years!!! And don't get me starteddd on Seokjin I am sO down bad for that man 🥵 Angel Yoongi... perfect petname for him, he's just a bundle of love, romance, and yearning (and loves to take care of people he cares abt!)

HELL YEAH PIERCED TATTED JEONGGUK AGENDA HAS BEEN MY THING SINCE DAY ONE! IDK if I'm trying to recreate the kinda guy I'd fall in love with when I was a high school emo, but he is certainly resurrecting long-buried traits I'm attracted to 💀

AH thank you my love, I am so so grateful, lucky, and happy to have our community where we get to chat and bond over our boys together all the time. I love you all endlessly and your support means everything 😭💜💕🥺

Kisses to you in Italy, one of my fave countries ever! 💕

[thebuckblogimo]

For me, this is when "the '60s" started.

October 23, 2023

Since we roomed together as freshmen in college almost 60 years ago, my buddy Eric and I have shared numerous letters and e-mails. Over the last few years we have compared personal insights into our early years at MSU. Recently he caused me to reflect on the subject of "when everything changed" on campus. I thought you might enjoy my reply to him. Here is my communication, edited slightly for the blogosphere:

Eric, My Boy...

Two years ago you asked me what kind of thought process brought me to Abbot Hall as a freshman in 1965. Then, a couple weeks ago, you e-mailed a reference to what life was like on campus during that first year at MSU. It struck a chord, inspiring me to reminisce about the zeitgeist of those times. So buckle up as I unload. Some of this stuff you've heard before. Some of it you may not be aware of:

A month prior to the move from my East Dearborn neighborhood to East Lansing, some of my closest friends--Tony, Garry, Larry and Vince--had already begun their freshman years in late August at Western Michigan and U-M, schools that were on the trimester system. Other close friends--Joe, Butch, Keller, Bernie, the "Bear," etc.--probably hadn't thought seriously about what they would do after high school. Within a year they were all either drafted into the service, enlisted, or joined the reserves due to the escalation of the War in Vietnam.

MSU was on the quarter system back then. I would be moving into Abbott Hall at the end of September--on my own, without anyone from my considerable childhood "support group." For the first time since going to camp, I was beginning to feel--pick an adjective--apprehensive, anxious, lonely. 

For some strange reason, three images stand out for me from those last 30 days that I was home: 1) shopping with my Mom for "school clothes," including Italian "swirl" shoes and a brown corduroy-and-suede winter jacket at the downtown Hudson's store; 2) reading a story in the Detroit News--while sitting on a milk crate, in the doorway of my Dad's marble shop--about a 13-3 MSU football victory in the season opener against UCLA; and 3) sitting in my Dad's '63 Pontiac Bonneville, feeling melancholy as I listened to Johnathon King's "Everyone's Gone To The Moon" on the radio while he ran into Allo Bar at 35th and Horatio in Detroit for a "fast one" after work.

During the run-up to the start of school, I kept thinking about how I would soon be entering an unknown world. It was heady stuff for the first kid in the Bokuniewicz family to attend college.

Finally, on a Sunday afternoon, my parents drove me to East Lansing, helped me move my stuff into the dorm, and said goodbye. I didn't kiss my mother. I'm not sure I even hugged her, as my family just didn't do that sort of thing. My folks would never again set foot on the MSU campus.

I met my two roommates at 271 Abbot Hall that day--a couple of guys from "the thumb" of Michigan. One with a vaguely moppish head of hair, wearing jeans, penny loafers and "no socks" (that would be you); the other a pimply-faced son of a big-time sugar beet farmer who told me he was an "egg major." (Turns out he actually said "ag major." Who knew?)

Usually wearing tight pants and my Italian swirls during those first few weeks--and with a jar of Dixie Peach Pomade on my dresser, plainly visible to all who entered our room--it took only a few days for me to realize that in the eyes of the guys in the House of Abode, I had been judged as someone "different."

A couple guys, I would eventually learn, thought that I was possibly a member of a gang. I was being perceived by some as that "streetwise kid from Detroit."

I began thinking, What don't these people get about me? And what is it about them? When they dressed for Sunday dinner (as we were required to do in the dorm in those days), they wore herringbone sport coats, rep ties and wing tips. I wore a sharkskin suit and "thick-on-thin" socks. They liked tunes such as "Little Honda" by the Hondells, which I thought was kinda weird. As a matter of fact, I was amazed by the proliferation of Hondas (especially Honda Hawks) all over the MSU campus.

In my neighborhood, guys rode big-ass Triumph, BSA and Norton motorcycles. We listened to the Temptations, Four Tops and obscure groups on black radio stations. Where I came from, most popcorn-machine-riding, bubble-gum-music-listening types would be derided as "cake eaters."

So that's the backdrop to the period you succinctly described in a dozen words: "The times, they weren't a-changin' yet, but a change was gonna come."

And "Whoa, Nellie," did things ever change.

During that first quarter at MSU, I recall sitting in my seat at the Nat Sci building one morning, reading the State News before class started, about Mario Savio and the Free Speech Movement at Berkeley. It seemed that people all over campus were talking about it. Also, I was aware that something called the Gulf of Tonkin incident had occurred the previous year, but now I was beginning to hear about a troop build-up in South Vietnam.

The change that was gonna come--at least in East Lansing--seemed to begin with the Ramparts magazine article a few months later (April of '66) about MSU's clandestine involvement with the CIA and South Vietnamese government. I remember well the four-color illustration of a large-breasted, Vietnamese-looking MSU cheerleader--Michigan State pennant in hand--on the cover.

Next thing I knew, shit was hitting the fan. 

That story marked the beginning of things radical and revolutionary on campus. I soon found myself reading more than just the sports section every day and listening to political debates among students in the grill. Sophomore year I started attending speeches in protest of the war at Fairchild Theater; and about "black power" and the class struggle, as espoused by the Black Panther Party; and about revelations concerning ground bits of bone and mouse ears that could be found in hot dogs, according to consumer advocate Ralph Nader.

After the Ramparts story, it seemed as though students were railing everywhere against the Vietnam War--in the State News, at gatherings in kivas, and at sites on campus such as the old administration building and Beaumont Tower.

Initially, I was bewildered by it all. My Dad and uncles were World War II veterans. I had never heard them criticize the concept of war. How could our country not be right about what it was doing in Southeast Asia, I thought? 

I can't pinpoint the exact moment that I came to understand that the War in Vietnam was "all wrong," but by the time you and I moved into 276 Abbot Hall (or was it 275?) in the fall of '66, changes of all kinds were indeed on. Some examples:

Long Hair. The style on campus was transitioning from Brian Wilson-like to Mick Jagger-like. (By Thanksgiving I was parting my hair rather than combing it back ala Bobby Rydell.) Guys began wearing "fatigue jackets" and girls were getting into the "peasant look." (Thanks to your influence, I ditched my typical footwear for a pair of Bass Weejuns in the fall and a pair of Bates Floaters to plow through the snow winter term. These were the first mini steps in a change of personal identity for me.) Along with the changes in hair styles and clothing on campus we began hearing terms like "hippies, radicals and freaks."

The Music. By September of '66, the Beatles had released at least a half dozen albums. Same for the Rolling Stones. The next thing I knew, you went from being a Chad and Jeremy fan to a devotee of the Mothers of Invention, as well as Captain Beefhart. Big-time change. I hung in there as the maven of Motown in the House of Abode which, of course, underwent a name change to the House of Abortion.

The Sexual Revolution. I recall walking alone to the auditorium across from Bessie Hall to hear someone--I have no idea who--give a speech about the sexual revolution. I recall sitting in my seat when the speaker on stage exhorted everyone to turn and look into the eyes of the person next to us, and, on the count of three, to yell "pussy"--ostensibly to help us get over our inhibitions. I thought to myself, Lenny, we're not at St. Al's any more.

The Generation Gap. I think it was Jack Weinberg of the Free Speech Movement who said, "Don't trust anyone over 30." I recall you concluding, "When I turn 30 I won't be able to trust myself anymore." And every time I would go home and see my next door neighbor, Mr. Phillips, some of my uncles and, eventually, work associates from the Greatest Generation, we would engage in a lively debate about "the war." I think of that time as the beginning of the first "great divide."

Politics. Now I was really paying attention to the national dissent over Vietnam. In fact, practically every student on campus was paying attention. I started subscribing to Newsweek and would do so for the next 40 years, in order to stay apprised of the great issues of the day. I even took an elective class called Great Issues, as well as a political science class called The Isms (socialism, Marxism, Leninism, Communism, Fascism). By junior year I was watching the CBS Evening News with Walter Cronkite practically every night. I couldn't wait to hear the insightful commentary of Eric Sevareid at the conclusion of each show.

The Civil Rights Movement. As a child, I had been aware of "colored" kids being escorted into an all-white school in the South during the Eisenhauer administration. But it was Martin Luther King who epitomized "the movement" in the early-to-mid '60s with his non-violent approach to civil disobedience. Then came the Detroit riot during the "long, hot summer of 1967." "The times they were a-changin'."

Drugs. I'm not even sure that I had heard about pot or LSD in high school. But during that first term at MSU there was all kinds of coverage in the student newspaper, Playboy magazine and other media about Dr. Timothy Leary and his experiments with LSD. He was exhorting everyone to "Tune in, turn on, drop out." Or was it "Turn on, tune in, drop out"? Anyway, by the time we graduated, it was the rare college kid who had not at least tried smoking reefer. Beyond that I did dexedrine a few times to stay up all night to cram for final exams, but I never did a psychedelic trip on acid.

Many times I have said that society changed more from 1965 to 1970--socially, politically, racially, musically, culturally, sexually, etc.--than during any other five-year period in my lifetime. And, while it was happening, our football jones was being satisfied by Duffy Daugherty, Bubba, and his All-American buddies, leading up to the first "game of the century," the 10-10 tie with Notre Dame in the last game of the '66 season, and a share of consecutive national football championships our first two years in school.

Oh, how the world turned in the '60s. For my money, it was the best time in history to be a student at MSU

Ad finem.

[tatakaeeren]

first off i also just wanna say the fact that you continually ask me questions on stuffs means a lot to me adfadfadfasd it soothes me to know my extrovert rambling personality doesn't cause too much annoyance to you asdfasd <333333

BUT ALSO ALSO I WATCHED THIRD EPISODE BC I'VE BEEN PUTTING OFF BC PAIN AND WELL YAH PAIN *cries into pillow*

NOW SHOUJO RECS WOOP WOOP (i will give u the links of where i read them too ^^)

Sesame salt and pudding- https://bato.to/series/81088/sesame-salt-and-pudding

so basically a 20 year old and a 40 year old drunkenly marry each other. I PERSONALLY love age gap stories and the 40 year guy is just *screams into pillow bc of hotness* but also the way they handle situations and everything is amazing the female lead is strong and confident in herself and not just a wet napkin

Loving Yamada at Lv999- https://bato.to/series/98627/loving-yamada-at-lv999-official

SO GOOD. idk if you've read it or seen the anime but i LOVE KUUDERES AND YAMADA IS THAT SO ARGH i love. older female lead (i think they're like two years apart but people were upset that she was like 21 and he was like 19 so i have to say that even tho it isn't creepy or anything BUT YAH)

wotakoi: love is hard for an otaku- https://wotaku-manga.com/

SO GOOD PART TWO. this is like grown adult romance i would say since they're all coworkers and like it's definitely the "i am dating my best friend" (literally) trope which i absolutely love and it's refreshing if you need a break for like high school romance yk?

My reason to die- it's a webtoon but you don't have to pay for it whoop whoop

PAIN. it's still ongoing updates every tuesday and it's SO GOOD BUT OH MY GOD THE PAIN IT CAUSES *screams in a corn field* bc like the male lead just loves her so so much and the way the author portrays like the little acts of affection through simple touches and whatnot is FUCKING AMAZING.

Here you are- https://bato.to/series/70482/here-u-are

I SHOULD SAY IT'S BL and i know that's not everyone's fancy but i personally think that like even if you someone isn't a fan of the genre to give it a try. There's no like nsfw outright, hints to it but it's not done in like a fetish way. I've cried my eyes out to this one because the characters all just feel so real. the author did an amazing job just making the characters come alive and so even if someone is like ew bl PLEASE give it a chance.

Love for Sale- https://mangabuddy.com/love-for-sale

yes this is another BL. Let me explain. there are nsfw scenes and whatnot but like, the CHARACTERS THE CHARACTERS. another one where I've cried to. The "top" for lack of a better description is somewhat aromantic, but not like oh I'm toxic man way but like in a. that's just the way he is because he can't figure out what love even is, so he uses his money to show people love because that's the only thing that makes sense to him. I am not giving an apt description but seriously, it's amazing as well, like you really get invested in the characters and i just love it.

THATS ALL FOR NOW SORRY IF YOU'VE READ SOME OF THESE BUT HOPEFULLY NOT ALL

-lavender anonieee

Hi how are you doing today?? i'm glad you feel that way! I ask you a bunch of questions because I am genuinely interested in your answers! you have different and fun opinions + I can learn more about new anime or manga and I get to know you more 😉

Oh come here let me hug you because after the third ep, we all needed a hug, a warm blanket and mentally staying at the beach with them.. let's forget the other half of the ep happened 😭

Thank you for the recommendations and the link!!! I didn't know two of them (Sesame salt and pudding and love for sale) so I definitely added them to my list!! thank you for including the summary, they really picked my interest thanks to that! 💖

[noxiatoxia]

heres an anon ask you can use to write/talk more about kaoru getting hurt and hikaru freaking out bc i love any content that has them freak out about the other hurting

OMG SPINS YOU AROUND IN MY ARMS THANK YOU ANON <3 !!

Ok WELL. I have. lots and lots of thoughts. So i did say before I like it best when Kaoru is the one who is injured because.....well ok admittedly I like fucking with Kaoru but ALSO I really love writing Hikaru's reactions. He's always so emotional and overreactive at times. It's fun illustrating the pure panic he's thrust into even in situations where Kaoru really isn't in any huge danger. I'm just. a sucker for characters absolutely flipping out at the smallest sign that somebody they love is hurt.

I've talked b4 about a concept where Kaoru gets a painful but non-lethal or life-altering injury, nothing drastic, but..........ok let me be cringe.....i wanna talk about the potentially darker stuff.

Tw for like, a lot of whump tropes. kidnapping, murder, etc.

Okay. I'm gonna jump into it with an idea involving kidnapping.

This is actually really interesting to me in the Ouran universe, because unlike some series, there's...actually a lot of legit reasons as to why you'd try to kidnap a number of these characters. iirc (dont quote me on it tho) it even almost happened in the manga to kyoya?? from what i've heard. again don't quote me.

SO being rich heirs to a big name company, trying to kidnap one or both the twins? It's actually a really plausible thing to happen.

I think the twins get off lucky in some aspects. Namely, they're identical. In some cases, I could see them not caring which twin they got, but maybe they want Hikaru the most since he's the eldest (and therefore the inheritor) but...which one is hikaru?? and besides, they're always together, meaning you'd HAVE to deal with 2 people. kidnapping two people is a lost of hassle. I think they've avoided it this long on those facts, among just good security and whatnot.

But let's say, one day, they aren't so lucky. dunno if this would happen when they're younger, like middle school, so they're not nearly as strong as they could be. Or it does happen in high school. whichever u want to imagine i suppose.

It could happen in a LOT of ways. maybe they got into a scuffle with some guys and they only got Kaoru. Maybe out of fear kaoru lied and said he was hikaru so they wouldn't go after his brother. maybe they just didn't care and got the first twin they saw.

I can imagine, if both twins were present, they would fight hard. they aren't trained in any way, and with no guards or police to help, they're helplessly overpowered, but they fight like their life depends on it (because for all they know it DOES) and they manage to put up a good struggle.

Maybe they DO end up getting away. Obviously they don't win the fight, but they manage to put enough distance between themselves and their kidnappers that they can run as fast as they can and as far as they can. they end up hiding somewhere so nobody can find them as they catch their breath. They're terrified out of their minds and are huddling together, breathing shakily. they both have some cuts and bruises. they wait until they think it's safe enough to call for help.

But what if Kaoru was seriously injured during the altercation? They still get away, but Kaoru is really struggling to keep up with Hikaru. he's limping terribly because the prick stabbed him in his side and he's bleeding everywhere, but pure adrenaline is making him sprint. Once they hide, Kaoru collapses and as the adrenaline fades THAT'S when it becomes an issue. The pain readily becomes apparent to him and it hurts so bad he can't really move. Blood is getting everywhere and he's breathing really fast, probably because he's so scared.

Hikaru is in a full blown PANIC. he's trying so hard to calm kaoru down, telling him to keep his eyes open, it'll be okay, he's calling an ambulance. He pulls his own shirt or jacket off to press to Kaoru's wound to try and stop the bleeding, but it just soaks through.

The shock and adrenaline wearing off might make Kaoru begin to cry a little as the barricaded emotions and pain coming surging through. this obviously only scares hikaru more.

it'd be fucking worse though if the kidnappers succeeded. in getting kaoru, that is. Oh my god. Especially if they injured him. his brother is bleeding and screaming and these people have him and hikaru can't catch up. he'd feel SO guilty and responsible, even if he physically couldn't do anything bc they injured him too. they like, fucking stabbed him or shot him and he can't move but fuck they have kaoru!! why isn't he doing anything!?

he'd spend all day and night and the days after looking for kaoru, not resting until he gets his little brother back.

It'd be hell on them both. Kaoru is scared and alone and in pain. Hikaru is freaking out and snapping at everyone, yelling at them to do better, find kaoru faster because it'll be YOUR faults if he dies or if something bad happens to him. He's just really, really scared and under so much stress. He doesn't sleep, at least not well, until Kaoru is found. When they rescue Kaoru one way or another, Hikaru is holding him so, so tightly and that's when he finally allows himself to cry, because he was SO fucking scared and this whole thing was a living nightmare and he's so unbelievably ungodly happy to have kaoru back in his arms alive and safe. He doesn't let go of him for hours and snaps at anybody who gets near them. I think it's soothing for Kaoru, too. After the trauma of what just happened, being alone with Hikaru in his embrace makes him feel less lonely and vulnerable.

Don't get me fuckin started if they BOTH were kidnapped though. I think the kidnappers, if they were smart, would figure out very early on they could get them both to comply by threatening Kaoru. Kaoru is already more compliant than Hikaru; he knows when he should and shouldn't fight back. But hikaru isn't. he'll fight these bastards, give them a hard time, do everything to try and break free. Where ever they're being held, Hikaru is causing them so much trouble, and even when they threaten to hurt him, even when they do hurt him, he doesn't really stop. Not for long, at least.

They'd probably find that if they threaten Kaoru, that gets Hikaru to shut up quickly. They threaten to slice Kaoru's throat if Hikaru refuses an order of theirs, has a knife to his throat. Suddenly, Hikaru is begging them not to hurt Kaoru, saying he'll do anything they want.

You can imagine like, any dark or fucked up scenario you want. But basically, I really DO think Hikaru would endure literally anything for Kaoru. As long as they don't hurt Kaoru, Hikaru would take anything and everything they throw at him. Kaoru hates it. He feels so fucking guilty that these awful things are happening and it's because Hikaru doesn't want him getting hurt.

Realistically, you could say most kidnappers wouldn't try to hurt them. They want hostages because they want money, and these kids have lots of money. Hurting them is a last resort reserved for making them comply. I guess it depends if the kidnappers are after something else/get some sort of sick enjoyment out of hurting them, or seeing Hikaru panic when they threaten his brother.

RELATED idea......murder attempts.

again, while I think kidnapping is a more realistic scenario given the Hitachiin's wealth, assassination is also plausible for several similar reasons. It could also just be a case of unfortunate luck having a run in with some less than well meaning person.

But like...Kaoru getting attacked by someone. Their attempt is lethal. They caught him off guard so they have the upper hand, and they're probably using a weapon like a knife to injure him.

Hikaru is never too far away from Kaoru at a given moment, and so he luckily wasn't very far when he hears his brother cry out. And when he sees what's happening, hears the screaming, the attacker's threats, the blood....he goes fucking. ballistic.

It's not like he's even thinking, he just ACTS. It's all a blur as he takes the attacker by surprise and dislodges the knife from their hand. the thing is, if Kaoru doesn't cry out to stop him, if the attacker doesnt just run away, there is a good chance Hikaru actually takes that knife and kills the person himself. He doesn't really think about it. he's high off adrenaline and seeing red from seeing somebody trying to kill his little brother. He's not fucking thinking, just acting on pure instinct. And instinct is telling him he needs to protect Kaoru at any cost necessary. And without hesitation, that includes stabbing a knife into somebody's throat.

He's in a bad daze as the attacker collapses and he focuses on Kaoru, who's also on the floor or at least crouched/keeled over, bleeding and in awful pain. There's blood all over Hikaru's hands and probably his shirt but he doesn't think about it as he crouches down to pull kaoru into his arms. i don't think either of them think to call the police. hikaru's mind is pure static focused only on kaoru. he's not even saying anything. the fact he killed another person hasn't even set in yet, he's just protectively shielding his brother and plugging his wounds with his hands, breath trembling. kaoru's breath is also trembling and he has tears in his eyes but he isn't saying anything. he's shaking. i honestly think police only show up because somebody else saw/heard what happened and called them, and once they show up and confront the twins, kaoru nearly passed out and hikaru pretty much dissociated, does hikaru wake up from his daze and realize what just happened, and oh my god i just killed another person.

i think in this case unlike others, he'd instantly let medics see kaoru. usually he doesn't want anyone near kaoru. not even medics. but he realizes as he snaps out of it just how bad of shape kaoru is in, and he feels awful he didn't call and ambulance and instead spaced out as he squeezed his brother to his chest as he bled everywhere. im sure hikaru also gets into some trouble for the killing thing but tbh good money + circumstances im sure he's let off the hook. that certainly does NOT take away from the trauma though because something like that fucks you up for life, and im sure his hands probably shake really badly anytime he has to hold a knife now.

(^^ that could be a whole story in an of itself... i love trauma recovery <3 both twins would be so fucked up after that experience. should write it sometime)

OKAY ON THE LIGHTER END OF THINGS.... (well, somewhat) just. accidents and other major injuries. Nobody is trying to hurt anybody else, it just sort of happened.

I actually had this idea in my head once in relation to my Kaoru Has Depression thread which i sorta forgot about bc i never posted it on there bc it seemed rather dark/edgy even for that thread and tbh idk if it's in-character(??) but with tweaking i think it could work.

the set up doesnt really matter tbh, but in my head the reason this happens is because Kaoru's been very in and out of it lately. second year of high school and he's dealing with reeeeally bad depression (cuz. i hc he has severe diagnosed depression somebody fucking tell that guy to see a doctor already) and with this comes him being unfocused and generally dissociating a lot. Anyways, it sort of happens at the worst possible time. Kaoru blanks out and is just on auto-pilot and is talking walks. He does this routinely now to clear his head, and he always goes without Hikaru because unfortunately Hikaru is the cause (indirectly) of his stress in more areas than one. so he's alone not really present and just walking wherever his feet take him.

Multiple things could happen here, really. And i have 2. the first one is, well, getting involved in a traffic accident.

i mean if you're wandering around not paying attention to your surroundings and suddenly just step onto a roadway or passage and you aren't aware of that, yeah it's likely a car is gonna hit you.

now i think thankfully kaoru is in a somewhat residential area wherever he's walking aka the speed limit is 25 which isn't good to be struck at but it's not like. 55. so anyways that fucking hurts. it knocks him right out of his depression-induced daze as he's flung across the road either into a patch of grass or onto the curb (if ur Evil) and everything Fucking Hurts. it probably breaks his leg or something, maybe something worse, maybe there's blood. internal bleeding for sure but idk if there would be many outward signs.

the person who hit him is probably panicking like oh fuck are you okay im calling an ambulance right now. and kaoru is still a little dazed, having been snapped from his dissociating to now being in excruciating pain and he can't feel his leg. his hands are shaking horribly but he manages to get his mostly undamaged phone out of his pocket and call hikaru and it's probably really awkward because kaoru is unusually calm because the whole thing hasn't really washed over him yet.

"Hey, Kaoru!" "Hey, Hikaru. Um, just to let you know, I'm not gonna be home when I said I was" "?? Why?" "Oh well, I got hit by a car. I'm probably going to a hospital." "WHAT"

ofc hikaru RUSHES to the hospital to see kaoru only to have to wait a few hours bc they have to make sure kaoru is okay. operations and shit. Kaoru is still pretty out of it even when Hikaru is by his bed-side near tears and Kaoru can't even really understand why... (mental illness)

ok a 2nd idea I had........this one is weirder bear with me.

i like. tropes where characters are Stuck somewhere and have to Survive with it. esp in unfavorable conditions. so, related to what i said earlier: kaoru going for a walk and not paying attention, except this time he's in the woods bc nature pretty or smth. not looking, he takes a wrong step and falls down a small cliff/steep hill, and then he lands...wrong. like, injures his back. and he can't get back up.

plus, his phone either broke on the tumble down or it's dead, so he's just kind of. well. fucked.

i like scenarios like this cuz it's like. the fear and the feeling of powerlessness, the utter loneliness and idea of dying alone. especially for kaoru, that's really scary. it's the one thing he's terrified of most. and since he can't move, he just has to hope somebody finds him. that they care enough to look for him.

maybe he gets lucky and somebody - friend or stranger - finds him relatively quickly, like in a few hours. maybe he's not so lucky, and he's stuck there for over two days.

obviously, i like Maximum Evilness but also I think it could potentially be. interesting? Kaoru is already so mentally unstable. He's already horrifically lonely and depressed. Being forced to be stuck in the dirty creepy woods for days on end, alone? I can only really imagine the things he might think up, what conclusions or feelings he'd reach. Especially as he grows hungrier/dehydration, that would cause major issues not just bodily, but psychologically. Hallucinations/psychosis, generally just. making his depression/anxiety worse. He's a bit of a hysterical mess there wondering if he's being left to die on purpose because nobody fucking cares about him. He wonders if he can even blame them.

I like to think it's Haruhi who finds him, actually. the whole host club are searching with the ootori private police and regular police. haruhi elected to search the woods but surprisingly, hikaru (who has been worried SICK this whole time) tries to shoot it down. they're all under the assumption kaoru was kidnapped, it makes the most sense, and what kidnapper is hiding out in the woods? but tamaki convinces hikaru to give it a shot and so he lets haruhi go.

it's probably a fucking miracle she finds him in time or finds him at all. Kaoru probably freaks out at first thinking it's a stranger or somebody here to hurt him but when he sees haruhi he's insanely glad. he just wants to go home where it's warm and there's food and his brother will be waiting for him.

obviously though, again, experiences like that are pretty traumatizing. hikaru feels like shit for almost preventing haruhi from finding his brother, bc had she not done that he probably would have died. and so he does NOT leave kaoru's side and hovers over him like 24/7.

in general...i just like prompts where kaoru gets hurt, and hikaru proceeds to go fucking feral. wail on the person hurting kaoru, or if there is no perp, just hold kaoru and shield him from any harm and going ape shit if anyone tries to get near them. i think fast-paced traumatic experiences like that really freak hikaru out esp in the moment, seeing kaoru get hurt so fast, the fact he could have almost died. it fills him with adrenaline and fear and so he snaps at anybody because he's so freaked out and he just wants to be alone with kaoru where it's slow and safe. kaoru is in his arms, nothing is happening, everything is fine and sitting still and he's alright. and anything that disrupts that sends him into a frenzy.

so...sorry about going Off about this. i think i derailed the point a few times BUT you asked for rambles you get rambles <33 if you have any dark hikaru&kaoru ideas or just stuff abt them in general ...... always feel free to send. or prompt me onto another ramble.