#but like.....there is NO being neutral on aspec inclusionism THERE IS NOT!!!!!

[jongins-gf]

The utter fucking INUNDATING amount of aphobia that seeps through almost EVERY OTHER single post on this hellsite is so......exhausting. asexual/aromantic people are constantly shit on, not respected, or dismissed because "ace discourse is OPTIONAL and I (A NON-ASPEC PERSON) am SO TIRED OF DISCUSSING IT!!! there's no point in discussing whether these actual people deserve respect or not! God will you SHUT UP about it, I THE NON-ASPEC AM TIRED OF IT! :))))))"

Aphobia is in so many of the posts that people I (follow/respect/am friends with) reblog. People I like CONSTANTLY reblog aphobic shit, no matter how blatant it is to the core of the post or not. People I am FRIENDS with keep doing this shit too. It's exhausting how invisible aphobia is to allos, how aspecs can't even fucking explain it without being laughed it.

It's so exhausting how much of this shit gets passed under the radar, how aphobia is NOT considered a thing AT ALL (even the thought of aphobia as a concept is completely laughable for most people, like, they consider this shit on par with goddamn HETEROPHOBIA).

It's exhausting seeing huge blogs with huge followings constantly fighting issues like biphobia, lesbophobia, transphobia, etc., (things that are all GOOD to fight against and SHOULD BE FOUGHT), and then, when it comes to the aspec community.......literal utter silence, or annoyance/""""exhaustion"""" at the """"discourse"""". Like. As if the existence of our struggles and oppression are up for debate at all???

If you're not with us, if you're fucking "neutral" on """"ace discourse""", you're against us. Fuck everyone. I'm so tired of this shit.

[variant-archive]

Variant: not completely conforming to the societal and cultural ideals or roles of gender, sex, orientation, sexuality, relationships, expression, and other related forms of self-identification. Not being accepted as a member of conformant society due to one’s identity differing from the one assigned to and expected of them. To specify certain subcommunities, terms like gender variant, attractional variant, and relational variant can be used.

“Conformant” is the antonym- meaning not variant-  because cishetalloperisexmonoam(screaming for 11 minutes) is too long and I don’t want to keep shortening it to cis/het because some variants are both cis and het, but variant in another way like gender nonconformity, intersexness, or non-monoamory.

I discuss this term more in this post.

The flag stripe/color meanings are of particular importance because they’re meant to represent certain variant sub-communities and I want to make sure it covers everything to clarify what identities are variant. Colors are chosen based on their use in pride flags/symbols and their association with certain identities. I also wanted the flag to evoke other variant flags like genderqueer when you examine it closely. might edit this if I forgot something. To be fair, there is a lot to cover. Just know that these aren’t complete lists… because that would be a list of every term ever. I’m sticking to mostly broad terminology because of that.

From top center to bottom corners:

Lilac: represents all of the variant community and inclusionism. Lilac is the color representing variance.

Purple: represents (gender)queer, gender/pronoun nonconforming, cross-aligned, androgynous/androgyne, ace-spectrum, altersex, wlw, transgenital, genderfluid, amplusian, mspec/pluralian, (bi/pan)curious, genderfuck, strayt, kingender, varioriented, gender creative, transexpressive, and ficto- variants.

Blue: represents non-monoamorous, non-monogamous, alterous, objectum, conceptum, gay (all kinds of gay), gai, aplatonic, lesbian, auto-, paro-, multigender, enbian, fluitic, flex-, and (responsible/consensual) kinky-identified variants, as well as variants in nontraditional relationships or with variant relationship orientations/preferences.

Yellow: represents neutral, intersex,  abinary, xenine/xin/xenogender, aesthetigender, ambident, iso, ultric, pangender, anthrotherio-, nblnb, pulsaric, aporagender, nontrinary, pandrogynous/pandrogyne, limno-, maverique, and queerplatonic variants.

Green: represents agender, neutrois, aro-spectrum, angenital, orientationgender, agorarelational (open relationship), mlm, medusan/alloda-, aliagender/other gender, oriented aroace, antigender, neurogender, synesgender, heartedgender, and abro- variants.

Black: represents aspec, anattractional, omnia-, repulsed/ARC, nonpronominal/pronounless, unaligned, nonamorous, apothigender, apothibinary, leptrois-spectrum, negabinary, sexless, neither gender, gendervoid, nullgender, anonbinary, and genderpunk variants.

Gray: represents gray-aspec, uingender, graygender, questioning, neuro-oriented, genderflux, flexible, amplusic, autogamous, gamyflux, celibate-oriented, utrinque, demigender, pre-, and nongender variants.

The shape is to evoke queer chevrons and the letter v. Exclusionists/REGs, truscum/transmeds, gatekeepers/identity policers, anti-mogai/neolabel/neopronoun and anyone who would exclude any variant identity can’t use the flag, interact with me or this post, or participate in the variant community. We’re inherently inclusionist and so is the flag and term.

[echidna-auxiliatrix]

Incoherent vent post incoming

I really do fucking hate being a lesbian, ace-spectrum, and autistic. It makes existing on this website so damn hard. It's like these groups are always fucking against each other. "If you use aspec then youre ableist and also asexuals stole #actuallyautistic". Thats something ive heard over and over from certain dumbasses on the exclusionist side trying to use autistics as pawns in this stupid fucking discourse. I'm almost completely neutral on ace discourse at this point and damn every time I read something about it my blood fucking boils. Aspec never fucking meant autism. Aces didnt steal the #actually____ tags from us or anyone else. Those tags are meant to be a safe space for people who's main tags might be unsafe (ex. The autism tag being full of anti vaxxers and ableist and the asexual tag being flooded with porn) it seems like the same number of autistic people are on both sides of the discourse but neither side will quit using us as their pawns. Lesbians and asexuals constantly pit themselves against each other which I fucking hate. Certain aces say lesbophobic shit like constantly saying that lesbians are terfs and derailing lesbian positivity posts to talk about terfs and that one person who literally said anyone who uses the lesbian label is a terf. And lesbians saying shit abt aces like the whole "turbo virgins" deal and the whole "asexy" thing and shutting down ace headcanons. The truth is that lesbians and female aces (and I use female to mean woman not afab ppl) have more in common than we do different and we need to confront that and fucking get our shit together. Another thing that bothers me is how because autistic ppl are more likely to be asexual than allistics inclusionists can seem like theyre trying to protect autistics when honestly? The majority of ppl in this stupid discourse are allistics using us as pawns. And I know there are autistics on both sides and yeah y'all have your reasons and whatever but just please know that at the end of the day allistics ESPECIALLY neurotypical allistics are our oppressors and at any other point in history they wouldve gladly called us a bunch of retards. Aspec has never been a thing for autism and this comes from someone whos been lurking in the community since 2008 as a scared 8 year old little girl. I remember going on wrongplanet for a few minutes a week when I got home from school in 3rd grade just reading threads. Lesbians and aces (again, especially female aces) have to come together because tbh y'all dont realize the damage it does to people like me. Ill find a seemingly cool ace blog only to find out they're a garden variety liberal lesbophobe. Ive found many a lesbian blog thats violently aphobic. Like I just stumbled on a post from a person begging for help to pay their medical bills and I went onto their blog to see how theyve been doing recently and like. So much violent malicious intent towards asexuals...I just dont get it. In not welcome on either fucking side because each side hates one part of my identity. Just fucking stop it and be respectful you bunch of Dumbass freaks.

Tl;dr existing on tumblr is difficult for me as an autistic ace lesbian because both sides of ace discourse use autistics as pawns and the inclusionists hate lesbians and the exclusionists hate aces.

Ultimately, if I *had* to pick a side I'd still pick inclusionism because at the end of the day I believe aces and aros are inherently lgbt.